#((but... cathartic angst..?))

[giddlygoat]

based on this au i made. don’t worry, i’m sure they’ll work it out

[jesuistrestriste]

codependent!art donaldson who’s scared to make you mad.

he’s actually afraid of making you feel any sort of negative emotion at all, actually. and it’s not the kind of ‘afraid’ that he can laugh off.

no, no, no; it’s the kind that motivates him to shrink himself down into something more digestible for you. something that you can chew up and spit out and discard repeatedly, over and over again—like gum. it’s a sickening cycle that he enables, even if he won’t admit it.

he lets you suck the flavor and enjoyment out of his life in favor of making you happy. he’ll always make himself smaller for you if it makes you feel powerful and in-control.

so when you yell at him after he’s done nothing but try to make you feel worshipped all night in front of your friends, he can’t help the tears that well in his eyes. his entire expression crumples.

he whimpers and paws at your hips, big drops of sadness rolling down his flushed cheeks as he sniffles, and then pushes his hips into yours.

“i’m sorry,” he breathes out, his voice breaking, “i’m sorry, baby, i’m so sorry… please…”

when you don’t budge, he steps back with a sense of frantic urgency and begins stripping off his clothes. his shirt falls down to the bedroom floor, then his sneakers are kicked off, and then his pants. he’s tenting achingly in his boxers with the need to make everything better.

art reaches out again, but for your wrist this time. his thumb brushes your soft skin. he hiccups wetly. he slides his touch to rest over the back of your hand, and then directs it down to press against his pelvis. his fingers curl over the backs of yours, silently encouraging you to grope at him.

he’s taller than you, but you can feel the way he’s mentally curling into himself. it’s pathetic and it’s sad and it’s doing nothing but making you feel guilty. you don’t want to have sex with him, you want to shut him out.

“touch me,” he gasps, his clothed boner pressing into your palm desperately as he steps closer, “please, touch me… use me.. you can fuck me however you want.. i need—i love you..”

he buries his face into your neck, his arms both moving to wrap around the back of you, before his strong legs go shaky and he’s slowly sliding down onto one knee. and then the other goes. he cries into your frame, his cock bobbing and leaking in his briefs.

it takes another minute or two of your continued silent treatment for him to look up from his seat on the floor, fingertips digging into the meat of your thighs. his eyes meet your own; all wet lashes and puffiness over his lids.

“please don’t leave me.”

[virgothozul]

Late night sketches ! The two of them again, bc it’s cj craving o’clock.

[bloomfish]

It's so weird that in angel s5e2 they do a little flashback to Spike's blaze of glory moment in the last episode of Buffy... but they leave out Buffy saying "I love you". It's such a blatant omission, the ONLY omission from that scene, that it feels totally deliberate and kind of dishonest. Considering a lot of the Spike and Angel moments in S5 revolve around their jealousy and rivalry towards each other, and a LOT of that is to do with Buffy like... Why would you leave it out? It's a pretty big moment for Spike's character in general.

As far as I recall they don't even mention it, they just mention the fact that Spike and Buffy have had a lot of sex compared to bangel's ONE disastrous time (that they remember) but it does kind of cheapen it for Spike. A big motivation for him not leaving LA could have been him not wanting to hold Buffy to her words, since he clearly doesn't believe that she loves him (even though she does, as per Whedon). He presumably thinks she only said that to make him feel better in his final moments, because she wouldn't have to actually follow through on her words. Which is sad. But it makes much more sense as a motivation than the weird 'it cheapens my moment of glory' excuse like since when does spike give a shit about that

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Do you think if the trolls all came back, like everything in the main comic did happen and they were alive again. Do you think Feferi would actually forgive Eridan? Or want to even be his friend after everything? I don't personally like the erisol and fefertasprite interaction…felt rushed…..so I just wanted to know your opinion if things were different! :)

Yeah, I think they would be! Feferi is one of the trolls who takes dying the least badly (relentless optimism) and Eridan does genuinely feel bad, which means a lot when it's Eridan. I think she really is genuine when she says she wants them to be friends and also that she's really not the type of person to hold a grudge, and like... death is SUPER cheap in Homestuck, it's really not the horrific, irredeemable, irreperable damage that it is IRL - and if you're talking about (Feferi) and (Eridan), then they're both dead (and irrelevent) now, so the score is kind of even.

In general, the fandom - I mean, people in general, really - tend to have difficulty divorcing themselves from other people. We tend to assume that the people and characters they like will hold similar opinions to themselves. This is how people who like Karkat and don't like Eridan can mentally gloss over or even block out their clear, close friendship, or how people who dislike Cronus can end up overlooking that Meenah actually takes his opinion seriously and unironically defends his wizard thing. Feferi really isn't mad at Eridan or upset about dying the way we probably would be, because she's friends with the horrorterrors, relentlessly cheerful, comfortable with death in general, and death is also just not really that big of a deal in this setting. "I'm really sorry about that, that was shitty of me" is honestly probably all the apology she needs, especially if they came back to life anyway.

[firebird378]

Spoilers for At the End of Extinction by @keithsangstyass !!

More doodles because yes

[shootingstarpilot]

okay listen. listen. i'm sorry, i had to get this out of my head, it's been haunting me and i want to get back to working on the next proper chapter-

the mimic lives au.

mimic is brought into the fold without question, of course. and needle- oh, needle's borne witness to the nightmares that force helix awake, shaking-not-screaming, and he knows enough-

so he makes mimic a voice.

it takes him just over a week to record the entire gbs dictionary. he breaks it down, keeps it alphabetical so it's easier to find the words. dictionaries of other languages are on the list. needle thinks maybe mimic can pick and choose which ones to prioritize later. they'll have time.

(they'll have time, isn't that a novel thought-)

but the dictionary is only part of it. there are plenty of manufactured voices out there already, after all.

the datapad becomes needle's newest conversational partner. he sets it up when he's on his own and lets his train of thought derail. spinning out stories both real and fantastical. drawing out threads until they reach the boiling point of absurdity and send him into a fit of giggles. he repeats the stories he'd told mimic just that afternoon, tells him about the jedi, about the temple, about making their own home. then he remembers what helix had said about mimic wanting to be a pilot, and goes and bullies comet into educating him on starfighters. he recites his lessons to the camera each evening in the moments of stolen solitude he can squirrel away before one of the others comes looking for him.

"it's like learning another language," he says, and wags a finger at the camera. "you're welcome."

needle gifts it to mimic a week after they arrive at the temple with a wireless earpiece to match. no pressure, of course, he says, grinning, just thought it could be a good resource to have, words to borrow at your fingertips, but i know i'm only tolerable in small doses, so-

he squawks when mimic's hug lifts him clear off the ground.

anyway. so. you see my vision.

helix jumps a mile when he first hears needle's laugh in mimic's mouth. stitch yells at needle for a bit about talking so much, needle, is this why your voice was so hoarse- and then restricts him to tea for four days until he's sure his throat has healed. sometimes it's too much, and mimic will stick his earpiece to the fridge and borrow words spoken right in front of him until his brain stops buzzing-

but it works. they work.

and then.

it's a few months in. they're comfortable. they're setting down roots.

then one night needle doesn't come home.

helix doesn't wait to raise the alarm. needle doesn't spend every night home, but he's good about comming when he'll be staying elsewhere. he knows helix is struggling with letting them leave his line of sight.

and now he's gone. and he didn't comm.

the first three days stretch into a week.

then a second week.

then a month.

and now, the vision that has been HAUNTING ME-

helix, clutching mimic's datapad, sitting on the edge of his bed.

the lights are low. his eyes are red.

he hits play.

"-ah, i love them," needle says, laughing. the laugh stretches into a yawn-

(that holds for one, two, three seconds, helix knows it now by heart-)

a knock at the door sounds in the video. needle hunches his shoulders, grimacing- his eyes are dancing, he's not annoyed, not really-

"be right out!" he calls, and then- helix's voice on the other side-

"get your beauty routine under control!"

needle waits until his footsteps have vanished before turning back to the camera-

(six footsteps before they fade enough to become inaudible- helix has counted them so many times-)

"i don't need one," he says, and winks at the camera- his eyes are shining, bright and happy- "he's just jealous all of this is effortless. night, mimic. talk to you in the morning."

the video ends.

helix sits in the dark.

after a moment, he taps at the datapad again.

"ah, i love them," needle says. his laugh- snorting, open, happy-

(one-two-three for the yawn-)

helix hits pause. rewinds.

"i love them," needle says.

pause. rewind.

"i love them."

pause. rewind.

"i love them."

pause. rewind.

"i love them."

"i love them."

"i love them."

[read-write-thrive]

part 1

“Waiting for the other shoe to drop”, while pessimistic, seemed to be a running theme in Charles Rowland’s life. It wasn’t really a phrase he heard when he was alive, to be fair, but at some point he’d come across it (probably hanging out with too many Americans, but can’t remember for sure) and it felt a little too much accurate. His dad’s come home angry again? Time to wait for the fallout. He’d gotten written up at school for not paying attention? Just a disaster waiting to happen. He goes against his best mate’s advice? There he goes, literally torn from Charles’s arms and back to hell, just as he’d said. Maybe the last one was a little dramatic, but that’s the gist.

The looming anxiety of it all usually slid off of him for the minor stuff, and was otherwise bottled up and shoved far away for the heavier stuff, but regardless he didn’t let it show. Have to keep up appearances and all. He’d only had one real instance of all those emotions blowing up (and he still blames the Night Nurse for all that mess) so he thought he was doing a bang-up job keeping himself together.

That was until his dad died. Yeah, it was rough, and he ended up berating the old man on his death bed, which probably was a shitty thing to do. And yeah, he’d needed a bit of a cry afterwards. So what? Blokes cried sometimes, and he was man enough to admit to his emotions and all that. The girls had done a good job of emphasising that he (and, mostly, Edwin) needed to express their emotions more. That it was healthier to let it out than bottle it all up. Not sure if they still needed healthy habits as ghosts, but it wasn’t hurting anyone. Just a little uncomfortable.

All that to say, it felt like his friends had been treading on eggshells around him ever since his dad died. Which was infuriating, yeah, but also didn’t make sense to him. Especially after he’d already cried—did they expect him to get angry again? To blow up over a dead man? He thought he’d gotten it out of his system just fine, so getting these weird vibes was starting to stress him out more than anything. He’d resolved to bring it up on their next movie night and ask why they were acting funny—didn’t want to mess up a case, after all.

However, he didn’t get the chance before it all came crashing down on his head. Ultimately, Edwin was the messenger.

“Charles, I—“ he took an unnecessary breath, “Have you checked on your mother lately?”

His undead heart went cold, but his default smiley ways were still stuck on, “Not really, why?”

Edwin’s eyes were sad, which was never good. He didn’t emote unless it was serious, “I think you need to visit her. She’s not faring well.”

And so they went. Turns out everyone hadn’t been waiting for Charles to blow up, but rather for his mother to pass and then for him to break down all over again. Edwin had been checking on her daily since his father’s passing, deducing correctly that Charles would be too swept up in the emotions around his dad dying to remember that his mum wasn’t getting any younger.

The girls weren’t free until the evening, but they promised to stay in touch and maybe visit later if they could (particularly if they could figure out how to visit the Hospice without rousing suspicion). And so Edwin and Charles were on their own.

Charles had rushed into the room, as if running at the issue would evade the emotions of it, or as if getting there quickly would reveal it was all a lie—neither of which were true.

Instead, he was face to face with a dying woman with some resemblance to the photo on the mantle in the house he grew up in—his grandmother, or maybe his great grandmother, or some favourite aunt, he couldn’t remember anymore— hair gone fully white, pulled back into a tight bun so as to keep her curls controlled, keeping her gaunt, sleeping face exposed. Unlike that photo, this woman was in a hospital gown, tucked into sterile sheets, with a tube under her nose to help her breathe. Gone were her usually loud and ornate earrings, her bare fingernails stained from years of colour. There was a singular blanket laid across her lap, on top of the sheets, that almost looked more familiar than the woman it covered. It was her, but apparently he hadn’t stopped to just look at her any time recently, if ever. It felt too much like looking at a ghost, as ironic as that felt.

She was awake, but halfway to dozing. There was someone at her side, adjusting the blanket and murmuring reassurances in what was definitely Punjabi. It had been so long since he’d heard it, added to having never properly learned anything besides English under the threat of his father, that he couldn’t make out the words. That realisation left a stinging feeling in his chest.

“A relation of yours?” Edwin asked at a whisper, coming up to stand beside Charles, almost entirely copying his position from that fateful hospital room. It didn’t seem as if either of the room’s living occupants had noticed them.

Charles blindly reached for Edwin’s hand for comfort, not looking away from the scene in front of him and matching his partner’s volume, “No idea. Don’t think I’ve seen them before.”

Edwin hummed, “Perhaps a little too young to have met you. Or someone your mother reconnected with recently—“

“I’m not really in the mood for deductions, love.” Charles said, not unkindly. Everything felt too fragile to be picked apart like that.

“Right. Apologies.” Edwin squeezed his hand and went quiet.

Charles squeezed his hand back in forgiveness, joining in the silence. He kept going back to what the stranger was saying, familiar consonants both soothing and devastating. What kind of a son was he, failing to comfort his dying mother, unable to speak her mother tongue, a stranger to his relatives? His tears were thankfully silent.

It took much longer for his mother to see them than his father. Several days passed, with the mystery relative coming and going more days than not, and the usual nurses and caregivers administering various care. Over time, the boys (the girls couldn’t figure out how to enter the space, but were supportive from their distance) had learned that the stranger’s name was Sangeeta, and she was a niece of his mother’s who’d noticed her steady decline and was the one to take her to hospital and then to hospice care. Charles’s mother had apparently stopped taking care of herself after her husband’s death, and she had refused other care, so at this point all they could do was make her comfortable. Charles spent a whole morning ranting to Edwin about it, how unfair it was that her life was so tied up in his asshole father’s that she wasn’t even trying to live after he was gone. Edwin, the deeply kind person he was, had let Charles rant until he ran out of steam, then gently pointed out that she’d been under the thumb of his father for far longer than Charles was, and that she’d now had to mourn her husband and her only child, which presumably takes a toll. Charles had started crying before Edwin had even finished talking, and Edwin had held him close on the plush sofa for the rest of the day.

It was hard to tell if it was a comfort or not when she finally saw them, but Charles decided that wasn’t important to think about right now, if ever. Right now, his mother could see him for the first time in forty years, and they didn’t know for how much longer. And yet, with all this time to prepare, he still found himself speechless when the time finally came.

“Mere laal,” She beat him to the punch, eyes glazed over but clearly locked on Charles, “I am glad to see you again, beta. It’s been so long.”

Charles let out a shakey breath, “Hi, mum. It’s—well— it’s been longer for you. I’ve visited a few times, over the years.”

She reached out a sinewy hand on a bone-thin arm, and Charles flew to the seat by her side, keeping his focus to make sure his hand stayed solid in her grasp. He vaguely noticed Edwin taking the seat beside him.

“Such a handsome boy. You were so young.” Tears welled up in her eyes.

Charles, all anxious energy and nerves, tears of his own threatening to spill, was quick to respond, “It’s alright, mum, I’m alright. No need to cry over me.”

She huffed, “Nonsense. You were the light of my life. Who else should I cry over?”

They were both crying at this point, tears streaming as they sniffled in turns. Edwin laid a careful hand on Charles’s back in a show of comfort.

However, that seemed to give Charles an idea, “No, really mum, it’s okay! See the bloke next to me? His name’s Edwin, and he’s been by my side all these years! He’s the one who first found me, and we’ve been helping people ever since. It’s been aces. Not sad one bit.”

Edwin stiffened at the mention, then all but froze when her eyes turned to him. He knew he looked night and day from Charles, and if he started talking she was bound to find him as abrasive as everyone always did, so why had Charles pointed him out!? If ghosts could sweat, Edwin would be drowning in his nerves.

Her gaze stayed on him for a long moment before she broke the silence, “He’s been good to you? Not like those other boys.”

Edwin wasn’t sure what to do with that, but thankfully Charles was quick on the uptake, “Not like them at all. He’s— he’s the best, mum. None of those tossers could even compare.”

“Because the boys— the ones who—“

Charles gripped her hand, “I know, I know. He’s a genuinely good person, Edwin. I was bad at picking friends in life, but thankfully I chose well with this one.”

His attempt at joking was overlooked completely by her, “Those boys, how could they do that? I knew their families, John Parish’s mother went to your funeral… Such cruel boys…”

“I’m alright, mum, I’m okay.” Charles kept going, smiling even as the tears continued, “It’s all in the past.”

“I should’ve fought harder for you… kept you close… mere laal, taken from me…” She was sobbing, her whole frame shaking with hiccoughs.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Charles took a steadying breath, “You know I couldn’t have stayed in that house, mum. And no one could’ve known those lads would go that far…”

Her sobs were worse for a moment, then stilled suddenly as she fought for oxygen. She coughed weakly.

At that, Charles’s crying intensified, despite all he did to keep himself together. He could tell. He knew what was coming. It was still devastating to see. Edwin pulled him in for a proper side hug, taking care not to jostle his grip on his mum.

This did not go unnoticed, and the dying woman suddenly smiled, as if the devastation was forgotten with the oxygen. She looked back to her son, “I am glad you have been happy, beta. You deserved happiness.”

“I’m happy, I’ve been so happy mum, I promise,” Charles tried to calm himself down, stuck in his reassuring her.

“Mere laal, light of my life, darling boy,” She breathed with difficulty, smile dropping, “Can you forgive me? I failed you…”

Charles’s frame shook with his vigorous nodding, “I forgive you, mum, you did the best you could, I love you so much—“

Her weak smile returned, glinting in the lamplight of the evening room, “Thank you, beta. You were too good for me, for this world…”

“All because of you, I swear it, all thanks to you—“

“Charles.”

“I love you, I’m sorry I wasn’t a better son, I’m could’ve been better, gotten you out of that house—“

“Charles, darling.”

“You deserved better, I love you, I forgive you—“

“My love, the light—“

Edwin was right, a deep blue light had filled the space, illuminating the still body of his mother. Her face was pulled into a slight smile, eyes closed, as if she was having a pleasant dream, even as the tear tracks dried on her cheeks.

“No, no I’m not ready—“ Charles immediately started to protest, gripping onto her hand like a lifeline.

“Charles—“

“I only just got to see her! She only just got free of him! No, no, I won’t—“

Edwin gently but solidly grabbed under Charles’s arms, “I’m sorry my love but we should go—“

Charles was nothing but hysterics by this point, head thudding onto the sheets for a moment before Edwin fully pulled him away. He said more, but Charles was too overwhelmed to process it properly, buzzing in his ears and headache behind his eyes making him feel alive in all the worst ways. Maybe it was just the first time he had cried this hard in his afterlife, or maybe being this close to an active death did something to their physiology—

Everything was a blur as they returned to the flat, Edwin all but carrying him through the mirror so that he wouldn’t get lost on the way. They collapsed onto the sofa, extra large cushions taken up by their ghostly presences. The girls were already there, and joined into the cuddle pile without another word (or perhaps with a few, Charles still wasn’t all there yet). Edwin jostled them all slightly to better position everyone before settling in again, making sure Charles was properly surrounded.

Charles sobbed for a while longer. He wasn’t quite sure for how long, or what day it was, or if he was bothering his friends by taking up their time and space like this. His devastation had seemed to take over his entire being. But, when he did breathe a little easier, when he was finally able to sit up, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief. His mom was dead, yes, but so was he, and dying had granted them both freedom from that man, from that house, from the cruelties of the world. And in his death he was surrounded by people who loved him, people who were there for him when he needed them and would still be there for him tomorrow, and the next, and the next. The other shoe had dropped, and it certainly hurt, but thankfully he had people around him to help him through it. He was truly lucky to have them.

~

hope you enjoyed this impromptu series exploring Charles and his parents and grief and loss and all those lovely things. this was inspired by the complicated emotions I have / had after my grandparents passing, and I heavily encourage you to do something similar if you’re ever struggling with these big emotions—therapists and such will say that journaling is where it’s at, but sometimes it’s easier to project onto fictional characters and that’s ok !!! and, just to drive the point home, I want to reiterate that you are loved, and there are people around you who are there to support you, I promise ❤️

also, just to make it abundantly clear, I’m a v white midwestern american and as such have vvv limited knowledge of cultural aspects of Charles’s mom—I did research and tried my best, but if I screwed anything up PLEASE let me know so I can fix it!!!!! same goes for Britishisms ig but mostly looking for feedback on her Punjabi and her various cultural elements :)

[firenati0n]

and all i can taste is this moment, and all i can breathe is your life

by firenati0n on ao3

T | 9999

tags: city of angels au, guardian angel henry, lawyer alex, 5+1, dual pov, hurt/comfort, angst with a HAPPY ENDING! NOT THE MOVIE ENDING I PROMISEEEEEEEEEEEEE

“In all the years, across all the universes, in the midst of all these people…you saw me. You felt me somehow. A gossamer fine thread connecting us, yet you grasped and tugged and held on tight. If losing my wings means I gain you, then that is a loss I will bear with gratitude.”

Five times Guardian Angel Henry yearns for a truly human sensory experience, and the one time he feels them all at once. Or, Henry discovers the joys of humanity through Alex’s eyes, finds himself, and falls in love. Or, Henry takes a leap of faith, and Alex catches him.

xoxo roop

also i know i talked about this in literally january so tagging some folks who expressed interest in this in the past pls don't mind me <3 ilysm xoxo

@ninzied @suseagull04 @onward--upward @duchessdepolignaca03 @@candyspandemonium @anincompletelist @inexplicablymine @heysweetheart-writes @wordsofhoneydew @nocoastposts @onthewaytosomewhere @magicandarchery @celeritas2997 @cha-melodius @junebugclaremontdiaz @kiwiana-writes @eusuntgratie @bigassbowlingballhead @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @littlestar2911 @leaves-of-laurelin @tinyarmedtrex @galitzine-nick @anchoredarchangel @gltzine @getmehighonmagic @thirdeye1234 @movetoheavens @starkfridays @indestructibleheart @littlemisskittentoes @songliili @theprinceandagcd @gay-flyboys

[ackermans-angel]

Satoru Gojo boyfriend moodboard prt 2 - sad gojo :(

[kayzero]

listen all i’m saying is there needs to be a nonzero amount of angsty lesbian fanfiction with themes centered around monsterhood/becoming a monster against your will between scylla and melinoe

if someone doesn’t write about scylla seeing melinoe slowly losing herself to the weight of her burden because of kronos and endeavoring to keep her from becoming a monster the way she herself did after being forced into a monstrous form by circe then like.

what’s the point

[artbybai]

Have Mercy On Me // Finally, Peace

Z Broly Angst doodle fan comic whatever

Ramble ( TW // Ideation headcanon )

Had the devastating realization/headcanon that maybe Z Broly saw fighting Goku as his only way out of the hellish suffering he was being put through by his own father all his life. There was no rivalry. Death was his only escape. Broly likely knew that he’d end up killing himself by letting loose all his power at once, or that Goku could at least be the catalyst for it.

Maybe Broly wasn’t even fully trying to destroy the Z Fighters, but just making it a good show for his father to give him the impression of doing his bidding—until Paragus ran. Abandoned him, after everything.

And then Broly didn’t care anymore. His efforts, wasted; every day he has ever been alive. His freedom after crushing Paragus wasn’t worth sticking around for anymore, given that the Z Fighters and everyone else would already consider him a threat in need of being put down for good, anyways. A freak. The devil himself. Nobody would ever even try to save him, like he once did for another, even as a baby.

Broly was screaming for mercy when he called for Kakarot, challenged him to fight, threatened to take away everything Goku loved. Of course the Z Fighters were in mortal danger, BUT, they were still in good enough condition that a senzu bean could heal them. That just… Sticks out to me. Broly easily could have one-shot TPK’d every single one of them once he went LSSJ.

He just wanted to escape.

(Of course I’m reading way too far into it all lol BUT this character speaks to me personally somehow. Broly’s tragedy of a story tears at my heartstrings like no other character before him the more I delve into what his character can be and mean. His story is a powerful warning and a heartfelt comfort, a devastating mirror.)

[ladyhedoniste]

I really want a scene this season where Guillermo and Nandor get into a fight about something other than the secret, and have a moment where Guillermo grabs his cross to ward Nandor off, and just painfully burns his hand on it right in front of him. Can you imagine the shock?

[sakamoto-gays]

Talked about how much we miss Natsuki's earrings in the server, and natsushin inspiration suddenly hit me- i don't like publishing short things on ao3, so this one is for you tumblr (:

------

It’s while staring at Natsuki as he attently works on his weapons -a thing he’s been doing more and more these days, he has to regretfully admit- that Shin notices it.

“Didn’t you have earrings when we first met?”

The words slip out of his mouth before he can really think about them and he can’t help but feeling a bit embarrassed about it, but honestly he’s been wondering about it for a while.

Sure, it’s not like he had much time to look at the invisible guy while he was beating him up, during their first meeting at the lab, but Shin is pretty sure at the time he’d been wearing some sort of earrings - and he hadn’t seen them on since he’d met him again at JCC.

Natsuki hums in reply, eyes down to check the weapon he’s making.

“Mhm, yeah,” he mumbles, “i think i took them off for some reason and then forgot to put them on again.”

Typical of him, Shin muses with an annoyance that feels a lot more like fondness.

“Don’t you risk the holes closing up, or something?”

He isn’t an expert on the topic, but Hana wanted to get her ears pierced recently, so he feels like now he knows a thing or two about earrings too.

“Probably,” Natsuki shrugs like it’s not his business and he doesn’t really care at the moment, and Shin understands that he put an end to the conversation with that.

And he thought that would be the end of the topic, until a while later (after declaring defeat for the day in the always ongoing battle against his creations) Natsuki gets up from his seat and looks at him, his eyes gleaming with particular a light that makes Shin fear for his life.

“Should i go put my earrings on?”

Shin doesn’t understand why he asked it like that, like Natsuki’s playing a game he didn’t bother telling him about and he’s thrilled of being the only one that knows the rules, yet still he tries to reply.

“Uh, sure.” 

He hopes the words leaving his mouth don’t sound as stupid as they feel to his ears, and then Natsuki is gone - towards wherever he keeps his jewelry, Shin guesses.

So he is left to wonder, alone in the workshop, until a few minutes later the weaponsmith comes back.

On his lobes, where before there was nothing, now shine two small, black and round earrings.

“Well?” Natsuki asks, with a flat tone that sounds incredibly fake even without reading his mind.

“ ‘Well’ what?” Shin teases him with a grin, “You searching for flattery now?”

At those words Natsuki walks towards him, and suddenly he’s leaning down and his face is far too close to his own.

“You’re the one who brought the earrings up, so you should give an opinion now,” Natsuki hums low, in the most innocent tone a sly man like him can master.

And Shin really would like to reply with something witty and keep their playful exchange up for a bit more, but then he makes the mistake of actually looking at Natsuki for a second, and- oh.

Could a single, small detail like an earring change an entire face? 

Because as he suddenly catches his breath, Shin swears that Natsuki didn’t look so good before.

As he looks at him again, with those black curls falling on his slightly tired eyes and those lips barely parted and those ears pierced, apparently unable to look away, Shin can feel his face becoming hotter.

He gently pushes the other away, regaining some centimeters of distance between the two of them to actually let Shin breathe without the risk of exploding or something similar.

“They don’t look bad on you, i guess,” he huffs and then turns away, with the weird feeling of having just lost at some sort of secret game.

He doesn’t give Natsuki the satisfaction of turning back to see his subtle grin of victory, either.

'I should wear them more often, then,' Natsuki thinks knowing he will hear, because he always knows how to best get on his nerves.

“Just do what you want,” Shin groans.

But between himself, he can’t help but cheer a bit about that statement.

He could get used to seeing more of this version of him, afterall.

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

i am lowkey kinda obsessed with C-53's current situation on like a conceptual level. it's like reverse Alphonse Elric. what if you had to hold onto your personhood and identity in a body that fundamentally makes it physically impossible for you to do and be all the things you like about yourself. what if you as a flesh and blood person spent sleepless nights wishing you could taste your favorite foods, hug your brother, feel emotions with your whole body like you were meant to, feel your heart beating to prove to yourself you're not a walking ghost. what if you as an artificial intelligence were forced to sleep, feel physical sensations, feel emotions through your whole body even though you were only meant to feel them in your head, if you were literally unable to access huge parts and processes in your reliable mechanical brain. what then?

[therealslimshakespeare]

so how do ida and John both deal with the grappling between religion and the fact that she’s pregnant? I imagine there’s a lot of nuance and interesting perspectives with that

Ooh this hits. *straightens up in my seat and tightens the harness*

I’m assuming you mean Ida and John Brady -not John Egan…I’m gonna assume that but, there’s too many John’s in one place here haha.

Ok, caution, this gets dark, cheers—-

I do have the headcanon, and it’s very much just my headcanon, that the Brady’s are a rather typical Irish American Catholic family from rural New York. Different say, from that of the inner city rough and tumble sort.

They grew up with community, a church where mass was attended and precepts considered law, rosaries are in their footlockers, crucifixes tangled in the dog tags. They give thanks for their food, they save sex for marriage and they try to do right by their fellow man -and sometimes that requires bombing the fuck outta nazi bullies.

So here they are. And now…this.

I think from a religious stand point the “blame” is very obviously not on Ida. Johnny would never think so, ever, although there’s certainly the very real aspect of “shame” about it, but not in a faulty way. She didn’t have fun in the backseat during a drive in movie and now she’s knocked up.

Obvs there is no “blame” for any rape victim but I don’t think even a very “self-blaming” person like Ida thinks she coulda done more in this case.

However, also from a religious stand point, what’s ahead is very very very rough because, according to their beliefs -this means she’s with child, that’s a life in there, and yet, all circumstances considered, both brother and sister can’t help but hope the pregnancy doesn’t last.

Malnutrition and a host of other natural stressors could easily -and guiltlessly- terminate this “condition” and I think it’s a bit of a pall on both of them that they almost want to pray for it. But could never.

Ok, maybe Johnny does so his sister isn’t the damned one…

Let’s add Bucky in here too because even though it’s not a religious issue for him, he still considers that to be a baby, and to wish it away is awful, to have Ida killed for it is awful, to have a baby born with German fathers is also awful.

Literally all of it messes with everything he feels is fair or right and ought to be untouched by this war. He figured there’d be hard decisions, this is another level entirely.

Anyway, hope this didn’t get too dark for you but hey, welcome to the sorta history deep dives I do instead of drinking sangria and chilling out. 🫡🤗