#(Exactly HOW IT SHOULD {Have Been} Always)
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A lil guy !
#honkai star rail#dan heng#genuinely have a million things i wanna draw and then zero energy#so dan heng in a hoodie#now i gotta go get dinner sooooo maybe that will give energy and then i can draw more of what i actually wanna draw#but i kinda spent like ... hours ? talking to my mom earlier today#since shes been in the hospital for many many days#so i was catching her up on whats been goin on and showed her silly lil videos#and telling her how hyped i was for summer hrid and she (very patient with my fe talk)#was like you always tell me about banners being bad so it must have made you REALLY happy to say the whole banner is good#and im like yeah and i had multiple people on multiple sites like hey salmon/moeblob did ya see the banner#and she was like thats so cool that people acknowledge who you like and im like yeah it is p cool#and then i told her how mad i was at the absolutely criminal act of limiting how you can watch clue (1985 hit movie)#like i told her yeah sure i own it twice on dvd and once on itunes and that the only way to watch those#are either desktop or ps2 and how i dont have access to my itunes email#and i dont have it on my laptop so i sadly would have to rebuy the movie on itunes under a new acct#then i said how i loved that it was free to watch with ads on yt and id watched it twice that way#but then recently wanted to watch it on there but laptop and hoo boy you have to buy or rent it now#so i v angrily was like fine whatever ill do the thing and leave my room and go watch it on my moms tv#while she isnt around and use her amazon prime where it should be included except ! IT WASNT!#YOU HAVE TO HAVE PRIME TO BUY OR RENT IT NOW TOO!#HOW ARE THEY DOING THIS AND WHY ! who in the world is watching this movie so much that isnt me that they have to charge for it now#on all platforms unless you straight up pirate it#and hey why would i of all people be needing to pirate a movie i own physically two times and digitally once#this is literally a personalized attack to me#and my mom was like i understand how you feel cause yeah thats really weird to do to a 1985 movie#and im like yes exactly i have morals and principles that make me opposed to this and its v maddening#and she said she understood and its ok next time we are having power issues and i have to shut down#that if i really wanna watch it i can rent it on her amazon account and i looked at her and shes like oh you feel v strongly about this#and i do! I HAVE HAD IT GIFTED TO ME TWICE ! I BOUGHT IT ONCE! WHY DO I HAVE TO RENT IT FOR MORE MONEY!
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let it be known that i love prince inigo with my whole soul. however sometimes it is SO much fun to think about owain and his two most loyal-est knights you ever seen: worst guy in the world #1 and worst guy in the world #2. i love retainer inigo and severa so much. retainers who bully you and make fun of you and trash on you but they’d leave behind everyone and everything they ever knew to follow you and protect you in a whole new universe. they love you so much that they’d swear allegiance to total strangers but that loyalty pales in comparison to what they’d do for you. and they were all lovers!!!!!!!
#ann plays awakening#awakening trio#sometimes i forget owain is literal royalty and like#in the bad timeline hes probably like. the second most important person there?? unless luci has a sibling#obviously she’d need her own retainers but unfortunately i am thimking awakening trio thoughts. i miss. i love them in any form#that they are handed to me#i love them as best friends. as forced circumstance allies to family. as lovers.#i know i said lovers in this post but im not sure they’d ever label it as that#to me its very much ‘its not exactly romantic but its too intense to be platonic’#what i am getting at is queer platonic awakening trio btw. in case that wasnt obvious#like no matter who they are or where they go they are eachothers people dude. like literally do not separate#anyways im gonna be thinking long and hard about who should be everyones parents in this timeline#i have what i call my ‘main’ pairings and thats what i use for most of my headcanons (ex prince inigo)#but i’d like a completely separate one for owain retainer trio#i think im pretty set on fred!severa#i couuuldddd pick fred!inigo which i do think is SUPER compelling as well but something about freddy!severa… also shes so cute as a brunette#like sorry… shes just so beautiful#ive been having a lot of thoughts aboht tharj!inigo and i need to figure out if thats current bias talking or if im cooking with that one#i got no idea who owain’s second parent should be. robin maybe? idk#i mean his second parent isnt quite as impactful in regards to trio dynamics in this case just because he’s always the prince but. idk#i really like the idea of half plegian owain but i ALWAYS run half plegian owain cuz im always pairing lissa with robin or henry so its like#this isnt new 😭😭😭 but god. PLEGIAN OWAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#hm. though. hear me out. manakete owain???????????????? ehhh????#sorry. idk. i love how changing the parents of the second gen can change their characterization. its like my favorite thing ever#i think its why im so attached to all of them. theres always new things to explore with them!!! its so much fun!!!!!!#graaarfggjjjhhhhhhn!!!!
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shuake works because it feels like akechi's the only one who listens to akira and prompts the otherwise quiet leader to talk.
in a game about defiant teens making their voice heard, goro akechi listens to akira's voice from the get-go. out of detective-sleuthing/work duties, sure, but over time it's clear that akechi genuinely finds akira interesting.
in fact, akechi's confidant route regardless of which game is being played starts with him deeming akira the antithesis to his thesis, a "worthwhile debate partner". akechi values joker's opinions.
its always nice to see people point out that in that one 3rd sem phone call with akechi, its the most involved akira's been in a conversation in-game. i myself remember inserting a lot more input during that story-sequence which usually i can put on autoplay otherwise. akechi, in a whole different reality, still seeks out joker's opinions on it. it's like he trusts no one but him.
and imo this gives a lot of character to akira. he talks the most with akechi. the quietest people have the most on their minds, and it shows with akira. but akira never gets a say in anything, and who would listen? he's less than a nobody in reality since society dictated that. so he pointedly made himself silent, hiding his thoughts beneath an impenetrable mask. during important story moments, akira favors doing more than saying. his teammates and confidants are all directly inspired by his actions over the course of the game.
but with akechi, it's different. actions seem to take a backseat as they continue with their verbal back-and-forth. in rank 7 of royal, they play pool while talking, but it's clear to the outsider that the focus is in the layered conversation they're having. they primarily talk everytime akechi's in the coffee shop, because they dont usually see eachother in their busy schedules. it's not just "hi, hello, how are you?" with them but "i find you and everything you stand for interesting. let's talk more."
there's something to be said about how two people with vastly different and opposing views seek eachother out to further discuss things instead of antagonizing eachother. its why maruki said "despite being enemies, your relationship was never based on hatred or ill will".
their relationship was never a one-sided thing. akechi helps joker as much as joker helps him... arguably more. he eggs joker on, shows him that he can do better. otherwise, the leader would remain stagnant and unchallenged. there is no progress where there is no thesis and-- you can finish the rest.
#persona 5#shuake#goro akechi#akira kurusu#been defensively quiet lately and was thinking how nice it is to have someone listen to and validate my thoughts.#maybe not always agree but. making me feel like my words are worthwhile#aishi.docx#and then i realized thats exactly what akechi does with joker. damn rivals...#they should exist irl too...#oh to have a smug pretty n intelligent boyfriend telling me im smart while he twirls his spoon in the tea i made him...#anyway i really like the topic of joker's quietude cause i feel like it makes sense that he wasnt always like that at all.#him becoming quiet after getting shut down over and over is like. so humbling and a real epidemic i fear...#this is a personal post more than anything i feel HSJDBJS me giving joker my fears and pains. but actually joker copied ME#(said like a totally normal person)
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I watched Tutor's interview with Poppy (Foei) recently. He mentioned that he was being scouted by DMD, went to an event with their people, and was just mingling with them all.
He and Yim started chatting, just a random conversation, and suddenly Aof was like "Okay, you two will be partners", and they were slapped into the Cutie Pie lineup.
Tutor said he has no idea what Aof even saw to think that, but his instincts were good!
#also battle of the writers might not have been very good but the hair was on POINT in every scene#that's exactly how fluffy Yim's hair should be#i will always love them for the DMD 2024 halloween special#where they both show up head to toe in sheets with nothing distinguishing on#and then make it the poor editor's problem to figure out which of them is which EVER#tutor koraphat#yim pharinyakorn#tutoryim#cutie pie#watch#cutie pie the series#syn#nuer#nuersyn
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sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all
My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.
#Its so shocking whenever anybody mentions that fic to me#like its just such a specific combo of interests how are there this many people interested in it...#I have some fragments of unfinished chapters for it laying around but I was struggling to get them to work#and I definitely dont have the motivation to finish them now#If youre curious the chapters were going to be Slaughter avatar miss Power and Web avatar Mr Big#and possibly Flesh avatar Butcher but I never got around to starting that one#The Miss Power chapter was basically going to be about her having kind of lost her thread#I wanted to leave a lot of ambiguity as to what happened with her home planet#but she hadnt been in contact with them for agessssss and her radio is damaged and her ship is in bad shape#the chapter was just going to be her being like 'pfff I dont interpersonal connection Im doing great out here. Murdering. All on my own'#Well she has her little squirl thing but she treats him like an animal#mr giggle cheeks or whatever#anyway I wanted it to imply that whatever happened her bloodthirst was destroying her#The Mr Big chapter was from Lesley's perspective#She would have been one in a long long line of assistants that Mr Big went through like candy#Lesley is his favorite though because. while she is terrified of him. shes still willing to push him. to be honest with him#but she also knows exactly when to step off. when to lie to appease him#( its always a tossup as to whether he wants a sweet lie or the harsh truth that day. He can always tell either way#its a gamble he does to be cruel. She always picks right though. or maybe he's more lenient with her than he should be)#He likes that she knows exactly how to push him without ever stepping over the line#He likes that her guilt and revulsion are slowly eating her up inside but shes too selfish to leave#She likes being special. She likes the idea of ruling the world alongside him#She'll always be second in command but shell be so much higher than everyone else#and shes willing to do anything to get that#Mr big doesnt think shell ever make it that far#but he likes her anyway#shes the one assistant he'll be sad about dying#OK damn apparently I did still have things to say about this old fic DAMN#still not gonna finish it tho. they call me the struggler becaus.e writing is a struggle...
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also just for the record. no matter how much utterly stupid shit i say or draw about him, frank actually makes me so deeply sad. this old man should be picking up his grandkids but he cant. i think about him too much and im so sad
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#this is true for like most of these guys [gestures vaguely to comicbook men] but frank is the one that makes me want to chew on rocks rn. s#like yeah i selfship with him for fun and i like to think about cutesy or funny stuff involving him but the reality is he makes me so sad#ig thats part of why i do it. you make me so sad old man. but youre not real so in some version of not real you can be a little better#not happy but yk better#but like. just. fuck man hes so deeply damaged and hurt it drives me up the wall. my hurt person hurting people#as always i struggle to string words together this isnt news if you know anything about him you know exactly what im getting at#he would have been a wonderful father and husband. the way hes so devoted to them still. always. its killing me#sometimes i see canon moments of him where how just fundamentally deeply broken as a person he is and augh#nothing can help you nothing can make things any better but my god you cannot be left alone in this state#eh maybe thats it. i cant help him i cant make him feel better. but i cant let him be alone like this#i dont think he should have to be alone like this#bleh sorry word vomit. im tired and sleepy. i wrote 4 essays this week. need to write 2 more. going a little bonkers#brain is fried.
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:(
#i literally feel VIOLENTLY ill at the fact the hospital handled my mum’s passing so badly that her funeral is exactly ONE MONTH after it#i’ll forever be furious and angry and hurt and traumatised by the way they handled it#like A MONTH#it should not be happening this long after#and it’s her birthday on sunday so maybe i’m just feeling ten times worse because of that#but it’s not fair#it’s never gonna be fair#why the FUCK did she get taken from me like this#and then having to be the only one who knew about her funeral plans bc she only told me#and then everybody including my dad tells me how strong i am#IM NOT STRONG!!?!!?!??!?#i’m a girl who needs her mama. i’m just a girl who is so lost and confused and needs her mama#i literally want 2 die#tw death#i turned my tv off and immediately started crying bc i felt like the worst person in the world#did i not love her enough#should i have been better to get#*her#idk i just want her to know i adored her#and i need to hear her voice and get a hug#one of the last things she said to me was ‘i love you more’ well i love you most so how about that#tw grief#i am never getting over losing her#please . feel free to let me rant i just feel like i can’t talk to my dad or family bc like idk .#i always talked to my mum about my emotions and well! that can’t happen anymore lmfao 😭#i just need a place to vent the HELL out of my feelings bc i am not going back to therapy
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been thinking about how hard MSQ must be on the body, especially for someone who isn't exactly in the best shape of their life. must be hard to keep up with the warrior of light! which ended up in a couple studies of how Negi's carried his weight through the whole adventure, with a couple extra mostly-non-spoilery notes on each expac~
#ffxiv#ffxiv art#ffxiv miqo'te#miqo'te#ff14#negi bloodpath#images should be id'ed ik my handwriting is hard to parse lol#essentially though. i wanted him to go thru a Journey body-wise because i always drew him kind of the exact same and i wanted to figure out#how exactly it would Affect him to have to catch up with the wol because for a time it is Very hard for him to do that.#with Sagra being a seasoned warrior from the Steppe and him “just” being a little herbalist failed conjurer he has like#a hard time feeling like he deserves to be by his side? and feeling like he deserves his place in the Scions#because so far he'd only been assigned to a couple lower stakes jobs#and then to Sagra and then it got. very serious very fast!#but after a while he figures like. well god damn it if no one else will do it. i fucking will.#and i'll do a GREAT JOB OF IT!!!#overpowering his anxiety just out of pure spite#then shb happens and kind of puts a wrench in that but he does get better. sheer force of will he does get better.#but that's too much to get into in tags LMAOO and we haven't rped it yet so it's still In The Air#taking between patch time to cement him before dawntrail comes he's gotten really good after ew but he deserves to be PERFECT by dt!!!!!!#my little fucking man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#my art
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I might just start drawing all the DW characters as ponies ngl
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/524c3ca3dc37d71acdc739f1e6b0ef5d/a99f8bc1c514456d-0a/s540x810/9ed5251f9660ccaee0b1993f1865383dc9e0d4b2.jpg)
(Prompt: Asexual pride flag - Time: 60min)
#I mean Drake and Gos have been in an mlp comic. Don't even have to make up designs for 'em#As always: Not exactly how I would imagine Pony!Bushroot but it's a start#Gave him clothes. In my mind Bushroot wears a lab coat#I should really start drawing these in; like; proper drawing software lol /lh#colormari#asexual#pride month#darkwing duck#reginald bushroot#bushroot#ponyfication#my little pony#mlp fim#chill's art
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stole this chart from @asubakaa and spent wayyy too much time making my own so. yeah. also i did 6 instead of 5 bc i know no restraint
#aughh i just spent ages typing out an honorable mention list and then i was like i don't like this actually so i deleted it#whatever you're not getting an explanation. unless you ask then i mean sure i don't mind#i find it funny that the straight ship canonicity ratio is lower than the lesbian one. there's just smth about het stuff when it's not cano#each tier had its own challenges with brainstorming which was fun#i don't have a lotta straight ships i think about in a frothing seething howlilng way. fakiru and tamaharu are really the biggest ones atm#gay ships are the most common for me bc i consume a lotta guy-dominated media and things get homoerotic pretty fast#but that also meant there was a lot to sift through and i always felt like i was forgetting something#like i almost forgot killugon. KILLUGON. the same killugon that i was painfully obsessed with for multiple years yes that one#formative to my life in middle school and everything. my little gay guys forever. theyre very sweet how could i forget them#and with sapphic stuff it was various issues in depiction. like 'no one ships these two from this obscureish movie but me' and 'they're boo#characters so how do i depict this visually' and 'no one knows these two the fandom's bone dry :('#there's a lotta ships i like but it was sometimes hard to find ones i LOVEd enough to put alongside the others yknow. a problem with all 3#categories. anyway a fun thing for my brain to do hooray#the most violently snubbed honorable mentions are probably griffith and guts bergerk. i wouldn't say i ship them exactly but they were in#love and should not be together in the present. as far as i've read. complicated but they're in my brain real good real deep in there#and hua cheng and xie lian tgcf. probably shoulda been there over the lawyers now that i'm thinking about it just in terms of sheer brainro#bc they took over my life about as hard as the other mxtx guys did. but yeah anyway#also i realized after this that i forgot horikashi.. which would probably take seowaka's place </3
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twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao
#man fuck yall just support artists you enjoy#dont attack people who dont rb/rt your art (hell they might even have it scheduled) but also dont constantly demand ''content'' from people#ESPECIALLY without telling them that you appreciate the effort they put in to show you cool things they made for free#you should've been rt'ing/rb'ing from the START 😒 just show people you care!#im just waiting to scroll through post after post of ppl calling out ''entitled artists'' lmao#btw my opinion on the whole thing is painfully neutral if you couldnt tell#i dont think you should care that much about numbers and ppl take it wayyyyyy too far#throwback to that one guy who personally @ everyone who didnt reblog their art that was CRAZY. i would straight up report you KJFGHKG#i also understand and have personally experienced how much engagement can change your mood#a simple ''i love this!'' can make someone's day. it's not hard to understand why ppl like engagement#when they make post after post without so much as a little tag they dont care about sharing anymore#the fact that people call that ''entitlement'' is also crazy#i have a lot of drawings i havent posted or just left nonrebloggable bc it really doesnt make a difference lmao#the only ones i leave rebloggable are the ones that i Know will do well and get attention. like the little pig redraw#if it's cute or funny it gets positive attention. anything else is shit on here lmao#it's just not as fun to share. it either leads to no engagement or negative engagement#would rather have nothing than something rude so whatever#some ppl say it's always been like this but no it absolutely was not always like this#idk what exactly caused the change. probably a lot of factors#could even just be the fandoms i hang around in! but considering i've seen the same sentiment from a bunch of ppl i doubt it's that#the best solution to no engagement is to just make friends and have fun#but 90% of the internet is hostile and negative and rude for no fucking reason#when i unfollowed someone on my old public twitter and they @ me over it. damn i dont know why but NOW i know why 😭#this post has gone way off course im just ranting at this point. i havent talked in a while hi how have you guys been#work was a lot yesterday and today is too slow (im not at work im just going crazy in my house)#(and i cant leave my house bc there's construction blocking the road someone save me)#chat
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Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh today I've been constantly experiencing the urge to un-private today-in-the-devildom & start writing for it again
#i'm gonna ramble in the tags but#i've been talking with starr (if you're reading this--hi starr!! <3) about the blog today and sharing some of the entries#and it just made me miss it so much#+ the conversation actually made me realize some other reasons why i didn't enjoy the blog in general anymore#like i genuinely love the blog and i genuinely loved writing for it & that conversation reminded me of that#but also there were so many reasons that ultimately pushed me to more or less abandon the blog & then later private it too#so i'm kind of at a loss here#tbh i think i'm mostly just scared to pick the blog up again only for it to end exactly like last time i picked it back up#i've actually always wanted for the blog to be a source of inspiration y'know?#like the things mentioned in the entries are kinda just small ideas right#i was hoping that people would read these & feel inspired to write or draw something of their own based on my entries#that was actually what made me start the blog in the first place. the hope that i could inspire others that way#aaahhhhhh.... maybe it's on me since i could have more openly communicated that idea......#i did get to meet one wonderful person who wrote a few fics based on my entries tho!! (hi ali <3)#but yeah..there's that#also the way engagement just dropped significantly after a while#like i know i was gone for a good while & that a lot of people left the fandom and all that#but still getting maybe one reblog if i'm lucky really feels like a punch to the gut#ESPECIALLY considering that i was close to 900 followers on there#do you guys know that feeling when you proudly show someone you care about something you did only to get a disinterested answer?#yeah...#that's essentially how it feels like to me#and well as you might know the feeling of “why should i keep writing if apparently no one cares” eventually won... haha.....#but aaaahhhhh i'm still clinging onto the hope & what ifs here#that conversation with starr really just made me forget about everything that frustrated me about the blog & left me with this#longing feeling to start again lol#hey if you've made it this far into the tags let me just ask--would you care if i picked the blog back up?#would you also *show* that you care?#i'm actually quite curious (you could almost call me george lol)#anyway maybe we'll see each other on today-in-the-devildom again in the future.. who knows
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reading Bu/ry Your Gays because my brother said it was an improvement on Cam.p Damas.cus and like, yeah! Somewhat! I do wanna see where some of the horror threads are going! But man for a guy (gender neutral) who was known for writing short erotic/romance stories, you'd think that the relationships wouldn't be the most cardboard part of the story. yet here we are
#it's actually like. better in fleshing out it's main character than CD so far#and there's been some good horror moments#but it has a lot of the same issues of just. flat always-accurate telling style#therapy speak if you're a Good Person#the main character being truly amazingly empathy-less and selfcentered which would be FINE except i don't like. think they're supposed to b#the side characters are almost exactly the same lmao in that it's:#good friend who has 2 traits and a sexuality#and a love interest Who Is There.#this time the best friend is at least around for more of the book#which is an........ improvement? maybe?#but the love interest is truly. incredibly. There. Present. Possibly. Might have been replaced by a cardboard cutout.#he is Generically Attractive. He is Bisexual. And he is Supportive. and that is It#also chuck doesn't seem to know how the film industry works At All this REALLY should have been about an author#bc the way this guy acts makes a reasonable amount of psychological sense for an author#and pretty much none for screenwriter#vic talks
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god the amount of art i would pump out if i stopped letting lineart talk me out of it i would be unstoppable
#this is a rant @ me and not to sound like i'm bragging when i say what i'm about to say#but i swear to god it takes more time/effort for me to do a cartoonish drawing than a photo realistic-ish drawing and i hate it#because sometimes i just want to do a simple drawing that's just lineart. maybe SOME shading.#but i fuss so much on how the lines should look and where to add more/less lines and what kind of thickness and blah blaaah#i have SO many art ideas i want to bring to life i stress myself out about it#i know that sounds so stupid#like yes just do art! do it bad! it's better than nothing!#but it's... deflating. especially when i literally have an art degree like#5 years of art school and i was barely taught anything about line art#'oh well that's in animation so you'd want to do a degree in television' ???#and those few times lineart was relevant was when there was a naked person in front of us when you're told to just replicate what you see#but we rarely had any variety between models and when i'm in that setting drawing someone my mind is just#~oh god naked person don't stare but i must don't think about it but it needs to be right oh god naked person i'm uncomfortable -+#like it was just overwhelming stress of getting it right rather than actually learning anything#which honestly sums up my art school experience overall#but it also doesn't help when you hate your own body so much and the idea of someone trying to draw you is just humiliating#(like at one point we had to partner up with someone and both paint their portrait AND model their head with clay#and i nearly had a breakdown and refused and asked if i could use someone at home instead#bc I've got plenty of scars and deformities and my face isn't symmetrical and i knew that was either going to be overlooked or exaggerated#and when it's the other way around i try my best to pay attention to detail but it's becoming this debilitating anxiety#of doing exactly that back. and it's made me paranoid to do anatomy related stuff) ANYWAY#it would have been good if people weren't ALWAYS naked and they helped us narrow down how different fabrics work on bodies and stuff#and to help us convey that through LINEART instead of needing to do whole ass paintings and detailed sketches and stuff#[SpongeBob voice] WHAT I LEARNED IN ART SCHOOL IS--- ����#anyway if any fellow artists have any tips they'd be willing to share i would very happily listen#like i've got my drive back to draw things again which in itself is nice but man#it would be nice to not lose steam 5 minutes after anything i start drawing because i freak myself out#okay rant over if anyone's still here thank you for your patience and interest#me ranting
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/50e5ee4745ec53ead7187f905b3e4f50/9449a68a40597c34-81/s540x810/e1257dccb9ab4b7d4e3cc8b94e05c6d6f6267de7.jpg)
a version of yourself living so far away
#sunset shimmer#my little pony#mlp g4#equestria girls#mlp#mlp: equestria girls#um. hi. i like her#have been meaning to do some sunset art for a while and missed how messy loose i was when i was first learning csp#didnt necessarily hit exactly what i was thinking of but its always fun to just mess around#2024#fan#OH ALSO i should say that while i wasn’t thinking abt it directly while drawing this#@eggoatt’s sunset art permanently changed my brain chemistry and probably inspired this in the back of my mind#so go check his stuff out !
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having a fantasy au moment it may or may not pass
#st fantasy au . sav me#likeekj. im not done thinking about cleradin. can we. have we considered. wait. wait. im alraedy writing . wait.#i'm trying sooooooooooooooo hard to be organized and plan it out but. But. i simply cannot stop envisioning scenes#the whole theme of childhood innocence rotting under your floorboards and in your wallpaper and behind your ribs in st#but this time. it's set on the battlefield and in. idfk. a stone castle?? waiiit no mabye a motte and bailey. HM. much to think about#i love drawing from medieval customs for this actually. so many rabbit holes to fall down#and i can't Not put a magic systrm in there#ok getting back on track#i mean i just think particularly with the party. growing up is such a huge part of it thematically the good and the bad and the horrible#and this time it's all about. you know. you're too old now not to go fight for your own future etc but is it actually yours#or has this path been chosen for you by the way things are and how they seem like they'll always be exactly the same#that metaphor in the show turned literal. you are a soldier because of course you are. but what if you Weren't.#<-and what if you didn't have to wrangle yourself into another shape to better fit into the life you should have. or something#i can weave threads of forced conformity vs acceptance in there too especially from mikes point of view I LOVE IT HEREE#i know i'm getting rambly and incoherent i'm exhausted but. do u see my vision
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