#(and it's chilling to think about how they're /not/ really wrong actually)

[y010isaghost]

just watched tadc ep5, spoilers in tags because im going to explode if i dont talk about it at least a little

[nobodybetterlookatme]

I've never heard of emts working only at events? What's that like for you if you don't mind my asking?

Yeah, there are ambulance companies that staff certain events, but there's some event specific companies out there lmao. For me specifically, it's almost entirely college events, whether it's happening on a campus or not. It's not great, usually pretty boring, but it's better than being on an ambulance or in a hospital. We do get actual emergencies sometimes, but usually it's just getting drunk people to the tent or giving out water and bandaids lmao. Again, boring as fuck, but I chose this over working on a 911 rig, so that's on me 😔 if I'm being so real tho, other than my coworkers, the best part of the job is the food lmaoooo it's so good and all the food trucks/food booths give discounts or free food to us depending on the location and event. And there's almost always a ton of downtime, so I basically just get paid to sit there and vibe for the most part

[cantpickyourgenre]

I've seen a lot of "first date gone wrong shenanigans" but what about a "friend hang where everything goes so right, they're forced to call it a date" for them? Eddie buys Dodgers tickets for him and Chris. Chris says, "Dad, are you crazy?!?!?! I have three tests and two essays ALL due Friday. I do NOT have time for this" because Mr. I Puke Over the Stress and Pressure of Chess definitely cares about his grades. So, Eddie texts Buck and says, "I have an extra ticket, you in?" and Buck responds, "A night with the Diazes? Wouldn't miss it for the world" and Eddie says, "well. Actually. Just me. :(" and Buck goes, "I'll pencil you in then, if I must :)" But then Buck is driving to Eddie's because Eddie is going to drive them to the game, and he stops at the store first. To get Chris study snacks because he's trying to suck up to him post-Texas. The cashier is like, "here. Someone paid for these roses but then dramatically took a phone call with their girlfriend and said they no longer needed them. I think they broke up. They're yours now." So, Buck brings roses to Eddie who is like, "uhhhh, wow" all rosy (pun moderately intended) cheeked and Buck is like "yeah haha I got them for free, BUT they'll look so much better here!!!!!!!!" (they both miss him living there, but couldn't think of a logical reason for him to actually stay) And they go to a restaurant first, and the couple next to them gets engaged. Turns out to be like some rich LA couple, so they buy everyone in the restaurant a bottle of wine to celebrate. So, Buck and Eddie are just like chilling, sharing this bottle of wine, and the couple next to them is talking about their plans for the future and Buck and Eddie are eavesdropping and smiling at each other and feeling light and happy. Then they get to the game finally, and a couple asks them to take their photo, because tourists, and then they offer to return the favor and Buck and Eddie now have a picture of them in front of Dodger Stadium and Buck "jokingly" sets it as his phone background, which makes Eddie take a picture of Buck but super zoomed in on one of his eyes, and he "jokingly" makes that his phone wallpaper because they're being giddy and stupid and maybe a little 30-something men flirty. And the Dodgers win and neither of them care or notice. They decide to take a walk after, maybe at the beach, maybe in the neighborhood of South Bedford because Buck "misses the area". And when they're walking it just feels right to hold hands, and then maybe when they go to say goodnight it just feels right to share a first date sort of kiss. And they don't really talk about it, they just go on dates and start treating each other like boyfriends and all of this is fine with them until Maddie is like, "okay, wait, when did you guys actually start dating? Like when is the anniversary? Also how did this happen?" and Buck and Eddie are like shrugging, Buck is saying, "maybe that dodger game? maybe non-exclusively years ago? I guess I don't really know, just sort of happened." And Eddie is just like grinning, "See Buck, the universe doesn't scream, sometimes it just whispers."

[11cupids-tarot11]

★Your Future Spouse's Favorite Thing About Sex With Y♡U★

1 -> 3 ꒒ ০ ⌵ ୧ ♡

Cupid's Master-List

Cupid's YouTube Channel

My Kofi shop ♡ tips are appreciated, thank you guys so much!! Ily >< I still have two more available spots for my sale on Channeled Love Letters from your future spouse 18+ only, so check it out!

Want a private reading?

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

Pile 1- Nine of Cups, Knight of Swords, Nine of Coins, Seven of Coins, The Emperor, Knight of Wands, and Queen of Wands.

Hi my pile 1 pookies ><

So this person hesitated a lot and although I usually do my readings starting off with pile 1 they made me skip them and work on pile 2's and 3's first instead? I think this person is really nervous about something. Kind of in a cute anxious way like 😅 but I had to listen because no cards would come out no matter how hard or long I shuffled. What's with this person? 🥴😭

Alright so this person feels very watery and emotional about you, I think their very thing about sex with you is definitely when you're on top, taking control. I think they really like the intimacy of the positions like cow girl or reverse cowgirl, they really like when you straddle their lap in general even when you two aren't having sex and just chilling on the couch. They really like watching your face as you ride them, they like watching your body move against them, they have the perfect view of you they said lol how cute eek ><

So if you don't want kids, that's okay, it's just in this person's fantasies they want to fuck you til the point the two of you actually want to take the condom off or maybe you both forget you have to pull out because you're both so emersed in pleasure and fucking each other? They want to get you pregnant but in such a wild way, they might not actually be ready for a kid yet, but the idea of it excites them so much they're hoping that you feel the same way and also want to have their babies.

This won't resonate with everyone but I'm picking up on a situation where you guys could already be married or just have children together already, this person could really like making babies with you, the sex that leads up to all, all the love that went into it!!

I think this person really enjoys angry sex, when you're mad at them and they get off their high horse and apologize first and they love to make up with sex afterwards, this person kinda just caves cause they love you and don't really want you to stay mad at them.

This person also likes it when you surprise them with sex, they love foreplay, they really like it when you two draw out sex and don't give it to each other right away, lots of teasing and just being playful until maybe you or them starts begging the other to do something more. I think this is partially because they really like spending time with you, this is only one of their favorite ways to spend quality time with you.

So this person could be a coworker or you might meet through work, something about business here. This person right now is at the top of their career, likes to present themselves as an Emperor. This person could really want to move forward in the connection with you if you know of them already, they're brainstorming lol. They really like you, they see you as a queen in their eyes, you could present yourself very carefully, like you have this clean look about you and you're pretty I heard! You take good care of yourself and your person really loves that about you! They're bananas for you? They said some cute cheesey pick up line or maybe a punch line that I'm unfamiliar with? ><

♡ Messages from them: "The way I have treated you was wrong."

"You are so different from everyone around me."

"You've triggered me."

"I can't handle your love."

I hope you enjoyed this reading!!

Pile 2- Seven of Cups, Three of Cups, Knight of Swords, Two of Pentacles, Seven of Coins, The Empress, and Ace of Chalices.

Hi my pile 2's!

So right away I feel like there's a message here for someone that you might know of this person already, that won't be for everyone so if it doesn't fit let it fly 🪽

So your future spouse might like how different you are in the bedroom than you are irl. Like you could come off as very shy or just someone that's not very kinky and your future spouse might've perceived you as inexperienced but your person loves it when you surprise them, take the lead and I'm hearing ride them lol. They like it when you're more dominant in bed, you don't have to be the dom every time but your person loves it when you are, they'll love for you to ride them until your thighs give out lol.

This person loves close sex, sex that's very emotional and clingy to one another. I think this person will have an emotional attachment to you, like even if you don't get married in 20 years this person will love you literally the same, even if you decide to take a break, this person will still carry so much love and respect for you! They love showing you how much they care for you during sex, they'll hold you a lot, and take the lead in bed most of the time to show you, they're very emotional when it comes to you. You guys might like to have sex in bed a lot, during the day, first waking up, because your person loves being close to you. I feel like they might like it when you lay there a lot while they give you oral, they love it when you're a pillow princess and they can bring you so much pleasure.

This person loves rough sex with you, the kinda sex the two of you can't keep your hands off each other and just can't get enough. They'll still be mindful and gentle with you, they love it when you communicate your needs and let them know what you want, they'll want to indulge in your kinks and make your fantasies happen, this person is safe to explore with. I think they might like to spank you if you're open to the idea! They're not super into bdsm but they're not vanilla either, I feel like this person actually wants to see how freaky you can get and they'd just match your freak so the sex will be better and better, it's never the same really, this person can be soft one night and super rough and wild another.

This person could love missionary a lot, bringing you to an orgasm in missionary so they can see your face, they could just love seeing you orgasm in general, in pure bliss beneath them, it's like it turns them on knowing they're the ones making you feel good. This person also likes that you're an Empress, you can stand your own ground with or without a significant other, they could love to watch you masturbate. I think this person loves chasing after you, it could turn them on lol! They love the idea of pleasing you, impressing you. They really want you lol how cute.

♡ Messages from them: "I know that we have a soul connection."

"I fantasize about you."

"They will never compare to you."

"You deserve better than them."

I hope you enjoyed this reading!!

Pile 3- Four of Pentacles, King of Pentacles, Queen of Pentacles, The Lovers, Three of swords, Page of Coins, and Three of Cups.

Hi pile 3!

So right away I heard a funny little message that this person actually likes it when you yell at them, they said it in a hushed way so I feel like this person doesn't want you to actually know that 😭 lol, this person will do all kinds of things just to see you a bit angry and frustrated with them just because they find it hot? Kinda sadistic if you ask me 🥴

Your future spouse is kind of a wild card, but you might be too. I think you wouldn't imagine in a million years to settle down with this person because they always feel like they're on the move and really hard to stay in one place because they're constantly thinking of other things to do, they're very work oriented or something but I feel like at first they might not pay much attention to the relationship, they might even go as far as seeing other people but this is only in the beginning of the relationship obviously, this person will feel very drawn to you and will feel like you're they're missing puzzle piece, suddenly they don't have to be on the move anymore because no one is as interesting as you to them, you'll fill their senses I'm hearing! They'll just suddenly be so enamored with you.

I think when the two of you are intimate this person will become selfish, they'll only want you to come to them for everything, they'll really want to be your knight in shining armor, even during sex, this person will be all touchy and very sensual, they like having passionate sex with you, even if they are usually rougher you've made this person want to be all soft with you, maybe not during the whole time, but this person will definitely slow down suddenly and start giving you slower and deeper strokes, they love intimacy with you and just want to savor the moment and make sure the both of you will remember it, they want you coming back to them for more and only them. Even if this connection starts as friends with benefits this person would slowly come to hate the title, and realize they're scared of you choosing someone else over them because the title isn't permanent enough.

This person could really want to rip the clothes off you, they could rip your underwear right off you and it might surprise you. This person really loves your breasts, regardless of size they really like to suck on your nipples.

This person likes when you let down your guards for them, it could be a flex for them that they actually get to touch you in a way that this person admires you a lot and in their head they're yelling at themselves like "omg I can't believe I get to sleep with THEM, THEY'RE ACTUALLY ALLOWING ME TO???848&(_(_(&!'(&(!_(" This person thinks you're adorable, they just adore you! You could catch them staring at you a lot, like a puppy with big ol puppy dog eyes, it's the sweetest thing ever.

Even if you don't like this person the first time around or something happens that you two decide to break it off, this person would try really hard to come back around, I heard they love you even after you break their heart.

With the Page of Coins I feel like this person is actively working on the things in their life right now, all the things they want to get done they're getting done, they might be a student and they could be focused on studying a lot right now as well, but I feel like this person can't wait for the day this all pays off and they can finally reconnect with not only themselves but with friends as well, they could be in a moment of isolation right now because they're so busy studying or working.

They feel sad and lonely and their favorite thing about sex with you is being with you, they want emotional and healing sex with you, just to be close and feel the warmth of you, something about not feeling as lonely anymore with the comfort of you. :(

♡ Messages from them: "I feel lonely."

"I don't want to be alone."

"Emotions overwhelm me."

"I am better with my mind than my heart."

I hope you enjoyed this reading!!

[eiightysixbaby]

eat your heart out

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

in which eddie masters valentine’s day through the art of eating pussy

cw: 18+ ONLY — SMUT oral (f receiving)

a/n: an early valentine from me to all of u. mwah mwah hope u enjoy ❤️

Eddie Munson doesn't really know what to do when it comes to Valentine's Day.

It's not like he's an idiot; he understands that typically a romantic dinner or a bouquet of flowers and some chocolates are the perfect show of appreciation and affection.

But those things are typically reserved for your girlfriend, and you're not his girlfriend.

But you're also, like, not not his girlfriend.

Eddie doesn't really know what you are, and that's the issue. It started off with you guys just hooking up. Late nights in his van parked behind the school or in a dark part of some neighborhood. Quickies in the bathroom during a break in Hellfire sessions. But it's slowly started to morph into... something else? Eddie isn't one hundred percent sure, but he's noticed that you come over more often, and you don't just want to jump his bones and leave.

Sometimes you guys don't even fuck anymore. Sometimes you invite him over just to watch movies, or he'll ask you to go for a drive with him. You hold his hand under the table when you go out to Benny's diner with the friend group, and Steve keeps waggling his eyebrows at him suggestively every time he catches you two sitting extremely close to each other. Which just makes Eddie blush like a loser.

And, every time you two are about to part ways, you look like you really want to kiss him before he goes.

And sure, you guys have kissed before. He's not about to hook up with you without at least kissing you stupid first. But this is different. You've been looking at him like you just want to kiss him, with nothing to come afterwards.

It all makes him sweat if he thinks about it for too long.

So for now, in the midst of his anxious unwillingness to ask you the horrifying 'What are we?', he's simply decided to show his appreciation for you on Valentine's Day with the one thing he's certain you'll love. He can deal with his feelings and stuff, later.

Your hand fists its way into his hair, fingers gripping his unruly curls like they're the only thing still tethering you to earth. His knees press into the worn carpeting of the trailer, his mouth latched to your cunt while his hands keep the fabric of your skirt rucked up at your waist.

You’re standing with your back pressed against the kitchen counter, your sneakers still on. He barely gave you a moment to settle yourself upon arrival before he was on you like a bad rash.

What can he say? When it all comes down to it, he’s a simple man, and you’re his favorite meal.

“Eddie,” you sigh, tilting your head back in bliss.

His tongue swipes its way through your folds before finding your clit and sucking on it. He can feel your body tremble, your knees nearly buckling with the overwhelming sense of pleasure.

His big brown eyes chance a glance up at you, at the exact moment you’re looking down at him. Your lips part in a moan, his tongue flicking rapidly at your clit, though he’s not sure if it’s that or the eye contact that forced the sound from you.

He’s guessing the latter, because something in your gaze feels different. The entire moment feels different.

Before, being intimate with you felt reckless, hot. Now it’s like he’s spilling every word he hasn’t said to you into the space between your thighs, hoping you’ll read his secret code. Hoping desperately that he’s not seeing this wrong, that you actually do like him as much as he realizes he likes you.

He needs to chill before he whispers an I love you right here on his knees.

He breaks your gaze after a moment or two, letting his eyes fall closed once more. He can taste how wet you are, he’s lapping up your arousal with every swipe of his tongue, and he honestly would kind of be okay with dying right here. His face is completely buried in you, nose bumping your clit, tongue on a mission to be as deep inside of you as possible.

You let your hips buck, nearly grinding on his face as he licks and sucks and bites, his ringed fingers squeezing the meat of your ass now.

“Eddie, ohmygod,” you cry, your white knuckle grip on the countertop keeping you from collapsing.

“What is it, baby?” he asks sweetly, kitten licking your sensitive bud before taking it between his lips and sucking.

That’s another thing, he’s started calling you all of these pet names lately. And the more he does it, the more he finds he doesn’t want to stop. He might actually be physically incapable of stopping.

“Feels so good, I—” you gasp at the sudden intrusion of two of his fingers. “I fucking love you,” you rasp out, your body reaching its peak at the exact moment the words escape you.

Eddie’s eyes shoot up to look at you, going impossibly wide. Yet he doesn’t stop what he’s doing, he brings you fully through your high until you’re shaking all over. Your words did nothing but spur him on, more determined than ever to bring you crashing down around him.

Only once you’ve come down do you seem to process what you said, and for a minute all you can do is stare at each other.

“Eddie, I—” you scramble, but he’s quicker.

“No. Don’t backtrack. Don’t do that,” he says, still on his knees before you. Still tasting you on his lips, still feeling you beneath his fingertips.

He rises to his feet, hooking a finger under your chin. You’re giving him that look again. The one that makes it seem like you want to kiss him more than you want to breathe.

And so he gives in. Lips smashing to yours, in a completely different context than any of the times before. He hopes you can feel everything he feels just through this kiss. Hopes he’s getting his point across.

The way you pull him flush up against you to deepen the kiss gives him the idea that his point was received.

Eddie Munson is great at this whole Valentine’s Day thing.

[just-jordie-things]

headcanon request: how would the jjk guys react if someone's trying to flirt with them but they're already in a relationship with their s/o?

YES i love some light jealousy teehee ___

GOJO SATORU

has no chill if someone's flirting with him. or worse, he thinks someone's flirting with him, but they're just taking his order, or letting him know his shoe is untied.

he's literally "I'M MARRIED"

(for the untied shoe one, he definitely trips when he runs off)

he's so annoying abt it fr. always throwing "i have a wife" (even long before you're married) around even when unnecessary

and ppl do flirt with him, he's gojo, but sometimes... he's just a lot.

even if someone looks at him too long, he's wrapping his arm around you and loudly announcing "in front of my wife? you're lucky i'm holding her back!"

and you're just standing there bewildered with the box of cereal you were about to toss into the cart and wondering who the hell he's talking to- and when the hell did he propose??

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI

for the most part he doesn't really notice when someone's flirting with him. i think it would take some very obvious hints.

so say someone is really trying to get him to catch on, pulling all the stops- fluttering eyelashes, unnecessary touching, one too many comments about his eyes, and finally, slipping a piece of paper into his hand with their phone number.

megumi can accidentally be a little cold.

he scowls at the phone number before crumpling the paper and dropping it.

"i don't want that," he's completely expressionless when he speaks, and honestly, the flirt-er is lucky he said anything at all rather than straight up walking away. "i have a girlfriend"

and then he walks away.

and when he meets up with you again he's a little more affectionate than usual, holding you a little longer, pulling you closer when you settle on the couch or bed or wherever, kissing you a few extra times for good measure.

don't get him wrong, it's not out of guilt or anything. he just wants you to know that he thinks of you when you're apart, and that he appreciates and loves you to death. nothing could ever change that.

ITADORI YUUJI

i don't often add him to my brainrot posts but i SHOULD and i had the most brilliant thought for him specifically

if he's getting hit on, he'll shut it down casually enough, and just blatantly tell them they're not his type.

and then he'll just start listing everything about you. and lover boy is BABBLING ok, no one could shut him up

he's describing your hair your eyes your nose your hands your style- and once he gets thru the physical stuff, it gets random

he's talking about your hobbies, your weird interests or collections, how sometimes you're a bad driver but you try your best lmfao he gets on such a tangent i don't think he'd even realize his tactic for defusing the flirting is just confusing the other person to the point of no longer wanting to give him their number

and once he's done with his dreamy little speech, he just goes "like my partner!!" all excited and bubbly

he's always rushing off to meet up with you then, having got himself so eager to be around you some more

OKKOTSU YUUTA

he's polite, but firm. he can also be a little quick to say he's taken, but it's only because he wants to let people down easy!

he's very kind when urning down phone numbers or flirty advances, always giving a gentle smile and saying no thank you, or actually i have a girlfriend. and he never apologizes when he says the second one, but that doesn't mean he's cruel! he's just thoughtful and respectful of you!

yuuta's a total gentleman.

but. god forbid. if he gets one of those nasty ppl that pull the "your girlfriend doesn't have to know" bullshit. oh boy. he does not handle that well.

toxic!yuuta jumps out a little!!

for as polite as he can be, he can get nasty when provoked just right, and someone disrespecting you? his beloved?

first it's a lecture- how dare you suggest such a thing? do you often try to break up people's perfect love lives?

then it's standing up for your honor- do you know how wonderful and lovely my partner is? you couldn't even understand the lengths that their radiance extends to. this part usually gets a little messy. he can get carried away when talking about you.

and lastly, he gets personal. deeply. personal. if they're having a not-so-great hair day, or if their attempts at slipping him their number were particularly weak, he's pouncing on that. he sniffs out weakness like a goddamn Chivalrous Boyfriend Bloodhound and sinking his claws in. i think yuuta could be really mean if he wanted to.

but that's kinda hot tho

INUMAKI TOGE

definitely the funniest of all of them. bcuz if he's getting hit on, he kinda just... stands there.

._.

CAUSE HE LITERALLY CANT SAY ANYTHING ???

sure, he could play it off like he doesn't understand what they're saying, or even type a little note in his phone saying he has a partner... but...

toge definitely prefers to stand there, completely blank faced, and stretch out the discomfort as long as possible.

sometimes people just scowl and walk away, finding it rude

one time tho someone actually started tearing up and completely ran away

(you came back just as it happened, an ice cream cone in each hand and a confused look on your face. but there's no way your sweet, mute boyfriend made a person cry, right?)

[nanamiskentos]

going to a cafe with the jujutsu kaisen men a/n: (based on irl experience with a wide variety of subpar men) 😭 gojo's order being my order...aurkay!

gojo — def the type to walk in and push his sunglasses down to check out the place. his order def goes something like a venti caramel macchiato with almond milk, two pumps of vanilla and two pumps of hazelnut, and a little caramel swirl at the top. smiles and is friendly to all the baristas, he's never rude to workers. tells the barista is gojo, with an o. whoever's unfortunate enough to be stuck next to him is doomed to hear him wax poetic about how coffee beans are the soul of the earth, and its 'really deep, you wouldn't get it lol'. if you order a black coffee, he'll ask if everything is okay at home. can't leave the cafe without ordering a $8.00 sweet treat and then wondering why all his purchases are adding up

geto — walks in as if he's a regular and tells the barista that he'll have his 'regular'. the barista has never seen him before. probably orders a flat white, double shot of espresso, no foam. he always says he doesn't have to pretend to like foam because he's chill like that. he'll ask for the wifi password, but only so he can show off how good he is at working in a cafe, but his ass is on coolmathsgames. will nod and pretend to care about whatever you're saying but he's still thinking about coolmathsgames. will also drop random metaphors like 'life is just like coffee. you either take it strong or with sugar.' you tell him to save the bad metaphors for his cult.

nanami — doesn't wander or hesitate when he enters the cafe. checks his watch every five minute. orders a black coffe, medium, and adds one packet of sugar. he's pretty good at ordering what he wants efficiently, and it leaves even the barista worried. he's here to relax so don't ask him any unnecessary question because this man needs a break. actually enjoys eavesdropping on people's conversations, and ends up tilting his angle to snoop on gossip better. avoids small talk like its another curse. you can't really make him react too much in a cafe, unless you spill coffee on his freshly pressed suit. will be passive aggressive and suggest that the cafe chooses better music. likes a good, dependable pastry. apple danishes are a favourite.

sukuna — prefers tea, without debate. but still orders relatively normal things. likes a good latte with chocolate syrup. but the king of curses kinda has to look cool, so he powers his way through a black coffee, with no sugar or milk. you swear his eyes are tearing up as he pretends to like it. after every sip of coffee, he sighs really loudly and it gets a bit annoying. even after you ask what's wrong, he says its nothing and continues to sigh loudly. nanami may be the one who eavesdrops, but sukuna is the one who interferes. will turn around in his chair to give unsolicited advice, but he genuinely thinks he's being helpful by telling schoolgirls to buy cleavers to chop their friends' hands off. is mildly offended when they move tables and give him weird looks. passes loud comments on other people and tells couples when he thinks they will breakup. attempts to connect to the wifi three times before threatening to burn the router.

toji — the barista asks if he wants a pastry with his drink and he asks 'do i look like the type of man to eat a muffin?' but if they're free, he'll take two. sits with his back to the wall like he's in a mob movie. god help anyone who sits too close to him, he really just doesn't trust anyone in his personal space. doesn't even acknowledge the existence of others until he's had at least three sips of his coffee. you could tell him his house is on fire, and he’d just mutter that he can't do anything about it now. types the wifi password on his phone with one finger like a caveman. tells parents to 'control their spawn' but entertains kids with coin tricks when no-one is looking. sometimes struggles to fit the lid on his go-to cup, and refuses to asks for help. wrestles with it for five minutes, getting increasingly annoyed before rushing out the door.

choso (this one is dedicated to pookie @creamflix) — frowns at the menu like it's written in an ancient language, like wtf is affogato. if someone behinds him coughs, he scolds them and says he's going as fast as he cans. spends 10 minutes deciding and then panics at the last second, tells the barista to give him whatever. if the barista asks any follow up questions (like milk preferences) he genuinely short circuits, "what kinds of milk are there?" he's genuinely baffled that there are options beyond 'cow.' he'll point at a pastry and ask what's in it. the barista explains and he replies with 'okay i trust you.' always ends up picking a wobbly table by accident and spends 15 minutes trying to fix it with folded napkins. if someone asks to share his table, he'll look like they just asked for his kidneys. if someone asks for his opinion on his pastry, its always a dumbass cryptic answer like 'its interesting.' uses his phone on full brightness and everyone can see him look up 'how to pronounce cafe au lait.' cleans up after himself because he's nice like that. if the staff get his order wrong, he never says anything even if it tastes like dirt.

[1x1x1x1x1x1x1x1]

What if the reader is a TV host? Like full on 'WELCOME TO THE SHOW' with bright luminous lights in the background kinda guy. you can take the liberty on whether they are a desperate attention seeker or a creepy Mandela catalogue kinda host. But it's just the reader is a big yapper with bright attention seeking colors.

I'm thinking the reader doesn't really know if their killing cuz their desensitized to the show biz and just think everything 'all part of the network folk!'

They might also be one of the worst killers because they are more used to being an omnipotent narrator then an in action kinda host.

I just think it be really funny if reader hits the survivors with the SPARKLE ON! IT'S WEDNESDAY! DON'T FORGET TO BE YOURSELF!!!

HEEEEEELP ME THIS IS SUCH A PEAK IDEA,, wow look at me doing my first both survivors and killers,, this is why this took so long btw 😭😭

ANYWAYS I KINDA MESSED UL THE BANNER SINCE YOU SAID BRIGHT COLORS BUT ILL WRITE FOR BRIGHT COLORS COUGH

defo ooc an typos but idrc 😭

coughs ENJOY

Forsaken Characters × TV Host!Killer!Reader

Noob

well,, they are definetly scared of you, like they are of everyone else that has a job to get rid of them all.

They're not wrong for it too, better be safe than sorry!

Although you are the killer that has probably caused the least harm to them, since your,, killing,, skills are a bit rusty

You randomly pause, come up to them, and ask random questions. Like you're still on stage.

Most of the time, they don't answer, quickly drinking a cola and running away as fast as they can.

Elliot

Hes,, pretty neutral about you.

Not really worried about you being a threat, since most of the time he can easily loop you.

You definitely greet him with something along the lines of "Hello pizza boy !!" With an almost mocking tone, and to be completely honest, he doesnt even mind at this point.

When you randomly ask him questions, most of the time he just ignores you and runs away to heal Chance (again,,)

But there are times when he does actually answer, just for giggles (and he has been wondering what happens if he does)

When he answers correctly, you play loud correct buzzer noises and money sounds which are REALLY obnoxious btw,,, and for the rest of the round, you mostly spare him.

And when he answers wrong,, well,, i think you know how that goes,

Shedletsky

Ah,, its not like he can complain.

It is refreshing to NOT have the creation of hatred targetting him the whole round and making his life a living hell.

And he does find your persona amusing

Probably one of the people that mostly plays along with your stupid gameshow questions, just for shits and giggles

So most of the time when he sees you are the killer, he just lets out a sigh of relief

Also youre easy to stun,,,,, but shhh we dont talk about that!!!

Guest 1337

Its all the same to him.

Wether or not you spare him, he WILL be stunning you and he WILL be protecting his team.

Deadass refuses to answer your questions. Will not be caught interacting with a killer that makes his life here a pain. (like all killers)

Although, you are one of the hardest killers to block-bait. You can pretty much tell right away trough his facade that he just wants to get that punch in. Hes not using that medkit since you didnt hit him. even once.

He doesnt like you. Why should he?? You play games with the minds of some survivors since they see you as 'chill'. He does not like this.

Two Time

i dont think anyone can really talk normaly to this insane motherfucker,

everytime you ask them any question 'for your gameshow' they just laugh manically before STABBING YOU.

Then running away and talking about some "praise the spawn" shit,,

i think the dislike most likely goes both ways

Chance

You and the gambler get along quite well, actually!!

Well, as much as a killer and survivor can even get along.

Everytime youre the killer hes the first to run to you, hoping you ask him one of those questions and he can just chill for the rest of the round if they gets it right.

Probably the one who answers you the most, and you have to respect the gambling,, some of your other tv shows basically involve it too, so yeah

I think they actually watched one of your tv shows a while back,,, so he probably recognized you,

007n7

He actually watched your TV shows and Gameshows before all of this (like the dad he is,,,,) so he recognized you pretty quickly

He was quite shocked when you first randomly decided to stop the chase and ask him a question.

He paused for like almost a minute, completely lost in thought before you went "Time is TICKING!!!" with your robotic voice

And then he answered, wrong.

Which meant he was getting locked onto, (he died like 30 seconds later)

Although, the next time you asked him again, he answered correctly!! And you just,, basically left him. Alone with his thoughts.

Well, he cant really complain, a break is nice once in a while

Builderman

Hes Builderman. The CEO of roblox. Of course he knew you.

Actually, he made a guest apperance in one of your episodes!! So he already knew you (well, kinda) before this.

And he cant really complain that much about your whole 'asking gameshow questions' thing, since most of the time he gets them right, and can help the teammates in peace.

Even though he doesnt always answer, when he does, he gets most of them right. Probably because more than a half of them are about Roblox and its history.

You like to call him your "NUMBER ONE!!!" and he has gotten MULTIPLE dirty looks for that, since some survivors now think you guys had something going on,, not good for his image and reputation. So he was pretty quick to dismiss those rumors,

Dusekkar

DUSEKKAAAAARRRRR🤤🤤

Well, he certaintly thinks youre intresting.

Not only are you asking him easy questions, but you will also spare him if he answers correctly? He cant really complain, huh

Youre quite persistent on asking him a lot of questions, 'gameshow' questions. Which are a piece of cake to him, although sometimes you cant really understand his phrasing quite well,, You just display a blue question mark on the top of your head out of nowhere, hoping that he can redeem himself before you decide that you dont want that answer to pass.

You also call him some stupid 'charmer' nicknames, something along the lines of "Pumpkin!!!!" or even sometimes Matt (since you heard Shedletsky call him that once,)

Hes actually quite shocked, even a bit flustered when he hears you call him by some names that you made up on the spot, or even his real name,

Taph

This fella,

He tries SO HARD to answer your questions correctly in his emoji speech ((i know a lot of ppl heacanon him as a sign language user but just for this fic im using his canon speech)), but you cant really understand it, so he never passes in your eyes,

He does like messing with you!! Youre probably one of the killers that falls for his traps the most out of everyone else

((i dont have anything else to say for him,,,,

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·Killers.

1×1×1×1｡𖦹°‧

You REALLY piss her off,

Bright flashing lights, loud sounds, and that fuckass voice of yours thats always cheerful,, it just gets on his nerves.

And the way you KEEP ASKING THOSE QUESTIONS. They rarely even answer, and she REALLY wants to get rid of you,

But he does entertain your little 'gameshow' vision sometimes, and most of the time, they answer correctly (they are a hater,, not an idiot,,)

Instead of you letting her go and not killing them like the survivors, the killers get little stupid prizes for answering correctly, and they dont really suffer any consequences if they answer wrong.

The prizes range from a stupid bright glittery pen with your face plastered over it, to just random stickers.

1x1x1x1 always keeps the little trinkets in a drawer in his cabin,, what?? you never know when they can come in handy!!

John Doe

as much as you try and try, and try and try and try to get him to even say one word when you ask him questions,, he just doesnt.

Probably cause he geniuenly cant,, the bright flashing lights of your design and your loud robotic voice,, he cant really comprehend what youre asking him in due time,,

Although, hes pretty neutral towards you, you even gave him a pen out of pure pity for him,,

Noli-.ᐟ.ᐟ

You guys actually match eachothers freak really well,,

Both of you guys are loud and obnoxious, bright lights,, and 'annoying' to the others

Although he actually likes your little gameshow host persona!!

The first time you were in a round, he was watching intently, and everytime you asked a question he would immediately stand up and scream the correct answer like a dad watching football,

He really likes answering your questions too!! It keeps him entertained at least,, And the little trinkets!!!!!

You guys actually get along quite well,

Mafioso🂱⚔

He doesnt like you.

Youre loud, bright lights, and obnoxious, while hes calm and reserved,, quite the opposites.

Although HE doesnt like you, his men definetly do!!

Most of the time they all meet up in the cabin next to the table for, basically a competetive game of your questions,

They get a good laugh out of it, and you love to entertain!

The only problem is how loud it gets, instead of big red buttons to signal who answers the question first, they basically just slam their fists on the table,

Mafioso has scolded them for it a bunch of times, but he wont stop them

Its only fair that they get a bit of a break in this hell hole once in a while

And hell, you keep them off his back for once, so maybe just maybe your not that bad after all,,,

im so done with tgis 💔💔

the writing got worse and worse as i went on because i was TIRED 💔

tgis was fun tho,, (also i had to rewrite everything in the killers part because i closed the fucking window,,

also quick question,,

would you guys like me to write for the Spectre too? 😭😭 As in like the headcanons and he would be in the last part of the killers kinda

okay bye bye

[daydreamcloudshiding]

#7 Astrology

The biggest red flag in relationship (any relationship) in my personal life would be mercury square mercury. Talking to people with their mercury squares mine is like trying to make a cow understand human language. They don't seem to get the state of my mental health, my thinking pattern, whatever comes out of my mouth, they will simply misunderstand it and it's not good for my mental health. I tried, really tried and my patience can only go so far for these people. No matter how much you love them, or how much they love you, we're never on the same page

Scorpio Mercury have that jealousy about them that ruined relationships. This isn't just about them suspecting that their partner cheated, but literally, they constantly thought that you compete with them. Especially if they have low self-esteem. In my own experience, I talked to a girl about some hobbies that I like by showing some stuff. We talked about this along with many friends, and we kind of take turns talking about our own thing. And this is the kind of conversations that I do, even with my Leo friends (the signs that have the reputation of being arrogant and competitive) but instead it's this girl with Scorpio Mercury who said that the reason I talk about this is to show off that I have better things than her. The air in the room gets pretty awkward after that and we ended up assuring her that no, she's pretty great and so good at this and that. She ended up re-direct the convos to other things by saying that we just keep lying to her by saying that she's good at this and that and that we shouldn't sugarcoated things to her and that she hates liars. Me and our other friends be like what???? I'm pretty sure that not everyone has this kind of experience with Scorpio Mercury but this is my experience, and this kind of thing happened with some family members with this placement too. They can get hostile pretty quick when they get jealous and it's tiring when undeveloped. Oftentimes, the kind of things that people here talk about how intuitive they are simply means they just being paranoid. The most intuitive people I know are people with water signs in their chart, but definitely not Scorpio Mercury people

People with a lot of air placement in their natal chart are way too chill to the point of being a pushover. You know one of those people who just let people do whatever they want? That's not water signs, that air signs. From outside point of view I gotta question whether they're just REALLY NICE or just stupid or just... don't care like they're numb as f*ck. I'm sorry ya'll lol. But once they stand up for themselves, there'll be no tears or anger or pain. They get sh*t done. They will involve doctors, legal teams, etc anything that are necessary. They also move on quickly, or seems like it... people should be wary of them

I always feel like Virgos are insecure as f*ck. The reason why they are so perfectionistic is because they are overcompensating.

Also the way Virgos try to do "good", is sometimes too ideal and too "by the book". Ya'll better pray they don't happen to read the wrong book lol. They are also too focus on these things and tend to dedicate themselves to perfection of these things that when the time comes for them to actually do good or help people, they just... don't. I rarely met Virgos who are "helpful" like people says

This is precisely why Virgos are usually a good model student, but once they graduate and work, what they do is just... do what the boss say, or do what the office "playbook" says

But on another note, this is make Virgos an easy prey for those who are controlling. They usually don't notice this, though. But thinking of one of my friend who is a Virgo and dated her own boss who is really old because he keeps complimenting her of being the best worker there, with the best grades, the best work ethics, etc and he promised her a good jobs (she did get the job though) but what she don't realize is that she was barely 19 when they first got together while he's in his 50s, he trashed her reputation, and make her work long hours even on weekends with no days off. Basically he controls her time, where she can go, what she can wear, who she can talk to, no wearing make up, etc

People with retrograde Juno will have a hard time getting married or will experience divorce in their life, at least once. This is because there's a lot of heal in regards to marriage or just a really important lesson they need to learn regarding marriage. They longed to have a married life but this is usually don't succeed in this area. They need to heal about their own perception of marriage or stop letting it define their entire existence

Moon square/opposite in synastry, especially in fixed signs are so fiercely loyal to each other. Like no matter what people say, what others do, they will hold onto each other and be so crazily stubborn about each other. I'm not sure if I've said this before but they might clash sometimes but no matter what they are so loyal to each other it hurts. It's like you try to raise one thing about this couple and they will be there in your face defending their love/relationship

Pluto in your chart doesn't just affect you, but affect whatever particular house that is in there and it's attained to change and transformations. For example, Pluto in 8th house isn't always about how sex or sexuality or secrets transform you, but you bring about change in others through these things. Perhaps sex with you is transformative to others or you hold certain secrets that may change lives. Pluto in 11th house isn't just about how your friends or how friendships in general help with your growth, but befriending you will bring about change in others through your friends witnessing your change/transformations

[poofmagictrick]

Thoughts on TADC episode 5

ITS FINALLY HERE. This episode was genuinely soooo worth the wait!! Before the episode drop, I've been theorizing and commenting on what this episode will lead to. So glad to see that goose's writing exceeded my expectations, she did a great job developing mainly jax and ragatha this episode. On that note, THEIR DYNAMIC IS STARTING TO REVEAL ITSELF AND I WAS SO HAPPY WATCHING IT UNFOLD AND DEVELOP THROUGHOUT THE EPISODE AAA

In the episode, Jax seems to warm up to Pomni throughout the whole episode which a lot of people including myself were spot on about that. Jax starts to chill around Pomni and make jokes, not being the usual mean jerk everyone thinks of him as.

Although that adventure was shorter compared to the other adventures cramped together, it stands out so much in terms of character moments for Jax and Ragatha. When Ragatha whispers "not anymore," and the way jax looks at her like she had the audacity to talk.

I theorise that next episode they'll possibly explain what happened to Jax's friend. Not sure if during the intermission time, the door Jax stops at of an ex circus member was possibly his close friends but I can't wait until we get told more about that!!

Anyways, another scene that stood out to me was the bar scene (fooled us all into thinking it was a mafia adventure lol). Where Jax ACTUALLY apologises to Pomni of all members for what he did today. Pomni is taken aback by this similarly to episode 4, the Spudsy's adventure, where it was the 1st time we see them talk 1on1. (Can I just mention I'm so glad we get to see more of Zooble too tho?!? They're able to do something that they once enjoyed in their past life too!). Now the highlight and I'm sure everyone and their mother will be talking about this is the massive lore drop of each of the circus members past lives before being transported to the circus! Except for Kinger and Gangle who we've known have mentioned briefly about what they've done. But I mainly wanna focus on Ragatha's past life and how it ties into her general behavior.

Ok bear with me here cuz I'm gonna ramble endlessly about it lol. So Ragatha mentions having grown up in a financially stable family who owned livestock (which could be a huge farm that's well known which may be why they're fairly well-off). The moment she started to talk about her mother who verbally abused her and guilt tripped her back then, her body starts to tense up. God knows what kind of abuse besides verbal did her mother do to her as it's shown she clearly didn't enjoy remembering it all and even the other circus members including who jax looked really concerned for her.

I related to her so much in this scene because of this, when you grow up with a parent who guilt tripped, verbally abused you, one of the many ways you would cope is to vow to never be like that and be nothing like what your parents were before. So you try to be the opposite of them. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to be diff and prevent yourself from becoming just like your parents, but being nice may not always make you genuine to other people. It's just like what Jax and Gangle have mentioned about Ragatha that she tries too hard to hard and when you tell people they're loved and what not it loses its meaning. When you keep saying these things to people its hard to tell if they're being genuine.

They're probably the only ones to have been the most aware of this coping mechanism that Ragatha uses as a way to cope with the trauma of her verbally abusive mother. Ragatha doesn't know how to connect with the other circus members, so to do that she tries to be nice by helping them, encouraging and many other things. It's kinda like she's almost giving them so much of her love she's afraid they'll stop talking to her the moment she stops being all nice and loving to them. In fact, later in the softball adventure when Ragatha gets to sit together with pomni and have the 3rd (?) heart to heart talk scene in thsi entire episode, Pomni tells her "It's ok to let out your negative emotions sometimes and we all kinda have to be a jerk sometimes."

But Ragatha doesn't want to be like that because it likely just makes her be reminded of her mother back in her past life.

People like Ragatha who tend to be nice to everyone ends up being extremely lonely despite that. But it's kinda sad because ultimately she just wants someone to be close with and connect with someone. She tried with Gangle, possibly Zooble, Jax even though she hates him, Kinger and now Pomni. One could probably say Pomni is aware that Ragatha is tryna warm up to her and get her to be her friend but the way Ragatha and Pomni interact is pretty distant. While Jax the whole epsiode laughs with Pomni and even opens up with her.

I'm gonna credit @zoshizick for this point they made where they theorise Jax and Ragatha will be fighting for Pomni like a toy they want so badly. Not in a romantic sense, but both R&J are incredibly lonely people and just want someone to talk to. That's when the new girl (Pomni) comes into the picture and they both are so desperate to win her attention. For instance in the bar scene when Jax grabs Pomni and says obnoxiously "WOW, the first steps of a budding friendship. Right Ragatha." As if to purposefully annoy her and of course she looks at him like she's about to explode.

I wanna add on and say that Jax and Ragatha know that they hate each other but don't want to admit that they are both two sides of the same coin. It makes their character all the more deeper and complex cuz really who would they both fight for to be their friend? Zooble? She's distant with everybody except for Gangle but they're both already friends so nope. Gangle? She gets bullied by Jax and doesn't like him and she's kinda friends with Ragatha? but she's with her likely because rags defends Gangle from Jax. Kinger? Jax isn't that close with Kinger and just thinks of him as weird and Ragatha is fine with him but wouldn't seem like someone she would open up to like Kinger doesn't remember what they were even talking about 1 second ago unless in darkness. That leaves Pomni, the neutral person in the whole circus who hasn't made any connections yet. I think the next episode will raise the stakes with R&J's cold war of winning Pomni's friendship. While Ragatha does hates Jax, I don't think Jax really hates Ragatha all that much just probs want her to be herself more. Possibly even wanting to get to know her cuz they're not as lonely as they realise they are, just that they refuse to talk it out is all.

I think that's all I gotta say and amazing work from the team, animators and other people who worked on the episode!! I hope ya'll can understand by endless rambling about all of this as I was super hyped about the episode and the day it dropped although a day late to the party haha. Gosh my hands are in pain from typing this long.

[songmingisthighs]

[5.45] boyfriend!mingi × reader (ft. ateez, esp wooyoung)

⇀ birthday surprise gone horribly wrong

⇁ now ya'll know that i watch reddit stories videos on yt a wee bit too much

genre : angst

warning : mingi is a jerk, wooyoung likes butting in, public humiliation,

wc : 2.1 k

buy me coffee ?

"This party is so great!" Your friend squealed, giving you a side hug as you grinned widely in happiness. "I know!" you let her go to face your boyfriend, "And it's all thanks to Mingi," you leaned to kiss him on the lips but he looked away last minute and took a sip of his drink, causing you to miss his lips. "Don't sweat it," Mingi said, or more likely muttered. "I got to..." he trailed off before walking away, pointing at the direction of his friends.

It was odd for him to be so... quiet with you. It was rather worrying, actually.

Just as you were about to go over to ask Mngi what was wrong, your friend pulled you aside to a corner with an amused grin on her face. "A little birdie told me your boyfriend prepared a surprise," she excitedly whispered, almost squealing. "What? What are you talking about?" you blinked confusedly. "Well, I was talking to some of the girls who wanted to go home early because they live rather far but Wooyoung insisted that they stay because, as he said it, they're going to want to," she winked. Still confused, you narrowed your eyes at her, "And... why would that be? It's probably a cake or they want to perform a Britney Spears song in which it would make sense that Wooyoung would want them to stay." Exasperatedly, your friend scoffed and punched you lightly on your shoulder, "Dude! Mingi is going to propose to you!"

Though you didn't believe her, your face went red and you immediately shot the idea down, "No way! Are you crazy? We've been dating for like 7 months, I haven't even brought up the fact that my parents wanted to meet him! I've been so panicked over all this, I'm still thinking of ways to tell him," you huffed. In that moment, you looked sideways and your eyes met with Mingi. The way he was looking at you was like a smoulder, it sent chills down your spine due to its intensity. You shot him a smile and a small wave, hoping that Mingi would reciprocate in the creative, adorable ways he usually does. But this time, he simply pursed his lips and nodded once at you before averting his gaze, rendering you slightly confused but you try to let him be, thinking that maybe he was just over-stimulated due to the crowd of people in your place. Your friend simply shrugged, "I don't know, I know people who got married after 3 months because they just KNOW they're with the one. Or because they got knocked up, I guess. But anyway, I think something serious is happening down the line and I hope everyone's ready to see it."

"Hi everyone, thank you for attending (y/n)'s surprise party!" Wooyoung's voice caught everyone's attention almost immediately, "We have another surprise so can I please ask for your attention?" "Attention whore!" Yunho jokingly yelled from the back, causing the crowd to laugh and Wooyoung to flip him off. "Anyway, as I was saying before some BITCH cut me off, I'm really happy to see so many people here and I can only assume that it's a testament to how many people love (y/n) and if you agree, let's give a round of applause to her!" and the whole room erupted into roars of claps and people whooping you, rendering you shy as you drop your head and tried to hold in your mouth-ripping grin. The attention occupied your senses so much that you didn't realize that there was one person in the room who didn't join the mass, the one person who mattered most to you.

"That being said, I'm sure (y/n) reciprocates your love for her so in a way, we can say that (y/n) loves a lot of people," Wooyoung said and if you focus on his face, you could see a slight smirk blooming, almost taunting, "And recently we found out that there is a person that (y/n) seem to love a little bit more than others." When Wooyoung turned to cue something up with Mingi helping him, you managed to let the words sink in and when it settled, you found yourself confused. What was Wooyoung talking about? The only person who could have fit such a description was Mingi but he didn't look too happy right at that moment. But the biggest shock didn't come until the TV was turned on and you saw pictures of you that you've never seen before/

Wooyoung stepped back and grinned mischievously, "Now, we see just HOW MUCH (y/n) can love a person even if that person is not her boyfriend, my dear boy Mingi." He pressed on the laptop that was connected to the TV and showed a similar picture of you sitting in front of a guy who you had been seeing quite frequently. "Now you might be wondering, who is this well-dressed man? Where were they? What's going on here? Why were they meeting up?" There were at least three more pictures of the same situation from different angles and seeing them felt like you were being splashed with cold water. "Well, I think the right question should've been 'how long did they think they could hide this shit from her own boyfriend?' right?"

People around you started whispering while glancing at you, talking about the fact that you had just been caught cheating. The happy look on your face as you hugged the guy in the picture and the way you simply found comfort in his embrace was not making the situation any better. Honestly, the situation was worse because of it, especially for Mingi who was trying his best to not look at the pictures again. When Wooyoung came to him with those pictures, he didn't want to believe that you were cheating on him, someone as sweet as you, someone who had openly and verbally appreciated and loved him and even made a promise not to hurt him. That was a week ago and Mingi had had half a mind to cancel the birthday surprise party he had meticulously planned for you (it was mostly Yunho and Jongho because had it been left completely to Mingi, the party would just be two pizzas and some beer with streamers as decoration), but Wooyoung had another idea that he thought would be MUCH better. Wooyoung was looking proud of himself for revealing that while Mingi was glaring at you, looking visibly angry with the way he was breathing heavily. "Well, do you have anything to say to your BOYFRIEND, (y/n)?"

Your brain was on the verge of collapsing due to information rushing into your brain all at once, not knowing which, who, or where to address first.

It was then that the front door opened and closed and you heard people gasping in surprise.

How can they not? The guy in the picture in front of them was standing there with a gift in hand.

"What's going on?" he asked, confused, looking around at the people staring, pointing at him.

His voice seem to broke you out of your trance and your eyes immediately watered. Tears of embarrassment started pouring out of your eyes as you looked up at him.

"Seonghwa," you choked out, calling for him.

Seeing you in such a state, Seonghwa's eyes widened and he dropped the gift in panic, "(y/n), what's wrong? What happened?" Seonghwa was about to step forward to you when Wooyoung scoffed, "Of course he's here to hide in plain sight, throwing off people because who would imagine the accomplice to be together so blatantly, right?" Some people laughed at Wooyoung's jab and it was at that moment you completely broke and your dashed to your room. Once your door slammed shut, your best friend stepped up and pushed Wooyoung harshly, sending him reeling a few steps back. "What the fuck is wrong with you!?" she screamed, "Why would you make a spectacle like this!?" Wooyoung huffed and regained his composure, but Mingi shot back at her, "Are you seriously condoning her action? She betrayed me and you think attacking Wooyoung is okay? It's bad enough she broke my trust, she HAD to have him here too?" Mingi spat as he jabbed his thumb at Seonghwa's direction.

Seonghwa's eyebrows furrowed, "Excuse me?" Mingi finally stepped up and went face-to-face with Seonghwa and his 6 ft stature easily towered over Seonghwa. Despite that, Seonghwa didn't waver for a bit. "You have some nerve coming here. Don't you have some shame?" Mingi asked. Still confused, Seonghwa could only stare at Mingi in disbelief, "What are you talking about? (y/n) invited me, what do you mean I have some nerve?" "Can you blame (y/n)'s boyfriend when you were caught getting all cosy with (y/n) behind his back? What were you even trying to do anyway?" Wooyoung piped back up/

When Seonghwa averted his eyes to Wooyoung, he finally realized the picture of him hugging you on the screen. "I was congratulating her on how serious her relationship had become with her boyfriend and I was telling her that I'd have her back when she finally decided to introduce her boyfriend to her parents," he said matter-of-factly. At the mention of being introduced to your parents, Mingi's heart skipped a beat for a moment but he kept his resolve. "And which boyfriend were you talking about, Mingi or you?" Wooyoung smirked.

Almost immediately, Seonghwa's face scrunched into cringe and he reeled back as if he had just gotten hit, "Ew! I'm her cousin!"

The whole room froze, especially Mingi and Wooyoung who looked like he had just seen a ghost.

"What?" Mingi whispered, needing a confirmation.

"I'm (y/n)'s cousin. We met up because she asked me for my help to support her AND YOU when you go to meet her parents. They have been pressuring her and she thought she finally found someone she could bring home," realization dawned on Seonghwa and his initial confusion melted into disgust, "Now, I think she's wrong."

Wooyoung's eyes widened and so did Mingi's. They were left gaping like fishes out of the water, not knowing how to react as they processed the fact that they had just made themselves not only look like idiots but also assholes.

The sound of a door slamming was heard and you showed up with eyes red, cheeks wet, and bottom lip trembling. Surprisingly (to everyone and even himself), Mingi was the first one to rush to you, crouching to look you in the eyes but you simply looked to the side, avoiding his gaze. "Baby, are you okay? I-I'm- I- Can we talk?" It was practically pathetic that Mingi switched his demeanour so quickly, but it was the first thing that he could think of.

"Get me out of here," you croaked, the brokenness of your voice tugged the strings of Mingi's heart as the guilt of what he did started to accumulate. "You wanna get out of here? Okay, we can do it, I'll get you out. Where do you want to go to? I-I can find somewhere or do you somewhere in mind already? I know it's just-" "Seonghwa," You cut him off, ignoring him as you looked up straight to your cousin, "Please get me out of here."

You didn't have to say twice before Seonghwa rushed to you, pushing Mingi out of the way (obviously intentionally) to get you out. When you walked past him, Mingi finally saw the large bag you had in your hand and the sight served as concrete proof of how much he fucked up.

On your way out, Seonghwa managed to scoop the birthday present he had accidentally dropped and momentarily turned around to glare at Mingi, "I'm taking this because my favourite cousin deserves one good thing now after what you did and you can bet I'm turning this day around for her," he hissed before finally leaving with you who couldn't even spare one last glance at anyone else and no one could blame you.

Silence hung in the air for two minutes before guests started trickling out, muttering shit excuses like having a curfew or needing to relieve their cat-sitter until there were just your friends and Mingi's inside. Your friend glared at Mingi and Wooyoung with so much disgust, they might as well have been chin-deep in a vat of butcher scraps mixed with manure. "I hope you're fucking happy doing this on her birthday you sick fucks," she spat before turning and leaving, the other people in your friend group joining. After they all left, Yunho and Jongho stayed back, looking at their friends in disbelief because they never thought their friends could pull something like that.

"You couldn't have asked her first or gather more evidence?" Jongho asked, scoffing. Wooyoung flipped him off while Mingi let out a sharp exhale as he slid down the wall behind him, "Shut up man," he halfheartedly muttered.

Served him right.

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[inthekitschen]

What they're attracted to

Some of the qualities the ghouls are attracted to in a partner

Frostheim

The King | Jin Kamurai

Jin likes someone who can stand their ground

He knows he's an asshole, so when someone gives it back, he can't help but respect it.

I also think he would like someone who is passionate. After the clash, he lost his own drive, so he likes seeing his partner care about something

The Advisor | Tohma Ishibashi

Tohma likes someone who's good with people. I think he had to learn how to navigate politically when he transferred to Frostheim, so someone who is able to do it naturally would intrigue him

Along with that, he likes someone who can surprise him/challenge his worldview.

He's good at predicting people, so when you do something outside of his expectations, he can't help but be fascinated.

The Archer | Kaito Fuji

Kaito likes someone who's nice

It sounds simple, but truly, he's around rich assholes all day. All you have to do is be kind and he'll fall in love.

He's also really insecure, so he admires someone who is confident in themselves. It would honestly help his own self esteem.

The Knight | Lucas Errant

Lucas likes someone who's steadfast in their beliefs.

It doesn't have to be the same beliefs as his; if you're able to defend your position and stay true to yourself, he respects you

That being said, he also wants a partner who can admit when they're wrong. There's a difference between being steadfast and stubborn.

Vagastrom

The Ex-Con | Alan Mido

Alan likes a partner who can defend themselves, whether it be physically or verbally

He's very protective, so it would give him ease of mind

Alan would be drawn to someone who is smart and/or artistic. He's attracted to dedication and skill, it’s a show of hard work

The Influencer | Leo Kurosagi

It's less about what Leo wants and more about what he needs in a partner

You really have to be thick-skinned. If you're someone who's on the more sensitive side, I don't foresee a relationship lasting long

He needs someone who will call him on his shit. When he's in a place to receive it, he actually responds pretty okay.

The Rider | Sho Haizono

Sho likes someone who can chill.

He's pretty social and active, so I think he would appreciate someone with similar interests, but I can also see him going for a total nerd

I think he likes someone who is passionate about their interests/hobbies, no matter what those hobbies are.

Jabberwock

The Ranger | Haru Sagara

Haru loves someone who is a hard worker! No matter what it is that you do, if you're dedicated, he's in love.

But I think he also loves someone who is able to slow down and relax. He needs help in that department lol

I think he's drawn to someone who is a bit more quiet. It's a nice balance of energy for him.

The Free Spirit | Towa Otonashi

Towa loves someone who loves life!

He also wants someone who is a free spirit, similar to him. He doesn't want a partner who drags him down.

Overall, he wants his soulmate to be on the more optimistic side.

The Slacker | Ren Shiranami

Ren wants someone who can relax

But he secretly admires someone with a good work ethic. He would never admit it though

He also likes someone that’s funny. He'll roll his eyes at your jokes or comments, but he likes how quickly you're able to come up with them

Sinostra

The Gambler | Taiga Hoshibami

You need to be a freak (at least a little bit)

If you can't look down the barrel of a gun without blinking, he's not remembering you

I also think Taiga would like someone with a more calm disposition. It would soothe him.

The Sniper | Romeo Lucci

Romeo wants someone smart. He has to deal with idiots all day, if you're not able to keep up with his demands and acronyms, GTFO.

Someone who's calmer would also complement him well. He might (heavy on the might) be more willing to relax.

I think he would also be attracted to a natural leader. Seeing you take charge and stand on business would be one of his favorite sights.

The Paralegal | Ritsu Shinjo

Ritsu loves a hard worker. Someone who is as dedicated to their chosen field as he is would be his top quality he looks for in a partner.

He also wants someone who is smart. He's a little pretentious (which I think he would get over in time) so he wants a partner who understands his references to literature or is willing to expand their knowledge

He likes someone who encourages him to expand his horizons. The implication that he needs to might offend him, but once he gets over that, he's excited to learn new things

Hotarubi

The Actor | Subaru Kagami

Subaru really admires someone who is self-assured.

It's a quality he lacks in himself, to be so unapologetic about who you are, that he can't help but be fascinated by it.

He's also attracted to kindness. He just appreciates someone who is nice to others.

The Flutist | Haku Kusanagi

Haku isn't picky when it comes to a partner, but I think similar to Towa, Haku wants someone who has a love for life

He's attracted to passion. If you have something you're really passionate about, he likes seeing you in action.

He would like to have a partner who is more open than he is

The Poet | Zenji Kotadama

Zenji would appreciate a partner who is an artist

It doesn't have to be a certain type of art; I think any medium of finding beauty in the world draws him to you.

I can also see him with a partner who is more introspective. He would like the balance to his energy

Obscuary

The Vampire | Edward Hart

Ed truly has no preference. He's been alive for 400 years, I doubt he has much of a 'type' anymore

If he did, I imagine it would be someone who is a homebody so he can spend time with you

I could also see him seeking out a partner who is more proactive about doing chores lol

The Reaper | Rui Mizuki

Rui is also not picky

I think he would admire someone who is studious. Idk why, I can just see him complimenting you for being smart (even though he compliments you for everything lol)

He would also appreciate someone who is quiet/introspective. He just likes the calm energy.

The Werewolf | Lyca Colt

Lyca wants someone who is upfront about their feelings.

He knows he isn't the best at interacting with people yet. He wants to be better. He wants you to tell him what he does wrong so he can be better.

He would also like someone easygoing. He gets riled up quickly, so having a calmer partner would balance him out.

Mortkranken

The Doctor | Yuri Isami

Yuri wants a partner who is smart enough to keep up with him. He gets irritated having to explain himself multiple times.

He would also like someone who is confrontational/argumentative. He says a lot of out of pocket shit, I think he would surprisingly like it if someone called him out on it

He likes a challenge. Sure, he acts like he wants someone who fawns over him and listens to everything he says, but I feel like he would get bored of that quickly.

The Monster | Jiro Kirisaki

I can see Jiro being attracted to someone who is more emotional. He likes seeing your reactions to things and picking your brain for why you have those reactions.

He would probably look for more practical qualities in a partner. Someone who can defend themselves against anomalies, and has at least basic medical knowledge.

For him, it’s less about attraction and more about being a good fit for each other.

[outtamynoggin]

Love your dick incorrect quotes 😭💞💞I feel so happy reading them btw how doo u think the batfam would react to seeing alot of pictures of dick in the Wayne mannor (b had this big ass painting of dick in the middle in the hq show and in an old comic there was a wall sized portrait of those two XD

Thank you so much!!

Batman #13

This one right? There's a few others too!

Is this the one about the HQ? From the Harley Quinn show. oh wait hq stands for Harley Quinn 🤣🤣🔫

Either way, I love how Bruce's obsession with Dick is just so constant across media and across decades. DC is literally honing in on him being favorite.

The show is literally unhinged:

Bruce, what? Can you say it in any other words???

Actually in the show, Damian sees the one when they're all dining because he's gaming on the couch and he's so chill about it. Like he just expects it.

Damian: Of course, there's a photo of Richard on the wall. He is the favorite. It is only right that father commissioned a Renaissance-scale shrine for him.

Meanwhile Jason is like: What am I, chopped liver?

While Tim's like: You're actually more like burnt liver.

Tim: *ducks as a whole friggin couch goes sailing over his head. Stands up smirking only to get tackled by a hulking mass of undead muscle*

Damian: At least Todd has a picture on the wall.

Tim: *Pool noodling his way out of Jason's grasp* That's cause he thought both of them were dead which is why he has the pictures up. Only Dick's is the size of a cathedral alter like Bruce commissioned it from the Vatican which he then framed in solid gold. You don’t hang something like that unless you expect people to pray to it. Jason's got shoved into a tiny corner at the bottom.

Jason: *throwing his hands up* CAN I WIN JUST ONCE IN THIS HOUSE?!

Tim: Are you Dick?

Damian: *smirking* No.

Tim: Then no.

Jason: You little twerps. I'm gonna string you two up and throw you out the batplane.

Stephanie: *walking in* Who's throwing who out of a batplane?

Tim: *scoffing* Jason's throwing me and batbrat out of the batplane.

Stephanie: Oooh! Sounds fun, can I join?! I'll bring the ropes!

Tim: You're not even going to ask why???!

Stephanie: *deadpan* Tim. I don't need a reason to throw you out of the batplane.

Tim: *Offended*

Jason: *Laughing and high-fiving her* God you get me.

Stephanie: But for curiosity's sake-

Damian: For the sake of curiosity-

Stephanie: -Why?

Damian: Todd is emotionally compromised over Father's unrelenting favoritism toward Richard.

Stephanie: Oh. Well, duh. Everyone likes Dick more.

Tim: Facts.

Stephanie: That's Batfam Lore™. What brought it on this time though?

Tim: We were talking about the massive picture Bruce has in the dining room. 

Stephanie: Oh my fudge cake gods. That Picture! Do you know how hard it is to eat even a cheese stick while being stared down by a thirty-foot tall Dick Grayson?! Like, what is wrong with Bruce! I’m pretty sure the reason Dick doesn’t visit the manor anymore is because he’s too weirded out by a bigger version own self staring at him. 

Jason: THANK YOU. Someone with a decent sense of propriety. And why the hell is it life-sized?

Stephanie: Barbara loves it, though. She thinks it's hot. Calls it "Big Dick Energy: Collector’s Edition." But she and Bruce are weird about him.

Tim: *muttering* I think it’s nice.

*Silence.*

Stephanie, Jason, and Damian: *Collectively side-eyeing him*

Stephanie: Right.... You were always weird about him too.

Tim: Wha- I was perfectly normal!

Damian: Drake. You once stood in front of the living room one for six hours straight.

Jason: Ye- six hours? Really?

Damian: He did not eat. He did not move. Father thought he was stuck in a time loop.

Jason: *Turning a disbelieving gaze on Tim* Dude....

Tim: *Flushing* I was just… observing! Deep observation! For art appreciation!

Stephanie: It’s not the fucking Louvre, Tim. That picture has been there through 7 kids and it's going to be there for at least 7 kids. But really, does Bruce have to have so many pictures of Dick?

Jason: *Rolling his eyes* Tell me about it. Don't forget the life-sized one in the library. I went in to read and accidentally ended up having a staring contest with a 2D Dick. Lost both my dignity and the will to finish my book.

Jason: *Gesturing wildly* You can’t eat in peace, can’t read in peace—hell, I tried to take a nap on the couch once and woke up face-to-face with a mantlepiece-sized Dick smile. I thought I died and went to Grayson Heaven.

Damian: Also the framed photos of him littering Father's study so he can stare at them while he works. I'm inundated with his visage every few rooms.

Stephanie: I bet even Alfred’s like, "Sir, perhaps a fourth room of paintings is excessive."

Tim: He’d never say that. Alfred’s part of the cult.

Damian: *Nodding* Pennyworth once wiped dust off the frame and whispered, "Good as new, Master Richard."

Jason: *voice cracking* Okay, you know what? I can’t do this anymore. I’m moving to Crime Alley. At least there, there’s no Dick—

Stephanie: There’s literally a Nightwing mural spray-painted across an entire wall with the word "Hope" like Gotham’s Beyoncé.

Jason: *crying* Fuck. Exactly. EVEN THERE I CAN'T ESCAPE HIM.

Damian: *judging him* This is a personal failing.

Jason: *frothing at the mouth* No, you would think that, wouldn't you? You’re the last person who should talk! You get all misty-eyed and say "We were the best, Grayson" every time Dick breathes near you!

Damian: *smirking* That is because it’s true.

Jason: *Collapsing on the coach and trying to avoid looking at the framed picture Dick on the side table* ....I can't believe I'm saying this... but thank you for being the normal one, Steph.

Stephanie: *Laughing nervously* Uh, yeah. Sure! No problem!

Tim: *Rolling his eyes* You're thanking the wrong girl. She-

Stephanie: *Wacking him unconscious hurriedly* SO! Who wants waffles!!

[windvexer]

So you're worried about getting into spirit work because you might say the wrong thing and offend the spirits

[[YMMV; this is a UPG post, etc. Other spirit workers are welcome to include their own experiences, suggestions, or cautions :)]]

My take is straightforward. Each step is expanded below.

Do the research you can to understand the kind of spirits you're interacting with. If myth, lore, or folktale gives you rules/guidelines for interaction with that kind of spirit, follow them.

Whether or not you can do that (unknown kind of spirit; limited lore), always behave with your highest level of respect and manners.

If a spirit tells you its preferences or boundaries that contradict with their lore or your manners, prioritize the spirit's preferences.

If you make a mistake that causes offense, apologize and ask for another chance.

If a spirit is going to be an unforgiving vengeful jackass just because you make a mistake, maybe that guy just sucks and you shouldn't work with him.

Do the research

THE RESEARCH IS NOT TO FIGURE OUT IF THE SPIRIT IS 'GOOD' OR 'EVIL'.

The research is to understand if there are any expected acts of courtesy and hospitality when dealing with this category of spirit.

Spirits are not the stupidest guy you've ever met. They are likely to understand if you have taken the time to research appropriate means of hospitality.

It's like googling horse behavior before you go hang out on a farm for the summer. You read a story about how horses can kick. So they're evil?? Evil dangerous??? But also, they can be good friends and people even say they can be helpers... Then which is it? Are horses right-handed path or left-handed path?

The point is to gain a roadmap, if one is available, to understand appropriate behaviors during interaction. Like, don't stand behind the horse!

If you know the classification of spirit you're working with, trying to understand their cultural expectations is a sign of respect and can help you. Every once and a while there might be a really important rule that's outlined in lore, and if that exists, you'd be better off knowing it ahead of time.

Like, idk. Don't agree to a fiddle contest on a crossroads, you know? This is lore you should already have in your back pocket before you go to meet the Devil in Appalachia.

Always behave with highest respect and manners

This doesn't mean groveling, boot-licking, or worship.

Respect spirits as individuals. Do not ignore what they show you about themselves because you only think of them as cookie-cutter lore-clones.

Use manners.

As much as you can, try to think of your spirit encounters as being actual present-moment encounters with real beings.

If you see that your behavior seems to make a spirit withdraw or be uncomfortable, try pausing that behavior. If you see a spirit responds well to certain behavior, try using that more.

If you see that a spirit is getting frustrated with a behavior, do not keep doing it over and over again just because you heard that kind of spirit is supposed to like it.

Importantly, if you do end up accidentally upsetting a spirit you want to be able to say, "I'm sorry that I offended you, my action was meant to be one of respect."

You never want to be stuck saying, "wow, sorry that offended you. I guess I don't know what I was thinking, I just assumed you'd be more chill..."

Spirits are not the stupidest guy you've ever met. They understand if you are making an effort, or not. And making an effort can go a really long way.

In addition, I personally recommend that during spirit contact assume you saw and heard correctly, but don't immediately integrate what you perceived as being proven fact.

If a spirit tells you it's a dragon and you don't believe it, don't keep asking it what it is over and over. Like imagine that from their perspective. "What are you?" "A dragon." "...Can you tell me what you are?" "I'm a dragon." [takes three deep breaths, intense meditative focus] "Spirit, please reveal to me your nature; what might be called type, or species." "D R A G O N" "Can you describe your appearance to me? That would help me understan-- oh, I no longer sense a presence. I guess this was all in my head. I was right to have my doubts."

If you hear silly or nonsense names, are told unbelievable spirit types, or anything, assume you heard correctly. This does not mean you should assume the spirit is being honest or forthcoming, or that your psychism is flawless. Rather, roll with the punches - accept what you experience in the moment, and later on spend effort in discernment, testing ideas before you accept them as truth, fact, or beliefs.

Just don't demand the other person repeat themselves and then tell them to their faces you don't believe them.

If you did hear incorrectly, spirits can take their own steps towards correcting your understanding later on.

Assume spirits are individuals

Imagine making friends with a goth (!!), but you've never interacted with that kind of person before. So you go to WikiHow and read their helpful article, How To Be Friends With A Goth. It says that goths really enjoy listening to The Cure and having a collection of safety pins.

Because you want this relationship to work out, you invite your new goth friend over and put on The Cure.

"Do you mind if we listen to some Manson?" Anastazia asks you. "I'm not really into the older stuff."

You can't believe your hearing has failed you. You zoned out to the point where you actually thought a goth said they did not want to listen to The Cure. How embarrassing. However, you know what Anastazia really wants. Anastazia wants to listen to The Cure.

WikiHow said so.

Apologize and work it out

People worry about 'offending the spirits' as if that's the worst possible thing you could ever do. It is not.

I offend spirits sometimes. This is how it usually goes:

Me: [offensive action] Spirit: "Woah, that sucks. Don't do that, I didn't like it." Me: "Oh dang I'm sorry, I didn't realize it would go down like that. I'll remember how you feel and try to do better." Spirit: "Okay, thanks for not being a jerk about it. I gotta go now, let's talk later."

What's the worst case scenario, that the relationship will be irreparable? IRREPARABLE, because you accidentally said one wrong thing?

If your spirits are making you walk on eggshells, making you terrified to speak up or communicate because saying the wrong thing will make them lash out, give you the silent treatment, or put you in danger...

What would you tell your friend to do, if they were in that kind of relationship? I think you might offer them help to get out and find a new relationship where they are valued and respected.

Putting on my serious hat: If you do believe that spirits are inherently vengeful, heartless, or prone to abusive behaviors like harming you because you made a mistake, I encourage you to consider if spirit work is really a healthy choice for you at this time.

Maybe that guy really isn't just for you, you know?

A lot of people are really worried about saying something wrong. Like spirit work is that Squid Game of glass floors, and if you step on the wrong tile it'll shatter and spirits will drag you straight to hell.

Look - I know what the wrong things to say are. Here's a list to help you avoid stumbling into these pitfalls (not comprehensive):

"Fuck you, I'm God."

"You are now my slave. I bind you, worm. That's what you are to me. A worm."

"Hi, I choose you to be the one who gives me power and teaches me magic. I brought you a pretty rock to live in :) Get inside of it :)"

"Nice to meet you, I'm the new head bitch in charge of this forest. Go tell everyone else who the new boss is."

However if you choose to say the following sorts of things I think you're really playing it safe:

Nice to meet you, I'm really excited to be reaching out and I hope we can be friends.

I'm hoping to find a helper or a familiar who wants to be a part of my practice. Do you think that could be you?

I'm surprised that you take the appearance I associate with a European being, but we're in Idaho. Would it be correct to call you a Kelpie?

Thanks for joining me when I called out, but as it turns out your energy is way too intense for me. Is it possible for you to hold back your radiance? Otherwise I think we need to part ways.

I really can't Hear you at all, so would it be okay if I just gave you a nickname?

Nonetheless, if a guy does get really offended and demands that you self-flagellate to soothe his temper, then maybe he kind of just sucks and you shouldn't spend any more time with him.

You can be the nicest and most respectful person of all time, and some spirits will just never be happy.

If you think certain spirits are likely to be easily offended, don't reach out to them.

If you think all spirits are likely to be easily offended, that is another problem altogether.

If you don't know where to start, the following kinds of guys are often quite patient and easy to get along with:

Domesticated trees

Culinary or medicinal plant species (poisonous plants excluded)

Streams, lakes (rivers... maybe not so much, IME)

Clouds, rainbows, light rain

Breezes, joyful gusting winds

Fish

Air, atmosphere

Salt

Learn sorcerous skills to back you up during spirit work, behave with common sense and respect, and take your time getting to know new spirits. And I think you'll be okay.

[lenaellsi]

“Crowley is still an angel deep down” “Crowley is more of an angel than any of the archangels” “Crowley was only cast out because he needed to play his part in Armageddon, he's not a real demon” “Aziraphale wants to rebuild Heaven to be more like Crowley because he’s what an angel should be” no. Stop it. This is exactly where Aziraphale went wrong.

Crowley is 100% a demon. He's not actually a bit of an angel, and he's not cosmically better than any of the other demons we see in the series. He's much less vicious than most of them, yeah, but he's also much less vicious than most of the angels, because how “nice” a celestial being is has nothing to do with which side they're technically on. Crowley's kindness comes from him doing his best to help people despite the hurt he's suffered himself, not any sort of inherent residual or earned holiness. He was cast out just like the rest of the demons, and that's an important part of his history that shouldn't be minimized, excused, or, critically, 'corrected.'

Being angelic is not a positive or negative trait in the Good Omens universe. It's a species descriptor. Saying that Crowley is still an angel deep down because he helps people is an in-character thing for Aziraphale to think, certainly--Job and the final fifteen showed that in the worst possible way--but it's not something Crowley would ever react well to, and it's the main source of conflict in the entire "appoint you to be an angel" fiasco.

We know that Aziraphale thinks Crowley's fall was an injustice, but why? Well, because Crowley is actually Good, which means his fall was a mistake, or a test, or a regrettable error in judgment, or…something. Ineffable. Etc. The point is, he’s special, much better than those other demons, and if they can fix him and make him an angel again, everything will be fine! (So once Job's trials are over, everything will be restored to him? Praise be!) Aziraphale has to believe that Crowley's better traits come from traces of the angel he used to know and not the demon he's known for 6,000 years, because that’s how he can rationalize his incorrect view of Heaven as The Source Of Truth And Light And Good with his complicated feelings about Crowley's fall.

But Crowley's fall was not an injustice because he's actually a Good Person who didn't deserve it. Crowley's fall was an injustice because the entire system of dividing people into Good (obedient) and Bad (rebellious) is bullshit. Crowley is not an unfortunate exception to God's benevolence, he is a particularly sympathetic example of God's cruelty.

And really, Crowley doesn't behave at all like an angel, especially when he's at his best. All of the things that he's done that we as the audience consider Good are things that Heaven has directly opposed. (See: saving the goats and children in defiance of God in S2E2, convincing Aziraphale to give money to Elspeth despite Heaven's views on the "virtues of poverty" in S2E3, speaking out against the flood and the crucifixion in S1E3, tempting Aziraphale to enjoy earthly pleasures because he thinks they'll make him happy, stopping Armageddon.)

Heaven as an institution has never been about helping humanity. And that's not an issue of leadership, as Aziraphale seems to think--it's by design. Aziraphale's first official act as an angel toward humanity was to literally throw them to the lions. Giving them the sword wasn't him acting like an angel, it was just him being himself. Heaven doesn't care about humans. It's not supposed to. It's supposed to win the war against Hell, with humans as chess pieces at best and collateral damage at worst.

Yes, it's easier to think that there are forces that are supposed to be fundamentally good. It's easier to think that Aziraphale is going to show those mean archangels and the Metatron what’s coming to them and reform Heaven into what it "should" be, and that God is actually super chill and watching all of this while shipping ineffable husbands and cheering for them the whole way. And of course it's easier to take Crowley, who Aziraphale (and the audience) adores, and say that he deserves to be on the Good team much more than all those angels and demons that we don’t like. But that's not how it works. People are more complicated than that, even celestial beings.

Crowley is a demon, and the tragedy of his character is not that he's secretly a good guy who is being forced to be evil; the tragedy is that he's lived his whole life stuck between two institutional forces that are both equally hostile to the love he feels for the universe and the beings in it. There are no good and bad guys. There are no "right people." Every angel, demon, and human is capable of hurting or helping others based on their choices. That is, in fact, the entire fucking point.

[elftwink]

it is actually wild how cis people pretend "can you please not misgender me" as some sort of egregious demand that we're sooo unreasonable for and how we should just be able to brush it all off no matter what, considering not only do cis people get wildly offended when they're misgendered but also when they accidentally misgender someone they believe to be cis they practically get down on their knees and beg for forgiveness, so great is the social transgression they just committed. they really expect you to be mad as hell. obviously water is wet but sometimes i think when you're told over and over and over again that you're making a big deal out of nothing and everyone else is actually so chill about misgendering, it's important to recall that cis people are by far the least chill about being misgendered, and that in the absence of trans people, cis people all agree that being misgendered sucks and the person in the wrong who needs to apologize is the misgenderer, even if it was an accident (in fact especially so). like everyone implicitly understands the discomfort in being misgendered, and when they insist that it isn't uncomfortable, what they actually mean is that they think you deserve the discomfort. i think we should stop letting these assholes mince words and feign ignorance about something they understand perfectly well. if u all were literally half as chill as you expect us to be we could blanket the earth in 10ft of snow