#thanks for the 🐍

[whitesnakewine]

im scared of the wider fandom so i came here to bother you instead, because you have the most based takes

ok so. i feel like as a kid, orochimaru had a weird crush on hiruzen. exact same vibe as kid kabu's crush on oro. they admired and resented him, because he was everything they wanted to be (the hokage, master of almost all ninjutsu), but he was also holding them back. not letting them fulfill their true potential. to them, he was a wall they could never climb over, a constant one-sided struggle to overcome their sensei.

of course, all of that culminated in them killing him. they clearly take immense joy in the act, even pleasure. it distinctly mirrors kabuto after sasuke killed orochimaru; this sort of manic desire for something to struggle against. some kind of authority holding them back, someone for them to really sink their teeth into. as a child, they attached themself to him because they had no one else. and he indulged that bond, showing them just enough kindness, just enough love to keep them dependent, but never enough to make them feel like they were worth it. hiruzen saw orochimaru as both his child, and a dangerous parasite. orochimaru saw hiruzen as both their dad, and their prison warden.

do u fuck w/ the kabuto parallels or am i getting too freudian. lmao. anyways thats all uhh sorry for bothering u, love ur posts, keep up the good work o7

my take isnt even that good compared to most of my priv moots, im just an average viet with 3/5 reading comprehension🧍

its just really fucking weird out there with all the anti-intellectual kids online

i honestly only post slightly lukewarm orokabu take for 5 followers, two of them russians and one of them chinese, they dont even speak english, ik im cooking when they liked my posts

ALSO Yes please do bother me about more oro and kabuto's hcs I'm desperate to talk more about them than skimming fat of their *gesturing at all of them*

I fully agree with you about Oro's admiration toward Hiruzen is similar to Kabu's admiration toward Oro. Hiruzen was a fascinating case of good teacher but shit parent, he raises Oro and pay special attention to Oro but as a teacher, not a guardian or parent. Despite knowing Oro's wanted a parental figure/ someone to guide them and accept them. Hiruzen doesn't just treat Oro as his own kid, he treats the entire village as his own kids.

And for a kid, this sort of special attention could get into their head. It's easy for Oro to think maybe, Hiruzen love them or adore them or possibly even cherish them. But Hiruzen doesn't act like their parents so this must be something else. And they'd ponder over what sort of love is that. What does it all mean? what are they to Hiruzen? what can they be to Hiruzen? what can they do for Hiruzen?

I think the exact moment Oro become Jonin was when Hiruzen stop giving a shit about them. Because to Hiruzen, he did his part of "watching over the village's kids", Oro isn't a child anymore and there's the entire village to raise.

And it's so tragic because to Oro, they had thought there's something special between them and their teacher (that they barely figure out). While Hiruzen only remember Oro as they were (when they were a child)

I always think back to the flashback during Oro vs Hiruzen's fight, its interesting how Hiruzen doesn't remember Oro as a Sannin, THE legendary sannin, this shouldve been their greatest achievements as one of Konoha hero. But Hiruzen recalled Oro as the child he failed to raise as his own.

This led to my next point, the reason why i think Oro resent Hiruzen to the point of killing him. When Oro become Jonin was also the exact moment Danzo closing in like a bloodhound.

I think Oro only works with Danzo with the expectation that Hiruzen would notice them again, like how kids turn rebel in hope their parents will finally look at them. And Danzo is Danzo, he would immediately catch on what fragile adoration Oro have with their teacher and think of way to use it.

By the time Hiruzen did notice Oro again, Oro doesn't care anymore. They've been digging their grave for years in hope that anyone would notice them, while Danzo completely isolated them. What Oro behind for Hiruzen when they flee the village was something cold and full of hatred.

And personally, I think when Oro found Kabuto. They spoiled him rotten, drown him in attention and praises and teach him everything under the sun, he's getting everything that Hiruzen withhold from Oro.

And it made things complicated because Kabuto did have a mother who dotes on him and teaches him and love him and Oro isn't quite right. Kabuto doesn't think of Oro as his parents. But he still craves parental acknowledgement from Oro ( l really don't know what up with him/♡ affectionate)

Kabuto doesn't know what to make of it. And it all loop back into another cycle in this case the role is reversed for Oro. In this case, it's Kabuto going What does it all mean? what is he to Oro? what can he be to Oro? what can he do for Oro?

also i absolutely do fw Freudian/Oedipus orokabu its like a point i tried to make in a fic im working on. I really want more fics about them from this angle.

[epsilonhybrid]

woe!!!!1 threadlings be upon ye !!!!!!!!!!!

blazar-8 belongs to @hi-crawler !!!

[rocketqueen1989x]

look at the size of his MIDDLE FINGER

[baambastic]

Since @im-not-buying-it-ether tagged me for WIP Wednesday:

The rules: Post an excerpt from your most recent WIP and then tag a bunch of people. Enjoy this snippet of “Stray Little Tiger”.

She wouldn’t have noticed him behind her until he spoke, if not for his less-experienced tagalong’s not-quite-silent landing.

“Selina.”

This was the last thing she needed right now. She needed to get back home, and James would kill her if she got him caught out. Plastering on a smile, she lazily turned to greet the new arrivals. “Batman,” she drawled, “you know it’s ‘Catwoman’ when we’re on the clock.”

Bruce stood a dozen or so feet away, as stone-faced as ever. Robin stood just behind and to the side of him, chest puffed out in what he probably thought was an intimidating pose. It mostly just came off as adorable.

“What are you doing here, Catwoman?” Bruce Bat-growled.

Best to get through this as quickly as she could, then. She sauntered closer to the duo. “I’m frolicking, Batman. You really should try it sometime.” She slid a hand down Bruce’s armored chest. His stoic lack of response was a good sign.

Selina pointedly glanced at Robin, who looked mildly nauseous. “You know, Bat,” she stage-whispered, “if you ditched the half-pint, I’m sure you and I could have some fun frolicking.”

“Hey!” Robin cried indignantly. Good.

Selina very obviously let her hand trail farther down. On cue, Bruce grabbed her wrist and held it away from him. “What are you up to.” Spoken like a demand rather than a question. Also a good sign.

Time for the misdirect. Selina sighed dramatically. “Nothing, I suppose, now that you’re here and being oh-so-very cold. No sense in chasing my prey while being chased myself.”

“Aw, you won’t get to steal anything valuable tonight?” Robin cut in mockingly. “That’s so sad.”

“Robin,” Batman intoned warningly.

“That’s rich, coming from someone with no appreciation for fine art,” Selina bit back, pretending to rise to the kid’s bait. “You couldn’t tell a Vermeer from a kindergartner’s macaroni art.”

Robin eloquently rebutted her with an inarticulate noise of rage. He moved as though to leap at Selina, but Bruce held him back with his free hand before he could. “Keep yourself under control, Robin.”

With a huff, Robin seemed to settle down. He very pointedly turned and marched away, leaving Selina and Bruce alone.

Selina smirked. “Well, Bat, he’s not as far away as I’d like, but if you’re game…”

As expected, Bruce pulled away. “Not the time, Cat.”

Selina let out a world-weary sigh. “Fine, I suppose I can wait a day or so. Even for a non-gentleman like you.” Misdirect achieved.

The eyes of Bruce’s cowl narrowed, and he released her wrist. “Hrn. We’ll be watching you.” Turning, he called to his protégé. “Robin! We’re leaving.”

Robin came stomping back over, clearly unhappy. “C’mon, boss, we’re not even taking her in? She’s totally up to no good!”

Selina raised her hand to her chest in mock-offense. “But I haven’t even done anything yet!” She grinned. “Good luck getting me convicted when I haven’t committed a crime, brat.”

@stupid-boy-here @coolbeesbro @lena-thinks-too-much @suspiciousbluejay

[extraaa-30]

wait did we (the good omens fandom) crowley ourselves???

Us: imagines canon confirmation for aziracrow so hard for years, endlessly bullies neil gaiman on tumblr dot com, begs and pleads and manifests

Neil: fine. un-baits your queers

bonus:

every time #good omens trends for no reason

[minevn]

hai! hope ur doing guud! what would u rank the characters best to worst to date? tyyyyy

BEST

Aki- To nobodies surprise, it's Aki! She’s not a yandere and she’s your childhood friend, she knows SO much about you already and cherishes every single moment she’s spent and will spend with you. Overall, she’s just a healthy relationship, platonic and romantic!

Minato- Also not a yandere, and although he still holds some of his protectiveness from when he was, it’s toned down so much and really all its ever stemmed from was just wanting you to be safe, to not lose you like he did his mom.

Haruto- I mean, he’s another childhood friend and if you got with him you’d be set for life. He cherishes you and worships you, he would do almost anything you ask him to do(other than kill his brother…or to leave you alone LOL) but he knows just as much if not more about you then Aki does.

Jun- I mean, she’s a yandere but she wouldn’t kidnap you, she genuinely cares about you and your happiness and lot. I feel like Jun would be fixable as a yandere too, like I could see Jun genuinely wanting to get better and be a good person. She has that other Haruto, but as she is now, there's just other things that Haruto has over her, but I'd say they're tied.

Hoshi- TWO WORDS! LOVER! BOY! Hoshi fucking sucks in the beginning, easily the worst, and it’s not like it just goes away either, Hoshi still pranks you and is rough with you. BUT!! He communicates with you, he really cares about you(even if the way he shows it isn’t the best), he takes care of you(cooking is his specialty but he can do it all(almost)), he lets you know that you are loved, that HE loves you. That’s where he surpasses Habiki AND Kage. And over time he def softens up, he tries to get over his trauma of being cheated on, and TRUSTS you, LOVES you. (I’m…a Hoshi person…😒SIGH)

Habiki- okay, technically Habiki is NICER to you than Hoshi(he still SUCKS though. I will say that Hoshi has a “reason”(not a good one or an excuse, but still a reason)and Habiki is just…kinda crappy) but I feel like there’d always be some kind of disconnect in a relationship with Habiki. Habiki isn’t a very expressive person and it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking cause of that, and it wouldn’t be so bad if they communicated, but they don’t do that either. And although Habiki loves you a lot and has let you into his life and heart, he still struggles to tell you how he feels about you.

Kage- god, I love Kage so much, and he’s def gotten better, but like, he's also very closed off and communicating would be such a big problem in your relationship. I will say, at least he treats you kindly all the time though, he’s got that over Hoshi and Habiki. It just really would not be healthy for either you or him to get in a relationship. Besides Kage would kidnap you, probably wouldn't even feed you well(have fun eating ramen noodles and drinking energy drinks for the rest of your life), and he stalks you the third most out of the cast.

Yani- On one note, they're loyal towards you asf(and not violent to you at all(on purpose) like Kei is, not that Kei is super violent towards you if you're good) on the other, they don't have the best understanding of personal space, has committed mass murder for you, kidnaps you, stalks you. They're a sweetheart deep down and love you loads, but not a good healthy relationship partner. There would be no boundaries and you'd be isolated from everyone. Yani would literally keep you in her house forever, and its a rinky dink, run down, dingy shack with tons of mold and insects.

Kei- just…no…you’d basically have to have complete submission and be a doll for him, and although he really REALLY does love you, it’s in such an unhealthy way. You wouldn’t think of him as the worst to date considering he is the most “perfect” boyfriend, but once again the moment you even talk to another person, it’s over for that person and you’ve lost privileges to go outside.

WORST

[baby-xemnas]

dead strawhat! booo dead strawhat!! 😂

he is so damn MEAN. she already wasnt hiding that she cares about luffy A LOT you didnt have to test her 😭😭

[01131974]

dale and lee's first time together? would he be nice and gentle? it's probably....maybe her first time ever? or at least in a long time.

i think he cares enough about lee to be "nice" but who knows >:)

Their first time vexes me because there's just sooo many ways it could go, how it would play out...

It would absolutely be Lee's first time. She's probably never even seen a penis in real life (though she is an FBI agent, maybe the only she's ever seen are dead ones). Dale's is sure to be a shock to her, for a multitude of reasons.

The color, the size, the fucking piercings! It would make it look all the more grotesque. A lilac colored head covered with the foreskin pulled back to reveal a magic cross. The frenum ladder down the thick heavy shaft. The way it throbs and drips out pre is borderline hypnotic. Lee wouldn't be able to look away. That thing was going to go inside her? She could barely fathom how. The thought of it stretching her out made her stomach, and lower down, feel hot and funny. With their height difference, standing up and facing each other makes it poke her in the tummy. Feeling it throb against her makes a shiver run up Lee's spine, and she can't tell whether or not it's from fear... or something else.

Dale would sob at the mere sight of her naked body. Her white tits, her soft little belly, and the cutest cunt he's ever laid his eyes on. The small tuft of hair above it was like a little cherry on top. He couldn't wait to huff it while he made her dance on his tongue. To tear it apart and ruin it with his too-big fugly cock...

It's not in Dale's nature to be gentle. He would have to fight himself so much, holding back everything in his body to stop himself from ravaging her. He needed to be gentle. He didn't wanna scare her, at least not too much. He wanted her to enjoy this, too. So he will be a little angel and treat her with care. As much care as he can muster. As much until he finally snaps and takes her and fully makes Lee his girl. Not his fault though. Once Lee starts making those adorable little noises, starts arching her hips to meet his and take him in deeper, how is Dale supposed to control himself?

[gomzdrawfr]

Oh next Lunar year is the Snake???

Owlie is also a Snake!!!! Hello fellow snek!!!!

Yay ssssssssssssssssssssnek buddies!!!

[lookin-reproachfully]

the Hypocrisy of Gramore is that she makes a big deal about her Rule but that’s not how it even works with a lot of predators

There are traps, venoms, patience, ambushes, and more strategies predators use to catch prey

Even chase-based hunters don’t always run down prey fully, they decide based on what lets them profit the most for their effort

To have a Right is not an invitation to Exercise it at every chance you get, Unless you’re telling us that you simply can’t help yourself and that whenever someone runs, you just have to chase them down, I mean they were asking for it, right?

If you’re gonna be a completely fair arbiter of the Hunt, you better grind Nif into paste the next time she runs to run away from a biting chill

What next? Are you gonna prioritize hunting down Eursolon when the two spirits that killed your mate is right there chasing after him? Where do you draw the line? What, do you gnash your apprentice whenever she plays tag or something? Is she even allowed to play rough?

I’m pretty sure you’re just using your Rule as an excuse as part of the conspiracy, but how convenient, right? That the very Truth you choose to cultivate lets you say “Can’t be helped, their fault completely, I was perfectly reasonable…”

Out of all the animals in the world, I’m pretty sure only the human performs Victim Blaming. Other animals just deem it misfortune and move on to continue surviving

[kankuroplease]

milestone request: OroTora?

If there is one thing Kawarama’s daughters are going to do; it’s have unique pets that they’ll randomly introduce their lovers to ✨

[epickiya722]

Me: *not even more than about hour ago* I would like to see Inumaki again.

262 part 2 happens!

[cod-dump]

I too have a Shadow Company oc in my cast! He goes by the callsign 'Rattlesnake' and he deflected to 141 after the events of Las Almas. This guy is the sweetest person ever, and his special interest is snakes (he actually got his callsign after one of the Shadows saw a snake bite scar on his wrist, which he got from attempting to mess with a Western Diamondback when he was like 4).

I was wondering how him and Moose would get along! I absolutely love your work!

(Sorry if the summary is a bit messy I am incredibly tired)

-🐍

They probably would’ve gotten along before he left for 141! Moose gets along with his fellow pretty well and does aim to befriend the Shadows that he works with the most. Rattlesnake would’ve definitely been a good friend before everything that happened in Las Almas.

[rocketqueen1989x]

The love I have for this man will never go away

[laugtherhyena]

You know what? Fuck it, have these Nagisa headcanon doodles i made ages back while rambling to my friend (Hi buddyyyyyy)

[mrstsung]

If you need me I'll be daydreaming about THE PROPER SHANG TSUNG. (Again mk12/mk1 shang would have been better and i would like him more if people weren't gross and weird about him. But i NEED tagawa shang back and need to write more for him specifically because im just sad,im sad how we could have had something but fans and corporate had to ruin it. As per usual.😔🙃)