#(WHO KNEW IT EXISTED)
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tshirt that says NO LIVE ORGANISM CAN CONTINUE FOR LONG TO EXIST SANELY UNDER CONDITIONS OF ABSOLUTE REALITY
#i literally JUST finished hill house a few days ago and i already want to reread. Badly. it's sooo so so soo sooooooooo good <33333!!!!!#also completely enamored by shirley jackson's writing style i NEED to read everything she has written ever like right now..#opening lines of ALL TIME btw 👆❗❗❗#r.txt#the haunting of hill house#ALSO i've seen commentary videos on the tv show they made of hill house but from what i remember of it it's SO different from the book???#i think they were all siblings in the show which is??????? like why would you change that part?? i love sibling relationships as much as the#next guy but i feel like the fact that none of them knew each other was such an essential part of the story like why would u change it....#also eleanor was like. an entirely different character who was also already dead in the show i believe??? and dr. montague doesn't exist??#hill house could've been really good as a show idk why they changed it up like that...like was the original story not interesting enough for#you or something?? WHO decided to make that change i just wanna talk 🤨
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In the shape of you, something new.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Better drawn mdzs#Yeah let's toss this in the 'mixed' category. Keeping you all on your toes with the quality of my work in this series.#I had to fire off some expectation-lowering shots to rebuild my energy.#I enjoy opportunities to experiment with formatting and challenge myself B*) I really like how this came out!#In this case; I have been thinking about this comic for nearly a year! The reunion scene!#The start of the festering! The longing LWJ feels contrasted against the reality that WWX has been fundamentally changed.#This is the shape of someone you knew. This is no longer the person you had in your head. Maybe that person never existed.#We build up expectations of who we want people to be - but they are never *who* that person is.#Loving the JC & LWJ parallels with this concept as well; they are both self-inflicted victims of pushing their expectations on WWX.#But we are who we are. We cannot become the idealized version of ourselves that lives in another person's head.#And I love how WWX comes back a little (a lot) horrifying. In his actions and appearance - he has changed. Maybe for the worst.
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Assorted Locations, Ohn'Ahran Plains
They're all Warriors references! 🐱⚔️
#world of warcraft#warcraft#wow#cat#named#i had to cheat with fireheart's picture and take it from the web... sorry! 💔#i knew he existed but he wasn't there when i checked#thank you to the anon who made me aware of them!
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When the test subject they told you was aggressive is actually just angsty and autistic
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I figured if Wheatley were a human he would probably be part of a team that cares for test subjects. Which involves basic medical checkups and general wellness checks. Maybe in Chells case, since she’s so anti-social, he was tasked to be a sort of companion so they could get more information out of her for testing purposes. :3 he’s classified as a nurse and has basic training in it. But he’s not making sense because he’s kinda scared of Chell at first. She just thinks he’s weird and kinda smells bad.
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I have a hc on why Chell is a test subject I’m just gonna try to write it here
Basically her mother was too young and poor to raise a child so she felt it better to put Chell up for adoption. The orphanage she was raised in was being used by aperture to scout out children with certain “exceptional skills”. They noticed that Chell was highly intelligent and a great problem solver, but had no interest in spending time with others. She had no friends. And none of the other children noticed or cared when she left. She was probably adopted by a high ranking scientist and raised for the specific purpose of testing. She has little concept of social norms or things outside of aperture because she was taken from a “normal” environment so young. [like. Before she was 10 maybe? Idk.] but it doesn’t mean she’s dumb or anything, she just doesn’t really get it yk. Sorry if this is actually so stupid and embarrassing ignore me
#portal#portal 2#chell#wheatley#chelley#chell x wheatley#wheatley x chell#autism be damned my girl can be a child soldier#testing on people is bad#especially children#but aperture is bad so i wouldn’t put it past them#this is kinda stupid#I also like to just not think abt her backstory at all#I feel like she wouldn’t care much about who she used to be#because that person is dead and all their share is a body and first name#everyone who knew that girl is likely dead too#so there’s no point in searching for answers that don’t exist anymore#Chell is Chell and she’s okay with that#it’s like 3am sorry I just love portal it’s my special interest#yay#ughghvhghdchhf
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We don't talk enough about the fact that Amelia Pond, s5 Amelia Pond, before the timeline is reset, isn't just a normal orphan. Her parents didn't die, didn't abandon her, and didn't send her away. They never existed in the first place.
And if her parents never existed, then Amelia cannot exist. She is a causal impossibility.
"People fall out of the world sometimes, but they always leave traces." A photograph. A face carved into an apple. Yes. Sure.
A child.
Now that's too big, surely.
But that's what she is. She is exactly the same as these things. A trace. An echo of something that could never be, never was, never could have been.
And the universe should never allow it. A whole person, that's just too much. She could not have continued to exist indefinitely, in normal circumstances, after her parents never existed.
In normal circumstances.
Because the Doctor didn't just save her from things coming out of the crack in her wall. He saved her from going into it. And he didn't just save her from the threat of going into it simply because of its vicinity.
No, by arriving when he did, he interrupted a process that was probably already in motion. And then by arriving again only moments later on a cosmic relative timestream (too quickly for the process to complete) and yet in the local relative timestream, years later --- years of a potential future caught midway through the process of rewriting -- he solidified that existence. Amy is a creature from another timeline, caught in amber. The Doctor prevented her from never existing, but only after she could already never exist.
And so, no one around Amelia thinks about it. Neither does she. There's some kind of consciousness block, because if you thought about it, really thought about it, for two seconds you'd realize she cannot exist. And the human mind can't deal with that. So, to protect itself, everyone's brain simply slides off it before ever noticing. They just assume that her existence makes sense, and don't question it, and don't notice what they don't question, that is staring them in the face.
But of course, to some extent they do notice. They can't think it, but they notice subconsciously that there's something they can't think. They notice there's something wrong with her, something uncanny. And they don't like it, and they alienate her even more because of it.
"Does it ever bother you Pond that your life existence doesn't make any sense?"
#like!!!!!! why arent we talking about this!!!!!!!#amelia pond#amy pond#the ultimate autism metaphor on top of being autistic anyway#doctor who#dw#ndw#dw theory#lavender thoughts#SHE CAN'T EXIST SHE IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE#you called clara the impossible girl but that's amy#and THEN the fact that even after it's all set right#she remains shaped by -- remains deeply traumatized by -- a timeline that never happened; a reality that never was#AUGH !!!!!#some wounds just can't heal even if the thing that caused them never existed in the first place#some wounds remain as a TRACE of the other time just as you yourself were once#THE mental illness rep of all time#and in the big bang of course the doctor had to take the shortcut because if they'd all gone the long way round#she'd have been gone before he got there#as starless universe's little amelia disappeared.... it could be millienia but from another perspective it HAD to be moments#they made it only in the nick of time#and the doctor knew that#pond#the life and times of amy pond#lavender writings
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leona and her soon to be dead husband
before!!!!
#oc: leona#mysims#ts4 edit#ts4#simblr#the sims community#sims 4#i think if i knew how to edit hair id be unstoppable#leona's so hot it makes me SICKKKKKKK#CURRENTLY TEARING MY SKIN OFF#leona wearing black to her own wedding to represent the death of her life shes so dramatic i love her#leona's family forced her to marry salvatore who audra and her eventually kill and fuck like freaks while covered in his blood <3#they've never had control over their lives so them murdering salvatore was their first taste of having real power#their addiction for it started from there#murder wives i love you#enzo edit on the agenda next ENZO FANS RISE UP!!!!!!!!!!#i never usually post the before picture but i think the lighting is a little delicious#i made this photo so much harder to take i forgot relight existed and was using a lamp to try and get the right lighting </3
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Wow Oscar was actually such a cute baby! His expressions now and then are identical truly
the more things change, the more they stay the same
#one of those kids who emerged into the world completely nonchalant#never forget nicole piastri's anecdote about him wanting to walk to school on his own as a kid cus he already knew the way#oscar piastri#op81#wiz.askbox#ignore my SPAG errors rn im on a different plane of existence
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One liners the sequel
#acontextual house#house md#gregory house#james wilson#thirteen#remy hadley#robert chase#“irene adler” fucking killed me first time I heard it#Wilson you're fucking asshole lmao#now did he made up a name or the Sherlock series existence is canon#but ducklings didn't seem to catch on to the reference so its prob random#or was it losely based on someone real who house knew and who did “win” like irene in sherlock did#the fact that this is wilson (watson) telling (making up) us the story of irene is very neat adaptation move to me#is it even adaptation lol. just a reference I guess#anyway#still i laughed at that line#and whats in the porntitle is “Making room for Daddy's hot bisexual with boyfriend problems.”#ridiculous#applies to them both#long post#longpost
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Quinlan and Aayla are the original Anakin and Ahsoka. Quinlan being Obi-Wan's age, and Aayla being seven years older than Anakin, Quinlan is only NINE years older than her. Legends Wookieepedia says he took her as his padawan when she was 10, which is patently ridiculous. Even if we age her up to a more new-canon-consistent age, that still gives us 23yo Quinlan and his 14yo padawan. Disaster duo. Terrifying gremlin pair.
#I SAID WHAT I SAID#star wars#quinlan#aayla secura#grace for ts#OBI WAN IS STILL A PADAWAN AT THIS POINT#everyone makes constant jokes nonstop but Quinlan is THE greatest master he can possibly be#everyone else is surprised. impressed. who knew quinlan 'I Have Never Been Serious In My Life' vos had this in him?#tholme been knew#he walked straight out of his knighting to go ask Aayla to be his padawan#she crossed her arms unimpressed and said 'well it took you long enough!'#i cant believe he found her and brought her to the temple as a child. i cannot believe that storyline was allowed to exist in star wars#ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#the original 'the team' prototype#you cant tell me all the initiates didnt follow their latest adventures#hoping to one day be That Cool
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Honestly I'm glad that the aro community is moving from "we still love our friends and family we're not heartless!" to "we don't need to make up for our lack of romantic attraction with other forms of love" because yeah, our platonic and/or familial relationships are not romance-lite or a substitute for romantic love and a lot of aros reject the idea of love altogether. So yeah fuck trying to appeal to alloromantic people with the whole "we swear we're normal" thing. I don't need to make sense to anyone
Either you accept me as I am whether you understand me or not or you leave me the fuck alone
#aro#aromantic#arospec#not to mention my already existing struggle with connecting to people which was a problem before i even knew i was aro#and probably isn't related to it and has more to do with my history of rocky friendships full of dissapointment and letdowns#so my lack of romantic feelings are not to blame for my antisocial tendencies#of course there definetly are aros who are lonely souls like me and their aromanticism is connected to that but guess what#they don't owe you shit either and are not ''proof'' that aromanticism is miserable and lonely#those of us who are alone are not ''proof'' that we're incomplete without romance
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sometimes i scroll thru my tumblr dash & think to myself with a bit of awe how lucky i am to be surrounded by a world full of beautiful ppl doing beautiful things. & yeah no there's no punchline to this one actually. i just love u
#i hate the internet a lot of the time but honestly it's quite breathtaking that i can find with a few clicks people who are passionate about#the same things as me! and people proudly being passionate about things i never knew existed!#people creating things and people making jokes and people talking and people loving what they love with their entire heart & soul#its just. its good to see. it makes me feel better.#this post is brought to u by all the talented artists i follow and my online friends#sometimes joy is made of tiny interactions with people u will never meet. someone shows me their art and i say it's beautiful. it changed#my life. and then we go on living#hope#🐝
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☆ de fontaine
{☆} characters furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings angst, suicidal thoughts, hurt / no comfort {☆} word count 1.4k
This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair!
She thought, for one moment, she could put the mask down and breathe – for one moment of daydreaming, she thought she could just be Furina. She thought she would finally get to live the live she should've had in the first place, the life she threw away to play God to an audience who saw her as nothing but a circus animal, dancing to their whims. Furina just wanted to be selfish for one brief and fleeting moment..and it was gone before she could even grasp it in her hand. A comet soaring past far out of her reach.
She can barely keep her hands from violently shaking as she looks down at them – broken and bloody and more a corpse then a person – and she feels so numb she can't even feel the rain pelting against her back. None of this is fair, she wants to scream, why is it always me? But her voice is silent beneath the torrent of rain. She wonders if the ocean would take her if she sank into it's depths – just for a moment, she wonders how it would feel to finally be able to sleep at ease.
Furina is tired.
But Furina is nothing if not useful, isn't she?
So she forces her feet to move, dragging against the stone beneath her heels, and drags their bloodied body into the nearest empty building, letting the rain do the work of washing away the smeared blood following her path. The smell makes her feel sick, the feeling of it sticking to her hands and gloves makes her lightheaded, but she persists. Because Furina is useful, because Furina won't let them die out in the rain, because Furina won't stand by and just let them rot on the streets like some..pest.
Furina wants to go home. She wants to sleep and she isn't she if she wants to wake up, this time. But she keeps going anyway.
Because it's all she's ever done, and the habit sticks.
An Archon she may not be, not anymore, but the expectations of five hundred years still linger like eyes on the inside of her skull. They watch her, pry and prod at her thoughts, mocking laughter and judging eyes following her as she forces herself to dance to the song they weave with glee. Furina never stepped off that stage – she's still there, she thinks, watching the crowd stare at her in disdain as the curtain call looms above her like a guillotine. She still hears Neuvillette deliver her damnation and salvation with a trembling voice, still feels her hair stand on end when electro crackled like the crack of the whip, Clorinde's blade aimed at her like a loaded gun.
She's trapped on that stage and she never left, not really.
She hates it. She thinks she hates them, but it's not their fault. They didn't ask for this, didn't ask for everyone to turn against them, didn't ask for her to save them. Neither did she..yet here they are, she thinks.
She tries to tell herself she's in control this time, though. She can stop performing her part in this horrible, bloody play any time she wants. It makes her feel better, just for a little while, if she convinces herself she's still Furina, painfully human.
And Furina has always been good at lying.
It's the believing that's the hard part.
There isn't time for her to wallow in her own self pity, though. They're still bleeding out onto the dusty, creaky floorboards of some random, broken down house and she's just standing there as the blood stains the wood. She can fix it – she's good at fixing things. She's done nothing but fix things – try to, anyway – for five hundred years. She can fix a little wound, how hard could it be? Her hands are clenched so tight they ache as she kneels down, wincing at the creak of the floorboards beneath her heels– she hesitates just long enough to wonder if she's making a mistake before she peels away just enough of the outer layer of their clothes to see the deep, bloody gash across their chest. She tries not to think about it – it's deep, too deep, and she feels dizzy just looking at it, but she's handled worse, right?
Furina can fix it. That's what she's good at.
She doesn't feel so confident when she tries to wrack her brain for..something. Five hundred years, and a little wound stumps her? No, she had to have learned something, right? She's decidedly not trying to buy time because she's panicking, parsing through hundreds of years of memories like flipping through a book. Furina isn't made for this, not really – she's running on nothing but adrenaline and she's really not sure what she's doing, but she's trying. And just like before, it won't be enough, will it?
She'll fall short again – she'll be too late to fix it before she's alone again.
Furina was an Archon..used to be. What use would she have for that sort of knowledge? Which makes her predicament all the more harrowing and bleak. What was she supposed to do?
Furina had heard it first hand, that vitriol in Neuvillette's voice. She isn't sure she's ever heard him that..angry before. She's not sure he would listen to her if she tried, either. And that scares her more then anything. All of Fontaine was up in arms about this..imposter, yet here she was, staring down at them bleeding out in front of her, and she was trying to save them.
Why? Why is she throwing away her only chance at normalcy for a fraud? Why didn't she just turn them in?
They were dying – that should've been a good thing, shouldn't it? So why didn't it feel like it?
"Why you?" Her voice breaks as she speaks in harsh tones, grabbing the front of their shirt in trembling, bloodied hands. "Why now?" She wants to scream, to demand answers they can't give, to claw back the reprieve she was promised after five hundred years of agony..and all she can do is sob into their chest, pleading for an answer that will not come. "Why me?"
Silence is their answer, and it hangs heavy on her trembling shoulders as she cries.
Of course they don't, she thinks bitterly, no one has ever answered her pleas spoken in hushed sobs. Not her other self and certainly not them.
Furina has always been alone. Furina will always be alone.
Because Furina never left that stage, never left that moment when she looked at herself in the mirror and took up a mantle too heavy for her to bear. She always finds her way back eventually. There's no one on the other side anymore – she stands alone on a stage, waiting for an inevitable end she isn't sure will come.
"Please," She pleads through tears and choked sobs, clinging to them like they are all that keeps her from sinking. "Please don't leave me, too." The words burn on her tongue – how pathetic is she that she craves companionship from the bloodied body of the imposter? Perhaps she's truly lost her mind after all these years..perhaps she's finally gone mad. She must have.
But their presence is like the first feeling of gentle warmth upon her skin as the sun crests the horizon, like the gentle lap of tides along her heels, the sway of branches and leaves as the wind blows through them like an instrument all it's own. They are the soothing sound of rain against the window as she watches the dreary skies in fond longing, the first bloom of spring as color blooms upon the landscape like paint had been spilled across the hills and valleys.
They are like the faint spark she carefully nurtures and stokes, so fragile even the smallest wind could blow it out like a candle. She cradles it within her palms, pleads with whoever will listen – prays that someone finally listens, because if not for her, then for them.
She's failed to protect too much already, let too many people with so much trust in her fall between the cracks of her fingers like grains of sand. She won't let them go – she can't.
If nothing else, if she couldn't be saved when she begged for salvation from that five hundred year long agony, even if she never got that chance..
Furina will make sure they do.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#fic tag#furina#so um. looks around. okay look. i know im like THE ts@r1ts@ dealer (censored so it doesnt show in tags. hopefully)#but the moment i saw furi in fontaine the day it released she became my fav even more then the tsaritsa SORRY SHES SO..#this is my love letter 2 furi (making her suffer unimaginable horrors)#open ended kinda in case i decide on making a sequel maybe#furi makes me feel cuteness aggression so bad i start acting like a rabid animal#furina the woman that you are. thats my girlprince meow meow id kill someone for her#playing her part as archon so well but being so horribly irrefutably human in every way..#five hundred years not even knowing what the real plan was. when it would end. knowing if she slipped up it was over.#and in the end almost no one knew what really happened. a select few people know the real weight of her sacrifice.#furina's story was always a tragedy. it was never going to be anything but a tragedy.#and thats one of the most tragic parts of it isnt it? she didnt know how itd end. she didnt know her story was always going to be a tragedy#furina never knew a thing. and still she did it for the people of fontaine and succeeded.#how do you define “yourself” when you havent existed for 500 years?#to be so selflessly human you give up “yourself” to save people who will never know of your sacrifice.#sometimes i think about the confrontation on the stage and have a week long mental breakdown#sacrificing EVERYTHING for fontaine and still. still! the people closest to you turn on you.#heavy on clorinde. she was as close 2 furi as neuvi fight me on this. i bite.#her bodyguard and friend and she ends up staring down her blade wondering if this is it. she failed. she failed them all#because even when faced with the trial. with losing everything. she still thought only about fontaine. oh furina.#do you think she has nightmares. wonders if she was never meant to win this game of g-ds. that her story was always meant to be a tragedy?#do you think she still wonders if she was ever meant to have a chance at a happy ending? a doomed tragedy from beginning to end
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i am like The Distortion because i, too, am Me but also Not Me in a way that is extremely difficult to put into words, and because i have an immensely complicated relationship with the sense of "self" and what that actually means, in this essay i will-
#the magnus archives#ironically enough out of all off the entities#i think i'd be an avatar of the lonely not the spiral#but the spiral is a CLOSE second#like. really really close.#like honestly i could lean either way tbh#but either way i looked at michael and his initial response to jon addressing him as michael (him going “that is a name.”)#and went “that's literally me”#(stares at the distortions struggle with experiencing “self” and then stares at myself)#surely there's nothing similar there#if you guys knew just how heavily i relate to the distortion's confusion and feelings on being michael and/or helen#and feeling like you're wearing the face/thoughts/emotions/memories of someone who doesn't exist anymore.#michael shelley#michael distortion#michael the distortion#the distortion#helen richardson#helen distortion
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An older topic expanded on a smidgeon: I feel like Orin and Durge are seeing Bhaal from opposite sides a bit, and somehow failing to realise that they're not getting the whole picture. That blind men and the elephant allegory.
Canonically Durge sees Bhaal's bloodlust - the god that is at all times consumed by rage and hunger for blood who marched an army of undead on an island nation and manifested purely for the joys of the feeling of delivering death directly with his own hands. 'Death is death, right?'
Orin correctly points out the doctrinal and ecclesial focus on philosophy and artistry, which Bhaal himself does care about. He sets up whole scenes out of a slasher movie, tormenting a bunch of Zhents and leaving horrific murders (executed smoothly, flawlessly and with little mess, considering), just to murder a horse because somebody joked that somebody might kill it. Said horse murder is also deliberately set up so that witnesses would look up and see his holy symbol painted on the ceiling in blood. He casually fought an entire squad of guards with a knife, and took the time to offer a sarcastic polite little bow of acknowledgment/greeting when recognised. He does enjoy showing off, and delights in mortals being terrified of him.
Durge isn't wrong, but Orin is right.
Bhaal, presumably, is letting them keep fighting over it because it makes them easier to manipulate and turn against each other, and it makes their fighting more fervent - particularly when it reaches terminal stage.
#I say canonically because Vel is not 100% canon Durge: he is a good child who reads his doctrine and knows better#He's just too jaded and tired to put effort in anymore.#Because I was always going to play a Bhaalist even before the final game state where I knew Durge existed#I will get that tattooed on me: Durge isn't wrong but Orin Is Right#She. Is. Right.#lore stuff#/durge#/orin#edgelord hours
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Few tales are told of the House of Hades, whose reign as grim lord of the dead came to a sudden end when, all at once, his past caught up with him. But gods do not go quietly, and history repeats.
So this tale was only a matter of Time...
#hades#hades game#hades supergiant#hades 2#hades 2 spoilers#just in case#i swear to god#the possibility of mel having to fight zag#someone she's built up in her mind because they never got a chance to truly know each other#someone who probably loved her from the moment he knew she was going to exist#it makes me sick#it makes me want to tear chronos to bits#supergiant studios i am in your walls#melinoë supergiant#zagreus supergiant#my stuff
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there is something just so amazing about jason coming back to life, seeing how the world remembered him and hating it. coming back to life and telling the people who loved him that they grieved him wrong. people worry if they’re doing the right thing x person would’ve wanted them to after they died, but no one has ever experienced something like that.
someone who you loved and mourned and who loved you back came back and was disgusted by what grief made of you. they didn’t want anything to do with you. how do you deal with the loss of someone you loved a second time around when they’re standing right in front of your eyes, breathing and alive again?
#jason todd#dcu#red hood#dc meta#ur honour I love him#the absolute grief of having ur family within arms reach but not being able to BE with them bc u can’t recognize who they are anymore#everything that made you feel safe in their arms . everything you thought about them turning out to be so wrong#jason thinks he came back wrong thats hes the one who is no longer the son bruce mourned#but bruce and the rest of them are also no longer the same people that he loved and knew#batfam died just as much as jason did#and now they’re both mourning people who no longer exist in more than a physical sense#mine
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