#(and age definitely does NOT determine most responsible)

[gayofthefae]

Like I technically knew but why did I just now realize that there were 0 in-the-know adults in Hawkins in season 4. No wonder things went to shit. Like Jonathan said, love the guy, but Steve was in charge. The energy was weird and I just realized why. The TEENS who very much act like teens were the "adults" in all situations.

[obsessedwithceleste]

Theodore Nott Headcanons

Dedicated to this lil request here 🫶🏽

©️ obsessedwithceleste. all works posted here belong to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.

It’s no secret that Theodore Nott had a rough childhood

Between witnessing his mother’s death at a young age and having a particularly ruthless father, Theo learned to be quietly reserved early on

1000% Theo is an introvert

Despite being seemingly closed off, he’s extremely observant and good at reading others and picking up on things quickly

While he may not be the best at deciphering his own emotions, he’s able to sort through others’ easily

This makes it easy for him to be rather manipulative because he knows what makes other’s tick and how to go straight for the jugular

He may be distant and off putting in the beginning, but once you get close, he’s a clingy bastard because he doesn’t let many people get close, so once you make it there he’ll basically hold you captive forever

He’s also stupid smart

(Canonically he’s able to re-create an illegal time turner after they were all destroyed in the department of mysteries so//)

And this makes him a bit of an arrogant asshole

Looks down on people he thinks aren’t as smart as him

He definitely thinks that he knows best and can have a “my way or the highway” type mindset

Probably has some type of gifted kid™️ trauma and a crippling fear of failure

Anyway, he’s super intelligent and witty and has the potential to do really well in classes

But he has a nasty habit off skiving off with Mattheo Riddle

Who happens to be his best friend along with Lorenzo Berkshire

A lot of people think Theo is the “mother” of the group, or at least the one with the most impulse control

They’re wrong

Theo is the one that Mattheo goes to with his dumbass ideas and Theo’s response is generally something along the lines of-

“Absolutely not you tosser. If we’re going to do it, we’re going to do it right”

Queue Mattheo’s initial plan- only methodically planned out to cause maximal amounts of emotional trauma for the Hogwarts population

Theo and Mattheo are also a chaotic duo on the quidditch pitch

Theo is a chaser

Making the quidditch team in his third year is one of the only times his father showed a hint of satisfaction with the boy

Being on the Slytherin quidditch team, he’s often labeled a preppy jock

And Mattheo does help him break out of his shell more

But he’s a nerdy lil book worm at heart and likes to be holed up in the library most days

Theo also has quite the reputation of being a ladies man with rumors about his escapades swarming the student body

But really they’re just that- rumors

Lorenzo is more of the openly flirtatious pretty boy, and Mattheo certainly knows how to make his way around which is perhaps why people think Theo would be the same way

But he isn’t one to really form physical attachments- emotional or not

He prefers to fly under the radar

He may have had a fling or two, but isn’t one to kiss and tell

He has a hard time entering a real relationship

Mostly because when he first realizes he’s caught feelings, he’s convinced he’s actually just ill and stays in bed pretending to be sick

But once he comes to terms with things, he’s one determined wizard

Makes sure everyone knows that you’re off limits (possibly before you know yourself)

Definitely goes to Enzo for advice on how to woo you

With varying degrees of success

King of subtle PDA (just enough to mark his territory)

Confident and secure in his relationship, but also still jealous as hell

Will hex the living shit out of someone for breathing at you the wrong way

Finds it amusing when you get jealous though

But will shut it the fuck down as soon as he picks up on you being actually upset (probably embarrassing whoever it is in the process)

Not always the best at communicating his feeling cause he’s emotionally constipated af

But tries because he knows he doesn’t want a relationship like his parent’s

Okayyy I think that’s all for now, but I have a feeling these will grow and evolve with time sooo- ongoing (?) idk

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey sex witch, you’ve talked a lot about porn addiction on here but I have some other questions if that’s ok.

I go to Christian highschool and we often have discussions about porn addiction.

my teacher says that most addicted people start consuming porn at around 9. And that even seeing one naked person or one porn or whatever on the internet can put you at higher risk of developing an addiction to porn.

does absolutely any of this have a base in science? Or is this all fear mongering and what not?

hi anon,

first of all, I just want to say that I think it rules that you're seeking information outside of what's being taught at your school. learning how to question what you're told and seek out answers from other sources is a really important skill that can be VERY hard to even begin if you aren't given the resources to easily go looking for information, and I think it's great that you're taking the initiative of seeking out other perspectives :)

now, let's break this down: the concept of "porn addiction" is one largely discredited by psychologists. while people can certainly develop maladaptive coping mechanisms around sexuality, porn, and/or masturbation, this isn't strictly the same as addiction, and several studies have found that the people who are most likely to identify themselves as porn addicts are people who harbor religious or cultural shame about sexuality and porn use, rather than people who use porn more than the average person. it is, largely, a matter of perception.

while access to smartphones means that many people first encounter pornography at a young age - the current average age is somewhere between 9 and 13, depending on the study - and that can be confusing to a child who isn't given the proper framework to understand what they're seeing, it's also not a new phenomenon. in my role as a sex educator I also get to talk with a lot of parents about their early sexual experiences, and many of them recall encountering printed pornography as children when they find it in gutters, the woods, the bedroom of parents or friends' parents, or even stowed in farm equipment. these adults tend to remember being intrigued and excited along with a little confused or alarmed by this first brush with sexuality, but crucially it did not define them as people. as evidence by the fact that they've grown up to send their children to queer-friendly, sex positive, nonjudgmental sex ed classes, early exposure to porn did not stop them from growing into curious, thoughtful, and supportive parents who want to encourage healthy attitudes toward sexuality for their children. porn alone does not have the power to determine the direction of someone's life.

just seeing a naked person or pornography on the internet also cannot immediately make you an "addict." as you've already guessed, this is what we call fear mongering, using information in a way that's exaggerated to make people nervous to even engage with a topic. fear mongering about sex is common among adults and education systems that don't want to young people to be curious about their bodies; another common one is "teaching" young people about sexually transmitted infections by only showing them pictures of untreated cases that have become drastic and painful while insisting that no STI can ever be treated, which is definitely not the case. but the facts don't matter; the priority is trying to make sure teenagers are too scared to have sex until they're adults and the school system is no longer responsible for them.

(and it doesn't even work; states with higher rates of abstinence only education are CONSISTENTLY among those with the highest rates of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.)

when presented with absolutist statements like this, it's worth poking holes in the logic. for instance, if seeing any naked figure is bad, what about classical art? do nude marble statues put you at risk of being a porn addict? what about other artistic depictions of nudity? or anatomical illustrations? what about real people just changing clothes in a locker room, or young siblings bathing together? does it not count for people who are nearly or partially nude, like someone wearing a bathing suit or athletic clothes? people changing in a locker room together? what about young children being bathed together? and what about all of those depictions about Jesus on the cross wearing nothing but a loincloth? what's the line between "good" and "bad" nudity, and who's deciding where that line is? can such a line even really exist at all?

the truth is that people are undressed or partially undressed in all kinds of situations, and none of them are a corrosive influence on your brain. just looking at something is not enough to completely rewire your brain and permanently change your behavior. ultimately, you are responsible for your own actions.

I hope this has been a helpful answer, and that you stay curious about what you're being taught.

[soft-mafia]

Ribbons [LA!Buggy x Reader]

warnings: fem reader, fem y/n, nsfw, grinding, dry humping, sexual tension, fingering, age gap, slight daddy kink, bdsm aspects

a/n: I had this idea of the reader being one of those aerial ribbon contortionists or whatever you call it, and Buggy being so enamored(horny) when he sees her perform that he asks her for a “private show”. Don’t get me wrong manga/anime Buggy is sexy, but LA!Buggy just had SOO much sex appeal he’s so dominant omg. #ovulating

“Does everybody know what they’re doing?!” Buggy shouted, 10 minutes till showtime, he ran by everyone and made sure they knew their shit so they didn’t make a fool out of him. He whipped his head around from left to right, “Where- where’s Y/n?!” He shouted.

Out from behind one of the curtains, Y/n scurried out in her outfit(that Buggy had personally picked out himself) it was a strappy bikini that barely covered anything. The outfit was more for his own entertainment rather than Y/n’s convenience, it wouldn’t affect her act too much anyway though.

“I’m here, Captain!” Y/n said, looking up at Buggy. She hopped out and had her ribbons wrapped all around her body, clearly tangled in her own equipment.

“What the hell happened to you?” Buggy grumbled, holding her by the hip and attempting to unravel her.

Y/n blushed when she watched Buggy’s hands maneuver her body and the ribbons, “I was practicing when you called.” He nodded in response, then spun her around a bit to check her out before patting her on the shoulder and shooing her off to her mark. The rest of the crew knew of Buggy’s infatuation with Y/n, and how he definitely had a soft spot for her(It’s why she’s always caught leaving his room in the dead of night).

It was showtime, Buggy watched anxiously, hoping nobody messed anything up. So far so good, but that’s when he saw Y/n drop from the ceiling hanging by ribbons wrapped around her legs. Buggy swallowed as he watched her intently, his jaw clenched as she spun around those ribbons, the way they hugged her waist as she effortlessly spun around them like a snake. Y/n moved her body in ways that looked like it was meant for Buggy’s eyes only. He couldn’t deny that he sometimes felt jealousy when he saw any of the men on his crew talk to her, Buggy had already determined in his own mind that she was his, a treasure of his that nobody should be touching or even being around.

In his most jealous self loathing fits he wishes he could just lock Y/n in a birdcage and keep her for himself. He would pour and hold his face in his hands whenever she would go back to her room after a night.

He didn’t feel confident enough to ask her to stay with him, just for one night. He would only nod when she would give him a kiss on the cheek before putting her clothes back on. The rest of the night he would spend sulking, and the next day he would immediately fish her out of the crowd of his crew and wrap his arms around her, holding her tightly since he didn’t get to during the night.

After Buggy wrapped up the show, he gave them praise and thanked them for not screwing up. It was on rare occasions that everybody got their queues right and didn’t make mistakes. After that, he ran for Y/n, eagerly bounding towards her and once he did he scooped her up in his arms.

He lifted her up by the waist and kissed her on the lips, “You were amazing!” He purred, kissing all over her face, leaving red sloppy prints all over her. She didn’t care though, she laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck, “Was I pretty?” She asked jokingly.

Buggy grinned and set her back down, leaning down slightly and lifting her chin up, “Gorgeous.” He answered, he then looked around for a moment, watching as his crew of freaks walked out of the tent to have dinner at their camp out. Looking back down at Y/n, he put his jacket over her.

“Help me get the audience out of here, I want a private show.”

Y/n helped Buggy cram all of the poor civilians in one of their empty trailers they would use for storage. “I feel bad.” Y/n said as they walked back to the tent, he had his arm around her waist.

“Don’t start nagging me about them again.” Buggy rolled his eyes, “How else am I supposed to get people to come and watch?”

“Anybody will come to a circus on their own free will, Buggy. You don’t have to force anybody.” Y/n looked up at him, with that little pout that would always bring him to his knees. He looked away and shook his head, “They won’t. Not for me.” They didn't say anything more about that, Y/n looked down at the ground as the slightly damp grass stained her ballerina slippers.

Once making it back to the tent, Buggy pulled his throne out and had it sit in front of one of the stands, he leaned back and watched Y/n get into place. Even the way she climbed up was sexy, and when she would tie the ribbons around her ankles— it's not like Buggy had a foot fetish or anything, but her body was perfect and every movement seemed so enchanting. Y/n was so beautiful, Buggy almost felt bad for her. Sometimes it felt like he was taking advantage of her even though she would swear up and down she was madly in love with him and wanted him more than anything. What if she was lying just to spare his feelings? Or lying because she was afraid that he would threaten her if she didn’t comply??

Those thoughts often made Buggy sick and he would push them to the very back of his mind so it wouldn’t bother him. But after every jerk session he would have to the thought of Y/n, they always found their way to resurface as he sat there alone in his bed or at his desk with a wet rag in his hand.

“Doin’ great baby.” Buggy called out with a soft chuckle as Y/n finally made her way back up to the top. She giggled in response, glancing at him for a moment before looking away. At this point she could move freely with those ribbons around her legs, she reached her hands back and began to untie her bikini top.

Buggy’s eyes widened, anticipation ate at him and he felt a fire shoot down to his crotch. Then her top dropped to the ground. It wasn’t something he hadn’t seen before by all means— but she was naked out in the open, tied up in ribbons. It was only then that he noticed that she had taken her bottoms off as well, how had he not noticed that?!

That added more fuel to the fire as he had a visible cock outline in his trousers now. He palmed at it subtly as he watched Y/n spin herself around and do other sensual movements, more seductive than what she had done in her act. She looked gorgeous, especially in the circus lighting, it casted shadows upon her that accentuated her silhouette. Y/n dropped upside down, hanging by one foot from the ribbons, Buggy bit his lip when he watched her breasts bounce from the sudden drop.

She was wrapped up in those ribbons completely, there was something so erotic about the red fabric twisting and gripping around her naked body. Buggy wondered what it would be like to have her tied up and at his mercy, her arms and legs restrained, one wrapped around her neck and him pulling at the ribbon like a leash as he fucked her hard. Buggy grit his teeth and tilted his head back, letting out a quiet grunt at the thought.

Buggy was so close, rubbing himself more intently— then the lights suddenly shut off. He immediately stood up and shouted in anger, “WHO THE FUCK TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS?!” He screeched. Y/n was taken aback, nearly falling before catching herself on the ribbons, looking around as her eyes adjusted to the dark.

“We’re just closing up for the night, Captain…” One of the backstage managers said nervously, standing in the opening of the tent. Y/n immediately covered herself up, Buggy’s cheeks were flushed a bright red, both from anger and embarrassment. “I’M IN HERE WITH Y/N!!!” He shouted, “YOU COULD CLEARLY SEE ME!!!”

“S-Sorry Captain!! We can turn the lights back on?”

“No!! No!! Forget it!!” Buggy huffed and detached his hand so he could float his coat up to Y/n so she could cover herself, “Come on, Y/n.”

Y/n slowly lowered herself, and once she was on the ground she picked up her discarded bikini and scurried towards Buggy. He put an arm around her and rushed out of the tent, grumbling and scowling under his breath as they rushed back to the ship. “Do you think they saw anything?” Y/n looked up at Buggy and laid his coat on a nearby chair once they got back to his cabin on the ship. “Probably not, you were really high up.” Buggy shrugged, pushing the coat on the floor so he could sit on the chair, his legs spread out.

He had taken his shirt off, once they got settled in, chest covered in thick hair with a happy trail that let up to his belly button. Buggy patted his lap, “C’mon, daddy’s still sexed up.” He said lowly, leaning back in his seat as he watched Y/n make her way over to him. She was still naked. Buggy began to hope that those crew members did see her like that, so they could know that she’s completely off limits and belongs to him and him only.

Slowly, she crawled on his lap, each thigh slowly making their way to straddle his lap. He immediately began rubbing up and down one of her thighs, groaning at the feeling of her skin beneath his fingertips, “Good girl.” He said in a gravelly tone. Y/n smiled softly as she rested her hands on his chest, slowly making their way up to rest on his shoulders, subtly ruffling up his chest hair in the process. Buggy leaned up to press a kiss onto her lips, his stubble always scraped her but she never complained.

The taste of booze was thick on his tongue, making Y/n whimper and make a face but it quickly passed as the kiss lengthened. Buggy leaned back and let out a nervous chuckle, “Sorry, I probably taste like shit.”

Y/n laughed and held his face, giving his lips another kiss, “It’s ok. Explains why you’re so horny.”

Buggy laughed too, his hands resting on Y/n’s hips, he gave them a firm squeeze, “Hey, even without the alcohol, you’re like a walking viagra for me.” He joked. As he gripped her hips, he slowly brought her down lower on his lap, letting her bare pussy rub against his bulge, his cock pulsed in his boxers and he let out a low groan. Y/n whimpered at the feeling of fabric rubbing against her wet clit, she leaned her head into the crook of his neck. Buggy placed one hand on the back of her head while guiding her hips with the other, he gently caressed her while humping himself into her.

He rolled his head back, letting out deep pleasured grunts, he then kissed the side of Y/n’s head. Even after he’s fucked her so many times, he still has a lingering anxiety; he didn’t want to be too rough and scare her off. She was quite young and that itself made Buggy feel a butt ton of guilt, so he peppers her with kisses and gives her gentle caresses and whispers praise into her ear while getting his rocks off with her. Buggy really cared for her even if he was shit at showing it, the last thing he would want to do was make Y/n scared.

He stroked the back of her head as he humped faster, his hand rubbing up and down her waist, softly squeezing her skin as they both let out soft breaths and moans. “You’re doing so good for me… just let me do all the work, baby.” He whispered in her ear, “Doing so good, your little cunt getting wet, all for me.” Buggy was getting so close, his pants and groans becoming more rough as his pelvis trembled.

It wouldn’t be the first time he’s came in his boxers, this time he’s made more of a mess than usual, but he really couldn’t help himself. He let out a groan as he relaxed into his seat, holding the back of Y/n’s neck as he breathed heavily. Y/n pulled away, it caught Buggy off guard for a moment but he let out a soft grunt when she adjusted herself on his lap. He held her shoulders as her back pressed against his chest, she spread her legs and let her thighs sit on each of the arm rests and yanked Buggy’s hand down between her legs.

“Needy are we?” Buggy chuckled, but he gave her what she wanted and dove his fingers into her pussy, amazed by how wet she was. He dragged his fingers up and down her slit, then circled them around her clit, he wrapped an arm around her torso to keep her in place as she trembled. Y/n held onto Buggy’s forearm, moaning and whimpering his name as he continued to play with her pussy. He continued to kiss her temple and the top of her head, praising her while giving her what she needed.

It wasn’t long before she had her own release, and they both sat there in each other’s arms, Y/n’s face nuzzled back into his neck as she laid sideways on his lap. Buggy held her close, lightly bouncing her in his lap.

“Are you ok?” He whispered to her after they finally caught their breath and came down from their high. Y/n laughed and looked up at him, tracing his jawline with her finger as she looked into his striking blue eyes, “You always ask me that.”

Buggy scoffed and looked away, “I have to.” He chuckled, “I still can’t help but think I’m forcing you to do this.”

Y/n sat up and softly smacked Buggy in his chest, “Buggy! I told you that you’re not!” She frowned, “I’m the one who came onto you first.”

“I know! I know… but,” Buggy sighed, “You never stay.” He whispered, he sounded so desperate and he honestly regretted opening his big mouth once the words left it. But Y/n gently turned his head back to face her, “I… I didn’t think you’d want me to stay.”

Buggy looked at her, “What? Why wouldn’t I?” He furrowed his brows. Y/n shrugged, “I dunno… I’m always sticky afterwards, I didn’t think you’d wanna sleep next to that.” Buggy couldn’t help but laugh at that, then kiss her on the lips.

“Hey, you’re always complaining about me being sweaty but you’re still all over me.” He grinned, holding her face and gently pressing his thumbs into her cheeks. His expression then slowly dropped as he glanced away again, “And um… Why do you always hide your face?” He asked, “In my neck, my chest, in the pillows, the blankets…” he swallowed, looking away. She never looked at him during sex, she was always hiding her face in something and Buggy couldn’t help but feel like it was because of him-

“I have an ugly o-face.” She answered quietly, looking down as she dragged her finger through his chest hair. Buggy furrowed his brows in confusion, then looked at her, “What the fuck does that mean?”

Y/n looked back up at him, “O-face… like, orgasm face.”

Buggy felt heat rise to his cheeks from embarrassment, “Oh… that makes sense— WAIT! NO, your face isn’t ugly!” He gently grabbed her by the chin, squeezing her cheeks between his fingers, “Now that you told me that, I’m not gonna let you hide anymore.” He chuckled.

Y/n groaned and wiggled her face out of his grip, “Don’t make me embarrass myself in front of you!” She pushed him in his chest once again. “You’re not gonna embarrass yourself, babe. You’re gonna make yourself look more hot and irresistible.” Buggy grinned.

“Screw you. I’m gonna take a bath.” Y/n stuck her tongue out at him before standing up, “You need one too, you stink.”

“I’ll take one tomorrow.” Buggy rolled his eyes as he detached his hand and reached for a stray bottle. Y/n quickly snatched his hand, then ripped the bottle out of it, “No. You’re gonna take one now.”

“HEY!!” Buggy growled and stood up, reaching out to grab his hand, but Y/n yanked it away and was already trotting off to the bathroom with it.

[emmavoid]

Platonic Ideal of TTRPGs, or; I Swear This Isn't Just About Yeld (But Also Yes, It Is About Yeld)

To me, the platonic ideal of a tabletop role playing game is this- a kit that is perfectly suited to building stories with a particular mood and theme.

Ideally, this hypothetical perfect ttrpg won't even require you to know what the theme is! Instead, it will provide you tools (mechanics) and materials (setting) that, in whatever way you put them together, will lead you to creating stories with the system's intended themes!

Of course, platonic ideals are, by their very definition, perfect, and thus impossible. So it makes sense that most games that aim for this ideal will need to signpost what sort of mood they want you to create, or even outright state it directly; an instruction booklet of sorts, to go with the kit metaphor.

But, it's definitely possible to attempt the impossible!

---

In The Magical Land of Yeld, you play as a group of children who find themselves trapped in a world of magic, surrounded by strangers- including monsters who are people and people who are monsters!

In Yeld, separated from their families and caretakers, your characters must take on Heroic Jobs, which give them access to new powers, and grow in agency and ability on their quest to return home.

To return home, your characters must defeat the Hunters of Yeld- powerful agents of the establishment who have pledged themselves to the ruler of this place, the Evil Vampire Prince Dragul- in order to collect the magic keys that will allow them to open the door back to their world.

There is a time limit, however- any player character who turns thirteen while in Yeld will transform into a monster, taking on a Monster Job which will empower them, but also change them for the rest of their lives and prevent them from returning home unless they take control of Yeld from Prince Dragul.

---

Did you catch it?

Nowhere in the game book is the theme directly stated, but as with all good stories, it's there, waiting to be found by those who look closely.

The theme of The Magical Land of Yeld is Growing Up.

You begin play as children thrust into a world full of problems, and given the opportunity to improve themselves and grow as people. You're introduced to many new people, and learn that while some of them are dangerous, many others are helpful, and what they are- monstrous or not- does not determine who they are.

Your characters grow and learn, gaining agency and responsibility as they do.

In order to return home, to "normality," you must fulfill that responsibility by working to make the world a better place, and thereby leave your mark upon it.

And becoming a monster, well… puberty can be a terrifying change that leaves you feeling monstrous, a stranger in your own body! As I mentioned above, being physically monstrous does not determine who you are! And with age comes even more responsibility- in this case, the responsibility to deal with the biggest problem plaguing Yeld, Dragul himself!

Even the basic mechanics of the system reflect the theme. The system encourages a round-robin GM style, which allows every participant to play both roles of player and GM, giving them the opportunity to grow themselves. The initiative system, with players declaring they will take the first move, then each making the choice of who will go after them. The action chain mechanics, wherein that choice of who goes when made collectively by the players can allow the characters to work together to achieve effects beyond what they would typically be able to do.

Of course, this platonic ideal of mine is not the only consideration that must be taken into account when creating a TTRPG. As games, it's usually assumed that a TTRPG will be "fun" and "enjoyable" to play. As art in a capitalist system, it's usually assumed that a TTRPG should be "marketable," "efficient," and "worth dropping money on." As creations often made by artists struggling under that capitalist system, it's usually assumed a TTRPG should be "something that will help its creator stave off starvation and homelessness under said capitalist system." These and other considerations are often why aiming for such a platonic ideal can be, at times, counterproductive.

(And of course, my definition of the platonic ideal of TTRPGs is not necessarily one that everyone, or even anyone, else would agree with :p)

But ultimately, I really appreciate seeing stuff that works towards this <333

[tumblezwei]

I saw an interesting post on Twitter about how Yang and Ruby's perspectives on Summer have diverged over the years, and I kinda wanted to put my own soon on it.

Because like, Summer was this huge mythic hero for Ruby, and Yang was partially responsible for telling Ruby the stories about Summer's heroic feats, which were definitely exaggerated coming from the imagination of a child trying to cheer up and entertain her younger sister. But even though Yang was the one to tell these stories, she herself never held that same idolization of Summer that Ruby did.

And I think a big reason for that is that Yang was forced to take on a role that was incredibly similar to Summer's. She wasn't a huntress out to fight monsters and protect the weak, but she was someone who had to take on a great responsibility and act as an example for others to follow, that being Ruby. She likely did idolize Summer much like Ruby did, but I think having to take on that responsibility at such a young age allowed her to understand easier than Ruby that the idea of a "Super Mom" capable of doing anything and never failing was an illusion created to comfort those who needed her protection.

Even though she still held Summer in her mind as a great mom whom she knew would do anything for her and Ruby, I think she learned fairly quickly over the years that the role of provider and protector just wasn't that simple. But she loved her sister, and she greatly admired Ruby's determination and confidence in who she wanted to be, so of course she'd still encourage her to be like Summer. For as much as Ruby looked up to Yang, I think Yang also looked up to Ruby.

Ruby, on the other hand, didn't have this same experience growing up. Instead her coping mechanisms led her far into her fantasies, sectioning off her own grief and building up this figure of Summer as a way to memorialize a mother she never truly got to know and reassure herself that she could fix what was broken so that no other kids like her and Yang would have to go through that loss.

A common point in Ruby analysis that gets brought up is that she was never naive enough to believe that the world was perfect. She always knew it was broken, and what made her special was her determination to help the world in spite of it. And with the context of the most recent episode, we can see that that mindset was tainted very heavily by her perception of how fixable the world was and how much she could truly handle. Because Ruby Rose is exhausted I'm episode 4. Her past self mocks her ruthlessly with her own prior beliefs, torturing her with the knowledge that she is destined to struggle like this forever and ever until she dies like her mother.

And that's where the schism is. Yang knows her mother was human, can relate to her struggles in a way that Ruby could never understand. And that's why in volume 8 we have her trying to reassure Ruby by saying "mom took a risk the day she left, and I don't think it went the way she wanted it to, but she was still my hero." Yang loves her mother, and Yang idolizes her mother. But she's able to frame that in a context that understands that Summer Rose was human and that whatever she did she did for them. That she tried as much as she was able.

Ruby Rose loves her mother, and she idolizes her mother, but she only knows her in the context that she's created for herself. Summer Rose tried to fix the world and failed. She went up against this unkillable monster and failed. Super Mom Summer Rose always knew what to do, how to save the day, and she failed. So what hope did Ruby Rose have to try the same?

Ruby Rose will never be able to grow until she is able to acknowledge her mother as a person and not a hero. Because until she does that she'll continue to hold herself to the same impossible standard.

[insomniacsystem]

Because I'm in a Shadow Company brainrot mood here's all our OC's/alters bios at least with what were so far willing to share cause anxiety.

Name: Rhys 'Azrael' Grey

Callsign: Shadow 6-1 (based on his SAS callsign Bravo 6-1)

Rank: Captain (promoted)

Race: Native American(Navajo)/Irish

Height: 5'6

Age: 34

Gender: transgender male

Pronouns: He/They

Desc: Azrael is an ex SAS soldier at one point ending up a POW on a classified mission losing multiple members of the squad he was leading along with his fiance that had joined him on the team. After almost a decade of service multiple of his medical issues from childhood were finally diagnosed leaving him with a medical discharge and Azrael being the person he is definitely doesn't accept that as the end of his military career applying to Shadow Company intent on proving his abilities and keeping up his work.

Azrael is almost always found wearing as much covering clothing as possible almost never found without his neck gaiter on to cover the scars that mar the skin on his face and neck a painful reminder of captivity he's determined to keep hidden.(Though Graves and the other Shadows eventually coax him into opening up and wearing it less often)

Personality: Azrael is known for being extremely closed off keeping strong walls around himself to keep others out and away from his emotions and vulnerabilities. it's a major surprise to most to find that his old friends describe younger Azrael from before he was captured as cheery, sweet, and, extremely empathetic many don't exactly believe it considering most see him as cold and unfeeling, even if he does truly care for those around him just from behind his walls where he believes himself to be safer.

Name: Ashton 'Phoenix' Adair

Callsign: Shadow 7-5

Rank: Sergeant

Race: Scottish

Height: 6'5

Age: 33

Gender: Cis Male

Pronouns: He/They

Desc: Ashton is another ex-SAS soldier, having ended up a POW on the same mission as his ex-fiance Azrael, ending in them breaking up shortly after their release as guilt tears away at him, feeling he should have been able to protect his fiance and squad. It's not long before Ashton gets himself into trouble as he goes after the men responsible for him and Azrael's suffering leaving him on the run hiding from certain Russian extremists.

Ashton, with the help of a friend in high places, fakes his death, disappearing to work with Shadow Company on American soil where he's less likely to be discovered, and he still has opportunities to take out the men he's been searching for.

Personality: Ashton is known for being fiery, confident, and extroverted, often found chatting with the other shadows, happily helping out with what he can where he can without complaint.

Name: Vance 'V' Serra

Callsign: Shadow 0-2

Rank: Captain

Race: Mexican/Hispanic

Height: 6'7

Age: 33

Gender: Cis Male

Pronouns: He/They

Desc: Vance is and ex-Marine and has been close friends with Graves since they met encouraging the older man the entire way through starting Shadow Company despite his own contract with the Marines not exactly being up yet he waits out the time separated cheering his friend in from afar until finally he's able to resign immediately transferring himself to work with Graves once again become his right hand man.

All goes well for Vance for the most part the shadows do their jobs damn well and he's endlessly proud of his and Graves' men he's expecting things to go as usual as he's sent out in the convoy with the missiles only to find himself very wrong watching as his men are slaughtered he plays dead knowing damn well they have him outnumbered he's determined to make it back to Graves he waits out the soldiers as they collect the missiles keeping still even as the fire in the car licks at his skin immediately putting himself out and scrambling for a radio as the sounds of cars fade out he finds himself lucky as he's able to contact Graves ULF being able to send a small rescue team despite Shepards refusal to attempt proper rescue saving Vance's life leaving him in the hospital to recover during Las Almas returning to work as soon as he's cleared

Personality: Vance is known for being fiercely loyal to Shadow Company it's commander especially taking care of Graves and the shadows diligently making sure everyone is taken care of and not neglecting themselves his usual calm but happy demeanor soothing to those around him though that's definitely not saying he's not short tempered especially when it comes to defending Graves though the shadows often tease him for it prodding the man about having a crush despite Vance vehemently denying it.

Name: Emris 'Firefly' Hendricks

Callsign: Shadow 7-7

Rank: Sergeant

Race: Native American

Height: 5'7

Age: 32

Gender: Trans male

Pronouns: He/They

Desc: Emris is Shadow Company's most well-known demolitionist, always managing to find himself in trouble for some kind of energetic hijinks, often getting other shadows involved and getting slightly carried away. Emris is usually one of the many shadows messing with Graves in the most wholesome way possible, planting joke motivational posters of Graves and things, much to Graves' embarrassment, though he secretly finds it hilarious the shadows seem to love the posters and things so much.

Name: Arlo 'Icarus' Lyons

Callsign: Shadow 1-3

Rank: lieutenant

Race: American/Irish

Height: 6'5

Age: 28

Gender: Nonbinary (AFAB I swear that's important)

Pronouns: He/They/She

Desc: Arlo joined up with Shadow Company through interesting circumstances one of the few recruits trained by Shadow Company itself rather than coming from another military. Arlo is extremely dedicated to his work and loyal to Graves. the two had gotten along well since he joined Shadow company, though only a few years into his time with them through what he'd thought were harmless hookups to blow off steam, they had managed to get pregnant despite their infertility, despite the bad timing and circumstances, Arlo is understandably ecstatic having wanted kids of his own. though, due to the high-risk nature of her pregnancy, Arlo finds themselves on bed rest though Graves refuses to let him be alone considering, Arlo is single with no family, leaving him and Vance insistant on helping out and make sure he's cared for. he ends up having his daughter, Evie, with only mino8 complications, being age 8 as of the events of MW2 and 11 as of MW3.

Arlo does eventually defect from Shadow Company, joining up for 141 after the events of Las Almas. Despite the guilt he feels abandoning Graves, the young man couldn't cope with continuing to work with them, afraid of events like Las Almas repeating.

Personality: Arlo is known for being extremely sweet and charismatic keeping things running smoothly and arguments to a minimum at least to the best of his ability.

(wip)

Name: Callum Lucian

K9:Umbra (a black Belgian Malinois) (pup pic wip)

Callsign: Ace (0-13)

Rank: Sergeant

Race: American

Height: 5'8

Age:25

Gender: Trans Male

Pronouns: He\They

Desc: Callum is one of Shadow Company's resident K9 handlers. While Callum occasionally uses crutches, his cane, and braces between missions during flare-ups, and to allow his old injuries and chronic pain to settle, he is still incredibly capable in the field. having refused to let his back and knee injury stop him from serving, he joined SC once he'd healed shortly after his original discharge from the military, bringing his K9 along with him as they'd been retired together due to Umbra's strong attachment to Callum.

Personality:

Name: Warren 'Rune' Rivera

Callsign: Shadow 8-8

Rank: Lieutenant

Specialization: K9's

K9's: Nixie (Shepherd) and Nico (black Shepherd)

Race:White

Birthplace: USA/Tennessee

Height: 6'3

Age:35

Birthday: March 5th 1989

Gender:Male

Pronouns:He/they

Medical conditions: left leg amputated just below the knee hearing loss in left ear.

Desc:

Personality:

Name: Maeve 'Artemis' Grey

Callsign: Shadow 0-7

Rank: Lieutenant

Gender: Female

Pronouns:She/They

Age:29

Height: 6'1

Birthplace: Ireland

Race: Irish & (unknown)

Sexuality: Panromantic Greyromantic Asexual

Specialty:

Medical conditions: POTS ADHD Autism

Desc: backstory is still in the works but for now she's a new transfer from the SAS and Azrael's adoptive sister.

Mae is the result of a still secret affair her mother had, which has led to much resentment on her father's part. She, by now, is very aware she's not his biological daughter, but her mother still refuses to give her any information on her real dad, insisting on keeping their family's reputation spotless as usual.

Maeve, the youngest of all her siblings, grew up being taught to resent Azrael, being taught various horrible mindsets by her extremely religious family. For most of that time, she believed them, though as time went on, watching her older adoptive brother be abused so horribly chipped away at her. Her guilt only grew when Azrael ran away at 17 after being outed as trans, leaving her to reevaluate her parent's teachings. One could imagine the feeling of fear she felt when she found she'd started to crush on another girl at 16.

Maeve quickly realized she didn't want to live at home anymore and managed to forge he parents' signature, signing up for the British armed forces at 16, unknowingly following in Azrael's footsteps.

Personality:

Name: Adian 'Apollo' Grey

Callsign: 7-0

Rank: Lieutenant

Gender: Transmale

Pronouns:He/They

Age:29

Birthday: April 8th

Height: 5'10

Blood type: O+

Birthplace: Ireland

Race: Irish & (unknown)

Sexuality: Pansexual Aromatic

Religion: Pagan

Specialty: espionage

Medical conditions: POTS ADHD PTSD(childhood trauma) Autism Asthma Chronic pain from repeated injuries to his spine and ribs in his childhood.

Desc: backstory is still in the works

Aidan and Maeve are the result of a still "secret" affair their mother had, which has led to much resentment on their father's part. They, by now, are very aware they're not his biological children, but their mother still refuses to give them any information on their real dad, insisting on keeping their family's reputation spotless as she usually always has.

Aidan, the youngest of all their siblings aside from his twin sister. Maeve, grew up being taught to resent Azrael, being taught various horrible mindsets by his extremely religious family. For most of that time, he believed them, though as time went on, watching his older adoptive brother be abused so horribly chipped away at him. His guilt only grew when Azrael ran away at 17 after being outed as trans, leaving the twins to reevaluate their parent's teachings. One could imagine the feeling of fear Aidan must have felt already knowing he was trans like his older brother since he was young ~~hence Azrael's nickname for him Apollo~~.

The twins quickly realized they didn't want to live at home anymore and managed to forge their parents' signature, signing up for the British armed forces at 16, both unknowingly following in Azrael's footsteps.

Personality:

~~ok last one fr this time I swear dbdb~~

[riley-coyotl]

Hello! I saw a post about your dog recovering from ovary-sparing spay and as someone else interested in this route, I am curious what made you choose it.

Sure, I'm happy to explain! :)

So, especially if it is done earlier in life, there are a lot of health concerns associated with traditional spaying (orthopedic issues, urinary incontinence, even certain cancers,) as well as behavioral ones. Of particular concern to me, more and more data is showing an association between spaying and increased anxiety-related behaviors... Which, for Juniper in particular as an already anxious dog, I really did not want to risk making that worse for her.

The timing of spaying is however a balancing act with the increased risk of mammary tumors (early spay reduces the risk for this.) So it's kind of a tough balancing act and a really personal decision, but for me, I feel it's better to wait to spay until maturity, for both physical health and mental maturity/behavioral issues. For most breeds of dog this would be around at least 1.5 to 2 years of age.

That said, the increased risk of mammary tumors seems to rise quickly with the first and second heat cycles, but then pretty much plateaus around that point. In other words, doing a traditional spay on a dog 2+ years old is unlikely to reduce their risk of mammary tumors. (During my research I also found a bit of conflicting data about the conventionally accepted information on mammary tumor risk, which gave me even further pause in accepting that keeping a dog intact increases risk as much as we've assumed it does.)

So, since my only real remaining health concern with a completely intact female dog is first and foremost pyometra (infection of the uterus, which is not an uncommon condition and scares the crap out of me,) and of course, risk of pregnancy (I feel confident in my own management and don't even have any male dogs living here anymore, much less intact ones, but crazy accidents can always happen, male dogs can be VERY determined...) Ovary sparing spay takes care of both these concerns (a proper OSS that removes all uterine tissue + cervix should carry no risk of "stump pyometra") while avoiding any of my concerns with traditional spay.

Also, some dogs do seem to struggle/not feel well during heat cycles (which, since Juni still has her ovaries, her body will still go through heat cycles, she just can't get pregnant and will probably not have any bloody discharge, but if she does it will be reduced,) or have distressing false pregnancies etc. But Juni has none of these issues and her heat cycles are easy on her and not stressful. So I wasn't concerned about that either.

So that was our logic for the decision! Personally, unless and until there is further research definitively conflicting with the conclusions I've drawn about this, I intend for all of my future dogs to have an ovary sparing spay vs. traditional spay (full ovariohysterectomy) done.

(In addition, ethically I just don't jive well with the idea of surgically altering an animal if it's not necessary/not to their benefit (e.g. things done purely for aesthetic, or done largely for human convenience, etc.) In many countries, routine spay/neuter is practically unheard of--it's really only here in the United States that the general consensus is that spay/neuter is the objectively correct and responsible choice... And, while this is a bit more personal and emotionally driven, I have had an ovary sparing spay done on myself and have had a really great experience with it and the outcome for my own body, and I feel like it is intuitively correct that keeping our bodies working hormonally as naturally as possible is just...typically healthier and better for us. I wasn't going to remove my own ovaries for the health risks and other effects that would have on me, so I didn't want to do that to my dog either. I wanted to give my dog the same healthy outcome I wanted for myself.)

I hope that helps! :) And if you are interested, here are a few studies that I read during my research that helped me reach my decision: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

[vashtijoy]

Do you hc akechi as a momma’s boy? I’ve always found his relationship to his mother kind of unclear, like he seems like he really cares but also it definitely doesn’t seem like his main motivator but most definitely the cause… idk

Okay, let's start with what we know. First of all, here's Ren's image of baby Akechi from the Proof of Justice OVA:

He's not very old. If he's the same age as the kid Ren was watching, he's what, six? Seven? Eight? And already, he doesn't look like a happy kid. Doesn't he look kind of nervous and worried and too old for his age?

In the OVA, he says he didn't have friends to play with even then—something separated him from his peers even before his mother died—and that pretending to play hero made his mother happy. Like he was already responsible for her that young, as she faded and died. Like he was already putting up that perfect front before she was gone.

Of course, that's present-day Akechi talking, and I'm not sure he has much investment in thinking about times when he did dream of being a hero—if they ever existed. But I think we can conclude that his relationship with his mother was difficult. In the engine room, he says she became unhappy after he was born (不幸になる fukou ni naru, to become unhappy) and eventually died—she fell into depression because of him, he believes, and died. He played not for himself, but to please her—presumably because she wanted him to play, because watching him suffer compounded her misery. He talks about putting frozen meals in the microwave for himself as a kid. He talks about wanting an apology for his mother, from the father who abandoned them.

The picture is really bleak—a young elementary-school age kid in a single-parent household, neglected by a depressed mother, burdened with her care and his own, determined to be so good and so perfect and not cause problems and just be whatever she needs. A kid who thinks maybe an apology from his father will put his world to rights. No friends. No family that he knows yet, or would want to know. His mother, and his obligations, are his whole world.

and then mom dies

Akechi remembers his mother being in the sex industry (waiting at the baths for her clients to leave), but he also remembers that she left it—presumably to give him a better life. Moving into headcanon, I wonder to what extent that may have isolated her—cut her off from support structures she had, and the people she knew, contributing further to her depression.

She's working longer hours. She has a kid she wanted—I think there's no question of this; there are many ways to get rid of kids you don't want—but maybe can't cope with, who watches her with huge, too-old eyes and poorly-hidden expectations she never meets, so that she breathes guilt at the sight of him.

She lets him down at every turn. She's a burden on him. She's destroying his childhood. He'd be so much better off without her, wouldn't he? And one day she just... doesn't come home. She's just not there when he gets back from school, or she never arrives back from work. He microwaves his dinner, does whatever he does alone at home, and waits, and waits; he goes over his planning for what he'll do when she doesn't come back, the kind of plans kids make when they can't rely on their parents. But he still waits for her. And when someone does arrive, in the early hours of the morning, it's not his mother; it's the police.

and then

OVA Akechi says that he "bounced around his relatives" after his mother's death, that they passed him around like a parcel. It's a popular HC that he spent time in orphanages etc, but I don't think this was the case; his situation closely parallels Futaba's, with her succession of exploitative relatives who didn't care about her and only wanted money. Akechi describes this himself: his desperation to be good enough that someone would want him around.

Remember, he's been putting up that front with his sick mother, long before she died, and now that he's with relatives who don't want him, he keeps going. Anything inconvenient, anything ugly, he buries deep. He gets better at it. He becomes polite and perfect and cheerful; he gets perfect grades; he tries to be the sort of kid you can't help but notice, the sort that makes you proud.

On the outside, at any rate. Because it never does a damn thing. We can speculate about whether and how Akechi's caregivers were outright abusive to him, but one thing seems crystal clear: none of them wanted him. Nothing he did ever made them love him. The only person who ever needed him was his sick mother, and she's gone.

And what do people who need to be needed do, when they don't have anyone? What do people do when they're desperate for love? They do anything, and find anyone they possibly can, who will need them and love them. Which is how Akechi ends up working for his estranged father, believing with every part of his being that he hates the man, while being led around for words of praise that would have meant nothing to him if he was truly as indifferent as he thinks. Like Cognitive Akechi insists, "you wanted him to love you, didn't you?"

but why does he do that and where's mom in the equation

At eighteen, Akechi still blames himself for his mother's death. He uses the wording 生まれる事を望まれなかった子供 umareru koto o nozomarenakatta kodomo, "a child whose birth was unwanted; a child who should never have been born"—rendered "cursed child" in the localisation.

But he never talks much about his mother, other than to dripfeed personal information to Joker and Futaba. She doesn't seem to feature overmuch in his thinking, like you say. I think what's going on is something like this:

Akechi's mother dies some time in his early elementary school years. Part of his thinking has been this idea that, if he could only find his father and get him to apologise, maybe that would make his mother happy; maybe that's something Akechi could do to help her. I think that "back then, Shido was on the Tokyo Assembly" line ("he was already a high-ranking official by then") is not referring to when Akechi got his powers, but to when his mother died.

And when she dies, Akechi knows, he knows whose fault it is. And it isn't his absent father's. It's Akechi's fault. He has not been good enough. He hasn't hidden his irrelevant little sadnesses well enough. He hasn't been independent enough, strong enough, supportive enough. He woke his mom while he was getting ready for school one time, I don't fucking know, okay. But all the things we tell ourselves when someone dies unexpectedly—if only, if only, if only—on the shoulders of a little kid. A kid with no support, because he's been passed to relatives who don't want him and see him as a burden.

Essentially: Akechi, at six or seven, has not done what Joker will do so effectively at sixteen. He hasn't hidden his messy reality, his messy little-boy needs and fears, behind what his mother needed him to be. And now his mother is dead.

So, first of all: he is very motivated to make that mask better, to be more perfect, more independent, less real. And second? If he doesn't find somewhere for all that guilt to go, somewhere to displace that secret knowledge to, he will break. And broken boys are not perfect. They are never wanted. Nobody ever keeps them around.

an apology just ain't going to cut it any more

This is Akechi's start of darkness. The father who used his mother as a plaything and cast her aside, never knowing her name—the father who left her with a child who destroyed her (and he'll just brush over that bit, if you don't mind)—the father who left them both alone with nothing—he murdered Akechi's mother. Her death was his fault.

This is how Akechi becomes the boy we know, consumed on the inside with hate that has eaten him up like acid. For almost as long as he's been a person at all, he's been obsessed with revenge on his father—first for the death of his mother, for Akechi's own suffering and aloneness as he's grown, and ultimately for all the indignities he's made Akechi swallow under his thumb.

Letting it go was never an option. Because if he stops thinking about what a monster his father is, if he stops thinking of all the things he wants to do to him and dreaming of a future where he can somehow bring him down, he has to face the fact that he, and he alone, caused his mother's death. It might be bullshit, but Akechi believes it. And—because the adults around him have no interest in him—he has no support in dealing with all of this in any other way. He's a little kid, who's dealt all his life with things that would tax most adults to handle.

so what does this ultimately look like

At eighteen, Akechi is still in a very real way that little kid who lost his mother. He doesn't really grow up. He's probably the one cast member whose dialogue most prominently foregrounds the divide between kids and the adults who exploit them, right from that first conversation in the TV studio. He still thinks of himself as a child, and of adults as this vast, oppressive sea of other—a sea he can navigate and control and oppress in turn.

But I don't think he remembers his mother. I've written him sometimes as remembering things like the smell of her perfume, or the sight of her hair from behind, but not her face; the rhythm of her voice, but not its sound. He remembers her as an anxiety, a burden; for this almost-grown boy who refuses to fail no matter the cost, the death of his mother is still his greatest (and possibly only acknowledged) failure.

I said further up that Akechi's motive has shifted over time. Avenging his mother made sense when he was seven or eight. Later on, as he stores up insults and rejections, the focus shifts to avenging himself. And after he's worked for Shido for a year or two? After Shido has, despite everything, never quite acknowledged Akechi or rewarded him as he deserves? Well, then the focus is going to be on getting Shido.

Because Akechi is essential to him. He made him. Shido needs him like nobody ever has. Not since his mother.

That's the core of the twisted connection Akechi has to Shido. He hates him, and he blames him, and yet Shido is his only true family, poisoned as that relationship is. He is the only one who needs Akechi for anything. And Akechi needs so desperately to be needed....

I dunno. Shido could have had a devoted assassin for life, and been lifetime dictator of Japan, if he'd been just a little smarter; I suspect that thought unsettles third semester Akechi more than almost anything. Instead, Akechi's hate somehow deepens, and deepens, and deepens until he drowns in it, in all the things he's done in its service. To be needed so deeply, and yet still to be neglected....

Well, that makes the death of his mother look like nothing at all.

[getinthefuckingcarkitten]

Wriggling helplessly in Phoneless Hell rn but please let me release demons out here. CW for foxvery stepcest

Anyway what if Foxy got to grow up with a rich dad with whom she has a fraught relationship due to her mom's untimely and frankly mysterious death. She has everything she could ask for except for what she really wants and her dad's numerous gifts don't fill the void. As her 20th birthday approaches, he decides to remarry and hope to offer to her now what she didn't have as a kid, a mother figure.

And Avery, who's at risk of being thrown out of her company due to recent scandals involving altering important documents to embezzle large sums of money takes the first chance to jump out of the fire by being Way Too Nice to her boss, who takes the bait immediately. She's too nice to be involved in that kind of thing, too kind, attentive and selfless. And beautiful, even if her age is starting to show! And Avery goes along with it, yes, sure she'll meet his little daughter, they can surely build a beautiful family. And she gets to keep the job, of course, even if now having to bed the boss was part of it, she's determined to cling to it with tooth and nail.

Anyway, he brings Avery home and it's. Well. Turns out that the way her soon-to-be-husband talked about his daughter was a bit misleading. For starters, she isn't a cute little girl, but a bratty 19-year-old with a too-sharp tongue who dresses like they're stuck in a permanent heat wave and hates her fucking guts. Foxy seems to instantly sense that Avery's heart isn't in it at all, and immediately starts treating her new stepmom callously. Making gold-digging jokes that Avery has to laugh off, commenting on her outfit (The audacity! At least she's wearing something!) and generally being miserably hard to get along with. And now that Avery is going to be at their house much more often, that's just a permanent pebble in her shoe that she has to deal with. Great.

Then one day Avery just snaps. Maybe it was the third wet towel left over her expensive purse this week, maybe it was another morning the little princess came home drunk and pretended to spill something on her, but she snaps. Just grabs a fistful of what she thought were extensions at first, but were just too soft to the touch and she minds her strength to not scalp the girl as much as she deserves it a little, and then she almost gloats over the whimper she hears before getting really close to Foxy's face and telling her that either she fixes her attitude, or Avery will fix it for her.

She tries not to think of how transfixed she was in how Foxy's skin flushed darker, how her eyes watered a little and how her eyes seemed to reflect something that definitely wasn't fear. A surprisingly small "Yes, ma'am" is her only response before Foxy scurries off to her room.

Foxy does not, in fact, fix that attitude. Well, she's better behaved in front of her dad, to his delight, but whenever they're alone she does it over and over again, her childish pranks, trying to trip Avery as she walks or stealing her drinks while she's still drinking them while making eye contact. It only really stops whenever Avery gives her a scathing look before giving her a good, and frankly relieving slap, and she supposes it's lucky that she hasn't denounced Avery's temper to her dad yet, but not only does the little cunt go right back to her ways after a while, she seems to be trying to spend even more time bothering Avery personally.

It's then that Avery cracks the code, one day. But she has to test it out, and her correction methods start to change. Another little joke in the kitchen gets Foxy shoved face down over the counter. She pretends to be about to spank her and then just leaves the confused, clearly aroused girl there. Avery ignores most of her provocations, all the different ways the brat has found to call her a hag and a gold-digger and holds back the outrage, if a little bit of amusement at one particular way too bold comment on the possible sag of her tits rather than trying to correct them while they're alone, frustrating Foxy, then suddenly pinches her thigh under the dinner table until it hurts, making the girl have to hold down her whimpering and pretend it's the spicy food making her red in the face.

In the back of her mind, Avery is concerned. Maybe this is an elaborate ploy to expose her true colors, and this is the only reason why she still avoids Foxy when she can afford to do it as the girl seems to want to bring out the worst in her, but then one day the marriage proposal comes. She's been such an angel in their lives, Foxy's dad says, and his daughter's been so much happier, so much better behaved, says she's been wanting to finally get more involved in his work.

Of course Avery will accept it, and there's some sort of dark, heavy feeling that coils around her heart and drips to her lower belly as she thinks of how much more time she'll spend with her new stepdaughter, that insufferable brat whose blushing, teary-eyed face had seared itself into her mind. And she pretends that it's not the almost overwhelming desire to see it again, but love for her fiancé that makes her smile so much as she accepts the proposal;

[kyouka-supremacy]

hii again!! thank you for answering my asks hehe 😊🤭

Going off from your response (about the bsd ladies ✨), I have some random questions for you 💗

Who is your favourite bsd *female* character?

Who is one female character you'd want to rewrite?

And who is the female character you see the most wasted potential in?

No pressure btw!

Omg hi thank you so much for this ask I love sharing opinions almost as much as I love talking about women 💞💞💞

Favourite bsd *female* character?

All of them LMAO. But Kyouka holds a special place in my heart <3 I mean, I think she's quite objectively the best written female character in this series, if anything because she gets an actual character arc beyond the two occasional chapters of spotlight. I really like the inherent duality of her character in being both a skilled assassin and a little girl (and how it can be both tragic and hilarious! The versatility). Her character arc is sincerely compelling, I'm a sucker for any character who's just doing their very best to be a good person even when it feels like going against their nature. Her backstory is so tragic! Her relationship with her ability is so interesting! But I just love how truly… Strong-willed she is, how determined and resolute she can be; she's truly inspiring. If you ask me, she's got that charm of magical girls anime: sometimes you really need to see little girls defeat unimaginable evils with the power of love to heal your heart. And the fact that she doesn't really fit the trope of happy-go-lucky girl is all the more capturing!! Again, I really love the interior conflict - or coexistence - between her dark, ruthless side, and the side that likes bunnies and crepes and girly things; it makes her so authentically and unmistakably Kyouka. I appreciate how she's the only character who can sort of keep up with the protagonist role to ss/kk and s/kk, and she's only 14 eheh. And I LOVE her interactions with the other characters, so much!!!! I adore her relationship with Atsushi (truly. Not even remotely close to how much I talk about them), and I feel like they truly deserve each other in a lot of ways. The way Kyouka's sharp attitude and blunt personality fit and mitigate Atsushi's eternal indecisiveness and insecurity and the way Atsushi reminds Kyouka every day that she can do good and that she is good. How they saved each other and how they keep saving each other every day. I've said it a lot of times that Atsushi is profoundly selfish and that all good actions he does are to be traced back to some twisted conception of self-survival, but if there's really anyone Atsushi loves selflessly and unconditionally, that has to be Kyouka. If there is such a thing as platonic soulmates, Kyouka and Atsushi definitely are for me; they're just so siblings in a way I can't even put in words. AND AND AND her relationship with Akutagawa I've talked about endlessly before!!! Her relationship with Dazai!!! KOUYOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Kyouka and Kouyou chapter my beloved aka the only bsd chapter to pass the Bechdel test). Omg potentially Yosano!!!!! Kenji Kenji Kenji!!!!!!!!! I just. Love Kyouka a lot okay she gets me emotional. Kyouka supremacy forever. (Also, she's dubbed by beloved tpn Emma va Sumire Morohoshi :') )

*Catches breath*

One female character you'd want to rewrite?

Ah, as of now, definitely Teruko. Here's the story I imagine her having: she fought the Great War by Fukuchi's side, as her second in command; despite what her appearance may have looked like back then, she's about the same age as him. She doesn't love or worship him, but she surely admires him a lot; they were comrades and she learnt from him a lot of her ideals on how soldierse have to stain their hands and do horrible, ruthless things in order for the majority of citizens to live safe and happy. She learnt to adore the cause because of him, and she's very loyal to her uniform. She started dressing as a young girl after the war ended, as a way to negate the cruel and traumatic experience of war in her mind and withdraw to the unknowing, happy times of childhood (while still staying her and self-aware; it's just an ephemeral relief). The rest of the story proceeds pretty much as it is in canon, but when Fukuchi reveals to her that he's actually a terrorist working with the doa, she doesn't side with him. She actually feels throughout betrayed, because he had been this pillar of justice and integrity for her, and knowing he was actually a terrorist left her shell-shocked. She DOES act like she's following him, because she is smart and experienced and she knows that she can't take him on her own (differently from Tachihara and Jouno who faced him alone with no backup. Lol. They're a little stupid.), and waits for the moment he lets his guard down to strike and impale him. AND NOT BECAUSE HE ASKED HER TO. WHICH IS HONESTLY TERRIBLE UNDER EVERY ASPECT. Insert here a flashback with her backstory and how Fukuchi himself taught her that justice comes before anything else, because it's the prime tool to serve citizens and pursue world peace. Interior turmoil and trauma for killing the person she respects the most ensues. Now that's how I would write Teruko, because I care about her.

Female character you see the most wasted potential in?

Probably Naomi!!! I love how sly and ingenious she is even in spite of not having an ability, I really hope we'll get to see more of her. I like the theory of her being a projection of Jun'ichirou's ability, although I acknowledge it's problematic in the way it takes away even more agency from her character; even then, it would be cool if she took the form of some kind of sentient ability like Gab in 55 Minutes, or if Jun'ichirou himself was a projection of Naomi (eh. a girl can dream). I really like @frankenjoly's headcanon that she and Mori would be besties, I think about it a lot ahah, I can really see it.

ALSO Higuchi and her ability C'MON I know it's there!!! It MUST be there because bsd so far has been following a very strict pattern where all characters named after writers have abilities, while non ability users are named after novels' characters or non-writers irl people (not to talk about Sakunosuke Oda's The Literature of Possibility passage that's mentioned at the start of the Dark Era novel, with the novel creating a DIRECT connection between writers irl and ability users in the bsd world). I really really hope after this arc is over we'll get an Higuchi arc!!!!

That said, pretty all characters I feel have wasted potential pffttt. Give Lucy and Yosano more screentime!! BRING KOUYOU BACK!!!!!! Finally elaborate on Agatha who's the only female organization leader!!!!! Gin!!!!!!! Wells!!!!!!!!!!

[horizon-verizon]

Isn't it like wrong to call Viserys a rapist? He groomed Aemma and Alicent but he didn't rape them in a sense he didn't go like Aegon with Dyana. There are many types of rape of course but like it seems wrong

*EDITED POST* (4/13/24)

Ask comes in response to this reblog/post. This is about the show, yes?

No this isn't like anything with Aegon raping Dyana, taking her surprise and her yelling at him to stop. BUT I'd say that seeing that your wife doesn't want you to touch her means she hasn't given consent. Alicent was very obvious in her lack of desire to have sex with Viserys.

We have no scenes of show!Viserys marrying and living life with Aemma before episode 1, right? So we have to assume that in HotD, he also married Aemma at the ages in the original story/the bks. Age is definitely a matter we can look at here to determine grooming or no grooming, but since this is a world where:

most noble marriages are arranged and those marrying often do not actually get to choose their legal partners

where the marrying AND consummating persons can be under our (American, idk abt other nations) legal age of 18

we need to see who pursued who before the betrothal (not the marriage, the betrothal) AND why they did so? Because there is a difference b/t:

someone trying to preemptively make their future spouse more comfortable with them so the eventual consummation isn't awkward or a "failure" or stressful or something else I add below about the anxiety to perform one's duty

--AND--

them claiming they are doing such only to get the target to fuck them/be more vulnerable to their influence.

There's no strong proof of him wanting a sick sense of control or influence over Aemma before they married or betrothed. There's no proof of Viserys asking or pushing for a marriage with her for the express purpose of fucking with a child, because he wanted to have that type of control over her or any child. And they were arranged to be wed. He was around 16 to Aemma's 11 when they married and they consummated their marriage when she was 13.

Under this context, the 2 years of waiting might have been seen as "too long", as much as it shouldn't have been, but for whoever were willing to marry Aemma off at her 11 yrs of age are probably those who also applied some pressure to said couple to consummate, EVEN IF the couple actually liked each other, too.

Even without some external entity actively or purposefully making that sort of pressure--either maliciously or impatiently, like ordering a consummation versus constantly asking about it--the couple themselves could have both felt anxious to perform their "duties" to & for their parents/authority figures/families. But we simply don't know for sure and it wouldn't be mutually exclusive.

The couple lived & grew up in a world with little concept of a strong "legal" age, or a boundary for girls that was also enforced by laws. A world where doing your duty to your families, to your "God", to the authority figures around, to oaths you take you were often held as higher ethical standards than doing what some of us moderns would think is an ethical duty to "humanity".

Adult!Viserys expressly chose Alicent, though. And with Alicent being very obvious, I don't see how he couldn't have seen Alicent's reluctance or hesitance in all the times they had sex (at least 4 for each child)? From what little we see, they don't seem to be a couple where they (really Viserys) at least watch for each other's cues or signs of desire in bed. AllegedlyLola on TikTok says it best of HotD!Viserys (but much can the same shoudl be said for his book version): he says he loved Aemma, that he will always love her, etc. and pedestalizes Aemma to the degree that Rhaenrya could never be Baelon, her siblings can never be her, and all to never really give us a real picture of who Aemma was so he does not have to divulge how some of his actions have ruined Aemma's life. Helaena not having kids or at least stop having them before Rhaenrya becomes Queen/he dies would have even helped Rhaenyra...smh. He doesn't ever think to not let his daughter Helaena marry at 13 & have TWINS not long after (as Aemma died in part bc she started having children WAY too early after they consummated their marriage); he forces his daughter to marry Laenor to fix a problem he created instead of actually thinking about what would be better for her claim and position--which is not to marry a gay man!, esp when everyone knows he is gay; I mention Alicent already...this is the same guy who marries a 15 year old but gets angry with Daemon for seducing his 19 year old daughter and saying she is just a "girl"...bro...Add on the fact he allowed a faction against his heir and be lead by his second obviously hostile Hand & wife exist in court instead of properly intervening and diminishing Otto and Alicent's influence over Rhaenrya so she wouldn't have to escape to Dragonstone...no self reflection, just constant deflection, ignoring, placating the wrong people, putting his foot down at the wrong moments, not pursuing certain avenues or voids of information like in the Vhagar claim incident AND allowed the same thing that happens to his first wife happen to his next wife and his two daughters...ugh.

Getting back to Alicent, remember, consent is not a one-size-fits-all. You need to constantly ask for it and confirm it.

Keep in mind that this is an HotD Watsonian reading/analysis. The writers chose to make show!Alicent so vulnerable and defenseless to introduce something that modern viewers would easier think of her with their no-under 18s (and in certain age gaps, really under 25s) rule without making them really think about what these people themselves were going through. It's easier to assess a medieval setting or circumstance with the rules of conduct that we follow and know and then apply to them as if they would 100% understand how we think INSTEAD OF us FIRST trying to understand how they would think & react to what they have had to live with or learned so that we may expose how/where the double standards are.

I'm not saying that we should go back to marrying 15 year olds, I'm saying take a breather and assess how these people will think & act and assign the "fault" of such to the world instead of just them. Where it's appropriate. I am also not saying that you shouldn't feel uncomfortable, either. I'm saying do the activity fiction requires of us and see through the characters' eyes to understand them instead of trying to enforce you own views right away and all the time to find the nuance.

Example, this Youtube commentator perfectly describes Alicent's mindset within the lens & contextual vocabulary of what the feudal world asks of its people, acknowledging her victimhood but still holding Alicent accountable/showing/implying how wrong she isr:

[highlordofkrypton]

writing tips // beta readers

The topic of beta readers has come up pretty often ever since I joined Tumblr and is very prominent on AO3, especially in the notes. I wanted to add my two cents on the topic of beta readers and how I work with them to get the best I can out of my work.

My beta reader(s) are the only reason my work ever saw the light of day and I will say it again and again. Without them dragging my ass through some chapters and smothering me with hype and affection, I don't think I would have ever finished a project or gained confidence to share.

What is a beta reader?

A beta reader is someone who looks over your work before you publish it. Commonly, the beta reader is used to check for consistency along with grammar, proofreading, etc.

The important thing is to determine what do you want out of your beta reader?

For me, I use a beta reader for:

Vibe check

Consistency / Lore check

Flow - the rises and falls in the story

Smut check

Grammar, punctuation & spelling

Clarity

Keep in mind, at the end of the day this is your fic, so any feedback given is up to you to implement or ignore.

Where do you find a beta reader?

Anyone can be a beta reader, be it friends or family (depending on your comfort level). It can be other writers in the community, or a reader who has been a longtime fan of your work. Again, it depends on your needs. You'll see that I emphasize this a lot throughout this post.

A good beta reader can work miracles, as long as you know your expectations and set them.

Make sure that:

Your beta reader is someone you feel comfortable with, especially if you're a writer who feels especially vulnerable when sharing early stage writing

You trust the person to be timely (if you have a timeline) and communicate well their thoughts, especially if you want to learn from the feedback

Most important of all, your beta is someone you have fun with.

Does a beta reader need to in the same fandom as your writing?

Not necessarily, no.

Personally, I prefer beta readers who are not as familiar with the fandom because I take responsibility for the 'canon lore' and decision for the changes, but what I do want is to see if the chemistry of the characters (towards each other and the reader) is strong. That's more important to me than lore accuracy. I also prefer to beta fics that aren't in my fandom or my pairings because I feel like I can do a better job in giving feedback! Probably because I'm not great with canon.

Alternatively, if there is a good writer in your fandom who's writing you enjoy and would like to learn from, definitely reach out to see if they'd be willing to beta! You never know.

Who can I ask if I don't know anyone to beta read for me?

I found this really cool ressource the other day: @needabeta! They have a whole masterlist with people who are willing to beta read along with their fandoms, so check them out.

How does beta reading and beta feedback work?

There is no wrong answer; it works the way you and your beta reader want it to! I'll outline the way I do it, but what works for me, may not work for you!

I'll be using the same steps as my drafting process.

DRAFT 0: OUTLINE

I usually finish my outline before mentioning anything to my beta. If i outline a full story, and it looks like I'm actually going to write it, I'll give her a heads up that she'll have a fic coming. I don't let her see the outline, but I will:

Ask her questions about hyper specific elements (i.e. I was struggling with reconciling the problematic age gap between Faeries and Humans in my fic and wanted her opinion) -- this didn't really need characters to discuss the topic.

Give her an outline of where I want to go or what vibes I'm aiming for so she can keep it in mind: this is where you set your expectations.

For example, I'm writing a prequel for the parents of a character in my fandom -- the relationship needs to have love, but it also needs to be cold and broken. It needs to break, but not so much that it can't be repaired (multiple times). I need this to be a balancing act, more than a full fledged story because it's a side story to give background.

DRAFT 1: SKELETON / JUST WRITE

I'm gonna out myself here, but I'm a writer that needs my hand held 😂 Even through I'm just writing, I'll call my beta in multiple times to:

Do an interest check. "Is this story interesting? Do you want to know more?"

HYPE ME UP (and by GOD my beta is so good at this)

I get bogged down a lot in my impostor syndrome and will often re-write the first chapter of a fic 5-7 times. Having her be my conscience and my sanity really helps. She's so good at hyping me up, but she communicates so well that even when I'm not hitting the right notes, she'll know how to ask without making me feel that I need to restart.

A good example would be, "This section is good, will you be adding more for x and x?" I'll know that's my cue to gauge if I'm doing enough or not enough.

But honestly, at this point, she just drags me to the finish line.

DRAFT 2: FLESH OUT THE STORY

Now that the first draft is done, I will ask my beta reader to go back to the beginning and we will both read and take notes. She likes to comment directly in the doc while I take my notes by hand.

@ellipsus-writes also has a cool feature where you can have multiple drafts of your doc IN THE SAME DOC AND THEN MERGE THEM!! HOW COOL IS THAT!! Anyways, that's a software I've recently transitioned to and I'll eventually make a post about that... eventually.

At this point, these are the questions I ask:

Are there any scenes missing?

How does the story flow? Too fast or too slow?

Do the characters have enough depth? What about their relationships?

Do you have any unanswered questions about the story?

Is there anything that is unclear or inconsisent?

Once I have her feedback, time to write all the additional scenes. Notice how all the questions are focused on content and not polishing.

DRAFT 3: SELECTIVE READ

Once the additional scenes have been inserted, I bring in my beta reader again. If it's my main beta reader, I know she'll re-read the story entirely, but I have additional beta readers to whom I'll provide the 'new' chapters and they'll just read that.

If you remember in my drafting process, this step is where I'll want to do a selective read of specific elements. So, I'll make sure to do that first and send her my questions for each element.

Here are some examples:

Character descriptions (i.e. Are there any details that jump out to you as inconsistent? Am I too repetitive with eye colour, hair colour, etc.? Can you check for x's hair colour, I struggled to keep that in check so I might have forgotten things.)

Lore elements (i.e Is the world magical enough? In x and x part, I feel like the magic has died, but does it make sense to reflect what's happening in the story? Are there too many magical bargains?)

Dialogue (i.e. Is x sassy enough throughout the story? I feel like y doesn't talk enough.)

Smut (i.e. Does this need lube? More foreplay? Does the scene need to be longer? Do they finish too fast?)

Show vs. Tell (Do you feel the magic? The pain? The love?)

Tense (past vs. present)

Relationship depth (especially for side characters) (i.e. does it make sense that they fell in love? or that they became enemies? Do his brothers feel like family??)

This also requires self-awareness about your own writing and the points where you struggled in the process. I know writing smut is really difficult for me, which is why I always ask if it's enough.

The best way to get the information you need is to guide your beta as well. Of course, I welcome any additional feedback she might have.

DRAFT 4: FINAL EDIT

GIRL, IF YOU SEE THIS BC I KNOW YOU CHECK MY BLOG ONCE EVERY FULL MOON 🙏 THANK 🛐 YOU 🫵 fOR 🌈 EVERYTHING 💃 YOU 🥳 DO 💗

The reason I'm giving her a shout out at this stage is because I never ask her to proofread more than she feels like because I think it's very boring and tedious, esp if your fic ends up being long AND YET, HER ASS PROVIDES ME WITH AN IN-DEPTH FULLY REVIEWED DRAFT FOR 100+ PAGES. I am blessed, i am bLESSED.

I don't even proofread that diligently.

Anyway, for anyone else, I would normally just ask them to read over a final time to see if the vibe is right. You could even combine steps 3 and 4, and just have your beta read when you're done editing completely. It's up to you and your beta reader!

That's it!

When I post, I always make sure to thank my beta reader even if it was a partial read.

I realized that I didn't say where I found my beta reader, but she's my longtime friend, soul-sister, owner of the main shared braincell most of the time. We used to work in marketing & content writing together, which is why we have a formalized process just from years of being on the same team. A lot of the reviewing process is second nature, but I really do hope it helps someone out there!

We also overlap on almost all our fandoms, but enjoy them in different ways, so I love that she understands the vision and at the same time, brings her own perspective. She also gets my inside jokes in the fic, which is why I say have fun with your beta. You're building worlds together! Make the best of it because if it's not fun, what's the point?

[queenofcats17]

Hello. I am still thinking about my role swap.

I've been thinking about a lot of different little ideas for the AU, so enjoy some disjointed thoughts below, beginning with what I think some of the conflicts between the two would be.

One of the big points of contention between the two of them, I think, would be the fact that John is incredibly cautious and risk-averse while Arthur is very curious and prone to risk-taking.

I think human John has learned to be incredibly cautious and to avoid taking unnecessary risks. Before he left the cult, I think it was because the cult leaders were incredibly overprotective of him. After all, they didn't want anything bad to happen to the vessel of their great King. And John didn't want to earn their ire, so he did everything he could to avoid upsetting them. And once he left the cult, he did everything he could to avoid being found by the cult and to avoid stumbling into some supernatural nonsense again.

I think John saw how dangerous knowledge and curiosity could be while he was in the cult and is thus very wary of pursuing knowledge and trying to get answers. So, when Arthur pushes for them to find answers and to try and solve the mystery they find themselves in, John is very resistant to it.

I think after getting Arthur in his head, John loses his memories, which means he doesn't remember who sent him the music box or anything else about his life. The only reason John goes along with the idea of solving the mystery of who he is and why he was sent the music box is because it might allow him to get Arthur out of his head. As he slowly gets his memories back, he probably is also determined to continue because Anna and Sarah are in trouble and he feels like it's his responsibility to help them since they got kidnapped by his cult in the first place.

Not to mention, I think John is just not a very trusting person because of his background. Even after he loses his memories, he has this ingrained fear of trusting people.

I think part of Arthur's desire to take risks and look for answers is a natural curiosity, but there's also the fact that he doesn't remember much of anything about his own life. He's pretty sure he was human at some point and he doesn't know how he got from human to what he is now. He doesn't really remember all that much about being human, so it doesn't bother him a whole lot, but it does still bother him not to know. He wants to know what happened to him. He wants to know how he became what he is.

And he's incredibly interested in solving the mystery that is John because this is the most stimulation he's gotten in years and he needs to know what's happening here. And it's been a long time since he's had a proper relationship with someone, so he's not... super great at respecting boundaries? I feel like he probably pushes too hard when asking John about his past and why John is so resistant toward some of Arthur's ideas.

I feel like since he's also a bit disconnected from his humanity, Arthur is even more down for murder than he normally is. John is also definitely pretty down for murder due to his survival-at-all-costs mindset, but there are definitely some times when he and Arthur disagree on whether to kill something. And I doubt these are quiet disagreements.

I'm not completely caught up on the show at the moment, but I know Arthur gets sent back to the Middle Ages in one of the newer episodes, and part of me thinks it might be fun if this entity version of Arthur is a version of Arthur who got separated from John during this transition and ended up stuck. Maybe in some desperate attempt to find a way to reunite with John, he ended up performing some sort of ritual that turned him into something similar to what John and the King in Yellow are.

Maybe Kayne even shunted him into a world where there was a human version of John because he thought it would be fun to see how their dynamic would play out with Arthur as the entity. I have not encountered Kayne in the podcast yet, but from the one animatic I've seen I feel like this is something he'd do just for shits and giggles.

Also. I have a pretty good idea now of the situation that led to Arthur being trapped in the music box and John leaving the cult.

Anna and Sarah were kidnapped by the cult John was a part of and were going to be used as sacrifices to bring the King in Yellow to the mortal plane and into John's body. But the King in Yellow wasn't what came through. It was Arthur.

I think John probably talked with Anna and Sarah while they were being kept by the cult, and he ended up helping them escape when the ritual went wrong.

As for why Arthur came through the portal, I think it was because he felt John's presence, and even though he doesn't really remember all that much about his John or what their relationship was, he knows that John is a part of him that he desperately wants back.

And I think Arthur did kill Emily MacFarland in this case. Because she opened the music box and she wasn't John. He needed John.

He doesn't tell John about any of this at first, of course. Because while he's lost a lot of understanding of humans, he understands that this John probably doesn't know him and will probably freak out if Arthur just admits, "Hey, I think you're the missing piece of me that I need to feel whole so I tricked you into opening my music box so I could get inside you."

And John is pretty freaked out when he does find this out.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Leor Sapir

Published: Mar 21, 2024

Both critics and supporters of so-called “gender-affirming care” appreciated the candor of transgender activist and author Andrea Long Chu’s recent cover story for New York magazine.

Chu’s piece, titled “Freedom of Sex: The Moral Case for Letting Trans Kids Change Their Bodies,” makes a principled case for letting children dictate their own hormonal and surgical treatments. Chu believes that “trans kids” shouldn’t have to get a mental-health assessment before initiating hormones, and that, “in principle, everyone should have access to sex-changing medical care, regardless of age, gender identity, social environment, or psychiatric history.” Remarkably, Chu does not deny that biological sex is binary and determined at conception but argues that humans have no ethical obligation to come to terms with reality, calling this purported duty “a fine definition of nihilism.”

While trans activists often pretend that only “right-wing reactionaries” and “trans-exclusionary radical feminists” (“TERFs”) oppose their claims, Chu refreshingly observes that this isn’t true. The most “insidious” pushback, Chu says, has come from “TARLs,” or “trans-agnostic reactionary liberals.” Indeed, polling has shown that Americans with liberal views largely reject such policies as schools keeping students’ gender “transition” secret from their parents and allowing trans-identified males to compete in female sports.

Chu’s essay went viral, prompting New York staff writer Jonathan Chait to pen a “Liberal Response.” Chait has a history of opposing trans activists’ censoriousness, particularly about medical transition for youth. Last December, for example, he responded to transgender advocacy groups’ fury that the New York Times had acknowledged the ongoing scientific debate over how best to treat gender-distressed minors, which they claimed had abetted state-level Republican efforts to ban pediatric transition. Chait called for “carefully following the evidence,” and observed that “the whole reason leftists try to associate reporters at the Times with Republican-backed laws is precisely that their targets do not agree with the conservative position on transgender care.”

Chait’s December piece correctly identified the tribalist logic informing elite discussions of gender medicine in the United States, and progressive journalists’ efforts to banish from the liberal tribe those who raise questions about this controversial area of medicine. His response to Chu’s essay, however, fails to extend to conservatives the charity he expects trans activists to extend to liberals like himself. If Chait is worried about tribalism obscuring the pursuit of truth, he might consider how his own writing may contribute to this problem.

Consider his characterization of the debate over “trans rights.” Chait claims that “[c]onservatives dismiss trans rights altogether, while liberals completely support trans rights as it pertains to employment, housing, public spaces, and other adult matters, disagreeing mainly in how it is applied to children (as well as, in limited cases, addressing the problems raised by trans female athletes competing in women’s sports).”

Whether this is true, of course, depends entirely on what Chait means by “trans rights.” “Rights talk,” to borrow Mary Ann Glendon’s term, obscures the hard trade-offs and real-world costs that unavoidably confront those entrusted to make policy choices. Chait should have spelled out what “trans rights” mean in practice, but he doesn’t. His failure is especially puzzling considering two claims he makes in his essay. Chait claims, first, that “Trans-rights activists and their allies have relentlessly presented their entire agenda as a take-it-or-leave-it block, attacking anybody who criticizes any piece of it as a transphobe.” Second, he argues that rights claims generally render empirical questions irrelevant. As Chait puts it, “if, say, you consider firearm ownership an absolute right, then no evidence about how many lives any particular gun-control reform is likely to save is going to make you support it.”

Whatever Chait means by “trans rights,” the notion that all liberals support permissive trans policies outside the pediatric medicine and athletic contexts is unfounded, according to the data. Partisan affiliations are not a perfect proxy for voter ideology, but it’s telling that a 2022 PRRI poll found 31 percent of Democrats and 55 percent of Independents favor laws that require people to use bathrooms that accord with their biological sex. A more recent YouGov poll found that 26 percent of surveyed Democrats backed such laws, with 22 percent unsure.

Assuming the “liberal” position on public accommodations is that people should be legally allowed to use bathrooms that accord with their subjective definition of being male or female (and many liberals would dispute that this is in fact a liberal position), and if the “conservative” position is that no such law should exist or even that laws should require bathroom access based on sex, then almost half of Democratic Party voters appear to hold views about bathroom access that could qualify as “conservative” under Chait’s scheme.

Liberal opinion similarly divides on the issue of trans-identifying inmates’ prison placements. According to the same YouGov poll, most Democratic voters either supported (35 percent) or weren’t sure about (33 percent) laws requiring prisons to house inmates according to their biological sex. In this case, support for “trans rights,” here defined as a legally protected right to be housed according to “gender identity,” appears to be a minority position within the Democratic Party.

Has Chait accurately characterized the conservative position in this debate? Despite his claim that “[c]onservatives dismiss trans rights altogether,” there’s no evidence that the standard “conservative” position on, say, employment is to allow adverse action against trans-identified people tout court. The YouGov poll found that 44 percent of Republican respondents said they support “banning employers from firing employees on the basis of their transgender identity.” Fifty-seven percent of Independents, which presumably includes some conservatives, answered the same way. Recalling the abstract nature of “rights talk,” what is framed as “employment non-discrimination” often comes down to policy questions about how employers should treat trans-identified employees or candidates in circumstances where sex presumably matters, for instance access to workplace bathrooms.

When asked whether there should be specific provisions for “transgender people in hate crime laws,” 42 percent of Republicans and 57 percent of Independents agreed that transgender status merits special protection, while 24 percent and 27 percent, respectively, said they weren’t sure.

In short, it is highly misleading to say that liberals support trans rights while conservatives do not. When the abstraction “trans rights” is broken down into concrete policy questions, as inevitably it must be, many liberals seem to disagree with policies favored by trans rights activists while many conservatives agree with them. Chait himself recognizes the uselessness of abstract rights talk when he turns his attention to Chu’s argument for “freedom of sex.”

Chait’s response to Chu’s arguments about pediatric medical “transitions” admirably makes the case that “empiricism” must be part of the liberal position on trans rights. However, his commitment to political “rights” seems to constrain his commitment to empiricism and evidence in crucial ways.

First, Chait notes that the supposed consensus that “gender-affirming care” is “settled science” is the result of “a power struggle between advocates of unmediated gender-affirming care and their more cautious colleagues,” but he doesn’t really explain what makes these colleagues “cautious” or whether there are divides within the “cautious” group. By this point he must know that there are three main positions in the debate: those, like Chu and parts of the gender medicine industry, who support unrestricted access to hormones and surgeries; those who support medical transition but call for rigorous mental health assessments; and those who believe that “gender-affirming” hormones and surgeries are inappropriate for minors regardless of circumstances. Those, like myself, who belong to the third group make evidence-based arguments. We regard members of the second group, many of whom are well intentioned, as cautious compared with the first group but overall misguided in their support for harmful practices.

While Chait mentions systematic evidence reviews from Europe and Canada, he fails to disclose that these reviews found no credible evidence of benefits for any pediatric cohort, including those treated under the “gold standard” and more “cautious” Dutch approach, which Chait notes involves “extensive evaluation and screening for mental health.” Left unstated is his apparent hope that after “extensive evaluation and screening,” some kids will benefit from early medicalization.

If liberals like Chait are truly committed to empirical medicine, they must at some point read and respond to the most important scholarly paper on pediatric gender medicine in recent years: “The Myth of ‘Reliable Research’ in Pediatric Gender Medicine: A critical evaluation of the Dutch studies—and research that has followed,” published last year. It’s hard to read this paper and come away with any impression other than that this entire medical field is based on fraud.

More fundamentally, Chait needs to grapple with a problem that runs deeper than the empirical questions discussed in clinical studies. Empirical debates about medical evidence generally presuppose a coherent conceptual framework of health and disease. We can debate, for example, whether a new drug for treating cancer is “safe and effective” because we agree that there is a condition to be treated (cancer), that it constitutes illness, and that doctors have an objective diagnosis to confirm its presence in humans.

Gender medicine, by contrast, lacks a coherent conceptual framework. The discipline is riddled with deep and abiding contradictions. Advocates argue that “gender incongruence” is not a pathology but a normal variation of human development, but they also insist that this phenomenon is a potentially life-threatening medical condition that requires “medically necessary” hormonal or surgical interventions. Advocates argue that “gender identity”—a term whose definition is either circular or reliant on stereotypes—is fixed, immutable, and infallibly knowable from early childhood, but they also say that “gender identity” is fluid and a “journey.”

Above all, thoughtful discussion of youth gender transition is not possible unless one is willing to interrogate the very notion of the “transgender child.” And this, I think, is still a bridge too far for liberals like Chait. What does it mean to say that a child “is transgender”? That she was “born in the wrong body”? That’s metaphysical talk, and absurd. It’s also dangerous to suggest such a thing to vulnerable teenagers who are going through the throes of puberty. Nor is there evidence for the transgender brain hypothesis—and even if there were, gender clinicians (even the “cautious”) ones are not calling for, and most would actively oppose, brain scans as part of the diagnostic process.

Liberal journalists who continue to use the term “trans kids,” as if it’s obvious what this means, without trying to define the term and defend it against rational, good faith criticism, are not truly interested in an empirical debate about youth gender medicine. They care about evidence and research, but only within limits.

A final note on Chait’s piece. He mentions the National Health Service of England’s recent decision to decommission puberty blockers as routine care for gender dysphoric youth. Chait should keep in mind that the Dutch first proposed using puberty blockers as part of the diagnostic process—halting puberty to create a window of time for the adolescent to sort out his feelings and decide whether to proceed with transition. We now know that these drugs do not provide neutral “time to think” (the title of a book about the Tavistock clinic) but more likely lock in a child’s incongruent gender feelings and make further “transition” all but a foregone conclusion. Chait seems to have read the Tavistock book and should at least be open to the possibility that the NHS’s decision is a step toward an eventual full national ban on medical transition for minors—similar to the restrictions enacted in two dozen Republican states that Chait presumably believes are extreme.

To his credit, Chait recognizes the potential for golden mean fallacies in the debate over youth gender medicine. He argues that we should not assume that “ideas located at the extreme at any given moment are always wrong.” I agree. But Chait should acknowledge the possibility that empirically minded, principled liberals like himself are still getting pediatric gender medicine wrong. He should be open to the possibility that one day in the not-too-distant future, he will find himself among the “conservatives.”

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"Sex is real… But the belief that we have a moral duty to accept reality just because it is real is, I think, a fine definition of nihilism." -- Andrea Long Chu, 2024

"The facts may tell you one thing. But, God is not limited by the facts. Choose faith in spite of the facts." -- Joel Osteen, 2014

Same thing.

[unbound-shade]

Several months ago I saw some truly reductive and ignorant comments about rejection sensitive dysphoria on here and they've stayed bothering me.

RSD is NOT a medical condition; it is a set of symptoms that can be present in ADHD and AuDHD folks, but does not constitute its own diagnosis. After a lifetime of having to interpret neurotypical communication and actions that don't inherently make sense to us to determine if we are safe and correct in what we're doing, some of us have developed a set of trauma responses about being rejected, or worrying that we are/will be.

I saw someone call RSD a tiktok trend which they reduced to, "People with ADHD experience rejection sometimes," and I wanted to reach through their screen and throttle them. An RSD episode is not a typical reaction to rejection; unless a sudden and almost total loss of sense of self and self esteem is "normal". I don't think the feeling of dread and impending doom and failure is "normal". The instant loss of so many of my coping skills and the feeling like the world is going to end or fall apart of I don't "fix" the situation (get un-rejected) definitely isn't "normal".

I'm pretty sure I started forming this symptom set when I was a toddler; one of my "canon events" involves an incident with some church women when I was in Sunday school at about age 3 or 4 and I can see the same panic and desperation in my response then that I see when I'm having a bad RSD episode now. That feeling of powerlessness and panic driving you to do anything and everything just to end the situation is still so tangible to me, 32 years later.

And there's no one out there with coping techniques for me to learn. No real advice or treatment. I just have to go on doing my best until the next episode knocks my feet out from under me. Then I do my best to keep from hurting the people I care about while the absolutely unhinged parts of me try to figure out how to "fix" the situation.

This symptom set and the difficulty in regulating it has become the greatest force of destruction in my own life that doesn't come from outside threats. The list of friendships I, during an episode, or just the reaction itself has ended grows longer every year. All of my lowest depressive points and all of my most manic phases have come from this.

Even now, part of my mind is trying to renegotiate the end of my last relationship to an audience of no one and it's only just starting to feel less intense and imperative that I do so.

This is not the normal response to real and perceived rejection. And it's way too real to be dismissed as some social media pop psych topic of the month or whatever when it's basically Godzilla to my brain's downtown Tokyo. Fuck the neurotypicals and self hating NDs who say otherwise.