#(and if i'm remembering right there are instances of her friends telling her it's okay to focus on herself. but maybe I'm fabricating that)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for how I reacted after I discovered my ex has herpes?

So I initially was quite sure that I was not the asshole in this situation, but my friend group, who are usually pretty level-headed, seem to be split about it. Thought I'd get some impartial opinions, because if I'm in the wrong, I want to try to make it better.

I (mid 20s, F) recently ran into my ex (mid 20s, F). Over the course of the conversation, she mentioned that she had a flare-up of cold sores. For those who don't know, cold sores are a symptom of HSV-1, or herpes. I asked if she was okay and how long she's been having them. Turns out she was diagnosed with herpes 10 years ago, and she knew she had it but didn't share that with me. Which means I was exposed during the 8 months we were together.

I asked her if she'd had any flare-ups while we were together. She said yes but that she'd taken precautions so it was fine. The thing is, I'm immunocompromised and also have eczema, which means that if I get herpes, it might be quite dangerous for me (encephalitis and eczema herpeticum, for instance).

I shared this with her and asked her if she could remember the specific dates of flare-ups when we were together and if she knew where I could get blood work done (I moved abroad a year ago and don't really know how that works here). She knew about my health conditions before we started dating.

She became upset and said that I was distressing her and accusing her of not caring about my health and trying to pass it to me on purpose.

I tried to say that I was sorry if it came across that way, and that I was just trying to get as much information as possible because of my immune issues. I also tried to add that she might consider sharing her condition with future partners. She raised her voice and said that I was trying to prevent her from moving on and living a regular life.

My perspective is that it was unfair of her not to tell me beforehand so I could take proper precautions in consultation with my healthcare specialist, and that it wasn't unreasonable of me to ask her for more information and to want to get blood work done right away.

Hers is that I'm overreacting and that asking her for the information and being worried about her having herpes is taking things too far and making her out to be a bad person.

Some of my friends agree with me, but the other half think that I shouldn't have asked her anything and just have gone to get tested because I should have seen that it would be an upsetting subject for her.

I'm open to whatever you all think because if I've been unfair to her then of course I want to apologize. Thanks for reading this!

[somewhereincairparavel]

General Jason Grace headcanons ⚡

⚡ I feel like he's kinda sensitive. He isn't the crier type of sensitive tho but since he's super emotionally attuned to body language reading and stuff, he gets a little hurt easily, sometimes misinterpreting someone's behaviour to him, so maybe if one of his friend's start getting snappy with him because they're having a bad day, he'd actually be pretty damn upset about it, but would hide it.

⚡ Also also, this man HATES being yelled at. Sure, he's been trained harshly and stuff but he's very hard on himself too so I feel like if someone yells at him (like in an argument or something) the poor boy's whole day would be ruined.

⚡ This is also why I feel like he NEVER raises his voice harshly at anyone even if he's super super angry because he knows how much damage yelling can do.

⚡ But. He can still manage to be terrifying if he's mad. He'd have that intense icy stare directed at the person (I'm pretty sure this is canon and is pointed out by multiple characters in the books). And his voice would be steady but VERY firm and strong. Kinda like a strict dad.

⚡ Also, his eyes would get a slight shade lighter if he's super angry. Like he usually has bright electric blue eyes right? It would just turn into ice colured ones.

⚡ Okay I feel like before they all go to bed, he'd go check on everyone in the Argo ii to see if they're comfortable or if they need anything, etc. definitely an overbearing mother friend tbh. He gets this habit from camp Jupiter where he was kinda in charge for cabin rounds since he was centurion.

⚡ I hc him to have like lemony yellow hair, instead of platinum or golden blonde. It's not too light but it isn't dark either.

⚡ Why do I feel like sun tan literally never affects this guy? Like for instance, I totally hc that percy gets tanned pretty quickly, but this man's skin just wouldn't budge. Instead of his body getting tanned I feel like his hair would get a few yellow shades darker instead lol

⚡ I felt like he'd be sunburnt instead tho. There would be blotchy pink patches on his face and arms after he comes back from the beach.

⚡ He definitely LOVES his roman baths, could spend hours in that bath (honestly if u guys have seen traditional Roman baths, you'd know that they look like a spa day DREAM omg) so he would feel super disoriented when he has regular baths in chb instead and would miss Roman baths SO badly.

⚡ Like the Roman baths literally ease his muscle tension after a long day. It would be like the only part of the day in camp Jupiter that would actually feel relaxing for him.

⚡ He's such a foodie okay. Remember how he kept munching on his brownies religiously when the crew were in such a dangerous situation? ("Pass me the brownies bro") or when he loved the sweet stuff the snake people had made for them? Like food just makes him forget his duties and be a kid for once.

⚡ Which leads us to our next hc, he has such a sweet tooth! (Tho I feel like this was aluded many times in the books aswell). Like he's every dentist's nightmare tbh. He has like teeth stains which he'd deliberately try to get rid of by aggressively brushing his teeth (it does come off lol)

⚡ As opposed to what people usually assume about him. Jason is secretly such a hopeless romantic tbh. Nothing like his dad in that category. Remember how he snuck Piper out the window, led her into his secret rooftop passage simply to recreate their first kiss under the stars, since Piper was super upset about it being fake? Yeah, he hates upsetting his s/o. he's like super thoughtful and plans stuff like these days ahead so he doesn't forget :(

⚡ He's such a people pleaser even with people he barely knows, and the effect only doubles when he has a partner tbh. Like if his partner doesn't like a particular place? He won't like it either. So he needs someone to encourage him and tell him it's okay to like something the others dislike.

⚡ Which is also why I think that he'd be easier to emotionally guilt trip and manipulate. :(( somone wrap him up in a fluffy blanky pls

⚡ As opposed to canon, I feel like Jason only dislikes Camp Jupiter, not New Rome itself. He ADORES that place to shreds. I feel like instead of settling in a mortal area or something, he'd definitely stay in New Rome for long-term living (bc screw canon, him wanting to leave new Rome all together seems SO ooc to me idk) some parts of his roman self would ALWAYS be there tbh. That place was practically his home. Also, he only wants a peaceful, monster free life right? New Rome would obviously provide with all that, yk since they have a strong barrier for the city to prevent invasion.

⚡ He would have an aptitude for sculpting statues and stuff. He'd love to do it as a hobby, not like an architect or something like annabeth tho. He made such cool dioramas for his shrine ideas, so I feel like he just pours his heart and soul into making cool sculptures.

⚡ He would totally study in law school. His dad's legit the god of justice, he's a great speaker, can hold debates calmly, can canonically hear both sides of an argument before coming to a decision, seems very lawyer coded.

⚡ But he'd also be a good history professor. Have yall heard his yapping? Leo called him professor Grace for how much dedication he goes into explaining roman history. And he genuinely LOVES it. A very passionate teacher material to me.

⚡ Also, all he wants is for his partner to listen to him talk :( he has SO much to say but he feels like no one listens, so hed literally cry if someone takes interest in his long explanations (kind of like annabeth in this tbh)

⚡ Also, Octavian can NEVER argue with Jason because that man is just THAT good at smart and witty answers that even octavian saw him as a threat.

[aeirithgainsborough]

i'm curious, do you know why or have and theories on why they make cloti kiss but clerith only hug/hold hands? I was thinking that clerith is more pure and their love is slowly blossoming aka slowburn which I find cute and very fitting for them but the clerith shipper in me is angry bc I would have loved to see them kiss LOL what are your thoughts?

I’ll be real with you, I don’t think either ship should have had a kiss yet and im astonished CT did and how it happened, i think its spoiled all the build up having it there when they’ve been arguing a lot and that it would have been so much more poignant after the LS sequence but now the moment is gone on a poorly framed kiss they’re never going to talk about again bcus it has no relevance to the plot. Thats why they have them agree not to talk about it. I think it’s a shame for people who have waited for 27yrs for that moment. And then after it no matter what they all have to play as Cloud has many non optional romantic moments with Aerith in ch 13 + 14. Reviews have mentioned how off and disjoined it is. I think that’s why they made sure to emphasise before the game came out that the dates were meant to be fun but don’t impact the story. But id be pissed if id waited that long for a kiss and that’s how i got it. and especially that in one route cloud looks like a dick but in another he doesn’t; that should really tell them something about the story. Why they gave them one idk, but I kinda wonder if it was getting them on the hook for p3 cus the last 2 chapters made CT fans real mad (even if they’re pretending otherwise on main, ppl have seen their discord and they’re not happy).

I think CA don’t kiss for a few reasons:

Cloud has remembered Zack, albeit incorrectly, much earlier. Through the game he has instances of jealousy towards him and that becomes more uncomfortable and confusing once he’s remembered they were friends. This has just happed before the dates and why when they get on skywheel he’s a bit awkward and won’t sit beside her! Of course that doesn’t last long; it was either nojima or nomura but one of them said in remake that cloud tries to keep distance between him and Aerith but he can’t do it 🥰🥰 but Zack definitely makes him more reluctant and unsure. Even when he reaches to take her hand it’s slow and cautious bcus he doesn’t know if it’s okay. And of course it is!

Aerith is fully aware Cloud is not himself. On his GS date she tells him she’s trying so hard to find him but in case you missed that as you did a different date, she also says it again in the sleeping forest; that cloud should focus on the real him she’s been looking for and leave Sephiroth to her. She knows there’s something up and kissing him knowing that is not something I think Aerith would do.

CA are the love that could never be ship. In the trailer for the 97 game, that was what they were described as. Part of the tragedy of clerith is that they have these budding feelings but before they have a chance to go anywhere Aerith is murdered. In the original cloud realises the depth of his feelings too late: at the end he says ‘I think I understand now’ and then expresses his desire to meet Aerith in the promised land. And all crossover material he’s in emphasises that he’s always looking for her. They are a star crossed lovers ship. And cloud is also dense and emotionally a mess; yes he likes her clearly, he shows jealousy for Zack, he goes on dates with her, he holds her hand and looks so happy to do so, but he can’t put all those feelings he has and come up with the right answer. In the church she confesses and he doesn’t quite get it and she, linking to her resolution imo (don’t fall in love with me) drops it and apologises and hugs him instead. This is all in line with the OG, that he’ll be hit with the full force of his feelings and what she meant in p3. Remember he’s just said he wants to go on more dates to create more ‘our spots’ with her. She looks happy and then sad when he says this because yay he likes her he wants to do this again, but of course she knows what he doesn’t: that they are about to run out of time.

So that is why I think they don’t kiss. I think it makes sense they didn’t! But I do think they’ll kiss in p3 for sure.

[ultrone]

Can you describe the dynamics of jackienat?

I know it is not naty bully jackie and jackie start crying like people are characterizing it in their fic.

ofc 😁 i can write some bullet points on the way i see it

keep in mind that i haven’t had time to rewatch the show so maybe some details might be off lmaoo if there's anything i forgot to add u can lmk

i honestly don’t think they’d bully each other at all 😭 i see that more as a headcanon. i know that many people like to think that since nat is an “outcast” and jackie is the stereotypical popular blonde girl, they would pick on each other and stuff, but i disagree. although they do fit those stereotypes in terms of looks, that doesn't necessarily dictate their actions lmaoo.

on the show, you can see that most of the times that jackie was portrayed as a brat or an asshole was through shauna's perspective/narration or when she was calling everybody out for doing weird shit, like when the girls almost killed travis and then pretended that it didn't happen.

the one time i remember jackie being actually mean was when she lashed out and called nat a slut for sleeping with travis instead of getting food, which obviously was wrong because she was in fact mean, but haven’t we all lashed out at someone at some point? that doesn't mean u're a bad person 😭 this explains it more in-depth.

and in general, regardless of jackie's stubborn attitude when adjusting to the wilderness, you can see that she's a very nice person. for example, it's evident when she helped misty put on makeup and told her that she deserves to be loved, or when she gave her last piece of food to shauna cuz she was feeling sick. not only that, but most people also acknowledge that she's a nice person. for instance, when the girls were talking about excluding allie, someone said not to tell jackie about it, probably because she wouldn't be cool with doing that. the coach chose her as the team captain because she influences and motivates people. and when shauna noticed jackie's stubborn behavior after the crash and gave her the pep talk, she said, and i quote, that she “makes people feel like things are gonna be okay just by showing up, and her dumb hot awesome self" lmaoo 😭 that should be enough proof.

as for nat, i have nothing to say other than i think we can all agree with the fact that even though she puts up this strong and aloof facade, on the inside, she's very sweet and caring. despite being labeled as the "outcast" who engages in drugs, drinks, and possibly breaks the rules, it doesn't mean that she's a bully or anything of that sort. most of the times i recall her being mean or acting like an asshole were when she was defending herself because someone else had picked on her first. for instance, when tai would tease her about her addictions or when she threw the alcohol bottle at those guys who were teasing her and her friends, or during that fight with jackie, that jackie started. i know there might be other instances where she lashed out first, but i honestly don't remember right now 😭 nonetheless, i think y'all get what i'm trying to get at lmaoooo. i also don't think she'd bully anyone because she's just not that type of resentful outcasted bitch LMAOO. a proof of this is that she was always against the plan of excluding allie—and then confronted shauna about it at the bonfire when everyone started arguing 🥊🥊 my girl might be bold and blunt but she's mad chill and don't even argue with me about that 🙄

WITH THAT BEING SAID, taking all those things into account, i don't think either of them would bully the other for no reason, as they're not the type of people to go around bullying others for fun. just because nat is your stereotypical alternative rule breaker and jackie is your stereotypical hot popular girl, it's not a good enough reason to believe that they would bully each other.

NOW, let's talk about their relationship.

the initial interactions we witness between them, occurring both in the pilot and throughout the show, involve nat bringing some sense into jackie lmaoo. for instance, in the pilot, when jackie mentioned that allie's wound "might not be as bad as it looks," nat responded, "you could see her fucking bones, jackie." this highlights nat's unwillingness to indulge in jackie's optimistic—and perhaps slightly naive—outlook and shows her straightforward and blunt nature. so, right from the first episode, we start to see the contrast in their personalities.

then, the first direct interaction that we see between them is jackie telling her, "nat, i love that you don't care what anybody thinks, and you're so completely yourself." instead of viewing her as an outcast or teasing her due to her addictions like others do, jackie admires how she doesn't care about people's opinions, probably because jackie herself does care about what others think.

i don't recall seeing many (if any) deep conversations between jackie and nat that highlight their friendship more in-depth out in the wilderness. however, one thing i know for sure is that by the last episodes of the first season, jackie and nat are pretty much the only two team members not buying into lottie's beliefs. even if they did argue and have disagreements, what would have happened if nat had been present in the cabin during jackie and shauna's fight? in my opinion, nat would've definitely defended jackie. i know that there might've been some recent resentment toward jackie cuz she slept with travis the night before, but they share a similar perspective regarding not worshiping lottie, and we know about nat's blunt and outspoken nature, which contrasts with jackie's. nat would've seen jackie struggling without anyone defending her and would certainly voice her thoughts, especially when jackie confronted everyone about nearly killing travis, because nat would've agreed with her. not only that, but she could've even defended her from shauna. although it's technically none of her business, shauna was clearly coming at jackie out of jealousy, and even admitted that she slept with jeff and was pregnant with his baby. not a single person called shauna out on it, letting it slide due to their resentment toward jackie for calling them out on their weird-ass behaviour, but nat wasn't being blinded by that, because she didn't believe in that bs. i just know that nat wouldn't have let that slide. she would've shut shauna's and mari's ass in record time and left the cabin with jackie.

and nat was literally the only one who buried jackie's remains when no one else would, not even shauna, who was consumed by guilt for what happened to jackie.

if nat had intervened, jackie might probably still be alive, and we could've seen more of their friendship. perhaps they would've grown closer or formed an alliance of some sort, but i guess we'll never know 😔

[our-aroace-experience]

I'm aromatic and that's all I've ever told people I'm probably on the ace spectrum but I've never ever once TOLD a person I was ace. I've identified myself with aro and I'm comfortable in it and my identity but every and I mean EVERY person I've known and told about me being aro will tell others and when referencing me to myself says ace. I had a friend who had many labels and I thought they'd understand that I'm aro not ace cause they used they/them and neopronouns but EVERY AND I MEAN EVERY TIME XE INTRODUCED SOMEONE TO ME They'd say I'm ace.

"oh this is dense she's ace"

"I'm actually aromatic"

"same thing".

"I know your so done hearing me talk about dating people and having crush being ace and all"

"I'm aromatic not ace and it doesn't bug me"

"Okay~"

They said "okay" in a weird way and looking back I think they were trying to make me jealous that I can't love and then didn't believe me when I said I didn't care.

This next instance made me never talk about my identity around or with them ever again.

"happy birthday!!!!!"

"I'm finally legal let's GOOOO!"(I just turned AOC)

"don't make jokes about you having sex it make me uncomfortable cuz your ace"

"I'm not ace I'm aro and you know that and you make sex jokes at me all the time and make them with others I can make sex jokes if I want"

"well I don't like it and it's the same thing. you know your just a little baby in my mind which makes it weird hearing you say that and your my best friend so I don't want to think of you with others.

I ghost xem after but reading that almost make me puke. IM, ME AM NOT ALOUD TO MAKE SEX JOKES CUZ U SEE ME AS A BABY CUZ YOU THINK IM ACE AND SEX REPULSED, FUCK YOU.

Another thing is my family, we're a very open family having no problems with pronoun or name changes or being gay the only problem is my aunt married a conservative American

My younger cousin maybe 8 at that point made a gay dating joke after my aunt said something about boys maybe to impress me since I'm 8 years older then him and I told nah that's not me I'm aromatic which means I don't like boys or girls my aunt chimed in saying "we don't need to be talking about this with HIM, he doesn't need to now this "I told her "he is the one that brought it up so he obviously knows and just like how you talk about girls dating boys I could talk about me not dating anyone it makes no difference especially when he is making innuendos. Wait have you even had sex Ed?" "No" he replied, then my oh so fun chimed in saying "he's too young for sex ed it's good he hasn't had in it." "No I'm more surprised he hasn't had sex ed it's important he should have it." "No he's too young" "remember how I was sexually assaulted when I was six and I had no clue what happened to me until I had sex Ed and was told that it was bad and to tell my parent them told my mom and got help do you want him oblivious if it happened to him" "it's different." "How?" He stopped talking and went outside I asked my cousin is he wanted to play Minecraft he said yes so we did that but a few hours later to the bathroom my aunt grabbed me and asked if I was serious about was I said about boys and girls I told her "yes I'm aromatic and don't like boys or girls or anyone like the opposite of being bi." "Are you sure maybe you just haven't met the right person"(I was kinda floored by this she would've said that if I said I like girls) "yes I'm sure I'm seventeen and have never have a crush or ever wanted to be with someone" "but what if one day you fall in love" "and what if one day aliens take over the planet it's possible but I'm not going to bother myself thinking about it." "Well I just don't want you trapping yourself in this label stopping yourself from liking someone." "I never have and probably never will like someone but if magically one day I do I won't stop myself does that sound good to you?" "Yes".

I just love negotiating my identity to keep people happy I've had that exact talk maybe 11 times now and im so done with it, I'm known for my patience explaining sexuality stuff to my older family cause I know their just curious but please stop checking in to see if I've change my sexuality like a clown fish I'm so done.

This was mostly a long rant but I just wanted it out there and to leave it on a good note my mom loves me for who I am and makes fun of my family and people who just can't get it through their head that I'm not going to ever date someone I'm her star child with no drama ✨ which I always find funny.

Love to all that have a hard time with it I love you and your valuable and valid

i’m so sorry to hear about your friends and family, you mum sounds lovely!

[otaku-bell-livemotto]

Steve drove for a while after ditching Tommy and Carol.

He should have realized saying that shit about Nancy and Jonathan wasn't okay. He shouldn't have let his anger get the best of him. He acted like his dad and the more Steve thought about it, the more obvious it was that Tommy and Carol had always encouraged him to behave like that. They constantly were egging him on, making him angrier and angrier until he lashed out.

He didn't want to lash out. He didn't want his so-called friends to encourage that shit. He used to be kinder, gentle. He used to be more like his mom.

It was that thought that made Steve pull over. He couldn't really see the road anymore, his vision completely blurred both by tears and the shiner Jonathan gave him. Steve couldn't remember the last time he cried like this; tears streaming down his cheeks, snot dripping from his nose, his breath growing quicker and more panicked. He felt like he was drowning.

Then someone knocked on his window and scared the shit out of him.

He turned his head to look at the intruder, hastily wiping the tears from his eyes only to wince when he accidentally touched his bruised face. It was some girl he vaguely recognized. They probably went to school together. He thought she might be in band, but he had no way of knowing unless he actually asked her. Then again, that might make the fact that she was an apparent witness to his emotional breakdown even worse. God, he did not need rumors of "Crybaby Steve" circulating the school, especially after his fallout with Tommy and Carol. Desperately trying to calm his breathing, with varying degrees of success, Steve rolled his window down.

"Can I-- Can I help you?"

His voice cracking nearly sent him spiraling again, tears welling up once more.

"Is there a reason you picked my front lawn to shatter to pieces or am I just that lucky?"

He couldn't tell if it was the bluntness of her words, the deadpan delivery, or just the fact that she had the audacity to joke about the whole thing. Whatever it was, Steve burst out laughing. He sounded hysterical to his own ears, but it was a hell of a lot better than crying. He tried to reign himself in when she started looking nervous, but he could only taper his cackling down into breathy giggles.

"S-sorry. I don't know why-y I'm l-laughing."

The girl snorted at him, shaking her head in exasperation that seemed both irritated and fond.

"That's fine. We'll start with something easy. Why are you on my lawn?"

Steve glanced away from her and out the window and, sure enough, his car was halfway on her lawn. He turned back to her, sheepish.

"I, uh, I couldn't see the road. Sorry."

She blinked for a few moments, her expression betraying nothing on how she was feeling. There were a few instances where she looked like she was going to say something and decided against it. To say the least, her silence made Steve increasingly nervous.

"Do you want to sit on the grass for a bit?"

She seemed hesitant to make such an offer, but he could tell it was genuine nonetheless.

"Yeah."

So they sat on her lawn.

They sat on her lawn for hours. Talking, tearing up bits of grass and throwing them at each other, just simply existing in the moment. It was the most calm Steve had felt since he started high school.

"I'm worried that I went too far. That it won't matter if I apologize to them or not."

"It doesn't matter if they forgive you or not. It's important that they know you are aware that you fucked up. Acknowledge that you were in the wrong and don't want to make that same mistake. It sucks, but it's what you have to do if you wanna make it right."

"Yeah. Thanks Robin. You're really cool."

"That's quite the complement coming from The Hair."

Steve groaned, knowing full well what that nickname indicated. He laid back on the grass, gaze fixed on the darkening sky.

"Hey Robin?"

"Yeah Steve?"

"Would you maybe want to be friends? I don't really have any real ones."

And what a depressing thought that was. It was true, though. Tommy and Carol have never been real friends, not in the way he needed them to be. The closest thing he had was Nancy and look at how that turned out so far.

"Are you for real?"

Robin sounded bewildered and it made Steve wonder how isolated he made himself out to be that anyone would question why he might want to befriend them. God, popularity ruined him.

"Yes?"

Now he was anxious that Robin was only humoring him. Of course she wouldn't want to be friends with him. He was a complete loser, just like his dad always said.

"Okay. Yeah. We can be friends, Steve."

The warmth that spread through Steve was lightning fast. It felt almost as good as when Nancy would sneak away with him to make-out at school. Maybe even better.

"Cool. Thanks, uh, for all of this. I didn't mean to just kind of dump my shit on your lap, but I'm glad we met. Yeah. Anyway, I've got apologies to make. I'll see you later?"

He glanced at her from the side, a shy grin taking over his face. She smiled back and gave him a playful shove.

"See you later, Harrington. Tell me how it goes!"

Steve rushed back to his car, determination settling in his gut. He'd apologize to Jonathan first. It was only right.

***

Robin wouldn't go as far as to say that she was worried, but she was definitely curious. A tad concerned maybe. It was just that Steve hadn't been to class for the last three days. Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers hadn't either and perhaps that was why Robin found herself anxious. After all, Barb Holland and Will Byers went missing recently. Who's to say the same thing couldn't have happened to those three?

Robin smacked her cheeks a few times. There was no sense in getting worked up by worst case scenarios. She'd get the facts, one way or another, even if it meant venturing all the way to Loch Nora to find Steve.

That plan turned out to be wholly unnecessary because Steve walked into class right as she had that thought. He looked a little twitchy, his eyes flicking across the classroom like they anticipated danger. It wasn't long before he clocked Robin. She waved and the smile that blossomed on his face was so bright she thought she was going to need sunglasses.

He went straight for his seat right in front of hers and immediately situated himself so that he was facing her.

"Hey Robin!"

"Hey yourself! Did everything go okay? I haven't seen you in class."

He studied his hands for a moment, a distant look passing through his eyes like he was remembering something, before he smiled ruefully at her.

"Yeah. Everything went okay. I would've come in yesterday, but my mom wanted me to rest at home. Wasn't feeling too good. I'm here now though! Ready to actually pay attention for once."

Robin snorted right as their English teacher entered the classroom. Steve spun around quickly to face the front, but every so often he turn his head halfway toward hers and make faces at her. She shoved him every time, a smile playing across her face.

Steve Harrington was a wild card, but Robin had a gut feeling that they'd be good for each other.

***

Happy Platonic Stobin Month! I have no idea how much I'm actually going to participate, but I did write this thing! So I hope y'all enjoy! (Prompts 1 & 20: Alternate Meeting/1983)

[doofnoof]

Okay so I have a theory.

I think Vanessa, Mike, and Garrett are Aftons. Their mom divorced William and took the kids but due to a traumatic event William blackmailed Vanessa into lying and saying she wanted to stay with William instead of her mom. I also think Vanessa may have accidentally killed Garrett, and William covered it up for her and used it to keep her loyal and obedient.

I don't think she knew Mike was her brother until that last scene where she's bandaging him and he asks her to save Abby with him, but she was definitely starting to figure it out by the time she throws his meds away. Her reaction to Abby being in danger is an intense one, because of the trauma she went through as a child for certain, but what if she knows Abby is her little sister? What if she reacted that way because she already lost her little brother, remembers him dying, and now she has the chance to protect her little sister from a similar fate?

I think she knows that William is capable of messing with their memories, and that's why she tells Mike that the dreaming thing doesn't work/isn't helpful, because she's seen first hand how he can change things to be different than what they really were. For instance, there was a yellow frisbee in the park mentioned again and again, as well as a scene where too much ketchup is put on a hamburger. I think Mike actually saw Vanessa killing Garrett and William changed his memories so he only saw Garrett being taken, not the actual incriminating act of William disposing of his body, nor of Vanessa actually accidentally killing Garrett.

I think they were all together having a fun day out as a family, with Mrs. Afton pregnant with Abby, and while playing Vanessa (or maybe even Mike) accidentally killed Garrett, and William came to see what happened when they didn't come eat when they were called. William saw what happened, realized this would look really bad, and possibly threaten his already shakey marriage with his wife, and decided to dispose of the body, maybe even teaching the kids how to do so along the way. Perhaps he even took Vanessa with him and left Michael to watch him drive away. Once he was done, he messed with their memories so that what really happened would be completely buried. Mike only remembers the airplane, Garrett in the car, the blood Ketchup, the yellow rabbit Frisbee, and his family not all of them sitting at the picnic table. This didn't bring the family closer together like William had hoped, his wife didn't lean on him for support while grieving and looking for their lost child, and eventually the Aftons divorced. William took Vanessa, because she asked to stay with him (because he told her to ask to stay with him, unless she wanted her mom to find out about Garrett) while Mike and Abby went with Mrs. Afton, who became Mrs. Schmidt. I wonder if he changed their names around while scrambling their memories one last time after the divorce, maybe Garrett was Evan at one point, and Mike (as he prefers to be called) was Michael, and Abby was going to be named Elizabeth.

Vanessa is given Garrett's plane as a trophy from William, and they continue luring children away from parties in the Pizzeria, while Mike does his best to take care of his mom and Abby. Years pass. The movie takes place.

I also think Garrett is haunting Abby. If she wasn't born yet when the Aftons went on that picnic, it would make sense that Garrett would attach himself to something or someone after a particularly traumatic death, right? Abby is seen talking to ghosts in the movie long before she visits Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria, and one of her "imaginary friends" calls Mike a rude name after he sits on him. (It's gonna be so fun when Mike realized he said "at least I'm real" to his dead baby brother.) Afterwards, when Mike asks about what she remembers of Garrett disappearing, it seems like someone is telling her what to say for a second there. I think Garrett told her not to tell him anything, because he knew Mike would obsess over it and it would ruin their relationship. This was the moment Mike would have to choose Pizza or Spaghetti, because he can't have both, and the Pizza (Garrett) is already gone.

[howlingday]

Weiss: So if I understand what you're saying, Jaune, you created a file on how to defeat every member of both Team RWBY and JNPR? I thought we were all friends!

Jaune: I'm sorry, Weiss, but in a world where a mind control semblance isn't just a pervert's fantasy, it's a necessary evil.

Yang: Well, for the sake of transparency, I think you should tell us what you have planned for us. Otherwise, how can we trust you?

Blake: Nyeah. It's only fair.

Jaune: Fine, but just remember that these were only meant to be used as a last resort. Yang, for you, I have specialized poison designed to amplify your sensitivity to heat, and set of scissors to cut your hair.

Yang: (Cuddles her hair) My god!

Jaune: Pyrrha, I would use a hallucinogenic chemical to have you fight an unstoppable foe, and lead the paparazzi right to your carnage.

Pyrrha: By Zeus!

Jaune: For you, Ruby, I had to dig a little deeper into your past. See, I would jam your scroll and convince you Yang was in trouble with a decoy. When you came to rescue her, you would be too distracted to notice my trap.

Ruby: My god...

Jaune: For you see, I would be hiding behind a boulder, holding a rope, and on the other side of the rope is an anvil.

Ruby: ...What?

Jaune: I would let go of the rope, releasing the anvil, crushing you. As for you, Weiss-

Ruby: Wait, wait, wait! ...That was just a Road Runner sketch!

Weiss: Wait, that totally was!

Jaune: What? No, what? I don't know what you're talking about.

Ruby: The anvil, and the boulder. That was a cartoon trap!

Yang: Yeah, no offense, you were going to mess with my biology and then light me on fire, but for her, you were just going to go all Wile E. Coyote?

Jaune: No, no, I made them completely on my own. I even ran simulations on this.

Ruby: What simulations? Looney Tunes?

Jaune: You know what? Fine! I have more than one plan for each of you! For instance, you may be fast, Ruby, but what if I told you I know how to be just as fast as you are?

Ruby: Is it tying yourself to a rocket?

Jaune: ...It would still work.

Ruby: What are you talking about?!

Pyrrha: Oh my god...

Weiss: These are just Road Runner sketches, Jaune.

Jaune: I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't even know what a roadrunner is.

Ruby: Jaune, you can just admit you ran out of ideas.

Jaune: JAUNE ARC NEVER RUNS OUT OF IDEAS! You have all your semblances and your silver eyes! All I have is my mind! I have to be good at something. I have to be good at this!

Yang: Easy, Vomit Boy. We're sorry. We didn't know you felt so personal about this.

Ruby: Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, too. Look, why don't you try again? I'm sure you can come up with a good one!

Jaune: Alright. Okay! (Ahem!) I know everything about you, Ruby Rose. I know your dreams, your hopes, your passions... and your fears. The fear of not being good enough. The fear of losing your sister the same way you lost your mother. Because you weren't fast enough.

Ruby: Alright! I've got chills!

Jaune: ...I would paint a tunnel on the side of a cliff-

Ruby: God dammit, Jaune...

Jaune: -because you would run at it, and slam into it, knocking you unconscious, because you thought it was a tunnel.

Ren: (Gives his opinion in lack of dialogue)

Weiss: What are you even saying?! You're not making any sense!

Ruby: Okay, well, what if I ran into the tunnel, and it became an actual tunnel, but when you tried to follow me, it turned back into a cliff?

Jaune: ...The simulations did warn me of that.

Yang: THIS IS JUST LOONEY TUNES! THIS IS JUST WILE E. COYOTE!

[duck-in-a-thrift-store]

Alright, ik it's been a little while but now it's time for room/character closeup #3

~Max & El's room~

Right off the bat I think it goes without saying their room is quite a bit more *fun* than some of the others; it was heavily inspired by the early s3 aesthetic (before everything went to shit that is), like when Max was helping El try out a new style, so I hope that shows in the colors and patterns I used for the wallpaper/rug/beds

(Also- this isn't character specific- it just makes me happy how the chair matches the wallpaper and the bedspread matches some of the colors in the posters)

Speaking of the posters

I remembered Max introducing El to comics at their sleepover (also s3) so I wanted to use posters that had that comic book/pop art feel to them, hence the pieces over the beds

Max is on the left. I felt like the sheer *attitude* it conveyed was something she would appreciate, that it suited her

El is on the right, and there's like a whole tangent to that one* but it's also another call-back to that s3 moment of Max showing El her comics and telling her who Wonder Woman is (listen I just really loved their dynamic and interactions in s3 ok)

*You might be wondering "duck why would you put a superheroine poster over El's bed are you really taking such a cliche/obvious approach with the decor here"

Listen babe. It's nuanced, okay?

First of all, yeah basically. I'm fine with being cliche. I do what I want and it fit the general vibe I was going for

But more importantly, remember how I mentioned in... one of the other notes posts for this au I honestly don't remember which one at this point- how a recurring theme here will be characters reclaiming things? At least I think I posted that, I know I wrote it down somewhere-

But anywho, yes, this is one of those instances

So I think, before now, El would have gotten to a point where she really resented "superheroes" -or more accurately, being compared to them

After everything. After being taken from her mother and having her childhood stolen from her in order to train her into a mini super soldier. After always having to be the strong one and fighting every battle. After always having to be the superhero for everyone else and still feeling like she can't ever seem to hit the bad guys hard enough to keep them down for good, to keep her friends safe. After having all those expectations and all that pressure on her for years when really she just wants to move on and be a normal kid and get to live her life

And yeah, maybe also after Mike's weak ass speech at the end of s4. I'd probably feel pretty icky if my boyfriend tried to encourage me by reminding me that my value comes from being a sword and shield rather than a person, if I kept getting put on this suffocating pedestal of always having to push myself to keep everyone else safe, and if I believed that was the very reason I was loved

[Don't take this the wrong way I love Michael Wheeler he's like a son to me but I do think that his and El's relationship was very unhealthy and that he didn't handle things very well]

So uh. Yeah. El hated superheroes for a little bit. I'm not sure when they put that poster up but it wasn't when they first moved in

However

After getting away from the place tied to so much of her trauma, so many of her burdens; after getting out of the situation that kept forcing her into the superhero role, I think her views on superheroes just as an objective, fictional concept would start to soften

And also I think the way Max handles it- treating her like she's awesome and strong and special but not dehumanizing her, trusting her but not pressuring her, encouraging her to be and embrace herself- that has something to do with it as well. It teaches her that she can be a superhero if she wants to be, but she doesn't have to. She does have superhuman abilities, but she herself gets to decide what, if anything, to do with them

When they all ditch Hawkins and move into the new house, El doesn't have to fight anymore. They've left the Upside Down and all its monsters, the empty lab and all its ghosts, behind them. For the first time in... well, pretty much her whole life, she doesn't have to fight, she doesn't have to use her powers, she doesn't have to play the hero. She gets to just... be a kid. A person

And everyone still loves her. Everyone still treats her like a part of the family, like she matters

So maybe she doesn't have to be a superhero. And maybe she doesn't have to hate them, either

But the concept is still something tied to her identity, something floating in the back of her mind; it's an identity in which she found value and strength, at a point in her life when she didn't really know who she was yet

So she still thinks about heroes. And she slowly comes to appreciate them in media, like the comic book heroes Max tells her about. Distinctly separate from herself and from her reality and past. From that safe distance away, they're admirable, captivating, impressive, compelling. And, yeah, maybe a little relatable

And... she finds that she's ok with that

She finds that she likes it, actually

Until eventually El has a strong appreciation for heroes, for their strength and what they stand for, because she understands them- but she doesn't have to be one of them anymore. Removed from the dangers and the expectations, she can see heroes- and herself- simply for what they are, instead of through that lens of pain and resentment and obligation

In the place she has found herself in life, she comes to terms with the fact that she is badass, she is important, she has value, and that those facts remain even when she isn't fighting anything

And in knowing it isn't required, that the people around her see her and love her for who she is rather than just what she can do, passively being likened to a hero doesn't feel so crushing anymore. Maybe she even starts to casually refer to herself as a hero from time to time, maybe jokingly, maybe ironically, maybe sarcastically, but deep down she does still feel that tie, that connection, in some ways- only now it doesn't hurt

And now she loves superheroes, enough to put one on her wall

[Btw, this whole analysis thing was heavily allegorical for my relationship with gender and I hope that shows. Superheroes=womanhood/femininity. If you get it you get it]

That ran away from me a little bit. Um. Moving right along, I guess

The third poster isn't that deep tbh I mostly picked it because it matched the wallpaper colors lol but I do think "good things are coming" would be a nice message to wake up to for two people who have been through so fucking much already at such a young age, remind them that they still have a wonderful life ahead of them despite the horrors in their past, y'know?

And then there's Max's skateboard, at the foot of her bed

It's symbolic it's important it matters that she brought it with her

She got hurt pretty damn badly at the end of s4, and nobody knew for sure if she was even going to survive, let alone whether she'd be able to skateboard again

But she did survive, and her body got pretty fucked up but she was in recovery, and maybe she'd never be quite the same again but she wasn't going to let that stop her, she wasn't going to give up

Her legs aren't as strong and her balance isn't as good as it used to be but she's determined to use that skateboard again no matter how many times she falls over relearning how to do it (and someone is always there to help her get back on her feet, if she wants them to. Yes it's Lucas how did you know)

Anyway I just think Max Mayfield is an incredibly strong brave person and she gets what she wants and what she wants in this case is to be the zoomer of the household

I don't suppose there's really much more to say about the room, so... guess that's a wrap for this one

[thattheater-kid]

I'm not sure if this will be received well but.. a couple years ago, I was talking to a friend after confiding in them that I would have issues with memory, I wouldn't remember doing or not doing something, and I remember this very specific experience where I felt.. (I'm assuming it was me) i felt like I wasn't myself, that I was an alien. In that short period of time, I didn't go by the name I went by then, and I remember feeling so, so scared. So frightened.

And they (someone with DID, diagnosed) told me "hey, this sounds a lot like it could be DID" and I was like "well.. maybe?" I believe I've had multiple alters (keyword: believe), and multiple instances of something similar happening, but now.. I can't hear anything. There's nobody talking besides me, it's radio silent. I fear so much everyday that I have been deluding myself and them and the people that I confided in that I may have the disorder. What if I'm wrong? What if I made it up? What if I subconsciously tricked myself and everyone around me? What if I lied to them? I can't face that. I can't face them knowing that I may have done that. I guess what I'm asking for here is.. advice. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

I'm sorry if this is a lot. I didn't know who else to ask.

I want to preface by saying that I can’t diagnose you or tell you whether you have DID or not. Only a doctor can do that for you. All I can do it give you some advice from my perspective.

A huge part of DID is that it hides itself from you, and if you start to discover it, it makes you think you were wrong. Denial is a big part of DID because it’s typically a covert disorder, which means it’s hidden. It hides itself from outsiders, and even from the host so you can try to live a normal life. It makes you believe you made it all up and you were lying to keep you in the dark. It was very difficult for our old host to discover things about the system because she kept forgetting it existed. It kept making her forget about it until she started writing things down to make sure she remembered. It’s completely possible for you to start finding out about your disorder, start noticing odd things, maybe even noticing other alters, and suddenly everything goes quiet and it’s just you because they’re trying to hide from you.

Also, if it turns out you really don’t have DID, don’t beat yourself up about saying you did. You thought you did. You completely believed you did, which means you weren’t lying or faking. You were trying to figure yourself out. There’s nothing wrong with that. You were just simply wrong about what was going on, and that’s okay. It’s okay to be wrong. Don’t feel bad about telling people you had a disorder you didn’t have if you really thought you had it. If you want to address it with the people you told, you can tell them it turns out you were wrong, or you just aren’t certain right now and are still exploring it.

The only true advice I could give about finding out if you have the disorder is to see a doctor, but I know that’s not possible for everyone, so that may not be possible for you at this time. The only other thing you can do is wait to see what happens and take notes of what you experience. You can try reaching out to alters, but they may not respond still. Especially when you’re just starting to discover your system, alters may disappear and hide to keep you from finding out about the system. If things start happening again that indicate you may have DID, then it’s possible you do have it or another dissociative disorder, like OSDD. If not, then you might have something else. Write down the things you experience. If you believe you interacted with an alter, write down that you did. It’ll help you remember and understand, and it can open the door for communication if you do have DID.

I believe what you experienced was real and valid. I believe you may be experiencing something. I don’t think you’re a liar, and you’re not a bad person for confiding in people about having a disorder and possibly turning out to be wrong. You trusted them, and were likely looking for support, and that’s actually a very good thing. Trust and support are necessary for everyone, but especially for systems and questioning systems. You were trying to understand yourself, and it’s okay to be wrong when you’re trying to understand yourself. I don’t know whether or not they’ll be mad at you (they shouldn’t be), but please remember that it’s not your fault and you didn’t do anything wrong.

Thank you for confiding in me. I wish you the best of luck, and I truly hope you find answers.

[pooklet]

Hey pooklet!!! How did you discover you're non-binary? Did your friends go well with it?

Hey anon!

Short answer: "Girl" never felt right to me, heard about nonbinary as a concept in my 20s on a random livejournal, exactly one of my close friends was cool about it and she's now my wife, lol.

Much, much longer answer under the cut.

I know it's a trope to say "I always felt wrong in my assigned gender" but in my case it's true. For me it was very confusing because I do like a lot of the femme stuff that kind of gets pushed at you when you're AFAB. Pink and dolls and dresses and long hair, stuff like that. But the idea that those things made me a "girl" just never sat right. I remember being like 13 and asking my first boyfriend "would you still like me if I wasn't a girl" and he was like "ew no" and it made me feel so deeply sad for reasons I couldn't quite explain. There were a lot of little instances like that, but that one really sticks out in my mind.

I first ran across the concept of being nonbinary on a livejournal community that I don't think had anything to do with gender? I don't remember where, it was some fandom or hobby thing. Like, I don't think it was this exactly, but it was something as silly as someone posting pictures of their BJD and being like "I decided this doll is nonbinary!" Something like that. And I was like wtf and immediately went down the rabbit hole. Which was much shorter like 12-13 years ago than it is today, but what I found made me go "oh shit, this is the thing, huh?"

Around that time, I was also starting to make more of an effort to get involved with Native American communities and studying the history of my specific nation (Oneida). I was raised by the white half of my family so it wasn't something I really got to experience growing up. And in doing so I learned about being Two-Spirit, and even though that's not how I identify per se (there's a lot of debate around exactly how you define being Two-Spirit and who has access to the label, etc.) it felt sort of like, idk, permission? Like, "this is part of my cultural heritage, it predates the gender binary, I'm allowed to not be a girl."

But it wasn't an all-at-once coming out sort of thing. I kinda floated it at the people closest to me, like "how would you feel if I wasn't a girl lol wouldn't that be crazy lol."

One of my two best friends at the time was very resistant to me not being a girl, us not being best girl friends, who had the sort of romantic-Victorian platonic-but-intense girl friendship. So we ended up having no friendship at all.

The person that I was dating at the time was outright hostile to the idea. Abusively hostile. And the thing about it was he (pronouns at the time, don't know if he's changed them, not going to look him up to find out) had also just come out as trans. He/him agender. And when I repeated that same question that I asked my 13-year-old boyfriend "would you still love me if I wasn't a girl?" His response was something to the tune of "I guess it's fine as long as you still have a girl's body." Which was a wild thing to hear from someone who was also AFAB. Weren't too long after that we broke up.

My other best friend @skulldilocks, maybe you've heard of her, she was my oasis. She never judged, she was curious and interested and so kind about it. The second I told her "I don't think I'm a girl" she was like "yeah, okay, you would know best" and that was it. She was one of maybe three people in my life (the other two being my cousins) that didn't tell me I was wrong or pushed back at all. She called me by my chosen name, used they/them pronouns, corrected herself when she got it wrong, and that was it. It was just, idk, easy. And it made me feel like maybe this wasn't some forbidden, shameful thing that I knew was true about myself, but I still couldn't tell anyone.

So I started to assert my gender and pronouns in online spaces. I was really clumsy about it at first, and my terrible experiences with the people that I had been closest to had me feeling very defensive, expecting a lot of pushback. Aaaand, I got it!

Some of it was definitely my own doing, like, getting upset with people who misgendered me out of confusion rather than active hostility, but there was a big faction that went right to work on the trolling. Most of it was contained on simsecret at first, with lots of secrets as well as huge threads of people saying that I was lying, calling me slurs, discussing my genitals, claiming to know me personally IRL and to have insider knowledge that I really was a girl and I was just doing all of this for attention.

And then it spilled over from simsecret to GoS, to my livejournal, to every part of the community that I engaged with. I went into lockdown mode. Deleted my livejournal, changed my email, turned off commenting or messaging where possible. I left the community completely for about a year and a half. I still played the game, still shared pics with @skulldilocks but I had no intention of returning.

But then stuff just kinda changed. It didn't have anything to do with me, it was just that more people were starting to identify outside the gender binary, so it stopped being so stigmatized in the community. Forums started cracking down on people being shitty about gender. And some very kind people sent messages to me through @skulldilocks saying that they hoped I came back some day. So I did. I still get the occasional hateful anon message but at this point there's literally nothing left that they can say to me that I haven't already heard a decade ago.

And there is definitely more kindness and love, now. Turns out if someone treats you like shit, you can just leave! Tell her to give you back your Sailor Moon manga and to never call you again! Kick him out of your house and take custody of the cats! Excise the assholes, curate your online space, don't get involved in bad faith "discussions" about parts of yourself that you know to be true. Who you are just ain't up for debate.

Also, if you find someone who is your oasis, who never presumes to know you better than you know yourself, who can answer the question “would you still love me if I wasn’t a girl” with an emphatic “fuck yes,” get your shit together, tell her you love her, and marry her. 10/10, highly recommend.

[ask-the-cosmic-duo]

A Visit to the Doctor, Part 3

Stella hadn't noticed before, but she had been enveloped in void energy. For how long, she had no idea.

"Wait… what happened? Why am I darker?"

The pink mare shrugged non-commitally. It seemed she wassn't exactly concerned

Stella looked at Purple, then the Doctor. "Seriously, did something happen to me while I wasn't paying attention?"

"Your unstable form appeared." He sounded almost inquisitive. "Very interesting…"

"This… implies she is usually stable." Stardust said with a sigh, after a moment of thinking to herself.

"Ah, funny joke." The Doctor didn't sound that amused, though. "But I believe she has some stability."

"Yeah, it feels… weird. Like, I can still feel. Mostly anger earlier, and fear right now, but I also felt… relieved when I saw Purple was nearby. In the Abyssal State, I don't think I would've felt that." Stella stopped to think.

After a moment, she shrugged. "Also she's not entirely wrong. I'm not okay, I just don't like telling others about my problems. Not exactly their business. And besides, I don't want to trouble other ponies with all that."

Turner nodded, understanding. "To be fair, I don’t think a lot of ponies can understand…"

"They are creatures of light," The Nobody stated with another non-commital shrug. "Mostly innocent. I don't hold it against them. Ponies in general, I mean."

"That's just how it be, I guess." Stella blepped. "Still, I'm not entirely sure what happened… It reminds me of something that happened a little while back. I don't think I noticed at the time, but… I think I dipped into a similar state when I saw an old friend being corrupted by the void."

She thought about that for a moment. Another Doctor Whooves, if she remembered correctly. She didn't realize before, but it must've been a very long time since they last met prior to that event, as she didn't recognize him at all. And yet, their bond remained, if her dipping into that form was any indication.

"How peculiar…" The Doctor began to do some thinking of his own. Very quickly, Stella's Nobody, Night Star, came to mind. "Has your Nobody been able to do anything remotely spectacular in her feats like you? Or has she been completely free of this void?"

"Honestly… I have no idea." The cosmic unicorn hummed to herself, trying to recall any instances of Nighty's strength. "The only thing I can think of is that she was just as strong as I was during our first encounter in the last timeline, maybe even stronger. Only reason I beat her the second time around was because I switched things up. The new Night, though? I haven't actually seen her fight…"

The Doctor nodded. "Maybe keep an eye on her, both of you. If the Organization is still around, they’ll go after Night next, especially now since your power is on the rise, and there’s a possibility for Night to be a weapon again."

Stardust let out a seemingly excited chuckle. "If you think for a second I'm not going after my former employers' throats, even before you asking, you'd be wrong." She sounded almost too excited.

Stella couldn't help giggling at her excitement, especially since Nobodies aren't supposed to be able to feel. "The way you say that, you make me wonder if you were the Roxas-equivalent before Night was. How many Roxases have they gone through, then…?"

“More interesting conversations for another time," Turner replied simply.

The pink mare gave a small exhale and nodded in affirmation of the Doctor's statement "Likely so. As you said, though, for another time."

"Alright, I guess." Stella shrugged, making a mental note to ask about that later. "Then, uh… where do we start, Purple?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

//fucking christ i'm late. Sorry! There's still one more part, then we move to the next scene!

//Stella's portrait is by @ask-gadzooks.

//The image of the Doctor is cropped. Full picture is by @arcanethunder.

//The image of G1 Twilight, used to represent Stardust, is cropped. Full image is by (at)mulepaws on Twitter.

[voidcataro]

how do i know if im trans?

first of all, if you're currently questioning your gender, or even tentatively considering poking it with a stick, congratulations!! welcome to the world of 5D gender chess, we've got a broad and nuanced range of excellent genders to choose from, or feel free to make your own <3

with that out of the way, here's a secret: the first step to figuring out your gender... is Not Knowing. you may find yourself spending a lot of time on this step.. that's normal. it's frustrating for a lot of us, because we want answers right away, but the truth about gender is there's no right or wrong way to do it, and there's no secret indicator bound to the very essence of your soul with your One True Gender written on it. gender is a made up concept that shapes our lives and its implementation is pretty much entirely subjective. some people have an easier time figuring out what they want out of gender than others, and that's okay.

but how do i know what i want? you might ask. if you ask most cis people how they know what their gender is they'll probably tell you they "just know". that's not really helpful though, especially if you suspect your gender might be a little spicier than your typical 'male' or 'female' options. for me, questioning my gender was a little bit like being introduced to an extensive menu of diverse food choices after eating pretty much the same simple meal every day of my life. as soon as i realized there was something else, i never wanted to go back; but i didn't know what i'd like best, either. the only way for me to get a feel for what i wanted was to try things that looked good. this advice likely won't work for absolutely everyone, but it's a decent starting place for just about anyone. pay attention to gender presentations, labels, pronouns etc. that interest you, and try them out. it's okay to go through and taste a little of everything in a short time before deciding on something to explore more deeply; it's okay to spend a lot of time savoring something only to change your mind and go for something completely different later; follow what feels natural to you, and don't worry about getting it right the first time. you'll always have room to change your mind later and try something different.

to extend the food metaphor a little bit, it's important to remember that there's more than one way to prepare a particular food. some people can only enjoy vegetables prepared a certain way, for instance. there's many ways to view and inhabit a given gender. the first couple times i tried out being male felt.. almost right, but there was something off about the experience that made me shy away from it several times before i found a kind of masculinity i'm comfortable and happy in. if you find yourself coming back to a particular gender more than once but can't seem to make it fit, i recommend exploring queer and nonconforming flavors to see if you like any of those better. i have a trans woman friend who's very tomboyish and will never ever wear a skirt, and another friend who's the strongest butchest bravest person i've ever met and everything about her makes way more sense since she came out to me as a woman. i wasn't happy with my own gender until i realized that i could be soft and gentle and vulnerable and silly and not be any less strong or any less masculine for it.

it's important to note here that you're not obligated to choose only one gender, either. the food metaphor works here too: lots of people prefer to keep their meals simple and consistent, or have a particular staple they always come back to, but it's normal and common to switch things up now and then. sometimes for a special occasion, sometimes Just Because, but most people's genders aren't truly static. there's a lot of nuance and give to every gender. there's infinite ways to make a sandwich, and people can argue in endless circles about the true ontological distinction between a sandwich and a salad, but at the end of the day it's nobody's business but yours what shape your daily nourishment comes in.

a note on safety: while recent legalization of gay marriage in the US and proliferation of queer spaces on the internet has created a lot of opportunity for queer people to find accepting communities, it's still by and large a huge social risk to be out as trans in irl spaces, especially in conservative rural areas and many religious spaces. it is vital to protect your own safety and the safety of your queer friends in spaces that have not demonstrated genuine acceptance of and solidarity to queer identities, so be mindful of what information you share and with whom. on a lighter note, it's difficult to try out varying gender presentations and pronouns etc. without a supportive social circle to reflect your presentation back at you and allow you to experiment with being seen as a different gender. after all, gender is a social construct; it's an important aspect of relating to other people, so it's all but impossible to explore in a vacuum.

last but not least: remember that you do not have to change yourself to fit your preferred gender. anyone with any set of traits can be any gender they like. it's not about what social role fits you best, it's not about your body, it's about how you interpret yourself and what interpretation makes you feel the most like yourself.

gender is your playground now; have fun, try new things, and eventually you will find yourself knowing what you like and what you want. and it's normal and fine if what you want changes from time to time; change is a natural part of life.

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

Stewy and #16 pretty pleasee

Ooo sure :D

Prompt: “You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

Warnings: Intoxication; mentions of drug and alcohol consumption; passing out (per the prompt); cursing

You will blame it on your best friend for as long as you live. Look, you're not a big partier, so you don't exactly know where your hard stops are. You have a drink now and again; you're not a big drug user, but when someone offers you Molly, you figure—fuck it, why not.

But it turns out that fuck it, why not, is the wrong attitude to take in this instance.

You remember dancing; you remember going down the hall to go to the bathroom; you remember turning down a bump of coke that someone offers you at the sink; and you vaguely remember leaving the bathroom, but things after that are a little...Blurry.

"Alright," You hear. You don't know the voice, but it's warm, and soothing. It grows a little louder, and is chased by the sound of people around you, and the thudding of bass a room away. The voice adds,

"I think we've got it—Hey, don't fucking instagram live this, how do you still have your phone? Hey!" The voice snaps and yells for security. The thudding of boots swiftly follow. You groan, turning your head away from the cacophony.

"Take her fucking phone—No," You hear, "You know what, all of you go, you and whoever's in your party, round 'em up, you're barred...I don't give a shit who your dad is, get out."

"Dude, shut up," You mumble, raising your hands to scrub at your eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry, princess. Is someone waking up on the wrong side of the futon?"

"...What?" You manage to pry your eyes open and look around. You're slouched back against someone, your legs splayed out on a purple velvet futon. You tip your head back, and find an attractive man looking down at you...Upside down. Well, technically, he's right side up. You hurry to sit up, and the man warns, "Whoa whoa whoa, slow down there." He rests his hand on your shoulder as you sway a touch.

"What the hell happened?" You ask nervously, glancing around at the few people still watching you.

"You fainted…straight into my arms," The man says. He goes on as you turn to look at him properly: "You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes. I respond pretty well to a 'hi, my name is'. ”

"Oh, my god," You mumble, lowering your head to rest in your hands. "I'm so sorry."

"You feelin' okay?"

"...I've felt worse, but the mortification is fast outpacing the headache."

The man chuckles softly.

"You want some water or something?"

You nod, swallowing against your dry throat before muttering, "Please."

You glance up, watching him go, before looking around. You could try and make a quick escape...But the elevator is so clunky, and frankly, you don't think you could find it just now. Your head is still spinning; your legs feel like jelly.

"Here."

You look up, giving a small smile as you take the proffered bottle of cold water.

"Thanks."

You expect the man to leave it at that, but he sits down beside you.

"How're you feeling?" He asks.

"Still mortified."

"Eh, that'll fade."

"No, no. This is the soul-staining kind."

"First time at Rhomboid?" He chuckles.

"First time at anything like this."

The man hums thoughtfully.

"A lot of first-timers over-do it. Don't let it get to you."

"Do all of them faint?"

"I've seen three people piss themselves on a bad acid trip."

You glance over at the man and find him nodding, brows raised a touch. And then you take a speculative glance down at your legs. The man laughs, and you find yourself smiling just a touch as you open the water, taking a sip.

"I peed right before I passed out," You tell him (though you regret it immediately).

"Perfect timing, then."

"I guess." You hesitate, looking down at the bottle in your hand. The evening's been pretty gnarly, but maybe you can make something good out of it.

"Do I get to know the name of the guy I fainted on?" You hedge. There are a few harrowing moments of quiet before a hand is lifted into your field of vision for a handshake.

"Stewy Hosseini."

You introduce yourself with a little smile, and a gentle handshake.

"You gonna chill out for a bit or get back in there?" He asks, nodding toward the crowd. "Boot and rally?"

"Ah, no. I think I'm just gonna head home."

"What? It's so early."

"Is it?"

"Yeah, it's only, like...three AM."

"...That's early?"

Stewy smiles warmly, and it takes you a moment to decipher whether the fluttering feeling in you chest is his smile, or some kind of palpitation.

"Drink your water," He urges, nodding to it.

"You don't have to sit with me," You mumble.

"Maybe I wanna know more about who fainted on me. Gotta mean something."

"You don't strike me as the type to believe in fate."

"Then let's change that."

[emsylcatac]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you @jattendschaton for the tag!! (see their answers here for links to their nice fics & all 👀) I'm not sure I can be considered a writer still with how little I'm doing nowadays but I appreciate you thinking so 😂

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 25

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

95,070

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Only ML !

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Compatible, We'll be together, always. , A little push, Kiss shy and Of silver and pink

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Usually yes but I haven't been good at it lately 😬 I like letting people know I appreciated them commenting, but I've been pretty lazy these days so I haven't answered much (or sometimes I see a comment and it's been posted weeks ago and I feel awkward answering so late after dfjhjdf). But I do read every comment and I appreciate greatly people taking the time to do so 😭 I've noticed a few times recently same readers commenting a few of my fics at once or in only a few days and big love to you all, thanks so much ♥︎

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oooh most definitely the one I wrote this year which is we'll find your new colour

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have a very happy ending but I guess one of the fluffiest and most heart-warming one I wrote was A game of pretend

Rest is undercut!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I can't remember getting any right now. Maybe most I got was someone correcting my grammar and that was it, or some confusing bookmark comment that I can't remember exactly.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope!

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. An idea stolen yes I believe but that's kind of it

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, I think someone translated 2 of my fics in Russian

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I don't recall so.. I think there were plans with people but it never led to anything.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Lovesquare definitely!!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I have an aged-up Ladrien/Ladynoir one shot wip that I'm afraid will never see the light of day. And I really really want to finish ask her (me) out, also because it's a gift to a fandom friend, but I'm afraid I'll never get to sit down and finish it. We'll see, you never know maybe one day I will 😂

16. What are your writing strengths?

Uuuhh...... I think I've been told I have good dialogues or that I'm good at making the characters seem in-character? But I'm not sure hahaha you'll tell me

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm bad with description among other things

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Okay so I will say: if some characters are switching languages and the reader isn't supposed to understand the language picked and it's short, then yes (or if the reader needs to understand and there's a translation)! Otherwise personally not too into it. For ML, especially random words in French thrown into the dialogue or the text in general with no translations and for no reason (a nickname or something / swearing for instance then sure I'm fine with it and do it sometimes too, but I've seen in some fics at times the most random words/sentences translated to French and it's always thrown me off a little. And sometimes no English translation of these words are offered - at least I'm French and can understand but someone who doesn't speak French might just be confused hahaha). But that's my personal feelings about it, I understand why some writers like to do it and I respect that & it shows how dedicated they are especially when they're not French themselves so don't feel bad if you do it yourself!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

ML again haha

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

That's hard.... I think Compatible is one of the fic I had the most fun writing. Today I'd def write the introduction to the fic very differently because it's a lot of "telling not showing" before getting into the fic, but the dialogue and banter in it was a lot of fun to write

tagging if you feel like it & weren't tagged before : @cakemousse @ladynoirist and @2manyfandoms2count !

[pinkdinkydoon]

🍂🧡 Selfship-Tober- Day 3: Moonlight

October 3, Day 3, Moonlight,

Lici opened the door expecting her takeout, only to see her boyfriend with a tell-tale amused energy to him.

"Hey babyyyy-" he didn't even get to finish before she slammed the door on his face (orb??).

"WH- ELIZABETH!!!" He loudly exclaimed.

She peeked through the door, squinting at him. They made eye contact, and he tilted his cap ever so slightly. "I have the Dennys behind me."

".... it's my day off.... and why are you in public?!" She exclaimed.

"Brain meld babe. Adjusting how people view me. And I know! That's why I came to visit," he told her, like it was the most obvious thing ever. "I also have your food."

"Gimmie," she made grabby hands. He handed it to hee of course, and then promptly walked in with no second thought.

Looking inside her bag and closing her apartment door behind her with her foot she noticed an extra meal.

Suddenly she was up against a wall and a mushroom was leaning over her. "You. Me. Picnic date at the park."

She moved out from under his tentacle and laughed. "Sure. Lemme get in warmer clothes."

She grabbed a scarf, a long coat, and her meal stayed at her house in the microwave. They could eat later.

It felt weird. She normally wouldn't drop everything to hang out, but Myc was different.

He noticed how quickly she got ready, but didn't say anything, and instead the two left promptly. Lici had a small smile while Myc just seemed to enjoy the company.

The walk to the park was nice. And upon arriving, fall was already in progress. The grass was more yellow and tan. The leaves were more orange and red.

It was nice... it was that nice place of in-between beauty.

Finding a far away empty spot, the two took a seat. Mostly.

Myc flopped down and patted the spot beside him.

She laid down... right beside him, per his request.

A set of tentacles came to envlope her into a half cuddle and she sighed, hugging a few.

"How's Andre?"

"Good... Enough. Same with GiGi and Brett and Glenn. How are YOU?"

"Tired. I just got back from a trip from Italy if you remember our texts. And it was exhausting to say the least. Ran into some old friends."

"My girlfriend fought the mafiaaaa," he put a tentacle on her forehead. She swatted it with a laugh.

"Yeah... it feels weird working from home."

"I can imagine. I would imagine if you weren't pure brain fuzz."

She sighed and leaned ever so slightly closer to the fungus.

"When do you come back," he asked, nuzzling the side of her face. The orb radiated, glowing on. She leaned over him ever so slightly.

"When Rand isn't in charge. I'm not working with him. So I'm using all of paid vacation until the days are used up," Lici replied with a sigh.

"Yeesh. Don't you have like over a year's worth saved up??"

"Yuuuup," she smirked.

"But I believe that Reagan's got somethin' BIG planned," Elizabeth claimed with pure confidence.

He broke that confidence in an instance.

"I mean- HAHA! She's actually turned to alcohol and is in a massive depression," He snickered.

Lici blinked. They turned to him. "Wait seriously?"

"Yeah- ha..."

"Good lord-" she put a hand to her head.

As the sun set with the moon slowly coming up, bits and pieces of Moonlight shined on them both.

It was getting late.... That's for sure.

"It'll be fine. Yeah- right, Myc?" They turned to him.

"I don't make promises," he replied, little no no concern in his voice. Which made sense. He didn't care and he didn't make promises.

"Okay Myc."

....

⚰️ ~□ Fin □~ ⚰️

Tags: @sennamybeloved (creator of prompt)