#(I love your reply either way!)
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the thing about labru vs kabumisu is that both of them have the same core appeal to me, specifically from kabru's side of things: kabru being someone who is constantly agonizing about social rules and putting on the right mask, and meeting this Weird Fucking Guy who does not (cannot) care about all those things, and so kabru slowly allows himself to be more genuine. they're both such good relationships (whether you view them romantically or platonically), why must there be so much hostility between enjoyers of these ships?
#they are ALSO both ''just when you think you've hit rock bottom you want to fuck a blonde guy''#(yes ik mithrun's hair is technically silver but it's blonde enough)#eliot posts#dunme#ships#dungeon meshi#dm spoilers#dungeon meshi spoilers#labru#kabumisu#i love both so i feel like i'm winning either way. multi track drifting!#i think i like kabumisu slightly more bc i am an acts of service enjoyer at heart#but both are good#the only ship that i'm that gung ho about is farcllle (but also i'd never get into a shipping war over it bc im not fucking 12 years old)#why is there so much shipping war in this fandom??? it's so fucking bonkers. is it fucking 2014???#what makes it more annoying is that this series is so light on romance and focuses on platonic relationships#how did this series attract so many rabid shippers???#this post has been up for 2 hours and someone was already posting bad take reductive ship hate in the replies#get blocked <3 you are a deeply obnoxious human being god bless your heart
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God. Luz finally working up the courage to tell Hunter he's a Grimwalker only to introduce the subject as "Okay. The bad thing that Belos told me about a while ago. It has something to do with you, and I think you should know what it is." Hunter's mind immediately goes to awful no-good bad places such as "Things that were meant to be kept in the non-Luz family specifically" and then Luz just says it's that he's a Grimwalker and Hunter lets out the BIGGEST SIGH OF RELIEF EVER. To which Luz is ???
:(((
kiddos....
i can imagine hunter probing luz for information on what a grimwalker is & luz explains the clone thing & hunter is like "oh. am i.... real....?"
and luz is like. OF COURSE you are. of course you're real of course you are. you're hunter you think and feel and love just like any other witch. you're my hunter you've always been my hunter
and hunter is like. well all right. then why would i... care...?
luz, getting increasingly upset: you weren't the only one. he kept learning more and more about how to make you all closer to what he wanted and i kept messing up-
hunter: oh. huh.
luz: what do you mean, 'huh'??
hunter: ....that actually explains a lot.
luz: i'm so sorry, i-
hunter: what?? no no luz this isn't your fault. i don't care about any of this. you think it matters to me?? all i've ever cared about is making sure YOU'RE not what he wanted. i don't Care what happens to me. as long as he left you alone. you know that. i can be anyone, i can be anything. it's Okay, luz. as long as i can keep you safe
luz: but i have to keep you safe too. i have to keep you safe too, you're family-
hunter: --and you did. you already did. he's gone, luz. he's never going to touch either of us ever again. YOU did that for me. it's OKAY.
& then luz grabs onto him and just. cries into his shoulder for a while.
#'hunter your priorities are so bad' 'they really are not'#hunter being like. so what you're saying is that literally all of this would have happened to me either way#and all you did was be kind and ease my pain my whole life?? oh noooo... how evil....#yeah you're a big scary tyrant. luz i can Promise you that loving you is not in my DNA.#let me keep choosing you. don't tell me i shouldn't#replies#toh#princess luz au#horrible mindscape trauma pals#abuse#child abuse#csa implied#pretty strongly anyway.#belos toh
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reddit:
literally every other WOT viewer in the world:
#they've been saying this ever since the finale aired and it drives me CRAZY#have your personal opinions all you want but to say that 2x08 was objectively a weak episode is simply not correct#cinematography acting vfx choreography music EVERYTHING was at the absolute top of its game#and despite being an Exciting Battle Episode it was completely anchored in character moments & emotional resonance which is no easy feat#so much going on yet there was time for every major character to get a huge developmental/emotional beat#(yes even those like nynaeve whose beat was a loss rather than a victory)#every season arc was either wrapped up in an immensely satisfying way or was set up for a deeper examination next season#and 90% of the general audience absolutely loved it#and yet reddit acts like it's an Accepted Fact that it was poor quality#just bc the book-to-show changes in that episode weren't to THEIR PERSONAL taste#touch grass#wot#seeing as season finales will always have the biggest moments it's kinda inevitable that hardcore book fans#will always be the most sensitive to any changes made in those particular episodes#not to mention that the changes made in eps 1-7 will snowball and culminate in the finale#so i feel like finales are always gonna be judged the most harshly by readers#like if dumai's wells isn't an exact 1:1 recreation of the book version#readers are 1000000% going to flip their shit no matter how objectively good the show's version actually is#wot book spoilers#for the replies
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Welcome to OC-Center's BIRTHDAY PARTY! 🎉
One year of sharing people's OCs to give them visibility, one year of a growing community, one year down with many to go ♥ Below I will share the OC-Center Wrapped, to see everything about this year in stats! 🙌
In the meantime, what better way to celebrate than showing off your own OC in this big party photo?
All your OCs are cordially invited to join in the festivities - add them to the picture in a reblog with a short tidbit introducing them to everyone; that's the best way to make friends at a party!
Will you accept OC-Center's invitation? 🥳
OC-Center Wrapped:
Anniversary: 11th of December Posts: 3,331 Followers: 866 'Needs Love' (posts with 10 notes or below): 41 Most popular original post: Bubble Web post
Number of OCs shared: 3233 'humanoid' OCs: 2261 'anthro' OCs: 646 'creature' OCs: 403 Submissions shared: 226
What a wonderful year! Thank you everyone, and here's to the next one ♥
Ressources used for stats:
Tumblr Stats: https://jetblackcode.com/TumblrStats Tag Counter: https://drunkonschadenfreude.com/
#not ocs#text post#anniversary#stats#happy birthday to this blog!!#as an extra treat don't hesitate to send some asks about anything! i'll be happy to read your stories or reply to your questions :>#either way- thank you all so much for the incredible support. i'm so thankful and happy#seeing oc posts get notes and creators meet each other through this place has been truly incredible#this is genuinely all thanks to you! this place is nothing without your interactions and the love your give OCs ♥#(i had planned on posting this last sunday but i got busy! But that's okay there is no deadline on the party :D)
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https://x.com/d3kutism/status/1741579841764475157?s=46
it should be illegal to be this fucking stupid so loudly and confidently omg..
mfs on the internet preach about "media literacy" yet they completely gloss over the fact that the only damn things that kusuo "canonically" is are a tsundere, an unreliable narrator, and a fucking liar LMFAOOO.. babe thats like basic reading comprehension, im sorry..
EDIT: it should go without saying not to send a person hate just because of a silly post like this one(+i dont have any reach anyway so im sure it wouldnt happen, but i wanna say this nonetheless lol) but i would just like to say that i just checked and realized that this person is 15 years old, so like... yeah, too young to be arguing with grown people on the internet. dont take this too serious or send this person hate pls lol..
#nobody who isnt aroace is allowed to tell ME what character has to be aroace#yall forget that we aroaces (+ESPECIALLY autistic aroaces) dont want or need your ugly white knight savior bs#'oh but im aroace n i also think hes aroace🤓' ok?? should i care about your hcs?#have your projection hcs or your regular random hcs- i literalky DONT care#but it becomes an issue when u try so desperately to defend it like this#like babe u sound so dumb☠️#its so confusing to me how u chronically online weirdos insist on making ur hcs canon#i promise u guys ur hcs dont have to be canon for u to enjoy them#its a VERY popular hc too like tf more do u want#im autistic and aroace and i say kusuo is demi and autistic#i am him and he is me so i know factually/j#so still on the aroace spectrum but either way i dont force my hcs on other people like u selfish weirdos do LOL#also this person and the replies being like 'just cuz not all autistic ppl r aroace doesnt mean none can be' YEA OBVIOUSLY?#UR ARGUING WITH THE WALL AND ITS CRAZY CUZ NOBODY EVER SAID THAT#literally not one fucking person said he cant be aroace- just that it isnt canon#do u even fucking hear urselves.. YOURE the ones saying he cant be anything other than aroace.. so YOURE the one doing the forcing..#u guys love pushing ur stereotypes on others and then defending it to high fucking hell#anyway sorry i dont have a public twitter so im saying my piece here#the link looks suspicious as hell twitter pwease give me a better link#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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@dutybcrne x
The position that Kaeya found himself in often caused him to work alongside others whether they were apart of the Knights of Favonius or not.
Kaeya and Diluc had their own ideals when it came to the situations that they tended to deal with while it was obvious that things have changed. A change that happened after the two went their separate ways, the day that he did receive his very own vision. He had stayed in Mondstadt taking up the role of the Cavalry Captain while Diluc had been traveling searching for those answers he was desperate to get. Was he able to figure out the truth? An answer that the cryo user most likely wouldn’t be able to get since he doubted that Diluc was willing to speak to him. Things unfortunately were tense between the two. It would take time to fix their relationship if it could be fixed at all.
He should have expected this knowing that Diluc was the type who never hesitated to take charge depending on the situation. He was stubborn. They both were when it came to the issues that they have both dealt with over the years since they had gone their separate ways. It seemed that Diluc had his own plan in mind because of those shielded blows even though Kaeya was able to defend himself. He wasn’t weak.
“You...” A small breath escaped from the Cavalry Captain knowing that he was sporting an injury he was obviously trying to hide. Kaeya could tell with just a quick glance and how his hand was resting against his side.
He didn’t know if he would be able to get Diluc to listen to him knowing how stubborn he truly could be when it came to the smallest thing. There was plenty of information that Varka tended to share with the Knights when it seemed like there was information to share. It was a difficult matter when it came to the situations they tended to face because of the enemies which tended to make a daily appearance. It was a never ending job when it came to the path that Kaeya decided to follow, but it was unknown what choice he was going to make next. He knew where his loyalties were though, loyalty that he wasn’t going to turn his back down because of the bonds he made. Because of how important Mondstadt was to the cryo user.
He wouldn’t find it surprising if Diluc thought a lot less of him because of the argument they had which caused the two to go their separate ways. Kaeya wanted to fix things between them, but he doubted that it would be accepted that easily because of that tension lingered. He unconsciously had been keeping people at arm’s length even though there were plenty of people he trusted here. People who Kaeya thought of as friends.
It wasn’t difficult for Kaeya to take charge when his assistance was needed, especially when those familiar faces of the Abyss decided to make an appearance. He wasn’t the type of person to hesitate even if it seemed like an impossible challenge. He couldn’t help, but be annoyed with Diluc’s words and the chance to assist the one who stood in front of him. He knew that there was something he could do even if it seemed like it was just a small matter. It was frustrating. This entire situation was frustrating. The redhead obviously wasn’t going to make it easy, he wasn’t going to listen to them.
“Just because you have dealt with something worse doesn’t mean you have to. Just sit down and let me take care of your wound.”
#pavo ocellus#dutybcrne#m: kaeya#v: don't get frostbite#(I love your reply either way!)#(You don't have to hold back though if there is a lot you want to write!)#(You don't have to ask me either!)#(Ahh I hope mine is okay though. I am a bit rusty with Kaeya)
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🤭
#i think you all should know that (largely in my absence) i have#become decidedly.....not bashful about approaching peeps i want to talk to....at least online#bc for some reason you guys think i'm ok and i think you all are really cool#and i love that about you. about people. in general. humans. bless. and i want to acknowledge that#so yes i will randomly leave replies and asks bc i think this life is too harsh to not#take the moments we feel like acknowledging one another and complimenting each other and wishing one another well#that is the best part about it#(i'm still working on translating this to in person#where i am much more awkward but also like most of awkwardness is being afraid to connect#and once you kind bulldoze your way through it while focusing on being kind and focusing on the other person#you realize you're way less awkward than you think#and even the awkwardness itself is beautiful and human and worth embracing and growing through#the last two people i verbally apologized to for being awkward#-which really only translates to not knowing either them or myself or both well enough to be comfortable within our own boundaries-#both looked at me in complete surprise and told me i was not being awkward#so. idk where this ramble is going#but i'm being very outgoing and friendly on tumblr dot com tonight#bc i'd rather learn something about someone and their life and experience than be worried about what they think about me#ragamusings in the tags
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re last answer: please don't stop, being very unhinged about these two pretty white boys is helping distract me from the sharks losing streak rn so bring it on
https://www.tumblr.com/bondedpairs/764566430180147200?source=share
(sideblog woes but there's the link for you) anyway in the vid they talk about going over to each other's houses to have dinner and things and while that is a delicious example of their codependence i love it bc through an rpf lens there is definitely some old man ******* going on. they can have the dilfs and each other.
(someone else mentioned kept boys which i could write an essay on but i fear being Perceived™️)
anyway if you have anything to add to this please do, if not ignore me and i will hide under a rock until the stress-related insanity has worn off and i am a functioning member of society once more 😂
- @bondedpairs
ty for the video!!! and please, WRITE THE KEPT BOYS ESSAYYYY i promise i will read it with my hands over my eyes if you don’t want to be perceived. do it scared!! do it anyway!! we’ll all love you for it!!!
#like. i don’t know how to explain how narratively aware will smith is to me. he knows he’s being put into the codependent rookies arc.#he’s aware that zeev buium transforms into a dog. he knows that he and mack aren’t getting together because mack’s gotta work it out first.#& in a less unhinged way i simply mean that will smith has an air of both self-conscious thought & projection i think is maybe fascinating.#but not in a way in which i actually know this or think that he thinks about himself and how he comes across. he just Is Something ????#the best way i can explain is one of my alltime favorite fics i use it like a shorthand citation bc i love it so much but catchascatchcan’s#many worlds universe but specifically the second tk/pat story second person you the ouroboros spits out its tale nolan walks off screen.#like that is the kind of narrative awareness i am trying to explain that no matter where i put him will smith knows he’s inside a story but#not in a way where he’s trying to do anything to it. he’s just present there. this makes no sense to me either please understand#liv in the replies#bondedpairs#happy to have brought you something in your times of woe!!! also hope things get a little less stressful for you!! <3#we’re 2gether p much 24/7” no go on i say in my nature documentary voice. watching them like bugs under a rock rn observing from a distance#this DID get me to actually watch the video. agreed with puckpocketed saying rich text and ur tags like. YES the daddy issues popped out.#just wants to make sure he’s having fun!! checking up!! mack the prime irritance in will’s life!! foisted off on one another w/ no choice#it’s like when your parents are friends so then you have to be friends with their kids in a way and then also like. you’re the only kids#close in age to each other but they’re NOT but it is definitely not like. i would choose you for any lifetime it is very will smith hockey#(once again) very aware he has to wait for mack to settle down. like now that i’m saying this i DO want clairvoyant will smith which is not#where it goes in the first half but just in the sense of like. those silly posts that are like ‘invested early in stock!’ & it’s a picture#of braden holtby & his beautiful bisexual wife brandi back when holts was a hipster who wore skinny scarves & now everyone thinks he’s sooo#like that but it’s will smith saying my god you are insufferable but you’ll be fantastic in five years. get in the fucking car.#(yes i am drawing extensively from the one picture where will has COMPLETELY tuned him out (there is a football reasoning reference here?#with the patriots? neonfretra drew this also but it was a tweet about the teams. there’s layers to this here ANYWAY) we’re building a life#i realize after the fact i addressed neither the dilf (gilf?) fucking here nor the content of the actual video & polycules to which i say:#brain scrampled egg. the burnsie/joe/patty/(pavs???) polycule just exists to me and the kids intersect the venn diagram but in a much#smaller portion than they intersect each other in both ways (will/mack joe/the guys)#also as for the content of the video. you’re gonna have to give me at LEAST (how long did it take me until i actually started posting tzjd?#i hate that this is my metric but it really was like. i see everyone yelling about them & i’m like ok. [please ignore the irrational hatred#i have for tz at the time it has to do with moritz seider and also whenever i see him on the ice something awakens in kill mode] and i DO#blame tzjd for my 800 drafts and it took me like. a good while before i finally went OH kay. i see it. okay i can get invested. horizon at#a 45 degree angle moon in the late waxing gibbous winds scented of orange & blowing S by SW from the vortex cycle etc etc ass conditions)
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Just found out my childhood best friend is engaged... logically this makes perfect sense considering she's only a few months younger than me, completely normal thing to happen, but considering she is and will always be either 8 or 15 in my head, this is fucking bizarre.
#we haven't talked since we were 19#since she sad drunk messaged me after we fell out and I replied and never heard back#only found out because I was actually looking up someone else I used to know and clicked onto her facebook by chance#I'm very happy for her I'm just also kinda stunned like#isn't it bizarre that your favourite person in the universe from ages 6 to 19 is going to marry someone they met after you left their life?#and you won't be there? isn't that weird?#yes yes it is#isn't it weird you fell out in part because she stood you up two days before you moved country#after you'd cancelled on your grandmother to make time for her? just to get told you never made time for her?#so you didn't get to say goodbye to either and now it's 9 years later and they're both gone (in different ways)#but you're still here in your kingdom of burned bridges#the passage of time is bizarre. anyway I hope he makes you happy girl#sorry everyone loves that poem I wrote about you#thanks for being my bi awakening
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Queenie, can you make a lil moodboard of what you think you or your self insert character would look like in Strnager Things? I wanna know what you see when you write your fics!
OKAY I LOVE THIS BUT—i’m odd in the sense that I self insert myself with Steve (since he was my first ST crush), but I like writing for Eddie better and he was first paired with an OC of mine, who i basically just now imagine as the reader in my fics. it’s also why i can’t do steddie (as in be in the middle of a sandwich). that, and i don’t like to share bc i love steve harrington, but i’d heavily favor Eddie. SO.
which moodboard would you like to see, self insert-me (x steve) or self insert for eddie (OC, won’t resemble me too much)???
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i just need a band-aid and a nap. i'll be fine. -James (as he probably has a big nasty cut and some other small scrapes / bruises)
patching up wounds | @cursedblessed tries to dismiss chiyo's worry!
" oh, is that so? "chiyo muses, careful as she dabs around a rather gnarly cut marring james' cheekbone and cleans the tender skin of blood. meeting his eyes for a brief moment, she reaches for the salve in her first aid kit and turns james' head with a gentle hand so she can have a better view of his cheek. a band-aid and a nap? of course he would downplay this sort of thing. " unless you want some new scars, i think you need a little more than that. "
the artist allows the silence to settle for a beat. her touch is as light as she can afford to make it while applying salve; it must sting regardless, but she hopes it isn't too bad. once she's done with the worst cut of the bunch, chiyo moves to work on a smaller scrape on james' chin and meets his eyes with a stern stare.
" now, you wanna tell me what happened, or do you wanna brush that off, too? "
#cursedblessed#chiyo vc: don't tell me it's not that bad when you're literally bleeding i will fight somebody james what happened??#she can't decide if she needs to be mad at him or someone else and either way she's just >:( let me patch you up shush >:(#asdfgh thanks for being patient while i've worked through asks and replies!!#i'm holding onto your asks and shaking them around in my head i promise <3#i had to be there to be loved | interactions#to restart this heart of mine | main
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if you like the mutual pining trope might i introduce you to the homie shitshow
#light.txt#right so basically this guy and i have been texting for quite some time#at first it was just about music and practice and stuff#but slowly we started talking about more random stuff#like exchanging posts we see which remind us of the other#(eg i send him stuff with the word “homie” and he sends me puns)#and so now we're homies 👍#but more recently when we chat he says stuff like#“love you too in a really gay way”#“💪 looks like a deformed peanut...... deez nuts”#“its okay [if you cant history] you just need to smoke harder”#“but you are also gay. does that mean i am gay??”#<- a small selection of the large variety of strange things#which is wonderful i love it#so the thing is (if you havent already figured it out) i like him . adn i tjink he likes me back .#which is going to be very interesting because i dont think either of us is going to confess first#but im considering . after i graduate from jc though. which is some time away.#this is all very funny bc i only thought of this possibility last night. im an idiot.#and uh. congrats if you made it this far . im not completely sure if what i think is correct so maybe reply and give me your thoughts?#idk man help :(
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I read the post on your sorcerous blog. I've tried typing a lot of things, but always back peddled. I know you're scared. I know you're worried and there's a lot going on. The most I can do is type this out.
You're a good person. You're a fun person and an interesting one. You've provided many things on this site for people who have taken an interest in your work. You've also made friends with some of those interested in your work.
You let them see a portion of yourself and some welcomed it. Some engaged with you. Learning a bit about you and invited you into their hearts. They've shared a piece of themselves with you and you grew.
Trying to type this out, I want you to be safe. I want your family to be safe. I want you to have more time with your family and go on with what you love to do. What you like to eat. What you want to try. What you want to drink, read, watch, listen to. So much more.
Some have left comments on your post. Each one hoping for the best for you. I presume some more familiar with you have typed in your dms to convey more personal conversations. How they cherish meeting you. Reading your work and talking with you.
Often, in our conversations you try to thank me for talking to you. I wish to thank you for responding to them and feeling comfortable to continue them and confide in me at times. Thank you for being you. Thank you for taking chances with writing and reading. I thank your parents and siblings for helping you become the person you are today. I thank the kids of your siblings for helping you.
Sol, I hope for things to go well for you. I hope for things to allow you and your family to remain safe. I hope I get to talk to you again.
i love you too
#I've been crying nonstop the past couple days it's so shameful I'm a grown adult I shouldn't be acting this way#I should be more calm about this I shouldn't worry the people around me#Everyone is trying to console me and I keep snapping at them I just can't pretend that this isn't happening#I can't feel anything. Nothing has a taste anymore and joy is gone from everything I've loved doing#All I can fucking do is cry and dissociate#I wish I was stronger I wish I was more reliable I wish this wasn't happening#All the airports closed. There are patrols in the streets and increased army presence#and I'm angry at the world for allowing this. at everything and everyone from the first human to invent rockets this deadly to the last#but my anger means nothing my sadness means nothing#I either run away to another country and endure the humiliation and racism. Or fight. Or#or make the most of my time and hope I'll survive#I just feel numb at this point. I'm really trying but I can't forget the grim reality#This isn't my reply to our monthly letter btw. I still want to answer the previous one first I just#I wanted to remind you that I do love you#Friends don't say it to each others much. I dislike that. I think we should be more loving with our friends#I don't even know your name nor could I recognise you on the street yet I still love you how silly is that#but it is real love. It is genuine care and affection. It exists I feel it and I smile when I read your texts#And I don't love you just for you to love me back. You're loved either way.#thank you for this. I hope I get to reply to your previous message. I hope I get to reply to many more letters in the future#I hope this numbness doesn't last. I hope my nieces and nephew get to grow up in a safe and not a war-torn country#did I ever tell you how much I adore the walnut cat nickname? thank you for blessing me with it#I just don't feel that alive anymore#i apologise for the short reply it's hard to think. I can't hear myself clearly#but hey I ate another donut today#but I don't remember the flavour#and I don't remember if i liked it or not
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i unlocked a new voice earlier btw but i cant do it that much bc it requires me to be nervously laughing and breathing very heavily and it had me gasping for breath for like 30 minutes
#it was scary it sounded like the joker. i was just recounting some annoying men i saw in the comments section of a video DNDNJFNF#God it was so fucking annoying. my issue is i love longform videos abt like. old videogames i might notve heard of or not rly thofught abt#and i found a new channel recently and its all wellmade yk. a couple of his jokes ive been Slightly looks but nothing too bad .#but godd. one of his comments like second top was Its so nice to see a rly long video abt a game i fangirl over ^_^#which is a sweet comment. but god every fucking reply was ERMMYOY MEAN FANBOY#um its crazy you said fangirl bc im a man and im also a faj of it sooo acrually um i think youll find yyyou meantto say just fan Or fanboy#bc im a man so i didnt fangirl just so your know bc im a man so probably you meant to say something else bc im a man btw if you did t know#Maleee man penis and balls and all that bc im a man fanboy you meant i think. like guys shut up#and the video it was on i think was one whwre he literally made a joke abt his audience being 98% male#and i was like Damn . i wonder why when yr community seems like such a good place to be a woman. but its whatever man. its not like im gonna#be in the comments section much i cant even comment on newpipe#i just like to look sometimes its like peoplewatching. bc sometimes i see funny or insightful comments#and other times i get to look at people and go Wow i dod not know people could be this stupid or dense or just annoying. and either is#exciting bc it means i get to learn about the beautiful and diverse range of human experience and communication. but goddd. i need to just#maybe not let myself look in the comments of videogame videos specifically#Sry for being a misandrist btw. and before you ask i do think everyman should kill himself which is clearly the only thing you could take#away from somebody lightly critiquing men in any way. and i love the male loneliness epidemic and i think we should make them lonelier or#whatever and men dont have real problems. all of this is clearly what i must think#sry. ive been on a very annoyed kick lately DNFNFNFNGN tooooo many men getting on my nerves. and im half man on my fathers side so you know#that i have experience with the subject#i love saying half man on my fathers side etc bc like obv the joke but also im bigender. so i am half man. kiiind of funny
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My mom is so obsessed with me it's so fucking annoying
#she like is afraid of me because im very opinionated (my sister told me) but she also very much wants to be me#like she will go out of her way to try and befriend my friends or be a mom to my friends#they end up not being friends with either of us because somehow me and my mom are fucking package deal#texting me 100 questions about what are you doing this weekend what are your plans are you excited how is your man how are your cats#do you like work still? how are your friends? are you okay? why arent you replying?#and this is every single day!!!! she will ask me what my plans are for friday every single day of the fucking week#if i dont have plans i get hassled#then if i do have plans then shes literally like okay so where are you going to park are you going to meet people i gope you meet people#i am grateful for her love#but i did move to a different state so i could some space and she just bought a fucking house 13 minutes away!!!!!#she would follow me to fucking antartica if she could#she also LOVES male validation like she lives and breathes for male approval and is also the reason i have an eating disorder so anyway#just annoyed lol
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You're fresh out of college and looking for a job. Everyone is hiring. Nobody who's "hiring" is actually hiring. You finally get a call back from somewhere you barely remember applying to (though the voice on the other end sounds synthesized). You pull up the job listing again real quick. The company name and the fact that the listing is for "Minion" are kind of concerning, but you know what, you've interviewed with enough evil corporations by now, you can handle one wearing its true colors on its sleeve. At this point it's a matter of making rent or moving back in with your parents, and as much as you love your family, you can't imagine spending another summer dealing with your brothers' antics. You agree to the interview.
The man who greets you is an enthusiastic older German(?) man who's either way too into cosplay or just that committed to the bit, judging by the lab coat. He made cookies. The tray of cookies is proffered to you by a ten-foot-tall robotic caricature of a 50s businessman. You take a deep breath to calm yourself. You bite into one of the cookies. It's delicious.
You ask the boss about his business model. "Oh you know, a little of this, a little of that, I bounce from project to project a lot." He mentions that his end goal is becoming the undisputed ruler of the surrounding counties. "Really? Not the whole world?" you ask. "I like to set realistic goals," he replies.
As he gives you the tour of his "evil lair," ingrained instincts are screaming at you to report this guy to some kind of authority figure. You remember the salary. You decide that you can always bust him after getting your first paycheck.
The boss asks when you can start. Caught off guard, you say "tomorrow?". Your boss(?) says he'll see you then.
On the way out, you bump into your stepbrother's girlfriend. Your boss introduces her as his daughter. You both silently agree to sidestep the subject for now and act like this is your first time meeting.
You show up to your first day of work. Your boss is putting the finishing touches on a giant machine that was definitely not there yesterday. You are nonplussed. You ask him what it's for and he launches into a convoluted explanation involving his parents always forcing him to put his shirts on backwards so the tag was in front. You think he should probably talk to a therapist.
Your brothers' exotic pet breaks down the wall. You stare at him. He stares at you. Incredulously, you say his name. "Oh, good, you two already know each other!" your boss says. You mention that you used to live with him. "What? Perry the Platypus, you never mentioned having a roommate."
This is what I like to imagine Candace Flynn's life is like, post P&F.
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