#(ANYWAY I LOVE KONOHA TOO OK)

[oh-no-its-bird]

This is a stupid one so gear up for that, but;

The Akatsuki celebrate Christmas with some sort of secret santa / gift swap thing.

Deidara gets Tobi, and is really mad about it because he'd gotten Tobi last year and ended up being mocked for his shitty gift giving skills (among other things)

This leads him to basically go, "shit ok fine. I will give this motherfucker THE best gift. A gift so good he will have no choice but to shut the hell up and just say thank you"

And so he's agonizing over what to give him, because also Tobi is a fucking weirdo and it's so hard to predict him. Deidara could spend hours of time thinking something up and then and hundreds of ryo actually getting something and the freak would make fun of it somehow, but if he got him a misshapen snail shell off the side of the road he might lose his mind in gratitude.

So this is like, a whole puzzle really

Then, he has it. Isn't there some Konoha nin the guy is not so subtly obsessed with...?

So yeah, Deidara kidnapping Kakashi (possibly roping someone else into helping him) as a surprise Christmas gift for Tobi.

This is about to be the worst most humiliating thing to ever happen to Kakashi.

We're going the itadei route because I love itadei, Deidara somehow ropes Itachi (and Kisame) into helping him kidnap Kakashi.

Deidara originally goes for Kisame for help thinking smthn up to get for Tobi, since they seem to get along, and Kisame is the one to mention his Kakashi obsession.

Deidara is like, "oh fuck???" And announces his new plans

Itachi is within earshot and makes a comment on how that's a stupid fucking idea, and seeing as Deidara couldn't even take him down, he'd count his chances with Kakashi.

(Which. Is a bit of an odd scale but don't think ab it too long)

Deidara is like "bitch??? So you can do better?? Huh???"

And Itachi is like "not that I would want to throw myself into such a useless fight. But yes, I could do infinitely better than you. In a lot of aspects in, frankly."

So this devolves and basically Itachi ends up tripping and falling and accidentally volunteering himself to help kidnap Kakashi.

Which, by the way, is not really something either he OR Deidara wants. But he's here now, so.

(*Itadei noises*)

Kisame also possibly ends up coming along for the ride too

So anyways, these guys head off to kidnap Kakashi !! Good for them.

Umm skipping through the entire adventure, Deidara and Itachi bicker (Deidara much louder than Itachi) Kisame treats this whole thing like it's a free comedy show, things (inevitably) get blown up, and, of course, Kakashi is ambushed

So like. Akatsuki, right? Terrorist organization with a goal of doing nefarious things to Jinchuriki. Obviously, Kakashi is kidnapped by them and assumes the worst.

He's a high ranking jonin, ex ANBU captain, close to multiple Hokages, and they were clearly directly targeting him. So yk, he's on guard. Tries to escape several times over, till Itachi dumps him head first in a genjutsu

(one that he loosens when it's Deidara's turn to keep watch, to give him someone to actually watch over so he can "feel useful" (and to annoy him)) <- this is also very disorienting for Kakashi

But instead of torturing Kakashi, when they arribe at their base they ?? Wrap him in ribbons ?? Like a fucking Christmas gift ???

Kakashi has no idea what is going on.

And then they dump him in what is clearly some guys bedroom ???? Without much else security ?????

Kakashi has no idea whats going on.

They do share a bit, and like, Kakashi picks up on what's happening pretty quick (though it makes the entire thing no less insane)

Apparently one of the Akatsuki members is... really into him...? Which, actually, is incredibly valuable information to have.

In general this entire thing is super educational for Kakashi— Deidara doesn't give a fuck what Akatsuki secrets he may let loose, Itachi is checked out from all of this and doesn't care enough to stop Deidara from running his mouth, and Kisame is somewhere in the realm of "as long as they don't talk about anything of our mission, it's probably fine?"

So like. Kakashi is learning things rn. Valuable things. Names and dynamics and whatever the fuck is happening in Itachi's corner of the world (that last bit he's especially interested in, both bc Konoha defect, Sasuke's older brother, and also just. Hey, he helped train that guy. Team ro nostalgia or whatever. There's something there)

They don't... seem to be interested in harming him...?

So for now, even as they leave him in a room he could maybe escape from if he tried to, he kinda self assigns himself a lowkey infiltration mission. A classic "get into their camps via being a prisoner but spy on them from the inside, since that position sees more than the outside anyways."

Which is to say: he doesn't try to escape.

Instead, he buckles in to wait and see where this takes him

So anyways then Obito gets back from wherever he's been off screen. Doing terrorism, probably. And he's also just in time for the akatsuki Christmas party, yippie

And Deidara is like, swanning around, nose in the air, "oh Tobi you'll NEVER guess what gift I got you... really you'll never guess... but it is GREAT and I am winning Christmas FOREVER after this"

And Obito is kinda curious but not too optimistic (he's like 80% sure it's gonna be another clay sculpture that blows up in his face like last year. Though maybe this year it'll be shaped like something he likes...?)

But he's in Tobi mode so he's giggling and going "omg senpai I can't wait <33 I hope you got me a cool stick teehee"

And then Deidara guides him to his own room, and they have a bit of an audience just from how fucking loud Deidara has been bragging about this (also multiple people at this point know what he did and they want to see the reactions)

And Obito opens his door.

And it's.

Kakashi.

In his room.

On his bed.

In an Akatsuki uniform. Wrapped in ribbons.

And they make eye contact. And Kakashi goes, "Maah, I don't suppose you're—"

Obito closes the door.

Obito opens the door back up again.

"That was a little rude, don't you—"

Obito closes the door.

Obito crouches on the floor, just, head in his hands. He might be hyperventilating a little bit.

Deidara is directly over his shoulder going "Huh? Huh? What do you think? Are you speechless or what? Hey, where's my thanks? Do you know how hard this was to do? I had to deal with fucking Itachi to do this, you know, so—"

And Obito, not in his Tobi voice but in his real, much deeper normal voice, interrupts him with, "I need you to shut the fuck up right now"

Deidara does shut up, actually. Miracle that that is. For all of like 10 seconds and mostly out of shock.

But then he's very much NOT shutting up as he puts his hands on his hips and starts going off about how this was SUPER HARD TO DO and Tobi BETTER BE FUCKING GRATEFUL !!!!!!!!!!

Obito is still crouched on the floor with his head in his hands going through every emotion known to man at once.

Kisame and Itachi are directly behind them eating popcorn w some other misc Akatsuki

Obito finally finds his words, which are "you KIDNAPPED KAkAshi??????!???????"

And Deidara is like "YEAH BITCH SINCE YOURE SUCH A SAPPY LITTLE PUPPY DOG FOR HIM I THOUGHT ID GO ABOVE AND BEYOND AS YOUR SENPAI !!! BUT IF YOURE GONNA BE UNGRATEFUL ABOUT IT THEN MAYBE ILL JUST GIVE HIM TO SOMEONE ELSE THEN!!!!"

and Obito is like "YOU CANT JUST G IV e HIM TO PEOPLE !!! HES— HES KAKASHI—!!!" and then quickly corrects himself with, "I MEAN— HE'S A MAN!!!!!"

and Deidara is like "ILL GIVE ANYONE TO ANYONE I DAMN PLEASE!!!!" and whirls around and points at Kisame and goes "YOU. DO YOU WANT HIM?"

And Kisame, who doesn't want him but thinks this whole thing is very funny, just goes, "he's cute."

Which sets Obito off in an entirely different direction, bc now he's screaming about how NO ONE IS GETTING KAKASHI because they are going to PUT HIM BACK IN KONOHA WHERE HE BELONGS

And Deidara is fully screaming too now because he went through SO MUCH FUCKING WORK TO GET THIS MAN HERE!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD HE WAS TO CATCH!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO SUBDUE HIM!!!!! AND HE HAD TO DEAL WITH ITACHI THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!!! THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME!!!!!!!! HIS SMUG ANNOYING ATTITUDE!!!!!!!!!

Itachi continues to eat his popcorn.

Obito and Deidara continue screaming at eachother till Deidara finally goes MOTHERFUCKER YOU ARE NOT WASTING MY HARD WORK and pushes Obito into the room then locks it.

Kakashi, who has heard absoloutley every word that was screamed directly outside his door, and also now feels a lot more safe and secure about his current situation (even as he has come to the tragic conclusion that he was kidnapped by idiots), gives a little bit of a wiggle and goes,

"I don't suppose you could untie me?"

Now. Obito could technically escape, either way kamui or just shifting through the walls

But it would require giving away one of his his trump cards to Kakashi. And also he... well. He does want to, to be clear. He is crawling out of his fucking skin with the desire to be anywhere but here

But at the same time, he... doesn't want to waste this opportunity to just be looked at by Kakashi

Not hiding in the shadows, invisible.

So anyways Obito and Kakashi like, talk idk. Maybe they kiss, who knows.

Kakashi is now fully aware that this guy is apparently a freak about him (and a stalker??? The others mentioned him knowing things he should not know about Kakashi, which is worrying) and he will use this knowledge to his advantage

Obito is not immune to Kakashi taking advantage of him somehow, nor is he immune to potentially letting Kakashi take advantage/trick him somehow, while pretending to be ignorant and keeping that supposed ignorance as a shield to justify to himself why it happened at all

What exactly happens in that room and what happens next is up for the readers to decide, have fun with that

Anyways. Next Christmas Deidara gets Itachi and is, yet again, really fucking mad about it.

He gets way overly invested in giving him the "best" gift, seeing it as an opportunity to "make that bastard be humble and say thank you"

And then because apparently all Deidara seems to know how to fucking do is kidnap people, (tho to be fair, "kidnapping people" is like one of the core foundations of the Akatsuki) he decides a great gift would be kidnapping that little brother of Itachi's for him !!!

He can kill him, torture him, whatever— Deidara doesn't care, he just wants the credit. Man, he's such a good gift giver.

Obviously, handing over the "present" (a terrified Sasuke) goes about as well as Obito's own Christmas gift the previous year. Possibly worse. Itachi is losing his fucking mind but quietly (the most dangerous way to lose it) and on the inside (there are nuclear explosions happening in his brain)

Sasuke is convinced he's about to be murdered and Itachi now has to think of a reason why he can't do that and also hopefully get Sasuke back to Konoha. But also if he just lets him go like he wants to, Deidara will legit lose his fucking mind, which would be annoying.

Hmmm. Torture his brother (again) or deal with Deidara potentiallg throwing a fit because no one ever "appreciates" his hard work in gift giving. What a difficult choice.

Anyways in another world, instead of fucking kidnapping the man, Deidara just made a vaguley horny Kakashi figurine for Tobi and had Sasori help him paint it.

Which ended up getting Obito to spiral and custom commission several more pieces of vaguley horny Kakashi merchandise, till he had a room full of it and could no longer deny the fact he's a certified freak

Umm then Itachi and Deidara make out sloppy style the end

[hashimadathinker]

ok so long textpost abt some tbiz and hsmd i wanna write

kinda scared bc i wanna write this but like, so mych word..... too many word.,,,???!? but also stay away and let ME do it or ill bite man the npd is getting to me bad today ANYWAYS

i hv been listening to crack baby by mitski so,,,, i was thinking,,,, pure angst where tbrm is hokage, hsrm is dead alr, he regrets everything every night and recently he has been having his nightmares MUCH more vividly and they seem to change... could it be a time warp,!?!!???!??,,,.....

⁃ chpt 1 intro and a bit of a setup (regular nightmare, what happened since mdr left)

⁃ chpt 2 talking abt hsrm & mdr, regretting not trying for peace even though hed wanted to

⁃ chpt 3 1-2 dreams and he tracks how different they get. at the end of the chpt maybe he makes some theories

⁃ chpt 4 he wakes up in his childhood bed, he doesnt remember why everything feels so nostalgic, his father tells him to tail hsrm

⁃ chpt 5 he observes hsrm and mdr, sees how close they are yadda yadda, he seems to just know that izn is hiding behind a tree somewhere, even tho he doesnt sense it, he searches for him and feels really intense longing the closer he gets, tbrm sees him and can tell hes uchiha and they have a lil standoff. they talk while they fight and they both decide to just tie. they begin to talk

⁃ chpt 6 izn and tbrm figure out that they will have excuses to see eachother as long as hsrm and mdr do. some chaos blah blah till their dads find out, theyre prepared to have to fight eachother blah blah

⁃ chpt 7 uchiha/senju final battle

⁃ chpt 8 all abt how hsmd and tbiz end the wsp together, izn lives blahhh blah c!divergent semantics of konoha and cutie happy ending

tbh if yall have any add ons or suggestions ill love u forever.. :3c

[spideywhites]

Just came from reading the latest chapter of COS. And after screaming and crying my head out in different directions, all I have to say is... You are an amazing writer and I have faith in you.

Like we got glimpses into Naruto's mentality and disastrous coping mechanisms and the frustrations and hurt simmering between both the twins. This coupled with that horrendous heir contract for Natsume looming in the future has set up a tense stage.

But. Naruto already has grown leaps and bounds compared to how he was in canon at this stage. And I don't mean it solely in terms of skill level. So tbh with the way you are exploring and gutting canon I won't be surprised if he were to grow up even further emotionally as a person.

Cuz let's be honest- the moment Naruto chose to continue to love Konoha, after knowing every fucked up thing they did to Sasuke... I knew his character was being stagnated. To the point I was baffled when Yami Naruto came and Naruto actually got furious at his mom being exported from Uzu to be made into a Jinchuuriki. He is optimistic like Minato (in the sense of knowing how the world is shit but choosing to love it anyways), but mostly because of his horrifically low self esteem and unhealthy coping behaviours (which ok I understand. Cus the choice is between bad and worse). The brainwashing in his academy years and the way the public treated him has just fed into the mindset of rationalising away everything bad and the idea that he is the problem. Vs. Natsu is cynical like Kushina.

Coming back, Naruto's reaction regarding his Mom...makes me think that...when he will learn and understand the full depth of the shit Natsume was put through....he is gonna have a reaction similar to Sasuke (not sure about the I wanna raze Konoha to ground part though lol)

I have a feeling that canon is going to be thoroughly thrown off its rails by the time Shippuden were to arrive (or maybe even before that). Cuz Naruto and Natsume can have their growth arcs, if they are still stuck in the village that is hurting them and leeching off them

This was a brilliant chapter!!

First off, thanks for reading and all your thoughts! I’m glad this chapter was suitably scream-worthy lol. I’ve been trying my best to add in realism outside of the general canon-divergence, because as much as I love the nostalgia of Naruto, it’s lacking a bit when it comes to character depth, a sense of intimacy in relationships (of any kind), and just that good, slow burning build of friendship and maturity.

There’s going to be a lot more divergence ahead! That’s really all I can say tbh! I fear they’ve been trapped in stagnation for too long, it’s time for shit to hit the fan….

[akaakeis]

gnawing at my nails rn i miss my bf (i dont have one) how do u pick like,,, one person to selfship with bc⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

like there r so many options ushijima i dont even know who's my favourite character rn ushijima like guys☹️⁉️⁉️

BUT I cant wait for savyaku😼😼😼😼😼 SOCUTE

goshiki is my babey though he is sososososososososo cute and i would want him irl and i bet i could even pull him irl toooo

yk what this type of starting is called! a HOOK sentence cuz u got HOOKED and now ur reading this long ass ask. WAIT FUCJ mattsun guys hear me out here ANYWAYS. HRU SAV!!!!!!!!!!!! its 4am for yew rn right!!

anyways.. its 4pm havent had lunch yet am so fucking tired but soft rice.. soft white rice.... i want to sleep but rice....... call me basic but soft white rice is the best fucking thing in the entire world right after u. teacher gave my english composition an 80 i think ill end up on the news. i just stood up abruptly and the world went 🌀🌀🌀🌀 should i be worried..!!!!

THERE WAS AN OWL ON OUR ROOF THE OTHER DAY SO COOL i almost started writing akaashi hurt comfort (???) at school today but i didnt get time and now im Too Tired :(

im reading and the mountains echoed by khaled hosseini and erm. the plot is so questionable at times like wdym the guy was in love with his chauffeur wdym she tried to kill her sister and changed her mind last second so it was only paralysis but its ok bc she killed her fr next time. wdym this one girl dated her moms ex and then married her friend's ex like guys.. guys i have Questions..

IDK IF U READ JJK MANGA BUT U SHOULD READ JJK MANGA

i cant wait for ur birthday #weirdkidthings Im So Funny Guys Im So Funny

im going to sleep so hard tonight grrgrgrhrgrg i had ice cream on the way home from school YUM and then math kid era p2 i finished this one thinf before everyone else even started and the teacher asked if i did it qt home cuz wtf. ew now i remember her using her nail to create indentations in the paper and i feel nauseous my skin is crawling

WHATEVER eRmmrmrm im sitting on the stairs rn hashtag procrastination ahahahahah ive been writing this and zoninf out for the past 7 minutes yyyyyippeeee

im so tired guys let me sleeeep

my parenrs were supposed to find baby gender today but the little shit kept its legs shut and didnt let them see (just like me frl)

correction im lying on the stairs rn ..

honestly me x goshiki would be Bomb why is he so unpopular all his fics are mid or questionable so far,,,, anyways. konoha is so beautiful i would want him excpet i have like no grip on his character so #tweaks. i hate andrew tate so fkn much. i cant wait till i turn 16 idk i feel like life will be significantly cooler then. anyways bb i take my leave gotta go eat lunch

i hope youve eaten by the time ur reading this!!! stay hydrated and safe and dm me to be silly together whenever >:]]]]] i hope u have a WONDERFUL day sav!! ily <3

look at my man hes so gorgeous btw

alina... bf... :D alright then! umumumummm honestly there were many characters that i wanted to do a selfship with but i didnt want to be self shipping with the same character that someone im following consistently self ships with LMAO cause i feel like it gets weird for me at that point cause all the hcs in my head get mixed up? ANYWAY i just think of selfships with any character im hyperfixating on at that very moment... in fact my selfship very well may change!!!

anyway since im replying after you decided on yuulina... NOYA AGHHH U GUYS WILL BE SO CUTE TOGETHER!!! IM UR NO 1 SUPPORTER THIS IS YUULINA SUPPORT CENTRAL‼️‼️‼️

savyaku sounds so funny i need to thank of something that sounds better stop rn 💔 BUT I LOVE HIM SO SO SO SO SO MUCH IM SUPER EXCITED TO DO SOME SELFSHIP STUFF :))

u would so pull goshiki irl 🙂��↕️

HELP thanks for the english lesson lina 😭 those terms always make me shudder because they were drilled into my head in my college comp class it was horrifying. and NO not mattsun i do NOT approve of that at this point in time!!!! AND IM OKAY!! tired as hell and i have 3 projects to work on <3 (i stacked my classes this year, im not proud.) IT IS NOW 3 PM AS I ANSWER THIS ASK SO SORRY IT TOOK ME LIKE 12 HOURS WOAH

honestly u were probably tired because you didn't eat but i digress... AND SOFT WHITE RICE HAS MY HEART IT MAY BE AN ASIAN THING?? and awh stawp😋 ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE ENGLISH TEACHER THAT YOU CORRECTED IN CLASS? THE ONE THAT CANT SPEAK AS WELL AS YOU?? insanity 😨 i may end up on the news as well. AND YOURE PROBABLY HUNGRY AND DEHYDRATED GO EAT AND DRINK WATER IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY WHAT??? PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!

WHAT AN OWL ON THE ROOF THATS SUPER COOL!! bro i love owls :( and ugh i get what u mean i feel like sometimes the time just slips away... but its okay! you'll have time at some later date <3 make sure you rest enough!!

guys what my jaw just dropped?? THOSE WERE THE MOST RANDOM PLOT POINTS YOU COULDVE LEFT ME WITH. NOW IM JUST CONFUSED? KINDA WANNA READ IT NOW (my readlist has 100+ books on it)...

AND IVE READ SOME OF IT BUT IM NOT UP TO DATE RN I HAVENT HAD MUCH TIME TO CATCH UP RECENTLY

im excited for your bday too!! im trying to math away the time differences in my head so like i would dm at 12 pm the day before your bday so i would catch u at midnight i THINK.

i hope u are having an AMAZING sleep rn alina!!! and u are so smart <3 barf ur teacher needs to stop doing that thats lowk unsanitary? in my book

HELP ME NOT THE JS LIKE ME FR 😭😭 hopefully u guys are able to figure out the gender soon!! im so excited for you guys <33

goshiki is under appreciated as a character honestly and i think its cause of his fuckass haircut 😭 NO OFFENSE TO YOU WHATSOEVER IM SORRY!! HES CUTE BUT THE HAIR IS NOT FOR ME. when i saw him shirabu AND tendou i was like "what the HELL is wrong with shiratorizawa they are all fucked" no they werent they had semi and ushijima BUT THAT WAS FIRST IMPRESSION ANYWAY also konoha UGRHSHSBNDMSJABD hes so!!! so!!! yeah!!! i love him sm... also how did we get on the topic of andrew tate hes such a weird guy i dont like him 💀 AND SO REAL im excited to be 16 <3

AND I HAVE!! make sure u eat something nutritious before school! and drink some water!! i hope your day is lovely <3 ily!!

[cartoonrival]

ive talked about this one million times but heres my canon compliant timeline between the end of shippuden and the start of boruto

sasuke leaves on his shit trip because he thinks its a trip for atonement and in order for it to count as atoning naruto can't come with him, since atoning is something you're supposed to do solo and is synonymous with suffering. if naruto comes with him he won't be suffering.

naruto is not in love with sakura anymore

hinata is still in love with naruto

naruto isn't really doing anything. he feels sort of aimless. he still wants to become hokage obviously but he's not chasing sasuke anymore and since sasuke is technically "saved" he doesn't really know why it still feels like there's a hole in his chest. kakashi is hokage right now anyways. so in the meantime he'll just train and help rebuild/reconnect. iruka forces him to study.

hinata gathers the courage to ask him out. he's flattered, and says sure because she's nice and she wants to, and he doesn't think he DOESN'T want to, so .. sure. ok

hinata and naruto are dating. this is fine i guess. people seem happy for them, and hinata seems happy so he supposes he must be happy too. sasuke is fine. they exchange letters, but the turnaround is slow. naruto keeps all the letters he gets from sasuke but he isn't really sure why he's doing it. sasuke's fine now!

hinata proposes. naruto is flattered, and says sure because she's sweet and she's nice to spend time with. if she wants to, sure. everyone is really excited and happy for them. he figures marriage must feel like less of a big deal when its yours than when its someone elses.

he sends a letter to sasuke saying that he's getting married. he didn't really tell sasuke that much about his relationship with hinata, which wasn't exactly a conscious decision, there was just other stuff he'd rather be telling sasuke about.

sasuke sends back a letter that says nothing other than "CONGRATULATIONS" in big text. he isn't at the wedding, even though naruto told him when it would be. that's fine, he's busy. he's fine now, he's allowed to be busy. he's bettering himself and it's gonna be good for him. naruto wonders what it would've been like if sasuke was there, and he tries to pretend he's not scanning the crowd for him during the whole event. kissing hinata has the same emotional impact as giving a high five. why do people make such a big deal out of this sort of thing?

sakura has been talking for a while about how she misses sasuke. she and naruto both feel a little lost without building their lives around his rescue.

sakura gets restless and frustrated very quickly when she doesn't have something she feels like she's working towards or something to structure her life around. she decides its been long enough. she wants to bring sasuke home.

naruto wants to come with her, but sakura tells him he's married now, and he should stay home with hinata. this seems like it makes sense, and both of them believe it, so he does. sasuke's fine anyways. the letters are spaced further apart.

sakura finds sasuke outside the land of fire based on information from kakashi. he's surprised to see her, and doesn't tell her to leave, because despite everything she represents a piece of home that doesn't hate him. they don't really have a lot in common, but they both represent something that the other can't get back.

sakura confesses for the same reason she always does, which is because she wants something that doesn't exist but she's hoping that she can lie to herself that it does, and sasuke remembers naruto and hinata and says "okay" even though he doesn't really remember telling his mouth to say that word

when sarada is born, sakura convinces him to come with her back to konoha. out on the road is no way to raise a child anyways, and he's not so stupid that he doesn't know this, so he says okay, and he comes back to konoha even though walking through the village feels like being stripped naked over and over

naruto has a kid now too, with a stupid name. he looks just like his dad, and sasuke doesn't even mind holding him.

being back in konoha makes sasuke want to rip out his hair. he feels suffocated, and no one who glances at him on the street is too shy to remind him that being forgiven by naruto will never mean forgiveness from the rest of the world.

at the very first sign of a chance to leave konoha, he takes it, and he leaves without saying goodbye. he tells himself it's because the mission is time sensitive, but he still has time to see naruto before he goes. he decides that sakura is better with kids anyways. she's always taken care of sarada more than he did, mostly because he strayed from home as much as possible

10 or so years pass, boruto begins

[whitesnakewine]

im scared of the wider fandom so i came here to bother you instead, because you have the most based takes

ok so. i feel like as a kid, orochimaru had a weird crush on hiruzen. exact same vibe as kid kabu's crush on oro. they admired and resented him, because he was everything they wanted to be (the hokage, master of almost all ninjutsu), but he was also holding them back. not letting them fulfill their true potential. to them, he was a wall they could never climb over, a constant one-sided struggle to overcome their sensei.

of course, all of that culminated in them killing him. they clearly take immense joy in the act, even pleasure. it distinctly mirrors kabuto after sasuke killed orochimaru; this sort of manic desire for something to struggle against. some kind of authority holding them back, someone for them to really sink their teeth into. as a child, they attached themself to him because they had no one else. and he indulged that bond, showing them just enough kindness, just enough love to keep them dependent, but never enough to make them feel like they were worth it. hiruzen saw orochimaru as both his child, and a dangerous parasite. orochimaru saw hiruzen as both their dad, and their prison warden.

do u fuck w/ the kabuto parallels or am i getting too freudian. lmao. anyways thats all uhh sorry for bothering u, love ur posts, keep up the good work o7

my take isnt even that good compared to most of my priv moots, im just an average viet with 3/5 reading comprehension🧍

its just really fucking weird out there with all the anti-intellectual kids online

i honestly only post slightly lukewarm orokabu take for 5 followers, two of them russians and one of them chinese, they dont even speak english, ik im cooking when they liked my posts

ALSO Yes please do bother me about more oro and kabuto's hcs I'm desperate to talk more about them than skimming fat of their *gesturing at all of them*

I fully agree with you about Oro's admiration toward Hiruzen is similar to Kabu's admiration toward Oro. Hiruzen was a fascinating case of good teacher but shit parent, he raises Oro and pay special attention to Oro but as a teacher, not a guardian or parent. Despite knowing Oro's wanted a parental figure/ someone to guide them and accept them. Hiruzen doesn't just treat Oro as his own kid, he treats the entire village as his own kids.

And for a kid, this sort of special attention could get into their head. It's easy for Oro to think maybe, Hiruzen love them or adore them or possibly even cherish them. But Hiruzen doesn't act like their parents so this must be something else. And they'd ponder over what sort of love is that. What does it all mean? what are they to Hiruzen? what can they be to Hiruzen? what can they do for Hiruzen?

I think the exact moment Oro become Jonin was when Hiruzen stop giving a shit about them. Because to Hiruzen, he did his part of "watching over the village's kids", Oro isn't a child anymore and there's the entire village to raise.

And it's so tragic because to Oro, they had thought there's something special between them and their teacher (that they barely figure out). While Hiruzen only remember Oro as they were (when they were a child)

I always think back to the flashback during Oro vs Hiruzen's fight, its interesting how Hiruzen doesn't remember Oro as a Sannin, THE legendary sannin, this shouldve been their greatest achievements as one of Konoha hero. But Hiruzen recalled Oro as the child he failed to raise as his own.

This led to my next point, the reason why i think Oro resent Hiruzen to the point of killing him. When Oro become Jonin was also the exact moment Danzo closing in like a bloodhound.

I think Oro only works with Danzo with the expectation that Hiruzen would notice them again, like how kids turn rebel in hope their parents will finally look at them. And Danzo is Danzo, he would immediately catch on what fragile adoration Oro have with their teacher and think of way to use it.

By the time Hiruzen did notice Oro again, Oro doesn't care anymore. They've been digging their grave for years in hope that anyone would notice them, while Danzo completely isolated them. What Oro behind for Hiruzen when they flee the village was something cold and full of hatred.

And personally, I think when Oro found Kabuto. They spoiled him rotten, drown him in attention and praises and teach him everything under the sun, he's getting everything that Hiruzen withhold from Oro.

And it made things complicated because Kabuto did have a mother who dotes on him and teaches him and love him and Oro isn't quite right. Kabuto doesn't think of Oro as his parents. But he still craves parental acknowledgement from Oro ( l really don't know what up with him/♡ affectionate)

Kabuto doesn't know what to make of it. And it all loop back into another cycle in this case the role is reversed for Oro. In this case, it's Kabuto going What does it all mean? what is he to Oro? what can he be to Oro? what can he do for Oro?

also i absolutely do fw Freudian/Oedipus orokabu its like a point i tried to make in a fic im working on. I really want more fics about them from this angle.

[stepswowdsen]

【KagePro】 KuroEne Shibari (Rope Bondage) + Maid Kuroha plays with Ene (NSFW) 🖤💙

(CW: NSFW)

Kuroha teases Ene with a vibrator (NSFW)

It just came to mind but ngl it'd be cool to draw a long forked snake tongue variant of this doodle as well. It'd be quick to draw as well.

I think the 1st one with the smug grin fits more, but both are nice ^^

KuroEne Scenario Ideas (NSFW)

Kuroha teases Ene with a vibrator

Maid Kuroha plays the roleplay game with Ene

Kuroha ties Ene up with mild shibari (rope bondage)

Sen's Meow Meow Mfs

Masc charas I don't play about: Meow meow mfs 🐈‍⬛🖤🤍

Evil/morally bankrupt little guy!

(Tbh my faves are usually giant…)

Though I have faves who are average height too, like Hibari and Judar

Douman (FGO): 200 cm (6'7")

Hibari (KHR): 169 cm (5'7")

Xanxus (KHR): 188 cm (6'2")

Idate (WATGBS AU): 185 cm (6'1")

Judar (Magi): 173 cm (5'8")

Kuroha/Saeru (KagePro): 182 cm (6'0")

Note: While possessing Konoha's body

I'll put my previous ramble posts under the cut since this post is based on my previous posts. I'll also put my new ideas under the cut too

Anyways I think putting a Content Label and Read more before posting NSFW is a good idea cuz it gives people the option whether they want to opt into seeing it and a warning beforehand so they don't get jumpscared by it (like if you're in public or something)

I prefer clothed intimacy most of the time like it just looks sexier to me. Since the charas are fully clothed, it's pretty tame and nothing explicit is showing but putting a warning cuz the context is NSFW

Anyways I'm trying to practice drawing NSFW cuz I wanna get good at it one day 🙏

Normally I post rambles that I prepared in advance to post cuz I just copy paste them from my Notion docs but I felt sleepy yesterday so I didn't post them before. So I'm just gonna post some stuff I had in mind Ig

Gonna put a warning cuz the doodles are fully clothed intimacy, but REALLY NSFW.

Anyways I'm glad I'm getting better at drawing NSFW ^^

These are much better than my doodles from 2021 - 2022 (which I won't even show cuz they look like doodoo)

Maid Kuroha plays the roleplay game with Ene (NSFW)

Kuroha teases Ene with a vibrator (NSFW)

Kuroha teases Ene with a vibrator (NSFW)

It just came to mind but ngl it'd be cool to draw a long forked snake tongue variant of this doodle as well. It'd be quick to draw as well.

Also did an alt version where Kuroha has a long forked snake tongue

I think the 1st one fits more cuz I like the smug grin, but the 2nd one is also cool

I'm not really paying attention to the way the clothes are drawn in these since I just wanna get the basic idea down

I love their expression here hehe

Also just put the JP version this time cuz I prefer the text formatting in JP. It's easier to format text. I also included the cropped versions

Ene suspended by ropes (shibari rope bondage) (NSFW)

Kuroha/Saeru and Ene play a little game 🖤💙🐍🐇

KuroEne NSFW WIP

When Kuroha proposes wanting to play a game of shibari rope bondage and tying her up, Ene gets all embarrassed as usual, and then agrees to play with him.

Ene: YOU AND YOUR PERVERTED GAMES AGAIN!

Kuroha: I won't deny that. But knowledge comes from experience, right?

She makes him promise to just make it tight enough so that she doesn't fall, or anything, and that it only feels pleasurable and not painful. And Kuroha agrees with her terms.

I redrew Ene’s expression a few times but I’m pretty happy hehe

I still wanted it to be a comfortable position for her so I think this is ok.

Mild bondage is ok for me when it comes to ship intimacy 👍

I’m not into the heavy/extreme forms of it.

I’m not paying too much attention to the ropes so I just used a brush to get the basic idea down.

I'll also show the version without the rope brushes cuz it's covering the sketch

THIS IS FUEL FOR MY GAY ASS. YIPPEE!!!

Technically it’s just Ene but it’s KuroEne (implied). I didn’t know how to fit Kuroha into the piece so I’ll probably sketch something different with him. Like showing his reaction on the other side.

Or drawing both of them from side view, like when Kuroha walks up to her and leans in to touch her face gently while she's tied up.

Suspension bondage where Ene gets held up by ropes and has mild shibari (rope bondage) over her clothes 🥰💞

I was wondering whether to make the ropes black or red… Black, yellow, and red, are all Kuroha’s colours, so I think either is fine. I should probably add more ropes later.

Mf wants to see a needy Ene beg for him 🥰 Once he gets the reaction he wants, he’ll cut the rope that holds the vibrator in place, and then fuck her himself like that. When they’re done, he lets her down.

Ene: Let me down gently! Carry me! Ene is a delicate flower!

Ene: (//>3<//)

These two are so fun to write ship scenarios for, including ship intimacy… The pros of a guy that knows (almost) everything, can change his body into anything he wants, and is very open to experimenting in sex 👍

KuroEne AU: Maid Ene plays the roleplay game wtih Kuroha (NSFW)

Sadistic meow meow mf plays a game with Ene in a maid outfit where she does maid roleplay for him (ie. cleaning the room, making tea) while having a vibrator inside her and Kuroha sits back and messes with the settings. And when he's satisfied, he fucks her.

KuroEne AU: Maid Kuroha plays the roleplay game with Ene

I'll just summarize this. Ene wants to get "revenge" on Kuroha/Saeru for teasing her mercilessly last time. Last time being the above scenario I described ^^

Ene's attempts to embarrass and fluster Kuroha/Saeru just ends up flustering her more. Her forms of "punishment" for Kuroha/Saeru's "bad behaviour" (Him not doing what she wants, like him spilling paint all over the walls and floors when she tells him to clean), are not punishments at all for him.

Ene decides to "punish him" for making a mess, by face sitting on him and making him take it and ordering him to eat her out, but then just has a sudden realization to herself like "Wait a minute… Is this even a punishment for him???"

(It's not.)

Ene: I TOLD YOU TO CLEAN, NOT CAUSE A MESS!!!

Kuroha: Come now. Do you really think I'd let you have your fun with me, only for me to be a passive participant?

Kuroha: I don't want to make things TOO easy for you. That would simply be boring.

Kuroha: But, let me make one thing clear. I'll be sure to claim my reward after we’re done.

Ene: That’s just so like you… Ok, ok! We’ll take turns! It’s only fair!

Kuroha: Of course~ It’s only fair we both get what we want.

Ene: Just wait until you're the one getting teased!!! BRING IT ON!!!

...

Ene initially thought that embarrassing him would be EASY (a piece of cake), but it turns out that while he likes getting teased in intimacy, he has no sense of embarrassment. And she eventually realizes that and decides she needs to change her game plan.

(In Ene's mind -> He's a mega pervert)

Kuroha just shrugs cuz of course he has perverse tastes. But then simply says that knowledge comes from experience.

Ene thinks to herself that while she likes taking the reigns in bed, she's actually not as good at the "punishment games" type of intimacy that he (Kuroha) is.

Ene thinks she can tease and fluster Kuroha once he's the one playing maid/Servant for her, but as always, he is going along with her whims because it's fun for the both of them. He causes mischief because he doesn't want to make the game "too easy" for her.

I wasn't sure whether I wanted to include this but I had this idea where Ene starts mimicking what Kuroha did in their previous games

...

Just had this thought where Ene tells him to lift his maid's skirt up for him, and Kuroha notices and picks up on it like, "I see, I see… You're copying what I did, hm? Well, I don't mind." And then does as asked and lifts his skirt up. Ene looks down and goes like (.) when she sees that he's hard, and immediately turns red-faced. And then screams, "Don't you have any shame!?!?" (///)

If I were to draw this, I'd have one of those manga panels where it's just a view of the outside of the building/house, and a speech bubble of Ene screaming like $(&!@%!@!%@)!%@

And Kuroha starts laughing at how Ene's attempts to embarrass him are just embarrassing her more. Then says, "Is it really such a big deal? We've done it countless times before. I don't have such inhibitions."

And Kuroha just goes like, "But how could I resist such a sweet and alluring prey, hmm~? It's simply too tempting~ I can't wait to see the expressions you'll make~ It makes me aroused just thinking about it…! How you'll moan and whimper and twitch—"

And Ene just fumes red from embarrassment and goes like, "ANDDDD THAT'S ENOUGH OUT OF YOU!!!"

Like god this mf just says/does the most provocative shit to provoke her on purpose 😭

DAKLSKLDSKLDKLS this idea is so funny to me ngl

KuroEne Shibari (Rope Bondage) (NSFW)

Thinking about KuroEne shibari rope bondage with Ene with the rope ties over her clothes…

MOVE, KUROFUCKER, OUT OF THE WAY. I'M GAY!!!

It's still gonna be mild shibari though

It's not my thing for it to be super heavy.

I thought about the Outer Science MV, and how it's scattered with telephone poles and cords, and various junk heaps strewn across the backgrounds

Ngl it'd be cool if it's like…

Cuz I was trying to decide whether I wanted Ene to be tied up on the bed just with her arms on the bed (and her back on the bed), like usual sex positions

Or whether I wanted her to be suspended a bit (still in a comfortable position, though), where she's suspended in the air via ropes and held in place via his ropes and black aura spirals

I decided to go with mild suspension/hanging bondage. But I'm open to drawing both ^^

Cuz again I'm not into heavy/extreme kink stuff in my ships' bedroom intimacy.

Ene pouts and huffs at him that the ropes BETTER not come loose cuz it'd be super unsexy if she falls on the ground during sex, and Kuroha tells her not to worry because he's made sure the ropes are tight/secure enough and that he knows what he's doing.

[bogbees]

ok these ones are more ab world building sunagakure bc i love the sand sibs and hate how kishimoto went ab that village

Concept: sunakagure was carved like a bowl out of a mountain. The kazekage's building dead centre at the bottom - prob prone to flooding 2:33 AM · Jun 19, 2017

But prob not because the founding fathers of suna would have designed it with a flood drain system and pipes for indoor plumbing or whatever

Bc it HAS to be an oasis. Has to be. There's got to be a bloody underground lake - which would be rad imagine sneaking off to swim

Anyway built like a bowl. Buildings are built like 100ft from the top of the mountain I guess and gradually get lower and lower

Like Santorini just stairs everywhere everyone has killer calves from all the stairs - how gaara can exist as a ninja bc of all the stairs

Anyway I just like making suna cooler than it actually is, god there's so much wasted potential there. Just make Konoha but made out of rock

Like the buildings are made of rock, looks like old Cario or Jaislamer, with basic tunnels in the rock surrounding the village I guess

But with the underground lake, they have greenery and everyone uses colourful fabrics for shade and colours to accent shops and homes

It's not just sandy, windy and basic I like to think.

Naruto visits and Kankuro is like "I warned you about the stairs bro" 4:25 PM · Jun 27, 2017

Suna tots has bubble tea. Fuck it. 8:37 AM · Jul 29, 2017

Suna…. would have public baths too…… 4:20 AM · Aug 1, 2017

i've been looking at some many images of gol gumbaz i completely forgot that my vers of the suna admin building has a central courtyard 1:22 AM · Aug 2, 2017

cause i imaged the first kage to have used the house like the white house is used in america?? and the garden is just something nice

More rad suna: Everyone wears knee length dresses and leggings under their cloaks. There's no difference between men and women's fashion 5:14 AM · Oct 25, 2017

And veils and long dresses/ skirts are a symbol of wealth and are only worn by high society or at weddings by bride and groom

Ninjas are expected to wear midriff exposing outfits to "highlight their power" and to remind guests "yo fucks I got a guy who can kill you"

But only at fancy parties. Ninja's usually wear whatever the fuck they want. See a guy wearing a t-shirt? Yeah he's a ninja

So say high society wind country throws a party and invites the sand sibs to it. They'll all wear veils and long skirts

Temari and Kankuro will bare their midriff while Gaara will not - kazekage, you know him anywhere -- tho u really shouldn't technically ??

Temari hates the class system and only dresses up for important events. Kankuro loves dressing up for every event. They're both best dressed

Gaara… Gaara just wears a nice casual dress and pants and throws on his white scarf over his head. They hate him bc he's beautiful still!

Temari eventually drops Wind country fashion for Fire country fashion 5:32 AM · Oct 25, 2017

[yuukei-yikes]

im a casual kagepro fan 😔 i used to be REALLY REALLY into it like in 2014-2016 to the point that kid me actually like. celebrated August 14/15 every year with various gore-themed baked goods. and then i went to college and dropped out of every fandom forever :(

but it's ok i hope, bc i follow you in hopes of regaining my former fervor and un-casualing myself :) just sitting here reveling in your hcs and drawings and trying to remember who everyone is lmao (could never forget the main cast but for some reason i always mix up kenjirou and some other guy . but i think they are different guys.?)

anyway not much of a point to this ask but yea i appreciate your enthusiasm a lot!!

HIIII god thats so awesome. i got into kagepro when i was a kid too (i was 13) i just never got out of it.... it makes me happy im helping u revisit it!! and i hope u get to feel the joy of analysing every single pic u see.

u probably mix up kenjirou and clearing eyes/saeru or as u probably know it, kuroha (we stopped calling it that a while ago!!) snake = eye power. clearing eyes is the evil snake that ends up possessing kenjirou and later on haruka/konoha's body hence the kuroha but its just a snake possessing both kenjirou and haruka's bodies. thats probably who u mix up?? or the other side character grown man is tsukihiko, azami's husband and marys grandfather. erm. hope this helps❤️ i love overexplaining kagepro ❤️

also honestly i made that post just to say im embarrassed i wasnt serious abt the Dont follow me thing LOL anyone can follow me! and tbh i do follow a lot of ppl BECAUSE they are super into a specific thing i know nothing abt, particularly bc i know what it's like to be so dedicated to something and share to a niche audience for the fun of it... I Get It and it makes me so happy to see people do it bc to me its the most genuine!!! so itd be hypocritical to be like NO!! DONT FOLLOW ME IF UR NOT A KAGEPRO FAN 4 LIFE!!!! but also dont judge me and let me be cringe

[semi-imaginary-place]

the mangekyo is classic kishimoto. he needed a cool powerup thats the explanation, you can clearly tell he was just doodling cool eye design and came up with an excuse later. the mangekyo isn't from killing someone its from the grief of someone you love dearly dying, because the uchiha are the clan of emotion (the one consistency in the manga). all sharingan upgrades are from intense emotions. and mangekyo only unlocks with the most intense emotion: grief. there's plenty of uchiha that awakened it even if they didn't directly kill their loved one. anyways the explanation is that the intense emotion causes a chakra reaction in the brain that causes their eyes to change. see the secret is that naruto is 95% bullshit like this. mangekyo sharingan is a great example of the phenomena.

i hate this explanation so much. special brain chakra... and then the mangekyo is a more extreme version requiring even stronger emotions. the sharingan doesn't normally develop over time. it requires the intense emotions to level up and it just so happens that putting child soldiers in a war in life or death situations where most of their friends and family die tends to meet those requirements.

im rotating the fire lightning sasuke chakra affinity debate in my head. Sasuke's shown talent with both making giant fireballs in like a week and a small one on his first try and lightning chidori in a month. He uses a mix of fire and lighting jutsu. So theres no strong evidence in either those two points that tilts the scales. His mangekyo sharingan is the most unique and personal of his skills and ameterasu (sun goddess) is a fire skill. This is probably the strongest evidence that he's fire affinity. His clan's specialty is fire. On the lighting side is how he's a reincarnation of indra, indra irl the hindu god of the sky (indoeuropean sky father diety thik odin or zeus) so theres a strong association with lightning there, most of the jutsu sasuke's created has been lightning too like kirin or the sword thing.

Finishing up the naruto manga and i have to say sauce-gay is the worst at thinking, truly not a single thought rattling around in there only murder. When naruto is the brains reasoning side of thia fight, you should knkw you've messed up. Im going to kill itachi -> im going to kill everyone in konoha -> im going to kill the kages just because -> save the world teehee -> jk lmao back to killing all the kages, bijuu, and ofc naruto.

One thing i find interesting about the third hokage hiruzen is how his belief in the good in others causes so many problems. Hiruzen believes so strongly in people being their best selves than he will overlook anything and everything and do nothing about problems because he thinks those problems will fix themselves. Danzo and orochimaru are great examples of this. Danzo: betrays hiruzen Hiruzen: thats ok you care about konoha Danzo: tries to throw a coup Hiruzen: thats ok you care about konoha Danzo: betrays hirizen again Hiruzen: thats ok you care about konoha Danzo: kidnaps and tortures children Hiruzen: thats ok you care about konoha Danzo: genocides the uchiha clan Hiruzen: slap on the wrist. Really the whole uchiha affair was very indicative hiruzens personality and leadership style. He makes attempts at dialogue but makes 0 policy changes to back up his words or address the grievances of the uchiha. Because he believes it will all work out in the end, the fugaku and the uchiha are good people and a part of konoha so of course hiruzen doesnt actually need to take any action or need to demonstrate that the uchiha that they are a part of konoha. I think in any other job hiruzen would have just been the kindly old man and a good person but because he was in a leadership position where his negligence and willingness to believe the best in people, he was complicit in just a lot of evil like all the torturing kids wow.

The konoha leadership or the narrative potential of it i find very interesting. But thats mostly because i like political dramas. I would happily read a political drama about all the factionalism and clan politics of konoha and probably like it better than the actual series. All the hokages and leadership end up a bit morally ambiguous. On the pretty clearly evil but does have a couple points is danzo who was right how sometimes sacrifices must be made but his vision of konoha was so tied up in his own ego. His foal was what was best for konoha but what he saw as best for konoha oh so conveniently placed him in a position of unilateral total power. And thus anything he did to advanced his own position also in his mind advanced the interest of konoha. On the other end is hashirama who did so a lot to end violence and brokered a lot of peace agreements and instead of 6 year olds he was only sending out 10 year olds to for die for their nation. Progress. And he also went and enslaved the bijuu as war weapons. And rhen theres tobirama who invented public education but also zombies, encoded factionalism into law and isolated the uchiha his clan's rival clan (and we all know how well than ended up).

Back to political drama. Boruto seems really bad like really really bad and i don't think it should have been made at all. But if the premises were to be salvaged i think the best way would be to make it a work comedy/political drama/midlife crisis story geared toward struggling 40 year olds. Of course this would never sell which is why they didnt do it. But you could really revel in the mess of things. Stressed out, overworked, marriage in shambles, dreams all crumbled to dust. Like naruto and hinata married at 19 and had a kid at 20. Yikes slow down. A more interesting take would have been that naruto didnt particularly want to marry hinata but wanted all the things that came with it. Naruto's a people pleaser this is canon, and hinata loves him unconditionally and fiercely in a way he has no reference for so of course he loves her back and wants her to be happy. Naruto is nice like that. He alao has little references for healthy marriages. He wants to be happy, he wants to be loved, he wants a normal family, he wants kids. And you know the hyuuga clan was putting on the pressure. Town hero and future hokage? Oh they are jumping on that. And he likes being with hinata but the pressures getting to him and the job is getting to him, he's wanted this for so long so of course he has to push himself. But he's unhappy and desperately in denial that he is unhappy because he has everything he's ever wanted what could be wrong.

... boruto (the kid) is a boomer. Like a literal post war baby boom

A lot of people were mad at that kishimoto decided to put a war in naruto and im not. The writing is bad but a lot of the writing in naruto is bad..i dont hate the concept because war is a reoccurring theme in naruto. The last continent wide war was a little over 15 years ago so all the adult characters are traumatized by it. Their society is geared towards perpetual war and the constant imminent of threat of war drives the politics of all the nations. And the 4th shinobi war does continues the main themes of Naruto. Because the contingent is caught in a cycle pain and hurt where wars are waged against each other but finally they arent fighting each other they are fighting with each other, they break that cycle. This ties in with the other theme that people cant do things alone (nagato, itachi, madara, obito), people are stronger together (naruto, the allied shinobi force). The "with all our power combined" thing is heavy handed but eh naruto isnt a good series. Ninja war had parts that were very good and them a whole lot of filler inbetween. Pacing was bad.

Contrast this with bnha (which im currently reading) which overall is a better series with better writing but unlike naruto, bnha did not have those underlying themes of war so its was arc is more out of place. In some ways bnha is more political especially in the social justice sense. The dynamic between those with and without quirks in particular i find interesting. In that when quirks first appeared those with them were heavily discriminated against. The term "quirk" itself in universe was an act of early quirk activism. And to this day those with very visually noticeable quirks or bodies that look different are discriminated against in the same society where now a quirkless kid will get bullied for not having a quirk. Those who are oppressed are not innocent of never further the oppression of others. Like irish americans becoming cops

[oh-no-its-bird]

Chasing Shadows inspired time travel au where Fugaku and Kakashi get zapped to the warring states, but things become tricky when they keep looking to Hikaku as their shared "figure of respect/responsibility" (bc hes the Uchiha head in future Konoha, having lasted long enough to make Fugaku his heir) when at this time he's just barley third in command and Madara is like. RIGHT there.

That's not even mentioning the ticking time bomb of "Kakashi looks like Tobirama did as a child" that's already been established, that's gonna cause problems (half-Hatake Tobirama who's Kakashi's blood uncle agenda goes brrr)

(For those who don't know what Chasing Shadows is, all u really need to know for this is that Kakashi is 6, Fugaku is 19, and Hikaku is the acting Uchiha clan head at 76. A week after his fathers suicide, Kakashi found out he's related to Tobirama via his grandmother, projects on him really fucking hard, and eventually ends up with Hikaku acting as one of multiple mentor figures to him.)

Fugaku, aware that the Uchiha compound of this era isn't uhh. The best place for a Hatake kid who resembles one of their greatest enemies to a suspicious degree: "maybe u should leave actually. Go shack up with the Senju or smthn"

Kakashi, now heavily biased towards the Uchiha bc of Hikaku and Fugaku: "ok but why."

Izuna, standing directly behind him holding a giant mallet:

The Uchiha are arguing ab what they should do w Kakashi and if they should like. Take him as political hostage (assuming, not entirely incorrectly, that he's related to Tobirama and Hashirama) but also like. The Hatake are an isolated clan that famously react very fucking badly when their kids are threatened. So is this a potential political tool for them to use or a ticking time bomb to when they accidentally potentially get a new clan (who's already allied to the Senju) involved in their feud.

The Uchiha writing to Tobirama and Hashirama like "we have ur secret little brother/cousin(?) come talk to us now or he gets it"

"You have our what."

Hashirama is going "ahaha oh nooo my secret little brother,, who I love very much and also know exactly who ur talking about but would love it if u could send a portrait or chakra signature or smthn just to make sure its the right kid,,, u know how it is <3"

I feel like I've used that beat before actually. Which one of my like 20 Kakashi to warring states time travel aus have I pulled this in?? Possibly multiple tbh

Anyways Hashirama also going "oh nooo u have my baby brother,, I guess we have no choice but to talk andmaybedopeace"

Anyways. I need a Hikaku focused character study sooo badd,, the pipe he uses in Chasing Shadows is Madara's, have I mentioned that yet? Bc it totally is and no one really knows that and like. Hikaku sure as fuck won't mention it bc it'd really only bring bad things

Kakashi and Fugaku are making surprised Pikachu faces at Hikaku like every time they see him, neither can get over seeing him this young and not blind and also not in charge. It's unnatural.

Even logically knowing that they can't just place their full trust in him bc hes not their Hikaku, they still can't stop themselves from doing it accidentally— Fugaku is his ward, he was raised by the guy. And Kakashi is a moody 6 year old who only has like 5 actually trusted adult figures in his life and only 3 of those he gives actual respect and Hikaku is one of those 3.

That's totally gonna fuck them over in the future bc, again, Hikaku doesn't know them!!! His clan and his loyalty to Madara + Izuna will always come first over these odd strangers, sorry

Maybe throw Mikoto in too, who's Izuna's granddaughter (that resemblance is gonna cause issues) and Fugaku's begrudging fiance (Hikaku said Fugaku could become clan head on ONE condition— marrying Izuna's granddaughter back into the main line), could be fun

Maybe I'll try to write smthn like this once I'm more into the meat of chasing shadows and have set up the Hikaku-Fugaku-Kakashi dynamic enough that people are invested in it

[reddawnmultimuse]

Deidara laughs boisterously at the implications Jiraiya was making. "Me? Fall in love with you, hn?" He says between laughter. He'd sooner fall in love with Sasori than a stray old man Itachi and Kisame brought back from Konoha. Wasn't like he was going to be alive long enough to "fall in love" with anyway. He had maybe a day left in him, two max. He wasn't even going to touch the "fall in love with sex" line either.

"I don't trust you, hn. Let's say hypothetically I did take up your invitation. Hypothetically! I don't think you'd tell me anything so I'd get nothing and you'd get a free fuck!"

Though, even if he knew without a doubt that Jiraiya would tell him information in exchange for sex, he wouldn't do it. Deidara may be a horny teenager and a little touch deprived--ok, a lot touch deprived--he wasn't going to do it. Even no matter how tempting it was to get something out of the Sannin when Sasori could not. Pein himself couldn't get the blonde to do it--ok, maybe Pein could but he doubted he'd order Deidara to do such a thing.

He tried not to think too deep into it. Especially the "cuffing" part. He'd never been in a domineering position. Sasori never let him. No, don't think about it! Last thing he wanted was to be bored and sexually frustrated all night.

Jiraiya smirks. Now this game he’s enjoying much more than mocking his tormentors. Deidara is reasonable, almost kind. And very reactionary. All the pieces for a much more fun time than the tantrums of the dumb dumbs. Plus he’s fairly certain the blond is attracted to him. It makes it all much more fun to tease.

“You don’t know. It probably isn’t worth your time.” He turns his head slowly to face Deidara. “I bet I could make you fall in love with sex. Maybe even fall in love with me.” He states with confidence.

Was Deidara curious? Maybe a little wanting? Why ask these questions about sex if he wasn’t? He breathes deeply and arches his back, stretching out for a moment.

“You can cuff me if you think I’m going to jump you. I’m fun just for a ride~!” He winks and blows a kiss as he raises his hands up to the bars above his head to demonstrate. “Maybe I’ll give you a little something just to show up the puppet, hm? You two are competitive and petty. Do you get a cookie if you outdo him?”

[tamelee]

Hey, I saw your ask about Gaiden and I want to add something because this theory used to be my big obsession. I never watched Boruto super intently so maybe I got something wrong, so I’m sorry if it happens. Anyway these are my thoughts:

1. Why on earth Karin would keep Sakura’s umbilical cord (or whatever it was)???? It just doesn’t make any sense. Even if they like each other now it’s still weird as hell. And why would Sakura give a birth outside the village? Shouldn’t they go back from their trip when the pregnancy was advanced??? Also doesn’t make sense.

2. I read somewhere that Orochimaru might have stolen some of Sasuke’s dna years ago when he was his student, and then make Sarada without his knowledge, and I think it makes a lot of sense actually. Sasuke would find out and take the baby because he knows how it feels to live with Orochimaru (not the nicest thing ever), also didn’t want Orochimaru to get sharingan, but he still didn’t want to be stuck in the village, so he asked Sakura for help (she was a medic so I guess she could also check if the baby is OK)

3. Sakura found it as a perfect opportunity to finally get closer to Sasuke, so she convinced him that it’s the best for the baby to pretend that they are her parents.

So yeah, this is the end of the story 😅 I just wanted to share my thoughts, thought that maybe you’d found them interesting 😄 Have a great day!

Hi @pattie1k ^^ ♡ I have a few posts on that topic here and here. And dw, I also don't watch 'Boruto', but I tried reading the Manga (￣ω￣)"

I read that in Japanese culture sometimes they give the umbilical cord to the midwife? I'm not too familiar with this concept but I find this a reach regardless. As I say in the posts too, why would Karin call the desk she keeps the cord in "a part of her" anyway? And it's like you say, none of it makes sense. Orochimaru's hideout would be the last place Sasuke would let Sakura give birth in if it is true he dragged her around while she was pregnant and loved her so much.

No way Orochimaru would need Sakura's help..

Well that was part of my theory too and reason why Sarada stays with Sakura in Konoha.

But I want to get back to your second point. And this is actually a popular Headcanon that I never talked about. Orochimaru having Sasuke's DNA.

I don't remember all the details so feel free to correct me but remember when everything split?

It is WAY more likely Orochimaru was trying to create some sort of OP child with both pure-blooded Uchiha and Uzumaki genes. And btw I said this before but who says it had to be Sasuke's genes anyway? Who says Orochimaru didn't have Itachi's DNA laying around? I know, morbid, but they were both in Akatsuki.. anything is possible tbh (though not likely). Sasuke was with him almost 3 years where he did all sorts of tests and experiments, where Kishimoto made it clear that Snake-man had a thing for Sasuke's body (I know, ew) and just did whatever... why would he not have DNA is more the question. And why would Karin refuse?

Well, it would explain a lot if Sarada was an experiment, but some things definitely went wrong. She should've pretty much been the most OP child to have ever existed. Could the glasses be a hint? I MEAN COME ON IT HAS TO BE. That, or Kishimoto is trolling. Or both. She got the Sharingan, but inherited Karin's bad eyesight. Oops. (Obito wore goggles to protect his eyes, that's different.) Karin can't teach her Jutsu because she isn't raising her and they're keeping it a secret, for what reason exactly? What are they avoiding anyway? Too many questions that were never answers and are now being ignored because they all live in Esaka's Lala-land. Idk, lol, it's fun to think about but I wonder if Kishimoto's narrative is already completely erased. Or maybe Sakura wins the poll and we get another fun Manga about her smashing down the house.

[dememetor]

Haikyuu boys when they're drunk

characters iwaizumi hajime, oikawa tooru, kuroo tetsurou, bokuto koutarou, sakusa kiyoomi, kageyama tobio

warnings swearing (i swear, they don't, they're polite boys), uhh drinking? but that's pretty obvious

recent works: what it feels like to fall in love with them

Iwaizumi Hajime

You know how he's usually the mom friend?

Pulls a one fucking eighty

Has no sense of self-preservation whatsoever

Has to be under constant surveillance or Else

Once jumped off the first floor because Hanamaki told him not to

(Kyoutani soon followed after him too, but I digress)

There's just this little troublemaker in him that comes through when he's drunk and it amuses everyone, especially Hanamaki and Matsukawa who can't wait to join him when he starts doing stupid shit

However, when the alcohol starts wearing off he gets unusually quiet

Oikawa usually calls it the stage of regret

But in all honesty he just gets tired, usually falling asleep on the nearest couch

Or chair

Or the floor

Oikawa Tooru

Walks a fine line between being the life of the party and an emotional shipwreck

Once Yahaba accidentaly said his hair looked funny and he started crying on the spot

It's like his emotions are amplified, he's either having the time of his life or sitting in a corner wailing about something that happened four years ago

But when he's in a good mood, he laughs

All the time

(And it's like the prettiest sound in the world)

Refuses to drink anything else but vodka

Especially beer

Hates it with a burning passion

Insists that it tastes like piss

Matsukawa made him try the apple and lemon flavored ones but he's too stubborn to admit they're not bad

Has the highest alcohol tolerance out of them all mostly because he's been drinking since he was like 14

(Which is really bad, I do not condone this)

Knows exactly how much he can drink and how much everyone else on the team can drink, and usually watches out for them not to get too shitfaced

When they do though, he's the one to sit by them when they puke and call an uber to get them home

Just,, too sweet

Kuroo Tetsurou

Just like Oikawa, knows how not to get shitfaced

However, enjoys getting shitfaced from time to time

Makes the best cocktails

Doesn't let Kenma drink them

Owns a guitar and god damn can he play it

Usually doesn't like when other people listen to him but get him tipsy and he will hold an entire concert

Once Lev accidentaly broke his guitar when he tackled Yaku and since then Kuroo keeps it with him like it's the holy grail

I'm not even kidding, will start barking if you look at it the wrong way

Prefers whiskey

Loves playing with other people's hair

It's either you or Kenma, whoever he lays his hands on first

Learned how to braid hair on his sister and now does it so well it's on par with like Brad Mondo or some shit

Bokuto koutarou

Shares a similarity with a kinder surprise egg in a way that there is no possible way you know what you will get

Either ecstatic or emo, no in between

For some reason really likes taking his shirt off

Gets really fidgety

Can't stand still for two fucking seconds

Randomly leaves the conversation to run around and then comes back like nothing ever happened

Easily distracted

Someone needs to be with him at all times or he will randomly wander off

"Ohh I wanna pet that hedgehog."

"Bokuto, get your ass over here."

If he ends up in the emo stage... oh boy

Cries at everything

Once got emotionally attached to Konoha's pet grasshopper

Refused to leave without it so Konoha let him borrow it for the night but when Bokuto woke up he mistook it for a stick of wood and threw it away

Sakusa Kiyoomi

This man does not drink

The taste of alcohol genuinely disgusts him

People act stupid when they drink anyway

Also he takes volleyball very seriously

Can't drink if you're planning on competing profesionally y'know

BUT

He tried a cocktail once accidentally

The waitress switched his drink when he was out with his teammates and they made him try it

Will never admit it but it wasn't that bad

Tasted like juice, really

And let me tell you, tipsy sakusa kiyoomi is the cutest thing ever

Giggles

Just giggles all the time

Has conversations with himself about volleyballll

Sits down next to you, hugs your arm and just rambles about whatever's on his mind

Usually it's his next match

One time made you sit through a passionate 15 minute description of his breakfast

Also very affectionate

Will compliment the everloving shit out of anyone in a 10 meter radius

His hangovers arent even that bad but he stays in a godawful mood the entire next day

Kageyama Tobio

Rarely drinks

Him and Tsukishima usually stand aside (in silence) and watch others do stupid shit

Has a ridiculously low alcohol tolerance

I swear this boy gets drunk on fucking liquor chocolates

The first time he got tipsy he refused to believe it

"I can get up on my own, thanks Sugawara."

*Thud*

Both fascinated and scared of the fact that he can't walk straight

Gets really judgy

You know how analytical he gets when playing volleyball?

Well now he says it all out loud and it lowkey pisses everyone off

Well everyone except Tsukki who unironically enjoys this side of him

(Tsukki even looks forward to parties with kageyama because he can gossip about anything and Kageyama is actually great listener when drunk, but Tsukki would rather eat a lego than admit it)

Can't tell different alcohol apart

You can get him to say anything (which Tanaka and Nishinoya abuse a lot)

Shows affection in... unusual ways

Will hold your hand "So it's not too heavy for you"

Will apply the same logic to your face

Like he will just cup it and look you in the eye "it's ok you can relax now"

Like not even some cute shit, he's dead serious

[kageyuji]

❝what’s on your neck?❞

also known as “the team finds the hickeys you left on him”

-> warnings; implied making out, hickeys, sexual jokes

-> includes; bokuto, kuroo, tanaka, atsumu, and iwaizumi.

a/n; gender neutral, also it’s implied just making out but the characters are aged up to third year (18 years old)! and please remember to reblog <3

BOKUTO —

bokuto honestly forgot it was there, he’d remembered the makeout session you and he had

but somehow he had completely forgotten about the mark you’d left, sigh <//3

washio is Staring he is Looking he Knows what’s going on

akaashi and konoha exchange a look before finally akaashi speaks up

“what’s on your neck?” he doesn’t know why he even asked - he knows the answer

“hm?” bokuto asked, a totally innocent and confused expression on his face before realizing what they meant

konoha lightly tapped on his own neck, showing bokuto what they meant

SHIDJFFN HE GOES 😀

he’s blushing at first, but then quickly changes his expression into a smirk

he has like 27% shame, he’s a little nervous but then again he loves you and couldn’t care any less if they see

konoha never lets him hear the end of it, but it becomes helpful whenever he and Akaashi are trying to get him out of slumps

the team also probably teases you about it, but bokuto just pouts and pulls you closer

10/10 boyfriend, anyway-

he probably lets it happen again but its literally on accident <//3

like he just. cannot remember <///3

he spends hours on his hair in the morning i don’t know how he doesn’t see it

KUROO —

kuroo knew they were they he just didn’t really think anyone would notice

kenma did, but he didn’t really care

‘kuroo getting freaky sigh idk this animal crossing lookin real sexy tho’ or smth idk what goes on in kenma’s head

he doesn’t really show off his hickeys, he just more acts like they weren’t there? and if someone sees them, someone sees them

yaku was the first one besides kenma who saw, but he didn’t really say anything

he just kind of?? stared?? and grabbed kuroo by the shirt, pulled him down, and inspected the hickey

lev was the one to actually ask, poor baby didnt realize what it was, “what’s on your neck?”

kuroo very nonchalantly says, “oh, y/n gave me a hickey last night.”

BITCH??? THEY’RE SCREAMING WHY ARE YOU SO CALM???

yamamoto is going feral, he’s yelling, he’s gone absolutely batshit

whenever you walk in yamamoto does the whistle thing, you know what i mean

yaku gives you a whole speech <//3

kenma honestly couldn’t care any less, you can go and vibe w him <3

kuroo likes to tease you about it too, not as much as yamamoto, but teasing nonetheless

it’s just sweet little jokes though, teasing you but not too much

TANAKA —

well in all honesty it wasn’t like tanaka was actually trying to hide it

he knew it was there, he wanted to show it off, he had absolutely no shame about it

he walked into volleyball practice and the first thing people noticed was that he wasn’t wearing his usual jacket

instead, he was wearing a sweater

the next thing they noticed was the mark on the side of his neck, definitely put there by you on last night’s date

“tanaka?!?!” hinata was the first to say something, worried about what had happened to his elder, “what’s on your neck?”

then he realized what it was and his face went from 🤕 to 😟

nishinoya laughs, congratulating tanaka on “finally getting some action”

hes smirking and hyping himself up, but on the inside??

he’s just a blushy smiley boi 🥰😽

if the team mentions it to you you’re like 🧍 and suddenly tanaka turns from cocky to soft, peppering light kisses on your face and trying to convince you the team saw your marks on accident

the team absolutely teases him about how quickly his disposition changed

but once you’re out of the room, he’s flexing on them again BAJDBFNCM

ATSUMU —

little shit knew it was there, was trying to act like he didn’t, and was secretly trying to show it off WSHUXHDN

osamu deadass just looks at him like 😐 when he sees the hickey

“what’s on your neck, sumu?”

“what do you mean, samu?”

“😐😐🙃”

suna looks so annoyed sigh </3

they’re both very much done with atsumu’s bullshit

some of the other members are v concerned about it though BSJDJFNF

suna loves to tease you about it, he likes to see you go 😳 or 😼

it makes atsumu 10x more flirty i’m not even gonna lie, he’s riding the high

teases you all the time, even though?? he’s the one that should be being teased?? but go off ig sir <//3

dw though suna asks him all the time if he’s gotten anymore sigh

jokingly asks you for another one after realizing it’s getting him attention and then panics when you say ok LMAOWBHSHDFM

the fans are lowkey upset about it </3

IWAIZUMI —

he half forgot it was there, like he made an effort to cover it up but at some point during the day he let it show

oikawa was the one to point it out, very dramatically gasping and pointing it out like Iwa was a plague victim or smth

kunimi and kyotani couldn’t give a shit they just wanted to be anywhere else and away from the rest of the team, who were all screaming and yelling

“awww did iwa get his dick wet?” mattsun asks

“no, we were just making out,” Iwaizumi says sternly, but no one believes him 💀

mattsun and hanamaki keep making sex jokes, oikawa occasionally joining in

oikawa is mostly asking what happened, he’s wondering what happened and wanting to know all of the details

kindaichi is just like 🧍‍♂️

if you come in?? oikawa is not shutting up about it

mattsun and hanamaki are teasing you and iwa about it, sigh 💔

iwa just holds you and pretends to (well, tries to, it doesn’t really work) ignore them

he’s much more careful about consealing his hickeys now, he never wants to have to deal with Seijoh like that again, sigh

taglist is in an rb; send an ask to be added

[uh-oh-its-bird]

Oh my god you're so smart I'm kissing your brain. I'm absoloutley hearing what ur laying down now watch me grab it by the throat and sprint into the great beyond with it

I actually fucking love the idea of Tobirama sending the ninja equivalent of a "lost dog" poster to his aunt going "girl is this thing yours??"

"Yo auntie come get your dog please it's tearing up my lawn"

Once again borrowing ideas from half forgotten fics I don't even remember the premise of anymore: let's go with the "as a really small and territorial clan, Hatake's REALLY value their young. Family is family and they're very very careful to keep a close eye on all their lines."

So when they hear that there may or may not be a missing Hatake— something virtually unheard of to them bc again, careful track of their lines, small clan who's generally seen as too "wild" to be worth the time and effort bloodline theft — hell yeah they'll send one or two people to go sniff around.

And hey, this lost little Hatake is a riot! Doesn't wanna come home with them tho :(

So they send a letter back home that basically says, "lost hatake is very cute, very insane tho (which makes him cuter) also these a baby here that bites (Itachi), having too much fun to come back, xoxo get fucked"

To which the rest of the clan, who doesn't really have much going on for them other than fucking around with wolves, goes *what the FUCK I want want to see the baby that bites why do these losers get to have all the fun*

Which then results in a slow trickle of the rest of the Hatake's coming over. And the clan is like, really small. Like honestly 20 people tops. And 3 of them are actual infants. So it's not that crazy big of a move.

I'm gonna actually go ahead and say they were already a nomadic clan, so this isn't that insane of a move for them in general (I don't think I'd buy a properly rooted clan just up and leaving their home, even for some cute, mentally deranged long lost cousin)

But like they're nomadic !!! They never really stay in one place for more than a few years anyways, and even while they have stayed in Iron for a good few generations now, we'll that just means it's time for a big change right?

"There is this fanon piece of land that's basically a neutral zone between senju and Uchiha, so like it's free real estate"

OK NOW HEAR ME OUT:

The neutral zone is that previously mentioned space just a few miles away from the teritories where Konoha is supposed to eventually go. The one team Ro is camping out in

The Hatake's are lowkey setting up shop there, free game right? The first few guys that come there to sniff around technically have Tobirama's invitation in hand so like. Senju approval bc allies and I don't really think Hashirama is gonna tell them to go away.

By the time the whole clan is setting up there fr it's. A bit too late to tell them to go away. Like the Uchiha's are eyeing these big ass wolves making eyes at the Senju like *you INVITED these guys here?? THESE guys???? All of them???? Like to LIVE here?????*

The Uchiha clan + the majority of the Senju: "Whatcha got there Tobirama?"

Tobirama, standing in front of a wild clan with a notoriously bad reputation for being insane blood thirsty animals that he technically invited over: "A smoothie"

Hashirama: "and puppies!!!!!!"

He didn't actually expect them to settle in this much. He sort of figured they'd grab Kakashi by the scruff and drag him off maybe. Or just kinda say hi then leave? He may have miscalculated.

He refuses to admit it tho he's in too deep if anyone asks this was his plan all along.

Izuna is scowling about his "dastardly" and "evil mastermind" plan to have the Hatake's cause chaos by crashing their conflicts and Tobirama is standing there like "Yes. My plan. That I definatley have. And is going well."

Meanwhile behind the scenes he's dodging the Hatake clan head, aka his aunt, who's trying to force feed him raw meat (it's good for growing boys!!!) And nag him about when he's going to get married and give her grandbabies (He is in hell.)

Slight tangent time:

Ok hear me out also tho: Hatake's can eat raw meat and it's actually a pretty important part of their diet — at least back in the warring era.

But again they lost that with them being softened by the village, Sakumo never really needed to eat it / was good at doing it in like "civilized" more acceptable ways (eat his stake a lill bloodier than normal, crack some extra raw eggs into his rice, etc.)

Then he dies and Kakashi doesn't even have context for the cravings so when he does grow up a bit and start randomly wanting to gnaw on raw steak he just sort of shakes himself and goes *what the fuck no I'd get fucking food poisoning* (he would not)

It's just random cravings !! People get those sometimes !! He's learned to ignore it

But like the warring era Hatake's trying to feed him raw meat bc to them its an important part of a Hatake's well rounded diet. They are grabbing him going "You're so skinny you need to eat! What do you MEAN you don't eat raw meat at least once a week no wonder ur a twig!! Don't worry we'll fix that!!!"

Anyways,

Does this mean that the Hatake's now get to be one of the Konoha founders? Yes because I say so. Is this fact giving all of team Ro different flavors of crisises? Also yes! Very much so!

None of them actually know if when they go back, if their actions will have changed their now present. Or if it's like an alternate timeline deal where they'll return to their own timeline but this new world they affected will have a happier future.

HOWEVER.

Im just gonna come out and say that, in this fic that I still refuse to write, it'd end with them cautiously returning home, unsure of what waits for them— only to pretty much get the ideal "happy ending" Konoha.

The Senju are still around and isn't just dwindled to Tsunade,

Orochimaru never went off the deep end and the sannin never broke up,

Danzo is a disgruntled desk guy who takes his issues out via paperwork instead of genocide,

Hashirama and Madara shared the title of first Hokage and then Izuna and Tobirama actually competed for who'd get to NOT be Hokage because neither of them wanted to touch the title (Uchiha Hikaku became second hokage because he's great and I love him)

Sakumo and Minato and everyone are still alive and many of the near extinct minor clans we see existing in the background (even if only in headcanons) including the Hatake still thrive, even if they are small.

All of that good stuff. Happy ending brighter future, etc. etc.

We get to see some of the younger faces who team Ro met who are now all old, like Kagami and some of the Hatake's they met. Maybe get an exasperated, amused line out of Sakumo about how his uncles (aka Kakashi's time travel cousins) have always been so weird about Kakashi after they run off giggling, pleased as hell after the return of *their* Kashi — same with some of the Uchiha elders.

Suddenly actually in this time line a lot of the Uchiha elders are just ??? Weirdly nice to Itachi and Shisui ????? Fugaku doesn't get it but they do a little haughty sniffle and say something about how they just know that Madara-sama would have approved of them or whatever. It's very silly and very bitter sweet bc these guys were totally calling for blood in canon but whatever we get to be silly now fuck you

And oh, awkward moment; Tenzo doesn't seem to have really uhh. Existed here? Orochimaru never went off the deep end so he never went and did fucky mokuton experiments on him. There might have been some random orphan Tenzo somewhere wandering around but it's time travel Tenzo now, let's not think about that too hard btw, just this random kid with no background, a mokuton, and an ANBU mask and Kakashi + Itachi + Shisui's sponsorship.

But this goes better than you'd expect? He didn't really have any connections to anyone besides those three anyways. He'll be fine, really. Though he is sad to have left the people behind in the warring states, especiall—

AND HERE COMES MITO AND TOBIRAMA'S HATAKE AUNTIE, WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!!! THE ONLY SURVIVING OLD PEOPLE FROM THE FOUNDER GENERATION, ABSOLOUTLEY ANCIENT, THEY SHOULD BE DEAD BUT THEY LIVE ON SPITE AND GOSSIP ALONE !!!!! THEYVE WAITED DECADES FOR THIS VERY MOMENT AND THEYRE GOING TO SQUEEZE ALL OF THESE BOYS TO DEATH BUT START WITH TENZO BECAUSE NO ADULTS HAVE CLAIM ON HIM AND THAT MAKES IT OPEN SEASON !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways.

Team Ro all gathers at the founders grave sights and do a little prayer for them, but it's not sad? They got to say their goodbyes when they came back, and this isn't so much as them mourning but them just,, saying hello again.

Like,

Hey, we made it, we see this konoha— your konoha, and it's everything we could have asked for. Thanks for the adventure, we'll make sure to keep this place safe since you kept it safe for us for so long.

And the sun rises as they lift their bowed heads, and they turn and head back into the konoha that they helped see built.

The end

Probably idk I always end up coming back to these things

There are so many naruto time travel fics out there but what I need SPECIFICALLY is an ANBU era team of Kakashi, Tenzo, Itachi, and Shisui getting flung into the founders era.

Like. Ok just looking from the political side of it that's;

A) 2 very young and VERY powerful Uchiha's (one of which is the future clan head!! Politics!!)

B) A very fucked up baby mokuton user who's still in the middle of being deprogrammed and can totally pass for Senju

C) The free wild card that is Hatake clan lore on top of having a stolen sharingan. On top of *that* him being the team leader of a team of kids who, in the time period context, should both be at eachothers throats and probably not be expected to obey the commands of someone not only from another clan but a way smaller one

Theres SO much potential there!! So many political implications in virtually ALL of the directions!!!!

Yk what as I'm typing this out I'm having ✨️ideas✨️ so let's make some story points to sort those out:

• I think itd be neat to have this happen like. A year? Ish? Before the massacre? So age wise, and full disclaimer I'm referencing Google and Wikipedia rn so I could totally be wrong, I think that's :

Kakashi (18)

Tenzo (17)

Itachi (12)

Shisui (15)

Could be wrong about the ages but honestly it's my world you're just living in it, so.

Then me going totally purely off of my own headcannons, were going to say they came in a about a year before Izuna died and place the founders ages as:

Madara (23)

Hashirama (23)

Izuna (19)

Tobirama (18)

Big fan of Tobirama being the youngest between the 4 but projecting the aura of someone as old as like. Idk, however old Madara is. Very funny to me, 10/10

• I'm personally a big fan of dogteeth kakashi so we're running with that all the way home. Also a huge fan of the "Hatake's are a distant, more feral cousin of Inuzuka clan" hc along with some sprinklings of "back in the day they had a bit of a Reputation(tm) for being a 'lill wild, and everyone generally tries to avoid them. Which isn't too much of a problem because theyre a very small out of the way clan from Iron, they just have a big reputation in contrast to their size.

In more modern times tho, along with (obviously) having dwindled down to a single depressed teenager, they've become a lot tamer over the years due to village life. Kakashi is a Hatake, 100%, but he is NOT up to the standards of this time. Which becomes a bit funny when people see him, go "oh FUCK it's a Hatake" and then start edging slowly towards the door like he's about to rip their throat out with his teeth. Meanwhile he's standing there like 🧍‍♂️"am I that ugly."

Give me a scene where, finally used to this reaction to him from the general shinobi population, the team starts to use it to their advantage.

"Give us the scroll or we'll let the Hatake off the leash to have his fun with you. He's been awfully hungry latley you know, hasn't had fresh meat in days"

Kakashi, feeling kind of stupid, gave his best growl.

It caused an almost immediate, embaressed flush to rise to his face, but he didn't let up. It sounded more like an almost pathetic puppy growl than anything to his ears, but apparently it was enough to convince the trembling enemy nin because he slowly lifted the scroll up in offering.

Wow. Now he couldn't tell if he was embaressed for himself or for this guy.

Probably both to be honest.

• So like. Itachi is the clan heir. That's big. That's important. Let's do something with that.

First off, I had a great time reading this one fic (tho I don't even remember what the fic itself was about now, oops) where a plot point of it was how Sasuke is just a walking stereotype of main house Uchiha. Like people look at him and they don't just go "oh that's an Uchiha." They go "oh fuck that's an UCHIHA Uchiha." He's so fucking painfully, obviously related to the very tippy top of the clan that anyone not blind can tell. It's in the way he looks, it's in the way he talks and treats those around him, it's in the way he fucking holds himself. You look at him and every other stereotype about the Uchiha clan is there in big, bold letters. (On top of that he's also a dead wringer for Izuna, which I'm such a sucker for and desperatley wish people would do more with)

So like let's give that to Itachi here because it's so fun for several reasons.

First off; Sasuke in this is like. Straight up a doppelganger of Izuna, just a few generations apart. They could be twins. Itachi, as I'm sure you are aware, is Sasuke's big brother. So let's take some liberties and say that Itachi could absoloutley pass as a blood sibling to Izuna and Madara.

He is however 12, so we're also going to say that the only people who get to make this connection is anyone who's seen the siblings when they were also at a similar age.

On top of that however he has the 'walking amalgamation of all the stereotypes of the main Uchiha house' so anyone who isn't blind will look at him and assume he's somewhere in the sphere of 'important main house person' tho who really knows how distant the relation may be exactly. No one !! That's who !!!

Second; He's the fucking clan heir!! What the fuck!! This bit would have the most impact after all the messy time travel reveals when things have settled down a bit, so it'll sit in the back pocket for a bit. Save it for some fun shaking up later down the line so we don't run out of all the fun reveals too fast and bore the readers, yk?

When it is brought up tho it'd be fun to maybe have some fucky Itachi and Madara mutual understandings of the way things work.

• So. Madara is like a bit of a scary bed time story to Uchiha children, right? Like. "Ooo make sure you don't get too obsessive or fall too deep into your grief and always stay loyal to the village or you'll end up just like Madara!!"

Something something Uchiha-Village relationships are tense as hell, something something Madara fucking over a lot of the clan with his whole. Everything., Something something scapegoat and old stories, something something 'people have probably been talking a lot more about how "god dammit this all started with Madara" in recent years.'

Now with that in mind let's take a look of what our time travelers think of Madara:

Itachi is a good Konoha soldier. Itachi (as has been very much fucking proven) would rather beat a possible problem before it even exists with a hammer till it dies an ugly bloody death than even RISK it blossoming into a proper problem. Itachi does not like Madara. Itachi personally, quietly thinks they should maybe wait till the village is formed then carefully arrange a little accident for him before he goes off the rails. He, even more quietly, maybe even thinks it would be a kindness. Allow him to be remembered well by the village instead of scorned.

Shisui I think is cautiously optimistic about him. He's the kind of guy who gives the benefit of the doubt, who weighs the options, risk and reward, but includes things like hope and compassion in his calculations. Yes, Madara was a uhh. Thing. That happened. But in every story his big blow up always come from one specific event; Izuna's death. So if they stop that from happening, wouldn't it secure both a better future for them and Madara? The history books never went into detail about Izuna, he doesn't know what he's like, but maybe his involvement in the future, on Konoha's side, could lead to even more profits for them long term. At the end of the day he's not against killing Madara (though to be clear, they are at first operating on trying to avoid all interactions with historical events and return home without touching things) but it'd be nice, to manage to get a happy ending for everyone. Unrealistic maybe, but nice.

Mmmm hear me out actually, maybe Shisui, after interacting with him a bit, finds that Madara reminds him of Itachi too. They definatley both have that "I would do unspeakable things to even dream of my loved just one more time" energy, if you know what I mean

Anyways; Kakashi and Tenzo are both neutral on Madara. Yes, they learned about how he betrayed the village when young just like everyone else, but they weren't getting the bed time stories and "do this and you'll end up just like him" warnings like the Uchiha's. They're possibly leaning into negative but are detached from the situation enough to just go "well he hasn't done it yet and his brother is still alive so he won't any time soon" and be done with it

• Now, on the the total opposite side of the spectrum you have Hashirama and Tobirama. People are brought up in Konoha to fucking IDOLIZE these guys. You can not tell me our team of time travelers wouldn't be at least a little awed to speak with them.

I think Tenzo would be the most wide eyed about Hashirama, both for the baseline "holy shit that's the Shodai Hokage" and also that fun juicy mokuton user imposter syndrome he has going on for him. That guys DNA is inside his body!!! Holy shit wait does that mean if someone did a blood relation test with them he might read as being related to him?? Fuck were gonna pocket that for now but like. Mmmmm potential.

I'd say Itachi is the most hesitant about Tobirama but again, village loyalist, so.

You know what tho maybe Shisui is the most hesitant about him (though still largely positive) he both def grew up looking up to him but can also see the anti-Uchiha policies people inact now with the implications that Tobirama would have approved of it. He doesn't know if he would, but like, he has to wonder.

Kakashi is probably the most normal about them (and also has experience in being close to a hokage (Minato) to know that at the end of the day they are painfully human) Don't get me wrong, he's still in some sort of awe! He might get a little lightheaded at the thought of seeing the God of Shinobi in proper battle, or the possibility to see the famed genius of Tobirama with all the different jutsu's he's invented. You can't tell me Kakashi didn't spend a little extra time reading about him when he was trying to make Chidori. Honestly I'm gonna roll with that and say he had a bit of a phase as a kid where he was a total fan boy. Maybe sprinkle in the good old HalfHatake!Tobirama hc to add some faint daydreams a lonley babykashi had after his father's death, about getting to meet him as family. Like cmon, little genius idolizing and projecting on some big history figure only to find out they're actually related? Can you say potential?

Anyways he did eventually grow out of the phase, probably got unattached to it all and lost interest after the whole "losing everything he loved" bit of his life. And at the end of the day, he doesn't have any real complex personal hang ups on the founders like the others do. Thus, most normal.

• And then my favorite most special boy, Izuna !! He's for sure the one they're all most neutral about. He's not actually taught about in the academy? There's probably some throw away line about him in some history books somewhere, but he died young and was quickly buried by the looming shadow of Konoha. The only real knowledge had about him in modern times is just a vague "Yeah he got killed by Tobirama which lead to peace being made but also lead to Madara losing his shit"

Poor Izuna he's the linchpin for it all but was left an unremarkable footnote of history. My boy deserves so much better

Tenzo doesn't actually even know who he is, that boy got bare minimum education under Danzo and Izuna was NOT included.

Itachi and Shisui mmmaybe have some small little fun fact here or there buried in stories from the older members of the clans but like. It's gonna amount to just "yeah he had a great katon" and thats about it.

I WILL SAY HOWEVER. Itachi sees him and instantly is that one PTSD dog meme. Sasuke is a BABY but holy shit Izuna looks exactly like he'd expect him to grow up as and it's making him FEEL THINGS. Also he's so bratty little brother coded !! He's an entire 7 years older than Itachi but Ifachi keeps fucking up and trying to big brother him it's embaressing.

And ofc Itachi didn't go into the first meeting thinking he'd see some weird older mirror version of his beloved baby brother who he misses and worries about very very much. So like. There's for sure going to be some conflict there. If their first meeting is a scuffle (which it probably will be) I think Itachi would keep hesitating to attack. On full run away mode. Which is probably for the best bc he shouldn't try to fight Izuna anyways honey he's like double your bodyweight and you're strong but you aren't THAT strong.

• Pointing back at both the 'Itachi does not like Madara and has quiet thoughts about how it'd possibly be in everyone's interest to just kill him' and the 'Itachi and Madara quietly bond over being clain head/heir during stressful times (w pressure from the elders especially)

I can see 2 outcomes of a potential bonding conversation with them:

1) They come to understand eachother better.

Madara wants to be on good terms, he looks at this kid and sees one of his brothers eyes and the others quiet determination. He can tell Itachi doesn't like him for some reason, and it's frustrating because he doesn't know why. He wants him to like him. He wants to be able to offer his hand and have it taken. It hurts, to be looked at with such suspicion from a face that has traces of Izuna's.

Meanwhile Itachi . . . Itachi looks at Madara and he sees someone who gets it. Gets it like no one ever has. It scares him. He looks up at this man, this horror story he's been told to fear becoming, and he sees himself. And this realization shakes him. It makes him think, makes him wonder. He's so, so sure of his loyalty to Konoha. More sure than he is of anything else in the world. But . . . But if something happened to Sasuke, if he had to choose—

And maybe it softens something in him too, along with the (honestly healthy) dose of fear. It forms a little crack in his shell, just enough to maybe, maybe let Madara through. Just a hair.

Or 2) we pull one of those "The conversation ends with them agreeing verbally but mentally they're on 2 VERY different notes."

Madara, nodding and looking at Itachi meaningfully: "Yeah it can be hard, but all we can really do is try to make the world a safer place for the ones we love. (To create Konoha, to keep my clan safe. Izuna safe. And now to keep you safe too.)

Itachi, nodding slowly: "Yeah. No matter how hard it is (even though I think I understand you more than anyone else Ive ever met) we have to try to make the world a safer place (by killing you in your sleep once Konoha is formed) for the ones we love (My clan. My village. Sasuke.)"

• Also pointing back at the 'Hatake warring clan era reputation,' the 'Tobirama is half Hatake' and also now pointing at Tobirama's title as the White Demon. Small thing but it'd be neat if there was some small throw away line that the nickname lowkey started in part because of the absoloutley terrifying reputation of the Hatake combined with Tobirama's own Everything(tm) like it just had some influence on how some view him. Give me Uchiha's making dog jokes ab him it'll be funny

• Ok but now the actual plot thoughts. Yeah I know I kept you waiting sorry about that.

So time travel! Probably due to a mission gone wrong. Some ruins or some ancient crumbling scroll that wasn't even supposed to do fucking time travel but was so old and corroded that it somehow managed to transform into a whole other seal by pure bad luck. Or good luck I guess, considering it could have just turned into a nuke.

Our favorite team of disasters are very very alarmed !!! What the fuck !!! Obviously they don't default to thinking time travel, but they immediatley know something is wrong. The landscape has changed, though the big landmarks are still there. The mission was complete anyways with no injuries so they just retreat to Konoha. Only oops !! It's not fucking there!!!

Queue alarm.

Shisui is the first one to suggest time travel because he's quirky like that. And there's a very easy way to confirm this theory.

(Also we're going to say that Konoha's location is a valley a few miles out from the Naka River that borders the Senju / Uchiha territories.)

This is convenient because that verification method involves checking in on where Itachi and Shisui know the old Uchiha compound should rest.

They do it in full stealth mode, the second they saw Konoha was missing Kakashi as team leader decided they'd treat the land as enemy territory. They all agreed ofc, for all they knew this WAS enemy territory now.

And, ofc, yeah!! There's the old Uchiha compound!! Being active!!! There are people there!!!

"What are the odds Fugaku-sama decided to have the clan return to their homeland for ahh, cultural enrichment?" Kakashi asked weakly.

"Time travel." Was the only reply he got from Shisui, whispered reverently as the boy vibrated with excitement on the branch.

Itachi just gave him a look, radiating a level of dissaproving disbelief that no normal 12 year old should be able to make. Kakashi would know, he was that not-normal 12 year old once.

From there they decide a no interference policy. Hands off guys!! They probably debate it tho, like, a good amount. They all have ✨️opinions✨️ except maybe Tenzo who's lowkey still in the middle of trying to learn how to be a person and is following Kakashi's lead 99% of the time. Especially since they're still in mission mode and this is like a super serious discussion and he really does know the least ab the founders overall.

They probably debate the merits of going to Uzushiogakure bc seal help but it's really far and they don't actually have like, just any leverage with them. They already decided not to fuck with the future so it isn't like they can trade secrets and warnings. At least if shit happens here they have some plausible deniability, being, yk, 2 uchiha's and a senju-passing guy with Mokuton. Kakashi's kinda fucked tho in that regard but he isn't going to be doing the party ANY favors with his clan heritage.

Which means it's time to potentially get desperate enough to interact with Tobirama !!! Which will inevitably lead to them bumping into a Uchiha patrol or something!!! I don't know honestly

• Anyways want Hashirama and Tenzo to interact. He has so many issues like holy shit. Let Hashirama give him the hug he deserves. I want him to violently adopt him. New brother acquired!!!

I said before but Tenzo is still reprogramming from ROOT. Let Hashirama impact that! Let him help! They can make flower crowns and photosynthesize together idk

Hashirama would be so happy to have another mokuton user, I think they should be able to sense eachother extra strong and like 'ping' off of eachothers chakra, it'll be fun

▪︎ I'm not thinking toooo hard about power scaling and this is fanfiction so a) don't quote me on this and b) for the love of all that is holy don't take my words as gospel

But for this fic specifically I'm ranking the founders and Team Ro, weakest to strongest (in a clean, fair fight head on w no time to prepare) :

Itachi (he's fucking 12 guys. But also he is like. FRACTIONS under Tenzo and Shisui. If he were 13 I'd let him be above or at the same level but like. He's 12. Cmon.)

Tenzo - Shisui (they're like JUST under the next 2 tho like seconds behind)

Izuna - Tobirama

Kakashi ( by the skin of his fucking teeth and the advantage that is his stupid amount of jutsu's and lack of self preservation)

Madara - Hashirama

And again that's not counting like. The specific situations, time given to prepare, potential dirty tricks they could play (I think the Konoha tricks would play a fraction dirtier than the others, who are slightly more used to big open battles vs the ANBU squad who does all sorts of shit in all sorts of places) plus like. Mental state and team ups.

Tenzo or Shisui couldn't take down Izuna or Tobirama but if they teamed up I'd allow it. Kakashi would get his ass kicked by Hashirama or Madara but he could survive a minutes longer than the others would

Itachi is doing his best

But like

He's 12 guys

I love him and he is terrifyingly competent but he won't win 1 on 1 with anyone unless he has some sort of advantage. Minus Shisui and Tenzo who he does have the advantage of regularly fighting, so.

• I think they do get to go back home in the end. It takes a ton of work tho and they probably do need to get Mito's help with it, Kakashi can show them the seal they got brought here with but it's an ACTUAL one in a trillion miracle it didn't fucking atomize them. So it needs a lot of touch ups

Anyways !!!

I have a little more rattling around in my brain but I'm really tired and also starting to think about other things now so I'm gonna stop here. Might come back and add to it later so stay tuned if you're into that

Full disclaimer I'm not gonna write this. I don't have the proper energy and it'd probably end up being too ambitious of a project if I tried. I'd love to see it happen tho, so like !! Big open invitation to absoloutley anyone who might want to take even a fraction of the ideas I've listed.

@ me if you do tho I wanna see the final product