#(Mainly because I want to be able to go back and edit this where necessary) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cozycottagetarot · 3 years ago

Text

Pick A Pile: How Can You Take Better Care of Yourself?

I did this reading a bit different from my others. It’s mainly based on impressions as I’m only using the images and any text on the cards at face value along with whatever else comes to me. So feedback would be appreciated. Another thing is the piles all have intertwining messages so if you feel drawn to two piles, then by all means I encourage you to check them both out.

Paid Readings (I’ll be updating them again)

Disclaimer: All readings and tarot/blog games are for fun and entertainment purposes only. It is in no way meant to act as or replace professional advice of any kind. You know yourself and what’s going on in your life best so I asks that you trust yourself above all else. Finally please take only what resonates from the reading which may be some of it, all of it, or none at all.

PILE 1

Tarot Cards: 7 of Cups, 8 of Wands, The Sun

Pile 1, the way you can take better care of yourself is by making a decision. With the 7 of Cups I see that you have all these opportunities being presented in front of you but you have no idea which one to go with. I get the impression from the cards that from postponing making a decision or choice, you’re starting to feel the brightness in other areas of your life dim. With the 8 of Wands and The Sun following however, I feel like once you make a decision, results and positive things will happen quickly, bringing you happiness. The Sun has a faint face depicted in it, so I feel like you don’t have to worry too much about unintended consequences. I see this as a sign you are being protected from unintended or unpleasant consequences as a result of your decision. Also, connecting with your inner child may be a way to help you make this decision.

The next cards that came out are: Protection (Call back your power. Cut the cords. Soul retrieval.) Soul Family (Call in your tribe. You don’t have to do it alone.) Anna, Grandmother of Jesus (Seeding the light, laying foundations. Divine plan.) The Ever-Unfolding Rose (Cracked open. It’s happening for you, not to you.)

With these cards I think some of you could be going through a 'dark night of the soul' (read: a very difficult time in your life). You may be feeling like somewhere along the line you’ve lost yourself or your direction as to where you’re heading next in life or what it is you truly desire (any Lucifer fans here because I hear Tom Ellis’s voice in my head haha). You may be asking yourself questions such as 'Why is this the way life is happening? Why me? Who am I even?' But even though it might seem unfair or lacking sense right now, keep in mind that whatever is going on is helping you in some format. Situations within reason of course, using your discernment here is best. It’s truly all about how you tell your story. Another thing is you don’t have to make these decisions on your own. Turn to your family and your friends for help/advice. If necessary, maybe you can seek professional help. If either or those things isn't really an option, you could always try taking some time to nurture yourself and journey inside to help you remember or figure out what’s important to you. When you make that effort to find/listen to yourself outside of the noise of everything else, I think that’s when you’ll find the information necessary to help make your decision.

Remaining Cards: The Hourglass Dolphin (46) — your achievement is only a matter of time. The Three Rhine Maidens (15) — love is a virtue that endure eternally.

The Hourglass Dolphin is all about finding balance between two aspects of your life, typically work and play. Dividing your time and remembering to put EXTRA care into taking care of your basic needs is another thing that’s going to help you find success. I feel like you are in a transitory phase and it really is only a matter of time before whatever darkness that may be clouding your life right now disappears.

The Three Rhine Mermaids talks about a phase in your life coming full circle, and once that happens your hearts desires are going to start materialising in your physical/the 3D.

The North Witch (23) — This card just kind of confirms or reiterates that with patience this dark phase is going to fade.

The Toad Witch (7) —This card talks about gaining wisdom from adversity. Also a secret admirer as well. There were messages of love laced through out the cards but they weren’t clear until now. Similarly, I think this will reflect in your life that after you’ve found stability once things have cleared up, you will find love as well.. or better yet, love will find you. Do keep in mind it might not be super quick… maybe Spring or Summer (depending on when you're reading this).

Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Look good; feel good (put effort into looking the way you want), Believe In Yourself, Have a fruit (incorporate more fruits into your diet).

PILE 2

Hello Pile 2. The way for you to take better care of yourself right now is through doing what makes you happy.

Tarot Cards: Ace of Swords, The Sun, The Devil

I actually pulled the Ace of Swords last. Also before I started focusing on your pile while shuffling, the Four of Swords reversed came out.

Thinking of these two cards together, I think you need to pull back and ask yourself if what you’re doing is really the best thing for you. I feel like you guys could be in a really good place right now— at least at face value. The cards have darker backgrounds, except The Sun. I feel like whatever you are doing isn’t really sparking joy inside. Maybe it’s familial or peer pressure related? The life path you’re on right now seems ideal and fulfilling to everyone else, but somehow I feel like deep down inside it doesn’t feel that way. You may feel chained or held back as shown by The Devil. Looking at The Sun and The Devil, they came out together side by side. I feel like this is more family related meaning parents, parental figures or mentors. They may be trying to look out for you by telling you to study a certain topic or take a certain job because it’s safe, when what you truly want to do may be a little bit more risky. So even though you’re playing it safe right now and have things to celebrate, you may not be able to shake the that unsatisfied feeling inside.

The next cards that came out are: Warrior Woman (Have you answered your deepest calling?) Play (Have fun. Celebrate. Don’t be so serious.) Break The Chain (Ancestral patterns. Healing. Rewriting the future.) Transformation (Things are changing at a cellular level. Deep healing.)

All the figures in these cards look like they’re in their power. It makes me think you may be ignoring or avoiding stepping into the energy of your higher self. I kind of had the though fear of backlash pop into my head, and while it is a valid fear, I don’t feel like it’s something you have to worry about a lot. I feel like you need to schedule more time for yourself in general as well. You can’t ‘fight’ for other people all the time, you also have to ‘fight’ for you.

I’m just noticing something about the placement of the cards. Warrior Woman has a sword and is placed right next the the Ace of Swords. Break The Chain is right next to The Devil, and the sun is shining in Transformation and Play, in the same position as the one in The Sun… As I was saying, I feel like you need to just take a moment to connect with yourself. Ask yourself what is it you truly want and begin rewriting your future*.

*This is the part where I let it be known I need people to practice life coaching with so if you’re interested you can message me. 18 years and up only though.

Remaining Cards: The Siren (14) — In the treasure of a day, light is thrown on what could be tomorrow. The Stripped Dolphin (30) Good news, flowing through the ether waves will answer your prayers.

The Siren Is mostly about observation and not forcing connections. The Stripped Dolphin is about good things happening for you, especially by surprise. It’s also about new beginnings in any area of your life. However there’s also a message about not getting caught up in many opportunities, so if you were drawn to pile 1 as well, I see this as a sign to check out the pile as well.

The Silver Moon Witch (2) has a message of being able to see progress by the next full or new moon. However this card advises you to choose carefully when it’s the right time to go with the flow versus ‘swimming’ against the tide. Relating to above, journey inside yourself to figure out if you are taking the right course if action by choosing to stick with the path you’re on versus yelling plot twist and doing something different.

The Full Moon Witch (18) has two sides to it. On one hand you can expect ‘heartfelt’ plans coming to fruition, but on the other hand emotions may be running high and words that aren’t meant may be said. This another one of the moon phases cards, so you may find during the full moon you may have disagreements with your loved ones but once it starts to wane, disagreements may also reach a resolution. I think this relates to the The Silver Moon Witch card as well, so maybe before or during a full moon may not be the best time to bring up anything that may cause a disagreement?

Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Journal, Get Creative, Listen To Music (there may be messages in songs for you)

PILE 3

Pile 3, you guys have been giving me hell from the moment I sat down to pull cards for your reading. From focusing and interpreting to editing. Everything was a mess and I’m assuming you a significant part of your life maybe as well? Or your headspace at least.

Aside from my struggles with your reading, based on the cards, I see you need to focus on yourself.

Tarot Cards: The Chariot, The High Priestess, Queen of Wands reversed.

Starting with your Tarot in no particular order, you have The Chariot, The High Priestess and Queen of Wands reversed. The Queen of Wands is my ideal (you) card. When it’s reversed, I see it as a sign [you] are not embodying the energy of your highest self and/or something in your life is out of balance. Both The Chariot and The High Priestess have black and white polarities, so I see it more as you needing to put yourself back into balance. Something may feel hidden from you, though you’re not really sure what and you want to push forward but it’s just not really happening? On the bottom of the deck is the 9 of Swords which notes to fear, depression, anxiety, etc and is needing to release those emotions. Obviously it can be more complex than it sounds, but I’m hoping you get the idea. Brain-dump came to me. Maybe you need to do a brain-dump and survey/assess your ‘kingdom’ so you can flip that Queen of Wands energy around and allow your chariot to race onward. The next cards that came out are:

The Crumbling (What are you clinging on to?) —> Do you need to release anything? Material items, a goal, a belief, way of life, or maybe just the act of trying to have it all together?

Boundaries (Where do you need to establish better boundaries?) —> Do you need better boundaries with yourself? Habits? People? Enviroment? School/Career?

Share Your Voice (Come out of the cave. Persecution. Expression.) It’s time to step into the limelight, because the world is your stage. Maybe you’ve been hanging back and suppressing who you truly are, but now it’s time to step forward into a new role… a you role. You don’t have to go from stand in actor to lead role over night, but do brainstorm and take baby steps daily to get there.

Keepers Of The Earth (You are not alone. Ancient ancestors stand beside you.) Take the meaning as you will, but I see it as a message to look for support in unexpected places. Maybe it’s an online community of people who can relate to you. Maybe it’s a book, article or video. Who knows, it could even be a friend or family member you didn’t think could relate or help you out. Remaining Cards: The Kraken (38) — Your success and happiness lie within you. The Great Sea Monster (37) — To accomplish you dream plan and believe.

The main theme of The Kraken is release. Good fortune/luck will come to you by delving into your subconscious mind to free the conscious. Returning to nature and the things that bring you inner joy. Good fortune coming in small waves which eventually grow into big ones.

The Great Sea Monster is about taking action and again, freeing your conscious mind by looking into your unconscious mind. Also there is more than one way to solve a dilemma, you just have to search the right way. The Immortal Witch (4) — new beginnings are happening for you, and your desires are on their way to you although it might not appear so currently. (Kind of like planting a seed. It’s growing though we can’t see it until it burst through the soil). The Fairy Ring Witch (9) — mental and physical communication. Connecting with or making friends with similar skills or talents. Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Tend to yourself, Slow and steady, Get creative, Read a book (maybe a self help book relevant to what you're going through).

#pick a card #pick a pile #pick a card reading #pick a picture #tarot reading #pick a pile reading #pac #pac reading #ariesmoontarot

256 notes · View notes

anonquack · 3 years ago

Text

| Chef Q |

Alex Quackity x Reader, Oneshot, Requested by: @anotherdreamsimp !!

Word Count: 3328

Warnings: Some curse words, mainly just some fluff !

Summary: Quackity hasn't been streaming recently, and decides to come back with a cooking stream. Featuring you as a special guest.

Lately, Quackity had been studying like crazy for his final exams. That meant no streaming. He'd take a break from it to focus entirely on his studies. Absolutely nothing else.

He claimed to have his priorities straight, and had the goal to pass all exams with high scores in order to keep his grades looking wonderful.

This also meant there was rarely any time spent between you two, beside the occasional snack breaks you forced him to take so he wouldn't die at his desk.

It was tough not being able to show him a random video you'd found on the timeline, or walking up to chat with him whenever you wanted, but you knew this was very important to him. So you gladly supported him and offered as much support as possible.

Thankfully, all of his studying paid off and he passed with flying colors. A teacher had even informed him that he'd received the top score for one of his final exams.

You were the first person to hear the news, and you couldn't help but feel the adoration coursing through your body at how excited he was to tell you. Jumping up and down and shaking you lightly as he told you about his scores.

You'd offered to take him out for a celebratory meal, to treat him for all his hard work and also since you missed the fun outings with him. There was no way he was saying no to that.

—

After a day out and about, you two had made your way back home. Both of you were pleasantly full, having enjoyed the meal and also dessert. His request, for "doing so well on his finals." How could you possibly deny him that?

You both were also very content, a warmth and comfort surrounding the air around you two the entirety of the outing.

One thing that was impossible not to notice was how he'd become exceptionally clingy as soon as you two were out of the car. Gripping onto your hand tightly as you singlehandedly unlocked the front door.

"I've missed you so much these past few days." He murmered as you finally got the door to open and pulled him inside.

"I've missed you too." You hummed softly. It was always nice hearing him say these things. You locked the front door, and gently pulled at his hand to lead him back to your room.

It didn't take much of a pull for him to willingly follow you. "Can we cuddle or something?" He asked softly, almost as if he was a bit embarrassed to ask. You turned to him and gave him a grin, along with a small nod.

You'd missed him, even if you two had been in the same apartment this whole time. You'd especially been missing cuddles with him, considering he studied pretty much all day. There wasn't enough time being shared together so you gladly agreed to some cuddling.

Sooner than later, you two found yourselves in your pajamas, laying in bed peacefully as you scrolled through tiktok, screen tilted in order for him to see as well. It really was so nice finally being able to be this close to him again.

After some time, you found yourself looking through tweets on the timeline. A certain one caught his attention and he asked you to stop scrolling.

It was a tweet from a fan, saying they missed Quackity since he hadn't streamed in two weeks, but that overall they hoped his tests were going fine.

"Has it really been 2 weeks?" He asked aloud as he clicked on it and looked through the replies, all agreeing with the original tweet.

"Mm.. two and a half, I think." You answered, looking at him curiously as a guilty expression appeared on his face.

"Hey." You called out once you saw the expression wasn't leaving. He turned to you with a small frown.

"It's fine. You had a good reason for being gone so long. I'm sure they understand. Plus, you'll be back soon, right?" You asked, to which he nodded before sitting up from the cuddling position you two were in.

You sat up as well, noticing how his eyes widened slightly, and a small smile made its way onto his face.

"I just got a great idea." He exclaimed. "Y'know, I was going to just spend the next few days with you since I missed you but– how about we stream something together? That way I can enjoy both, and the fans get a stream too."

You stared at him in surprise. The fans did know he was dating someone, but you rarely ever came out on streams, not because he didn't want you to but because you didn't deem it to be necessary.

The few times you had been on, you'd received tons of love and support from the chat, so you didn't think anything too bad would happen if you were to appear on his stream again.

"What did you have in mind?" You asked curiously. The other times you'd been on were him playing horror games and an extremely scuffed IRL stream.

"Well.. I haven't done a cooking stream in a while." He began, but you quickly shook your head.

"Oh no. Don't tell me you're going to make us eat some monstrosity‐ like your past cooking streams." You visibly shuddered at the thought. You remember having to help clean up the mess after. And no matter how funny it had been, the actual cleanup was awful.

"No no– I was thinking maybe we do a serious one, y'know? Chat hasn't really been able to see my cooking abilities, and well.. I'd say I am pretty good at it." He grinned. He was unfortunately right.

You relaxed at the mention of it being a 'serious' cooking stream. It could never really be too serious when it came to Quackity, but it meant not eating dog food or poorly made pizza. You were in.

"So we'll make an actual.. edible.. meal?" You questioned again, just to be sure. To which he nodded.

"Yeah, and we can enjoy that meal after. Like a date. What do you say?" He was beaming. It was his creativity rolling in. And he was probably so proud of himself for finding a way to spend time with you yet also give chat the stream content they'd been missing out on.

"Alright. I'm in."

You hadn't seen him this eager to get out of bed and head to the grocery store ever before. Chat was really in for a fun stream tomorrow.

—

He'd tweeted it out several hours before you two planned on starting the stream that he'd be streaming today with a special guest, and that he had his chef hat ready to go.

As you scrolled through Twitter you could see the timeline freaking out over 'COOKING STREAM' and 'SPECIAL GUEST'. Lots of discussion over who it was.

You couldn't help but feel a bit bad since the fans were probably speculating that he'd met up with his online friends, but in reality it was just you. In that case, you'd try your best to make this a fun stream, and your presence an enjoyable one.

As the time for the stream to start got closer, you helped him set the ingredients you'd be using onto the table, in a way where it was in perfect view for the stream to see and follow along if they wished.

"We're supposed to start in 5." You called out as he slipped his beanie on, fixing the few hair strands that were sticking out a bit too much.

He smiled and made his way over to you, cupping your face and giving you a small kiss. "I'm so excited to do some cooking with you. They're all going to love you."

You couldn't help the warm feeling that spread over your chest at his words. It was like introducing you all over again. He'd recently gained a lot of new followers, and that meant they probably had no idea who you were. Always fun going through that again.

He dealt with some last minute editing and placing, checking all ingredients were there and that everything was set, before hitting the 'Go Live' button.

It didn't take long for the viewers to increase after the tweet notification went out, and the starting soon screen was the only thing really protecting you two from the roaring chat.

Everyone was dying to know what was going on, who the special guest was, and whether this would be yet another scuffed cooking stream.

You stood behind the camera as the starting soon screen finally disappeared and he began greeting the viewers, thanking all the subs coming in, and eventually also giving them a little update on how he'd done on his exams.

You felt so proud as you watched him boast about how his studying had paid off, and how he talked about being the happiest he'd been in a while. He deserved all of it. And chat thought so too.

After some rambling about his test scores and what they'd be cooking today, chat finally became too impatient and asked for a reveal of the special guest.

"Fine. Fine. Since you guys are so fucking impatient." He huffed, watching as chat flew by, telling him to 'get on with it' and to 'TELL US WHO IT IS'. You couldn't help but laugh at the relationship he had with his chat. Always bullying each other but usually knowing when to stop and send love.

"I've actually had them on multiple other streams, not so much recently.. but they've been on my horror streams.. some IRL streams.. and they are really really special to me, chat!" He said with a big smile. Some of chat was confused as to who he was referring to, while older fans began to question if it was YOU. They were very smart.

"Some of the viewers might not know of them, so this is like I'm introducing them to chat all over again! Come over here." He finally directed the last part at you. You couldn't help but feel the sudden spike in anxiety, but chose to ignore it as you smiled back at him and headed into the frame beside him.

With a small wave and a greeting, you watched as chat completely broke. A mess of question marks and your name being spread in chat. You couldn't help but laugh. It was an overwhelmingly positive reaction as Quackity explained to new viewers that you were his partner, and that older fans were already aware of this for a while now.

The amount of 'y/n our beloved' and people asking if quackity's partner was single were abundant in chat, and you couldn't help but feel stupid for thinking the newer viewers would hate you or something.

Having the approval of Quackity's chat also made you feel lighter, it made it easier to let go and just enjoy the cooking stream.

You two began to explain what you'd be cooking to chat, and you made it very clear that he actually had to try and cook this time, to which chat agreed wholeheartedly.

He'd taken a recipe from his mom for one of his favorite meals, one he hadn't had in a while. He explained to chat that he wanted to see how well you and him could recreate it until you two took a trip to visit his family.

"Hopefully we don't disappoint her too much." You mumbled as he placed the chef hat onto your head, fixing it so you looked presentable.

"She can't be because we're actually gonna try." He stated before beginning to explain to chat what the meal was since many of them might not have even heard of it before. As he did that, you began to set aside the ingredients you wouldn't be needing until later.

After everything had been explained, it was time to get cooking. His concentration to try and recreate his mom's recipe was adorable, and chat agreed on that too.

This stream wasn't loud and messy like the others, but it was still enjoyable in its own way. Quackity was radiating such wonderful light and energy, cracking jokes and genuinely enjoying himself. It was all thanks to the stress and worries being lifted off his back. You really enjoyed seeing him like this.

Chat was able to follow along later if they wanted with how organized you guys were being, but the banter he had with you and chat made it entertaining to any casual viewer. He always found a way to make it fun.

Not only that, but chat was able to see a new side of him. The Chef Q side. More often than not, a message would roll in saying they were amazed by how good Quackity actually was at cooking. You could already imagine some of the edits that'd come out of the stream.

His mom had told you two beforehand how long it would normally take to cook this meal, and it was perfect for a usual stream and some extras where you two would actually get to try the food.

There was moments where chat was warning you two that the food would burn or that he'd accidentally set the kitchen on fire, but overall you were enjoying yourself so much.

And chat was enjoying your presence too!

By the time you two managed to finish the meal, you both plopped down onto the chairs he'd set for the supposed 'breaks'.

He had some of the sauce on his cheek and his apron, but still managed to look good. He'd also smeared sauce onto your cheek, and at this point some strands were sticking out of your hat in such a messy way since the last few minutes had been rather hectic, food almost burning and all.

"Chat. We did it." He called out before cheering loudly and clapping his hands, to which you swiftly followed along, chat beginning to cheer as well.

"I think its only right that we try what we made, don't you think?" You ask, to which chat quickly types YES in all caps, wanting to see the finished product and also find out if it even tastes good.

Quackity let out a chuckle as he smiled over at you. "Not gonna lie, I'm a little nervous. We haven't even seen it so it might just be black. Burnt to a crisp. Or what if it tastes like shit? Y/N i don't know what I'm going to do if the food tastes like shit. Thats what we're supposed to eat on our date." He whined a bit.

You shook your head, "It'll be great. And if not, we can just order takeout. It'll be fine big q." You smiled reassuringly. Chat became a frenzy of calling him cute for the state he was in, declaring their love for how supportive and kind you were, and melting over your relationship.

Before you knew it, you were both revealing the meal to chat, and pleasantly surprised by the results. The presentation of the meal itself looked really good. It looked like what you'd expect from such a plate. Quackity had even gone as far as saying it looked similar to how his mom made it.

You gasped, smiling in surprise at him. "Really? Did we really do that good of a job." His face turned into one of regret, and a long segment of silence engulfed you two before he nodded hesitantly. You both broke out into a fit of laughter.

"Okay okay, seriously. Chat's waiting for you to try it." You placed a fork in front of him, earning a loud scoff from him.

"They want to see you try it as well." He mirrored your actions and you gladly took the fork.

"Alright. First bite. Let's see if all our hard work paid off! Chat, are you ready?" You grinned and watched as the 'YES's started rolling in, some viewers telling you both to get the fuck on with it, and others gushing about how the food actually looked good. You could only hope.

You watched as he began to dig in, mouth full and chewing slowly, truly trying to savor the first bite. You did the same, and the stream was silent for the first time in a while. Chat was in suspense as well, question marks and incoherent rambling rolling through the chat.

"Chat..." he finally spoke after swallowing his bite. "Chat. It's." He paused before showing a small smile. "It's not bad at all. I like it. It's good."

You nodded your head in agreement, "It's nowhere near as good as the ones your mom makes.. but I think you and I make a pretty good team."

"I think so too. And not just for cooking." He grinned, earning himself a playful eye roll and shy smile from you.

The stream proceeded to you two feeding each other bites of the meal, asking each other if it was good, and just enjoying yourselves for a bit longer before Quackity deemed it was time to end.

"Chat !! Thank you so much for tuning in and watching this.. actually coordinated cooking stream. I had so much fun and well, I ate yummy food. I'm happy." He laughed, thanking a few more gifters before doing his signature Bye, and ending stream.

He hurried over to your side, pulling you into a hug. "Thank you so much. I truly had fun. And they definitely loved you, but not nearly as much as I do."

You chuckled at his words, giving him a small kiss before cupping his face. "I had a lot of fun too. Thank you for always being so nice to me." You paused, observing how cute he looked with his chef hat still on. "I think I like Chef Alex." You reached over and fixed his hat a bit.

"Yeah? Should I keep it on?" He teased, coming a bit closer. You couldn't help the warmth that spread over your cheeks at how blunt he was.

"Yes, but you need to help me clean this up. Maybe after we finish the food, hm? C'mon. Don't think I forgot our deal."

He whined, already feeling too lazy, but he quickly followed after you as you two sat down to actually eat. Still wearing the silly attire he'd bought for the stream, far too unbothered to change just yet.

Through a mouthful he asked, "Cuddles and a nap after we're done?"

You smiled and nodded, to which he gave a silent cheer. That was enough motivation to get you both up and cleaning after finishing the meal.

—

Wrapped in each other's arms again. He couldn't seem to get enough of it. You were once again scrolling through Twitter, this time scrolling through his indirects, wanting to see what people were saying about the stream.

He'd ask you to stop to read certain ones he found funny, and even 'aww'd at the ones he found cute, mainly those talking about how cute you two looked.

Surely enough, there was already edits using the clips of him cooking, and you'd openly admitted to him that he looked "so fucking good." To which he responded by cuddling closer, if even humanly possible.

Quackity found the numerous clips of you two feeding each other to be the best part of the tweets. You two rewatched, saved, liked as many as you could before he became tired.

And with that, he was pulling you close, and leaving small kisses anywhere he could on your face. Eventually, his chest slowly rose and fell as he entered a deep slumber. You smiled, glad to see he was finally getting the rest he deserved.

"Goodnight, Alex." You whispered, leaving a small kiss on his cheek before closing your eyes as well.

#alex quackity #quackity #quackity x you #quackity x reader #quackity x y/n #gender neutral reader #quackity brainrot #quackity scenario #streamer #quackity headcannons #quackity imagines #chef quackity #cooking stream #quackity fluff #quackity my beloved #revealing lovers #leave some requests !!! I am accepting requests #look at me posting a few days apart wooo #quackity <3

357 notes · View notes

cappymightwrite · 3 years ago

Text

Jon Snow, Manfred & The Byronic Hero: Part 2

Previous Posts: PART 1

Hopefully Part 1 served as a good introduction on the topic and characteristics of the Byronic Hero, as well as how Jon Snow in particular is likely an iteration of this figure. But now we come to the real meat of this meta series — a closer look at Byron's dramatic poem Manfred (1816–1817), and more importantly, its titular character in comparison to Jon Snow. I was originally going to do an analysis and comparison of two key episodes in Manfred and A Storm of Swords, Jon VI, but have since decided to give that its own post... that's right kids, there will be a part 3!

(Detail from Lord Byron, Thomas Phillips, 1813)

So... why Manfred? Why not Childe Harold's Pilgrimage, or The Corsair, or Don Juan, or any other work by Lord Byron? Well, I'll tell you why, my sweet summer children. It's because of THIS:

Manfred/Manfryds and Byrons in ASOIAF, by order of first appearance and publication:

Ser Manfred Swann (ASOS, Jaime VIII)

Ser Manfred Dondarrion (The Hedge Knight)

Manfred Lothston (The Sworn Sword)

Manfryd o' the Black Hood (AFFC, Brienne I)

Manfryd Yew (AFFC, Jaime V)

Ser Byron the Beautiful (AFFC, Alayne II, TWOW, Alayne I)

Ser Byron Swann (ADWD, Tyrion III)

Manfryd Merlyn of Kite (ADWD, Victarion I)

Manfryd Mooton, Lord of Maidenpool (The Princess and the Queen, TWOIAF)

Manfred Hightower, Lord of the Hightower (TWOIAF)

Manfred Hightower, Lord of the Hightower (Fire and Blood)

Like... what the hell, George?

I find this very interesting, very interesting indeed! *cough* intentional, very intentional *cough* And I have to thank @agentrouka-blog for reminding me of the existence of these Manfreds/Manfryds, and thus pointing me in this particular direction. This evidence is, for me, my smoking gun, it's why I feel justified in exploring this specific work. In my opinion, it really strongly confirms that GRRM is aware of Manfred, he is aware of its author — as a literary name, it is pretty much exclusively connected to Byron, it's like Hamlet to Shakespeare, or Heathcliff to Emily Brontë. In fact, GRRM likes it enough to use this name several times in fact, its frequency of use aided by a slight variation on its spelling.

So, as we can see, there are a striking number of Manfred/Manfryds (9!!) featured in the ASOIAF universe, whereas Byron (2) is used a bit more sparingly — perhaps because the latter, if more liberally used, would become far more recognisable as an overt literary reference? Interestingly, though, we can see a direct link between the two names as both bear the surname Swann: Ser Manfred Swann and Ser Byron Swann (note the exact spelling of Manfred here, as opposed to Manfryd). Ser Byron was alive during the Dance of Dragons and died trying to kill the dragon Syrax, whereas Ser Manfred was alive during Aegon V's reign and had a young Ser Barristan as his squire. So, in terms of ancestry, Byron came before Manfred, which makes sense since Lord Byron created the character of Manfred; he is his authorial/literary progenitor, if you will.

But why Swann, though? Is there any significance to that surname? Well, I did a little bit of digging and turned up something very interesting, at least in my opinion. In Percy Bysshe Shelley's poem Lines written among the Euganean Hills (1818), in its sixth stanza, the poet addresses the city of Venice... the “tempest-cleaving Swan” in the eighth line is clearly meant to be his friend and contemporary, Lord Byron, that city’s most famous expatriate:

That a tempest-cleaving Swan Of the songs of Albion, Driven from his ancestral streams By the might of evil dreams, Found a nest in thee;

(st. 6, l. 8-12)

Ah ha! But let's not forget that the Swanns are also a house from the stormlands — stormlander Swanns vs. "tempest-cleaving Swan." It seems a nice little homage, doesn't it? You could also argue that the battling swans of House Swann's sigil are a possible reference to Byron's fondness for boxing (he apparently received "pugilistic tuition" at a club in Bond Street, London). But to make the references to Byron too overt would ruin the subtly, so it isn't necessary, in my opinion, for the Swanns to be completely steeped in Byronisms.

All in all, it would be very neat of GRRM if the reasoning behind Byron and Manfred Swann is because of this reference to Lord Byron by Shelley. How these names and the characters that bear them might further reference Byron and Manfred is a possible discussion for another day! It's all just very interesting, very noteworthy, and highlights how careful GRRM is at choosing the names of his characters, even very minor, seemingly insignificant ones.

(Illustration of Villa Diodati from Finden's Illustrations of the Life and Works of Lord Byron, Edward Finden, 1833)

Now onto the actual poem, and the ways in which Jon Snow could being referencing/paralleling Manfred. First things first, a bit of biographical context. Take my hand, and let's travel back in time, way back when, to 1816, the year in which Lord Byron left England forever, his reputation in tatters due to the collapse of his marriage and the rumours of an affair with his half-sister, Augusta Leigh (plus he was hugely in debt). No doubt, most of us are familiar with the story, but in 1816 Byron travelled to Switzerland, to a villa on Lake Geneva, where he met the Shelleys and suggested that they all pass the time by writing ghost stories.

The most famous story produced by them was, of course, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1818) — which may have served as the partial inspiration behind Qyburn and Robert Strong! Byron himself did begin a story but soon gave it up (yesss, we love an unproductive king); it was completed, however, by his personal physician, John William Polidori, and eventually published, under Byron's name, as The Vampyre (1819). But Byron didn't completely abandon the ghost story project, as later that summer, after a visit by the Gothic novelist M. G. Lewis, he wrote his "supernatural" tragedy, Manfred (1817).*

*I've seen it dated as 1816-17, but the crucial thing to rememeber, in terms of Byron's own biography, is that unlike The Bride of Abydos, he wrote it after his departure from England... this theme of exile will come up later.

Manfred is what is called a "closet drama", so is structured much like a play, with acts and scenes, though it wouldn't have actually been intended to be performed on stage. Indeed, Lord Byron first described Manfred to his publisher as "a kind of poem in dialogue... but of a very wild—metaphysical—and inexplicable kind": "Almost all the persons—but two or three—are Spirits... the hero [is] a kind of magician who is tormented by a species of remorse—the cause of which is left half unexplained—he wanders about invoking these spirits—which appear to him—& are of no use—he at last goes to the very abode of the Evil principle in propria persona [i.e. in person]—to evocate a ghost—which appears—& gives him an ambiguous & disagreeable answer..."*

*As in Part 1, more academic references will be listed in a bibliography at the end of this post.

To sum up the narrative for you, Manfred is a nobleman living in the Bernese Alps, "tormented by a species of remorse", which is never fully explained, but is clearly connected to the death of his beloved Astarte. Through his mastery of poetic language and spell-casting, he is able to summon seven "spirits", from whom he seeks the gift of forgetfulness, but this plea cannot be granted — he cannot escape from his past. He is also prevented from escaping his mysterious guilt by taking his own life, but in the end, Manfred does die, thus defying religious temptations of redemption from sin. He therefore stands outside of societal expectations, a Romantic rebel who succeeds in challenging all of the authoritative powers he faces, ultimately choosing death over submission to the powerful spirits.

According to Lara Assaad, the character of Manfred is the "Byronic hero par excellence", as he shares its typical characteristics found in Byron's other work (as discussed in Part 1), "yet pushed to the extreme." As noted above, there is a defiance to Manfred's character, which is arguable also found in Jon. Certainly though, in all of Byron's works, the Byronic Hero appears as "a negative Romantic protagonist" to a certain extent, a being who is "filled with guilt, despair, and cosmic and social alienation," observes James B. Twitchell. I'll come back to those characteristics presently.

As noted by Assaad, "Byron scholars seem to agree on this definition of the Byronic Hero, however they focus mainly, if not exclusively, on the dynamics of guilt and remorse." Indeed, it is only in more recent years that the incest motif, as well as the influence of Byron's own biography, have been more widely discussed. But perhaps the most compelling aspect of the Byronic Hero is his complex psychology. Although trauma theory only really started to flourish during the 1990s, thus providing deeper insight into the symptoms that follow a traumatic experience, it nevertheless seems, at least to Assaad, that "Byron was familiar with it well before it was first discussed by professionals and diagnosed." As we know, GRRM began writing his series, A Song of Ice and Fire, during the 1990s, and character trauma and its effects feature heavily in his work, most notably in the case of Theon Greyjoy, but also in the memory editing of Sansa Stark in terms of the infamous "Unkiss".*

*The editing, or supressing, of memories is not exclusive to Sansa, however. E.g @agentrouka-blog has theorised a possible memory edit with regards to Tyrion and his first wife Tysha.

But if we return back to that original quote, in which GRRM makes the comparison between Jon and the Byronic Hero, his following statement is also very interesting:

The character I’m probably most like in real life is Samwell Tarly. Good old Sam. And the character I’d want to be? Well who wouldn’t want to be Jon Snow — the brooding, Byronic, romantic hero whom all the girls love. Theon [Greyjoy] is the one I’d fear becoming. Theon wants to be Jon Snow, but he can’t do it. He keeps making the wrong decisions. He keeps giving into his own selfish, worst impulses. [source]

As noted by @princess-in-a-tower, there is a close correspondence between Jon and Theon, with each acting as the other's foil in many respects. In fact, Theon does sort of tick off a few of the Byronic qualities I discussed last time, most notably standing apart from society, that "society" being the Starks in Winterfell, due to him essentially being a hostage. Later on, we see him develop a sense of deep misery as well due to his horrific treatment at the hands of Ramsey Snow. Like Theon, his narrative foil, Jon is also a character deeply informed by trauma (being raised a bastard), but the way they ultimately process and express that specific displacement trauma differs profoundly — Theon expresses it outwardly through his sacking of Winterfell, whereas Jon turns his trauma notably inwards.*

*Obviously, I'm not a medical professional — I'm more looking at this from a literary angle, but the articles I've read for this post do include reference to real medical definitions etc.

Previously, I observed how being "deeply jaded" and having "misery in his heart" were key characteristics of the Byronic Hero, as well as Jon Snow — this trauma theory is a continuation of that. Indeed, to bring it back to Manfred, Assaad goes as far as stating that the poem's titular hero "suffers from what is now widely recognised as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)." I am purposely holding off on discussing what the origin of that trauma is, in relation to Manfred specifically, because, well... it needs a bit of forewarning before I get into it fully. Instead, let's look at the emotions it exacerabates or gives rise to, as detailed by Twitchell, and how they might be evident in Jon and his feelings regarding his bastard status.

(Jonny Lee Miller as Byron in the two part BBC series Byron, 2003)

Guilt

Does Jon suffer guilt due to him being a bastard and secretly wanting to "steal" his siblings' birthright? I'd say a strong yes:

When Jon had been Bran's age, he had dreamed of doing great deeds, as boys always did. The details of his feats changed with every dreaming, but quite often he imagined saving his father's life. Afterward Lord Eddard would declare that Jon had proved himself a true Stark, and place Ice in his hand. Even then he had known it was only a child's folly; no bastard could ever hope to wield a father's sword. Even the memory shamed him. What kind of man stole his own brother's birthright? I have no right to this, he thought, no more than to Ice. – AGOT, Jon VIII He wanted it, Jon knew then. He wanted it as much as he had ever wanted anything. I have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily. May the gods forgive me. – ASOS, Jon XII

But I think Jon's sense of guilt also extends to the high expectations he sets for himself, his "moral superiority" in the face of his bastard status, as discussed in Part 1. He feels guilt pulling him in two different directions, in regards to Ygritte: guilt for loving her, for breaking his vows, and potentially risking a bastard, but also guilt for leaving her, for abandoning her, and potentially leaving her unprotected:

His guilt came back afterward, but weaker than before. If this is so wrong, he wondered, why did the gods make it feel so good? – ASOS, Jon III Ygritte was much in his thoughts as well. He remembered the smell of her hair, the warmth of her body... and the look on her face as she slit the old man's throat. You were wrong to love her, a voice whispered. You were wrong to leave her, a different voice insisted. He wondered if his father had been torn the same way, when he'd left Jon's mother to return to Lady Catelyn. He was pledged to Lady Stark, and I am pledged to the Night's Watch. – ASOS, Jon VI "I broke my vows with her. I never meant to, but..." It was wrong. Wrong to love her, wrong to leave her..."I wasn't strong enough. The Halfhand commanded me, ride with them, watch, I must not balk, I..." His head felt as if it were packed with wet wool. – ASOS, Jon VI

This guilt surrounding leaving the women/girls he cares about unprotected also extends to Arya. Yet it was his need to prove himself as something more than just a bastard, by joining the Watch, which initially prevents him from acting, and which also makes him feel guilt for being a hyprocrite:

Jon felt as stiff as a man of sixty years. Dark dreams, he thought, and guilt. His thoughts kept returning to Arya. There is no way I can help her. I put all kin aside when I said my words. If one of my men told me his sister was in peril, I would tell him that was no concern of his. Once a man had said the words his blood was black. Black as a bastard's heart. – ADWD, Jon VI

I think there is a lack of reconciliation between Jon and his bastard status, between what being a bastard implies in their society: lustful, deceitful, treacherous, more "worldly" etc. Deep down, subconsciously, Jon really rebels against it. You can see that rebellion more clearly in his memories as a younger child, less inhibited:

Every morning they had trained together, since they were big enough to walk; Snow and Stark, spinning and slashing about the wards of Winterfell, shouting and laughing, sometimes crying when there was no one else to see. They were not little boys when they fought, but knights and mighty heroes. "I'm Prince Aemon the Dragonknight," Jon would call out, and Robb would shout back, "Well, I'm Florian the Fool." Or Robb would say, "I'm the Young Dragon," and Jon would reply, "I'm Ser Ryam Redwyne." That morning he called it first. "I'm Lord of Winterfell!" he cried, as he had a hundred times before. Only this time, this time, Robb had answered, "You can't be Lord of Winterfell, you're bastard-born. My lady mother says you can't ever be the Lord of Winterfell." I thought I had forgotten that. Jon could taste blood in his mouth, from the blow he'd taken. – ASOS, Jon XII

But Jon knows this truth about himself, he knows that he has "always wanted it", and that causes him so much guilt because he can't allow himself to be selfish in that regard, because to do so would confirm for him his worst fears... that he truly is a bastard in nature as well as birth — treacherous, covetous, dishonourable.

Despair

As he grows up, learning to curb his emotional outbursts from AGOT, Jon appears more and more stoic upon the surface. But beneath that, buried in his subconscious in the form of dreams, you have this undyling feeling of despair, this trauma connected to his bastard status, his partially unknown heritage:

Not my mother, Jon thought stubbornly. He knew nothing of his mother; Eddard Stark would not talk of her. Yet he dreamed of her at times, so often that he could almost see her face. In his dreams, she was beautiful, and highborn, and her eyes were kind. – AGOT, Jon III

These recurring dreams, sometimes explicitly involving his unknown mother, sometimes not, represent a clear gap, a gaping blank in Jon's personal history and his perception of his identity:

"Sometimes I dream about it," he said. "I'm walking down this long empty hall. My voice echoes all around, but no one answers, so I walk faster, opening doors, shouting names. I don't even know who I'm looking for. Most nights it's my father, but sometimes it's Robb instead, or my little sister Arya, or my uncle." [...]

"Do you ever find anyone in your dream?" Sam asked.

Jon shook his head. "No one. The castle is always empty." He had never told anyone of the dream, and he did not understand why he was telling Sam now, yet somehow it felt good to talk of it. "Even the ravens are gone from the rookery, and the stables are full of bones. That always scares me. I start to run then, throwing open doors, climbing the tower three steps at a time, screaming for someone, for anyone. And then I find myself in front of the door to the crypts. It's black inside, and I can see the steps spiraling down. Somehow I know I have to go down there, but I don't want to. I'm afraid of what might be waiting for me. The old Kings of Winter are down there, sitting on their thrones with stone wolves at their feet and iron swords across their laps, but it's not them I'm afraid of. I scream that I'm not a Stark, that this isn't my place, but it's no good, I have to go anyway, so I start down, feeling the walls as I descend, with no torch to light the way. It gets darker and darker, until I want to scream." He stopped, frowning, embarrassed. "That's when I always wake." His skin cold and clammy, shivering in the darkness of his cell. Ghost would leap up beside him, his warmth as comforting as daybreak. He would go back to sleep with his face pressed into the direwolf's shaggy white fur. – AGOT, Jon IV

"That always scares me", he says quite tellingly. From this key passage, in particular, we can see that Jon feels a deep rooted despair at essentially being unclaimed, unwanted... being without a solid (Stark) identity around which to draw strength and mould himself. He's afraid of being a lone wolf, because as we all know, "the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives," (AGOT, Arya II).

This dream points him in the direction of the crypts — "somehow I know I have to go down there, but I don't want to" — which actually does have the answers he seeks because that is where Lyanna Stark is buried. Yet Jon is "afraid of what might be waiting for [him]", and wants to "scream" with dispair because of the darkness. So, this need for a confirmed identity is a double edged sword, which will no doubt be further complicated when his true parentage is revealed.

Elsewhere, Jon's dreams continue to have this despairing quality to them, often involving Winterfell, the Starks, and especially Ned, which is very interesting on a psychological level:

The grey walls of Winterfell might still haunt his dreams, but Castle Black was his life now, and his brothers were Sam and Grenn and Halder and Pyp and the other cast-outs who wore the black of the Night's Watch. – AGOT, Jon IV

Last night he had dreamt the Winterfell dream again. He was wandering the empty castle, searching for his father, descending into the crypts. Only this time the dream had gone further than before. In the dark he'd heard the scrape of stone on stone. When he turned he saw that the vaults were opening, one after the other. As the dead kings came stumbling from their cold black graves, Jon had woken in pitch-dark, his heart hammering. Even when Ghost leapt up on the bed to nuzzle at his face, he could not shake his deep sense of terror. He dared not go back to sleep. Instead he had climbed the Wall and walked, restless, until he saw the light of the dawn off to the east. It was only a dream. I am a brother of the Night's Watch now, not a frightened boy. – AGOT, Jon VII

But it is never "only a dream", is it?

And when at last he did sleep, he dreamt, and that was even worse. In the dream, the corpse he fought had blue eyes, black hands, and his father's face, but he dared not tell Mormont that. – AGOT, Jon VIII

Even Jon's conscious daydreams in AGOT revolve around his dispairing search for a solid identity:

A lot of these early dreams occur in A Game of Thrones, probably in response to his removal from Winterfell... his self exile. But later on in the series Jon continues to have dreams that tie him to the Starks and to Winterfell, ominous and sometimes despairing too. There's honestly too many instances to list, but if you want to understand the root of Jon's existential despair... it's in his dreams.

Cosmic Alienation

Cosmic alienation, now that's an interesting one in regards to Jon, since he definitely hasn't reached this state... yet. Life and his belief in the divine (the old gods) still hold meaning for him, but then he gets murdered by his black brothers. In the show, the writers hint at some cosmic alienation through Jon stating that he saw "nothing" whilst dead, but then they take it no further and generally do a piss poor job of post-res Jon. This characteristic of Manfred coming to the fore in Jon depends on what happens in The Winds of Winter, but I don't think it is at all that far fetched to assume that Jon will return to his body with a darker, altered perception of things.

Social Alienation

In Part 1, I discussed how Jon, like Byron's heroes, could be read as a "a rebel who stands apart from society and societal expectations." On a more psychological level, we can see how this Otherness, stemming from his bastard status, deeply affects Jon and his perception of himself and the world:

Benjen Stark gave Jon a long look. "Don't you usually eat at table with your brothers?"

"Most times," Jon answered in a flat voice. "But tonight Lady Stark thought it might give insult to the royal family to seat a bastard among them." – AGOT, Jon I

In his very first chapter, we see him quite literally alienated from the rest of his siblings, made to sit apart from them, an apparent necessity he seems fairly resigned to. Also in Part 1, I gave examples of instances in which Jon is mockingly called "Lord Snow," as well as a "rebel", "turncloak", "half-wildling", all of which serve to alienate him from the rest of the brothers of the Night's Watch.

Stannis gave a curt nod. "Your father was a man of honor. He was no friend to me, but I saw his worth. Your brother was a rebel and a traitor who meant to steal half my kingdom, but no man can question his courage. What of you?" – ASOS, Jon XI

The above interaction may seem on the surface to be about one thing — whether or not Jon will be of help to Stannis, offer him loyalty etc. — but tagged onto the end we have quite a poignant question: "what of you?" What are you, essentially. Who are you? The truth of his parentage may, in part, solve these questions... but it may also serve to alienate Jon from his perception of himself further. Ultimately, who exactly he is — what he believes in, who and what he fights for, etc. — will be solely his decision to make going forward.

So, the Byronic Hero, certainly in Manfred's case, but also in later iterations, is arguably traumatised by his own past. But regardless as to whether his trauma is related to a mysterious past, a secret sin, an unnamed crime, or incest, aka "secret knowledge", what is clear in Assaad's interpretation, is that the Byronic Hero is "living with the traumatic consequences of his own past and so suffers from PTSD." But why is Manfred traumatised, what is the specific cause of this trauma, or how might it reveal something deeper about Jon's own trauma? Now, here we come to the unavoidable... I'm going to start talking about Byronic incest and the pre-canon crush/kiss theory, and how it potentially parallels certain aspects of Manfred.

I should preface this by stating that I don't think Jon is suppressing trauma because he committed intentional incest with Sansa, but I do think (or at least somewhat theorise that) Byronic incest does come into play regarding his intense feelings of guilt and existential despair.

But still, stop reading now if are opposed to discussions of the pre-canon crush/kiss theory and the literary incest motif as a whole!

(Detail from The Funeral of Shelley, Louis Édouard Fournier, 1889)

Hey there to the depraved! If you aren't already familiar with the theory, here are some previous discussions/metas on the subject:

Full Blown Meta:

A Hidden and Forbidden Love by @princess-in-a-tower

Ask Answers (Long):

Jonsa as a more positive mirror to Jaime and Cersei? by @princess-in-a-tower, with additional comment by @jonsameta

Discussing the theory by @jonsameta

Evidence for pre-canon Jonsa? by @agentrouka-blog

Kissing in the godswood? by @agentrouka-blog

Why don't we read about Jon's reaction to Sansa and Tyrion? by @agentrouka-blog

More on Jon's supposed non-reaction by @agentrouka-blog, with additional comment made by @sherlokiness

A Jonsa "Unkiss"? by @fedonciadale

A hidden memory? by @fedonciadale

Sansa's misremembering by @fedonciadale

Descriptive parallels between A Song for Lya and Jonsa by @butterflies-dragons

Ask Answers (Short) & Briefer Mentions:

Jealous Jon by @princess-in-a-tower

Your new boyfriend looks like a girl by @butterflies-dragons

Like in Part 1, I've tried to cite as much as I could find, but as always, if anyone feels like I've missed someone important or that they should be included in the above list, please just drop me a line!

Now, it's a controversial theory, and not everyone's cup of tea — I think that's worth acknowledging! I myself am not wholly married to it, I'd be fine if it wasn't the case, but that being said, I can't in good faith ignore it when considering Lord Byron and the Byronic Hero. The incest is, unfortunately, very hard to ignore, both in his work and in his personal life. It's pretty hard to ignore in Manfred, for that matter, which is why I've held off talking about it... until now!

All aboard the Manfred incest train *choo choo* !!

First stop, Act II, scene one. Oh, wait, an annoucement from your conductor... apologies everyone, I purposely neglected to mention quite a key detail. Remember "Astarte! [Manfred's] beloved!", (II, iv, 136)? Yeah... it's heavily implied that Astarte is in fact Manfred's half-sister. *shoots finger guns* Classic Byron! *facepalms*

Oh, and that's not all! Let's consider the context surrounding the writing of this work for a moment, shall we? Unlike The Bride of Abydos (1813),* Manfred was written notably after the fallout of his incestuous affair with his half-sister, Augusta Leigh, composed whilst in a self-imposed exile. *spits out drink* Woah, woah there cowboy... what in tarnation?! EXILE?!

*As referenced in Part 1, @rose-of-red-lake has written an excellent meta on the influence of Lord Byron's work (and personal life) on Jonsa, paying special attention to the half-siblings turned cousins in The Bride of Abydos.

Although, as noted by rose-of-red-lake, The Bride of Abydos bears strong parallels to the potential romance of Jon and Sansa, as well as Byron’s own angst regarding his relationship with Augusta Leigh, the context surrounding Manfred seems... dare I say it, even more autobiographical. Because like Byron himself, Manfred wanders around the Bernese Alps, solitary and guilt ridden, in a state of exile heavily evocative of Byron's own — as I mentioned earlier, the beginnings of Manfred occured whilst Byron was staying at a villa on Lake Geneva, in Switzerland... the Bernese Alps are located in western Switzerland. In light of this, I think it's very understandable that some critics consider Manfred to be autobiographical, or even confessional. The unnamed but forbidden nature of Manfred's relationship to Astarte is believed to represent Byron's relationship with his half-sister Augusta. But what has that got to do with Jon?

Look, I don't know how else to put this:

Byron self-exiles in 1816, first to Switzerland, to Lake Geneva, where it is unseasonably cold and stormy — his departure from England is due to the collaspe of his marriage to Annabella Milbanke, unquestionably as a result of the rumours surrounding his incestuous affair with his half-sister.

Displaced nobleman Manfred wanders the Bernese Alps, in a kind of moral exile, where "the wind / Was faint and gusty, and the mountain snows / Began to glitter with the climbing moon" (III, iii, 46-48), traversing "on snows, where never human foot / Of common mortal trod" (II, iii, 4-5), surrounded by a "glassy ocean of the mountain ice" (II, iii, 7). He feels extreme, but unexplained guilt surrounding the death of his "beloved" Astarte, who is heavily implied to also be his half-sister.

In A Game of Thrones, Jon Snow chooses to join the Night's Watch, with the reminder that "once you have taken the black, there is no turning back" (AGOT, Jon VI). By taking the black, Jon arguably exiles himself from the rest of the Starks, from Winterfell, to a place that "looked like nothing more than a handful of toy blocks scattered on the snow, beneath the vast wall of ice" (AGOT, Jon III). But we aren't given any indication that he does this due to incestuous feelings regarding a "radiant" half-sister, akin to Byron/Manfred, are we? And it's not like we have several Manfreds/Manfryds AND Byrons namedropped within the text, is it? Oh wait... we do. *grabs GRRM in a chokehold*

What the hell, George?!

(Lord Byron on His Deathbed, Joseph Denis Odevaere, c. 1826)

But lets get back on track here and take a closer look at that section of Manfred I mentioned at the beginning — Act II, scene one, aka the part where all the incest and supressed trauma really JUMPS out.

So, early in Act II, in the chamois hunter's abode (a chamois is a type of goat?), according Assaad's analysis, Manfred is "hyper-aroused by a cup of wine." The wine is offered in an attempt to calm Manfred; however, to the chamois hunter's great dismay, it instead agitates him and makes him utter words which are "strange" (II, i, 35). Rather than wine, Manfred sees "blood on the brim" (II, i, 25). His sudden agitation and erratic behaviour confound the chamois hunter, who observes that Manfred is losing his mind: "thy senses wander from thee" (II, i, 27). Assaad's analysis of this scene, which she believes "is the most revelatory in the entire play" discloses "a bitter truth: Manfred's traumatic past informs his present life."

We might compare this with Jon, in particular, how his dreams reveal certain bitter truths to do with his past, now subconsciously informing his present. I've already looked a bit at his crypt dream from AGOT, Jon IV, but we see a sort of recurrence of this dream again in ASOS, Jon VIII. The imagery of being in a crypt, somewhere underground, buried, in the dark, a place of ghosts and spirits, is extremely evocative. Indeed, to go back to Byron's own description of Manfred, the setting of a crypt is extremely suggestive of certain bitter truths "left half unexplained", of secrets buried... and we know that's true because the secret of Jon's parentage is hidden down there, in the form of Lyanna Stark.

He dreamt he was back in Winterfell, limping past the stone kings on their thrones. Their grey granite eyes turned to follow him as he passed, and their grey granite fingers tightened on the hilts of the rusted swords upon their laps. You are no Stark, he could hear them mutter, in heavy granite voices. There is no place for you here. Go away. He walked deeper into the darkness. "Father?" he called. "Bran? Rickon?" No one answered. A chill wind was blowing on his neck. "Uncle?" he called. "Uncle Benjen? Father? Please, Father, help me." Up above he heard drums. They are feasting in the Great Hall, but I am not welcome there. I am no Stark, and this is not my place. His crutch slipped and he fell to his knees. The crypts were growing darker. A light has gone out somewhere. "Ygritte?" he whispered. "Forgive me. Please." But it was only a direwolf, grey and ghastly, spotted with blood, his golden eyes shining sadly through the dark... – ASOS, Jon VIII

I don't think it's outlandish to state that, unquestionably, Jon's bastard identity is a source of ongoing pain for him. I talked about the theme of despair in Jon's characterisation and it is very evident in the above, and it stems from this "bitter truth" of not being a trueborn Stark, of not being "welcome", or having a true place. The emotions/mindset this trauma, concerning his birth and identity, evokes in Jon is arguably what brings him, on first glance, so closely in line with the Byronic Hero:

Their grey granite eyes turned to follow him as he passed / The crypts were growing darker = A mysterious past / secret sin(s)

You are no Stark / I am no Stark = Deeply jaded

There is no place for you here / I am not welcome there / This is not my place = standing apart from society and societal expectations / social alienation

He dreamt he was back in Winterfell / He walked deeper into the darkness = Moody / misery in his heart

He fell to his knees / Forgive me = Guilt

He walked deeper into the darkness / Please, Father, help me / He fell to his knees = Despair

These aren't all the Byronic characteristics I've addressed in relation to Jon, but it is a substantial percentage of them, all encapsulated, in one way or another, within this singular dream passage. As far as what is fairly explicit in the text, being a bastard is Jon's "bitter truth", it is the "traumatic past inform[ing] his present life." But what is Manfred's "bitter truth", what past trauma is informing his present? And can it reveal a bit more about another layer to Jon's trauma? Because there is a key distinction — Manfred's trauma, his PTSD, stems from a specific event, notably triggered by the (imagined) "blood on the brim" of his wine, whereas for Jon, we have no singular event, we have no momentus experience, we just have this "truth."

As mentioned previously, Assaad has recognised the character of Manfred as displaying symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). In Assaad's article, she remarks that "an experience is denoted as traumatic if it completely overwhelms the individual, rendering him or her helpless," and this is quite evident in the interaction between Manfred and the chamois hunter. Sharon Stanley, an educator and clinical psychotherapist, writes that "the word trauma has been used to describe a variety of aversive, overwhelming experiences with long-term, destructive effects on individuals and communities."

So, if trauma is related to an experience, or experiences, is it still accurate to say that Jon experiences trauma, connected to being a bastard? Because there is seemingly no singular or defining root experience, or event that it stems from, it just is… it is a compellation of several moments, revealed to the reader through Jon’s memories and/or dreams. What is being "left half unexplained” here?

Assaad makes reference to the American Psychiatric Association's definition of PTSD, in which it observes that for an individual to be diagnosed with PTSD, they have to suffer from one or more intrustion symptoms, one or more avoidance symptoms, two or more negative alterations, and two or more hyperarousal symptoms. The dreams Jon has certainly suggest something, but it seems like a stretch to say that, like Manfred, he is suffering from PTSD, right? We and Jon are very much aware that he is "no Stark", at least not in the sense that he is Ned's trueborn son, this isn’t something Jon is actively suppressing. By comparison, it is incontrovertible that Manfred committed something in the past, which he deeply wishes to forget and disassociate from:

Man. I say ’tis blood—my blood! the pure warm stream Which ran in the veins of my fathers, and in ours When we were in our youth, and had one heart, And loved each other as we should not love, And this was shed: but still it rises up, Colouring the clouds, that shut me out from heaven, Where thou art not—and I shall never be. C. Hun. Man of strange words, and some half—maddening sin

(II, i, 28-35)

However, we cannot be sure what this traumatic point of origin is, though we know that it is related to something he has done to his beloved Astarte, which subsequently led to her death. Many critics have suggested that his sin is that of incest, and as I noted earlier, that Manfred as a whole is more than just a bit autobiographical and/or confessional in nature. Manfred's incestuous sin therefore re-enacts Byron's incest with his half-sister Augusta. But regardless of the true cause, Manfred is traumatised by his past and cannot overcome it. Is there something in Jon’s past, that may have subconsciously, or consciously, influenced his departure to the Wall — his self exile — which he cannot overcome, and which is closely tied to the issue of and pain he feels due to being a bastard, not just the illegitimacy, but also the negative characteristics it assigns? Is there an event, or experience, we can pinpoint as the origin of Jon’s trauma and potential PTSD?

To circle back to Jonsa, there is some, not unfounded, debate amongst us concerning the validity of the pre-canon crush/kiss theory. I've always found it an interesting theory, but until now, I haven't really given it too much thought. In light of the Byron connection, however, as well as the textual analysis I have for Part 3, I think this scenario, as detailed by agentrouka-blog, seems more and more likely. And I don't say that lightly, I really don't. It is a somewhat uncomfortable speculation to make, even if the interaction was more innocent rather than explicit (this is the side I firmly fall down on), however, it’s ambiguity does potentially parallel Byron’s Manfred and Astarte. This post would be even longer if I included my side-by-side text comparisons, so you may have to trust me for the moment that there are some very striking similarities between Act II, scene I of Manfred, and Jon's milk of the poppy induced dream in ASOS, Jon VI, as well as the actual buildup to that vision.

But, that sounds frankly terrible doesn't it? And it doesn't bode well for his future relationship with Sansa, does it? And what does it mean if Jon is suffering from PTSD due to an incestuous encounter with Sansa? What does that mean for Sansa, Sansa who is doggedly abused and mistreated by men within the present narrative? This is awful, why would GRRM root their romance in something traumatic? Oh I hear you, and these are questions I needed to ask myself whilst compiling this. But you see... now bear with me here... it isn't the actual encounter itself that was traumatic, for either Jon or Sansa, and that is reflected in both their POVs, because, though they think about each other sparingly (explicitly at least), it is never done so negatively. No, the potential PTSD Jon suffers from this experience isn't connected to Sansa, to whatever occured between them. Rather, I believe, it's connected to either the fear, or the reality, that Ned, his assumed father, saw and/or caught him (either Sansa had left at this point, or didn't fully grasp the issue), and this fear, this guilt, this sense of despair, is made evident in this passage:

When the dreams took him, he found himself back home once more, splashing in the hot pools beneath a huge white weirwood that had his father’s face. Ygritte was with him, laughing at him, shedding her skins till she was naked as her name day, trying to kiss him, but he couldn’t, not with his father watching. He was the blood of Winterfell, a man of the Night’s Watch. I will not father a bastard, he told her. I will not. I will not. “You know nothing, Jon Snow,” she whispered, her skin dissolving in the hot water, the flesh beneath sloughing off her bones until only skull and skeleton remained, and the pool bubbled thick and red. – ASOS, Jon VI

That's the traumatic experience, I believe, not the kiss — yep, I strongly suspect there was a kiss. Moreover, Jon's recurring assertion, throughout the series, that he "will not father a bastard" is tied to this in some way, it’s tied to Ned, it’s tied to some sense of guilt and shame. It’s not tied to Sansa. But we'll look at this passage, what it means, what it parallels, and what directly precedes it, in comparison to Manfred, a lot more closely next time.

I'll leave you with a slight teaser though — the parallel that made me really sit up and take notice:

C. Hun. Well, sir, pardon me the question, And be of better cheer. Come, taste my wine; 'Tis of an ancient vintage; many a day 'T has thaw’d my veins among our glaciers, now Let it do thus for thine. Come, pledge me fairly. Man. Away, away! there’s blood upon the brim! Will it then never—never sink in the earth?

(II, i, 21-26)

Note this imagery!!!

Maester Aemon poured it full. "Drink this."

Jon had bitten his lip in his struggles. He could taste blood mingled with the thick, chalky potion. It was all he could do not to retch it back up. – ASOS, Jon VI

In both instances, a drink is offered, with "blood upon the brim", and "blood mingled". In Manfred's case, this is an explicit trigger for him, whereas for Jon? Well, it bit more hidden, a bit more buried, but this moment is, to my mind, the catalyst, because its imagery strongly evokes the colours of the weirwood tree — "blood" red and "chalky" white — you know, the "huge white weirwood" he later on envisions.

*spits out drink*

Maybe the magnitude of this parallel isn't completely evident as of yet, but it will be... or at least I hope it will be, so stay tuned for Part 3!

(Starting to run out of Byron pics so... I dunno, here's Rupert Everret, from The Scandalous Adventures of Lord Byron, 2009)

In Conclusion

To summarise, why is the Manfred connection so monumental to me? Why do I find the pre-canon kiss theory, specifically the scenario detailed by agentrouka-blog, now very hard to dismiss? Because:

The nine (!) Manfreds/Manfryds included within the text, as well as the two Byrons, one of which, the first mentioned in fact, first appears in Sansa's POV. But crucicially the direct link made by GRRM between Byron Swann and Manfred Swann.

The strength of the similarities that can be observed between Jon and the Byronic Hero, but also notably to Byron's Manfred, the "Byronic hero par excellence", according to Assaad. Especially the recurring emotions of guilt and despair, the latter exemplified perhaps most clearly in Jon's dreams.

The prominent theme of self-exile to escape something, something that perhaps cannot be openly stated, present in Manfred, Byron's own life, and Jon's narrative.

Those pesky half-sisters: Augusta, Astarte, and Sansa.

The PTSD symptoms clearly present in Manfred, but left "half unexplained", and seemingly not explained at all in Jon's POV — I'll dig more into this in Part 3.

The "blood upon the brim", and "blood mingled" — more on that in Part 3, I hope you guys like in depth imagery analysis!

Obviously, this is all still just speculation on my part, and it's speculation in connection to a theory that is understandably controversial. I'd be happy to dismiss it... if it weren't for the above. So, I suppose I'm in two minds about it. On the one hand, however you look at it, it's more trauma in an already traumatic series... which is *sighs* not what you want for the characters you care strongly about. But on the other hand, that literary connection to Manfred (and by extension to actual Lord Byron), the way it's lining up, plus that comparison GRRM himself made between Jon and the Byronic Hero... that's all very compelling and interesting to me as a reader, as a former English literature student. So, I don't want it to be true because... incest hell. But then, I also want it to be true because then it makes me feel smart for guessing correctly.

But anyway, we're going to be descending into incest hell in Part 3, so... we'll just have to grapple with that when we come to it. I hope, if you stuck with it till the incesty end, that you enjoyed this post!

Stay tuned ;)

Bibliography of Academic Sources:

American Psychiatric Association, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edn (Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing, 2013); online edition at www.dsm5.org

Assaad, Lara, "'My slumbers—if I slumber—are not sleep': The Byronic Hero’s Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder", The Byron Journal 47, no. 2 (2019): 153–163.

Byron, George Gordon Noel, Byron’s Letters and Journals. Ed. Leslie A. Marchand. 12 vols. London: Murray, 1973–82.

Holland, Tom, "Undead Byron", in Byromania: Portraits of the Artist in Nineteenth- and Twentieth- Century Culture, ed. by Frances Wilson (Basingstoke: Palgrave, 2000).

MacDonald, D. L. "Narcissism and Demonality in Byron’s 'Manfred'", Mosaic: An Interdisciplinary Critical Journal 25, no. 2 (1992): 25–38.

Stanley, Sharon, Relational and Body-Centered Practices for Healing Trauma: Lifting the Burdens of the Past (London: Routledge, 2016)

Twitchell, James B., The Living Dead: A Study of the Vampire in Romantic Literature (Durham, NC: Duke University Press, 1981).

#jonsa #jon x sansa #jonsa meta #jon as the byronic hero #byronic hero #lord byron #tw: incest #cappy's thoughts #grrm and the Romantics #Jonsa and Romanticism #percy bysshe shelley #romantic poets #literary references #damn this was a long one!#glad a split it into another part!#i started to get a bit unhinged by the end not gonna lie

98 notes · View notes

variousqueerthings · 3 years ago

Text

Daniel LaRusso: A Queer Feminine Fairytale Analysis Part 1 of 3

Disclaimers and trigger warnings:

1. These fairytales are European, although there’s often overlap in themes globally. I know European fairytales better, which is essentially the reason I’m not going to branch out too far. I opted to also stick to Western movies so as not to narrow things down, but also in particular “waves hand towards all of Ghibli” amongst many others. There’s a reason the guys in Ghibli are so gender.

2. TW for discussions of rape culture and rape fantasies

EDIT: FUCK I’M A GOBLIN CHILD! FORGOT TO PUT A MASSIVE MASSIVE THANK YOU TO @mimsyaf WHO HAS BEEN THE NICEST, KINDEST EDITOR ON THESE THOUGHTS AND CONTRIBUTED SO MUCH TO THEM AND GENERALLY IS A WONDERFUL PERSON!

Part 2

Part 3

1. Introduction

I recently wrote a little thing, which was about Daniel as a fairytale protagonist – specifically one that goes through some of the kinds of transformations that are often associated with female protagonists of fairytales.

I used quotes from Red Riding Hood, Labyrinth, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and Dracula, which, as an aside – the overlap between fairytales, horror, and fantasy and the ways each of those genres delve into very deep, basic questions of humanity and the world is something that will always make me feral. I will be generally sticking with fairytales though. Also I am very excited about some of those Labyrinth concepts going around!

I’m going to use “feminine” and “masculine” in both gendered (as in relating specifically to people) and non-gendered (as in relating to codes) ways throughout this, depending on context.

To be binary for a moment, because sample-sizes of other genders are low, women are usually able to fall into either feminine or masculine arcs, although sometimes the masculine-coded woman can become a “not like the other girls” stereotype and the feminine-coded woman a shallow cliché – in both cases they’re also under more scrutiny and judgement, so it’s always worth asking “is this character not working for me because of the writing or because I have ingrained biases? (Both?)”

Men don’t often get feminine-coded arcs. Because. Probably a mix of biases and bigotry. But there are some that seem to have slipped beneath the shuttered fence of “Sufficient Narrative Testosterone,” and Daniel LaRusso is one of them.

2. Some Dude Comparisons (Men Doing Manly Action-Hero Things like being trans symbolism and loving your girlfriend… seriously those things are hella manly, I wish we saw more of that onscreen…)

a. Neo

Much like Neo The Matrix, whose journey is filled with transgender subtext and specifically and repeatedly references Alice In Wonderland, Daniel doesn’t go through quite the kind of hero's journey usually associated with Yer Standard Male Hero, especially the type found in the 80s/90s.

Neo is my favourite comparison, because of the purposefulness of his journey as a trans narrative and the use of Alice. But I’m sure there are other non-traditional male heroes out there (but are they trans tho? Please tell me, I want trans action heroes).

Neo “passes” as a socially acceptable man, but online goes by a different name - the name he prefers to be known by - feels like there’s something inherently wrong about the world around him and his body’s place in that society, and then gets taken down the rabbit hole (with his consent, although without really “knowing” what he’s consenting to) to discover that it’s the world that’s wrong - not him. And by accessing this truth he can literally make his body do and become whatever he wants it to.

Yay. (The message of the Matrix is actually that trans people can fly).

Neo is – kind of like Daniel – a strange character for Very Cis Straight Guys to imprint on. He spends most of the first movie unsure about what’s going on, out of his depth, and often getting beaten up. He is compared to Alice several times and at the end he dies. He loses. He has to be woken up with true love’s kiss, in a fun little Sleeping Beauty/Snow White twist. Yes, after that he can fly, but before that he’s getting dead-named and hate-crimed by The Most Obvious Stand-In For Normativity, Agent Smith, and being carried by people far more physically capable than he is (people who also fall outside of normative existence).

Trinity and Neo in The Matrix. The fact that a lot of the time neither of them is gendered is something. Literally brought to life by true love’s kiss.

I’m not about to argue that Daniel LaRusso is purposefully written along these same thought processes, so much as the luck of the way he was written, cast, directed, acted, and costumed all came together in the right way. And this is even more obvious when compared to That Other Underdog Fite Movie That Was By The Same Director as Karate Kid.

b. Rocky

The interesting thing about Rocky is that he is (despite being a male action icon) also not written as a Traditionally Masculine person. Large portions of Rocky – and subsequent Rocky films – are his fear and insecurity about fighting vs his inability to apply his skills to another piece of work and wanting to do right by his girlfriend (and future wife), Adrian. The fighting is most often pushed onto him against his will.

Much like in Karate Kid there is barely any fighting in Rocky I. Most of it is dedicated to how much Rocky loves Adrian and the two of them getting together. The fight is – again like in Karate Kid – a necessary violence, rather than a glorified one (within the plot, obviously watching any movie like this is also partly about the badassness of some element of the violence – whether stamina or the crane kick, it’s all about not backing down against a more powerful opponent).

Rocky is played by Sylvester Stallone. He’s tough, he’s already a fighter (albeit in the movie not a great one yet), he’s taking the fight for cash – so although he’s also soft-spoken and sweet, you’re aware of the fact that he’s got those traits that’d make a male audience go “Hell Yeah, A Man,” or whatever it is a male audience does watching movies like that… cis straight men imprinting on oiled muscle men sure is a strange phenomenon, why do you wanna watch a boxing match? So you can watch toned guys groaning and grappling with each other? Because you want to feel like A Man by allowing yourself to touch the skin of other men?

Apollo and Rocky in Rocky III. This sequence also includes prolonged shots of their crotches as they run. Sylvester Stallone directed this. This was intentional. Bros.

Daniel LaRusso is not built like that. But that doesn’t really have to matter. Being smallish and probably more likely to be described as “pretty” than handsome, and not having a toxic masculine bone in his body does not a feminine archetype make. It just makes a compelling (and pretty) underdog.

c. Daniel

So where does the main difference really lie? Between Rocky and Daniel? Well, Rocky has the plot in his hands – Daniel, largely, does not. Rocky is acting. Daniel is reacting or being pushed into situations by others. Just like our boy Neo. Just like Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella, Snow White – just like some of the women in some contemporary(ish) fairytale films like Buttercup (Princess Bride), Dorothy (Wizard of Oz), or Sarah (Labyrinth).

This isn’t a necessary negative about stories about girls and women, so much as looking at what it is girls and women in fairytales have/don’t have, what they want, and how they’re going to get it. It’s about power (lack of), sexuality (repressed, then liberated), men, and crossing some taboo lines. It’s also about queerness.

3. The Karate Kid Part One: Leaving Home

Daniel LaRusso is a poor, skinny, shortish kid (played by a skinny, shortish twenty-two-year old) who doesn’t fit in after having been taken away from the home he was familiar with against his will. Not every male protagonist in a fairytale leaves of his own will, and not every female protagonist leaves under duress – Red Riding Hood, for example, seems perfectly happy to enter the forest. However generally a hero is “striking out to make his fortune,” and generally a heroine is fleeing or making a bargain or being married off or waiting for help to arrive. She is often stuck (and even Red Riding Hood requires saving at some point).

Daniel then encounters a beautiful, lovely girl on the beach, puts on a red hoodie (red is significant), is beaten up by a large, attractive bully, loses what little clout he may have had with his new friends, and generally has a mostly miserable time until he befriends and is saved by Mr Miyagi. To do a little Cinderella comparison: Miyagi is the fairy godmother who pushes Daniel to go to the ball in disguise as well, and that disguise falls to pieces as he’s running away.

Then Daniel asks for help, Miyagi gets him enrolled in a Karate Tournament, and starts teaching him. Daniel wins the tournament and gets the girl, the end.

While Daniel has chutzpah and is a wonderful character, none of the big events are initiated by him, except for the initial going to the forest/beach (and within all of these events Daniel absolutely makes choices – I’m not saying he’s passive): Lucille takes them to California, Miyagi pushes him to go to the dance, Miyagi again decides to enroll him in the tournament and trains him, and only because Kreese doesn’t allow for any other option, Ali is the one who more often than not approaches Daniel, and even their first encounter is pushed by Daniel’s friends.

Daniel really is at a dance/ball in disguise and receives a flower from a girl who recognises him through said disguise, it’s unbearable! It’s adorable! I get it Ali, I fucking get it!

Daniel’s main journey within this – apart from not getting killed by karate thugs (love u Johnny <3) and kissing Ali – is to learn from Miyagi. He’s not necessarily a full-on feminine fairytale archetype at this point, although there are fun things to pull out of it, mainly in the context of later films and Cobra Kai: the subtext of karate and how that builds throughout all the stories, the red clothes, the themes of obsession, his being targeted by boys whose masculinity is more than a little bit toxic and based on shame… more on all that coming up.

He doesn’t technically get a home until they build him a room at Miyagi’s place, but he definitely leaves the woods at the end of this one, trophy lifted in the air after being handed to him by a tearful Johnny and all.

And then they made a sequel.

4. The Karate Kid Part Two: Not Out Of The Woods Yet

Daniel’s won the competition, Kreese chokes out Johnny for daring to lose and cry, more life-lessons are given (for man without forgiveness in heart…) and Daniel and Ali break-up off-screen, confirming that TKK1 was not really about the girl after all, which, despite Daniel and Kumiko having wonderful chemistry, is also an ongoing theme. Daniel enters the screen in The Most Baby-Blue Outfit seen since Tiana’s dress in Princess and the Frog? Or that dress in Enchanted? Maybe Cinderella’s (technically silver, but later depicted as blue)?

(Sidenote: At everyone who says Sam ought to wear a callback to that suit, you are correct and sexy).

Surprise, Miyagi’s building him a room.

Double-surprise, Miyagi needs to go to Okinawa.

Triple surprise, Daniel reveals he’s going with him, because he’s his son dammit.

The Karate Kid Part Two is maybe the least Daniel-LaRusso-Feminine-Fairytale-Protagonist of the three, because it’s not really his movie. Daniel runs around with Kumiko (aka the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen), continues to be The Best Non-Toxic Boy a middle-aged Okinawan karate master could ask for, lands himself another Built Karate Rival (twice is just a coincidence, right? Right?), and eventually doesn’t die while wearing red again – twice: When Chozen almost strangles him to death at the Miyagi dojo and then during the final fight. The Saving Of The Girl (both the little girl in the storm and Kumiko) actually puts him in a more traditional masculine space than the previous movie did, even if the main theme of the film is about compassion and kindness and by the end, once more the boy whose masculinity is built on rockhard abs and matchsticks is on his knees. Daniel just has that power over big boys. It’s called kick/punch them in the face hard enough that they see stars.

There’s an aside to be made here about how much Daniel really is an observer in other peoples stories in this, although he is the factor that sends both Chozen and Kumiko into completely different directions in life (Chozen and Kumiko main characters when?) Anyway he comes out of it presumably okay, despite being almost killed. Maybe a few therapy sessions and he’ll get over it. Too bad Terry Silver is lurking around the corner…

5. The Karate Kid Part Three: The Big Bad Wolf

Alright people have written Words about the third movie. It’s fascinating. It’s odd. It’s eye-straining. It’s like olives – you’re either fully onboard the madness or it’s too off-putting for you (or you’re like. Eh, don’t see what all the fuss is about either way...). It’s basically a non-consensual secret BDSM relationship between a guy in his thirties (played by a Very Tall twenty-seven year old Thomas Ian Griffith) and a 17/18 year old (played by a shorter twenty-eight year old Ralph Macchio).

Also recently we got more information on Mr. Griffith’s input on the uh… vibes of the film. Apparently it wasn’t just The Sweetness of Ralph Macchio’s face, the screenplay (whatever that amounted to in the first place – release the script!), the soundtrack, the direction to not tone it down under any circumstances, the fact that Macchio categorically refused to play a romance between himself and an actress who was sixteen, no: it was also TIG coming up with fun ways to torture Daniel’s character and suggesting these to the director. Clearly everyone has fun hurting Mr Macchio (including Mr Macchio).

The point is that aaallll of that amounts to that Intense Homoerotic Dubiously-Consented-To D/s subtext that haunts the movie and gives a lot of fun stuff to play with. It’s also a film that – if we’re analysing Daniel along feminine-coded fairytale lines recontextualises his role in this universe.

The Fairytale goes topsy-turvy. Through the looking glass. Enter Big Bad Wolf stage right. Karate is a metaphor for Daniel’s bisexual awakening.

“Oh, when will an attractive man touch me in ways that aren’t about hurting me?” he asks after two movies of being hurt by boys with rippling muscles. “Why do men continue to notice me only to hit me? Do you think wearing red is making me too noticeable? Anyway, Mr Silver looked really good in his gi today.”

Daniel’s diary must be a trip.

#daniel larusso #the karate kid #cobra kai #ck #johnny lawrence #cobra kai meta #my writing #part one of three #some comparisons to matrix and rocky because I love to talk about those #terry silver

92 notes · View notes

readingwithlemons · 4 years ago

Text

The Training Scene

Edited 8-21-21

Prompt Scene to the Series: Rising Sun

Description: Y/N and Jasper are in charge of training both the other Cullens and Uley Pack, how to fight an army of Newborns. Still on touchy ground, Paul realizes the cruel severity of his imprint previous life and the rest of the pack seem to gain more respect for the tiny leech.

Word count:1902

DISCLAIMER: I USED SOME OF THE DIALOGUE WRITTEN BY MEYER IN THIS PROMPT. I USED THEM AS A WAY TO FIX MY STORY IN WITH HER STORY MORE FLUIDLY.

Warnings: physical fighting, foul language, talk of death

a/n: Paul and the rest of the pack will be wolf form for most of this scene anything in Bold will be the conversation between the pack.

I avoided looking at anyone in the pack as they walked through the tree line. While my family gawked and stared at the large pack, I stood tensed, swallowing the pings and pangs of guilt I felt for not sharing this detail with my family. However this wasn't my information to give them.

Trying to refocus my thoughts towards helping Jasper with plans of training. It became hard to drift from the grey-silver wolf that held my shattered heart in his hands. Anger and Embarrassment still flooded through my system from our last conversation. I was hurt that he had thought so low of me and that he felt the need to scream at me in front of the whole pack.

I flinched as the memory of what I said popped back in my head.

“Do you really think I wanted to be this monster?” I spun around to stare at him. Ignoring the eavesdropping teens behind me. Paul's face still held the ame disgust, as it did after Jacob told everyone of the newborn army.

“You honestly think that I asked to be this bloodsucking filth.” Paul's face flashed in shock at my phrasing.

" I had a life." I stressed the last word " A good life. With a doting husband, who I only recently found out, killed himself because he couldn't protect me."

I never told Paul about Jonathan...or anything about my past because…Well he never seemed to care. Hell, Alice and Jasper are the only ones that even knew about Jonathan's suicide...maybe Edward but- \

Finally looking and registering the blank look that was Paul’s face now. I felt nothing but anger as I tried to bite my tongue from telling him anymore. He doesn't deserve to know about Jon. He doesn't get to use that against me like he uses everything else to attack me.

He just doesn't understand the fuckery that I've had to deal with. “ Did you know that one of the uhh-” I looked back at the ground “side efforts~”

I almost laughed at my word choice. “Of being a leech is that you can’t kill yourself.” I could hear his heart skip a beat. “ Yeah... we can kill each other just not ourselves.”

A laugh escaped my throat, then another , then another. I shook my head, trying to pull myself back together. “And I know that because I tried every single method of the book."

“Even lighting myself on fire, did nothing but tickle me.”

"Y/n" I heard him breathe, then I felt the tiniest brush of a touch on the top of my shoulder. Jerking away from him, and looking back at his face. I saw the disgust that had laced in his expression and eyes were gone. In its place, was an expression of remorse.

Full on laughing I tried to continue my speech, “It’s hilariously fucked up isn’t it” If I could cry I would be. I swallow the dry sob in the back of my throat.

“Well my whole entire existence is fucked up actually.” I started to calm down. “ If it wasn’t, I would be 6 feet under right now.”

“ Y/n” He started but I held up a hand to stop him, but he squeezed out “ It was a bad choice of word-.”

"Of course!" I blew up. " Because you didn't know." I raised an eyebrow as he raised a hand to touch me again. He put it back down as when he saw the flames in my eyes. I continued "Because you never gave me the chance to explain to you what I went through. You just assumed that I asked for it ."

"I'm done with having to defend myself, morally from you." I turned and headed back to my vehicle, ignoring Paul's yells, as I slammed the car door. Bella would just have to get a ride from Jake.

A wave of calmness hitting my system pulled me from the embarrassing memory. My eye shot up to Jasper, who was on the other side of her. He was still staring straight ahead.

“Welcome” Carlisle spoke, I let my gaze settle on his relaxed stance out in the middle. My father has always amazed me with his calm appearance.

"I know it must be a difficult thing for you to come." Then he went on to explain that Edward would be acting as a translator, so that way they don't have to phase if they don't want to.

“Thank you” Edward replied in a gruff tone. “We will only watch and listen, but no more. That is the most we can ask of our self-control.” I was thrilled more by that statement than I should be. I was hopeful that maybe I would be able to leave this place without a glance at a certain wolf.

“That is more than enough,” Carlisle smiled calmly. “My son Jasper” his right hand moved to gesture “And daughter, Y/N '' his hand then shifting slightly to me, I nodded in acknowledgement to Carlisle gaze.

If I was still human, I would have had thousands of tiny goosebumps, up and down my arms right now. It felt like there were at least a thousand eyes on me.

"-have experience in this area. They will teach us how the newborns fight, and how they will be defeated. I’m sure you can apply this to your own hunting style." I heard a low rumble among the wolves

“They are different from you?” asked Edward. Or Sam? This is getting confusing already. Carlisle smiled, “How about I let them explain.” again gesturing toward Jasper and me before stepping back to stand next to Esme. Jasper and I both walked up from the back to where Carlisle stood in the middle.

I took a quick glance at Jasper and knowing, he would want to talk more than I did but I promised to speak mainly to the wolves if he explained more to our family. So that meant this question was for me to answer.

Directing and keeping my attention to Sam, I tried to stay unfazed as I spoke “Yes, as they are still very new to this life. The Newborns will be full of frenzy driven by the brute strength given to them from the blood that still lingers in their system."

"The newborns will fight amongst themselves. As of today we know that their numbers sit at 20. Ten for us and ten for you, with that it shouldn't be too difficult. but it's highly likely that their numbers will either lower farther or raise. ” A rumble of excitement seems to run through them.

“We are happy to take more than our share. If necessary” Edward translated, I notice the change in the tone. I smiled, “We will have to see.”

“ What makes you two more qualified on this matter than any of the others?” Edward spoke again.

There was a rustle next to me as Jasper took a step forward. Arms behind his back, his stance reminded me of my first meeting with him after I changed, posed and ready for a fight.

“Y/N and I were forced into this life for the same reason as these newborns were forced. Except developed a conscience that our creator-" spoke with clear disgust in his tone. " -did not have control over."

I heard a small gasp behind me and a small rustling of feet behind me. Clearly Bella did not know this strange detail. Jasper began to pace. I always picked on him when he did this. 'Your military is showing', I would say. But right now, it was nothing short of intimidating how he stood.

“We know how to defeat them because we know what it's like to be them.” “Thank you” Edward quickly cut him off. “We will watch now.” Nodding Jasper turned to face back to our family.

“There are 2 things you need to know, 1. Don’t let them get their arms around you; they will crush you instantly. 2.” He stopped turning back to face the wolves.

I flashed a look at Sam, the black wolf stood taller staring back at the ex-major.

“ Don’t go for the obvious kill “ Jasper spoke clearly emphasizing each word wanting them to understand him. “ They will be expecting that. “ Jazz relaxed “ and you will lose. “ Sam let out a huff in response.

“ Y/N and Emmett, you are up first.” I heard a mumble pass down the wolf line as everyone spread back leaving me and Emmett at different ends of the field.

“This should be good” Emmett spoke now, seeming to warm himself up, rubbing his hands together.

“Emmett relies on his strength very much like the newborns.” Jasper said “ so he will be a good example for you.” He looked between Emmett and I. "Start whenever you are ready." I smiled at Em “Don’t hold back” cockily, he let out a bearish laugh at ending it with a smirk. “Not in my nature” and he charged.

I felt the wind as he chucked me in the air, quickly catching myself in a landing spin charging back at him. It seemed not even a long second had passed before I had his large head smashed into the ground.

“Again” Emmett growled. Smiling, I pushed away from him. I tried to ignore the huffs and snorts coming from the wolves' side.

“Don’t lose your focus” I told him “Following your emotions is only making your moves more predictable.” He nodded, standing up and heading over to his end of the field again. I nodded toward Jasper who agreed with my assessment, gesturing to continue with Emmett.

Taking my place again, Emmett charged and within the next minute he was already calling for another rematch.

"Don't turn your back on your enemy." Jasper spoke with an eye roll.

**Paul’s Pov**

"Y/n is kicking his ass." laughed Jared. Silently laughing with him I watched as Y/N jumped on top of the big Cullen twisting him mid-air and slamming him into the ground again.

"That she is, " agreed Sam lightly chuckling.

Watching her first stand across the field from that large Cullen made my insides twist in worry; however, as I watched her pin him in no time flat, it seemed to bring a sense of pride in me. It only made me feel even more guilty. I shouldn't be happy to finally see her again. I didn't deserve it. Not after what I said about her.

"God, please just apologize to her already" spoke Leah, before I could reply Sam growled softly

" Leah," he warned.

"Shut up" I replied harshly. "I'll keep my thoughts to myself."

"What? I am only trying to help! Out of all of us. I'm the one who knows best how to handle the emotional range of a woman." Quick to defend herself, I realized Leah made sense.Before anyone could really respond to her statement. We watched as Gruff-man walked off the field. Leaving only Y/n on the field...undefeated. Edward stepped up, Jacob tensed as Edward's death flashed in his thoughts

"Jake" Sam barked

Watching all the Cullen's fight each other it was clear to anyone that both Y/N and Jasper were the only experienced ones. Either of them lost a fight with any of the others. It made me wonder…

"We're done for the day"

------

283 notes · View notes

fiction-in-my-blood · 4 years ago

Text

Obey Me! Brothers W/ Mentally Slow MC HC

~Longer than necessary A/N ahead so, if you don’t care, you don’t need to read it, just sharing stuff about myself to random strangers on the internet lol.~

So... I’m slow. Like, my brain just does not computer things quick enough a majority of the time? I’m not a great conversationalist because of it, I have a pretty bad stammer, I mix up names even though they don’t sound at all the same, and I get too excited when I do know something that when I try to say it its just a jumble of words that don’t make sense and I tell my friends to just forget about it because I know I won’t be able to say the right words lol. Luckily I have great friends and they give me the time to rethink my sentence so I can say what I want to say. Oh, and I daydream to the point I never dream in my sleep haha. So, this is basically an HC for me lol. That being said, I’m pulling from mostly my own experiences here, so I’m sorry if they sound a lil depressy haha.

And I would like to say, if anyone can relate, there’s literally nothing wrong with you!!! (Cannot stress this enough). We just have our fun lil quirks.

~Also, I’m so sorry for missing out on Belphie. I love him somuch but I could not think of a scenario for him. If I do in the future I’ll edit or reupload idk.~

~Oh, and @theshove , I finally posted again ;), although I’m sure it’s not gonna be as spicy as you’d like.~

Warnings: Descriptive explanation of a panic attack in Mammon’s HC, reference to bullying in Satan’s

~~~~~~

Lucifer:

At first, he was secretly pretty frustrated.

He thought it was a confidence issue, he heard that was a common thing in human youth, to not believe in yourself and have anxiety about the way you looked, spoke, sounded.

You would often be having conversations with his brothers, debating a subject that Lucifer took no interest in, and you would be about to put in your input when a stream of nonsense passed your lips.

“Y’know what, nevermind.” Was a frequent phrase that left your lips when you did slip up, sighing to yourself as you thought about how ridiculous you just sounded.

Lucifer would ensure none of the brothers, or Solomon, ever teased you about your mistakes.

Although, it was mortifying everytime you accidentally called him Levi, and vice versa.

It was hard enough when you were still getting to know the brothers, but even on a date with the eldest, Levi just seemed like an easier word to say in the moment. It led to a few upsetting misunderstandings and some pretty severe punches to Lucifer’s pride.

Once you two got closer, you explained you mixed up your words because you used to be practically mute.

You weren’t a particularly extroverted child, nor were you interested in much, so you hardly spoke at all. You never got the practice you needed to familiarise yourself with words. It was Devildom that really brought them out of you.

After you did share that with him, he thrived off hearing your voice, even when it took a solid ten seconds to contemplate what you needed to say, even stretching your mouth muscles before you started just in case you stumbled again.

Of course, you made your mistakes now and again, got stuck on a word, laughing at how ridiculous you sounded saying ‘in’ several times in a row when you were trying to argue over tonight’s dinner, but Lucifer never cracked a joke like you did about yourself.

He smiled, happy that you didn’t let this impact your personality and recovered quickly and, gradually, at snail's pace it felt like at the time, you could hold a conversation, a bright smile on your face when you were able to pull it off.

“Lucifer, I didn’t stutter this time!”

“Well done, MC, shall I give you a reward?”

Mammon:

“Useless human, can’t even talk, huh?”

Trying to act like the big tough guy he played himself out to be didn’t fare well when you first arrived in Devildom, his brothers practically beat him up every other day for it.

The first time you laid your eyes upon a demon and they explained you would be a transfer student, it took you a few minutes of silence to understand what was actually going on.

It wasn’t because this wasn’t an extraordinary situation, you were an avid reader of fantasy novels and had waited for the day to be transported away from your boring, mundane life, but you just couldn’t compute verbal speech.

In potion class, you had to ask the teacher to write down the ingredients and the quantities because you couldn’t picture the words themselves, so you couldn’t understand what the potion was actually meant to do.

“What’re you writing it all down for?”

“It’s easier for me to listen when I can read what they’re saying. I guess it’s because my hearing’s crap?”

But your hearing wasn’t all that bad, it was just easier to explain it that way than explaining how transcriptions help you listen.

Sometimes, in the hallways of RAD, the bustling students and whispering gossiping of you, a human, making a pact with Mammon? Apparently it was hilarious to everyone else.

But it wasn’t what the demons were saying, it was how loud they were saying it.

It was just too many noises at once, you couldn’t decipher the surround-sound mumbling and it stressed you out, made you uncomfortable, and gave you that all too familiar feeling of a panic attack due to the sensory overload.

Mammon realised your discomfort as tears grew in your eyes and your breathing quickened and, for a moment, he was moving to beat up every single devil that ever even mentioned the word ‘human’.

“Ma-Mammon!” Your frail voice and a tug on his sleeve pulled him back to Devildom and he turned back around to you, watching as you clenched your eyes shut, trying to ignore the buzzing that continued to rattle your brain.

“Can you take me some place quiet?”

From then on, you would often spend your lunch breaks in a quiet classroom away from the majority of students. It was a good place for you to wind down, especially, when you two were close enough, Mammon would hug you closely, helping the panic in your heart when you did have a panic attack due to all the noises.

You didn’t have them as much now, the noise cancelling headphones he had bought you brought solace as you walked from classroom to classroom.

In class, he would try his best to act as scribe when you were running behind, but he did a terrible job. His handwriting was abysmal, only now did he appreciate how quickly you had to write to keep up with the lessons.

You appreciate the sentiment all the same, placing a quick kiss on his cheek- you were dating at this point- and explained that he didn’t have to do that for you, you could just get a copy of the teacher’s notes after class.

Now he could never feel more guilty about picking on you when you first got to Devildom.

“Hey, Mamo?”

“Yeah, MC?”

“Thanks for not getting angry at me.”

Leviathan:

You were pretty silent, never really talking unless you were spoken to directly.

Yet, you still had that dumb, normie trap of cute smile on your face when you listened to everyone ranting and raving.

When you did speak, it was quiet, almost a whisper.

Thank Diavolo for the demon’s enhanced hearing because, if they didn’t, they would be constantly asking you to speak up.

It wasn’t because you didn’t like your voice or you thought you were too loud otherwise, it was just because you couldn’t really be bothered to be louder.

You were content with just listening, watching everyone have a vivid conversation about the latest trouble Mammon had gotten into or Satan raving about the last Detective show you needed to watch.

You never had any questions to ask in class, and the ones you did have would usually be asked by another student before you got the chance to even raise your hand. You weren’t a genius, just a good listener.

Levi understood, somewhat. Why would you want to talk to his normie brothers? They had nothing interesting to say.

Most of the time he suspected you just weren’t listening to them.

But, it’s when you were alone together in his room as he told you about the latest anime he was enjoying, he got annoyed.

“Are you even listening to me? I don’t even know why I try. You don’t deserve Henry!”

“I was listening. You were explaining how you think the next season of TSL is going to go. I’ll admit, the Lord of Shadow saving that servant from the Lord of Corruption seems a little far fetched, but it’d be interesting to watch.”

That had possibly been the longest group of sentences he had ever heard you string together at once. And they were so soft, no hint of trepidation from his accusation.

Eyes wide in embarrassment for misreading the situation, and getting so aggressive about it, Leviathan looked away.

“I’m sorry, I know I seem really dismissive all the time. I just enjoy listening to you talk about your passions.”

The bright smile on your face calmed him down, as it usually did, and, every so often, you would make your comments about the shows you know only because of him. He was very good at explaining plot lines. Even when you had never seen the show, you felt like you had.

You would mainly just talk to Levi from then on, getting to the point where you could express your own hobbies without him judging you as a normie and more as a friend.

Well, not a friend, more than that, much more, but a friend would have to do for now.

The first time you strike up a conversation with him, calling his name from down the hallway of the house you’re staying in as he walks with Asmodeus, Mammon and Beelzebub is possibly the greatest day of Levi’s life.

“Lefty.” You accidentally pronounce his name wrong, like you sometimes do with “Bell” and “Ashmo”.

You didn’t have any problems with saying their names normally, but when you were tired, all hopes of communicating like a normal human being went out the window.

Your words were a low mumble, but they were something Levi had learnt to understand fluently from your late night gaming sessions that would usually end in ruin when your tired brain drastically slowed your reflexes.

“I heard it was your 200,000th bicentennial birthday coming up, so I asked one of my friends to commission this for you.”

Only Diavolo knows how you managed to pronounce centennial at this time of night, but you did it, handing him a paper-wrapped, flat square, a light blush dusting both your cheeks.

Asmo made a flirty, teasing comment about how close you two seemed and how, now, Levi was the lucky one.

Mammon got jealous, demanding that he wanted a birthday present, even though his milestone couple centuries had literally been a couple centuries ago.

Beel’s stomach grumbled, but he was a little curious about what you could have possibly gifted Levi, and how many words you just said as loud as they would usually be, which was wildly out of character for you.

“It’s the Lord of Shadow and the servant.” Levi gasped upon seeing the magnificent drawing your friend had made for you, which you insisted on paying for, and never had Levi been so jealous to have a friend like that. A friend with such talent.

“You were right, he did save her.” You smiled, eyes twinkling at the positive reaction Levithan had made.

You had seen the similarities in the characters with you and the demon. The servant was said to have had their voice stolen as a child, long before they and the Lord of Shadow had met. And it was obvious to you the similarities the anime brothers had with the demon brothers, but you wouldn’t dare tell Levi that. You were worried he’d get shy and call you a normie again.

So that statement you made was a form of confession to Levi. Something you hoped he would understand.

“You watched the season without me?! How did you even get the DVD? It’s not even out yet!”

Yeah, no such luck there.

“Levi, you know what isn’t fair?”

“What could possibly be unfair for you in this situation?”

“That you aren’t as good a listener as I am.”

Satan:

You were an avid texter, just like Satan.

Your fingers moved so quickly against the screen of your D.D.D or the keyboard of a computer, it was amazing someone could see them.

And you were smart. On electronics, you could keep up conversations on the latest book you were reading and discuss the detective shows you and he liked to watch together.

It was only when you spoke in person did your conversations so down.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” You cried out after a particularly long and troublesome stutter, mainly annoyed because it was an easy word but all the b’s tied your tongue like a tongue twister. Ironically, you felt like you were blubbering like an idiot.

Your stammer used to be worse, far worse. So bad you couldn’t even tell your parents anything without getting angry at yourself, but you got the speech therapy and learnt to just take it slow when you got eager.

Everytime you see Satan, you want to be able to match his intellect and speed. You felt almost competitive.

But it would hardly ever work out in your favour, your ‘S’s coming out like you were trying to start an old engine and ‘B’s and ‘D’s being switched in for each other like you were a toddler.

You spoke before you thought of what you were going to say, hoping the words would just float out of my mouth like everyone else’s did.

But no. Not for you.

You had to carefully plan each sentence, thinking about every conversation you had so you could make a pre-made answer just so you wouldn’t look like a fool taking so long to speak.

You were ashamed most of the time, bullied for your impediment as a child and even in your teen years by people you told yourself were your friends but really weren’t when they called you teasing nicknames instead of your given one after you had asked them several times to use it.

They were the main reason you still didn’t have the confidence to speak well now.

“Hey, take it easy. We’re not in a rush.”

Satan would always be nice, politely giving you the time you needed to take a breather, calm down, and start over again, still blushing from your last stuttering episode.

“Why don’t you call me an idiot?”

A lot of questions similar to these, the only difference- the name you would be called, passed your lips sometimes, when there was a lull in your time together.

You were used to people making fun, telling you to just shut up already so they didn’t have to hear your stupidity anymore.

“You’re not stupid. I care about what you have to say.”

Satan was always so serious everytime he answered a variation of your question, showing you he really cared.

You blushed, your mind blank and it would take a couple minutes after that initial compliment for you to reboot.

It was true, though.

Satan enjoyed watching your lips move and the sound of your voice as you two discussed who the killer in his detective show could be.

You both always came to the same conclusion before the episode ended.

Because most of your conversations happened through text, he found he missed your tone and expressive face when you got really into a subject.

He didn’t care if you stuttered, it was far better than just watching words flash across a screen, as most of your conversations went, on his D.D.D

Although, he did care that you got so angry with yourself.

Being the Avatar of Wrath, he understood how easy it was to give into frustration and just want to hit something every time you made a mistake, he had done that many times in his younger years, and it wasn’t healthy.

It wasn’t healthy to be ashamed of a mere stumble or get mad at yourself for it, you never learnt that way.

One night, laying in his bed, platonically, you shared your reasoning behind getting so mad everytime you stuttered.

You had seen Satan’s demon-form once before, but never had you seen it arise so quickly and so fiercely.

You had been down all day and he had brought you to his room so you could feel comfortable enough to talk to him, but this fearful man, no, creature before you only put you more on edge.

But he continued to hold you.

He continued to wrap his arms around you from behind, spooning your body, trying his best not to fly out of hell right now and hunt down those who had picked on and teased you for all those years for something you couldn’t even help.

To think the reason you hated something he found so endearing was because some mere humans had made you think your excitement to communicate with people was something wrong?

“I don’t think this exchange program is going to work out.”

“Wh...Why?” You tried your hardest now to sound strong, sighing to yourself when you repeated the letters.

“Because I won’t be able to hold back if I have free access to the human world. What kind of assholes do that?”

“Teenage assholes.”

Asmodeus:

What a cute little airhead.

From the moment he first met you, Asmo loved the clueless looks on your face as you sifted through the information you were being given, seconds behind the punch everyone else could get to.

You were slow, but you were meticulous, combing through every piece of information you could to give the correct response.

You were actually pretty smart because of that fact, studying so hard on everything you did so you weren’t embarrassed by being wrong.

And you weren’t too big with the whole ‘social cues’ thing either, mistaking Satan’s sarcasm for truth and Leviathan’s anger for genuine, relationship-ruining upset, desperately trying to fix the situation so that no one would get hurt.

You were selfless in the strangest of ways, too, opting to go without something you actually, really needed before asking someone for help.

Once, you had tried ordering shower gel off of Akuzon, but, instead, ordered Shaitan Gell, a special ingredient often used by witches to summon demons.

You had wondered why it was so expensive, but thought that maybe the Devildom economy wasn’t doing so well right now.

(It wasn’t your money you were using, so what the hell?)

It was even more confusing when it smelled a little off, but demons had strange tastes. Beelzebub literally ate brains and bat wings on the daily.

When Diavolo showed up in your shower the first time you used the oddly thick, black liquid, you just cocked your head, too weird to be embarrassed. Thinking this was a regular occurance in Devildom, you gave the prince a hearty hello and asked him, if he needed anything, could he please wait outside so you could get dressed first.

The news spread like wildfire, especially when Diavolo randomly vanished from a meeting with Lucifer.

When everyone did find out, as Lucifer was reprimanding you for using such a relic in that way, they teased you endlessly, some offering you their own makes of the potion so you might accidentally summon them in the same way.

Every flirty or sexual remark Asmo made went right over your head, thinking that with every personal question he asked was just asked to make conversation and not genuine interest on his part.

“Do you have a partner?”

“Well, no, I don’t really compete in dance competitions or anything.”

“What positions do you usually go for?”

“I don’t play many sports, but if I had to pick, I’d say a pitcher in baseball. I have a pretty mean throw!”

It actually became a little bewildering how oblivious you were to all of his advances, thinking every time he draped himself over you he was cold and you offered him your jumper.

He took them everytime, so you were starting to run low. He tended to hoard them in his room, savouring the sweet scent of the body wash he had bought for you after the Shaitan incident.

“Asmo, can I get my hoodie back?”

You called through his closed door at some point after returning from school in the dead of winter, shivering in the sweat pants and long sleeved top you already had on.

You were generous, you didn’t think you personally were, but all the brothers knew you would give anyone anything if they asked for it.

That’s why it wasn’t that ridiculous when Asmo had all of your jackets. Hoodies from years ago, sweaters you bought just to treat yourself because they were so soft, and even this jumper you got from your ex-boyfriend in high school, something you meant to give back but never managed to. You forgot every time you went to meet him with that exact intent the reason for seeing him.

It didn’t remind you of him, he barely wore it before you practically stole it, but it did make Asmo’s heart skip a beat at the ‘sweater-paws’ you got from the much-too-long sleeves.

Following a clattering from what sounded like trash cans, followed by a comical shriek of a cat, the door flew open to a slightly disheveled Asmodeus, fabric clutched in his hand as he stood topless before you.

“Oh, sorry, Asmo. I didn’t mean to disturb you. I’m just so cold.”

You laughed to show you weren’t upset with him as you rubbed your arms, bouncing on the balls of your feets to get your blood moving enough to create some heat.

How could all these devils, avatars of the seven deadly sins, not have heating?

“Let me warm you up, MC!”

Without even stopping to hear your answer, but he knew you’d say yes, no matter what, Asmo pulled you in by the wrist, immediately wrapping his bare arms around you the moment the door was closed.

He was warm and you were comfortable with him, he showed you curiosity and care, so you eased into that embrace, thinking it a friendly gesture as a thank you for using your clothes all the time.

When you felt a slight nibble on your ear, you started to freak out a little.

You stuttered out an inquiry as to what he was doing, shyly pushing away as he drew back with his flirtatious smirk.

“I’ve made it so obvious for so long, MC. I really like you.”

Asmo cooed back, prodding your puffed out cheek with the tip of his tongue as you tilted your head to the side the same way you did every time someone told you something new.

Knowing you would be taking a moment to compute the information, Asmo used this chance to bury his face in the crook of your neck.

“I really like you too, Asmo.”

The realisation came pretty suddenly.

You had never put much thought into it.

Sure, he was the Avatar of Lust, he could just be saying this so he could express his temporary desires, but that was how you felt. You weren’t one for holding back, you were always scared of forgetting the topics of your thoughts if you didn’t say them aloud, so you just went for it.

Beelzebub:

Does this person even have bones?!

Like, seriously, your tripping over your feet like they’re not even attached to your body.

Rolling your ankle, walking off in directions that definitely don’t lead to where you intend on going, skipping right passed the class you’re meant to be attending.

The amount of times you’ve gotten lost in both the House of Lamentation and RAD is honestly worrying.

Your sense of direction? What even is a map because it seems like you’ve never even heard of the concept of signs or specific routes you need to take to get to your bedroom.

To help with your impossibly slow way of getting a lay of the land in your new dorm, you would often take midnight strolls.

Often getting lost, which is how you found Belphegor up in the attic, even when you had stayed on the same floor.

That’s how you and Beel got so close.

Because of the delectable scents coming from the kitchen, you would often find him having his late night snacks.

He would invite you to stay, at first only because Lucifer had instructed him to walk you back to your room every time he found you aimlessly wandering the house late at night.

“Is your ankle okay?” He would ask through a mouthful of food, but somehow you were still able to understand him.

Blushing, you looked down as your injury that was caused earlier in the day. You had stepped weird on the side of your foot- something that would usually happen and something you would usually be able to walk away from- but this time it was on the tall spiral stairs of the school you were still getting to know, sending you tumbling down flights and flights of steps.

It was a wonder you were human, because even Solomon was shocked you survived that.

“Y-Yeah, just a little red,” was an understatement.

You’re ankle killed. It was only a little swollen thanks to the spell your sorcerer friend used on you, but that didn’t help the sprain of your tendons. It was slightly bruised, covered by your loosest, most comfortable socks.

“Are you embarrassed?” Beel pointed out your bashful blush and you looked back up. He had seen your obvious hobble as you made your way to his side, but didn’t want to mention it in case you were feeling fragile about the subject.

“It just gives me flashbacks, is all.”

Oh?

Memories from MC’s past?

Yes, Beel would very much like to hear about that.

Not to tease or bribe you with, he was genuinely curious about your little human life. Not that you could tell, but he had never been so curious about another being like that.

“Oh, god, well, I guess I trust you.” You joked, blushing harder as you laughed about the memory that plagues your thoughts.

One time, in high school, you were walking out of the cantine when you tripped over literally nothing, throwing your bottle of water across the school yard like you needed to save it from your fall. It landed in the middle of a group of older students.

The amount of laughs you got from that. The teacher that came up to you to ask if you were okay. The cut that occured on your knee.

(Yes, this is a personal story. Yes, I have ptsd every time I pick up a plastic bottle of water)

Oh, it was like you were reliving the horror right there and then.

“It was mortifying! My friends still bring it up. To. this. day.” You sulk, resting your forehead on the table to hide the deep red on your face.

“Did it hurt?” The blunt question came as a shock, that’s for sure, and you no longer felt unbearably hot when you looked up to see him. There was little look of amusement except for a kind-hearted smile.

“W-Well, not as much as this other time...”

You found yourself telling him all of your most embarrassing tales, seeking for that one story that would make him laugh the way everyone else would laugh at you.

He didn’t. At all. It was actually a little worrying that he found none of your stories funny.

Truthfully, he did find the want to chuckle at a few of them, but he didn’t want to betray your trust by laughing at such ‘precious’ memories for you.

#this has been in my drafts for far too long #I have 20 other wips #why do i do this to myself?#I so wanna write but I have like four assignments due and I have NOT started any of them TT #obey me!#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me mamo #obey me levi #obey me leviathan #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me fluff

141 notes · View notes

bnha-butterfly · 4 years ago

Text

So you’ve officially created your Tumblr blog. What now? In this post I’ll cover graphics and setting up your navigation! I’ll also mention what you should do before you start posting your own content or before you have content to post at the end!

Graphics!

Icons

Your icon is how most people will recognize your blog on their dashboard. An easy way to do icons is to use a manga cap or an anime screenshot! Alternatively there are people who make icons that you can find it by searching Tumblr, but please check whether or not these people require you to re-blog the icons you use or give them credit in your description! If you’re using art, make sure that the artist either gives you explicit permission to use it or has stated publicly that it’s OK to use their art. (please note that if the artist is OK with repost of their art they are generally OK with you using their art in icons but make sure you credit them!) PicCrew is also another popular source to make icons but make sure you credit the artist/link the picCrew!

Headers/banners

As far as using an artists work the same rules that apply for icons apply here! Either get the explicit permission from the artist or make sure they’re OK with their work being used for these things/being re-posted. Generally I don’t use work from the artist and I just use manga caps (which you can find just by googling or searching on Pinterest for [insert character here] manga caps)

You can search Tumblr for headers because there are people who make headers and other graphics. Just make sure you pay attention to peoples rules!

If you want to try your hand at making your own banners or headers. You can use Canva to make gifs and plain banners/headers. I personally use PicsArt to make my post banners. Mainly just because I can do it on my phone and can work on it really easily. Generally any photo editing app should work. PicsArt just has a lot of stickers and effects that can really pull together a banner.

Dividers

Once again there are people who make dividers on Tumblr! But you can also use PicsArt again to do your own personal dividers so they’re more custom to your blogs theme. Although it’s important to note that you won’t be able to do those super thin line dividers on PicsArt because there is a minimum pixel width!

(If you’re iffy on the size of things I’d actually advise you to download somebody else’s banner/divider and use that as a template for sizing!)

Setting up navigation!

Your navigation will be the place where the theme or aesthetic or color palette for your blog should really shine through!

(Edit: I forgot to mention this when I originally wrote this. But when I personally created my navigation I drafted everything in one very large Google Docs file. I recommend that you have everything with its links set up in a Google Docs file. Just because Tumblr has a habit of deleting posts and if you have it in a Google Docs file at the very least that auto saves and you have a back up.)

Your navigation should be broken into at least four parts! You’re about me, rules, master list, and tags (tags are optional technically but is a nice added touch). Remember this is not a Bible for what your navigation is supposed to look like, you can add and subtract to this general structure as you feel necessary!

About me!

Give as much information or as little information as you’re comfortable with. Generally you want to have your name or pen name, The pronouns you use and your time zone if you’re comfortable with it. Most people also have fun facts about them in there about me section. If you are a Black or Neurodiverse writer it’s good to have that also in your about me! A lot of people put their astrology stuff in there about me section, also the results of personality tests and things like that! This is also where you should put your BYF (before you follow) and DNI (Do not interact)

Rules

What do you put in your rules it’s really up to you. I’d advise you to look at a lot of other people’s rules to get a general idea of what you might wanna put in yours. The only thing you want to include in your rules is that you reserve your right to reject asks/request! Be sure to also include what characters you right for. Here are some things to consider in making your rules!

What demographics do you write for?

What demographics do you not write for?

Are you comfortable writing touchy subjects (things like eating disorders or self harm)?

Do you write NSFW content? Or do you cap it at mildly suggestive content?

How many characters will you limit per request?

Do you write Angst?

Do you write for ships or do you only write reader inserts?

Masterlist

Another portion of your navigation I would recommend you look at other peoples to get an idea for. There are tons of ways to organize a masterlist. The way you organize your master list will depend on the series you write for and the content you make. So look at the way people who run similar blogs to yours organize their masterlist.

Tags

So you do not need a tags portion for your navigation! The main reason people have a tags section in their masterlist is so people can blacklist tags related to anything they don’t want to see on the dashboard!

If you run both a NSFW and SFW blog (that you allow minors to follow you on) you need to tag your NSFW things so minors can block that tag. Your tags can be themed, but they don’t have to. The best way to create tags is to create things that you’re going to remember!

I stress that you create a writing tag that you put on every single piece you publish. You can also create character tags or series tags outside of the standard tags used in that fandom. (for example your character tags might be a nickname you have for a character instead of their actual name)

You can make tags for the asks you get sent and for your mutuals or named Anons! (if you get emoji anons it’s best to write out the name of the emoji instead of putting the actual emoji. Just so it’s easier to search because Tumblr does not recognize emoji‘s in it search!) you might also want to create a tag that you put on everything you re-blog for the people who only want to see your content, A tag you put on all your posts that aren’t writing (for example my “Morpho talks” tag), and a tag for the fics that you would recommend to your followers!

What if I don’t have any of my own content to post?

So this is a pretty easy one. Re-blog stuff, I didn’t start posting my own content until a month after I started this blog and at that point I already had a few followers. Bye setting yourself up as a fandom blog you’re letting people who are interested in that fandom know what you’re going to post. Don’t be afraid to shitpost and don’t be afraid to do things that show your personality! This is also a good way to practice getting into the habit of using your tags!

Don’t only re-blog art but also re-blog fics with comments in the tags! i’ve literally made a handful of mutuals just by re-blogging their stuff and the things they write with comments in the tags! Writers do not get a lot of comments on this platform but comments really encourage writers to keep on writing!

So this is a really long post. Please tell me if there’s anything else specifically you’d like me to talk about in this series!

#writing on tumblr #writing #writing tumblr #writing fan fiction #start writing on tumblr #writing for fandoms #series: writing on tumblr #Morpho writes #long post #I think I’m going to write about actually making posts next?#and I’ll talk about things like the best times to post and how to utilize the tagging system!#also also talk about how the length of a fic might impact its reach #because I’ve noticed that longer fics tend not to do as well on Tumblr

50 notes · View notes

ayuuria · 4 years ago

Text

Yashahime Translation: Animedia January 2021 Issue

Please do not repost this translation without my consent! This includes screenshots of any type and amount. If you wish to share this translation, simply link to this post.

For more information regarding the use of my translations, click here.

I do apologize if some of the translations feel awkward. This one was slightly technical so I had to do some research on the side.

Animedia Education Lecture

You think you know but you surprisingly don’t

Working in Anime

— Editing Edition –

A corner where we delve into the work of anime production. This time, we ask Nii Kazuhiro of (share) IMAGICA Lab., who handles the editing for “Hanyō no Yashahime”, about editing!

The job of “editing” is vital not just in anime but also in live movies and tv dramas. People who like films may be able to vaguely imagine the burden of having the big role of organizing the scenes. However, exactly what sort of work do they do in anime production? This time, Mr. Nii Kazuhiro of (share) IMAGICA Lab., who oversees the editing of the action packed “Hanyō no Yashahime”, makes an appearance! We had him discuss editing and the special work process unique to “Hanyō no Yashahime”.

Tell us Nii-san! Let’s learn about “Editing”

Q: What kind of job is “Editing”?

It is a job that manages the flow of the whole film by connecting scenes or shots together. For example, how well a signature move in battle or sports is executed is dependent upon the tempo adjustment “editing”. Other things like scenes where shots are divided effectively by the placement of songs or music in an important work, will always have an editor’s hand (adjustment) involved. Even if the animation is created to flow exactly like the storyboard, a lot of times the timing of those scenes is fine-tuned with editing. Timing is just as important as properly moving images after all.

Q. During what phase of the anime production do you work?

Typically in anime, shots are edited at a phase where the color and sound have not yet been added and is completed as each phase in the production moves forward. Editing takes place before the audio work. Basically, it occurs twice: before voice recording and dubbing (translator’s note: Dubbing here does not mean voice over! Dubbing is the phase where they mix the voicing, sound effects, and music together to match the images). There are many works where color is added after dubbing has concluded, but in “Hanyō no Yashahime”, in order to allow for dubbing with the color, colored images are used as materials when editing. Since the images are colored, we can confirm the fine details with the director and production supervisor and then make adjustments.

Q. How does one become an “Editor”?

I entered a vocational school focused on film making and learned not just about editing but film making as a whole such as filming and lighting. There wasn’t any convenient editing software at the time, so I joined my current company that does film production thinking “Editing is something that can’t be self-taught so I want to learn on the job”. If you want to pursue editing, then you should watch as many different types of films as you can. You can’t notice things in production like direction and the camera angle of a shot if you don’t have interest in it, so I think it’s best to study it for the sake of knowledge.

Q. What abilities are needed for “Editing”?

Communication skills are an absolute must. Especially in animation which has a lot of detailed work itineraries and staff members creating it. To ensure that there are no mistakes, you must ask the director or production supervisor on anything you are unsure of. Of course, you can’t keep asking questions on every single shot so there are times where you will need to understand past productions and make decisions yourself. However, being able to muster up the courage and ask when necessary is important. You need communication skills for that purpose.

The “Hanyō no Yashahime” Production Site Packed with Fixations

— Please tell us the details on how you came to oversee the editing in “Hanyō no Yashahime”.

I had the opportunity to work with Director Satō (Teruo) on “Aikatsu Stars!” and he reached out to me. Since the story was connected to “Inuyasha”, which was broadcasted when I was a child, I felt a lot of pressure at first. While I was nervous when I heard the that main staff hadn’t changed much from “Inuyasha”, I felt “That’s all the more reason I have to work hard”.

— In regard to the editing work, did Director Satō make any demands?

I touched on this earlier in my response to “what phase we work” where I discussed how the director requested “Please have the images close to completion before the dubbing, where the music and voicing will be decided finalized, takes place. I would like to have editing done just before the dubbing as well.” This is what makes this so different from other works.

For example, in action scenes when the image is unfinished, it’s hard to understand the small movements or context. Hence, it’s difficult to take a “Maybe make the tempo like this” sort of editing approach. In typical animes, there are a lot of times where the final images solidify after the sound is completed. When that happens, there’s not much room to make edits for the most part.

However, in “Hanyō no Yashahime”, the images are mostly done before the dubbing so we can make adjustments with the director while matching the images with the voice actor’s lines. I thought it was a good idea. This is a trait unique to this work.

— Was there an aspect that you yourself focused on when editing this work?

While it’s a work with a lot of serious developments, what I focus on during those scenes is the “the interval between emotions”. In live film works, for thinking scenes, the actor’s “thinking act” is included so there’s an interval. However, in anime, the movement simply stops and there are no lines, so a lot of times you can’t measure the interval. Nevertheless, those serious scenes are important in “Hanyō no Yashahime” so I think it’s important to have “intervals” which is what I’m careful about. On the other hand, there are comical scenes, so I’m careful not to destroy the tempo. In anime, the tempo can change if it’s off by 6 frames*

*1 frame = 24 frames per second

The Feeling of Fun in Doing “Editing” Work

— In anime editing, does the work’s genre make a difference?

It does. Lately in action and sport (animes), materials included are not just from the storyboard but also from 3D CG as well, so we’re careful to make sure the connection between that and normal image (2D) scenes don’t feel out of place. When I first started, I couldn’t get the hang of it and was at a loss. The 3D CG portion is done by a different production team instead of the animation (drawing) team, so during my edits I couldn’t visualize the complete final form and fumbled as I worked.

In terms of idol anime, there’s “Aikatsu Stars!” that I worked with Director Satō on, but I was still a novice then… In work that’s geared towards children, I focused on making the tempo of the conversation scenes as steady as possible. If the tempo is too fast, it will end with everything being breezed through and a child will become unable to follow. I remember being careful of that.

— Are there times where you have to edit multiple episodes at the same time?

I mainly only work on one episode at a time. It’s just that periodically I have to confirm and make adjustments on a line-by-line basis in another episode at the same time.

— What part of “Editing” do you feel makes the jobs worthwhile?

In anime, images and CG shots that have been completed at each phase of the process are gathered individually as materials for editing. Updating those materials into one new episode and getting to see the finished product first is what “Editing” is. I think this is what makes the job of “Editing” fun the most. I get a sense of responsibility that I’m managing not only the shots but the entire work as a whole. Also, because I’ve seen the production process, I feel happy and simply moved like “That’s amazing” when all the phases are completed and the whole anime is finished. This is when I feel worthwhile as an editor. Also, I don’t think there’s much opportunity to take part in the production of the character movement and camera work in live filming, so I think this is what makes editing anime fun.

— After going through all the work, how do you feel when you watch the broadcasting of the finished version?

I end up watching it from different angles but when I watch it as a regular viewer, I become happy nonetheless. Of course, there are times where I personally think “I should’ve done this” at the little things. Now with social media, I know the viewers’ reactions in real time, so when there was a huge response to episode 1 with Inuyasha and the others, that put pressure on me going forward (laughs).

The Charm of “Hanyō no Yashahime” That You Personally Enjoy

— Of all the episodes that have been broadcasted thus far, which episode left the biggest impression on you?

Episode 3 where the three heroines (Towa, Setsuna, and Moroha) came together. I got to watch the (voice) recording for that episode and the battle scene was really cool. Also, I was able to properly draw the first conversation between the three so that left the biggest impression on me in that sense.

Then there’s episode 7. It’s the episode where you return to the scene of the three of them that at the very beginning of episode 1. The composition of back tracking up to episode 1 left an impression on me, so even as I was editing episode 7, I admired how it felt like the mystery was being revealed or rather feeling like “I see. This is where it connects”.

— By the way, who is your favorite character personally?

Moroha. She’s fundamentally an energetic character, her skills in action scenes are cool, and the way she seems to mimic the movements of her father, Inuyasha, is entertaining as well. While she behaves in a manner that makes you wonder if she had a tragic past, she’s a character whose emotions are easy to read so that’s why she’s my favorite.

— Including upcoming highlights, please give a message to our readers.

Going forward there will be more episodes regarding the three heroine’s past which I think is a highlight. As I was editing a future episode, I felt “We’re approaching the true nature of the story”. Please look forward to the cool action scenes and the episode where the three’s past will become clear.

#yashahime #hanyō no yashahime #yashahime: princess half-demon #translation

31 notes · View notes

13iamlucky13 · 4 years ago

Text

Rating Bandori Ships - Moca Edition:

Alright so as is probably obvious for anyone whose talked to me, I have a lot of opinions and I like to talk about my opinions. And one thing my poor multishipper heart has a lot of opinions on is Bandori ships because this fandom is either multiship heaven or hell depending on how you look at it.

So I decided 'hey why not pop off about them' so that's what I'm going to do startig with a certain Moca Aoba who I am totally not at all biased towards.

Obligatory reminder that these are just my opinions and this isn't meant as an attack on any ship. Not that I feel particularly negative towards any Moca ship I've seen yet but still.

Ratings:

MocaRan- 10/10

Yes I like the main arguably somewhat overrated Moca ship. What can I say? They have so much canon interaction between the two of them and their dynamic is really what got me started towards getting severely hooked on Bandori as I am now. They both are shown to care deeply for each other and seem to get the other on a really deep level. For Moca, Ran seems to bring out the most genuine shows of emotion out of her while also being a good support for her, if in a very Ran way. For Ran, Moca seems to help her take things a little less seriously, and when necessary acts as a shoulder to cry on. Sasquana broke me.

LisaMoca- 7/10

I enjoy this ship. As much as it seems to be just kind of a toss on to the people who ship YukiRan (which don't get me wrong is also a very great ship I have a thing for rivalries with tension) Lisa and Moca have a great dynamic. I tend to see it as a brOTP more often which is why I didn't give it a 9 or 10 but they definitely have potential and them kissing on company time would definitely catch my interest. They also seem like they'd be a really supportive relationship. Moca can help Lisa chill out and not be so hard on herself and Lisa can motivate Moca to do things.

MocaHima- 6/10

This is another situation where I have a harder time seeing it as anything but some very good platonic love. They have a dynamic together that is extremely fun don't get me wrong, but by that token I don't feel the same tension between them. Moca's teasing of Himari tends to feel like less flirting in disguise and more like the way she'd tease a sibling. Besides Himari clearly has a type and Idk how much Moca fits that. They are shown to care for each other quite a lot though and in a situation where they are plopped together romantically I can see them having a wholesome dynamic since they have such a good platonic base

SayoMoca- 9/10

I've seen this all of once that didn't involve the two of them in an OT3 with Tsugu, and honestly? I'm kinda there for both, but this is just about Sayo and Moca. Now this is mainly because grumpy x clown is my jam, I really don't know how much canon there actually is to go on here. I really like the idea of them both bonding over how ridiculous Yukina and Ran's posturing can be, Moca narrating every encounter like a sports commentator for fun with Sayo acting like she's ignoring it but quietly adding in her own remarks and Moca catching them. There's also potential in Lisa sorta shoving them together either to try to help motivate Moca or maybe to help Sayo with Hina in a way by giving her 'practice' with the other eccentric genius of Bandori. Either way there's a lot of ways to kickstart it but once it gets going I also think they would have a really good dynamic for somewhat similar reasons to LisaMoca with a side of it seeming similarly balanced to MocaRan.

HinaMoca- 8/10

I'm honestly not too sure why I jam with these guys together as much as I do but that doesn't stop me. One of them is enough to cause chaos so what happens when you put the both of them together? Also they would be the types to blast an extra bassboosted version of Megalovina or even just play it on guitar at their wedding if they even bothered to do something as traditional as that and I'd be there for it

ChisaMoca- 7/10

This is a ship I've been slowly warming up to so this rating is kinda subject to change. Initially I didn't understand it as they barely interact in canon and I didn't see much potential in their dynamic but the more I think on it the more there seems to be. This is mainly because, in one case a literal sense, both are actresses. Chisato literally but Moca definitely puts on her own acts and clown show. So the idea of the two being able to peek under the other's mask is kind of interesting to me. Also serious x clown will never not vibe

MisaMoca- 8/10

I don't ship this in a serious sense so I can't give it full marks but in comedy or crack, even crack taken seriously they are god tier. They're the types who would behave like an old married couple but somehow in a really chill low-energy way. There's a great fic that has them having an ironic candle-lit dinner date that sums up why pretty well I can link it if anyone sees this and wants it

TomoMoca- 6/10

Pretty much the same as HimaMoca except instead of Moca not being Tomoe's type it's more about how even if they did both have mutual feelings I have a hard time figuring out how they'd get together in the first place. Tomoe probably wouldn't realize her feelings even if she had them and Moca would do her best to bury them under humor and good ol emotional suppression. If they did manage to get together though I can see them being cute.

SaayaMoca- 5/10

I don't really feel much when it comes to this as a romantic ship. It's there I guess? I like these guys a lot platonically and don't have a reason to dislike it romantically but it doesn't really make me feel anything. There's potential but I just feel like on most fronts LisaMoca is superior.

MocaTsugu- 11/10

Probably my OTP for the fandom if I'm being honest and the fact that it's chronically underrated hurts. Don't get me wrong I adore MocaRan and SayoTsugu is also very good I've got nothing against the chocomints, but come on. The obvious name play is right there! In all seriousness though I love these guys both as a platonic and romantic pairing so much. It might just be me, but I swear it feels like every time Moca's ever actively suggested something Tsugu was the first to jump on the support train. Moca doesn't seem to really punch down with her teasing of Tsugu the same way she does with Himari and Ran either, and if I remember right there's been at least a few times it's seemed to border on flirting territory even when considering it's Moca. The two also have several of the things the other Moca ships have going for them but I think these two do it better. Tsugu being a gentle but consistent motivator who deeply cares for Moca gives me life. And Moca herself has potential to be a calming presence with her chill demeanor who could get Tsugu to take a break for once in her life like she deserves. I'm also absolute trash for the headcanon that Afterglow all took turns having crushes on Tsugu in middle school. I just like the idea that Moca never really got over that crush and it comes back in full force once they're in highschool. Pair that with some good Tsugu lacking self-worth angst and believing her feelings towards Moca aren't reciprocated because Moca clearly has a thing for Ran and even if she doesn't there's still no way she has feelings for her no matter how many times she calls her 'Tsugurific'.

And there ya go. This ended up way longer than I expected it to and tbh for most of them I have a lot more thoughts but I didn't want to turn this into a novel. Tldr MocaTsugu underrated and I have no life :')

29 notes · View notes

ultrahpfan5blog · 4 years ago

Text

Watching Snyderverse Part 3 - Zack Snyder’s Justice League

After BvS, I was honestly not particularly looking forward to Justice League. For me, it was obvious that Snyder’s versions of these characters and his overall doom and gloom approach was not something I was particularly enjoying despite some promising elements in both MoS and BvS. Then we saw exactly how JL production went down. Despite the happy face they tried to paint, the fact that there was going to be a 2 hour mandate, the fact that Whedon basically reshot a bunch of Snyder’s film with the film being a mishmash of two directors who couldn’t be any more different in their sensibilities, and that that the actors, specifically Ben Affleck, looked like they couldn’t wait to be done with this movie and this role, made it obvious that the movie wasn’t going to turn out well. So my expectations were rock bottom for the theatrical cut. As it happens, that was a good thing. The theatrical cut of JL is a thoroughly unremarkable movie. I don’t abhor it but it is so obviously a patchwork job and a studio mandated film that there is no passion or vision in the movie at all. I mean, I didn’t like BvS much at all, but there was a vision there. Theatrical cut of JL seemed like a film that felt like WB just felt they had to put out there and then move on. And then years later, we get Zack Snyder’s full version of Justice League. I watched it in one sitting, which was maybe a mistake because it is heavy viewing for 4 hours. Without a doubt it is a better movie than the theatrical cut. Its a little tough to judge this film because this is no way a movie that would have been released theatrically. But its also impossible to judge on what it may have been if it was edited down to a 3 hour length. So best to just judge it on its own merits.

Firstly, the positives. This is definitely a more coherent and clear movie. The plot is not rushed and every sequence, be it a character moment or an action sequence, is fully realized without any weird edits. The film does have some more humor than the previous two Snyder films. Mainly courtesy of Ezra Miller and Jeremy Irons. And the humor is not awkward like in the theatrical cut. Ezra Miller in particular benefits from that because some of his cringey lines from the theatrical edition are cut. The special effects are largely impressive and definitely an improvement over the theatrical edition. On a character level, definitely Cyborg gets the most benefit out of all the characters. As we get a full and thorough backstory for him. We get insight into his relationship with both his parents. Steppenwolf also gets significantly more screen time and his motivations are definitely more clearly defined in the movie than in the theatrical. Miller and Momoa also get some more scenes to flesh out their individual characters. What does surprise me is that the film contains a lot of scenes which are essentially just alternate versions of scenes from the theatrical cut. The film isn’t radically different from the theatrical version, but the scenes included in this version feel a little more real. Like a scene with the entire League discussing Superman’s return in the theatrical cut made it obvious that the actors weren’t in the same room together, whereas the original scene in this movie has them clearly in the same physical space. The Superman scenes are also infinitely better without the CGI upper lip. Thankfully, Snyder doesn’t do what he did with the previous two movies and gives some breathing room between action sequences. Probably a bit too much time, but that’s better than no time at all. the tunnel action sequence and the climax set piece is definitely pretty cool. Flash actually having an active role in the climax was a big improvement. My favorite action sequence is still the Superman vs the League because it shows just how powerful Superman can be. Also, the color palette is a lot more consistent and better than the weird bright and red color palette that is used in the theatrical cut.

When it comes down to the performances from the cast, nobody really stands out. They are all fine, but unlike in BvS, where Affleck stood out. Everybody here is just motoring along. In the theatrical cut, Affleck looked completely checked out. I was hoping the original cut would beef up his performance. While it is slightly better, he’s still just a bit too restrained in the role and doesn’t leave the type of impression he left in BvS. Everyone is at their most dour self. Gal Gadot’s WW is more serious and therefore does not get to show her more radiant side in Patty Jenkins’ movies, Momoa is also similarly more dour and serious and not quite as fun as he was in Aquaman. Ray Fisher is decent but its a role that requires him to be very robotic for large chunks of the film. So its a little difficult to assess his performance. Cavill is in far too little of the movie to give much of a performance. He’s perfectly fine in the handful of scenes he has. Miller is probably the best of the lot, even though he’s still more Peter Parker than Barry Allen. Some of the supporting cast actually fare a little better. Irons is a delight whenever he’s on screen and Affleck is also at his best when they have scenes together. That dynamic works. Joe Morton is surprisingly affecting as Silas Stone, as is Billy Crudup in his brief scenes as Henry Allen. Its always nice to see more of Willem Dafoe, Diane Lane, Connie Nielsen, and JK Simmons. Simmons as Gordon was great casting and its a pity we won’t get to see more of him in that role. Amber Heard for some perplexing reason has a British accent in this film as Mera. Given Dafoe and Momoa both speak in their normal voices, that must have been a choice. It did feel a bit funny. Jared Leto and Jesse Eisenberg are back as Joker and Lex and neither of them particularly improve on their performances. I mean, they have a scene each so its no harm done, but the Joker scene particularly drags on for too long. Amy Adams has a small role and she does manage to make to get some emotion out of a handful of scenes.

The film has more than its fair share of issues. Firstly, it is just way, way too long. The pacing is glacially slow at times. And I mean that in the most literal manner. There is so much slow mo in this movie, its crazy. I swear, if you removed the slow motion, you might lose 20 minutes of the run time. Snyder is clearly in desperate need of an editor here. The film has the exact opposite problem of the theatrical cut. Whereas in the theatrical cut, it always felt that every scene was just edited a little too short, in this movie there are scenes that are going on for far too long. There are some very strange edits. Like an entire scene where women in the village are singing hyms when Arthur leaves and smelling his clothes. There is a meet cute between Iris and Barry which is completely unnecessary and is frankly slightly creepy where Barry is caressing her face while she is in the process of being thrown out of her car. Some music choices in these scenes are also a little bizarre. Everything involving the Martian Manhunter is not necessary. I mean, his involvement in a crucial Martha and Lois scene actually takes away from the emotion of that moment. And then he has a very tacked on final scene which is kind of awkward. The Knightmare scene also drags for a bit too long, especially given they are supposed to be in danger while being out in the open. We still have no more clarity as to why Bruce is having these visions. The slow pace does make things boring at times as well. While I am glad that Cyborg’s backstory gets beefed up, there is a bit too much of Cyborg being angry at his father. After a while, it gets monotonous. The film takes too long to get the team together and the first JL action sequence doesn’t happen until over 2 hours into the movie. The film should have spent a bit more time with the team interacting with one another. That’s what made the Avengers movies work and some of the best parts of this movie are also the team together. There are some Snyder tone deaf moments as per usual. While WW’s entry action sequence is very cool, I do find it funny that they have her comforting a girl and the girl wanting to be just like her after she basically obliterates the terrorist into dust. Given her abilities shown in that sequence, there is no reason she wouldn’t have been able to disable him. But instead she just obliterates him. Its all very Snyder. I do also have to wonder about that sequence. I still don’t get exactly how terrorists feel that blowing up a few city blocks will bring down the modern age. I thought this was a weird Whedon thing but it turns out to be a weird Snyder thing. Also, for all the hype about the black suit Superman, its really nothing more than an aesthetic choice for no rhyme or reason. I honestly prefer the Blue and Red if the black suit doesn’t have a point, like the restorative factor from the comics. Also, for all the blame people put on Whedon about the skimpy outfits on Amazons and the weird backside shots of WW, turns out they were all Snyder. There are a few select things that the Whedon cut did slightly better. For example, there is no real major debate or conflict within the team other than minor objections from Arthur over the implications of using the mother box to bring back Superman. Also, a sequence in the theatrical cut where Bruce admits that Clark was more human that he was, is a better version of a similar scene in this movie. Also, while not perfectly executed, the theatrical cut did acknowledge that Bruce was a human fighting amongst superpowered individuals. Also, most importantly, while Steppenwolf is an improvement over the theatrical cut, this is still a movie where the plot involves a villain trying to find three boxes. Steppenwolf is still pretty boring and the main story is not interesting at all. The Darkseid angle of this story is also overhyped since he’s barely in the film.

In the end, it feels that there is a pretty decent 3 hour movie hidden in an ok but dragged out 4 hour film. I’m glad the Snyder fans got to see it. I have had my issues with Snyder’s vision. While I feel he has grand ambitions and a sense of scale and scope, he hasn’t really got the sense of story and script to really make it work to a degree where the audience at large would appreciate it. I have seen his old storyboards and read his recent interviews about what he was going to do. It sounds very grand and very cool, but with a big potential of being a gigantic mess. Who knows what will happen in the future but at least it right now seems that they are moving on from Snyder’s vision. For this film, I am right now landing at about a 6/10, which is the highest mark out of all the Snyder DC movies. I’ve only watched it once and watching it again is a big endeavor so I won’t do it anytime soon, but maybe revisiting it will make me either like it more or less.

10 notes · View notes

talesofphantombandits · 4 years ago

Text

Tech Whiz ~ Matt Devlin - Part 1.

Hey guys, so I recently watched all the episodes of Law and Order: UK that Matt was in and came up with this idea for a story. Hope you all enjoy and let me know if you want to be tagged in future parts. Edits will be made later on.

Pairing: Matt Devlin X OC. Summary: Saylor Clarke gets a new job working on the tech aspects of solving the crimes that Ronnie and Matt investigate. She swears to herself that she will not get into any office romances but the more time she spends with Matt the harder it gets not to fall for him. Someone on the sidelines however are always watching their every interacting, when things go to the next level Saylors mystery admirer will make themselves known in the worst way possible.

Tagging those who showed interest in my post about this story, if you don’t want to be tagged in further parts let me know and i’ll untag it immediately. Thank you for showing support though <3 @dreamingundone , @fyeahmeninroyalnavy , @alittlepronetopanic

Saylor Clarke visuals.

As it is for anyone, the first day of walking into a new workplace was a nerve wracking experience. It was only made more daunting as Saylor took in all the bodies dressed in various formal suits and ties, pencil skirts and blazers.

Of course, Saylor was also dressed presentably, but the big difference between her and her new colleagues was the dip dyed shoulder length emerald hair she sported, the numerous piercings in her ears - which were mainly covered by her hair - and a small green ring through her nostril.

She was grateful her sleeve tattoo in progress was covered under her blazer or she would have felt even more uneasy than she already did. Her only body art on show was five thin lines encircling four of her fingers. They were dainty and usually most people didn’t even notice them unless they were in close proximity to her. Even so, she loosely clasped her hands into fists in case anyone decided to peer too closely.

Still, alternative styles evidently were not a popular sight in the The Crown office, because as Saylor walked down the aisles of cubicles, eyes zoned in on her. She tried to remind herself that this was not the first time she’d faced stares over her appearance and that it no way detracted from her professionalism or ability to do her job. That’s all that mattered, and she would remind them all of that in due course.

Arriving at a standard looking office that overlooked the city, she met DI Natalie Chandler who went over all the necessary debriefing and documentation with her. The woman’s kind nature lifted some of the nerves rattling through her and she hoped she would get to work with Ms Chandler in the future.

Natalie then led her over to the middle of the bustling office to a set of desks where two men had their backs to her.

“Guys! This is our new tech master, Saylor Clarke.”

Both of them swung around in their chairs, the older gentleman who sat to the right and she shared a warm smile with him, but what caught Saylor’s was the young man on the left. “I’d like you to meet DS Ronnie Brooks and DS Matthew Devlin.” She smiled, meeting both their gazes in greeting.

“She’ll be taking over from Angela from today.” Before Natalie walked away she gave both of them a pointed stare. “Be nice! Look after her.”

“We’re always nice!” Matt called after her playfully then turned on Saylor and she forgot her own name for a breath. “Hey, Mathew Devlin but you can call me Matt.” He held out his hand for her to shake. Worried her hand would be sweaty due to the first day nerves and her body’s response to meeting someone as striking as Matt before, Saylor hesitated, but suddenly she realised how rude that would look and slipped her hand into his. It enveloped hers and she hoped he didn’t hear the way her breathing jittered at the contact and noticed the electricity that skated up her skin leaving goosebumps in its wake, and she truly hoped he didn’t feel the slight moist covering on her hand. If he clocked onto anything at all, he never let it show as he gave her a friendly grin and returned to his desk.

With ocean eyes that shamed the carribean shores, sunkissed skin that enhanced every muscular valley in his bare forearms and bone structure that rivaled the godly marbled statues she’d seen at the A&E, it was fair to say Matt might have been the most mesmerizing man she’d ever laid her eyes upon.

One word came to her mind. Shit.

How was she going to stop herself from crushing on Mr Devlin?

“Ronnie Brooks,” The older man stated, waving a hand. “don’t worry you’ll settle in right away. If you need anything though don’t be afraid to ask us. Me and Matty will be happy to help.” They both offered her bright and reassuring smiles and she felt instantly welcome in their company.

“Thank you, guys. It’s nice to meet you both. I guess I better go log into my computer, and get it all set up.” Ronnie pointed out her desk which was a little way across the room from theirs, she thanked him and made her way over, cursing herself on the way for being so awkward.

Her first day seemed to flash by, and before she knew it, it was dark outside and people started leaving the office in drips and drabs. Nothing too exciting had happened through the duration of the day. It wasn’t as though she had expected to be thrown straight into the middle of the chaos on day one, but admittedly, lack of productivity had her itching in her seat.

However, her day was pleasant nonetheless; she had managed to set up her computer almost exactly the way she liked it, she’d gone and spoke to some of her other new colleagues around the office to get to know who she would be working with and had been pleasantly surprised at the warmth she was met with. She shouldn’t have assumed they would judge her based on her looks, she needed to squash that insecurity.

But mostly, she had chatted with Matt and Ronnie. Apparently, not much was happening in the way of cases, so they had time to tell her about some of their most interesting cases and how tech had helped them catch their criminal in the end. She looked forward to being able to be a part of that team and process in the future.

Both men were incredibly charming and sweet. She counted herself lucky that she’d been put in an office with such lovely company. Ronnie was instantly like a father figure to her, he seemed gentle and caring and she was in no doubt that he’d be the first to her aid if she needed it. Matt on the other hand spoke to her in a more flirtatious manner, which of course she could never honestly say she minded. It was actually an honour to have such a beautiful man trade playful banter with her, but she had to remind herself that this was her work place now and no matter how she may want to, nothing past friendship was to be permitted between the two of them.

There was only one person she met in that office that first day that made her uncomfortable; Mike had walked up to her desk, and she could tell right off the bat that this man was typically shy. Knowing this feeling all too well she greeted him warmly, but as soon as he started speaking she got an unsettling feeling from the interaction. She couldn’t, however, put her finger on what exactly it was that was making her so uneasy about the man who had only said one word to her.

After the single interaction though, she didn’t see him for the rest of the day so she brushed it off and buried herself in customising her systems to her personal preference.

At the end of the day, she was at her desk switching everything off when she felt someone approach her from behind. She sent a silent prayer that whoever it was, it wasn’t Mike. Regardless, of the lack of action she’d seen through the day, she still felt drained from all the information she’d had to retain and had no energy left to try to understand him.

“How are you getting home?”

Turning, a jolt of excitement spiked through her fatigue when she saw Matt standing a few feet from her wrapping his scarf around his neck. “Not to sound creepy or anything, I just thought It would be decent of me to offer you a lift seen as it’s pitch black outside and you said earlier that you live on the other side of London.”

She smiled not only at how genuinely adorable this man was with his slight pout, but also at the fact he remembered when she’d idly said where she lived. Then she quickly reminded herself not to overthink his basic capacity to listen to information. She couldn’t let her head run amok. “Thank you Matt, that’s really nice that you thought of me. But I have my bike.”

“Bike? As in a peddle bike? I mean I could probably fit it in the back of my car. London traffic in the dark isn’t the nicest to people on bikes.”

“Erm, no, my motorbike.” Matt looked taken aback at this. Saylor simply laughed at his surprised expression.

They both started for the door. “Okay this I have to see!” She looked at him confused but she couldn’t hide the amusement on her face. “Oh no I didn’t mean you riding a motorbike I meant the actual bike.”

“Sure! You can come meet Alvin.”

Matt stopped in his tracks in the middle of the foyer, Saylor stopping a step in front of him, eyebrows raised. “What?”

“You named your bike after a chipmunk?”

She burst out laughing at the remark, envisioning the small rodent in question. “No.” she shook her head. “I named my bike after the Glam Rock star Alvin Stardust, a childhood favourite.” Sniggering to herself as she walked out of the revolving doors.

Matt was close on her heels as she walked to where her bike was parked on the side of the street. Stopping in front of it, she reached inside of her jacket to grab the key for the little storage box on the back of the bike.

“Matt meet Alvin, Alvin meet Matt.”

“Wow, such a beautiful bike.” Matt slowly walked around observing every detail of the vehicle.

“Thanks. I try to keep him in tip top shape.” Matt paused again looking over the bike to Saylor who had finally freed her helmet from the box.

“You do maintenance on the bike yourself?”

She looked up to find Matt staring at her in something akin to awe. “Yeah, I won't let anyone else touch him.”

She got up on the bike and started up the engine. Itroared to life.

Putting on the helmet, she turned to Matt one last time. “If you’re lucky one day I might let you ride him, I’ll see you tomorrow.” She winked at him, closed the visor and as Matt walked back to the pavement, he watched as she safely pulled out and sped off.

The last look on his face said it all; maybe she wasn’t the only one that was going to struggle toeing the line between friendship and something more.

...............

The next morning was uneventful, but Saylor didn’t mind too much. It gave her additional time to settle in and socialise some more. Which included Matt.

When she got home the previous night she couldn’t shake the smile from her face. Her interactions with him the previous day had left her feeling like a campfire had ignited in her stomach and set a flock of butterflies into a frenzy above.

“Hey, a few of us are heading out for something to eat tonight if you would care to join us?” She turned in her chair to find Matt and Ronnie stood behind her with hopeful smiles on their faces.

“Sure, why not.” She leaned back in her chair and grinned at them both.

“I hope I’m invited too.”

As if out of nowhere, Mike appeared beside Saylor, that uneasy feeling came back to her. She shifted in her chair then glanced at Matt who seemed to sense her unease. He moved to perch himself on the corner of Saylor’s desk, putting himself between them. She looked up at him and gave him a silent ‘Thank you!’

“Sure. Everyone's invited.” Ronnie chimed in.

Saylor and Matt both snapped their heads to Ronnie. Obviously, he hadn’t read the room, but it was too late. Mike said he would meet them at the pizza place later and had walked off.

Unable to pinpoint exactly what it was about Mike that gave her the creeps, she felt a little bad, but every time he was near her, the hair on the back of her neck would stand up and she had the greatest desire to be as far away from him as possible.

“Jeez, Ronnie, why’d you invite him? Can’t you see that he makes Saylor uncomfortable?”

Ronnie looked at Saylor, confused.

“Does he make you uncomfortable? I can go over and uninvite him?” Ronnie started walking to Mike's desk but Saylor reached out an arm and stopped him.

“No, no. It’s okay. I’m probably just overreacting, he’s probably a really nice person, I have to give him a chance. Besides this is only my second day, he barely said two words to me. Can’t be making enemies straightaway, can I?” She smiled at them both, trying to be as lighthearted as she could. Ronnie said a simple okay as he walked back to his desk.

“Did you bring the bike today?” Matt said still perched on her desk, she swung back round to face her computer.

“I got a cab today actually, I never ride when it’s raining.” She chuckled to herself. “One of my mum's rules, actually. I understand though. Plus, I’d rather not turn up to work drenched.”

“So, you’ll be getting a cab home?”

She just nodded as she typed away on the keypad. If someone would have asked her what she was working on she wouldn’t have been able to answer. It was hard to concentrate when she had such a handsome man distracting her.

“Or I could give you a lift after the pizza place, I mean I’m the designated driver so....”

She stopped typing and looked up, catching his eye. “Sure, I guess it saves me some money. Unless you want gas money which I will happily provide.”

“Don’t worry about it. Just buy me a coke at the pub.” He snapped his finger and pointed at her with a wide grin.

“You got it.” She tilted her head as she looked at him, matching his grin.

“Great, I guess I’ll meet you back here when it’s time to leave.” Nodding again, she watched as he got up from the desk and walked away with the biggest smile on his lips.

Sighing, she knew she’d spend the rest of the day trying not to overanalyse said smile and tame the butterflies wreaking havoc inside her.

By the end of her second morning she’d already made some amazing friends. She just hoped that it would stay like that, that she wouldn’t ruin this job for herself like she did the last one.

No way would she let that happen again.

Time ticked by ever so slowly. Every time she looked at the clock, only mere minutes had passed. Now and then, she’d peer over to Matt’s desk. Most of the time he’d have his back to her, but sometimes he’d be talking to Ronnie and would catch her eye, a dazzling smile appearing on his face.

She didn’t have the adequate vocabulary to describe how adorable Matt Devlin truly was.

After her lunch, she’d been given some work to do which she became immersed in, completely forgetting about the time and what was happening around her. She only became aware of her surroundings again when Ronnie placed a warm hand on her shoulder.

“You ready?”

She looked up to him smiling down at her, she saved her work and switched off the computer. “More than ready.” Grabbing her bag and jacket, she met Ronnie by the door.

“Matt just had to go drop off some paperwork, he said he’d meet us by the car.” Nodding, she followed Ronnie out to the back parking lot.

Less than a minute later, Matt came strolling over to them smiling, swinging his keys around his finger.

Ronnie let Saylor ride shotgun, even though she insisted she would be fine in the back seat. “It’s the most gentlemanly thing to do.” He smiled as he got into the back. She looked at Matt over the roof of the car rolling her eyes but got in the font anyway.

When they reached the little pizza place, they found a booth near the back and settled in. Once Matt had taken his coat and scarf off, he got the drink orders and went to the bar.

Ronnie and Saylor were having a full blown conversation when the bell above the door chimed, indicating that someone had entered the restaurant.

Both looking up at the noise, they could see four people entering and looking around. Saylor only recognised one of the people. Mike.

“Oh god.”

She shook her head and looked to Ronnie.

“What is it?” She enquired.

“That women behind Mike, she’s from the evidence team. Completely obsessed with Matt, finds any excuse to come up to the office to see him.” He sniggered, evidently amused.

“Honestly, can’t say I blame her.” Saylor laughed at the surprise on Ronnie’s face.

“I’ll remember that remark!” He jokingly threatened her, but before Saylor could reply, the group had reached their table, and the women who Ronnie had pointed out sat down next to Saylor.

“I’ll go help Matt with the drinks now we have more people.” Ronnie got up and headed to where Matt still stood at the bar.

Saylor just stared after him in complete disbelief that he had left her with a bunch of strangers.

Not even a second after Ronnie had left his seat, Mike slid in the booth next to her. She tried her damn hardest not to shift away from him when he shuffled in closer to her.

Finally, the two men came back from the bar, hands full of drinks and distributed them out to everyone. She caught Matt's eye when he handed her, her drink then his eyes shifted to both sides of her. His eyes showed concern but he mouthed a ‘sorry’ to her. Replying with a gentle smile, she let him know she was okay. For now.

“Hey, I don’t think I’ve seen you around before. My name is Alice! and this is Chase, we work in the evidence lab.” Alice held out her hand which Saylor shook, then proceeded to shake Chase’s hand as well, of which he held onto her hand a second longer but then just smiled at her and sat back into the booth.

“Saylor, I’m the new tech wiz in the office.” She changed her attention back to Alice who was now sizing her up.

“Oh, lucky you. You get to be in the office all the time and be around Matt.” Saylor looked to Matt who was conversing with Ronnie and tried to think innocent and professional thoughts.

“He’s an amazing person. I mean I’ve only known him for two days and he’s been nothing but kind to me.”

“He’s more than amazing. Have you seen him? He’s so yummy. If only he could see how amazing I am, I’d take him straight home and do nasty things with him.” Saylor was taken aback by the way Alice was talking about one of her coworkers.

All she could do was laugh uncomfortably and turn away hoping to end the conversation but she forgot that the person on the other side of her was Mike. She was trapped.

“Don’t take no notice of her, she has no filter and has been completely obsessed over Matt for years.” Chase reached over and moved Alice out of his way so he could sit next to Saylor. “I’ve heard way worse come from her mouth about that man.” Saylor gave the man a ‘oh god’ look but smiled at him anyway, glad that finally she was sitting next to someone she could converse with normally.

The rest of the meal was relatively normal. Although she missed the time with Ronnie and Matt, she found that Chase was also someone she could see herself calling a friend in the future. He’d also saved her when Mike shifted unbearably close to her so again, but then Chase switched seats meaning she was back next to Alice, and she’d take that over sitting next to Mike any day.

When they were getting ready to leave, Chase also offered her a lift home but she had to decline, looking up to see Matt waiting for her by the door, his sparkling eyes dancing in the candlelight. “Thank you, that’s really kind, but Matt already promised me a lift home. Thank you for saving me tonight, twice!” She laughed.

“No problem. Anytime.” Then he did something unexpected. He grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. She didn’t know how to react so she just smiled and waved her goodbyes.

“You ready?” Matt smiled at her, opening the door.

“Yes.” She walked out into the rain, Ronnie trailing behind her and the three made their way to the car parked just outside.

They dropped Ronnie off first and bid their goodnights to him, and then for the first time that night, it was just the two of them.

Saylor gave him the directions to her flat before any conversations started.

“Seems you have many admirers already!”

Saylor chuckled and turned to look at Matt, the streetlights highlighting his sharp features as they drove. “That's funny because I hear you have admirers too!”

“Urg, if you’re talking about Alice, I don’t want to hear about it. She’s a nice person and I respect her but agreeing to go on a date with her was one of the worst decisions I've ever made.” He glanced at Saylor in the passenger seat to see her beaming at him.

“You went on a date with her? I bet that was eventful!.”

“Oh! it was, but I’m not going to give you the satisfaction of hearing about it.” Saylor huffed out a ‘spoil sport’ and went back to facing the front of the car.

“Did you enjoy tonight?”

“I did, everyone’s so nice. Shame I didn’t get to speak to you and Ronnie much. I was kind of trapped between Alice and Mike, who, for some reason I can’t put my finger on why, but he gives me the creeps.” She shivered in her seat.

“Yeah, I could see how uncomfortable you were with him earlier.”

“Luckily Chase was there to put a barrier between us.” She didn’t look but she could tell he was glancing at her.

“Ah Chase! think he has a thing for you.” They both looked at each other when Saylor laughed out loud.

“Yeah well nothing will come of it. For one, he’s a nice guy, but I don’t feel any attraction towards him. And secondly, I promised myself long ago not to date coworkers.” Matt's face fell, and for a moment she thought she saw disappointment in his eyes, but it was only a flash.

She couldn’t say anymore though as he pulled up to her apartment.

Looking up at her door, she sighed. She’d told Matt that about coworker relationships, but every time they were close, all she wanted to do was be in his arms and just feel his arms wrapped around her.

She opened the door but turned back to Matt. “Thank you for being so kind to me in my first few days and for dropping me off home.”

He smiled in reply and she wondered if she’d ever get tired of that smile. She doubted it.

Without time to think it through, she reached over the centre console and kissed him on the cheek. Once she realised what she had done, she moved back a bit to read his reaction, but all she saw was shock and happiness all mixed together, and gods, she really wanted to kiss him. She could see he wanted the same as his eyes travelled down to her lips.

But she couldn’t let it happen.

So, she pulled back further and finally got out of the car.

“Goodnight Matt.”

#matt devlin #law and order uk #matt devlin x oc #matt devlin x reader #matt devlin fanfic #matt devlin story #law and order: Uk #jamie bamber

12 notes · View notes