#(btw I find that so funny they just kill him for the first movie. fuck them kids)

[coern]

this is the first movie where he actually has to save the world so he's all like 'wtf I cant do that that's too hard. I'm ten' and its so funny because like I'm so sorry boy you have like 21 movies of saving the world ahead of you.

[maulfucker]

Ok some thoughts about senator Maul AU because I keep thinking about it

Palpatine never finds an apprentice in this AU, so he ends up not being such a huge threat

The events of Phantom Menace only kinda happened - Naboo was attacked by the Trade Federation, but there was no Sith to pursue them and kill Qui-Gon, so things got resolved much more easily

Qui-Gon lives, so he gets to train Anakin, and Dooku doesn't get tempted by the dark side

I think Dooku still quits the Jedi Order, but this time it's because he feels like he could do more good as a politician than as a jedi. He keeps a good relationship with the Jedi Order and the Republic and doesn't become a separatist

Every time he's in Coruscant he visits Qui-Gon and Anakin (and Obi-Wan) and chats with them over a nice lunch, which is good because it gives Anakin a politician role model that isn't Palpatine, and a better perspective of his options - he can leave the Order if he finds a new purpose, it's not a betrayal or a failure

Maul was raised in Dathomir so he's not a sith murder machine, but since he's such a powerful Force-senstitive he was raised closer to his mother and the Nightsisters than to his brothers and the Nightbrothers

(Savage and Feral are alive and happy btw. They visit Maul in Coruscant sometimes. I think he might also have one or two sisters because why not)

He still doesn't like Jedi but it's like. He doesn't want to kill them, he just thinks they're way too limiting and self-righteous. Like how Obi-Wan doesn't like politicians

He rarely makes speeches on the senate, so hearing him speak is a rare treat

Picture holonet social media hornyposting under every clip of him speaking because he has a very sexy voice

His outfits are also pretty daring (read: sexy) compared to most (male) senators. The entire Dathomir delegation dresses pretty similarly, but he gets the most attention

Maul vs Padmé who wore it better type posts

He and Padmé have this weird kinda-rivalry because they're very opposite in a lot of ways, but they still vote on the same side in a lot of topics since they both have a very "I am doing this for my people" mentality

He also absolutely hates Palpatine because he gets extremely rotten vibes from him (he's more attuned to the dark side than the Jedi so he probably Feels Palpatine's dark side vibes better than the Jedi. He Feels Palpatine is Bad)

When/if the Jedi Order ever finds out Palpatine is a sith he will be very unsurprised

Ventress is a representative and Maul's "apprentice", learning the Senate life from him

I'm making her younger than her "canon" age here (by about 10ish years) because it makes more sense to me and because giving Maul a government-assigned baby sister is funny

From what we see in the movies each world seems to only have one senator but I want the Dathomir delegation to have at least two because I think it's more fitting (and realistic, every world needs more than one senator what the fuck)

I think it would be funny if Maul swears he's gonna quit soon and Ventress will take his place in the senate but then the other senator retires first and makes Ventress her successor so Maul has to stay a senator for longer. He just wants to get out of this fucking planet

On the Jedi side of this AU I think Anakin grows into a much more disciplined jedi because Qui-Gon the rules bender would definitely stay in contact with Shmi so Anakin's anxieties regarding his mom will be more controlled, and they would be contacted immediately when she gets kidnapped by the tuskens so they save her faster and she doesn't die and neither do the tuskens and everything is fine

Plus Anakin gets to know his new family better and have a brother and add a new dad to his collection <3

Maybe Obi-Wan gets Ahsoka as a padawan this time, so she can have a master who actually wants to teach, and also be kinda-siblings with Anakin and cause chaos with him while Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan aren't looking

The Separatists never really take off, so the clone wars never happen, but I think the attacks on senators that were happening at the start of AotC still happen because I think it's fun to have drama and have Jedi escorts assigned to senators (read: good excuse to set up an obimaul and allow the anidala plot to happen)

I want Maul to be miserable wet cats with Obi-Wan on Kamino so I am allowing the clones to exist. Purely for comedic plot opportunity. And because I love clones so I want them to exist

But I think this time they only made a single batch of like 10-100 clones and were waiting for the Jedi to get back to them with approval to make more

Maul sees this and goes "Absolutely the fuck NOT" so no more clones are made after those. Sad!

With Maul there to help the Jango fight is much more successful (and 50% less humiliating on Obi-Wan's side) so they capture him and no one has to die

Sidious had to hire Jango this time since I am not letting him have an apprentice, so Jango is like "I was hired by some old weirdo in a cloak who called himself Darth Sidious who sounded and looked a lot like the chancellor from Naboo" and Maul feels so fucking vindicated that YES the bad vibes he gets from Palpatine were correct can we PLEASE kill him now

Jango gets arrested and maybe he makes a deal to work under the Jedi instead of staying in jail so he can take care of Boba instead of leaving him to his own luck

Boba being raised with Jedi younglings while Jango is busy offworld....

The clones also become part of the Jedi Order so they can help Jedi with peacekeeping and defense and stuff

Palpatine gets found out and arrested and/or killed by the Jedi and everyone else gets to live happily ever after. Eventually.

... this is. Way longer than planned. I'm having fun

[loveofbots]

Can you write about Rodimus, Swerve, and Whirl sneaking on their human s/o computer because they’re curious. and they accidentally install a bunch of viruses and other stuff?

I’m in a silly mood so I shall!!

Whirl:

- Where is his human >:((

- Charges into your hab suite as if he is coming to kill you, but in reality that’s just how he says hello

- Human isn’t here?? Puter!!!!

- Ok fr whirl is the WORST person to ever have open access to your personal stuff. He doesn’t even try to hide the fact he was on your computer. That bird is opening every file, clicking on pop ups to try and go down a rabbit hole. 

- He wants to see if you’re secretly as fucked up as he is, if you are, congrats! Whirl feels terrible that you went through a similar experience to him.

You return, head pounding from the droning of Ultra Magnus and his list of highly specific rules that you promise to yourself you will never memorize. Honestly you just wanted a warm drink, your cozy pajamas, and your big bird to cuddle with. Hopefully he wasn’t feeling too chaotic today. Upon opening your bedroom door you found that wasn’t going to be the case. There was whirl, hunched over your tiny laptop that was blue screened, one golden optic staring back at you. 

“Hey, ‘puter broke.”

“Goddamnit Whirl.” 

Swerve: 

- Actually the only person on this list allowed to use your laptop, specifically for watching human shows/YouTube. 

- One day however, after watching one too many hacker shows and a couple computer tech tutorials, curiosity gets the better of swerve and he opens up the files on your laptop. 

- He types in a few commands, hoping to discover the hidden secrets of the human internet. Totally not looking for anything dirty you may have saved. All goes well at first, he does end up finding some dirt on you. Good luck keeping that a secret now btw. 

- Until he goes into your settings and completely messes up your computer. He’s freaking out, what did he just do!? Swerve is frantically trying to fix everything and just making it worse. The poor minibot starts panicking when he imagines your angry face seeing how he messed up your computer. 

Seeing Swerve crying in front of your laptop was... surprisingly not uncommon. Usually the answer was a very sad earth movie, or perhaps even ultra cute earth animals. So when you went to comfort your mech you were taken aback when he tried to push you away. 

“Swerve, what’s wrong?” 

“I-I-I messed up! I really, really messed up! I’m so sorry Y/N.” The bot burst into tears when you saw the state of your computer and gasped. Babbling about how it was his fault and an accident and he would do anything to make it up to you. Your sweet kiss shuts him up effectively. “You’re not... Mad?”

“No, we can work this out together.” Your computer was fine. 

Rodimus: 

- Him? With unrestricted internet access? That’s the set up to a bad joke. 

- Roddy got bored and like the devious totally innocent captain he is, decided to look at what you’ve been up to online. Please please imagine him laying on his stomach with his feet kicking in the air on this tiny ass laptop this is so funny to me.

- Definitely checks ALL your socials. Dating all the way back to when you were still on earth. His spark warms a bit seeing you so happy on a planet he’s been to before. Maybe makes a few embarrassing posts as you on your social media. 

- Checks your search history to see if there’s anything raunchy. Rodimus ends up on some really sketchy websites. And yeah, he does try to download a car.

- Freaks out when suddenly a thousand pop ups start clouding the screen of your laptop. OH- Oh he’s in big trouble now. 

“What are you doing?”

The prime lets out an indignant shriek as he slams your laptop shut. Your accusing tone mocking his very existence. Wide blue optics meet your eyes, and he tries to give you a smile. A very, guilty looking smile.

“NOTHING! Nothing, I mean. Just being your captain and making sure you aren’t hiding some super secret earth information or anything.” Primus, that sounded bad even by his standards. Your crossed expression was what broke him however, and with a pout handed you back your laptop. 

Needless to say he was definitely grounded from the internet the next month or so, child locks and all. 

[blackghostm2o]

I’ve seen Dario Argento’s “PotO”, it fucking sucks :) end of my ramblings

Ok… Not really…. Really long yapping session, so beware.

First of all I fucking hate how it says that it was partly funded by our (Italian) government, haha between this shit, Papmusic and Gioventù ribelle (a game) I’m starting to think that this is just a way to clean some dirty money… How tf do you even fund all this shit??? The 3 things that I’ve mentioned are all abysmal and almost feel like scams.

Abandoned this part of me being mad at our government for investing in shitty stuff while also cutting funding for our culture related things, we can talk about the movie (btw I’ve seen it in Italian)

I HATE CHRISTINE! I DON’T BELIEVE THAT I’VE HATED HER CHARACTER MORE THAN THIS. Like the rat catcher said SHE’S A FUCKING WHORE, my goodness gracious… Can we all talk about how she always looks ready to moan every fucking time she kisses someone? Also in the whole harem thing, her being NASTY AF? And I know that’s just Raoul’s wet dreams, but FOR FUCK’S SAKE DARIO! YOU ARE FILMING YOUR OWN DAUGHTER BEING FREAKY! My God… She fucking with the RAT (I won’t call that mf Erik). And her being so in love with him, but at the same time she isn’t??? Huh?? And I was annoyed by Kay!Christine, here she is worse. I wanted her to stfu, I wanted to punch her so bad you have no idea…

Raoul Raoul… What can I say about him? The two barely have something together. At the bar (?) he got friend zoned so hard that he reached brother status… Him at the harem was horrible “Whee whee I wAnT cHriStiNe!” His hair was horrible, his “beard” was horrible, his character was inexistent. Useless.

Everyone was so mean to LaCarlotta for no reason, “Oh tHaT CoW” “oH sHe LoOkS LiKe sHiT” “Oh ShE CaN’T sinG”. She wasn’t really that bad, she wasn’t a complete asshole like 1990 Carlotta and also I’d be always mad too if everyone was so heartless with me. I LOVED that they made her napoletana, hilarious but not in a bad way.

They put Degas here for no reason

One of the directors is a fucking pedophile for no reason, he gets killed (thank goodness) and no one even acknowledges it. The ex director dies in front of the new ones and they just stand there and watch him slowly die (like wtf???).

The dude that was cut in a half at the start of the movie was so fucking funny, lmfao.

Now we talk about the RatFucker… He was putting a rat in his pants… Hence the name people gave him. The was SAVED BY RATS WHEN HE WAS A KID ABANDONED IN A DAMNED RIVER!!! And lived with them… So… How did he even learn to write, to talk and to play the organ? Ahh, we don’t know. This mf HAS NO DEFORMITY, I guess that the true distortion lied on his soul *wink wink* and I also find it really annoying how nasty looking he is. This man has no drip! Where is the masked man that behaved like a gentleman (when not angered obviously ) and had finesse? That charming asshole? Apparently not here. No lasso, here we kill like rats! You heard me right, we go and eat people, we BITE THEIR TONGUES OUT (I had to stop the movie to process that fucking scene, it was too unexpected) and occasionally stab them. He also seems to have some kind of powers? Idk, strange shit. He doesn’t actually teach anything, he just uses his fantastic powers to make Christine sing well. He is to sexual… I don’t like it.I was SO HAPPY WHEN THEY KILLED HIM!!! FINALLY!!! HE DESERVED IT!

This movie has so mach sex and nudity, why? Why would you need something like this in a poto movie? You had no decent plot so you went “Well… Let’s put some sex and some tits, but also dicks (we can’t let the women feel left out), people love it!”

This is not a poto adaptation, it retains basically nothing from its original, they could’ve called it something else and it would have still worked.

I hated LND, but this shit it’s even worse. DO NOT WATCH IT, SAVE YOUR EYES FROM THIS! I’ve lost precious time watching this dogshit movie.

It’s almost 3am… God…

Bye

[rinasunny]

Red Eye (2005) Early Screenplay Trivia

First of all, I'm very sorry for clogging your Red Eye/Jackson x Lisa feed with DVD commentary. I was planning to do the same with the final shooting script but I guess it will just one post with the juiciest stuff (and just give the link to the script with highlited Jackson/Lisa stuff).

Now, to the main topic of the post. In 2011 someone nicknamed "cougarlady" posted a link for Red Eye's early script draft by Carl Ellsworth on Cillian Murphy's fan forum (https://cillianforum.proboards.com/thread/4257/original-red-eye-script). The bad news is the link currenty doesn't work. The good news is one printed copy of that script still exists. If you have spare 169$ you can purchace it on e-bay (https://www.ebay.com/itm/353755359870). Another good news: some lucky fellas on the forum shared their impressions regarding the script so we have some bits and pieces of the early movie script, which is quite different from the final product. So here's what they

One more important thing to consider (it wasn't discussed on the forum) - Lisa and Jackson were meant to be older (5-10 years) than Rachel and Cillian were at the time of shooting. Especially given that Wes' first dream casting were Sean Penn and Robyn Wright (who were married at the time btw).

Lisa's backstory was different: she wasn't raped but lost her husband instead (he died). Also she had an affair with Keefe at some point. (accoriding to Cyraus)

Speaking of Keefe, he was meant to be a businessman, he only became a polititian after test screenings. (this wasn't mentioned on the forum, but you can find it out in DVD commentary and interviews maybe).

Rippner was the one to stand up to irritated passanger (Lisa didn't take part in it, I guess). (accoriding to Cyraus)

Jackson seems to be much more cruel and cold-hearted than Cillian's rendition. Users described him as narcissist and sociopath. "Also, this Script-Rippner seemed very inconsequent about his feelings for Lisa. He seems to REALLy hate her at some parts." (quote by iseebutterfly)

Jackson threatens Lisa to kill not only Joe, but her entire family. It seems like he killed her grandmother, unfortunately no context, 'cause in the movie the last part would make no sence. (according to cougarlady)

Funny enough Jackson has no tangible evidence that he can order kill anyone (unlike the movie). (according to cougarlady)

And despite this the chemistry is still present. "I love the scene where he kisses her forehead, even if just to unsettle her, but I hate that the took away this thing they had, this weird chemistry, neither of them could explain." (quote by iseebutterfly)

The early script doesn't have the lavatory scene yet. (accoriding to Cyraus)

"The part where he has her in his clutches ready to break her neck with his mouth crawling over her almost makes up for not having the lavatory scene." (quote by Cyraus)

A little bit about Jackson's name. Given his "No Lie" rule (at least when it comes to Lisa) the watchers assume it is his real name. However, Wes said in one of interviews that it is made up (to suit Lisa's father initials). A this is quite confusing tbh. Anyway the early draft suggests that Jackson's real name is... George King. And you thought Jack Rippner was bad... Although there is no consensus on whether or not "George" is his real name either. (according to Cyraus, cougarlady and iseebutterfly)

Jackson and Lisa had a dialogue where Lisa said that his is fucked. His replies are "Lisa, that language doesn't suit you." and "If you don’t look at me, you’ll get a glimpse of just how f*cked I am." There's no context unfortunately. (according to Cyraus and Cait)

The ending was different. They do not specify it. But from what we know from DVD commentary, the final fight in the Reiserts' house was Wes's idea.

P.S.: I probably missed something, so I suggest to check out the forum page yourself.

[2offayyo-kzt]

I'm going to explain why 'Brain Scramblies' is my favorite episode of wwdits and a genius TV episode :

Simply because this episode is funny as hell and there are a lot of subtle references, I decided to list the ones I noticed from the most explicit to the most implicit :

Charmaine's name origin ¦

So her name is obviously taken from the movie Ocean's Eleven.

It's the name of a prostitute who helped the protagonists of the movie to get a badge from a technician who works in the casino.

She stole it from one of the technicians 'Edward' by using her charms (him being drunk and crazy in love with her)

In the same way that Sean fell madly in love with Charmaine in the show.

_____

'Inferno' by Dan Brown ¦

In one of the rooms that Nadja ruins to find the Jade necklace that belonged to her mother, we see on a bedside table a book "Inferno" by Dan Brown.

This is the beginning of the Wikipedia summary : "Robert Langdon wakes up in the middle of the night in the hospital, almost amnesiac and having suffered a concussion. Nevertheless, all his other intellectual and psychic functions remain intact. Disoriented, with a head injury, he has no memory of the last 36 hours. He does not know why he is in Florence and where the object that the doctors discovered in his belongings came from. A dream torments his mind, that of an old veiled woman wearing an amulet around her neck..."

_____

'The Golden Lily' by Richelle Mead ¦

After Sean has his brain in a pudding state and falls back in love with Charmaine again, this is one of the sentences he says to her :

"You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen."

It is the exact beginning of a quote from the book "The Golden Lily" written by Richelle Mead, which talks about vampires.

"You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen walking this earth. You have no clue of how beautiful you are or how brightly you shine"

Brief summary of the book :

"Sydney Sage is an Alchemist, one of a group of humans who dabble in magic and serve to bridge the worlds of humans and vampires. They protect vampire secrets-and human lives."

This may have been the only way Sean could explain to his wife, in a fucked-up state, that the neighbors are vampires.

(The idea that Sean reads teenage romance vampire fiction is killing me 😭🤣)

_____

'The Vampire Diaries' ¦

Sean's declaration of love is full of references, here is a new one :

He pronounced this while offering the Jade necklace : "It's a token of my undying love", an almost similar phrase was uttered in episode 2 of season 8 of the Vampires Diaries.

"[...]will you do me the honor of wearing this engagement ring, as a token of my love"

It's a proposal from Stephan, a vampire, and then the couple kiss in the same way that Charmaine and Sean kissed after he offered the necklace.

_____

One of my favorite references, probably the most speculative :

'Mama Lucha' ¦

When he 'first' sees Charmaine, he exclaims this :

I found no meaning for this word, we could say that it's a compliment he invented thanks to his fried brain.

However, I think he exclaimed "Mama Lucha !", because after some research, it wouldn't surprise me if Sean, a hugefan of heist movies, is actually referring to this woman : "Luz María Endara Altamirano" better known by the alias 'Mama Lucha'

There is little information about this woman but in short she was "an Ecuadorian extortionist, who was prosecuted for the crimes of tax evasion and treason."

After her death it is said that : "In the San Roque market, where one of her houses is located and where she used to live, there is an atmosphere of amnesia. Most of the shopkeepers say they do not know her, they do not know who she is."

Might be a reference that in this episode Sean became amnesiac.

Even funnier, it is just possible that Sean just noticed that his wife shares a slight resemblance with the emblem of the supermarket Bodega Aurrerá also called "Mama Lucha" :

_____

Btw a lot of the lines Sean says are similar to phrases from the 1999 series ' The Sopranos' like "get the fuck out of here" or "who's that piece of ass"

Synopsis : "Tony Soprano, a gangster living in New Jersey, suffers from panic attacks and must secretly see a psychologist, Dr. Jennifer Melfi. Tony has problems with his family: he is in conflict with his wife Carmela, his two children, Meadow and Anthony Junior, his mother Livia and his uncle "Junior"

Well I know nothing about the show and I'm going into bullshit, but from the synopsis, Carmela could be Charmaine, Livia could be Joan (Sean's mother) and once Sean mentioned his uncle "Fulvio"

Tony & Carmela :

_____

Finally ! the post is over, all this to conclude that the writers of wwdits are geniuses 🙌

Please feel free to reblog this post, to make discover to the greatest number the fucking pure genius of wwdits 😌

[livebeginning]

Whoops here's more about my boy Mio, from my fic Pretty Little Pet where I ship him with Raphael! Some thoughts on:

Mio’s name

Raphael and Haarlep (specifically their relationship in my fic)

Mio and Haarlep

Mio’s name

When Raphael asks him what to call him he says “Whatever you want”. And when others ask who he is, he says that he’s Raphael’s pet. So, Mio hasn’t told anyone his name. This isn’t intentional btw, Mio isn’t aware of this.

Raphael only ever calls him “pet” and Haarlep calls him by various nicknames, eventually settling on “kitten”.

I think the contract Raphael made with Mio’s parents doesn’t mention his name, only referring to him by “first born child” because then the contract still works even if Mio changed his name.

All of this means (and I’m not sure yet if I’m making this canon) that it’s entirely possible Raphael doesn’t know Mio’s name. And Mio doesn���t know that Raphael doesn’t know. I just think that’s funny ^^’

I got the name from Astrid Lindgren’s “Mio, my son”, I never read the book but I watched the movie as a kid and just liked the name.

Raphael and Haarlep

(This is specifically about Raphael and Haarlep’s relationship within my fic, not necessarily an interpretation of canon, although I’ve tried to keep it canon compliant.)

When Raphael first received Haarlep he binds them to secrecy with a contract or spell. He still suspects that Haarlep might find a way to tell Mephsitopheles things so he takes care not to let them know anything he wouldn’t want Mephisto to know. (He doesn’t know that Haarlep isn’t there to spy on him, they were literally just sent to distract him from some scheme of his that was getting on Mephisto’s nerves.)

Raphael uses them for sex, which suits Haarlep fine. At some point they both figure out that Raphael is a total sub and while Raphael denies this at first because he’s embarrassed, he eventually accepts it, convincing himself that it’s only because he’s always in charge during his day-to-day life, so of course reversing roles during sex would be a good outlet and let him relax (and yes, that’s part of it, but he also just enjoys being submissive). Haarlep doesn’t actually care about Raphael being a sub and doesn’t think anyone else would either. And while this secret getting out wouldn’t ruin Raphael, it would still embarrass him.

They’ve been together for centuries, Haarlep probably knows Raphael better than anyone else. They’ve been having sex together for so long they’ve become bored of each other. While Raphael has sex with other people as well, he doesn’t want him being submissive to get out, so he keeps it pretty vanilla with other partners and doesn’t have any long term sexual relationships. This means that Haarlep is the only person who can fulfill his needs for when he wants to be submissive. He lets/makes Haarlep dom him all the time, they don’t really have any other kind of sex anymore, even though Haarlep would like to switch it up sometimes.

Haarlep can sometimes really get on Raphael’s nerves, but he can’t easily get rid of them because they were a gift and releasing or killing them would be considered an insult. While he doesn’t really care about what his father thinks of him, killing Haarlep isn’t worth finding out what Mephisto would do in retaliation. Haarlep knows this and likes to push the boundaries, Raphael will punish them if they go too far but sometimes, punishment is better than boredom. 

Boredom is really Haarlep’s biggest problem. As a personal incubus they’ve got it pretty good as far as possible positions for succubi/incubi go. They have at some point convinced Raphael to let other people have sex with them as well, as Raphael didn’t use them often enough and they need at least some “sex energy” to stay healthy, if not alive.

Raphael made them take his form when he was much younger, so that’s why Haarlep looks slightly different from him. Raphael makes them have sex with people who want to fuck him as part of their contract (he words the contract in such a way that it doesn’t actually have to be him). Also the thing where the people whose form they have taken can feel what they feel is something they can turn on and off at will.

Mio and Haarlep

Haarlep doesn’t really care about Mio at first. Raphael will often play around with mortals for a few weeks or months before he loses interest and they disappear. They still like to tease and play with Mio and are a bit annoyed that they aren’t allowed to touch (or have sex with) him. They don’t break this rule because they would be punished too and they would rather keep playing with Mio.

Mio doesn’t really know what to make of Haarlep either. He knows they’re teasing him but at least they aren’t outright mean to him. They are also one of the few people in the HoH, aside from Raphael, he can have any kind of longer conversation with. Mio thinks of Haarlep as a kind of coworker, one who’s been working the job for ages and can be asked for advice, although they might not necessarily help him.

Things change a bit when Mio starts having sex with Raphael. Haarlep is pretty glad to have someone else to take care of Raphael’s sexual needs and give them a bit of a break. Which means they now have an interest in keeping Mio around and at least happy and healthy enough so he can keep Raphael satisfied enough in bed.

Raphael is pretty busy with work (writing fanfiction, stalking finding potential clients, torturing unfortunate souls, etc.) and doesn’t have time to keep either Haarlep or Mio entertained. Which ends up with them spending a lot of time together just talking, playing lanceboard or Haarlep teaching Mio a few tricks to use in the bedroom.

So, while Mio and Haarlep aren’t necessarily friends, they get along pretty well, keep each other company while Raphael doesn’t need them and Haarlep wants Mio to stick around as long as possible so he doesn’t have to visit Raphael’s bed as often anymore.

___

I've also already written 1.5k about Mio, sex and bdsm but that's for another post!!

[princessofxianle]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

well THANK YOU for asking, you are the first to!

tbh ive been meaning to do this on my main blog bc I take these wayyy too seriously lol but ANYWAY heres my top 10 faves (in no particular order) that I can think of (tbh theres prob more i forgot about, or i wanted to keep only 1 per fandom... except tgcf)

Huge Spoiler Warning: for ALL of tgcf, 2ha, aot, AND JJK MANGA!!!

1. Feng Xin (tgcf)

do i even need to explain this one? loyal to a fault, just a cute lil puppy, one hell of a sculpted archers back, and he's head over heels in love with Xie Lian (but tbh same) i have a lot of thoughts about him on a daily basis on this blog (and also theres the #fx backstory au tag)

2. Noé Archiviste (the Case Study of Vanitas)

MY BABY

the absolute bestest boy of EVER... with a LOAD of unprocessed trauma (yknow the typical stuff like seeing your childhood bff get decapitated in front of you) and a lot more to come once we find out how he kills his boyfriend best friend, Vanitas...

i ALSO think about him a lot but over on @noes-pillow

3. Sejanus Plinth (The Hunger Games: tbosas)

hated reading as a child... HATED it... picked up the og trilogy when i was 12 and i was a goner. The funny thing is i still hated reading for YEARS up until i picked up the prequel novel then in 2020, and now ive read all of tgcf, 2ha, and more fanfic than i could ever imagine... all because this stupid boy (i love him) chose to trust the WORST person as his friend, rip sejanus my baby

the movie is v good btw, if you havent seen it you should

4. Xie Lian (tgcf)

*Taizi Dianxia Fang Xin Guoshi General Hua Xie Lian*

how this man survived 800 years of being physically unable to die and never went insane is a mystery i will never be able to fully comprehend (aaand im in love with him... hmm i wonder why...)

5. Mihael "Mello" Keehl (Death Note)

the chocolate-addicted blonde boi that was my first anime crush... by proxy I must also add Mail "Matt" Jeevas because they are a package deal

these two are also the reason i started writing fanfic so they will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart

6. Xue Meng - (2ha)

*sigh* he's just everyone's fav peacock (yes technically the image is XM 0.5 but he had a cool ass bird so im using this photo bc its COOL anyway...) mengmeng is another one of my trauma bois who has lost next to everything and yet is STILL kicking ass and taking names #thatsmyfuckingsectleader so proud of you my son

also this might get me into hot water here but imma go ahead and say it...

this is what i wanted Jiang Cheng to be... (i LOVE my angy grape but...) through thick and thin, despite EVERYTHING, and even mo ran fucking abandoning him he will still call mo ran his "ge"...

fgjhdfhfdg THEYRE BROTHERS, OKAY???

7. Howl Pendragon (Howl's Moving Castle)

ok this one i just simply do not need to explain... if you think i do, go watch this whole movie and then there ya go thats your answer...

GENDER

8. River Song (Doctor Who)

aside from being the character that unlocked my unhealthy obsession with :) Main Character Death :) at the ripe ol' age of 8 YEARS (although Will Turner from POTC also helped on that front... Orlando Bloom my beloved) River's story was a stroke of absolute GENIUS from start to finish and i simply love how Alex Kingston played her...

"You don't expect a sunset to admire you back."

I just love the doomed ones, okay...

9. Satoru Gojo (Jujutsu Kaisen)

look... theres *gojo girlies* uwu and then theres GOJO GIRLIES... i couldn't give 2 shits about how he's fan-serviced (tho im not complaining) but have you SEEN the amount of grief pumped into that man? he could explode in a fit of fucking insanity at literally any moment and take the whole goddamn world down with him bc what happened with suguru WASNT FAIR to him and satoru has more than enough power to go apeshit... but he DOESN'T... even after losing so many of his co-sorcerers... he still puts on a brave face to the end in order to protect the childhood of his students even tho his own youth was stolen from him during hidden inventory...

SEE? The DOOMED ones!

10. Levi Ackerman (Attack on Titan)

i read the manga during my last year of uni and when i tell you i SOBBED at the end... yes ofc for obvious reasons, but mostly bc my little Levi loses EVERYTHING. He is the SOLE survivor of the veteran scouts. He's missing multiple fingers, an eye, and the ability to walk. He was the strongest (yowaimo) but wasn't even granted the mercy to die at the end of his narrative! Broke my fucking heart.

BONUS: Morph (Treasure Planet)

he's a morph!!! nuff said <3

fin

[pieofdeath]

ok my liveblog of the first spiderverse movie below the cut because its fuck off long. its 6 pages on google docs. for people who don't wanna read that- I had a very good time and I thoroughly enjoyed it, I'm gonna queue up the second one here shortly. i legitimately cried several times.

Intro fucking slaps

Miles’ dad using the cop sirens and car speaker to make miles say ily back. I hate that i find this incredibly funny.

ARE THOSE NIKES. DID SONY GET THE RIGHTS FOR NIKES.

MIDDLE SCHOOL. Oh my god. Middle school. Hes a kid. Hes at most 14. Oh my god.

DOC OCK <3

GWEN SPOTTED!!!!!

Fisk family foundation. Is this the time i should mention my extent of spiderman knowledge comes from my faefriend (very little they just show off the cool suits) and the snapcube fandub.

Uncle aaron rules and i think hes gonna die

Alchemax. Wasnt that the name on the spider from the intro. 

I THINK I GET IT NOW

SPIDER IN THE CEILING SPOTTED

This movie is so pretty btw i know everybody says that but its simply true. It is. Its really pretty.

The graffiti slaps

I've switched to typing these on my phone so I don't have to keep pausing

SPIDER BITE

THAT WAS THE COOLEST THING EVER. INCREDIBLE TRANSITION. LOVE HOW MILES BARELY CARED AND JUST SLAPPED THE SPIDER 

Yeah those are actual Nikes 

THE VOICE IN HIS HEAD POST SPIDERMAN BEING REPRESENTED AS COMIC BUBBLES

HOLY SHIT THIS MOVIE IS GENIUS.

Why doesn't she want people to know her name is Gwen? Why is she lying about being south African 😭

gwanda. Wanda. 

THE SHOULDER TOUCH. MILES YOU ARE SO SILLY 

“I don't think you know what puberty is”

STICKY SPIDER BOY.

SHE FULL THREW HIM HOLY CRAP

“No one saw” literally everyone saw

the double take for the super tall girl. that's incredibly realistic/gen I think this movie is awesome 

OUT LOUD BARK-LAUGHED AT “play dumb.” “Who's Morales” “NOT THAT DUMB.”

Idiot spider smashing into windows. obsessed with him.

the zoom in on the eyes. this art style is incredible 

THE INCREDIBLY SICK LAND AFTER HE GOT HIT BY THE CAR!!!

page break 1

“It's like. boring how normal this spider is.” and it immediately glitching in and out. INCREDIBLE.

The SPIDER SENSE. HOLY SHIT. 

THE GIANT LOOK OUT ON THE WINDOW.

SPIDERMANNNNN

“Brooklyn is not zoned for that” 😭

The little squiggles as Peter RealizesTM

who the fuck is purple guy genuinely 

MILES RECORDING THE FIGHT I LOVE HIM

KINGPIN 💖

I genuinely don't have words for how fucking incredible that was

“Can't you get up?” “Yeah, yeah I always get up.” Hm I don't think that's gonna be true for much longer

Is spiderman blonde I thought he was a brunette 

DID HE JUST FUCKING KILL SPIDER-MAN!!!

Ok purple guy is cool as hell

HE IMMEDIATELY RAN HOME. I'm going to cry. 

This kid is 14. I'm going. 

SO YES HE LEGITIMATELY DIED.

STAN'S COLLECTIBLES. HI MR LEE. AUGJDJAKAKC…. 😭 (these r agonized noises)

“I'm going to miss him.” EUFHFJSKAK

We were friends, you know.” SURIEJSKAKDUFUA

“It always fits. Eventually.” EURUFJDKAKDJCJK.

you can't fucking do this to me. 

This is just a kid with a party city suit that doesn't fit and untied shoes.

THE AAAAAAA AS HE FALLS

oh shit he broke the drive thingy

The suit still has the fucking tag on it.

EVERYTHING AROUND PETER'S GRAVE.

“I'm sorry Mr. Parker.” AUDJFJDJDJAK…..

LIGHTNING POWERS

PETERRRRRR THE PETER IVE SEEN

THE INTRO DEFINITELY HAD OFF BRAND COCA COLA AND THIS ONE HAS LEGITIMATE COKE

HOLY SHITTTTT

he's divorced and aunt may is dead D:

Crying in the shower in the spiderman suit with a piece of pizza on the tub rim I think this is the most spiderman img ever

“I'm pretty sure I broke her heart”

Nick Kroll and John Mulaney “hi, hello” but they're super old 😭

YEAH OK OK IT WAS KOCA SODA. 

“I don't think my atoms are real jazzed about being in the wrong dimension”

“With great power comes great-” “Don't you DARE finish that sentence”

Miles crouching on the side of the wall

page break 2

ITS THE MEME IMG YAAAY

CLACKITY CLACKITY CLACKITY-

MILES CAN TURN INVISIBLE 

HER INSANE DESKTOP

HES JUST TAKING THE WHOLE COMPUTER!!!

GWEN ALCHEMAX INTERN

“let me tell you the good news. We don't need the monitor.” 😭

BAGEL! guy!!!!!

GWENNNNNNNNN

Ok I paused during the swinging scene to go get some food and get dressed and then came back

It was oatmeal btw

OHHH THIS IS NOT THE GWEN HERE

The fact that all of the intro shots are the same is very fun to me

Peters her best friend AWWW

OH IT IS THE GWEN HERE!!!

I THOUGHT IT WAS!! BECAUSE SHE WAS WEIRD ABOUT HIS STICKY POWERS

AND SHE TIME TRAVELED TOO… SO COOL

“I like your haircut.” “You don't get to like my haircut.”

“How many more spider people are there?” “Save it for comic-con” “what's comic-con”

Every time we cut to kingpin I lose it 

AW VANESSA AND RICHARD :(

why is this guy blue btw they haven't addressed it at allllll 

Fascinated by Gwen’s universe where Peter Parker isn't spiderman.

AWW PETER AWAKE IN THE BACKSEAT 

AUNT MAYYYYYY

I'm literally obsessed with aunt may 

ALL THE DIFFERENT SPIDERSUITS!!!!!

my faefriend has told me about all these I think. like a good chunk of these I recognize. No idea what they're called or what they do but.

THE IMG OF MILES LOOKING UP AT THE SPIDERSUIT.

THE NAME TAGS FROM THE INTROSSSS

SPIDEY SENSES

SPIDER NOIR HEHEHEHAHAUD

PENI AND HER FUNKY LITTLE MECH!

HIIIIIII SPIDERHAMMNMM!!!!!

LITERALLY OBSESSED WITH SPIDERNOIR. 

the dichotomy between noir peni and ham is so so funny

Noir is so cool

Augh… Them talking about how he isn't ready when he's right there…

HIS DAD CALLING HIS UNCLE… 

Why is he writing a letter in marker

Fucking prowler. looks so cool

OH SHIT PROWLER IS UNCLE AARON!?!?!

page break 3

NO LONGER WORRIED ABOUT HIS SAFETY HOLY SHIT

DID HE BRING HIM TO THE TUNNEL WITH THE INTENT OF SPIDERMAN?!

Uncle Aaron HAS to know that it's Miles

This is so fucked

Peni doing her fun thing!

Noir trying to identify colors!

Does that mean noir can only see grayscale. that's hilarious.

I love the different art styles

Aunt may like please let's not fight in my house

“We don't pick the ballroom, we just dance” noir I'm obsessed with you

Did ham just crack a plate over his own head

I love that he can turn invisible that's so cool 

Especially when he keeps flickering in and out when he's scared. Miles my beloved 

OH HE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS MILES OH THANK GOD

I mean this is really really sad but also good because it means he isn't knowingly  homicidal towards his nephew 

HOLY SHIT. 

KINGPIN SHOOTING UNCLE AARON BECAUSE HE DIDNT KILL MILES

I'm going to sob on the fucking floor

HIS DAD 

HIM TURNING INVISIBLE BECAUSE HE DIDNT WANT TO FACE HIS DAD AIGHSJDKA…

HIS INVISIBLE POWERS ARE LITERALLY THE MOST HEARTBREAKING THING IN THE WORLD

HE THINKS MILES KILLED HIS UNCLE FUCKKKKKKKK

THEM NAMING ALL THE PEOPLE WHO THEY WATCHED DIE. AUDJFJCJSKAF…

IM LEGITIMATELY TEARIN UP GANG FUCK THIS MOVIEEEE

if you can't tell I love it

“Miles, the hardest thing about this job is… you can't always save everybody.” SAID BY A LITTLE CARTOON PIG VOICED BY JOHN MULANEY. 

ALL OF THEM CRAMMED ON THE CEILING OF MILES DORM HOLY SHIT 

Noir is really funny to look at in the light

I don't think noir is in the second one which is 😭

The relationship between Miles and his Dad is literally going to make me cry

THE LIGHTNING CRACKLING IN HIS EYES AND THEN HIM BURSTING THROUGH THE WEBS AND THE PATTERN ON HIS SKIN!!!!!!!!!!!

Aunt May waiting for Miles in the basement!!!! 

HIS EYES LINING UP WITH THE SPIDERMAN SUIT WHEN THEY HADN'T BEFORE.

The what's up danger scene really is that fucking incredible. oh my god. I got chills.

He spray painted his suit and the spider is drippy!!! I'm literally about to go feral.

The hoodie and jacket and Nikes and shorts still over the suit. 

The WOOOOO as he goes up the place he fell before.

The incredible shot of him stationary mid-air that I think was the poster

This is literally the coolest movie ever

page break 4

HIS COMIC JOINING THE PILE.

THEM DRESSED AS WAITERS DJDJDJJAJAJC

PETER AND MJ…

DRAMATIC CUT TO NOIR HOLDING A PLATTER AND GWEN SO GODDAMN TIRED

MJ is so pretty in this art style btw. 

The Doc Ock tentacles creeping in through the ceiling right behind Peter…

MILESSSS

“I love you I'm so proud of you!” AUDHFJDJAJAJDK!!!!

MILES MAKING PETER RE-EVALUATE IF HE WANTS KIDS…

NEW YORK BREAKING APART

Noirs fight is SO COOL. Putting the hat on the guy and then punching him in the face.

sorry I love film noir as an aesthetic and spider noir is so cool

PENI V SCORPION 

THE FUCKING ANVIL. 

FUCK THEM UP HAM!!!!!

PENI HITTING THE GUY WITH A ROBOT ARM AND IT BRIEFLY FLICKERING TO HER ART STYLE!!!!

PENI’S ROBOT FRIEND D:

DOC OCK GETTING HIT BY A DAMN TRUCK

obsessed with Peni and Noir's friendship.

NOIR SAID HE LOVES THEM

HE TOOK THE RUBIX CUBE

EVERYTHING FLICKERING BLACK/WHITE WHEN NOIR ENTERS

HAM SAYING “THATS ALL FOLKS” AND PETER ASKING IF HE WAS LEGALLY ALLOWED TO SAY THAT 😭

GWEN AND MILES FRIENDSSSS

MILES HOLDING ONTO PETER'S SUIT AND DROPPING HIM IN. 

“It's a leap of faith.” FUCK YOU

“Not bad, kid.” FUCK YOU 

Miles taking kingskins gun and saying “that's cheating” 😭

VANESSA AND RICHARD LEAVING THE SAME WAY THEY DID IN THE FLASHBACK BECAUSE KINGSKIN WAS DOING THE SAME DAMN THING. FUCK ME DUDE.

MILES DAD IS WATCHING

THE ENTIRE FUCKING BRIDGE. 

This is the coolest fight scene ever btw

HE ELETROCUTED KINGSKIN WITH THE FUCKING SHOULDER TOUCH

the fact that the interconnected universes look like a spider's web. fuck dude.

HAMS ANVIL

THE BUILDING FUCKING EXPLODED. IS MILES’ DAD OK!!!

IS HE FUCKING OKAY!!!

OK THANK GOD HE'S ALIVE

HIS DAD OFFERING TO PUT UP SOME OF HIS ART AT THE POLICE STATION

C-MOBILE 😭

THE HUG!!!!!!!

page break 5

IM FULLY CRYIN BTW.

KINGSKIN HELD UP BY THE WEB. “FROM YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDERMAN.”

THE UNCLE AARON ART. FUCKING HELL DUDE.

Omg miles finally has friends

PENI'S ROBOT FRIEND!!!

NOIR SOLVED THE CUBE!!!! I proud of him

PETER GOING TO SEE MJ WITH FLOWERS…

GWEN CALLING OUT TO MILES ACROSS DIMENSIONS!!!!

THE SPRAY PAINT SPIDER

the credits are fucking INCREDIBLE

the different art styles I'm going to scream

NOIR SHOWING OFF THE CUBE. 

Did that just say Nicholas Cage.

Who the fuck is voiced by Nick Cage.

NOIR?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN HE'S NOIR HOLD THE FUCK ON.

N O I R?!?!

Incredible movie.

“That person who helps others simple because it should or must be done, and because it is the right thing to do, is indeed without a doubt, a real superhero. -Stan Lee” FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A CHAINSAW DUDE

Literally crying again over that.

Ok yeah that was a really good movie. I'm gonna start the second one in a bit. I think I need some recovery time 😭

Wait I skipped to the end to see if there was an after credits scene and. Ok obsessed with Spidey-Bells. 😭😭😭

MIGUELLLLLL I KNOW THIS GUYYYYYYY 

THE SPIDERMAN SCENE. THE POINTING SCENE.

IM GOING TO CRY THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

INCREDIBLE AFTER CREDITS SCENE.

end of liveblog! as you can see I really fucking liked it akjdfskajf I had to put the pagebreaks in otherwise tumblr got mad about like. 4096 characters per text block limit? ok wild. it provides checkpoints which I think is nice. onto the second movie.

[jaggedwolf]

pll rewatch 1x22

get its own post for finale reasons, the show does its first hitchcock homage, and the liars become the liars

getting ezria out of the way: even as fan of vest + tie combos ezra's outfit sucks this episode, he sucks for his useless texts, aria's tantrum at the faculty party is dumb, all of this is so stupid

ok ok the other note is that my friend remarked that when one of the liars goes "who do we know that's interested in younger girls" after the creep videos, none of them even think of ezra in that vein

which is distressingly warped even as it makes sense for these girls' worldviews: spencer does not view ian negatively until A gives them the video of him possibly killing ali, she views him positively in her flashback of kissing him

Spencer is so bad for saying that Melissa's baby might be inhuman but she is so fucking funny for saying "humor is subjective" instead of apologizing. I just really enjoy it when Spencer takes a break from being tormented to be the teenage brat she was born to be

Pam takes ten fucking years to answer Emily asking if her dad is okay and that is wild to me, Pam y'all are a military family and you should know better

why did the writers come up with this Texas plotline by the way, did they ever explain that?

Emily and Samara are exchanging the blandest emails. Why do all these girls email each other so much, the only things I emailed my high school friends about was schoolwork, otherwise it was all about texts

do you think they have negative associations with texting because of A. does only Spencer get tormented via email is she special like that.

Lucas is back! And still miffed about the danceathon ploy. I completely misremembered him already knowing Caleb before he goes on this fetch quest, but no, this is solely a "Hanna should know the truth" move

anw my take on how he tracks him down is that (1) Caleb's cheap-ass bus ride has lots of delays because that is his fucking luck (2) Lucas gets Caleb's number from Hanna's phone before passing it over to Emily

Okay, I make fun of the liars a lot for being super weird about the blind girl (who they are partially responsible for blinding), but most of the time I enjoy it, because of moments like this episode's where Jenna will be like come on bro :/ I'm just a girl who raped my step-brother via threats :/ just a girl who made a mistake and regretted it :/ why you gotta be so harsh bro :/

jenna we all saw you this season still trying to creep on toby when you were back in the same house...

this episode reveals that Spencer and I have very different notions of burner phones, because she bought this

while I would have gone for a nokia brickphone. Then again I think Spencer and I have different budgetary considerations for burner phones. (717 is indeed an area code for southern pennsylvania btw)

The Ian plan is not bad but maybe would be better if they didn't all swivel to stare at him instead of staring at the phone, you know, the means you purchased to communicate with him

All of the liars leave when Mona shows up (w/o busing their trays! Emily and Aria, your parents raised you better than this! Spencer had no tray and Hanna was not raised better than that) and I know it's primarily because they need to plot, but Spencer also clearly finds Mona super fucking annoying and I respect that

Emily when accosted by a cop that she should really trust him goes wow, maybe he has a point, and indeed calls Garrett later. ACAB, Emily, ACAB. (Except Officer Barry Maple, who has never done anything wrong ever.)

Okay so the real reason they made Garrett her former neighbour is so they could pretend he was on this street to see family, when he was actually here to get in on Rosewood men's favorite hobby: underage girls

why does he take off Jenna's sunglasses before he kisses her, that seems unnecessary.

please remember that Garrett's actor was Paolo in The Lizzie Maguire Movie. swear he was less bland in that

The Hannily porch scene is very endearing, Hanna is so delighted at the notion that Emily might have a type

Toby gets Spencer to chill out before she goes off to do her convoluted plan, which is a good dynamic for them

Spencer calls him a "safe place to land", which will come up again, and says she wants him away from danger because of that

firstly, sweet sentiment Spencer, but I do not think asking him to keep Jenna busy is keeping him safe, he would rather wrestle Ian in the woods any day

secondly, thinking about who Spencer feels the need to protect like this - she is protective over all the liars and Toby, but is she more "don't let danger breathe on them" about Toby and Emily?

at no point does anyone mention the car that t-boned Spencer and Melissa or its driver like, was it a phantom car, are Rosewood PD falling down on even this

Veronica gets some good mom points in comforting Spencer and telling her the crash wasn't her fault and that Melissa knows she cares

S1!Spencer is all about guilt so she takes this as her cue to nobly walk to the church to get Melissa's phone, only to get fucking jumpscared for her trouble

I really love the sequence from when Ian shows up till when the liars find Spencer at the top of the tower. It escalates so well, the tension ramping up, there's a phone call that forces the liars to simply listen as Spencer begs for her life and Ian recites how he's going to construct Spencer's suicide (and would have anyone believed the remaining liars if he'd succeeded?)

Spencer Hastings while being violently thrown about: Uh, Alison didn't die of blunt force trauma, she died of suffocation. ILU Spence never change

And she really gets thrown about! Jeez, someone escort her to a hospital checkup after this, there's probably a fracture somewhere in there

Love the liars fussing over Spence while she clings onto that wooden post. They immediately go "do not worry about having killed Ian, you are so fucking valid" and Spencer has to be like "no, I know it sounds like a traumatized mind coming up with shit but there really was a random hoodie that showed up"

That pan down to the body swinging and that being what set off the bells....still sick

Officer Barry Maple cannot believe these teenage girls lied about a fucking body, cue the entire town going whisper whisper whisper because they're all at the goddamn church

Even Noel Kahn. My dude, don't you have dudebro things to do that are more fun than this.

you know I bet Paige isn't at the church I bet she's at home stressed out about swimming or whatever. this is going to be my take on Paige for a while: that she has minimal awareness of the plot drama the liars are enmeshed in. Bet she didn't even know they got interrogated about rat blood trophy.

I forgot they have "I'm Not Calling You A Liar" play us out. Perfect song choice, but amusing solely to me, because: it is the first credits song for Dragon Age 2, and a long time ago someone asked me for a Hanna Marin crackship and I proffered Hanna/Fenris. Imagine the Liars in Kirkwall....

Our final A message of the season: It's not over until I say it is. Sleep tight while you still can, bitches.

[ifuckinglovedinosaurssomuchjesus]

Just got back from Godzilla X Kong!

First off, just a warning, there are some intense scenes of strobing lights and sound so be prepared if you have epilepsy. Likewise, it is a constant stream of loud sounds and colors with many fast cuts and no room to breath, which means my autistic ass got extremely overstimulated in the IMAX theater and had to cover my eyes and plug my ears at times to calm myself down, so be prepared for that too.

Now, on to my rambly and mildly spoilery first impressions under the cut.

Like I said, this movie has absolutely zero room to breathe. They sliced away every millisecond they could to keep the runtime below two hours and it translates into a film that just not shut up. It's like every scene lasts 30 seconds, even the kaiju battles are so quickly cut that it feels like this gif:

That being said, the actual story when you think about it, before the searing stream of action melts your brain, is very good. It's about how your home is your family, and that's paralleled in both Kong's story and the human story. Jia and her mom are the heart of the film and they've easily become some of my favorite human characters in the Monsterverse.

I'm not sure how to articulate my thoughts the best, so I guess I'll just talk about each of the kaiju and how I felt about them.

Despite getting top billing, Godzilla just straight up does not matter in this movie. It's %100 Kong's story, Godzilla really only matters at the end when he joins up for the big finale fight and even then it kind of feels like Kong had this all handled. In fact, don't kill me, but Godzilla being here just makes the movie worse. Time given to Godzilla takes away time from Kong's story, which as I said feels really rushed. If anything Goji is a fucking asshole, he goes around slaughtering Titans that're just minding their business. What happened to balancing nature? You're going to kill some kaiju peacefully sleeping in the arctic because you want to glow pink now? BTW the power up is completely pointless, he doesn't even seem to do it for any good reason he just felt like a make over I guess.

Kong on the other hand was great, literally just the main character of the movie, he's the one with the most growth and who goes through a character arc. There are some wonderful scenes far away from any humans of just him doing his own thing, having his own adventure. I'm not sure I've ever seen a kaiju movie do that besides, funny enough, the much maligned Son of Godzilla. Kong finds his people, liberates them from a cruel tyrant, and proves himself king of the apes. The scenes of him and Suko bonding are especially strong in my opinion, showing Kong as an ultimately very kind and patient beast with a big heart that he desperately wants to share even with someone who hurt him. By this point, Kong is the most developed kaiju in the series, I love him.

Mothra is in the movie. Yeah, that's about it. Her presence doesn't actually make much sense, the whole "only an Iwi from Skull Island can summon her" meanwhile she just popped out of the ground herself a few years ago to fight Ghidorah. Likewise I was disappointed that she didn't really do anything, she doesn't even have a moment with Godzilla. I thought they were all symbiotically linked and whatnot? Why didn't she join the fight in Rio? Yeah, how about this, cut Godzilla from the movie and have her be the big help at the end. The story spends so much time on summoning her, about as much time as Godzilla goes stomping around, why not have her be the support for the big battle at the end? Also she's straight up magic now, materializing out of thin air, sure. Why not?

Skar King was a fun villain, I can definitely see him becoming a fan favorite. You can kind of tell with the fandom that nobody really cares about the MUTOs or the Mamma Skullcrawler despite being in some of the most beloved Monsterverse films, and that's because they're mostly treated as animals. Ghidorah was the first one really personified and for that he was a wonderful villain that the fandom could latch on to, and Skar King has a lot of moments where his personality shines. Likewise Shimo was great too, a sort of tragic mix of a war mount and a kicked puppy. I'm excited to see how the fandom reacts to her, most of the pre-movie art I've seen makes her out to be this omega asshole but in the film she's arguably nicer that Godzilla.

Yeah, having an hour and a half to calm down, I can say I had a lot of problems with the film. Likewise though, there was also a lot to love. I think I may try to watch it again, on a standard screening next time, to form some more solid thoughts. For now though, I can hope that this movie does well, because even if I'm not the biggest fan I still want to see the Monsterverse continue.

[clutchpowers]

Did you like how Clutch was in Ninjago? If not, what would you change?

You Just opened a fucking can of worms my guy oh my god I cannot stress how much I both love and downright hate what they did to him.

LONG ASS ESSAY UNDER THE READMORE but here’s the TLDR

The love is easy because truthfully there is nothing that says that this clutch is the same as the movie and even if he’s not he’s fine. I like to think he’s one where the movie didn’t happen and he just ran off to ninjago for god knows why but ANYWAY it’s a take on a character that was referenced all the way in S1 and has been out of the public eye for 10 years and just. Appears out of fucking no where. He’s just there and that is the funniest fucking think in the world to me. ALSO THE WAY HE IS JUST A PUNCHING BAG FOR THR WRITERS he’s constantly killed, exploded, thrown around, made a joke etc is so. Goddamn funny to me. They hate him for no reason and it’s so funny. And surprise! That’s also why I hate him!

Maybe I’m reading too much into what they “”wanted to do with him” but I see him as a ronin replacement. Ronins been MIA for 70 years so they want another character to essentially take his place. that might be a stretch but in crystallized Ronin very much takes over while clutch powers is tossed to the side. After it’s revealed that ronin is the one who’s been stealing from the islanders clutch magically just vanishes.(SPOILERS) He doesn’t even have a speaking line AT ALL during crystallized, he isn’t at the monestary helping OR is shown in the crowd when Dareth brings to help. You know who is tho? That fucking sheriff that came out of no where that looks like him. which fine clutch isn’t a major character anyway but neither is that stupid ass sheriff why is he even helping at the monastery IT BAFFLES ME (END SPOILERS)

While I think the way they treat him is funny I also hate it. If crystallized is supposed to be the end think about what they did with him. He was brought into ninjago to barely be used, forgot he was an explorer before they throw in a line that he claims to be one for people complaining (me), and adventure he’s been on he does. Nothing, the only Plot importance he had was stealing the storm gem or whatever it was but it gets taken from him so he looses that, and in crystallized (SPOILERS) I genuinely thought the Zane disguise malfunction was the last time we were going to see him. And even tho it wasn’t I would have laughed out of rage because come on that would have been so fucking funny. He’s also in the resistance camp NOT DOING ANYTHING like not even have him fight with misako and wu over that stupid paper LIKE THEY CANT IMPLY HE WAS THE FIRST ONE TO FIND THAT PLACE WHERE VANIA LIVES, THE SCROLL PLACE IN THE SKY, AND THE FANG BLADE, AND THEN HAVE HIM JUST. NOT DO ANYTHING IN THE SHOW. (END SPOILERS) I swear to god for like 3-4 seasons straight THEY START WITH HIM GETTING “”KILLED”” ITS LIKE come on. Why do you hate him. Why bring him in if you’re just going to throw him around like a rag doll and do nothing??

Don’t even get me started on the wasted potential regardless of whether they wanted this to be the movie version or a new version entirely he does nothing. He is just there. Why even lump him in with the villains that are allowed to be summon by unagami if he can’t even be considered one and that’s another thing too he can’t really be considered anything other than a side character that’s just There. That’s why I wish he was evil, or just playing stupid for the attention, ANYTHING would have been better than him just being tossed aside. for example they say vania is a fan right? Have him exiting the palace while the ninja enter and have her geeking out. Instead of clutch cowardly showing the amulet of protection to asphera SOMETHING THEY NEVER DID ANYTHING WITH BTW have him proclaim that he was trying to get them out of the way so HE could get the treasure. Then in the hospital have the nurses gawking over him while the ninja are in there because even though they all realize that he was just trying to get them killed for treasure, no one believes them because clutch is too well liked by fans who “”know him”” and it allows him to get away with things instead of being a Fucking Coward. Have him trying to keep his image in check, he should be treated as a micro celeb with a STRONG fan base so that something like that could be played out!!! The amulet could have been something, the djin lamp could have been something OTHER than him wishing for a movie haha reference get it. Do you have any idea how funny it would have been if during the fight in the video game instead of having Lloyd v harumi unagami picks clutch and Lloyd downplays him so bad thinking he can’t fight, only to be faced with a clutch powers who’s AI can and will beat the shit out of him? Obviously that takes away from the harumi and Lloyd scene but tbh we didn’t need that!!!!!!!!!

But you know what I did get the clutch powers short with the spiderverse inspired style and a physical official minifig so I will always be a winner!!! I won!!!! I’m his biggest fucking fan and I won!!!!!!!!! I’m not aggressively huffing copium!!!!!!!!!! my evil AU is not copium!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It doesnt matter anyway the entire fanbase fucking hates him people who are fans of the movie hate him everyone hates him 😭😭😭 they are so right to hate him tho I don’t blame the people they do because what the fuck man 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[mouseratz]

list of marvel characters I like from mouse known DC guy:

-70s red sonja (badass with a sword who fights monsters and shit and kills people but girl style. also kinda gay theres also an argument for asexuality either way she's cool)

-venom (he's a gay monster thing. whatever. I understand his hater vibe. I don't really like all his little buddies or like the extra symbiotes I just want fucked up goop guy adventures. you know. btw though I fully believe the other symbiotes hate him because he's gay he's the only gay one that's what happened there. )

list of marvel characters I do not like:

-wolverine (dead brother trauma)

-gambit (dead brother trauma)

-really the whole cartoon xmen cast because of dead brother trauma.

-captain america. he's like if he was just the uncomfortable nationalism & militarization of superman distilled into a guy. AND he's not even cute or silly about it.

-iron man. steel is the same idea but cooler. sorry. why do I care about a billionaire. he's not Batman. I hope he dies and if he's already dead kill him again worse this time.

neutral:

- Deadpool (movies are funny. I don't want to read any comics though because I fear they're very Harley Quinn-esque; they're entertaining movies but I don't find them compelling.)

- spiderman (peter is a loser through and through and when the story adopts this idea I can tolerate him; when it doesn't I want to see him get hit by a car repeatedly. I literally want him to die and it would make me happy to see him miserable I am a hater when it comes to most peters. miles is cool as he is but I'm not the hugest fan of multiverse stuff in general so I'm like. well that lore is just overwhelming and I'm one molecule big so who even care. I don't wanna see all that mess comics wise. I'll still probably see the second movie eventually & I liked his first one but it didn't surprise me.)

I'm interested in you:

-dazzler is so pussy slay camp cunt queen (like that joker post) like I trust and believe in her I know she's technically xmen but I will make an exception because her energy is so immaculate

[madnessatdawn]

I didn't think I would talk about the Mario movie more than the Bros and their Big Boys. But I need to talk about Peach and some criticisms about her character that are a little misplaced. Basically that Peach was too much of a rough girl boss, and she didn't need anyone in the movie.

The first issue is that Peach wasn't sweet enough in the film. I think people overlooked when she was being sweet cause we didn't have as much downtime with Peach. Peach meets with Mario right after she leaves the war room. For her, this is her first time meeting another human being. Finding out that this stranger needs her help finding someone close to him. She accepts the condition that he proves he can handle the journey cause it will be dangerous. Seeing his tenancy and how well he has improved, she lets him come despite him not getting through the course. If that wasn't enough, she lets Toad come along without much objection cause the guy has conviction. Like it's funny cause Peach was prepared to go by herself cause she didn't think any of her subjects would come along with her, not in negative, toads can't do anything. More in the I am the one responsible for my people's safety, and if I have to do that alone, fine. Clearly, she can take care of herself. This brings us to the other point that people have an issue with. Peach didn't need anyone to save the mushroom kingdom. This one is straight-up wrong. Cause I will be clear, Peach can take herself...but that's the issue. She can save herself, just not her kingdom by herself. Cause people to overlook the fact that Peach is competent. Bowser is just as competent and very much so knows the ins and outs of war and conquest. (He legit just didn't factor how much of an issue Mario could be beyond a love rival) Peach and crew travel to the Kong kingdom to get an army. Bowser has a network of spies who learn and use this information to his advantage. The Kongs were likely one of the few groups with more of a chance against him. So he set up an effective ambush which led to the capture of the Kong royal family and their army. So if the wedding had went without a hitch, he could have had the mushroom kingdom and Kong Kingdom in one fell swoop. Not to mention that Bowser, despite being a love-struck fool, very much so, had SEVERAL backup plans in case Peach said no. She does say fuck no to his face when he asks. When she does, he promises to kill Toad without hesitation if she doesn't marry him. Peach gives in cause what can she do at that point. She catches him by surprise with the ice flower after the fact. He is immobilized but can speak, and he tells his troops to basically nuke the mushroom kingdom. Which btw Banzai Bill caught me off guard; for some reason, I didn't think they were alive alive. Peach is great; she still needs help; Mario helps her get into the army, and Mario takes out that Banzai bill. Heeck, without a toad, she wouldn't have gotten the ice flower.

Now I'm not gonna excuse the movie writing and the poor pacing. Cause that is a thing, and I wish we had more time to explore Peahes' other sides (and everyone else's, for that matter give me more Mario and Luigi having brother bonding pls I need this), what we little we got could have been more.

[cody-apexart]

Day 10

So i talked to my therapist and another Vietnamese person at the cultural meet up a couple days ago about the abortion horror movie-- they havn't seen it, but it sounds like its less about the topic of abortion and more about the Vietnamese culture and different religious view points around death, killing things, and karma. interesting ! anyway, I cried in therapy and then bought myself some yanyans and soju on the walk home. so fun to get a lil treat! like i felt good when i left, did some good thought exercises, or visualization therapy, whatever you wanna call it, but as i walked through the privately owned waterfront development that I had watched the sunset in the night before, back across the bridge to my side of the canal I was rly like 'holy shit fuck this world.' In NY i work in the building associated with Domino Park in Williamsburg, part of my salary is funded directly by the developers. This is a job I wouldn't be able to have in my own neighborhood, because if i was taking payment from the developers causing displacement in my own neighborhood, i think a lot of the people i advocate and organize with would stop fucking with me or taking me seriously. I feel pretty bad about it, like why is it okay I work a job in Williamsburg, where i dont live, that I would never work in my hometown of Flushing? That is to say that making me go to therapy in the private waterfront mega development is like a cruel joke. like, the first thing i clocked when I came here was these six huge towers on the other side of the canal, and now u send me to cry about my feelings there?? maybe i'm a little too sensitive to the impacts of luxury waterfront development, because as you may be able to tell, advocacy around displacement and waterfront development actually consumes all my free time. also btw, the therapist confirmed the waterfront access is privately owned, as I assumed. Every time i cross over the canal it takes all my energy to not climb down this ladder under the bridge. I need to keep reminding myself i am a stranger in a strange land and should probs not trespass. but if i were in my own neighborhood, i wouldn't think twice.

the motorbike food tour tonight was fun. in my art practice i give a lot of tours, but always forget i'm a tour guide, until i tell someone about what I do and they're like "so you're a tour guide?" Me and my student tour guide vibed about the pains of touring people around. it was a fun experience, and funny to see how him and his other tour guide co-workers kinda just circle around each other with diff tourists throughout the evening-- all the tours start at the same time and go to the same places. he said they go to the same places every night, he's been eating the same food with tourist 3-4 times a week every week for 3 months since hes had this job. if i were a local i would probably find this method of touring incredibly annoying. He took me to the Thích Quảng Đức statue commemorating the monk that burned alive in the street advocating for religious freedom. He noted that the photos of the event that were distributed globally in the 1960's edit out the gas canister because it makes it look more profound and like he acted alone. You can see the bad 1960's photoshop blur in the left side of the image under the car tier. super interesting note on propaganda. Im glad I didn't come here without a guide, i would not have known that. I asked if this act of protest was effective, and if it worked to get what the Buddhist community wanted-- he said it got global eyes on the issue due to the distribution of the images. I mentioned to him that an american guy burned himself alive on the supreme court steps because of climate change last year, he was very surprised that there was basically no media coverage of that and he had not heard about it.

The tour groups kept circling around one another when we arrived at a public housing complex. we were basically walking through the projects taking photos, like honestly not a nice thing to be making a spectacle out of the people living in public housing projects. all these tour groups climbed 2-3 flights of stairs and walk around these peoples front doors, it happens every night. super obnoxious tbh. perhaps regrettably, I couldn't help but snap some pics, the lanterns were still up from the tet holiday, and the lighting was just right. These types of developments are what the book im reading is about, titled "building socialism: the afterlife of east german architecture in urban vietnam". I shared a photo of the cover before, these buildings look almost identical.

He pointed out the water tower and then we left.

[timecryptid]

The next Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie!

And I got the actual right movie first try this time.

I don’t think I’ve seen this one before.

Never mind I got the wrong movie. But because I can’t read and picked the third one instead. Whoops. Though I still don’t think I’ve seen this one.

What is with teenage boys in movies/tv who have secret handshakes? It’s stupid.

The multiple magic wands is funny. Let’s hope Greg is better in this one.

Is the other boys making fun of Greg for his speedo supposed to be a play on them making fun of his dick size?

I remeber Holly from the books. Also love the magic song going on in the background.

The fact that Holly doesn’t have a voice in Greg’s daydream is perfect for the way that he doesn’t care about how she is as a person he just cares about her looks.

Love the idea of Rodrick being a dick to Greg and ruining his chance with Holly. Making him more nervous. Beautiful.

Susan is just as much of a milf in this one.

Rodrick set Greg up with the slow song idea and then rips the bandaid off and ruins it taking over before Greg can even ask Holly go dance.

You can tell that Rodrick didn’t plan for Susan to come up to the board but he loves it. He’s definatly thinking to himself, “Oh my god Susan you are doing better then I ever could. Thank you for embarrassing him more then his brother ever could.”

I do remember Mom Bucks. I probably read this book. But I don’t think I watched this movie.

Still love Patty

You can tell this teacher had Rodrick. I’ve never experienced that before. And never will. My youngest sister however. She might. With at least one older sister.

I might have watched this one. I think I remember the talent show stuff.

Are you kidding? The person helping a magician is usually a very hot and scantily clad women.

The rich parents adopting Greg thing? Greg would have loved Wattpad.

Rodrick really does look like the type to be bad at driving.

Come on Greg at least pretend to like the toy from the child. You can ditch it later. Also going viral thing is so jnterestjng. It’s so much easier now. And Kesha my queen in this movie? So they cut out her getting drunk off her ass at clubs but leave in her getting tipsy.

Sometimes you should lie Greg.

Holy shit they actually go to church.

Rodrick is so funny for pranking him like that. I love Rodrick. He’s such an asshole.

They are definatly Catholic. Also Rodrick should not be allowed to take Communion.

Rodrick would never have people over Frank. You said no. Why would he ever? Clearly Rodrick is liked enough if that many people find out. Once again Rodrick is a king for this shit. What an asshole locking his brother in the basement.

Child no know how to work old phone

They were definatly drinking at that party btw. Like beer drinking.

I do love when the rough and asshole guy is scared of his mom.

Greg you have at least another day with Rodrick. Don’t fuck it up. He will kill your before your mom gets back. I don’t think he cares about jail.

If this weren’t a kids movie Rodrick would go into detail about all of the murder he would fucking do if anyone finds out.

You really can’t call if you’re dead.

These boys are totally drunk. I also love that both Greg and Rodrick were embarrassed by Rowley. And can I say that I love how I don’t think they’ve made a Rowley is fat joke except in terms of the chicks dig him.

I see why Greg is such a piece of shit. It’s his brother.

Rowley can’t lie for the life of him are you kidding.

Bill is hot in a weird man down on his luck type of way.

Kids movies horror is so odd. Because at The Foot would be a very popular bad movie and I know it. Cheesy and weird and everyone loves a horror movie with a weird scary thing. Like the sofa one.

I love Susan.

Ohhhh Greg. Guilting your mom to not punish either you or your brother for the party.

Love Rodricks rules. They’re pretty good.

The teacher is bound to know that it’s Rodricks paper. I have a feeling that it’s obvious. Also he clearly doesn’t like Rodrick.

I knew it was just something already plagiarized.

All I’m saying is that I can see Greg and Patty getting together when they’re older.

That note is defiantly not from Holly.

That was stupid.

This scene of Rodrick and Greg going to the gas station to eat and everything is kind of gay.

Is this the what are you doing in this picture Rodrick scene? It totally is.

The fact that you have their parents fighting and the brothers fighting. The fact that Susan and Greg are reflected as the same and Rodrick and Frank are. Beautiful.

Yet another weird break up scene that’s not technically a break up scene. But this time it’s the brothers. These movies are so gay! Stop trying to pretend you’re not at least bi Greg.

The genuine emotion in Rodricks voice at not being allowed to perform in the talent show. I feel so bad for him. The fact that they feel like a couple who doesn’t have a good relationship but pretends they do.

I’ve never had the kind of relationship with my sisters where you put hair remover in her shampoo. If my sister did that I would literally kill her in her sleep.

I love Rodrick being nice to Greg but also him being terrible to Greg. Both are great.

If it was my crush seeing me in my underwear or my diary being read to her I would prefer the journal. And the song being played at this point is so good.

Babe Rodrick is definatly sneaking off to be in the talent show and you know it.

Go off Patty!!

I mean Patty’s good Rodrick but not that good.

Their parents are so oblivious for not noticing that they both left. Where’s Susan?

Greg trying to make sure his brother gets to play with his band is so cute. Also I don’t know if Rodrick would do the same.

The assistant outfit isn’t even like slutty or anything. Just stupid.

Is Rowley going to piss himself?

Oh that poor bird. Oh never mind it’s fine.

I think you can tell how the trick works Rowley. Especially when it falls apart.

Love a supportive mom.

Loded Diaper is kind of good.

I hope Bill shows up in later movies. He’s so ficking hot and funny.

Why are the break up and make scenes in these movies so homoerotic? What is it about straight male relationships?

Pretty good movie. I can’t tell you if I liked this one or the last one more though. I need to find somewhere I can re read these books. Might have to buy them which feels embarrassing. But for Rodrick? I’d do it. Though looking them up reminded me about Dork Diaries which I kind of want to re read. I read at least the first one of those.