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drabblesandimagines · 1 year ago

Text

Hitched

Leon Kennedy x fem reader, established relationship Couple of swears, mentions of blood

The sudden noise behind you sends you spinning on your heels to confront it. Your pistol is raised, finger slightly squeezing the trigger in preparation to blow the next monstrosity’s head off only to see Leon’s alarmed face, his hands up in surrender, gun dangling from his grip.

“Whoa, baby, it’s just me.”

You exhale in relief, immediately dropping and holstering your weapon. “Sorry – jumpy. You okay?”

You look him up and down, looking for injuries after you’d been separated a little while ago. It felt like every other mission these days led to the two of you working your way through underground caverns, as evil scientists seem to just love setting up their bases there, with ill-maintained wooden walkways that collapsed below your feet. Leon had gone toppling down the last one, reassuring you he was fine - he did always manage to forward roll his way out of taking any impact – and said by the map he’d pilfered from one of the supply rooms, it looks like your paths would cross again eventually and it meant the two of you could cover more ground until then.

“I’m fine. You, however…” He steps forward, grasps you by the elbow and pulls it up gently in front of you to reveal a nasty slice across your forearm, dripping blood on the dirt.

“Slashed out at me as I took it out. Misjudged the space. I blame the moody lighting.” You joke, but Leon doesn’t respond, inspecting the damage.

“I’m okay. We should keep moving, we can’t be far from-”

“Uh-uh. Come on, there’s an alcove just back this way to provide us some cover whilst I see to this.” His grip is still firmly on your elbow as he tugs you back the way he emerged from.

“I promise I’m fine.”

“Sweetheart, you’re gonna leave a blood trail if we don’t. Besides, as your fiancé, I insist.”

The fiancé card is not one that Leon pulls out often on a mission, but has started to do so considering how long your engagement has been. He’d proposed two years ago, literally the moment he got you within eyesight as he returned from a solo mission to Spain to rescue the President’s daughter. He didn’t have a ring – later rectified – but just dropped to his knees and asked you to become his wife. It wasn’t like you hadn’t started wedding planning. There was a folder of brochures under the coffee table, half-drafted emails to venues and caterers on your laptop, saved photos of wedding gowns and centerpieces… But it just felt impossible to ever truly put a plan in place, nail down a concrete date, you didn’t know where the two of you were going to be one month from the next. Sorry, terrorism, could you wait a week or two for the Kennedy wedding to pass first?

“Okay.” You concede and allow him to guide you back a few hundred metres to the alcove – it’s more a deep crevice in the wall, but it won’t be obvious the two of you are hiding in there if anyone or anything was to stroll by.

“Sit.” He points to the space furthest back and you drop down, crossing your legs beneath you so he can crouch down in front. You lay your wounded arm out in front of you with a slight wince. If you were being honest, it did hurt.

“Here, chew this. It’ll make you feel better.” He passes you one of those stupid green herbs from his supplies. The man swears by them as a natural pain reliever – useful in a bind, he claims.

“Ugh, really? But they’re so bitter.” You shake your head, “I’ll be fine without.”

He quirks his eyebrow at you, pulling out a roll of gauze from one of his pouches to begin to dress your wound. “Sweetheart, either you chew it, or I will go mamma bird on your ass, chew it for you and then kiss you so hard you’ll have no other choice but to swallow.”

You laugh, dryly. “I think that might be the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

“Chew.”

Again, you concede. Leon won’t stop at anything to ensure you’re taken care of. As his gentle fingers begin to wrap the bandage tightly around your wound in an effort to stem the bleeding, you crunch the herb between your teeth. It’s scratchy, horrendously bitter, makes you want to gag almost. You can’t chew fast enough to get rid of it. He is right about them, though – a moment or two later the stabbing, stinging pain in your forearm where the creature slashed you dulls to a low, much more tolerable ache.

He has a smug look on his face, knowing your tells too well.

“Told you it would make you feel better.”

He finishes wrapping the gauze around your arm and ties it off with a tight knot, slicing the excess off with his knife. He puts away the roll before he turns and sits down besides you, throwing his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his chest, kissing your crown. You can feel his heart pounding beneath your cheek – he was worried about you. He knows you can take care of yourself, you’ve been through as much hell as he has, but seeing you injured always sets him off.

You know you should press on – BOWs wait for no man - but it’s clear the two of you need a moment to catch your breath, take stock of what’s occurred, work out how you’ve ended up here - again.

You begin to fiddle with the engagement ring that hangs around your neck. Too much risk wearing it on your finger when out on missions, but it felt odd and wrong to leave it at home on your dressing table, so you’d settled for having it like this, tucking it away on a chain out of sight, but playing with it had soon turned into a nervous habit.

Leon clocks your fidgeting immediately and takes your hand, lacing his fingers through. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“Nothing. Just… thinking.”

“About?” He probes, gently.

“What we’re doing here.”

“You forget the brief?” Leon teases and you elbow him lightly in the stomach – not that you’d manage much damage given how muscular he is.

“Like, is this just our life now? Every couple of months, another set of BOWs appears, we deal with and eliminate - rinse and repeat.”

“I…” He sighs. “I don’t know, sweetheart. I hope not. I’d like to think that one day we stop them all and we get a pretty sweet retirement package.”

“I want to get married.” You say, softly.

“Hey, I’m the one who did the proposing, you’re the one who said you wanted to wait until-”

“I know, but I don’t want to wait anymore. I can’t keep holding off for a big event that I’m not sure we’ll ever get to have.” You pause a moment as you sit up, turning to face him head on. “The second we are out of here, I want to marry you.”

“Seriously?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Seriously. Registry office. We’ll wear what we’re wearing – blood splatters, camos, bruises, all of that. I don’t care. I just want to be your wife already.”

“My wife, huh?” He grins at the idea. “Yeah, I want that too. I can’t lie, though, I was looking forward to seeing you in a wedding dress.”

“You will. We’ll do that later – a party or whatever, something that can be rescheduled easy enough if the world goes to shit. But this, this can just be us, huh?”

“Just us, baby.” He places a hand on the side of your face and guides you in for a heated kiss, teasing your bottom lip with his teeth until you permit his tongue entrance and the wrestle for dominance begins. After a moment or two, you place your palm flat on his chest and push back.

“We’re getting distracted, Leon.”

“We sure are.” He gets to his feet and offers you his hand, pulling you up with ease. “Come on, let’s go kill these bastards and get hitched.”

“Took the words outta my mouth, handsome.”

“Okay, Leon said it was casual, but I didn’t picture this casual.” Hunnigan appears behind you in the restroom mirror, dressed in her usual work suit, albeit with a paper bag in hand. Leon had radio’ed in as soon as your objective was clear – DSO teams swooping in to clear up and confiscate and destroy the weapons retrieved – and asked Hunnigan to get them into the registry office today.

“Yeah, we were going for work casual, but we had to leave the weapons in the SUV.” You shrug, washing the grime off your face in the sink. You supposed you should at least prep that much. “Thank you for getting us in.”

She shrugs, “It was one of Leon’s easier requests, funnily enough.” She holds the bag in front of her in offering. “For you.”

“Just me?” You raise an eyebrow.

“I don’t think Leon will like it as much.” You take the bag with a smile and place it down on the counter to open it – a small bouquet of white daisies within.

“Just so I can catch the bouquet, obviously.”

Hunnigan acts as the witness, of course, as you find yourself standing in front of the officiant. He barely batted an eyelid at your attire and you think he must’ve seen all sorts come through the door in his time, so the couple who decided to get married in tactical gear, bruised and bandaged, is just another day.

“Do we have rings?” The officiant questions and before you can say no, Hunnigan steps forward again, handing over a box.

“Should’ve known you’d have our ring sizes on file.” Leon laughs.

“Had a suspicion it might come in handy one day.” She smiles, taking her place back in a seat behind the two of you. The officiant opens the box to reveal two simple gold wedding bands.

Leon takes your hand then – his leather gloves removed for the occasion – and smiles. He’s got a bruise blossoming on his left cheek, his hair’s a beautiful mess, but he’s here and you’re here and it’s perfect.

“If you’ll repeat after me.” The officiant looks at Leon, who continues to look lovingly at you, biting his lip in an excited smile. “I, Leon Scott Kennedy…”

He wets his lips with his tongue and squeezes your hand. “I, Leon Scott Kennedy….”

The vows are over before you know it. You feel giddy, a combination of exhaustion and love, surely.

“I pronounce you husband and wife. It gives me great honour to introduce to you,” he looks at Hunnigan, “the new Mr and Mrs Kennedy. You may now kiss the bride.”

Leon doesn’t hesitate, pulling you in close and into a bruising kiss, dipping you back a little before returning you to your feet. “Just a little show for our guest.” He whispers in your ear, nodding his head over at an applauding Hunnigan.

“Dare I ask about honeymoon plans?” Hunnigan comments as the three of you exit the registry office. “I’m expecting the two of you back in HQ tomorrow for a debrief, after all.”

“I don’t know. Any ideas, beautiful?” Leon brings up your hand to his mouth, placing a kiss across your knuckles, the gold band sitting snugly on your ring finger.

“Yeah, I have one.” You nod. “I wanna burger – a real greasy one – and fries. And a beer.”

“I knew there was a good reason I married you.” He drops your hand and wraps his arm around your waist and slips another under your knees, sweeping you off your feet and into his arms and you squeal.

“Gotta carry my beautiful wife over the threshold of the nearest diner, don’t I?”

You grin. “That is the tradition. Oh, and speaking of traditions…” You toss the bouquet over Leon’s shoulder into Hunnigan’s arms. “Look who’s next!”

“On second thought…” she walks over to you and places them back into your hands, “keep it. I might as well wait for the redo. See you tomorrow, lovebirds. As a wedding gift, I won’t expect you in until the afternoon.”

“Too kind, Hunnigan.” Leon smirks as she waves over her shoulder and heads towards the parking lot.

Once she’s out of sight, you grab the back of your husband’s head, pulling him down into a chaste kiss and smile up at him. “I love you, Leon.”

“I love you too, Mrs Kennedy.”

Comments, likes and reblogs make my whole day x 400 Followers Event.

Masterlist . Requests welcome . Ko-fi

#ghostdogwrites #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon x reader #leon x you #leon kennedy x female reader #leon kennedy fluff #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you

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mamamittens · 2 years ago

Text

Oh, Sweet Child of Mine (Pt. 12)

Platonic Yandere Whitebeard Crew (and others) & Reader-Insert

Main|First|Previous

Warnings: Yandere behavior, excessive use of force/fire, light injuries, and character death. At this point, need I remind ya'll to not tolerate possessive/toxic behavior in real life? Or murder/violence for that matter. If yandere content makes you uncomfortable, please do block the tag 'oh sweet child of mine' as well as any variation of 'one piece yandere' that you feel is necessary.

Ya'll about to lose your damn minds and I'm not sorry.

(also, this gif is baller)

Word Count: 2,439

Ace leaned back a little as Striker sped off across the water. Ocean spray erupting in his wake as he veered towards the shoreline. Marco was checking the other nearby island while he checked this one. Discreetly.

Well… as discreetly as he could manage.

After several months of riding Teach’s ass, he knew they were close. Several times they went into a port only to find out that Teach had left only days before. Whatever crew he managed to get on such short notice was competent, Ace would admit that much. But everything he heard only made his fire burn hotter in his chest. He’d been practically spitting sparks for weeks now.

Particularly what he’d heard from Luffy.

‘They look cool. Though really tired!’

Thatch had woken up a couple of months back, though he was still strictly on bedrest. He was able to provide a better picture of what happened. As they had all suspected, you didn’t have anything to do with it. As far as Thatch could remember while bleeding out, Teach had kidnapped you with a sack. Not exactly ‘accomplice’ behavior. Thatch had also been devastated to learn that you’d been taken when he was right there.

Ace promised to bring you back home. At this point, the only reason for Teach to return was so Oyaji could personally punt him into the sea.

Ace ran Striker onto the shore and leapt out, boots digging into the sand as he jogged up the slight incline. Shards of glass breaking under his heel as he took a moment to control his temper.

He just wanted to go home already. He wanted all of this to be over with. To go back to teasing you for dodging parties and Thatch’s attempts to befriend you. Hell, he’d even take your awkward, concerned smiles for when someone tried really hard to talk to you about joining. Like they were confessing their plans to marry a sea king—actually, you’d probably be offended they thought they were worthy of Mao.

Ace sucked in a deep breath and steadied himself. Stalking through the shadows towards the center of the town. Ears primed for gossip.

“—they think I’d pay for that! Ugh!”

“—get ahold of your sister after last week? What she say?”

“—Did you see those pirates? Dragging around a slave, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised—” Ace jerked towards the voice with narrowed eyes. An older lady gossiped with someone just a little bit younger, the two engrossed with their conversation. “—That Blackbeard fellow has no shame! All those rings! And his crew were just obnoxious! I feel so bad for that slave. I wonder if calling the marines would help or if they’d just be sold again?”

“I thought slaves just had the collar and brand. I didn’t even see a brand anywhere… do you think it’s a ransom?”

“Well, you’d think he wouldn’t be carting them around if that was the case! Poor dear looked exhausted!”

Ace grit his teeth, hissing as steam curled between his lips. After a moment, he put on his best, charming smile and stepped out.

“Excuse me, ma’am? I couldn’t help but overhear you… are they still here? My friend was taken by pirates and I’ve been trying to find them for months! Thick glasses, blue bandana around their wrist?” Ace asked with wide, sad eyes. The older ladies tittered at him as expected.

“Oh! Yes, actually, though it looked like they’re using it as a bandage now. That brute doesn’t look very gentle to me, you know. Last I heard they were readying for departure on the other side of town.” She replied. Ace bowed low.

“Thank you, very much, ma’am! Ah.” Ace looked up with a wry smile. “I suggest you ladies get a bit of distance. I’m afraid I’m going to make a bit of a mess soon.”

The ladies nodded and hurried off, warning others as they went.

Ace kept his smile for a few moments longer before settling his gaze in the direction they indicated.

Ace huffed, running up a wall and grabbing onto a rooftile. Hoisting himself up to run atop the buildings for a better vantage point. The colorful clay roofing blurring as he rushed.

He leapt on top of a house, crouched down low as he sneered.

Teach stood with his crew around him, organizing barrels. You swaying on your feet a little beside him. A dull, iron bracelet connected to a chain that ran all the way to Teach’s own wrist.

Luffy was right.

You looked fucking exhausted.

Ace cupped his hand, fire pooling between his fingers as he threw it down at Teach’s feet where it exploded. More light and noise than damage.

He didn’t want to hurt you.

It would be tricky to immolate Teach with you next to him, but Ace was clever. He’d figure something out. At the very least he could keep fighting until Marco arrives.

“TEACH YOU BASTARD!”

--*--

You yelped, startled by the sudden explosion just feet from you. Teach instantly backing up with his hand gripping your arm. His face turned up towards a roof.

You followed his gaze in shock as the figure stood up. Ace screaming furiously across the distance.

“TEACH YOU BASTARD!” Rather than be intimidated in the least, Teach laughed.

“Commander! Should have known it would be you.” Teach grinned, pulling you forward a bit. “Here for something? Why not join my crew? I’m going to be a warlord soon, you know. After I turn in Straw Hat, they’ll gladly give me the position.”

You couldn’t quite see Ace well, but he seemed more furious at the suggestion than before. His fruit flaring enough that even with your exhaustion you noticed. He’d clearly been burning so hot for a while now—your obliviousness to him was just further evidence for how weak you’d gotten over the past few months.

Teach had been getting a tad… desperate to outrun his pursuers until he could manage to get the warlord title. And it seems as though his luck had run out.

“I. Would. Never.” Ace spat, launching off the room in a hail of fire and landing several feet away. “Luffy is my little brother, Teach. You’re not hurting anymore of my family.”

Teach made a surprised sound and you couldn’t blame him. They didn’t quite resemble each other, nor did they share a last name. And seeing Ace now, face etched with fury, he looked about as far from the goofy, beaming Luffy as possible.

Teach clicked his tongue.

“What a shame. You’re pretty strong, commander. We could have done great together.” Teach bemoaned playfully, like they were still crewmates having a small argument over pie flavors.

“I’m not your commander, Teach. Not after what you’ve done.” Ace’s body lit up like a bonfire, flaring high into the sky and making you look away or risk blinding yourself.

The shadows beneath your feet writhed as the light flickered over them, powered by your fruit as a cold spot developed around you. Around Teach.

“Go. None of you are strong enough to fight him—” Teach warned before one of them shot a gun at Ace. The bullets flying through harmlessly, leaving only temporary holes in the blazing fire that constituted his body. Ace’s eyes were fixed on you like dying stars. “Now!”

The crew ran as a flashover spilled out across the area, scorching the earth and singing your lungs.

You wished you had the opportunity to run yourself. Never, have you ever, wanted to fight Ace. For a lot of reasons.

Mostly a lack of desire to know what being a burned marshmallow felt like.

Teach’s free fist was coated in smoke and shadows, curling around his fingers eagerly.

Ace reeled back his fiery arm, fist clenched tight as Teach mirrored him.

Fire and living darkness rushed across the space, suddenly not nearly enough space as they collided violently. Friction lighting where they clashed as it raced upwards and out, attempting to find a weak point. You felt your body being blown back, only held in place by Teach’s firm grip as his boots dug into the earth. Despite only being connected to Teach, you could feel how hungry the fire was. Eating away the oxygen as it exploded again and again, trying to outmatch the shadows.

The final detonation was high above your head and the shockwave took you down to your knees as you gasped for air. Shaking almost as violently as their first blow, your head ringing, skin tingling with light burns. You blinked hard, eyes crying out at the relief as you looked up.

Teach’s grip on your arm was the only thing keeping you from collapsing to the ground. Dust and debris clinging to your body.

You were horrified. Only realizing now that Teach fully intended to keep you right next to him for this fight.

And you genuinely wasn’t sure you could handle being this close to any of it.

Teach grunted, bending down to wrap his arm around your middle like a sack of potatoes. You didn’t even really have time to consider how painful the position was before Ace leapt forward with a feral howl of anger.

Sparks and flame erupting around you as you could do nothing but hold onto Teach’s arm and close your eyes. Your body jerking around as the two traded blows. Teach handicapped by you, as was Ace, who clearly wasn’t quite going all out like he wanted. The air was stiflingly hot and heavy as they clashed. Fire burning through your eyelids as you tried to focus on anything but the fight.

“Zehahahaha~! What’s wrong, commander? You don’t seem to be invested!” Teach cackled before he was cut off with a pained grunt. “I was hit!?” He mumbled just over the rippling sound of fire tearing through the atmosphere.

“You’re a fucking COWARD, TEACH! PUT! THEM! DOWN!” Ace screamed like he was possessed, explosions scorching you as Teach jerked around a touch desperately.

You gasped for air, lungs burning from heat and exertion. Exhaustion filling your head with cotton as tears slipped through your closed eyes.

You… you were so fucking sick and tired of this.

All of it.

Every last fucking thing.

Sick of the fucking pirates!

Sick of your fucking devil fruit!

Sick of the clammy, creepy shadows curling around your ankles every fucking second of the day!

Your senses focused on that sensation. How much you hated it.

Fire and shadows tearing up the earth as Teach occasionally pulled in debris to single-handedly hurl at Ace. Pulled in nearly the whole town only to eject it violently at Ace.

Every move taunting and teasing your senses as it pulled on your lingering energy.

“TEEEAAAACCHH!” Ace roared, the sound distant and dull in your ears.

Your heart beat in your chest. A distant drum that steadily grew closer. Louder until it vibrated in your blood and bones.

Ba-thump!

A mirage formed behind your eyelids. Less wavering and unsteady with every beat.

Ba-thump!

A dial. Almost like a pressure gauge. The needle vibrating near the red and jumping with every attack.

Ba-thump!

You felt a foreign vibration build in your chest. Your feet digging into the broken cobblestone, muscles screaming out as you forced yourself to uncurl from around Teach’s arm.

BA-THUMP!

Your nails dug into his skin as you pivoted. One hand curled around the illusionary dial before twisting. To. Zero.

“Dial DOWN!” You screamed, the pressure of his fruit on yours reversing.

Teach spun in your bloodied grip, body flying around as you threw him over your shoulder with more strength than you thought you’d ever have. Fueled by rage and desperation to make it stop.

The chain pulled taut. Yanking you with him as you screamed, the joint popping out of place from the force of your throw.

The electric pain made your hand spasm as you ‘let go’. Body pulled across the ground and nearly slamming your face into the ruined street beneath you. Your only free hand scrapping across the broken rock, leaving a trail of blood that was shared underneath your knees and side of your ribs.

You gasped, body jerking uncontrollably away from the taut chain but only abusing your dislocated shoulder further.

It was dead silent aside from your pained gasp and a low, startled moan from Teach.

He coughed.

“…zehahahahaha—"

Then he laughed. Shadows erupting around you both as he slowly sat up.

“HAHAHAHA! ZEHAHAHAHAHA! ZEHA—”

A burning, oozing hand slammed into his head, shoving him back down with a barely registered scream. The smell of burning flesh erupting as you looked up in shock.

Teach was dead in less than a second.

Admiral Akainu kneeling over him, one arm shoved to the ground where Teach’s head used to be. His foot burning through Teach’s arm, melting him slowly as lava pooled around him. The heat waving over you at a much greater temperature than all but the most devastating of Ace’s attacks. And he was several feet away.

“…S-Sir?!” You rasped, throat burning as you tried to sit up.

Admiral Akainu jerked at the sound of your voice. His stern features flickering for a moment.

“You did well, Ensign. We only have one last thing to take care of.” Admiral Akainu stated with cold eyes. Slowly standing before walking towards you. Deliberately stepping on the chain and melting it under his shoe.

“HEY! GET AWAY FROM THEM!” Ace screamed, throwing a fireball high. Admiral Akainu flicked his hand, batting it away as he moved to kneel before you. Gently helping you up.

Still in shock, you couldn’t say anything as he braced your back and shoved your shoulder into place. You screamed, startled as pins and needles went down your arm, though otherwise the relief was immense.

You panted, utterly confused as he picked you up with one arm under your thighs, pinning your face into his suit as he sneered.

“I haven’t forgotten about you, Fire Fist.”

You trembled as the air grew hazy with an overwhelming amount of heat. The edge taken off due to your devil fruit connecting with Admiral Akainu’s.

You were so tired.

You managed to look back at Ace, worry dragging you from the edge of consciousness. He looked horrified and infuriated all at once.

You felt the tears slip down your face, almost ice cold in the heat.

There was no way Ace could survive against Admiral Akainu with his devil fruit.

Even before you got involved, it simply didn’t burn hot enough.

#one piece yandere #yandere whitebeard crew #platonic yandere #oh sweet child of mine #yandere ace #yandere blackbeard #reader insert #yandere akainu #ding dong the witch is dead #i really love the trope subversion of someone coming out of left field and ending a villain that no one planned to be there #its just so damn satisfying that the villain doesn't even get the defeat they would have wanted

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josephquinnswhore · 2 years ago

Note

Hiiii bub thank you soooo much for the request here’s another one I have (based on me)

TW: blood & commit and anxiety attack

May you please do a Pedro pascal x plus size reader where readers worst fear is blood and any time they see it the feel nauseous and go in to an anxiety attack. Basically I was sick last week and had the absolute worst tummy bug (I’m all better) and threw up so hard my nose bled that I almost passed out and had an anxiety attack. Basically do it based off what happen to me and if u can add Bella and Nico and Gabriela calling Pedro bc he is the only one to calm reader down from these panic attacks.

Thank you in advance

My Comfort

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Fem/Plus Size Reader!

Summary: you’re sick and Pedro’s called back from his luck to see you in a bad way.

Word Count: 2k

Content Warning: reader is sick, mentions of blood, panic attack, vomit.

Note: hi sun bun 🐰, I love you. We must be the same person fr cause I’ve been sick for over a month LMAO and I get so queasy when I see blood. UGH, hopefully this gives you what you need. I also throw up to the point where my throat bleeds lol it’s so fucked. 🫶🏼🥰 I made it pretty dramatic LOL. M sorry it’s short.

You told yourself you were fine, you could do the filming through the sickness. You were sipping on your water and drinking your raspberry flavoured hydralyte, even though it tasted like shit. Just to try and get yourself through the day, unable to tell yourself you’re not sick enough to show up for work. It was too important, it came before everything else in your life, well, almost everything. It was second in line to your boyfriend and co-worker, Pedro.

“You’re okay. You’re okay. Just one more scene to shoot, then you can go home.” You chanted to yourself as you look in the mirror trying to convince yourself it to be true, thinking maybe if you said it aloud it would enforce some truth. Your face was losing colour with every passing minute, and the darkness around your eyes was a clear indication that everything was far from okay, that you were not okay.

But you felt guilty, you didn’t want to let the team down by going home and delaying the episode when you had one measly scene left to shoot, you may as well just tough it out and get through it as best you could. It would maybe take a couple hours at most, you could do that! Right? You started to doubt yourself at the way your limbs started to ache and feel heavy. It hurt to hold your head upright.

You turn on the tap to the cold water, letting the water gather into your cupped hands before you bring it to your face, the coolness is refreshing, you exhale a deep breath to try and relax, patting your face dry with some paper towel and throw it into the trash bin. You could do this. You couldn’t give up.

“Hey, are you feeling okay? You don’t look so hot.” Gabriel sets a hand on your shoulder, his thick black eyebrows were nearly touching as he frowned, his dark brown eyes squinted with concern at one look of you, his hand feels like it weighs a tonne on your aching shoulder. “I-I mean you are, but, you know.” He gestures to you and you raise an eyebrow at him, you didn’t wanna have to deal with this right now-as much as you liked him.

“Dude shut it, are you okay?” Bella asks, her face strewn with concern for your well-being. You swallow your spit loudly, gulping down the clump that sits in your throat, feeling more ill with every passing second. “Um…I’m ok, I think.” you can’t decide what to say, unsure of whether you even believe your obvious and blatant lies. Bella looks to Nico and they know you’re lying, sharing a look of sympathy toward you, watching as you slightly sway as you stand still.

“Why don’t you just sit down for a second, have some water.” You nod to Nico, “thanks,” you mumble in agreement as she sets a gentle hand on your back, helping you sit, agreeing it’s a good idea. The bright lights of the set don’t help the ache in your head that’s contributing to your illness. Your eyes squint as your brain throbs at how bright it is, you blink harshly, trying to rid the ache that’s set in motion, the shadow of a headache you knew would grow into a migraine.

“Wouldn’t hurt to sit for five minutes.” You mumble in an unintelligible slur, as you feel a wave of nausea coming over you, it shakes your whole body to the core, the feeling settles uncomfortably in the pit of your stomach. Your fingers grasp your bottle shakily with the hydralyte, desperate to rid your body of the nausea setting, but it wasn’t your bottle, and it wasn’t hydralyte. It was a bottle of soft drink, the fizz of the soda causes a rift in your stomach that feels like it’s about to explode. The feeling builds and builds until it feels like it’s going to erupt, from your mouth.

“Oh my god, someone get me a bucket.” You hunch over in your seat with one arm wrapped around your stomach, the other holding your hand over your mouth, the nausea rising up your throat that you have to swallow down the first time it attempts its exit because you would’ve just spewed all over the floor on set. You heave again, this time Gabriel is holding a bucket underneath your mouth, the taste of the liquid makes your stomach ache even though it barely has time to digest.

The same coloured liquid comes out as clear, mostly bile the first few times, until the stench of the contents in the bucket circulates through your nostrils and churns your stomach again, twisting until it shoots up your throat, this one hurt your throat badly, the sting it made coming out has you unable to breathe for a few seconds, your lash line full to the brim with unshed tears, coughing violently as someone rubs a hand along your back, trying to soothe you.

You feel something dribbling from your nose and you wipe it with the back of your hand, not caring how disgusting it would seem to anyone else. You expect to see snot or mucus on your hand associated with the tears brought to your eyes from the vomiting. To your surprise you see a bright red liquid, your blood was coating your hand in a rugged line on your hand, your nose was bleeding.

“Oh shit you’re bleeding.” Nico exclaims, panic evident in her voice, inspecting your nose and handing you a tissue, the blood filled the tissue within a few seconds, the flow from your nostril not giving up. You must’ve burst a blood vessel in your nostril with how it’s pouring out of you, you start to feel dizzy at the sight of how much blood you’re losing. You pull back the tissue and feel it leaking through the tissue, your fingertips were now stained red from how profusely it was bleeding.

It starts with your hands trembling, your body becomes stiff and you can hardly hear anyone around you. Your fingers are shaking that badly you drop the bloody tissue, your nose is now free bleeding all over you and your clothes. Your breaths are rugged and panicked. The ache in your neck causes it to fall, your whole body falling forward destined to hit the ground until Gabriel catches you, sitting you on the floor, lying you on your side.

“Call Pedro back from lunch, now. And get the damn medic.” Bella demands Gabriel who stands in a panic not knowing what to do, he rushes to get his phone and makes the call to Pedro, Nico rushes away to find the medic on set while Bella stays with you. She’s knelt down beside you, trying to pry you upright but your body is stiff and unmoving other than the small underlying tremble of your body.

The medic arrives first, she’s kneeling down beside Bella to look at you, eyeing the teenager in shock at the state of you. “Hey hun can you hear me? It’s Cas I’m here to help.” You feel a warm hand on your body as she rolls you onto your back, the ache from the touch alone causes you to whimper, your eyes are strewn shut at the brightness of the room, it was all too much, you just wanted Pedro.

She pulls out of her bag a cuff, to check your blood pressure, the tightening of the cuff on your arm was pleasantly satisfying, slightly grounding you with each notch of pressure that was released. “Okay, blood pressures a little low but nothing to be worried about. Just going to check your temperature sweetie.” She moves your arm, shoving a thermometer under your armpit and waits for it to beep. She checks it and purses her lips together on a thin line.

“Baby, oh my god is she okay?” Pedro kneels down next to you, his hands are holding your cheeks, cupped in his own large hands the warmth from them makes you sweat, a result of your ever rising temperature. “Is she okay?” Pedro asks Cas, she puts the thermometer away. “She had a reading of 39.2 degrees, she’s got a fever, not sure what’s causing it though.”

“Hey baby, hey can you hear me? It’s me baby I’m here.” You could barely find the strength in you to open your eyes, eyelids squinting to protect your eyes from the brightness of the room. “Hey.” You mutter, with the last of your strength you could muster before you fall unconscious.

Pedro’s leg is bouncing the whole time he’s sat in the chair beside your bed in the hospital. The beeping of the monitor keeping your reading would sometimes make a commotion in the event of a momentary spike in blood pressure, “it’s just trying to regulate itself.” The nurse offered, which didn’t make him feel any better.

“Mr Pascal, it’s nice to meet you, I’m Dr Wrent, we’ve been doing some tests on your girlfriend here today. We’ve come to find that she’s somehow contracted a deadly stomach bug, it’s rare but not unknown, we can give some anti biotics to take home and she should be fine within the week.” The doctor put your folder and hung it on the end of the bed, “by the way, make sure you enforce that she takes a break, tell her to stop working so hard.”

“Right, I’ll do that. Thanks for everything.” Pedro sunk back into his chair and waited for you to wake up, the small sandwich and juice from the cafeteria sitting unopened as you lie peacefully.

You start to stir right when Pedro feels his eyelids drooping, begging him to close so he can have a moments rest. He hears the shuffling before his brain has the chance to fully lull him into sleep, rustling around in the front of his mind to wake up, sending an alarm throughout his body that you were finally awake.

“God baby you’re awake. You scared the shit out of everyone you know that?” As if you hadn’t felt guilty enough, the worry on His face made it worse. You couldn’t look at him, avoidant in your stare towards him, looking quite literally elsewhere until he leaned over the bed and grabbed your face in his hands, forcing you to look up at him.

“I’m sorry baby- I didn’t mean,” he takes a deep breath before continuing. “We were worried about you, why didn’t you tell someone you weren’t feeling well?” You should’ve just done that to begin with you knew, but you were too stubborn.

“I just convinced myself I should do it, I didn’t want to disappoint anyone by delaying the season for one last scene.” Pedro’s hand caresses your hair, fingers gliding through your hair as he calms you. “From now on you put yourself forward okay? Promise me.”

You pull your bottom like between your teeth, enjoying the sting it brings when you bite down too hard, “okay, I promise.”

“I’m proud of you though, you saw that blood and didn’t die, soooo.” Pedro trails off with a small laugh and you groan and roll your eyes, shoving his arm. “Don’t remind me, that’s so embarrassing.”

Pedro stands from the bed, handing you a sandwich wrapped in a paper bag, “you know I think they’re gonna put a scene of you passing out in the show.” You stop feeling back the paper bag and look at him suspiciously, “they wouldn’t want to!”

He simply shrugs, “you didn’t hear that from me, now eat. Need my baby strong.” You unwrap and bite into the sandwich, it contained all your favourite fillings and you smile, stomach feeling settled and the ache of the emptiness was now gone as you’d managed to swallow some food. You’d sure learnt a valuable lesson; Gabriel is useless when it comes to emergency situations.

#Pedro pascal #Pedro pascal x fic #Pedro pascal x reader #Pedro pascal x you #Pedro pascal x fem reader #Pedro pascal as Joel miller #Pedro pascal on the set of tlou #tlou #Pedro pascal requested fic

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nurgletwh · 1 year ago

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*pokes head up*

*sees the world still exists*

Huh. Look at that.

On a more serious note, having essentially dropped off the face of the earth from the perspective of almost everyone who's following me here or my works on AO3, I am alive. This was not in any great danger of changing any more than the normal (one can always get hit by a bus, for example), but it turns out I haven't been well.

My first clues probably should have been long before I found myself sleeping eighteen hours a day for 'no damn good reason,' but since there were also some extremely difficult and terrifying weeks at work and the stress that goes with it, it crept up on me.

Unlike previous times I've disappeared, it wasn't related to my mental health this time. Not that it's any better, really, because it turns out that my diabetes was creeping out of control. I wasn't monitoring the way I should have been, and I missed a doctor's appointment without rescheduling (which is terrible when you have ADHD, because fucking remembering to call someone to reschedule is damn near impossible).

Anyhow.

It turns out that chronic high blood sugar makes a person feel all sorts of crappy in vague and indistinct ways that, in and of themselves, don't really trigger a sense of 'something is wrong, I should see a doctor.' It just leaves me feeling 'bleah' and 'ugh' and unable to do anything but sleep when I stop moving.

I am so far behind on anything and everything fun. I owe everyone who has a pending comment on my works a deep and heartfelt apology. I didn't mean to disappear. I know several of you have been worried, and it turns out at least semi-rightfully so. Not that there was much any of you could do about it, which really just makes it feel worse. I apologize for any stress and worry this may have caused. I can't promise to never do it again, unfortunately, because I am:

a) human b) a human with ADHD, and c) a human who is horrible at keeping up with communication the way she should.

I want to do better; I will try to do better. I have actually managed to continue writing, albeit at an exceptionally reduced rate. That's picked up markedly in the last week or so now that my meds have been adjusted. Hopefully, it continues to pick up. However, I don't think things are quite where they need to be based on my personal blood sugar testing, but it's a strong improvement. I still don't have much energy, but when I get home after work and sit down, I only sleep for forty-five minutes to an hour, not four followed by crawling into bed for the night and still not feeling rested in the morning.

I hope to start working my way through my inbox on AO3. If you're following me here and see this before I get to your comment, hi! ♥ Know that I have read them all and they give me sparks of joy to think about, but I have been very emphatically squashing any guilt at my non-response for now. Feeling guilty is a potent anti-motivator for someone with ADHD. It makes a growing mountain that I can run away from like an Olympic sprinter, which means that the only way I will successfully get back on track is to not feel guilty or compelled, which is the opposite of how it works for many folk.

I also seem to have gotten into some fucked-up screwy mindset where my brain is telling me I have to have something ready to post (or nearly so) before I can answer comments now. Which is just... wrong. So very, very wrong. I'm working on that, too. Blood sugar fixing first, however.

Take care, everyone. I've definitely been thinking about all of you and have seriously missed having the conversations and speculations that go with successfully generating writing but also require successfully responding to comments. It's been a seriously sucky couple of months; here's hoping things improve.

♥

#personal stuff #my health #my life #mental health stuff

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janetbrown711 · 2 years ago

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I Have a Couple Hundred Thoughts Running Through My Brain

Tang hasn't been doing well since his finals and his doctoral program applications went out, but agreed to go with Pigsy and his family + the kids to see the New Years Fireworks (even though he hates fireworks and is stressed out of his mind). Surely all will go as planned.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 8.5 Part 9 Part 10 Part 10.5 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

Ao3 Link

Tang was the most normal anyone could have possibly ever been in the history of being normal.

He definitely wasn’t sweating through his damn scarf with anxiety as he wandered down to the lobby of his apartment complex four times an hour just to check if he’d been accepted into a doctorate program.

It had been a difficult month– so difficult in fact he actually pondered looking up actual study methods that weren’t just cramming– desperate times indeed.

His finals were a mess, but he managed to scrape by with mostly B+s and only one C, so that was good.

Good enough for grad programs though..?

Tang didn’t know, and he felt mortal terror every time he tried to figure that out.

But alas, that was not the only thing on his mind, because tonight was Lunar New Years, and he was going to meet Pigsy’s parents again, and therefore had to tear through his closet in an attempt to find something that would leave a… better impression than the last time they’d met.

Ugh, Tang still cringed at the memory of it all.

No matter– he was just going to do better this time– simple as that.

…Better was possible, it had to be. Tang could be better– after all, if Mr. and Mrs. Zhu already think he’s rude, then that means it can only go up from there… right?

…

Tang was going to die tonight.

With many breathing exercises, Tang selected the same scarf he always wore, plus the tang suit he had worn on his and Pigsy's official first date because– well– he’d like to say it was because it had some deep meaning, but really it was because it was the only one he owned. Besides, he looked… kinda nice in it. If he combed his hair right– which he would’ve normally but lost too many prongs the other day and the poor thing had to finally be put to rest.

Which meant he was sticking with wild hair tonight.

Yayyyy….

Tang looked himself over in the mirror and almost pondered not wearing his glasses so he wouldn’t have to confront the fact he looked like he hadn’t slept or eaten in three weeks (which he had-! Technically. Most days, anyways). He couldn’t though– he had made a promise to Pigsy and he was going to fulfill it to the best of his abilities dammit– especially after receiving such a cryptic text the other day…

Free Food <3 : When are you visiting the restaurant again?

(Tang) : Have 1 test 2mor so after new years

Free Food <3 : Oh ok

(Tang) : R u ok?

Free Food <3 : Tired.

(Tang) : Want 2 talk?

Free Food <3 : No. See you at new years.

(Tang) : c u @ New Years, <3 u

Free Food <3 : ❤️

It wasn’t helped that Pigsy didn’t stop by for the next three days, and that he messaged it on career day, which was something he’d dreaded. Shame it went poorly, but there was nothing Tang could do now except make this night marvelous and perfect.

Now was the time to relax and enjoy the festivals and all that– this was fine! It was going to be great!

…It was going to be great.

With a sigh, Tang shoved his phone, keys, and barely-not-empty wallet into his pants pocket and headed out of his apartment.

Immediately Tang was bombarded with the sounds of street music, firecrackers, and salesmen trying to give rat themed trinkets and bamboo to burn to any tourist or child who walked by, so naturally Tang just kept his eyes forward as he struggled his way further downtown.

He was stopped by about five dragon dances and three groups of children in rat ears running in front of him, but thankfully the scholar made his way to the subway and was able to jump over the turnstile without getting caught by guards and wait for his train in the overcrowded and absurdly humid underground tunnel.

People bumped into the scrawny scholar about seven times before his train to the upper east arrived and Tang scrambled for a seat to let his ankles rest while they could. There was more singing and loud music on the train, as there was a group with a ruan singing Gong Xi, which was normally fine enough, but Tang found them particularly loud tonight.

Still, after three stops Tang handed a couple yuan over and waved goodbye before heading straight to Pigsy’s place.

…Tang hated rich neighborhoods, it brought back memories he was trying to forget. Not to mention, he definitely didn’t belong, looking the way he did right now.

Deep breaths, Tang, deep breaths.

He was glad Pigsy’s apartment complex was a lot quieter on the inside than the outside, and while he didn’t love dealing with security, he was glad to be in the elevator and riding up in silence.

Be normal, Tang. You are going to be the most normal you have ever been, ever. Simple. Easy. Be normal.

The elevator dinged for Tang’s arrival and so after taking a few more deep breaths, he knocked on the door.

Be. Normal.

The door swung open alarmingly quick, and where his Pigsy should’ve been, a much, much taller–

Ah- yes.

“H-hello, Mr. Zhu,” Tang bowed a little, though didn’t know why and cringed at himself.

Pigsy’s father looked down on him before snorting and stepping aside.

“Haha, thank you– sir,” Tang smiled as he stepped inside, which was when he noticed that Mrs. Zhu was playing piano, with MK by her side singing songs.

“Didn’t bring anything?” Mr. Zhu startled the poor scholar, who practically tripped over himself.

“I-i– not this time– I-i brought the wine and lotus for the mid-autumn festival though-! This time money’s just been not happening because of school and really–”

“Pops, is that Tang?” Tang heard his savior call from the kitchen, and Tang took the opportunity to sprint away.

“Hey you– two-!” He said, regarding Mei standing over a pot of noodles and stirring with a wooden ladle, who smiled at him.

“Tang– it’s good to see you,” Pigsy hugged Tang before immediately letting go and inspecting his face. “What happened to you? You’re practically skin and bone!”

“Ahhh, you’re just exaggerating,” Tang tried to brush off.

“Your hair is– well, it certainly ain’t bad– but it’s different too,” Pigsy noted with a slight blush. “Are you okay? Have you been okay?”

“Y-yeah! What about you– you seem to have a lot going on for promising dinner would just be quick before we head out,” Tang looked around.

“Partly Ma’s fault– but I– well… I dunno, I thought maybe it’d been awhile since– bah, nevermind,” Pigsy shook his head and checked on some spring rolls.

“He missssed youuuuuuuuuuuuu,” Mei ‘whispered’, getting her a look from Pigsy that made her laugh more.

“I– yes. I’ve… missed you,” He half mumbled.

Tang laughed, “It’s okay, I missed you too,” he teased, making Pigsy blush harder as he really really checked on those spring rolls, making Mei laugh more.

Tang paused, looking at her, then at Pigsy, then at her again before shaking his head.

The girl was seven– she couldn’t– like– know. Heck– she probably didn’t even know gay people existed. He was being crazy when he needed to be normal.

Be. Normal.

“So… MK and your mom, huh? What’re they doing playing piano together?” Tang asked, taking a seat on a stool at the kitchen island.

“Ma was talkin’ all about how she and my Nana used to play and how I’d– uh– also play,” Pigsy clearly lied, much to Tang’s suspicion.

“Really?” The scholar decided to push.

“Ha, yep,” Pigsy moved on to checking on how Mei was doing with the noodles.

“What notes and fingerings are in the D Major Scale?” Tang asked, and the demon froze.

“I– uh… d-.... D?” Pigsy tried, and Tang laughed.

“You never played piano! What are you hiding from me?” He laughed.

“Nothing-! Er– nothing important, anyways, I don’t really– it’s not relevant– maybe some other time,” Pigsy waved that off and Mei jumped off her stepping stool to join Tang.

“He wouldn’t tell us either. Said he hadn’t been around a piano in years so no point in bringing ‘it’ up now since he was out of practice,” Mei informed the scholar.

“Interesting,” Tang stroked his chin just to tease his easily flustered partn–boyfr–

Shit– Did they have a label yet??? Or were they just “dating”? Has it been long enough? It had been five months– that felt kind of long. But was it enough….

“So… why’s MK interested?” Tang switched back the conversation to his original curiosity.

“Oh, well… I don’t know,” The chef scratched the back of his neck. “I think kid just likes the sound and feeling of pressing the keys, and of course Ma’ll take any opportunity to try and revive her piano teachin’ days.”

“Aw, that’s sweet,” Tang commented. “What about you Mei? You got any instrumental interests?”

“I can play the guqin, erhu, and a little bit of dizi,” Mei shrugged. “Wasn’t really my thing, but if I had to pick, guqin was the most interesting.”

“Ah– parents force you into lessons?” Tang pitied as the girl nodded. “It’s okay– my parents made me learn guqin when I was a kid, and guzheng when I was older.”

“Yeesh– I don’t think I could handle that many strings,” Mei shook her head.

“Oh trust me, I couldn’t either– that’s why they kicked me out of the orchestra,” Tang laughed. “I did always fancy the erhu though– you’re gonna have to give me tips one day.”

“Oh– okay!” Mei seemed pleasantly surprised by the suggestion, meaning Tang had won at least one conversation today (something normal to want and possible to achieve), meaning he could relax a bit.

Only a bit though, as Mr. Zhu walked in and went to the couch shortly after.

Pigsy noticed this and scoffed, “Don’t mind ‘im, he’s just here cuz Ma’s here.”

His father huffed in contempt before lighting a cigar that had been in his coat pocket.

Pigsy growled, but said nothing.

“Sooo… you excited for the fireworks, Mei?” Tang asked, successfully changing the rapidly declining energy in the room, as Mei rambled and rambled and rambled until Pigsy announced it was time and dinner was served.

And wowza– Tang thought he was going to pass out at the large swarms of food around him– everything from spring rolls to duck to dumplings to the yi mian looked amazing, which he of course expected from Pigsy but… yeah, wowza.

“Jiejie, your little guest looks like he’s going to faint,” Mrs. Zhu teased Tang as she grabbed herself some spring rolls.

“Ma, please,” Pigsy gave her a look.

“No, no– she’s right– this is– wow– it looks amazing sw– Pigsy,” Tang panic smiled.

“I– uh– thanks,” Pigsy blushed a little before clearing his throat, “Anyone want the yi mian?”

“I do!!” MK waved his hand excitedly.

“Too bad,” Pigsy winked and served himself some.

“Ah beans,” MK crossed his arms.

Tang laughed, “MK, it’s a lazy susan, just grab what’s in front of you.”

“Oh right yeah,” MK face palmed and scooped some rice for himself then Mei.

The second food was able to hit Tang’s lips, he just about melted into a puddle in his seat– right before his hunger kicked in and he started just about scarfing it all down.

Mrs. Zhu laughed at that again, this time asking, “Pigsy, are you sure this fellow of yours isn’t actually a pig demon?”

“M-ma!!” Pigsy exclaimed while Tang choked on his food.

“Oh! Right– that’s rude isn’t it? Hm,” His mother shook it off jovially while Pigsy patted Tang’s back.

“Fellow? What’s a fellow?” MK looked at Pigsy and Tang.

“Friend, MK. It just means friend,” Pigsy sighed as Tang regained composure.

“Oh right– my mistake,” Mrs. Zhu looked at Pigsy and Tang once over before shrugging to herself, sending a wave of panic down Tang.

Normal, Tang. Act normal, think normal, be normal.

Especially because Mr. Zhu is looking right at you ahahahahhaahahhaha—

Tang kept his eyes forward and ate at his best attempt of a normal pace to eat food (though certainly chugged a bit of the jiao wine).

Tang sighed a massive breath of relief when dinner finally came to an end, and Tang could excuse himself to the restroom, where he promptly stared at himself in the mirror.

“Okay Tang, you survived dinner,” He whispered to himself. “Now all you gotta do is survive fireworks. Easy peasy. Totally chill and normal and pbbt– whatever.”

Oh god, he was totally tipsy.

Well… it was better than completely drunk, so Tang would just have to roll with it.

“Tang? You–uh– alright in there?” Pigsy knocked on the door, causing Tang to jump and knock over some soap.

“I-i– yes! It’s fine! I’m fine! Thanks Pigsy,” Tang panicked to fix it before looking at himself in the mirror.

What a mess.

He cleaned his glasses, mumbling the whole time before seeing if that made him look any better and– yeah, nope. Nothing could save him now.

Welp. Here goes nothing.

He opened the door, greeted by a worried looking Pigsy, who examined him up and down.

“Are you okay?” He asked bluntly.

“Of course, Pigsy. Now c’mon– I don’t think I heard Mei say she wanted to see a lion dance,” He took Pigsy’s hand with zero hesitation and headed for the door.

“I– uh– okay,” Pigsy laughed but only a little.

“UGH– can we go now? I don’t wanna miss a lion danceeeee,” Mei complained.

“Told ya,” Tang snorted, stumbling a little.

“Right– everyone got coats?” Pigsy rolled his eyes with a smile. MK and Mei nodded, but that made Tang pause because he most certainly did not.

Tang thought perhaps Pigsy wouldn’t notice, but then MK loudly pointed out he didn’t and all eyes were on him.

“Tang– it’s new years, where’s your coat?” Pigsy looked around.

Mrs. Zhu tilted her head. “Do you not have one, dear?”

Mr. Zhu just looked at him.

“Ah– it’s fine, it’s all fine– I don’t need one– I am very resistant to cold actually,” Tang lied with the kind of confidence that could only arise with intoxication.

“Then why do you wear a scarf all the time?” MK tilted his head.

“That is purely a… fashion statement,” He lied again.

“Ah geez, I’d offer you one of mine, Tang, but uh… I don’t think they’d fit,” Pigsy scratched his neck.

“It’s fine, Pigsy, really,” He smiled at the demon.

“If you say so,” Pigsy looked him up and down again before shaking his head. “Let's roll out then.”

And roll out they did, right into the bustling and unreasonably loud streets of uppercrust Megapolis. Lights and lanterns and fire were decorating nearly every corner, as well as people selling flowers, jade souvenirs, and rat themed memorabilia, just as it had been on his way up, but these ones were even more overpriced.

“Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Can I get a rat plushie Pigsy? Can I? Can I? Can I?” Mei jumped up and down and pointed to a stall.

“I– uh–”

“Oh I’ll buy one for you dear,” Mrs. Zhu interrupted her son and suddenly she and Mei were off.

“Uh… okay,” Pigsy blinked. “You want anything MK?”

MK looked around and shrugged. “Call me when it's the year of the monkey.”

Tang laughed. “That won’t be for awhile, MK.”

“Ah beans,” MK crossed his arms and looked at the stuffed animals again before shaking his head again. “I’m fine. Don’t need one.”

“Alright, let me know if you change your mind,” Pigsy accepted and they waited for Mei, who returned with not only a plushie, but rat eats, stick on whiskers, a keychain, and two sparklers.

Something about that… struck Tang. He couldn’t say what or why, but there was now a void in his chest he hadn’t previously been aware of.

Normal, Tang. Be normal.

“Sooooo– anyone interested in seeing any–” Tang was interrupted by the deafening sound of teenagers lighting firecrackers on the street nearby, causing Tang to run his fingers against his scarf and wince.

“Ooo! I wanna light firecrackers!” MK shouted. “Can we get some of those Pigsy?”

“Yeah that’s gonna be a no,” Pigsy cringed and guided them closer to where a lion dance was getting started.

The kids seemed satisfied, but all Tang could think about was all of the loud instruments and cracking and screaming as it all started to just swirl in his brain. That, combined with the half-frozen rain beginning to fall, and a bad feeling in his stomach made for a rather unpleasant experience for the poor scholar. Not that he’d let anyone know this, of course– that’d be just beyond rude. And Tang wasn’t rude. He was pleasant. He was nice.

He was normal.

Besides, it was still fun to watch the truly admirable talent of the dancers as the tail ends would lift the heads to show the lion “standing on its hind legs” and then watch it jump from platform to platform, while moving in perfect sync. Heck– it brought back memories to when he had told his mother he wanted to be a lion dancer when he was older, but she had said–

…

Tang kept watching.

At one point, a bubble machine turned on and suddenly MK and Mei were both running around trying to pop them while also cheering on the dancers, and Tang just kind of looked around to see if there was anywhere to sit, as his ankle was starting to flare up. However, before he could get a chance, confetti poppers went off as the lions unfurled banners in their mouths calling for good fortune and for a prosperous new year, which made everyone clap and cheer. Tang wanted to pull his ears off, but clapped along nonetheless.

At least it meant the dance was over and MK and Mei arrived with fistfulls of confetti.

“Pigsy! Can I keep this?!” MK showed the confetti to his guardian.

“Kid, you aren’t gonna remember where you got that from in a week,” Pigsy shook his head, “it’s best to just toss it out.”

“Awww, but it’s so pretty! And it’ll just go in the trash!” MK whined.

“That’s the life of confetti for you,” Pigsy shrugged. “C’mon, the fireworks are gonna start soon and I want us to find a good spot.”

Finally sitting down, thank goodness.

“Oh-! But first…” Mrs. Zhu winked at the children before running off to another stall, making her husband roll his eyes.

MK blinked. “What’s she getting?”

Pigsy sighed, “Probably somethin’ nobody needs.”

Tang didn’t know if it’d be rude to agree but he sure wanted to with how much he was starting to get a headache and ankle ache and everything ache. But no, Tang was trying to make a good impression and just kept running his hands on his scarf over and over and over again.

He really wanted this night to end already.

Mrs. Zhu didn’t seem like she would return for awhile though, making Pigsy on edge while Tang tried rocking back and forth to see if it would relieve any of his anxiety or aches, but nothing was working which only caused it to increase while they all just stood there wishing they could be sitting down.

When Mrs. Zhu returned though, it was clear what took her so long– as she was holding two bouquets of chrysanthemums with either a little jade monkey and dragon attached and a little note card with fancy calligraphy.

“Ah– Ma, that’s… very kind,” Pigsy grimaced.

“Jiayi, you’re going to spoil them,” Mr. Zhu said his longest sentence of the night with a huff.

“Oh you hush now, Hangleng,” Mrs. Zhu waved him off and handed the bouquets to the children, leaving poor Mei struggling with all her merchandise.

Pigsy sighed. “Here Mei– I’ll carry some,” he offered, and the girl sloppily handed over literally everything except the unlit sparklers, which she noticed.

“Piggy, can we light these?” Mei asked.

Pigsy was clearly prepared for this, looking up in dramatic thought before suddenly sucking air through his teeth, “Sorry kiddo, but you need a lighter for those and I don’t have one on me.”

“Ah nuts,” Mei kicked the ground.

“Sorry kiddo, maybe next year you can use the dangerous sparklers,” Pigsy patted her back when suddenly Mr. Zhu reached into his pocket and brought out his lighter.

“Woah– really?” Mei’s face lit up, meanwhile Pigsy looked like he was going to kill his dad, to a still sort of tipsy Tang’s amusement.

Mr. Zhu just rolled his eyes and Mei took the lighter.

“Ack– here– how’s about I just–” Pigsy sighed in frustration over his own lack of hands.

“Here– hand it to me Mei,” Tang offered instead, which Pigsy still wasn’t loving but Mei handed it over and Tang flicked it on with ease.

One by one MK and Mei lit their sparklers, and the pair instantly became mesmerized.

“This is the coolest thing ever!” MK’s grin was so wide it looked like it might fall off his face, making Tang laugh.

“Just don’t touch it– it’s still fire,” Pigsy warned.

“Psssssshhhhhhhhhhh, I’m a dragon, I think I’ll be fine,” Mei proudly proclaimed, trying to draw a star with the light.

After that the two of them tried spelling their names and drawing animals, but mostly just drew scribbles while the adults tried to usher them to a designated firework watching area– though they were already starting to get rather full.

“Ah nuts!” Mei cursed as her sparkler went out and she immediately turned and ran to her guardian. “Piggy, can I get another one?”

“No.” Pigsy huffed, giving a look to his parents.

“Man,” Mei kicked rocks and MK did too as his also went out.

“Oh come on, Jiejie, it wouldn’t hurt them,” His mother disagreed, looking around.

“Ma, please don’t run off again,” Pigsy gave his mother a look.

“Don’t back talk your mother, Bajie,” His father fought back and alarms started ringing in Tang’s head.

“Ah– guys, maybe let’s just go sit down and–” Tang tried to intercede, but Mei interrupted him.

“Oh! oh! They’re selling fa gao! Pigsy can we–” Mei loudly proclaimed before MK interrupted her too and soon it was all just a hot mess of everyone talking at the same time except Tang who was standing around like a total dolt and was completely out of touch for where his role was supposed to be in the dynamic. It was like he could hear but couldn’t at the same time– especially as drums were blaring and kids were yelling and people were talking on microphones and–

An ear piercing whistling sound broke above all the noise though, interrupting Tang’s train of thought/panic until a loud pop arrived, with many crackling sounds afterwards– meaning the fireworks had started.

Great– great, great, great, great was all Tang could think as he suddenly started rocking back and forth as he pulled harder and harder on his scarf. It at least stopped the arguing (thank the great sage) but that didn’t stop the chills from running across Tang’s body and his burning desire to somehow get out of here– but he couldn’t because he was being normal, dammit.

“That’s what– ugh,” Pigsy rubbed his forehead, before turning to Tang and having to take a step back. “Woah there– are you– okay?” Pigsy immediately worried.

“What? No– no, I’m fine! Really, haha,” He lied, his hands moving faster as his eyes darted to the sky where another firework went off, causing him to cover his ears instinctively.

“Ma? Pops? Can you watch MK and Mei a second? Pigsy asked.

“What-?! No! I’m fine Pigsy! Y-you don’t– your parents are guests! Th-they should be–” Tang was going to protest more but more fireworks went off and he wanted nothing more than to shrivel up and die.

“We’ll watch them dear, you take him back home,” Mrs. Zhu patted her son's arm as Mr. Zhu looked Tang over for the fifty millionth time.

“Whaaaat? You’re leaving?” MK looked at Tang with childlike heartbreak.

“I-i– ah–” He tried to remove his hands from his ears, but another firework went off.

“C’mon Tang,” Pigsy tried to take his arm, but Tang snatched it away– before realizing that wasn’t normal and he was being a freaking weirdo right now and– he was supposed to be impressing Pigsy’s parents– why was he like this-? Why couldn’t he just–

Another boom had Tang nearly jump out of his own damn skin, which was followed by a bigger headache and more pain and confusion and Taang knew he needed to go home if he didn’t want to make a complete and total embarrassment out of himself.

He looked back at Pigsy, who didn’t know what to do– he even looked a little heartbroken, which only made Tang feel worse, but well– he needed his help– he was not going to make it through these crowds alone, that was for sure.

“Tang..?” Pigsy asked though, and Tang managed to focus on him– though his hands returned to running along his scarf.

“L-lets– uh– go home,” Tang managed to say, wincing as another firework was set off. Pigsy more carefully offered an arm this time, and Tang took it and clung to it like a lifeboat.

The pair didn’t talk, even as they got further and further from the group, as Pigsy just silently patted his arm whenever another firework went off or a gong crashed or any other sudden noise occurred. Tang felt like such a child for needing such comfort, but was thankful to have it anyways– he didn't deserve Pigsy sometimes.

When they arrived at Pigsy’s place, the bright lights made Tang hiss as he entered, and out of instinct he went straight to the bathroom, closing the door and turning off the light to just sit in the dark for a little bit, trying his best not to worry about Pigsy pacing just outside the door.

After a minute or so though, Pigsy knocked quietly.

“Y-y-yes?” Tang managed to talk despite feeling too exhausted for speech.

“Do you– uh… want tea or something? Pigsy asked.

“Yeah that sounds… nice,” Tang agreed and he heard Pigsy shuffle away and in and out of rooms.

Ugh, Tang was such a loser. What was this? A highschool party? He should’ve been over all this– whatever it was. He was an adult and doctoral program applicant. His parents said it was just nerves when he got like this– was this nerves? It was nerves, right? Nerves plus alcohol maybe. But nerves for sure.

It took about five minutes for Tang to realize his heart had stopped pounding and his thoughts were mostly normal– if far and few between– though that also made him realize he was exhausted.

Fun.

He remained in the bathroom for another five or so minutes before he decided it was time to emerge from the cold dark bathroom and back into reality.

When he opened the door he was surprised to find the lights were a lot dimmer than before– maybe Pigsy had one of those fancy dimmers right people houses could have.

Either way, what a relief.

It was also rather toasty, which was good because while the bathroom was refreshing, his sweat mixed with rain water made his clothes cling to him and he was absolutely freezing by now.

When he got to the kitchen, he saw Pigsy had taken off his own jacket and Tang suit, revealing just a thick white tank top that he wore under, making Tang blush as he stared for just a moment.

After a while he shook out of it and noticed the demon also had a thick fluffy blue robe laid over a stool along with a bottle of ibuprofen.

“Is… that for me?” Tang asked curiously.

“Oh-! I– uh– thought you might want to take off your shirt since it’s all– uh– wet and stuff– but only if you’re comfortable,” Pigsy confessed, which made Tang laugh a little.

“Thanks,” he smiled at Pigsy tiredly before going over to it and taking off his shirt (which had no tank top underneath) before instantly regretting it when he heard Pigsy make a worried noise.

“Ah– um– Sorry– it’s just– how well have you been eatin’ these three weeks? You’re– skinnier.” The chef apologized as Tang quickly put on the robe.

“Well it's– um–” Tang didn’t turn around, even after he was very wrapped up in the massive robe that was a borderline blanket on him.

Tang sighed. “It’s harder during finals because I don’t have time for surveys or whatever when I need to cram for exams.”

“Tang, you should’ve told me,” Pigsy said softly.

“I know, I know– I… know,” Tang fiddled with the robe’s belt. “It’s just… embarrassing, sometimes.”

“Yeah, I can get that. But still, I’m nothing if not your free food supplier, so you shouldn’t feel bad for asking– especially if you really do need it,” The demon pointed out as Tang took a seat at the island once more.

“You’re more than a food supplier Pigsy,” Tang defended himself.

“I didn’t mean it like that– I meant it more like ‘you can always ask’ kind of way– you know?” Pigsy’s face flushed.

“Yeah, I do,” Tang chuckled a little, making Pigsy blush more before he finally took in the sight of the human in his robe and laughed.

“That thing is swallowing you alive,” He said as the kettle started to squeal and he quickly turned it off.

“Ha– yeah,” Tang noticed it too. “It’s nice though– makes me feel all cozy,” he hugged himself a little for emphasis.

“Glad my size could be of service to you,” Pigsy joked, pouring hot water into two mugs.

“Oh please, your size is always serving me,” Tang wiggled his eyebrows, making Pigsy turn red as a tomato in seconds, making the scholar burst into laughter.

“You really do get flustered easily! That’s fun,” Tang laughed more as Pigsy rolled his eyes and looked through his tea selection.

“Yeah, yeah– what kind do you want?” He asked, clearly trying not to think about the comment.

“Oolong.”

“Smart,” Pigsy winked and pulled out two bags and promptly began brewing them.

Silence filled the kitchen, and Tang was left back with his more… uncomfortable thoughts.

“Do you… think your parents like me?”

Wow Tang, really smooth. What a question. You are the king of self confidence.

“I think I’ve certainly dated far worse people,” Pigsy snorted, before adding– “not that I’ve told them we’re dating, of course.”

“Right, yes,” Tang laughed a little, though tension still didn’t leave his shoulders and he rubbed the robe belt between two fingers.

Pigsy looked at him and brought the mug over. “Does their opinion matter to you?”

“I– well– this sounds really stupid, but all day the only thing I’ve been really thinking about is impressing your parents but right now everything is just such a mess– especially back at my place– so I–” Tang sighed. “Yes. It matters a lot.”

“Oh…” Pigsy half-whispered as he sat next to him on a stool. “I… they do like you, I’m sure of that much– Pop’s is just like that around everyone.”

“Oh I can believe that,” Tang joked and took a sip of tea, embracing the warmth as it traveled through his body.

“Yeah, and Ma– well… she just kinda says things a lot and I’m pretty sure she only ever means twenty percent,” Pigsy shrugged and took a sip too.

“Better than a mom who rarely talks at all,” Tang shrugged.

“Yeah, probably,” The chef agreed.

Tang listened a bit more to the distant sound of fireworks and crowds cheering below as he took another long sip of tea.

“I’m sorry for acting so weird today. I swear it was just because I wanted to impress your parents– no other reason,” He said, eyeing the ibuprofen.

“Yeah, no, I get it,” Pigsy smiled softly. “Plus I get weird around lights and sounds sometimes too. Heck– my ma used to complain about how I wouldn’t like particular blankets or pants because I said they “felt yucky” – whatever that means,” he snorted.

Tang laughed too. “Yeah– I’m normally better though, but I guess today– holidays like this in general, too– are just… difficult sometimes.”

“Yeah, maybe next year we’ll just stay inside,” Pigsy suggested.

“Next year?” Tang blinked.

That made the chef sit a little straighter. “What? Do you think you won’t want to be here next year or–”

“Oh– heavens no-! I just mean– I– you’d want me here next year?” Tang quickly clarified.

“Of course– Tang, I want you to visit every year,” Pigsy placed a hand on Tang’s shoulder, stroking it with his thumb.

“O-oh– then– yeah, that’d be nice,” it was now Tang’s turn to blush a deep shade of red and he quickly went back to his tea, which he swore felt like was healing every fiber of his being.

“...Tang?” Pigsy asked, tapping his fingers against his mug.

“Yes?”

“Do… do you like dating and being with… me?” Pigsy asked quietly.

“Of course I do! I love every second being with you– you’re so wonderful and brave and strong and handsome and– heavens, I’m rambling,” Tang caught himself as Pigsy chuckled.

“Good, I was just– wondering,” The demon looked away.

“Why?”

“You… I dunno, you seem to think you won’t be around here long,” Pigsy shrugged.

“Oh– I didn’t mean it like that– I just–...”

“...You just what?”

‘I just don’t know what the heck we are yet.’

Tang drank more of his tea before glancing at Pigsy, who was looking back at him worriedly.

With a deep breath, Tang mustered all of the courage inside himself to ask– “Are we… like… boyfriends?”

“What? Of course,” Pigsy blinked. “Did… we not agree on that before?”

Tang blinked before bursting into laughter, almost spilling his tea as he did.

“Oh heavens me– here I’ve been all worried about if you wanted to be ‘official’ and here you are already thinking we are,” the scholar had to hold his sides.

“Fuck– we really didn’t say that then, did we,” Pigsy was deeply embarrassed. “Man, I’m sorry– I have no idea where I got that from.”

“No-! No, it’s fine, really,” Tang assured with a big smile. “I just– it’s funny now that it’s in retrospect.”

“Ah, that’s good,” Pigsy relaxed and laughed a little too. “Had me scared there for a second too.”

“Now we’re even,” Tang grinned as he took another sip.

“That’s for sure,” The demon laughed a bit more.

Tang smiled at the sentiment for only a minute, before something else crawled to the forefront of his mind.

"Pigsy–” Tang blurted, instantly getting the chef’s attention.

Fuck– he hadn’t meant to actually get his attention, but now…

“Do you think I’m… normal?”

"What… do you mean?" Pigsy tilted his head a little.

"I-i… I don't know," Tang looked down at his half empty mug. "Sometimes I just– I feel like somethings wrong with me but I can't say what or why or how– it's like I can't help it…"

"Tang, I don't think anything's wrong with you," Pigsy reached his hand towards the scholar.

Tang winced a little. “I… thanks, but… I don’t know,” he sighed.

Pigsy chewed on his lip a bit before sighing. “Look, even if you aren’t “normal”, that doesn’t make you less than, you know? You’re every bit a person as anyone else, and anyone’d be lucky to have you in their life,” Pigsy’s hand inched closer.

“Like my parents?” Tang muttered.

“Like Me n’ MK n’ Mei, Tang,” Pigsy finally touched Tang’s hand.

“I-i don’t know– I’m not really– like– you’re a total natural at this parent thing, you know that?” Tang tried to brush off.

“Tang, the kids are lucky to have you in their lives. It’s good for them to have a human in their life that’s a bit odd– it’s healthy,” Pigsy insisted.

“I… guess,” Tang shrugged. “I just– I’m not– I wish things were just… easier, sometimes. Like– even doing things like talking or looking people in the eyes– it’s al stupid difficult and it isn’t for most people and I just–” Tang took a breath.

“I just wish I could be normal so that your parents would like me and I wouldn’t feel like a dolt around the kids so often and even around you sometimes,” He sort of chuckled, but it was more out of anxiety than anything.

“But that’s what makes you you, Tang, and I wouldn’t change that for the world,” Pigsy gave his hand a squeeze.

Tang squeezed right back, but didn’t say anything, drinking more tea with his free hand.

Another thought.

“What if one day, I– I just– what if it’s too much? What if even you don’t wanna deal with it– what if I-i just end up driving you crazy? What then?” Tang’s voice cracked.

“That won’t happen, Tang.”

“You don’t know that,” He let go of Pigsy’s hand.

He seemed to successfully corner Pigsy at that for a moment, as the chef went quiet in contemplation while Tang waited to see what he’d say next (if anything at all).

Probably not. Tang usually ruined these kinds of things– mostly unintentionally. Great.

“Tang, I’m not normal. You realize that?” The chef suddenly asked.

“I– what?” Tang was set back.

“Tang, I’m literally a demon.”

“I– yeah, but–”

“No ‘but’s. If you’re weird, I’m weird,” He argued. “And weirdos like us belong together.”

Tang looked at Pigsy, taking in his soft expression before kissing his cheek, which Pigsy responded to by kissing him on the lips, which Tang responded by hugging him tight, which startled the demon.

Pigsy didn’t say anything though, stroking his back in a soothing rhythm as Tang felt himself begin to melt in his arms.

Pigsy always felt so safe– Tang didn’t know why he tended to hesitate. He loved him– he loved him deeply.

He wanted to stay like this forever.

“Pigsy, I don’t want to go home,” Tang confessed.

“You don’t have to,” Pigsy instantly assured.

Tang kissed him again.

“I want to stay here tonight, Pigsy,” Tang repeated.

“Okay,” Pigsy kissed him again.

“Can I..?” Tang asked and it was then the chef’s face lit with recognition.

“O-of course-! If you–uh– want to,” Pigsy cleared his throat a bit.

Tang laughed a little, kissing him once more and trying to get off the stool, only to be instantly reminded of how much his legs– more specifically his ankles– hurt.

“Ah– are you okay?” Pigsy backed up.

“I’m fine, just my stupid weak ankles,” Tang shrugged.

“Well we can’t have that now can we,” Pigsy got an idea and smirked.

“What are you– oh my–!” Tang exclaimed as Pigsy suddenly scooped him up.

“I don't want you on your feet more than necessary. Lying on your back is more relaxing,” Pigsy explained himself, moving towards his room.

“Oh?” Tang smirked with a raised eyebrow.

Pigsy smirked right back before kissing him and carefully opening his door with one hand, and the pair continued to kiss until Pigsy kicked the door shut carefully with his foot and even long, long after that.

What a night.

#lego monkie kid #lmk #freenoodles #tang lmk #pigsy lmk #autistic tang #we love when the gay people #slightly suggestive ending #anxiety #overstimulation #sensory issues #mk lmk #mei lmk #my fics #dadsy of two au

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coridallasmultipass · 4 months ago

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It took me, ugh, MONTHS (2), to get to cleaning the two shrimp tanks I have... I had IRL issues going on that would have made it extremely difficult to do a water change especially while injured, and I just had to keep putting it off. It's just shrimp, so it wasn't like, the worst situation, especially since I have established plants and the tanks are a couple years old. There was just a lot of algae build-up on the glass, and, well... Let me just say it was not contributing to my mental health and well-being while the tanks were in that state.

I tested the water before I started cleaning and the parameters were fine (like, I could have left the tanks even longer if I would be okay with selling my soul to the Algae Collective), and the plants and shrimp look fine, too (I mean, I've obviously been keeping an eye on the tanks bc I sit right next to them). Actually, I'd wager to say that the plants are looking really great (the lilies haven't died off [yet? This is the longest period of time I've seen them stay... foliage... fol... foliated? Idk.] and the cryptocoryne in the 10gal is fucking huge and needs to be rearranged, just not right now). That fucking algae was a motherfucker to get off the 10gal (it's a plastic tank and I think that makes the algae grip harder than the glass 5gal).

[Also, fyi, depending on the tank's needs and stability, recommended water changes are a small one every week or every other week. My parameters don't seem to do anything dramatic, so I usually aim for a 20-30% water change every third week (just depends on how much vacuuming needs to be done and how cooperative the shrimp are with moving aside). So 2 months is still a lot. I still did the normal 30% ish amount, since doing more will risk the shrimp's well-being if there's a sudden change in everything, and my water parameters indicated a change was unnecessary - but I don't test for more than the minimum freshwater tests, so there could be a buildup of some mineral I'm not testing for, which is why the change IS actually necessary regardless of what my test kit says - because these tanks were evaporating a lot in summer, it condenses the minerals added with each water addition, even tho I usually top up with R.O. water.]

My back is fucking killing me lol. It has been killing me since spring when it 'went out' for the first time, and I'm not getting any relief, it sucks. But this had to be done.

The 5gal is looking pretty cloudy still, since the filter was super gunked up and I accidentally spilled gunk back in, so I may need to retest the 5gal parameters tomorrow just to make sure I don't have to do another water change, but it'll probably be fine, right? Shrimp love mulm and detritus. I did give both tanks a big ole algae tab for their trouble, tho. (I need a fuckening dish for the big tank. I really wanna clean off that white quartz rock again, but being white means it's an algae magnet, and it's just gonna go green again after a month or two.)

Anyway, shrimp tax:

I lov thees widdle oange bebies.

Wish I could take better pictures rn, but I am. Like. Dying. My recommendation: never live in an A-frame style room if you have the option. The wall above my tanks is slanted, and NOT fun for my back to bend underneath the wall for maintenance. (My only flat wall in the room is for my TV/PC.) Also, treat your back nicely, in general. I unfortunately have not had the option to treat my back nicely since spring (fall now), because 'when it rains it pours,' and heavy shit that needs to be moved will not move itself. Once I get a few more things in my room in order, I will hopefully be done with the IRL chaos, bc I have Halloween socks to knit, and I'm not putting that off for another year. (I'm still mad that I couldn't make the ones I planned last year. And I found more Halloween yarn I forgot I bought, so I'm gonna try to make multiple socks.) And I just really need to fucking chill and knit and stop having panic attacks and meltdowns.

#me earlier today: oh i should bleach my hair since i havent been able to shower for 2 days it wont damage it as much #me now: i dont know if i can even stand long enough to shower after this #anyway im gonna try to eat something and then shower and pass tf out.#maybe i shouldve taken a before picture to show how much i did...#...but i do Not want to remember 'that one time i didnt do a water change for 2 months' the algae was gross lol i couldnt even get it all #but honestly idc ab the back wall having algae as long as the front and most of the sides are clear #seriously the algae was textured like sandpaper tho. does algae do pearling? if it does then its calcium buildup too #edit while typing bc i looked it up. yes algae pearls. so the bubbles it was making were drying enough to cause calcium deposits #oH also lmao i found the tiniest pinch of hornwort left in the 10gal. idk why the hornwort doesnt like that tank but its hilarious that...#...that one little fingernail sized piece is still alive floating in there. i stuck it next to the lily but the shrimp will prob dislodge it #the hornwort in the 5gal is just freefloating i cant get that shit to stick #the shrimp love that stuff and they look like little birds in a pine tree #im in so much pain im procrastinating food lmao 'order pizza' crossed my mind but my jaw wont let me eat pizza so fml #anyway. just wanted to show an accomplishment even if its not a praise worthy one since i didnt go the extra 10 miles to water change sooner #awwww tho i love seeing them glide around the tank and now i can see them clearly its so chill #shrimp #aquariums #crustaceans #bugs #Cori.exe #Post.exe #Image.exe #also my therapist started cracking up this morning when i said like 'i can finally rest now tht i dont have a Saw trap bathroom to navigate'#seriously tho it was bad and then another issue in the bathroom came up 2 days ago but theyre both fixed now. my br is normal now.#im not normal tho (normal for myself i mean) and unfortunately thats not gonna be an easy fix but im trying #man can i ever make a post where i dont type a million words lmao. inability to focus and then i start typing more stuff #oh ab the hair bleach man my roots are so dark i just trimmed off the last of the bleach from last time so i got 2tone hair rn #idk when ill get to that. dependsnon my back. i already wasnt in a great state of being when i did the aquariums but i needed to clean them #ok i rly need to try n make food and shower before i start growing algae on myself

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roseofithaca · 7 months ago

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The Bestest Girl

(Alison brings Silver a special gift for her Death Day. Ft @idiotwithanipad 's oc Amy)

"MORNIES!"

"Ugh, fuck off!" Amy instinctively reached for a pillow to hurl at the caveman's head, only for her hand to pass through the case.

Stupid, useless non-corporeal body.

She settled for rolling on her back and aiming a kick at his middle with her chunky soles, but the smelly ape was too quick and sprung back before she could make contact, that shit-eating grin plastered across his hairy face.

Amy turned to the chair where Hu...Where Dad's (fuck, she was still getting used to that) head was laying, scowling at Robin chuckling away.

"I thought you were going to stop him from doing that!" She frowned.

"Sorry, Poppet. Not much use as a guard when the rest of me decides to go for an early stroll. Best I can do is give him the glowering of a lifetime, something I've mastered over the centuries, if you don't mind me saying."

It was a pretty impressive death glare, useless as it was.

"Hehe, creepy green man on wall better at making me want to stay out." Robin said, turning to point at her ICP poster, only to jump again.

Amy sorted. That was worth it.

"Why are you here then? Is annoying me in the morning worth it that much?"

"Little bit. But also got important question."

Amy rubbed at the bridge of her nose; "Seriously? It's like the middle of the night."

"It's 10am, Poppet." Corrected Humphrey, softly.

"Same thing."

Robin cut to the chase; "You know what day coming up?"

It was too early to get her brain into gear. She usually made her way down to the staff room to see if any of the younger Bellhops were chugging any Mango Loco, or similar flavours, to help wake her up. Closest thing she had to breakfast.

"I don't even know what day it is today so no."

"It full moonah this weekend!" Robin explained.

That lifted her spirits a tad; "Oh. Cool." This month felt like it had lasted way too long, she didn't realise she had only a couple days left until her friend woke up; "That it?"

Not that it wasn't something to look forward to, but it hardly seemed something worth waking her up, like it wasn't something that occurred every four weeks.

"It also eleventh day of March month!" Added Robin.

"Ah!" Humphrey surprised Amy with that noise.

So he knew what that meant? Should she? Was it knowledge that she needed a whiff of fruity carbonated caffeine to load in her head?

"What's that? Silver's birthday?" Hadn't they celebrated that last month?

"That already gone, she sleep through. This other big one. It Death Day! Only second one she been awake for since she come!"

"Woah. Okay, fair enough, that's pretty huge." Still could have waited until she was awake to discuss it but she'll forgive his eagerness; "Aw, shit, what should we get her?"

"That what me came to ask." Said Robin, picking up Humphrey's head and tossing it over to Amy so he could have the chair.

Amy gave him a quick frown for the brief disrespect to her dad, smiling down at him as he landed in her lap, then sat with her legs crossed on the bed.

"You guys have known her longer than me!"

"Yes, but you two best buds. Maybe she give you secret hint she no tell us?"

Amy thought for a moment. Really, Silver should be the easiest person in the world to shop for. A tarot deck, crystals, incense, new statues of those gods she worships? But it had to be something she could use. Without Alison here to be their hands, they couldn't even do much with tools through a surrogate.

Also, if her death day was such a rarity, it had to be something special. She glanced at the adoption certificate in its frame on her bedside table.

Humphrey must have followed her eyes; "There you go! We can get Alison to arrange one of those, but for her and Mary. I always heard Mary say how much she loved Silver like her own daughter."

"Yeah, I've asked her about that already." Amy replied, "She said it didn't feel right without Mary here to agree to it. Especially because they never said the words aloud to each other. She never called Mary 'mum' and Mary said all those sorta things to you guys but not as...explicit to Silver, I guess."

Robin grunted in agreement; "She tell me same. Even offer to do ancient tribe ritual where child honour parent who die long ago, she no want to."

"I even suggested we do a Seance or something to see if we can contact Mary's spirit for permission but she shot me down. Kinda thought she might be afraid it would be a hoax or Mary would say no."

"So silly! 'Course she say yes. Me know her best."

"Yeah but you know Sil. She's got that whole fear of rejection going on, so she'd rather not try than try and be let down. I get it." Amy sighed.

Humphrey seemed to look up at her and move his jaw, almost trying to move his head closer into her, some small act of comfort. She smiled and stroked his head.

Had Alison and Humphrey not arranged everything behind her back, she wouldn't have had the guts to just ask 'Hey, you wanna officially be my dad?'

"That's that idea out the window then."

The three of them sat in quiet thought a little longer until a tiny squeak broke the silence.

Robin reached his hand beneath his shift; "Oh, you finally wake too? You almost bad as Stompy." He chuckled at his little wolf cub.

Amy's eyes widened at Kya, watching her licking Robin's fingertip as he waved it before her nose.

"Hey...Didn't Silver have a dog?"

The end of another epic dream saga.

Brain wakes. Owl hoots. Eyes open. Smile up at the moon.

Here we go again.

The routine does hit her with a touch of malaise every time it happens but rarely does it dampen the mood her lucid dreams have left her in. Besides, there was a lot for her to wake up to. New livings to watch, including a VERY hot new greenskeeper who liked to eat her lunch beside her bed, as well as catching up with her fellow deadies. Spending time with her girls, Kitty and Amy, playing and annoying Robin.

None of those are sat with her when she rises. Not the first time she's woken up alone and she feels that familiar touch of dread. Shit, please say no one has been sucked off again. That will always be the fear that haunts her whenever she wakes on her own.

Silver got to her feet, brushing down her skirt and taking a deep, centering breath.

Calm down, dummy, they're probably just watching a really good movie and forgot what night it was, or maybe they're running late or-

"SURPRISE!"

"Holy shit!" That made her jump so hard that she nearly slipped back and landed on her arse.

Those fucking dorks all leaped out in a circle around her, all of them hidden behind a tree, or maybe even in the tree to make it convincing, who knows.

Silver laughed. Wow, they're all here. Even Humphrey's body, seemingly well attached to his head. Even Cap and Julian and Lady B, who is....almost smiling? It's hard to be sure. And of course there's Amy and Kitty and....fuck, even Alison, who sets off a party popper, sending a tuft of confetti and coloured ribbon over where Silver stood.

"Woah! Wh-what's all this, guys?" She couldn't help but laugh, the red and blue strings falling through her palms.

"Well I said we should have waited ten minutes for you to get freaked out before revealing ourselves but then I was reminded how well that went down the last time." Julian spoke up, and all eyes looked to Alison.

The greying woman raised her hands; "In my defence, I was unknowingly pregnant - and I still haven't forgiven you all for that!"

"No, I mean, what's the surprise for? We did my birthday in February." They had only been a week out.

That had been a simple affair, which Silver had been fine with. A little red velvet cake and some candles in Higham Suite, which Mia had happily devoured on behalf of her aunt, while both Silver, Amy and Pat stared and drooled like zombies. A few games followed by dancing to Evanescence, Lacuna Coil and a pagan band she loved called Inkubus Sukkubus.

"This even better!" Robin grinned.

"That's right. Three, two one...Happy Death Day too you!" Pat began, cheerfully.

Silver covered her face with her hands and endured listening to her friends croon their off-key remix, her cheeks turning beetroot. She glared at Amy.

"This your doing?" She mouthed.

Amy waved her hands and pointed at Robin. Sure! Big fluffy dickhead.

"Well, thank you guys very much." She said once they were all done, except one; "I said thanks, Thomas!"

"To yoooou, fairest maiden of the moon!"

"THOMAS!" They all shouted.

The poet fell silent.

"And of course we got you a gift." Alison picked up a wrapped box that was set beside her feet and moved towards the young pagan; "Now...if you don't want it, that's fine, but we...And by who I mainly mean those two-"

She pointed to Amy and Robin. Ah, so they did collaborate together! Her headphone wearing friend cleared her throat.

"-wanted to get you something that meant a lot, from when you were alive."

The smile on Silver's face fell.

There wasn't a whole lot in her life that had meant a lot to her. Nothing tangible, not that that mattered anymore, but nothing she needed with her. This was her home now. Her family. Above in the stars and in the Earth.

"Okay..." She said, hesitating.

"We know you had a dog, that you loved. And we thought you might like some reminder of her. A picture or maybe her collar and lead to put near your bed."

Silver rubbed at her elbow. She'd tried ever so hard not to think about Jess after she died, knowing that the last time she'd laid eyes on her labradoodle, she'd been on her bed and Silver had promised to spoil her with treats on her return. Jess had been so clingy in those last few weeks, nuzzling her side and whimpering.

Had Jess known she was sick? Could she....smell the aneurism coming? They say dogs can detect things like that...

When her family had finally come to visit her memorial, she'd listened as her mum had spoke to Alison and told her about how Jess had lived another ten years after Silver died.

And, for all that time, she almost never left her bed, except for walks and food.

Silver had cried for hours after hearing that. She had never regretted taking those drugs and going out into the woods before. But had she stayed, even if her brain still crapped out on her, she would have been beside Jess. Jess would have got to see her die and understand why she wouldn't wake up to pet her again, maybe.

Jess would not have spent ten years waiting...

"Silvy?" Kitty asked, interrupting Alison.

The Georgian had spotted the tears on her face and was beginning to move closer to give her a hug. Silver raised a hand.

"M'fine, thanks." She forced a smile.

Was this how Death Days differed from birthdays? Instead of games and cake, you got depression? She'd only had one before, and it had mostly been her, Mary and Robin dancing under the full moon. Some of the others like Pat and Kitty and Julian had joined but she was still pretty new to the group.

Mary. Fuck, she's missing Mary now too. She'd accept a hug from Mary. The woman wouldn't even wait for permission. That was oddly okay for Silver, at least when it came to that one wonderful woman.

"I got in contact with your mum and asked if she had any photos of you and Jess. She said she had something better that's been sitting in your old room for years, but now she's having to move, it might make more sense to stay near to your memorial." Alison continued.

She unwrapped the present, pulling the gold thread loose. Inside was a cardboard box which Alison opened and picked out....

"Oh...Is that a crystal?" It didn't look like any she was familiar with. And it was very...spherical. And smooth.

"Not quite. When Jess passed away, your mum had her cremated and put her ashes in a little box with her name on." Alison presented her with the paperweight-sized ball, with a beautiful red and black swirl in the centre. "I asked her if I could have the ashes turned into glass..."

Red like Jess' muzzle and eyebrows.

Silver's lip trembled; "....That's her?"

Alison nodded, putting it forward and then pulling back, looking as though she was kicking herself for nearly handing it over where it would pass through her ethereal hands and smash upon the ground.

"She's been on your nightstand till now. Your mum even said that it made sense she got to be closer to you."

Silver hadn't thought her mum was capable of such sentiment. Her eyes remained watery as she stared at the beautiful ball.

Reaching forward, she ran her finger down the curve.

Nothing. No feel of energy or something calling out to her.

Maybe Alison read her expression; "I went to visit your old house and saw your room. Nearly everything was in boxes, because of the move...but there was no dog there that I could see."

See with her Sight, Silver understood, sighing with relief.

Good. Jess wasn't still waiting for her there, after death. She wouldn't be another Greyfriar's Bobby. She had moved on.

And of course, all dogs went to heaven.

"Thank you...Seriously, thank you, Alison." Silver grinned, then ran to pull Robin and Amy into a hug, whether they liked it or not; "And thank you two fucking dorks."

"Hug is nice but words confusing." Robin chuckled nervously as she wrapped her arm around his neck.

Amy shuffled her feet, half leaning into the hug as she looked bashful; "Eh, I owed you for helping them all with my Death Day surprise."

"I love it. Thank you."

Alison placed the glass ball beside at the foot of Silver's bed. She also had with her one of the last photos of a beaming Silver hugging a happy Jess, tongue hanging out, eyes bright with joy, tail clearly wagging.

"She definitely appears to have been a wonderful companion." Fanny, a fellow pet lover, smiled as they watched Alison pin the polaroid to the tree.

"She was...." Silver said, as if attending a funeral she'd missed long ago; "We got her at two months old. Me and Dad were in Blockbuster, about to rent a movie, and talking about getting a dog. Guy at the counter said his mum was trying to find a home for her labradoodle that was too energetic for her. They didn't even want money, he turned up at our door with all her doggy gear and this bouncy pup with the biggest paws for such a little body. She was an annoying shit for over a year before she settled...and she rarely left my side. She loved eating pigs ears and steak. She could do all the tricks. She hated the post man and nearly got us fined when she tried to bite at his rucksack. But she was gentle and good to everyone else. If I came home upset, she would come right to me and lick my tears away. We were inseparable after Dad died and no one else seemed to want...."

She stopped herself then. The eulogy was turning into a self-pitying prose.

"She was my best friend."

"Sounds like you had a good girl there, pet!" Pat grinned.

Silver nodded. The goodest.

Amy tilted her head; "Not to change the subject but...Sil, what was going on with your eyes at the time? Why were they red?"

"Oooh, Moonah girl cursed!" Robin gasped.

Silver exchanged looks with Alison, Pat and Julian. The four of them then burst into giggles while everyone else looked as lost as Amy.

"Life before selfies and digital cameras, dude." She said, putting her arm around her friend's shoulders; "We all had to suffer with demon eyes for about fifty years."

"Those were the days. When you'd take your camera to the Kodak shop after your holidays to get them developed and they'd all come out looking awful." Pat reminisced.

"Or your wife would collect them expecting sweet images of you playing with your daughter on the beach, and instead she sees you and two members of your cabinet with leather cuffs and ball gags."

Everyone stared at Julian as he finished that sentence.

"Oh....just me then?" He asked.

"It's always just you." Captain sighed.

"Moving swiftly on, I'm glad you like your present, Silver." Alison smiled.

"I do...I kinda wish bringing her ashes here meant she got to come visit, but I'm glad she's free." Silver said, looking at the photo; "And hey, maybe I'll see her in my dreams."

"And till then, you still get fluffy snuggles." Robin handed a small ball of grey fur to her.

Silver happily took the sleeping Kya and held her close, stroking those teeny tiny ears with her finger as the pup slept.

She looked around at her family and exhaled, remembering how she'd come to this spot to summon everything she desired in her life. Love, excitement, friendship, a sense of belonging...

By the will of the Goddess, it had all come to pass. Not in life, but in death.

"Thanks, guys."

#bbc ghosts fanfic #oc: silver #others oc #bbc ghosts #robin the caveman #humphrey bone #mary guppy #kitty higham

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cyberphuck · 1 year ago

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"Excuse me. Please don't talk to me unless you're at least an 8." Mika (he/him), the nonbinary vampire informant from Asshole Monster Hunter.

“I love this time of year,” Mika sighed, uncoiling another strand of hair from a pink roller and letting the resulting coil bounce down his back.

“Really? I’d have thought you found it kind of, I dunno, tiresome.”

“Tiresome! The air is crisp, the leaves are changing, and the sun only shows its face for a few hours a day.” Another curl tumbled down. “The only thing I find ‘tiresome’ is pumpkin-spice-everything.” He pointed a slender finger at Ashley in the mirror. “It’s a good flavor. It’s not mind-blowing. Ginger Bread lattes, now, that’s a different story.”

“I mean Halloween. With all the spooky parties and people dressing up as movie vampires.”

“Oh, no, it’s lovely. The closer it gets to the end of the month, the more excited people are to be bitten on the neck. Those wearing a silk opera cape from Wal-Mart even more so. What better way to spend All Hallow’s Eve than with a vamp?”

“I figured Vamps had their own parties.”

“They do. Tacky velvet and rhinestone affairs with too much red wine and too many living guests gawking at all the fangs. It’s the vamp equivalent of a company picnic. No, I prefer a normal sort of party with paper banners and plastic eyeballs in the punch.”

“Because you’re the only vamp working the place,” Ashley guessed.

“A vamp, no.” Mika held up a black headband with lacy triangle ears glued to it. “A sexy cat that’s had a little bit too much to drink and needs to be escorted home, perhaps with a stop in an alley on the way for a little,” he winked, “scratch behind the ears.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Not so much as a tired old vampire inviting young desirables to an 'exclusive’ party, with the implication that they’re there as anything other than hors d'oeuvres.” The last roller came out, and he ran his fingers through the curls to loosen them a little before gathering a handful of pins in one hand. “I don’t make a habit of leading people on.” He paused. “In that way, anyway.”

“How many parties are you going to tonight?”

“Four. It’s still a week until Halloween; the parties are only just starting. There’ll be so many on the night of the 31st that if I don’t go to at least nine I’ll consider myself a failure. And you?” A flick of the eyelashes. “Staying home with Messrs. Domino and Netflix again?”

Ashley paused uncomfortably, then, “Nah. I have a thing.”

“A *thing,”* Mika echoed delicately.

“Yeah. Just a casual thing with a friend, a couple of drinks, that’s all.”

“A friend,” Mika said, then, “a boy?”

“A man, yes–”

“Oh, a *date,* I’m all a-twitter. Tell me about this man of yours, where did you meet him, how tall is he, is he educated?

"It’s just Adrian, Mika,” Ashley said tiredly. “You know him.”

Mika’s nose wrinkled. “Ugh, *him.* I don’t know how you stand to be seen with him, it’s obvious you can do so much better. People will talk.”

“We’re not dating, just going out for drinks. He’s been running the shop on his own for almost a year. There’s gonna be a little get-together at his place next week, but he wanted to do something more private for just the two of us.”

“You might not think it’s a date, my dear, but I can guarantee you he certainly does.” Mika put two of the pins in his mouth while he maneuvered the rest into his hair, coiling it into an artless half-bun. “Give someone like him a taste of the high life and he’ll keep coming sniffing after it until you kick him to the curb. Which you ought to have done years ago.”

“Mika, we’ve been friends since we were kids, I’m not just going to get rid of him. It’s just drinks.”

“Take it from me,” Mika said silkily, “coffee is never just coffee, and drinks are never just drinks. Don’t do something you’ll regret, because I won’t hear any of your miserable moaning that you’ve made a mistake after you crawl back here.”

“Thank you, you’re such a good friend,” Ashley said, rolling her eyes.

“Someone has to keep you in line,” Mika muttered, levering another pin into his hair. “Give me that hairspray, and then get yourself in front of this mirror. Disgusting ex or no, you’re not going out in public with your hair looking like *that.”*

#art tag #oc art #ocs #artists on tumblr #nonbinary #vampire #Mika is one of those “asshole with a tragic backstory” characters #that you all know I love #eventually I'll do the oc casefile for him but for now enjoy this snippet of AMH

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sydneyofalltrades · 2 years ago

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I am awake and thus my brain is running and so have this to appease the masses

Moni Gruber was now a giggling, squealing, average teenage girl. And she was alright with that. Because now, she had friends, a family, and the greatest boyfriend ever.

And that was why she was giggling uncontrollably. She was telling the others all about their declarations of love.

“Oh my goodness, it was like a movie,” she was saying excitedly, “He was- ugh I can’t even say it but oh!! I love him so much.”

She hugged herself and giggled excitedly. Constance smiled.

“Aw, you two are adorable together! You’re lucky to have Mason, Mon, he really cares about you.”

Moni smiled sheepishly. Ocean cleared her throat.

“What I’m concerned of is-“

She looked around warily then turned to Moni.

“Did you.. do the deed?”

Moni turned red. “No! Ocean, what the hell?”

Noel and Mischa burst into laughter and Moni covered her face in embarrassment.

“Ozi, why would you even ask that?!”

Ocean shrugged. “Too many teens have sex before marriage, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t ending up burning in hell.”

Penny snickered. “You are so direct, Ocean, oh my God.”

“Do not use the Lord’s name in vain!”

“Oh, shut up, you asshole,” Moni snapped, and the others laughed.

“I almost hit him with the shovel though,” Noel said, directing the attention to him.

“You what-?”

Moni nodded solemnly. “We were kissing in the backyard and he freaked out and grabbed the shovel, if I hadn’t stopped it, Noel would’ve committed a murder.”

Mischa exhaled. “All that, poet? I wouldn’t expected so much from you.”

Noel scowled. “She’s my sister! My little sister.”

“By like three months!”

“You’re still younger and you should be telling me when you kiss a guy!”

“Ugh, you’re mean,” Moni teased, then felt someone hug her from behind.

“Ah!”

Mason bent over and grinned. “Hey, Monini!”

Moni laughed. “Mason!”

She turned around and hugged him. Penny pretended to swoon in Constance’s arms.

“Oh, it’s Mr. And Mrs. Best Couple. Their love and radiance is making me faint!”

Mason laughed. “Nice to see you too, Penny. And Ocean. And Connie. And Mischa. And Rickster! And.. Noel.”

Noel pursed his lips. Even after the events of the last week he still didn’t trust Mason.

“Hi, Mason,” he said coldly. Mason pouted.

“Come on, I thought we bonded last week!”

“I threw a rock at you,” Noel deadpanned, “And tried to kill you with a shovel.”

Mason tsked. “That’s not the point. Come on, we’ve been friends since middle school. What caused this change of heart?”

“He’s just mad his little sister got a boyfriend before him,” Ricky signed. The others laughed and Noel was appalled.

“That is not! Ricky!”

Ricky grinned smugly at Noel’s horrified expression.

“Anyway,” Moni said, turning to Mason, “What’s up?”

Mason smiled. “Nothing, just wanted to see my beautiful girlfriend before Science class. It’s a shame we don’t have any other classes together and you have choir practice after school.”

Moni nodded. “Yeah, it sucks. But I’m glad you’re here now.”

They kissed and the others hooted and hollered like it was the big game and the town favorite was winning.

“Oh my God,” Moni grumbled, “Are you going to be this dramatic every time we interact?”

“Pretty much,” Mischa said, going on his phone to text Talia.

“I mean, nothing really happens in Uranium, and finding out you have a boyfriend is probably the highlight of the month,” Constance said with a shrug.

“Oh, if I could talk I’d be even more dramatic,” Ricky signed, “But alas, I’m resigned to clapping wildly. It’s still fun though.”

Moni rolled her eyes but still managed a smile.

If two years ago you would’ve told Monique Gibeau from the alleyways of Paris that she’d be living in a better town with friends and family and people who cared about her, she would’ve punched your nose and stole your wallet.

But now here she was. Happy and thriving with a family she never wanted to lose.

#moni gruber #ride the cyclone #rtc au #i really need to stop with the fluff so you guys gets heartbreak #but for now have this #enjoy ;)#sydneys weirdness

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totaldramafan-lauri · 10 months ago

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Well.....the time is now! It's time for Eurovision season to start on my blog! Y-yeah, I've been...VERY busy, to be blunt, but this is one thing that can take me away from that for a while....and even then, it was a struggle to find the time. XD

So.....a-about what I said about this being different than usual....uh....

Usually, this is when I'd listen to all the songs for the first time, all at once, and I'd do this thing where I'd type out my reactions as I'm listening to them. My First Impressions series. It's a thing I have fun with, but is REALLY time-consuming due to listening to all the songs in a row....but....

I-I can't do that this year.

And it's cuz.....I.....I already listened to them this time.

L-lemme explain! So....last year, after the 2023 season ended, I was VERY far deep into post-season depression, like...it was worse that it usually was. I was still thinking about Eurovision WEEKS later. I was having a hard time moving on. So....wh-what'd I do? I....found myself watching videos by reactors on YouTube (which was also something I started doing during the week of the contest), and....I-I found myself a fan of a couple of those people, so...I followed them. One guy in particular does analysis videos that I really like, and watch a lot. He helped keep me satiated on Eurovision during the off-season....

...and then the season began. And...he did reaction videos to the songs....and....y'know where this is going, right?

I was weak. I couldn't stop myself. For the first time ever, I listened to the songs as they were released, completely RUINING my tradition of only listening to them once they were all out. For a bit, I-I was planning on keeping this a secret, and, like....trying to pretend I'm listening for the first time? Faking it, and thinking it'd be convincing if I acted like I did WHEN I listened for the first time? But....in the end, that just didn't sound fun. It sounded like work. I didn't wanna lie about this kinda thing.

It felt like it wouldn't be too bad at the time, but....looking back, I should've stayed away. I LIKE doing my first impressions series! I like documenting those, so I can look back at them later and see how my opinions had changed! I like calling out "potential growers" and seeing if I'm right! I like having proof of major Love At First Listen moments and just getting to express my joy as it's happening! I like saying whatever comes to my mind when listening to a song for the first time!

And I just...can't do that this year. Cuz I was weak, and couldn't stay away from a YouTuber's content. Ugh....

So....yeah, that's why things are different this year. I already know the songs. I already know what each song is ABOUT, for that matter, and I already know things about the artists (so, yeah, I know that the Swiss and Irish artists are non-binary, so I won't be misgendering either of them, thankfully). And I already know about the reception each one's gotten, and about the betting odds (so I know that Croatia, Switzerland, and Italy are the hot favorites to win, altho let's be honest, when is Italy NOT, pffff). I've been keeping up with ALL OF THIS while keeping it hidden for months.

The only things I can say to my credit are that I didn't overlisten to many of the songs, so there are a few I've been sitting on so they wouldn't get old, and also, there's one song I haven't listened to, due to having no interest in doing so at the moment. So, this post will only be talking about 36 of the 37 songs.

So....instead of first impressions, this is my current thoughts on each song. They're gonna be pretty abridged though, not just to make it quick, but cuz I wanna save any detailed thoughts for my final ranking post. And cuz they're short, I'm fitting them ALL in this post, rather than doing five at a time like usual.

I PROMISE that I'll have a better control of myself, and things'll be back to normal next year.

So...yeah, I AM in a position to say that I love this year's lineup. This has the potential to be one of my favorite Eurovisions. Heck, if the right song wins, maybe my ABSOLUTE favorite, finally dethroning 2016. We'll have to wait and see~

Final thing before I dive in: Cuz I've been trying not to overlisten, I still don't have a concrete top 7. I DO know my top 4, but the last spots are still being fought over. So...not everything's set in stone yet. XD

So.....here goes! Eurovision 2024 abridged thoughts!

Cyprus

-Energetic BANGER with a great chorus! -Great dance break potential. Staging could be fun -Was originally one of my favorites, but it's been shoved down. Could still be a candidate for 6th or 7th -A lot of people seem to think this song's too generic, so this is just a me thing -I will concede that it's pretty standard for Cyprus, but I still really like it -Except the rhyming of "Ooh-la-la" with "Truth, la-la" XD -She's 17, BTW. The song is a great opener, but her? Hope she doesn't get nervous... Better than last year? Yup!

Serbia

-I love the lyrics to this song, but since I gotta keep it short, I can't talk about them right now -The token "atmospheric" song this year -Serbia keeping on their trend of sending interesting songs, but since this one's a ballad, it's a different breed of interesting -Has a VERY dedicated fanbase, so qualification shouldn't be an issue -Me personally? I think it's good, but nothing for me to really get EXCITED over. My favorite ballads this year will come later -Pretty vocals Better than last year? Gonna say no, sorry. XD

Lithuania

-My number 3!! -LUKTELK LUKTELK -OH be still my electro-loving heart -New favorite Lithuanian entry of all time -Nothing really to say, I just LOVE how this sounds! -The "DUN DUNS" in the pre-chorus? Catchy as heck -THE BREAK IS BEAUTIFUL -I feel cooler listening to this, but I know I'm not, pfffff Better than last year? Yessssssss!

Ireland

-Grower -I respect it more than I like it, but I came around to liking it anyway -I like the soft parts more than the hard parts, but the contrast is great -Staging has the potential to be a TREAT -Here's hoping they can get Ireland to the final, cuz I REALLY want a risk like this, by a country that normally never takes risks, to be rewarded Better than last year? Oooooooh yes! (Don't get me wrong, there ARE "no"s later, trust me XD)

Ukraine

-Catchy in a different way -Candidate for my 6th/7th along with Cyprus -To put it bluntly, this song starts VERY strongly and then kinda ends with a whimper -I LOVE the beginning of this song. It gave me goosebumps on first listen (specifically that first big note) -The rap is pretty good too -I really really like this song, I think it's gorgeous, I just wish it burst more at the end! -Please stop making songs about Mother Teresa Better than last year? Another yes Poland

-Pretty dang solid -I haven't listened to this one a lot, but I really should now! It's better than I remember -No one else this year has a voice like hers, which makes it stand out -Melody is great -It's not trying to be groundbreaking, it's just there to be a pleasant listen, and I think it succeeds Better than last year? For me and me alone, no ("Solo" was in my top five last year....oof)

Croatia

-WARNING: THIS SONG IS ADDICTIVE -HOLY FREAKING HECK, HIDING MY LOVE FOR THIS SONG WAS THE HARDEST OF ALL -I'm OBSESSED with this -I heard it ONCE and I was like...."I think I'm about to have another "Jezebel" moment just two years later" (AKA: runaway favorite I obsess over all season) -The only song I've LOOPED this year so far -Croatia, please don't mess this up. This song is INCREDIBLE! It's catchy, it's quotable, it's unique, and it goes HARD! -Bye mom, bye dad, meow cat, please meow back! -It's like the first half of "Cha Cha Cha" as a full song! That's a good thing BTW -I would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to see this win! But the juries will be a hurdle... -Three years in a row, my favorite song of the year is a rock song. Rock songs in Eurovision just always seem to hit the spot for me for some reason.... Better than last year? OBVIOUSLY, YES!!!

Iceland

-Didn't live up to expectations, sadly -Same lady who sang "Je ne sais quoi" in 2010, and that song was SOOOO much more powerful. You go from a good slice of Eurodance cheese, to....this? -It's a grower, tho, I'll give it that. I'd still say I like this -It's not horrible, just kinda average Better than last year? Nope!

Slovenia

-POWERFUL vocals -Definitely a grower, but I still don't listen to it often. I should change that -I like it, but just how much DO I like it right now? Can't answer -Don't really have much else to say, tho -The story is interesting, but how will it do on stage? Dunno... Better than last year? No

Finland

-Another candidate for my top 7 cuz I DON'T CARE what you think -People who don't like this cuz it's a "joke entry" need to sit down and let us have our fun -Besides, the chorus of this song is unironically great, and so are the vocals -Does it sound like the 90s? Yes, but is that a problem? -Finland, keep being your delightful selves -The fact that this'll be the first time in FIVE YEARS where they aren't in my top 3, and they still will be in my top 10- Yeah, I'm definitely pro-Finland being Finland -NO RULES! Better than last year? No, but that's a very high bar. They weren't gonna do that twice in a row

Moldova

-I normally love Moldova in Eurovision, but this was underwhelming, sorry.... -It's not bad, it's just an off year for them -Why did they not bother writing a second verse and just repeated the first one -It did grow on me, so maybe I'll like it more once I give it more listens Better than last year? No

Azerbaijan

-Kudos to them for finally using their language in a song -Pretty good vocals -My first thought was "this is more of a vibe song than a Eurovision entry". Nothing wrong with vibes, it's just not competitive -Still, I wouldn't say this is my type of music -It was the last song released, so I should give it more time Better than last year? Actually, yes

Australia -This is looking more and more like it's gonna be my number 5. I REALLY like this -Vocals are great, instrumentation is great, and it has some of my fav lyrics of the year easily -It's just a very feel-good song! What can I say? -Kudos for the aboriginal language rep -Definitely one of my underdogs, cuz the reception toward it has been mostly lukewarm, but...eh, gotta have at least a couple underdogs a year -Genuinely glad to see them still here. Safe to say that observing the Eurovision fandom over the year has completely made me get over my old disapproval of them being here. I saw multiple people worrying about them not coming back. It's pretty clear that they're part of the Eurovision family now. I no longer have any issues with them ^^ Better than last year? NAAAAHHHHH, sorry, not even close. XD

Portugal

-I'm realizing that I tend to prefer powerful ballads like this over quieter ones like Serbia's -Still not one of my favorites, but it's been a major grower -That's...about it Better than last year? Yes, but not by a lot

Luxembourg

-I know, you're a grower~ -Um...yeah, nothing really special here. It's catchy, but gets overshadowed by other songs like it, sadly -I really wanted Luxembourg to send a great song, cuz I REALLY don't want this to be an anticlimax for them....TT__TT

Malta

-The most mid song of the year -Poor woman's "SloMo" -Whenever I listen to it, I think "I wish I was listening to Cyprus or Georgia's entries instead" -I don't like her voice very much -Malta....c'mon. You got two measly points and came last in your semi last year with a much MUCH more fun song. You gotta try harder! Better than last year? NO. I never forget the absolute robbery-

Albania

-I prefer the original -(Yeah, in case you didn't know, this song is a revamp. The original song was called "Zemrën n’dorë" and it was in Albanian) -They didn't just change the language, they changed the music, too, and....yeah, I like the original more -That being said, I've actually listened to this song a LOT to get me used to it, and now I like it -One of the better standard Albanian ballads we've had in a few years -The lyrics are SO generic tho.... Better than last year? Yes

Greece

-Is this the first reggae song we've ever had in Eurovision? Cuz I can't think of any other -This is prolly gonna be the take I'd get burned for if I was more popular....uh, I haven't really gotten into this, sorry -Probably gonna be in my bottom five -I respect it's uniqueness and riskiness, but it's just not my music -In other words, it's this year's "EAEA" -The first time I heard it, I praised it for being "unapologetically Greek", but apparently some Greek people insist their music doesn't actually sound like this, so...blegh -Again, I know this song is very loved, so no hard feelings Better than last year? Gonna actually say yes to this, tho

Switzerland

-"How many genres do you wanna mix in this?" "Yes" -Drum and bass + rap + opera?? I heard this the first time and I was VERY confused XD -I COMPLETELY see why this song could win -Their voice is incredible and downright angelic -Not one of MY favs, but its VERY memorable and is pretty much a work of art -Oh, and I like the lyrics -Would be a VERY worthy winner Better than last year? Oh yes, thank god

Czechia

-Another one that's been around for a while and I've avoided listening to too much -I like its energy, but yeah, there's another female-led rock song I love more than this -Can't really say much about it. It's another one I just find kinda there -I'll give it time Better than last year? Nooooo

Austria

-An absolute joy to listen to -Nothing like a song about turning your brain off and partying -That instrumental break is GREAT -Sadly overshadowed by Lithuania's song to me in terms of club music, but I still like it -Why wasn't this the semi opener? It would've been perfect Better than last year? About the same

Denmark

-SAAAAAAND -Yeah, another grower. Thought it was mid at first, but now I enjoy it -Still nothing special, and it's kinda overshadowed by the stuff around it, but it's a good song for belting along to -SAAAAND, SAAAAAAAND Better than last year? About the same...but maybe yes

Armenia

-The first word that came to mind was "cute" -Very happy, very bouncy, and very Armenian -Nothing amazing, but hey, they're just happy to be here -I heard this compared to "Trenuletul" and I can see it Better than last year? About the same

Latvia

-Now THIS is a ballad this year I REALLY like -Seriously might be in my top 7 -SUCH a good chorus! It gets lodged into my head! -And the sheer power in his voice? Perfection -SUPER underrated, but hey, it's Latvia, I gotta expect that -Will they finally make it with this? They just BARELY missed out last year....I hope it happens, but it's sadly unclear Better than last year? Yes!

San Marino

-SPEAKING OF UNDERRATED -HOLY CRAP, I LOVE THIS SO MUCH -It's my number 4. DEAD SERIOUS -Better Spanish entry than the one actually from Spain -I CANNOT get enough of this, and it's easily my fav song they've ever sent -We don't get enough female-led rock in Eurovision -This song is SO INTENSE -Seriously, I love every single thing about this. It hits my brain perfectly. AND IT'S THE SONG FROM SAN MARINO -THAT BREAK WITH THE FLAMENCO INSTRUMENTATION MIXED IN GIVES ME LIFE, WHY DOES THAT WORK SO FLIPPING WELL -When this inevitably doesn't qualify, I'm gonna be playing it on loop for the rest of that day Better than last year? YES YES YES

Georgia

-Basically a more adult version of the Cypriot entry -Seriously, they're SO alike -....So why do I prefer the Cypriot entry? I dunno, I couldn't tell you. I just proved right above this that my taste is weird sometimes XD -Still hope they catch a break Better than last year? About the same, I guess....?

Belgium

-MY SECOND-FAVORITE! YAAAAAAYYYY! -This song is a masterpiece, simply put -The buildup. The BUILDUP. I CANT -This is EVERYTHING I love in a song like this -It builds and builds and builds and then BURSTS -THE LAST MINUTE IS SOOOOOO FLIPPING GOOD!! Still gives me goosebumps sometimes. That ending is what makes this my second-fav -Easily my favorite ballad of the year, and my fav ballad in recent years combined -Oh, and my fav Belgian entry of all time. That too. I've been WAITING for Belgium to send a song I love this much, cuz the highest they've been with me before this was 8th Better than last year? Yup!!

Estonia

-"We swear we don't have anything to do with these drugs, guys" -SO flipping fun, and SO flipping CATCHY -Not something I listen to a LOT, but when it comes on, I have a blast -When it comes to the fun songs, I like this more than Netherlands, but not as much as Finland -This is probably the biggest grower for me so far. Could possibly end as a borderline fav at this point. Better than last year? Yes

Norway

-HECK YEEEEEEEEEES NORWAY! GO OFF! -Folk metal? Sign me UP -This song is SO cool! First time I heard it, I was speechless and needed a second listen. This song FLOORED me -Other songs I love more have pushed it down, but it's definitely still gonna rank high -And it's in Norwegian! Better than last year? No, but it's CLOSE

Netherlands

-The viral hit of the year -Potential televote winner, but juries are gonna tank this. It's not gonna win, it's too silly -....At least, it SEEMS silly -I love how this fun, catchy song completely deconstructs the idea of a "joke entry". It seems silly when you listen to it, and you're having a good time, but then you look up what the song's about and....yup, it's about his dead dad, can't call it a joke -Very heartwarming story behind it, but it's still fun -You hear that chorus once, and it doesn't leave you alone -The gabber part is great -Also EXTREMELY Dutch, from what I've heard -Sadly not a favorite of mine, but I hear the appeal here, like with the Swiss entry Better than last year? Yes!

Sweden

-This song is very....Swedish -(And they're Norwegian-) -....Seriously, it sounds like exactly what I expected from Sweden. They weren't gonna do "Tattoo" again, and so many of their entries have been like this -That's not a bad thing for me, since I like this kinda music. The big-sounding pop -Great buildup -Great ending -Screams "We wanna do well, but we're not trying to win" (and it WILL do well, since it's Sweden-) -Will be a good opener of the final. Good hype song Better than last year? PFFFFFF NO

France

-Jury bait (which is something auto-qualifiers can still get away with) -It's just him flexing his vocals for three minutes -I know that ballads ARE vocal flexes, but I love ballads that have more....TO them than this? I guess? -I can't listen to this one too often before getting bored of it -His voice IS impressive tho Better than last year? No

Germany

-People have been really mean to this song, but....I like it? I'm sorry? XD -Could honestly be a borderline fav. I guess I'm the "some" that his "nothing but the average" is special to -Seriously, even if it's generic, it's GOOD generic -His voice is great -Lyrics are pretty good -Chorus is catchy -Bridge is unironically AWESOME, sorry not sorry -RUN FROM THE SILENCE, SCREAMING FOR GUIDANCE, WHO AM I FIGHTING FOOOOOR? -Seriously, guys, chill out, it's a good song Better than last year? Nah (they were still robbed)

Italy

-Italy are incapable of sending a song that is even AVERAGE at this point -Seriously, listen to this! It's perfect! -Not a FAVORITE favorite, but still one I like and respect a LOT -The melody is SO good, and so is her flow -The circus-esque instrumentals are FUN -I could go into why I think this is my prediction for the winner, but I'll save it (I have my reasons, trust me) Better than last year? Yes

Spain

-80s -Seriously, that's all I can take away from this XD -Except that the message of the song is pretty good -Don't get me wrong, I love me some 80s cheese, even if it's dated. It's a good chunk of what I listen to XD -This one's just....kinda losing some punch to make me really love it. As it is.....I find this song kinda forgettable, actually... Better than last year? For me, yes

-Pretty cool! -Lyrics are good -I can see why some people are underwhelmed, cuz it doesn't really burst at all. It's kinda understated. But....I dunno, I like that about it -This is one I definitely need more time with Better than last year? Gonna say about the same

Final thoughts

So.....yup, that's it for now! That's my current thoughts! Overall, like I said, this year COULD be one of my favs if the chips fall correctly. The ending to this contest matters a LOT

But for now, I'm really excited to listen to the playlist more now that I've made this post. Even if I've HEARD the songs, there are quite a few I haven't listened to a TON, so listening to them all together is definitely gonna help flesh out my final verdicts on them

What I know right now is that I have a solid top four: Croatia, Belgium, Lithuania, and San Marino. Only thing I can see changing there is that MAYBE San Marino might overtake Lithuania for third, but yeah, these are easily my fav songs.

And I'm SUPER happy these four are my favs, cuz all four of them are countries I have NEVER rooted for as hard as this before since I started watching live. I LOVE when that happens, like with Albania in 2018. Rooting for unlikely countries for the first time gives me life! Like I said, the highest Belgium have been with me before this was 8th! Same with San Marino. Lithuania's record before this was 4th (altho that was with "We Are The Winners"), and Croatia....well, yeah, they've been second with me before, but a LONG time ago, in a year I didn't watch live (flipping 1999). I'm SO hyped to give my energy to these guys.

Seriously, I NEVER expected to be blown away by Croatia and SAN MARINO- what even is this XD

Um....a-anyway.....5th is probably gonna go to Australia, and 6th and 7th are being fought over by Ukraine, Finland, Cyprus, Latvia, Norway, and maaaaaaybe Estonia

Least-fav out of these......I wanna say Malta, cuz I gave Greece respect points. And Malta's entry isn't BAD, it's just painfully mid. I don't think I outright dislike any of these, to be honest....?

That's all for now! ^^

#eurovision first impressions #(altho not really)#(just wanted it in my tag for consistencys sake)#(didnt wanna just leave out a year)#eurovision

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never-not-ever · 1 year ago

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I didn’t even realize I had like 9 messages in my inbox all the way back to Jan 12th… a couple were asking for updates which ironically I just posted 2 days ago. But why not post another quick update… I think I mentioned at the end of that one that short frequent updates are better than long ones months later…

So the “tentative” discharge date is next Friday. Pretty sure the meeting with my Nana, doctor and social worker is Tuesday. Then the next day is my therapist and myself. I was hoping my social worker could be a part of it too but she’s out next Wed-Fri.

So todays meeting with my doctor:

She told me that the IOP program that normally has a 2 month waitlist is now just 2 weeks. So I could start a lot sooner after discharge. It’s a really good program but it’s a lot of fucking work and a six month commitment.

She said how if I need to go off unit for the interview she’d give me a pass and I was like woah woah woah you said no more passes??? And she was all “it’s therapeutic”. So I said so can you retract the state application and give me a pass home and she said no. So I dropped it. Cause months ago she said no and she was DEAD set on not changing her mind (or so I thought…).

So then I said since it’s my last weekend here can I have an order to use a mini crochet kit and she said no. Then she said it’s your last weekend or maybe it’s not. And I was like what are you talking about? And she said that on Friday I’m not ready and tell her I think I need another week… and I interrupted her and was like that’s not happening.. I can’t keep doing that.. and then another week and another week. Then she was all “and maybe you want to give V (social worker) a proper goodbye” with a smirk.

So then I told her how yesterday was a roller coaster as it normally is and last night I self harmed. We talked a little about that. I don’t really remember how we went from that to this next part. I was shocked so I think I instantly forgot the minutes prior.

This woman has been ADAMANT that I do not need any home passes before discharge and not even for safety reasons (I snuck stuff back in all passes before). Nope. She just thinks it’s not going to be productive and I just need to discharge and see how it goes… So when I asked her nonchalantly a second time during this meeting and after admitting to self harming last night, for a pass home next week, she said she’d think about it. I was shocked and still am shocked.

Also how is this supposed to be a short reply just two days later and it’s turning into this…

Anyways she said we’ll see how the weekend goes and see how what my Nana thinks during the meeting. Instantly I said that nothing is going to happen this weekend, I want that pass…. But now that mindset is shifting.

God this is so long.. dare I even go into the thoughts surrounding my self harm? Ugh.. trigger warning ahead (maybe? Just to be safe).

So lately the self harm is just not bad enough. It’s never deep enough, never bad enough. Even though I’ve been told by both my doctor and social worker in the past that my stuff is severe and deep. A big reason why they kept me here for so long because it just never stopped and kept getting worse. I briefly looked at my messages and I think someone asked how I’m able to self harm while inpatient and another person why I’ve been kept here so long.. I can give more information in those replies. But yea so it’s definitely gotten highly addicting even though my doctor argued against me that it’s not an addiction so we settled on common ground, it being addictive. So much so that I don’t even care about that pass now. You don’t even know how much it pissed me off that she wouldn’t give me one back then and how at the time I hadn’t self harmed in a while and had a whole plan up of how it would be a good incentive and help me prepare for discharge. All that and just a “yea I changed my mind” from her. And now she’s actually considering it and I’m like whatever. If I was leaving in a month then fine, I’d want that pass but if I’m leaving next Friday (or so I think) then who cares about the pass?

I think the first message from way back was asking if I sabotaged my discharge… yeeaupp. That seems to be the trend. I don’t know if I mentioned it in my previous update but my doctor said she’s not keeping me here for self harm. So I don’t see how me self harming this weekend is going to sabotage my discharge. Only rule out the pass. It’s like a tug of war in my head. It would make discharge a tiny bit easier having a pass. BUT there’s no guarantee she’s going to say yes.

In the end I told her how I do not understand her and she was like “I think you do, we’re similar” and I said yea and that’s scary. My old roommate asked how we’re similar and I said how I can’t explain it but she’s right. Like the past few months all the back and forth from her, she’s infuriated me. But even after all that she’s still an amazing doctor and I stand by us being a good fit.

End for now? Time to answer some messages…

#personal #inpatient

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edsmcnson · 2 years ago

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who: eddie & @courtroomphilosopher

what: is it the 80s again?

where: the hideaway (where else tbh)

if being back in hawkins had taught eddie one thing, it was that almost dying in a supernatural dimension was apparently not something one could just work through in therapy. even over the course of twenty fucking years. not that eddie had kept up with his sessions much these last months. scratch that, these last years, too busy with being miserable living his dream life. it had also taught him that this town still blew.

and that he needed to get out of there, stat. he’d initially driven to the hideout, that piece of junk corroded coffin had played in a couple times in their prime, but had quickly come to find it boarded up, an eviction notice taped to the door with police crime scene tape. not that it surprised him much, it had been pretty crappy, even in the golden age of seedy crappy bars.

so where was there left to get a drink but the hideaway? the only place to get something to drink, really, if you didn’t want to sit on the hood of your car with a six pack of beer like some freshly graduated jock loser. yes, he was thinking of tommy hagan specifically, but that was another thing. eddie needed to be among people, people that weren’t his suffocatingly loving almost-step-aunt and uncle. people that were just as much of a mess as he was. what better place than the only bar left in hawkins. nobody respectable would choose to have their shameful drink there, much less on a week night.

three senses hit him first when he walks through the door. one - smell, obviously, always smell at the hideaway, that one hasn’t changed since the first time he flashed his fake i.d. to the bartender. the second - sight , as his eyes zero in on an unfamiliar face sitting on a bar stool in the corner. his eyes travel down the stranger’s form and unavoidably eddie’s gaze stops on the piece of fabric dangling from the other guy’s back pocket. no fucking way. it ties into sense three, which, well, it’s more of a ... a sentiment his body expresses suddenly, with an urgency that nearly overwhelms him. telling him that holy hell, eddie needs to get laid. like, yesterday.

no wonder he’s been so tense since arriving in hawkins, there’s been no shenanigans to ease up the tension from all the crazy happening around him. mostly due to a lack of options. and here was his golden ticket to salvation. ugh, too cheesy. anyway.

eddie truly felt like the hottest piece of action in the joint, as if there was a fan pointed on him and everything was happening in slow motion as he casually got himself a drink and made his way across the bar, ignoring everyone around him but him.

he knew it was stupid to even ask - but ... well, he was also in indiana. in the middle of nowhere, indiana, to be exact, and everything around him seemed to be stuck in the 80s. so it was worth a shot. eddie cleared his throat, flashed the other a grin when he got his attention. “uh... so, you can, like, totally tell me to get lost if not but ... shit i’m - i’m just gonna ask, are you flagging? by any chance?”

#&&. COLE 001 #and so it begins

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jmojellybae · 2 years ago

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Waiting For A Girl Like You - Part 1

Pairing: Robin Buckley x Fem!Reader

Word count: 4.7k

Summary: Having to spend spring break in a new city as a stranger wasn’t going to be easy, but fate sometimes comes through when you need it the most. Or: It only took you one week to fall for the weirdest girl in Hawkins.

CW: Language. Robin being hard on herself. Period typical homophobia (I’m sorry, but it’s brief in this chapter and I promise it isn’t the main focus of this story) Reader has divorced parents. Reader has an asshole dad. Reader is from New York City.

A/N: This was requested but I wanted to turn it into a series. This story will be 7 parts. Each part will be equivalent to a day so the story will take place over a week! This first part is more like an introduction, but don’t worry, there will definitely be more Robin in the next parts.

Masterlist

🎶Enjoy my 80’s Robin playlist here🎶

Sunday, March 20th 1986 - 10:35 AM

“God, I can’t do this anymore.”

You cross your arms defiantly as you inspect the plethora of moving boxes that cluttered your semi-empty room. You’ve been unpacking for the last two days straight, but it’s like the damn things were never ending. For every box you emptied, two more seemed to have popped up from thin air and you're certain that you’re no closer to seeing the floor then when you started. Your mom wasn’t fairing much better either. Who knew two women could have so much shit between them?

You moved to Hawkins, Indiana a few days ago leaving your life in New York City behind after your parents had the world’s messiest divorce. Your dad was a grade A asshole and has been your entire life, so it wasn’t the hardest, or the most surprising decision that you chose to stay with your mom, but the move from a big, bustling city to a quaint and, to put it nicely, dull small town was an adjustment you weren’t quite prepared for. Having to leave your friends so far into the school year was the most difficult part of it all. You begged your mom to push the moving date till after spring break so you could at least spend the week with your friends as a final farewell, but it wasn’t feasible. You couldn’t really blame her though, she was miserable in that city, and she wanted to get as far away from your dad as she could as fast as she could, but now you’ll be spending spring break in Hawkins as a total stranger to everyone and everything. What the hell were you supposed to do for a whole week besides unpack boxes?

“Who knows, maybe you’ll grow to love it.” Your mom said to you on the first day you got here.

You remember smiling at her, trying to be optimistic. You didn’t want to break your mom's heart anymore than it already was. You could definitely handle this new life for a couple of months anyway. Hopefully the rest of the school year goes by in a flash and you’ll get into a college that is not anywhere near Indiana.

Ugh. School. It was hard enough making friends back in New York, how the hell were you going to make any here? This is the kind of town where everyone knows everyone since childhood. Did you even want to make friends if you plan on leaving this place as soon as you graduate? You ran your fingers through hair exasperated. You needed some fresh air. You needed to do something that wasn’t unpacking anymore damn boxes.

You rushed down the stairs of your new home, suddenly feeling suffocated by your unfamiliar environment. Your mom was humming away in the kitchen, carefully putting away plates and other various knick knacks. You explained to her that you were going out. “Sight seeing” you said amusingly. You aren’t sure if Hawkins even has a “downtown” worth exploring, hell, you knew next to nothing about this place, so maybe driving around wouldn’t be the worst idea ever. Your mom seemed happy with the thought of you wanting to get to know Hawkins better, so she excitedly tosses you the keys to her car.

“Do me a favor while you’re out and about and try to find a decent pizzeria.” You’re mom says as she ushers you out of the front door.

“Yea right mom, I doubt Hawkins, Indiana is known for their pizza.”

“Hey, you never know!”

You hop into the car and give your mom a sharp finger salute before backing out of the driveway, eager to see what you will discover in this seemingly unsuspecting town.

It was late morning on Sunday, so the roads were rather barren. It was unusual, unsettling even, how truly quiet this place was. There was no traffic, no constant honking or people screaming about nothing to one another. The whole town lacked the usual perpetual buzz of life you were used to hearing your entire life. You’re not going to lie to yourself though, a part of you is kind of enjoying the placid nature of Hawkins.

As expected, there wasn’t much to see. You managed to find the library, police department, your new high school (go Tigers?), and a few restaurants but nothing that immediately jumped out at you and unfortunately there wasn't a pizza place sight. You’d only been driving around for about 20 minutes or so and you’re certain that you just saw everything Hawkins had to offer. You were about to head back home, ready to suffer through more boxes until you spotted a shopping center that was painted orange and purple.

“Oh an arcade!”

You never thought something as mundane as an arcade would get you so excited, but it was probably the most interesting thing you’ve seen so far. You pull into the shabby parking lot that had a few cars scattered about and parked in a hurry. You get out of the car and walk up to the double doors attempting to open them but they were locked. You notice a small sign with times on the window and see that the arcade didn’t open till 3pm. You check your watch: 11:00am

“Of course.” You sigh, shoulders sagging with defeat

All the excitement drains out of you in an instant. You lean in close to the glass and cup your hands around your eyes determined to get a better view inside.

“This place is actually rad…” You mumble to yourself.

“Hey, the arcade isn’t open yet.”

You nearly jump out of your shoes at the voice behind you. You whip around harshly, making yourself dizzy with the motion.

“Whoa, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you!”

A boy, about your age stands behind you with outstretched hands and an apologetic look. He’s wearing a hideous green colored vest that says ‘Family Video’

“Sneaking up on people like that usually scares them!” You shout, voice shaky with fear and adrenaline. You put your hand over your chest to keep your heart from beating out of it. The nerve of this guy!

“Yea, yea you’re right. Totally my bad.” He eyes you curiously.

“Ok well. Thanks for the info. I’ll just be on my way.” You say, tiptoeing cautiously back to your car.

“Wait! I actually work at Family Video. It’s just down the end of this building.” He points. “We uh. We just opened up for the day.”

You briefly look into the direction of where he’s pointing, still wary of his presence. You shrug your shoulders and turn back waiting for him to continue.

“And?”

“And I feel bad for scaring you. How about you stop in and pick out a movie to rent? Free of charge of course.” He runs a hand through his voluminous hair, making it impossibly fuller, and puts on what you think might be a smoldering look. You can’t help but roll your eyes.

I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name…?”

“Oh it’s Steve.” He puts his hand on his chest and stands up a little taller. “Steve Harringto—”

“Are you hitting on me, Steve?” You ask bluntly.

“Yes…?” He answers with a grimace, and you snort.

“Sorry, not interested, but I’ll definitely take you up on that free movie.”

Steve’s mouth hangs open for a bit before he shuts it with a resounding click and shakes his head laughing, clearly not offended at the rejection.

“You know what, that’s fair, I did offer.” He puts his hands in his pockets and scuffs the tip of his shoe against the concrete. “And what did you say your name was?”

“I didn’t.” You walk past him smirking.

A bell chimes above the glass door as you enter Family Video. It’s much bigger than your average movie rental store, which doesn’t surprise you to some degree. With not much to do in Hawkins, it’s only fitting that they have an above average place like this to cater to weekends and school breaks much like this week. Steve walks in just after you and shouts into an empty store.

“Yo Rob! Got someone you can help out!”

“Alright Dingus, no need to yell! Geez!” A disembodied voice calls out from somewhere.

“You’re not helping me?” You turn to Steve with a cheeky expression.

“Yea no. I’m taking my bruised ego and going to do inventory out of sight.”

You genuinely laugh, and so does he. Despite an awkward first encounter, he doesn’t seem so bad, at least he’s being a good sport about earlier. Steve leaves you standing in the middle of the store as he disappears behind a door in the back. You look around, taking in all of the movie titles packed on shelves and the fun posters plastered on the walls. You hear mumbling and rustling coming from behind the register. You walk over and lean on the counter only to see a young woman sitting crossed legged on the floor, sorting some empty VHS cases into stacks.

“Hello?” You say gently, careful not to startle the girl, unlike some people.

The girl looks up from her spot and you feel your breath catch in your throat the moment she locks eyes with you. Her eyes are a beautiful deep blue and her face is littered with the most adorable freckles you’ve ever seen. She smiles, crooked and toothy and you would have fallen over if you weren’t leaning your weight on the counter top.

“Oh hi!” Her voice is raspy, and it cracks slightly, making your ears twitch. She stands up and brushes off her vest. She’s wearing a loose fitting suit with the sleeves rolled up, complete with a tie and blazer. Even though her clothes seem to be oversized in every aspect, she still looks incredibly dashing. “Sorry, I kinda got lost in what I was doing. My coworker said you needed some help?”

You look at the lopsided name tag she has pinned on her vest.

Well, hello there Robin.

You slightly shake your head to clear your thoughts and remember you need to stop staring and say actual words like a normal human being.

“Y—yea. Your coworker graciously offered me a free rental on account of him walking up to me like a creep in the parking lot and scaring the hell out of me.”

Robin groans and runs a hand over her face. You immediately take notice of the pretty, silver rings she has on her fingers, particularly the ring with a small chain connected to her bracelet.

“Oh no. I apologize for whatever he did.” She says flatly.

“Nah. It’s fine. I know he didn’t mean to, but I think his attempt at flirting scared me even more.”

Robin laughs with a minor squeak at the end, and you swear you felt your heart do gymnastics against your sternum.

“Leave it to Steve to flirt with every pretty girl that crosses his path.” Robin sighs.

Your eyebrows quirk up when you hear the word ‘pretty’ and Robin seems to have caught on to what she said rather quickly. For a split second, you see a flash of panic in her eyes, but it disappears just as fast as it came. She clears her throat and tugs on the collar of her button up.

“Did uh—did you have a movie in mind?” She asks shakily.

You didn’t really have a whole lot of time dedicated to watching movies as of late, considering your parents divorce and all the time that took up from your life. You don’t even know what’s out or what’s good. You're so out of the loop of what’s popular right now.

“Ah, I don’t know. Maybe something funny? My family could definitely use a good laugh.” You try to smile, hoping your voice didn’t come off too sad.

“Y—yea, a good laugh never hurts.” Robin lets out a breath she was holding. “Our comedy section is over here. I’ll show you.”

Robin stumbles out from behind the counter, knocking over an organized stack of VHS’s she was compiling. She makes a frustrated sound and waves her hand dismissively at her now ruined work. You follow behind her, quietly admiring the full ensemble that is her suit.

“I like your suit.” You blurt out. So much for quietly admiring.

“Oh!” She spins on her heels to face you and walks slowly backward, rubbing the back of her neck meekly. “Thanks uh. Sometimes I get weird looks from customers.”

You scoff. “Well, those people obviously have no sense of style. You pull it off very well.”

Robin beams and shyly ducks her head, you definitely don’t miss the light pink blush colored on her cheeks, making her freckles stand out even more. She spins around again and almost trips on her untied shoelaces of her converse, but she tries to play it off like a skip. You giggle behind your hand and see the tips of her ears go adorably red.

“So um, here’s the comedy movies, and this shelf has the newer releases”

You examine the numerous titles on display, none really stand out to you immediately. Hell, renting a movie wasn’t even on your agenda today, so you go completely blank trying to choose.

“Have a recommendation?” You ask after a moment.

Robin hums and taps at her lips, pondering. You stare at her pursed mouth and at the way the tendons in her hand shift every time she moves her finger.

God, keep it together and stop being weird.

“I’m not like, the biggest comedy connoisseur, but—”

Robin reaches for a movie on the newer release shelf and holds it up with both hands framing it.

“Have you seen the first Vacation movie?” She asks.

“Oh I actually have! I enjoyed how stupid funny it was.”

“Well—” She hands you the case. “This is the sequel, European Vacation. I think most people like the first one better but that’s usually the case when it comes to sequels, right? The first one is always better, but this one is still good. A lot of hilarious moments. Of course, you don’t have to choose this one, you can choose something else—”

Robin is suddenly talking a mile a minute, gesturing wildly with her hands while doing so. You’re taken off guard with the sudden outpouring of words, but you keep up, hanging on to everything she says. You study her, totally fascinated with her scratchy voice and how animated her face is. You don’t ever want her to stop talking.

“—I’m not sure why I picked this one out, maybe it’s because I saw it with my dad last summer and it’s kinda the only comedy movie I know of right now. Or I—um.”

You smile softly and nod your head, letting her know that you were listening, but she frowns, internally scolding herself and she deflates.

“God, I’m so sorry. Didn’t mean to go on like that.” She runs a hand through her tousled honey hair and pulls at the roots in obvious frustration.

“Hey no, don’t apologize.” Your heart cracks at the sight of her looking so visibly upset with herself and you wonder if it happens often. “You sold me, I’ll get this one!“

“Oh, are you sure?” Robin looks unconvinced.

“Of course. I’ve always wanted to see this one anyway, I just haven’t had the time.” You smile trying to assure her.

Robin takes a deep breath through her nose, spinning the ring on her middle finger with her thumb.

“Cool, cool. I’ll get you rung up.”

You follow Robin back to the register. She quickly finds the tape in a drawer and puts it in the case snapping it shut. You open your bag pulling out your wallet, riffling through its contents for some cash. Robin tilts her head, looking at you quizzically.

“Hey, the movie is free, remember?”

“Oh I can pay for it. I know your coworker was just being silly, I really didn’t expect a free movie anyway.”

“Steve is always silly, but uh—what if—what if I insist?”

You freeze, and look up from your wallet. Robin is crimson red, and you feel like an arrow just penetrated your heart.

“Oh, you insist huh?” You tease.

You lean your elbows on the counter, cupping your face with both hands and boldly flutter your eyelashes. You think you might have laid it on a little too thick when Robin goes rigid where she stands, but then she starts choking on nothing and pulls at the collar of her shirt again.

“Yea. Yea I—I do.” She stutters and attempts to smile, voice cracking again. It’s an octave higher than what it has been this whole time and you feel your knees buckle again.

“Well I can’t argue with that.” You giggle as you put your wallet away.

Robin laughs nervously, clearly flustered, but you don’t want to think too much into it. You can’t, right?

“I still need to take down your information, you know, company policy and all.” Robin says with a wave of a hand as she boots up the computer behind the counter. “Name?”

You give her your name and Robin repeats it as she types it into the system. You know she’s just doing her job, but the way your name sounded falling from her lips sends your insides into a frenzy.

Chill out.

“Address?”

“Hmm? Oh, uh…”

You say your address after it took you a few seconds to remember it, and you watch hypnotized as Robin expertly types away on the keyboard, fingers dancing between each key, never missing a beat.

“Okay, you’re all set!” Robin chirps. She hands you the VHS and you grab it, fingers slightly brushing against hers. The contact was so light but it still made your stomach drop with how warm her skin was. Robin yanks her hand back quickly and you swear you hear her mutter an apology.

“Thanks for the help.” You clutch the VHS tight against your chest like it’s your most prized possession. “And thank Steve for me too, you know, for scaring me and offering a free movie as an apology.”

Robin shakes her head and laughs. “No problem. Uh, I’m Robin, by the way.” Robin points to her name tag and curses under her breath when she notices how crooked it is.

“Nice to meet you, Robin.” You smile.

And it really is. You feel fortunate that the first couple of people you meet in Hawkins seem to be decent. It’s like an enormous weight has been lifted off your shoulders. The weight of the unknown, the weight of your parents' divorce, the weight of moving over 800 miles to a strange, new place. You weren’t entirely sure what kind of people you were going to meet in this small town, but at least you know there could be some cool people out there. Maybe even people you could call friends in the future.

Robin’s expression softens, and she starts spinning her middle finger ring again, mouth opening and closing repeatedly like she’s searching for the right words.

“Hey, so are you new in town? Because I—”

She’s cut off by the bell chiming above the store door. A gaggle of kids, a few years younger than you, burst through the threshold chatting loudly at one another, penetrating the otherwise quiet store. A petite older girl with tight brown curls follows behind them, carrying a couple of coffees in her hands and looking completely miserable. Robin groans, and bonks her forehead a couple of times against the counter top softly.

“Okay so I’ve got a long list of movies we need for this week.”

“I don’t want to spend the entire spring break watching movies, Dustin!”

“I’m with Max on this one dude. We gotta do something actually fun.”

“Fun? Mike, talking to your girlfriend on the phone all day isn’t fun.”

“Shut up man!”

The group rushes up the counter, still talking over themselves, and Robin was having none of it.

“Nope, nope, nope! Go to Steve! He’s in the back room! I’m with a customer!” Robin says assertively, putting her hands out in front of her like a force field. Funny enough it seems to work, and the kids stop dead in their tracks.They quiet for a moment, blinking at one another, before they resume their bickering and storm off toward the back.

“Hey wait you can’t actually go back there—! Ah screw it. Steve’s problem.”

The brunette walks over with a sincere contrite look and slides a coffee on the counter top to Robin. Robin catches the sliding cup without looking, like they’ve rehearsed it a million times before.

“Sorry Robin, got you a coffee.”

“Thank you, Nance.” Robin says, devoid of any emotion.

She gives Robin one last apology before walking away toward the back, attempting to wrangle up the kids. You stare at Robin, the group, and then back to Robin, extremely intrigued.

“What was that?” You ask, giggling.

“Ugh, don’t ask.” Robin replies, gripping her coffee like a lifeline.

You shrug, still curious. “Well alright. What were you going to ask me?”

Robin tilts her head in confusion like a little puppy.

“You said something about me being new in town? Which I am by the way.”

“Oh!” Robin exclaims.

She’s suddenly very interested in a particular chipped edge of the counter, picking at it with her finger nail and trying her hardest to avoid eye contact with you.

“I was asking because, uh—you’re probably unfamiliar with our rental policy!” Robins snaps her fingers. “Yea, yea that was it. It’s um, 3 days.”

Disappointment hits you like a freight train, knocking all the wind out of your lungs. You’re not exactly sure what you wanted Robin to say, she barely knows you, and you barely know her, but the discontent you’re feeling is kind of surreal.

“Ah.” You say, trying very hard to mask the despondency in your voice. “Yea, I’ll be sure to remember.”

Robin doesn’t notice, at least you think, and maybe that’s a good thing. The welcoming bell chimes again as actual customers rush into the store, and you take that as que to leave before you make a fool of yourself.

“Well, I better get going.” You stuff the tape in your bag and take a deep breath. “Thanks again, Robin. I’ll see you around?”

“Y—yea. For sure.” Robin chews on her lip. “Have a good day.”

You give her a small smile and a half hearted wave before turning on your heels. You feel eyes burning a hole on your back as you leave the store, or maybe you’re just imagining it.

You look back over your shoulder, just as Robin seems to look away and take a sip of her coffee.

You drive straight back home.

You greet your mom, who’s still taking things out of boxes. Even though you weren’t gone for that long, you feel guilty for leaving her alone to deal with the moving mess. She’s surprised to see you back already. You insist that she take a break, and she fortunately relents after some convincing. You both sit on the singular couch in your living room, and you tell her about your brief adventure. You mention the places you found, (and places you didn’t find), how you scored a free movie, Steve, and Robin, but you end up talking about Robin more than anything else.

“Do they go to Hawkins High?” Your mom asks, elated that you met some people your age.

“I actually don’t know, maybe?”

You chat with your mom about anything and everything for a few minutes. It’s probably the most talkative you've been since you arrived at Hawkins and your mom is delighted to hear your voice sound happier than it has been for a while. She gives you the “I told you so” mom look, and you playfully swat at her arm, feeling a tad embarrassed, but having your mom laugh and smile with you completely unabashed makes your heart burst with familial love.

You clutch at your bag that's still wrapped around your front, and you feel the familiar shape of a VHS inside.

“Hey mom, feel like taking a longer break?”

You pull out European Vacation and wiggle it in your hand. Your mom sighs, but nods her head and grins ear to ear, knowing you both desperately need this reprieve, and spending quality time with each other wouldn’t hurt either. You’re grateful that one of the first things you and your mom did on move in day was set up the TV and VCR system, because god forbid your mom misses any episodes of General Hospital or All My Children. You hop off the couch and shove the tape inside, pressing the play button excitedly. Your mom pats the cushion next to her and you plop yourself back down, getting comfortable.

It doesn’t take long for your mind to start wandering during the movie. You’re enjoying it, and hearing your mom laugh so joyously and unrestrained when you haven't heard her sound like that in years almost makes you want to shed a tear, but you can’t help but think about Robin. Your stomach flutters every time her freckled face flashes through your mind. You find yourself smiling like an idiot, and it’s not because of the movie. Sure, you’ve only known her for a whopping 30 whole minutes, but it’s been a while since you were hit with a crush this hard so fast and you’re not quite sure how to handle it.

This isn’t New York. This place is completely different. You need to be careful.

You briefly glance at your mom, her attention fully glued to the TV screen and oblivious of your inner turmoil. You sigh softly. New York wasn't exactly the pinnacle of acceptance, but it’s without a doubt better than most places, and compared to a small town like Hawkins, it might as well be a sanctuary. You mentally scrub your mind, not wanting to overthink something as insignificant as a crush. Still, you have this inkling feeling that Robin might be, well, like you, or she could just be an extremely nervous person and it’s better not to deep dive and over analyze some of her reactions. Her nervous laughter, her blushed cheeks, the way she would spin that damn lovely ring on her finger over and over again–

“Honey, did you hear me?” Your mom’s soft voice makes you jump.

“What? S–sorry mom, what did you say?”

“I asked if you wanted some lunch after the movie is over.”

Oh yea, the movie. You refocus your eyes on the television and remember that you’re suppose to be watching. You only feel slightly bad that you’re not really paying attention, but you’re not going to let your mom know that.

“Yes please.” You smile and readjust your position on the couch to be more attentive.

You are already in so deep, there was no point in trying to snuff it out. A few days into your new life and your heart is already going to get you into trouble. It’s infuriating how badly you want to get to know Robin more. Can you be hung up on someone you just met? It doesn’t seem right, or maybe it’s perfectly right? You wonder if Robin is thinking the same things right now No, no, definitely not. There is one thing you know for sure…

It’s going to be an interesting week.

#robin buckley x female reader #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley x you #robin buckley imagine #robin buckley fanfiction #robin buckley fanfic #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction

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adelaiderhosynweasley · 11 months ago

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Addie couldn’t keep her leg from bouncing as she glanced at the board and back to her homework, then the board again. The anticipation, the waiting, it was murder. Adelaide couldn’t remember a time when she had been so keyed up, not since… not since starting Hogwarts for the first time ever, she didn’t think. Sure, last year with the play she had been nervous, but she’d also had other to fall back on during that. They had all been in it together, working diligently towards the final result that had gotten a standing ovation at the end of it. Even though it had only been months ago, it felt like ages. This time, with Quidditch, it was all solely on Addie’s own performance for whether she had made the team or not. There was no one to look to this time, no one to share the burden of failure if she didn’t get it. It would all fall upon her own shoulders. The Ravenclaw scratched at her arms then, the skin itchy and irritable to the point where she was wondering if she should go ask Vic for a different kind of lotion than the one she occasionally used in the winter when her hands got chapped and dry. She’d never had any kind of allergic reaction to anything before and there was nothing new in her environment to trigger such a thing anyway. Unless maybe the washing solution used here at school had been changed, but her clothes didn’t smell any different than usual. No, her skin was probably just… dry or something, even if it didn’t look it. It had been particularly bothersome this whole week. Had she maybe gotten some of Willow’s itching powder on herself from that prank they had played on Zander? But no, wouldn’t that have washed off by now? The skin on Addie’s left arm was starting to turn a bit red from the scratching by the time Gulliver was exclaiming from beside her. Even with his mouth full of chocolate, she knew what it was about.

The brunette’s eyes went automatically to the board where the Quidditch captain was holding his arms up, moving out of the way as the horde of students came at him. He made it far enough from the bulletin board to not get taken out in the process. Addie sat there, unable to move, her brown eyes shifting back to Gully’s face but not really seeing him as she felt her blood begin to pound in her head. This was it… If she hadn’t made the team, there was always next year, if she even had the confidence to try out again after working so hard this past time already. If she didn’t made it, she probably wouldn’t bother again, would just… give it up because what would the point be? She was already in her fourth year, if she didn’t make it… if she didn’t beat out a third year for a spot… Ugh, what had she even been thinking!? There was no way she was going to make that team. There were so many other better options for the captain to have chosen over her… Maybe she shouldn’t even go look at the list. Or at least wait until the crowd had died down enough to get through more easily. Addie was tall, but she wasn’t about to go pushing people out of the way when she wasn’t even sure if she’d see her name there.

It was Gulliver that broke Addie out of her head. She stared at him, her name flowing from his lips a couple of times before she heard him. She blinked, still frozen in place, but then his hand was on hers and Addie gripped onto him tightly. Right. She could do this. Her friends were right here with her. So what if she hadn’t made it? They’d still love her anyway and they had plenty of other things to be doing that weren’t silly stupid old Quidditch. Adelaide pushed to her feet, letting Gully drag her towards the bulletin board, not giving her an option of waiting it out. He pulled her right on through the crowd, pushing forward in that way only someone who has grown up with siblings knows how to. Addie brought her free hand to her lips, nibbling on a fingernail as her eyes scanned the list, searching for her name and not seeing it… the writing on the page began to blur a bit as her eyes defocused, panning to everything and anything but the list now, unable to even finish reading it. She tried to refocus, but then someone was saying her name.

Addie looked up, turning her head to find the captain of the team. He was here to apologize, to let her know that she hadn’t done well enough, that he thought she better stick to other things instead because she just wasn’t cut out for-

“You’re going to be a great beater…”

Addie’s head whipped back around to look at the roster again. Her eyes landed on the Beaters and there, written just underneath, was her name. The churning that had begun to roll around in her stomach flared, but it was not longer unpleasant. Joy flooded her and Addie turned her attention back to the captain as he clapped her on the shoulder. Her whole being lit up with the smile that spread across her face then, her grip on Gully’s hand tightening as she squeezed onto him in excitement now. “Thank you. I won’t let you down, I swear!”

The Ravenclaw turned to her best mate, releasing a squeal as he let go of her hand and started jumping. Addie joined him, the smile on his face infectious. Addie turned around as she bounced, raising both hands in the air as she looked at the rest of her friends in absolute victory. She’d done it! She had to text her Papa, he was going to be so proud of her, she just knew it.

The next few weeks were the absolute busiest Addie had ever been in her entire school career. On top of her classes and homework, she had the Nugget Club and with Quidditch added to the mix, it was as if she never had a spare moment for anything else. The Ravenclaw captain was serious about the team doing well this year and had booked extra practices on the pitch in order to get them all working together and learning the plays as quickly as possible. Addie would have to rush straight from there to club, barely stopping to grab something to eat in between and half the time she was smeared with mud. After club, she still had the homework and studying to do that used to happen when she now had Quidditch practice. Addie hadn’t anticipated her schedule becoming so very full so quickly, but she was a fourth year now. Maybe if she hadn’t been one of the co-founders of the club, she might have skived off once or twice a week when they were just doing basic things they didn’t necessarily need her for but she felt a profound amount of responsibility not to miss it. The club existed because of her and her friends after all. It was part of her duties to make sure it did well and not just… push it off on the rest of them. Even if she was slogging tiredly to breakfast in the morning and it was beginning to show.

“Mmm?” Addie lifted her head from her arms as M’n’M spoke to her in the club room one afternoon. She had just been through a particularly grueling practice in the rain because they only postponed for lightning and her hair was still wet even if she’d changed clothes. “What was it again?”

“I was asking if you thought we should use real metal for dance belts or if you think the jingling would interrupt the actual music.” M’n’M asked, holding up a bit of gauze with jangling beads and metal bits hanging down from it. It was pretty, that was for sure, but would it be too loud? Addie took the bit in her hands and gave it a shake.

“Maybe replace some of the coin-bits with shiny stiff bits to muffle it without fully taking away the whole jingle?” Addie suggested, knowing that they could easily make some fabric coins to look similar enough to the real ones so they would still look good on stage. The Ravenclaw yawned, bringing a hand to her face and rubbing at one eye.

“Sounds good… Y’know, you can go up to bed if you want. We’ll be fine here.” M’n’M promised as she took back the dancing skirt. “We can save sound questions for another day.”

“It’s fine.” Addie insisted, waving a hand and turning her attention back to… what had she been working on? She looked down at the slightly smudged music paper on the table in front of her. Right. Editing the score a bit so it would work with what they had for instruments. There were more this year, with the introduction of new first years and more people were interested in joining up now that they had seen how well last year’s production had gone. M’n’M frowned but nodded, heading back across the room.

“Gully, I thought you were going to talk to her.” M’n’M whispered, though her voice carried a bit in the otherwise fairly quiet space. The majority of their cast list was next door working on dances with Zander and the rest of them were currently on costumes. Addie glanced up from her sheet music.

“Talk to me about what?”

That ‘Veela’ Shit

The summer had been probably one of the absolute best ones Adelaide had experienced in her life. After that first sleepover with Gulliver, it was like some kind of barrier had been broken down when it came to her parents and they had allowed the pair to hang out more. Most of the time, it was Gully who was coming over, where Louis and Caerwyn could keep a close eye on the pair to make sure there were no shenanigans going on that they wanted to avoid. Gulliver though, proved to be just as behind in his development as Addie and the more the Weasleys got to know him, the more comfortable they became with his presence. Well, Caerwyn and the kids had at least, but Louis was still wary, still overprotective. Sleeping bags were always stuck down to the floor in the living room, musicals were watched, instruments were shared, and sand was tracked into the house stuck in bathing suits. Beside the salted caramel jar in the cupboard, a similarily shaped one of hot fudge had become a kind of staple, Gully’s favorite snack the same way cheetos were Addie’s. It had gotten to the point where Adelaide was asking nearly every day if he could come over or if she could possibly go to his. That had only been allowed the once, Addie spending the night at the Stonefyres home among a multitude of other children who had all piled onto the living room floor in piles of blankets, pillows, and sleeping bags. Gully’s older sister had baked them all snacks, they had gone swimming down in the lake, had a large bonfire where the boy’s many assorted uncles had gladly helped the Ravenclaw learn some new tricks on her violin that had really improved her ability to play it. Adelaide had been sad to leave the next day, even if she was happy to see her own family again. All in all, the pair of young Ravenclaws had ended up having maybe two or three sleepovers a week by the time the summer was over. By the fifth one, Louis had given in and opted for allowing their fireplace to connect directly to the Stonefyres’ over the Floo Network, something he didn’t do lightly, but it was better than constantly taking the Knight Bus to retrieve the annoying little redhead. Obviously, the kids still had to ask permission, but it made it easier for them to see eachother. Addie had written to Sunny to see if she wanted to come over for a night, but the blonde had already been at Willow’s grandmother’s by that point, but they would see eachother when school started back up again. Their reunion had been a bit… awkward. The pair hadn’t spent the entire summer apart after first or second year, but the gap that had been there at the end of the school year had remained. Addie still loved Sunny dearly, still considered her one of her best friends, but there was no pretending that their interests had changed as the blonde embraced puberty and Addie remained behind.

Getting on the train on the first had been a tearful event, but not for the usual reason of Addie being anxious. Rather, she was excited for school to start back up, for the club to get going on their next play and maybe, if she had the balls enough, to perhaps try out for the Quidditch team . She had debated it the year before but decided against it, figuring she wouldn’t be good enough. After playing a pick up game with Gully’s sisters and cousins though, she was feeling more confidant about her abilities and thought, maybe, just maybe… Her Dad had been on the team in school and Quidditch was something Adelaide enjoyed even if she didn’t talk about it nearly as much as she did chickens or music. The tears that had really been shed that day had come from her two younger cousins, Briar and Thistle, who were off for their very first year. They would be twelve soon enough, late fall babies, but being slightly older didn’t exactly fully prepare them for being away from their parents and sisters for the first time ever. Addie had understood, fully, what they were going through and had kept them close throughout the journey, introducing them to other friends, watching them calm even further as Zander joined them in their compartment. Another familiar face. It had been a tight squeeze with all of them actually. Addie, the twins, Sunny, Willow, Zander, Gully, and then M’n’M who had tripped over her robes and ended up in Addie’s lap when she’d finally located them. There had been a lot of joking, pranks, snacks, and games to cheer the two younger girls up and by the time they were arriving, Briar and Thistle were looking a good deal more relaxed. Enough to be smiling, if nervous, during their sorting where they, thankfully, had been placed in the same house. Addie knew it would be a similar situation next year, when her own siblings would both be eleven. Owena would be absolutely fine, but Rhydian was… well, he was already begging to continue to be homeschooled.

The first few weeks of school passed in a blur. Adelaide had not been anticipating their work getting even harder than it had been the previous year when they’d added more classes to their schedules, but now that they had hit fourth year… Well, the professors were already talking about their O.W.Ls that they wouldn’t even be taking until the end of their fifth year! Even so, getting back into the groove of things, of seeing all of her friends, and being in the club room again after being gone for the summer was just as fun as Addie had been anticipating. Professor Mendes had greeted them all with a gentle smile when they had traipsed into the room for their first meeting of the year, though the poor man had been giggled at and informed, point blank by Gully that ‘Auntie Freya got lipstick on you again, Uncle Max.” The professor had turned pink and found a mirror to try and get the bright cherry red lip print off of his cheek while the club had settled into trying to decide what they were going to be doing for a play this winter. They would have three and a halfish months to prepare the cast, the scenery, the music, the props and costumes. There was a great smattering of agreement about doing the pirate show they all liked a good deal, but there was also a suggestion of putting on one of the classic Beedle stories. Before the brunette knew it, they were nearly a month into the school year and the postings for Quidditch try-outs had gone up. She had brought her broomstick along, a hand-me-down from her dad that was still in good condition, and signed up before she could psych herself out of it. Thus, it was on the pitch that Adelaide found herself on a slightly foggy Saturday morning, nerves and coffee coursing through her system due to a lack of sleep caused by anxiety. Her eyes shifted to the stands were she could see the familiar shock of Gulliver’s red hair. Sunny waved to her, a bright grin on her face while Zander locked Gully under one arm, trying to fight him for the piece of toast he’d brought along. Willow appeared, running up the steps, her arms containing snacks to keep them all refreshed while they watched the try-outs. Gully had been the only one not surprised when she’d mentioned she’d signed up, having already mentioned it to him over the summer, but all of her mates had pressed her with encouragement and now, they were here, ready to cheer her on.

Addie gulped, clutching her broom tightly as the Ravenclaw captain marched across the pitch in front of them, indicating where each of them should group up depending on which position they were aiming for. Adelaide joined the other potential Chasers, having the most practice with that particular position, and looked up at the stands again, brow furrowed with a nervousness she couldn’t hide completely behind a cool exterior like her parents might have been able to. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she glanced down at it.

‘You got this, Feathers.’

Addie smiled and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. Yes, she had this. The worst thing that could happen would be she wouldn’t make the team and as disappointing as that would be, it wouldn’t kill her.

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