#its also like. tbh i dont think accidental misgendering should be a big deal

[elftwink]

it is actually wild how cis people pretend "can you please not misgender me" as some sort of egregious demand that we're sooo unreasonable for and how we should just be able to brush it all off no matter what, considering not only do cis people get wildly offended when they're misgendered but also when they accidentally misgender someone they believe to be cis they practically get down on their knees and beg for forgiveness, so great is the social transgression they just committed. they really expect you to be mad as hell. obviously water is wet but sometimes i think when you're told over and over and over again that you're making a big deal out of nothing and everyone else is actually so chill about misgendering, it's important to recall that cis people are by far the least chill about being misgendered, and that in the absence of trans people, cis people all agree that being misgendered sucks and the person in the wrong who needs to apologize is the misgenderer, even if it was an accident (in fact especially so). like everyone implicitly understands the discomfort in being misgendered, and when they insist that it isn't uncomfortable, what they actually mean is that they think you deserve the discomfort. i think we should stop letting these assholes mince words and feign ignorance about something they understand perfectly well. if u all were literally half as chill as you expect us to be we could blanket the earth in 10ft of snow