#(In reality I REALLY wanted to post these at some point because I'm honestly amazed at some of these outfits)

[ccl-c]

i procrastinated on this for months and it didn't even take that long to finish lol things got very bad at work this year and i just didn't have the energy but i'm really happy with how it turned out!

(edit: thank you so much to everyone enjoying this piece! i'm so happy there are more people thinking about his prosthetic leg.)

some of my favourite details and long self-indulgent ramble below the cut.

as much as i love the unicorn leg in the show i really wish they gave izzy an actual post-amputation swordfight scene, which probably would imply a more practical prosthesis because honestly that candle scene looks very painful and pretty difficult to adapt in combat. so basically i wanted him to have a prosthesis that could work.

for the poses i mostly just took basic right-handed cavalry sabre movements that would need lots of force and/or mobility from the left leg (actually all of them do otherwise he'd lose stability which is a big no but well i did not consider the basic steps nor special ones such as the palestra because they're not very clear to draw. i included a flèche though because i just really, really want to see him do flèches (no more modern rules aha!!); i doubt he'd like it since it's very risky but it would be so fucking awesome. imagine him just darting full-speed at the opponent and passing through them sliding the sabre right between their ribs. the sabre isn't a pointy weapon especially since his is quite curved which makes piercing trickier than slashing (it would be a lot easier with a rapier or an épée; i like to imagine that stede prefers the rapier and makes every opponent who believes rapiers aren't fit for combat reconsider it) but hell that would just look amazing. although looking at it again i probably drew the footwork more like a pass forward …). now thinking about it i should have included a salute because he'd absolutely do that and make everyone do it in unison at the start of training sessions and it's just a cool series of gestures (i haven't gone through the historical documents yet but the salute our historical fencing club do consists of two appels (striking the ground with the forward foot which in izzy's case is the right foot), then raising the sword to the sky, then pulling the guard of the sword near the jaw with the tip pointing upwards, then pointing the sword down forward, usually a bit to the exterior for single-handed swords. this is the short version; we did the complete version of that salute precisely once and i seriously cannot remember either the year it was formalised or how it was done exactly. i think it was somewhere near the end of the 18th century and there was half a step forward and maybe a step on the spot at the beginning. if i ever find it or we ever do it again i'll update here). also i feel like the dagger doesn't really look right ever since i saw the daggers and little swords at the exhibition about knights in nantes … anyway.

the prosthesis is loosely based on those 16th-century moveable leg prostheses by ambroise paré (on a side note, he made hand prostheses too and i think they're good references for spanish jackie's hand), douglas bly's above-knee prosthesis in the 19th century and modern running prosthetic legs (for the need of explosive force typical in lunges) as well as historical fencing and buhurt (full-armour medieval combat) gears. although i'm horrible at physics and have forgotten what little ergonomics i learned at university so it probably won't work in reality lol.

the text is in french simply because i learned fencing in french and didn't want to make mistakes in the vocabulary. the small words from left to right top to bottom are: motion (movement?), knee (front), knee (back), ankle & foot, locked, flèche (as in fencing; the word itself means “arrow”), unlocked (middle french spelling because i like it and it's not completely anachronistic i guess), lunge, en garde position in tierce (i somehow can't find any fixed way to say this in english; it's just the basic stance with the third hand position). the text on the left is probably quite awkward honestly but i can't not put it there because it's fun lol it reads “leg and foot prosthesis designed for first mate hands, by doctor roach with the assistance of frenchie, realised (built? made? constructed? manufactured?) by black pete and wee john feeney and the entirety of the crew of the revenge under co-captains stede bonnet and edward teach, illustrated by lucius spriggs”. so yes any mistake in there is theirs and not mine lmao (no). the font is very loosely based on my memory of jean jannon's regular and italic typefaces. i adore his italics; it's the prettiest, most delicate italics i've ever seen.

i still have other drawing ideas for ofmd but i'm also into a lot of other things now … i'll probably get to them a few months later.

[cloverapple]

hiii! i came across your blog yesterday, and i love your advice. that's why i feel like you would be the best person to ask these questions that I've been having for the longest time (sorry, long read ahead).

I've studied LOA for the past 2 years or so, and even though i have a good understanding of it, there are some things that always trip me up when it comes to shifting.

how do i deal with waking up to the 3d? yes, by assuming that you are in your dr and that you shifted last night. that's the most logical answer. but even though i know that, sometimes it is a lot easier said than done. for example, a few days ago i wanted to manifest shifting by simply deciding i could shift on command and that i am there. i could be 100% sure the day before that it would happen. the whole day, and even a few days after that I'd stay in that state of being a master shifter, and i would feel amazing because of it. but it's like there always comes a point where i wake up to the 3d and i get discouraged (yes, i acknowledge that i am manifesting that reality by saying this, but i finally have to get this off my chest). my thoughts get all messed up and i start spiraling, returning to my previous state. i start questioning myself a bit and feel down. the main reason for that being time.

it took me so so long to figure out this issue about myself. I'd be like: how long is it gonna take? when will it happen? i know i have it in the 4d but when will it appear in the 3d? having it in the 4d isn't enough, i need to have it in the 3d right now. stuff like that. i find it very difficult to formulate my thoughts, but basically I'm in a spiral of:

watching a video/reading a post about LOA/shifting that reminds me of how easy it is -> applying LOA to shifting/any desire in a way that feels good for a few days at most -> starting to question myself after a few days because it hasn't shown up yet in the 3d (which is caused by me forgetting the role the 3d plays and how LOA works) even though i did everything "right" (e.g. letting go of control or the outcome, deciding, not wavering, etc.) -> falling back into a state where i question how i can shift, what i am doing wrong, etc. -> repeat

how can i break out of this cycle?

i think the main problem here is time and in general the 3d.

i know that the 3d is not a measure of my success, only made up of my current assumptions etc. i know that. but it's like i forget it once i step into the state i wanna be in and stay there for an extended period of time.

i always hear people say that "time isn't real" but i still don't really know what that means, how to apply it or how to internalize it. i really need that mental "click" to finally understand it and use that concept in my favor. because my problem is that with manifesting/shifting, after a while i start asking questions about why it's taking so long the 3d. for example, most nights i fall asleep with the assumption that I'll wake up in my dr (while letting go of control and not wavering) the next morning. but when it doesn't happen eventually, i start to question why, because since time comes from consciousness aka me, it should work in my favor.

I'm honestly so lost right now and i would really appreciate some help because I'm spiraling again. I've known about shifting since 2020 but only realized how ridiculously easy it is after joining tumblr this year and yup, i acknowledge that i am desperate to shift, preferably right now. it's not something i admit to anyone or myself because that's basically continuing to tell a story i don't want to experience (a surefire way to fail), but it is unfortunately the truth as of right now.

thank you for reading, i know this was a lot to get through!! (*^^*)

So pause for a second, because I’m going to tell you something I hope to ingrain in the mind of everyone who sends me an ask—and that you need to remember before reading everything I’m about to say:

YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW TO SHIFT. The ability is inside you right now. The moment you read this, your mind already knows how to shift. Everyone does.

The moment you accept this, you solve half of your problems.

And then you tell me, "But if I know how to shift, why isn’t the 3D reflecting that?"

Well, yeah. You painted the house, and now you’re sitting there watching the paint dry.

Look, watching the 3D closely and looking for results isn’t a problem for some people. Some can assume, “I’m already in my DR,” open their eyes, and BAM—they’re in their DR.

Some people assume, “I will shift tonight,” and just like that, they shift that night.

Some people let go of their DRs, stop putting them on a pedestal, and they shift.

Some people clutch their DRs close to their heart until their knuckles turn white—and they shift.

It sounds a lot like you’re forcing yourself into a method of applying the Law of Assumption that doesn’t serve you. Why?? If you recognize that your issue is focusing on time and constantly checking the 3D, work around it. Remove time from your shifting journey.

I don’t like assuming I already have something, then checking the 3D and not seeing it there. Hell, I can shift on command, and yet, if I were to lay in bed right now and tell myself, “I’m in my DR,” I guarantee you I wouldn’t shift. Why? Because that doesn’t work for me.

My dude, change the way you affirm. If affirming in the present (“I already shifted”) doesn’t work for you, change it! Say, “I’m going to shift.” If even that hasn’t been working, let go of implementing time into your affirmations.

Change “I’m going to wake up in my DR in the morning” to “I’m going to wake up in my DR at some point because I KNOW I can shift.”

Change “I’m in my DR right now” to “I can’t wait to be in my DR.”

Remove time from your affirmations and assumptions, because that’s clearly the problem here. Instead of trusting that you’ll shift tonight, trust yourself because you already know how to shift. Or trust your mind because it knows how to shift. Trust your awareness because it knows how to shift.

“I fall asleep with the assumption that I'll wake up in my DR (while letting go of control and not wavering) the next morning.”

If this were completely true, you wouldn’t be sending me this ask. You wouldn’t be doubting yourself as much as you just did in everything you typed. Truly letting go means releasing the need to see results in the 3D.

So, take time out of your assumptions. From now on, say “I will shift.” Or say, “I already know how to shift.”

Your brain then goes: “……???….uh….” looking at the 3D all confused “When? We haven't shifted!”

And you tell it, “It doesn’t fucking matter because I’m going to shift eventually.”

Now, let’s say hypothetically, one week passes and you haven’t shifted. One month passes, and you haven’t shifted. Two months pass, and you haven’t shifted.

And then you come back and say, “Clover, why the heck haven’t I shifted yet? It’s been (insert amount of time). You told me to remove time as an expectation, so why haven’t I shifted yet??”

And I’ll smile at you and ask, “So you’ve been counting the days?”

Let me tell you something about letting go—and hypothetically, ignoring the 3D.

Treat your ability to shift like your fortune. You have a fortune sitting in your bank account right now, and you’re rich. Do you think a rich person checks their bank account every hour to confirm they’re still rich?

"Well yeah, Clover, because a rich person’s reality already reflects that, they’re sitting in a mansion with all their riches."

Your fortune, what makes you rich, is your ability to shift. You already know how to shift. Shifting isn’t something you learn how to do, just like breathing isn’t something you learn how to do. Just like chewing isn’t something you learn how to do. It is an integral part of every human being. If you have awareness, then the ability to shift exists within you.

You don’t learn shifting—you learn yourself.

You learn what makes you shift. What makes you manifest easily. What makes you assume easily. What kind of affirmations your subconscious doesn’t argue against. What makes your self-concept skyrocket.

Because everyone is different, everyone shifts differently. What works for Person A might not work for Person B. What works for Person B might not work for Person C, and so on.

Even my reply to you, it might not resonate with you. But that’s not my fault, and it’s not yours. If that's the case, your job is to look elsewhere—and, in the best-case scenario, look internally because that’s where the answers always are.

Let’s go over your fix options because I just yapped a lot:

YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW TO SHIFT.

Remove time from your affirmations and assumptions. Removing time from your shifting process makes it so you have nowhere in the 3D to look.

Stop paying attention to the 3D and pay attention to yourself because what’s going to shift is your awareness, not the damn 3D. Every time you catch yourself thinking, “Oh, but it’s not showing up in the 3D,” remind yourself:

A) You already know how to shift.

B) Shifting is something you can do.

C) It could happen at any moment, so why should anything else matter?

If you were promised a million bucks from a 100% trustworthy source, would you spiral?

One more thing before I wrap this up:

It could be that actively using the Law of Assumption isn’t what works best for you. Maybe you work better with visualizing. Maybe you induce the feeling of being in your DR or being a "master shifter." Maybe subliminals work better for you. There is a world of options out there, and it is completely useless to force yourself to do something that's only bringing frustration in the end. Because there is no singular way to shift. There is no singular way to manifest. And sometimes—for some people—while the Law of Assumption is always true, focusing on it directly isn’t what serves you.

[mdhwrites]

https://www.tumblr.com/everysongineverykey/709979889023008768/the-owl-house-was-really-like-oh-yeah-by-the-way-a?source=share

Thoughts on this post?

So my immediate thoughts were two things: One was that I always feel awkward responding to other posts because I try not to shit stir most of the time. Two though was that I just agreed with it. The reality of the Hexside kids is purely played for laughs despite being horribly traumatizing on pretty much every level. That's just true.

Then I saw the tag saying it wasn't a criticism.

So was it okay for Hexside to be treated like this? Wartwood had a similar rebellion and it had its own silly things like a themed food Friday and people still being their quirky selves. It works there however because while dealing with what life throws at you is a theme of the work, trauma specifically isn't really. It's there, I've talked about how smart Amphibia is with it to keep its tone consistent but that subtlety also makes it so that not dwelling on it is fine.

If I were to give TOH S3 a theme of some sort... It WOULD be trauma. I don't think it does this theme well, at all, but it is a consistent motif. Hunter's trauma about Belos, Luz's trauma about... Fucking everything if I'm frank but her core trauma is resolved at least once in each episode, technically twice in the finale. They graft on trauma out of nowhere for Willow. She's never dependable Willow, soft spoken and never complaining at all times, but now she is so she has some sort of trauma to deal with while also dealing with Hunter's new trauma of losing Flapjack. One could even argue that Belos has it running throughout because his desperation is potentially fueled by trauma of losing his brother and having his world shatter around him by his brother betraying what ostensibly would have been both of theirs core beliefs. You even have the Collector going through his shit with having been trapped alone for so long.

And then you have Hexside where no one cares about how traumatic all of this has been... Except Boscha. And Boscha is played subtlely, much closer to Amphibia, rather than the capital t TRAUMA that the rest of the cast is going through. As such, most people who watched didn't give a shit and just saw it as a half baked redemption arc rather than continuing a theme because yeah, why would you? What does she even have to say about trauma? That you'll get kicked even harder while you're down and the only option is to move on by yourself and just pretend like it didn't happen?

And that's honestly a problem with the theme in general. So much of the answer to "How do I deal with this," for TOH is to go "I'm awesome and amazing and fuck you for ever thinking otherwise!" It's the conclusion for Hunter's trauma with Belos, we don't get a conclusion with Flapjack really, it's the statement that Luz makes for her character finish of just how much she wants the entire world to recognize she's a bombass nerd -_-, and it's even how the series wraps up with only Luz getting the Titan's power and only her, while she quotes her favorite books, actually attacking Belos. This is your reminder that all the co-op attacks with King and Eda were done far away from Belos, fighting random slime for literally no reason besides the fact that both Luz and the show got lost for about a minute. Willow is the only one where compassion for needing to actually, you know, process your pain and be supported and helped with it might be the answer but again, it's not a core trauma to the character. It's a clumsily grafted on element that also has Willow force Hunter to confront his trauma with Flapjack which IS the answer for him so it's also contradictory. It's not given nearly the same weight as the stuff with Hunter and Belos or ALL OF LUZ where their answers are just 'deal with it'.

(Bonus points to Luz's core problem theoretically being that she was WRONG about Philip and at least two of the endings to that trauma, with her friends and with the Titan, are her being told "You're wrong for worrying," like that would help at all.)

So then you have Hexside where their trauma is ignore and played for laughs so you can just do normal fantasy rebellion stuff mixed with teen rebellion stuff. It's not bad when measured that way but it's contradictory to many of the points that the whole abridged season is trying to make. It's an element that conflicts with your core theme. It's akin to how we're supposed to take Hunter leaving the EC seriously and as this grand pain of his... And then also have people mocking Lilith for it and even having her go "I'm realizing I was bad at my job" back in S2 because fuck her and her trauma I guess.

And don't tell me it's because it's a kid's show. Boscha could have easily been the surrogate for all of Hexside and then you kick out Miki and just have Boscha to deal with. Focus the episode around getting her to open up, be defenseless, maybe almost get turned into a puppet for it as it seems her fears were justified... Before she looks up to find she's behind one of Matt's pillars and everyone is coming out to help protect Boscha. Because the only reason they've gotten through this is together and while they're happy Boscha has actually helped them despite her pain, she shouldn't be dealing with this alone. All of them will do better if they share this pain and so we get them kicking the ass of one of the Collector's hunter stars and the plan be to ride it up to the Archive for the main crew before they get snatched off of it. It has more to say about the complexities of trauma and how you can't just power through it, allows an acknowledgement of what this world has done to these people, all while still allowing the rest of Hexside besides Boscha to be silly and upbeat because they've been doing what they need to handle all of this.

So yeah, I think the blog itself is correct. I think calling itself not criticism though means ignoring what all of these conflicting elements mean for the season overall. Yeah, it's a cute segment as is but when you have a show like TOH that is trying SO HARD to say something... Shouldn't we be critical of when it's failing to do that or even muffling it's own voice?

Because the hex on this side of the Isles could have been used to do something more but instead was treated like a cute charm to fill time. That's not okay. See you next tale.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[robian]

Evangelion Part 2

Alright Part 2 is where I can actually get to writing. I wrote my part 1 blog almost entirely on Shinji so I'll start off by explaining what I meant by his “character development” that I mentioned in my last post.

Those last 2 episodes were probably super confusing. They probably felt like they came out of nowhere. Some people say it's an amazing ending, while others say it's horrible. Honestly, I don't know how I feel about it. I even needed the help of redditors to get a semi-understanding of what it meant without having the movies spoiled for me. Basically these two episodes are all about Shinji's self hatred and at the very end he comes to finally accept himself. Really, it seems to be that simple. Of course, I haven't watched the movies yet, so if there's more to it, that's probably why.

 Honestly, I knew that Shinji hated piloting the Eva, but I feel that we don't get a true understanding of his self-hatred until these last two episodes. You can say this is dumb, because it may seem like the writers just suddenly had Shinji hate himself, but personally I feel that the story had some obvious hints along the way. When people yelled or even hurt Shinji, he never defended himself. He always avoided problems. Someone who hates themselves, doesn't have the power to protect themselves. 

Alright, I should probably talk about some other characters. Rei still confuses me and I'm betting there's more info In the movies because it seems she has some connection to Shinji's mother. Rei's character development is basically her smiling and shedding a tear. She's attempting to find her humanity and sense of self even though she knows she is different from everyone else. 

Asuka says she's piloting the Eva for herself, but in reality she pilots the Eva as a coping mechanism for her mother. Her mother never cared for her, and the chance to become an Eva pilot meant that people would always care for her, unlike her mother. She believes that if she isn't the best, people will stop giving her attention. She believes that she'll lose any value she has. As of the ending of the series, Asuka is still in a depressive state, but I'm assuming she'll get back on her feet in the movies. 

Finally, I'll talk about Misato Katsuragi. At first, she just seems to be this strong, independent, happy, snobbish, beautiful lady. However, we later find out that she's dealing with some serious trauma of her own. Her dad, who she originally hated, sacrificed his life to save her. It left her confused as to whether she hated her dad or not. She unintentionally sought out things that reminded her of him such as her job and her boyfriend to fill the void left in her heart. At the end of the series, it seems to point out that she is scared of being alone. Her dad leaves her. Her boyfriend leaves her. She just wants anyone's attention and even seemingly makes a move on Shinji.  

Hopefully y'all didn't seriously read all 500+ word yapping session, but part 2 was definitely where the phique of the characters was delved into more. As for my opinions on Evangelion (before watching movies), I liked it, but I don't really understand the hype. 

[donnerpartyofone]

Would you consider ever writing for comics Claire? Weird under groundy kind of stuff I mean

Ok first of all you don't gotta say my name, I'm the only person who picks up this line.

Secondly, yaaay this draft finally appeared from out of my overloaded inbox! Who knows if it will save, or post, or continue to exist after this round of editing!

Now onto the actual question: I don't really know. Possibly, but probably not? Like I would certainly write a comic IF I had a good idea, I would write anything that seems like a good idea, but that part that is not under my control, and will almost definitely never happen. I did write (and draw) a comic once, and it was pretty mortifying. Not even my best friends would address it, even after they bought it and asked me to sign it. It was a kindness to me to never, ever mention it. I worked really, really hard on it, but I knew I didn't have it in me and I shouldn't have done it. I feel bad for the guy who put his faith in me and published it.

My relationship to writing is sort of complicated. I do it compulsively, but not necessarily purposefully or well, where "well" = "achieving an intended goal or desire." In the past few years, life offered me an amazing opportunity to give my oppressive job and straight society the finger, and pour everything into my writing, which has always been my "dream" if ever I had one. I had the privilege of collaborating with an established professional, which meant that I had incredible access to a teacher, and to his connections when I was ready to drive my own projects forward. It seemed as if my life had reached one of those mythic turning points that you hear about in the biographies of famous people. The reality is that, despite a decent amount of research and planning and hard work and humility and outside support and unbounded time to do nothing but try to be a writer, I couldn't make anything out of it. I don't have anything to say. I'm not a writer.

I really should have known this because I've never had an original thought. I don't mean that in the abstract philosophical sense of originality being an illusion; I mean even as a kid I didn't have that free-thinking creativity that so many kids have before they get all fucked up by school and society and everything. Whether I was writing or drawing, I was always laboriously imitating some commercial-industrial thing that I saw around me, and it did not turn out that I'm the kind of imitator who can create a viable product out of a formula. You know, I wasn't going to be Franz Kafka and I wasn't going to be Stephen King either. For years I have been kvetching about people I see online who are sort of roleplaying as writers or artists -- that is, they like the idea of being a creator, but they don't seem to have anything really personal that it is urgent for them to do. They just do this kind of lifeless imitating of commercial products and of each other, mainly in search of likes and reblogs, and you can't tell one post or person from another. I always accuse these people of wanting to be a certain kind of person (e.g. a "famous writer" stereotype in their mind), without having the desire to really DO the action that makes that role model what they are. And honestly I still think this is true of a lot of people, but probably I'm so good at recognizing (or thinking that I recognize) this because it actually describes me. I don't have it in me, I don't have the stuff.

One thing that I am sort-of kind-of good at, probably as a consequence of being a compulsive imitator, is manipulating preexisting structures. Like you probably sent me this ask because you read, or read about my novelization of the movie SPLICE. That gig kind of fell into my lap, and then it was just a matter of watching the movie and encrusting it with adjectives. I mean some people liked it, which is nice of them, but it was all just a matter of putting into words what I saw on the screen. Then recently I did a collab with someone who had written some very basic ideas -- like really general story sketches based more or less on existing cliches -- and I picked one and fleshed it out and we both thought it came out way better than it had any business being. But I couldn't have thought of it by myself and whatever success I had is purely due to my brain just being this Rubik's Cube of cliches that I know how to rearrange. You could call that a sort of skill, but it isn't exactly enriching my life. It doesn't improve my self-esteem, or my income.

As both a movies and comics fan, I have tried many, MANY times over the decades to develop stories for both, and they all really sucked. And not in that beginners' way of like, you have to suck before you can rule; my "writing" is just really pretentious and lifeless because ultimately I'm not a writer, and this is a lesson I've had to learn. Now I just spend all day promising God that I will never write another word as long as he lets me have a normal job again so I don't have to feel terrified and guilty all day long, but we're still working on that one.

Of course, even though I am not capable of making anything like art, I do have a philosophy of what art is. I think that any kind of art-making in any medium is good when you are pursuing a question that you have. There is some mystery, some dark feeling that you don't understand or don't know how to translate, some "what happens if I do this," that drives you along a path of discovery. And I think you can tell when a piece of writing, or drawing, or whatever, is only intended to achieve one specific unmysterious concrete goal -- for instance, to be liked by other people, or to be just like some other guy -- and that stuff is always dead on arrival, even if it's pretty, gets you likes and followers, or encourages people to jerk off.

And now, because I've been on Tumblr for too long, I have this brain damage where I'm forced to make a big disclaimer about how these are only my personal views and experiences, and this is only one single solitary blog post that cannot include the whole entire world of usual and unusual advice that would help people develop into artists, and I'm not participating in the whole game of validating or invalidating thousands of random strangers with what is just, like, my opinion, man. I hate that Tumblr has trained me to think of every single form of opposition that any post might receive, because it's not even helping me refine my arguments, it only makes me act defensive and insane on the internet, and it very, very often prevents me from saying things that I might like to try out, because I just know it's going to be a headache if I open my big fat mouth. But anyway that's it, that's all I got.

[mania-sama]

Just want to say thanks so much for that post about you prefer Kevin/Neil over Neil/Andrew. Yes, I thought I was the only one. Agree with your answers about them, also not that I hate on Andrew but I don't see and feel the chemistry between him and Neil. FYI, I have said this to my AFTG moots once before and got blocked (that is why I never said it again until I found your blog).

And as fan of Haikyuu, don't you feel that Kevin/Neil kinda remind you of some other duo? Yes, Kageyama/Hinata. Wait, I know their personality is different but somehow their dynamic is kinda similar, right?

Sorry, if it's kinda random, but I got into AFTG because a friend of mine said, "You love Haikyuu, right? It's like that but with mafia and troubled kids" (worst advice ever, but I grew to love AFTG, too). And somehow, as I read them, I thought Neil will end up with Kevin if it's mlm story, and he end up with Andrew instead?

Oh yeah, can I ask what do you mean with "Andrew is the most unrealistic part of AFTG"?

Sorry for this long ask, thanks if you want to answer....

hey!! thanks so much for sending an ask! it was not too long; i love reading anything and everything people send me!

So sorry that people have blocked you over something as silly as a ship preference! I see where Andreil comes from; it has plenty of amazing and good qualities, and I'm happy with it being endgame! I just know, in my heart of hearts, that Kevneil should've been the one to cross the finish line. But that's just my opinion, and everyone is entitled to believe or think otherwise.

As far as comparing Hinata and Kageyama to Neil and Kevin, I'm of the opinion that their similarities start and end with their appearances. Outside of being singularly obsessed with one sport, I don't necessarily see the relation. Neil and Hinata are gingers and relatively short, and Kageyama is tall with dark hair. Their dynamics, to me, are different as well; Kageyama and Hinata both strive to get better together, but it isn't the trade-off and companionship that Kevin and Neil hold. Kevneil's dynamic is special in that it's very hard to find a reasonable comparison. They just have so much going on at all times. Kagehina, while a respectable pair, aren't as complex. They better each other even while at constant odds, and while you can say that is the relationship between Kevin and Neil, I feel that it is far too simple of an explanation, almost to the point that it's false.

Your friend isn't wrong to make the comparison. I've often thought this myself, honestly. It's got the same sport-focus while also being about mafia and troubled kids. I actually really like Haikyuu and think it's great; All for the Game essentially combines what I like about Haikyuu and everything I look for in Haikyuu fanfiction (that is, a focus on the individual characters and adding in insane trauma and lore for no reason at all). I personally think it's hilarious. It's one of the many reasons I'm very drawn to this series; it's like reading self-service fanfiction. I am a dead dove girlie at heart, what can I say?

... But on the same token, I have to talk about Andrew. While I don't disagree with my statement that Andrew is the most unrealistic part of AFTG (because he most certainly is), I will also say that this doesn't mean I dislike his character or don't find his story compelling. I do. I resonate with a lot of the ways he processes information, and I like how he represents that not everyone deals with trauma in socially acceptable or "presentable" ways. He's different, and that's okay.

However, here is where I come to a roadblock. I love the Dead Dove: Do Not Eat tag. I like to read when characters, in fanfiction, go through traumatic things. It's cathartic; it's a way for me to separate fiction from reality. I can experience these things without having to get emotionally involved. It's a curious phenomenon. But here's the other thing: I think it's something that should stay in fanfiction.

When you bring these serious topics into a published work, you have to treat it with the lens of professionalism. A video I watched semi-recently explains this very well while talking about the book A Little Life. The creator uses the term trauma porn to describe the general interest in visual works (books/tv shows/movies) where characters go through an unsubstantiated amount of trauma for the sake of... trauma. It's not there for any significant reason other than to be written. That's why it's so popular in fanfiction, and why I'm okay with indulging in it in that format. It's not serious. Fanfiction can be serious, but it's not serious in the same way that A Little Life is meant to be serious. A Little Life would be a perfect fanfiction, but as a published book, it is juvenile and worth very little in the world of trauma exploration.

This is how I feel about Andrew, and in some parts, Jean, in All for the Game. Andrew is raped about a gajillion times in this work. And for what? There is very little reason to keep making him endure this insanely traumatic experience, only for him to wind back in the same exact place he was before. It adds nothing to the story or his character. His original backstory works fine in the narrative: he is repeatedly traumatized as a youth, and this fundamentally changes who he becomes. That is fine. But then it happens off-book... again? To serve as a punishment to... Neil? Then he comes back like nothing happened. As if he was raped for nothing. Because, well, he was. Narratively, no repercussions occurred because of this action. Andrew didn't hold it against him. Neil still experienced the Nest regardless if Andrew did or didn't get raped. Then, it happens... again. This time on-book, and while we do get the satisfaction of seeing his original rapist murdered, it still does nothing. This encounter with his old abuser could have been worth a lot if there had been a proper set-up of conflict, but instead, the author chose to write a rape scene. Because that makes sense? Especially when the character bounces right back as if nothing happened. Because again, nothing narratively happened due to this scene. Aaron gets locked away for a while, and that's about it. It isn't even really a big deal, because they end up working through the details off-book. The team isn't severely impeded by this situation. Nothing happens. Do you see why this is a problem? It's very, very frustrating, and it makes a mockery of a very serious trauma. It is, point blank, trauma porn, and it has no right to be in a serious, published work. Even most fanfiction writers that do write trauma porn would've handled this with more grace and elegance than Nora did.

This alone wouldn't have made Andrew fully unrealistic. Now I want to talk about the issue of the drug he takes. He takes this made-up insanity pill that makes him loopy and goofy. Because of course it does. Even though there is no medical standing for a drug like this to even exist, nor would it medically make any sense at all to cause him to act this way. Furthermore, I am of the opinion that he didn't need to take them at all! Everyone in the book hyped up Andrew's natural state to be horrifying and unapproachable, only for the reveal to be... a stoic guy. I think that he was scarier on the drugs. He was honestly relaxed and seemed to be happier off the drugs despite everyone saying that he was crueler. In the narrative, he didn't even change. The drugs served only as an inhibitor to his playing in the first two books, and another way to make Andrew experience more trauma.

In short, Andrew, to me, is very clearly just a way for a female author to torture a gay male character. I said it, and I will not take it back. I wouldn't care if this was a fanfiction (I do it all the goddamn time), but it's not. It's a published book, and therefore must be reviewed with a critical eye. And she does a lot of this stuff again with Jean, only with a bit more care and finesse. Jean is far more believable than Andrew, and he still runs into many of the same problems that Andrew's character writing fatally experiences.

To quote you, sorry for the long response! I just had a lot to say. I love All for the Game. I honestly think it's a good book series that explores avenues of trauma responses with a fairly entertaining plot; no piece of media is perfect, and some of the greatest have serious problems with them that a lot of people choose to ignore. I love All for the Game despite its many flaws, and I am very excited for the next book of The Sunshine Court duology.

[jumpywhumpywriter]

I don’t know how to start messages at all, so I’ll just get to the point: you’re writing is hecking amazing. I literally only just discovered your blog and I’m already hooked and invested in like 5 different stories. As people say, I want to consume your writing the way a wolf tears apart the innards of its prey (hope that’s not too weird of a compliment; I mean that the writing is very good. I’m not good at expressing extreme amazement and stuff through writing at all and general social awkwardness so sorry if I’m coming off as weird, I don’t mean to).

I have more things to say/ask (like how you write so fast cause the heck? That’s a compliment by the way), but I don’t want to be rude or annoying. Anyways, I hope you’re having a good day/night and are staying hydrated and enjoying some cookies (or whatever your favorite food is) while you do writing stuff (or school or whatever. Idk anything about your life. I’ll stop talking now before I go on another tangent like right now) :)

This is literally one of the sweetest compliments I've EVER gotten! I love the analogy with the wolf tearing out the insides of its prey, that gave me a good laugh and made me smile LOL. It's not weird at all! (At least, not in MY world, because 'weird' is my version of 'normal'. You can't out-weird me haha) and I'm super socially awkward too so I totally understand how you feel!

I absolutely adore the fact that you took the time to send this to me! It really helps motivate me to keep writing! I honestly wouldn't post here very often without comments like yours to keep me going.

On to answering your questions now. This is going to be a long one.

Firstly, I have a terrible relationship with sleep. Sleep hates me. So my solution? Stay up to 3am writing giant novels! Some nights the inspiration hits out of nowhere, and I'll write like a crazy person on their 10th cup of coffee, doing five whole pages in Google Docs. Like I don't know what sleep is anymore LOL. Then I break the large chunk of writing I did up into several smaller sections I can put into separate posts on this app that I can post slowly over time to keep people entertained for a longer time instead of posting everything all at once and running out of content.

For example, I might literally have 13 posts in my drafts section ALL from a single batch of writing I did all at once the night before that took me 5 whole hours to write and edit.

In all honestly I am NOT a fast writer at all. I just happen to be able to write giant sections at a time and then split them up so I can post frequently which gives the ILLUSION that I am fast writer because of how often I post content. But in reality it's just been prepared in advance on my sleepless nights where I power through and complete whole pages at a time. (I'm actually a slower snail when it comes to writing because I try to go for quality not quantity -- I take my time to make stories interesting vs just writing as long as I can)

It's convenient too because some days I don't have the inspiration at all/experience writer's block so I can just post content I made over the previous few nights instead to make up for not writing anything new that day.

I also have ADHD which makes it so I can hyperfocus on writing for several hours at a time without a break. Sometimes I'll get really deep into a story where I just can't put down my phone and stop writing to go to sleep.

Thanks again for your WONDERFUL ask! It made my whole day (or night in this case, ironically because that's what it is right now for me as I'm answering this LOL -- proving my point about no sleep 😅😅)

Keep being awesome my new fan!! 🥰 And hope you enjoy more of my stories!

[a-student-out-of-time]

Okay, so, a couple of things.

One: I don't know why people are even making that assumption, because even on DR Survivor, while the anons do have more universal power over reality on my blog, one of the CLEAR CUT RULES of their abilities is that they are NOT ALLOWED TO KILL CHARACTERS. They can maim them, torment them, and put them through as much hell as possible with their abilities, but the characters cannot die unless I make them die.

Two: I know how it feels for people to be more concerned with throwing insults at your characters, and it really sucks when it doesn't give you ample opportunity to move the plot along. But this is why I make story posts and ask posts as two different things on my blog, because ultimately, you can't control what the people say on this blog, or what they want to see happen. Such is the sacrifice for a blog that pertains to an audience, although I'm sure I don't need to tell you that. Just don't be afraid to move the plot along yourself if the askers aren't doing it.

And Three: I genuinely don't know why people are acting pissy about this, because my god, that was an amazing conclusion, and by god, I WISH I had the ethic to stage a scene like that. I mean, I can't speak for everyone, but for me personally, I knew that somehow, this was gonna come back around to Hajime having to be the one to put an end to it, whether he liked it or not. It was so obvious this is where it was going, but it doesn't matter, because it's not the twist itself that made that scene awesome, but the way it was staged and portrayed. This is why you're one of my biggest inspirations for my own blog. Like, genuinely, I could so vividly hear Dorothy Fahn/Komatsu Mikako (Tsumugi) and Johnny Yong Bosch/Takayama Minami (Hajime) voice acting that whole scene, as if it were a showdown from DR canon.

But hey, despite everything, what are you gonna do? Just block out the haters, stick to what you're doing, and make what you envisioned a reality. Stay safe, stay awesome.

//Thanks, everyone <3

//I'm alright, I'm more annoyed than sad that this was the immediate response I got. Plus, it's true, some people really are a lot more quick to judge a story than others, especially when it's a single plot point they don't like.

//Tbh, if there's anyone I relate to in this situation, it's the DRDT Dev. They got so much visceral push-back over the reveals in Chapter 2, apparently to the point that people were raging at them and telling them to their face that they're dropping the fangan just because of who the killer was. Even I got a little preemptive in my judgements and I honestly feel bad about doing that to them, but I withheld my thoughts until the whole thing was out.

//Then the ending proved to be amazing, I'd say miles better than I was initially expecting. It's why I don't judge things that aren't done, because the outcome can really make or break them, especially in retrospect when the creator is either weaving together a solid storyline or they're just spinning their wheels.

//Sometimes things in a story that seem hopeless or pointless turn out not to be, and you can really hurt someone when you decide you understand their incomplete story better than they do.

//But I've developed a thicker skin compared to when I started this blog, so it doesn't bother me. Honestly, I'm really happy to know you all have enjoyed this outcome, especially since we still have so much else to cover now.

//I really do appreciate all your support, it means the world to me ^^

[brw]

can you please elaborate on your hate of Peter Parker ?

Honestly it isn't anything particularly to do with Peter as a character. Clearly, a lot of people love him, and while I've never felt the same way or seen what they seen in him, it's usually whatever. I'm happy to let people do their own thing and to not bother with it, because it isn't for me. The problem then is because Spiderman is a massively important character, so even if I don't care and I want to avoid him, I'm always having to read him at some point. He shows up everywhere. He has 1000 different legacies that if he isn't showing up, one of them is. He is, in effect, the Marvel equivalent of Batman in terms of "This is a Wonder Man comic, why is Spider-Man here?" (that's issue 28 of the 90s ongoing), and I unfortunately am someone who doesn't really like it when I am forced to read a guy I don't really care about. Or, more accurately, I don't mind it sometimes, like if it's a one-off team-up with, making a random pairing here, Vision and Morbius, I'll be fine with that. But Peter shows up everywhere. It's impossible to read marvel comics for very long without him popping in at some point. And I know he's their biggest character, and I understand that he's always going to show up to sell more books, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

Other than that, he has one of the most annoying comic book fanbases out there, possibly even worse than the X-Men, because at least X-Men fans as a whole care or pretend to care about women. They'll talk about Jean or Ororo, and it's often annoying, but at least they care. I'm not going to sit here and say Zeb Wells' Amazing Spider-Man is by any means a masterpiece–but I genuinely believe that if Peter and MJ were dating in this book, everyone would be eating it up and calling it great. Because it is very clear Spider-Man fans don't really see MJ as her own character and don't want her to be with anyone but Peter, which is weird, especially considering how many love interests Peter is afforded but not MJ. I've seen people screenshot panels of just, like... Peter, Paul and MJ just hanging out and being friendly adults, and acting like it's the worst thing in the world, because I guess the idea of being a mature adult with your ex and her new boyfriend is unthinkable. And it stands out that Ultimate Spider-Man is as praised as it is, when like.... other than them telling you she's a marketing genius in that one issue, what does MJ in that universe do outside of being a wife and mother? Other than be supportive to a T? And this is expected, because Hickman can't write women, but it's so strange seeing this series be the crème de la crème of Spider-Man when MJ is so devoid of personality other than being playful and being a wife and mother.

A lot of Spider-Man fans also have this weird persecution complex, which is really weird when a character is as heavily promoted and marketed and has as many series as Peter does. Like, I've seen a lot of people post panels of Ultimate Spider-Man with Peter and MJ and the kids with the caption "THIS is what Zeb/the current Spider-Man office is too SCARED to let happen" and it's like, no actually, the conspiracy that Big Marvel is too scared to let a white man and a white woman have their white ginger kids together is just bizarre. At most, they just think that the relationship in 616 is boring and has run it's course, and you can disagree with that but that's just the reality of comics sometimes. I'm not going to say that there was not editorial influence and a desire to have Peter be young... but that retcon is 17 years old. They are not undoing it! Why do you want 17 years of comics undone just because Peter and MJ aren't fucking? Write some fanfiction if it bothers you that much!!! And that retcon, 17 years ago, would not stop a modern writer from making moves for Peter and MJ to get back together (and they are together in various AU comics over the years)... but clearly at the moment people don't want that, and you have to make peace with that, and you have to make peace that maybe that fictional woman will date someone who isn't Peter for a bit. Sorry he doesn't own her, I guess.

Anyway TLDR Peter Parker is probably a perfectly fine character and I respect all my mutuals and followers who are Normal about him, I just cannot stand the larger comic fandom and I also resent how impossible he is to avoid in comic books.

[catboybiologist]

I would add for the person that asked about the PhD, and I'm being very serious here:

If you are thinking about doing a PhD because you're not certain what you want to do, the job market looks scary, and it seems like a very easy and straightforward next step from your undergraduate degree it's very likely that you're about to have an extremely unpleasant next 5-6 years of your life.

I both agree and disagree. And fuck this turned into a long answer about both the joys and the bullshit that is a PhD.

PhDs can be amazing and enjoyable, but you really have to enjoy them for the research itself. You can't be chasing prestige, you can't be chasing a paycheck.

PhDs are like, the time in your career to fuck around with research. Since the arc of your career isn't set in stone, you can really think about acquiring new skills constantly, doing eclectic side projects, talking with professors outside of your field, and digging into inquiry both in terms of novel research and being fed information that already exists. Many academics say that their PhD was the time in their research career where they felt the most enriched by the sheer freedom and inquiry of it all.

And honestly, I've been feeling that as well. My 1.5 years of my PhD so far have been some of the best times of my life. My research is interesting, I'm learning so many amazing things, I've met so many incredible people, and the sense of community that exists in the academic world for early career people is amazing. I mean this both professionally and socially- without the lgbt grad student group I'm a part of, the decision to start HRT would've been a lot more difficult.'and the sense of community that exists in the academic world for early career people is amazing. I mean this both professionally and socially- without the lgbt grad student group I'm a part of, the decision to start HRT would've been a lot more difficult.

Of course, the make or break point with how enjoyable your research is, is your research advisor/principle investigator. They essentially control what your research is going to be like. I had an incredible undergrad PI, and I also have an incredible PhD PI. But.... my master's PI..... shudder. PI selection could be its own post, but I'm adding this paragraph last, and Y I K E S this is already long.

So you really gotta love it for research's sake, and work with good people. Many people go into a PhD wanting to make some splash on the scientific world or their field. This also means they're more likely to try to chase prestige, and work with big figures in their field even if the lab environment is toxic and unsupportive. The reality is that whether that happens, and when, is a stroke of luck. And also, you'll essentially keep chasing that high forever. I had the good fortune to stumble into a prestigious collaboration during my undergrad that got me a good publication. While I'm still grateful for my luck and proud of it, too many academics base their self worth on that kind of thing- which is a one way ticket to self-abuse and burnout.

And then, of course, there's the money. As I've mentioned in my pin, you're often getting paid minimum wage, or oftentimes, less than minimum wage, in high cost of living areas, when you already have multiple technical degrees. The way they validate varies between universities, but its always backhanded. For me, my yearly income is, on paper, about triple what I actually get paid.

There are two ways this is validated. One, even though you're an employee and oftentimes aren't taking classes, the university still charges you tuition. The IRS at least isn't evil enough to tax you on income you don't take home- your "tuition" is deductible (although the Republican led congress in 2017 tried [and luckily failed] to change this[if I hear one more person claim that Republicans are anti-taxes I'm going to flip my shit]).

The other way is by fucking with your hours. Some universities don't consider any work you do on *your* research project to be "work". Instead, anything reportable as "work" has to be something in service to the university- a familiar way is TAing, but even when you're not TAing, *technically* some universities want you to have several side projects that are completely unrelated to your thesis. Which is basically impossible. So, oftentimes, you're on a contract that considers you a part-time employee, when you're actually working more than 40 or 50 hours a week.

This is bullshit also because the line where one project begins and another ends is so fuzzy that it doesn't exist. I have two major overarching things I work in, that are pretty cleanly delineated bc they're in two different model organisms, but even then there's so much crossover that it's hard to tell what's going to make it into my actual thesis by the end. Also, your thesis makes money for the university. The grant money that your thesis will generate, partially goes to the university itself, through various mechanisms including overhead charges on funding and/or charging "rent" on professors that maintain labs.

Of course, both of these are fucking bullshit and only exist so that universities can exploit tax loopholes, that I can't claim to understand. A lot of recent union negotiations in my University system are changing some of this (kinda doxxing myself but there's a shitton of campuses and its one of the largest uni systems in the US and y'all already knew what state I was in so *shrug*) and while I support them, I don't claim to understand a lot of the new agreements. I really, really don't have a brain for paperwork and bureaucracy, but there's a lot of helpful union reps and advisors whose help I lean on heavily.

Again. I don't understand a lot of this. I have 0 brain for this. I have severe ADHD. I let things happen and ask my peers for help on this a lot. This could be different at other unis, or I could just be flat out wrong about the stuff I'm experiencing.

I'm gonna be honest... I've also just been working on post burnout fumes since my master's and I'm just in a lab environment that's been patient with me on that. I do enjoy what I do though, but I'm certainly taking things much slower and more relaxed than a lot of my peers. Oftentimes, this is punished, but hey. I already have an MS, and I'm having fun so far, so we'll just see how far this takes me.

But yeah. tl;dr PhDs are an amazing, beautiful, and wonderful thing where the true heart of science really lets you cut loose and do exciting things. But you have to love it a lot, because my fucking god the practical reality of it is that you're being deliberately fucked over at every step of the way.

And don't even get me started about master's degrees. Holy fuck that shit is rough.

[araneitela]

So, on the topic of female muses. Right, I’ve changed my mind, I want to separate these two topics as this one is really on the forefront of my mind. Man, not once have I ever thought that I'd write a post in which I would genuinely ever use 'as a woman' as part of enforcing my argument, but here I am: May 2nd of 2024 marks the day.

So, here's the band-aid that I'm ripping off: if you follow me for the sole purpose of showing support because I write a female character: don't. As a woman, I actively don't want that mindset anywhere remotely near me. I don't want that kind of support from you, I don't want that kind of pity from anyone, I don't want the 'sisterhood' to rally around me, I don't want 'our girls can be besties' on the simple and mere premise that they're both women. Get out of here, I don't want anything to do with it. If you follow me, I want it to be because I've piqued your curiosity with my analyses, and that I've earned your interest (yes, just like you earn everything in life, including someone's attention and respect), and that I've made you want to approach and interact with me because the character that I write appeals to you on the premise of being a good presentation of a character, regardless of whether she's a woman or not. Do not think for even a moment, that you are under any obligation of interacting with me because I write a female character, because you're not. And honestly, on top of that, I don't deserve any sort of special recognition for writing a woman, I don't face any kind of daily struggles in life for writing a woman on Tumblr.com; I do not and have never felt 'lesser' or 'prejudiced against' for writing a woman throughout all of my years of writing them off and on across so many different fandoms, both canonical and original alike.

I genuinely hate reading so many posts that tell me to 'hang in there', and to 'stay strong, girlfriend' as if I'm fighting some war: I'm not. I don't want to be associated with this kind of mindset and/or behavior, I rebel against it and would shout it from the highest rooftops if my lungs permitted me to do so. I do not write a woman because I want to 'represent women', I do not write a woman because I'm 'fighting against discrimination', I do not write a woman to get respect from other women, I do not write a woman because I love women more than anything else in this world, I do not write a woman to help carry any sort of torch for my sex, and I certainly don't write a woman to say 'fuck you' to men. Honestly, and I say this as a woman: it would be pretty devastating to know that you, a (most likely) fellow woman on this platform, would reduce a female writer to wanting to write a female character for those reasons, and nothing else. My rage then, would be aimed in one direction, and one direction alone. And quite honestly, it's already there; my respect is more than halfway out the door.

I write the female characters that I do, because they're amazing characters that happen to be women, and I've written amazing characters that happened to be men. And guess what, many of those amazing female characters that so many of us love so desperately? Have been written by men, just like women, too, have written incredible male characters. I wish that were a reality that many of you could look at and realize, instead of pointing fingers at 'cishet men', as if they are the huge majority within this RPC.

Any way, I'm getting a little off-topic so let me get back to my point, because I sure as hell want to be sure that it's read, understood and that it's taken at face value: every single follower is appreciated more than they realize. However, be here because you appreciate what I do because I do it well, that I've earned your attention and am deserving of it, and not because I'm a woman or because I write one, because that would be one hell of a disappointment (and quite frankly: an insult) to come to terms with.

[miximagic256]

Points of Interest 4

Hi friends! This POI has been overdue for months I'm so sorry! One thing you may have noticed is there's a number attached to the title now. This titling scheme will follow for every POI post from here on out because it's honestly way more convenient especially with how some months there's little I want to type about while other months have lots I want to type about (although if you're really curious what's below occurred from January - February, I wasn't kidding when I said this was well overdue!)

But enough of the foreword, let's get into it!

Portal 2

So interesting thing, I got Portal 2 around 2013 when I first got my PS3, I never played the first Portal game as I didn’t have Steam and I never played The Orange Box which is where Portal debuted in 2007. Portal 2 was a game I played because I remember at the time hearing about how good the game was and while I did play it I never actually finished it.

Late last year I remembered I never finished the game so I started again from the beginning and finally beat it in January, and I can safely say that over a decade after the game’s release that Portal 2 is a fantastic experience from beginning to end and deserves all the praise people give it.

There is so much I could gush about with the characters, worldbuilding, storytelling, etc. But as a first for this series of mine I won’t go into detail because Portal 2 is one of those games that’s best to be played with as little knowledge as possible (in my case there were some things I knew about prior unfortunately, but luckily a lot of what I experienced was new to me).

One thing I will do though is share a link to this playlist of Portal 2 animations by Harry101UK which look, sound and feel so close to the game that you'd be amazed Valve had nothing to do with them! In particular I absolutely love his remake of his first ever Portal animation based on the song This Is Halloween from The Nightmare Before Christmas, you have no idea how many times I've listened to it! (Don't worry there's no spoilers for the game so if you've not played it you can still watch his videos without worry of that)

If you’re like me and have never played Portal 2 after all this time I highly recommend you do so if you get the chance (in fact you can even skip the first Portal game since outside of some backstory it doesn’t affect the sequel much), you won’t regret it!

The Repair That Never Was

I realise that with all the talk I’ve done about appliances and fixing things that it may give the impression that this is something I normally do, but in reality this is very rare and it’s a big coincidence that two appliance fiascos happened close together (although pre-teen me would have been ecstatic at the knowledge they’d eventually get to do something they always wanted - fixing a broken appliance).

So context, back in 2016 we brought a second-hand tumble dryer, it worked fine but some years ago I started to suspect that something was off because there would be rumbling noises every so often (bear in mind the type of noise a dryer can make can point to different types of faults like bad roller bearings, bad rear bearings, etc.) So after trying to figure out what type of noise it was I thought it was a result of a bad dryer fan (which is what takes the air from the drum through the vent and out the back) As sometimes they can “warp” due to the heat and not spin evenly causing it to be noisy when in use.

I was so confident that this was the issue I brought the part for it in advance for the time where there would be a good opportunity to open the machine up (although buying the part online was tricky as the dryer was made in the late 90s and sometimes machines that old can be hard to find parts for). Cut to January where one day it’s drying as normal only for me to notice that at some point the machine was running but the drum wasn’t turning, which suggested one thing, the belt had snapped (what sits around the motor that causes the drum to turn).

Now that the dryer was broken I took the opportunity I had been waiting for and opened it up, but I discovered that the rumbling noise wasn’t actually caused by a warped dryer fan at all but rather a loose jockey wheel (the part that’s on the end of the motor which the belt fits on) what a plot twist! Honestly considering it was loose for goodness knows how long it’s no wonder that eventually caused the belt to snap, not only that but I have an unopened dryer fan part on my desk I can't do anything with so it makes some pretty unconventional decoration hehe.

Because of this and the fact it was deemed easier to just get a new dryer, the old one was sent to its final resting place in the scrapyard (which considering it was at least 25 years old, I’d say it did its job well). But it doesn’t end there. I felt the best thing to do was to buy a washer dryer (because it would be more convenient for my small kitchen) which meant it would also replace our washing machine at the same time which I wrote about replacing the door seal a year ago, so despite me doing that repair it ended up being too little too late ironically.

One final thing to note: The washer dryer bought was the same manufacture as the one before our machine which I repaired, of which the former machine lasted 13-14 years. No Pressure!

Video Game Museum Trip Feat. @Klonoamiyumi

Video game museums are somewhat uncommon throughout the world but in recent times more and more have been opening up, and a year or two ago I discovered one myself but it was a far away from where I’m located so I never visited it. As my birthday was approaching and there was a holiday I was going to go on soon I decided just before that would happen that I would finally visit the museum alongside two IRL friends (including @klonoamiyumi!).

Due to the distance I decided for us to get there by train which was honestly nerve wracking as I normally don’t take the train (not only that but add on to the fact I was taking the train while organising the trip in the first place), but outside of one slip up (which I’ll get into later) we all got our tickets and away we went!

On the train itself we sat together and talked about our video game history along with some general topics as well, bear in mind the three of us up to this point hadn’t met up much together so it was an interesting experience being able to talk among ourselves. After around an hour on the train we arrived at our destination and stepped out, I had researched directions on where to go to the museum beforehand however actually exploring around the city was tricky because I had never been to that location before, luckily I was able to rely on Google Maps to figure out where to go and after accidentally going in a circle (oops!) We did eventually find the building we were looking for: The National Video Game Museum!

For most of the year this specific museum is only open Thursday – Sunday except for the UK summer holidays where it’s open everyday, there were a wide array of both arcade machines and video game consoles to play on, anecdotes from past and present video game developers (including a small tribute to the late Masayuki Uemura who supported the museum), signs describing various bits of history along with glass cases including important related material, etc. Despite not being the largest of museums for what’s there it should satisfy the curiosity of any video game fan of any era not only because of what’s on display but also because there’s so many things to interact with and discover that there's bound to be something you didn't know of beforehand, plus because it's not that large of a museum there's no worry of getting lost or overwhelmed but it doesn't feel underwhelming either. The place is ideal for a day out even if it was just yourself going there.

There was another thing that happened as well while we were there, by complete chance an online friend of both @klonoamiyumi and I (who has her own Tumblr blog @janeypoodle) was at the event, not only was this meetup not planned at all but they were planning to go to the museum the day before but couldn’t as the train got cancelled. What a plot twist! Janey is someone me and Klonoamiyumi have known about for a long time and while a potential visit did sometimes cross our minds for one reason or another it never took off. So to actually meet them in an unexpected place was such a wonderful surprise and a bonus to add to our day out, we all talked for a while and then we took a photo of us three to remember :>

Throughout the museum for the most part we all split up when going around what video games were available, but just before the museum closed Klonoamiyumi wanted me and our other IRL friend to play a game with him called Buzz! Junior: Jungle Party as it served a particular importance, he recalls this game was one of the only video games he played with family and not just by himself (which I can relate because I myself had Buzz! Junior: Rino Rumble which plays identically to Jungle Party, and that was a game I played with my family as well).

After that session together we quickly looked at the shop section and then left the museum, we decided to have food since it was late in the afternoon by that point (we went to McDonald’s specifically) and then we went back to the train station, however… Remember when I said there was one slip up that happened? Well while we managed to get back to train station, we narrowly missed our train (it was late in the evening as well), so I had to think quick and look up another train to the same destination on my phone and after some wondering around and last minute changes (because the train we needed to take ended up being on a different platform then announced). We got on and despite it being late in the evening we all got home safe and sound!

This trip was notable not just because of where we went but also because I've never organised anything like this before, but now that I have I can arrange a meetup of any kind again because starting something is always the hardest part, after that you start to get the hang of what you're doing and you get better every time! I think I speak for all of us when we all had a great experience!

Topic End: Epilogue

Again I'm really sorry for how overdue this is, I think you can tell the most significant thing included in this post hehe. I will say though this might be the last Points of Interest post for a while due to things that aren't really appropriate for this series, such as:

Events that are too negative to include (I intend this series to be positive and I don't want to bring myself or other people down reading the post)

Events that are positive but are too personal to include, this one is important to mention because truth be told I didn't really want to include topics relating to IRL events with family (like the cruise ship holiday) because while this series is a semi-dairy of sorts at the same time I only want to talk about things I'm comfortable being public online.

With that said, I hope you all enjoyed this POI and I'll see you next time!

[piptoost]

˙⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆Intro Post!˙⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Hello! My name, as you know, is pip._.toost (but you're more than welcome to call me pip)! I'm an artist that draws stuff and posts it on here sometimes, but this post should go a little deeper into who I am as a person, what my boundaries are on this site/app, and my general rules for interactions! 😋

˙⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆My DNI List!˙⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Getting right into it! Please DNI with this blog:

Proshippers. PLEASE, idc if you think it doesn't affect reality (it does. Things like that actually exist, believe it or not) just please do not interact with me.

Zoos, pedos, incest (whether it's participating or shipping), and others PUHLEASE 😭 it's never been a problem but I don't want it to start being a problem. I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Minors! I reblog a lot of things that minors should not be seeing 😭 so if you're under the age of 18 I'm sorry, you're gonna have to leave :(

Ageless blogs! I don't want to assume that you're the age of 18 or older, y'all, there are so many amazing artists on this site/app that don't have ages in their bios/blogs period and it sucks because of the previous point I made. Please put your age in your bio, I beg 😭

Mean people! Just don't be mean, I don't care what you are, I just care that you're respectful and not a bully :)

That's...honestly it. EVERYONE ELSE IS WELCOME :DDD

˙⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆My Likes & Dislikes!˙⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Right now, I'm really into Supernatural, Starkid (specifically the Hatchetfield series and anything that Jon Matteson does lmao), Moon Knight, and Fall Out Boy (it was never a phase, I've been stuck in it since middle school 😟)

I'm 19 years old! I'm gonna be 20 on June 25th this year I'M SO SCARED THESE ARE MY LAST MONTHS AS A TEEN WHAT DO I DO.

Before last November, I was in the Los Angeles Film School! Unfortunately, due to financial strain, I had to withdraw and am going to start school up again at my community college this month (Feb), but I did learn a lot from them! I'm planning on becoming some type of music major and am hoping to transfer to a CSU or UC >:)

I know how to play the drums, piano, guitar (mainly classical and acoustic), and bass. I also do sing a little, but that's something I want to get better at! I never really had more than a school year of vocal training :/

My music taste is kind of all over the place, really. My favorite artists include Fall Out Boy (duh), Stone Temple Pilots, AFI, Chris Cornell (including Audioslave and Soundgarden ofc), Korn, Lady Gaga, System of a Down, Jeff Blim, Radio Company, KISS, Lemon Demon, the Beatles, and ICP.

Favorite movie of all time: Across the Universe!!!

Favorite song: Fame > Infamy

Favorite Food: Sushi!

Favorite Fruit: Strawberry (duhhh). It's also my favorite flavor of anything, really!

˙⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆My Other Socials!˙⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Instagram: @/pip._.toost

TikTok: @/pip._.toost

You can also check out my commissions page, which is @piptoostcommissions / piptoostcommissions.tumblr.com

˙⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆Final Thoughts!˙⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Sorry this was so long, but thank you for scrolling if you're reading this! Hear, have some sweets as a token of my gratitude 🍰🧁🍓🍩

If you wanna be moots, just ask! I'd love to have more artists mutuals and stuff, I really do like the art community on this site/app. Or if you're also an artist and you follow me, I'll give you a follow back!

Thanks again for scrolling and I hope you have a great rest of your day/week/month/YEAR!

Bye bye! 😋

˙⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆Strawberry Dividers made by @sweetmelodygraphics˙⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆

[1d1195]

HIIIIII SAMMMMMMMMM HONEYYYYY💓💓💓💓💓💓

Sorry for replying so late! Anyways, from our last convo, I totally get about balance being hard, I think I try to be healthy but being very unhealthy and then I just get too worked up on being great at every aspect...that might sound condescending and narcissistic, I get it...but living in the environment I am in, nothing seems good honestly...it feels like everything I am doing is a mistake so i feel I'm only worthy if every aspect of my life is perfect. If its not grades, its health, or mental health, or my weight or face, so I am constantly trying to achieve it all, it is so exhausting being in that pessimistic place...now that i write this, maybe that is where obsession come from, because I'm so eager to escape reality, I will take any new, dopamine inducing part of my life and turn into 'my world', you know?

Also please don't ever stress about posting...tbh you not posting immediately makes me want to read your previous stuff or re-read my favsss, so even in your absence, you have been a delight.

In other news, actually no other news, I have been planning my tbr that I am going to have after exams...I really wanna read a good enemies to lovers like a crisp one but I don't wanna buy one of those corny books where they are enemies for like two chapters and one of them didn't even hate the other, nothing wrong with corny, i just need some action... people recommend the cruel prince and if i buy that it will be my first fantasy book, have you read that? What's your favourite trope besides soulmate because I know dolcezza was made from that 🤧🤧🤧 (imissthemandgarlicbread)

Geez that is long, anywayss hope you have an amazing day and incredible week and all your wishes come trueeee buh byeeeee 💞💘💝💖💗💓💕

-🧸

No I get it, I'm quite the perfectionist too about these kinds of things. If I'm not immediately good at it, I give up completely. I'm sorry you don't feel your environment is helping you thrive! That's extremely disheartening! I know you're studying to go into a medical profession--I obviously don't know a lot about it myself but I've seen a lot on TV and I hear a lot of things--I'm sure it's very common to feel the way you're feeling. I think there is an immense pressure on people in the medical field and I know you've put an immense pressure on yourself as well. I hope you figure out a good balance so you're able to enjoy the parts of learning the field that you've been studying for!

That sounds like a great book! I've never read it--had to Google it! I'm not really a fantasy kind of gal. I get a little overwhelmed with new worlds and phrases and I think if I got a good book and a got into it I would surely like it, just hasn't been the kind of thing I would pick up myself these days. The only enemies to lovers book I read recently was about Christmas and now I don’t even remember the name of it lol but it probably wasn’t real enemies like you were saying. On that same thread regarding a good enemies to lovers: I feel like you just described Zipper 😉 they were like enemies* but not really hehehehe

My favorite trope, oh Lord. I really don't know! Definitely a soulmate girly as you pointed out (I miss my garlic bread couple too). There's so many. Let me Google.

Probs these ones HAHAHAHAHA only one bingo, though so I’m not too dramatic I guess. But let me tell you how fast I fold for a “who did this you” or “hates everyone but you”

I'm just a sucker for any basic rom-com structure.

Don’t ever say sorry for the long messages. I love it!

Hope you have a magical weekend! 💕

Xoxo

[ciaossu-imagines]

Of course 💕 You deserve it and so much more. Also, I'm glad you're enjoying the requests. It's truly a win-win. About the kids’ story, I actually finished it 20 October (I wrote the date down so I’ll never forget) and I’m still kind of mourning it. It was so fun to write but it had to end and I was actually crying while writing it, not only because of it coming to an end but mainly because of what I had to write. I  think I told you about the main plan I had for the ending and I wrote that and everything that happened afterwards and it was not pleasant to write but it makes sense and I don’t regret it. I also want to tell you something small that I kept forgetting to in our previous conversations so is it alright if I DM it to you at some point? It’s super heartbreaking though, so be warned. But I was excited about finishing it for sure. I even wrote a list of everything that I still had to write and made sure I wrote at least one chapter every day until the end. The reason I mentioned 20 February was because I posted my Yata story on 18 and 19 February 2022 so I’ll start posting it on the two year anniversary of that story and because this one is so damn long (484 pages 😅), I know it will likely take around 3 days to post since the Yata story which is 336 pages took two days.

And kind of. Two in fact, though I first want to finish or get closer to finishing some of my other WIPs. The first idea is a shortish story of Haruki and Miiko’s child, Sumiko. She’s someone I’d like to explore since I’ve already got ideas about what she’ll be like in my mind and I’d like to write them down and see how they turn out. I say shortish because I’ll probably write until she’s 20 or so so because I don’t want to kill anyone of the older generation and want to leave that out in the open. Also because ma’am is not someone who’ll want a long term relationship so there also won’t be a wedding to work towards. In other story the main character will be Hinata’s older sister, Naomi. I wrote in the kids’ story that she’s married and her husband appears in a few scenes and because they’re both such nice people, it’d be interesting to write about them. Though Noami is still Hinata’s sister (an Ishida) so I presume she does have a fighter in her even if she doesn’t tend to be aggressive.

You definitely did. You deserve a good life and the way you were being treated wasn’t helping with that. And good luck in your journey. Right back at ya. You’re amazing as well and I hope that no matter what happens in the future, you remember that.

Also, thank you for answering my ask about your pfp. I’ll definitely check out that blog and if I can, might commission her to draw one of my OCs (probably Kyashi since I’m the best at describing her).

C

I really am and I am glad you are considering it a win-win! Honestly, I worry my writing has lost some of it's original touch and appeal but I am just trying, getting back into the swing of things, and honestly just having as much fun with it as I possibly can so I'm trying hard not to let the worrying of it get to me. And wow, congratulations on finishing it! I know what you mean by still mourning it because it was such a big part of you and your writing for a long time, it was something fun and an amazing break from reality for little sections of your day, much like this blog is to me, and it feels like a loss and you need to grieve it once it's no longer there or once you have finished it! I can definitely see why you would have been crying while writing too, especially remembering the kind of plan you had for the ending and I look forward to reading it and crying myself! Also, it's oddly comforting to realize I'm not the only one who cries sometimes while writing angst haha. And I think that's so goddamn amazing, the posting it on the anniversary of your other story! I love that!

I'm glad to hear you have other stories in mind and plans still in the same universe as that. It would be fun and interesting to see how Sumiko does turn out, what kind of person she'll be and how her life kind of turns out! And I can get what you mean by not wanting until adulthood because it would force some deaths of the OG's and such and that would hurt a lot, both for the writer and the fans. And hmm, it would be interesting to see some of the side characters, like Naomi, get their own little days in the spotlight. That would be super cute and really delightful so count me a fan of both ideas!

And no problems about the pfp and, of course, you know you can always dm me or email me if you prefer! I am slow in answering messages but will definitely try my best!

[bubblegumlefty]

Okay. So I'm leaving the Bridgestone Arena and on my way home now. Imma give a few of the highlights that I saw. I'm very tired, so I'm only going to talk about a little bit of what I saw. And I'll give more about it in the morning once I'm finally home and relaxed.

After some stressful driving, we arrived a little past seven o'clock, just in time to see Chris Jericho's promo with the painting. Said painting was beautiful but ended up getting destroyed. The seats we got weren't as great as I expected. They were on the main floor, which you'd think would be cool. Well, not if you're a short person like Moi. First off, there were these three tall ass men one row in front of us who would just not sit the fuck down at any point (then again, I'm only a little over 5 feet, so it probably wouldn't have made much of a difference if I was taller). So my plan to get good pictures almost went entirely out the window right there. Ngl, I was actually tempted the tiniest bit to "accidentally" jab one of them on the head or back with my fansign, but I kept my cool. Side note; when on the main floor of a wrestling show, buy hightops beforehand. 😔

Special mention for Joker Sting Cameo tonight. That was amazing. 🃏

Then here's the meat of my post; the Texas Chainsaw Massacre death match. I really didn't know what the hell I was getting into, but the experience was... well, I have to be honest here, a little disappointing... or maybe a lot disappointing. I don't know if my expectations were set much too high or what, but I was just not vibing too hard with what was happening. It wasn't anything like I expected. At least I got to dance along to Jeff's entrance and got glimpses of the magical man himself. The pop he got was amazing. But I sadly didn't get any good pictures besides the one I'll show below. There was blood involved, but it was fake blood. So Crimson Mask Jeff Hardy is gonna have to wait a little bit longer to see reality. Then there was an appearance by Leatherface, because #sponsored. Oh, and shortly after getting distracted by said Leatherface, Jeff then lost to Jarret, which being a big fan of him, obviously pissed me off and made me salty. Like, the only two memorable things I can even remember from the entire match was Jeff wearing a leatherface mask and wearing white clothing during his entrance, that leatherface cameo, and that Jeff Hardy painted guitar, which should honestly be a custom weapon for the AEW Fight Forever game. Seriously, someone get on that if it's possible, cause that would be sick. If there's one bright side to all this, it's that my good friend managed to record nearly the entire match on my phone... for a reason I don't have. Guess I just wanted to keep this memory sealed? Oh, well. Overall, it definitely could've been better, but I'll give it a high 6/10. At least I got to see my dream man with my own two eyes. Somewhat. 🥲

During a break, we decided to go to the merch stand. And whaddya know, no Hardy Boy merchandise. Like, at all. No necklaces, armbands, not even t-shirts. Nothing. Not only is this offensive, this should be a legit crime that they didn't carry anything Hardy Boyz related. (Obviously I'm joking and I don't really think that, but that definitely was a legit letdown for me. So between that and the fact Jeff lost the death match, that's two disappointments in a row for me. Man. 😮‍💨)

Once Rampage was over, we decided to leave early due to the fact that they had a hotel room booked that they needed to get to over two hours away from Knoxville, and we were just overall exhausted. So we didn't stick around for ROH, but I did get the fortune of at least seeing Claudio spinning around his opponent forty times. Literally. So that was a small treat. (Let me know if you want the live video, cause I got it. 🤭)

That's all I'll bring up for now. I got a five hour ride ahead of me, so Imma go to sleep. I'll talk more about my first AEW experience tomorrow. Good night, everyone, and reblog this one creepy picture of Jeff I managed to capture for good luck. 🍀