#(I’m writing a lavender-lives fic can you tell??)

[softlypaintedseafoam]

your love, like birth and death

synopsis. in which you hope a misguided prince realizes his affection for you is misplaced gratitude for you saving his life. a smitten prince can only propose once more.

pairing. gojou satoru x f!reader

word count. 3.1k | masterlist

content warning. faerie au, seelie prince!gojou, banshee!reader (afab), mentions of pregnancy, descriptions of blood and injuries, mutual pining but gojou's love is heavier, almost kisses

reblogs & interactions appreciated.

another repost of a favorite fic of mine to finally get something on the jjk masterlist i have set up. the title comes from a nizar qabbani poem, one of my favorites. anyone who knows me knows banshees are one of my favorite faeries, so this was a very fun piece for me to write!

This Court is dyed in the colors of Life, you note this particular morning.

Of course, this is something you’ve noted every morning since you’d been brought to this palace nearly a month ago. Yet you aren’t tired of noting it; the Court you have found yourself in is beautiful. From the ledge you lean against, it almost feels like you can see everything in Faerie.

You see the royal gardens, a mass of long grasses and moss dotted by colorful wild blooms. Overgrown and yet each flower seems right where it is supposed to be.

Beyond the walls of the castle, you see stretches and stretches of blue spruces and just beyond that a lake that almost seems purple. If this were a palace in Unseelie territory, you might have thought a kelpie lived in it.

Across the courtyard, souls living and deceased move as if in a dance. The living with their duties for the day, unaware of their ghoulish companions drifting about. Some have the ever permanent dribble of poisoned wines falling from their lips, others’ have blood seeping into their clothes from their torsos and others are missing limbs although they find no difficult in moving.

The sight of death faeries is one that gruesome. A mixture of life and death, the path you folk walk on until you return to nothing.

Neat yet unkempt, wild yet tame, expected yet unexpected ー that is the beauty of Faerie you’ve grown accustomed to in the centuries since your creation.

A beauty you rarely have the opportunity to appreciate when you often find yourself in the realm of humans, heralding death.

You wonder how much time has passed there since you’ve come to the Court of Reckoning. All while the skies have lost the traces of violet, peach and marigold that painted the dawn skies and have begun settling into a lovely shade of pastel blue. 

“I see I’ve finally found you,” when you look over your shoulder, it’s one of the prince’s advisors that greets you. The one with the long raven-black hair and brown eyes that remind you of humus-rich soil. You see the makings of a black tail with a tuft of fur peeking from his cloak and believe him to be some sort of phouka. “I almost thought for a moment our honored guest had disappeared,” his voice is light and airy, but he seems relieved to an extent. “I’m glad my concerns were proven untrue. Satoru would be quite unmanageable if that were the case.”

You shake your head, smiling politely, “I enjoy watching dawn turn into morning.” You look at the large bouquet in the phouka’s hands ー an assortment of lavender roses, baby’s breath and ferns.

“Our prince is too busy to deliver these himself this morning,” Suguru explains once they’ve caught your eye. You make sure to not let your fingers brush against one another when you reach for the blooms carefully. “Love at first sight, purity and fascination it is supposed to symbolize,” the advisor recounts the meaning of each bloom dutifully. He’s exasperated, you can tell. “Do you like them?”

“Yes, they’re quite lovely,” you believe so truly. Everyday since your arrival to the palace, the prince has had bouquet after bouquet gifted to you. Even if he cannot deliver them himself. “As were the rest I’ve received.”

“I’ve never seen Satoru so smitten,” you avoid the phouka’s gaze. “You should have met him when we were younger. He was adamant that he’d never be besotted with anyone lest he become a fool.” There’s a light pause as Suguru recalls the evening Satoru brought you to this palace. You who are cloaked in death and all of her colors. “Look at him now. He’s certainly caused a stir in his insistence you’ll be his queen. He’s a charming fool, though, I am sure.”

You prefer to think of the prince as a ridiculous fool but you cannot deny that he is charming. Dangerously so. If you hadn’t known better, you would have thought him to be a gancanagh, a love-talker.

“Please marry me,” came the soft request as sky blue eyes stared into your very being. “And I’ll love you more faithfully than any man, fae or otherwise.”

You try not to remember the way your chest clenched in surprise. How you were so surprised it almost felt like your skin had warmed. It’s best not to focus on that memory at all.

It’s a ridiculous notion, a seelie prince in love with a banshee.

“The prince is simply confusing gratitude with love,” you return Suguru’s gaze with a polite smile. You hope he believes you. “He’ll realize that soon and I will leave this place.” You know that will bring palace staff a great sense of peace. If there is one thing you’ve learned in your long life as a banshee it is that even if the Folk spurn mortals and their blink-of-an-eye lifespans, there are many things faeries and humans have in common.

A fear of death is certainly one of them.

As such, to the vast majority of faeriekind, Death Folk like yourself are not looked upon favorably. Banshee and dullahans alike, you’re more like pests in their eyes. 

You banshee women who scream and keen if death is near. 

The dullahans who hear those screams and arrive when that final hour has approached.

Yes, you know how death fae are viewed. You’ve heard the whispers in the palace, how you are an omen of malevolence to come. That your kind are like roaches. Should one appear, others will soon follow suit.

This is why you’ve come to appreciate this private ledge on the castle walls that receives less foot traffic than the rest. You’d rather the staff of the palace have peace of mind in your absence while you live in the palace even if their prince insists you can venture the halls as much as you’d like.

Once the promised revel he hopes to throw in your honor comes to pass, you know the prince will lose his interest in you. Then you will leave and continue about your existence until you fade into nothing but a vague memory in his subconscious.

That’s what you truly hope when you see the prince in question later on in the day for lunch in the garden.

How his eyes light up and he stands to his feet as Cypress, a lovely pixie tasked with being your attendant, announces your arrival. How he doesn’t even wait for you to reach the table before he comes to meet you. You are unused to being treated like royalty and yet their prince insists that you are. “You won’t believe how the old hags go on and on,” he sighs, remnants of annoyance dancing in his tone but his voice is soft with you. Cypress takes the dismissal in stride. “I couldn’t even come see you for breakfast. Did you like the flowers?”

He wraps your hands in his own large palms, seemingly unaffected by your corpse-cold skin, as he has done every time you’ve met since your arrival. “Yes, they were beautiful,” your smile is small and doesn’t quite reach your eyes. You hope this ridiculous yet charming fool realizes that loving one such as yourself is more trouble than good. That his love truly is just misplaced gratitude. “You really don’t have to send me flowers every morning.”

The prince disregards your words the way water rolls off the back of a duck, “next time I’ll bring you the flowers myself.” He guides you to the table filled to the brim with food you aren’t accustomed to eating. “Will you tell me your favorites finally? I’ve been going out on a limb with my guesses.”

“My tastes in flowers are unique, to say the least,” maybe it’s your nature, but your favorites tend to circle around the prevailing theme of your kind. Lavender to give the dead peace in passing on, calendula for blessing and love. Dandelions in the seed head stage were quite popular with ghost children, still finding them just as amusing as they did when they were alive. “The flowers you send me are more than enough.” The prince pouts but he decides to let you skirt around his request once more. You bring focus back to the spread, “it looks like you’ve demanded everything in the kitchen.”

There are strawberry-and-whipped cream filled pastries, cold cut platters and buttery biscuits to name a few things. The tip of the iceberg of everything on the table.

“I wanted to make sure our bases were covered,” the prince grins, teeth as white as his hair. “I hope you like lavender chamomile, that’s today’s tea. I’ve never had it before.” He drops cube after cube of sugar into his cup, drizzles the contents with honey before finally pouring in a splash of cream.

You take your tea plain and enjoy the gentle fragrance. Lavender buds are just barely visible below the tea’s surface. You close your eyes as the flavor hits your tongue. It tastes as wonderful as it smells. “Yes, this is quite nice. I really like it.”

“Should we have it for tomorrow as well?” He’s too eager to curry your favor.

You open your eyes to dissuade him but your attention is instead drawn to a headless hob nearing your table. You’ve seen this hob before, skirting about the palace bitterly as he carries his head in his hands much like a dullahan. He’s old, even by fae standards, with a long beard. There’s no question as to how the man died, beheading. You hope it was quick.

His beady eyes glare at you with a quiet rage similar to how most fae spirits do. You wonder how long he has been like this, refusing to board the carriage of any dullahan that may come to collect him and bring him to the Otherworld.

You personally believe that faeries leave behind ghosts more than humans do.

It’s why you’ve often seen ghosts from a distance at revels, dancing from dawn til dusk even if they will not be perceived by the living. Even if they can no longer don the fancy dresswear they were able to dress in.

Time and time again, they will do this. Staunchly refusing death even after they’re already in its hold.

“Oh, is there a ghost with us?” The prince notes how your eyes dart between him and the space he perceives as empty. “What’s it saying?”

“Tell this lout that I sooner hope his rule is contemptuous and brings the Court to ruin!” The hob’s head seethes. “That his many days are fraught with danger! Gakuganji is my name and this is the curse I cast upon him!”

Folk can’t lie, but you you prefer not to relay the bitter message. “He hopes your rule is one that is,” you lick your lips and raise your cup to your lips. “Filled with exciting thrills,” not an exact lie. Perhaps to this radical prince, those sorts of threats are exciting. “He says his name is Gakuganji.”

“Exciting thrills, you say?” The prince barks in amusement, shoulders shaking with his laughter. “That doesn’t sound like the traitorous scoundrel I know. You don’t have to lie, he’s probably cursing me and my bloodline for generations to come as we speak.” The hob growls at the lackadaisical nonchalance of the elf. But it seems he has had his fill as he stomps off before he can hear more insult to his person.

“Gakuganji has lost his touch even in death,” the prince’s amused chuckles turn into light sighs “You wouldn’t have liked him very much when he was alive,” you’re sure you can agree with that much of the prince’s words. Gakuganji, as you now know him, has been one of the more unpleasant spirits in the palace. “He was very stuck in his ways. What’s it like, seeing ghosts all the time?”

Normal?

You can’t quite remember what it was like when you were a newly-made banshee and everything was new. Nor can you remember the life you once led as a human. You simply remember your death was a terrible, terrible thing. “It’s as normal to me as it’s normal for you not to see them,” you set your cup down. “If someone asked you what’s it like to see the blue sky everyday, it would be a strange question, correct?”

The prince takes in your words thoughtfully, not slighted in the least. “I guess that’s true,” he nods to himself. “I just wondered if it was something that took some getting used to.” The prince removes his darkened spectacles from the bridge of his nose. “I told you before I have pretty good eyes. I’m able to perceive a lot of things no one else can from mana to the shape of one’s soul. But the spirits of the deceased are exceptions to my eyes, it seems.”

“Your Highness,” you begin.

“Satoru,” the prince corrects you swiftly.

“Your Highness,” you insist. This boundary you won’t cross for yourself. “I’m not sure it’s really wise for you to tell me about your eyes. I’m not a member of this family or your closest allies.”

“But you will be,” he tells you as if he’s simply remarking on how pleasant the weather is. “I will become king of this Court and you’ll be by my side as my queen.” You’re quite sure that if his mother, the High Queen, has anything to say about it, she’d sooner relinquish her throne to a random nixie than allow a banshee to wed her son. “I trust you as much as I trust Suguru or Nanami.”

You wish he wouldn’t.

A Seelie prince and his banshee queen? That sounds like the start to a ballad meant to insult him.

It’s misplaced gratitude, not love. That’s what this prince feels for you. You tell him as such once again as you have everyday since you were brought here. “You’ll realize that soon, maybe even before the revel you plan for me,” you whisper ー no, you pray. “There will be another you yearn for and you’ll realize the difference.”

The prince will fall deeply, truly, unapologetically in love with someone and he’ll discover the truth.

Perhaps it will be a lake maiden of Spring whose dreadlocks drip with water droplets that fall onto dewy cinnamon-brown skin. Who sings of the beautiful red and pink of the roses and of love.

Or maybe it will be a selkie man who doesn’t mind living far from the sea as he’s brought a love as deep as the ocean along with him. Whose coat is donned in scars and scratches from battles past, a reflection of his form as a seal.

Or maybe he can grow enraptured with his phouka advisor whom he trusts more than anyone in this life.

Someone dyed in Life’s colors.

Someone beautiful.

When that time comes, you’ll be happy for him. Maybe then the ache that resonates through your heart and bones will end.

The prince isn’t the only fool here, you admit reluctantly. You’re just as much, if not more so. But this feeling will come to pass, “this is just gratitude. Fascination. Not love.”

“You think I don’t love you?” The prince asks quietly, resting his chin on his palm as he looks at you. He says he has good eyes, he wonder what you look like to him through them. You who once was dyed in Life’s colors but have since become painted over by Death’s brush.

Death folk with death folk.

Life folk with life folk.

“I know you don’t,” he can’t. You can’t allow either of yourselves to do so. “A banshee by your side as queen,” you want it sound ridiculous to both of your ears. “It’s absurd.”

There are no rules that state your union is forbidden, this you know. But the laws of nature are simple. Life and Death co-exist separately, unable to exist without one another. But there has never been a tale where the two joined together as one.

Maybe you’re just too scared to be the first.

“I want the woman that I love by my side as queen,” the prince replies smoothly. “Your species is of little importance to me. All that matters is that my love is returned in full. Please, allow me to be yours,” he reaches for your hand once more, stepping out of his chair in favor of sitting on bended knee. “More than anyone has or ever will, I love you. This is an unwavering truth.”

The blood of the love-talker must run through his veins. Why else do you feel like this? Your desire for this prince will eat away at you until you become undone and return to nothing. “You’re a prince. It’s the duty of the royal family to provide heirs,” even the smallest sprite knows this to be fact. “Are you asking me to stay with you and have them?”

“Please have my children,” azure stares seriously into your pale eyes that were once [color] when you were human.

Your skin feels warm at his unabashed request.

Gojou Satoru has no shame, that you have become sure of in the near month of knowing one another.

He had no shame when he asked you to be his bride when you first met.

There was no shame to be found when he insisted that you stay in the palace as an honored guest he owes his life to.

Nor is there any shame to be found in him now when he cups your cheek in his furnace hot hands to guide your lips down to his, long white lashes fluttering shut.

I shouldn’t, your mind screeches at you. I shouldn’t allow us to get even one millimeter closer. Yet you make no move to do so as your lips are just barely touching whenー

“Your Highness, your mother is requesting you,” Nanami’s mild-mannered drawl saves you at the last minute.

You jerk back into your chair in relief, heart pounding. You aren’t able to make eye contact with anyone, least of all the overworked horned elf-kobold hybrid brought to receive the Gojou heir.

The prince clicks his tongue in annoyance, glaring over his shoulder at the advisor, “she can’t wait? We haven’t even begun eating yet.”

Nanami looks just as annoyed to be there, “the faster you heed her call, the quicker you can go back to fawning after the object of your desires.” He tells his prince. “And the faster I can get back to resting.”

The prince with snow-white hair clicks his tongue once more, but he doesn’t argue against it. He turns to you regretfully, “I’ll have to leave again. Perhaps we’ll have more time together at dinner,” you hope the wait for dinner is longer still. You know the prince hopes the time passes as quickly as he can blink.

Warm lips press against the back of your hand, lingering for five seconds longer than they should.

The bones of your hands ache.

[sapphic-terror]

The movies had to kill off Lavender Brown because they knew she’d fucking own y2k fashion

[actuallysaiyan]

There's A Light(Tomura Shigaraki x Fem!Reader)

warnings: mentions of death, fluff, angst, nightmares, mentions of Tenko's quirk, he's referred to as Tenko mostly in this fic word count: 0.7k pairings: Tomura Shigaraki/Tenko Shimura x Fem!Reader summary: it's the same nightmare every time, but this time you're there to help him calm down. a/n: my first Tenko fic!!!!!! Special thanks to: @kentocalls for the idea, @cherryblossombankai for encouraging me to write this. dividers by: @adornedwithlight and tagging @pixelcafe-network

The sounds were still so intense. The vision of it was still so bright. The way they just crumbled away. Even poor Mon had just crumbled away. Tenko watches in horror as a spectator to the worst day of his life. He screams, clutching his face in the same way he had done that day. He’s screaming, crying as he can’t turn back time. It’s terrifying to watch it over and over and over again.

Then he wakes up. He’s…in your bed. With your cute lavender sheets that you swore helped with anxiety. So much for that, he thinks to himself. But he sees you snuggled up close to him, and that alone is enough to bring him back down to earth. It had only been a dream.

Just the worst dream ever.

You stir in your sleep, rolling over to be even closer to him. You blink in the darkness of the room and finally you notice that your boyfriend seems to be awake. It dawns on you that he might have had a nightmare. You look at him.

“Tenko…you okay?” you ask in a sleepy voice.

He shudders. “I’m…no, I’m not.”

You finally shake the rest of the sleep from your mind and you snuggle even closer to him. He finally gets close to you, wrapping his arms around you. Every time he touches you, he has to remember not to use his quirk. God, it would kill him to accidentally do that to you. And the way you just trust him not to fucking decay you. It kills him inside sometimes to even think of it.

“Didja have a nightmare?” you ask, your voice tinged with drowsiness.

“Yes, I did.”

You look into his eyes and play with his hair. He shudders again, wondering how the hell he even got this lucky to have such a wonderful person to love him. Nobody could ever take you away from him. He’d rather die than to give you up. You were everything to him and you pulled all this softness from him. You broke down those walls with kindness, patience and true love.

“The same one?”

Tenko nods, “Y-yeah…it’s always that one.”

He had told you what happened to his family. You were horrified that nobody but the worst man ever had come to his rescue. But you were a soothing balm for Tenko’s hurt soul. All the bruises, the scratches, the scars…oh you tenderly took good care of them and kissed his tears away.

“I know there’s nothing I can do or say to change that day,” you pressed a soft kiss to his chapped lips. “But I can tell you that I’m here with you forever.”

No, you couldn't change his past. But you could change his future. You could make sure he lives a happy life. You would be there with him for this nightmare and all the others that would be bound to happen in the near future. You could be the one to dry his tears and to kiss his wounds.

“I want you…I want you to stay with me.” His words sound so vulnerable. He touches your face and you smile.

Every time he touches you, it’s so sweet. It’s so warm. You know how easily he could lose control and the fact that he doesn’t, it shows his true devotion to you. His quirk could easily kill you. Except Tenko is so deeply in love with you, he can control it. It’s all for you.

“I’ll stay, my love. I won’t ever leave you, Tenko.”

You cup his cheeks and you place a soft kiss to his forehead first. Then you kiss the tip of his nose, which makes him laugh so softly. Then you kiss his lips, allowing it to go on for longer than just a few seconds.

“I used to be so scared…going to sleep used to be so scary. But now, even if I have nightmares, I know I’m safe.” He confesses, his smile a little more shy now.

“I promise, I’ll always be the light in your darkness.”

And it’s with sweet words like this that Tenko knows you are the one for him. You understand him like no other and he knows that you’ll always be right by his side.

With a few more shared kisses, Tenko finally feels comfortable enough to fall asleep.

reblogs and comments always appreciated!

©actuallysaiyan 2024– do not repost on other platforms, copy, translate or edit my works!

[wheneverfeasible]

hello! i really enjoy your account and your writing.

a few weeks ago, you reblogged a steddie series about like secret admirer! steve but eddie thinks that the notes are from tommy. eddie and steve are also in the same art class, along with robin and carol.

it was one of my fav series on here, but i suddenly couldn’t find it and i can’t remember the author’s name. i totally looked for it, but no luck haha. i was wondering if you know the who the original poster is, as i really enjoyed the series. if not, no worries

thanks :)

Hello anon!

I also greatly adore that series, which is by @eddiethebrave! The start of the series can be found here!

Now, not to make OP feel guilty or anything, but I will say that the series might go on indefinite hiatus (I hope not!) as OP’s interests are shifting elsewhere. Which is super valid! Live your fandom life however you want!

I will say that I do hope that OP gives us a bit of closure eventually though. I’m loving my idiot sons. ♥️

If you would like recommendations for other secret admirer fics as well, I have a few others I’ve enjoyed immensely!

Secret Admirer by @scoops-aboy86

crush notes by @steddiecameraroll

can you see the stars in your dreams (and do they have a lot to say about me) by @carolperkinsexgirlfriend (& @queenie-ofthe-void)

Lavender Letters by @estrellami-1

I adore the secret admirer trope, if you can’t tell lol.

I am also nudging @derythcorvinus into writing one and while I don’t have an actual fic in working on for the trope, I am working on a small scene that won’t leave my head that’s set after a secret admirer reveal because I relish in angst lol.

[oldiesstationlover11607]

Hihi! I just wanna start by saying thank you for always answering everyone’s requests and having a positive attitude!

I myself have a request: You recently wrote a fic where it was nerdier!reader x basketball player!tyler Joseph, and they had a group project. May I request either a part two to that that is all about getting ready for prom, going to prom, etc? And if you’d rather not do a part two, can I request a separate prom fic? :) If you don’t have time, that’s perfectly alright! You’re a very skilled author, and I will appreciate anything that you write :D

School Project Part 2 - Tyler Joseph x Nerd!Reader

Warnings: Slight angst - argument and bullies

Word Count: 2641

A/N: This was fun to continue :) enjoy it!!

PART 1

The weeks leading up to prom were a whirlwind of excitement, nerves, and anticipation. After Tyler’s big promposal at the basketball game, I felt like I was walking on air. For the first time, I wasn’t just watching everything happen from the sidelines. I was part of the story now, and Tyler had made it clear that I wasn’t just a background character in his life anymore.

But as the initial excitement started to settle, the reality of the situation began to sink in. Prom. With Tyler Joseph. I didn’t know the first thing about prom, let alone how to prepare for it. Everyone around me seemed to have it all figured out—girls in my classes were constantly buzzing about their dresses, their hair appointments, spray tan appointments, and their dates. They all seemed so confident, like they had been planning for this night their whole lives.

And then there was me. Who never thought I’d be going to prom with anyone, let alone Tyler Joseph.  I wasn’t sure where to even start.

Thankfully, my best friend wasn't about to let me panic alone. The day after Tyler’s promposal, she cornered me in the cafeteria, her eyes practically glowing with excitement. I was alone–Tyler had decided to go back to his friends’ table where they could discuss basketball things.

“So,” she said, plopping down next to me with a wide grin. “You’re going to prom with Tyler. How does it feel to be living every girl’s dream?”

I laughed, shaking my head. “I keep waiting for him to tell me it was some sick  joke.”

She rolled her eyes. “Please. Did you see the way he looked at you during that game? There’s no way this is a joke. He’s into you.”

I shrugged, still trying to wrap my head around it. “I guess. But prom… I don’t even know where to start.”

Her grin widened. “Lucky for you, I’m an expert at all things prom. We’re going dress shopping this weekend, and you are not getting out of it.”

I groaned, but there was a smile on my face. “Fine, but I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” she said, linking her arm through mine. “Trust me. By the time I’m done with you, Tyler won’t know what hit him.”

Saturday came around quickly, and before I knew it, we were standing in the middle of a bustling boutique, surrounded by racks of shimmering gowns in every color imaginable. My stomach twisted with nerves as I scanned the dresses, feeling completely out of my depth.

My best friend, on the other hand, was in her element. She immediately started pulling dresses off the racks, holding them up to me with a critical eye. “This one’s cute, but maybe a little too much sparkle. Oh, but this one—this would look amazing on you.”

I smiled weakly, letting her take the lead. After trying on several dresses that felt too over-the-top for me, she finally handed me a simple, elegant gown in a soft shade of lavender. “Try this one,” she said, her eyes twinkling. “I have a good feeling about it.”

I slipped into the dress, and when I stepped out of the dressing room, I barely recognized myself. The fabric flowed beautifully, hugging my figure in all the right places without feeling too flashy. The color complimented my skin tone, and for the first time, I felt like maybe, just maybe, I could pull this off.

Her eyes lit up when she saw me. “That’s the one,” she said, nodding in approval. “You look stunning.”

I turned to the mirror, feeling a strange mix of disbelief and excitement. I did look… different. Not like the quiet girl who sat in the back of the classroom. Not like the girl who was invisible to most people. I looked like someone who could actually go to prom with Tyler Joseph.

“Okay,” I said, smiling at my reflection. “This is it.”

She grinned, clapping her hands together. “Now all we need to do is figure out your hair, makeup, and nails. We’re going all out for this, Y/N.”

As the days passed, I found myself thinking more and more about what prom night would actually be like. Tyler and I had been texting more often, sometimes about school, sometimes about music, and sometimes just about random things. He was different in these moments—more relaxed, more real. It felt like I was finally getting to know the real Tyler, not just the jock everyone admired.

But there was still a part of me that couldn’t help but wonder what would happen after prom. Was this just a one-time thing? Would everything go back to the way it was after the night was over? Or was this the start of something more?

I tried not to overthink it, but it was hard not to let those thoughts creep in, especially when I saw Tyler with his friends at school. He was always surrounded by people, always the center of attention, and I couldn’t help but feel like I didn’t quite fit into that world. I was still the quiet one, the one who preferred to stay in the background.

But whenever Tyler caught my eye in the hallway or sent me a quick text during class, I felt a flicker of hope. Maybe things really were different now.

The night of prom arrived faster than I expected, and before I knew it, I was standing in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection as my best friend fussed over my hair.

“You look amazing,” she said, stepping back to admire her handiwork. My hair was styled in soft waves, with a few strands pinned back to frame my face. My makeup was simple but elegant, just enough to enhance my features without feeling too overdone.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm the butterflies in my stomach. “I can’t believe this is actually happening.”

She smiled, giving me a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. “Believe it. And just remember, Tyler asked you to prom. He could’ve asked anyone, but he chose you.”

I nodded, her words sinking in. I couldn’t deny the flutter of excitement in my chest. Tyler had chosen me. And tonight, I was going to let myself enjoy it.

A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door, and my heart skipped a beat. Tyler was here.

She grinned, practically bouncing with excitement. “Go get your man!”

“He’s barely my man,” I laughed and made my way to the door, my heart pounding in my chest. When I opened it, there he was, standing on the porch in a sleek black suit and a tie that matched my dress perfectly. He looked… stunning. But it wasn’t just his appearance that made my heart race—it was the way he looked at me when our eyes met, like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“Wow,” Tyler breathed, his gaze sweeping over me. “You look… incredible.”

I blushed, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

He grinned, holding out a small corsage of white roses. “For you.”

I took the corsage, my hands shaking slightly as I slipped it onto my wrist. “Thank you. It’s beautiful.”

Tyler smiled, his eyes softening as he took a step closer. “You ready?”

I nodded, feeling the butterflies in my stomach flutter wildly. “Yeah. Let’s do this.”

The drive to the venue was filled with nervous laughter and light conversation. Tyler was calm and easygoing, which helped ease some of my anxiety. Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that tonight was going to be one of those moments that I’d remember forever.

When we arrived at the venue, the ballroom was already buzzing with excitement. The decorations were beautiful—twinkling lights, elegant drapes, and tables set with sparkling centerpieces. As we stepped inside, I couldn’t help but feel like I was walking into a dream.

Tyler’s hand found mine as we made our way through the crowd, and I felt a rush of warmth at the simple gesture. People were watching us, whispering, but for once, it didn’t bother me. I wasn’t the quiet girl fading into the background anymore. I was here, with Tyler, and I felt like I belonged.

The night moved in a blur of music, laughter, and dancing. Tyler was attentive, always checking in to make sure I was okay, and for the first time in a long time, I felt completely at ease. He wasn’t just the popular basketball star anymore—he was Tyler, the guy who made me laugh, who understood me, who made me feel seen.

At one point, Tyler suggested we meet up with his friends. I hesitated for a moment, but I didn’t want to seem nervous. After all, I was his date tonight. I nodded, and he led me toward the table where his basketball friends were gathered with their dates, all of them dressed to the nines in glittering gowns and perfectly tailored suits.

“Hey, man!” one of Tyler’s friends, Jason, called out, slapping Tyler on the back. His gaze slid over to me, a smirk forming on his lips. “So, you actually brought her?”

I stiffened, my fingers tightening around Tyler’s hand. The way Jason said it made my stomach twist, like I didn’t belong, like it was some big joke that I was here. I glanced at the other girls sitting at the table. Their eyes darted between me and Tyler, barely veiling their disdain.

“Yeah, this is Y/N,” Tyler said, his tone light but firm. He seemed unfazed, but I could feel the tension rising in my chest.

One of the girls leaned forward, her overly bright smile not quite reaching her eyes. “Oh, Y/N, isn’t it? We’ve, like, never really seen you around much. You’re... what, in the same English class as Tyler?” She let out a little laugh, as though that was somehow amusing.

“Yeah and history,” I replied quietly, my voice barely audible over the music. I could feel their eyes on me, judging, picking me apart.

Another one of Tyler’s friends, Ryan, chuckled. “I gotta admit, when Tyler said he was taking you, we thought he was kidding.”

Tyler let out an awkward laugh while the girls giggled, exchanging knowing looks. One of them whispered something to her friend that made her burst into laughter.

My heart sank. Suddenly, the dress that had made me feel beautiful, like I belonged, felt like a costume that didn’t fit. Like I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t. Their words were sharp, like tiny daggers, chipping away at the confidence I had felt earlier in the night.

I looked up at Tyler, hoping for some kind of reassurance. But he just gave an awkward smile, not quite knowing how to respond. He didn’t laugh, but he didn’t say anything to defend me either. He seemed uncomfortable, like he wasn’t sure how to handle his friends’ comments.

Jason leaned in, his smirk growing wider. “I mean, no offense, but we figured it was just, like, a pity thing. You know, since you...”

That was the final blow. I felt my chest tighten, my eyes burning with unshed tears. I couldn’t stand there anymore. I couldn’t be the punchline of this cruel joke.

“I—I think I need some air,” I mumbled, pulling my hand out of Tyler’s grasp and turning away before the tears could fall.

“Y/N, wait!” Tyler called after me, but I didn’t stop. I pushed through the crowd, my vision blurred as I stumbled toward the exit. The laughter and music seemed distant, muffled by the pounding of my heart.

I made it outside, the cool night air hitting my face as the first tear slipped down my cheek. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold it together, but the hurt was too much. I had known deep down that I didn’t fit into Tyler’s world. I had known it from the start, but hearing his friends say it out loud—like I was some joke he couldn’t get out of—was too painful to bear.

I wiped at my cheeks furiously, angry at myself for crying, for letting them get to me. But no matter how hard I tried, the tears kept coming.

Footsteps echoed behind me, and before I could slip away into the shadows, Tyler was there, his face full of concern.

“Y/N,” he said softly, his voice filled with regret. “Please, don’t go.”

I shook my head, stepping back. “Tyler, just... don’t. I get it now. This whole thing was a mistake. I want to go home.”

He frowned, his brow furrowing. “What are you talking about?”

I looked away, unable to meet his eyes. “Your friends—they think I’m some charity case. And honestly, I’m starting to wonder if they’re right.”

Tyler’s face fell, his expression one of pure disbelief. “What? No, Y/N, that’s not true.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything back there?” I asked, my voice cracking. “You just stood there while they made me feel like a joke.”

He stepped closer, his eyes searching mine. “Because I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t expecting them to act like that, and I—I should’ve said something. I’m sorry. But I swear, Y/N, I didn’t ask you because I felt bad for you. I asked you because I wanted to. Because I like you.”

I blinked, not sure I had heard him correctly. “You… like me?”

He nodded, his gaze intense. “Yes. I’ve liked you for a while now. I just didn’t know how to show it. I thought asking you to prom was my way of finally telling you. And tonight… you’ve been amazing. I’m sorry my friends acted like jerks. They don’t know you like I do.”

I swallowed hard, my heart still aching but starting to soften at his words. “But why didn’t you defend me?”

Tyler ran a hand through his hair, looking frustrated with himself. “I know I messed up. I didn’t handle it right, and I’m sorry. But I’m here now, and I want to make this right. Please, don’t let them ruin tonight for us.”

I hesitated, my emotions still swirling, but the sincerity in his eyes made me pause. He wasn’t like them. He had never treated me like they did.

Tyler reached out, gently taking my hand. “Y/N, I asked you to prom because I wanted you by my side. Not because of what anyone else thinks. I’m sorry for what they said, but I don’t care what they think. I care about you.”

His words broke through the walls I had built up, and I felt the tears fall again, but this time they weren’t from hurt. They were from the overwhelming relief that he wasn’t like his friends, that this night wasn’t a cruel joke after all.

“Tyler…” I whispered, my voice trembling.

Before I could say anything else, he closed the distance between us, his hand cupping my cheek as he leaned in and kissed me. It was soft and sweet, but there was something more—something that made my heart race and my knees weak.

When we pulled back, Tyler rested his forehead against mine, his breath warm against my skin. “I’m sorry,” he murmured again, his voice full of emotion. “But I’m not letting you go.”

I closed my eyes, feeling the weight of his words settle over me like a blanket of warmth. I wasn’t a joke to him. I wasn’t invisible anymore. And as we stood there under the stars, I realized that this night wasn’t just a dream—it was real. Tyler was real. And maybe, just maybe, this was the beginning of something I had never imagined for myself.

//

REQUESTS OPEN

[thecapricunt1616]

Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 2

♡ Summary: Carmy & Syd go horseback riding!!! Carmy's therapy friends push him to go for what he wants, his 'light at the end of the tunnel'

♡ W/C: 6,534

♡ Posted Date: 04/07/2024

♡ A/N: Hayoooo!!! I am too inspired... this has become a multi-chap fic hahaha I am havin' so much fun here!! Thank you @gingergofastboatsmojito for inspiring me to keep going!!! ILY! As per usual please know - this fic was inspired by THIS FIC here - Tucson by the GLORIOUS GINGER!!!! Go read that before you even THINK about reading this fic ok?! I love how I hate storer for the same reasons but im a sucker for writing a slowburn - I find myself screaming at MYSELF internally "make them kiss already!!!!" but they will KISSSS SHORTLY SO SHORTLY MY DEARSSSS !!! It will be a JUICY TAYLOR SWIFT DAYLIGHT ASS KISS OK!!!! THEY WILL ONLY SEE EACHOTHER FROM THEN ON!!!! Its gonna be a 'and I can still see it all in my mind all of you all of me intertwined I USED TO THINK LOVE WOULD BE BLACK AND WHITE BUT ITS GOLDENNNNNNN. We need Carmy to realize a few more things but then - he will be hozier level devoted to this woman even more then he already is, I hope you enjoy!!

♡ Warnings for BTC: Not really any? Like? LOL - Swearing?! Smoking cigarettes?! They just went horseback riding & carmy went to therapy- oh Ig talks of carmy getting hard LMAO but thats as crazy as we get this chapter. ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

Stardust nudges his shoulder so hard he almost falls over, and he turns to look at her. His heart jumped into his throat, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. She was there, she was really there. 

“Uh-” he blinked a few times, to be sure that she wouldn’t disappear. “Syd? Hey..uh-” he felt his entire body buzzing with excitement. He couldn’t help the smile that took over his features. She looked… gorgeous. Carmen wasn’t sure there actually was a word in any human language ever to exist that could describe just how wonderful she looked. 

Her hair was in its natural state, she was wearing an adorable corduroy jacket, black jeans, and white sneakers. “You came to a farm…in those?” he motions to her shoes. 

She laughs a bit “Wow- it’s great to see you too, Carm. Didn’t realize you were…actually like living on a farm” she approached him carefully. 

“Shit- yes- fuck- It’s its so good to see you, Syd, C’mere” he pulls her into a tight, long hug. The smell of her lavender vanilla perfume nearly made him melt. 

“You’re like…tan- and…muscley now” She laughs a bit, squeezing his arm lightly. 

“Uh..” he pulled away, cheeks bright red. “Yeah uh.. It's like- fuckin hard t’ride a horse. And the um…” he rubbed his neck nervously “The uh cows.. They eat hay? Most the time, and so we need to move the bales during the morning for em, they’re like…. 75? 80 pounds? So moving like 10 back and forth every day helps. And I dont really.. Go inside? Here? Its like… uh.. Thats the therapy mostly, the animals- at least f’me” he said sheepishly. 

She nodded, looking around the stable. “That one behind you is yours? Shes been side-eying me creepily since I started talking” she pointed to Stardust. 

“Oh! Fuck sorry yea, well- no…not- not mine- I got ‘er t’trust me. But uh, yeah this is Stardust. She’s a super sweet girl” He explained. Stardust leaned in, sniffing Syds hair carefully. 

“Cute- All you’re missing is a hat” She teased.

He chuckled a bit,  “Ok, c’mon - why are you here, Syd” He said with a small smile, crossing his arms over his chest.

She shrugged, looking at the ground and kicking a rock out of the way with her shoe. “Cause…I was worried- I dunno…” She definitely wasn't going to get bold and tell him that she’d missed him, terribly.

“Ok…well now that y’here, and y’see i’m okay…wanna have some fun?” He asked, a small smile on his lips.

Syd looked back up at him, as if he had 3 heads. “Okay- Where is Carmen Berzatto- Not his… Weird alien clone- Camren Brazota” she said, laughing a bit “what do you mean fun?” She asked, and Carmy laughed, real, and genuine. 

“Well- If I didn’t change my view a little I’d never leave. So, yes, Syd, ‘a little fun never hurt noone’ - per my therapist. Shes fuckin annoying. I much prefer the horses.” He pet Star’s mane and she leaned into his touch.

“Holy shit” Syd laughed a bit. “Wow- alright. I feel like you’re a whole new man already, what kind of fun?” she mused. 

“Ever ridden a horse?” he walked over to the saddle rack, pulling off a double seated one and hanging it over the back of the stall door. 

“No- Actually, Don’t I need um…like - stuff for it?” she asked. 

“Oh don’t think I wont give you the full experience” he opened the riding closet, “Whats your shoe size?” he asked, crouching down and looking through the pairs of extras. 

“8? Er- 9 probably 9” she said. He dug through them until he found a matching pair.

“These should do, y’stuff is cool here we can just leave it in her stall” he told her, holding out his arm for her to hold while she switched her shoes.

“You seem like…” she said as she slipped off her sneaker and put on the boot. “I dunno…chill- well- i wont go that far- but chill-er then before.” Carm snorted a laugh, holding on to her arm to steady her. 

“Thanks? I guess..that’s good right?” He asked. 

“Yeah! Yeah of course…I mean, it’s nice. To see you not so…anxious.” She said, slipping the other boot on. 

“Yeah I um…” he cleared his throat, opening the stall door. “I uh..I’m takin meds- Now? Uh..all this shit. Y’know they have me like tranquilized more then these guys” he said and she laughs, Carmen smiled proudly at the fact, relishing in the wonderful sound. 

“But yeah like Like 3 er..er 4. they say I had all this uh..mental shit. Goin’ on w’me and that’s why I was all…wound up I guess” he explained, calling Star out and getting her harness situated. 

Syd caught herself staring at his arms as he worked, how the toned muscle moved beneath the fabric of the shirt. 

“Aren’t you freezing?” She asked, noticing he wasn’t wearing a jacket like she was. 

“Used to it now, well- I mean the moving around. It gets hot this shit is heavy. Wanna try to hold the saddle?” He asked, unhooking the saddle from the stall door where he’d left it momentarily. 

“It can’t be that bad” she countered. 

“I think this thing weighs probably as much as you do.” He said “hold out your arms” he smiled a bit. 

She lifted her arms out in front of her and he plops the saddle down, she had to plant one of her feet forward so she didn’t fall face first due to the sudden weight and he laughed, catching the saddle quickly and baring most the weight. 

“Told you” he teased. 

She rolled her eyes “yeah whatever. Saddle up the horse, cowboy” she dropped the saddle back in his arms. He hurled the saddle over Stars back with a grunt. 

“Fuckin hell” he huffed, realizing since the saddle was nearly double the weight as his usual, and being on the shorter end- he couldn’t just get it on her when she was standing straight. “Bow” he told the horse and she just stared at Sydney. 

“Don’t embarrass me, Star. Bow” he told her and she looked the other way. 

“So uhhh…this one’s trained, huh?” Sydney teased. 

Carmen looked back at her “mmhmm maybe she doesn’t like strangers” he said, walking over to the other side. 

“Since she’s bein difficult y’gonna have T’help. C’mere” he waved her over and she followed. “So when I push it up, just grab the saddle pad and make sure it doesn’t move, yea?” He asked. 

“The fuck is a saddle pad, dude- I know my way around a kitchen not a fuckin horse stable.” She looked at the many different layers the horse was already wearing. 

“Alright. So this,” he lifted the cloth, “is her blanket. Keeps her core warm. And beneath it” he pats the pad “this is her saddle pad, it makes it more comfortable. So our bones aren’t like..diggin in her back and shit. Also shock, when she jumps the foam of it helps our weight disperse. The saddle is so big and heavy I can’t keep the pad still at the same time, so just hold it f’me,” he took her hand, guiding it to where he wanted her to hold. 

She felt her heartbeat quicken, his hands were so large and calloused on top of her own. She nodded wordlessly, keeping her eyes trained on where she was meant to be holding and focusing on keeping it steady as he went back around and carefully lifted up the heavy saddle with a grunt, laying it over the horses back. 

“Jesus- how much can this thing carry” Syd asked. 

“Well she is a mare, she weighs about…mmm- 1900? She can comfortably hold about 400 pounds for a decent distance but she can’t do that for hours and hours at a time. We together can’t be more then 300, and her gear is less then 100 pounds. Were just goin f’r a quick ride, I gotta get to therapy at 3” he explained as he buckled on her saddle. 

“Ah. So you’ve been memorizing horse information instead of creating recipes? I figured when I got here you’d have gone nuts by now without being in a kitchen so long” she gently touched the horses mane as she spoke. 

“Maybe. Well…I am kinda goin crazy? But I can’t…let it out?” He chuckled a bit “does that make sense? Nights are a little hard before my sleep meds kick in but that just says I haven’t done enough that day” he got up. “So y’gettin up first since I’m sittin in back” he explained. 

“Oh…uh- ok how do I?” She asked looking up at the at least 7 foot tall animal. 

“Y’not gonna be able to do it alone. C’mere” he told her. She comes over and looks at him. 

“How the fuck do you do this?” She looked up at the saddle that was at the top of her head before looking back at him. 

“So-“ he snorts a laugh at her wide confused expression. “She’s not gonna like you trying to roll up on her back, and I don’t want you t’get thrown off, she can be moody with new people. I almost broke my shoulder my first time trying to ride her” he said and she crossed her arms slightly. 

“So how. How do I get up there?” She asked. He pulled out a step stool, setting it next to the horse and getting up on the third step. 

“I’m giving you a lift. Arms up” he said with a playful smirk. 

“No- no way- Carmen that’s too high. You’ll drop me!!” She took a step back, feeling slightly nervous. 

“I won’t because I’ll bribe her Syd. C’mere” he pulled a pack of peep marshmallows out of his pocket and the horse nearly starts dancing. 

“Carm- what the fuck is happening?” She asked and Carmy chuckled. 

“Bow. Cmon Syd wants t’ride. Bow and you’ll get y’treat star.” He told the horse. 

It obediently bowed down and before Syd could process what was happening, Carm was scooping her up beneath her arms Syd squealed in surprise. “Oh my GOD WHY ARE YOU PICKING ME UP!” She shrieked, wiggling in his arms. 

“open y’legs! Cmon! she’s gonna get up!!!” Carmen laughed holding her up higher. Syd finally obeyed and he gently plopped her on the first saddle. “Good girl” he told the horse, feeding her the marshmallow and putting the packet in his pocket again before swiftly getting on behind Syd. 

“Alright. Hard part done.” He reached around her waist, and she lifted her arms slightly. 

“What- can you tell me what’s going on? I’m a horse virgin!” She said, and they both went quiet for a moment, before cracking up laughing. Syd leaned to her left slightly as she tried catching her breath, grabbing the rein for stability and tugging. 

Star took off sprinting, Syd screamed in surprise, her body going tight with fear. Carmen quickly wrapped his arms around Syds waist protectively, tugging on the reigns “WOOOOAH!” He called to Star and she quickly came to a stop. 

“Stand.” He told the horse firmly. 

“What the fuck Carm I thought she was trained!” Syd exclaimed, gripping onto his forearms for dear life. 

“I gotchu, you think I’d let her kick you off?” He tightened his arms around her. Carmen swore his heart was thumping so hard that she felt it on her shoulder blade. 

“Also when she moves it’s hard to keep still.” She said nervously. 

“Don’t worry, I gotchu, Syd. Lean into me, if our weight is centered then it’ll be easier for all 3 of us” he gently pushed at her stomach. 

She leaned back into his broad chest, “see” he said softly. He was lucky the angle didn’t allow for her to see him, because his face was bright red, And having her body pressed against his…was making him flush somewhere else too. 

He clicked his tongue and Stardust started walking again, at an easy comfortable trot. “This…is ok.” She said, much more comfortable now. 

“I’m gonna take you t’one of my favorite spots.” He said, pulling on the reins to the left lightly so she would follow the left trail. 

“Wow, already sharing secret spots huh? I think this therapist may just be Doctor of the year I don’t even think I’ve seen your favorite Chicago spots” she teased. 

Carm laughed a bit, he felt so much lighter with Syd around. And life had been lighter ever since he got here. 

“How is…uh- how is it back home?” He cleared his throat lightly. It was something that had being weighing on him. Yes, he was here, he was doing the thing. He was making Sugar happy. He was making Syd happy…but he would go back, at some point. 

And his biggest fear was things will just go right back. He won’t have this outlet, he won’t have sunset rides with Stardust to ease his mind. He won’t have the cows happily running up to him and greeting him when he was the first one to bring out a bale of hay. He felt like if he was here, he may have the confidence to tell Syd how he feels. But back home? It was another life. 

“Fine..things are..y’know. The usual shit. But nothing bad, no one’s getting locked in any freezers if that’s what you mean” she said playfully. 

Carm rolled his eyes with a light smile. “Mmhmm. So the restaurant is-“ 

“Is fine.” She said. “I’d have told you. You know that.” She said and he nodded a bit. 

“I know she scared you back there…but it’s pretty fun to go fast. You wanna try?” He asked. 

She shifted a bit uncomfortably, her hands tightening around his arms that were holding the reins around her waist. “Uhh…maybe? Are you sure we won’t fall off?” She questioned. 

“I’m sure. Here you can be the one to control it. Start light ok? With your legs.” He gently ran his hands down her thighs to right below her knees “here” he said softly, squeezing the flesh gently so she wouldn’t have to lean and look. “With that part of your legs, give her a little squeeze. But really light, or we’ll take out of here like a bat out of hell” he held around her waist again, securely holding the reins. 

“Mmhmm” she said, she was beginning to feel hot- and not because she’d done any hard work in regards to getting the horse ready. 

“Alright. Whenever you’re ready, you’re the boss” he said the last part softly in her ear. If it wasn’t for her jacket, he would see the goosebumps that had risen on her arms. She nodded quickly, staring straight ahead and trying to maintain her composure. 

“So I just?” She squeezed gently and the horse picks up her speed slightly. “Oh…ok” she said. 

“Told y’she was trained” Carmy teased and she rolls her eyes. 

“Mmm you’ve done a very good job, bribing this horse with peeps. The staff know you do this?” She asked. Carmy snorted a laugh

“No. But she’s healthy. Made sure. She only gets one or 2 if she doesn’t listen.” He admitted. 

She shook her head with a smile. “And how’d you find this out, Carm?” She leaned into him once more. 

“I…” he laughed a bit, his chest vibrating with the movement and it made her heart warm. 

“I uh…spent a few days in the library here. Reading up. After she threw me off. It’s all about trust with em. So I never lied to ‘er and I’ve never done something she didn’t expect because I always try to warn her.” He said, pulling her reigns a bit tighter. 

“This is like a joyride Syd cmon, I said fast not an evening stroll.” He teased. 

“Fine. Mister horse master- show me what Miss Stardust can do.” She said. 

With 2 kisses and a quick tap of his heel, they were off like a rocket. He held Syd steady, being sure she wouldn’t have to do most the work of holding herself center as he gripped each reign with the opposite hand, holding them taught so Star knew to keep going. 

Syd laughed, the wind flicking her dark curls all around. He wished she could see her amused expression. “Holy shit this is the best!” She shouted over the loud thuds of Stars hoofbeats. 

“I know right! Can you believe she can go faster?” He said, holding his knees taut around her hips to keep her from sliding. 

“Okay we are not! This is fine!” She said and sat up a bit “are we going into the-” She asks as Star begins to barrel through a creek, the freezing water spraying up and around them getting them slightly wet, the freezing water splashing from their calves up to their cheeks.. “CARMY!” She screams through laughter. 

He could barely catch his breath as he laughed so hard his stomach and ribs ached. “I’m sorry!! Syd! Oh god-“ he chuckled “woah girl- woah” he called to the course and she slowed down once again to a stop. 

“Fuck-“ Carmen chuckled “you okay?” He asked, picking a wet leaf from her jacket and throwing it to the forest floor. 

“Yeah- I’m.. I’m fine. That was really fun actually. C’mon I wanna see the spot” she said and took it upon herself to tug the reins so Star would take off again

“Shi-it!” He quickly finds his balance, “warn me!! Oh god I almost flew off!!” He told her. 

“You think I’d let her throw you off?” She mimics him from earlier and he takes the chance to playfully pinch her waist 

“Yes because who’s in back and who’s in front?” He wrapped his arms around her again, taking the reins from her grasp. “Your reign privileges have been revoked for this riding lesson, Ms.Adamu”  

She laughed a bit “I’ll earn them back. Don’t worry” she mused. 

“Mmm we need to talk about more shit before I just literally hand the reins over. Coulda spooked her and we’d be fuckin dead.” he angled the outside reigns so she’d slow down as they came to the clearing. 

“Here we are” he hopped off, raising his arms to help her down. 

She carefully reached out for him and he lifted her off, gently setting her down. “Holy fuck Carmy” she turned around, watching the waterfall cascade down over the rocks. 

“Right! Told you. It’s a fire spot” he went over to one of the rocks he usually sat at, plopping down and taking out a cigarette. “Oh- shit- can’t have y’running off” he told Stardust and chuckled, leaving the cigarette between his lips as he walked over to her, guiding her over to the tree, and hooking her right rein around a branch before sitting back down. 

“Yeah…I can’t remember the last time I went somewhere so…” she trailed off, looking at all the trees and running water. 

“Green?” Carmy lit his cigarette, taking a drag. “Not packed with smog? Somewhere that doesn’t smell like shit.” He said as he exhaled. 

“…yeah” she said and laughed a bit. “Yeah. Guess that’s it.” She came and sat next to him. “What did you mean about her getting scared?” She asked curiously. 

“Oh- a scared horse will fucking kill you. Not on purpose, but they’re big and pure muscle, and will do anything to get away from danger. I scared the shit out of her one time, that was it. Dislocated my shoulder 8th day here. Doing that hurts like a bitch by the way.” He rolled his shoulder gently. 

“How’d you manage that? God I knew you were shit at chatting up girls but she dislocated your shoulder?” She teased. 

He rolled his eyes with a playful smile, taking another drag. “Yes, I was fuckin around on the trail, dunno why- but there was this branch sticking out so I grabbed it, it snapped, she fuckin reeeared dude. I flew back so hard. My back might still be bruised I’m not sure. Still hurts a little to laugh” he said. 

“You better have seen a doctor” she said. 

“Ohhh silly Syd.” He sighed, a puff of smoke filling the air in front of him. “We aren’t allowed to refuse treatment here. If you get hurt, and you refuse to get help, it’s considered self harm, which leads to them believing you have suicidal ideation, which leads to you being locked in the actual nuthouse. So yes. I willingly went to the doctor daily for a week. And now, I’m being checked on once a week. So yeah. Oh and therapy daily. And every day I’m given my meds and someone checks over ‘pre-existing injuries’ which that is now considered. So yeah. I’m good. I’m fuckin fine as fine can be.” He said. 

“Awww poor little chef, being taken care of so well that’s so hard isn’t it?” She teased and he gives her a playful glare, but couldn’t help but crack a smile when he realized she was smiling too. 

“I was being taken care of fine at home by myself but you and my sister just had to ship me off after one tiny accident” he leaned back on his hand, taking another drag of his cigarette. 

“It stops becoming an accident when you didn’t care, Carm. You didn’t care. It didn’t phase you. You weren’t even…you weren’t even scared. Just because you didn’t do it on purpose doesn’t mean you did the sane thing which would have been doing everything you could to not let something like that happen.” She said, her tone suddenly serious. 

He looked down at his lap, swallowing thickly. He suddenly felt all of the armor he’d spent the last 31 days chipping at, slowly start to meld back together and shell him back in at the shame the whole situation was making him feel. 

“I have nightmares…you know. About it. What happened” she said quietly, and he could physically feel his heart ripping open. 

The only sound between them was the bubbling stream, and the sounds of their even breaths. 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, gaze fixed on his lap knowing he would burst into tears at the admission she’d been so deeply plagued by something he’d done, if he had looked at her.

“I know” was all she said, gently resting her hand on top of his. He felt the same fireworks exploding in his chest that he only ever felt when she was around. 

“Do you um…” he clears his throat and shook his head, embarrassed by the question plaguing his mind. “Never mind it’s..it’s stupid.” He removed his hand, putting his cigarette in it and resting the hand opposite of her on the rock. 

“That usually means it’s not stupid. What?” She coaxed, bumping his knee with hers gently. 

“It’s stupid” he said again, shrugging his shoulders. 

“It can’t be stupider then asking me what UPS means” She said playfully. He rolled his eyes, smiling and looking over at her. 

“And what if it is?” He questioned. 

“I would be..worried they’re giving you a bad concoction of meds that’s turning your glorious chef brain in to Swiss cheese” she teased 

He snorts a laugh. “I was gonna ask..if you wanted to cook..t’night. My cabin…it uh- has a kitchen? I haven’t cooked in a month. They give us food so I haven’t really bothered but…seeing you makes me miss it more, I guess” he blushed, looking back down at his lap. 

“Well obviously. Not gonna let you eat whatever bullshit they’ve been giving you while I’m around.” She said and he shook his head, meeting her gaze once more with a playful smirk. 

“Maybe you should check in. My therapist says it’s bad apparently to feel ‘responsible for others’ - says it’s a ‘subconscious self harming behavior’ “ he teased. 

She smiled a bit. “Okay- say I do. How about, I check in now, we shoot the shit for what- eleven more days- then, you go back home- and see how stressful it is in that restaurant when one of your hands is basically missing” she plucked the cigarette bud he’d forgotten about from between his fingers before it burnt him, flicking it into the creek. 

“You know that’s the first time I’ve seen you smoke- other then…me like checking on you when you were about to explode at work. But you’ve never…pulled one out and smoked it I guess” she said, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her cheek on her forearm as she looked at him. 

“Oh…” he said, pulling one of his legs up and resting his arm on it. “Didn’t realize you noticed” he said, brushing some dirt off his jeans. 

“I notice a lot of stupid shit about you, it’s kinda annoying honestly.” She said without thinking, her eyes widening when she realized and she looked the other way, resting her other cheek on her knee and squeezing her eyes shut. 

Why would you ever say that?! She asked herself internally. 

“Oh?” He said again, smiling a bit. “You do?” He questions, but that was as far as he’d push. 

“Mhm” was all she responded. Carmys phone started buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out in case it was one of the ‘base keepers’ they called them. Carmy rather call them babysitters. He knew what they were for, being sure if they were out of sight too long they were making sure they could still get ahold of them. 

He sighed in relief when he saw it was just his 2:40 alarm. “Gotta go” he stood up, offering his hand to Syd. “Like- now. Or my ass is getting chewed out.” 

The ride back to the cabins was mostly silent. He had no stool this time, so he had to pick up Syd essentially by the ass and gently place her on Stars back so she didn’t get spooked. 

He was embarassed as fuck that the tiny action had the crotch region of his jeans tightening more then was casually explainable. Thank god no one was around to see him awkwardly hop in the way of his semi hard third leg down his left pant leg, grunting but covering it with a dry cough when she settled her ass back into him to ‘center their gravity’ 

Syd absolutely felt the firmness pressing into her ass. She thought it was a bit funny, but also brushed it off to the strange friction that came with riding a horse. She couldn’t allow herself to fully believe his teenage like excitement was due to her, or she’d go insane. 

Carmy dropped Syd off at his cabin, giving her the key and telling her he’d put up Stardust and be back by 5, she would be blushing if it weren’t for her mahogany complexion at the domesticity of it all - er what she could imagine domesticity with Carmy would feel like. 

Her panties were also soaked through from the feeling of his enormous length pressed into the curve of her ass - the entire way back - but she just chalked that up to not getting laid for a few months, and misreading his natural arousal for him being horny- she quickly pushed the thought down and just chalked it up to the horse. Because guys get hard when they ride horses…right? Right?!

Carmen arrived to therapy extremely frustrated, and extremely ready to talk. He sat down in his regular spot in the back, tapping his knee nervously and covering his crotch with his hands. Luckily, thinking about his mother was enough to make him soft nearly instantly so he had that to thank her for at least. 

“Alright guys!” Julienne, the usual Friday therapist came in, sitting in her spot in the circle. “Who is up today! We are-“ she looks at her iPad “oh! Yes this is another OP class, so- no pressure but, I wanna hear what’s goin on!” She crossed her legs. 

Julie was far from his favorite therapist, at Blue Lotus. But he wasn’t his least favorite. So he would still talk. He cleared his throat, raising his hand slightly. 

“Carmy?! What a treat! Okay what’s up” she grabbed her little stylus pencil. He bit the inside of his lip nervously. He despised how casual she tried to make this all feel. 

“Uh…so- my um…business partner, she came to see me. I guess I haven’t been…keeping touch? Enough? She just said she was worried…” he cleared his throat again, gaze fixed on his lap. “And uh…I’m startin’ t’-t’realize stuff?” He sniffled nervously, rubbing his mouth with slightly clammy, nervous hands. 

“She uh..” he chuckled a bit. “She…she just…showed up. Didn’t hear shit from ‘er. She probably knew that I’d uh…I’d tell ‘er no?” He finally meets the gaze of Julie. 

“Okay. You know guests are allowed right? Like- during the visiting hours, 6am to 11pm, no fraternizing between patients but-“ Carmen cuts her off

“We aren’t - no. Not fraternizing” He shook his head. “But uh…today? We were- we were sitting. This spot, near uh, Jupiter point? On the north side. And I had this- this urge T-to tell her…everything.” He shook his head, looking at the floor again. 

“So…you wanted to tell her you love her?” Jesse, one of the guys he’d had lunch with a few times piped up. 

“T’be honest, I don’t know.” Carmen said honestly, looking at him. 

“Well what does it feel like?” Jesse asked, sitting up a bit. 

“What? Like- what does what feel like?” Carmen asked curiously. 

“Her. Being with her. Talking to her? Inside. Like. Your chest. Your skin?” He questioned. 

“Uh…” Carmen sat back, swallowing thickly and crossing his arms over his chest. He thought for a moment. 

“Hot. I get hot. All over. My chest feels tight but - but good? Like- a hug almost. And then…when she…” he blushed, looking down with a shy smile. “When she touches me” he shook his head slightly. “When she touches me it’s like um.. fireworks? Like fireworks beneath my skin.” He chuckled a bit at how cheesy it sounded. 

“And you haven’t fucking nailed her?” Jessie asked plainly. 

Carmen furrowed his brows, glaring at him. “No” he clenched his jaw “I haven’t.” He snips. 

“Dude- you are- pussy whipped with no pussy?! You- you love her, Carmen. You love this chick. I feel like I’m looking in a weird straight mirror - the first time-“ he laughed a bit “the first time I kissed a guy- god. He was so hot. But I had no idea! I had no idea. I really thought that I was just-“ he shook his head “that I was just wanting to befriend him? Or something? But like- I wanted to fuck him. And when I did kiss him? Something unlocked in my brain dude. It was like…like a whole new world. I felt like I knew - I knew what love could feel like? Just ‘cause of that one kiss “ he shrugged. 

Carmen looked at him, arms crossed, trying to absorb everything he was saying even though every fiber of his former self was screaming to take it with nothing more than a grain of salt. 

“Kiss her dude. Kiss her.” Jesse said and sat back in his chair. 

“Well. Although, consensual sexual instances are against the code of conduct to discuss - I am very proud to see you two coming out of your shells. Has anyone else felt… confused in their romantic endeavors and would like to share?” Julie asked. 

Carmen crossed his arms tighter, looking down at his lap. This was quite unusual for him, he was one of the patients to only add what he had to to be credited during inpatient, and during outpatient - only spoke when he really and honestly had to. 

“Uh-“ the super tall girl, Shayna sits up. Carmen was never really sure why she was here. She looked…perfect by all means. Perfect skin, perfect nails, pretty face, long blonde hair, a perfect body by girl standards. Or at least what Carmen had understood of them.

 “Not really the same.. but before I came out? I like…I would uh buy…girl clothes. That I liked. For my girlfriends at the time…” she blushed “and um.. I realized after a while that I liked them. And I wasn’t just..wanting to see my girlfriend in them. And like- it’s not the exact same, but when he said… about how Jesse realized he wanted the guy. That’s how I felt when I finally tried the clothes on” she shrugged. 

Carmen was…aghast. He just simply stared at her. He’d never met- or thought-  he’d ever met a trans person before today. But…Shayna? 

Well- he was wrong because he had met her, they actually knew each other fairly well as far as patients go, she joined the program when he did. When they first met, she’d made a joke about how they were the tallest girl and shortest guy in the class, so that meant they were bound to be friends, since opposites attract - and that earned a chuckle out of him before his meds had even fully evened out. 

“I love the cis-and-confused look- it’s cute” she said and laughed a bit. Carmen blushed, smiling a bit. 

“Not confused- well, maybe. Maybe a little. Y’Just so…dainty? I dunno..” he shrugged. 

“In case you haven’t noticed- mr.little man syndrome- you’re only one out with the cows doing the hay on time in the morning. Ninty percent of the group is your version of dainty ” Jesse teased. 

“Jesse” Julie gives him the look. “I’d assume that means- the rest of you that aren’t out helping with the bales- are scraping out the cow pens? Since Carmen is doing all the hard work according to you.” 

“I’m not girl- fuck no! The second I got out of inpatient house arrest? I walked my happy ass down to Walmart and bought me some blackout curtains. I recommend those to all of you! Oh my god and some ear plugs!! The stupid fucking roosters! Worst 15 days of my lifeee! I’m never coming back here peace and love to you all though. Truly. Can’t stand this cow shit stank ass place.”  Shayna said dramatically, causing Carmen to chuckle a bit.

 He had loved her boldness since they’d met. If Shayna didn’t want to do something- she wasn’t doing it. He learned that the day the staff tried to force her on anti-depressants. One of the main therapists got a Wellbutrin straight to the eye, they never attempted that battle the same way again. 

“We know Shayna you aren’t shoveling scat, princesses don’t do that” Jesse mocked her valley girl tone. 

“Okay! Okay. Alriiiight! Back on track- done with the bickering!” Julie said. “Now that open call is over let’s move on to breakthroughs. This issss-“ she looks at her iPad “ah- yes! D group. So. That makes it-“ he checks her watch “ah- right. 11 days! How are your light tunnel projects going?” She questioned. 

Carmen’s chest tightened, but not in the Syd is smiling or he made Syd laugh way- in the - I haven't done something I was meant to do way. 

The Light Tunnel project wasn’t hard. It was simply one thing you have done that you had wanted to do when you came into the program. And Carmy knew what his answer was, 

Admit how he felt to Sydney. 

Or, as his Therapist- Mandy told him ‘become more truthful with yourself and those you know about how you feel’ because “counting on someone to like him back would put him at square one” he had pretended to understand, but knew that he had to tell her and soon - or he was going to really go insane. 

“ my light tunnel was to talk to my asshole father- but lucky for me I just caught wind the motherfucker finally died thank god. So by default I win and don’t have to be here anymore cause his abandonment was what fucked me up anyhow“ Shayna said jokingly, causing Carm to snort a laugh. He knew she was only joking about the leaving early part, not the father part. Her father was an even bigger piece of shit then Carmen’s was, he had come to learn.

“Mmm that isn’t how it works we know that Shayna. We’ll talk more about this in one to one “ Julie told her and Shayna crossed her long legs, looking out the window. 

The last 20 minutes of the session Carmen sat silently, looking out the opposite window to Shayna, watching the horses running around in the field before they got called in for dinner and just spacing out, thinking about what he may say to Syd. 

“Yo - Carm space cadet” Shayna said before kicking his boot he jumped a bit, looking up at them both and had realized the room since had cleared and Julie was preparing for her next session. 

“Shit.” He said “how long have I been like…like that?” He asked, his cheeks feeling hot. 

“It’s the OCD meds. They get you stuck in a happy thought loop sometimes. Are you just gonna sit here? You wanna do another hour of this with sniveling group a? They got here three days ago.” Jesse said. Carm shook his head, getting up. 

“No- no sorry” he said starting with them outside. Shayna laughed a bit 

“You were thinking of screwing that business partner aren’t you. “ she said, causing Carmys cheeks to go pinker. 

“Shayna shut up!” Jesse scolded, pushing her shoulder lightly. 

“Awwww carmyyy are your feelings hurt little buddy? Do you need a hug? Jesus men are such pussys” she pushed open the doors of the therapy cabin for them. 

“Let me see pictures of this hot chick. If you don’t fuck her I will and I bet I’d do a better job” Shayna teased as they started heading back towards the cabins. 

Carmen couldn’t even process what she said as he felt his breath get caught in his chest, he saw her. She was sitting on the porch of his cabin, criss-cross in one of the rocking chairs as she writes in her notebook. He couldn’t help but stop and stare at the way the setting sun hit her bronze skin, her curls casting intricate patterned shadows on the wood. He felt his heart pick up, his chest squeezing in that way, the way that only happened when he saw her. 

Shayna and Jesse stopped after a few moments when they realized Carm had gotten stuck behind. They both follow his gaze carefully to see what he was so fixed on, like a trance. 

“Holy fuuuck!!! Holy fuck how did I get this lucky!! She’s here? She’s here still?!” Shana asked excitedly, “oh my god- you’re getting laid- tonight” she excitedly skips up to the cabin and Syd looks up, locking eyes with her before seeing Carmen just a few paces behind.  “I’m Shayna! Do you and Carm wanna hang out with us tonight?”

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡

[fandomsheadcannoms]

A Little Help ~ Chapter 1

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

Next Chapter

Fem!Reader x Clay Story: The Putt Putt trolls have all gathered at Troll Village to reunite with their friends and family! Y/N is anxious to reunite with her parents after so many years, but it turns out she might need a little help to find them.

Today was anything but a normal day. We were supposed to be welcoming the lost Pop Trolls back, though I think they call themselves the Putt-Putt Trolls, cute little nickname isn’t it? 

I say that today is anything but normal like I’ve experienced the day already! Which is not true, it’s barely gotten far into the morning, but either way today is not a normal day! So many family members and friends are finally reuniting! That rarely happens!

I want today to be perfect. Queen Poppy has already organised so much for the Putt-Putts, but I can’t help but feel like I haven’t done anything, I have to do something! I have to show that I am a good citizen who cares about all trollkind! Everything needs to go perfectly. I need to be perfect.

I bit at my fingers, I shouldn’t be this nervous. I never feel nervous! I’ve performed in front of crowds of hundreds as a child! I shouldn’t be nervous about this!

“Y/N? Dearie, are you in your room?” Lavender a sweet elderly troll knocked on my bedroom door.

I yelled back, giving her permission to come in. Lavender well and truly lives up to her name, I think her parents took one look at their light purple baby and thought ‘I have the perfect name for her’. Lavender looked after me ever since I was a young trolling, I was assigned to her after the Great Escape. After I lost my parents. I hope I can see them again.

“Don’t fidget, you’ll rip off all the skin on your fingers.” She batted my hands away from my mouth “Don’t spiral,”

“I’m not spiralling” I sat on my hands and sat up straight defensively.

She scoffed “I’ve raised you since you were eight I think I can tell when you spiral, what’s bothering you?”

“I don’t know if they are even alive, that’s all,” I avoided looking straight into her eyes as I spoke, and resisted the urge to shove my hands back into my teeth.

While I couldn’t see it, the look she gave me felt so scrutinising, I couldn’t help but feel like I was locked in an interrogation room with an officer who was convinced I was guilty. “Sure it is,” She sighed “I cannot confirm whether they are actually alive or not, but you have no need to feel so nervous, they’re your parents, and they’re going to be ecstatic to see you,”

“Thanks,” I finally looked up at her a small smile spreading across my face “I appreciate it”

“Don’t thank me,” She waved her hand “I’ll be down at the village square, meet me there and we’ll search for your mom and pops”

She walked away, closing my bedroom door behind her. I took a deep breath and looked at my hands, I couldn’t meet my parents with peeling and bleeding fingers, I needed to get the biting thing under control. It’s not how a perfectly grown-up and mature daughter should be acting.

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First chapter!!!!!!

I’m going to try my best to to make Y/N feel like a genuine person rather than a pick me character haha (and if grammar and spelling is bad, that’s my bad bro, English is unfortunately my first language and I’m not good at it hahahah)

Anyway! I thought trying to find her parents would be a cute concept, it’s been a while since I’ve written a Y/N story and I forgot how much I enjoy writing these fics!

[fear-less]

Taylor Swift song master-list

info: i write fics inspired by Taylor’s songs, i’m planning on making most, if not all, of her songs into fics.

feel free to request for any song:3

——————————————————————————

taylor swift (debut)

tim mcgraw

picture to burn

teardrops on my guitar

a place in this world

cold as you

the outside

tied together with a smile

stay beautiful

should’ve said no

mary’s song - fred weasley x reader

our song

i’m only me when i’m with you

invisble

a perfectly good heart

——————————————————————————

fearless

fearless

fifteen

love story

hey stephen

white horse - sirius black x reader

you belong with me

breathe

tell me why

you’re not sorry

the way i loved you

forever & always

the best day

change

jump then fall - harry potter x reader

untouchable

come in with the rain

superstar

the other side of the door

today was a fairytale

you all over me

mr. perfectly fine

we were happy

that’s when

don’t you

bye bye baby

if this was a movie

——————————————————————————

speak now

mine

sparks fly

back to december

speak now

dear john

mean

the story of us

never grow up

enchanted

better than revenge

innocent

haunted

last kiss

long live

ours

superman

electric touch

when emma falls in love

i can see you

castles crumbling

foolish one

timeless

——————————————————————————

red

state of grace

red

treacherous

i knew you were trouble

all too well

22

i almost do

we are never ever getting back together

stay stay stay

the last time - james potter x reader x regulus black

holy ground

sad beautiful tragic

the lucky one

everything has changed

starlight

begin again

the moment i knew

come back…be here

girl at home

state of grace

better man

nothing new

babe

message in a bottle

i bet you think about me

forever winter

run

the very first night

safe and sound

all too well (10 min ver)

——————————————————————————

1989

welcome to new york

blank space

style

out of the woods

all you had to do was stay

shake it off

i wish you would

bad blood

wildest dreams

how you get the girl

this love

i know places

clean

wonderland

you are in love

new romantics

“slut!”

say don’t go

now that we don’t talk

suburban legends

is it over now?

——————————————————————————

reputation

…ready for it?

end game

i did something bad

don’t blame me

delicate

look what you made me do

so it goes… - draco malfoy x reader

gorgeous

getaway car

king of heart

dancing with our hands tied

dress - harry potter x reader

this is why we can’t have nice things

call it what you want

new year’s day

i don’t wanna live forever

——————————————————————————

lover

i forgot that you existed

cruel summer

lover

the man

the archer

i think he knows

miss americana & the heartbreak prince

paper rings

cornelia street

death by a thousand cuts

london boy

soon you’ll get better

false god - harry potter x reader

you need to calm down

afterglow

me!

it’s nice to have a friend

daylight

all of the girls you’ve loved before - james potter

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folklore

the 1

cardigan

the last great american dynasty

exile

my tears ricochet

mirror ball

seven

august

this is me trying

illicit affairs

invisible string

mad women

epiphany

betty

peace

hoax

the lakes

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evermore

willow

champagne problems

gold rush

‘tis the damn season

tolerate it

no body, no crime

happiness - remus lupin x reader x james potter

dorthea

coney island

ivy

cowboy like me

long story short

closure

evermore

right where you left me

it’s time to go

——————————————————————————

midnights

lavender haze

maroon - fred weasley x reader

anti hero

snow on the beach

you’re on your own, kid

midnight rain

question…?

vigilante shit

bejeweled

labyrinth

karma

sweet nothing

mastermind

the great war

bigger than the whole sky

paris

high infidelity

glitch

would’ve, could’ve, should’ve

dear reader

hits different

you’re losing me

——————————————————————————

the tortured poets department

fortnight

the tortured poets department

my boy only breaks his favorite toys

down bad

so long, london

but daddy i love him

fresh out the slammer

flordia!!!

guilty as sin?

who’s afraid of little old me?

i can fix him (no really i can)

loml

i can do it with a broken heart

the smallest man who ever lived

the alchemy

clara bow

the black dog

imgonnagetyouback

the albatross

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus

how did it end?

so high school

i hate it here

thanK you aImee

i look in peoples windows

the prophecy

cassandra

peter

the bolter

robin

the manuscript

[munson-blurbs]

YOUR ASK SUMMONED ME AND I HAVE SO MANY

Eddie

• he is most definitely a physical touch and gift giving guy

• has a terrible habit of feeding strays at the trailer park

• he makes up little songs about anything he does

• I think he loves kids, the younger trailer park kids gravitate towards him and he treats them kindly

• this man has an irrational love for honey combs but hates Honey Nut Cheerios

• he’s a mediocre cook but tries to make sure Wayne has a warm meal/easy meal to come home too

Eddie Smut

• he’s a very vocal man in bed, whines

• definitely a switch, but has a dominant preference

• he really enjoys spooning while it happens, or doing it while facing the mirror. Especially if you’re a bit self conscious. “Look how fucking gorgeous you are, you drive me wild, the body of a goddess”

Argyle

• this man loves skin to skin contact, he’d climb into your skin if he could

• he smells like lavender and chamomile at all times

• he loves to cook but he’s also terrible at it

• everything is a team job with him, he always has to be involved

• he has cats I just know it. An orange one and a Siamese, who he adores

• I think he grew too fast so he’s got stretch marks all over.

Argyle Smut

• he likes to record your sessions and rewatch them when lonely

• this man loves facials, and eats you out like it’s his last meal and he’s on death row

• he’s most definitely a guy who’s interested in anal, I can feel it in my bones bug! My BONES

Addie LET ME TELL YOU I AM WHIMPERING RN

(I’m gonna focus on the smut because I’m a big ol whore)

Eddie definitely makes his self-conscious partner well-aware of how hot he thinks they are. If someone asks him his religion, he simply says, “I worship [partner’s] pussy.”

And then ARGYLE, hnnnggg. I’m currently 1.1k words into a smut fic I’m writing about him so I am absolutely feral. Especially the headcanon of him rewatching your homemade sex tape to get off.

What if you gave him nude Polaroids and then the next week you found them covered in his dried cum? And you just look at him in disbelief but he’s like, “what did you think I was gonna use them for, scrapbooking?” Then he asks for a live performance.

[honuofhawaii]

So I have a major angst fic idea but it has some holes in it that I will take suggestions on if anyone is interested in making them…

Explicitly IceMav retelling of Top Gun: Maverick set in 2009.

2009 bc extra devastation of Mav having to conceal the extent of his grief as DADT is not yet repealed, it’s before there were even discussions of the possibility of an appeal.

(This idea spawned out of another short fic idea of the Daggers (or a group of them) celebrating the appeal, and them wanting the invite Mav and Bradley or Penny telling them that Mav isn’t in a celebratory mood bc he’s mourning the fact that his partner didn’t live to see the appeal)

Okay so like I said SO MUCH ANGST!

but here’s some of the problems and the not problems with shifting the timeline:

Okay Mav was a Captain by 2006 so 2009 he’s still a Captain everything is good. Less snide remarks about him “only being a Captain” (but like seriously those were pretty ridiculous in the movie, it is really really difficult to rise to captain and being promoted to admiral is like winning an election)

The problem is Ice. By 2009 he at most might have two stars. Probably only one. He even could still be a Captain. But he’s definitely not the COMPACFLT. I don’t plan on creating new characters to fill Cyclone and Warlock’s shoes, but those characters would also be lower rank, but they need to be high enough that they outrank Mav but not so high they dont outrank Ice. (But like is this even important? Can I just have everyone at the ranks they are in the movie and Ice just had a extremely rapid ascent?)

I fully intend to ignore the fact that Penny only bought the Hard Deck three years prior.

My initial plan has been for Sarah to be Ice’s sister, and she’s there with her kids to help take care of him since Mav can’t actually take leave very often to help. I am open to the idea of a lavender marriage, Sarah being aro, or a lesbian. What do you prefer? And if you prefer the lavender marriage idea I’d love to hear your thoughts on why Sarah wants entered it?

Okay back to a real timeline problem. The Sukhoi Su-57 aka the 5th generation fighters that an F-18 Superhornet does not have the technological advantage over (it’s actually at a disadvantage) didn’t have its first flight until 2010. (And I’m guessing first flight, means test flight, not in production or service yet) so what do I use?! MiG-29’s? Or do I say fuck it again this is Top Gun fanfiction the enemy can have jets that were barely even built yet.

I mean I am letting Mav have Darkstar she’s too pretty not to include! Grant I have less qualms about that bc SR-72 does not officially exist in the real world.

I am worrying a lot about the logistics of a fic that I might never even write. But I’m a nerd, apparently a secret aviation nerd (secret as in I didn’t realize it until I started waxing poetically about how pretty Darkstar and the P-51 were and how I love aviation movies and that people should definitely read and watch the Right Stuff and my friend said “wow I didn’t you you were such a slut for planes”)

Hey if any of this rant struck a cord an you want to write it go right ahead, just let me know I want to read it.

[c0smiccl0wn]

A highly self indulgent comfort fic bc I have been anxiety ridden all day.

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, mentions of vomit, mentions of spit, moon sits in the room while you bathe (he’s respectful tho)

Little side note: Moon has nonverbal tendencies in my mind, therefore he does in my writing.

Word count: 785

Worry Not, Dear Friend.

It’s been an all day thing. Anxiety bubbling in your stomach and pounding on your heart to the point of nausea. Nausea that would lead you here, hunched over your toilet and gagging as bile rose in your throat.

Despite the fact that you had been gurgling and willing your body to release its contents to ease the pain in your gut for the past thirty minutes, nothing was filling the empty water of the toilet besides some spit.

A knock on the door made you raise your head from your folded arms and look towards the closed wood.

“Sunspot,” Sun said, voice hesitant, “are you okay? You’ve been in there for a while.”

You suppress a gag to respond to your bright roommate, insisting that you were fine, until a heavy squeeze of anxiety clenched your heart and stomach once more. As you lay with your head hovering above the water, you heard the door creak open.

Finally your throat gave way and you were able to let out the burning bile stinging your insides as you felt your hair be held away from your face with gentle fingers. Sun rubbed your back as you coughed a few times into the toilet before you sat up to close the lid and flush the contents. You then turn to Sun, who held a worried expression on his normally cheerful face.

“You’re not feeling well,” he stated, “are you getting sick? Do I need to get you some medicine or something? You’ll be okay, right?” His eyes flickered between your own as he fiddled with his fingers. You nodded your head with an unconvincing smile and moved to squeeze past him, but he lifted you up instead. “No, no,” he started, “I have an idea!”

The next thing you know, you’re lying in bed with the warm bot curled up behind you with an arm around your waist and a hand against your back.

“What’s wrong, Sunspot? You can tell me whatever’s bouncing around in your pretty little head.” He said gently. You sighed and fidgeted with his fingers around your waist, before emptying your worries and thoughts out into the open. He said nothing while you spoke, only listening while his rays clicked from side to side in a nervous tic. You talked while the sun set outside your window, watching as it slowly disappeared behind the horizon.

Sun leaned forward and in a quiet voice said, “don’t worry, friend. I’ll be here for you through whatever happens.” He paused to let out a chuckle as he turned you around to face him. “I’m sure Moon will tell you the same thing.”

With that, he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on the tender skin below your eye as the light in the room became too little for him to stay.

When the bot leaned back, Moon took the place of Sun. He locked his eyes with yours and let out a small ”tsk” at the red and puffy skin around your eyes. He took your face in his hands and rubbed his thumbs across the apples of your cheeks. He sat up, taking you with him, and carried you to the living room couch.

You were playfully dropped onto the sofa before Moon walked into the kitchen. He returned a few minutes later with a cup of tea and a blanket. He wrapped the blanket around your shoulders and handed you the cup. It smelled of lavender and was pleasantly warm. You had hoped he would stay near you, but he walked away and towards your bathroom, where you soon heard the running of water.

By the time Moon returned you had finished your tea. He motioned for you to follow him to the bathroom. Pleasant steam enveloped you as you stepped through the door. Moon patted your shoulder twice, before turning his back to you. You undressed and climbed into the tub as Moon sat with his back against the side of it. You made small, comfortable conversation with Moon as you washed yourself and soaked in the warm water, Moon responded with a few taps of his fingers against the tub or a couple of hums.

You exited the tub and changed into some comfortable clothes before finding yourself, once again, curled into the arms of the animatronic. Your eyes were heavy as you listened to the quiet music box in Moon’s chest.

You were half asleep when you heard his quiet voice whisper to you. “Sun was right. Always here for you, Stardust.”

With that, Moon placed a soft kiss against the top of your head as sleep pulled you down into a third warm embrace.

[justagalwhowrites]

OHMYGOD OKOKOK SO UM OK IM HERE AGAIN SO I JUST SAW THE NEW YEARLING TEASER AND…it slayed my house down. I was gagged to hell (in the best way possible) and OMG BAMBI LISTENS TO WEEZERRRR???

Girl my friends have been telling me to listen to weezer and modern baseball and shit like that THIS IS A SIGGNNN

(Idk why I’m writing this but I usually listen to Taylor or Summer walker or Lana or sza or Riri my absolute queens ❤️)

also idk if I said this in my last ask but I checked out the playlist and it’s def not my style but it’s good and I really enjoy it. Also I’m really really really loving the story even though me and Bambi are like polar opposites. Like I wish my mom put me in pageants and cotillion and shit and also I wanna date Bambi???? She just gives girlboss vibessss and what can I say I stan. also I know this is long and I’m sorry I’m sorry but also I think this fanfic just unlocked my southern side?? I’m listening to Dolly Parton now and I’m wearing pink sundresses with poofy sleeves like something happened to me

Anyways, ilysm im SOOOO FUCKING HYPED for the update now you SLAYYYY IN ALL WAYS POSSIBLE tysm for writing make sure to take care of urself slay I’ll be there when yearling comes out (also I’m trying to get into ur other fics the premises seem interesting you always manage to come up w a great hook)

Ok I’m sorry this is so long I’ll get out of your hair now byeeeeee

OMG HI BESTIE!

Bambi listens to like… EVERYTHING lol she is a musician at heart and will find something to appreciate and learn from in everything. Also in this chapter, some love for The Smiths and Johnny Marr 😍 (I saw Johnny Marr live about a year ago and it was a revelation, he played This Charming Man and I died, fully died.)

Related, Bambi in a no outbreak AU? Would fucking love Taylor Swift. A woman making a name for herself in the industry, writing her own shit, crossing genres like crazy? Bambi would have been at the Eras tour (maybe as Folklore/Evermore?) Related, I picture Sarah as a Swiftie too and she and Sarah would 110% have gone to the Eras tour together and covered Joel in friendship bracelets and he’d wear a themed shirt and just smile along with it all.

I’m so glad you like Bambi! She’s very different from me too lol being in her head to write her and watching her do her thing is so interesting for me because she’s so different. But she is DEFINITELY a girl boss lol I think she would have had her own ranch in a no-outbreak world and she’d be so damn good at it, always standing up to men in the industry at every opportunity.

Never apologize for a long ask lol I LOVE THEM and I love that this fic is making you explore a new side of yourself!

If you read my other fics, I hope you love them! Please let me know either way lol I think you’d like Doc from lavender. She’s a girl boss but in different ways! And Doll from Beskar Doll is just fully a badass. Din is hesitant to compare kill counts, he knows there’s a good chance he’d lose lol

Thank you so much for being here and for reading and for sharing your thoughts! It means a lot to know that you’re enjoying my work, so thank you 😍 love you bestie!

[heartandfangs]

YOU WISH.

GENRE Roommates AU, Playboy!Jake, Virgin!Reader, Suggestive, A bit of fluff

PAIRING f!Reader x Jake/Jaeyun

WARNINGS 18+ ONLY, Cursing, Flirting, Slow-burn, Morally-grey characters, Sexual tension, Fantasizing, Brief mention of a past blowjob, Teasing, Sub!Jake’s dirty thoughts + Praise kink exposed yet again, MC gets a little physical and aggressive (nothing crazy, promise), University/Adulthood woes, One too many puppy references

WORD COUNT 3.3k

SUMMARY One thing led to another, then suddenly a puppy was following you around in the library during finals week–  it turns out his name is Jake Sim, a flirtatious underclassman who quite possibly could be the quickest answer to your desperate prayers. But there was only one thing to do when he started getting in the way of your study time; let him know that this was your territory.

AUTHOR’S NOTE I wrote this before all the installments of IOU but forgot about it until recently lol. This could be a standalone fic, but it's essentially IOU– Part Zero. I revised it because I think it adds a layer to the story and how MC got into this debacle as Jake’s roommate in the first place. It's fun and offers more telling insight into their first impressions of each other.

I’m in the midst of writing Part 5 and it’s going to be a pretty long chapter so I hope you look forward to reading it soon! I will say Heeseung is in the spotlight a bit more while Jake is down in the dumps for this upcoming chapter and the man has absolutely no chill. So, get your dose of Jekjek here while you can!

As always, like/reblog this fic and leave me some feedback if you enjoyed it and want more. Reading your wild and sweet comments is honestly my favorite part next to writing. 🤍⚰️

TAGLIST @fan-zhan, @burningsunsun, @kazuhugs, @skzenhalove, @axartia, @stbwe, @duolingofanaccount, @writingmochi

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3,Part 4, Masterlist

© 2022, Heart and Fangs. All rights reserved. Do not translate or post anywhere.

A text notification sounded from your pocket– it was from your potential roommate and little did you know how dreadful it would be to read.

'___, I'm so sorry, but my plans have changed, as I'm taking a job offer out of town. I can't move in with you anymore. So sorry for the insanely late heads up, but I do wish you the best of luck– and belated congratulations on graduating!'

"Shit, shit– shit!"

Unable to even think about where you'd be living after graduation with finals on your mind, you pocketed your phone and ran an aggravated hand through your hair. Nothing irked you more than when people went back on their word, especially last minute; this was not helping your rising stress levels.

Jesus, feel free to take the wheel any moment now–

The library elevator doors binged on a floor that wasn't your stop; you exhaled heavily, tapping your foot impatiently.

Your bloodshot eyes darted to the boy revealed behind the elevator doors. Immediately you noticed his figure– he was several inches taller than you, lean, and had dark brown hair. Handsome. The student was dressed in a plaid shirt over a casual tee paired with denim jeans and sneakers. He probably belonged to a fraternity, but that was just a stereotypical guess.

You locked eyes with him for a split second and noticed his brows raise in interest ever so slightly, causing you to hastily shift your gaze elsewhere. You settled on staring at the button that lit up to indicate your destination was the top floor.

You noticed him stand up a little straighter out of the corner of your eye as he faced the closing steel doors. The young man's cologne suddenly filled the enclosed space, triggering your keen senses. To your delight, he smelled of warm amber and subtle lavender. Pleasant yet unexpected.

The student made no move to choose a different floor, and you pretended not to notice. He cleared his throat suddenly, earning a confused look from you. 

"Here to study?" The boy smiled at you, and you didn't miss the lilt in his voice, his Australian accent nearly throwing you off. 

"Yeah, like everybody else," You replied indifferently. 

His smile left as quickly as he gave it; he glanced down at his shoes. Your curt answer seemingly deterred him from continuing the conversation with you.

Shoot. Well, you couldn't help it.

Finals week had you tense and single-minded at the moment. Pleasantries and small talk weren't your forte in the first place.

Honestly, you just hoped that you'd come across an available seat for you to hunker down in and get shit done. However, the ride up the elevator was slower than usual, and you couldn't shake off the bit of guilt in your chest. 

The elevator opened to the top level of the library, and the boy allowed you to step out first. The two of you parted ways in search of a cubicle.

It was clear that after you made several rounds circling the floor like a hawk, every seat on the floor was taken. 

The highest floor of the library was the most ideal study spot as it was the one with the best thermostat setting, the best wifi, and the quietest environment. It was your go-to spot all semester long, and you were annoyed that the entirety of the student body suddenly piled in during finals week.

Where was everyone else while you spent time between class periods and evenings sifting through the aisles of books and hogging a study room all to yourself? It was hardly fair, but you accepted your defeat.

After a hot minute, you were back where you started, leaning against the wall in the lobby facing the set of elevators. What a nightmarish process– you'd have to try your luck on another floor.

Apparently, someone else had met the same fate as you.

You watched the student who rode the elevator with you shuffle back into the lobby, looking as hopeless as you felt. However, his expression brightened considerably upon noticing you staring at him.

Ah, shit.

You shifted your weight into your other leg as he made a beeline your way. 

"No luck staking down a spot either?" He asked from a polite distance with his hands slipped into his pockets.

Despite that, his warm scent enveloped you again, and you inhaled slightly, trying not to be obvious. You suddenly wondered if you smelled weird— did you smell weird? 

"No," you tried to inject a little more emotion into your voice, even if you just sounded disappointed, "Everything was taken, unfortunately."

"Wanna try the third floor with me? It's one of the less popular floors, but it usually has a decent amount of tables and cubicles," He asked, catching you off guard.

"Um…"

Would he end up trying to chat with you the entire time if you two did manage to find a spot to study? You supposed you were willing to take your chances to find a place asap.

After all, your photography final was in three hours, and you didn't have any more time to waste since you had put off studying for the elective in favor of your core classes.

Momentarily you regarded the boy who gave you a hopeful look, in the exact way a puppy might when they want to tag along on an errand run.

Such creatures were your ultimate weakness, right next to any offer that involved ‘food’ or ‘free’. 

"...Sure," You agreed with a sigh. 

"Alright! Let's go." You noted his eyes shone when he smiled.

Hoping you'd find better luck on the third floor, once you exited the elevators, you led the way, weaving between the aisles of books to check for open cubicles near the walls.

The boy you'd just met was in close tow behind you; not close enough to touch, obviously, but a lot closer than you'd expect someone to be when you hardly knew each other.

Maybe he just felt more comfortable around you after you agreed to join forces under the name of studying.

Upon emerging from an aisle of shelves, your eyes zoned in on a single free cubicle and chair in the corner of the room.

A wish come true!

Slowly, you glanced back at Jake to gauge his reaction. His mouth formed a silent "ah" before stopping in his tracks. Other students were in the vicinity, their noses buried in textbooks and laptops, a terrible tension suffocating the air.

"You can take it," you quickly whispered, surprised at your sudden generosity.

He merely smirked back and motioned you ahead with his hand, "Go ahead, you saw it first."

You tried to hide your amusement and insisted he take it, wanting to make up for your lack of friendliness during your first interaction in the elevator. If you two found a spot this quickly, there might be a chance you'd find another just as soon, right?

While you waited for his response, he merely looked around at his surroundings, seemingly contemplative, until his gaze settled back on you.

"Shall we keep looking?" He boldly suggested.

This time your brows raised in surprise, lips parting as a response was slow to form in your mind.

Jake's dark eyes bore into you, rooting you to your spot while all you heard was clicking keyboards and the shuffling of papers. The implication of his suggestion dawned on you. 

Did you want to continue to keep each other company? 

You really hadn't experienced much social interaction with that many people this semester, except with the friendly Dance major you'd settle in next to during your photography class. Which, by the way, was coming up hot on your schedule. 

Now really wasn't the time, and yet...

"Okay," You said, sealing your fate.

Wait, what?

You were unable to believe your own words.

Jake had watched you all the while and chuckled, extremely pleased at your response. This time, he guided you down the walkway, passing behind the rows of busy students back into the shelf aisles.

"What's your name?"

Jake slowed his pace to walk side-by-side with you, causing you to nearly brush arms to squeeze by the narrow walkways. You realized that you two hadn't exchanged the most basic information yet.

"___," You shared.

He was all smiles as he repeated it as enthusiastically as he could in a library setting, "I'm Jake."

It seemed his voice could be a bit deep at times; it was interesting hearing him whisper your name. 

"Nice to meet you… Jake." You tried his name out, and he nodded. "What's your major?"

"I'm a Business major, minoring in Marketing."

"Oh wow, you must have a lot to study for," You pondered.

"Yeah, a bit. I graduate in a year, so I have to keep it up for a little while longer."

Jake must be finishing up as a Junior then. You didn't expect that with his build, although it's tough to tell someone's age and class year these days with everyone having different paths in life. You wondered if he was an athlete on top of everything else education-wise. 

"I see."

The fact that you were graduating so soon was scary, but you were planning to play it safe for a while and rack up experience at your internship before making any big moves.

"You gotta work hard and play hard, you know?"

Although you imagined you two had different definitions for the latter term, you nodded.

The two of you suddenly came across a set of empty individual cubicles simultaneously, side by side.

"I think those are reserved for us," Jake nudged your arm with his elbow. You glanced up at him and met his friendly eyes once again. 

"Lucky us," You proceeded to take the seat to the left of the other one. 

Jake slung off his backpack onto the other table and leaned over your partition to speak to you. You eyed him in curiosity from your seat as you shimmied your laptop out of your bag. 

Settling his arms on top of the wooden divider of your cubicle, Jake suddenly dropped his half-lidded gaze to your lips, then back up to your wide eyes.

All the while, his grin never disappeared as he watched you freeze in your chair, undeterred.

Did he just—?

"Mind watching my stuff for me for a sec?" 

His voice had gotten lower again too. You nodded dumbly. 

"Thanks," he smiled at you before walking off to the lobby. 

Oh. You knew that look, but you've never really been on the receiving end of one that intense.

It made you feel pinned to the spot like you were being cornered or coerced… into what exactly? Unable to expend energy on what was going on, you decided to stand your ground regardless of what might happen. One couldn't afford to waste any more time in this scenario, so you tried to shrug it off and busy yourself with studying. 

Within a minute, your study station was set up, laptop, notebooks, and all. Facts about appropriate aperture and ISO settings in correlation with various weathers filled your mind as you crammed for your photography final, not without great effort. At some point, Jake returned and settled into his cubicle.

He left you alone, for a good while at least. 

You were pulled out of your deep thoughts upon noticing Jake's chair pull up by your side.

"How goes it?" He whispered.

"Fine… it's a little tedious of final to study for," You admitted. Who knew one would have to study so much content for a class like photography.

"You seem like a smart girl, so I'm sure you'll ace it. Want me to quiz you?"

"I… sure?"

Jake adjusted his chair to face you and leaned back in it, taking your study packet in hand. Letting his legs spread open comfortably, Jake's fingers innocently played with the stitched seam of his jeans along his inner thigh. At the same time, he rattled off some questions, inevitably attracting your attention to his lower half.

Jake watched you shift in your chair as you tried your damnedest to look elsewhere while answering his questions accurately.

In the meantime, Jake slyly took in the details of your appearance over the edge of your worksheets. He appreciated the way those tight black leggings of yours, paired with that little cropped sweater displayed the curves of your body in a way that had him undressing you in his mind, only guessing at what color panties you wore beneath it all.

He shamelessly dragged his eyes over the swell of your chest, the tips of your nipples peeking through the sweater fabric. He was glad that the library A/C was blasting even on the third floor and that you'd chosen to forgo wearing a bra. 

"Hey. Eyes up here, kid," You warned, snapping your fingers. 

Jake licked his lips, quickly meeting your scrutinizing gaze. "Sorry." 

"For some reason, I don't believe that." You moved to pluck your worksheet out of his grasp, but he kept it out of reach. 

"Sorry, I'll do it properly—! "

You lowered your head and shoved him down too. 

"Whisper, dummy!"

The way your fingers threaded through Jake's hair, albeit a bit roughly, sent wonderful sparks down his spine. He rubbed his thighs together, breath shuddering. 

"Sorry, you're just really—"

Suddenly he was being dragged out of his seat into a nearby aisle of books, further away from the students trying to focus on their studies.

You swung Jake around, his back hitting a tall shelf of books with a thump. 

Crossing your arms, you glared up at him. "Jake, stop apologizing and quiz me; I don't have time to waste. Now sit."

Jake slid down the shelf of books until he hit the floor, clutching onto your notes. His wide eyes peered up at you– and you kicked yourself for thinking he looked adorable.

You had your literal finals to study for, and it was his suggestion to help you in the first place.

You slunk down in front of him and crossed your legs, leaning against the opposite shelf. 

"Start from the top."

Jake nodded and obediently quizzed you with more focus and enthusiasm under your watch. He was impressed that you nailed every question, yet far from surprised.

You would check your watch every so often, making Jake realize his time spent with you was limited. He had to act fast. 

Once you answered the last question, you stretched your hands towards the ceiling, satisfied with your performance.

"Nice job, ___. Guaranteed A+ for sure," He stared at you, nibbling on his bottom lip, clearly wanting to please. 

You tilted your head curiously. "So, you can be a good boy."

This guy is kind of like a moody puppy. Kind of like… Stitch?

You held back a snort at the comparison your brain made, but Jake clearly had a similar mischievous side to him if he thought he was being slick while checking you out.

Jake nearly panicked while receiving your praise, trying to refrain from twitching as you ran a hand over his dark fringe to pat his head. The simple gesture felt so nice, somehow even nicer than the blowjob he had just gotten back in the business building earlier that morning. 

Unable to fight the flush of heat rising up his cheeks, he brought his knees closer to his chest; his jeans had grown uncomfortably tight. Why was he getting so worked up by just a few light touches from a girl he'd just met?

…

Who was Jake kidding? He'd been struggling to control his urges since he first laid eyes on you in the elevator.

"You should know, it’s not easy to make me like this," Jake couldn't help but reveal.

"Clearly," You chuckled quietly at his sulky expression, assuming he was referring to his compliant attitude.

Jake's face lit up at your laugh, even if it was at his own expense. His leg stretched out across the carpet to bump against yours, and that drew your attention, your amused smile lingering. 

He took a deep breath, "I'm just going to throw this out there. My lease is up at the end of this semester, and my dorm sucks. I'm looking at this apartment on the outskirts of campus because fuck my dorm RA and everyone else in it. I want a place downtown where all the nightlife is… and I'm also in the market for a roommate."

Your ears perked up. "Really?"

Jake's brows rose in anticipation of your interest. 

"Huh, tell me more—"

"Shhh!" A random student's voice scolded from nearby.

Several heads nearby whipped in your direction, and you ducked your head in apology, not realizing you raised your voice.

Jake giggled and scooted closer to you, lowering his tone of voice to a murmur. He spread his hand flat against the floor near your leg.

"Here's the deal, ___. I'm only expecting my roommate to pay a quarter of rent; I'll be covering the rest."

"Why the hell is that?" You asked, genuinely shocked at the offer.

Jake looped his finger through your shoelace, tugging at it slightly. "…I like to have people over often, so I'm not the quietest roommate, but I'll stay out of your way."

You weren't exactly sure what that meant, but you skipped pressing the matter, still aghast at what his proposition could mean for you. "That's an insane offer, dude. No bullshit?"

"Nope. Do you wanna go down there and look at the place with me Friday evening?"

You nodded, but as he took out his phone to exchange numbers, you grabbed his wrist, startling him. Jake swallowed thickly at your proximity, anticipating your following words.

"You're not trying to lure me out to a weird place to murder me, are you, Jake?"

Jake's throat nearly seized before answering.

Christ, she's a cautious one, isn't she?

"Nah, of course not," He joked, "I'm not diabolical enough to execute a big, sticky ordeal like that. Besides, you don't seem like the sort of person I'd want to cross—"

— Too much, at least.

Secretly, deep down, Jake quite liked how assertive you could get when he acted out. Interacting with you was, by his definition, fun.

You smirked, "Very good answer."

Every inch of his skin that your hand covered was set alight. The moment you pulled back, Jake wished you hadn't let go but instead chose to run your fingers up his arm and through his hair again, praising him for saying the right answer, for being such a good boy. 

He knew you two had just met and that he was insane for thinking this— but why could he imagine countless scenarios involving all the restaurants the two of you could share a meal at, all the late-night movies to catch with you, amongst the limitless ways to make you moan his name in pleasure?

Such weird thoughts to have… except for the latter. 

As you stood up, Jake flexed his tingling hand.

You snatched your worksheet back but offered your free hand to him, "I guess I owe you one."

Maybe you did, but Jake wanted nothing more than to pull you back down on him and take your stress away, however you'd like him to.

Even if it involved you pushing him up against any sort of solid surface again, especially if it meant letting him play with your lovely tits in his mouth while you got yourself off by grinding down on his aching bulge.

He didn't mind that you were a high-strung individual– couldn't even blame you, what with all the stressful energy permeating the entire campus– that just made the thought of breaking you down all the sweeter.

Fuck.

He mentally soothed himself, feeling dizzy.

Calm down, Jaeyun, calm down, calm down…

He was in dire need of developing self-control; it could complicate things. 

"If it ends up working out for your situation, then let's be roommates," Jake replied instead, slipping his hand into yours as you hauled him to his feet with a strength he wouldn't have guessed you had.

Stars tinged the edge of his vision while he focused on your bare facial features. 

Beautiful.

"And if not?" You asked.

"I just might request that you reserve us a private study room—"

You lightly shoved at his chest, rolling your eyes while he grinned at you. 

"You wish, Jake."

[lou-lj]

Who are you?

A/N: I just finished watching season 4 of stranger Things and I loved every second! So I decided to write for my favorite girl.

*this fic doesn’t contain any spoilers for season 4*

(this is the first writing of mine I published so please leave a comment or like idk just nervous)

Robin Buckley x fem reader

Summary: Your new in town and just got a job at Family Video where you’re about to meet a special someone ;)

Hawkins, a little town in India. You knew about the mysterious rumors about monsters and other strange happenings, but your father got a new job there so who were you to complain?

Yes moving there in the middle of senior year was annoying and so was leaving behind your friends. But you’d just saw it as a fresh start.

Being naturally good in school and not visiting any clubs, you had a lot of free time on your hands. So you thought why not do something useful?

After a short research you decided to try your luck in the small video store a few streets away from your new apartment.

A little bell rang as you stepped inside the store, it wasn’t much going on, just one other customer in an aisle for horror movies was there. A girl standing behind the counter talking to a boy and laughing. “Hey, how can I help you? Looking for something specific?” The boy asked while doing so he smiled charmingly at you. A little surprised you looked away from the girl which you now noticed you were staring at. “Ah sorry I was looking for some kind of manager.” He looked surprised but didn’t break his smile, as if he had trained it for hours. “Steve don’t creep her out you idiot, sorry for him. Our manager is in the back, I’ll get him for you.” You laughed at her comment and thanked her.

“Ok name your three favorite movies.” That was it? His only request for employing you was to name movies? “The Godfather, Top Gun and The Apartment.” And just like that you were hired.

It’s the next day and your first shift started at 5pm. The girl from yesterday was there too. Now you had the chance to look at here more precisely. You noticed the freckles that were spread randomly all over her face and how her dark blonde bangs were falling in front of her eyes. “Oh hey your here!” She gave you a warm smile “I’m Robin by the way.” You analyzed her face, as she was continuing to talk, noticing her dark lashes and blue eyes, which were now staring at you. “Yeah cool, I’m Y/n.” You heard yourself answer. She grinned and placed a pile of VHS in your arms and pointed at the romance aisle. “Just sort them in alphabetical order, if you have any questions, I’m right here.” Nodding you went in the direction and started to work.

After a few minutes Robin came back to me “Hey how’s everything going?” “Fine I’m almost finished.” She smiled in reaction to that. “You know, I’m a very talkative person and normally I work with my friend Steve, but I didn’t want you to get scared away by him so I thought ‘hey let’s see who this new girl is’ so tell me about yourself!” You laughed and thought about what you could tell her “Well I just moved here like two weeks ago with my father, I like plants, books and movies, I’m in senior year and I love Lavender. Also I really like that tie, it fits you.” A light blush reached her cheeks which she nervously laughed away. The rest of your shift Robin gave you a quick guide for living in Hawkins, where the best spots and Restaurants where, which people to avoid and who is fun to be around.

As your shift ended you got your jacket and before exiting you called out for Robin “Let’s go to one of those restaurant’s you mentioned earlier, after our next shift together on Friday!” Stuttering she answered “What? Ah yes that would be great, amazing, I mean yeah totally!”

[usmsgutterson]

All right! This post is something that’s been a long time in the making. I hit 500 followers early last month, and I’ve been trying to figure out a cool way to celebrate ever since. 

This is what I came up with! Requests for this are open until the 29th and will probably start coming out at the beginning of next week, with the latest I can think that the first one would come out being around next wednesday. 

The characters to whom this applies are the same as usual! Nikolai, Alina, Mal, and Zoya as far as Shadow and Bone goes, and Kaz, Inej, Jesper, Nina and Matthias as far as Six of Crows is concerned. Pin Hawthorne of Free Rein is included in this as well, as he always is. As for characters that I don’t normally attach to my events, we have Aaron Warner and Kenji Kishimoto from the Shatter Me series!

CONCERT LINEUP

TAYLOR SWIFT

invisible string- pick a verse, bridge, or chorus from any taylor swift song. Provide a character, and I’ll write a mini-song fic/blurb with each paragraph based off of each lyric sent in. Multiple verses, bridges or choruses can be sent in but to keep the fics relatively short, I ask that, per request, you don’t send in more than three. 

paper rings- weddings!! give me a character. a rough word count (10k is the most I’m willing to write, but if you want the fic to be a longer one, specifics are heavily recommended) and where you would want to get married if you were to get married! You can also tell me if you want it to be next level angst or to have the fluff scale turned up to eleven. Provide whatever specifics you want, and along with the fic, you’ll get a moodboard! You can mention if you want the moodboard to replace whatever gif I use as a fic header, but if you want it at the bottom of the fic and for me to include the gif anyway, just let me know!

lavender haze- AUS! You can pretty much pick any AU or combination of AUs that you want, be it a royalty au combined with your selection of the thousands of soulmate aus that people have come up with or a modern au with a coffeeshop au thrown in there! Anything is fair game, as long as you provide me with a character and whatever other specifics you can think to include. I’ll write three thousand words for this one, so again, the more specifics, the better!

long story short- all right! This one will be a fic set like, 5-10 years in the future! Flashback scenes can be included if you want them to be but if not, the past that got the characters to where they are will be discussed a bit through internal monologuing. This one is pretty much just up to the requester. The plot is your choice, the character is your choice, even the genre is your choice. everything is up to you and for the third time, the more specifics you add, the better!

message in a bottle- ships and moodboards! send in a brief description of yourself, your gender and fandom pref, and an activity you think would make a fun date night, and I’ll ship you with someone! 

CONAN GRAY

lookalike- this is the hurt/comfort freebie! give me a character, a hurt/comfort prompt or idea of your choosing, and a word count (for this one, the max I’ll write is 5k) 

fight or flight- headcanon freebie! Give me an idea you have that you want me to write headcanons for

the cut that always bleeds- this is the conan gray version of the invisible string prompt. Give me a verse, bridge, or chorus of any of conans songs and I’ll write an angst fic using that, with one paragraph for every lyric in each stanza. In the interest of keeping these fics short, I ask that you only send three stanzas per request

the story- long fics! These ones can take place at random points throughout different years in the characters lives, and they can follow pretty much any plotline! Want me to write a slowburn that runs across a decade or two? want me to show how the characters lives would progress throughout the run of five years or maybe a relationship a year before it begins, as it develops, and a year after something like a proposal or marriage? Theres a lot of potential for plots here, it’s entirely up to the requester! These fics tend to run a bit longer and the shortest I could see myself making one is 5k, with a max word count of 15k, so be mindful that these will likely run a bit on the longer side and thus, take me a bit more time to complete

grow- songs and moodboards! for this one, just drop this prompt into my inbox and tell me that it’s from this event, and I’ll make a moodboard based on how I percieve you/your aesthetic, or I’ll give you a list of like, ten songs that remind of me of you or that I think you would probably enjoy! (moots only) 

PHOEBE BRIDGERS

funeral- this one is the MCD freebie. Drop this one into my inbox if you want me to write some angst involving the death of a character of your choice

killer- this is AU’s but with an angsty twist of your choosing! Soulmate AU’s with near-death experiences, right person right time but with an unexpected twist that throws things off completely? Pick and AU and an angst trope and give me a character for this one. 

moon song- phoebe bridgers version of the invisible string and the cut that always bleeds prompts. Pick any chorus, verse, or bridge from any song by phoebe bridgers, and I’ll write a mini songfic with it. Again, in the interest of keeping the requests short, I ask that you send no more than three stanzas per request. 

punisher (copycat killer version)- this one, in contrast to the rest of the phoebe bridgers prompts, is a bit more on the hurt/comfort side. For this one, give me any prompt that you want! My only ask is that, if you take the prompt from another account, you credit them in your request, and that you keep the prompt within the realms of hurt/comfort or angst. Send in a character for this one, and I’ll write a thousand words for it. 

waiting room- this one is the painful angst freebie! Make it hurt, make it hard hitting. Have Character A watch Character B almost die. Make it as painful as you want, and with this one, the more specific you can be, the better! Depending on how much you include, these ones may also run a little on the longer side (3-7k as a minimum, 10-14k as a max) 

-

mutual tags: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @thebestieyoureinlovewith​ 

[dhwty-writes]

The Terribly Sad and Tragic Affair that Is the Fake Funeral of Shadowhand Essek Thelyss

Apparently, I am not only drawing for the Critical Role fandom, but writing for it, too. After months of nearly no progress I just vomited out 3k words this Tuesday and it only went downhill from there.

This fic is based on this post by @anne-o-nyme, I really hope I managed to capture the energy of it.

Have fun!

Summary: There were eight strangers in the foyer of his dead brother's towers and Verin Thelyss was slowly losing his patience.

After the sudden "death" of Shadowhand Essek Thelyss, it is his brother Verin's job to empty out his towers. The Mighty Nein show up to help (and maybe steal a few things).

OR: Verin is grieving, Essek just wants his stuff back, and the Mighty Nein are the Mighty Nein.

Warnings: I didn't tag this with MCD, because Essek is technically alive and kicking. Since Verin doesn't know that though, and this fic is written from his POV, this is dealing with grief and includes depictions of depressive thoughts as well as anxiety attacks. For more explicit warnings, please mind the tags on AO3. Take care of yourselves, and let me know if I forgot anything.

Read on AO3

There were eight strangers in the foyer of his dead brother's towers and Verin Thelyss was slowly losing his patience. "Listen," he said with what little calm he had left, "I know that by returning one of our beacons you became heroes of the Dynasty and were placed under Es— My bro— his stewardship. But this here—" he gestured vaguely at the interior of Essek's towers that had always been too cold, too empty, but not like now, never like now— "This is a very difficult situation for me, so if you could please leave, that would be greatly appreciated."

"Yes, yes, it's very sad that Essek died," the blue tiefling said—Jester, her name was Jester; she had given him that already as she had offered him her condolences with a hug—and Verin could barely contain his anger. After the funeral he had quite enough of lying dignitaries, nobles, and heroes currying favours with him. That had always been Essek's thing, he would know what to do, how to make them regret even daring to speak up; Verin had never been any good at it.

"But we're his friends!" He grit his teeth at Jester's blatant falsehood. Perhaps his anger showed on his face, since the tiefling faltered. "And, uh— Fjord?"

"It's true," the half-orc with too-smooth words and too-smooth voice lied, too. "We spent quite some time with your, er— your brother here. Made some good memories. We thought we might take this as our chance to say goodbye, too."

"We are here to help as well. We wouldn't want to infringe upon your grief, though," the tall firbolg added. "So, if you'd prefer us to return at a later point, we'd be happy to."

Verin was still trying to process everything—from these strangers showing up unannounced to their overwhelming presence to the fact that his brother was dead—while simultaneously trying to keep an eye on the halfling who looked like she might have sticky fingers. So, he latched onto the word that stood out the most to him: "Help?"

"Right," Fjord said, looking slightly embarrassed, "we probably should have led with that..."

"We should have called ahead, too," the scary-looking human in blue—they didn't even wear white for the funeral—added. "We always forget to call ahead."

"But Beau, how should we have called ahead?" Jester complained. "We didn't know Verin yet."

"Well, Essek—" the human was interrupted by the even scarier-looking woman next to her stepping on her foot unsubtly. She at least had the decency to act embarrassed. "Right. Sorry 'bout that."

Awkward silence fell across the room, the Mighty Nein looking anywhere but him. It took him a few moments to realise they were waiting for him to speak up. "Help how?" Verin could have kicked himself. By the Light, he could do better than that. He had to do better than that.

A beat of silence followed, then everyone seemed to talk at once. Verin wanted to weep. How was he supposed to deal with this? How had his brother dealt with this? 'He probably hasn't,' he thought. 'They're probably all liars, probably—'

Someone cleared their throat and all eyes turned to the other human who hadn't said anything so far and who looked properly miserable. Immediately, the Mighty Nein fell silent. "Word has reached us that Den Thelyss ordered these premises to be vacated as early as possible," he said quietly with an accent Verin has been taught that belonged to the enemy. "And while some of us may not look like much, I can assure you, we are quite capable."

His eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "I supposed such menial tasks are beneath the heroes of the dynasty. There are servants—"

"Well, sure," the halfling with the probably sticky fingers interrupted, "but we know him. Knew him, I mean; sorry, force of habit."

"Besides, there's a lot of stuff," the lavender tiefling, who Verin was pretty sure was a known pirate, piped up. "Looks like you could use the help."

"If you want to, of course," the sad Empire human added.

Verin only wanted to scream, to give room to the torrent of thoughts raging in his head. 'My brother just died. My brother just died and he wasn't consecuted, so he's gone for good. He's gone for good and I didn't even know him; I didn't even know about these supposed friends he had because he didn't allow me near him in decades. I was a horrible brother and so was he, but I can't even be mad at him because he's dead.

'And now these liars show up and talk about friendship and knowing him, but those are all lies, horrible ones, because Essek had no friends. Essek was cold and cruel and lonely and do you even know how horrible that is? Dying alone with no-one who mourns you, just the favours you still owe them? Do you? I don't even know, and I'm his brother.'

Were he a weaker man, a less disciplined one, he might have said so. But he was Taskhand Verin of Den Thelyss and he had learned discipline before he had learned to talk. So, he said: "Your help would be greatly appreciated, thank you. I'll have the servants bring up some tea. There are, uh—" He straightened his back, summoning the composure that was befitting a Taskhand, even one with a dead brother. "There are boxes up there, they've been brought to the rooms already. Anything of value will be sold; the rest will be given to charity. The things— Well, if you find anything that might have sentimental value, something in his handwriting, perhaps, I think I should like to keep that, please."

The firbolg nodded sagely. "Of course. We will be careful with our selection."

With that, Verin turned around and— froze. Where was he even supposed to start? The towers had always seemed to huge for just Essek and he knew that there were very few personal belongings in them. Still, they would have to be scoured clean within the fortnight.

A large hand on his shoulder made him jump, although he'd never admit it. "Sometimes, when a task seems too large, you should start with the smallest part," the firbolg said. "If I were you, I'd start with the smallest room."

"Thank you, that, uh— that seems like good advice," Verin replied, still a bit startled and confused. "I, er— I'm afraid I didn't catch your name."

"Caduceus Clay. I live in a graveyard, so I'm used to this," Clay said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

Verin furrowed his brows slightly. A graveyard? It seemed highly unlikely to him that one of the heroes of the Dynasty would live in a graveyard of all places. Perhaps they were not only liars, but impostors too? But they had the symbols of the Bright Queen, so there wasn't much that he could say.

"Right," he mumbled. "I believe the smallest room would be the closet. Although it might be tied with the bathroom..." He trailed off again. He had never seen Essek's bedroom in his towers. Judging by how many times he had even seen the inside of the building; he could count himself lucky if he even found the way there.

"Why don't we split up?" Clay suggested. "One group takes the closet, one the bathroom and one the bedroom. We'd get done sooner that way."

"That is a great idea, Caduceus," Jester said excitedly. "I'll take the bathroom; I promised— er, I'm curious if I can find more of that hair oil, I got for Fjord that one time!"

"Ohhh, are you saying this is... an investigation?!" the halfling joined in.

"That's exactly what I'm saying, Veth!"

"Seems like a case for Wildemount's best detectives!"

"Bye, Verin!" Jester called and he blinked and they were gone. Fjord joined them as well, muttering something about having to supervise them.

The purple pirate-tiefling shrugged, heading off in the same direction. "Well, I wouldn't mind rifling through some drawers. I'll have a look at that bedroom."

"Yeah, I don't need to see Essek's underwear, so I'll pass on the closet," Beau added tactfully—Verin was getting the sneaking suspicion that manners were not really her strong suit. She linked hands with the large woman at her side, pulling her along. "Come on, Yash."

"I'll go handle the tea," Clay said. "Don't worry about it." He vanished in the direction of the kitchen, his steps accompanied by the constant tap tap tap of his staff.

When Verin looked around, he realised that only the sad Empire human was left with him in the hallway. "If you wouldn't mind," he said, pointedly avoiding eye-contact, "I would love to have a look at the closet. I always, ah— appreciated your brother's sense of fashion."

Verin blinked at him a few times, then shrugged. "Sure." He began heading up the stairs.

"My condolences," the human continued. "I realise I didn't speak up earlier, but— I am sorry for your loss."

"Thank you," he said, letting the same numb feeling wash over him again that he had embraced since the news of Essek's death had reached him.

"I know that we seem like a bunch of, ah— forgive my language, but assholes, but we're really here to help. I will tell the others to tone it down a bit."

"Thank you," he repeated.

"If you'd prefer that we start in, ah— less personal rooms, we can do that also."

"If I'm perfectly honest, I don't even know what I should be doing there."

"Neither am I." The human laughed nervously. "I have dealt with grief before, but I've never had the, ah— how do you call it? Hang on." He pulled out a copper wire and whispered: "Beau, how do you say zweifelhafte Ehre in Common? You can reply to this message." A moment later he straightened. "Right. I never had the dubious honour of emptying out a deceased person's house before."

"Neither did I," Verin admitted. 'Usually, the deceased person comes back,' he didn't say. Instead, he opted for: "You're, er— What's the word in Common? You're weird? I'm sorry if that's insulting, I just— waele xanalressen [stupid languages]."

"I don't understand your words, but I think I understand the sentiment." The man grimaced. "And I've heard that one before. I hope we're not too much of a... too much."

"It's alright," he lied and opened the door to Essek's bedroom. 

It wasn't alright; Verin wanted to weep again.

The door to the bathroom stood ajar, as did several drawers and cabinets, although he couldn't glance inside. Considering that he heard glass shatter and a quiet "oops" followed by a hushed "Jester!" he was rather glad about that. Besides, what he saw was already quite enough to handle. Beau was currently rifling through Essek's nightstand, the tall woman tossing unread books on the bed carelessly, while the lavender tiefling seemed to make his way through his brother's collections of make-up and jewellery alike.

They froze when they spotted him and the sad human in the door. "Heeey, Verin," Beau drawled.

"These were all still closed, I swear," the lavender tiefling said immediately, gesturing at the jars in front of them.

Verin just sighed in defeat. "I don't wear any make-up, I don't care; you can have it. Put the jewellery in the box to be sold; the books are for charity if he hasn't read them. Just leave the earrings in front of the mirror, please. Those were his favourites."

Without another glance at them, Verin headed straight to Essek's closet, desperate to get some quiet. He took a few moments to collect himself, before closing the door and leaning his head against it with a heavy thunk.

He stayed like that for a minute or maybe two until he heard someone clear their throat. "I have been debating for the past fifty-five seconds, if I should just Dimension Door out," the sad human said and Verin very nearly jumped out of his skin, "but that would be loud and I didn't want to startle you. Not that I didn't startle you like this but—"

"Vithin shu," Verin cursed.

"Vithin shu ke," the sad human agreed, his accent in Undercommon even heavier than normally.

For a moment, they both stared at each other, equally startled by the course of events. Then, the human looked away again. "I, ah— have started learning Undercommon before, um— well, before." Verin tried very hard to focus on the way the human was scratching at his forearms; that way he had something else to focus on besides his nearing breakdown.

"This is a bit embarrassing, but, ah— I believe I forgot to introduce myself," the human continued. "I'm Caleb Widogast. Essek and I were... friends, yes, and ah— colleagues, of some sort. It's... complicated."

He scratched at his arms again before turning towards the shelves and pulling out a stack of tunics. He unfolded one, looked at it, then carefully folded it again, cast a cantrip to smooth out the wrinkles, and put it in the charity box. Then he repeated the procedure with the next. And the next. And the next.

Verin frowned, thinking for a moment about his words. There was something about them that seemed painfully familiar, although he couldn't quite remember. Then: "The transmutation specialist."

Widogast looked up in surprise. "Yes."

"Essek told me of you," Verin admitted.

The last time they had seen each other had been here, in these towers, just a few months ago. He had found his brother in his office, pouring over notes for a new spell, alive and healthy as ever. As always, he had entered without knocking. As always, he had pretended to read the notes. Not as always, he had noticed something wrong. "Whose handwriting is that?" he had asked.

"What?" Essek had snapped, his head whipping up. Then, however, his expression had softened. "Oh. A friend's. A colleague, of sorts. He's helping me out, a bit."

"With the spell?" Verin had asked incredulously.

"Yes. He's a transmutation specialist; you know that's not my forte. Now give it back, will you?"

"A colleague, huh?" He had grinned and held the paper out of Essek's reach. "Are you sure that's all?"

Perhaps Essek had been sick after all, for the strangest thing had happened: instead of using his floating cantrip to snatch the notes back, he had gotten a dreamy, far-off look in his eyes. He had even smiled with an expression Verin might have called dopey, if it weren't his brother they were talking about. After a few moments, he had snapped out of it, sighed, and said: "It's complicated."

"Did he?" Widogast asked tentatively. "Did he, ah— did he say anything else about me?"

Verin pinned him down with a glare, sizing him up. In hindsight, he should have noticed the thick spellbook at his hip earlier; judging by his slim frame alone, he should have known the man was a wizard. He supposed Widogast was handsome enough, although his brother had never cared much for that, with his copper hair and his striking blue eyes. Blue eyes around which crows' feet were gathering, as he noticed to his dismay. 'He's human,' Verin reminded himself. He might have a few decades left, maybe, whereas Essek had centuries ahead of him. The thought why his brother might condemn himself to more loneliness crossed his mind, though it hardly mattered. His brother had been the first to die, after all.

"Verin?" Widogast inquired quietly.

"I'm sorry," he answered with a thick voice. "I got lost in my thoughts there. He, uhh— he said that he trusted you." That didn't even begin to cover it, but these Mighty Nein had been lying to him since the moment they got here, so what was a little lie by omission? Besides, there were some memories that he wanted to keep just to himself.

"Essek," he had teased, still waving the sheet of paper out his reach. "Come on! Aren't we brothers?"

Essek had crossed his arms and pouted. He hadn't done that since they were both little. "Unfortunately. You are a menace. And a child."

"If you tell me about him, I'll give it back. Is he handsome? Is he a drow? Where's he from? How did you meet? When will I meet him? Can I promise to kill him if he hurts you?"

"Verin!" Essek had groaned and hid his face in his hands.

"What do you do when you meet? I bet you stay up all night, talking about 'arcane research' or something."

"We do, in fact. Are you done now?"

"Oh, is that what young people call it these days?" He had cackled at his own joke.

"Evidently not," Essek had muttered. "Might I remind you that you're younger than me?"

"Might I remind you that you're a buzzkill?" Verin had shot back and placed the note down. He had gotten bored of his own game.

Essek had taken the sheet of paper almost reverently and thanked him. "I would have hated it to rewrite that page." He had smoothed it down, stored it safely away in a folder, silent for a long time. Then, he had said: "Caleb."

"Excuse me?"

"That's his name," Essek had said. "Caleb Widogast."

Verin had frowned. "Hey, Essek?"

"Hm?"

"You must trust him a lot, to share a spell with him."

His brother had taken a shuddering breath and closed his eyes. Verin hadn't expected him to answer, yet he'd said: "I do, actually. It's not the first spell we've created together and I would be honoured to create a thousand more with him. I'd trust him with my life, my death, and beyond. I think—" He'd huffed. "I think I trust him almost as much as I trust you."

Verin watched Widogast as he was looking through his brother's tunics, placing most of them in the charity box, and he wondered. Wondered if the trust Essek had obviously put in Widogast had been misplaced. Wondered if it had extended to his friends, as well. Wondered if ultimately trust had been his downfall, as he'd always feared.

Then again, if Essek had trusted him... perhaps that trust had been mutual. Perhaps they had been friends. Perhaps there was another person mourning his brother after all.

"Do I have something on my face?" Verin had given up on counting how many times Widogast had now startled him out of his thoughts.

"No, no I—," Verin stammered. "I'm sorry."

He tilted his head to the side. "For staring?"

"No, er— For your loss." Liar or no liar, it only seemed appropriate.

"Oh." Widogast turned back to the tunics. Verin probably should get started, too, shouldn't he? "Thank you. Though I'd wager your loss weighs heavier than mine."

"Probably," he agreed and turned to the task at hand. At this point, Widogast had moved on from the simple tunics to Essek's court regalia. After a short moment of consideration, Verin decided to look through the pants; he also had no interest in sorting through his dead brother's underwear.

Out of the corner of his eye he kept watching the wizard, pulling out one cloak after the other. At a few he wrinkled his nose, at others he just stared before putting them with the tunics. After a while one made him pause; an elaborate, beautiful robe in deep purple. "This is what he was wearing when we first met him," he said.

'He hated that one,' Verin thought. Not that he could say that out loud. Instead, he cocked his head and asked: "Are you sure? He has a lot of those. Had, I mean. Had a lot of those."

"Yeah, I'm sure." He tapped his temple with a faint smile. "I have a good memory."

"As does Essek," he snapped, suddenly feeling very defensive about his brother's capabilities. "I suppose most wizards do."

Infuriatingly, Widogast only nodded. "Indeed. Or they're not very good ones."

Silently, Verin turned back to the trousers. The sooner he got done, the sooner he got these people out of his brother's towers, the better. He didn't know for how long they worked in silence, Verin reminiscing about the times he had seen Essek wear the clothes and wondering about those he didn't know. Eventually, he folded the last of them and forced himself to return to the present. "I think we're done here," he announced. "Do you have a preference for a next room?"

"Perhaps the library?" Widogast offered a tentative smile. "I think I might be of more use there than folding clothes."

"More use than I will be, surely."

"I take it the wizardry doesn't run in the family, then?"

Verin only scoffed and opened the door to the bedroom again.

He immediately spotted Beau leafing through one of the books Essek had never read, while the tiefling was chatting amiably with the aasimar while braiding her hair. He also noted the boxes neatly stacked in the middle of the room. Besides that, he noticed with a heavy heart, the room looked much the same. If anything, it looked less orderly and empty than before. Except for—

"Where are Essek's earrings?" Verin demanded to know.

"What earrings?" the lavender tiefling replied with a too-wide grin the same moment Beau said: "Dude, there's tons of them, why don't—"

"No," he said decisively. "Essek's favourite earrings; they're always up here. I told you about them. Where are they?" His hands curled into fists, his neatly manicured fingernails pressing almost painfully into his skin.

"Perhaps you should look in one of the boxes," the aasimar woman suggested "I'm sure they're—"

"You're lying," Verin interrupted her, barely containing his anger. "Why are you lying? If they're in one of the boxes, then only because you put them there. So: where are they?"

Widogast only now stepped out of the closet, wearing an amber necklace he hadn't noticed before. "Verin—" he said tentatively, but he'd had enough.

"Shut up!" He startled himself with how loud his voice was. But he was beyond caring. "I know they're not in there, because the only ones to put them in there would have been you. So, either you're lying about having them put in there, or you're lying about stealing them, I don't care. Just— please. Please give them back."

The four of them passed a guilty glance. "We can't," Beau replied finally.

"The fuck you can't," Verin spat. "Give them back!"

"Verin, love, we would really love to," the tiefling added, "but we can't."

"I don't understand; is it precious things you want? Here, have some!" He strode over to the boxes and ripped the first open, tossing the lid towards the bathroom door Jester was peeking out of. He reached in to grab a necklace—an ugly one, he had always thought, with a stylised beacon—and threw it in their direction.

Beau caught it. Of course.

"Have a whole box, actually, if you like them so damn much." He reached inside and pulled out a jewellery box, tears prickling in his eyes. He threw one of those, too, just for good measure. It gave him some satisfaction that Widogast had to dodge it. "Just give me back the bloody earrings that my brother wore at my fucking consecution!" He was properly crying now and could only imagine the mess he looked like, but he had reached his limit. And, in his opinion, he was allowed to with all that was going on.

At least they looked a little bit guilty. "Fuck man, we didn't know," Beau mumbled.

"It's just one pair, Beau," Jester called over from the bathroom. "I'm sure it will be alright."

"Yes, there's no need for this to escalate," Fjord agreed and strode over to them, his hands raised innocently.

"I don't even know you people," Verin muttered, looking at the people crowding into his brother's bedroom. "Why did I even let you inside?"

"Do you want the earrings back?" the aasimar woman asked, reaching into a bag at her hip. Had she been carrying a greatsword for the whole time? Verin suddenly noticed how overpowered he was, were he to face all of them. "You can have them back if you want. Here, you can have them back."

"For a moment," Widogast added, slowly drawing closer to him and taking the earrings from the aasimar. He held them out on his flat hand, almost like he had seen soldiers offer treats to horses. His whole demeanour reminded him of someone trying to calm a spooked animal. For some reason, that seemed hilarious to him and he couldn't help the hysterical giggle that escaped his throat.

"Verin, I need you to calm down," he continued. "I know that's easier said than done, but you need your head."

"I think we should all calm down," Clay said from the doorway. And despite being surprised again, he did. It didn't make any sense, but few things these days did.

"Did it work?" the halfling asked. Verin wasn't really sure what she was talking about.

"It did," Clay confirmed.

"Gut," Widogast said and pressed the earrings that had seemed so important a moment ago into Verin's hands. "I think we should maybe go somewhere else, ja? Will you come with me?"

Inadvisable as it might be, if Essek had trusted that man, he should, too. And out of all of the Nein, he seemed to be the most normal one. The one he could see Essek with most. So, he nodded.

"I'll get us back to the kitchen, quickly." Caleb held out his hand and Verin closed his eyes, steeling himself. 'I hate Dimension Door,' was the last thing that crossed his mind before the teleportation spell ripped him away, together with: 'We haven't been to the kitchen, yet.'

Evidently, there went something wrong with the spell. Verin didn't know much about magic, but he knew Dimension Door couldn't transport more than two people. So, when he heard Beau groan and say "Fuck, dude, warn us next time," he knew that something wasn't right.

"You knew about the plan, Beauregard," Widogast replied.

"It doesn't matter," Fjord decided. "Caduceus, do you think you could make tea again? I think the Calm Emotions is about to wear off."

Cautiously, Verin opened one eye, then the other. They were, in fact, standing in a kitchen, as far as he could tell. All of the Mighty Nein were surrounding him. The furniture seemed to have been made for people taller than them; Essek probably would need to float in order to avoid awkwardly climbing onto the chair. The firbolg, however, who was fussing with a teapot, seemed to fit right in. All in all, the interior was very rustic. And very much not in Essek's towers, not that he had ever seen that room, of course.

The panic hit him once more. Verin whirled around to the wizard, instinctively grasping for his sword. "Where the fuck—" he faltered, finding his hip bare. Of course, he hadn't brought it for the funeral. Instead, he opted for just grasping Widogast by the lapels and lifting him up a bit. It was supposed to be menacing, which surely would be more effective, were humans not so annoyingly tall. "Where the fuck are we?!" he spat out.

A lot of things seemed to happen at once—he heard a "Fuck, man, what-" from Beau, a "Well, Mister Thelyss" from the pirate, several hands trying to tug him away from the weak wizard—but he didn't pay them any mind. He just shook Widogast, who looked entirely too calm for his liking, and demanded: "Answer me!"

"Leave him," was all Widogast said. "He has every right to be angry."

Indeed, the people grasping at him retreated, still on guard and surrounding him. There was a creak outside the door and Verin desperately wished for his sword once more. Then, a voice cut through the tense silence that had descended over the kitchen: "Caleb, is that you? You're back early."

"Yeah, there were some complications. Best come and look yourself, Schatz."

There was a sigh that was entirely too familiar for Verin's liking. Then, the door opened with a creak and in walked a dead man. "Complications," Essek Thelyss said with a fond smile. "I was just a Sending away, what did you come here fo— oh."

The person wearing his brother's face stopped in their tracks as they saw him. A couple of complicated emotions passed over his face—confusion, surprise, regret, guilt. If he hadn't known before, Verin was certain now that they were impostors, all of them. His brother would never tolerate such a display of weakness. Still, the impostor said: "Hello, brother."

Verin whipped his head back around to the wizard in his grasp. "What the fuck are you playing at?" he hissed.

"I- what- Verin!" the Essek-impostor sputtered. "What are you doing; put him down!"

"I would appreciate that, yes," Widogast added.

"Not before you don't tell me what's going on."

"Going on?" The impostor sneered and shook his head in a perfect imitation of his brother. "Nothing is going on, Verin."

"You died," he accused him.

"Evidently not," Essek scoffed.

Verin narrowed his eyes, looking from the man claiming to be his brother over the other too calm wizard to the rest of the Nein, seemingly perfectly happy to let this play out. "Prove it," he demanded. "Tell me something only my brother would know."

"You've become paranoid," he noted and Verin couldn't decide if it sounded proud or disappointed. "Alright. When you and I were in our early thirties, you once got in trouble for scaling the outside of mother's mansion. Rightfully, I should have gotten in trouble, too, but I was hiding on the attic. And the reason you never told anyone, is because then you'd have had to explain that I, the wizard, had somehow outpaced you, the fighter, in a climbing competition."

Verin wrinkled his nose at that. "Well, my brother cheated."

"I did not cheat, thank you very much!" He huffed indignantly and crossed his arms. "You didn't say 'no magic' before we started."

He stared at Essek for a few moments. "It's you," he whispered.

"Obviously."

Verin dropped the wizard on the ground and looked over at his brother; really looked. The man looked nothing like the one he had known for most of his life. His hair was longer than it had ever been since he'd cut it off and his bare feet were touching the ground. His clothes were casual, a simple tunic and trousers. After this day, Verin knew for a fact that not even Essek's trancing clothes were that informal, and yet his brother looked more comfortable in them in another's house than he had in decades. On top of that, he kept glancing over to Widogast. And smiling. Essek was smiling.

No, this man looked nothing like the one Verin had known for nearly a century. But he looked a lot like his brother.

"You're alive," he said stupidly.

"Yes, of course I am," Essek said, as if Verin hadn't just attended his funeral.

It felt only right to tell him so: "Why are you alive? I was at your funeral."

"That's a long story," he sighed and floated onto one of the chairs that were slightly too tall for him. He accepted a cup of tea from Clay with thanks and turned back to Verin. "Why are you here?"

"Well, that's a pretty long story, too," Jester spoke up. "He kind of started freaking out about your earrings, I think? And he was crying and looking pretty awful and everything, right Caleb?"

"I, ah— didn't think he'd believe us if we told him about you," Caleb said. "So, we had agreed beforehand to bring him here, in case of an emergency."

"He thought we were lying," Clay added.

"I suppose it is my story to tell," Essek said. "Earrings, Verin?"

"They're your favourite," Verin said stupidly and held them out to him.

His face grew soft. "Oh," he said as he took them gingerly, "I didn't know that you kne—"

Before he could overthink and do something stupid like stop himself, he surged forward and enveloped his brother in a tight hug. After a moment Essek closed his arms around him, too.

It seemed so unreal, to be able to hold him after mourning him for what felt like years. All the worries, all the grief and anger that had crushed him in the past few weeks and for what? For the bastard to still be alive after all. It wasn't fair. Why had he had to go through all of that? And why did he feel the pressing urge to start crying again? He should be happy, shouldn't he, that his brother wasn't dead. So why did it make him feel so awful?

"I think this is our cue to leave," Fjord said. Verin felt his brother nod and heard the Mighty Nein shuffle out of the kitchen, the door closing behind them with a creak. 

Only then, Essek spoke up. "Verin," he asked quietly, "are you crying?"

"Shut up," he mumbled through the thick fog of tears and snot, definitely not crying. "I hate you, Essek. Do you know what I went through?" 

"Meeting the Mighty Nein? Yes, I can imagine."

"They're horrible," he complained. "They're loud and they're rude and they had absolutely no respect for any of your belongings! I thought I was going mad."

"They are. They also are my friends, you know."

"How?" he asked agonised.

"I know they don't look like it, but they are surprisingly capable. And I am sure that you've noticed most of them to be annoyingly charming. But I think their absolute worst traits are their infinite stubbornness and perseverance. They quite literally did not leave me alone until they had befriended me."

Verin glanced up at him questioningly. "And were half in love with the wizard?" he guessed.

Essek scowled darkly, a faint blush colouring his cheeks. "Perhaps."

He snorted and disentangled himself from their embrace. Very calmly he said: "You're a liar." 

Essek looked genuinely startled at that. "What?"

"You said, you trusted me more than him. Why then, did he know and I didn't?"

"It's... complicated," he said.

"You wizards say that a lot."

"Verin." Essek closed his eyes. "I trust you. Implicitly. And I care about you. Which is why I chose not to burden you with the knowledge of my misdeeds. I didn't— I didn't want to put you in an impossible situation to choose between me and our queen."

He laughed nervously. "What on earth are you talking about? I mean, you didn't commit treason or anything."

Essek didn't answer, avoiding eye-contact instead.

"Right?"

Still, Essek kept stubbornly quiet.

"Oh," Verin breathed. He took a moment trying to reconcile what he knew about his brother with the fact that he was apparently a traitor. It all fit together ridiculously easy. "The beacons."

Essek looked up at him in shock and he knew he had hit the mark. "What?"

"You stole the beacons." Now that he thought about it, it made perfect sense. Essek had been studying them at the time, one of the only people with frequent access to them. He had always been fascinated by them, yet his theories had been rejected for their heretic nature. As Shadowhand, he had also regular contact with counterparts from the Empire, albeit not officially. Then, a few years after Essek’s research had been denied, they had vanished. How had he never seen this before?

"Oh Essek...," he said softly.

"No, please— I don’t—Please don’t—” He seemed to deflate, curling in on himself. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you, I—”

"I don't care,” Verin interrupted his frantic ramblings.

"What?" Essek looked up at him, looking just as shocked as Verin felt.

“I don’t care,” he repeated, realising that it was true the moment the words left his mouth. For how could he care about something as trivial as treason when Essek was sitting right in front of him, alive and well. "You're my brother, I don't care. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe in a year. Maybe in ten. Right now, I only care that you're alive."

“I—What—I don’t—” Essek stuttered, lifting and then lowering his hands a few times. “I don’t know how— If I can—Fuck.”

There was a joke on the tip of his tongue, but even he knew that this wasn’t the right time for it. Essek was obviously trying to tell him something and it took him a minute to decipher that strange behaviour. “Are you asking for a hug?” he hazarded a guess.

An agonised expression passed over his face and for a moment Verin thought there were tears gathering in his brother’s eyes. Surely not. “I don’t know if I may. I don’t mean to overstep—”

Without further ado, Verin stepped forward and gathered a yelping Essek up and squeezed him tightly. “Of course you may!” he assured him, awkwardly patting his shaking shoulders. “I love you, Essek. I am very glad that you’re alive.”

“I’m very glad to see you, too,” Essek answered and squeezed him a little tighter.