#((((i'm really late getting into this show i know i'm sorry))))

[marsprincess889]

Intuitive messages

Random and symbolic. This may or may not be for you, trust your intuition.

Disclaimer: I start to channel with images, feelings/vibes and random symbols, then I see storylines and then other messages come too. These might be ??? to you in the beginning but please, trust that if you truly think that you picked your group correctly, then there is, most likely, a message there for you, even if it's not obvious at first.

Note: I have a lot of love for all of these three groups and collectives, a lot😭 I think we'd get along really well irl if it's not weird to say. Sending all of you compassion and love. Wish all of you luck🤍

Picture 1:

Signs: lizard, iguana, Slavic, name Irina, "The Great"(2020-2023), candles, Eastern Orthodoxy, Orthodox Christmas(happy late Orthodox Christmas guys🤍), "Slavic bimbo" aesthetic, goose/geese, pine tree forest, mandarin orange, Barbara, a barber?, brown colored desserts, Claire/Clarisse/Clara, Tchsikovsky, berries, Alina, Shadow and Bone(the whole of Grishaverse but specifically the S&B part of it). Nakshatras of Shatabhisha, Ardra, Ashlesha, Dhanishta, Vishakha.

"Oh Irina..."

Hello Irina.

If you're not named Irina or something similar, it might be the name of a person relevant to you or this reading. Or maybe you just like the name/it means something to you.

I'm seeing darker colors of Winter. I got a distinct Slavic vibe for this group, but might be somewhere else.

Now I'm getting the word "malina", which means raspberry, and the name Alina.

I think I'm seeing Alina and being reminded of "Shadow and Bone" so that I can channel the message...

It does not have to be relevant to you.

Anyways, Alina is the protagonist of "Shadow and Bone"(book trilogy and a show), for those who don't know, and she's the Sun summoner(only one of her kind), representing light that is eventually going to fight the darkness. That theme of light and dark and their interplay is the perhaps the most obvious theme of that work.

Spoiler alert😭 sorry.

Alina repressed her powers in the beginning, while being tested, so that she would not be discovered, fearing that if she did in fact have powers, she would be taken away from her best friend from the orphanage, not wanting to be apart from him. They were children then.

For context, she could have had any power but the power of the Sun Summoner had been prophesized and highly desired, not only by grishas(basically, people with powers in that universe) but for also saving the kingdom of Ravka(Slavic coded) from the fold(it's a wall/passage of void and darkness). So, she gave up a life in the palace, that grishas get, to stay in the orphanage with her best friend, unknowingly depriving the nation of the Sun Summoner for years as a result😭.

There might be a theme of willing or concious concealment, most likely of yourself.

There are many variations of this: some of you are doing it for noble reasons, some of you do it for survival, some of you do it just... because, reasons.

A version of this is that you have hidden your views, opinions, preferences, thoughts, feelings and/or small actions, because you think people around you will harm you? This sounds intense, I'm sorry if this is true. Maybe not physically harm you, but you guys just have a concious need or desire for extreme privacy and secrecy. It looks to me like you're doing this to reach a specific goal.

For some of you, most likely a minority, I'm getting that this is a pregnancy, and that it's not from a committed relationship or a marriage.

For others, it's a course you decided to take in life, maybe about choosing a degree or wanting to learn something(literally taking a course for a skill) on your own.

For the rest, this might be just passivity and silence around others when there might be a tense situation. This is probably the only instance in this group where I'm guided to say that that is not the best choice at all, in fact, it might be setting you back.

"Don't assume when you don't see"

"Don't express what you don't know"

Interesting... I think you guys are not only concealing your truths, but also sharing things that mean little to you. You might be speaking a lot about politics, for example, when it's of little interest to you, and your opinions might be strong too. Or you might partake in gossip about people you don't care about at all. You might be wasting your energy on outside things that keep the life around you going in some way, but deep down you feel ignored and jaded, keeping your world a secret. A feeling I'm getting while writing this is exhaustion, and a string of hope, fleeting, barely there. It's like you have a little eagerness and enthusiasm for sharing your opinions/choices/reality(whatever you're hiding) all the while it's getting trampled on over and over and over...

This is torturous. You should be able to feel included in the life around you. Your values are imperative and they should reflect on your outward reality. I know that you are concealing them in hopes of working on making them manifest in reality, but no. Your struggle is not worth whatever can be achieved by this. It might make things way worse...

Trust yourself and don't listen to me if you think I'm wrong, especially if your situation does concern pregnancy or a huge life choice, but please, hear me out too if you can.

"There is a sign" is what I've got. You might be given a sign about where you will be heard, valued and supported. Something about the letter U and nuts is what I'm getting already😭. These, and the sign you might get can be signs of a place or a person, of where or to whom you should go to if you're tired of pretending and in need of a relief.

"Your mother loves you". This is definitely for someone. Most likely a feminine. Maybe for Irina.

I'm hearing "you have everything". There is so much that is a treasure around you, even if it seems like everything surrounding you only restricts you. You have that passion inside, and other people have not managed to erase your dreams completely, have they?

You might be close to reaching the finish line of whatever you're trying to achieve. This is an encouraging and proud sign that you are on the destined path, driving on the destined road. Keep going, it's right there...

Picture 2:

Signs: Shakespeare, drama, existentialism, period movies/tv, longing for love and passion, medieval fantasy/history/films/cosplay/comedy/anything, Aidan, Gwen/Gwyn, Scotland, Ireland, Wales, USA, The Witcher, Ciri from The Witcher, daydreamer, Phantom Of The Opera, past life regression attempts(successful or not), 124, Jack, Jackson, "liar liar", emotional/intense music, poems, boarding school?, "Jack and the beanstalk", rainy weather, Monty Python, quiet kid, bug/bugs. Nakshatras: Pushya, Bharani, Mula, Krittika.

Jack, this is the pile of Jack.

I don't know who this is. Jack might even be a character. It might be something different for everyone.

Ohhhh I got "Jack and the beanstalk", okayyy...

Someone here is non-binary, I'm also getting gay men in their younger years.

Middle child or youngest child?

Some of you love theater, but that's an obvious explanation of the images I'm getting. There's a flavor of dramaticism and theatrical behavior.

But the soul of Jack or whoever is reading this is that of a dreamer. And the dreamer that they are, dreams big. You have a wonderful, rich, spectacular mix of stories, feelings, aspirations inside of you, and that world is the highest, most precious thing for you.

Jack climbed the beanstalk, went higher and higher than his mundane world. And I think that's what the theme of the message is, in a way.

There's something fiery with the way you guys present yourselves, something filled with passion and real, intense but self-aware care. You seem aware of your nature and delight in it. There's something airy and "larger than life" about you, but at the same time_ aware and grounded. I don't think I'm describing it properly but that energy feels very beautiful to me.

Might be off topic but the images I'm getting here are: a redhead young woman with blue eyes(or is she blonde?) with her hair flying and she has a very present/aware but dreamy expression, red and black plaid, Scottish highlands, rainy/gloomy/misty weather in mountains, fire, colors red and green in general. Someone here might be from Scotland, have Scottish ancestry or maybe they just love the country to the point where it means a lot to them. For the rest, you might have been getting signs about it, or seeing Scotland as a sign? Anyway, it's a sign you're being given now.

"Jack and the beanstalk" is a fascinating story because it's describing an ambitious but mostly go-with-the-flow, relaxed boy, and him climbing the beanstalk and believing the person who gave him the beans can make people describe him as having his "head in the clouds", and also having the fiery drive to just climb it😭. Aries energy is just like that, so maybe you have Aries(sidereal, but ig can be tropical too) as an important placement. But I'm also getting air signs, and earth signs, and Pisces.

So when Jack came back from the land of the giants, he brought gifts. Gifts that he had stolen btw but let's not dwell on that😭

Weirdly I don't think this is a message about "be true to your dreams, believe in them and share their results with your loved ones" as sweet as that is, because you're way past that like that is not your focus at all. It's also not the message of "you have to ground your dreams somehow in the practical reality". I don't think that's an issue for you. Even if it is, I think there's a different message here and I'm not sure what it is yet...

Someone realized something that made them have clarity. It's you. You have seen/heard/realized something. I'm getting you laughing about it, maybe from relief, happiness and/or irony.

I'm getting a situation that concerns a person you know. They either helped you or you want to help them/have helped them. I don't think you're super close with them. They don't seem like a family member. But the situation is close to your heart, spirit and soul... You might think this is karmic, something you have to do. Like, if you help them you'll be rewarded and free of a burden.

"Jack is in their head"

That was said to me from my intuition. Why are you in your head? (All of you are Jack now for a second ok?😭 all of you are named Jack, for all intents and purposes)

"Jack is a good kid"

I know. You are. Maybe you needed to hear this.

Why is this connected to your "head in the clouds" or your character though? Maybe I needed to get into your energy.

I'm getting names Mabel, Mary, Harley and Holly now. Ok. Got them quickly. Might be you or someone else, maybe that person. Isla? Something about a cage, a secret understanding between you and that someone?

Are you worried? You are trapped somehow, feeling sad about it? But you were not harmed, at least that's not how you see it. You might feel guilty or sad for someone, and a lot. Oh I so did not expect this to go here. It's like a very engaging story.... which I got in the beginning. The drama, the story, the realization. What is happenning?

Did that happen already? And then you realized something and were done with it?

(Note: so I got up and walked around, hoping to get more info. This is what came to me, some of these details nay resonate with you but the message stays:)

"Jack is a kid(you might be in your early 20s at most). He lives in Scotland, has an older brother and a younger sister. Jack has great leadership potential and a character that suits it inside him, but he's too "over it" and has a grounded but high perspective that prevents him from engaging or caring too much, and makes him more deatched, kind if like you(so Jack is like me huh). Jack saw something he shouldn't have seen, realized something he shouldn't have known. He went and apologized to whomever it concerned and then left that situation. Now Jack feels even worse, worn out and guilty. In his mind, that situation is over, he does not want to go back to it, and he does not have to, but he must have peace of mind. Jack is a good kid. That girl(maybe that other person is a female. I'm getting Isla or and S name that has I in it?) will talk to you and give you relief. Don't worry Jack."

Wow. So that already happened. You might have any of the pronouns btw, I just wrote "he". So you know what happened and most don't. Maybe, in that situation, someone from your family has wronged that person or you indirectly/unknowingly harmed them, or thought you did. You went to explain yourself and be rid of it. I think it has really worn you out, made you think too much. And that situation is also a secret that you were not supposed to know.

If you have not resonated to a single thing in this reading yet, idk what to tell you. But here's the theme: you have a high perspective and understanding, against your will, but you also like it most times. You will reach success?? I'm getting success for you, congrats, mainly in self-development/dreams/career for some. Some of you might be on your way to fame actually, minor or major, but only take this if it makes sense for you. It might be unexpected though. You have to stop thinking too much about whatever that situation is that dragged you down energetically. If that part of getting invloved in a secret mess resonates, then that other person is going to, most likely, say thanks/apologize/acknowledge your actions.

You can take that experience as a lesson and a turning point. You might remember it with a lot of feeling in the future, reminiscing on it with quiet comtemplation or vivid memory.

I still don't know the whole story of this. Is there a secret child involved? Let me know maybe...

Either way, I hope you have a good day, Jack😉🤍

Picture 3:

Signs: clean white sheets, linen, horses, color white, green meadows, wired earphones, clear blue skies, cloudy evenings in summer, youth/childhood, 33, rivers, washing clothes in a river, nymphs, lambs, calf, distrust of older males, visible joy, hidden suspicions/fears, Annie/Annika/Anne/Anya..., golden brown/ light blonde or long and dark brown/black hair, white tea, Bern(Switzerland)(big sign), Geneva(Switzerland), Lorraine(Germany), white flowers, Jasmine(name or flower), Elizabeth/Liz, initial T(might be of anything). Nakshatras of Punarvasu, Jyeshta, Uttara Bhadrapada.

I'm getting something about a rural environment, maybe about a family home there. It's in the mountains and there is a lot of green there in the summer.

This is most likely a memory or a previous wish/dream. I'm hearing now it was something that has happened and something you have a clear/vivid memory of, still.

I'm getting a sense of a (extended)family gathered together somewhere. I'm seeing it's in Summer months but it could've been anytime. It seems like a happy and carefree occassion. There might have been a man/male, someone older who raised hair or set off a silent alarm within you. You, the person reading this, might have noticed something or just gotten a gut feeling about him that gave you an ick, a huge ick actually. What's interesting is that I think only you noticed it, there certaiy was not much validation from others when it came to that.

"You were not imagining it"

"Someone was wrong"

"Children notice a lot"

I am so sorry but I am getting creepy and disgusting energy from that person. An older female(maybe a male for some of you) in your family/in that group might have defended him or told you you were being silly, imagining it, making things up from little evidence. But you were not. I am getting, strongly, that you were right. I have no idea why this is coming up though. For most of you, I'm getting this is not something traumatic to you, at least not really, but if it is, I hope you get your justice, however much you need. You should not doubt your childhood self is the message for you.

Validation from wherever I'm hearing this messages(😭my intuition?) is here. I think you're revisiting that time in your life or just remembering how you felt then and realizing you're not so different from that version of you. This is going to give you a lot of validation and true confidence. When others ignored or doubted you, you held on to yourself. Good for you. But I have to say that you were most likely around 12-13 at most, for most of you, which makes your self-respect even more impressive. There were so many attempts, councious or not, at killing the trust you had for yourself. Maybe the years after tried to do it again but wow, even though you almost slipped, everything arrayed against you just fell away, on its own. And now you have come back to that place of an untainted perspective.

This message was for you if you had longer, brown hair then, or very light blonde, and/or if your or some other person's name there was Anne, Annie, Annika, Anya, or any variation of it. Even if not, that still might've been for you, but that was just confirmation for a collective.

(Added note: when I wrote "might've been" just now, I wrote "might've bern" at first. Bern, Switzerland might be of relevance to this, or the whole country of Switzerland, actually. Adding that to signs😄)

"Annika, you are spot on"

I'm going to feel embarrassed if none of you is named Annika or a similar name but that's what I got😶 maybe that name means something to you, even if you do not have a real-life person in your life who is called that.

Another name I'm getting is Liz, or Lizzie, Eliza... you get it, any variation of it. If someone here is named Elizabeth, then they most likely get addressed by a shortened version of the name, or were then.

I'm getting Annika and Anne names much more strongly though.

So going back to the message, anyone who invalidated you, made you feel like you were insane, they do not know what they are talking about, and never did. At least regarding your perspectives and your inner world in general. It is hard when family makes you feel unseen, alone and abandoned, but give yourself a break for a moment and realize, that you have been the one with the clear vision all this time, you are the one who has the best awareness.

I feel something like irony and calm reminiscing. You have grown so much, only to become the same person you were that time. And I still call that growth.

(Another note: when I wrote "same" I wrote "sane" at first. You ARE sane, have always been.)

I am truly sorry for those people who made you feel insane because they are going to be really put through an experience. Not that you care for it much. I think you guys are good at having a "birds eye view", a high perspective that allows you to see the whole picture clearly. You are not petty at all, and prefer peace and calm as your vengeance against those who wronged you. Those people are about to have the rug pulled from under their feet. They are going to feel like the earth has bern opened beneath them. A blessing that they have never gotten_ the truth revealed. You have known it all along.

I think you guys forgot about that situation, and now, going back to it emotionally or mentally, or even psychologically, might feel like you're yourself again, whole.

If you guys have not hit a milestone yet, then I'm seeing success for you. At the very least, I'm seeing mental assuredness and spritual security in you, calm(on the outside) passion and contentment in general, a lot of independence too. True freedom from unecccesary imposter syndrome is also there. A momentum is going to be picking up in your life, like a ball rolling and getting bigger, picking up more as it goes. Independence, validation, balance, peace💕 and you're looking good I see, you're feeling fresh, healthy and true, natural.

Do not go back to anyone who has wronged you, even if they want to apologize and want your forgiveness. It's rude not to do so for some people, but your momentum cannot bear to be affected by that familiar, harmful energy. Try to be as distant with them as possible, and try to spend as little energy on them as possible, preferrably, none at all.

I'm seeing travel for you guys and I want to congratulate you. Do not know why, but maybe the fact that you have arrived in this flow is enough.

👑 here, for you.

Please comment or reblog to let me know if and how this resonated. I'd love to know more.

[c0s-lettuce]

common factor - dave lizewski x reader

gender not explicitly mentioned but dave calls reader "ladybug"

synopsis: after getting stood up, you seek out the one person who makes everything better.

word count: 1517

a/n: recently watched kick-ass and omg atj is so cute. inspired by the scene in kick-ass 2 when mindy goes to dave after getting date ditched.

Tonight was slowly becoming a disaster. It had already been a mediocre week at school. So, when a nice boy with blue eyes asked you out, you were eager to say yes.

And so, you stood alone in front of the movies on a chilly Thursday evening as you waited for your date. You knew you had the right time and place. You had checked Ben's message multiple times. But still, you waited for five minutes. Then ten. Then twenty.

You called it quits after thirty-four minutes.

As you begin your walk of shame, you don't yearn for your home or bed. You don't think of anything that would usually provide you comfort. Right now, all you want is your best friend.

So, you make your way over to his place. It had been a while since you climbed up to his window, but you still remember the spots to step and hold on to. Mr Lizewski was rarely ever strict enough to require sneaking around. But it was too late to knock, so the window it was.

You land softly on the floor inside. Dave sleeps soundly in his bed, the light from the street gently illuminating his face. He looks so peaceful that you begin to feel bad for waking him. But your need for comfort overrides your guilt.

"Dave?" you call out, loud enough to wake him.

Dave awakens slowly, blinking in the dimness. His eyes find yours, and he jolts upright.

"Holy shit," he mutters, reaching over to turn on the lamp. "What are you doing here?"

You take a seat on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry for waking you. I just really needed to see you."

He sits up, immediately concerned. "Hey, what's wrong? Did something happen with Ben?"

You had told him about the date, of course. He was happy for you. Dave is always happy for you.

"He stood me up," you tell him.

Dave's eyes soften, and he pulls you in for a hug. You melt in his embrace, unable to stop the stray tears that fall from your eyes.

"Oh, bug. I'm so sorry. He's such an ass," Dave says softly, rubbing your back.

"I think there's something wrong with me," you say as you pull away.

He furrows his brow. "What? That is not true. How could you say that?"

You shake your head. "No, you don't understand. I'm-"

I'm in love with you, is you want to say.

You want to tell him you only agreed to go out with Ben because his eyes reminded you of Dave's. That's the only reason you paid attention to anyone lately. Alex with the hair, James with the smile and Ben with the eyes. If you broke them all down, Dave would be the common factor.

But the words refuse to come out. So, instead, you say, "I'm hopeless."

"You're not hopeless," Dave reassures.

"Then why does this keep happening?" you ask.

Dave's hands take yours. "It's not you. It's them, okay? They're all jerks. And you know what? I'm glad Ben didn't show. Because you're too good for him, ladybug."

You frown, unsure how to respond to that. You look down at your hands, at how they fit in his.

Dave takes this opportunity to continue, "I mean it. You're so sweet and kind and funny. He doesn't deserve a second of your time, much less your tears."

"I know, you're right," you say. "I guess I just... wanted to be liked."

Dave nods in understanding, "You are, though. You're loved. You don't need Ben to prove that."

His words manage to make you smile a little bit. You nod in response, knowing he's right again.

"Why don't you stay over for the night?" Dave suggests. "I can get you some clothes to sleep in."

"Yeah," you reply. "Yeah, that sounds great."

Dave smiles. "Perfect. You stay right here."

Dave gives you a spare shirt and a pair of pyjama shorts you forgot once during a sleepover. After a quick shower, you get changed and take a moment to compose yourself, not wanting to shed any more tears.

Meanwhile, Dave waits for you in bed. He felt as if his heart could break. You looked so beautiful tonight. You should be out being admired and doted on. But instead, you were left in tears. Dave starts considering putting on his Kick-Ass suit and teaching Ben a lesson.

However, his plans don't go much further before you return from the bathroom. You tiptoe over to the bed, and Dave lifts the covers up for you. You slip in beside him, instantly comforted by the soft sheets and the subtle scent that lingers on them.

You and Dave lie facing each other, the setting familiar and cozy. He reaches forward to play with your hair, brushing his fingers from the top of your head to behind your ear. The repetitive motion soothes you.

"I don't want to see Ben tomorrow," you tell him.

He nods. "I'll stick with you as much as I can. I won't let him bother you."

"I don't know how people do it," you say. "All this dating and relationships, especially in high school."

"I couldn't tell you," he answers. "My one and only girlfriend publicly broke up with me and told me she cheated on me at the same time."

You cringe at the reminder. You remember when Dave started dating Katie. He had such a big crush on her, and you tried your best to be supportive. You tried not to hate her. You were glad when she did something worthy of your resentment.

"God, that was horrible," you say.

"Yeah. Maybe we're both cursed with bad luck," Dave replies.

You frown. "I thought ladybugs are supposed to be lucky."

Dave chuckles at your statement, taking a moment to think. "You're right. Maybe the universe is doing us a favour by showing us we don't need them. You know you'll always matter more to me than some random girl."

"That won't always be true," you say quietly.

"Sure it will, bug," he replies. "It's me and you forever, remember?"

His words make you want to shrivel up under the covers. They take you back to the old days when you and Dave had not a single care in the world.

"Yeah, I remember," you mumble.

Dave smiles. "Good. Don't you forget it."

You take a deep breath, shutting your eyes for a moment. You never expected this night to be so emotionally taxing. A few moments of comfortable silence pass as you try to ground yourself.

"Hey," Dave speaks up after a while. "How about I take you out this weekend?"

You open your eyes again, slightly surprised. How about I take you out? You wonder if he phrased it like that on purpose.

"You don't have to," you tell him.

"I want to," he says. "It's been a while since we did something without Todd or Marty. Maybe we can see the new Avengers movie. I know you have a crush on Thor."

You glare at him, feigning offence. "I do not have a crush on Thor."

He grins. "Aw, come on. You can tell me the truth. Though, I'll have to try very hard not to be jealous."

You whack him on the arm, and he laughs.

"Okay, kidding," he says, "But seriously, we can do that. Or watch something else. Or do anything, really."

The ideal appeals to you more than you care to admit. You nod, "I'd like that a lot."

He smiles. "Great. It'll be my treat. We'll have the best time, I promise."

You smile back. "Thanks, Dave."

"Don't mention it," he replies. "Now, go to sleep. Let that pretty head of yours rest."

You do as he says, closing your eyes again. You scoot closer to him, and he wraps an arm around your waist. He kisses you gently on the top of your head, and you can't help but smile.

"Goodnight, Davey," you murmur.

"Goodnight, ladybug," he responds.

An unpleasant beeping wakes you in the morning. It takes a moment for your sleep-addled brain to make sense of everything. You notice you're warm, incredibly warm. You realise it's because Dave's chest is against your back, his arms secure around your body.

You feel as if you could be a puddle right now. It's all so perfect, except for that beeping. It's Dave's alarm. Of course. You forgot it was still a school day.

Dave shifts behind you, and his warmth leaves you as he rolls away. You miss it immediately but aren't awake enough to do anything about it. There's the sound of fumbling before the beeping finally stops. Not a moment sooner, Dave returns, wrapping his arms around you again and holding you tighter than before.

He nuzzles his face against your neck, letting out a deep breath that tickles your skin. It's almost enchanting how quickly sleep calls for you again. Dave doesn't say a word, but it's clear you both agree that school can wait five more minutes.

➸

[angelitaby]

yes! i do with my whole heart i truly do

op i know you said to write in the tags but it's easier for me to just write it under to cut i'm sorry i have a lot to say

starting off with why do i believe in God? this is my testimony :3

i did not exactly grow up christian but i did go to church with my grandparents when i was young and those moments were so special to me, they stayed with me throughout my life. the last few years i had been going through it ngl i was so miserable i literally did not want to exist, i was in so much pain. then i lost my grandfather and that was a breaking point.

if you asked me at this time last year i would say i don't believe in God or demons and such things. but so much has happened that literally no one could convince me God isn't real. He has done so many wonderful things for me in this life.

i literally had a demon i will admit that right now. demons are not just these ghosts or monster things, they are real. i had one, my mom had one, my sister had one, my brother had one. i once had terrible anxiety and panic attacks, i could not leave the house without freaking out and literally crying. i hated my dad, i literally told him that to his face and refused to talk to him for almost 2 years. but i love him so much, i regret my words heavily. i contemplated many horrible things.

my sister and brother couldn't go to sleep for so long because they were so scared to, my sister heard screams telling her to get out every night, my brother had constant nightmares. i'm not even being dramatic. my mother called herself a witch and dabbled in witchcraft. there was even a time where i was seriously worried for her mental and physical well being.

a bit after my grandfather's death, my family visited this strange place in the city, there was this psychic who told them that my grandpa was watching over us. that he was there with us. that may have seemed comforting, especially to my dad and his mom, who were hurting so badly at the time, as you can imagine. but right after that, when we got home. my mom and dad started arguing constantly. they were on the verge of divorce. and my mom and grandmother? they loved each other, but even they too were fighting.

at the same time, my siblings were hurting. oh and by the way, the lady gave them this weird peice of paper that had Jesus Christ's name on it upside down!??? call me delusional but that was the work of the devil. i'm not lying, this was all very real. it was scary to experience.

but sometime during last summer, my mom met this woman, who reminded me a lot of my grandmother... and guess what? her husband's mother literally grew up with my grandma???? it wouldn't have mattered so much if they grew up together in our small town, but no, they grew up in an even smaller town in new mexico together! so of course our familles really hit it off.

she mentioned that she volunteered at the food pantry at her church once, i love volunteering and have since i was young. so i thought that maybe i could come too, i enjoyed it a lot. and even wanted to try going to their sunday service. let me add that before that, i had been questioning my religious beliefs a lot. i had visited a few churchs, but none of them felt... right. this one was different. you could feel it, you could see it. it is unexplainable in words. my mother was crying, it was scary at first. she's been through so much, i hate to see her hurting. but no, she wasn't hurting, she was healing. truly healing. my siblings finally stopped having such terrible nightmares.

a few weeks later, the church had a sale to raise money. my family went to help out, and as i was looking around i happened to pick up an angel. that angel belonged to who i now call my dear grandfather in Christ's, late wife. the angel says "All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother." on it. i showed it to my mom, of course, and he came over to me, told me how it was his wife's and how she got it for her own mother. and he bought it for me.

i wrote him a thank you letter after that, and we began to write letters to each other back and forth. he shared his own testimony with me, and it was so comforting to my heart. like i said, i lost my grandfather. but i shared in the sorrow of losing someone and made a friend. i truly believe this was all done by the Lord. no one can convince me otherwise. that is just a sum of my story, so much more has happened since then and before.

the enemy thought he had me, but God saved me and my family. the devil is out to hunt us, hurt us, kill us, and bring us down to hell with him. he'll use our weaknesses and bring us down. he'll shame us and tell us terribile things that are NOT true. it's scary. he's knows God has already won and he is trying to take as many of us as he can before his downfall. he has convinced so many of us that God isn't real, that He isn't listening and caring towards us. satan is a liarrr!!!!

but. but but but!!! God is better like i said He has already won

and okay something i see and hear a lot is if God is real then why do so many suffer? that is a genuine valid question!

God never said we won't suffer. there will be hardships in this life, and following God, i must warn you will bring more upon you. you know why? because of the enemy, the devil. he hates when God takes back what is His. His children, whom he loves. satan will fight claw and tooth to try to get you back, but you were never his to begin with. Jesus paid the price for all our sins with His life, His blood. He suffered for us so that we may know Him. we are His if we accept Him into our hearts.

He promised He will always be with us through all of the attacks the devil throws at us. He will heal us time and time again. He will lift us up no matter how many times you fall. i don't care what anybody else has told you, God will never give up on you. He's not mad at you, you're not worthless in His sight. you are wonderfully and beautifully made. those are His actual words.

but also God wants to help us grow, and sometimes in order to grow you must go through some pain. He wants us to talk to Him. He wants a relationship with us. He wants us to know Him. He's literally our Heavenly father.

if you are hurting right now, i truly encourage you to try talking to Him. just for a second just a word. just ask Him for help, pray "Lord help me" and He WILL answer you. He hears us and He wants to help us.

i promise you it will change your life. if you trust what i say even for a second it could save your life

i would like to apologize to all those who have been hurt by others who claim to be christian. but they are not God.

God is love. He loves us. He sees us where we are and will save us if we ask. yes He still loves you if you are gay or anything of sorts, no matter what anyone says. we are all sinners anyway. i am. all of us are!!! our flesh is against us and no one is perfect and we all fall short that is why Jesus came down to earth to save us.

Jesus came here not to end all injustice in a worldly way, but to give us a promise of eternal life, in a kingdom of gold with Him, and all we have to do is follow Him and believe in Him

and at this point (if you are still reading, oh may God bless you) you're likely thinking this girl is crazy! i am! verily so

but He has promised us that at the end of this life we will join Him. we won't cry and be hurting no more, we will be with our creator. isn't that beautiful? no?!

He loves us, that is the truth. it pains Him to see us hurting, so much so that he collects every tear that His children cry. but He promises to turn those tears into joy and peace. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He sees how broken we are, our worst our best our everything and He still without a single doubt loves us. you can't say that isn't beautiful. to be seen and so unconditionally loved

it's the most comforting thing in the world to me i'm a mess without Him and i need Him everyday. i feel so alone without Him.

not everyone will admit it. but we have all felt it. some time or another. that empty space and void in our life. that feeling of complete nothing. that's our soul longing for itself. The Holy spirit fills that space with our Heavenly Lord's love

"God isn't real where is the proof?"

this world is proof in itself. the world could not have created itself. i'm sorry but it's silly to think so

every painting has it's painter and every building has it's builder, yes?

but i'm not forcing anyone to believe in God. not even God is forcing himself upon anyone (again i say God is not ppl) it's not my job to do that

but i want to share how lovely His presence is to me. how He has changed my life. i know that even though i hurt He will always be with me and comfort me and He blesses me in ways i could never imagine

i pray that this may be a seed to someone who may read this i pray that someone may share in this joy with me. we should totally be friends in heaven frfr

i'm insane but i know my creator. i know He has given us all the gift of being able to know Him and talk to Him. all we have to do is believe in Him. simple as that. just for a second and it will change your life.

the faith of a mustard seed can move mountains

[shiftlalou]

HEYYY, i was wondering, do you have like a funny memory/storytime from you pjsk dr to talk about? Just cuz i’m curious and it gives me motivation ( ^ω^ )

i’m not that kinda person that likes to yap about their or but i do have some impersonal ones !

since us, MORE MORE JUMP!, are idols, we had some kind of photo shoot. While trying to find the perfect pose Minori nearly caused a disaster in the studio. in fact it’s not even funny i actually felt sorry for her (it’s always Minori istg)

when I was cleaning Rui's room late at night (IM ALLOWED TO. PRIVACY RESPECTED) I read some kind of a fairy tale on a piece of paper. I was very sleepy and so I threw it away. When I was just about to go back to the room, I remembered who my brother is and that it could be a script for their upcoming show. I panicked and tried to retype the script from memory. But of course I couldn't do it exactly. Rui noticed this but it turned out that he had a copy. Like a weight off my soul. But it was still really awkward 😭

while taking an evening stroll, I encountered a child who caught my attention. His mother kindly let me approach but as I got closer I sneezed cuz I was sick. I ONLY FUCKING SNEEZED. VERY. LOUDLY. The sudden noise startled the child and he burst into tears. I was so EMBARRASSED that I ended up staying home for the next three days

I'm An's friend so I heard about Nagi's death from her. and I suck at supporting so I said something like "at least you hoped she'd come back". she looked at me like "😐🙂". I just know she hated me at that moment oml

a whole post about lala embarrassing herself !💜

“just script out you get in awkward situations-” NO.

[ayrtonswnna]

helloo, author-chan! Me again hehe 😊😊

I love how you did my request abt Franco x Senna!reader. I really do, it really shows Ayrton's child-ish character (all thanks to the lord and savior, Gerhard Berger) Hehe.

Anyways, I wanna do another request.

It's for Ayrton himself, but the reader is his childhood friend who's goodbyes from him were like a form of betrayal for her accord and cut ties with him for good when she founds out he got married (which i think you know that his wife and him got divorced but then dated gfs here and there, you'll get my point). UNTIL, she was invited to the paddock in one of the races and she doesn't know he was a F1 driver.

Your plot is your own free will but make it STRAIGHT ANGST to Forgiving at the end, that is if you can ofc. No pressure 😊😊.

Good Luck, Author-chan 😘

ʚɞ a/n: more ayrton content yessss!!!! hey sweetheart, thank you very much!!!!! i am sorry for taking so long to finish your request, but here it is!!

i tried my best to embody your request (and take the challenge) and keep as much as i could of your ideas, added a lot for context and got a bit carried away, but i think it turned out great.

i'm head over heels for angst so here it is!!! hope you like it and thank you for your support!!!!

⠀⠀⠀⠀A LONG TIME COMING 〃 ayrton senna oneshot

ʚɞ ayrton senna x maria de oliveira. (female!oc)

ayrton sees his past right in front of him. a lot has changed.

warnings: ANGST. A LOT OF IT. story takes place in the late 80s/early 90s, it's up to you, author opened wikepedia and chose the first old man in power to be the villain, description of an abusive relationship, character physically and mentally hurt, ayrton saves the day, mention of non-active character death, author in need of therapy (she's picturing dead man as a savior)

Ayrton recognized her the moment he saw her. It wasn’t just her face—it was the memories she brought with her. Childhood afternoons spent running through São Paulo streets, teenage years filled with laughter and long conversations. All of it came rushing back in a heartbeat.

But she had changed.

The tight coils her mother used to braid into intricate hairstyles were now softer curls, looser and more subdued—maybe she straightened her hair sometimes. Gone were the colorful clothes and wide, carefree smiles. In their place were sharp heels, a tailored blazer, and muted tones. It was strange, seeing someone so familiar and yet so different. Could a person change so much and still remain the same?

"Do you know her?"

The question jolted Ayrton from his thoughts. The voice belonged to Jo Ramirez, McLaren’s team coordinator, who was sitting beside him and following his line of sight.

"Who?" Ayrton asked, though he already knew.

"Maria. My girlfriend."

The word hit him like a slap. Girlfriend?

"I—uh—yeah," Ayrton stammered, struggling to keep his tone casual. "Her mom’s Brazilian. Friends with my family. Something like that."

He hesitated before adding, "Isn’t she much younger? Like... twenty-five?"

Twenty-five. Ayrton knew her exact age, knew she’d turn twenty-six on November 3rd. He remembered everything. Her mom from Rio de Janeiro, her dad from England. Their parents’ business ties that had brought them together so often they practically grew up as siblings—until they weren’t anymore.

Until he left.

Jo chuckled, clearly finding the question amusing. "Yeah, something like that. But what’s it to you?"

Ayrton’s lips pressed into a thin line. Jo Ramirez was fifty. Fifty years old. Ayrton thought he knew Maria better than this, thought she’d never go down that road. A man twice her age, with a background so different from hers.

"I mean," Ayrton pressed, "she’s young enough to be your daughter. Don’t you... don’t you find it weird?"

Jo smirked, leaning back in his chair. "No, not at all. That’s the beauty of it. I can put her in her place. However I want to."

The words set off alarm bells in Ayrton’s head, a sinking feeling twisting in his gut. His face must have given him away because Jo laughed, clapping him on the shoulder.

"Relax, man. It’s not what you think. She’s not a kid. And besides," Jo added, his tone turning smug, "you don’t know her anymore. People change."

Ayrton’s gaze shifted back to Maria, standing at the edge of the garage, her expression unreadable. She seemed lost in her own thoughts, her body tense like she didn’t belong there.

Jo’s next words were like knives.

"These girls, man... they’re like having a personal doll. A private paradise. You do what you want, whenever you want. She doesn’t even complain anymore."

Ayrton snapped his head toward him. "What the fuck, Jo? Are you—are you hearing yourself? What the fuck are you even saying?"

Jo just laughed again, as if Ayrton’s reaction was a joke. "Chill out, mate. It’s my girlfriend. None of your business."

But Ayrton couldn’t shake the sick feeling in his stomach. His gaze flicked back to Maria, and for a fleeting moment, their eyes met.

Ayrton’s mind raced, trying to process Jo’s callous words. The jovial tone, the dismissive attitude — it all felt too wrong. He couldn't believe that the Maria he once knew, the vibrant and spirited girl who used to run through the streets of São Paulo with him, could be subjected to this kind of treatment.

The words "personal doll" and "private paradise" echoed in his head, making his stomach churn. They didn’t fit with the Maria he remembered. His Maria, full of life and laughter, had been an equal, not someone who could be reduced to such an object.

“I guess you’re right,” Ayrton said, forcing a casual tone, even as every fiber of his being screamed in protest. “People change.”

Jo laughed again, patting Ayrton on the shoulder. “Exactly. Don’t worry about it.”

As soon as Jo turned his attention elsewhere, Ayrton’s eyes found Maria’s once more. She was standing at the edge of the garage, her body tense, her eyes distant. The sight of her made his heart ache. What had happened to her?

Maria had always been so alive, so full of personality. This version of her seemed almost foreign, like a ghost of the woman he used to know.

It wasn’t just the physical changes. Sure, she had grown into herself, but it was more than that. It was in the way she moved, the way her eyes shifted, constantly looking around, searching for something or someone. She was no longer the carefree girl from their shared past.

Maria hadn’t come to the paddock for him, not really. She was here because of Jo, and she had no intention of rekindling old memories. Her posture was stiff, her eyes flicking nervously, never settling. Ayrton felt the weight of that discomfort in his chest. This wasn’t how he imagined seeing her again.

"An elder?" Jo’s voice broke through Ayrton’s thoughts, pulling him back to the moment. The tone was playful, but there was something off about it. He squeezed Maria's side, just like he had when they were teenagers, poking into her space with a familiarity that made Ayrton uncomfortable. "C’mon, Mariazinha, you’re better than that! I can't believe I'm seeing you again. What happened to your hair? You’ve changed so much!"

Maria’s eyes darkened, and her response was cold, detached. "Grew old, I guess."

Ayrton took a small step back, unsure of how to continue. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. There should have been more. More warmth, more recognition of the bond they once shared. But instead, there was this distance, this wall.

"Yes, could be it," Ayrton murmured. "How are you? How’s mamãe?" He used the term of endearment without thinking, but immediately regretted it. The word felt too intimate for the way things had turned out.

"Watching from above," Maria answered softly, her voice thick with an emotion Ayrton couldn’t place. She took a step away from him, eyes darting around as if looking for Jo.

Ayrton felt a pang of guilt. "I am so sorry," he said, reaching out to her but pulling back when he saw the way she flinched. "Was it... Was it recent? I passed by your house just last week."

Her eyes were cold now, and it stung. "Seven years ago."

Ayrton’s heart sank. He had missed so much. And Maria had been forced to pick up the pieces of a life that he had left behind.

"So, dad?" Ayrton asked, trying to change the subject, his mind reeling. "Bet you’re in England more these days, with Jo and everything."

Maria nodded, but her expression didn’t soften. "Yeah, I guess."

Ayrton noticed the tension in her shoulders, the way she couldn’t quite meet his eyes. There was something in the air between them, something thick and unresolved. "It’s weird, though," he said, trying to ease the situation. "I would’ve never guessed you’d grow into such a quiet adult. You were always so... vocal."

Maria's lips twitched. "I guess life has a way of changing things."

Her words stung, and Ayrton knew they were aimed at him. He had left her. He had walked away without a second thought. And now, all these years later, he was standing in front of a woman who had learned to live without him.

"You found a wife and left," she said, her voice tinged with bitterness. "It’s not like you stayed to know what I’d grow into."

Ayrton winced, his own guilt rising up to choke him. "Yeah, I... I deserve that." He ran a hand through his hair. "I made mistakes. But I’m really happy to see you again. Maybe we could catch up, catch up like old times?"

Maria didn't respond immediately, her gaze flicking toward Jo in the distance. She seemed to hesitate before shaking her head. "I don’t think so. You can’t just leave and come back when you feel like it. This is not how it works. I put my life together without you, and I don’t want to go through that again. It’s already too—" She paused, her throat tightening.

"Too what?" Ayrton pressed, his heart racing. "You put your life together with a fifty-year-old man who talks about you like you're a piece of meat? I don’t understand. I don’t think I’m the complicated part in this."

Maria stepped closer to him, her face flushed with frustration. "Aren’t you also fucking young blond women all around? Why is my life suddenly your business? Jo was here for me when you turned your back on me. I don’t care how he talks, or how complicated it is. He was the one who showed up for me when you didn’t."

Ayrton stood there, his mind racing, but all he could focus on was the bruise on her neck. It was dark, swollen, and fresh. Something inside him snapped.

"Maria... What the fuck?" He reached out to touch her, his hand trembling as he took in the full extent of the mark. "Is this ok? What the hell happened?"

Maria flinched as his fingers brushed the bruise, but she didn’t pull away. Instead, she tried to cover it up, pulling her blazer back in place and stepping further away from him.

"I’m fine, stop acting like you care," she said, trying to sound convincing. But it didn’t fool Ayrton.

He couldn’t just stand there and pretend everything was fine. He wasn’t blind to what was happening. He wasn’t going to let this go.

But before he could say anything else, Jo appeared, his voice dripping with possessiveness. "Maria, my love. Looks like you’re catching up with your old friend, huh? I bet he wasn’t all that when you met."

Maria didn’t even look at him as she pulled away, muttering a quiet goodbye. "I’m going back to the hotel, alright? Meet me there, baby."

Jo gave a lazy wave, clearly disinterested, before turning his focus back on Ayrton. "Don’t you dare try anything between me and my girlfriend. You’re my driver, and I call the shots. It’s best you keep your distance from her."

Ayrton didn’t say anything. There was no point. Jo had made his stance clear. He just nodded, but inside, his mind was on Maria and the danger she was in.

"Copy."

It's not like anyone is in control of the situation. It's not like Ayrton could just close his eyes and get to sleep. It's past ten, and there’s no sign of sleep.

Facing Maria after so many years brought a scary amount of new things to the table. Things he thought he had buried as time passed and could live with that way.

But no. Just like his first year alone in the UK, right after Lilian, his wife at the time, dropped him saying she couldn’t keep up with this whole career thing. Just like when he caught himself thinking about how things would have been so different with Maria.

They had history, a background. High school lovebirds and childhood inseparable duo.

Ayrton remembered their weekends together, the ones when she was not traveling to her dad's house. The way she was so bad at speaking Portuguese and would always ask him for translations once he learned English. They took classes together throughout their whole childhood. They used to do everything together.

Karting, beach days, countryside days, summer travels. Birds of a feather, inseparable duo. All the shared birthday parties, the shared beds, breakfasts, school rides. High school years, teenage experiences.

It all seems to come back now. The best and the worst.

Because now Maria is hurt. Physically hurt, probably emotionally too. The sweetest girl he once knew is now hidden in layers of clothing and sharp answers.

It's impossible not to think about the what-ifs.

What if he never left her? What if he had proposed she move to the UK with him and not Lilian? She had a family there, maybe it would have worked out. What if he didn’t kiss her in his parent's backyard for one last time?

These are the type of things that keep men up at night, awake enough to go down to the hotel lobby to maybe get some tea and tire themselves out before sleeping.

As Ayrton descended to the hotel lobby, the dim lighting and soft hum of quiet conversations brought a strange sense of calm. He wasn’t expecting anyone to be there, let alone her.

But there she was, sitting on a leather armchair near the bar, staring at a half-empty glass of wine like it held all the answers to her life.

His feet moved before his brain could stop him. "Maria?"

She startled slightly, her eyes snapping up to meet his. For a second, Ayrton saw the girl he used to know—soft, wide-eyed, and vulnerable. But it disappeared as quickly as it came, replaced by the guarded, distant woman she had become.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice low and tired.

"Couldn’t sleep," he admitted, sliding into the armchair beside her. "And you?"

She scoffed, swirling the wine in her glass. "Guess I couldn’t either."

The silence between them felt heavy, weighed down by years of unresolved feelings and the awkwardness of their earlier conversation. Ayrton couldn’t help but notice how she sat, her posture tense, as if ready to bolt at the first sign of trouble.

"Maria," he started softly, leaning forward, "I need to ask you something, and I need you to be honest with me."

She froze, her fingers tightening around the glass.

"Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn’t I be?"

"Coming from what I saw earlier..." he said carefully, his eyes never leaving hers. "And the way you flinched when I tried to touch you. Maria, you don’t have to pretend with me."

Her lips parted, but no words came out. Instead, she looked away, her gaze fixed on the floor. "It’s not what you think."

"It’s exactly what I think," Ayrton said, his tone firm but not unkind. "I’ve known you my whole life, Maria. You don’t have to say it, but I see it. And I know you don’t deserve it."

She laughed bitterly, shaking her head. "What do you know about what I deserve, Ayrton? You left. You walked away like I was nothing. You don’t get to come back now and act like you care."

"I never stopped caring," he said, his voice breaking slightly. "I was stupid, Maria. I made mistakes. But I swear to you, if I’d known—"

"You didn’t," she interrupted, her tone sharp. "You didn’t know because you didn’t stay."

He fell silent, his guilt weighing heavily on him. She had every right to be angry, and he had no defense. But he couldn’t walk away from her again, not now.

"Let me fix it," he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. "Whatever it takes, Maria. Just let me help you."

She looked at him then, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "There's nothing to fix, Ayrton. You can’t undo what’s already been done."

"Maybe not," he admitted, "but I can give you a way out. You don’t have to stay with him. You don’t have to live like this."

Maria swallowed hard, her hands trembling as she set the glass down. "It’s not how it works, Ayrton, this is not-"

"It is," Ayrton insisted. "You just have to trust me."

A few days later, the team had planned an evening out—a casual dinner to celebrate a successful race weekend. Maria had reluctantly agreed to join, knowing Jo would insist on her presence. Ayrton was there too, his eyes never straying far from her.

Throughout the evening, Jo’s behavior was increasingly abrasive. He held her arm tightly when guiding her to their table, his fingers digging into her skin. He interrupted her when she spoke, belittling her opinions with condescending remarks. Ayrton watched it all, his jaw tightening with every interaction.

The breaking point came when Jo grabbed her wrist in the middle of a conversation, yanking her back toward him. "Stop wandering off," he snapped, his tone low but menacing.

Maria winced, her free hand instinctively moving to cover her wrist. That's not much of him—acting that way where everyone could see it. "Jo," she said evenly, her voice trying to stay calm but laced with a tiny sign of desperation. "Not now."

Promptly, her eyes darted to Ayrton, as if something inside knew he'd be looking. And there he was.

The thing is, Maria isn't the only one who noticed that.

Jo smirked, releasing her as if nothing had happened. "Relax, Ayrton. She’s fine."

But Ayrton wasn’t fooled. His eyes locked with Maria’s, silently communicating what words couldn’t. Later, when the group began to disperse, he caught her arm gently, steering her toward a quiet corner of the parking lot.

"You don’t have to go back with him," he said, his voice urgent. "Get in my car. I’ll take you somewhere safe."

She hesitated, her eyes darting around as if expecting Jo to appear out of nowhere. "I can’t just leave. He’ll—"

"I don’t care what he’ll do," Ayrton interrupted. "You’re not staying with him another night, Maria. I won’t let you."

Her lips trembled, tears spilling over as she whispered, "It's not like... It's not like I can just leave."

"It is," Ayrton said, his voice softening. He cupped her face gently, his thumbs brushing away her tears. "But you’re not alone. I’m here, Maria. I’ve got you."

For a moment, she just stared at him, the weight of her fear and pain threatening to consume her. But then she nodded, a small, shaky movement that sealed her decision.

"Okay," she whispered.

Without another word, Ayrton led her to his car, opening the passenger door for her. As they drove away, the city lights fading behind them, Maria felt a strange sense of relief. For the first time in years, she wasn’t running away—she was being saved.

The sound of the sea outside Ayrton’s beach house was a gentle hum, blending seamlessly with the rhythmic clink of a knife against a cutting board. Maria sat across from him in the kitchen, chopping fruit for a simple breakfast. Ayrton, leaning casually against the counter, pretended to be busy with a task, though his eyes kept drifting to her.

There’s no race this weekend, and he felt like they could use a break. She would never deny a good beach weekend, and it only took a flight.

"This is just like old times," she said softly, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Except now, you’re actually helping instead of sneaking bites every five minutes."

He grinned, playfully snatching a slice of mango from her plate. "Old habits die hard, don’t they?"

She swatted his hand away, laughing lightly, and for a moment, the heaviness that had lingered between them since that night at the hotel seemed to lift.

"So," he started, his tone deliberately casual, "how did you end up in... all of this? I mean, I know about your mom, but... Jo?"

Her smile faltered, and she set the knife down, her fingers idly tracing the edge of the cutting board. "I left Brazil not long after she passed. It was... too much. The house felt empty, and São Paulo didn’t feel like home anymore. I thought a fresh start would help. Then I moved in with Dad, in London."

Ayrton nodded, his expression softening. "Makes sense. You wanted to escape the memories."

Of course! Here's the complete passage, maintaining the original dialogues:

She looked up at him, her eyes glassy but steady. “Exactly. But I didn’t realize that running away wouldn’t fix anything. Jo came into my life when I was at my weakest. He knew what to say, how to act... At first, it felt like he was saving me. I didn’t see it for what it was until it was too late.”

His jaw tightened, and his hands clenched the edge of the counter. “You deserved so much more than that, Maria.”

She offered a sad smile. “I thought I did too. But by the time I realized who he really was, I didn’t know how to get out.”

There was a long pause, filled only by the distant crash of waves. Ayrton walked around the counter and sat beside her, his shoulder brushing hers. “You don’t have to go through that again,” he said quietly. “Not ever.”

Maria looked at him, her eyes searching his face. “You’ve always been like this, haven’t you? Saying just the right thing to make me feel... safe.”

He smirked, leaning in slightly. “It’s a gift. Though I recall you used to say I talked too much.”

She laughed, a genuine sound that made his chest tighten, in the best of ways. “You did. You still do.”

Their laughter faded, leaving a charged silence between them. Ayrton’s hand was on the table, so close to hers that their fingers nearly touched. For a fleeting moment, he thought about closing the gap, about leaning in, about finally—

Maria shifted, clearing her throat and breaking the spell. “We should finish this before the fruit turns to mush.”

Ayrton exhaled sharply, a mix of frustration and amusement. “Right. Breakfast. Very important.”

Later, the sun was dipping low over the horizon when they found themselves on the beach. Maria walked ahead of him, her bare feet sinking into the sand, until she reached the water’s edge. She sat where the waves kissed the shore, her knees pulled to her chest, her arms wrapped around them.

Ayrton stopped a few paces behind her, watching. She always used to do this — sit right where the ocean seemed to meet her. She used to say it made her feel small, but in a good way. Like her problems couldn’t possibly be bigger than the vast sea stretching out before her.

“You’re still doing that,” he said as he sat down beside her.

She glanced at him, her hair tousled by the breeze. “Doing what?”

“Sitting here like this. You’ve always loved the water.”

Maria shrugged, a small smile playing on her lips. “Some things don’t change, I guess.”

They sat in silence for a moment, the sound of the waves filling the space between them. Ayrton shifted closer, his shoulder brushing hers.

“You know,” he began, his voice low and steady, “I wasn’t there for you when I should’ve been. But I swear, Maria, I won’t let anything like Jo happen again. Not as long as I’m around.”

She turned to him, her eyes wide and shining with something he couldn’t quite name. “Ayrton...”

He reached up, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. The gesture was so simple, so natural, that it felt like slipping back into something they’d never really left behind. Slowly, he leaned in, their foreheads almost touching.

This time, Maria didn’t pull away. Their lips met in a kiss that was soft, hesitant, yet filled with unspoken promises. When they parted, Ayrton rested his forehead against hers, his hand still lingering near her face.

“Things can change,” he murmured. “We can change.”

Maria smiled, the first real, unguarded smile he’d seen from her in years. “Maybe they can.”

They stayed there, the waves crashing softly around them, as the sun sank below the horizon, painting the sky with hues of orange and pink.

ʚïɞ check my masterlist 〃 drop a request 〃 featuring ayrton! ʚïɞ ayrtonswnna, 2025

[gunsatthaphan]

~ Monthly BL Breakdown: April 2024 ~ 

🌷 Happy May!!! ☀️

Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post! 

New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff! -> previous breakdowns

What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)

🌟 Love is Like a Cat - April 1st (South Korea / Thailand) 

🌟 We Are - April 3rd (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Memory in the Letter - April 6th (Thailand) 

🌟 Living With Him - April 11th (Japan) 

🌟 Gray Shelter - April 11th (South Korea) 

🌟 Beating Again - April 13th (Thailand)

🌟 Blue Boys - April 15th (South Korea)

🌟 At 25:00 in Alasaka - April 18th (Japan)

🌟 GMMTV2024 Part 2 (lineup event) - April 23rd (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Boys Be Brave - April 25th (South Korea) 

🌟 CHANGE2561 2024 lineup event - April 25th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 My Stand-In - April 26th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 City Boy Log Vol. 3 - April 30th (South Korea)

New series & movie announcements

🎥 The Fridge - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Flavor of Us (starring Benjamin B., Dome W. & others) - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Children's Day - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Blue Time - Date TBA (China, possibly censored)

🎥 Bad Guy My Boss - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Oriental Magician In The Ent. Circle - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Under the Oak Tree - Date TBA (Vietnam)

🎥 Invitation - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 The Love Matter - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 I Saw You in My Dream - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 I Wish You the Best - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Impression of Youth - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Meet You at the Blossom - Date TBA (Taiwan)

Other news from the BL world

❗️ The production company Studio WabiSabi announced that their actors Boun N., Prem W., Santa P., Sammy C., Yacht P. and Stamp P. have terminated their contracts and will no longer be artists under the company on April 15th. Shortly after, GMMTV announced the 6 of them as newly signed artists, along with the disclosure that BounPrem's upcoming BL Vampire Project is now being produced under GMMTV, who now also own all broadcasting rights; WabiSabi will function as a co-producer. New S. stated on Twitter that the decisions had been long in the making, as well as the fact that WabiSabi no longer functions as a management agency for actors and is now a mere production company. He also denied the rumors that the company is shutting down. Shortly after the transfer of the Wabi Sabi actors, actor Fluke Jeeratch (formerly Pongsakorn) joined GMMTV as well.

❗️ The Filipino BL Gameboys is getting a third season. An air date has not been confirmed.

❗️ P Ekkapop and Pan Jirachot, the lead actors from Kiseki Chapter 2, have announced a new project together. Details are unknown.

❗️ Actor Barcode Tinnasit has announced his departure from his agency Be On Cloud.

❗️ After some confusion, the Korean production company Studio X+U announced that their upcoming series Fragile - which was initially advertized as a Korean SKAM remake - is in fact not connected to the Norwegian web series and is instead a standalone series, which focuses on the life of a group of teenagers. According to ZUM News, there was supposed to be a Korean SKAM remake based on the Norwegian original, which was however cancelled due to unknown reasons. Fragile was created as a substitution.

❗️ GMMTV held their 2024 part 2 event on April 23rd. The following BL projects were announced:

The Heart Killers (starring FirstKhao & JoongDunk)

Perfect10 Liners (starring ForceBook, PerthChimon, JuniorMark)

Heart That Skips a Beat (starring EstWilliam)

Revamp (starring BounPrem, formerly known as Vampire Project)

Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist (starring MarkOhm)

The Ex-Morning (starring KristSingto)

❗️ The production company CHANGE2561 held their 2024 lineup event on April 25th. The following BL projects were announced:

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (starring SailubPon)

Goddess Bless You From Death (starring PavelPooh)

I’m The Most Beautiful Count (starring PingSupanut)

Pit Babe Season 2

Upcoming series & movies for May

👉🏻 You Made My Day (starring Tar A. and Bom T. from I Will Knock You) - May 3rd (Thailand)

👉🏻 Inverse Identity / Upside Down - Mary 3rd (China)

👉🏻 Wandee Goodday - May 4th (Thailand)

👉🏻 A Balloon's Landing - May 10th (Taiwan)

👉🏻 City of Stars: Special Episode - May 10th (Thailand, cinema release)

👉🏻 The Time of Fever (Unintentional Love Story spinoff) - May 15th (South Korea)

👉🏻 Blossom Campus - May 16th (South Korea)

👉🏻 OMG! Vampire - May 19th (Thailand)

👉🏻 Manji Reverse - May 24th (Japan)

👉🏻 My Biker 2 - May 28th (Thailand)

[hauntedwizardmoment]

jace literally got shattered at the altar of cliffbreaker and you expect me to be normal about that??

[mnonep]

I'm kind of like a baitpilled fishcel recently, really been squidmaxxing lately

[sskk-manifesto]

Next time we should just skip over ep 3 and do a chapters 84-87 reread

[brandileigh2003]

I'm not looking forward to 8 hours in car and then non child proof house with special needs kid who's been having a rough couple of weeks.

With in laws where I flip a coin whether they're going to be assholes or not.

And I'm still sick with a not so fun new... I don't know what to call it. Not necessarily side effect. Or complication. But. It's freaking embarrassing.

(ha! Tumblr goes... You've reached 30 tags. So write in your post. Not in tags. It's not the p.s.s.s.s. that you used to write to your best friend 😂)

[annabelle--cane]

uh oh gang I miss musicals

[arklay]

WIP DAY.

tagged by @girlbosselrond @morvaris @aartyom @risingsh0t @phillipsgraves @leviiackrman @indorilnerevarine & @denerims over the past month! sorry it's taken me so long to get to anything at all, i'm sure you guys have heard me address it enough, but thank you all so much for continuing to tag me in things while i've been inactive ♡

tagging @aelyosos @brujah @calenhads @florbelles @jendoe @lightwardens @liurnia @nokstella @nuclearstorms @shadowsofrose @shellibisshe @steelport @swordcoasts @wrymbloods @voerman & all of those who tagged me again cause i'm so behind + anyone else who'd like to share anything they're working on, not just writing! ♡

i haven't written anything since the last wip game i did, but i started trying to put diana's timeline together at the start of january, so i mean... i'll show that instead. as you can see, fatigue hasn't let me do much with it even though i've got all of her timeline already done and strewn about all over the place.

started with 1995 onwards cause it was originally going to be an ewskers timeline situation, but then wanted to include all of her backstory so i went back to the start and still have the late 80s and early 90s to get through before then, but yeah :]

it's going to include like all little moments i've thought of between the ewskers just for me and placing them on the timeline, so you can imagine how long this is going to get if i have to go to 2021 for village... like just 1996-1998 is going to be so much... she's very special to me if you couldn't tell already lmaoo

never sharing this though, it's just for me, and like will help for when i do her timeline page (more in-depth version of what's on her oc page) to just run through canon events and brief descriptions and whatnot. you understand.

everything is blurred out besides 1995 ewskers momence and the years, just cause like idk her i feel weird sharing her in-depth backstory unless it's in dms or something, just cause there's lots going on there and yeah. things. idk

i also made a carrd for twt if you wanna have a look at that :] there's some cheeky subtle things with the two resi items i used as pics hehe

actually, you know what, i'll give a lil bit from where i left of with that rewrite anyways, even though it's been months since i wrote it. but why not

Wesker left a fleeting kiss behind her ear then reached around her and hooked his fingers beneath her coat, prompting Diana to glance back at him. But all he did was gently pull it from her shoulders. She watched him from out of the corner of her eye as he hung it up on the rack by the door, his movements careful and almost calculated, until he turned back towards her, and the warmth of his body returned once more. He pressed up against her side this time, as opposed to her back, and one of his hands found a home on her waist. The way the arm it belonged to was resting firmly against her as he began leading her towards the kitchen was comforting, secure, yet unmistakably possessive. And she revelled in it. He had quite the knack for handling her just the way she wanted.

[biromanticwritergal]

Me having to read stories where the femme characters are badly written to be really dumb or evil. (To the point where you the reader asks yourself Why would their butch even like them?)

And also in regards to all the WLW tv shows getting the mass cancelation. Because we cannot have anything nice it seems.

Even an old wlw show I was watching on streaming didn't finish because it too was cancelled after only two seasons. And it was a good show too! This has been a problem for a while.

[neo-shitty]

spring day never latches on to a permanent face. it takes the form of the people i miss whom i have no way of reconnecting with. ever since i read that message in my inbox, it has taken the form of you, kesya.

[nikkento-writes]

Babysitter - Part 1

Pairing: dad!Toji x babysitter!reader

Rating: Explicit – MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Word Count: ~1.7k

cw: age gap (reader is 21, Toji is in his 30s), language, cheating, smut – PIV sex (doggy style), breeding kink, daddy kink

Summary: You're hired to babysit little Megumi for the summer, but you end up taking care of his father, Toji, as well.

Author’s Notes: This is repost from my old blog! I initially got this as a request and it became my first Toji fic ever, and certainly not my last lol. I'm posting this again because I actually wrote a Part 2, check it out! Thanks for reading! Divider credit to @/fic-dumpster.

You stand in front of a quaint house, checking your watch for the time. It’s been almost ten minutes now since you knocked, no answer. You gave the number from the listing a call, still nothing. Rolling your eyes, you take a seat on the steps leading to the door, waiting.

It’s the summer before you head back to university for your senior year. In an attempt to make some extra cash, you took a job as a babysitter through local ads in the paper. The first two clients were completely normal; this one is already leaving a bad taste in your mouth. 

Fifteen minutes have passed. You try once more, pounding on the door with your fist as loud as you can. Heel turned, ready to leave, it suddenly swings open, revealing a muscular man with black hair, glaring at you. “What the fuck do you want?” 

You step back, startled by his intimidating presence. Stuttering, you answer, “I’m the babysitter.”

He continues to stare at you, eyes following your body up and down, studying it. “Babysitter?”

Before you can explain any further, you hear a car rolling into the driveway. A woman in professional attire steps out quickly. “I’m so sorry I’m late!” She rushes towards you, holding her hand out to shake yours. “We spoke on the phone. I got stuck in traffic, I’m so sorry.”

You smile at her. “It’s okay.”

She faces the man, expression switching from cheery to dreary in an instant. “Toji, where is Megumi?”

He scratches his head. “Huh?”

“Megumi. Our child.”

He sighs. “Right. Uh, I’ll go get him.” 

While he’s gone, the woman pulls you aside, speaking in a hushed voice. “That’s Toji, my husband and Megumi’s father. Unfortunately, he’s a complete deadbeat. That’s why I want to hire you. I started my new job and I need someone to take care of Megumi while I’m gone during the day.”

She swallows hard, blinking to fight off oncoming tears. “I have no one. I’ve been shunned by my family, my husband doesn’t give a shit about ours, and I’m all alone trying to give Megumi a good life. I know this is a lot to ask, but I’m desperate. This is just until I can save enough money to hire a full-time nanny.”

She grips onto your wrist with both her hands, begging for help. Truthfully, it’s a lot to unravel, more drama than you anticipated. But the anguish in her eyes tugs at your heartstrings. Plus, knowing it’s temporary doesn’t make it seem so difficult. How bad can it be? “Okay. I’ll do it.”

Relief washes over her. “Oh thank god. Thank you. Thank you. Let’s go inside and I can give you a tour.” She leads you through the entrance, removing her shoes as you follow her. “Oh, and one more thing.”

“Sure.”

“Toji is home most of the day, but he’s always couped up in his room, doing god knows what. Just leave a meal or two outside his door twice a day. That should be enough.”

“Huh?!” 

She glances at you with a nervous smile on her face. “Yeah. I told you, he’s good for nothing.”

You don’t respond while you maneuver through the house, barely paying attention while she shows you around. It almost sounds like you’ll be babysitting two children…

~~~

The first two weeks of your new job go by smoothly. Megumi is an adorable baby; he’s almost two-years-old with hair as black as his father’s. While he never really smiles, he doesn’t cry either, expression usually stern, unless he needs a diaper change. He’s self-sufficient, always immersed by his own toys until it’s time to eat. Overall, he’s easy. 

Toji, on the other hand, is another story. 

You follow his wife’s instructions, leaving two meals outside his door, breakfast and lunch. And this asshole has the audacity to critique it! The bread wasn’t toasted enough. The eggs were too runny. There wasn’t enough seasoning on the meat. All this criticism while each plate is licked clean, not a crumb to spot. He’s never even uttered a simple thank you. 

But what he lacks in social skills or personality, he makes up for in his physique. In between meals, he works out in the living room lifting weights, doing push-ups, sit-ups, and pull-ups at the frame of the door. It lasts for over an hour, and by the end of it, he’s shirtless, dripping with sweat. You’ve done everything in your power to avoid staring but it doesn’t prevent your mind from conjuring all types of lewd thoughts about him. You’re ashamed to admit that he is physically attractive, only because everything else about him is utter trash. Still, it doesn’t hurt to look, right?

On the third week, there’s a shift in energy between you two. When he isn’t working out or going out to meet with his sketchy friends, he’s usually couped up in his bedroom, ignoring you and Megumi. This morning, he actually joins you in the kitchen. You stare blankly at him, stunned by his sudden appearance. Megumi is unfazed by his father as he tries to pull your wrist towards him to get a spoonful of mushed up peas. 

When he catches you, Toji glares. “What?”

“Um, nothing. Just surprised to see you here.” You clear your throat, focusing back on the baby. 

He rolls his eyes. “This is my house. I can do whatever I want.”

“Yes, of course. Sir.”

For some reason, this triggers him. He stands up abruptly, stepping to you, leaning his face towards yours. The scar on the corner of his lip twitches when he gives you a wicked grin. “That’s right. I’m in charge here.”

You flinch from him, scared, maybe even slightly aroused. He’s intense, that’s for sure. But part of you finds it exhilarating to be in his presence. 

Megumi whines for more food, to which Toji grabs the utensil from your hands to start feeding him. “Damn kid, he’s hungry all the fucking time.”

You sit up in your seat, regaining your composure. “You shouldn’t curse in front of children.”

He faces you, chuckling. “Curse? Seriously? What are you, five?”

You cross your arms, answering, “I’m twenty-one.”

“Interesting.” There’s that naughty smirk again, as if he’s thinking something obscene in that twisted head of his. And while you should be turned off, you’re not. You squeeze your legs together, pussy throbbing between your thighs. And of course, he notices this. He must, because he leans forward, lips grazing your ear, whispering, “Come by my room whenever Megumi is taking his nap. That’s an order.”

~~~

This is bad. Very, very bad. 

You're supposed to be better than this. Clearly, you aren’t, because you’re currently getting railed by your employer’s husband while his child sleeps peacefully in the next room.

“Fuck, this pussy is tight,” he groans, pumping his thick cock in and out of you. You’re bent over the edge of the bed, his hips smacking against your ass as he thrusts into you. He’s got a tight grip on your hips, nails digging into your flesh, pounding away at your greedy pussy, absolutely drenched with arousal and lube. Your face is sticky with perspiration, pillow soaked with sweat and drool. It’s a fucking mess, but it doesn’t matter, because all you can think about is Toji fucking you until you’re seeing stars. Until your head is empty and nothing but his fat cock is occupying your thoughts.

“God, you’re squeezing me so fucking hard, princess. You gonna come again?”

You nod erratically, reaching your fingers to your clit. He smacks it away, doing it himself, his thumb flicking against your swollen bud. “Fucking come on my cock then. Make it nice and creamy for me, got it?”

His cock is buried deep inside you, hitting your sweet spot over and over until you unravel, gushing around him once more. You’ve lost count on how many orgasms you’ve had in this short amount of time. 

After your climax, he doesn’t pull out, fucking you even rougher. Your body is pliant around him, yielding to his every touch like putty. You’ve lost control of yourself, completely enraptured in the intense pleasure he surrounds you with. 

He leans forward, chest pressed to your back, lips brushed to your ear. “I’m gonna knock you up. Give Megumi a little brother or sister. Would you like that?” He’s crazy. Completely unhinged. Absolutely fucking psycho. 

“Fuck yes, I want that,” you moan. “Give it to me, daddy. Breed me.” 

And apparently, so are you. 

“Oh fuck yeah, take my fucking cum then,” he growls. The bed creaks violently below you, his backshots brutal and frantic now, cock desperate for release. “I’m gonna get you fucking pregnant. Make you mine.”

He shoots his hot load inside you, stuffing you full of his cum. He doesn’t stop until he’s fucked it deeper into your pussy, watching with that sexy look on his face as his creamy cum leaks out of your slit.

Lifting you up to lay comfortably on the bed, he rolls beside you, kissing you sloppily until Megumi’s whimpers blare through the baby monitor, indicating that he’s awake. Toji laughs, smacking your ass as you crawl over him to return to your real job. 

~~~

You spend the remainder of your summer employed at the Fushiguro household until you have to go back to school. You and Toji continue to fuck each other silly every day that you’re working. 

The day before you leave for college, you say your goodbyes to the family. Megumi’s mom, who remains blissfully unaware of your sins, hugs you tightly. “Thank you so much for all your help. I’ve finally saved enough money to afford a full-time nanny, so we’ll be fine.” 

“It was my pleasure. I had a lot of fun. With Megumi,” you clarify, avoiding Toji’s gaze as he watches from the kitchen. 

“Seriously. You’re a good person. I hope you know that.” She smiles, truly grateful. “And thank you for taking care of my good for nothing husband too.”

As the guilt of this dirty, filthy secret eats away at you, Toji stares at you from across the room, smirking. 

[ridingtorohan]

𓇻 ft. tulpar crew x gn reader

𓇻 request. the crew's reactions to walking in on reader touching themselves.

𓇻 content. 18+ content, minors dni. potential second hand embarrassment, reader is gender neutral (no genitalia specified), getting caught, masturbation, semi-public masturbation.

𓇻 enjoy! feel free to like, reblog, or send in asks!

‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ Masterlist ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎Part Two: walking in on them

By all accounts, Curly is a respectable captain. He respects boundaries and doesn't cross the line. He's the captain, after all. Not having locks on the door is a safety issue, he knows. Just as he knows to knock. It just wasn't on his mind; he needed your help with something and you're technically available.

So he breezes right in, words on his lips and - there you are.

Holy shit, there you are. In all your lewd glory. "Oh." Then, oh. "Sorry, I'm just-" and he doesn't even finish the sentence because he backtracks and shuts the door behind him.

The thing is, that image haunts him, later. Wriggling like an infestation inside his skull. When he sees you, he acts every bit the proper superior, doesn't bat an eye. Internally, he sees flashes of skin, the way you moaned and sighed.

It leaves a lasting impression in his mind and he's so painfully aware of it. Aware of it in more ways than one because he knows nothing can come of this. It's awkward enough walking in on someone, awkward even more when everytime he knocks on your door afterwards, he's praying that you'll be nude and waiting for him.

Late at night, he remembers it, stroking himself and pressing his face into a pillow as his hips jerk, spilling himself over his fingers, wishing that it was your hands on him.

Sometimes, he wishes you'd walk in on him too.

Even Jimmy knows better than to poke through doors, especially when everybody is awake. He's never felt the need to, not with the open door policy and frankly, until this, he's only noticed you in passing.

Nimble as ever, he opens your door, irritated over something that one of the crew members had done the other day. Sometimes, he just liked to vent and rage about the injustice. You're easy to talk to, but he's never really sought you out for anything else before.

The door shuts behind him and he just stands there, previous irritation set to the backburner. Because there you are, uniform discarded and showing off your form, hand between your thighs as you nursed your arousal.

Above all else, Jimmy is a certified voyeur. He likes to watch and admire, drilling inside his head about the way your hand moves, the curve of your spine. Each individual sound. But even Jimmy has his limits.

When you're close or have already come, he slides up behind you, hot breath at your neck, thick hands skimming over your waist, to your thighs, only to settle on top of yours. "As much as I enjoy the view, pet, I'm going to take it from here." And he makes damn good no his promise.

He makes a mental note that to visit your room far more often.

Anya really just needed an answer to a quick question, relating to your latest check in to the medbay (or your duties). She knocks on the door, too softly to be heard over the sound of your activities.

It takes her an embarrassingly long time to even realize what was going on. All she sees is your huddled form. First comes the concern, her hand reaching out for your shoulder, "Are you oka-"

And you let out such a noisy sigh that she freezes. She's gotten laid before and suddenly it hits her like a truck just what she walked into because she knows what those sounds mean. Furiously backpedalling, her hand raises to her mouth. "I'm so sorry."

Quietly, she excuses herself from your quarters, ears a little red and hands shaking.

For a long, awkward time afterward, she can't even meet your eyes, even going as far as delegating the psych eval to Curly.

If you ever get injured, she performs it as meticulously as she can, her eyes tracing over every ounce of your body, trying to forget the way you moved.

Frankly, at one point, one of you would have to address what happened. But she's more than eager to ride this bumpy path until then, even if it strains your relationship with her.

Everytime she sees you that familiar, yawning ache simmers in her gut.

As much as she tried to deny it, what she walked in on affected her.

When the tension becomes too much, she finds herself sitting on her leg, grinding herself against her calf, biting the inside of her cheek as she imagines you there.

As stupid as it is, she might have maybe done it in your presence, hands trembling as she tries to keep a conversation going, desk separating you two. Other times, when it becomes unbearable, she rubs her thighs together or slides her calves against the leg of her chair, praying to god that you don't see her. (But half of her hoping that you will.)

He's been looking for you for the better part of half an hour; usually, he finds you in obscure places or with his intern, so the last place he thought to look was in your bedroom. Really, that should have been his first guess. You two were supposed to talk about something and it's been on his mind like a nagging hornet.

Sure, walking into another's room is technically frowned upon, but with all the mishaps of Daisuke barging into people's rooms (much to the disgruntlement of, well, everyone) that for a split second he didn't even consider it.

He just opens the door and - okay, so you're doing that. No wonder you were absent, so engrossed in self pleasure that you didn't even hear him stepping in.

Swansea feels too old for this, seeing your twisted figure, your cries of pleasure. So he just turns around and shuts the door, leaving you to it.

He tucks himself back into a latest project and perusing Daisuke's homework, busying himself until you're finished and in public. Not that he planned to publicly confront you about it, but because he knew everybody needed a little time alone. As small as the Tulpar was, he knew any time and space should be well spent. Even if he silently questioned your methods.

But he does bring it up. He doesn't let it slide (not like how your hands slid between your thighs and-).

Despite whatever personality conflicts you two had, he had eyes and all working parts, thank you very much. He also had needs.

Once the original topic was out of the way, he crossed his arms, expression serious when he says, "Now, it's all my doin' for bargin' in like that, but I saw something of you that I shouldn't have." He'd elaborate if he had to, "If alone time is what you're after, we've got socks for that. Toss it on your door handle and be done with it; I ain't gonna let nobody disturb ya during it."

As awkward as that conversation was, he's handled it before. He has grown kids, after all. But you're not his kid, and you're certainly grown - he's seen that. Noticed it off-hand a few times before too.

He sighs, leaning back, letting you decide when he adds, "But if release is what you're after, I know a thing or two, and I can help you with that."

All but acting like a lost puppy, Daisuke often turned to you for help in locating his missing items. Batteries, dust pan, his gameboy cartridge. (Swansea was so mad the last time he lost the screwdriver and thanked you profusely with your help locating it.) So popping in for a quick minute into your bedroom to ask for your help in locating his soap was a mindless task.

He pops in, door banging, energetic words on his lips. His brain all but sputters when your eyes connect, nude form on the bed, sprawled out, light sheen of sweat on your body, looking like a tribute straight from the gods.

Despite your hasty attempt to cover and a spew of apologies from Daisuke's lips, he can't take his eyes off you. It's like he can't even blink, so absorbed in your image that half of what he's saying doesn't make sense.

You'd have to forcibly remove him because he is rooted to his spot, unable to vacate of his own free will. He'll be banging on your door, pleading to be let back in, to talk it over. He's not sure what he wants to say - more apologies? Explain why he's there? He wants to offer help so badly.

If he's not pushed out at all, his brain ceases to function. Despite being a handsome lad, and being twenty, he's hardly been with anyone. Sure, he knows exactly what you're up to - he's done it himself plenty of times-- but all those words die in his mouth.

"Soap, I swear I'm just looking for soap," he explains, trying to rush into an explanation, the only coherent thing he can say.

He'll eventually manage to sputter, "I was going to go shower, but nowIwannaknowifyouwanttojoinme" is strewn in with "ohmygodpleaseletmehelpyou".

He's all jittery, achingly hard in his pants, wanting to touch and hear you make those sounds again. Daisuke feels like he'll go insane if he doesn't. Hands fidgeting, his fingers curl in, unconsciously taking a few steps in. He'll finally manage a coherent, "Please let me stay."