#(and why does everything in there have to taste so good)

[demaparbat-hp]

Hiya!! 👋🏼😄 How's it going? Your fashion taste for Zuko in a Modern AU seems to be artsy, or maybe "formal" is the word. That shirt he wore when he gave Sokka romantic song advice looked Versace🧐. Anyway, I was wondering how you came up with it, he always struck me more as the type that didn´t care much about fashion, so I'm curious about other´s opinions and heacanons about it. And do you have any other fashion headcanons for the rest of the GAang? Also, their music tastes. How did you come up with them? Especially Katara's! 😍

Hello! As it happens, I have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings™ about this, so I'm leaving these over here, and the rest of my ramblings down below the cut!

Let us begin with the Gaang, shall we?

SUKI always struck me as that Pretty Girl from the Gym. She is so incredibly fit it isn't even funny. She could kick anyone's ass, and we'd all thank her. She has this casual gym style that somehow always looks glorious on her, as it should! Comfy yet fashionable clothes for a nice workout or a day in town.

Her music tastes are basically any and all power songs from the eighties and nineties. (Eye of the Tiger, anyone?) She also enjoys metal via Toph, and bands like BSB, NSYNC, or Boyz II Men with Katara. My girl has a very eclectic Playlist and we all love her for it.

SOKKA is That Guy™. Loose T-shirts and shorts everywhere he goes, no matter the weather. He's stupidly into fashion but it doesn't show! At all! And everyone teases him about it. His closet is about 90% Cactus Juice merchandise, hence the "it's the quenchiest!" shirt.

His fashion and music tastes are pretty much the same. He loves poetry but isn't really into lyrics. He'll misinterpret just about anything you place in front of him. His Playlist is mostly vibes and tiktok songs he kind of enjoys. He isn't really into music...at least not as much as his sister.

AANG owns exactly one hoodie, one pair of shorts, and one beanie (THE beanie). Oh, and the crocs—don't forget the crocs. Somehow, he's always wearing the exact same outfit. Every. Single. Day. Ancient Gaang lore suggests that the day Aang goes out without his beanie, it's the end of the world.

His Playlist is the poppiest, most bizarre thing ever. Every single song is Happy by Pharrell Williams levels of happy. Yet sometimes, among the bouncy dance-to songs, you'll find the strangest of things... (He does know what Good Day by Twenty One Pilots is about. That's the reason he likes it so much, actually. And it's so weird.)

KATARA is all about sundresses and loose pants. The epitome of comfortable loveliness. Light fabrics in blue shades, careful embroidery, delicate shoes, and little to no accessories—hers is a simple, yet quite adorable, style. She just needs to add more colors to her usual palette...

She is, first and foremost, a Florence + The Machine girl. It's the Dark Goddess of the Sea vibes, to be honest. Florence Welch is her idol and yes, she will fight you about lyrics interpretation, and win. It may not seem like it, but her music tastes are also very varied.

She draws a little from each member of the Gaang, so you'll hear her humming along to Gorillaz (where did you even find out about them, Aang?), The Weeknd (I...don't think this song means what you think it means, Sokka...), and Hozier (Zuko why did you dedicate Talk to me, Zuko WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT).

TOPH...ah, lovely girl. I'll summarise everything about Toph’s fashion sense in two words: comfort and rebellion. Stuffy dresses forced on her by billionaire parents? No thank you! Give her tank tops with loose shirts and short pants. Bandaids shared with Aang, bracelets from Katara, and even piercings she got in tandem with Sokka. Shoes? What even is that?

Something I love about this fandom is our collective agreement that Toph is into the dirtiest, heaviest, most ear-splitting and soul-crushing death metal of all times. Her Playlist is full of the most obscure names to ever exist, and she can and will blast through your walls with the sheer volume of her speaker.

Zuko. ZUKO.

Even in a modern AU my boy must suffer. That being said, I envision Tales from the Couch as—well, exactly what it is: an ATLA modern AU. While there is not a war to fight, and a lot of plot lines are discarded or expanded upon, much about the core story remains the same.

This is my way of saying that Zuko still goes trough his redemption arc, and it reflects on his fashion choices.

The way you described it works perfectly because of one single reason: in this AU, Zuko is an artist. He had to suppress his love for writing and drawing because of his background and the expectations Ozai had for him (taking over the family company), and a very large part of his redemption arc directly affects his relationship with art.

In the Couch equivalent of S1, Zuko has fallen out of Ozai's graces, and is desperate to protect his place in the company and the Kasai household. He's pretending to be someone he isn't and trying to live up to his Father's image of a perfect heir while still being somewhat cut-off financially, and it shows.

He's all about imposing long coats and a semi-formal style, imitating what he knows Azula and Father would respect. He's striking and sharp and dark. But no matter how he dresses or carries himself (that air of cold superiority and arrogance)—it won't help him when he needs it the most.

In S2, Zuko has hit his lowest point. He's officially disinherited and tossed away by his father, and would be out in the streets if it wasn't for Uncle Iroh. He goes from sharp, high-tailored outfits to old second-hand clothes that hang loosely on his frame. He starts smoking and cuts his hair off, forgoing the undercut for the first time in years.

But then...Father accepts him back. When Zuko returns home, it's with respect to his name and a very high position in his father's company. He's finally the perfect Kasai heir, dressed in overly expensive suits and finery, even at home... But Father forbids him from wearing Lu Ten's earring, and Zuko can no longer recognize himself without the familiar glint of gold dancing on his peripheral vision.

When Zuko leaves the Kasai name behind him and goes back to living with Uncle Iroh...he's finally at peace with who he is, and what he wants in this life. The sharp edges aren't gone (they'll always be a part of him, after all), but now they're dulled by looser clothes and softer hairstyles.

He's an artist, and for once in his life, he is determined to pursue his own ambitions. Zuko's outfits may not be designer-made anymore, but he takes what he has and makes himself look like he wants to look, like the person he wants to be.

He doesn't read fashion magazines or keeps up to the latest trends like Azula does. He's just...Zuko. And his newfound confidence makes everything he wears look like it belongs on him.

As for music...well, Ursa raised a literature boy.

He loves lyric-heavy music and natural voices, be they soothing or powerful. Dissecting song meanings and possible interpretations with Katara is one of his favorite parts of the day. They're both very passionate and strong-minded individuals, so it stands to reason that their debates can get quite...heated.

Zuko's Playlist is both incredibly eclectic and somehow very...him. There's a common thread that binds together every song and artist he likes, and he's hilariously unaware of this. To take a look into his Playlist is a higher honor reserved only for those closest to him.

In the wide spectrum of things, it is no wonder that Zuko is, first and foremost, a Hozier man. But though Andrew is his God in all aspects of this life, there's someone else that has had a huge impact on him...

Two someones, actually.

Zuko refuses to tell anyone how he got into Twenty One Pilots, but it's kind of a moot point when the beginning of his obsession is nothing compared to everything that came after. They have just about the right amount of everything that makes Zuko...well, Zuko. The poetic lyrics, the soothing or raging music, the heavy, intensely resonant themes...

Up there, in the second artwork, I placed an album cover behind each period of Zuko's life. The election of these records is intentional, as I feel like their general themes work incredibly well with Zuko's arc and growth.

Blurryface in S1. For the demons within us. For giving a name to our fears and shame.

Trench in S2. For escaping the confined walls of a depression city, and fighting to understand the depths of the map of your mind.

Scaled and Icy in the first half of S3. For returning to places you had left behind. For convincing yourself and everyone around you that you're fine, that you're perfect, even though everything is crumbling inside...

Clancy in S3. For recognizing that you can backslide, that you can have fears and shame and pain—but you're shaping yourself with each step you take. For knowing that seeking help from others is okay. Nobody learns to walk on their own.

(And, in the end, you'll always be better than the person you were yesterday. If only because you're still here. You're still alive. You're still yourself.)

.

Overall, I rambled a bit too much, don't you think?

If you made it all the way down here—thank you so much for reaching out and being interested in this crazy AU! I hope you enjoy these ideas and tell me some of your own ❤️

[puckinghischier]

Dogtooth

jack hughes x fem!reader

WARNING - SMUT!!! minors, DNI. 18+. oral!female receiving, face riding

summary: just a lil jack thot inspired by the song dogtooth by tyler, the creator

notes: this is just a repost of the little jack blurb i posted last night, i just wanted to reformat it so it’d fit in my masterlist better. but!! this is probably my favorite jack thing i’ve ever written and i’m obsessed with this song so, hope you enjoy!! 🫶🏼🫶🏼

[2.3k]

dogtooth by tyler, the creator?? that song is soooooo jack coded.

it’s the right kind of cocky but also the perfect amount of loving his woman, which is exactly how i picture jack to be in a relationship.

he’s a pretty private guy, not enjoying being in the media too much and revealing a ton about his personal life. he hates media because he doesn’t like the feeling of people assuming they know everything about him. but his girl? she knows everything about this man and he basks in the fact she knows him better than anyone else.

and when he’s down for someone? oh he’s down baddddd. i mean, pining level shit. he always wants to be around her. always calling her. always texting her. he just wants her attention 24/7, no matter what he has to do to get it.

he loves to pleasure his girl. and that’s it, really. he loves any second he can spend making her feel good, any way she wants. he doesn’t even care about the reciprocation (though he does love when she returns the favor) because knowing he’s the one to satisfy her needs is enough to put him on cloud nine all by itself.

and the second jack hears this song for the first time? oh he’s got big plans for it. (and you)

you’d be sitting on the couch, waiting on jack to get home from a mid-day skate. he sent you a text telling you he was leaving the rink around thirty minutes ago, expecting him to walk through the door any second.

no sooner than the thought entered your mind, you heard the lock click, signaling his arrival. calling out a greeting, you’re met with silence. you turn your body to see why he’s ignoring you, noticing the small white ear buds stuck in each ear.

he sets his bag down at the door, no doubt filled with his sweat soiled clothes he wants you to wash. waiting on him to look up and acknowledge you, you lay your head on the plush cushions resting against the back of the couch. you watch him, never missing an opportunity to admire how pretty he is.

finally, he looks up and meets your gaze, smiling at your love-filled eyes. he pops one headphone out while walking towards you, rolling it around in his hand.

“hey, sweets,” he leans down to place a small kiss on your waiting lips.

you savor the taste of his lips, always loving their soft feel.

“tried to say hi when you walked in, but guess you couldn’t hear me,” you gesture to the one earbud still lodged in one of his ears.

he gives you a small, apologetic look. “sorry, found a new song i really like. think you will too, actually. made me think about you.”

grabbing his phone from his pocket with his free hand, the one that’s holding the small bluetooth device brushes your hair away from your own ear, comfortably resting the earbud there.

“here’s the thing though….i want you to ride my face while we listen,” he just casually tells you, not even looking up at your face, still fiddling with his phone.

you perk up, surprised at his casualness. “i- what?”

“you heard me, before i press play i want you to ride my face.”

said face in question is dead serious, not an ounce of mischief to be found.

“you…literally just walked through the front door. what happened to asking each other about our days? or discussing what we’re gonna eat for dinner?” you ask him, not knowing how to react to the sudden proposal.

he rolls his eyes playfully. “is this your way of telling me you don’t want to? because you don’t have to. just think it’d really add to the experience, s’all” he shrugs.

you still don’t know how to react to the pure casualness of it all. by the way he’s acting you’d think he’s suggesting watching a movie, not having you ride his face in the middle of the living room.

“i didn’t say i didn’t want to. it’s just a little wild for that to be one of the first things out of your mouth when you get home.”

jack snickers at your words, walking around the large sectional to occupy the spot next to you.

“not really. not for me, at least. been thinking about it all day,” he plops down beside of you, making himself comfortable.

his words shoot excitement down to your core. he’s been thinking about it all day?

before you can think of a response, you feel shuffling next to you on the plush couch. you look over to see jack laying flat on his back, head only slightly raised to look over at you expectantly.

“so, you gonna get rid of those shorts or what?” he asks, referencing your thin, cotton pajama bottoms.

“i swear to god, if i wasn’t turned on right now i’d slap you,” you grumble, standing and removing all clothing below your waist.

jack laughs a real, out loud, laugh this time, prideful in the fact that you’ve never really been able to (or wanted to) resist any of his offers.

he burrows his body further into the couch, making sure he’s in the middle of the large surface, ensuring there’s room for your knees to rest on either side of his head.

you climb to hover over his body, looking down at his hungry eyes that are glued to your bare pussy, following every movement of your body from that landmark.

“shirt off or on?” you ask him, sitting on his toned abdomen.

“off. wanna be able to play with your boobs, please,” he flicks his eyes up to your face, an innocent smile on his own as he bats his eyelashes.

“of course you do,” you remove your (his) t-shirt from your body, now completely bare as you sit on top of him.

“swear they get bigger every time i see them,” he says in awe, bringing a hand up to massage one of your full breasts. you moan as he kneads the flesh, stomach turning flips in anticipation of what’s about to take place.

“gonna press play so we can get started or you just gonna play with my tits all night?” you huff out, loving the feeling but growing needier by the second.

it takes jack a second to register what you’re saying, too lost in the feeling of the heavy skin in his hand.

“oh! yeah, almost forgot,” he reaches up to the back of the couch where he left his phone, picking it up long enough to press play.

you scoot yourself farther up his body, resting your eager core right above his chin. all you’d have to do is relax your thighs the slightest amount to make contact with his mouth. 

suddenly you hear a smooth beat ring out in one ear, assuming jack’s hearing the same.

the second you hear the lyrics “she could ride my face i don’t want nothing in return” pour out of the earbud, jack inched his face up, licking a long, deep stripe through your folds.

you allow yourself to relax, sliding your slick pussy back and forth gently, not wanting to rush.

jack’s nose brushes your clit with every movement. you sigh at the feeling, not realizing how much you needed the friction until now.

the melody in your ear continues, but none of the lyrics are registering anymore. the feeling of jack’s tongue working through you takes every ounce of your attention.

“god, fuck! jack, best idea ever,” you moan out, picking up your pace slightly.

jack groans, letting his tongue still for a moment, allowing you to work yourself over it as you please.

fighting through the bliss radiating throughout your body, you try to focus on the lyrics at least a little bit. the chorus starts repeating, but the lyrics that follow make your head fuzzy in the best way.

“she could ride my face i don’t want nothin’ in return, except for some her time and all her love, that’s my concern” is what you focus on, the words squeezing your heart and your cunt.

jack smirks into your pussy when he hears you moan, knowing exactly which lyrics elicited the reaction from your body. you’ve always been the type to get off on the sweet nothings he whispers in your ear while he fucks into you, so he knew that line in particular would be especially helpful while his mouth is otherwise occupied.

your pace increases again as the song continues on, already halfway to your release.

jack brings his hands up to hold you still, your hole mere centimeters from his waiting tongue. he guides you to lower yourself onto the muscle, encouraging a slight bobbing motion of your body.

with every depression of your cunt onto his tongue, your clit bumps onto the tip of his nose. the pressure is a delicious form of teasing, the sensation gone nearly as soon as it’s felt each time.

“please, touch me. need you to touch me, jack. so so close,” you pant out, feeling the familiar swirl of your climax forming already.

jack grunts in response, the vibrations sending waves all throughout your body and you’re convinced you can feel it in your toes.

his hands leave your hips, traveling up your body until they find your sensitive buds, pinching and playing with each pink, taut nipple.

you jolt a bit, the motion causing your clit to slam against his nose this time. you cry out at all of the various sensations all at once. full with his tongue, rough hands on your tits, and round nose scraping against your clit.

the pure stimulation of it all forces your orgasm out of you, slamming into your body with the force of a train.

“fuck!” you scream, quickly shooting a hand out to grip the back of the couch, trying to stop yourself from collapsing on jack’s face completely.

you can barely hear the words “she can ride my face i don’t want nothin’ in return, and will i ever fall in love again? i can’t confirm,” ring through your ear, the soundtrack to your release, literally.

jack continues to work his tongue in and out of your hole while you shake and convulse above him, having to chase your entrance as you move. he continues to knead your sensitive breasts, each squeeze sending small volts through your already spent nerves.

he can feel your release dripping onto his cheeks, chin, and nose. he tries to lap up as much as he can, not wanting to miss a drop of your liquid pleasure.

your taste alone was enough to form the wet spot on his grey sweats, not embarrassed in the slightest he’s literally leaking from how turned on he is. but when he looks up at you above him, skin damp and eyes half rolled into the back of your head, mixed with the feeling of your body tightening around his tongue so harshly he can’t even pull it out, he blows his load right then and there.

he can feel the last flutters of your walls around his tongue, not stopping his movements until you pull back, having half a mind to keep going and work another orgasm out of your sensitive state. he moans through his own unprompted release, the only thing keeping him from following his sudden impulse to overstimulate you.

once the tired muscles in your thighs stop shaking, and your breath evens out, you can hear the fading of the music in your ear, signaling the end of the song. you push up slightly on your knees, detaching yourself from jack’s mouth as he chases your now swollen cunt, a small whine escaping him at the action.

“jack…the song’s over,” you manage the words somehow, in awe that he made you come in only a single song’s length.

“i can hit replay,” he rushes out, already reaching to grab his phone again.

you squeak out a slightly panicked “no,” while shaking your head, worried if he started again you might actually explode. you let yourself relax fully, scooting back so you can rest yourself on his lower abdomen once again, but the feeling of something wet stops you.

jerking back up, you turn and look down, spotting the large, wet stain on his sweatpants. you can���t stop staring at it, wondering if you’re really looking at what you think you’re looking at.

“jack…did you…” you trail off, turning back around to look at him.

he smirks as he leans himself up on his elbows. “sure did, sweets. you have no clue how much i enjoyed that.”

you laugh at his pride filled face. “pretty sure i do, seeing as i just sat on the evidence.”

he simply shrugs, patting your bare ass lightly to signal you to stand. you swing your legs over his body, standing and bending over to pick up your discarded underwear and slide it back up your legs.

“so….about that dinner conversation,” you ask him as he stands, suddenly way hungrier than you were when he first got home.

it’s his turn to laugh at you, walking over and removing the now silent earbud from your ear.

“whatever you want is fine with me. i already ate,” he gives you a kiss on the forehead then turns to walk towards the bedroom.

“oh…not even right, you dick,” you huff, following it with telling him you’re ordering his least favorite take out, a punishment for his sass.

making your way to the kitchen to dig through the different take out menus, you hear jack shout your name once again.

“i was thinking, how do you feel about that being our wedding song?” he asks, poking his now shirtless, but clean sweats clad, figure out of the bedroom door.

“jack!” you shout, scolding him as his loud cackle rings out around you, causing your own amused smile to break out on your face.

[kingofthecotas]

perfect disaster (ever after) | ao3

soulmate au, 2024 | ~4.5k (explicit)

this is long (valentino has a lot of self-reckoning to get through) so feel free to read it on ao3 if you prefer!

finally done! thank you to everyone who's read this series ily mwah

----

Valentino goes to Jerez. 

Uccio rolls his eyes when he informs him, says, “I’ll be in the garage that weekend. I’ll bring the motorhome.” 

“Sure. Whatever.”

Valentino reaches out and flicks the crease of Uccio’s elbow, where his mark is, and his friend softens like he always does. “Cheer up.”

“Why Jerez?”

“No reason.”

“Not because of Márquez, then?”

Valentino scowls. Marc has been riding well, yes, getting to grips with the Ducati, losing the front too often, but Valentino has a team, he has Bez and Diggia to look after, and Marc—

He hasn’t seen Marc for months. 

“You need to decide what you want with this.” Now it’s Uccio’s turn to prod at Valentino’s mark, to send a comforting warmth up his arm. “It has been over for, what, nine years?”

“Well…” 

Uccio stares at him. Blinks. “Actually, I don’t want to talk about him.”

“Good choice,” Valentino says brightly. 

——

Jerez, Spain

His bravado evaporates once he’s in the paddock. 

Jerez is—he still hates it, just a little. He’d been sat in the garage, stewing about his stupid engine or gearbox or whatever, and then Marc had been cartwheeling through the gravel trap. 

He hadn’t called. Not until Mandalika, two years later. 

And he—

That had cracked the careful wall; he’d shown Marc his bloody viscera, held it out tacky and red in his hands. And Marc—Marc had let him. Marc had answered the phone. Marc had kept answering the phone, until Valencia. 

Part of Valentino wants to say fuck him. Another part sneers that it’s been this long, what’s the difference? If he’s feeling any kind of pull, it’s surely only the rotted dregs of what they had, the marks they both carry. Marc is Marc; there’s a reason they fell apart in the first place. 

Marc is Marc, but he is not the same: not twenty and wide-eyed; not watching Valentino’s every move, logging every reaction like he can’t believe it’s happening to him. He’s changed, Jerez and Sepang and Valentino calcifying everything about him. It hurts more now, now that he’s had a taste of how they used to be, how good they were. How Marc could brush a hand over the mark, the soul-piece, and Valentino would grab his face and kiss him. Helpless. Choiceless. 

He shouldn’t have gone in Valencia. He shouldn’t, because Marc had been upset—he’d been crying, however much he tried to hide it, red eyes, red nose—and Marc doesn’t fucking think sometimes. Just—reaches out. Races towards the gravel because he might not crash, he might win. Pushes his bike until he falls. Reaches for Valentino even when it hurts. 

Hurts so much, apparently, that he’s finally pulled back. Stopped reaching. Closed his eyes, turned his face away. Valentino—well, he’s tried not to let it sting. 

None of it matters when he spots Marc on the Friday, walking in step with his brother, and reaches a hand out with a smile before he can stop himself. “Marc—”

Marc rears away like he thinks Valentino’s touch will burn him. 

Like he remembers how his own pinched expression smoothed out, curled up in the bed in his motorhome, when Valentino touched his mark. Like he hates himself for it. 

(Because he’d been awake. Valentino is sure he’d been awake.) 

(Valentino had said his name. Marc had pretended to be asleep.) 

Álex says, “No,” and pushes between them, head tilted in a challenge.

Fucking—Christ.

“Good to see you,” Valentino forces out, and stalks away. 

——

“You’re riding well,” he tells Marc over the phone, instead of sitting down with Bez and saying talk to me, tell me what is wrong, the bike, the tyres, what is it? 

Instead of opening his motorhome door and walking a few hundred metres. 

Stony silence. Then, “What do you want?”

“I want to talk to you—”

“No.” Marc sounds tired in a way that sits in Valentino’s chest. “Why—why are you doing this, Vale? It was easier—” He cuts off. “At least when I knew you didn’t want me—that was easier.” 

“Marc.” It’s like—a tooth hitting something hard, cracking, sharp cold pain, part of himself splintered away and falling to the ground. 

“Fuck, Valentino, stop. Just—stop.”

Helpless, he does.

“I’m not—I won’t—you made it clear, no? This—you wanted this. So I do not understand why—I don’t know what you want. I don’t know why, and it’s—not fair.” 

That hurts worse, somehow. 

“Valentino?”

“Yeah?” 

“Why?” Marc whispers.

And—what can Valentino say to that? Does he say that he still wakes up in the middle of the night in blind breathless panic, scrabbling for the part of Marc branded into his skin, begging for it to still be there? Does he tell him that the familiar bruise, the heavy numbness, is nothing compared to that half-second where the mark—his mark—had flaked away like ash and it had hurt deeper than he could ever comprehend? That it had been worse than he could have possibly imagined, that it proved every fear he’d ever had, that he—?

That Marc had been gone. That he will never change. That Valentino loves him anyway. 

Not because the universe told him to. Because he’s Marc. 

Valentino can’t say that. He can’t. 

Marc makes a noise that might be a laugh. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Marc—”

The line beeps. 

——

He watches Marc on the podium, watches him smile and cheer and play to the crowd, alive and utterly beautiful.

He looks away before anyone catches him staring. 

——

When he wakes up that night, gasping, the memory of it behind his eyes, the emptiness, the ash-smudge where Marc should be, he reaches for his phone. Stops. 

He remembers Argentina sometimes, remembers how the wet grass hadn’t hurt but the anger had, clawing out of his throat, and his arm had burned where Marc had clattered into him. 

He remembers how Marc stood on the side of the track in Sepang, too long, clutching his arm—and Valentino had thought it wasn’t that hard, it wasn’t even on purpose—

And now he thinks of Marc slapping a hand over his soulmark in Misano, of the way Marc had pulled away from him like a reflex three days ago. He thinks of the bone-deep bruise after Argentina—he’d felt it for days, and even in his anger had thought he didn’t hit me that hard—

He swallows. Exhales. Finds Marc, traces the shape of him. It throbs, that old bruise, like a half-healed injury. Does it hurt the same for Marc? he wonders absently, and swallows again.

In Valencia, had he—had it hurt? No, surely not, because Marc’s face that night—and the morning after, nothing but content. He hasn’t fucked it. Maybe. 

Maybe he has. 

He doesn’t call. 

——

Marc crashes. Again. Again. Again.

Assen, that’s a big one, and Valentino has to steady himself when the anger rears its head, ugly and familiar. Marc used to piss him off so much—still can, apparently. Selfish bastard, he thinks, and there it is, that’s what he hated from the first moment. No warning, no choice, just a twist of the cosmos and a soulmark that could vanish as quickly as it appeared, a soulmate that didn’t care. 

He’s lived that now, that nightmare, even if just for a heartbeat, and he’d spent long enough without being angry to truly recognise it when it returns. 

Fear. 

——

They were always meant to fall together, and that’s what made Valentino sick to his stomach. 

Because it should have been his choice. It would have been.

I wanted to choose you. I would have, anyway. 

It was so perfect, so fucking perfect, because of course it would have been. Of course. And he kept scratching and prodding and hurting, trying to prove something, and Marc always came back, because Marc believed in it. Until Valentino pushed too far. 

And he’s Marc, and he’s an idiot, and he never understood what it meant to carry a piece of Valentino’s soul in him, and he never understood what it meant every time he lost the bike, and he never understood that it meant forever.

Valentino—maybe he never understood that Marc is Marc, and he loves fiercely and he races hard and he wanted him. Marc loved him.

Not anymore, maybe. 

Anything. Anything Marc will give him now, he’ll lap it up like a starving dog. Anything is better than nothing. Anything is better than ash. 

——

Misano Adriatico, Italy

Valentino is chilled to the bone by the time the team finishes their post-mortem: fine rain that seeps through even his waterproof coat, sits in his hair. Bez shakes his head like a wet dog as he leaves. 

Franky must be annoyed at himself—he had the pace, and he wouldn’t have made the mistake of pulling into the pitlane. Pecco must be relieved. They’re expecting the ranch now: Misano, Valentino, food, friends, not-so-gentle ribbing, a race dissection. Valentino should send them off, tell them I’ll be right behind you, call ahead to make sure food is ready when they get there. 

But—

Marc. Marc, practically vibrating with the thrill of it. As if Aragón hadn’t been enough, golden under the sun, he’d rolled in heavy as the clouds. Inevitable. 

Valentino can’t—he can’t stop thinking about it, how Marc had been, objectively speaking, stupid, riding reckless, nothing to lose: everything that used to turn sour in his mouth when he pinned Marc against hotel walls and demanded he understand what it would mean to lose him. He can’t stop thinking how it had been beautiful. Marc had been beautiful.

In the end, he sends the boys off to Tavullia, sends Uccio to play referee. He might join them later.

For now, he lets his feet take him, a step at a time, past his own motorhome and towards Marc’s. It won’t be long, surely; it’s late already, and they have to clear the paddock before tomorrow. So he waits, rain clinging in his hair, in his clothes, until he shivers: sticky-cold, unpleasant. He waits. 

Marc is mercifully alone when he appears, huddled in his coat, and stops when he finds Valentino at the top of the metal steps. His eyes narrow, none of the thrumming electricity from before remaining. Maybe he’s thinking of the last time Valentino came to his motorhome. 

A second later—an awful awful second—Marc silently opens the door and lets Valentino follow him through, a miracle in itself. It’s stifling, though, as Marc puts his cap on the kitchen worktop, kicks off his shoes, and tilts his head at Valentino to tell him where he can stand, on the other side of the countertop. Barrier between them. Valentino does as he’s directed, rests on his elbows, tension heavy like a storm in the air.

One look tells him this is it. He has no more chances.

“Well done,” Valentino whispers, and the way Marc shrinks away from him now, retreats even further than before Valencia—it aches. 

“Thank you.”

“Can I—?”

“You probably will anyway.”

“Marc.” 

“Valentino.”

They teeter there for a long moment, cliff edge. Marc is forgiving, yes, but even he had limits; Valentino doesn’t know if he wants to find them. “You cannot say you don’t know what I want when you are being like this.”

The scowl that crosses Marc’s face is so petulant it could be funny. “Like what?” 

“Like—we were—I thought we were getting better.” 

“Better?”

Valentino decides to push. “It was good, no? In Valencia?”

Marc almost chokes; he’s angry, Valentino realises too late. “Valencia—?”

“Not for you then.” And he’s done it, found the edge and sent them tumbling from the sky.

Not for the first time.

“You left,” Marc snarls, face white, fists clenched. “That morning, you just—”

“You were pretending to be asleep!” 

Marc stops. “I—”

“Like you didn’t want to—” Valentino waves a hand. “So yes, I left. You ignored me.”

Marc gapes. 

“You died, also,” Valentino says. May as well, if they’re doing this. They’re going to hit the ground hard anyway. “You were gone, and it hurt. And—I will do anything to never feel that again. Selfish, yes. I don’t care. I always knew—you were going to hurt me.”

“Fuck you—”

“Please listen.” It’s a grace he doesn’t deserve that Marc does, that he waits. Maybe he wants to see the shape of Valentino’s insides one last time, wants them laid out bloody and exposed here in his motorhome kitchen. “That is what I—it hurt more than I could have imagined. And I imagined it a lot. As soon as you—the moment I had you, I was scared of losing you.” 

“You said you never wanted me.” A flash of Marc, pressed against the wall of his motorhome, clawing at Valentino’s arm. If I could rip you out of me, I would. 

“No, it’s—” And how can Valentino ever put it into words in a way that won’t lock him out for good? Yes, before. No, not at first. Yes, after. Yes, for years. Not now. 

“I didn’t die,” Marc says finally, words tiny in the gulf between them.

“Not for lack of trying, hm?”

Eyes rolled. Familiar argument. “I’m racing, Vale. That’s all.” 

And, “I know.” He knows. That’s all it ever was. 

“You said—” Marc swallows. “You wanted the choice.”

“Yes.”

“You would have chosen me.”

Easier to say it at five o’clock in the morning, half-asleep, terror still fresh in his veins. Valentino closes his eyes. “Yes.” 

“I don’t understand,” Marc says, wrung out of him, twisted and squeezed until he gives way. “I—”

When Valentino opens his eyes, Marc is staring back at him, cracked open, wavering. 

“You’re such a fucking—” And Marc laughs. “You’re so difficult. You would have anyway. You just—didn’t like that it wasn’t your decision.” 

What the fuck can he say to that?

“And you were so—” Marc gestures loosely. “You just—were you looking for an excuse, was that it?”

“No—”

“Any reason for you to prove something to the universe.” A flash of teeth: an animalistic snarl. “Because you never asked for this. You never wanted it. You wanted your tenth championship more than you wanted a soulmate.”

“I wanted you,” Valentino whispers. “I want you.” 

“You said—” Marc cuts off. Shakes his head. “You—I don’t understand you. I don’t know—I don’t know what you want.”

“I just told you.” The words are acid, because Marc doesn’t believe him. 

You still want me, right?

Too much—too much since then. Too much pushing and scratching, and their foundations have long since crumbled. He can’t reach out and find forgiveness, can’t conjure it up with the brush of fingers on skin. 

“You told me a lot of things, Valentino.” 

You rode well. You need to stop crashing. I want you. I love you. I never wanted this. I love you. I hate you. I love you. 

“Marc—” There’s panic now, cold and sickening at the back of his throat, because Marc might close up, tell him to leave, and that would be it: no more cracked door, no more answered calls. Gone for good. 

Nothing but an old bruise. 

“Why did you answer the phone?”

That makes him pause, mid-step. “What?”

“When I called, after your crash. Why did you answer?”

“I was concussed,” Marc says, mean, eyes narrowed, trying to hurt. Trying to see how much Valentino means this, if he’ll respond in kind. Blood for blood. 

“Ah, well, they should not have given you your phone, if that was the case.” 

Marc doesn’t crack. “Why did you call?”

“You know why.” 

“No, I don’t. You maybe—you wanted to make sure you didn’t lose your mark? Only because it hurt, of course. You wanted to remind yourself that all I do is crash?” Pushing, pushing, the way Valentino used to: pushing to the limits and beyond, scratching and snarling, testing the reaches of intertwined fate. “Fuck, Vale—give me a straight answer for once in your life.” 

Well, they’ve never been very good at that. Valentino drops his head, presses fingers to his pinched forehead. “You’re my soulmate.”

“That you don’t want.”

“Now who is difficult?” he retorts before he can stop himself, and Marc’s expression settles into something—somewhere between satisfaction and resignation. He pushed Valentino over the edge. Won the battle to lose the war. “No, listen—you are my soulmate. I did not want a soulmate.”

“I know.”

“I want you. Do you see?”

“No.” 

“I’m trying,” Valentino says quietly, and that seems to buy him a little more time, a little more grace. “Why—why did you—in Valencia, why didn’t you answer me?” 

Marc folds his arms, throws his walls back up. “Does it matter?”

“If we are being honest with each other, then…”

“If I—” Honesty comes as difficult to Marc as it does to Valentino, apparently. “If I opened my eyes, it was over. But you left anyway, so.” 

“And…you did not want it to be over?” 

The glare Marc levels at him this time is frigid. “You were the one who—”

“Yes, but—even then?” 

“Before, then, now.” Marc shrugs, like that isn’t monumental, seismic. 

“Oh,” Valentino says, exhales the word and watches it float away. His limbs are air, all of a sudden, because Marc is not the same as ten years ago and Valentino has been unforgivable and yet—

Marc wants him. 

Despite it all, he smiles.

“Do not—” Marc hisses. “Do not fucking laugh at me.”

“No—no. Sorry. I am sorry.” He shakes his head. “I’m—so fucking sorry.” For it all. Such a small word for everything he’s done. 

Marc’s tight jaw loosens. “You are getting good at saying this.” 

“We are never too old to stop learning, I think.” 

Silence. 

“Sorry,” Valentino offers again; Marc looks at him and he’s feeling fucking giddy now, helium-light, floaty. 

Marc swallows, says, “Valentino,” in a way that pulls him back to earth. 

He has no right to expect it to be that easy, not after everything. The lightness turns leaden. 

“You are not being fair,” Marc whispers, throat clicking as he swallows again, eyes shining. It’s worse, this, than his probing cruelty. “You—it is always up to you, no? You want me, you do not want me. I will keep racing. I will crash. You will change your mind again. I am not—I will not do that.”  

“I will not change my mind—”

“I think you will. I will race Pecco too hard, maybe. I will go to the ranch and you will get that look—like you remember it is the rest of our lives and it scares you, or like you hate me for something that I—I could not control any more than you could. I am not waiting for you to remember that you do not want me.”

Valentino drops his head again, presses his thumbs into the corners of his eyes. His head hurts. He’s cold. “You will be waiting a long time. For that.”

“How long?”

“Forever.” 

“That is a long time.”

“Yes.” 

“Look at me.” 

Valentino does, helpless. Marc’s expression is wretched; his eyes dance, side-to-side, until he’s found whatever he was looking for in Valentino’s face. He pulls his eyebrows together, turns the corners of his mouth down.

“I mean, I know the sex was good, but…” 

The laugh sputters out of Valentino’s chest, halfway hysterical, almost a sob, and Marc grins, triumphant, because he’s joking, he’s— “Don’t be a bastard.” 

“I am allowed this, no?”

Valentino tips his head, side to side. “You are allowed this a little, I think.” He lets himself smile. “Why did you answer the phone?” 

“You know why.”

He does. But— 

But. 

“I was not the one who—” and Marc stops this time, swallows the words. Like he knows they might hurt. Like he cares that they’ll hurt. 

There’s hope now, singing a thready song in time with Valentino’s pulse. If he can just grasp it—

“You should—you should come to Tavullia,” he says in a rush. “Not—not the ranch. My house. Please. You should.”

Marc stares, disbelief written openly on his face.

“I know—I know this means—it is forever. I know that. I will not—”

“The team will want to celebrate,” Marc says, dull.

“Oh.”

“But—well. We will finish early, probably. We have to prepare for the flyaways.” A shrug. “After that…”

“After that,” Valentino agrees on an exhale. 

Marc smiles. 

——

Valentino had meant it: they’d been good in Valencia. It had been good. It also—hadn’t been.

Valencia was—it was Marc upset, falling to pieces between his hands in all the wrong ways, fracturing until he slipped away like sand. Marc didn’t understand, thought he was playing Valentino’s game, and Valentino had thought finally, finally, he’d fixed it. It had been frantic, too frenetic after eight years without. It had been a supernova, brilliant and bright for an agonising second before the sky went dark again.

Not this time. Valentino is not ashamed to admit his elbows are starting to strain, arms taking his weight, but he’s not rushing this, not when he has Marc between his planted palms, staring up at him and grinning. Marc’s not drunk, but—pink cheeks, eyes shining dark in the half-light, hair a mess, smiling so widely it’s splitting his face. They used to be good; this might be better.

Valentino rolls his hips, bites his lip at the friction, forces his eyes to stay open because Marc’s smile melts into a perfect gasp, eyelashes fluttering.

Marc had made it to Tavullia. He had then made it no further than the sofa. 

“Vale—” he hisses, and there’s the scrape of fingernails, but across Valentino’s back, far from any soulmark. 

“Okay?” 

“Of course it’s okay—” Another broken-off inhale. Marc grabs Valentino’s right arm, just above the elbow; when he steadies himself, he slides his fingers up, traces the oh-so-familiar outline, and Valentino’s smooth, careful movement turns jerky at the burst of sparks. “Stop—fucking around.” 

Valentino laughs, light, and Marc’s mouth finds his, smiling again.

The quivering electricity fades, but Marc presses his big palm over Valentino’s mark and keeps it there, warm and steady, says here, I’m here, I’ll always be here without words. Valentino can feel it, the promise of it, beating with his pulse—not throbbing, not bruised, not anymore. He drags his hips up, slowly again, relishing the heat around his cock, watching Marc’s face as his sigh melts into something blissful. 

It doesn’t matter what the universe says; it never mattered, because this is Marc. He’s an idiot, and Valentino’s an idiot, but they’re here and they’ve chosen to be here. 

That—that has to mean something. 

——

“Vale.”

He cracks open one eye, forces himself out of the doze that had almost become sleep. “Mm?” 

“I have an early flight,” Marc whispers, warm against his skin. Cracking the door open, dismissing himself before Valentino has to. 

“You should go to sleep, then.”

Silence—then, in the dark of Valentino’s room, Marc smiles. It’s shadowed in the watery moonlight trickling through the curtains: Marc, silhouetted all silvery beside him in bed, the lines of his body, his mussed hair, his cheeks curved up as he beams. Hot breath ghosts over Valentino’s mark—his mark, his mark—and he shivers. 

“Long flight, yes?”

“Indonesia.”

“Ah,” Valentino says, like he doesn’t already know. 

“Not my favourite.” They’re heavy, those words; they carry a lot. 

“Not mine, either.” But, Valentino supposes, it’s a little like full circle, in a fucked-up way. Mandalika: Marc falls; he picks up the phone. And now, now—

Now he might finally have what he always should have wanted, what he only realised he’d miss when he nearly lost it for good. Forever. 

It’s as if Marc can read his mind, because he rolls closer, chin pressing into Valentino’s chest. “What…?” He stops. “What if I never had that crash?”

Valentino has been trying to avoid thinking about that, mainly because he doesn’t have an answer himself. “I don’t know.”

“Yeah.”

“I think I said at the time, yes?” Valentino reaches over to tap a finger on Marc’s soulmark, smiling when he sighs.

“Stop trying to distract me—”

“Without this, my mark, I would not have called. So that is something.” 

Marc tilts his head, like he remembers what they said on the phone that first time, like he turns it over in his head as often as Valentino does.  “You never—before that, you talked about it differently. You never said—you never called it yours.”

Another thing Valentino has no answer to. Maybe Marc just needs to say it, let it take form and hover between them. He hopes so. He’s gotten off lightly so far. 

“You know in 2015–”

Jesus. Maybe not.

“I was racing,” Marc says, unapologetic but like he needs to say it, needs Valentino to hear it. “Don’t look like that—we never fucking talked about anything before. We just had sex.”

“Good sex.” 

“Valentino.” 

“I thought you had a flight in the morning—”

“Valentino.”

Valentino sighs. “I know you were racing. I know it was nothing else. I know. I just—I was already—you had crashed so much, bad crashes that year, and it was like you didn’t care about yourself, or my races. There was so much, and there was Jorge, and the championship, and my soulmate had a death wish. It—everything. All of it.” 

Marc’s eyes glint in the thin darkness, watching him steadily. 

“Not an excuse. I—”

“You hurt me.”

“I know,” Valentino croaks. Hurt his arm. Hurt their marks. Hurt him so deeply it’s a miracle they’re here at all. 

He wonders if it means something, for that little part of him to live now among the rest of Marc’s scars. If Marc had ever felt his arm ache and not been sure which injury was digging old teeth in. If Valentino ever became, even for a while, just something else Marc had healed from.

But Marc is forgiving, or maybe just tired, and he tucks his head in, settles himself in Valentino’s arms. 

“It’s a long triple header.” 

“Yes,” Marc murmurs, and he doesn’t sound upset about the change in topic. It’s more than Valentino deserves. 

“What are you going to do after?”

“Get ready for the next triple header.”

Valentino curls his right arm around Marc’s shoulders, fingers finding scars and soulmark. There’s himself. There’s Marc. “Sensible. What about after that?”

“I don’t know.”

“You could come back here. You should.” 

Marc looks at him. Smiles. “And after?” 

“Ah, I have a race. And you have the test. Ducati, of course. After that, you will come back here again.”

A smirk, no sharp edge to it. “I will?”

“Yes,” Valentino says, and it sings between them, the certainty of it. The promise. “You will.”

[galaxy-fleur]

hii! so, i saw your post about leon smut headcanons and i kinda loved it! can you make one for chris too? thank you <3

I love a good opportunity to think about Chris... Wrote this with post re6 and onwards Chris in mind!

In my head, Chris' libido has always been a bit on the lower side, though I do think it gets significantly better once he works through his issues that were plaguing him during re6. He's obviously in a way better place mentally, and his sex life is a perfect reflection of that. He likes to have sex with his partner maybe once or twice a week, but it's usually a lengthy and intense fucking session. You could even crack a joke that he's just charging up his inner battery before going at it with you, though he won't be very amused (he totally will).

Every choice Chris takes, no matter how tiny, is weighed down by a great deal of obligations and expectations. He doesn't regret choosing this life for himself. It goes without saying, though, that carrying this great load of responsibility all the time is exhausting.

Sex is, in a sense, both his comfort and outlet. Nothing compares to returning home from a long, demanding day and losing himself in your shared touch and pleasure until his brain is blissfully empty. Maybe that's why he likes to do it methodically and slowly. He gives you everything he has, just like he does in his career. He is devoted and enthusiastic. Not to sound too sappy, but having sex with him always reminds you why you fell for this man in the first place.

In terms of his tastes, I believe he would be quite skilled at using his hands to satisfy his partner. And I mean every part of his hands. Biceps, palms, fingers - everything. There's just something about using these hands of his that are usually meant for holding weapons and inflicting damage for something else that makes you both feel good. It just... flips a certain switch in his brain.

Needless to say, he touches you constantly. Be it gentle caresses over the contours of your figure or fervent groping at any flesh his greedy fingers can reach. He needs to have his hands on you and feel the warmth of your body under his palms. Getting you off with one hand while keeping your back flush against his chest with the other, his mouth swallowing up all of your beautiful sounds, is probably one of his favorite things to do. There's nothing more satisfying to him than feeling you being totally ensnared by him.

If you're into that, and you are okay with it, I do see him finding a certain thrill in putting you in a headlock, too. It'd be painfully obvious that he's holding back on you, though. Almost funnily so, because at first, he'll barely put any pressure at all. He simply does not wish to cause you any harm, bless his heart. It's sweet of him to care. He won't complain, though, if you're all for being smothered by those biceps of his.

I do not see Chris as a rough sex-partner per se, but his size and strength sort of give off that impression once he gets real into it. However, before engaging in any actual fucking, he always makes sure you're nice and lubricated, whether it's by natural means, or with the help of some lubricant. He knows that he's big. He's honestly more embarrassed than proud of it. So be sure to give him lots of compliments! Having said that, I do believe he has a slight praise kink. On the receiving end. Even though Chris normally takes the lead, a few tender kisses and sincere compliments from you will quickly make his knees buckle and his breath hitch. So... that's something you can take advantage of whenever you feel like it.

I would say that his favorite positions are face-off and doggie, as well as good old missionary. After a difficult week or two, doggy is a terrific way to relieve stress and release all of his pent-up energy. But as you go at it, it usually becomes a pinned doggy. He just can't help but want to be close to you. Conversely, face-off is for more intimate, slower, and emotionally charged sex. Primarily when he needs some consolation. It's a bit unconventional, but I see a lot of meaningful conversations occurring during or after that type of sex with him.

He's louder than you might imagine when it comes to how vocal he is. He rarely full-on moans, but what he does a lot is groan. And he groans pretty loudly. It's a very hot thing to have him pant, huff, and rumble into your ear because his voice just naturally becomes deeper and raspier when lust clouds his head. He usually cums with a broken gasp, throwing his head back. An absolutely stunning sight to behold, and a terrific incentive for you to spoil him by sucking him off, but I'm getting off topic. He's also the type to talk during sex, oddly enough. Not even dirty talk, but actual conversation.

It's a weird quirk, and it sure can get annoying when he's actively thrusting in and out of you, and then starts talking to you about what happened at work earlier. With that, he's a bit of a weirdball. Still, off-topic discussions aside, he's big on communicating, so it's not all bad. He can and does say fitting things too! He's very prone to talking you through it, so speak.

You can expect him to say something like: 'I've been thinking about this all day... Coming home to you, having you like this.' 'Are you close? Yeah, I know, I got you. Just look at me, will you? Just like that. Perfect.'

Chris pays close attention to aftercare as well. Usually asks you a few questions to see if you're sore or uncomfortable anywhere, and takes care of you if needed. Before cleaning himself, he always makes sure to clean you off first. Huge on cuddles after sex. He loves it more than anything else. Simply to keep you close to his chest once your sexy time is over. The fact that he's like a big, cozy teddy bear for you to snuggle with is definitely a pleasant bonus. Always prepares your breakfast the next day, even when he has to leave. You need to get your strength back! Or so he claims. He really just does it as a thank-you.

[seashellronan]

i know onion makes everything taste good but why does it have to be so violent, i have big bug eyes and the onions are coming for blood i cut an onion for dinner and am out of action for the next 20 minutes

[low-budget-korra]

My comments on Arcane s01

-Vi is the sister I wish I had, fr. And as an lesbian older sister myself, it wasn't hard for me to connect with her from the very first episode.And now that I've watched the show, I don't understand how some people blame her for wherever she did to Jinx. Yeah, Jinx was just a kid but guess what, so was Vi. Jinx lost everything? So has Vi.

"but Violet abandoned Powder" No! She was protecting her lil sister. And she just saw her sister murder their entire family, how y'all think she feels? And she was about to save Powder before she was kidnapped.

And the fact that she manages to be so soft and good besides everything she went through... Vi is THE exception.

-Powder/Jinx was just a kid and all but damn. Vi forgives it all she has done, and in the one time Vi needs her forgiveness, she's so quick to hate her for good. Did she really realize what she had done?

Well, now I see why some people compared her to Azula. The difference is that Azula never had anything like Vander or Vi, Jinx had that and still went nuts. And also, Azula never goes for the murder, not really when it was expected (like when she was betrayed by Mai and Ty Lee). While Jinx would give 2 shits about kill people for funzies.

Yes, I feel sympathy for her, just as much as I feel anger towards her. She is a complex character that's for sure. And mentally ill

And my hate for her is mostly for the way she treats Vi honestly

Anyway, there's this joke on Brazilian fandom that Jinx is homophobic and that's why she can't stand Caitlyn and can't stand seeing her with Vi, and I think it's honestly hilarious

-CaitVi is a wonderful ship. Nothing against the explicit and big gestures such as kissing and all but damn, I missed the subtlety. The minor and meaningful touches, the gazes...it reminded me so much of Korrasami

-I loved Jayce and Caitlyn's relationship. When united, gays and lesbians are strong.

And I still don't get why people keep pretending Caitlyn actions on s2(as far as I saw in the trailers) aren't justified. Her mom was murdered by the people she tried to help, if it was me, I would also raise hell upon them. Anyway, let's talk about s1 Caitlyn and she is just so adorable.

She really wanted to make a difference, to help. She got out of her bubble and got a taste of the real world, and I bet it hurt. She just wanted to help and to do what's right but she paid the high price and has all the right to me mad at s2

And from the way she flinched at Jinx during the "dinner" scene, at bet the hours she spent under Jinx mercy weren't nice

-Im sorry, I didn't care much about the hextec plot. I know it's important and it's what makes the character on the road but their inner struggles and their subplots are far better to watch.

The only interesting part of them was Jayce cuz he is such an interesting character. For the way I've seen people talk about them, I thought he was gonna be the worst but no. You can see he struggles with some decisions. He ain't bad, he just does bad decisions

-Ekko is such a G man. If something happens to him in s2, I will riot. I like how he is the exact opposite of Jinx.

Ekko also lost everything and everyone, but instead of Jinx, he turned his pain into something good, into helping others the way Vander and Benzo helped him and the other kids.

I wasn't expecting him to be friends with Heimerdinger but I love that for him

-Lets talk about something serious, Jinx was right in her anger towards the upper class but blowing things up was not the answer. Vander knew and saw things how it was, making deals is better than having innocent blood in the streets.In fact, I saw a lot of simplified comments about the politics and social aspects of Arcane and now that I've watched the show I see how damn immature and naive a lot of them are.

Do not get me wrong, we should rebel every time we need and violence is a part of that. No revolution happened without it. But we should be wise about the battles we pick.

Let's look at Caitlyn for example, she is born rich and a good person. It's naive to expect someone born with everything and disconnected with the lower class problems and needs, to all of sudden be an ally to social causes. Born rich and privileged doesn't necessarily mean you are born a bad person, just as much as born poor doesn't automatically make you a good person.

Now, do you think Caitlyn deserved to lose her mother like that? Do you think she deserves what Jinx did to her just because she was from Piltover? That's when you lose potential allies and gain strong enemiesIt's not that simple. Social problems such as class differences, poverty, violence...it's not something that you can fix that easily. Oh man, I wish it was but it ain't.

With all that said, Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, Ekko, Vander...none of them are evil and most of their actions (if not all of them) have a solid reason behind it, but this doesn't mean they were the best thing to do.

-Fuck you Silco. He is what happens when you put a "wherever it cost" mentality, cuz sometimes the cost is high. Too high. Also, he doesn't want justice or revenge, he wants power

-The animation and sound design is a masterpiece too. And the fight choreography? Damn shit was fire

[clowndensation]

it's like. louis attempted to tell this story to daniel the first time, broke down, and attacked him before he could finish it.

and then decades later he's convinced himself that it was leaving the story unresolved that's holding him back from living his life fully now. so he invites daniel back again. and louis is sitting poised and put together, confident in his ability to recite his history in a pretty, poignant, neat little narrative that will resolve all the guilt and yearning and emptiness inside of him. that if he can just tell a compelling, satisfying story, maybe it will actually be that, and not the life he lived through, with all the pitfalls of his own failures lurking inside.

and then season 1 ends with him once again being forced to confront that the story he wants to imagine and the life he actually lived aren't the same thing. the boundaries around his narrative are shredded and he's left exposed, and subsequently able to face his past for the first time since that original interview. and you think, you think, "well this is it. they've crossed the event horizon. there's no use hiding the truth anymore, not after it's come flooding out into the open like this"

and then season 2 opens. not only is it back to the original, practiced distance, we now have armand literally enforcing that distance. a man sitting at the table who's interjections must be disregarded, an intentional interruption to the flow of the story. he doesn't exist to aid or add detail, he exists to distract louis when he gets too deep in the story. the only time we do get louis allowing any deep truth to come out is when armand leaves the room.

it's like. louis wants a story that's true, and the truth is what he's convinced will leave him satisfied. armand wants a story that will satisfy louis, to the extent louis will accept it's true.

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[worstloki]

Thor: your food tastes horrible, what have you done to your natural produce

Tony: I order in from Iraq to feel something

[crossbackpoke-check]

Substance, Shadow, and Spirit [remixed, abridged] by Tao Yuanming

[missrosegold]

Looks like I just lost another close friend to guy who isn't worth a pile of dog shit. 😊

[houseofwolvess]

i always find it so funny that so many of y'all are all for the death of cringe culture until someone does something you personally find to be a little TOO weird and then bully them till they shut up. like you can't have it both ways. you can't scream out "cringe culture is dead!!" and then hurt people for harmless interests :/

[metamercury]

Hang on I was gonna put this in the tags, but I have contributing thoughts that are a bit larger:

This is a long post, but I thought it was an interesting read that gives a take that I feel many fandom creators share. So it's worth reading for that perspective at the very least.

For me personally though, I don't believe these problems are solved at all by locking fics on Ao3. It's not going to do much to stop the people who want to take it and disseminate it to the masses, as it only takes one "fan" to pass your work onto all the tourists.

But whether or not you can meaningfully stop theft isn't my main comment.

I think what locking fic on Ao3 in particular is more likely to do however is dissuade curious onlookers from actually getting more involved in the fandom (as a dedicated lurker or otherwise). This is specifically because when you're logged out of Ao3, it doesn't show you locked fics as things that exists but you can't access. Instead, ao3 it doesn't show you the locked fics at all. They don't exist. If everyone locks their fic, a curious onlooker trying to see if anything has been written for a show/movie/game they love will look on Ao3 and find.... that there's no community there at all. They would find nothing.

If it were a situation where it showed you the locked fics and then hit you with a "log in to continue" page if you tried to read it, then this wouldn't be so much of an issue. But because Ao3 hides locked fics from you completely if you're not logged in, I think it really is a detriment to new fans. These new fans can't even see that there's a barrier or a gate that they need to cross to get involved in fandom, they just see that nothing exists. And if nothing exists, then they're likely to move on and find something new to get interested in. Who is supposed to tell them that the community exists if only they knew the magic word?

I get why people choose to lock their fics, and I don't think anyone is wrong in making that choice for themselves. But I also think that it is overall a detriment to fandom spaces. Communities need to have ways of bringing new people in, and I worry that we'd miss a lot of great writers and readers this way.

Fandom can do a little gatekeeping. As a treat.

So I finally decided to archive-lock my fics on AO3 last night. I’ve been considering it since the AI scrape last year, but the tipping point was this whole lore.fm debacle, coupled with some thoughts I’ve been thinking regarding Fandom These Days in general and Fandom As A Community in particular. So I wanna explain why I waited so long, why I locked my stuff up now, and why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a-okay with making it harder for people to see my stories.

Lurkers really are great, tho

I’m a chronic lurker, and have been since I started hanging out on the internet as a teen in the 00s. These days it’s just cuz I don’t feel a need to socialize very often, but back then it was because I was shy and knew I was socially awkward. Even if I made an account, I’d spend months lurking on message boards or forums or Livejournals, watching other people interact and getting a feel for that particular community’s culture and etiquette before I finally started interacting myself. And y’know, that approach saved me a lot of embarrassment. Over the course of my lurking on any site, there was always some other person who’d clearly joined up five minutes after learning the place existed, barged in without a care for their behavior, and committed so many social faux pas that all the other users were immediately annoyed with them at best. I learned a lot observing those incidents. Lurk More is Rule 33 of the internet for very good reason.

Lurking isn’t bad or weird or creepy. It’s perfectly normal. I love lurking. It’s hard for me to not lurk - socializing takes a lot of energy out of me, even via text. (Heck it took 12 hours for me to write this post, I wish I was kidding--) Occasionally I’ll manage longer bouts of interaction - a few weeks posting here, almost a year chatting in a discord there - but I’m always gonna end up going radio silent for months at some point. I used to feel bad about it, but I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it’s just the way my brain works. I’m a chronic lurker, and in the long term nothing is going to change that.

The thing with being a chronic lurker is that you have to accept that you are not actually seen as part of the community you are lurking in. That’s not to say that lurkers are unimportant - lurkers actually are important, and they make up a large proportion of any online community - but it’s simple cause and effect. You may think of it as “your community”, but if you’ve never said a word, how is the community supposed to know you exist? If I lurked on someone’s LJ, and then that person suddenly friendslocked their blog, I knew that I had two choices: Either accept that I would never be able to read their posts again, or reach out to them and ask if I could be added to their friends list with the full understanding that I was a rando they might not decide to trust. I usually went with the first option, because my invisibility as a lurker was more important to me than talking to strangers on the internet.

Lurking is like sitting on a park bench, quietly people-watching and eavesdropping on the conversations other people are having around you. You’re in the park, but you’re not actively participating in anything happening there. You can see and hear things that you become very interested in! But if you don’t introduce yourself and become part of the conversation, you won’t be able to keep listening to it when those people walk away. When fandom migrated away from Livejournal, people moved to new platforms alongside their friends, but lurkers were often left behind. No one knew they existed, so they weren’t told where everyone else was going. To be seen as part of a fandom community, you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. etc.

There’s nothing wrong with lurking. There can actually be benefits to lurking, both for the lurkers and the communities they lurk in. It’s just another way to be in a fandom. But if that is how you exist in fandom--and remember, I say this as someone who often does exist that way in fandom--you need to remember that you’re on the outside looking in, and the curtains can always close.

I’ve always been super sympathetic to lurkers, because I am one. I know there’s a lot of people like me who just don’t socialize often. I know there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not make an account on the internet - maybe they’re nervous, maybe they’re young and their parents don’t allow them to, maybe they’re in a bad situation where someone is monitoring their activity, maybe they can only access the internet from public computer terminals. Heck, I’ve never even logged into AO3 on my phone--if I’m away from my computer I just read what’s publicly available. 

I know I have people lurking on my fics. I know my fics probably mean a lot to someone I don’t even know exists. I know this because there are plenty of fics I love whose writers don’t know I exist.

I love my commenters personally; I love my lurkers as an abstract concept. I know they’re there and I wish them well, and if they ever de-lurk I love them all the more.

So up until last year I never considered archive-locking my fic, because I get it. The AI scraping was upsetting, but I still hesitated because I was thinking of lurkers and guests and remembering what it felt like to be 15 and wondering if it’d be worth letting a stranger on the internet know I existed and asking to be added to their friends list just so I could reread a funny post they made once.

But the internet has changed a lot since the 00s, and fandom has changed with it. I’ve read some things and been doing some thinking about fandom-as-community over the last few years, and reading through the lore.fm drama made me decide that it’s time for me to set some boundaries.

I still love my lurkers, and I feel bad about leaving any guest commenters behind, especially if they’re in a situation where they can’t make an account for some reason. But from here on out, even my lurkers are going to have to do the bare minimum to read my fics--make an AO3 account.

Should we gatekeep fandom?

I’ve seen a few people ask this question, usually rhetorically, sometimes as a joke, always with a bit of seriousness. And I think…yeah, maybe we should. Except wait, no, not like that--

A decade ago, when people talked about fandom gatekeeping and why it was bad to do, it intersected with a lot of other things, mainly feminism and classism. The prevalent image of fandom gatekeeping was, like, a man learning that a woman likes Star Wars and haughtily demanding, “Oh, yeah? Well if you’re REALLY a fan, name ten EU novels” to belittle and dismiss her, expecting that a “real fan” would have the money and time to be familiar with the EU, and ignoring the fact that male movie-only fans were still considered fans. The thing being gatekept was the very definition of “being a fan” and people’s right to describe themselves as one.

That’s not what I mean when I say maybe fandom should gatekeep more. Anyone can call themselves a fan if they like something, that’s fine. But when it comes to the ability to enjoy the fanworks produced by the fandom community…that might be something worth gatekeeping.

See, back in the 00s, it was perfectly common for people to just…not go on the internet. Surfing the web was a thing, but it was just, like, a fun pastime. Not everyone did it. It wasn’t until the rise of social media that going online became a thing everyone and their grandmother did every day. Back then, going on the internet was just…a hobby.

So one of the first gates online fandom ever had was the simple fact that the entire world wasn’t here yet.

The entire world is here now. That gate has been demolished.

And it’s a lot easier to find us now. Even scattered across platforms, fandom is so centralized these days. It isn’t a network of dedicated webshrines and forums that you can only find via webrings anymore, it’s right there on all the big social media sites. AO3 didn’t set out to be the main fanfic website, but that’s definitely what it’s become. It’s easy for people to find us--and that includes people who don’t care about the community, and just want “content.”

Transformative fandom doesn’t like it when people see our fanworks as “content”. “Content” is a pretty broad term, but when fandom uses it we’re usually referring to creative works that are churned out by content creators to be consumed by an audience as quickly as possible as often as possible so that the content creator can generate revenue. This not-so-new normal has caused a massive shift in how people who are new to fandom view fanworks--instead of seeing fic or art as something a fellow fan made and shared with you, they see fanworks as products to be consumed.

Transformative fandom has, in general, always been a gift economy. We put time and effort into creating fanworks that we share with our fellow fans for free. We do this so we don’t get sued, but fandom as a whole actually gets a lot out of the gift economy. Offer your community a story, and in return you can get comments, build friendships, or inspire other people to write things that you might want to read. Readers are given the gift of free stories to read and enjoy, and while lurking is fine, they have the choice to engage with the writer and other readers by leaving comments or making reclists to help build the community.

And look, don’t get me wrong. People have never engaged with fanfic as much as fan writers wish they would. There has always been “no one comments anymore” wank. There have always been people who only comment to say “MORE!” or otherwise demand or guilt trip writers into posting the next chapter. But fandom has always agreed that those commenters are rude and annoying, and as those commenters navigate fandom they have the chance to learn proper community etiquette.

However, now it seems that a lot of the people who are consuming fanworks aren’t actually in the community. 

I won’t say “they aren’t real fans” because that’s silly; there’s lots of ways to be a fan. But there seem to be a lot of fans now who have no interest in fandom as a community, or in adhering to community etiquette, or in respecting the gift economy. They consume our fics, but they don’t appreciate fan labor. They want our “content”, but they don’t respect our control over our creations.

And even worse--they see us as a resource. We share our work for free, as a gift, but all they see is an open-source content farm waiting to be tapped into. We shared it for free, so clearly they can do whatever they want with it. Why should we care if they feed our work into AI training datasets, or copy/paste our unfinished stories into ChatGPT to get an ending, or charge people for an unnecessary third-party AO3 app, or sell fanbindings on etsy for a profit without the author’s permission, or turn our stories into poor imitations of podfics to be posted on other platforms without giving us credit or asking our consent, while also using it to lure in people they can datascrape for their Forbes 30 Under 30 company? 

And sure, people have been doing shady things with other people’s fanworks since forever. Art theft and reposting has always been a big problem. Fanfic is harder to flat-out repost, but I’ve heard of unauthorized fic translations getting posted without crediting the original author. Once in…I think the 2010s? I read a post by a woman who had gone to some sort of local bookselling event, only to find that the man selling “his” novel had actually self-published her fanfic. (Wish I could find that one again, I don’t even remember where I read it.)

But aside from that third example, the thing is…as awful as fanart/writing theft is, back in the day, the main thing a thief would gain from it was clout. Clout that should rightfully go to the creators who gifted their work in the first place, yeah, but still. Just clout. People will do a lot of hurtful things for clout, but fandom clout means nothing outside of fandom. Fandom clout is not enough to incentivize the sort of wide-scale pillaging we’re seeing from community outsiders today.

Money, on the other hand… Well, fandom’s just a giant, untapped content farm, isn’t it? Think of how much revenue all that content could generate.

Lurkers are a normal and even beneficial part of any online community. Maybe one day they’ll de-lurk and easily slide into place beside their fellow fans because they already know the etiquette. Maybe they’re active in another community, and they can spread information from the community they lurk in to the community they’re active in. At the very least, they silently observe, and even if they’re not active community members, they understand the community.

Fans who see fanworks as “content” don’t belong in the same category as lurkers. They’re tourists. 

While reading through the initial Reddit thread on the lore.fm situation, I found this comment:

[ID: Reddit User Cabbitowo says: ... So in anime fandoms we have a word called tourist and essentially it means a fan of a few anime and doesn't care about anime tropes and actively criticizes them. This is kind of how fandoms on tiktok feel. They're touring fanfics and fanart and actively criticizes tropes that have been in the fandom since the 60s. They want to be in a fandom but they don't want to engage in fandom 

OP totallymandy responds: Just entered back into Reddit after a long day to see this most recent reply. And as a fellow anime fan this making me laugh so much since it’s true! But it sorta hurts too when the reality sets in. Modern fandom is so entitled and bratty and you’d think it’s the minors only but that’s not even true, my age-mates and older seem to be like that. They want to eat their cake and complain all whilst bringing nothing to the potluck… :/ END ID]

-

“Tourist” is an apt name for this sort of fan. They don’t want to be part of our community, and they don’t have to be in order to come into our spaces and consume our work. Even if they don’t steal our work themselves, they feel so entitled to it that they’re fine with ignoring our wishes and letting other people take it to make AI “podfics” for them to listen to (there are a lot of comments on lore.fm’s shutdown announcement video from people telling them to just ignore the writers and do it anyway). They’ll use AI to generate an ending to an unfinished fic because they don’t care about seeing “the ending this writer would have given to the story they were telling”, they just want “an ending”. For these tourist fans, the ends justify the means, and their end goal is content for them to consume, with no care for the community that created it for them in the first place.

I don’t think this is confined to a specific age group. This isn’t “13-year-olds on Wattpad” or “Zoomers on TikTok” or whatever pointless generation war we’re in now. This is coming from people who are new to fandom, whose main experience with creative works on the internet is this new content culture and who don’t understand fandom as a community. That description can be true of someone from any age group.

It’s so easy to find fandom these days. It is, in fact, too easy. Newcomers face no hurdles or challenges that would encourage them to lurk and observe a bit before engaging, and it’s easy for people who would otherwise move on and leave us alone to start making trouble. From tourist fans to content entrepreneurs to random people who just want to gawk, it’s so easy for people who don’t care about the fandom community to reap all of its fruits. 

So when I say maybe fandom should start gatekeeping a bit, I’m referring to the fact that we barely even have a gate anymore. Everyone is on the internet now; the entire world can find us, and they don’t need to bother learning community etiquette when they do. Before, we were protected by the fact that fandom was considered weird and most people didn’t look at it twice. Now, fandom is pretty mainstream. People who never would’ve bothered with it before are now comfortable strolling in like they own the place. They have no regard for the fandom community, they don’t understand it, and they don’t want to. They want to treat it just like the rest of the content they consume online.

And then they’re surprised when those of us who understand fandom culture get upset. Fanworks have existed far longer than the algorithmic internet’s content. Fanworks existed long before the internet. We’ve lived like this for ages and we like it.

So if someone can’t be bothered to respect fandom as a community, I don’t see why I should give them easy access to my fics.

Think of it like a garden gate

When I interact with commenters on my fic, I have this sense of hospitality.

The comment section is my front porch. The fic is my garden. I created my garden because I really wanted to, and I’m proud of it, and I’m happy to share it with other people. 

Lots of people enjoy looking at my garden. Many walk through without saying anything. Some stop to leave kudos. Some recommend my garden to their friends. And some people take the time to stop by my front porch and let me know what a beautiful garden it is and how much they’ve enjoyed it. 

Any fic writer can tell you that getting comments is an incredible feeling. I always try to answer all my comments. I don’t always manage it, but my fics’ comment sections are the one place that I manage to consistently socialize in fandom. When I respond to a comment, it feels like I’m pouring out a glass of lemonade to share with this lovely commenter on my front porch, a thank you for their thank you. We take a moment to admire my garden together, and then I see them out. The next time they drop by, I recognize them and am happy to pour another glass of lemonade.

My garden has always been open and easy to access. No fences, no walls. You just have to know where to find it. Fandom in general was once protected by its own obscurity, an out-of-the-way town that showed up on maps but was usually ignored.

But now there’s a highway that makes it easy to get to, and we have all these out-of-towner tourists coming in to gawk and steal our lawn ornaments and wonder if they can use the place to make themselves some money.

I don’t care to have those types trampling over my garden and eating all my vegetables and digging up my flowers to repot and sell, so I’ve put up a wall. It has a gate that visitors can get through if they just take the time to open it.

Admittedly, it’s a small obstacle. But when I share my fics, I share them as a gift with my fellow fans, the ones who understand that fandom is a community, even if they’re lurkers. As for tourist fans and entrepreneurs who see fic as content, who have no qualms ignoring the writer’s wishes, who refuse to respect or understand the fandom community…well, they’re not the people I mean to share my fic with, so I have no issues locking them out. If they want access to my stories, they’ll have to do the bare minimum to become a community member and join the AO3 invite queue.

And y’know, I’ve said a lot about fandom and community here, and I just want to say, I hope it’s not intimidating. When I was younger, talk about The Fandom Community made me feel insecure, and I didn’t think I’d ever manage to be active enough in fandom spaces to be counted as A Member Of The Community. But you don’t have to be a social butterfly to participate in fandom. I’ll always and forever be a chronic lurker, I reblog more than I post, I rarely manage to comment on fic, and I go radio silent for months at a time--but I write and post fanfiction. That’s my contribution.

Do you write, draw, vid, gif, or otherwise create? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you leave comments? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you curate reclists? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you maintain a fandom blog or fuckyeah blog? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you provide a space for other fans to convene in? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you regularly send asks (off anon so people know who you are)? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you have fandom friends who you interact with? Congrats, you're a community member.

There’s lots of ways to be a fan. Just make sure to respect and appreciate your fellow fans and the work they put in for you to enjoy and the gift economy fandom culture that keeps this community going.

[amalgamgooze]

mall adventure with my sleep deprived friends

Prom was last night. We all had a good time.

======================

Of course, everyone's either super tired today or just feeling weird.

I ended up only waking up at 1:30 this afternoon because of how late I'd stayed up. I'd felt tired leaving prom but I also couldn't really fall asleep.

Regardless. I didn't feel that tired, but that's probably because I probably got a good amount of sleep last night AND I usually don't get more than 8 hours of sleep on regular days.

The same can't be said for my friends, I'm afraid.

At the mall, I practically had to drag them out of the kitchenware section, breaking up a conversation something along the lines of "do we need anything for our graduation parties from this aisle?". I might be an asshole for doing that, but come on. If you're getting a waffle iron for your grad party, that's something you should probably coordinate with whoever's helping you host the party--not your friends that you're just going on a trip to the mall with.

(Though I suppose a waffle iron could be fun at a grad party. To an extent.)

(Frying pans, however, are just weird.)

After doubting the purity of two-dollar Target lemonade jugs and spending an obscene amount of time in the cheese and kitchenware aisles, this party ambled onwards into a Bath & Body Works.

Bath & Body Works is, if you're not pursuing delectable-yet-manufactured fragrances, an excellent exercise in distinguishing between farce and reality, between satire and truth.

"Lemongrass" and "Lavender" are two tangible scents. They are "things". I can pick up a "lemongrass" and smell it.

Our slippery slope begins at scents like "Rain" and "Tropical". Obviously, "Tropical" is a collection of various "tropical" smells masterfully blended into one fragrant concoction, and "Rain" does, in fact, have the scientifically-proven-and-named smell petrichor. But Bath & Body Works "Rain" does not parallel that of the post-downpour smell of petrichor. Bath & Body Works "Rain" is just sweet. "Rain" is just a name attached to this specific smell.

(See Hayakawa's book Language in Thought and Action.)

Finally, at the bottom of our descent, we find smells such as "Water" and "Canyon". Things that don't really have a smell. But somehow, the geniuses at Bath & Body Works came up with a way to attribute scents to "Water" and "Canyon".

(Again, Hayakawa's Language in Thought and Action.)

But alas. There is no bottom, nor is there a top. There was never a descent to begin with. At Bath & Body Works, the smell of "Water" is as real as the smell of "Lavender". It's all fake chemical fragrances anyway.

And therein lies the farce.

I suppose the wine-taster-like antics that I've seen Bath & Body Works customers do also contribute to this. For instance, when they give you paper to spray with a fragrance to see how it smells, you should probably, you know, spray the paper. However, I got to witness some geniuses spray the air, then wave the paper around in the now-scented air. I commend you, for far too long when I shoved the sprayed paper up my nostrils did I feel the scent was much too bold and unbearable. Now, however, I am fortunate enough to have happened upon superior intellect in action, and now when I shove the Bath & Body Works scent-test strips up my nose, the scent becomes much more bearable.

I don't know. Might as well start holding the scent up to your ear and sampling how it sounds too at that point.

(Yes. Of course I tasted a few scents today.)

I've got gripes with Bath & Body Works and revisiting it today didn't fix any of them. Like, why not just buy normal soap? Why not buy something real? I get that nice smells are nice, but nice smells can also be attained via other means!

Is it too much to ask in today's America that my hand soap fulfill its one job without making my hands smell like "Canyon" afterward? Is it too much to ask that the lavender I smell be from flowers or perhaps even a lovely chap steeping a splendid cup of lavender tea, someone who'll talk to me and hold real conversation instead of smelling of "Lavender"?

…

I wonder what "Pessimism" smells like.

…

Anyway.

Thankfully, after fleeing the stank halls of Bath & Body Works, we went to a few other stores.

And then I got peer pressured into buying a totally radical hat. Sweet!

…

That was about it, I suppose.

A fun trip, no doubt!

But damn. I could go on and on about goddamn Bath & Body Works.

But I won't. Eventually I'd hit a point where it'd stop being funny and true.

And that's a fundamental part of dancing on that line between reality and farce.

…

Bath & Body Works should not be bothering me this much.

…

See you all later, I suppose!

[treasure-goblin]

SUPRISE so I made the realization as to why I've been so unproductive for so long in terms of art/photography/writing after the blog switch and so yeah ha that's nice

[nkogneatho]

"𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐊"

𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊

—cw: lactation kink, mentions of pregnancy, dirty, nasty, depraved stuff, vaginal sex, period oral mention, monsterfucking in kuna's (sukuna's is way too dirty), dry humping, drinking breast milk obv, not proofread (this is too long and i have an event tomorrow)

—a/n: i have officially lost it. is it obvious i have lost it? idk if this is the best or the worst thing you will ever read but this is very depraved and nasty. like...aaaaaaaaaahh okay i am normal. i put my big titties non existent breast milk into this so please read it all and i hope you enjoy.

𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

— satoru is the man who is always up for something new. especially, if it involves pleasing you because he's a good husband and that's good what husbands do. he knows how to pull out the naughty parts out of you, but he had to work his way up.

"I am just saying. It helps. Believe me," your husband was arguing with you.

"Cut it out, Toru. I am not letting you suck my boobs."

"But why?"

"Because it's gross and weird." The moment those words left your mouth, he audibly gasped.

"Did you just call our baby's food gross?" You rolled your eyes. He's always like this. It's not like you weren't curious of his reaction when he does taste you, you were just scared that he'd be disgusted. Plus the post pregnancy hormones are worst as they make you emotional over the silliest things.

"Please, baby? Just this one time. I'll be a good boy I promise." You hate when he addresses himself as if he's an angel. He is a mischievous devil inside. But rather than having him pester you for the rest of the night and ruin your hard earned sleep (since your baby's cries always wakes you up) You thought maybe let him and just get it over with...

"mmph ffhuck." His moans vibrated through your skin, "mhmm god ywo twaste shwo good." The moment he said that, all the insecurity left your body, and heat forming between your legs.

"Ngh—toru..." you felt so embarrassed—so dirty when his eyes locked with you. Your lashes fluttered and you looked away but you swore you could feel him smiling on your nipples. Your husband really digs out the emotions you never thought existed within you.

He was pressing them together, playing like he had just found a new toy. You had never seen so much amusement in those blue eyes as much as of now. Bright pink tongue lolling out to taste the squirting liquid when he squeezed both your breasts together.

"Feels good, right baby? ah!" *slurp* He wiped the dripping milk at the end of his lips with his tongue, and you couldn't process. You felt so wet. And he knew you very well. After all, you've been together for so many years.

"Lay down baby. I'll fuck you while I drink you." You never thought you'd ever hear that sentence but there it was.

𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈

— toji has always been an experienced man. he has definitely tried a lot of things. but there's always areas to expand knowledge and new things to learn. he wouldn't do anything that makes you uncomfortable but he knew the person he was marrying wasn't ordinary. you, deep down, were just very dirty like him.

You had your legs stretched on the sofa, upper body resting on your husband's lap. Since you guys had a baby, it was very rare for you rest. Being a parent is the best thing in the world but it also feels worse than a 9to5 sometimes. Today was a good day though. Your boy was sleeping soundly and you had some quality time to spend with each other. Well, it's hard to go on a date at this time, but you both were just happy to be in each other's presence.

Toji was mindlessly flipping through some channels after he got bored halfway through that one movie he was watching. His emerald eyes fell on your ipad screen where you were scrolling through what seemed like a baby product websites.

"I thought we had bought everything for little gumi." You looked up at him then back to the screen.

"Oh this isn't for gumi bear. This is for me. These are called breast shells."

"What? Show me." He took the ipad from you and carefully observed the product you were supposedly buying. "So what is this a fashion accessory for mommies now?"

"Hehehe," you giggled. "No, baby. My breast oversupplies sometimes and it ruins my dress. They prevent that." You watched him as he sat there in silence, poking his tongue inside his mouth. Within two seconds, he flipped you on the sofa, and gently climbed on you.

"Why are you buying that shitty thing when I am right here?"

"Toji, what do y—OH MY GOD!" he pulled out both your breast pretty quickly, all thanks to your maternity clothes. He knew you won't stop him. He knew you would get wet when he'd do that. And he was right on the money. He started sucking so hard, you felt...foreign. He had sucked them a hundred times before but watching him flick your nipples with his tongue and the milk trailing down, fusing with the tastebuds until it goes transparent and his adam's apple bobs when he gulps it. fuck.

Toji's obvious boner grinds against your heat as he suckled on those pretty tits. The wet patch on your panties were now staining his grey bottoms too.

"Overflowing down there too, mama? Hmph," he chuckled. You were to focused on the feeling of his lips on your nipples that you forgot to see his right hand moving down to cup your heat.

"Ngh—twoji," you mewled.

"Don't worry, baby. I'll take care of you." Thick fingers circled your wet clit, "Ya don't need those shells or whateva when i am right here." He is a great husband. He even saved you so much money that you were gonna spend on those silicones.

𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔

—suguru worships you. it isn't obvious but you can feel his devotion towards you. the way his droopy eyes lights up when they fall on you, or his ears turn red when you kiss him. he loves how you take him in, struggling a little at first because he is girthy and a bit long, but when he bottoms out, you finally exhale and relax your walls around him. holy shit. he loves it. but this time, something different struck his curiosity.

"fuck. you sure we can do this baby?" He asked.

"'s okay, sugu. doc said we had to wait like six weeks and it's been three months." You were so busy in your post pregnancy life that you barely got time for just each other. You hadn't even kissed properly in months. "plus," you reached for his cock, "i need you." Those last words came off as a whine. You needed him and who is he to deny you off your pleasure.

You were on top of him as you positioned his boner to your entrance. He watched as your cunt swallowed him. This time, not struggling as much. Thanks to dilation.

"anh! suguuu~ mhmm missed your cock." You moaned so beautifully, he found himself falling in love over and over again. Yet, something was different. Normally, his eyes would focus down on how you well you take him as you ride it, but today he had found something rather more interesting. Your big tits bumped against his face and he couldn't take his eyes of those nipples. Those glistening nipples. He could see droplets of milk settling and honestly, they looked so fucking tempting. He let his intrusive thoughts win as you felt a warm sensation on your boobs.

"haaa—fuck. sugu, mhmm—no, it's gross" He didn't reply. He didn't need to. Pretending he didn't hear that was just right. Why would you even think anything about you is gross. He would kiss the soil you walked on.

"so fucking sweet. my sweet girl." *sucksucksuck* "these are f'me too, right? these were made f'me. hmm...sweet *suck* fucking *suck* girl.

congratulations. you just unlocked his new kink.

𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎

—nanami is a gentke lover. we all know that. he is only mean in bed if you ask him too. that alone needs a lot of convincing because he is scared of hurting you. he is not too kinky but you can't say he's completely vanilla. he enjoys wrapping a tie around wrist as be eats you out. he also found himself getting hard when you called him "daddy." So yeah, he is a little kinky. But not in a million years Nanami Kento would've thought he would get hard watching you wipe the excess milk off your breasts.

"So i just put her down to sleep," you walked out of the baby room, with your left tit out, wiping it with a napkin. "What do you want for lunch—Kento?" He immediately broke the staring contest he was having with your boobs and looked at you.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Is everything alright? Is there something on my breasts?"

"Yes—I mean no. of course not." It was rare to hear panic in his voice which only made you mroe curious. You walked closer to him, hsi breath heavier than usual.

"What's wrong, Ken? Talk to me." shit shit shit. you were too close. he could feel your wet boobs rubbing against his cyan blue shirt. If you got any closer, you would loathe him for having a boner for such thing. He was ashamed of himself.

"Why are you looking away, baby? Do you not like me anymore?" Fuck. You're so stupid. Not like you? That man is in love with you so much. He cannot contain himself. You tried to get closer but he tripped on the foot of the couch and felk on it upright, and you on top of him.

oh.

OH.

You could feel it between your legs. You didn't even kiss him and it's not like you were seducing him earlier so you connected the dots pretty quickly on why he was hard.

"hmm hmm" you giggled. "is this what makes you hard you, ken? my lactating tits?"

"don't say it out loud, please." it was so fun seeing him all flustered. you adjusted yourself on top him as you thought of something very dirty.

"wanna taste? i know you're curious." he hesitated a bit, but a man like him can only go so high with his walls before he breaks them and let's his wife take control.

He started off with a few licks, testing his feet into the water. It was sweet with a hint of tanginess. The moment he felt it squirting a lot when he sucked, he fell in love. He acted like a kid who had just discovered magic. You chuckled between your heavy moans as you witnessed him trying to fit in your tits in his mouth as much as he can. You start grinding on him and it only makes him more desperate. He taps your thighs, a cue to pull your dress up and throw it in the floor. You watch as he hungrily latches his lips on your nipples quickly again. Your dress was not even off your arms yet. Nanami had discovered his obsession when he watched you squeeze you tits to squirt your milk on him.

𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀

—sukuna didn't even think it was possible for him to have a child as him being a curse and you being a human but here you were. he was in love with you. maybe his expression for love was different than others, but you felt it. be wasn't an embodiment of rage, but rather an overflowing confidence in his skills. That's where the cockiness came from. Existing for over a 1000 years, he thought he had experienced everything. Well...he was wrong.

"So...you just out this device on your chest and it gathers your milk?"

"Yes. It's called a "breast pump" and not a device," his vocabulary according to the new era was still weak but he was working on it.

When you detached the the vaccum of the breast pump from your boobs, Sukuna's eyes were fixated on them. He loved your tits. He had his fair share of biting and sucking on them till they were sore, but today they looked so plumped and so...succulent??

"What are you staring at? You want to drink it too or what?" You joked as you closed the lid of the bottle.

"Yes." You stared at him. Two minutes of complete shock snd silence.

"What?"

"What? You said if I want to drink it, and I answered."

"Yeah but—"

"Be a good wife, my little human. Good wives obey their husband's wishes." (Please let the feminist in you shut up for a sec and enjoy cuz i know he'd say smtg like this)

"Kuna...I don't know. It's nasty, y'know?"

"I think you're forgetting that I am a monster, baby. I ate you out during your those days of the month. This is less dirty." He yaps a lot someone shit him up before I die from embarrassment.

Sukuna laid you on the bed gently after getting you undressed. For the first time in so.many years, you were feeling shy again in front of him. It was quite an amusing sight to enjoy for him. He summoned a mouth on both his palm and licked your nipples. He wasn't sucking yet, but the hint of sweetness still laced his tastebuds.

"I am going to squeeze your breasts in my mouth now, okay?" Why did he feel the need to announce it? Weren't you already so flustered?

The tongues on his palm licked the skin of your tits before squeezing it when his mouth crashed against your nipples, spraying the milk. Sukuna sometimes forget you're a human. You're delicate unlike. The strong force of the suction made you whine and moan so loudly, it vibrated through the walls of the bedroom.

"mhmm I did not know my beloved wife enjoyed such depraved acts," he smirked when his thighs brushed against your bare pussy. you were dripping wet.

"Don't worry, little one. Let me please you. Hope you have pumped out enough in that bottle of yours. Because, I am going to milk you dry today."

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