#(although there is a fair bit of overlap)

[traaanskimkitsuragi]

inner circle

[coldpintglass]

Ship bingo: southkane!!!

Oh Southkane my beloved 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿⚽️🦁👔

What was it you said recently about them Laura? 

“Theirs is a deeply ethical age gap power imbalance boss/employee workplace extramarital affair” 

What is it that makes two (let’s be honest) quite strait-laced and otherwise “reserved”men such an interesting ship? 

Gareth full on embracing and being as mentally/emotionally supportive as he can to the squad. We can certainly debate how successful he was bringing England to glory BUT he certainly was well liked and respected as a result of this angle (until the recently). This has got to be down to his calm, level headed and actually very paternal role (especially with younger players). With older players (think Hendo, Walker etc.) you’ve got a more “normal” gaffer role that Gareth plays. You can sorta draw a line in the sand between with WHO and WHAT role he leans his managerial style too. 

A good chunk (probs 50% at least) of his motivation for being a very hands on supportive manager comes from the ‘96 euro penalty. The other two reasons are he failed as a manager at a club level and he has personally watched/played for England when they were REALLY not doing well internationally. He is absolutely driven by a need to fix things and probably sees this as a “duty” as opposed to a dream job. He has to prove it can be done for himself AND the country. 

Despite having a level headed and calm approach to managing, it doesn’t mean he’s necessarily right OR fair in judgements. He absolutely has favourites, he tries to go with what his team thinks works but has no qualm overriding it if he doesn’t like it.

And who better represents that last point than Harold?

Harry Kane is one of the best strikers produced by England. Individually he has a glittering number of achievements (ie Golden Boot from the WC 2018). But he’s never won anything as part of a team. And boy, does that fact follow him. 

He is exceptionally hard working and  determined. In his chat with Gary Neville on the Overlap, he says he used his left foot to score exclusively for 6 months to train himself to be able to score with either. That’s NUTS. He also has no qualms saying he WANTS to go down as a legend, he wants to be able to reach a level like Messi or Ronaldo. 

As an individual, Harry is a nice(ish) lad. He loves being a husband and a dad. He feels representing England is a joy, it’s duty and it’s a privilege to do so. He takes being captain VERY seriously and tries to mirror support similar to Southgate (and I’d argue a bit more successfully)

Harold is a noted teachers pet. Hilariously so. Responds, respects and acknowledges authority like it’s breathing. Every manager loves working with him because they say jump and he’ll say how high. 

Gareth has been part of Harry’s international career since he was part of the U21s!!!! These guys go way back, and how electrifying must it be to be able to mold/support/shape someone like Harry into the England captain you want to lead the country? Gareth is just besotted with Harry through and through, the line between loving him as a son vs as your favourite student gets blurred big time. 

Harry Kane is Gareth Southgate’s favourite and it’s not even close (every time someone points this out, Jordan Henderson gets a headache) 

So together you have:

Two men who see playing/managing England as a duty more than a job, complementing each other wonderfully. Harry has said winning with England is great than a trophy with a club, he damn well means it. 

Managing England completely redefined Gareth’s history and public imagine (until recently lol). Harry Kane is THE best goal scorer for England of all time and love his country evidently. Their England careers have made them folklore hero’s 

A man who’s gone through the agony of being the face of England’s failure and is determined not to let that happen to any of the next generation (although well I have more nuanced thoughts on this but I digress), who saw Harry Kanes penalty miss in the WC and his life flashed before him, desperate not for history to repeat itself.

A man who only wants to do his country proud and tries so very hard but well, as we saw recently, that’s not always enough. 

Harry’s also generally good at holding himself together and his emotions but I think that’s been slipping lately as the weight of two big Euro failures and the real vocal negative response from the public is starting to eat away at him. Who better to turn to then the man who’s put you in that position? 

Also we started to see some cracks in their otherwise very picture perfect relationship as captain and gaffer. Some of the comments during the euros about each other got a bit….. pointed. And what is it about footblr girlies LOVING some angst huh? 

They’re both doomed by the narrative and impossibly similar and all in all it makes for such wonderful (and hot lmao) fiction. They probably het their unique experiences more than anyone else should. 

Finally:

Age gap, HELLO!!!!! I’m a shallow woman and not above admitting that little taboo element between these two makes it’s sooooooooo delicious. Opens it up to some utterly fucking hot kinks as well AND it gives adds a bit of interest to both men. 

Infidelity from either man is unlikely due to their characters and therefore fun to explore with each other 👀 Obviously it’s nicer to go with the No WAGs element but lmao be real. Come on now. You’re  shipping real people…. 

Neither of them (Southgate especially,  sorry Gareth) are classically handsome. Which tbh means I kinda like it a bit more, feels a bit more…. Likely? Does that make sense? 

I can see a case for either of them being a bit more in love than the other - blind devotion vs proud teacher, both are great tbh!

Sorry just want to say it here but both of them are cringe and a bit too earnest to a degree that I think Harry styles off as endearing but Gareth it comes across as off putting whoops ahahah 

Anyway. Wow okay. Southkane manifesto over I guess! I bet there is something I’ve missed which is hilarious considering how fucking long this is but please feel free to add in anything or go ham!!!! 

[asordinaryppl]

A3! Backstage Story Translation - Sakyo Furuichi SR: Secret Return Gift Talk - Part 2

Sakyo: (Now I see why the Director was in such a good mood. Today’s curry really was delicious.)

Kazunari: Hey, hey, everyone! Can I have a bit of your time before you return to your rooms?

Tsuzuru: What’s gotten into you all of a sudden, Miyoshi-san?

Kazunari: Our gifts for Director-chan shouldn’t overlap, so I thought it’d be nice if we exchanged information!

Sakyo: (Exchange information…? Sounds useful, maybe I should listen.)

Masumi: I don’t really care to know.

Kazunari: But you’re definitely thinking of something awesome for your return gift, aren’t cha? I really wanna know!

Masumi: I’m thinking of something, but I won’t tell you what.

Kazunari: You’re so cold, Massu!

Kazunari: I can’t really force it out of you, though.

Kazunari: BTW, can I ask about your plans, Furuuche-san?

Sakyo: I haven’t decided on anything.

Tsuzuru: There’s lots to pick from, it really gets you thinking.

Tsuzuru: Although not for the Director, I bought some cheese cookies for my coworker at my part-time job. 

Sakyo: (I see… So that’s why Minagi was looking at them on today’s fair.)

Kazunari: Cheese cookies are swell! Nice choice, Tsuzurun!

Tsuzuru: But I still gotta find something for the Director. You started all of this, but how about you, Miyoshi-san?

Kazunari: I’m going down the chocolate route! I found some limited edition chocos that look real delicious~!

Omi: I’m also thinking of giving some sweets, but I haven’t decided what to make. Maybe macarons or financier…

Kazunari: Whatever you decide on, since you’re making it yourself, it’ll be delish and it’ll make her happy! Woah, homemade sweets are actually a double-kill!

Kumon: I was thinking about giving the Director something soothing, ‘cause she’s always working so hard!

Izumi: You all look like you’re having fun.

Masumi: Director…

Kumon: Eh, Director!? When did you get here!?

Izumi: Hm? Just now.

Masumi: Did you come to see me?

Izumi: Well, not really. I could hear everyone’s excited voices from the hallway, so I got curious…

Omi: Is that so… Did you hear what we were talking about, then?

Izumi: No, I couldn’t make out what you were saying. What were you talking about?

Sakyo: We were talking about how delicious today’s curry was. …Right?

Kumon: R-Right!

Kazunari: Thanks for making such delicious curry, Director-chan!

Izumi: You’re welcome! I’ll make it again any time, so feel free to let me know whenever you’re craving it.

Omi: Whew… We somehow got out of that.

Tsuzuru: I didn’t expect the Director to suddenly show up. I thought my heart was gonna burst.

Sakyo: If you’re going to continue this conversation, consider lowering your voices.

Kazunari: You heard him! Everyone, let's lower the volume a bit!

Kumon: Got it!

Masumi: Still noisy.

Sakyo: (For now, I’ll listen to what they’ve got to say…)

Sakyo: (The more I listen to them, the harder it gets to pick something…)

-

Sakoda: Good work today too, Aniki!

Sakyo: Yeah…

Sakoda: Aniki… You sound real tired, y’know? I can rub your shoulders! 

Sakyo: No, I’m not that tired.

Sakoda: Eh? But you kinda seem more tired than usual. Actually, it’s more like the wrinkles between your eyebrows are deeper than usual…

Sakoda: Ah! Are ya still trying to find what to get Big Sis for White Day?

Sakyo: … You got that right. No matter what I choose, I feel like it’ll end up being something similar to the others’...

Sakoda: So that’s how it is… Then, how about making your gift something only you can give?

Sakoda: Like, your time!

Sakyo: What’s that supposed to mean?

Sakoda: Exactly what it says on the tin! I’m super happy to get to spend time with you, Aniki!

Sakoda: Just goin' somewhere with you, havin' dinner with you, feels like some kinda special present!

Sakyo: (... Give the Director my time?)

Sakyo: (Go somewhere with her, eat whatever she wants with her… Something like that?)

Sakyo: …

Sakoda: A-Aniki?

Sakyo: … That sounds like a good idea. Thanks, Sakoda.

Sakoda: Aniki…! No problem, this is nothing!

Sakoda: I hope Big Sis likes it! I’ll be rootin' for you!

Sakyo: Yeah, thanks.

part 1 | part 2

NOTES:

(1) i wasn't sure if i should use the eng version's nicknames for sakyo and tsuzuru, so i just went with what i'm most familiar with, out of personal preference, sorry!

(2) i'm not sure if masumi is telling kumon to be quiet or is just complaining about the noise, lol

[never-say-neverwhore]

for the ask game. eulalie. go

yessma'am!

How I feel about this character

Overall, I really like Eulalie's character, and her vibes! I love how she's almost doll-like, and manages to be graceful while also a bit clumsy when it comes to socializing (mood). However, it does sort of bug me how most of the time she's written as only an addition to Berenice (and vise versa), and specifically the less useful of the two. The only time she's really been able to be of help to the group OUTSIDE of the group (/ teaming up with someone (Berenice)) was the end of the first season, where she puts in her two cents about the theory of the afterlife and her support of Lenore, which serves as a tipping point to get the others on board. (10/10 scene btw I fuckin loved it)

I wish she got more time to shine, and really show her strengths more than just a helper / secondary to other characters. Other than that, I do have one more thing that sort of bugs me, which is, funnily enough even though I quite like her design... Her design. Her design is nice, don't get me wrong-- I love the vibes, she's one of my favorite characters to draw. However, considering she's supposed to be Japanese, and comparing her to other characters, it really feels like she sort of just got the anime treatment...? She has these big wide eyes, purple hair (although it's apparently just a stylistic choice, but something that affects her specifically and no one else), and her eyes and eyelashes are more stylized than most the rest of the cast. While that's not bad as itself, I just wish she was given more actual Asian features, or made so that it's a bit clearer that she's Japanese rather than just her Spectre and her last meal (which, to be fair, while it's a Japanese meal, it's a little funny to assume ethnicity based just on foodstuff imo)

Even with all of this, though, I love love LOVE Eulalie, she's probably one of my top 3-4 Nevermore characters, and I'm excited to see how she grows next season!

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Oo fun stuff. Let's see...

Pluto

I find their interactions fun, but honestly what I ship them for is more of what they could be rather than what they are. I like how Pluto's an absolute mess lol, then Eulalie just being the embodiment of :)? I think they could be fun, they deserve to bond more like how they sort of did at the end of the season. Pluto loves etymology, Eulalie loves the afterlife and mythology, there's a large overlap between etymology and mythology, so they should have an autism off about that I think. And smooch a bit maybe.

Berenice

I honestly haven't thought much on them, but I find them really cute! I love how they play off each other, and how just casually affectionate they are with each other. Rather than them being completely whipped for the other (sort of like how Pluto is an absolute mess crushing on Eula), I see them as very down to earth and casual about their relationship, not too flustered over it most the time. They can just casually cuddle and talk about their day, and that's good for them! Honestly talking about them for the first time and yeah. I should draw them, they're cute :]

Annabel Lee

Random curveball, ha! Again with my sentiment with Pluto but blown to the extreme, I like them for what they could be rather than what they are. Seeing as they have a total of 1 tiny interaction lol. Honestly I got drawn into this by some friends on discord, and like... hear me out.

Annabel constantly is on guard, and people only sees what she wants them to see. Everything she does is an act, and she finds being seen in truth by other people terrifying. Eulalie, on the other hand, doesn't hide who she is at all. She's completely honest, almost to a fault, and earnest too. She says what she thinks, and genuinely thinks what she says. She's not afraid of how people think of her or judge her, and as such, she's much less afraid of people than Annabel is. I feel like Annabel, as she's around Eulalie more, could come to really respect and even admire that about her. At first, she's certain, something's going to happen to "make her see reason". However, even when Eulalie's harassed a bit, she bounces back, and she doesn't take it to heart. That really makes Annabel see... wow. She's stronger than her in that way. Yet maybe instead of viewing her as a threat, she finds herself wanting to get closer to her, and see just how she does it.

Eulalie, on the other hand, is simply a curious critter, as one might say. She sees Annabel and goes oo! She seems neat! She has no qualms about talking to her (and apparently messing with her hair lol), and overall is just genuinely curious of What is Up with this lady. She finds Annabel strange, to be honest, in her demeanor. She seems so reserved, yet perfectly put together at the same time. It's almost uncanny, really. She finds it sort of fascinating. As they get closer and closer, maybe Annabel starts to lower her guard a little, and Eulalie goes !! Wow... that's the real her. She's spectacular. I want to see more!

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Another hear me out...

Will!

After the manor arc Eulalie is sort of just like... Will, hon (/p), Blink twice.

No but in all seriousness, again, Eulalie is very close to her friends and wants to protect them. She feels obligated to help them, but not from fear or guilt, but because they're her friends and she wants them safe. Will, meanwhile, likewise feels obligated, and yes, does care about Montresor, but it's more out of fear (both of him, yes, but also abandonment in general). So while Lenore can yell at him till the cows come home about Montresor not actually caring about him, I think Eulalie can help make him realize that friendships should support both sides, not just one, and overall like... man help this man. Free my mans. I find his and Montresor's interactions fascinating don't get me wrong, and he's guilty too Will is not innocent but please. separate these two a little . Except Eula I feel would actually be able to explain it not in a "montresor is using you and is a terrible person" sort of way (even if she thinks that), but in a "this friendship is hurting you more than it's helping" sort of way. Idk

My unpopular opinion about this character

,,,she actually has one of if not my least favorite spectre designs,,, (I love her powers though they're so pretty though) im sorry girl 😭

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I fucking WISH we had gotten a flashback or scene of after Will kinda got um. impaled numerous times by Eulalie lol. Like- since he was in spectre form, he didn't die from that, but since Eulalie's powers iirc allow her revert malevolent spectres, and he's neutral, I dunno if she would've been even able to let him die??? So like... best she can do is remove the lances lol, I'm just curious on how that went down,,, cuz she clearly felt bad, Berenice did too, and then there's Will being self deprecating and also impaled so like. Fun times. I wish we had seen more of what happened there.

[wormytoast]

2.3 graphic! 2.2 graphic here

as always this post is leak free but my blog DOES contain leaks and spoilers, so please mute "#hsr spoilers" and "#hsr leaks" if you don't want to see that stuff <3

Trailblazer will not be considered in these stats because they are a null character.

TYPES

Fire: 7

Ice: 8

Lightning: 7

Wind: 6

Physical: 8

Quantum: 8

Imaginary: 6

Fire is now in the middle of the pack with Lightning while Quantum is boosted to the front with Ice and Physical.

PATHS

Destruction: 9

Erudition: 7

The Hunt: 7

Harmony: 8

Nihility: 9

Preservation: 4

Abundance: 6

Destruction is, once again, tied for most populous path with Nihility (who could've guessed? LOL). Erudition gained one more unit.

RARITY

Limited 5-Star: 23

Standard 5-Star: 7; Overall 5-Star: 30

4-Star: 21

For a second version in a row we did not receive any drip marketing for a new 4-star! I think the absence of one in 2.2 is fair considering the hinting they did with Trailblazer's hat in the live, but what's the reason in 2.3? It's not a big deal regardless but still strange.

OVERLAP

There are now 9 overlaps of unit path/type combinations. Neither Firefly nor Jade are new type/path combinations, although both are new rarities for their combos as well as the first overlapping combos for their respective types. The only type without an overlapping combination is Imaginary.

Fire/Destruction- Hook & Firefly

Quantum/Erudition- Qingque & Jade

Physical/Harmony- Hanya & Robin

Physical/The Hunt- Sushang & Boothill

Ice/Preservation- March 7th & Gepard

Ice/Destruction- Jingliu & Misha

Lightning/Erudition- Serval & Jing Yuan

Lightning/Nihility- Kafka & Acheron

Wind/Nihility- Sampo & Black Swan

Unfulfilled combinations:

Erudition- Wind & Imaginary

The Hunt- Lightning

Preservation- Fire, Wind, Lightning, & Physical

Abundance- Ice

MODELS

F child: 2

F short: 9

F med: 11

F tall: 11

M short: 3

M med: 4

M tall: 10

Wow, two more women in a Hoyo game? I'm so surprised! Seriously though, Jade is the first Quantum unit that has a tall model (all Quantum units up until this point have been F med or F short). Of course this is assuming that Jade has an F tall model but, realistically, her proportions are that of most F tall models so I'd say it's a safe bet. We already know Firefly is an F med model. No love for the boys or the children this version.

I don't feel like repeating old info so I'll try to be quick: Quantum is all women while Imaginary is all men except for Yukong. We have not received a new F child unit since launch (happy one year HSR!).

OVERALL + OTHER THOUGHTS

Not much to say about this update in terms of statistics or units. I'm REALLY hoping we get Sunday by 2.4, but there's also a good chance 2.4 will take us to a previous location to give players a breather from Penacony, so we might need to wait a bit longer for Sunday 🫡

I'm also surprised that we didn't get Screwllum for 2.3 considering they mentioned updating the Simulated Universe in 2.3! Very unfortunate for Screwllum enjoyers.

After Penacony... maybe a Japanese-themed location? We've already got hints of one from both Sparkle and Acheron (although Acheron's home is probably unreachable now...)

Thanks for reading this far if you did! Maybe consider following this account? Or not since this is basically a gacha ramble account LOL

[chaos-grimlin]

hello!

thank you so much for answering my question, im so glad you can do it!

id love to request billy loomis, stu macher x male reader

this is angst because when your sad, what makes you happier than more sadness ?

the song prompt is Tired by beabadoobee!

everything else is up to you <33

ALRIGHTY! Sorry this.took forever! But this os my first time doing a Male reader! Hope i did good!!

Im getting so fucking tired

(Poly!Billy loomis and Stu macher x Male reader)

^^^3rd person POV^^^

The alarm clock blared through the room, the noise banging against the walls.

Y/n slowly sat up, letting a groan of annoyance escape his throat as he did.

Y/n threw his legs over the bed and harshly hit the alarm clock with his hand.

He knew what the alarm clock ment, and he hated it.

It ment hed have to go to the unsafe environment of his school.

He couldn't count how many friends he lost, how many treats he got, all becuase of who he was.

Y/n couldn't help who he was attracted to, yet people still shamed him.

He couldn't help he was both Gay and dating two men.

He was so fucking tired of everyone and everything.

Y/n sat there, burying his head into his hands. He felt like breaking down, like crying and giving up was the only option.

Small tears escaped from tje corners of his eyes as his mind filled with those thoughts.

Those thoughts that creep through his mind at night

The thoughts that would come along when his boyfriends were over

The thoughts that they didnt love him, the thoughts that they would leave him

Y/n took in a deep breath as he ran his fingers through his hair.

He didn't want to go to school..he didn't feel like going through the harassment and the looks.of hate his ex best friends Tatum, Sidney, and randy gave him (i dont believe they'd do that, but for this they do)

It wasnt his fault that Sidenys and Tatumes Boyfriends left them and got with them.

"Why should i even bother?" He thought as he picked up a clean t shirt, but then threw it back down

He didnt see a point in going..why go if you cant focus on learning, but instead focusing on if theyll finally go through with their threats and kill you?

Y/n flopped back down onto his bed. Laying down and staring up at the ceiling, as those thoughts raced through his head, overlapping each other, till, he broke.

Tears flowed from his eyes. He didn't feel like enough, he wasn't enough....

He laid in his bed and cried, feeling his body shake as he rolled over to his side.

It wasnt fair!

It wasnt fair that all the other students were normal!

Y/n laid there for so long, crying.to himself so badly to the point he didn't hear the knocking on his window.

After 5 minutes, y/n heard someone rapidly beating on his window.

Y/n felt his heart stop, what if they found him and planned to make it look like he did it.

Y/n slowly stood up, letting his feet slowly hit the floor, till he stood up and peaked at his window.

He felt his heart flutter at the sight of his two boyfriends, but something pained him, they looked worried.

Y/n slowly moved to tje window and used his shakey hands to open the window.

"OH THANK GOD YOUR ALIVE" Stu screeched as he practially threw himself threw the window while Billy played off like he wasnt worried.

Stu stumbled a bit before he grabbed Y/n and pulled him to his chest. "Your okayyy" Stu said excitedly "no one said he was hurt dumbass" Billy huffed out as he pushed Stu off of Y/n .

"Asshole" Stu muttered.

Billy looked down at Y/n, before grabbing hos chin with his hand. "Have yiu been crying?" Billy asked, running his thumb across y/ns lower eye lid, wiping away a few stray tears

"No" y/n answered quickly as he pulled his face away from Billy and wiped his eyes before flashing a smile.

Stu frowned as he bent down slightly and.looked into your eyes.

Stu and Billy both grabbed onto each of his hands and sat him down onto his bed.

"Why were you crying?" Billy asked, although it sounded more like a demand more then a ask.

Y/n looked from Billy to Stu, there saddened expressions made his eyes water.

"Im so fucking tired of being diffrent" y/n choked out.

Billy cocked an eyebrow up. " how are you diffrent?" Stu asked, rubbing y/ns hand.

"Im with you two" he said, his voice going quiet.

Billy looked offended and Stus mouth fell agape.

"Do you not.want to be with us?" Stu asked, as he looked at him like a kicked puppy.

Y/n felt his already shattered heart break even more at Stus expression.

"I do wanna be with you guys..i just hate the harassment" y/n said

"Harassment?" Billy asked as he looked from Stu to Y/n.

"Yeah.." Y/n muttered wiping his eyes.

"We never knew about any harassment" Billy said, hos eyes going cold.

"Who?" Stu asked, his goofiness and sadness leabing his body as his veins pulsed with rage.

"Everyone..."

"You won't have to worry about them anymore" Billy said as he pulled y/n to his chest.

Stu reached out and rubbed y/ns back.

"It'll all be okay.. Anyone who messes with you will feel our wrath" billy said as he placed a kiss to his forehead.

And with that Kiss

Billy sealed the promise that he and Stu would murder ANYONE who hurt him

[pb-dot]

Sliding into yr asks to request an infodump about His Impossible Brushstrokes now that I know there's Rivals-to-Lovers and Horror. I heard that treat tin shake from 15 blocks away.

I am simplifying a bit when I say Rivals-to-Lovers, it is essentially One-sided admiration both ways -> Awkward politeness -> Something More? -> Wait a minute something's wrong here -> [SPOILER EXPUNGED] -> Night Of Terror -> Rallying -> Fight to the death pt. 1 -> Uneasy Alliance -> Genuine (?) Love? -> [SPOILER EXPUNGED] -> Fight to the death pt. 2 -> [SPOILER EXPUNGED]

I suppose everything between "something's wrong here" and the end can pretty much be collapsed into a Rivals To Lovers arc, although the precise emotions in play at any given time is... more implicit than explicit let's just say.

This is perhaps all getting ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning:

Oscar Skerry is a San Francisco Art Critic with a singular artistic obsession. He loves the strange, bleak and jagged paintings of one Tomasz Gildebrant, a Polish-Dutch autodidact artist, at least he's assumed to be an autodidact, as nobody can find any documentation for his education. There's actually precious little known about Gildebrant, as he has not made a public appearance for decades, and the only a handful of photographs prove his existence.

Gildebrant's art isn't particularly popular, given how unpleasant many of his paintings are to watch in obscure but tangible ways, but a small community of fans, as well as the allure of his mystery, keeps getting his paintings sold. There might, however, be something more to it. Skerry follows a thread of brutal violence and odd obsession that seem to follow the Gildebrant paintings, and in stepping over a fair few ethical lines himself, he even secures an invitation from Gildebrant himself, to join him in his home in the Romanian mountains.

Once he finally meets the artist behind his obsession near the top of the Carpathian alps, Oscar can't quite get himself to believe that this refined, gregarious man produces art so bleak it is on occasion described as Depression Put On Canvas, but still, under the overwhelming almost-romantic friendliness, something else lurks. Try as he might, Oscar can't help but notice the cracks in the facade. Why are there so many different pairs and sizes of mountain boots at the entrance? What secret does the Gildebrant basement hold? Why does every door in the house lock automatically at midnight? Oscar simply must know, but what he will do, what he even could do, with the knowledge Gildebrant's house and mind contains, remains to be seen.

Oh shit, I almost forgot. The above isn't even the first time Oscar gotten himself into an antagonism-into-love situation. It's how he met his best frenemy, Mara. They met just after he moved from Minnesota where he grew up and went to University, and started hating each other in the most heteroerotic way possible just about right away. Oscar would belittle Mara, who in retaliation, or just because she felt like it, expose his parochial origins, mock his pretensions, or just throw shit at him. Things grew a bit messier, but much more interesting when Mara came to realize that Oscar had, and still has, a pronounced masochistic streak, and their relationship took a turn for the sexual. Hate-fucking turned into a more amicable sort of slap-and-tickle, and before they knew it, Mara and Oscar both had come to regard each others as whatever you call the overlap between friends, fuckbuddies, and rivals. Whatever you might call it, Mara and Oscar are still very close, and she provides much commentary on Oscar's ongoing descent into obsession in the earlier act of the book.

As for the status of this whole thing, the first draft is finished, but work on it is on a temporary hiatus as I do a final legibility pass on my previous work, The Clockwork Boy (which sadly contains no rivals-to-lovers at present,) but if you want to keep abreast of the developments when I start up working on HIB again, do feel free to check out my Tag List Post

[ohblackdiamond]

Hi there!

I am getting into the Kiss fandom and I was wondering if you answer some questions.

No.1 What are the biggest memes of this fandom?

No.2 What are some things that are universally known to the kiss fandom but to anyone outside the fandom is complete bs

No.3 What are some things about the people in the fandom. From what I gather yall are horny af

No pressure btw :)

hello! i'd be glad to!

i don't know that there are really big memes if only because kissblr is relatively small, but here are some of my favorite funny posts: the random fanfic, why kiss will never get along, losing it, virgin paul vs. chad ace, virgin gene vs. chad peter,

i don't know about the complete bs part, but as close as kiss fandom gets to universal truths that outside of our sphere, no one knows much about, i guess, would be: eric carr is a good boy who deserved better, the only things anyone that was ever in kiss can agree on is that they were in kiss, and gene has herpes. well, i guess his thousands of women are probably aware there, too.

i'd say the age range on kissblr is broader than what you'll see on tumblr in general with a fair amount of people skewing 30+, although i'd estimate the average person on kisslbr is probably closer to 20ish. it is a pretty horny fandom! the dominating ships are OGs-- you'll see more ace/paul, gene/paul, etc. (paul is the fandom bicycle, followed, probably, by ace), but there's a pretty fair smattering of non-OG ship content around, too, which is nice. you get outside of kissblr and there's ao3, which, honestly, has a huge amount of overlap with kissblr (it's basically the same people on both sites). get outside of kissblr/ao3 and you find, well, youtube, kissfaq, reddit, etc., which veer much, much more critical. people definitely have their favorites on kissblr and while there's analysis, it tends to be more to do with relationships and sexy pictures than with guitars or what-was-the-band-doing-here or is-gene's-hair-real or anything like that. to this day, no one's done a serious thesis on paul's pants-stuffing and whether it's like skirt hemlines and rises and falls with the economy, which saddens me.

i hope that was at least a bit helpful! let me know if you have any other questions, i love to talk about kiss.

[degloved]

we're never getting reputation (taylor's version) and here's why:

1. the color-coding

taylor's discography is very obviously and deliberately color-coded, each album strongly associated with a particular color or shade. although there is some overlap (1989's light blue vs midnights' dark blue), the variations are distinct enough to avoid any confusion between them. in that sense, b&w is an extremely inflexible color assignment, on account of not being... well, not a color. b&w is b&w (not to be confused with folklore's grey; monochrome ≠ b&w), there aren't exactly many (or any, as it were) ways to stretch that palette to the extent it'd successfully take on an identity (album) of its own. which i believe blondie is aware of, and on that basis i believe it was a deliberate choice. and why? it's not as though she'd exhausted all of her options. there are colors she has yet to use, as well as different shades, tones, and tints of already used colors that would've been just as viable. why take this extremely particular and inflexible palette and, essentially, risk shifting that association from one album to another? unless she wasn't risking anything.

2. the pre-ttpd announcement period

as is customary for her, in the weeks before the official announcement of ttpd, all of taylor's social medias began taking on a b&w color scheme. the same had happened with purple and speak now (taylor's version), with light blue and 1989 (taylor's version), so on and so forth. a kind of unique mass-hysteria ensued as all signs pointed to reputation (taylor's version.) as it turned out, every last one of us was wrong in that assumption. if reputation (tv) were to drop, she'd have to go the b&w route again—which, for one, would in this case be predictable (we got bamboozled once, no way is it happening again) and that's very much not her style; and for two... there'd be no novelty. doing the same bit twice, really? not her!

3. the themes of reputation

reputation centered two core concepts: joe & falling out of public favor. a "good" thing and a "bad" thing. this would remain true for several years after the fact, yet no longer is—instead having turned into two "bad" things. i would not blame her if she chose not to return to this notably awful period of her life by way of re-recording, especially given the fact that the thing—person—that was once a shining star in all that proverbial darkness simply blends into the void with the way things are now. and while, yes, she had re-recorded songs about her exes, she'd only done so after a long while has passed. not only was this the longest relationship she's ever had and therefore likely uniquely devastating, the breakup itself is also very recent.

4. the contrast and the timing

and continuing the last point, only last year she'd dropped a couple devastating songs about this relationship on midnights, followed by more than a fair share of them on ttpd. doubtless she's still moving on/healing (judging by ttpd); i simply do not see her delving into an album that'd dredge up all those memories of the good times, the better times—not to mention that ttpd and rep are as antithetical to each other as it gets. if she'd recorded lover any earlier and had no ownership of it, for very similar reasons i wouldn't believe she'd re-record that one either.

4. the ttpd logo (NOT!!! my finding!)

now i never put much stock into this when i first saw it, as whoever had found it had taken it to mean "yay reputation (tv) soon!" and i simply did not agree. i actually thought it was a really freaky coincidence. bc, c'mon. let's be serious. however, i did realize it sort of fits remarkably well into my "ttpd is replacing rep because ttpd is reputation (taylor's version) in fewer words."

5. thanK you aIMee

kim? we're talking about kim now? who was maybe relevant around the year 2017? around the release of rep? oh. okay. i'm sure that means nothing

but that's just a theory... a game theory.

[paranatura-verse]

Obscure design details for the Solfege and the Ragdolls?

(I think I know who your favourites might be djkjds)

I'll start with the Ragdolls as they're relatively quick, especially compared to the Solfege. Although their designs are simple, they each have designs features that relate to either their personality or location; Satin's dress is neat and frilly as she lives in a dressmaker's desk. Quilt helps tend to the royal gardens and has a flower attached to her head. Denim wears a little bowtie, representing their high-class attitude and love of parties. Ripstop is a rough and tumble adventurer, so has a zipper along his chest to store useful tools or things he finds.

The Solfege are under the cut as there's a fair bit of rambling for them👀

Each Aspect of the Solfege has an epithet, and a large portion of their design is based around this epithet, along with their personality.

Do - The Flame. Her hair is half-shaved and spiky, to look like (very) stylised fire. The ragged hem of her skirt is styled in a similar way. Her outfit is made up of mismatched pieces, representing her uncertainty as de facto leader and lack of secure identity.

Re - The Sword. His bangs are styled to resemble the crossguard of his sword form, and the pattern of his jumpsuit is loosely based on his sword form, with the arms and upper torso representing the cross guard, and his legs and abdomen the blade (the jewel on his chest becomes the jewel on his pommel). His clothes are the most covering, fitting for the most reserved Aspect. He does feel his only identity is being that sword, after all.

Mi - The Knight. Dressed in the traditional knight aesthetic, although their arms and feet are bare as they technically don't need the armour, it's mostly for show. Their left arm guard doubles as a shield, with lots of spiky parts on their armour to invoke their dangerous side.

Fa - The Wild. She resembles a satyr (albeit with deer legs rather than those of a goat), both to bring animals and nature to mind, and to help her stand out amongst her fellow Aspects as the hermit of the group, rarely seen in civilisation. The hem of her top is slightly ragged, to emphasise her rough and wild nature, although her clothing is still clean, indicating some time spent in the company of others.

So - The Shield. As the most gentle and peaceful of the Aspects, she is a very soft shade of blue, with a long, flowing dress. Although it appears quite modest her arms are still exposed, to show despite her reserved demeanour she is still open and honest with her loved ones. Her hair frames her face, covering her forehead and cheeks as if shielding them, like her protective barriers.

La - The Scourge. A fierce fighter, his sharp horns are an immediate indicator for his threatening demeanour. He goes shirtless as he is confident and proud in his strength and abilities. His earrings, necklace and the cuffs around his ankles resemble those worn by local monks, as they have inspired his efforts to attain an inner peace.

Ti - The Orphic. As the most attention-seeking and (as far as he's concerned) beautiful Aspect, he has the longest and biggest hair of the group. The shortest Aspect, he stands on his tiptoes most of the time to try and appear taller.

Many of their design traits can be seen in their original combined form, Solfège proper. Predominantly monochromatic as they contain all colours, with eyes, earrings and an emblem in the seven colours of the Aspects. Solfège has long, flowing hair like Ti and Fa, with the legs of the latter, the horns of La, an X-shaped strap across their torso with a gemstone in the centre, similar to Re's jumpsuit, a flowing cloak like So's dress (but with a ragged hem like Do and Fa's clothes), and overlapping shoulderpads reminiscent of Do's overlapping top, and they carry a large arm shield like Mi. The similarities are loose, as it's a single being split into seven who each represent one small part, but you can see traits of each Aspect within Solfège.

[apigeonisapigeon]

Arson and Other Fires: Worldbuilding II

This will make a bit more sense if you read Worldbuilding I, but I'm not your boss.

Second Generation humans are the descendants of an original group genetically modified for physical strength, along with resistance to variations in gravity, atmospheric makeup, environmental contaminants, and other illnesses.

Third Generation humans are the descendants of an original group genetically modified to have psychic powers. These are sorted, somewhat arbitrarily, into five broad categories: 

Healer: A catch-all term for people who can psychically manipulate other people's bodies — they can do things other than heal, but are called "healers" because that's the only legal way to use their powers. They also make very effective assassins and hitmen. Because using this ability safely takes very extensive training, most healers don't use it at all or only for very basic first aid, although some who failed out of formal training go on to work as black market doctors.

Hollow: Hollows can absorb emotions, sensations, and/or physical characteristics from other people. They can, for instance, cure someone else's fever by absorbing that fever themselves, or act as temporary pain relief. Some are better with physical characteristics, others with emotions, and a handful can even take memories, but they can't, for instance, regrow a missing limb and lose their own in exchange. Draining physical sensations and emotions usually only lasts as long as the Hollow is deliberately absorbing it from their target, while absorbing physical traits tends to be more permanent — if they absorb a fracture, the Hollow has to wait for it to heal the regular way, while the person they absorbed it from is fracture-free.

Soother: Soothers are a form of telepath; they can influence others' minds, but can only actually sense their thoughts or emotions in very, very rare cases — they can make someone feel calm, or angry, or happy; they can suppress or alter memories or implant new ones. Strong soothers and mental-leaning Hollows have a fair bit of overlap and the division between the two is in some cases purely taxonomical, while in others, they get to the same result through different methods.

Chameleon: Chameleons exert a form of mild telepathy which makes it difficult for others to perceive them. This is usually most effective if they're not doing anything to make themselves more obtrusive, like wearing bright colours or talking. For some chameleons, this is effect is constant and largely or completely unconscious; for others, it's something they trigger deliberately.

Intuit: Intuits have a instinctive but generally non-specific sense of the (usually immediate) future, which in-universe scholars argue is probably a form of mild telepathy where they pick up, in a very latent way, on others' emotions or intent; intuit powers tend not to be particularly useful in situations that don't involve other people.

[biblioflyer]

How Picard should end.

The very probable end of The Next Generation is coming and with it the beginning of the end of the first phase of the revival of Star Trek that began with Discovery. Here's what I'm thinking about.

As I write this, the final episodes of Season Three, the series, and perhaps even this sub-franchise are coming into view. I refer to it as a sub-franchise because I think that Picard as a series has a storytelling approach and a set of themes that it has explored that overlap with Discovery but also has its own identity.

Because of the age of many of the principal characters, there has been a strong theme of having to adjust with grace and empathy to a world radically changed from what was normal and comfortable to you, having to acknowledge your complicity in the faults you find in this world, and of repairing relationships that have been harmed. 

Immersing myself in where Picard has been as a series, even just the first four episodes to date, has given me a strong sense of what it is that Picard is about and thus some strong, but not pugnaciously held opinions on how it should end. The failure to do any of the following will not “ruin” the series for me, although the alternatives better be really well done.

For the first time of the CBS era, I actually really feel strongly that my own aesthetics could be defied and I will still really enjoy the outcome. For example I despise the trope that Jack Crusher represents but the trope has been so superbly executed that I’m almost annoyed at how completely I’m in his corner.

Speaking of Jack Crusher….

I would strongly prefer he not be written off as a space god or killed. For one, this is just Wesley’s arc duplicated. For two, while “NuTrek” is doing a great job at moderating the setting’s default posture that transhumanism is bad, it feels too cliche and even cheap in a way for him to vanish into the aether. Let him live, as a mortal, trying to do right by all of the people who fought and died for him not because he was a space god, but because it was right. 

We’ve had three seasons of intense focus on the deeds of mortal and fallible individuals struggling to know what is right in a morally complicated universe, taking huge risks, and even sacrificing stability, family, love, peace, sobriety, and even their own lives: don’t end this with space magic. Don’t do another “space magic makes it all better so nobody really ever had skin in the game” ending.

Speaking of Wesley, having the two meet would provide a nice bit of closure for Beverly. It would bookend nicely with her line about already having lost one son to the same stars that call Jean luc.

Seven of Nine & Raffi

On again or off again, just pick a lane and make them handle it like adults.

As I’ve said before, I see two equally valid paths for Seven assuming it's handled properly. Seven can remain in Starfleet, her acceptance earned and her merits recognized by all but especially by Shaw. Ideally were this to be the case, I think I would like to see her take up Picard’s mantle of mentor to misfits.

There isn’t a character who is better positioned narratively in this series to become the person who sees something in people that others don’t and can find ways to take the round hole that is Starfleet and make it a square hole for the people who need it.

Or she can walk away and reclaim her full autonomy. Go back to the Fenris Rangers or go into Starfleet Intelligence.

As for Raffi, the past two seasons have intensely focused on the work the character was doing to first recover from addiction and then reclaim her mental health and with that the ability to have relationships without either her need to chase mysteries or the desire for control alienating those around her. It's time for Raffi’s work to be seen by others and to be supported. 

In the first season it was entirely fair for her son to refuse contact: she was too much a creature of her substance abuse and her obsessiveness. Now? Cut her some slack and let her show that she’s mastered the thing that makes her the hero no one is prepared to recognize that they need until it's too late but also makes her the villain in her own life.

I would merrily support a Worf & Raffi spy action buddy cop series. Seven, Jack, Laris, and anyone else unaccounted for who is not really a good fit for traditional ship service can come too if they want. A Star Trek answer to Firefly or The Expanse would be incredibly fascinating with good writing. Given the way Star Trek Picard has been critiquing the limits of institutional power in dealing with the unknown or morally complicated situations, I think the time is right. 

Perhaps this could be the Section 31 series instead of a 23rd century era one. Just have the Guardian of Forever send Georgiou to where she’s needed rather than where she belongs. She’d be a great foil for Zen Worf and the morally flexible but not that morally flexible Raffi.

Section 31 are bad guys, full stop.

Speaking of Section 31, either confirm that Section 31 has been disbanded and formally disavowed or that it had its Church Committee hearings and been folded back into Starfleet Intelligence with strong oversight and strong guard rails. Putting Worf and Raffi front and center in it would afford an opportunity to show that it is possible to address existential threats to the Federation without genocide or the intervention of space gods. 

It's really only been after seeing Discovery recycle the same deus ex ending, only worse, that I have come to realize that the way Deep Space Nine finished the Dominion War arc really, really rubs me the wrong way. My list of things that I think are completely antithetical to the core assumptions of Star Trek is not long, but the Federation being saved not once, but twice by attempted genocide is definitely on that list. 

Don’t get me wrong, Deep Space Nine is probably the most overall well executed series from the point of view of nearly every aspect of the show being consistently competent, but falling back on Section 31 to save the Federation? Not a fan of that.

Romance

I am not on the Bev/JL train. It had its time. For all the ways that Star Trek Picard has been in conversation with critiques of TNG’s very 1990s “end of history” worldview, one thing that was superbly managed was the idea that Beverly and Jean luc could try out a romance, realize it doesn’t work, and then be content with a strong bond that doesn’t need to express itself romantically. It was incredibly, shockingly mature for a 1990s drama.

This show did not kill off Zhabon and an ancestor of Laris for Laris to be killed off or to politely step aside.

Maybe Bev is happy being unpartnered. How about them apples? Maybe a senior woman is perfectly self actualized on her own and can take or leave romance.

This is probably one of the looming plot resolutions I am the most likely to be actually angered by if it doesn’t go the way I would prefer and it isn’t handled extremely well.

Once again, do not fridge Laris to make room for Beverly. 

That would easily make my list of the top five most appalling creative decisions of this show and this is coming from someone who has invested quite a bit of effort into defending and rationalizing its other controversial decisions. Having her step aside with her life and dignity is less distasteful but still frustrating.

The Federation and Shaw

Follow through with the overall theme from season one that institutions solve big problems but rules are not there to follow mindlessly. Conscience matters as does doing the right thing even when you are fearful. 

It may not be fair to ask 500 people to risk their lives for four people who have deliberately chosen to put themselves in harm’s way on a fool’s errand, but then when does it become fair? Does it have to be 501 lives on the line to be worth 500? How morally virtuous do the victims need to be? 

Smaller, more nimble actors don’t have to make these trades. The Mugato in the room is the Maquis. They could easily have provoked war but they did also provide a means by which Federation citizens who wanted their autonomy could contest Cardassian oppression without exposing the Federation to the specter of war  if the Federation failed to ensure their well being.

Also when and if a bad call is made out of anger, fear, or incomplete knowledge of the situation, how the consequences of that decision are addressed matter.

The Federation abandoned the Romulans. As did Picard himself. Picard accepted responsibility in Season One. The Federation extended its protection over Maddox & Soong’s Synth colony but there’s no mention of any peacekeeping or humanitarian efforts for Romulans who have rejected “the old ways.”

Finally, Shaw has his reasons and this series has been nothing if not incredibly nuanced in how it invokes trauma and uses it in a way to explain but not justify the behavior of characters. A theme I have thought about a lot in the context of Captain Marvel is the way that coping mechanisms for trauma often encourage self reliance and aloofness to the extreme. In Shaw’s own words “at some point asshole became a substitute for charm.” I would argue that the final stage of healing would be to become a team player who is capable of forging authentic relationships built on mutual trust and respect.

Now I do think this is coming in the form of a sincere working relationship with Seven but I would prefer it be extended beyond Seven. For Shaw to accept Seven as Seven is a good start but everyone is capable of accepting “one of the good ones.” Some sort of broader recognition that it's on him to swallow his terror and rage, it's not on every single XB to prove they’re not going to assimilate him.

Other characters / elements

BBEG: (Big Bad Evil Guy) I don’t know that I’m necessarily hoping for anything or anyone in particular. Armus would be cool. He’s one of the last entities on the board with an axe to grind who could conceivably be a credible menace to Changelings and shares some of their mercurial nature. 

The alien parasites would be neat as well. That that has long gone unresolved is a longstanding gripe but I feel like the time may have passed. Thematically the Changelings have more or less eaten their lunch when it comes to replacing people and intricate conspiracies. At this point, I think it would be just as well to retcon the infiltrators as having been an early effort by the Changelings to infiltrate other societies without exposing themselves to danger. The Founders certainly have the genetic engineering acumen to design a parasite species.

Elnor: at least mention him as existing, if not give the character some proper closure. Show him thriving in Starfleet and having a good relationship with Picard and Raffi as mentors and surrogate parents, explicitly connect Picard’s experiences with Elnor as a child and his effort to repair his relationship with Elnor as having been a practice run for Jack and the recognition that Jean luc would not have been his father as a parent.

Or show him choosing to leave Starfleet for the Rangers or even just to lead a quiet life of study and meditation. That’s cool too.

Jiurati: if the big bad is the Borg or related to them somehow, it would be cool to see Jiurati’s faction sweep in to help defeat them. Otherwise maybe one more reference would be nice.

The Admiral Janeway cameo is long overdue.

It would be nice for Worf to mention Alexander and Jadzia. Perhaps in the context of giving advice to Raffi on love, life, pursuing rapprochement after being an absentee parent, and living with the knowledge that your life choices place partners in existential danger. It would be a great way to cement their dualistic role this season rather than having Raffi be Worf’s sidekick.

Don’t fridge Tuvok. Find him safely.

Oh yeah, there's also JL himself.

We don't need to have Picard die on screen (again.) As far as I'm concerned Logan is all I'll ever need for Patrick Stewart death scenes. Its just too hard to contemplate. I consider the character of Picard to be a father figure and I'd kind of just prefer that he gets to be happy. I'd like for him to get good with Elnor and Jack.

"I tried so very hard to belong to this place."

Maybe pass the vineyard on as a national park that is Picard in name only. We all know his real home is in the stars. Putting him to work leading a Romulan humanitarian NGO that relies on his Starfleet contacts and credibility is I think the perfect bookend to how the series began with his despair over the Federation's failure and the ongoing interrogation of whether Starfleet is the only legitimate or appropriate entity for solving problems in the universe.

[utilitycaster]

I know this is a broad question, but do you have any thoughts/metas youd like to share on the Honour Among Thieves movie that you havnt already? Any unpopular opinions? I personally thought they did brilliantly with adapting RAW to a more structured linear story that made it easy to follow and also make sense within the world and story, especially for those unfamiliar with the crunchy mechanics. If not, then feel free to ignore!

I'll probably say some more stuff eventually; the reason I can write so much CR meta so quickly is that at this point I'm pretty fluent with the characters and I spend a significant amount of time like, cross-checking the transcript each week, but for anything else chances are it needs to bounce around in my head for some amount of time.

I guess I said this before I saw it in response to an earlier question, but I'll double down now that I have: I did not think they should have had explicit actual play cameos/references nor required any mechanics knowledge (which they did not!) I fully agree with the intentions the movie had: to use a fantasy lexicon and story structure that's immediately recognizable to people who are familiar with D&D (and even more so to those familiar with Forgotten Realms), but is completely accessible to some random person who just wants to watch a fantasy movie. I had a great time as an adult who's been playing D&D for some time, but I think I would have had a great time if I'd seen this exact movie as a teen nerd with no experience with TTRPGs whatsoever. Like...wanting CR cast cameos or more obvious D&D mechanics references feels like wanting a gold star for "getting" it and like, man, can't you just have fun for a bit? Get some concession snacks and enjoy yourself.

It's sort of comparable to TLOVM. In D&D 5e as played, we understand that Keyleth, Pike, Vex, and Scanlan all have access to healing capabilities (and that it's good to have overlap within the party). In a show with far, far less time than the luxurious hundreds of hours of actual play and the visible gears and wires of mechanics, you simplify and have the characters specialize. What's important is that you tell a good story that feels like the stories that come about through playing D&D, not that you adhere to mechanics precisely.

My only other major opinion at this time is that if you are playing around with the idea this is a D&D game (and to be clear I'm totally for that as fanon, I just think it should never be established in the film), Xenk is 100% an NPC who briefly travels with the party, not a drop-in PC, although to be fair paladins are just kind of Like That.

[galaxystiel]

put up your hands (say i don’t wanna be in love) 

Written for @sterekweekly for the prompt ‘midnight’.

Summary: Stiles had even made dessert, a (slightly lopsided) coconut rum cake, knowing Derek had a sweet tooth he would never admit to. A little more effort than Stiles would normally go to, but he’d figured if he couldn’t push the boat out for their anniversary, then when could he? Teen | 2.3k

[Read on AO3]

--

Stiles counted along with the clock, the second hand ticking ever closer to twelve. Five, four, three, two…

Midnight.

Dinner had gone cold hours ago, the remains of his mom’s lasagna a congealed mess in the dish at the centre of their table. Small, battery-operated tea lights that were barely aglow now. Pinpricks of light, like little fireflies surrounding a failed disaster of a dinner date. While Derek had never said anything about a disdain for open flames indoors, Stiles had thought it was better safe than sorry, and this was a nice compromise. Romantic atmosphere without the fire hazard or a mess of molten wax.

He’d even made dessert, a (slightly lopsided) coconut rum cake, knowing Derek had a sweet tooth he would never admit to. A little more effort than Stiles would normally go to, but he’d figured if he couldn’t push the boat out for their anniversary, then when could he?

But Derek hadn’t come home at all.

Stiles finally dragged his eyes away from the clock and let his shoulders slump. He wasn’t angry. It wasn’t fair to blame Derek for being busy at work. It’s not like Stiles had told him that he was going to try and do something special. Although Derek had promised he’d be home for dinner.

It wasn’t a lie, Stiles told himself. Derek had obviously intended to come home on time. Something must have just come up. Something so clearly important that meant he couldn’t even call. Right? Right.

He wasn’t angry. He was just tired and a little bit humiliated. Clearly, he’d put a little more—not value, that wasn’t the right word, he knew Derek valued him—sentiment, yeah, behind their anniversary than was reciprocated. Which was, not fine, not even expected but it was… yeah. It was what it was.

Something ached deep in Stiles’ chest and the chair scraped back against the floor as he scooped up all of the tea lights in hands that were totally not shaking, fingers that were absolutely, completely steady as he found their off switches. He tossed them in the trash can and then, upon thinking about Derek potentially finding them, crumpled a few paper towels and stuffed them on top.

Dessert was still in the fridge and the lasagna joined it, carefully wrapped in foil. No point in letting it go to waste, maybe Derek could take it to the station tomorrow and share it with the Sheriff. It wasn’t the healthiest of meals, but hey, his dad was allowed a cheat day every now and then, particularly when his son was suffering from a broken heart.

“Okay, enough,” Stiles muttered, waggling his fingers in front of his face. Broken heart, seriously? “You’re being pathetic, Stiles. It’s just freakin’ dinner. Derek loves you the other three hundred sixty four days of the year. There shouldn’t be anything important about this one.”

Except, there kinda was? This marked a year to the day they’d first admitted how great they could be together, and put their absolute trust in each other as their relationship had taken the next step. Stiles had just wanted to commemorate that. Even just seeing Derek for more than the ten minutes they’d overlapped at breakfast, before Derek’s shift started. He refused to feel bad that he wanted a little more than that, just for today.

Weariness took over, and Stiles abandoned his cleaning up of the kitchen in favour of making his way to the bed he and Derek had shared for six months now. He stopped abruptly in the doorway and swayed, looking at the rumpled sheets and feeling his lip quiver. Suddenly, the thought of spending the night in their bed alone seemed like the most awful thing he could imagine. A shaky exhale left his lips, and then Stiles turned abruptly on his heel, bounding back down the stairs and snatching his keys from the sea glass bowl near the front door.

Roscoe seemed to know he wasn’t in the mood for her games tonight, engine roaring to life at the simple flick of his wrist. He drove, trying to force the buzzing thoughts in his head to quieten down as he followed the trail of street lamps. Even under their glow, the world looked awash with grey. Colourless, lifeless, numb.

Stiles kind of knew the feeling.

He didn’t really have a destination in mind, but when he found himself idling outside of his childhood home, he supposed he’d probably known where he was heading the whole time. The sight of the cruiser was both welcome and unwelcome, and Stiles rested his head against the steering wheel, taking a deep breath.

When he let himself in with a key he barely used anymore, he was greeted with the sight of his dad halfway out of the living room, summoned by the sound of the door.

“Stiles? It’s almost one in the morning, what the hell are you doing here?”

“Dad,” Stiles choked, and then he was falling forward into strong arms, and tears were stinging his eyes but he wouldn’t let them fall, he wouldn’t cry. Not over this. He inhaled, long fingers grasping the back of his dad’s shirt, holding him tightly.

Distantly, Stiles registered that if his dad was still in uniform, he couldn’t have been home long. His theory had been right. Something had cropped up on duty that kept both his dad and Derek later than planned. Usually, he’d be bugging one of them to find out what happened, but right now Stiles didn’t care. Because he realized that if his dad was home, Derek was probably on his way too, and would discover Stiles’ absence at any moment.

“Can I just stay here tonight? Please?” He hated how soft and pleading his voice came out. Hated that he couldn’t handle this like an adult and face his problems head on.

But his dad held him just that little bit tighter and Stiles could have wept with relief.

“Of course you can, son, you never have to ask. Didn’t take your key, did I? The bed’s always made up for you.” He pulled back and his face went through three different expressions of reluctance before he asked, “You break up with Derek?”

Stiles’ breath caught in his throat, and the words came out thickly. “No.” He shook his head. “No, of course not. I just—can we not do this now, dad? Can’t it be enough that I’m mad at him right now and I want to stay here tonight?”

“Of course it can. Go on, get some sleep, kid.”

Stiles mumbled something that was both thanks and a goodnight and trudged his way up the stairs. The sheets didn’t smell right, now he’d gotten used to the unscented fabric softener that Derek preferred, and they were a little musty from disuse. That, together with the rampant emotions thrumming in every part of his chest, suggested that sleep would be a long time coming.

But almost as soon as Stiles closed his eyes, the world faded to nothing.

 * * * 

He wasn’t sure what woke him up.

It was still dark, so he hadn’t been asleep long. There was no clock by his bedside anymore, a reminder that this familiar bed wasn’t where he should be waking up.

His eyes flicked to the window out of habit, and he watched as it began to close, slowly and silently. Stiles squinted blearily into the darkness, but he couldn’t make out anything more than a shadow outside his window. But that was enough.

“Derek,” he whispered. The window stopped moving, little more than three inches between the sash and the sill. The silence was deafening, and for a moment Stiles held his breath, wondering if a reply would come at all.

“I was just making sure you were here.” Derek’s voice was quiet, and Stiles couldn’t even convince himself that it was out of consideration for the late hour. Even beyond that, he could hear the misery in every syllable. “You weren’t supposed to wake up. I know you don’t want to see me right now, but I—I just needed to know you were somewhere safe.”

Stiles sat up, wrapped the top blanket around himself and shuffled over to the window. He didn’t open it, just sat on the floor, his cheek pressed to the jamb. He could feel the light presence of air drifting through the gap. It wasn’t particularly cold, but Stiles shivered anyway.

“I should have left a note,” he said eventually. “It wasn’t my intention to make you worry.”

The reply that came was filled with bitterness and self-loathing. “I could say the same. I should have called. I should have been home,” Derek corrected himself. “I saw—I found—I’m sorry.”

The words didn’t heal the wounds the evening had left deep within Stiles’ chest, but they were a stepping stone. This was Derek reaching out, and now it was up to Stiles to meet him halfway. He reached up, fingers scrabbling as he pushed the window upwards, opening it fully. His motions were far less quiet than Derek’s, but he didn’t care.

He shuffled back as one leg stepped inside the window, followed by another, and then Derek’s head ducked through. His face was drawn, visible even when half-shrouded in shadow. There was tension in every line of his body and he made no move to enter the room further, just hovered by the window as if he would be made to leave at any moment.

And hell if that didn’t sweep the air from Stiles’ lungs. After all this time, Derek should never be unsure of his welcome. Not with him.

His fingers curled into the knee of Derek’s grey sweatpants and he tugged lightly enough to make his point clear. He acquiesced instantly, legs folding beneath him as they both settled on the floor. Even though Derek didn’t need it, Stiles loosened his grip on the blanket and haphazardly threw a corner around Derek’s shoulders.

“I didn’t forget.” When Stiles looked nonplussed, Derek clarified, “The date. I know you think I did, but you’re wrong. There’s a card in the Camaro. It has a stupid pun on it. I thought it would make you laugh.”

It probably would have. Stiles would have been delighted at Derek’s attempt at humour. He would have probably had it framed, to hang in their bedroom for years to come.

“That helps,” Stiles admitted. “But it doesn’t make everything better. I felt, no, I feel like an idiot for caring so much about this. And it’s ridiculous because I knew who you were when we got together. I didn’t expect rose petals and candles and slow dancing. I just wanted to see you.”

Silence. Stiles knew he’d somehow said the wrong thing because he could feel the sadness rolling off Derek in waves.

“What did I say?”

“Nothing.”

Stiles’ hand flew out and he flicked on the lamp. When his eyes recovered from the sudden flare of brightness, he squinted at Derek. “Are you actually pouting right now?”

“No.” Derek raised his eyes to the ceiling petulantly, pursing his lips.

Stiles barked out a laugh and poked Derek in the bicep. “You are totally pouting. What did I say? Tell me. You know I won’t quit until you do.”

“I could do all of that if that’s what you wanted,” Derek ground out with no small amount of reluctance. “It doesn’t make me feel good when you say you don’t expect me to do the whole romance thing.”

“You literally just called it ‘the whole romance thing’, dude, that doesn’t instil hope. And given that I can’t even get you to show up for dinner when you agreed to it, why would I hold my breath for wooing?”

Derek’s eyes flashed blue, his hands curling into fists as he turned his guilt-ridden face away. Stiles closed his eyes. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. And I didn’t mean it, really I didn’t. I’m just lashing out because I’m embarrassed. You know you romanced the hell out of me when we started dating. That wasn’t what I meant. I was trying to express that I didn’t expect our anniversary to be a huge deal in general. I just wanted to acknowledge that it happened, because it was the day the world gave me you.”

Derek swallowed, and Stiles watched as the tension unfurled from his body. He idly picked at a stray string at the hem of his sweatpants, before clumsy fingers reached out and curled over Stiles’. A peace offering, a gesture of forgiveness and a request for forgiveness of his own at the same time.

Stiles threaded their fingers together and held on tightly.

“You already had me,” Derek said. He rubbed his thumb over Stiles’ knuckles. “Fate or the universe or anything else had no part in it. I do like knowing that’s how you see it, though.”

“How do you see it?”

“I remember it as the day I realized that you were going to keep fighting at my side like you belonged there, and it first occurred to me that you did.”

The threat of tears stung Stiles’ eyes, and he raised their joined hands together to lightly brush his lips over the back of Derek’s hand.

“I love you.”

“Yes,” Derek said, then cautiously added, “Does that mean you’ll come home?”

Stiles nodded, and pressed his forehead to Derek’s shoulder, basking in the warmth. “I was always coming home.” He cast a look over his shoulder at his childhood bed and sighed. “I’m not waking my dad up after his late night. You’ll have to squeeze in beside me and suffer in a single bed for one night.”

The smile that spread over Derek’s face was fond, genuine. Its sudden appearance made the ache in Stiles’ chest finally settle, even as his heart betrayed him and embarrassingly skipped a beat. He flushed, not even needing to look at Derek to know he’d heard it and the smile was widening into a dumb grin.

“Stupid werewolf hearing,” Stiles huffed and slid back into his bed, making space for Derek to join him. “Get in the bed before I change my mind. And you’re buying me a nice dinner tomorrow. And don’t think I’ve forgotten about my card, I want my dumb punny card, Derek.”

Derek kicked off his shoes, sliding under the covers and wrapping his arms around Stiles. Stiles wriggled closer, sighing as Derek pressed a gentle kiss to his neck, and then nuzzled the same spot sweetly.

“Anything you want,” he promised.

If you liked it, please consider leaving me a comment or kudos on AO3, or reblogging here!

[hauntedselves]

Hello! I was wondering if you could describe what a comorbidity of avpd and npd, and a comorbidity of avpd, npd, and szpd, would look like?

Here's a post on NPD & AvPD, and another post here.

All of them are fairly similar to each other (NPD & AvPD are the most different). There's a fair bit of overlap. AvPD & SzPD are similar, SzPD & NPD are similar, and AvPD & NPD aren't similar but do have their similarities here and there

NPD & AvPD both have low self-esteem & are hypersensitive to rejection and criticism

someone with both AvPD & NPD said "i avoid most public situations unless i’m certain i can make myself look cool and confident and admirable to the people around me, because if they think i’m cool and confident and admirable, then that must be what i am. if they, in turn, think i’m weak and pathetic, then i’m weak and pathetic, and that’s a no-no for me. so i avoid most situations where there’s a risk to my self-image (note that my self-image is almost fully reliant in how i believe others perceive me)"

SzPD is completely different from that need for (perfect) relationships/perception of themselves as perfect - although both NPD & SzPD use superiority as self defence, SzPD has no need for people to see them as perfect/admirable/etc, and no hypersensitivity to criticism

both SzPD & AvPD can come with identity disturbances, though it's lesser in AvPD

both SzPD & NPD will value things other than relationships, but NPD will seek out relationships for validation

AvPD on the other hand will only seek out relationships if they're sure they're safe, and SzPD struggles with the fear of engulfment so may not seek out relationships at all

All use fantasy as an escape method (+ self-esteem booster in NPD)

Fantasies are often linked to a need to feel in control, which is also common in all 3

AvPD will find it very difficult to express anger, while someone with NPD will find it difficult to manage anger. SzPD tends to see (any) emotions as dramatic and distasteful, so won't express anger readily

Greenberg theorises a subtype of SzPD with NPD features (the "Narzoid"); in that post, the "Cat Lady" subtype seems like it could feasibly be SzPD with AvPD features. Greenberg's "Covert Narcissist" NPD subtype also seems feasibly AvPD. Millon's Remote Schizoid subtype has AvPD features.

I think the biggest similarity between all 3 is relationship fear. This presents itself in vastly different ways: AvPD avoids, for fear of rejection & criticism; NPD "uses" people, and avoids revealing their true self for fear of their flaws being seen (again, rejection and criticism); and SzPD avoids for fear of engulfment/control.

All may idealise people they see as safe (+ superior, in NPD)

Summary: Seems to be on a kind of continuum of AvPD -> SzPD <- NPD in terms of similarities. Low self-esteem + hypersensitivity to rejection & criticism in NPD & AvPD clash with SzPD indifference. NPD & SzPD use superiority as self-defence, AvPD feels inferior. Fantasy is a major coping mechanism in all 3. Relationship fear is the common thread between the three - fear of engulfment/control, & rejection/criticism + flaws being revealed.

[generalsmemories]

Sweet! Thanks for the permission, although fair warning this is 100% canon divergent... B-but here is a sadge scenario that keeps haunting me;

What if the "Snowmoon" that Qingzu speaks of is not Mimi but instead a nickname to a certain someone he holds dear to him? (Lover, friend, adopted child...anything works really.) Someone who he kept waiting for far too long, yet continued to hold on even against being fully mara-struck/ succumbing to old age, until he returned so they could be sure that he was safe and say their final farewell before they go.

To add a bit more angst, let's say they were also a huge lover of lions. So, it was only appropriate for Jing Yuan to name Mimi after them once he realised mimi wasn't a grimalkin. It would also be the way for others to refer to that person and pass on the anecdotes about them, without having to say their name might cause Jing Yuan to falter (or remember how he had to strike them down, if we go the mara-struck route). And only those who knew him close to him or lived long enough would truly understand the truth behind the tales.

Over time, Jing Yuan begins to forget their original name and to an extent, his memories of them, the one he adored so much due to everyone else referring to them as "snowmoon" as some sort of courtesy to him. Time muddles all things, and his memory is no exception, and before long their figure will slowly overlap with the memory of Mimi instead, since at least Mimi is still someone he could grasp.

Sorry not sorry if u get confused, cause I swear I replayed countless endings of how this scenario will turn out

THE DOOR IS THIS WAY BESTIE 🚪 PLEASE SEE YOURSELF OUT CAUSE WTF !!!!!!

why would u go for his memories as well stop going for his memories WHY MUST EVERYONE GO FOR HIS MEMORIES LEAVE MY EEPY MAN ALONE TO HIS THOUGHTS