#to restart this heart of mine | main

[quietlyblooms]

@hehosts gets a starter just 'cause <3

she stands before a door. it's red like a warning, and as many times as she's walked down this street full of vendors, chiyo can't recall seeing it before. yet it must have been here for some time; there aren't any signs indicating the arrival of a new business. there aren't any signs, actually, to give her an idea of what to expect. whatever lies behind that door is a mystery.

curiosity has damned many a person. will she be yet another?

chiyo doesn't enter that door for a few weeks. she glances at it every time she passes by, but she always finds a reason to move on. there are errands to run, someone to meet, a chapter to finish illustrating. there's always some excuse until there isn't. one evening, chiyo finds herself without any obligations and strolling down that street without realizing where she's headed. she stares at the door for a long minute, worrying at her lip. well, what's the worst that could really happen?

she walks up the steps, opens the door to the smell of teakwood, and there is... chiyo blinks. low, intimate lighting partially conceals his face, but a man sits at his desk. unsure, the blonde takes a step back. though she can't get a good look at him, she can feel his gaze upon her, feeling something akin to a lion gazing down at a mouse.

" i'm sorry, " she apologizes, her typical, friendly smile plastered on in an instant. " i didn't realize this was an office. my curiosity got the best of me, looks like. "

[quietlyblooms]

what's one more beat for her heart to skip? though, really, she isn't " using her feminine wiles " on deng -- it's just her usual smoke and mirrors, a friendly smile and bright energy that most respond well to. that doesn't count, right? " getting along is better than... whatever we had going on, " chiyo admits. it's the truth. " it might be nice if we could be friends, don't you think? "

❝ i do, ❞ he says almost agreeably. he nods along with the sentiment. ❝ i do love to play. i don't get to play with pretty girls often. that man often sends me to deal with more ... unsavory sorts, so ji-hun gets all the pretty girls for himself. [ ... ] hey! you're not using your feminine wiles on me, are you? that might work on ji-hun ... but it won't work on me ... if you really want to get along. ❞

[becomingmina]

FUCKBOY MIN 3. (ENDING WITH HYUNE) little series w/ LEE KNOW + HYUNJIN

18+ ONLY MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

pairing: hwang hyunjin x female reader x lee minho genre + warnings: smut mdni!, reader's first time with hyunjin, teasing, fluff, tiny bit of trauma mentioned wc: 5.1k mina's note: I’m sorry this took forever. 🥴!!! I really wanted to showcase Hyunjin and Y/N’s playful relationship in this. 🤍 Anyways, to the Hyune girlies here is your ending.

other works here ; any comments and thoughts you can drop them here ; ty for reading.

series chapter ➵ part one, part two

The feeling doesn’t go away, it’s heavy it’s numbing your body. You pull away from Hyunjin’s lips, hands on his chest to help you detach. You can’t keep his eye contact, letting out a heavy breath.

"Hyune, I." you look up over his shoulder and catches Minho eyes as he leans in towards Bella.

Minho stops to observe you, observing your next move. For a second the world stops, everyone's face was blurred, the music goes from blaring loud to a long beep, something you hear when your brain restarts similar to the sound in movies when the main character watches someone close to them die. It was only you and Minho.

And just like the main character watched them died, you did the same with your love for Minho. Everything that had to do with loving Minho was drained from your head as you hold eye contact with him. His eyes carry so many regrets and guilt and you know he was taken back when your eyes flicker back to meet Hyunjin’s.

The feeling that was in your chest has now spread to your whole body. Instead of pushing it away like you always did, you accepted it and a chuckle falls from your lips. You had come to realise it was heart was falling for him the entire time and you have been innocently guarding it, unaware he was making you feel that way.

Hyunjin removed his hands from your waist, watching you converse with your own thoughts, assuming he must've of took it too far with the kiss.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that,” he apologised but you shook your head at him.

You stood on your tip toes, gripping the loose material on his waist to steady yourself and connected your lips onto his again. You were finally in the right head space to perceive his kiss. It was so angelic and tender, it was like your missing puzzle piece. It was making your stomach flip, you’re giggly, you were definitely feeling butterflies the whole time.

Memories with him start to flood your head and can hear his cute giggles ring in your ears. The corner of your lips starts to curl up into the kiss as you think back to the peck you gave him in the car on your first date, causing him to blush. His lips start to move, perfectly melding together with yours now that he feels more confident. His hands comfortably rest around the small of your back as you both block out everyone and everything around you.

“You okay?” He breathlessly questioned, pulling away.

“My heart keeps fluttering around you Hyune,” you admit nervously with a chuckle, breaking eye contact.

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm.”

“You want to come back to mine?” He asks and you nod taking his hand.

“Y/N, wait,” you don't know how it happened, but Minho was beside you, gripping your other hand. The way you're holding onto Hyunjin tighter makes him trust you hadn't changed your mind, and so he lets you talk, not that he would ever force you not to anyways.

You turn to Minho and despite the awful and hurtful things he had done to you, it wasn’t in your nature to hate him. Especially when he looks hurt and confused. You’ve been in that position before and it sucks.

“Hyune and I am going to go home now,” you broke the tension, speaking tenderly just like how you always did in the past with the Minho that you liked. And you hate to be impatient, but you only wanted to be with Hyunjin right now so you shut down Minho before he could even get a thought out. “Get home safely, Minho,” you say to him with a small smile.

Minho let’s go of your hand, watching leave with the other man, not turning back once to look at him. Although the other night you made it clear to him you weren’t with Hyunjin, tonight it was clear that you were, and he didn’t even need you to confirm it.

Minho never wanted it to be like this. If only he didn't treat you like that, saying all those cruel things to you or using you to get back at Hyunjin for whatever reason. If only he had told you he liked you back, told you he loved you back, he would have been the man you left this party happily with. He hates himself; he hates that he lost a good girl, that even after all of this after getting her heart broken multiple times that she was still able to treat him well, still wishing he gets home safe. Regrets remain around him as he watches you realise your worth.

When you got inside Hyunjin’s place, he instantly kneels down to help you take off your heels, rubbing your ankle where the strap was irritating you all night. The gesture was so romantic, but you wanted to tease him a bit.

"Don't tell me you have a feet fetish Hyune?" you joked watching him lift his head up at you. The image of him looking up you from his angle made your heartbeat faster. You didn't expect him to look so fine, so sexy like this. You fall into a trail of thoughts of him using those lips on you again, and how he would look hovering over you..

"What if I do? You going to allow me to take pics of them?" He giggles back interrupting your thoughts.

"Maybe," you played along opening a hand out to him to help him up.

"Come," he pulls into his room.

You have been over his house once, early days of your friendship, waiting in his living room as he retrieves a camera part from his room. You have never reached his room, so you didn’t expect all of this. It was neat and organised, lights were dimmed down, plain white sheets with a couple of fluffy pillows, his bed was made so perfectly. It smells like him, so manly but so pure. He had a collection of cameras lined up along his dresser, a couple of canvas of his beautiful artworks hung up on the wall and on his table. His room was kind of romantic if you could find one word for it.

“Your room is so dreamy. Makes me wanna fall asleep,” you compliment, finding your spot at the edge of his bed next to him.

“You’re dreamy,” he cheekily remarks.

“How many girls did you say that to?” you response.

“Only one," you were getting ready the cheesy line coming next. "Some girl in my art class last year, I think her name was Lia?" he teased, catching you by surprise making you frown. “I’m joking, a couple of girls actually,” he laughs.

“Hwang Hyunjin,” you say a little firmly as you eyed him.  

“Only you, Y/N. Promise,” he says watching you soften your gaze.

Silence fills the air as you both hold eye contact. In most situations like this, you and Hyunjin would crack up laughing at the quietness, but this instant was so romantic.

His hand comes to cup your face and shortly after his lips crashed into yours again. It still got your heart pumping like it was the first time. You let him set the pace and he kisses a bit harder now that you’re both alone. It became more desperate and rougher when his swiped his tongue over your lips and into your mouth. He pulls you closer and you desperately pull at his shirt. Quiet moans fall into the kiss as you feel the sensation spread down between your legs. Soon you were on your back with him on-top as his free hand explores your body, resting on the material that was on top of your chest, almost groping your boob. It felt so overwhelming, so good that you feel yourself start to get wet. Hyunjin feels the same; hot and bothered. You feel his erection pressed to your thigh and you both moan that slipped at the contact.

You know what he craves, and you wanted it too, so fucking badly. You wanted to feel his lips down your neck, wanted his big hands groping your flesh, wanted him to fill you up and get rid of the throbbing ache between your thighs but you also wanted to take it slow. It was happening all too fast, and you didn’t know where both your feelings stood. Hyunjin could never hurt you, but you didn’t want to get attached to him too early. What if you start to become possessive like the past? When he directed his kisses to your neck, you figured it was the time to tell him.

“Hyune..” you were panting, hands gripping his shoulder to stop him.

“You don’t want this?” He softly asked feeling bad, immediately stopping and dragging you up with him to sit.

“No, I do!" you protested shaking your head.

“Is everything okay?”

“I just.. Do you like..” he notices your hesitation, eyes wavering unable to look at him. He lets out a gentle scoff at himself, it became clear to him he hadn’t told you about his feelings.

“I like you,” He searches for your hand to hold and you finally look at him. “I really like you Y/N. Like, I want to date you,” he admitted, with pink cheeks.

Your heart raced at his confession, a smile finally pulling on your face.

“You okay?” He asked when you don’t reply.

“I’m okay now,” you nod.

“Sorry I should have told you sooner, I just thought my feelings were clear already baby,” he chuckles. He had never called you that before and it got all the hairs on your body standing.

“I just needed to hear it Hyune,” you replied shyly.

“You’re so cute,” he taps your nose.

“I like you too,” it was your turn to confess and his face lights up brighter, grinning ear to ear. “I want it,” you tug at the material of his shirt bunching by his waist again. “I want to go there,” he knew you were referring to sex. “But is it okay if we take it slow?” you ask a lot more tentative than you proposed.

Hyunjin listens attentively at your words, but he doesn't answer you.

"I really like how you kissed me and I.. I want you to keep kissing me.. Just not further.. Yet,” you clarified with bright red cheeks, a little embarrassed but still hoping he gets the idea. “I ruined it didn’t I-”

"-I love it when you get flustered, baby,” he cuts you off before pecking your cheeks.

Not even a month ago you were crying about Minho, so Hyunjin knows you need some time to adjust. He just wants you to be okay first and if that means getting left high and dry every time he kisses you, he was willing to wait.

“Okay, we will go at your pace," he kisses the back of your hand before pulling you up from his bed.

"How about we wash up and watch a movie?” He tried to direct your attention elsewhere so you're not so embarrassed. You nod in agreement. "Do you want to share the bed Y/N? or is it too much?" Hyunjin took into consideration everything you had just mentioned.

"Yeah.. Where else would you sleep?" you questioned.

"Me?" He points to himself while tipping his head sideways, puzzled. "I was going to sleep in my comfy bed while you take the couch," he laughs.

"Oh." You rolled your eyes at him.

"I'm only kidding. We can share the bed if you want-"

"I want to Hyune," you cut him off with a smile.

"Come, let me show you around," he walks you toward his ensuite, helping you get familiar with where his stuff, showing you where the skin care is kept, where he stores his extra toiletries, everything. You can’t lie, with him being so boyfriend-material and so domestic like this, you could get used to it easily and it got you excited about the future.

“I'll get you some comfortable clothes, so throw all your clothes in the basket,” he says before closing the door behind him.

After you showered, you put on his shirt and shorts he got you and walked back to his bedroom. Hyunjin was sitting on the edge of the bed on his phone patiently waiting in nothing but pants. It was also the first time you’ve seen him topless like this. You gulped, feeling yourself fall into your lewd thoughts again. Take it slow Y/N, quit thinking about Hyunjin like that.

Hyunjin has the same thoughts when he saw you walk him. You were so pretty with your natural blushed cheeks, your glossy lips, drowning in his big t-shirt. It doesn’t help that the material was so thin making his eyes go straight to your perky tits.

“You wanna lie down in bed first? Pick out a movie? I’ll just wash up and be right back,” Hyunjin says, concealing his pervert thoughts, also snapping you out of your own.

“Okay, but come back quick then,” You replied, unable to hide your neediness.

“Why? You gonna miss me? Don’t wanna be away from me longer than 5 minutes?” He teased getting up to close the gap between you. His hands snaked around your waist pulling you close. You’re flustered again at the intimacy.

“No..” you lie. “I’m just scared.. What if someone breaks in? What am I suppose to do? You would have to fight them naked Hyunjin,” you never fail to charm him, causing him to finger flick your forehead as he giggles.

As Hyunjin comes back from his shower you were under the covers on the left side of his bed. His heart melts seeing you on your side, nearly passed out with the tv remote in your hand. He chuckles to himself making you turn your head into his directions.

“No one broke in by the way,” you say as you shuffled about in his bed, making space for him.

“Good, no-one tried to steal you,” he says before turning off the lights and crawling under the blanket next to you. “You look tired, maybe we should just sleep,” Hyunjin notices your disoriented state, grabbing the remote from you before pulling you onto his chest.

“Only a little, but I still want to be around you,” you mumbled, instantly draping your arm across his stomach latching yourself onto him.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he says gently, stroking your arm.

Hyunjin soon soothes you to sleep, one hand rubbing your arm and the other massaging your scalp as the movie plays in the background. He stays up a little bit more to admire you. He can’t believe his perfect girl is here in his bed tonight, trying her best to stay awake just to be with him.

You woke up to Hyunjin adjusting the blanket on you, pulling it up to your chin. The sunlight from his window is making it hard to look at each other but you both try your best anyways. You comb the long pieces of hair away from his face before your tiny hand rest on his cheeks.

“Hi,” you say in an airy voice, breaking the silence.

“You slept well?”

“Mhm, what about you?” It was probably one of the best sleep you had. Most definitely because you were in Hyunjin’s bed with him cuddling you.

“I had the sweetest dream,” he returns the favour and moves the loose strands hair from your face to behind your ear. “It was about this sweet girl,” he raised an eyebrow at you and you know what he was talking about.

“What happen?” You played along.

“She told me she likes me. It almost felt real,” he added.

“Hmmm really?” You tenderly say.

“Yes. She clinged onto me the whole night but I think it was just from the alcohol she had last night.”

“I’m sure she would cling onto you even if she was sober.” Your hand travelled down to his waist to prove it to him.

“You think?”

“I know.” You nod moving closer for a cuddle.

“She also told me something else. She told me she likes my kisses and wanted me to keep kissing her,” there was his dorky smile again, his eyes turning into half-moon shapes.

“Mhmm, maybe you should give her what she wants. And keep kissing her,” you hinted, hoping he would get the message.

And of-course he does. He closes the gap between you, his hand tilting your head up. You guys picked up where you guys had left last night. And there it goes again, the tingle going straight to your core. You don’t know what gotten into you but you just feel so much tension this morning, so you pull him onto you as you rolled on your back. Hyunjin hovers on-top of you but he doesn’t position himself fully atop, he knows he can’t help himself if he is slotted between your legs. He was already so hard and he is second guessing if making out was even a good idea so early in the morning. You felt the same, you were already at getting wet downstairs, how embarrassing would it be if he noticed it when you were the one who wanted to go slow.

The room was filled with the wet sounds as you both continue to go at each other’s lips. You guys became desperate teenagers again, slipping hands under each other’s shirt just grazing across your bare stomachs as moans falls from your mouths. Hyunjin’s dominant side makes an appearance as he grasps your wrist pinning them to the side of your head before he pulls away to continue the hot kisses down your neck. You find him extremely hot for that, it flipped a switch.

“Hyune?” You say and he instantly lift his head up from your neck.

“Sorry, you’re just really pretty in the morning I couldn’t help myself.. But slow, we will take it slow,” he breathlessly replied.

“Fuck.. I know I said that, but I’m..” you couldn’t find the words nor look him in the eyes. You needed more; the adrenaline was rushing through out your body.

“Hmm? What is it baby?” He knows where this was going to go but he wanted to tease you a bit.

“You’re making me really horny right now,” you admit, feeling yourself go red, unable to hide yourself as he still has your hands locked by your head. He softly chuckles at your confession.

"So, you’re going back on your words now? My sweet girl," the pet name making your stomach turn as you watch his eyes fills with lust.

“Only because..”

“Because what? Hmm?” You loved every second of his teasing.

“Because I want to show you how sweet I can be,”

“But you did already the day I meet you and in my dream too,” he raises a brow.

"Okay but in bed-wise.. Unless you don’t want it?" you teased him back.

"I do!” He was eager to reply. “I want it so much baby, but are you sure?” He rubs your palm with his thumb, gesture so sweet he was making sure it was alright for you.

“I’m sure Hyune, please,” You consented.

“You want to go all the way or-”

“All the way. I want you..” you practically begged.

“Yeah? Want to show me how sweet you can be in bed?"

"Mhmm,” you move from his grasp to hold him by his shoulders. He takes this moment to finally slot himself in-between your legs.

“Good. Cause you’re making me really horny too,” he attaches his lips to your neck again, this time rolling his hips into yours, letting his clothed erection pressed up against your clothed cunt. You could feel how big he was already; it was almost like there was only a thin layer between your private parts.

"God, you feel so good already Hyune," a moan escaped from your lips, this was all too hot for you.

Hyunjin continues to suck on your neck leaving you marks. He feels himself getting lightheaded rubbing on you like this. He wanted to last a little longer, but he can’t help how fast the blood is travelling down to his dick, he was desperate to cum already.

“Can I.. Need to taste you baby,” he mumbles shuffling back sitting on his heels and tugging at his shorts you were wearing. You comply lifting your hips up as he pulls them.

His eyes widened, letting out an airy chuckle as he sees the shorts go past your mound.

“Heh- god, no panties?” He asked, dick twitching in his own shorts at the sight.

“You told me to toss everything in the basket I-,” you tried to defend yourself. Maybe you should have spent an extra 10 minutes to wash and dry your panties with his hair dryer last night.

“-You listen to me so well sweetheart. Such an obedient girl,” Hyunjin praises you before pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of your lips. You loved this side of him so much so romantic but so dominant. “Baby, I’m not wearing anything under too. Why wonder you drove me crazy,” he bites his bottom lip, pulling down the rest of your shorts and throwing them behind him. “Can’t believe my shorts touched you there before I could,” he banters eyeing your bare pussy.

“You’re so annoying Hyune,” you playfully rolled your eyes at him.

“Here, let me help with your shirt too,” he pulls you up and got rid of your shirt before you take your position again.

Hyunjin smirks to himself like a dummy as he stares at your body, eyes tracing every curve, every mark, everything. You feel a bit shy being bare from the hips down, knees bent on the bed on display for him like this, especially when he is still fully clothed.

“You’re so beautiful. So sexy. I’m so turned on right now,” he says finally pulling his shirt over his head, so you don’t feel so exposed. You desperately try to sit up wanting to touch him, but he pushes you back down on your back, a little bit too hard, surprising you.

“Ow-”

“Sorry!” He laughs. “Let me have a taste first, and then I’m all yours,” he adds, hands opening up your knees wider so he can see your pretty glistening cunt again.

“Okay,” you sided eyed him. “But you owe me though for pushing me back so hard,” you say.

“I’ll let you cum first, how does that sound?” He taunts you.

“Okay fine.” You gave in, happily.

He lied down on his stomach, so his face is now levelled with your cunt. His eyes rolls back as he takes in your sweet scent, his hands gripping your thighs softly to keep you open for him. You whined as his tongue drags through your folds. Your eyes were already rolling back, feeling the tension already building up in your stomach.

“Hyune, more,” you whined, and he continues to make out with your cunt, slurping up your wetness with his tongue, then sucking on your clit.

“You taste so sweet, fuck-” he coos, holding you more roughly as he starts to speed up. Your hands latch onto his hair and you start to grind against his tongue, spilling out that you’re close now. A couple more rubs to your clit from his muscle and you let yourself go, your body shaking as you cum around his mouth. Hyunjin hands comes to hold yours, locking them onto the bed as he licks up the remaining of your juices.

“Sweet heart, you’re so addictive,” Hyunjin sits up on his heels again, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. You were already fucked beneath him, cheeks red, your shirt exposing your stomach and your under boobs, a thin layer of sweat on forehead and Hyunjin was loving every detail of you like this.

“Hyune?” You say, searching for his hands. “Can I have you now baby?” You asked with big eyes and of course Hyunjin gives in, pulling you up so you’re sat as well.

“How do you want me sweet girl?” he winked to you; the ball was in your court now.

“Want you ontop.. I love how you held my wrist before,” you whisper as your hands tug on his shorts pulling them down his thighs, releasing his cock in the process.

You practically drool at him. He was so long, so thick and pink. You see all the veins and the red tip leaking with pre cum.

“Mm-so hard for you,” he says as he takes his shorts off completely, holding the base of his dick, looking at you.

You gulped replacing his hands with yours. Hyunjin squirmed, lifting his hips a little up when your small hand gripped him.

“Can I have you raw?” you asked impatiently. “Want to feel all of you,” Hyunjin’s dick twitch again but this time at your words, unable to hide his excitement. He pushed you on your back and gets in between your legs again.

“Fuck- you’re so dirty my sweet girl,” he bites his lip before kissing you.

“Only for you Hyune,” you say.

“You’re going to ruin me Y/N.”

Hyunjin lifts up from you again and grabs your wrist pinning them to the side of his head.

“Keep them there, I wanna hold them when I fuck you.” Hyunjin lines himself up to your entrance and slowly pushes in his tip. Your face scrunches up at the stretch. He waits until you’re relaxed before pushing the rest of his length in.

Hyunjin filled you up so perfectly, you were so warm and wet around him. He starts to move his hips slowly not to hurt you. Your moaning encourages him to go faster, and he was confident to go at his pace now with rough and deep thrusts.

“You’re so tight baby, so tiny for me,” he coos, his hands coming back to hold your wrist gently as he continues to thrust into you.

Hyunjin senses you were close evidently by your own hips moving with his, loud slapping sounds where your skin meets with each snap filled the air. His eyes rolls back as he feels you clench around him.

“Mmm- cumming Hyune-,” you whimpered, hiding your face in the pillow.

 His feels his own orgasm reaching, and he grips onto your hand tighter.

“Oh fu- Where can I cum baby?” He grunts in your ear.

“On my pussy,” you feel him twitch at your words and he pulls out instantly gripping his length painting your pussy with his release.

“Love it when you whisper such a sweet things to me baby.” He managed to get out after a few moans, emptying every last drop on you before collapsing on-top of you.

You were ruined, exhausted. A wave of satisfaction washes over you as your hands wrapped around him. Hyunjin presses a kiss in the crook of you neck then quietly smiles to himself. You both stay like his for a little bit, catching your breath.

You feel him get up from the bed, a little nervous about his next move.

“Hyune where are you going?” you reached out to grab his wrist.

“Getting you a towel baby,” he places a quick kiss to your temple. “Just wanna clean my mess on my sweet girl,” he says, and you let him go. He rushes to his bathroom wetting a small towel in warm water and squeezing it before rushing back out to you who was patiently waiting on the bed.

“Back!” He says climbing back in the bed and parting your legs.

“You afraid I was going to leave you?” His tone so tender and you nod. “Never, you’re stuck with me,” he wipes gently at your soft skin.

“Can I ask you a question Y/N?” Hyunjin asks, tone a little bit more serious than usual as he continues to wipe random places from your thigh to your legs.

“Hmm?” You replied, preparing yourself for his question.

“Can I take a photo of your feet?” He says as the towel reaches your feet.

“You’re so annoying,” you giggled, quickly removing your feet from his hands and he laughs at your reaction.

“I was only kidding. Give me back the feet please,” he says.

Hyunjin throws the towel into the pile of clothes on the floor before lying next to you.

“Come here,” he pulls you into the same position you both were in last night, stroking your hair. Your heart flutters at the gesture.

“Hyune?” he hums in response. “Was I sweet?”

“The sweetest, my sweet girl,” he says.

The rest of the morning was spend in bed as you both trace random shapes with your fingers on each other’s body talking about sweet nothings.

“I didn’t hurt you did I baby?”

“No, you were perfect,” you replied cheeks flushed.

“Let me know if I ever do something that upsets you,” he replies tenderly.

“You could never Hyune.”

Your phone buzzes you both look to the direction of the vibration, which was the side table on Hyunjin’s side.

“Can you pass me my phone?” You ask and he reached over handing you the phone.

You unlocked it and there was a message from Minho.

Min Can we talk?

“You gonna answer him?” Hyunjin asked, a bit discouraged after peeking at Minho’s name on your phone.

“Nope not now,” you can tell Hyunjin is a little be sulky evidently due to his pout. You tap the editing option on your contact app making sure to tilt your phone a bit up so Hyunjin can see your next move.

“You okay?” You asked, adding ho to the end of Minho’s name on your phone. You tap back to Hyunjin’s name and to his surprise you already had him set as Hyune. Hyunjin nods at your question, suppressing his smile.

“You know I like you right?” You chuckle at his cuteness, adding a ❤️ to the end of his name before locking your phone and throwing it to the side.

“Yeah, you told me last night,” he replies cutely.

“Do you believe me?” He only nods at your question. “God damn it,” you voiced trying to sound a bit angsty but ended up sounding cute instead. “I was going to convince you how much I like you by letting you have your way with me,” you rolled your eyes making him giggle.

“Can I have my way anyways?” He says hovering over you, marking your neck again.

“Only if you let me see what I’m set as on your phone?” You teased.

“Send me a message then,” he tested and you search for your phone again.

Shortly after you hear a bing from his phone and he takes a look before passing it to you.

My sweet girl ❤️ Hi boyfriend! 🥰

“You’re so cute baby,” he says smiling at your message. You pull him down into you hiding your face in his chest as you smile uncontrollably at your contact name.

{🏷️ Taglist: @redstayrosie ; @konstanceee ; @farfromsugafanfic ; @realrintaro ; @bmnyy ; @binnies-minsung-fanclub ; @itsacatastrophe-xo ; @jyu-037 } Sorry if I missed anyone ❤️‍🩹

[quietlyblooms]

@ofurizen enters the garden! | ♡

chiyo isn't sure what's more embarrassing right now -- the fact that she can't remember her neighbor's name or the fact that he definitely saw her pass out. though, in her defense, anyone might pass out after encountering their first demon, particularly if they couldn't breathe through most of it. but that thought doesn't make the mixture of emotions in her chest any less unpleasant, nor does it calm the churning of her stomach ( god, she better not get sick on top of everything else ). chiyo still squeezes her eyes shut, pressing palms against her eyelids as if the pressure might do something for her.

it doesn't. figures.

" how'd you get rid of that thing? " the artist tries not to sound as ill as she feels, tries to place the focus anywhere else but on her. " gotta admit i didn't have ' watching my neighbor brawl with a monster ' on my bingo card for this year. "

[chosetherose]

Updated as of 6/30

The Eras Tour *Surprise Songs*

Taylor said her goal is to not repeat each show’s surprise songs so I thought it would be fun to track them as the tour goes on! Black strikethrough is included in the main set list. Purple strikethrough are included in the main set list but have been switched up at some show/s. Blue songs Taylor played but might be repeated due to messing up.

Taylor Swift

Tim McGraw (3/17) • Picture to Burn • Teardrops on My Guitar (5/5) • A Place in This World (4/22) • Cold as You (4/23) • The Outside • Tied Together with a Smile • Stay Beautiful• Should’ve Said No (5/19) • Mary’s Song (Oh My My My) • Our Song (3/24) • I’m Only Me When I’m with You (6/30) • Invisible (5/20) • A Perfectly Good Heart

Fearless

Fearless • Fifteen (5/6) • Love Story • Hey Stephen (5/14) • White Horse (3/25) • You Belong With Me • Breathe• Tell Me Why• You’re Not Sorry (4/21) • The Way I Loved You • Forever & Always (5/13) • The Best Day (5/14) • Change • Jump Then Fall (4/2) • Untouchable • Come In With The Rain • Superstar • The Other Side Of The Door (4/28) • You All Over Me (6/3) • Mr. Perfectly Fine (6/16) • We Were Happy • That’s When • Don’t You • Bye Bye Baby • Today was a fairytale (4/22)

Speak Now

Mine (5/7) • Sparks Fly (5/5) • Back To December • Speak Now (4/13, Taylor restarted part of the song but did not confirm it could be played again) • Dear John (6/24) • Mean (4/15) • The Story Of Us (6/17) • Never Grow Up • Enchanted • Better Than Revenge • Innocent• Haunted (6/9) • Last Kiss • Long Live • Ours (3/31) • If This Was A Movie (6/23) • Superman

Red

State Of Grace (3/18) • Red (5/21) • Treacherous (4/13) • I Knew You Were Trouble • All Too Well • 22 • I Almost Do (6/9) • We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together • Stay Stay Stay • The Last Time (6/16) • Holy Ground (5/27) • Sad Beautiful Tragic (3/31) • The Lucky One (4/2) • Everything Has Changed • Starlight • Begin Again (4/23) • The Moment I Knew (6/4) • Come Back… Be Here (5/12) • Girl At Home • Ronan • Better Man (5/19) • Nothing New • Babe • Message In A Bottle • I Bet You Think About Me (4/30) • Forever Winter • Run • The Very First Night • All Too Well – 10 Minute Version

1989

Welcome To New York (5/28) • Blank Space • Style • Out Of The Woods (5/6, Taylor confirmed it might be played again) • All You Had To Do Was Stay • Shake It Off • I Wish You Would (6/2) • Bad Blood • Wildest Dreams • How You Get The Girl (4/30) • This Love (5/13) • I Know Places • Clean (4/1, Taylor confirmed it might be played again, 5/28) • Wonderland (4/21) • You Are In Love • New Romantics

Reputation

…Ready For It? • End Game • I Did Something Bad • Don’t Blame Me • Delicate • Look What You Made Me Do • So It Goes… • Gorgeous (4/29) • Getaway Car (5/26) • King Of My Heart • Dancing With Our Hands Tied • Dress • This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things • Call It What You Want • New Year’s Day

Lover

I Forgot That You Existed • Cruel Summer • Lover • The Man • The Archer • I Think He Knows (5/21) • Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince • Paper Rings (6/23) • Cornelia Street • Death By A Thousand Cuts (4/1, Taylor confirmed it might be played again) • London Boy • Soon You’ll Get Better • False God (5/27) • You Need To Calm Down • Afterglow • Me! • It’s Nice To Have A Friend • Daylight (6/24) • All of the Girls You’ve Loved Before

Folklore

The 1 (replaced IS multiple shows) • Cardigan • The Last Great American Dynasty • Exile with Bon Iver • My Tears Ricochet • Mirrorball (3/17) • Seven (spoken, 6/17) • August • This Is Me Trying (3/18) • Illicit Affairs • Invisible String (replaced by T1 multiple shows) • Mad Woman (4/15) • Epiphany • Betty • Peace • Hoax • The Lakes (6/2)

Evermore

Willow • Champagne Problems • Gold Rush (5/12) • Tis The Damn Season • Tolerate It • No Body, No Crime • Happiness • Dorothea • Coney Island (4/28) • Ivy • Cowboy Like Me (3/25) • Long Story Short • Marjorie • Closure • Evermore (6/30) • Right Where You Left Me •It’s Time To Go

Midnights

On 4/14 Taylor changed the rule: ALL SONGS ON MIDNIGHTS MAY BE REPEATED. I’m adding the dates to the midnights surprise songs but they will remain in black text since they can be repeated.

Lavender Haze • Maroon (5/26) • Anti-Hero • Snow on the Beach (3/24) • You’re on Your Own, Kid (4/14) • Midnight Rain • Question…? (5/20) • Vigilante Shit • Bejeweled • Labyrinth • Karma • Sweet Nothing • Mastermind • The Great War (4/14) • Bigger Than the Whole Sky • Paris • High Infidelity (4/29) • Glitch • Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve (5/7) • Dear Reader • Hits Different (6/4)

Other

I don’t wanna live forever (6/3)

[awkwardgamergirl]

Best games for mental health&relax?

As someone who deals with anxiety and depression when I want to relax or am just feeling low and drained I’ll usually choose what others would consider “cozy games” because I don’t want any stress from shooters, strategy games, or anything that has a lot of stakes. I’ll do switch games for now since it’s my main console but I do have a 3ds, psvita, and my computer so I’ll make a list of those games later 💕

So my favorite games to relax to are:

~ stardew valley~ (you already knew this was coming) it’s just a really cute game with lots of options on how you can spend your time. You can farm, fish, forage, travel the mines, talk to the towns people, interact with love interests. There is just a lot to do in it and it has a really cozy small town cottagecore vibe that a lot of people find relaxing. Amazing replay value. I have like four different lives just so I can choose different farms, partners, things like that.

~ animal crossing~ (second most obvious answer) we all know animal crossing is a chill low stakes game that has a lot of similar elements I listed for stardew valley. You get to interact with cute little animals, decorate your house and character, forage, fish, find fossils, shop. It’s just a relaxing and positive game and is very popular for a reason. Idk about replay value because I really couldn’t imagine deleting my island tbh.

~ fashion dreamer~ if you like cute dress up type games this one is a decent lil game. It’s got lots of different styles for whatever your lil fashion heart desires and you basically walk around dressing up characters and they rate your outfits. It’s from the creators of style savvy and while it’s super cute I would wait for it to go on sale because it’s a bit overpriced imo. Style savvy is definitely the way to go if you have a ds/3ds. Still cute though. Don’t know about replay value because I’m fairly new to the game and haven’t come close to finishing or restarting anything.

~ unpacking~ this one is pretty cute and definitely a game that helps with anxiety. It’s a relaxed little puzzle game that unlocks parts of the story as you go along organizing each room to your home. You can try to solve the puzzles or you can just organize the furniture to your liking. Either way you want to play it’s super cute and relaxing and has some decent replay value after you complete it.

~calico~ super cute game where you run a cat cafe in a magical town with unique characters, little missions, and lots of cats you can pet and play with. There is magic, desserts, and you can ride giant cats like horses. Super soothing game. Character customization and decorating your cafe. The only drawback is it can get a bit glitchy but for the cuteness and the price I have no complaints. The music is really cute too. Not sure about replay value because my cafe is so cute I wouldn’t want to start over.

~coffee talk~ you run a coffee shop in the future and talk to all the incoming guests and learn their stories as you give them their coffee. This one is super relaxing and how I like to spend my evenings before bed if I want that extra cozy time to destress and relax. Cute art as well with different species and how they interact. I haven’t restarted yet but I’m sure there will be replay value with just how cozy and in depth the story is.

~rune factory 4 remastered~ this was originally a 3ds game they remastered for the switch and it’s so amazing that they did. One of my favorite 3ds games that is an offshoot of the harvest moon series with very pretty art, farming, cooking and crafting, romance, monster fighting, and just really fantastic story telling. Very cozy and hard not to get sucked into. Such a gorgeous game imo. Fantastic replay value.

~good pizza, great pizza~ you run a lil pizza shop and upgrade it to get better ingredients and equipment. Super cute chill game to pass the time and hard not to spend hours mindlessly making pizzas. Haven’t replayed it because I haven’t completed it but I imaging replaying it would be fun because you’re just making pizza and unlocking different ingredients. Relaxing game with cute art.

~monster prom~ cute game where you have to convince one of the monsters to go to prom with you. Funny writing, pretty art, and the ability to romance any gender while choosing your pronouns. It’s funny, the game play is question based, and it’s like little rounds of 15 mins and either you get them to go to prom or you get rejected. Then you get to try again. Replay value is obviously strong because I keep playing it no matter how often I’m rejected 🥲 being real though this game is funny, unique, and worth the price. I just have to beat the first one so I can try the second.

~what comes after~ you play as a character on a train of ghosts and you process the grief of passing to the afterlife and try to learn and console the other ghosts on the train who are passing. Pretty game that is mostly story based and worth a try. I haven’t finished this game so I’m not to sure on the replay value.

~little mouse’s encyclopedia~ a cute little game where you play as a little mouse exploring the outside and the dirt and you spend your time finding other little animals and bugs and plants and you read about them and what they are. Cute little educational game I purchased because I loved the art that ended up being super cute in the long run.

Honorable mentions:

- speed dating for ghosts (cute funny little game where you go on dates with ghosts. Short, sweet, and to the point. Decently priced for how quick you get through the game)

- cattails (you play as a cat that travels through its little territory you that you share with your other cat group. You gather little things, complete missions, scrap with rival cat gangs, and just walk around as a cat. Cute but a bit slow for my tastes.)

-rune factory 5 (don’t get me wrong, I love the fourth one and I’m sure the more I play this one I’ll learn to love it to. The gameplay is just set up a bit different and is a bit more similar to the harvest moon style than the fourth rune factory. The art is gorgeous though I was just hoping for more rune factory and less harvest moon when it came to the actual playing)

Games I’ve wanted and heard amazing things about:

The only reason I haven’t purchased and played these games yet is because games aren’t cheap and I need to finish the ones I’ve already purchased. That being said I’ve been looking at a lot of these for a long time and they are definitely going to make this list. I’m sure some of them would be ranked very high in the favorite games category as soon as I actually start playing them. Here’s the list:

* Spiritfairer

*Bear and breakfast

*Creepy tale

*Cozy grove

*Witchy life story

*Potion permit

*Hoa

*Littlewood

*Potion craft

*Gris

*When the past was around

*strange horticulture

*Lemon cake

*Wytchwood

*How to say goodbye

*Dreamlight valley

*Storyteller

*Cult of the lamb

*Little misfortune

*Night in the woods

* Sally face

And that’s it 🎉 sorry for such a long list but I wanted to include a bit of everything so you had lots to choose from. These are the games I play when I need a comfy happy place to go when life gets to be a bit too much to handle. I enjoyed making this list to be honest so there will most likely be more lists in the future. Maybe I’ll make a list of favorite otome games, anime/manga, kpop groups. Things like that. Anyway, hope you enjoy reading the list as I enjoyed making it 💖

[maleyanderecafe]

Good day! I was wondering if your review on Restart Heart has changed after the new demo came out recently? If you haven't played it yet, I suggest trying it out and letting us know what you think of it.

After trying my hand at the updated demo, I can safely say that my personal opinion has changed quite a bit since the very first version. The MC seems a touch more like an insufferable prick now with how rude they are towards some characters, how "Mary Sue" they act in given situations, and how they overreact to certain events occurring around them. Their inner thoughts and rational thinking are nothing like mine as well, but that's more of a personal thing. While I'm aware it's currently still a demo and these events aren't considered "canon" by the dev, it isn't exactly doing a good job at persuading me to try out the finished version of the game once it comes out.

I do like that there are more than one "main" yandere now, however unfortunately none of the other characters aside from Ezra and Sammy really appeal to me. Each character seems very "stereotypical" and play into a very specific trope, but it's been like that since the first release so I'm not too bothered by it. I guess I was hoping for more developed and interesting characters in the update and got let down with the lack of improvement from the first version.

I'm also unsure how I feel about how overly "woke" the demo is trying to be? The overuse of Arabic phrases by Bess seems somewhat out of place and repetitive, so many characters are overtly trans or use their ethnicity as a base for their personality (especially seen on tumblr), the NSFW scenes [in the first version] feel like I was being babysat with the constant "consent check ins" and boundary implementations, and characters like Steph talk about their job [a pornstar] as though it's something to glorify or romanticize. The game's job is to make these characters appealing enough for us to pursue but I can't get over how forced/unnecessary their backstories and personalities feel. I'm transmasc myself but I'm put off by these constant reminders being shoved in my face at every turn, especially on the official tumblr page. I like that these sorts of things are being represented in a positive way (much less in a visual novel where it's so rare), but I don't like how constant and overplayed they are.

I will say that the writing has definitely improved in the new demo and it doesn't feel as overtly casual with the grammar and punctuation anymore (almost as if the narrator was texting me rather than talking to me). The characters have established connections with the MC now which I like, though I understand that this may not be everyone's cup of tea. The new CGs are nice too, however I won't comment on the updated art style since I personally prefer the scratchy anime style of games like TKATB, Mushroom Oasis, and even 14DWY [the first version]. I've always liked the music used and the GUI looks good, so I didn't mind not seeing much of an update for them in the new demo.

Overall, I have mixed feelings but I'm hopeful and optimistic that the finished version will be much better if the updated demo is anything to go by. I also hope there won't be a price tag on the finished product because as good as it is now, there is still so much that needs to be improved on to justify even a $5 label. These are my personal thoughts, though I'd love to hear yours as well.

It took me a while to replay the new demo and then find the older demos since it's no longer on the itchio page (There is still a link for the third day, but I had to watch epsylion's video on the fourth day, which excludes some routes). I admit that while I am generally aware of what is going on with various vns and their updates, I haven't had time to really go through and play most of them, so if there is a game that I have gone over before but it has updated, feel free to send me an ask.

Restart Heart seems to have an interesting conception, with the game going up to it's fourth day, before eventually being pulled back into a shorter demo that encapsulates the first day, likely to revamp and improve on the game as a whole. As such, I'm not sure if I've missed anything specifically as I'm not on the patreon . As a quick recap, the general plot of the first demo was that the MC, Sugar basically went on a huge party rager after finding out their ex fiance cheated on them and got their younger sister pregnant. As a result, the four days that we do spend with Sugar and the other characters are generally Sugar attempting to get back on their feet with the help of Ezra and the other characters, Bess, Blaire, Sammy, Chris and Steph along with sleeping with some of them if you so choose to. The new demo is a bit similar but only covers Sugar before finding out about the cheating, with them having a smaller interaction with the rest of the crew at the chocolate place they work at (namely that they almost got crushed by a bunch of staplers).

I think compared to the four day version of Restart Heart, I actually prefer this new demo's Sugar to the old one, though that's likely going to change once they find out about the cheating that's going on. While I understand that Sugar is going through a generally horrible situation of someone cheating on them, I also find their behavior kind of hard to deal with and not that much fun to play with. This is just my general gripe with a lot of yandere vns, not just Restart Heart in particular, where the MC tends to be very cynical and dislikes doing... well anything, which to me is a touch tedious and kind of annoying at times. I also feel like from the four day version, they feel a lot more bitter and angry (again due to the break up) but also coddled very heavily as well. Understandably it is nice to have someone who is able to care about you and try to make things feel better when everything feels like it's falling apart, but to me it still feels very infantalizing in some aspects, with every character seemingly trying to nurse Sugar back to feeling better. It's likely more of a me thing since I've always been the type of person to drag myself back up by my feet, rather than attempt to rely too much on other people. In the new demo, Sugar has yet to experience this (at least from what I can tell) so is generally more stable and less prickly. I don't think it's particularly Mary Sue like in the new demo, considering that I feel like if my friend almost got crushed by a bunch of staplers, we'd all run over there too and make sure that they're okay, though I can see where you're coming from since most of the characters are revolving around Sugar in that sort of way. It's hard to say what kind of characters the Restart Heart gang will be considering that it is still a demo, but considering it did have four days already out, I can see what you mean. We don't get to see too much into their lives (outside of Blaire, I think which probably has the most characterization out of Chris and of course Ezra). It would be nice for them to do other things as well like go out on dates or just hang out more one on one (like going to hang out at the library with Sammy, for instance) to get to know them a bit more.

Interesting take on it. I did notice that Bess uses a lot of Arabic phrases, kind of like someone who is trying to learn the language and is attempting to use it in their every day life so that they can remember it. I don't think that specifically was the intention, but it did come off like that for me. I'm not really sure what you mean by "overtly trans or use their ethnicity as a base for their personality", do you mean as more of like that's their main personality trait? A very minor confusion I have with the game is the use of pronouns that are attached onto the characters. That in itself isn't really a problem but it does seem a touch redundant because there is a character bio for all of the characters that already has the pronouns on it. Not anything huge, but it is a strange decision to make. The checkins for nsfw content is generally a thing that happens in a lot of r18 yandere vns, but I do get that it does feel very babysitting like, especially if it's something that happens after the initial agreement.

I do agree that the writing has improved a lot more, with the characters written in a more lifelike manner and feels more like they have known Sugar for a while. I also agree that it's nice that they have more stronger connections to Sugar this time around. I think the music is good, though I do wish that they would change it up more since the same soundtrack repeated does make it a bit tiring (though this is likely just a demo thing). Lilith did a good job of coding everything as expected, especially with the pronoun, name, partner, nickname choices in the very beginning. There is a lot of variation for people who want to be called a specific way during the NSFW parts (though admittedly I don't really like most of them since well, I prefer submissive yanderes). They are doing a lot of projects right now, so it is hard to say when the full version will come out and what the quality will be right now. Hopefully it will come out well though, and there will be more yandere content that I can shift through.

[ixhika-jsx]

BLACK SWAN- ✧˖°BTS Challenge - 𐙚

Main concept: of this challenge is that I have to bring my passions back to life that died long ago

Bit inspired by @zzzzzestforlife 🍾🫶🏻

As in song's lyrics of 'black swan'

"If this can no longer resonate, no longer make my heart vibrate, then like this may be how I die my first death."

[ You can reblog this post and start this challenge by yourself after adding your own goals under the reblogged post of yours... :)) ]

[ Academics:- ᥫ᭡🎐

As to bring back my interest in studies there are some goals of mine and some tips (I am referring myself as 'you' as some external force for myself) 🎀

☆ By the mid of September you must be on track in academics - complete notes and zero backlogs , regular revision ! 📄❕️❕️

☆ 📌 Complete pw modules till December

☆ work on weak chapters🗯 - relation and functions , trigonometry , periodic classification and topic electronic configuration of chapter - 2 of chemistry 💨

☆ listen to podcasts like 'ACADEMIC VALIDATION'🗒and 'YOUR A+ LIFE'📈 while studying mathematics. (As I kinda not get maths yk )

☆ study along with study vloggers - 'STUDY WITH ME' 🩰 because it helps when you find a 'partner' in studying.

☆ Have a mindset that you are not a student but you are a employee working for a greater position in your job or for greater income....🏷 which means position- topper or sum and income - grades ⏳️

☆ while studying physics you should use whiteboard 📇cuz I know it gets boring at times so yea

☆ for chemistry I would say that read books and make pretty pretty notes 🪄 and if you still can't study it then just watch some study vlogs and restart �� (it helps me sometimes)

☆ study computer science chapter of - 'PYTHON' 🖥 whenever you get time as of getting mind off STEM subjects

[ Workout :- ᥫ᭡ 🎳

☆ I know it's not easy getting off bed but just use 1-2-5 minute rule 🎗

-stand up for 1 minute and drink some water

- start off with some stretching next for 2 minutes

- do 4 plank sessions in 5 minutes or any other favourite exercise move of yours

(This is my concept btw) And this will help about 70 percent to actually get you up.🥊

☆ do pilates in case you don't feel like exercising⛳️

☆ do 'lazy' stretching either before sleeping ot after sleeping.🎯

☆ walk minimum 6k steps a day♠️

[ Hobbies/Extra curricular :- ᥫ᭡ 🎱

☆ subscribe/follow to multiple dance pages so you automatically get the urge to dance🪀

☆ watch your idol dancing...it helps🧩

☆ dance atleast twice a week no matter what , even if you have to force it. It will individually get better if you were some day passionate bout it once.👯🏻‍♀️

☆ start writing your incomplete book by visualizing the scenes of the book...may help sometimes🖇

☆ during breaks from studies play basketball even for 5 minutes... put your phone away and walk around with your basketball around you then you will automatically feel the urge.🏀

☆ take part in school activities as much as you can....I get it that there is lot of academic work but it shouldn't stop you from being an all rounder🏆🏅

[ Social :- ᥫ᭡🥂

☆ cut people off...yea exactly CUT THEM OFF !! Lot of people don't really deserve you. You know who those people are.🌬

☆ don't get too comfy with some people. I get it that its your nature but keep that aside rn because it can be pressuring your self respect.🛑

☆ cut off atleast 3 people this year (atleast)💬

☆ don't be too kind to endure every other 'tease' of thiers. No this degrades your self respect and standards✋🏻

☆ if they are constantly mean then cut them off or just give them what they deserve(be the karma).🗣

☆ be as much confident as you can.you know nothing is cringe.... your definition of cringe is limiting you from your potential.🧭

So this is it for this challenge. I will regularly add more goals if needed and keep on updating my process.

You all are free to join :))🍾💐

[cy-cyborg]

Maybe I just didn't see it because I was trying to avoid spoilers, but I'm kind of shocked at how much disability rep is in Baldur's Gate 3. Both in the way of the main cast and just casually in the NPC's and background characters - and I've only just gotten to that party scene in act one (I keep restarting because there's so many things I want to try with different characters lol)

So far I've encountered Wyll (prosthetic eye - and he actually refers to it as such which is personally a big deal to me, fantasy settings almost never use the word prosthetic unless it has a negative connotation), Karlach (heavy scarring and maybe her heart, depending on how you want to interpret that, she also seems to stim a lot in her idle animation/is very blunt and could possibly be read as either autistic or ADHD), and the two little teifling kids, Mol (missing one of her eyes/scarring on her face) and Donnie (non-verbal and probably autistic, based on the narrator's description of how he seems to find eye-contact painful/won't look at you). Very early and minor spoiler, but tav can also loose their eye, which you and wyll can bond over lol.

Not to mention the character's who are coded as disabled like Gale (who's curse seems to function enough like a disability/chronic illness that I'd consider him disabled within the context of the world, and it seems other characters do too).

Like I said, I'm not very far into the game and that's already 5, possibly 6 depending on player choices. I also considered adding Shadowheart to the list for chronic pain, but I haven't progressed her story enough to see where that's going yet, so for now I'm not including her. Are they all good rep? honestly, it's not bad. not great, but overall, not bad as far as games go. There's a few issues I've noticed (outside of gale and karlach, they don't seem to impact the main characters much, and tav instantly gets a magic cure-type prosthetic - though ironically mine seems to be bugged and isn't working, so I'm not getting the buff its supposed to give you lol) but it's leagues ahead of other fantasy rpg's I've played which mostly relegates any disabled folks to npc beggars.

Honestly, just the number alone, combined with the fact that none of them have been turned into sob-stories or even feel forced is a big plus in my book. They just exist like every other character, playable or otherwise. That on it's own is just refreshing.

[saunne]

Writing - Reflection and Personal Analysis (Pt 2)

(or the actual plan of what the rest of my NaNo will look like)

I have two main problems at the moment : Lack of STRUCTURE and lack of STYLE. And a less important BRAIN problem.

STRUCTURE

The biggest blockage comes from my lack of planning and the fact that until then I was writing in semi-improvisation. I had an overall plot line to follow, but nothing very detailed.

Which is the heart of the problem.

Because since this isn't a fanfic, I need a lot more careful planning. Chapter by chapter, I need to know what the chapter should be about, who we meet there, who we follow, what information we learn, what scenes take place there, what their purpose is, what clues I should slip in, what false routes pose... I need a step by step manual, a complete checklist, with scene fragments and possibly color coding.

So from now on, this is what I'm going to do for NaNo, officially switching to the Rebel side. No novel writing for me this month, we will focus on the detailed planning of said novel, scene by scene, chapter by chapter.

Well, I say "novel", but it would be more correct to say story. In order not to get stuck by a rigid structure that I'm bad with, I'm just going to put aside the volume by volume structure and simply plan according to my narrative arcs, since I already have some of the planning written during last Camp.

I am more than capable of catching up if I switch to this method. I already have a good backup of information, and putting everything in order and detailing what I want to achieve will help me move forward faster than the blind writing I was doing until now.

STYLE

It’s obvious that I need to develop my novelistic style.

My fanfic style has developed over 4 years but I will not and cannot wait 4 years for my novelistic style to mature. Having a clear plan will already help me avoid going off track when writing, but I need to figure out how I'm going to manage.

Am I more comfortable with a more compact or airier style ? Do I favor very long sentences or short sentences? What is the rhythm of my writing ? Do I have writing tics, words that come back too often, turns of phrase reused in all sorts of ways? How do I deal with dialogue ? Descriptions of decor ? The emotional and reflective side of internal monologue ? How do I integrate the information in a fluid way, the flashbacks, the questions ?

I think the easiest thing would be to practice writing short scenes, or even short stories. This probably won't be something I do during this NaNo, barring sudden bursts of inspiration for Erasde that override my obsessive hyperfocus on my fandoms, but I won't rule out the possibility.

Another possibility could be to restart written role-playing with @gabrielwritessometimes . I have OCs in his world and he has some in mine, so this might be something interesting to do together, depending on everyone's available time and energy.

BRAIN

I can't really change my brain, so we're going to have to learn to overcompensate for the ongoing mess.

I already know that I need to be in a certain mood to write and that if I'm not, there's no point in forcing it. The frustration of not being able to write my fics also plays a big part, so alternating between NaNo and my WIPs according to my mood, energy level and inspiration rather than forcing myself to follow NaNo seems to be a good solution.

Certain places (my bed, the library, cafes, parks) work better for inspiration and concentration. So setting aside a little money to go and spend a few hours in a café at least once a week with one or two drinks and a pastry could be a good idea.

And my brain being a 5 year old with a sugar addiction, it seems that returning to a reward system based on candy and other sweets could alleviate the fluttering in my brain. Watch out for Mom and don't forget dental hygiene I guess.

POST NANO AND CAMP

I'll probably be busy in December, covering shifts at the library, but I plan to continue writing. After NaNo, I'm going to set a daily writing goal : no word limit, but write at least once a day, on any project or WIP.

I plan to submit my thesis and take my oral exam at the beginning of next year, at the earliest for the February holidays and at the latest at the beginning of April. Once my thesis is out of the way, I should be much more relaxed in terms of writing, which will undoubtedly help.

I plan to attend next year's Camp NaNo, both April and July.

If I haven't finished planning by April, this is what I will continue. If I finished it, I will slowly start writing the novel and continue writing during July Camp.

In order to reduce my anxiety, I will work chapter by chapter. That is to say, write a chapter, send it to my friends who wish to give me feedback, whether as readers or official beta-readers. Allow some time to pass, during which I work on other projects or another chapter, before rewriting the revised chapter.

I write primarily for myself, with no publication goals at present.

I don't yet know what I will do with my story once it is sufficiently advanced, if I will try to translate it myself into English to share it, if I will publish it on a platform like ao3 or Wattpad or Webnovel, if I'm going to send it to publishers hoping to get published, if I'm just going to keep it for myself and my group of friends... We'll see.

[semifinel]

February - 2023

Games

Disco Elysium- I’ve actually been slowly going through it for over a year (I would play for a few days and then take a break for a few months and then forget where I am and restart). However I finally finished it and I can very easily say it’s one of my favorite games ever. The writing, the style, the music- what’s not to fucking love.

I could talk about this game for hours and I have actually done that enough to convince friends to play it as well. But I probably can’t say anything that hasn’t been said before me.

Great game- I might be in love with Kim kitsuragi.

Rain world(?)- to be honest I haven’t played it (yet?) but I spend way too much time watching gameplay of it and videos about it, went into a deep dive in the wiki. This world absolutely fascinates me, the ecosystem is just wow- even though it seems like a very difficult game I might actually get it one day.

Decide to include it cause it’s my list and I make the rules, also it ate a chunk of my month.

Monster hunter rise- this is my second time trying to get this game and last time I (apparently) quit before even going on a mission. To be fair it was a combination of my own stupidity and the game’s absolute horrible tutorial that made me drop it so fast.

However given a second shot I’m already having more fun, flipping and riding and monster hunting.

I have no idea if anyone ever cared about a character in this game but the monsters are cool and I love them lots.

Why is there a tower defense section is beyond me- I never liked any kind of tower defense, but this is very much the wrong game for it.

Can’t wait to try a hunt with friends- I heard it’s awesome.

Start again: a prologue- a delightful lil rpg that made me feel a lot. I love time loops as a concept already and this was executed so well- I will cry about it.

Can’t wait for in stars and time!! I need more of this cast and world.

Lookouts- another game I’ve been making my way through oh so slowly, no reason here since it’s not really long. It’s a visual novel and I have trouble focusing on reading, that’s my main issue.

However I’m happy I played it- trans cowboys on opposing sides falling in love and find a way for them to have a life- I am the target audience. I love them.

Hue- sure was a puzzle game. And it was a nice one, pretty sure I got it for free and I mostly used it as something to play while I listen to podcasts. It’s cute and not very long and the puzzles were nice.

Shows

Mob psycho s2- still doing my rewatch, still love my sons.

Darry girls s3- finally got around to it, honestly liked it less then the other seasons however it was a nice end to the show as a whole and I’m glad they wrapped it up nicely.

Animation vs Minecraft- what if I told you the animation you used to watch on YouTube as a child kept going on while you looked away. That there is now a storyline spanning several hours which is very neat and dear to my heart.

How simple are your blorbos? Mine are literally just different colored stick man (they are my sons and I love them very much).

I want everyone to watch it, you can’t understand how hard it goes in the final episodes you don’t understand ahhhhha.

Podcasts

Something rotten- did I start this podcast just cause I wanted more Jacob Geller? Yes.

Am I happy I did that? Also yes.

I do not care even a little about the games they talk about but it’s still fascinating to hear them talk about them (along other kind of related topic)

Personally never heard of Blake Hester before but glad I know him now.

Can’t wait for next season where I might play along since I have one of the games in my library for some reason.

Etc?

The prince by Abigail throne (philosophy tube)- so like one of my favorite trans creators writes a play and uploads it in full- I had no doubt it was gonna be good.

Love the characters, love the themes, and the setting (of being stuck inside a play) is very fun.

But man do I not understand Shakespearean speak but that’s more of a me thing.

Felt a lil cliche/sappy at times but it was cute so I had no problem with it.

[quietlyblooms]

@ofurizen | from here!

her heart drops. she would be lying if she said the thought hadn't crossed her mind before, that she hadn't wondered if v could live his years beside her long-term. after display after display of physical feats not humanly possible, she would have been a fool to ignore that little voice in her head. be prepared for the worst. this could all end in tears.

so while her heart drops, it isn't a very long fall. there's a dull ache in her chest that's been there ever since she saw him heal from a wound that would have felled her. it grows sharper as v claims the weight of such pain, and chiyo shakes her head, fully turning on her side to face him. " no, " she replies, almost as soft as the breeze that rustles the flowers around them. " it's mine, too. i want it to be. do you think i haven't considered this before? i just didn't bring it up because, well... it is scary. "

she won't say it isn't. she won't put on some brave face, pretend like everything will be fine if they just believe. that isn't how this world works, but chiyo does smile and reach out, tucking fallen hair behind v's ear. " but you know what? i've been able to face a lot of scary things because of you. i won't let you face this one alone. "

[sl33py-g4m3r]

even though the switch version lags a little bit; it's still trying it's best~~

and honestly, despite the PC and steam versions lagging much less and playing a bit better due to better hardware on my PC, I still much prefer the switch controls as that's what I started with.

I've restarted my game on switch~~ and I'm surprised you can actually get out of the moss blanket without hover~~!

I went to the moss blanket to get boom slimes, honey slimes or plorts, and mint mangoes; after putting tabby phosphors with cube berries in the grotto~~

for some reason I always tend to put boom/(usually rad, occasionally honey, lately been honey actually) in the grotto along with them.

hate how that I might need to have my volume down (so that when I get there I may not be able to hear the gilded ginger T_T) cause every time the boom slimes explode in close proximity, I jump~~ or when feral slimes crunch you sometimes that makes me jump too~~ T_T;;

less of a game play update, cause I feel no one really cares anyway, and just an observation as to where I usually put things.

also I like to grind money and make corrals/gardens and get stuff set up long before I get the slimes and food that goes in there~~

also generally following an efficient largo combination guide that I screenshotted and saved from steam idk how long ago~~

that is as follows:

rock/pink w heart beet farm

tabby/phosphor w cube berry farm

boom/rad w oca oca farm (I switch this up with honey and mango! as I usually put the above two in the grotto and that equals out to drones putting one type of food into the auto feeders when automation time~~ yay fruit)

crystal/honey w mint mango farm (switched it up w rad and oca oca instead~~ cause they're in the main area usually w my rock/pinks once again yay vegetables for automation time, and I still grow the onions bc idk why~~)

mosaic/hunters w silver parsnip farm

dervish/tangle w prickle pear farm

quantum/saber w phase lemon farm

a silo in each area

this setup is supposed to yield 5 spare plots and be the most efficient for main farm only~~ but I grow onions anyway, have 2 silos in the main area of the ranch and the lab, so I don't have 5 empty plots, it's more like 3~~ or maybe 2 if I can count~~ in the overgrowth, whatever I put in there I put 2 corrals, and the lab I have 2 silos, and the docks I have an incinerator for fire slimes~~ so I think that works out to 2 additional plots of space for whatever else~~

might be a bad setup, but everyone has their favourite food, there's no one without a favourite food and is hard to feed, I've got silos for all the plorts in each area~~

when I get there anyway~~~

toys of each largos type for everyone when I get there~~~ and feeders on the lowest setting so that hopefully I don't waste food~~

now I need an efficient drone setup when I finally get them and the lab unlocked~~

I put fruit eating slimes (accidentally before realizing) together in the grotto, and vegetarian ones of 2 different food types in the main area; so that drones only have one type of food to work with~~ this was an accident~~ but it works out~~

and somehow silver parsnips can take care of 2 corrals of largos and be absolutely fine~~ on a game I had before I'd stuck 2 corrals of about 10 each? of mosaic/tangle and silver parsnips in between them, a silo to collect the plorts, and 2 drones. one to put the food in the autofeeder as well as take plorts to the silo, the other to mass sell when the silo got full. was in viktor's workshop where all I had to do was water the drones and then leave~~

I wanna be that efficient with drones in all areas tbh~~ idk how that even worked but it did~~ and we still had silver parsnips for days~~ the feeders were on medium setting and we still were full on food~~

honestly idk how that worked, but I'm really glad it did~~ that save is now long gone cause I started over on my switch, lol~~

I think slime rancher is a new hyperfixation of mine~~~ good game~~~

I'd recommend to anyone who wants a cute explorative game~~ or anyone who likes a farming sim~~ or games where you can be as efficient as you want~~

cute slimes, good music, cool story and world~~ would recommend~~

100/10 would buy slime rancher for another platform again~~~

[lemonflowercat]

75 soft: day 15

what was supposed to be a 4 day birthday break turned into a 7 day one, 3 extra days to regain energy, fight off PMS woes which hit me like a landslide once birthday fever subsided, and fall back into routine. kinda wondering if i should be restarting my 75 soft...? nah, continue we shall.

before we begin, a very random birthday photo dump:

[x] morning walk/run or yoga x6/w ngl, my brain was putting up so much resistance to getting back on the mat this morning. i did a very half-hearted 20m full body yoga stretch, but i'm so glad i pushed through.

[] meditate x at least 15min every afternoon

[] study 42h/w since there's 4 days left for this week, i'm aiming to hit 28h this week

[] evening wxo x6/w

[x] [] [] 1 raw veggie or a fruit x3 meals

- breakfast was the wrap from last week (hummus, scrambled eggs, cukes-carrots-capsicum)

[] 1400cal x6/week

[] progress picture/day x6/w

[] 2.5L of water/day

[] brush before bed

[x] no media consumption (one movie/d allowed) - for freezes and PMS days luteal phase is here! which means sleepy, foggy, unpredictable moods are here. hoping to remain slow and deliberate through this time. i also have an exam coming up soon - yes, May feels very "soon" when i've got 18 subjects to cover. hoping to make good progress.

i didn't hit enough of my goals today, although i had a super productive day otherwise (groceries, chores, cooking, wxo). gotta restart again T-T i think the main reason i didn't hit my goals was poor prioritization, and tbh, also because i think i put A's needs above mine some times and yesterday was one of those days. also doesn't help that A is a poor planner, and he drops impulse bombs on me more often than i'd like. i really should prioritize better and consciously choose what's better for me!

adieu to my longest streak so far (':

[quietlyblooms]

chiyo's curious brown eyes watch seren for a moment as she hums, stalling for time. what makes a story worth being told? chiyo's never thought of it that way before. what stories does she want to tell? that's always been the question. she wants to tell the story of those who struggle to reach out their hands ( like her, even if she stays quiet ); those who stay when everyone else leaves; those who are patient and those who are not, who get frustrated and feel hopeless; those who find their light again; she wants to tell the stories of the struggle and of the happily ever after. it's out there for everyone, even chiyo. even seren. if the two women just reach for it.

but it's easier said than done, isn't it? that's why she won't stop writing. she has to keep hoping.

" it isn't about being worthy, " chiyo starts, swirling around the remaining melted ice in her cup. this heat is unbearable. she isn't meant for this sort of weather, yet she'd never turn down an opportunity to see the busy huntress. " because everyone has a story that should be heard. i just... " her gaze turns skyward, protected by her own sunglasses as she watches a lone cloud pass overhead. " i try to tell the ones that are harder to say aloud. i dress it up with magic and battles, but it still comes down to the people. they need each other, or there's no manga. everything would fall apart, same as our lives. and sometimes, everything falls apart anyway because that's how life is even if we all pretend like it isn't. "

it's an uncomfortable feeling, this vulnerability, but chiyo doesn't swallow it down. she speaks it into the space between them, aware that there's a weight to her words that only comes from experience, from personal investment. artists put a little bit of themselves in their work, and chiyo is not an exception to this rule. the blonde lets out a deep breath, flashes a soft smile at seren.

" i'm biased, though. i can't write sad endings. i always wanna write the version of the story where everything's okay in the end. "

@quietlyblooms ↻ ♡   (  not accepting.  ) 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 . . .   american teenager , ethel cain.

summer was such a volatile time. sometimes summer was too cold, spring's lingering touch reaching in to what she could consider appropriate. othertimes, like today, it was far too hot to do anything but complain about the heat, which is what landed them here: walking through the streets of linkon city, each of them with a drink in their hand and summer apparel clung to sweat-stained bodies. given her pale complexion and the lightness of her hair, seren was not a fan of the summertime, instead opting for the cooler months, but she knew how to handle herself.

glossed lips wrap around the straw once more, slurping - a tell-tale sign that her refreshing summer drink had run out. pouting a bit, seren looks down at her cup and sighs, shaking her head now. mismatched eyes peer over her sunglasses to chiyo, and she rolls her neck, sighing.

" how do you do it. " she asks, after a while, looking up at the sky after glancing at her friend. " your stories. your manga. how do you work on it all, knowing that everyone around you has a story? like . . . hang on, i'm not making any kind of sense. "

" i guess . . . what i'm asking is . . . what makes a story worth being told? " it's obvious seren has something on her mind, but seren and chiyo are two halves of the same thought. both of them have gardens they have built up. chiyo questions her place in other's lives, and seren makes sure no one gets to make a place. it's a rare thing, for this kind of vulnerability to sit in-between the huntress's teeth, but here it is, sacrificed in the name of curiosity. she turns to look at chiyo completely now as they walk, white hair falling out of her claw clip and down her shoulders. she looks the pinnacle of linkon summer, but it's evident in the gleam of the sweat under her eyes that she never asked to be.

[liaromancewriter]

I know it may sound like I'm being paranoid, but I hope that Open Heart fans will follow into the steps of the It Lives fans and create their own Open Heart project on another platform. To me Snowed in and the other Shared Worlds stories were a proof that it could be done right by players who care about the cast.

I feel like Pixelberry is dying a slow and painful death. The app has been crashing. There are bugs and errors in almost every single chapter. The book passes were gone last time I checked. There have been layoffs. Storyloom, the whitewashed Chinese market app and the Choices store are down. Some of PB's writers seem to have deleted their socials. Every good story is permanently VIP-locked. The app is currently running but nostalgia for their old series and shameless smut. Am I the only one dreading the moment when we're no longer going to be able to replay Open Heart whenever life's kicking our butt? I have been dealing with depression for years. I'm embarrassed to admit, but OH is my comfort piece of media if that makes any sense.

I have seen this happen with Lovestruck and Storyscape. I feel like any day now the trilogy will be gone forever. It may be selfish, but I don't want the death of the app to be the end of the road. As much as I enjoy the fanfiction, it's projects like It Lives Within that can really unite the Open Heart fandom and breathe a new life into it. I got to interact with people who have never played Choices, but are familiar with ILW.

Maybe something like Open Heart: Through the Seasons anthology could work. A story in which each chapter is a self-contained storyline will make it possible to follow the cast's journey as they solve complicated medical cases and celebrate holidays or personal milestones together. Creating an overarching storyline is taxing, but a more episodic structure seems more manageable. Allowing the players to interact with 2/3 characters of their choice every chapter could give each character a moment to grow as a person in the same way that TRR did. It could also give a new home to any storyloom OH stories that could plausibly exist in the same universe.

I'm embarrassed to admit, but OH is my comfort piece of media if that makes any sense.

There is no shame in this! I do the same. I restarted the series recently and have been slowly reading each chapter because I want to prolong that feeling OH gives me (especially when I'm feeling down). I don't even like medical dramas for the most part, but I love this book.

A few years ago, there was a group that wanted to create an OH project like It Lives. I believe they spoke to that team to understand the requirements and legalities of creating a fan-made project. I joined the Discord server back then but nothing ever happened, and then those creators left the fandom. I'd love to see this happen too, but I don't know if there are many people left who'd want to put that much time and effort into it.

My original idea for Snowed In was very similar to what you proposed above. I was going to create multiple chapters, one with each LI. But creating one chapter took me forever, especially with multiple routes/branches. So, I can only imagine the workload of creating a full series or anthology.

I completely understand what you mean about fanfic. At the end of the day, fanfics are very specific to each creator's vision of the book, their MC and the relationships they believe in as opposed to the original canon which is a self-insert type of environment. While we still have a plot, a roadmap for the character relationships, LIs, etc., we feel in control of the story.

By the way, have you screen-recorded your playthroughs? I did mine last year. One for each chapter and specific scenes on their own if my choices are different from my main playthrough. It's not the same, but it's a great way to dive into your story whenever you want, and without worrying about keys.