#(also obviously the show doesn’t care. the show gave up on consistent timelines with the mark of Cain demon rewrite and God’s secret evil

[quietwingsinthesky]

wait when Metatron was talking about the archangels sending him in for reprogramming… he did just mean Michael & Raphael, right? There’s no way the timeline works it God is already gone but Lucifer was part of trying to control Metatron, cause God had to be there to get Lucifer in the Cage. And obviously Gabriel either left before or shortly after Lucifer got Caged, he couldn’t stick around.

why am i trying to puzzle out the timeline of a show that didn’t care about it

[ectonurites]

for the character headcannons ask game, jason and cass?

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT im putting this one under a cut because it got SUPER long bc i cant shut up ever

lets start w jason

A (realistic headcanon): 

ok using the ‘realistic’ category here loosely but GOD i love the idea of Damian & Jason having interacted while Jason was staying with the League before getting dunked in the Lazarus Pit. like. this obviously would need to be set more in preboot and following the Lost Days & Batman Annual 25 version of Jason’s resurrection, but god the idea of it just makes me scream in a good way. Like... these are things Jason likely doesn’t remember very clearly once he’s brought back to life more fully by the pit because he was uh pretty catatonic, but Damian being a little kid and knowing about the boy that his mother keeps around the base, that she’s trying to help bring back to health. Damian not even knowing that’s his big brother, just that he’s a presence that shares his mother’s attention. Jason again being unresponsive but like, ok god you know that part of lost days where Talia shows the others observing him that he only fights back at those he perceives as genuine threats trying to hurt him, 

Because Jason can perceive that she’s safe, she’s not actually trying to hurt him, he trusts her because she saved him? thinking about lil child Damian who is ya know already being trained in fighting stuff and like the idea of him trying to provoke Jason just to see what happens but Jason not fighting back because on some level be it his connection to Talia or even little baby Damian visually reminding him of Bruce, he knows that Damian is safe too 🥺 

and then when Jason and Damian meet again in Gotham as Red Hood & Robin respectively, Jason not really remembering because there was so much going on back then for him, but Damian realizing that oh... that was Him

B (hilarious): 

alright so if we are looking at comics currently, in modern stuff jason is what, like 22? hes old enough to drink in the US but still definitely early 20s so around my around my age, thats what im using as a basis here. if we adjust timeline and still consider his death having happened when he was 15, that puts it around 2013. and then coming back to like interacting with people about three years later if we still kinda base things off of the preboot timeframe (since we never got a super solid retelling of the timeline of death -> resurrection -> training -> tries to get revenge aside from knowing he went to the all-caste instead of the lost days version of the story) making him reenter the regular world and stuff around age 18 in 2016. meaning a solid three years of pop culture that he was entirely missing, and like im sorry but he really doesn’t strike me as the type to bother looking into what he missed, he’s kinda busy focusing on other stuff. lets take a quick look at some major things from those years. 2013 gave us ‘what does the fox say’ and ‘the harlem shake’ . 2014 had that time U2 just put a fuckin album on everyone’s phones, The Fault In Our Stars movie came out. 2015 introduced the phrase ‘Netflix and Chill’ and the whole blue & black vs gold & white dress debate happened. imagine any of the other batkids (or even arguably roy during rhato stuff) bringing these things up and jason’s ensuing confusion. thank you for your time

C (heart-crushing): 

so. there are two specific instances from rebirth era Jason i want to bring up here and much like a lot of these it’s less a headcanon and more of an inference based on observations, but i wanna take a sec to discuss Jason’s relationship with other people’s death. early in rebirth, Tim ‘dies’ from that whole thing in detective comics. he didn’t actually die, we as readers know, but in-universe they all very much so thought he was dead. frustratingly a lot of the batfam wasn’t really shown mourning him aside from in the Detective Comics Rebirth title itself (which just. when a major character dies even if its temporary- that should have a ripple effect) BUT an exception to that is in RHATO 2016, where we get this offhanded comment in Jason’s internal monologuing

similarly later when Roy, who like, had an incredibly close relationship w Jason that had just gotten mended before Heroes in Crisis, gets fuckin murdered in that whole thing... Jason doesn’t go to his funeral either. He leaves a dramatic voice mail and then visits the grave on his own later, choosing to instead keep working on the mission they’d started rather than going and taking the time to mourn properly.

Jason’s relationship with death is incredibly complicated, obviously. He has died, he has come back, and he now is willing to cross the line most other bats won’t and will kill people when he deems it necessary. I think thats something important though- he doesn’t just like... go around killing for fun (usually, some writers preboot made him a little murder happy but even then usually this still was vaguely followed) he kills people he thinks deserved it. Like, even looking back at the mess of Morrison’s Jason during Batman & Robin 2009, Jason was still trying to bring a sense of justice with who he was killing (”punishment that fits the crime”), it wasn’t killing for the sake of killing. He sees things in this kind of almost black and white ‘people who deserve it’ and ‘people who don’t’ way, and he has no problem dealing with death when it’s with the people he thinks deserve it. 

but when someone who doesn’t in his mind ‘deserve it’ gets killed? i think he just goes into total avoidance mode. throws himself into other things he’s doing, tries not to dwell on it too much no matter how much he still thinks about it (this is especially evident in him consistently telling people “i’m fine!” after what happened to Roy, despite bringing Roy up literally like every few issues for a WHILE after he died and very clearly still struggling with it, Artemis is the only one who gets through to him on it a little bit) 

but yeah, I just think that from Jason’s relatively unique situation of having been murdered, he knows what it’s like and he is perfectly fine wishing that on people he thinks are bad and deserve it, but it crushes him to imagine the people he loves and cares about having to experience something as painful as what he went through. not to mention the whole “I came back, why do I get a second chance at all this when they, who are a much better person than I am, probably won’t” mindset we get some implications of him having 

D (canon is a coward and won’t) 

hello DC i am once again insisting a batfam member is bisexual

CASS TIME

A (realistic headcanon): 

ok so we know cass likes ballet. thats canon. however i think we also should in general explore cass experiencing other types of dance/performance as well, be it herself as a performer or even just watching. like... god imagine her & like my brain just automatically for group activities puts her with tim steph and duke but also for this in particular I feel would be a Jason embraced activity, but like them going to see a broadway show or some other professional theatre or something, and her just being enthralled by the reading of body language of the performers! like again by any point in current stuff cass does have like, the ability to speak fine (reading still hard tho) but even so I think like. okay im a theatre kid if that’s not obvious from the Everything About Me but one thing I always do after seeing a show is ya know spend dinner afterwards discussing it with whoever i saw it with.

I just think that like, bringing those people i just mentioned to the table to discuss seeing a show after would be so FASCINATING because cass would bring this whole perspective of critiquing their acting on a whole different level- not based on how well they delivered lines out loud, but by what their body language was saying as they moved on stage. like im very amused by the idea of cass getting a totally different picture in her mind about what a character’s motivations were because she was paying way more attention to what their physicality was saying vs the words that were written and how they were delivered. i think the debates her and the others would have would be EPIC there. jason defending the text as it was written adamantly and cass being like ‘ok yeah sure but thats not what they did’

B (hilarious): 

cass having no concept of money because why would she bother? is SO funny to me. like it’s not that she couldn’t be reasonable if she wanted to, but like, she knows that the Waynes are well off so it’s not something she actually needs to be concerned about, so she just goes hog wild. takes steph out to fancy dinners and makes steph order for them since cass ya know doesn’t really read the menus, and steph’s like ‘jesus christ this costs-” “don’t worry about it” “but cass-” and she just holds up one of bruce’s credit cards and steph’s still like “but you don’t even know the range-” “it is fine”

bruce does not have the heart to tell her to stop

C (heart-crushing): 

i mean this is pretty much canon but especially now after death metal where she’s remembering, not just being told by a guy using weird alternate timeline technology, that she used to be an adopted member of the Wayne family... like that hurts so bad. To look at these people who have ya know been kind to her, Bruce has still been a father-like figure to her (i mean literally from the moment they met in New 52 canon during the flashback in Batman & Robin Eternal, where he’s telling her that she’s not a monster just because of what people forced her to do.... that she’s a hero... that hug.... dad behavior), and they do to some extent treat her as family... But to then really know, to feel and remember that she was actually adopted! She was a part of their family. To look at how she’s been calling herself Orphan while working with them this whole time... that’s so heartbreaking! I have cried about this idea so much! I want so badly a conversation between her and Bruce now where he offers to officially adopt her again, I need it so bad and if it doesn’t happen at some point in the next year or two I will be so distraught.

D (canon is a coward and won’t) 

i want an in-depth exploration of cass’ relationship to her own gender. being raised without language and you know with so much of her life being independent (remember: CASS RAN AWAY AROUND THE WORLD WITHOUT REALLY KNOWING ANY SPOKEN LANGUAGE) and outside of an organized society impressing too much of gender expectations on her, i feel like the way she experiences it would be very unique! like sure she’s so far been fine with being assigned ‘girl’ (ya know that comes with batgirl, and how people just automatically treated her based on how she looks) but in terms of gender expression and like her actual relationship with ‘traditional femininity’ etc like... because of how she was raised I just think she’d have a really different perspective on it that could be cool to explore, and I think she’d fall outside of the binary after she really thinks about how she identifies.

tldr on that: she/they nb cass is what i’m getting at here

[orange-meringue]

Lost And Found Q & A

(The Q&A is here! Yeah, I’m not sure exactly how many of you ended up coming over from AO3, but I’ve decided to do the Q&A for my fic here -sorry to those of you who are uninterested in my writing life, I’ve been really invested in Lost And Found lately. 

The first question was submitted here on Tumblr, and the rest are all from AO3. I hope you’re satisfied with my answers, and if you have any more questions after this or just want some elaboration, please feel free to ask! I’ll add them on in a reblog! 

Anyway, enjoy! I’ll put everything beneath the cut) 

How does Donnie adjust to physical touch/affection in the future?

-Donnie is definitely touch-starved. No way around it. As mentioned in the fic, Draxum, Huginn, and Muninn never really gave him more than a few one-sided hugs, fist-bumps or handshakes. He’d never been fully hugged or held until he met his brothers, and it’s still very weird and new to him. But obviously his brothers (as well as April and Splinter, once you get to know them) are pretty touchy, but a few of them are better at picking up on Donnie’s thing with touch than others. Overtime I feel like they would be able to get him more and more acquainted with things like casual hugs and friendly touch, and the more he gets used to these things, the less they startle him every time. Though I do imagine he has a few relapses in the future (which I do plan to write about) where touch goes back to being startling and scary, and it takes him a day or so to warm back up to it. Mostly good things, though! Donnie truly does love the familial affection, though he’s not likely to admit it

When did the boys prepare Donnie’s room?

I imagine they made his room during the last chapter, after Splinter’s apology and after April and Mayhem left, when everyone began to split up to do their own things. The timeline is a little questionable, but I like to think they had a good hour in there, and most of the materials were already there and ready -the room was likely empty, too, and was acting as some sort of storage room that they never knew what to do with. I tried to make it obvious that they’d been pressed for time and hadn’t been able to do much, hence the hastily made bed frame and why there were only two other pieces of furniture

Will Donnie ever feel comfortable enough to remove his tech around the lair in the future?

I feel that, much like canon Donnie, wearing his tech is a bit of a habitual thing. He doesn’t really see a reason to take it off, even if he’s technically safe in the lair, especially because it was ingrained in him via Draxum that his tech is everything keeping him safe. His tech is his armor and his safety blanket, and even if he knows, logically, he’s not going to be ambushed in the middle of the lair, it’s hard to take it off. Eventually, though, I feel like his brothers help with that. At one point Raph probably starts trying to train him to build strength and muscle on his own so he doesn’t have to rely on his limb clamps, and, as Donnie gets more comfortable with his brothers, he starts feeling relaxed enough to remove his battle shell when lounging around with them

Would Splinter try to bond with Donnie and attempt to form a better connection with him?

Splinter really does love his son and wants to spend time with him! But...uh...as of the story’s ending...he doesn’t know very much about him. He knows he was raised by Draxum to be a soldier and is very good with technology, but other than that...next to nothing. But it’s a great motivator! Splinter 100% wants to know Donnie as well as he knows his other boys, so he pulls out every stop to try and bond with him, making sure not to rush him despite his curiosity and family-oriented nature, because Donnie is currently pretty skeptical of adults (even Splinter) for...obvious reasons. But he wants to get to know Splinter, too, and, yeah, he’s willing to sit through his 5+ hour Lou Jitsu monologues to let that happen

How does Donnie feel about the boys’ future plans to capture oozesquitos and sabotage Draxum? Does he still have conflicted feelings about humans?

After the initial adrenaline and shock of everything subsides, I feel like it was Donnie’s idea to go after the oozesquitos. He probably wakes up in a cold sweat one night remembering oh yeah, Draxum and I unleashed a swarm of carrier bugs upon New York that are set on turning people into mutants and immediately feels the need to remedy his past mistake. So he builds a device to track the oozesquitos, which leads the boys to Big Mama’s hotel, and the rest is history (though slightly different than it was in canon, considering Donnie’s knowledge of Big Mama’s schemes and the Battle Nexus). But in terms of Draxum, Donnie would definitely be far more hesitant about trying to sabotage him. Donnie is still afraid of Draxum, after all -a small part of him feels like everything with his brothers is only temporary, and eventually he’s going to be stuck with Draxum again, and the further on his bad side he gets now, the worse it’s going to be when that does happen. He never directly challenges or fights Draxum whenever they run into him, and if there’s a way to avoid clashing with him altogether, he’ll take it

As for humans, Donnie’s definitely still conflicted about them. It’s been ingrained in him his whole life that humans are evil and selfish- that they forced his whole race underground and that’s the reason they now live in secrecy. And honestly, not even Splinter actually knows if that’s true. So Donnie remains skeptical, but overtime he’s able to do a lot more things around the city without fear of humans. They’re not actually that dangerous, he discovers, and maybe -just maybe- they’re alright. But there’s only one human Donnie grows to fully trust, and that’s April. In his eyes, she’s already proved her loyalty and compassion and, y’know, desire not to out him and his brothers to all of human-kind, not to mention she’s super badass and someone Donnie does not want on his bad side again. She’s a good friend, he realizes. He can definitely understand why she’s part of the family

How much does Donnie know about the Hidden City? Does he know about Big Mama and her hotel? How would the boys’ interactions with Big Mama change with this version of Donnie?

Considering he was raised with Draxum (who is apparently a well-known public figure in the Hidden City) he definitely has a fair amount of knowledge about the place, as well as a few ins and yōkai to go to when he needs something done. He’s very well-known himself, and actually has a reputation as a very intimidating soldier. He’s also well-versed in Big Mama’s tricks, because she and Draxum have done business before and she’s 100% tried to kidnap him for the Battle Nexus (emphasis on tried). Harking back to the question about Donnie’s oozesquito-capturing plan, the episode would definitely go differently with him there. It would be a great Leo and Donnie bonding episode, because neither of them trust Big Mama in the slightest, and Raph and Mikey would be far more cautious around her, though still intrigued by the concept of a mutant hotel and her apparent interest in helping them. But I think Donnie would manage to slip out with Leo before their brothers are captured, then it would be a race with a hilarious amount of arguing until they rescue Raph and Mikey, then everything would likely proceed as normal for the rest of the episode

Is Donnie jealous that April gets to attend school? What would his relationships with the Purple Dragons be like?

Donnie has no idea what school is. He’s heard mention of it in shows he’s pirated, but it isn’t until April comes to him one day complaining about her workload that he asks what she’s talking about. Once she explains it, he’s ecstatic! A place you can go to learn about math, science, history, and any other subject you could ever want? How much does it cost? ...It’s free?! He’s begging April to smuggle him in. She absolutely does not want to deal with that, but Donnie did make her a whole laptop and upgrade her phone a whole bunch, so how can she say no? She agrees to take him the next day, but it doesn’t fully occur to Donnie that the school is crowded with humans until he gets there. He’s on-edge the entire day, and it doesn’t help that he’s a weird green-skinned new kid no one’s ever seen before. I imagine it would be a great chapter for some good old fashioned Donnie and April bonding, and I’m 100% going to write it now, so anything else would be considered a spoiler

As for the Purple Dragons, I imagine their relationship wouldn’t be too different. The Purple Jacket episode would go relatively the same way, though I imagine Donnie would be a little more reluctant to actually join the Dragons, and way more irritating throughout the rest of the episode. But the plot and their feelings toward each other would likely remain the same

Does Donnie still eat bugs?

The whole thing with the bugs is basically...Draxum didn’t know what to feed Donnie as a baby, so he went to a local animal expert who recommended things like fruits, veggies, bugs, etc. So, considering that Draxum’s main priority was rebuilding his lab and he didn’t really have the resources to get food for anyone but himself (and maybe Huginn and Muninn- though they probably stuck to dumpster diving), Donnie’s appetite ended up consisting completely of typical turtle food, and only when he got older did Draxum started adding in things like nutrient bars and protein shakes, just to help him build more strength and muscle. So Donnie never really had anything else before he met his brothers, and it feels weird to him to jump straight from turtle to human food, so he slowly incorporates more of the latter into his diet overtime. He does still eat bugs, though. Splinter started getting him things like bug chips and seasoned bugs to make it less unsettling, but now he just eats those all the time and none of the others care for it. If a live bug happens to get in his way, he definitely won’t hesitate to eat it, and, yeah, sometimes it’s startling and almost made Leo throw up once, but it’s also really helpful if there’s a bug in the lair and none of the others want to deal with it. Donnie has eaten a spider before. The others just pretend it never happened

[hayscodings]

Been thinking abt this ask for a bit, what is your take on Penelope's sexuality?

whew, okay, this is something feel very strongly about so i apologize for the length in advance.

there tend to be two camps of people in this fandom when it comes to interpreting penelope’s sexuality and they are: (1) antis/cheryl stans who consider her to be heterosexual because they refuse to entertain the idea that she might be gay since they hate her; (2) people who have never given her character a second thought but listened to her red dahlia monologue and missed the entire point of it decided it somehow made her a lesbian.

then there are the handful of people in the parentdale fandom who know neither of those interpretations have any merit. because here’s the thing: penelope has canonically been shown to be attracted to men, and at the very least it has been implied that she’s attracted to women.

so let’s start with the former: her attraction to men.

if we think about her timeline in chronological order, the first thing we have to take into consideration is the fact that she slept around quite a bit in high school. see: “oh, it’s not that different from when i was younger and i had my pick of gentleman callers lining up every evening”. it’s important to note she says this very fondly, to the point where she does that whole looking-up-dreamily bit that one does when reminiscing about the past. keep in mind that at the time she was already aware that she was promised to clifford, and that the blossoms surely wouldn’t have approved of her going around with other boys.

there is no reason to believe she was hooking up with these guys for any reason other than she enjoyed it. she obviously wasn’t encouraged to date by her parents, she didn’t have anyone to impress considering the fact wasn’t popular, and it’s not like she could have gone around advertising these encounters anyway since she would have had to have kept them a secret from the blossoms. so that throws out any “she was pressured into it”/“she was trying to convince other people that she was attracted to boys” possibilities. the fact that she happily recalled these memories to cheryl alone casts serious doubt on them.

why excitedly bring up the memories at all if they were just reminders of a time when she was suffering as a result of heteronormativity? it’s not like cheryl encouraged her to share, or gave any indication that she would be impressed by such a revelation. penelope has nothing to prove to cheryl, anyway. the most logical conclusion is the one you get when you take her words at face value: she experiences attraction to the opposite sex and had fun exploring her sexuality in her youth. we’ll circle back to this later when we get to the subject of how comfortable she feels with sex.

so after high school she marries clifford. it’s a forced marriage, and one neither she nor clifford consented to-- but it’s what their parents groomed them for since they were children and something they’ve known was inevitably coming for years. now, for the purposes of keeping this as short as possible and not veering off topic, i won’t get into a whole analysis of their dynamic. all i will say is this: they were depicted as being entirely comfortable with one another in season one. they may not have come across as passionate or romantic, but you could tell they were partners (always on the same page, experts at nonverbal communication, trusting of each other, etc.). and what’s more than that, is they were constantly initiating affectionate gestures with each other: linking arms, putting their hands on each other, standing close together, hugging, etc.

their marriage may have been forced, but penelope genuinely cared for and felt safe with clifford. even after he died, there was a lingering attachment to him. nevertheless, that doesn’t make their situation any less traumatic. no matter how comfortable they felt emotionally with one another, the fact that they were groomed to be life companions and eventually forced to have sex with one another and raise children together, remains a very traumatic experience regardless. and we know penelope is still traumatized by it because she’s talked about it time and time again. if she was only attracted to women, that would add a whole other layer of trauma to the situation.

because if she was only attracted to women, she wouldn’t want clifford anywhere near here irrespective of the fact that they were raised together. hell, she couldn’t even close her eyes and pretend he was someone else while they were having sex. and she certainly couldn’t attempt to get to a place where the sex wasn't so awkward and uncomfortable. every encounter would be an unpleasant, pained, and traumatic experience. to the point where i can’t imagine she would want to be the recipient of any physical contact from clifford, much less frequently initiate it. in this scenario, it wouldn’t just be clifford’s relation to her that she would have to cope with, it would also be the fact that he was a man. even just going through the motions of being his wife would make her feel isolated and miserable.

which brings us to her job in s2 and probably the most solid indication of her attraction to men. in s2, we learn that the blossoms are broke and penelope is faced with the reality that she needs to get a job. let’s start with what she does to pay for the christmas tree cheryl bought: sleep with vic. was it necessary for her to do this? was it the only avenue she could have possibly taken to come up with some money in those circumstances? of course not. christmas trees aren’t that expensive-- she could have easily pawned any number of valuables in thistle house to come up with the money. hell, she could have chosen some cheryl owned to teach her a lesson. or something nana owned. or she could have simply...returned the tree. there was absolutely no reason for her to decide to sleep with vic if it wasn't something she was perfectly comfortable doing. why would this be her go-to solution if she was only attracted to women? her options were plenty.

then after this, what does she do? gets a job as a courtesan. which she delightedly describes as “providing comfort and companionship to the lonely men of riverdale”. and, as cheryl notes in that scene, she seems quite proud of herself for it. i have a very hard time reconciling how any of this would make sense if she wasn’t attracted to men. you can’t argue she was solely in it for the money, because when cheryl offers her an out via the second nick st. clair check, penelope declines to quit. in her own words, “oh, but cheryl, why would i stop, when i’m having such a good time?”. what, pray tell, would be the good time she was having if she didn’t enjoy the sex she was having with these men? keep in mind that, at this point, she wasn’t even doing any dominatrix work. at this point it was very much implied that she was focused on providing the “girlfriend experience”. so you can’t even argue that her enjoyment came from feeling empowered by dominating these men or whatever.

furthermore, not only did she hand-pick this very specific job herself and refuse to quit it when strongly encouraged and given the chance to, but she also had other options, same as she did in the situation with the christmas tree. she could have turned to hiram like cheryl suggested, she could have worked at pop’s like hermione did in s1, talked to weatherbee about a position like alice, looked at the listings in the register, or asked around about any job opportunities at highsmith, you know, the very prestigious college she graduated from and donated tons of money to and apparently sat on the board of?? the point is, penelope didn’t have to turn to sex work to pay her bills if she didn’t want to. and even if she had, she could have stoped the second cheryl handed her that check and begged her to. penelope went into sex work because she wanted to. and she's vehemently voiced how much she enjoys her work continuously and consistently since then.

then there’s her relationship with hal. this is the second strongest indication of her attraction to men. why? because she genuinely had feelings for him. when cheryl approaches her about the affair, assuming it to be a transactional encounter, penelope explains that, “it’s different, with hal. he’s not a client. it’s real”. if you pay attention to her facial expressions in that scene, you can see that there’s a certain softness and vulnerability to them. the way she delivers the line is especially vulnerable-- and penelope so rarely shows vulnerability in front of cheryl, so that alone says a lot. she then asks cheryl to “please stay out of it”. now, we don’t get to see much if any of penelope’s relationship with hal, but the bits we do see let us know that it’s not just some salacious affair. at least, not on penelope’s end. after cheryl drives hal away penelope is visibly upset and accuses cheryl of driving away her “one decent chance at a better life”.

we don’t need to unpack all of that, because penelope feeling like she can’t be happy without a man is an entirely separate issue, but the point is: she sincerely cared for hal and saw herself being happy with him. when cheryl dismissively fires back with “if that’s your idea of love”, penelope defensively snaps, “what would you know about it?”. that’s not the reaction she would have had if she had simply pursued hal because she was bored or wanted to cause some drama or was merely trying to mess with alice or something. you can’t say she was with him for money either, because: (1) she already had money at this point, (2) hal isn’t wealthy, and (3) she wasn’t getting any money out of him anyway since he wasn't a client. and if she was just looking to get hitched and settle down with a man for money, she certainly wouldn’t have gone after a married, middle class one with kids. that would not be a sensible strategy.

it’s also worth noting that nat stated in several interviews back in s2, while the affair plot was airing, that she believed penelope had real feelings for hal. she explained that penelope was lonely and, thus, “looking for a bit of warmth from somewhere”. so that’s how she was playing it.

then there's the maple club. just in case it hadn’t been established enough how much she adores her job, she had to go ahead and open a kink club. there really isn’t any need to drive the ‘she actively enjoys sex work’ point further, as i feel it’s been made explicitly clear already, but i do want to make one note, and that is that penelope was still taking clients while she was a madame. we saw her holding props in like, every other scene, and she was shown wearing nightgowns. so if anyone, for whatever weird reason, assumed she only opened the maple club so she wouldn't have to participate in the sexual encounters herself, i am here to burst your bubble.

and finally, we come to the scene that launched a thousand bad takes: the scene of the red dahlia monologue. in that scene, penelope utters the infamous words, “not people betty, men. they are the true poison”. in context, it is very clear that she is speaking from her many personal experiences with shitty men, seeing as before she delivers that quote she categorically details some of the traumas she has endured at their hands-- the murder of her son by her husband being one of them. that’s all that quote is about! the pain and betrayal she’s experienced from shitty, morally reprehensible men! it has nothing to do with her sexuality, and to make it so is to ignore and take away from the seriousness of her trauma. nothing frustrates me more than to see people misinterpret that scene and reduce it to some man-hating lesbian narrative bullshit. y’all can save that nonsense for cheryl.

also, the fact people were so quick to ignore penelope’s attraction to men in favor of calling her a lesbian feels very biphobic to me, and i will not have it. rip to everyone who thinks being bisexual is just Gay Lite™ and refuses to even consider the possibility when a character is indicated to be attracted to the same sex, but i’m different. not that that scene was any indication that penelope is attracted to women-- it was not. mistrusting men and being disgusted by their actions does not a lesbian make. that is literally just being a woman. but anyway.

the last thing i want to say before i get into penelope’s attraction to women is that there is no way she would be so comfortable with sex, or so confident expressing her sexuality, if she was a lesbian whose sole experiences with sex had consisted of meaningless high school hookups and over two decades of forced marriage to her brother. that just doesn’t add up. if she were a lesbian, s2 would have gone very differently. clifford’s death would have been liberating in more ways than one, and the last thing she would have done after finally being free of having to endure a heterosexual relationship is sleep with a random man to pay for a christmas tree, get into sex work, and pursue a relationship with a man. and go on to open a kink club. that just doesn't make sense.

so onto her attraction to women. this doesn’t require as much of an explanation, so i’ll try to keep it short and sweet since i’ve already written an obscene amount of words trying to answer this ask. i honestly can’t remember when i first started headcanoning penelope as bisexual, but i know i had been entertaining the idea of her being attracted to women long before the flashback episode aired. i’m not sure what it was, the ~vibe was just there. when i first got into the fandom i followed several people who shipped penelope and alice, and, while i didn’t care for the ship at the time (embarrassing, i know), the idea of penelope being interested in women felt very natural to me. maybe it was the violently sapphic schoolteacher/librarian aesthetic she had going on in s1, maybe it was the fact that her whole energy screamed ‘repressed’ to me. actually, i do think the latter is what initially got me wondering.

and then nat starting theorizing that penelope was attracted to women and that was very validating. i was briefly hopeful they would go in that direction in s2, but of course it never happened.

but then the flashback episode aired and bitch ?????? that one scene with sierra was gay as hell. i’m still very confused about why they played up penelope’s crush on sierra only to never go anywhere with it in present time, but  i’ll take my crumbs. all of the looks penelope gave sierra in that episode, the way she ignored her vandalizing the bathroom mirror while she grilled alice and hermione for their hall passes, the way she set up a quest just to get everyone out of the room so she could be alone with sierra, the subtle scoot towards her and “looks like it’s just you and me for a little bit, sierra” line with that dorky ass grin, the linking arms and smiling at her in the hallway??? there was nothing heterosexual about that.

and then there was the random, low-key coding in 3x12 where we learned that penelope graduated from a college named after patricia highsmith, referenced the price of salt, and used the word sapphic.....i still have questions about all of this. are we just supposed to believe she reads lesbian novels for science? and casually references them in conversation? where did she learn the word sapphic? if i asked my mom what the word sapphic meant she would have no idea what is was talking about. some food for thought.

also....her scenes with alice. that’s all i have to say.

i’m probably missing some things here, but that’s the bulk of it. i apologize for letting this get away from me...i just have a lot of thoughts lmao. anyway, i hope this was at least somewhat insightful and coherent. i appreciate the ask!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 262: A Fierce Bad Rabbit

Previously on BnHA: The hospital raid squad, which had two jobs consisting of (1) not letting Ujiko get away, and (2) not letting any of the Noumu break free to go ravage the countryside, impressively failed at both of these tasks (or so I assume) in a remarkably short amount of time. The EndeavorZawaMicLock squad were all occupied with having a very destructive fight in the hospital lobby, leaving my girl Miruko, Goddess of Courage and First of Her Name, to do pretty much all the heavy lifting, which, fine!! Except that Ujiko remembered that he had a bunch of High End Noumus just floating there waiting to be activated, and he was all “!!” and fucking activated them, and like five of them went after Miruko all at once and smashed her into a bunch of machinery and glass tubes, which frankly should have killed her but it didn’t because she’s a fucking boss. But now it’s just her (and Crust, who might do something too, but for now JURY’S STILL OUT) against all these guys while Ujiko speeds off to grab Tomura and abscond. So basically everything that could go wrong has already gone wrong so UH. OKAY.

Today on BnHA: Miruko kicks ass. Then she checks her watch and sees that there’s still time for her to kick more ass, so she does. Then there is still time, because this chapter is all about her kicking ass! So she kicks even more ass!! It’s great!! I have no complaints!! She decapitates a man with her thighs!! That’s a thing that really happens!! Also she loses an arm but WHO HASN’T LOST AND/OR BROKEN THEIR ARMS IN THIS SERIES, REALLY. Everyone is doing it. Somehow she manages to make it look cool because Miruko. Miruko can strangle a man with a cordless phone. She can kill two stones with one bird. Miruko makes onions cry. Death once had a near-Miruko experience. Mirukoooooooo. Anyway the chapter ends with Skeptic warning everyone at The Ol’ Villain Hotel that the heroes are coming, so basically WELCOME BACK, EVERYONE, this manga is back with a vengeance.

guys I’m gonna try to do this recap fast because I’m seeing Heroes Rising tonight at 7:30! and I’m so excited! and for those that asked, yes I do plan on doing some kind of write-up about it, though it’ll all be from memory after the fact so we’ll see how that goes. but !! I’ve waited 84 years for this ahhhhh but anyway so in the meantime let’s see what new and creative ways our heroes are finding to screw this up even more

(ETA: I did it but this thing isn’t edited for shit lol. after I get back I’ll give it a more thorough readthrough so sorry if I missed any really obvious errors! also there are probably way more exclamation points than usual which may or may not be a plus or minus.)

look at this helpful announcement

High End Noumu approaching, everyone. you have been warned. just in case you somehow failed to notice?? IT’S RIGHT THERE Y’ALL LOOK OUT

lmao FINALLY

MORE HEROES. YOU ALL CERTAINLY TOOK YOUR FUCKING TIME, but hey welcome to the party. and none of that “I don’t see how that’s a party” sassy shit either. you all know what I’m talking about so get out there and have fun

so they’re standing there all “it’s a talking Noumu!” and YEAH. that’s what I’ve been fucking trying to tell you. thank god someone finally fucking said it out loud so that hopefully the EZML squad can finally take notice of this as well. like guys. bigger fish?! get to frying!!

so now Crust is all “there are more of them ahead, Miruko’s in danger!” which, again, thanks for finally letting everyone else in on this formerly exclusive scoop there pal. ‘preciate it

I... really do not understand Crust’s quirk at all. I’m just gonna own up to it

what is this. what does “zuga” mean fx-wise. why did those scale things on his arms get so big. what are they made of. what’s happening

oh it turns out that if you scroll and read more instead of pausing for ages to ask dumb questions, the thing you were asking about might actually be explained in great detail in the very next panel

but what are they made out of though. and why “Crust”?? ah well I suppose that’s a question for someone who actually cares more than I do

by the way the quality of this scan is actually really good so far, I gotta say. we’re only two pages in, true, but they either cleaned this up really nicely, or this was a much higher-quality scan than usual. either way I am appreciative!

lol this poor Noumu is shook

what did I name you two weeks ago, again? Rusty?? anyways he’s doing his best you guys. gambare my dude, though actually you do need to die, so that’s too bad though

Crust is all “you pitiful living corpse!” with tears in his eyes because he’s dramatic! but jokes aside I do appreciate that he has compassion for these monsters who are all still basically innocent victims at the end of the day

does anyone else actually hear that funny-sounding anime narrator guy in your head nowadays when you read panels like this lol

I can hear the voice so clearly and it’s great

only ten times the strength of a normal human, guys. that’s actually not that bad. I’m only half joking lol. because obviously your average hero is going to be much stronger than a so-called “normal” person too, yes? and I’m pretty sure Miruko has the strength of like 30 humans but I may be overestimating her just slightly but am I though

oh lol I apparently did not learn my lesson about doing commentary before I’m done reading hahaha

so High Ends are on a different tier of their own above even the “high” tier. well that’s just. yeah that sounds more like the “we’re still fucked” update that I was expecting

oh wait, seriously??

are you telling me that all of the High Ends were actually cultivated from villains? so maybe not completely innocent, then? is this Horikoshi’s way of trying to make us feel marginally better about the fact that the heroes are shortly henceforth going to have to exterminate these guys with great prejudice? I mean they’re still basically slaves to Ujiko’s programming now though so that sucks

also I missed this earlier but the narration here basically just confirmed that Noumu are all made from corpses. which I kind of suspected, but the still-very-much-alive Tomura would then be a glaring contradiction to that, no? or is that why he’s so special. anyway I do appreciate that we’re getting a lot of much-awaited answers in this Noumu arc, but some of this is also just raising more questions. gotta be patient I guess

speaking of Tomura, Ujiko’s back in the Tomura room, so. I assume some absconding is soon to occur

oh shit!! so there’s another panel explaining that “artificial transplant of quirks” requires surgery and then three months of stabilization time following that. sooooo I’m pretty sure this mofo just confirmed that he gave Tomura some shiny additional new quirks, so that’s nice! that’s real fucking great! I know we were all eyeing Tomura skeptically and thinking to ourselves “this is almost just right, but needs more death”

wait, what?

“I was already dead anyway” meaning that he knows there’s no way out for him? and so he doesn’t have a secret way out of the lab?? ??? can that really be true?? our intrepid heroes actually did their job right and the villains had no contingency plan?? oh my god I am so terrified of letting my guard down lmao I still refuse to believe this at all

and is that Tomura who’s at 70% stabilization? that would seem to fit with the timeline we were given. holy shit is he unboxing him early fsdfkjalsdk are we about to go from “fucked” to “exorbitantly fucked”

and why am I strangely excited about it sob!!

HAHAHAHA OH GOD

so this is how liberty dies. with a beep

also fuck you all, now it’s at 71%?! couldn’t leave it at a nice even number for us, could you? you just had to throw that extra percent in there at the last moment to fuck with us all

anyway did you all catch how fucking ripped he was there though? like boiiii whaaaaat. clearly his abs are already at 100%

OH MY GOD

DOES NOTHING FUCKING FAZE THIS BEAUTIFUL, RULE-BREAKING MOTH

HAHAHA

RIGHT??

HOLY FUCKING MOLY

friendly reminder that Dabi was all good and ready to throw down with both Endeavor and Hawks (who were admittedly weakened by that point) that one time a while back, but then Miruko showed up and he was all “lol nope I think the fuck not” and warped out of there. Dabi, whose quirk is so powerful that its only apparent downside is the fact that it roasts him alive as well. that Dabi took one look at Miruko and decided he likes having his spine intact and fucking vamoosed, because that is the smart fucking thing to do when this girl shows up smiling at you the way that she is smiling at these Noumu now

anyway. fucking Ujiko knew he needed at least five High Ends to even stand a chance of slowing her down, is all I’m saying. y’all better respect the FUCK out of Miruko, everyone. it’s the law

anyway. so. quirk: bunny. can smash rl gud

someone needs to ask Horikoshi the fuck kind of rabbits he has been hanging out with. applied that “and more!” part pretty fucking liberally huh. WHO DID YOU SAY TRIX WERE FOR AGAIN, CHILDREN??

NOBODY THROWS MIRUKO IN THE BRIAR PATCH AND GETS AWAY WITH IT

fffwhatttttttttt

that would be our good buddy Max Rebo. so that’s definitely not an elephant trunk-like thing then. we may need a new name for you

on a side note, I never thought we’d meet another character who looks more like Katsuki than Mitsuki does, and yet every damn week Miruko is proving me wrong. goddamn she is great

lmao wait maybe that wasn’t Max at all, but Jester. because this is clearly Max over here

so Girl!Noumu is a water bender, Jester can do... something weird with his hair, and Max can do anything an elephant can do if that elephant was also powered by steam. nice

HAHAHA BUT MIRUKO IS ALL “KICK!!!”

HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK!!!

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT. I WOULD READ AN ENTIRE MANGA OF JUST THIS LMAO THIS IS TOO MUCH ADRENALINE I CAN’T

JESTER’S WEIRD SPIKY ROCK HAIR IS SLICING HER ARM AND SHE’S ALL “THAT HURTS YOU JERK!!!!” AND GETTING READY TO FREAKING PILEDRIVE HIM I CAN’T, THOUGH!?

SDKFJLDKSJFLKJ

HER FATHER PEPPY TAUGHT HER THAT. BARREL ROLL ALL OVER THESE BITCHES!!

WHAT THE FUCK

FUCKING QUIRKS!!!! THOUGH!!!! WILLLLLLLLLD

SDKFJLAS;DHK OH MY GOD OH SHIT

real talk this is the scariest fucking quirk I’ve ever seen I was like what the fuck looking at her arm and then I saw him doing the twisty hand gesture and just. fuck. YOU’RE NOT CRIMSON RIOT AT ALL YOU’RE SOME PSYCHO TELEKINETIC BITCH AND I FUCKING HATE YOU!!

NO!!!!!

fuck fuck fuck. I’M SURE HER ARM’S GOING TO BE JUST FINE AND DANDY AFTER THIS GUYS, DON’T WORRY. THIS MANGA HAS SUCH A SERENE AND TRANQUIL HISTORY WITH ARMS. ISN’T THAT RIGHT DEKU

though on the plus side, if she does lose that arm we can count on her to somehow instantly become like 50x more attractive, which I’m pretty sure might cause the very fabric of the universe to unravel but it would be worth it

(ETA: SHE DID AND IT WAS!!)

MADAME PRESIDENT!! MY QUEEN

OH HELL YERRRRRR

fucking hell guys I’m running out of exclamation points and excited things to say here. AND SHE JUST KEEPS GOING! LIKE HER MOM THE ENERGIZER BUNNY BEFORE HER

I’M SORRY UJIKO DID YOU THINK FIVE HIGH ENDS WAS ENOUGH?! MAYBE NEXT TIME WE MAKE IT TEN, HOW ABOUT THAT. FUCK OFF

lmao holy shit I can’t stop laughingggg

well Crimson, at least you get to die happy. is she literally going to crush his face between her thighs. is this entire chapter just one big prank on me. if Miruko was the protagonist would this series have ended in the first chapter. trick question, the answer is it never would have started to begin with because she would have killed All for One years ago!! how much would it cost to hire Miruko to come kick away all of my problems for me

hello good afternoon everyone this is a real panel that really happened in this manga

I don’t even know what to say about anything anymore

sob she’s all “YEAH RIGHT” and SNAPPING HIS FUCKING NECK WITH A FUCKING TRIANGLE CHOKE, THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING, FUCKING LOOK!! AT!! THIS!!!

we’re not even gonna make it to 300 chapters. Horikoshi held off for as long as he could, but eventually Miruko couldn’t be contained any longer and he had to unleash her and she instantly went and reckt every last fucking bad guy out there until there was nothing left. who are the kids even going to fight. nobody that’s who. go back to school kids

SON OF A BITCH WHAT IS HAPPENING

THIS IS THE MOST VIOLENT THING I HAVE EVER FUCKING SEEN AND YET SOMEHOW I SWEAR I CAN HEAR ANGELS SINGING. RESPLENDENT

SOBBING!!!!

“S’POSE I SHOULD GET THIS ANNOYING THING CHECKED OUT BEFORE I BLEED TO DEATH OR SOME BULLSHIT.” WHAT AN INCONVENIENCE. JUST A FUCKING FLESH WOUND. NOBODY USES ARMS THESE DAYS ANYWAY

“IF THE ONLY WAY TO STOP YOU IS BY CRUSHING YOUR HEADS THIS WILL BE WAY EASIER THAN HOLDING BACK ON A NORMAL VILLAIN.” SOB THIS IS MIRUKO’S WORLD AND WE’RE ALL JUST BEGRUDGINGLY ALLOWED TO EXIST IN IT. MY BARONESS

DID YOU JUST TOURNIQUET YOUR DISMEMBERED FUCKING LIMB WITH YOUR OWN FUCKING HAIR ONE-HANDED FFCKCK KCKCLK JUST MIRUKO THINGS

Miruko also saw Horikoshi getting ready to end the chapter after 17 pages and was like “EXCUSE YOU THERE” and he backed off because he actually likes having a fucking head thank you very much

LMAO AND NOW OF ALL TIMES WE’RE CUTTING BACK TO THE OL’ VILLAIN RESORT. SIGH

Skeptic seems to have finally cottoned on to them being in some kind of trouble. huh

how does he know it was Jin who screwed up?? did he realize that Hawks betrayed them oh shit!?!

OOP HE’S SOUNDING THE ALARM

AND THE CHAPTER IS ENDING. BUT I’M NOT DONE SCREAMING. AHHHHHH well anyways I’m off to watch my children kick lots of ass on the big screen. assuming I can get this posted in time with zero editing whatsoever lol I’ve got like... an hour. WE SHALL SEE!

(ETA: we did it lol just barely! this whole thing is probably a giant mess but oh well! Mirukoooooo)

[noobsomeexagerjunk]

THE SAINT-EX STORY AU

Bojack Horseman AU #3 (Alternatively, the Ruthie Mannowdog AU)

messy as always; also shoutout to @roskii you gave me the confidence to make ocs for this show and for informing me of the existence of very adorable yet incredibly toxic sea bunnies

obligatory Ruthie AU; takes place in a hypothetical 2030s Hollywoob—our girl is 12 and the star of the show

The title is an allusion to Season 5’s “The Amelia Earhart Story”, referencing pilot and writer Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, who has great importance to the character of this depiction of Ruthie

actually, Ruthie dresses up as the Prince during halloween

VIM is thriving and well-recommended

Princess Carolyn has replaced Turtletaub

Judah too has risen in position

Assistants have never been given this much care and consideration for a while

Todd and Maude just married this year and are as busy as ever trying to franchise their daycare

Maude has convinced Todd that whatever they have will always be authentic

They’re just winging that franchising thing

They have a big presence in Ruthie’s life but this franchising thing will lessen that as our porcupine girl gets older

Diane Nguyen has gained fame as a mystery YA writer; Ivy Tran is a household name

Next to Ivy Tran, Food Court Detective is a book series headed by a character inspired by Diane’s life as a stepmother to Sonny; this too is selling

BoJack Horseman and Mister Peanutbutter are living together, since BoJack’s release from prison in 2021—there are plans for BoJack to move out but it’s clear neither of the two wants that yet

Birthday Dad has ended as of 2026 and BoJack hasn’t acted since the 2023 film The Horny Unicorn

The Dog and Pony Show is a vlog series (with the occasional plot arcs) that BoJack and Mister made together because a drunk dog convinced a sober horse this was a good idea

It’s popular enough that they’re earning money out of it

intergenerational conflicts maybe?

Ruthie is Gen Alpha right??? she’s born in 2018 which is too late for a Gen Z

will tackle issues concerning education, technology, show business obviously, immigration and the general changing of the times

explores more moralistic ideas and philosophies—that is the tone being a slight bit more didactic

F-bomb of the season is used and inverted: every time Ruthie gains a new friend, this happens; sometimes subverted for breakthroughs and thematic instances

a more youthful, coming-of-age view of the show’s themes

more silly and whimsical

OCs everywhere

ruthie’s character in this au has bits and pieces from her mom (steadfast loyalty and determination), bojack (fear of messing up and never ever being forgiven for it) and peanutbutter (general optimism and belief in giving love)

this is why bj and pb are her favorite celebrities to spend time with--she relates to some aspects of their persons

which is a lot given the number of celebs she’s lucky enough to meet every day due to her parents’ line of work

ocs involved have character parallels to other existing canon characters

a best friend oc i made for her for instance would take on elements from diane (south east asian immigrant, writer, and feminist), herb  (gay lesbian, in love with best friend, a writer too), and charlotte (generally simple desires about her future and actively avoids drama)

another would take from todd (creative and idealistic), sarah lynn (vulgar-humored, hedonistic and is always trying to please everybody), and hollyhock (adopted by really overbearing gay parents and sporty)

actually i’ll save the rest of the ocs for another post

Some stuff about Ruthie in this AU:

the adopted daughter of Princess Carolyn and Judah Mannowdog

the show is very consistent with time so as much as i want to give her a birthdate, my interpretation of the show timeline is not good enough for me to deduce it

studying in a fairly secluded public school in LA

fell in love with the arts the moment she found Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s The Little Prince in the school library

as well as gained the dream to become a pilot like her idol author and Amelia Earhart, known to her very well as her mother’s idol

there are days where she has to be dragged in the office; this exposure has made her brutally aware of the machinations of hollywoob

a trait that comes from neither of her parents is the ability to detect bullshit right away and not ignore it—emphasis on not ignore it

what she did get from them is determination from her mother, precision from her father, and a sense of loyalty from both

of course, she knows she’s adopted—she wishes to meet her bio parents by herself when she is older

she wears a jacket made by Sadie that PC bought for her; Ruthie doesn’t know it yet—PC bought it during a brief drive through her home town

Ruthie is known to be a very charismatic and compelling individual and has used her youthfulness and childlike energy to her advantage

wants to either be a pilot or a playwright when she is older

above average grades in school

young girl with an old soul

simple needs, simple wants, simple expectations from others

hates the idea of grudges and never understands people who keep them

views life as a culmination of fleeting experiences

and love as a common obligation of the living

ridiculously long patience for a 12 year old

her quills are a metaphor to a huge part of her character

(i’m actually still trying to figure out what that part is bear with me please)

accidentally gave BoJack an anxiety attack once when she described herself as a “prickly muffin” in his presence; she never finds out why

also accidentally quilled Mr. Peanutbutter that one time he visited the Mannowdog house for her mom’s birthday

sometimes confuses her parents’ VIM office and the apartment since she spends equal time in both places

likes music from 10-20 years ago just to feel more mature

actually feels like she’s acting too childish and tries to look mature

[lawbreaker13]

Why is everybody so upset with Stormy Weather 2? This was like a super important episode??

Seriously guys, I don’t know what the problem is. There are flashback episodes in basically every show, but this was a crazy important marker for Miraculous Ladybug. I’m gonna go into detail about everything that was learned, but I just want to start by saying that what this episode did for us indefinitely was set itself on a timeline. It explicitly stated that everything through Chris Master happened within a year-and-a-half timeframe before this episode. It also set Marinette in a place where she’s officially declared, in writing, that she and Adrien are “just friends.” Like, she used Adrien’s “just a friend” line. And we know how this show is with parallels, so I count that as a pretty big one.

I’m gonna get more into this now though, so here we go.

Right off the bat we have the idea of change. Chloe taunts Marinette with the idea that she’ll never change (and we all know how much Marinette likes to challenge Chloe’s words). The word “change” is something that is brought up throughout the whole episode, so watch out for that.

We have Marinette genuinely reflecting. Like not just thinking on her rooftop and complaining about how Chat Noir is a glutton and would drop his guard for a couple of macaroons, she’s really thinking over her life’s choices. It’s framed in such a different light than the way we normally get our characters thinking.

“Adrien has become a true friend.” “Adrien’s become a friend who I can talk to about anything.” “Can you still be in love with someone even after they become your friend? Do you think I’ll ever be able to tell him that he means much more to me than ‘just a friend?’” This is what Marinette thinks of relationships. She thinks that the friends-to-lovers trope is crap and that you have to dive straight into a relationship. And that’s why whenever Adrien talks about her as a friend she becomes so heartbroken. She doesn’t think it’s a step in the right direction, she thinks it’s completely on the opposite end of the spectrum.

I don’t know WHAT Gabriel is plotting with “Ms. Tsurugi” or whether that means Kagami or her mom, but I’m a little terrified.

"Things may not be going exactly as we had planned, but change can be a good thing.” Gabriel’s first line is about change. Hm.

Nathalie’s entire monologue gives us so much background I don’t even know where to start.

She’s starting to regret having taken the job in the first place

She really, genuinely cares about Adrien

She officially, canonically, is in love with Gabriel and it’s because his dedication to his wife is admirable which show how much of a detail-oriented person Nathalie is because WOW she’s missing the big picture here, and also that there is going to be some major love triangle stuff going on towards the end of this between Gabriel, Emilie, and Nathalie (but how might that work?? Redemption arc??? Prison marriage????)

Emilie’s condition is progressively getting worse

Nathalie is still getting sicker, despite only having used the peacock miraculous once (on-screen)

(Also, side-note, hearing Nathalie speak so much at once was like an out-of-body experience for me and her passionate voice about Gabriel was...something)

Adrien really just wants to talk to his dad about his day and their relationship is so screwed up that he can tell by LESS THAN a side glance that Gabriel doesn’t want to hear it from him. Like geez.

Gabriel can recognize familiar emotions. So...does an emotion from Chat Noir feel the same as emotion from Adrien??? Guess we’ll find out soon enough.

Nooroo just wants to see Gabriel and Adrien happy together. Gabriel is a dick. This is not new information, just needed to be reiterated again.

Also, save Nooroo, please.

Gabriel does in fact have the ability to feel remorse. However, he chooses to ignore it, in his own words “at any price.” The only things worth changing his mind are his family, though he does care about Nathalie too. We’ll see how well that holds up.

“People don’t change, they only grow.” Huh. Episode themes from Gabriel Agreste.

“My father will never change.” YOU GUYS PICKING UP ON A THEME HERE????

Plagg’s “I like people who never change. You always know what to expect!” is first off, adorable, second, reverse psychology. He does this to Adrien consistently throughout the series. Considering he’s the one who keeps trying to change Adrien’s mind about Ladybug, he obviously knows what he’s saying isn’t entirely truthful. But Plagg is an adorable, cheese-loving psychopath. Whatcha gonna do?

On the complete other end of that, Plagg talking Adrien through all the ways he’s changed shows how much he cares about him again.

Why Plagg is defending Gabriel, I don’t know. But this is definitely something to note. Does he really think Gabriel is changing for the better? Is Gabriel supposedly changing for the better? (I vote no) Is he unintentionally setting Adrien up for disappointment in a later episode? Guess we’ll see!

Side note, Plagg pretending not to know Marinette’s name is one of my favorite things. It’s not like he can’t say it because Tikki can talk about Adrien, he just chooses not to. And he knows very well who she is. This was confirmed in Weredad.

The scarf has been brought up again. Everybody note this immediately.

ZAG does, in fact, have somewhat of a legitimate animation budget. That volcano is sick.

Of all the villains to use as a filler, Stormy Weather was a solid choice, you all have to admit. Especially when you contrast the repetition of a villain to the episode’s theme.

Ladybug puns. This has been confirmed.

“A little change is good, don’t you think?” HMMMMMMM. Just think about how this was followed by the line “I love that girl.” HMMMMMMM.

Nino and Alya chill on Alya’s bed. Nino never regrets meeting Alya. He loves his girlfriend. Alya loves her boyfriend. They are one of the sweetest canon couples ever to exist.

Nino has a flirty voice he uses on Alya. This is important information.

I don’t want to get into what would’ve happened had the twins not burst the door open, but I want this thought to be noted.

Nino has been adopted by the Cesaire family.

Chloe literally stands on her rooftop with a bat signal every time there’s an akuma. Obsessive much?

"There’s nobody nicer than me!” *cue reel of Chloe being the worst human in the country* is honestly one of the best jokes in this series.

“Once a villain, always a villain,” has an incredible amount of significance but it can pretty much be summed up into the idea that Chloe doesn’t understand change.

Ladybug knows that she and Chat Noir know each other really well now. She reflects on how much they trust each other, literally with their lives, and how their relationship is the reason they have new powers and fighting abilities.

Also, character development. Did anybody see that super soft look Ladybug gave Chat Noir when he said he always agrees with her? Would Ladybug have stopped to admire anything about Chat Noir 2 seasons ago? HMMMMMM.

I would like it to be noted that professional cinematography equipment is several thousands of dollars and it physically hurts me to think of that camera screen breaking in the cold.

Apparently you can take down a super villain with a photocopier and a pencil. Take notes, people.

Alya’s sisters have an akuma victory dance. More important info.

Marinette has gathered up enough courage to write Adrien a note. Last episode she tried to express her feelings. She very well had it in her to do that again, and what she chose to do was to make it clear that they were just friends. She wants Adrien to know that they’re on the same page. It’s in writing. And in Adrien’s hands.

“Good job, we’ve got ourselves a new and improved Marinette!” Change, anyone???

“She’s always been that way. She never changes.” HMMMMM.

Plagg wants Adrien to move on. He’s genuinely trying to convince him by reminding him of how Ladybug is not interested. But maybe there are other girls out there? Hint hint.

*Looks at valentine from Marinette* “You can’t just change your feelings just like that.” *conveniently timed note from Marinette arrives* GUYS. IT’S CALLED SYMBOLISM. Or something like that. Also foreshadowing.

Now this I need to explain super in-depth because there are so many complaints about this part. Adrien was just looking between the two notes. He knows how Marinette gets around him and he knows how it compares to when she’s talking to Chat Noir or Alya. He remembers things from Troublemaker. And he’s holding the two notes in his hands at that moment. Incredibly similar handwriting. He thinks. He remembers how she had pictures of him in her room. And he consciously knows that the valentine he got in response to his own is not from Ladybug. He knows it’s from someone at school. Doesn’t think, he knows. Adrien has figured it out. “No, Marinette couldn’t possibly be in love with me,” he says sadly with slight question in his voice. “She’s just a friend who loves fashion. Besides. There’s Luka.” *cue flashbacks of Adrien watching Marinette and Luka on a date, with the absolute saddest music I have ever heard play in this show playing in the background while he reflects* Guys. This is how Adrien thinks. This is what Adrien thinks of relationships. He believes that you can only like one person at a time. He can’t like Marinette, he likes Ladybug. And Marinette can’t like him, she likes Luka. He DID figure it out. The only reason he dismissed it is because he doesn’t understand her feelings. He doesn’t understand that love isn’t clear-cut, finite, one-and-done. He knows for a fact that she went out with Luka once, so how could she like both of them? That’s not possible...is it?

And are you telling me that “It’s just a person that has similar writing, that’s all,” wasn’t spoken in the most melancholic, disappointed tone of voice that Adrien has ever used on anyone other than his father?

Adrien’s 14. Marinette is 14. They don’t understand life. They don’t understand how complex feelings and relationships are. They think you fall in love with your soulmate and it’s golden from there. They’re dumb kids, but they’re not stupid. Adrien did figure it out. But he can’t bring himself to believe it. He doesn’t understand. And be honest. Did you understand when you were 14?

A couple side notes about the episode that didn’t fit directly into my play-by-play.

That valentine thing went full-circle. Dark Cupid was the first episode with any real lovesquare plot-progression and here we have the exact same setup, but this time with internal monologuing. We start with Marinette reading Adrien’s letter and end with Adrien reading Marinette’s letter. Just like we did in Dark Cupid, but this time it’s in reflection. It’s a parallel. I’m not fabulous at analysis, but I do know this much. Parallels.

This was a Valentine’s Day episode in the same way that Chris Master was a Christmas episode. Themed but not centered. It was a nice change of pace if you ask me.

The end card is always kind of a mini-synopsis of the episode. In this one, we see Marinette, confident and proud of herself for accepting Adrien’s friendship, and Adrien, staring longingly at a valentine that he knows isn’t from Ladybug, wondering if it could possibly, possibly be from Marinette. Huh. That feels a little backwards, doesn’t it?

And I’m just still so stuck on how sad that music was with the Luka flashback. Like, that kinda hurt to listen to??? Wow Adrien.

Side note, I just...I can't get over this. When you were a kid and you heard someone liked you (let alone was in love with you) did you believe it? I'm an adult and I wouldn't believe it if someone told me they liked me. When you feel as unloved as Adrien does every single day, the idea of a good friend of yours being completely in love with you sounds almost...too good to be true, doesn't it? Why should he think she likes him? Especially since he’s just drawing that conclusion on his own?

I personally would like to believe that the reason the rest of the episodes have been postponed is so that we can mull this over for a little while until the rest of them come out. Because from this point forward, there will be some changes. And speaking of which.

CHANGE. Can we all agree that that’s what this episode was about? Why would they place it on a timeline otherwise? Why would they explain to us what came before unless we’re supposed to know what comes after? IT’S THE CONTINUITY THAT WE’VE BEEN ASKING FOR. ACCEPT YOUR GIFTS.

This is the best continuity and information we’ve been given since episode one. And it’s set up in a way that my 6-year-old cousin could understand perfectly. It’s a show for everyone, guys. And this episode was the perfect example of it.

I personally think this is one of the best episodes thus far. In fact, if it weren’t for my Marichat-loving heart, it would be number one by a long-shot. Of COURSE they needed a recap episode. Because if they didn’t have one, do you know what we’d say? “Oh, but Thomas Astruc says there IS no continuity! Did he LIE???” Let the man win for once. We asked. It was delivered. This. Is. Continuity. This. Is. Character development. This. Is. Plot. This. Is. Miraculous.

Thank you for coming along on this journey with me.

[popwasabi]

Lockdown Lookback: Catching up on the past months’ Pop Culture

Aaaaannnd we’re back!

It’s amazing what a little pandemic can do to shake you out of your creative cobwebs but if we’re all going to die, I want to make sure all my pop cultural hot takes are up to date at least.

Many of us are already on lockdown and many major movies including “007,” “Black Widow” and ummm I guess “Mulan” are all getting pushed to the backburner as no one is leaving their God damn homes unless they’re told to!

(Didn’t realize the thing I wish I had more of in the apocalypse would be sweatpants...)

But there’s still plenty to talk about from the previous months and other hot topics I have been meaning to write about but just hadn’t found the time or energy for. Life has been hard I think for just about all of us these days thanks in no small part to this pandemic. For me personally, I’ve had two different vacations canceled because of the virus and currently working understaffed at my job which is considered essential. Not to mention my therapist is on call only at this time and both my martial arts schools have been suspended, so I can neither talk nor punch my feelings out of my system.

So, I might be just a LITTLE on edge at the moment.

(My internal monologue for most of these past few weeks, more broadly years...)

Anyways, I digress, you come here because you like to read my highly unprofessional takes on pop culture and genuinely to those who have cheered me on from the beginning thanks, you guys are my prime motivators. But anyways let’s talk about all the shit I was supposed to write about these last two and a half months.

 “Birds of Prey” was a hot, but needed, mess

Earlier last month I got to see the sort of sequel to the much-maligned “Suicide Squad” in “Birds of Prey and the…waaaay too long of a title for me write here.” I had cautious optimism for it because it looked strange and off the beaten path of most comic book movies and seemed to promise at the very least a fun time at the theater but it’s still also a DCEU movie so the floor was pretty low on its possible quality as well.

In the end, the movie is kind of bit of everything; the best and worst parts of the DCEU. 

In terms of the good, it’s definitely outside the box, a sort of fem Deadpool first person story as told frenetically by Harley herself. Margot Robbie is, of course, still quite great at this role and you can tell she’s having a blast as this character. The humor is mostly good and visually the bright colors and cinematography pops on each screen and on that front there isn’t much to complain about.

But as a DCEU movie it does suffer from some narrative imbalance partially due to it’s psycho storyteller but mostly, and more than likely, due to corporate editing that probably axed an entire dance number that I was honestly looking forward to from the trailers.

(Seriously, I actually wanted to see the full unedited version of whatever hell this ended up being.)

It’s definitely in the “could’ve been better” camp of comic book movies but you know what? I’m still glad it exists. You know why? Because comic book movies dominate our blockbuster culture right now and if the genre wants to survive, at least artistically, it needs some outside the box films like this. I HATED “Joker” but I appreciate that it opened the door for stranger, more unique takes on a genre that is getting increasingly more stale. This movie falls into that unique category too.

(Also, to all the faux-intellectuals and alt-right nerds making a culture war out of “Sonic” vs “Birds of Prey” *kindly* reevaluate your lives please...)

We’re at the point now where comic book movies should be getting weirder, not more formulaic, and that means swinging for the fences even if a couple don’t quite make it out of the ballpark. If it takes a few not so stellar takes on the genre for Hollywood to greenlight a truly fantastic one I’m all for it.

In any case “Birds of Prey” doesn’t quite end nor continue the DCEU’s recent hot streak but it is enjoyable enough to where I would be more than open to a sequel. It’s worth a watch.

 The Mandalorian and The Witcher: Two shows about violent mercenaries and fatherhood

Both these shows are old news at this point, but I did want to talk a little about both for a bit if you would have me.

First, “The Mandalorian” which was Disney+’s flagship production to begin its streaming chapter late last year is definitely a more than welcome addition to the galaxy far, far away. It’s pretty easy to feel fairly jaded about Star Wars these days given how flat the new trilogy ended but for what it’s worth “The Mandalorian” was a good mix of nostalgia bait and something new and interesting for fans to chew on. Its production value is obviously top-notch, no doubt because of all the Disney money pumped into it, it’s well-acted and thrilling and fun from start to finish. It plays heavily on the genres that influenced the series, primarily westerns and old samurai flicks, and fans of those will certainly enjoy the homages to them all.

The series was something of a coming out party for Deborah Chow who directed two of the season 1’s best episodes. Her steady hand, eye for details and tributes to Asian cinema throughout really gave the series an extra kick at times and showed how Star Wars can evolve still. Chow is set to helm the upcoming “Kenobi” series and one can only hope that she *really* leans into the samurai genre for that show.

(Hopefully, there are some “Yojimbo” vibes in there somewhere...)

The Mandalorian’s best and worst parts though are its semi episodic nature making each episode easy to digest as a one-off but also lacking some narrative tension between each. It plays kind of like a Saturday Morning cartoon to both its benefit and detriment with bite-size easy to digest plots and dialogue for the viewers but not offering a ton of depth beyond that.

The Mandalorian himself is also kind of a Gary Stu. His armor is basically impenetrable and far and away the best killer onscreen typically, making more than a few action scenes lack real stakes and tension. Baby Yoda certainly helps at times to make him more vulnerable and puts him in precarious positions plenty of times but outside a few moments (mainly episode 2 and to a lesser extend the final episode) he’s just a little too overpowered to be a more interesting character.

But this show and frankly the Star Wars series as a whole is meant for kids, no matter what the neckbeards try to tell you (violence =/= adult), and that’s not necessarily a bad thing either. Plenty of kids productions can be both great and even sophisticated and while I wouldn’t say “The Mandalorian” is either of those it’s a good and fun kids show for the fans.

(And yes I’m aware that the books, some comics, and games have touched on more adult stuff, you weirdos. But how would you describe the overall tone and presumptive audience of the movies and TV series as a whole, guys??)

As far as “The Witcher” goes it also has a bit of an episodic style to it as well with an overarching, albeit, convoluted story that runs parallel to it. The first 3-4ish episodes can be classified as a quasi “Game of Thrones” clone leaning perhaps a little too heavily into the tropes of that series. Once the series finally starts leaning into its real identity, a dry-witted hack and slash fantasy, the series is much more consistent both tonally and narratively.

Henry Cavil is solid as Geralt of Rivia and the supporting cast of Joey Batey as Jaskier, Freya Allen as Ciri and even more so Anya Chalotra as Yennefer are all great in their respective roles delivering some great moments throughout the season.

(And lest you forget this earworm...)

“The Witcher’s” early season struggles keep it from being as tonally or narratively consistent as “The Mandalorian” but where the monster slayer beats the bounty hunter is that it has overall more compelling drama and has more to say, leaning much more heavily into the thematic greys of the plot. There are tons of problems with “The Witcher” on a story-telling level but you can definitely say it cares more about adding some depth in between the more pulpy aspects of the story which is something you can’t say as much for in “The Mandalorian.”

Of course, I’m partially overselling “The Witcher” a bit here, it’s not anywhere near “Game of Thrones” best (yet at least), and on the flipside one could argue that “The Mandalorian’s” more subtle sense of story-telling does its themes better. But when it comes down to these two shows you get somewhat similar story-telling ideas, mostly involving both characters and their smaller counterparts, in two very different genres with equally diverging conclusions to their respective seasons. 

(🎵 Toss an “Oof” to your Witcher...🎵)

All in all, they’re both good and worth a watch and I think they deserve a chance to evolve and hopefully showcase more of what they have to offer moving forward.

“Parasite” wins Best Picture! Many people have some hot takes, including the president...

Last month one of my favorite films of 2019 “Parasite” won Best Picture at the Oscars. It’s a movie that is becoming increasingly relevant as elites and celebrities alike are getting front of the line testing despite being asymptomatic in the middle of pandemic and think they can assuage our concerns and dread by poorly singing “Imagine” together within the comfort of their McMansions.

It’s about as a good time as any to revisit this movie, I mean where else are you going to go during this timeline, and at a later date I’ll write something more extensive about it eventually (hopefully) but first here’s a helpful video on one particular thing that came out after director Bong Joon Ho took home the night’s top honors:

 “Cats” is still a fever dream of madness

Back in late December, I watched “Cats” for science, as I had AMC A-List and a friend crazy enough to join me. I figured it would be bonkers and unlike anything I had seen before in the worst way but even then, I don’t think I was truly prepared for what I ended up seeing that fateful night.

I remember quite vividly going to the bar inside the theater and ordering a stiff drink beforehand to numb the pain and the bartender asking “So what are y’all watching tonight?” and beginning to laugh manically like an insane asylum patient at the innocuousness of the question. Walking into the theater was like that feeling you get before getting on a particularly scary-looking rollercoaster at Six Flags but instead of the pre-ride jitters eventually subsiding to the eventual fun and joy of the ride, only a deep sense of existential dread built up and sustained itself through what felt like six hours of the most baffling thing put to screen in front of my eyes ever.

(The music that played in my head as I exited the theater...)

Have any of you watched the Stanley Kubrick movie “Eyes Wide Shut” before? You know the scene when Tom Cruise is walking around in his mask observing the strange occult sex orgy going on around him at the mansion? That’s kind of what “Cats” felt like except way more terrifying, somehow MORE sexual, and definitely crazier.

(Is...this some type of...intepretative dance to summon an eldritch horror??)

There’s a voyeuristic terror that comes from sitting in that theater room as you watch bipedal humanoid looking felines dance to confusing songs about “Jelicle” cats (whatever the fuck that means) and all other manner of things that should NOT take human form throughout it’s near-endless runtime. A lot was made about Rebel Wilson and the disgusting roach people she consumes but NO ONE warned me about the frankly HORRIFYING mice children in the same scene!

(I am not perusing the internet to find that image again for y’all. I have enough nightmares each night...)

The saddest thing about the whole movie is everyone, save for Ian Mckellen who seemed to be acting as if a gun was pointing at him offscreen and Judi Dench who looked 100 percent like a geriatric in her digi fur, was giving the movie their fullest effort in what can only be described as a Titanic-sized level of hubris by all parties involved. This movie really needed a “Chaostician” involved in evaluating the production for studio heads and shareholders because there were definitely NOT enough people on this project wondering whether or not this film SHOULD exist...

(Dr. Ian Malcolm coming to Universal Pictures to access the film.)

What has “Cats” wrought upon this world? The universe has been clearly out of balance since this movie came out and while I’m not saying it’s director Tom Hooper’s fault, I’m not saying it isn’t either.

“Cats” is one of those things, much like The Matrix that cannot be simply described but must be seen to believe. It’s one of the worst things I have ever seen onscreen but with the right group of people and a few stiff drinks it’s certainly an experience you won’t forget. Consider it for your next Google Hangout during this apocalypse.

  Anyways, that about wraps up my thoughts on the last few months. Going to try to be more consistent going forward especially given how much more time I have now to write, for better and worse. But more importantly, just want to say stay safe y’all. It’s going to be a process to get through this and while things are more likely to get worse before they get better there will be a day when this all ends and some normalcy may yet return to our life but in order for us to get there we need to remain vigilant. 

So stay at home, wash your hands, and if you want to watch movies just order it online for now and we’ll just wait until aaaallll this blows over…hopefully.

Don’t panic...

[ian-the-anion]

How does the narrator have so much info on monsters and items? Magic. [Undertale theory]

Slightly more refined version of a theory I had previously posted to Reddit.

Screenshots are a courtesy of @nochocolate​​, @determinators​​, u/HylianAngel & Funny756. Some of the screenshots are from version 1.0, so they might be outdated.

Something that might go over the heads of many people when playing the game is the fact that the narrator has info on almost all the monsters and items from the underground, and sometimes even describes what they are thinking or feeling. Most probably wouldn’t pay any mind to this and just dismiss it as the “omniscient narrator” doing its job, however as many of you may know the narrator isn’t omniscient:

They don’t know what a water sausage is, and learn its name at the same time as us.

They don’t recognize much of the equipment in the True Lab.

They incorrectly describe the Monster Candy as having a “non-licorice flavor”.

They incorrectly describe Frisk’s actions when fighting one of the Amalgamates.

The fact that the narrator has info on most of the monsters and items, and even seems to be able to read their minds becomes even more problematic when you consider what is arguably the most prominent Undertale theory, Narrachara, as although we don’t get an exact timeline it’s heavily implied that there is a long gap of time between Chara’s death and the events of Undertale, so they wouldn’t know the details of many of the items and monsters, and they obviously can’t read minds (Unless you believe Undyne’s theory that humans have mind control powers). Some examples of the narrator seemingly reading the monsters’ minds:

Temmie forgot her other attack.

CHILLDRAKE - ATK 12 DEF 7 | Rebels against everything!! Looking for its friend Snowy.

ICE CAP - ATK 11 DEF 4 | This teen wonders why it isn't named 'Ice Hat'.

Ice Cap is thinking about a certain article of clothing.

Glyde is thinking of new slang for the word "cool." Like "freakadacious."

Papyrus is thinking about what to wear for his date.

Papyrus is thinking about what to cook for his date.

Shyren thinks about doing karaoke by herself.

Shyren thinks about her future.

Froggit doesn't seem to know why it's here.

Final Froggit knows exactly why it's here.

Undyne thinks of her friends and pounds the ground with her fists.

And whilst there has been an attempt to justify this* it leaves much to wish, as it relies heavily on conjectures and leaves many questions unanswered. Nonetheless, there is plenty of evidence that, like saving, loading, ATK, LV, determination, etc, this is yet another instance of Toby trying to integrate game mechanics as part of the Undertale universe – it’s not that the narrator already knows this info, but rather often monsters are the ones who provide it, and items are also often embedded with theirs.

I feel like I should say this upfront: I know nochocolate already made a post on this. I did come across it when looking for screenshots while writing this, but I did also reach this conclusion on my own. Despite them having already made a theory on it I figured I should chip in on the matter, since there is a lot of evidence they don’t mention, and they also don’t talk about items.

Names

Let’s start with names. The fact that names are provided by the monsters themselves is made pretty obvious, as one of the Froggits in the Ruins outright tells us that yellow and pink names are actual “things” the monsters own*. Besides this we also have three more clues that make this even clearer:

Temmie misspells her own name during battle.

We don’t get to see Endogeny, Reaper Bird and Memoryhead’s names until after they’ve calmed down. So either they can’t or don’t want to show us their info, possibly because of their fractured minds.

During the fight with Asriel, first his name in the menu is "Asriel Dreemurr", later when the rainbow effects start, the letters of his name start moving around and are also rainbow-colored. Later when he enters his true form the rainbow effects are gone, and his name changes to just "Asriel".

Stats

Stats are also an easy one.

Temmie doesn’t give us her stats, but rather says that she’s “RATED TEM OUTTA TEM”.

Glyde also refuses to give us his stats.

We also don’t get to see the stats of Endogeny, Reaper Bird and Memoryhead, or even get the option to check Lemon Bread.

Check

While the check text is a bit more tricky, once again the clues we have point towards the conclusion that the info we see in them is often provided by the monsters themselves.

Chilldrake’s description tells us that he’s “Looking for its friend Snowy”, so not only does he give us his info, but he outright tells us what he’s doing at that moment.

Sans' check could be a joke he put there himself, as it says he's the "easiest enemy" despite being arguably the hardest.

Undyne’s description also points towards this conclusion, as her description reads “The heroine that NEVER gives up.”:

This emphasis on “never” is one of her mannerisms, as we see her do this multiple times throughout the game:

(When calling her in the room hidden behind the waterfall) - When I feel like relaxing, I always take a break there. That means NEVER!! I HATE RELAXING!!

(When calling her next to the bird) - That bird will carry anyone past the gap. It NEVER says no. When I was younger, it gave me a lift. It took an hour... But this bird NEVER once thought of giving up!!!

(When hanging out) - I mean, look, he was SUPPOSED to capture you... and he ended up being FRIENDS with you instead! I could NEVER send him into battle!

(If you kill Papyrus before fighting her) - Look. Papyrus didn't come to his meeting today. Say what you want about him. He's weird, he's naive, he's self-absorbed... But Papyrus has NEVER missed a meeting.

(Alphys even makes a point to do the same if we ask her to roleplay Undyne during the date) - "Ngahhhh!!! Hey, Alphys! You look cute today! Which I say often! But platonically because I would NEVER like you.”.

Besides, having never met Undyne before, the narrator wouldn’t know of her resolve to never give up, so either the narrator is someone who knows Undyne or this info was quite simply given by Undyne herself.

During our rematch with Undyne her description changes to “This time, don’t hold anything back!”, a message put up there by Undyne herself.

It wouldn’t really make any sense for Frisk or the narrator to incite us to fight in a pacifist route (even using a real attack rather than the “Fake attack” option does f*ck all since Frisk has no intention to fight). Meanwhile Undyne was the one who wanted the rematch herself, and is even letting us make the first move, so she obviously wants to fight. She also uses this exact same phrase moments prior, when inciting us to turn up the heat of the stove:

And once again towards the end when her and Alphys are about to kiss:

Showing us that this is yet another of her mannerisms.

When checking Memoryhead the narrator just outright tells us “No data available.”, meaning Memoryhead didn’t give them any info, and apparently the narrator couldn't come up with a description of their own. Only after we’ve placated the amalgamate do we get a description, and it simply reads “MEMORYHEAD”.

When checking Reaper Bird his description is Whimsalot, Final Froggit and Astigmatism’s checks overlapped, and the same thing happens with its dialogue, which shows us that this isn’t the narrator’s doing (and why would the narrator do that, anyways?).

Items

The info of items also seems to often be embedded in the item itself, as we see several similarities with how the info of monsters is given to us.

We don’t get to see how much HP the Dog Salad recovers, and the same thing happens with the Snail Pie, meaning that just like monsters can refuse to give their info, the info in items can be omitted.

The description of the Monster Candy says that it has a “distinct, non-licorice flavor”, yet when we use it the narrator says that it tastes like licorice, so the info in the item was wrong.

Mind you, even after using it the narrator never updates their description of the Monster Candy, meaning that they aren’t saying what they think of the item, but rather just reading the info they are given.

Differently from every other item, whose names are properly capitalized, that is not the case for the Temmie Armor.

This not only would be weird for the narrator to do since the name of every other item is properly capitalized, but also happens to be what Temmie calls it on her shop, and is also consistent with Temmie misspelling her own name as mentioned previously.

Temmie also often doesn’t capitalize her phrases properly when we’re fighting her, hence everything points towards the conclusion that Temmie was the one who named the “temy armor” like that.

The description of the Snowman Piece also indicates that the info of the items is embedded in them, as it reads:

Which is a message likely put there by the Snowman himself.

Whilst another possibility is that the narrator is the one reiterating the Snowman’s request, this doesn’t seem to be the case. The narrator has no qualms about us eating the Snowman Piece even in the pacifist route, and in the genocide route we still see this same message despite Frisk taking a piece of the Snowman before he can even finish making his request, and when checking the remains of the Snowman the narrator describes it as “(A useless pile of snow.)”, hence they'd have even less reason to care about the Snowman's request.

A question that might arise is whether this could also apply to items that humans made, as seems to be the case with some of the weapons and armor. It's a common theory that some of the items we find were left behind by the humans that fell before Frisk, such as the Burnt Pan, Cowboy Hat, the Torn Notebook, etc, as seems to be indicated by the fact that we see these items during the fight with Flowey when fighting the different souls.

Of course, it’s possible that they didn’t enter the underground with these items, but rather found or bought them and equipped them during their adventure, however I think that the probability that they did in fact already enter the underground with these items is reasonable enough that this is something worth addressing: Could items made by humans really be magical?

And the answer is that yes, we do have an example of this: The Bandage. This is an item that Frisk has from the very beginning of the game, and just like other armor we get in the game it influences our stats. And when we unequip it and use it during battle, we instantly recover HP - just like the items made by the monsters which, as Big Mouth tells us, instantly convert into energy. So although there are items which don't seem to be made of nor infused with magic, such as the stick Frisk has with them or the Worn Dagger, even items made by humans can be made of, or be infused with magic, as is the case with the Bandage - something which is further corroborated by the fact that we see humans using magic at the opening of the game.

How is this possible? Magic. (But seriously, it’s magic)

One of the books in the library tells us that monsters express themselves through magic:

And it seems that this is what Toby meant when adding this line – he was trying to add a justification to the fact that we’re able to see monsters’ names, stats, check text and sometimes even their thoughts. Monsters give the narrator their info through magic, which also explains the erratic behavior when checking the amalgamates, since they are several monsters melted together.

The same thing happens with many items, which are either made out of or infused with magic (We’re told by Big Mouth that monster food doesn’t spoil, and that when eaten it converts perfectly into energy). In the same manner that monsters, who are mostly made out of magic, can give us or omit their info if they wish, the same happens with items, which is why the Snowman can leave a message in his piece, why they can have incorrect information in them such as with the Monster Candy, or just not have any info at all like with the Dog Salad.

This is not to say that the narrator never gives a description of their own, of course. Sometimes the narrator just describes the monster themselves, such as in Endogeny’s case, since they didn’t give us any information initially, even their name:

Or in Glyde’s case, who also doesn’t want to give the narrator any info:

There are also cases where it seems the narrator is given info by the monsters, but they also chip in themselves, such as in Vulkin’s case:

Or in Napstablook’s case, where whatever it is that Napstablook told the narrator it made them reach the conclusion that Napstablook doesn’t have a sense of humor:

In summary, while there are instances where the info and descriptions we get could be justified as the narrator knowing the monsters or simply stating the obvious, there are those which can’t be explained that easily. Nonetheless, it seems that Toby tries to add a justification to these instances by outright telling us that monsters express themselves through magic, and that they are the ones who provide us their names, besides giving us obvious examples where the monsters and items provide us their stats and descriptions.

[pineforphantompain]

Okay, so this is kind of going to be a rant about the latest episode of WCTH because I am already upset about it. Warning: this is quite negative. There are two major things that I dislike just from the preview, but I’ll just start with the stuff with Lucas. 

I want to preface by saying that this comes from a place of love. I love Lucas Bouchard, probably a little too much actually, and he and Elizabeth are great together. However, I am very disappointed with the particular choice to have him send Elizabeth’s writing to his mother without asking her because 1) I hate this sort of plot line all the time. I was worried that “Elizabeth feels betrayed by Lucas” would be something like this, because it’s just a specific thing that I really dislike and it doesn’t make sense. 2) It doesn’t make sense for the timeline/pacing of Elizabeth writing her novel… like she’s still working on the first draft right? Couldn’t we let her do some rewriting and editing before sending it to anyone, and especially before considering contacting publishers? The way writing is frequently portrayed is also particularly annoying to me, but whatever I can live with that. The biggest problem is 3) It doesn’t make sense because it is incredibly out of character. (This is way too long, so more under the cut about why this is not consistent with his character).

I have spent a concerning amount of time thinking about this man; I know who he is. Doing something like this usually requires being either impulsive and thoughtless, or disrespectful, assuming that one knows better than the other person, to make decisions for them that the other person ought to be a part of. I don’t know which reason I’m supposed to believe it is for a character who has consistently been so thoughtful, considerate, and respectful to Elizabeth. How am I supposed to believe he would ever do something like this without asking because he “thought [she]’d say no”?? That absolutely is more reason to ask, if you don’t want to risk hurting her and destroying the trust between you. This is a serious betrayal of trust, and she has a right to be angry. Elizabeth deserved to make the choice about who to share her writing with. The fact that she chose to share something so important with Lucas was incredibly special and meaningful, and it has now been ruined. It’s very hard to believe that he would do that. He cares about Elizabeth, about making her happy, and about what she thinks of him. In everything he has done for her, he has been careful and considerate, quick to worry and backtrack any time he may have overstepped or she isn’t completely thrilled. This is not something he would do. To think about this let’s consider some of the things he has done for her: donating the library, asking her to the reading, and reading her work.

Last season, Elizabeth wanted to set up a library for the town, and was looking for possible space to do so, although the prospect of the town agreeing to pay for it wasn’t looking great. Lucas, having an extra building laying around, decided to donate it to the town (side note: I do not personally believe this was entirely because he likes Elizabeth, only partially. He also sees the value of a library and wants to ingratiate himself with the community, not just impress Elizabeth specifically.) When he presents her with the space, he shows it to her as it is, a little run down, not perfectly set up for a dream library. Rather than doing everything for her, which would have been more impressive in the moment, but left her out of the process of creating something she had been working for that was important to her, he offers what she was asking for - the space if she wants it. This is very different from going behind her back to do something for her, that she’d probably want and appreciate at some point, maybe, but has not asked for. 

Next, I’d like to mention some of his behaviour when asking her to go to the reading, specifically how concerned he is about pushing her or making her uncomfortable. He’s noticeable nervous when he first asks, as well as when she comes to the saloon later to give him her answer. After he brings out the tickets, and she briefly seems a little taken aback, he’s so quick to be all like “sorry, I really sprung that on you” over something like this, that’s so minor. He is concerned about the way he asked her, and if it was too sudden (maybe he should have used one of the other versions he probably practiced ahead of time). Then, he gives her time to think about it, and when she approaches him later, since she didn’t give her answer immediately, he goes into “if you don’t want to go…”, she then cuts him off with her yes, but it is clear before then that he doesn’t want her to feel pressured to say yes or feel bad about turning him down, and he would feel sorry if he made her uncomfortable or displeased in any way. He’s worried about any little misstep. He gives her time to think, respects her decisions, does not pressure her to make this is a romantic thing, Yes, once they go, the dinner especially, has some distinctly romantic vibes, but notice how she encourages this line of conversation, while Lucas does not directly discuss the two of them as a couple, or pressure her to make any sort of decisions on that front. He’s very careful in the way he pursues her, and very aware of how she responds. It is obvious how important it is for her to be happy with him, and how worried he is about doing anything she wouldn’t like, so why would he do something that he thinks she wouldn’t agree to, spring it on her suddenly after the fact, and not even seem that apologetic initially?? 

And lastly, let us consider the earlier stuff related to her writing. This is probably why this makes no sense, since he already knows that she can be sensitive when it comes to sharing her writing. When he first offered, she was hesitant, but ultimately let him read her stories. Then, when he gave really positive feedback with a suggestion to be even better, she didn’t love that immediately. He even apologized for overstepping and trying to give advice when he isn’t the professional, but since Elizabeth had had some time to sit with and accept it, she wasn’t upset with him and appreciated the input, but did decide to turn to a new project instead, which she also chose to share with him. I have a hard time believing that he wouldn’t even consider how important her writing is to her, and how difficult it can be to let other people read and have opinions on, even when she agrees to let them. So why would he risk going so far as to have someone she did not give permission to read her work without even offering first?? It just doesn’t make any sense to me.

Obviously this is based on my own interpretation of the characters, coming from a perspective of loving Lucas, and disliking this particular action. I don’t think he would do something this far, without asking first, or even thinking about how she would feel after he sent it off (this would have taken awhile, so he had plenty of time to bring it up). From the beginning he has been and has continued to be considerate and careful in his interactions with Elizabeth, wanting to make her happy and wanting her to think highly of him. He’s quick to worry and start offering apologies when he’s possibly made any minor wrong move, or slightly upset her. I could absolutely believe him doing something to upset her, and make her question how much she can trust him, there are plenty of in character options for that. What I can’t believe is him intentionally doing something where that is an obviously possible outcome. If they chose something that made more sense, I would even like this sort of conflict between them. You could use the fact that he’s not an incredibly open person, he’s private, independent, and very concerned with the image he presents to her. I could absolutely believe him hiding something, or even directly lying to her, if it’s something he doesn’t think she needs to know, it’s really personal or hard to talk about, even just if it doesn’t make him look great. Elizabeth could feel betrayed by him not trusting her or keeping secrets from her. They didn’t even need to use something new, the issues with Henry and the oil business could have worked. Elizabeth trusts Henry and believes so wholeheartedly in the ability for people to change for the better, and that Henry Gowen has done so, that Lucas taking legal action could feel like accusing someone she believes in of still being the “old Henry”, not trusting her opinion, and not even turning to her (or anyone other than Bill) to try another way to resolve things. That could work and be reasonably in character for both of them (as long as Elizabeth wasn’t excessively upset). The point is that some sort of disagreement between them could easily make sense, and be in character, being a meaningful part of their relationship development. This is is just not it, unfortunately. But, hey, what did I expect. Of course they wouldn’t use a conflict that felt natural. Besides, they also need to hurry the writing and publishing process along because it attaches them too much and they can’t just let Elizabeth continue to quietly be working on writing, then revising her novel for too long, she needs to hurry up and become a published author and end up with Nathan. 

Edit: This was written based on the preview, and now having seen the episode, this all still applies, but I have a few things to add. While Elizabeth probably should have been upset for longer, I am glad that this was resolved with minimal time devoted to it (and there was a sincere apology). I’m still not sure why they couldn’t possibly think of some other way to progress the writing plot and deal with the idea of Elizabeth being hesitant about putting her writing out there to possibly face rejection. I did like how excited Lucas was for her though, even if I hate how we got there. I wouldn’t mind some minor, in character meaningful conflict between Elizabeth and Lucas at some point, but I am glad this wasn't supposed to be that, so I can just try to ignore that this ever happened. Also, I still mostly enjoyed watching the episode regardless. 

[douxreviews]

Legends of Tomorrow - ‘The Eggplant, The Witch, and The Wardrobe’ Review

“Mikey! Mikey, Stop!”

Legends continues to ramp up the action as it moves into the final phases of its too short fourth season, and on the way makes the most important statement about relationships that's ever been uttered on genre television.

Have I mentioned how much I love this show?

One of the most consistently impressive things about the way Legends of Tomorrow tells its stories is the way that they're able to take what should be standard, if not cliched, plot set-ups and somehow turn them into something unexpectedly fantastic. Last year, Zari's turn at reliving Groundhog Day gave us the amazing 'Here I Go Again'. This week we get that thing that genre shows love to do wherein one character physically enters another character's mind in order to 'save' them from whatever has caused them to fall unresponsive, and therein finds a world built almost entirely of visual metaphors that help them work through a bit of character development before we get back to the season's larger plot.

So, yes. It's essentially Sara Lance as Willow Rosenberg in 'Weight of the World'. With the small difference that Ava, our Buffy-surrogate in the set-up, is actually able and willing to have a profoundly frank and adult discussion with her inside the, for lack of a better term, 'dreamscape'.

And really, I know that this gets mentioned in these pages a lot, but that's the greatest strength that Legends of Tomorrow has; the way that all of the characters are allowed to behave like rational and emotionally available adults, despite also being time travelling superheroes. It's sure as hell that none of us saw that coming, back in the Vandal Savage days.

Case in point, look at the way that they completely skated past the obvious 'everyone but Ray blames Nora for Hank's death' plotline here. That was obviously what we were being set up for back at the end of 'The Getaway', and yet within the first couple of scenes this week we have the Legends find out that Nora is on the Waverider, she says 'I swear I didn't kill Hank', and Constantine essentially responds, 'Yeah, we totally already figured that out. It was actually fairly obvious, and just the tiniest amount of follow-up on our part established what was really going on. We're totes good, Nora.' And everyone immediately gets on the same page on the issue, because they're all behaving like reasonable adults. That is huge. That just doesn't happen on television.

Even Nate only needs to take the smallest of moments questioning whether or not Nora is guilty before he processes what he's being told and accepts it, and that's the one instance in which they could have legitimately gotten away with a character responding in a destructive way because he was responding emotionally to his father's loss. But they didn't go there, and it cannot be overstated what a positive and refreshing example that is to see.

It's particularly clever of them, because of the way that they pulled the rug out from under us at least twice this week regarding the heavily foreshadowed Nate/Ray schism that we were all bracing ourselves for. Nate finds out that Ray has been harboring the woman he thinks killed his dad, and he responds by listening to what his friend is telling him, accepting what he's being told, and reaffirms their friendship. A little later on we see him accidentally punch Ray in what we assume is going to be the beginning of their 'Civil War' style breakup, only to immediately get ahold of himself, apologize, and embrace his friend. An apology that Ray accepts without hesitation, I might add, because Nate's actions were both completely understandable under the circumstances and immediately apologized for.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the world's greatest ever example of positive male friendship. I'm starting to believe that if we can just get enough people to watch this show, we might actually find a way to counter toxic masculinity. Wouldn't that be nice?

All of which is a roundabout way for me to get to the point that I've been growing to realize that it's really the character relationships that make this show. Witness, for example, the curious level of kindness that Constantine shows to Gary when he wants to hold vigil for Ava. Gary, by rights, should be pure dorky comic relief. Constantine, as a character type, exists almost solely to deflate that kind of comic relief character. And yet when push comes to shove, John goes to Gary's D&D nights. John cares about Gary. That's a nice detail. Similarly, it's notable the way that Mick is willing to help out Zari in something as trivial as crafting sexy text messages to Nate. Mick of even two years ago would absolutely not have been doing that.

Which brings me back to my initial point as regards that important statement about relationships. After a truly enjoyable series of sequences in the 'evil purgatory Ikea', Ava and Sara have some incredibly frank and direct talk about their relationship. And during that talk, they're both so amazingly emotionally available to one another and so willing to be vulnerable with one another. I honestly cannot think of a healthier relationship on television, ever. Not in the sense that they don't have problems, because they clearly do, but in the way tat they're willing to acknowledge them, and admit when they're in the wrong. It's messy, and it's real, and I love every second of it. And just when I think it can't get any better, Ava says;

"Let’s be honest, neither of us needs anybody. But you are who I want."

Yes. That. A million times, that. Can we amplify that message about a billion times, until it drowns out all the rom-com 'I need you to complete me' bullshit? Because that would be wonderful.

Be more like Nate and Ray, people

So what have we learned today?

To stop including this section in the reviews, because trying to condense a logically consistent universal rulebook of how timeline changes work in this fictional universe is absolutely nothing compared to what we should be learning from the character relationships. Also, clearly no one involved in the show is worrying about it.

Everybody remember where we parked.

This week the Waverider pretty much stayed where it was in Washington D.C., 2019. At least, it logically must have been sine Zari could send texts to that year, and Ray bounced back and forth between the ship and the Time Bureau.

Sara, meanwhile, went to actual literal purgatory to rescue Ava's soul. Purgatory, in this case, being an obvious Ikea knock-off called 'Megastor', complete with umlaut.

Quotes:

Ray: "Hey Sara! Great news. Hank was killed by a demon!" Nora: "'Great' was not the word he was looking for."

Ray: "She’s not a liability. She’s a survivor."

Sara: "You two are with me. (To Zari) Woman the ship."

Gary: "Conspiracies, embezzling, paper trails. I feel like Julia Roberts in Erin Brockovich."

Nate: "If this is my dad’s mistress I’m gonna jump out a window."

Sara: "Ava, if you check out, you die." Ava: "Well that’s kinda on the nose, isn’t it?"

Charlie: "Being honest, wind powers- just not that scary." Mick: "Yeah, you’re like a magical hair dryer."

Nate: "Yeah, hi. We’re looking for Mr. Uh… Mr… T."

Zari: "I don’t even know why I’m talking to you two about it. You don’t even date humans." Mick: "Love’s love."

Nora: "I know how hard it is to watch someone you love become a demon." John: "Yeah, well too bad there aren’t any Beebo’s around to hug it to death."

Mick: "Here. Use words. It’s erotic, but vulnerable."

Bits and pieces:

-- Yes, I realize that they were actually in purgatory, where her soul was currently stuck, but all the semiotic rules at play here clearly were working on the understanding of 'dreamscape'.

-- So apparently Neron wanted Ava's body to host somebody called Tabitha, I assume she's his demon girlfriend.

-- The trope of the bad guy having a favorite whistle-tune so that we can identify what body he's jumped into later is super clichéd and tired. I still didn't see it coming that he'd end up in Ray though.

-- You should absolutely never pay less than $800 for a mattress. Under any circumstances.

-- It's not clear what actually happened to Nora in that ritual. Are she and Ray going to end up as Tabitha and Neron? I'd be down for that.

-- Absolutely nothing about Hank's magical creature zoo makes sense, and he certainly wouldn't have needed a demon's help to set it up. I hate everything about that plotline, with the exception of Mikey T, who is awesome.

-- Zari, Charlie and Mona giggling about texting boys shouldn't have been charming, but was completely 100% adorable.

-- Dirty secret time, I adore assembling flatpack furniture. Honestly, it's my favorite thing in the whole world. I'm not kidding.

-- The effect of aging and de-aging as the sat on the mattress was really nicely done. A very clean low tech solution which worked well.

-- I'm actually really surprised at how quickly Mona has begun feeling like a natural part of the team.

A really good episode with a lot of really positive things to say about adult relationships, both romantic and otherwise. I just wish it hadn't involved the stupid magical creatures zoo plot, because it's stupid and muddies the waters as to what Neron actually wants to accomplish.

Three out of four flatpack dressers.

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.

[secretlymagneto]

Why We Hate Steve’s Ending so Much: The Continuity of a Character Arc (Endgame Spoilers)

The comics and Marvel movies have never had direct continuity. Take Quicksilver. In Avengers: Age of Ultron, he was not a mutant at all, and his entire character arc of being the son of Magneto was erased. In the X-Men movies, (Days of Future Past, Apocalypse) he has another name, is more American, and has a totally different personality. In the comics, he’s a serious leader who reflects upon himself and his ultimate fate of becoming like or avoiding his father. Each of these iterations is vastly different. Sometimes, comic to movie adaptations change. Even movie to movie, if they are set in different universes (MCU or X-Men). 

This shouldn’t, however, be the case for things that take place in the exact same universe. 

i. The Glaring Issues

There’s something about retconning a character or their character arc in a supposedly consistent franchise that bothers me. Perhaps it’s because it’s never said if this story takes place in the same universe or not. Sometimes characters change from world to world, which would make sense. Even the comics do not bother me nearly as much since modern iterations of characters need to change with the times.

It is when the writers and directors of their own material become confused that the usually excusable retconning has gone too far. That’s right, I’m talking about Endgame again. 

ii. The Writers

The writers of Endgame, the ones who orchestrated the ins and outs and likely fixed most of the plot errors, have stated that Steve and Peggy are in a continuous timeline that has and will always be canon. This follows the prevailing time travel theory that you cannot change the future through the past, and that the events that you do alter will not alter anything but only be inevitable. (AKA, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban time travel). 

In the Markus-McFeely version, Steve would have to lay low in fear of being discovered as Captain America. He shouldn’t alter or doom the timeline he is in, in fear of splintering it. Additionally, he’d have to sit by and do nothing as he witnesses history unfold before him. Do you really think Steve wouldn’t join the Civil Rights movement? That he would watch the Cold War or the Vietnam War from his nice little suburban home? He’s STEVE ROGERS. He does unreasonable things all the time just because he wants to make a difference. Even if he gave up all the heroics, his moral compass would be far too great to allow him to remain passive during historic events just so he doesn’t fuck up time itself. (Also he kisses Sharon who would be his niece and that is so gross on so many levels)

They wrote all of the Captain America movies. They know that Steve’s main character arc is about moving on. Peggy tells him to move on. In Avengers: Age of Ultron, he says that the man who wanted a family and a settled down life was “buried in the ice”. He talks about how life has changed, and how he has changed with it. He talks about moving on in Endgame. His character essentially regresses, and for people who worked on these movies and wrote his arc, they should be able to round out his ending in a way that suits this narrative. Not one that makes him go back. 

iii. The Russos

In the Russo theory, Steve goes back in time and then creates a splinter timeline. (Technically, this allows him to change history seeing as he’s from another time). This being said, what if he changed time too much? If he saves Bucky, there’s a possibility that certain deaths won’t occur in his timeline, therefore creating a divergence that could possibly doom it. He’d also have to deal with the fallout of having two Steves. Does he have to deal with the conflicts in all the Avengers movies again? Does he just get his younger self to do it? 

What about Peggy’s canonical husband and children? *cough* from the show *cough* He interrupts her destined life in order to be with her, and he knows she would be happy with them but for some reason, he really wants to go back to his ex when their relationship isn’t even certain. They were in a crisis situation when they met. Would they really remain just as compatible in the aftermath? I love Steve and Peggy’s dynamic. I think it’s really cute and I think that they have genuine chemistry, but I also know that they’ve only been dating for less than a year and the way Steve goes back in time basically makes his relationship with Peggy a “certainty”. If it doesn’t work out, what’s he going to do? Leave? Wouldn’t Steve feel guilty of depriving Peggy of her ACTUAL husband?

As I’ve said before, Steve would never leave Bucky behind, either. After he spends three movies trying to save him, there would be no reason for him to leave so soon. 

iv. Counterarguments

Some people say “why should it matter? Steve can still be a good friend even when he’s old.” This is true! But he also misses a lot of lost time he could be spending with Bucky. Peggy had literally told Steve to move on. Bucky had barely interacted with 21st century Steve, on the other hand. Now Steve abandons him for someone who literally told him to move on and basically does what Peggy does to him. Steve grows old without Bucky like Peggy grows old without Steve. Steve would never burden someone with something that he himself has gone through. He’s empathetic. He cares about people, and he obviously cares about Bucky as he’s gone out of his way to help him destroy 70 years of brainwashing. 

v. Conclusion

The writers are seriously confused as to what they want to happen to Steve, and this is just bad writing. While the Russos say one thing, and the writers offer another, I think that the fact that they have to debate about this post-script conveys just how lazy the writing of this ending is. It’s out of character, narratively unfitting, and has so many flaws that viewers, critics, and even its own producers are scratching their heads. Endings shouldn’t be confusing after a movie is released. The writers and directors should know what they’re doing with their beloved main characters before they set out to do it. 

The continuity of the Captain America story arc in the MCU is a mess, and it’s not Steve from different universes. You can’t blame this on multiverse this time. This is just Steve. Poorly written, weirdly retconned, Steve. I feel bad, seeing as I want him to have a happy ending as well. But this ending makes no sense, and it's glaringly obvious. 

[maevelin]

Do you not like how the pregnancy plot was used in acofas as a plot or because you feel that babies don't belong to that universe?

Well I do feel that concepts of immortality don’t go very well with pregnancy tropes but it depends on how a universe truly works and how a writer makes it work. In the ACoTaR universe it is established that even though pregnancy is not an easy thing to happen it is not an impossibility. And given the established population and the familial relationships we have seen this is not out of the norm for this world and the concept of immortality does have its limitations obviously.

My problem was how this was used as a plot and how it affected the female character. We had Feyre making a big deal about certain things in the trilogy and in ACoFaS, things that mattered to her characterization but ultimately were negated by default. This is what happens with SJM’s writing and it couldn’t be more obvious in ACoFaS. 

For example we get the story of the weaver lady in ACoFaS right? We have the void and the hope that inspired Feyre and I was staring at what I was reading wondering if SJM actually forgot what she wrote in ACoWaR because what she was doing was so contradictory. She aimed for the profound message and I was there rolling my eyes because SHE MADE SURE FOR THAT TO NOT FREAKING COUNT.

So Feyre understands the weaver’s loss and decides to have a child because in case that Rhysand would die like the weaver’s mate did she would not have anything left to remember him by and I was like…anyone remembers the suicide pact? The weaver lady was indeed someone to lead an example and was strong and kept on living and grieved and mourned but did not let that grief destroy her and she found hope in the darkness and ultimately was everything Feyre was not. If anything that story line highlighted the weakness of the main characters. We had the survivors of the war and the attack, people that lost their beloved ones and kept on living and turned on their High Lords for support but if we place that mirror against Feyre and Rhysand what do we get in return? They would never be like those people would they? Because when push would come to shove they would just quit life because they wouldn’t be able to handle the loss. It is just so problematic. Too much love is poison indeed as Rhysand has once said. It turns ugly. And it tainted what SJM was trying to preach in ACoFaS. The weaver was admirable for sure. We didn’t see her taking her life because she lost the love of her life did we? No. And Feyre was inspired by this and made it a big deal when the message SJM promoted in the previous book about her female lead was…if the one you love dies go on an die with them. 

So can anyone explain to me using simple logic what was the point of Feyre deciding to have a child so to have something of Rhysand when with their pact the only thing left would be an orphan child without having anything to remember their parents by because they were idiots and committed suicide because they formed a completely toxic codependent relationship?

The weaver plot with the tapestry and the gift and all that leading to Feyre’s decision were literally completely pointless because SJM made them be pointless by default. How is that a motivation for Feyre when she does not have to worry about it given the moronic bargain she made with her mate? And how is it possible that at no point her mind actually made that connection? A bargain mind you that was created in a post traumatic period for both Feyre and Rhysand and the writer made it all seem ‘romantic’? And how did that tie in in ACoFaS? There was no logic or consistency and it really cheapened the whole thing. It would work with how things were presented in ACoWaR up to a point. If SJM had stopped before that pact in the end it would actually be one of the few saving graces of the book. If she knew where to stop that is. With Rhysand’s intentions for self sacrifice for example while he wanted to ensure Feyre’s survival even in the expense of his own life. This was his goal, this was his motivation. For those he loved and for Feyre in particular to survive even if he had to die fighting for them and for that endgame. It was heroic, it was noble. It made sense with who Rhysand was revealed to be in ACoMaF. And on the other end I was not expecting anything less from Feyre either. This is what you do when you love someone. You want them to live and have a good life even if you can’t be there. And it would also show that life does not come with guarantees even for immortals so every day is meant to cherished with those you love as if it is the last because it very well could be and there are examples for that. And if one is gone then the other lives on and should live life to the full extent not just for them but also in honor of those that they lost that would live through them. That is how you honor a memory and a love story either it has a happy ending or not. And the plot with the weaver would tie in perfectly with that. Only it doesn’t now does it? Because the last pages of ACoWaR and the closure for Feysand’s story there ensured that. Now going around in circles around that is a parody really. Senseless.

And putting all that aside let us focus on Feyre and the timeline here. Let us see how this baby plot fits in Feyre’s story and all the points ACoMaF had made? One of the best parts of ACoMaF was that it subverted certain tropes only for ACoFaS to come like a badly written fanfiction and demolish all that progress. Everything in this story happened in what? A year? Two? More or less. So in that extremely small amount of time you get a girl that has been through hell and went through extremely traumatic situations that affected her mentally and emotionally and made life changing decisions that contradict everything she seemed to have wanted when she was recovering from depression and PTSD. 

In the end of the day you have a very VERY young inexperienced girl that was deprived of kindness and basic care in her whole life and has gone through some very traumatic events in the span of 2 years that are bound to affect her perception of the world and those that surround her. Someone throws her a crumb of kindness and they become perfect in her eyes to the point she glamorizes them beyond logic because she is starving for affection. She is starving to have a loving family. She is starving to be loved and cherished and appreciated. So she just jumps in. With a guy that is 500 years old. That has lived his life. That is also recovering from severe trauma. This is where their relationship is based on and how it is shaped. They don’t think clearly. They are still healing. They gave themselves no time to even see if their relationship can stand in time (outside the concepts of mates and with having immortality looming over them). And there is nothing wrong with people wanting to get things they have been deprived of and chase those dreams till they would make them come true. But at least in stories we should get the gradual development that would get us there and not an abrupt conclusion that counters the progress that was made - in entire books- and the progress that was used as a central axis for the characterization of the characters.

With Tamlin for example such a future and so soon for Feyre was a nightmarish terror. Even Rhysand made it sound like that when he was trying to show her how restricting such a life was and couldn’t understand the rush of it all. You put the basics of Tamlin’s expectations with what we are seeing with Rhysand and Feyre and if you strip the storylines down to their core you see alarming similarities. Excluding the abuse of course. But in the sense of a certain lifestyle that Feyre abhorred and suddenly lives on ACoFaS but somehow this is a dream coming true now. With Tamlin the exact same thing when Feyre was in love with him was still something she didn’t want and for good reason but in the span of months this changes all of the sudden and with Rhysand it becomes perfection when she has not been able to achieve the dreams she had before. But what about Feyre as a unique personality outside her romantic interests? So the only difference in the end is the male she is so her life is regulated only as her worth is defined as a love interest in the narrative? The world is a big place and Feyre still has no idea of it. She does not even fully understand the concept of her Fae nature and of immortality yet. She has not even experienced or enjoyed what she has with Rhysand and their bond either. Feyre in ACoMaF had said she wanted time. Said she didn’t want to become a decorative piece while the High Lord would be active and she would be there to basically breed children, sign letters and host dinners and have people serving her while she would be there to be the rich wife. Does that -especially after ACoFaS- sound familiar? And her not wanting children in the near future was something that was discussed in ACoMaF and it was a big decision and Rhysand respected it. It gave a certain depth in their relationship but also in Feyre’s character that wanted to grow and mature before she would be a mother and a wife. She wanted time to live, to love, to be herself, to be with Rhysand and so on. She wanted independence and to mature. And here we are so soon after and everything is once more negated. 

Not to mention that this feels manipulative in a way. There is the mate bond that is influencing Feyre’s emotions to a big extent and not to mention that she has  already seen the image of her future son which is also influencing her decisions.

And it is just so… simplistic. To take an interesting plot that was one of the parts that made ACoMaF so successful and to erase it completely for no reason just a few books later. This is a pattern that keeps repeating really. SJM makes a certain point, hypes it and then erases it. So what was the point of making it in the first place? More so when she is planning for an extended universe that will stretch far beyond the original trilogy and she could give this later on in a time frame that would make sense.

And I get it when fans that like a ship want such things for their dream couple. And I mean…this is what fanfiction is for. And on the other end I understand and respect when a writer wants to deliver to the fans what they want. It is a great thing to want to please your fans that have supported you and your writing like this and with so much passion. But I feel that it should not come to the expense of your writing to this degree and I am sure that this could have been handled much better and with a more consistent writing that would make the delivery make sense without being so contradictory, sloppy, and messy. You can honor the fans while still remaining true to the story and what made the characters and their dynamic so alluring to the fans in the first place. Those things don’t have to be mutually exclusive. 

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

ASM Annual 2018 rant

There will be spoilers for this and I’m going to presume you’ve already read it so I’m not going to give you a synopsis.

 In short it was at best mediocre and at worst a waste of your money.

 First of all maybe this is just me but the art was not that great. Overly sketchy, under detailed and it failed to capture the time period. If you wanna see a throwback story with art that at worst nods towards the style of the time, check out Untold Tales of Spider-Man or even better ASM Annual 1996, with art work by Ron Frenz and Romita Senior himself!

 I already complained about how Black Cat was written out of character in regards to her attitude to the black costume and how her costume was inaccurate too.

 But miraculously both things come off as WORSE in the full context of the story.

 Going back to the art, Garry Brown directly references Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars #8 where Spidey first got the black costume. So...he is CLEARLY checking the old artwork and using it as reference and yet...he screw up Felicia’s costume.

 And despite what I’ve seen some people say, that it was just an art flub on like one panel of one page no, he draws Felicia multiple times and the costume design is the same, Brown genuinely believed her outfit looked that way or else DGAF and drew it how he wanted. He wasn’t even entirely consistent with his own error because he draws her with white books in one panel of the comic.

 Then we get to the story itself.

 First of all in terms of judging this  story purely in isolation (which you shouldn’t do in general, but ESPECIALLY when it bills itself as an untold tale meaning it’s entire premise rests upon how it fits into the history) it’s at best okay.

 Honestly my biggest take away was like...what was the point of this story?

 Okay, I grant you a story set in the Alien Costume Saga from the symbiote’s point of view diving into its head could maybe be interesting. But you’d have to have something really interesting involved because the symbiote itself was a simplistic animalistic creature back then, it wasn’t the more evolved and twisted entity we saw in the 2000s or in more modern stories. It learned emotions FROM Spider-Man himself.

Like what was there really worth exploring from the symbiote’s POV. It didn’t change by the end of the story beyond the ways we already knew about because again, this is a flashback story.

 So basically we got an extra length story where we learn that the symbiote briefly befriended some kid.

  Wow. That was worth over $4.

 Looking at this story in the context of the time it was raising a million questions for me in terms of how the hell it fit.

 In the story Peter visits Aunt May, but it was in literally the second issue during the ACS that Aunt May and Peter had a huge falling out over his dropping out of grad school, something not resolved until AFTER the ACS wrapped up.

 The impression given by the overall story heavily implies Peter has had the costume for a little while and that the symbiote’s night time joyrides have been draining his energy by the time we get the Aunt May scene. This doesn’t add up because there wouldn’t have been time for that.

  Another arguable problem was Felicia referencing Peter taking the costume to Reed Richards. Peter does do this but much later on and I don’t think Reed’s name ever cropped up between Peter and Felicia back then. Granted, I double checked and Reed had offered Peter the chance to check out the suit from the beginning of the ACS, meaning it’s possible for that he mentioned it to her off panel. But again her attitude doesn’t add up.

 There are a few other Felicia problems too.

  Peter says he was unaware that he and Felicia were on a date, which is weird because they spent MOST of their time together fighting crime and it was made explicit that that was to them what going out to the movies or for dinner was for a normal couple.

This is literally one of Peter’ problems with their relationship, they spent so much time doing that and not just being a normal couple. Hence he broke up with her!

Later Felicia reprimands Peter for being 2 hours late and tells him he’d have to put in more of an effort if he wanted her to stick around.

There is no single moment that explicitely calls this out as OOC for her, but in context this is BS. Felicia was so devoted to her relationship with Spider-Man that she not only gave up her criminal ways (twice) and risked her life but went behind his back to get powers from the Kingpin and lied about it afterwards. She is very obviously not going to say something like that unless she was ribbing him and that was not the impression given off by the scene.

 Finally there is a scene where she enters  Peter’s bedroom via his window to just...watch him in his sleep I guess? Then Peter is slightly weirded out but otherwise chill.

Putting this stalkerish moment aside, it doesn’t jive with either of their characters back then.

On Felicia’s part she had a problem with Peter’s civilian side and preferred to minimize time spent in Peter’s company rather than Spider-Man’s.

On Peter’s part he had a major problem with Felicia coming into his apartment like this because she was being cavalier with his secret identity. A good example can be found in ASM #258 which just so happens to be the conclusion of THE ACTUAL ALIEN COSTUME SAGA FFS!

Then we have the main story itself, the symbiote’s night time activities.

This is a tiny thing but the story explains that the symbiote itself is inducing sleep and controlling what Peter feels during it’s joyrides. This makes sense and is fair enough, up until the point where Peter’s body is being physically injured.

Now, as a lover of the Spectacular Spider-Man cartoon, I will admit my second favourite episode is where the symbiote hijacks Spider-Man’s body and defeats the Sinister Six, only for Peter to wake up with some bumps and bruises he was unaware of. So I feel somewhat hypocritical criticising the story from that angle.

I do not however feel bad at all about asking how the Hell did the symbiote manage to keep Peter asleep when it was literally being put through immense pain and partially slivering off Peter’s body!

Isn’t the whole POINT of symbiosis  that two organisms are one so if the symbiote feels pain shouldn’t Peter as well?

If the symbiote is feeling pain and literally losing it’s grip on Peter’s body, how is it still so in control of what he feels that it’s keeping him asleep?

How does that even make sense from a pure instinctive survival POV?

Moving on the symbiote gets overly aggressive with the criminals it fights to the point where only by taking advice from a kid in it’s immediate company does it help rescue people sans any form of gbh.

I dunno what the point of this was beyond I guess making it more explicit that the symbiote wasn’t JUST swinging around but also fighting crime. Maybe to foreshadow the symbiote when it and Brock went full lethal protector?

Anyway one aspect of the story which is inconsistent is whether anybody even recognizes Spider-Man. Now yeah in the ACS people DIDN’T recognize Spider-Man in his new black costume at first so this lack of recognition could be excused depending upon how early in the timeline this story is supposed to take place. Problem is the story doesn’t occur over like one or two days it’s obviously unfolding across various nights in which the black costume has been joyriding Peter. Peter himself is feeling the fatigue which if this was one or two nights wouldn’t add up.

In the first scene of the costume going out crime fighting a woman recognizes Spider-Man immediately, implying that there HAVE been at least some photos in the papers showing the new suit and confirming this as the same guy.

However later when we meet the kid the suit befriends in that scene the kid is seemingly unaware this guy even is Spider-Man referring to him as a new hero.

That same night the kid gets abducted by Hammerhead who explicitly calls him Spider-Man. But when the suit rescues the kid he says he doesn’t know who he is but that he could be a good hero someday.

I honestly tried to consider that the kid was referring to Spidey’s civilian identity. But the fact that in their first and last meeting he is talking about how the symbiote could be a good hero someday and told it to be less aggressive and more caring for civilians, implies that the intention was for the kid to STILL not realize this was Spider-Man.

This gets even dumber in the context of Marvel’s timeline. However you slice it if modern Spider-Man stories happen in 2018, then the ASC should’ve happened at the biggest of pushes like 10-12 years ago in 2006, probably even more recently.

How in the Hell does anyone, let alone a kid who’s likely consuming more media than older people, in like 2006 or later NOT hear about how this new dude in black is Spider-Man?

Even if he doesn’t follow the news that’s one of those things you’d pick up via osmosis.

Especially since the media doesn’t shut up about fashion and celebrities and in this case a celebrity bigger than any real life ones has massively changed his costume (and now more closely resembles notorious vigilante the Punisher).

Now let’s talk about the symbiote’s violence.

The story implies the symbiote is trying to help Peter by fighting crime for him as he sleeps. Except the symbiote is violent in a way Spider-Man never is, maiming and killing people.

This makes sense...for Venom. But the symbiote itself is not inherently violent beyond bestial instincts. It committed immense violence in the company of Brock because Brock himself was a violent disturbed individual.

If the symbiote wants to serve it’s host, it’s ‘friend’, by doing what he routinely does why does it go so much further than he does?

In fact if it’s bonded to him and knows his inner thoughts enough to induce images of Uncle Ben and Gwen Stacy then surely it is aware that Peter doesn’t act like that?

A far bigger problem is the general public’s reaction to all this.

Again, people obviously know that black costume Spider-Man is the same guy as the dude with the red and blue suit.

So...why is NO ONE reporting that Spider-Man is maiming and killing criminals?

Spider-Man had been demonized for YEARS by Jameson and framed/blamed for various crimes including the murders of George Stacy, Norman Osborn and IIRC Gwen Stacy too!

If Spider-Man was now acting this way it’d be MAJOR news!

In fairness I guess the implication is that the symbiote did this stealthily enough that not too many people found out about it. And every witness that did either forgot about or shut up about it.

Which seems...kind of difficult to believe. It’s difficult to believe, especially if this story took place in the CCTV laden 2000s, that NO ONE saw this happen or else forgot or else kept it quiet. In Hammerhead’s case I do not understand WHY he never spoke about it and why he never ever brought it up to Spider-Man ever again.

 Then we get the biggest ‘You really didn’t put much effort into this at all did you’ moment of the story right towards the end.

 Okay so the implication is that this whole adventure with Hammerhead and the kid might’ve happened during ASM #258 itself when the symbiote took control of Peter’s body in the middle of that issue. I say this because the page immediately after the symbiote tucks peter back into bed is Peter taking the costume to Reed Richards.

 I do not know why but for some reason the idea that the climax of this annual transpired specifically during ASM #258 just bothers me for some reason even though I can’t seem to find any explicit contradiction or problem with it doing so.

 The same cannot be said of the actual scene involving Reed.

 The scene plays out differently in various small but noticeable ways and one big egregious ‘This is the laziest lack of editing and research ever’ kind of way.

I’ll list them out in a second but it’s easier to just to a side by side comparison of ASM #258 and this annual.

·         The ‘choreography’ (for lack of a better term) of the scene is different.  In the annual Reed and Spidey are sitting down and in the middle of examining Spider-Man’s suit when Reed delivers the news that it is alive. In the original story Reed had already conducted all his tests and Spidey was waiting around to hear the news which Reed delivered to him and Johnny whilst all three of them were standing upright.

·         Reed’s dialogue explaining the symbiote is alive is totally different and far more blasé, whereas originally it was longer and ended with the reveal as a shock, Peter reacting accordingly

·         Peter is casual about learning his suit is alive and about removing it only getting distressed when it starts clinging to him.

·         Reed wasn’t wearing a lab coat in the original annual

·         Reed was accompanied by Johnny

·         The Sonic Blaster is totally different, resembling a gun you could hold in one hand whereas in the original issue it was shaped more like a rifle

·         The annual implies Reed busted out the Sonic Blaster almost immediately after the symbiote tightened it’s grip on Peter when there was several panels depicting Peter’s struggle and Johnny and Reed’s attempts to help him and retrieving the Sonic Blaster

·         Oh yeah and there is the teeny weeny fact that in the original story, unlike this annual, PETER DIDN’T HAVE HIS MASK OFF!

 I’m sure there are some who will be like “Oh get over it it’s a tiny little mistake from a comic over 30 years old”.

 NO!

 This is not a tiny mistake.

 When your series is about a superhero with a secret identity who knows that identity and when is a HUGE deal innate to the narrative.

 But what makes this mistake so transcendentally lazy on the part of the writer and/or artist and definitely the editor(s) is that Reed NOT knowing Spider-Man’s identity is  a plot point for the rest of the story!

You ever see a video game, info book or collage of Spider-Man’s costumes and see that one funny looking outfit where he was wearing what looked like a lame blue Fantastic Four outfit and a paper bag over his head?

Yeah, this is where that came from!

Spider-Man didn’t want Reed or Johnny to know who he was so he covered up his face, necessitating Johnny provided him with an old suit and lieu of a mask gave him a paper bag.

Spider-Man is the Amazing Bag-Man for 6/22 pages of the conclusion to the story this annual is directly referencing!

It’s a fairly well known piece of Spider-Man history, being one of the more famously funny moments of Spider-Man lore and one of the great examples of the Parker Luck.

And it was all part of a historically VITAL story. Not just for Spider-Man but think how much of Marvel history has involved one symbiote or another, there were three EVENTS built around them  across the last few years alone FFS!

And the people behind this comic book blatantly didn’t bother to re-read the damn issue, let alone the over all arc!

And the most ironic part about that?

The very last page of the annual includes a message from the editor talking about how interested he was in this era of Spider-Man, how it was one of his favourites and he even recommends trades collecting the story arc!

Like fucking take your own advice maybe?

Two final points to end this rant on.

The impression given by the editor’s message and the over all story was that they seemed to think that they were the first or only people to do a flashback tale about what the symbiote was doing whilst joyriding Peter’s body.

They were not.

In fact it seems like every damn decade someone decides to tell that story.

In 1995 as part of the ‘Planet of the Symbiotes’ Super Specials Dan Slott, in his very first canon Spider-Man story ever, used that idea. And whilst it didn’t shit on the ACS in general it did shit on the character of Jean DeWolff by pretending she never had romantic feelings for Spider-Man.

Because even in his formative days as a young intern cheating his way through Marvel’s door Slott had to fuck up characterization I guess.

In the 2007 as part of ‘Back in Black’ Sean McKeever (he of ‘Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane’ fame) did another storyset during the ACS. It wasn’t wholly about the symbiote’s night time activities but it did more subtly with just a few moments get into the symbiote’s head, depicting it’s loneliness and homesickness. Whilst that story also screwed up Black Cat’s costume there were no other egregious continuity errors, the story fits pretty neatly into the histories of Spider-Man and also the Sandman.

It was infinitely better than this story which I don’t think anyone should ever regard as canon going forward.

P.S. How poorly produced was this annual?

So poorly produced that no one considered that despite it going against the literal meaning of the word this comic is the second  Amazing Spider-Man annual     for 2018!

[aion-rsa]

Is Skyward Sword the Only Link and Zelda Romance Story?

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

If you’re anything like most gamers from a certain era, you probably grew up assuming that Zelda and Link were in love. After all, he is a hero, she is a princess, he was a boy, she was a girl…can we make it any more obvious?

However, the truth of the matter is that nothing is quite that obvious when it comes to Link and Zelda’s relationship. Much like your relationship status on Facebook whenever you felt like stirring up a little drama, the relationship between Link and Zelda over the years has been decidedly complicated.

That’s part of the reason why Skyward Sword has always been one of the most interesting Zelda games from a lore perspective. After years of ambiguity, complications, winks, half-answers, and lingering questions, Skyward Sword gave us a Link and Zelda relationship that couldn’t possibly be interpreted as anything but romantic (even if there is some ambiguity regarding how their relationship ends). The game was even promoted with this “Romance Trailer” that highlights that aspect of the plot:

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

While there is very little debate regarding whether or not Skyward Sword is a Link and Zelda love story, there is a much more substantial (and far more interesting) debate to be had regarding whether or not it is the only real love story in Legend of Zelda history.

“Hold up,” you might be saying. “If Zelda and Link didn’t have a canonical romance until 2011, then why did I grow up believing that they were in love?”

Well, as we mentioned before, elements of the perceived romance between Zelda and Link can be attributed to the fact that most of the guys you see rescuing princesses in fantasy stories do tend to fall in love with them. It’s not exactly the genre’s most beloved trope, but it’s certainly one that has ingrained itself into our collective pop culture consciousness over the years.

To be fair, though, the Zelda/Link love hasn’t just been in our heads this entire time. The popular theory is that the pair end up getting married at the end of the original NES game (even if the sourcing for that claim is somewhat dubious from a canonical perspective), and we see Zelda kiss Link at the end of Zelda II: The Adventure of Link. Granted, the Zelda that kisses him at the end of that game isn’t the Zelda he saved in the original game but rather a version of Zelda from years ago. Look, Zelda lore is…weird.

Speaking of which, we should probably talk about the Link from the 1989 animated Legend of Zelda TV series. That version of Link was more or less a stalker who pretty much refused to help Zelda without asking for a kiss. He was also so insufferably annoying that we honestly think Zelda might have been better off with Ganon than this ’80s movie jock in a green leotard.

It’s around that time that Nintendo became much coyer about Zelda and Link’s relationship. A Link to the Past doesn’t really bother to bring up the possibility of a romantic relationship between the two (outside of an often misinterpreted piece of dialog), and Link’s Awakening doesn’t even feature Zelda (though the character Marin is clearly inspired by Link’s memories of Zelda). At this point, it’s easy to assume that Nintendo decided to abandon the more overt references to Link and Zelda’s romance due to creative preferences, the increasingly complicated nature of the franchise’s timeline, and perhaps the feeling that this just wasn’t meant to be that kind of franchise.

That’s when we enter a prolonged and strange “Will they or won’t they?” period for Link and Zelda’s relationship. Ocarina of Time dances around the issue, but only hints that a romantic relationship may be blossoming. The Wind Waker pretty much abandons the idea entirely in favor of presenting the two as adventuring equals, while Twilight Princess offers the “coldest,” or perhaps most “business-like,” relationship between the pair yet. Nintendo even gave Link more overt love interests during this time to seemingly try to encourage people to stop focusing so much on the Zelda/Link romance narrative.

Interestingly, the Zelda/Link relationship has always skewed more towards intimacy (or at least blossoming romance) in many of the handheld Zelda games. That’s not a universal rule (Zelda wasn’t even in Phantom Hourglass), but for some reason, the pair have almost always been a bit…closer in those games.

That trend reached its apex with the release of 2009’s The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks. That game was originally not even supposed to include Zelda as Link’s adventuring partner, but the developers felt like it would be better to feature her as a prominent side character rather than try to create a new character or simply re-use Wind Waker/Phantom Hourglass‘ Tetra yet again. The result is a Zelda game where Link and Zelda spend an unusual amount of time together (compared to other titles in this series). While that kind of set-up is enough to get shippers talking, the game wasn’t exactly shy about teasing a possible romance. It even ends with Zelda and Link holding hands!

What’s even more interesting than Spirit Tracks‘ implication that its version of Zelda and Link could end up together is the reason that the developers chose to give Link a female partner for that game in the first place.

“I was searching for something that hadn’t been portrayed much, and there was Princess Zelda,” says director Daiki Iwamoto regarding the casting decision. “At first, we hadn’t settled on the subcharacter, and I discussed several things with the staff. Then we thought that, since they’re adventuring together, it would be better to have it be a girl.”

That last part brings us back to the elephant in the room concerning this whole Zelda/Link relationship discussion. There is a heteronormative side to fantasy fiction from certain eras that has, to a degree, trained our brains to see female and male leads together and just assume that they’re going to be romantically involved by the time the credits roll.

Even though Nintendo has historically danced around this romance and, at times, straight-up avoided it, Iwamoto still says that it just made more sense for Link to be with a female character that he obviously ends up having intimate moments with (even if they may or may not be entirely romantic). You could argue that throughout much of the history of The Legend of Zelda franchise, speculation regarding the pair’s romantic relationship has been fuelled by those who either wished the two would get together or just assumed that has to be the case given their situation and genders.

So why did Nintendo decide to finally show Link and Zelda in an obviously romantic relationship in Skyward Sword after dodging the matter for so long? Interestingly enough, Skyward Sword producer Eiji Aonuma thought about cutting the romance angles when the game’s development team (which, it must be said, consisted of quite a few Spirit Tracks developers) initially suggested them. While Skyward Sword‘s developers had to make some cuts to justify including the romance subplot, Aonuma’s decision to leave it in ultimately came down to his simple belief that it was an effective way to get players to care about rescuing Zelda.

“As far as the love story goes, it wasn’t that we wanted to create a romance between Link and Zelda as much as we wanted the player to feel like this is a person who’s very important to me, who I need to find,” Aonuma said in an interview with Game Informer. “We used that hint of a romance between the two to tug at the heartstrings.”

From a meta standpoint, the idea that Nintendo is aware that even hinting at the possibility of a Link and Zelda romance is a pretty easy way to engage people certainly makes a lot of sense. While Aonuma stops short of saying that was somehow their idea this entire time, you could argue that it’s more valuable for Nintendo to simply leave room open for that possibility rather than outright establish a romantic relationship more often.

Of course, that makes it all the more interesting that the one Zelda game that features such a blatant romance story is also the first game in the Zelda timeline. While the versions of Link and Zelda featured in that game are not the same characters we see in subsequent games, Nintendo did clearly establish that the foundation of their relationship (and this franchise) is partially based on their love for each other. Circumstances may have prevented them from leading the life together they hoped to have (at least based on our hopes for how two young people in love might end up), but who is to say that one of Zelda‘s descendants or one of Link’s reincarnations won’t be able to break the curse and live the life that these two were possibly denied so many years ago?

Actually, that’s what makes Breath of the Wild such a fascinating piece of this puzzle. While serious questions remain regarding how Breath of the Wild fits into Zelda‘s chronology, it almost certainly seems to take place at what we could see as “the end” of the current Zelda timeline (or timelines). It’s perhaps no coincidence, then, that it’s the game that not only openly acknowledges the complicated relationship between the various Links and Zeldas over the years but is also the game that shows Link and Zelda clearly growing closer to each other over the course of the adventure. By the end of the game, you could very easily view their relationship as “romantic” or, at the very least, heading in that direction.

While we’ll have to see whether or not Breath of the Wild 2 does anything with that implication, we’re left with the simple conclusion that Skyward Sword may be the only “overt” Link and Zelda romance story so far, but elements of that romance can be found in Spirit Tracks, Breath of the Wild, and, depending on your interpretation of the timeline, nearly every other Legend of Zelda game in some form or fashion.

Sure, it’s a little annoying that Nintendo keeps hinting at romances they seemingly never intend to really do anything with, but there’s something to be said for the ways they’ve paired Zelda and Link together over the years without relying on a relatively simple romantic subplot. Of course, that just makes Skyward Sword even more of an oddity than it already was.

The post Is Skyward Sword the Only Link and Zelda Romance Story? appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3emV71c

[sohelish]

*

sss---spoilers!

so... be.yond li.ght is...

not very good, imho??? really. I wanted to like it so much? and I do? but? also? ...meh?

I maybe even like sha.dowk.eep more because even though it was very tiny and didn’t deliver story-wise... well... neither does be.yond li.ght... not really... at least sha.dowkeep was its own thingy with re-introduction of e.ris and that heartfelt quest where you found her team’s memorabilia in the pit of hive mucus? that alone gave feels.

the new map is gorgeous and icy and amazing (the snow animation, broooooo!)... however...

the dlc’s pretty much re-skinned parts of what we already have seen. there are lots of moments in this campaign that resemble fo.rsaken... a lot! not only.

and sure, there are lots of atmospheric things, like the labs, some of the lore that came out, and the music is great!

but most of the lore is just confirmation of the stuff people have already suspected. there’s nothing drastically new to puzzle the mind so far.

it’s almost like people asked for more e.liksni and bu.ngie recycled some of the fo.rsaken content to give people just that.

the story is lacking.

I must admit... they obviously know that fo.rsaken was their best stuff so they aimed at that aesthetic. I’m afraid it’s a bit too similar but doesn’t carry the same weight.

because even though I like the el.iknsi I don’t like them so much that I’ll just fangirl over them if I see them, I need a compelling story and frankly, er.amis felt more like gh.aul to me. heck, her team had more character than she had and we saw less of them. she’s like... a ‘strong viking lady’... but I’m reading the lore and all I see about her is just: she’s tough, she thinks she’s smarter than others... which is like... every single de.stiny bad guy I mean...

anyway, yeah. the cay.de story was personal to everyone. this story only works if you care about the eli.ksni enough.

I care but can only deem it vaguely cute and bittersweet.

honestly... feels like fanservice to me, only it was cheaply done.

what was it that people were asking? more of the la.st ci.ty to walk around in -- happened at the end of the season.

more eli.ksni -- done. female eli.ksni -- done, working with elik.sni -- done.

but at the same time it doesn’t feel natural. as if boxes were ticked and thrown in our faces. like... here... you asked for this. take-y!

va.riks was responsible for ca.yde’s death? whatever, just a few lines about him being slapped on the wrist. the darkness subclass? who cares if you’re leaning towards the light more, the stranger said you must use the rot now, you use the rot. why shouldn’t we question what she says)))))))))) right? right? who’s to say it’s the good elsie from the good timeline, not some nega-elsie?

er.is and the dr.ifter should be closer to you by now but they are secondary characters to elsie... just standing there... *shrug* by the side of a lady, who shows up a bunch of times and tells you what to do and you listen... be-cause she has a cool character design?

there is no ‘sense of duty’. no... ‘avenge sloan/asher’ or... accept the darkness and maybe you get to save/find sloan/asher.

nah, suddenly we’re all meant to forgive va.riks and use the darkness cause els.ie bray said so... (I don’t give a rat’s ass and var.iks is cute and sly and I actually ship hel with him now but... still... doesn’t feel organic. it’s all chopped up and thrown on the plate without any sauce to hold it together)

and it’s all great... but it also feels forced. I don’t see any consistency in the stuff that’s happening.

Idk... I was hoping bu.ngie would give me that feeling of excitement again? the one I got running through the opening mission with ca.yde? that was so... goose-bump-y???

this campaign feels just as dry as shad.owke.ep story-wise. makes it even worse that it looks like fo.rsaken a lot because it reminds you how good for.saken was compared to this dlc, ya know?

personally, I didn’t expect much but I hoped for the better bc I love this franchise.

now on a more story-mode note. something that bugs me is how za.vala is being set up. again. I swear. I’ve been noticing weird hints like he’s gonna be the bad guy for whatever reason???

and now in the opening scene the way he’s framed on those screens and through that speech... he felt like a di.ctator or an au.tocrat, who strengthened the walls around imprisoned people jdsflkjdkfjkldfjs not sure if I like that. not sure if maybe it’s my imagination again... but everyone is shown with the people: saint, ikora--- and zavala is only on the screen in that sequence (I think), watching you like the ‘big brother’ :/

kinda excited to learn more about exos. love the br.ay facilities. hope to get to read the lore at some point.

oh oh and I do love the concept of: where I come from, the darkness seduced everyone so how about we tame the darkness pre-emptively. big fan of this. however, it was stated in less words than I wanted it to be. I feel like this should’ve been the headline. consume the darkness before the darkness consumes you! and also stop er.amis cause she’s consumed by the darkness. and it ended up being: stop this elik.sni woman cause vari.ks asked and while you’re at it, here’s a splinter xD xD xD

overall... the general aesthetic is right, I think. the accented points are sloppy.

and I’m tired of sloppy. the last studio I supported with coin this much was bi.oware and look where that got me))))))))))