#(( and you cant do anything about it or tell where it is!

[footygirl114]

Entrenadora (Alexia Putellas X Reader)

It has been absolutely forever since I have written anything, but this idea came to me and has been stuck ever since. I have more ideas for where this could go but would like to see if this idea is even interesting first. Please let me know what we think, as I fear I am washed up and my stories suck

Crouched down on the sideline, all you could do is watch as the #10 on your team cuts back across the top of the 18 shaking the defender and curls the ball into the top corner. You jumped up and could feel the bench behind you also jumping up and you watch on as the girls on the field surround the goal scorer as they celebrate. 

the feeling of your assistant coach slapping you on the back and say in“You were right the girls practicing the cutbacks paid off!” brings you back to the game at the moment. 

You smile and see the bench settle behind you and turn back to watch your team run back to get set for the kick off and you clap and yell out “come on girls, stay solid for 3 more mins, we got this!” 

The next few minutes pass by slowly, as you pace the sidelines occasionally yelling out instructions, but when the final whistle goes you can feel the relief settle in. You watch as the bench runs out on to the field and surround their goalie celebrating the semi final victory. You follow the team out and work your way through congratulating your players, but when your #10 who also happens to be your 10 year old niece wraps you in big hug you smile extra big. 

“That was a sweet goal Cami!” you tell her as she pulls back form you. 

“You taught me how to do that Tia!” she smiles up at you, and you cant help to pinch her cheek and she squeals and turns to celebrate with her teammates. 

You walk back towards the bench, after shaking the other teams coaches hands, and you start packing up your stuff and make sure the girls haven’t left anything lying about. You turn to get the girls to start cool downs, and you notice that your assistant coach has already got the team cooling down. 

Using the moment to stand there and think back on what you need to do for the afternoon prior to the final later in the evening. You fail to notice your brother come up behind you and squeeze your shoulders. 

You jump and turn to see him standing there and you whack him on the shoulder and say “you’re an ass.” 

He smirks and says “congrats on the win coach!” 

“Good thing you brought me in, you never would have got them to a final” you tease him with  smile. 

He chuckles and says “ouch, I wanted to coach but no parents were allowed.” 

“thank god you have such an awesome sister then” you smirk at him and move to gather your stuff as the team comes over to get their bags and move off the field. 

You cant help but smile at your big brother and your niece talking about the game as you follow them across the field. You follow them to your cars, and plans are made for the 3 hour window the team has before the final, to get the girls fed. You take a second to look at the schedule and see the other semi final is being played now and you decide to go and watch and scout the teams. 

You make your way towards the field the game is being played on and you find an empty spot towards a corner flag to stand in and watch. You are lost in the game that you don’t notice someone else coming to stand near you, and when you say something out loud about how stupid of a play that was you do not expect to hear a response. 

“si, I agree, would have been better to play the ball to the wing” the voice beside you says. 

You turn and see a stunning women, clad in Barcelona shorts and a half zip with a black ball cap on. It takes you a second but you finally respond with “or the ball should have been cycled back and not forced into a play.” 

“The centre back has a good range, she could have made a better attack” she says to you. 

The two of you go back and forth for the next few minutes before a goal is scored the way you both were just describing. You both laugh and you say to her “seems we both had a good grasp on the game.” 

“si, its refreshing to talk to someone who sees the game as a whole” she smiles at you. Before you can say anything else she asks “did you see that pass?”

“it was a waste of an opportunity” you reply back. It starts your conversation back up and you continue to discuss the tactics of the game in front of you. It lasts for the rest of the game, when your phone rings and its your brother calling and you turn to her and say “excuse me, I need to take this.” 

“I should go anyway, I enjoyed talking with you!” she says with a wink and she turns and moves away. 

You watch for a moment and walk the other way answering the phone to your brother, and you cant help but think that you would like to be able to talk to her again. When the time comes for your team to warm up, you completely forget about the conversation you had with the cute woman, and you focus fully on the game. 

When your team comes out the victors and after the celebrating dies down and you are standing in line waiting for the medal ceremony do you see her again. She is standing behind the convenor of the tournament with 2 other women dressed in the same outfit she’s wearing. You hear the convenor making a speech about the tournament and then introduces the 3 Barcelona Women players that are there to present the medals does it click who she is. 

You can feel the heat to your cheeks as you remember how you just spoke tactics with one of the best players in the world. You have to follow the team through the motions of getting the medals and you can barley look her in the eye as she places medal over your head. Luckily team pictures take priority and getting the team squared away takes up your team before you can continue to overthink it. 

When the madness dies down and a few people are left straggling around you find your self alone on the field. You are not alone for long when she steps up beside you and says “congratulations coach.”

You turn to her and say “Gracias, but my name is Y/N” as you turn to hold your hand out to her.

“Alexia” she says and shakes your hand with a smile. 

You try to ignore the tingling up your arm as she shakes it and you ask “Why didn’t you tell me who I was talking to earlier?”

She shrugged and says “does it matter? I enjoyed the tactics talk with someone who has the same view of the game as me.” 

“I mean I could have at least rolled out the red carpet, or maybe gone and watched some game play footage of how you move on the field” you chuckle back to her.

She smiles and says “Oh you would have watched me?” 

You shrug and say “for purely tactical reasons only.” 

She laughs out loud at that and says “can I take you for a drink to pick your brain about how my body moves?” 

“thats tempting for purely tactical reasons, but I promised my niece I would come celebrate the teams win with her tonight” You softly smile at her. 

She places her hand on your arm and smiles “you coach your nieces team here?” 

“si I do.” 

“thats very sweet of you” she squeezes your arm and continues “can we take a rain check?”

Nodding you move back a few steps to dig into your bag for your clipboard, and you write your number down and rip a piece off to hand to her and you say “call me for a rain check Alexia.” 

She smiles with a chuckle and says “I see what you did there, but I will be calling you for purely tactical reasons.” 

“I should go catch up with my niece.”

“you should” and she moves closer to you and press a kiss to your cheek and says “You’ll be hearing from me.” 

You watch as she jogs away to her other team mates and you move to meet your brother and niece in the parking lot. Your brother sees you coming and asks “what took you so long?” 

“Nothing, I was just taking it all in” you tell him with a smile. 

“mhm the blush on your cheek says otherwise baby sister.” he teases you and before you can swat at him he moves out of the way and says “now come on Cami is waiting for us.” 

***

The following morning as you are walking into your first class of the day you feel your watch buzz with a new message, you see it was an incoming message and you glance down quickly to notice it was an unknown number. Before you can read it you are at the door of your class room and you walk in and place your stuff down at the front podium. Looking up as you are connecting your laptop the lecture hall is about 3/4 full with 2 minutes to class to start. 

As your laptop boots up you can help but check your messages and you immediately can feel the smile and blush work the way up your cheeks. 

Unknown: Figured Id let you get a head start on the purely tactical reasons to watch me, and send you a link to the last goal I scored, I wont tell anyone if you watch it back a few times. But I would like to hear all about how my body moves from your perspective over dinner? 

Unknown: Also Hi, from the cute footballer you gave your number to, who would also like to be able to study how you move, again for purely tactical reasons ;)

[iid-smile]

content: suggestive (16+), ribbons and bows, suguru may or may not be into getting tied up, playing hot or cold on his body, gn!reader

it started off as a simple ribbon in his hair.

unfortunately, suguru's hair was too heavy for a measly piece of silk to hold up, so you settle for a half up half down. then a bun (with the help of a few actual hair ties), then space buns, french braids, and a high ponytail.

once you got bored, the bows started going elsewhere. the first was a scrap piece around his pinky, and then you mummified his entire hand into a mess of pink and white, with the loops of the bows extra large and floppy. soon, after lifting his sleeves, there was ribbon one around his bicep, and the other, and both of his forearms too. you half-jokingly offered to put one around his neck, but he profusely disagreed with the idea (unfortunately)

the most absurd place you could think of putting your next bow was around his waist, which was definitely pretty. pretty enough for you to snap a few shots of him looking all cute and dolled up. perhaps it awakened something inside of you, perhaps you'd use these pictures for your own endeavours later on tonight.

at that point, you were ready to clean everything up, he stops you, gripping onto your wrist, his expression almost offended. "aren't you missing somewhere?"

you're genuinely confused, your eyebrows furrowing as slight worry starts to rise. "somewhere... where?" oh. it finally hits you what he's hinting at, but you keep your cool, tilting your head as your lips form into a pout.

his eyes narrow in disbelief, talking as he adjusts your positions so you were comfortably sat on top of him. being a tease was always a good starting point. "are you gonna make me play hot or cold? is that it?" his chuckle sounds bitter, but you can tell he's not serious about it.

you'll take your chances.

his neck: extremely cold, you still wanted to put one there, but whatever. his shoulder: cold, not an ideal spot anyways. over his ribs: warmer, but then the silk wouldn't be long enough to do so. your hand drifted lower and lower, towards his hips, and you seemed to be getting warmer and warmer, but you purposely miss the target.

"now you're just acting dumb." he tugs on your wrists, your chest pushed up against his own. it's impossible to ignore the heat blooming between the two of you. suguru pulls you closer, fingers slipping over your back and into the waistband of your underwear as he whispers. "sorry, but one of these bows might get a little wet."

'a little' was an understatement; it got soaked.

a/n: never written anything this spicy in my life + i cant find the right dividers

[b-lossm]

•*+Jonny+*•

Cait x reader [Anget->fluff]

Synopsis: She always said you where above the girls she snuck into her room, then why wont she put a label on the two of you?

ooc Cait i think but like I didnt know how to finish this

"God I'm loosing my mind" you mumble to yourself as you prime a canvas, for a date night that might not even happen. 'what's the point' you think while putting your stuff away, you planned a nice date night for you and Cait, but now your just questioning if she even loves you like you assume she does, I mean- actions do speak louder then words.. right?

When Caitlyn eventually arrives, coming in through your window because due to her status, nobody really knows about your 'relationship'- well your dog knows but he doesnt count.

"Hey Princess" she hugs and kisses you softly, hiding something behind her back "Hey Cait.." you say awkwardly, mind still dwelling on how she might not love you "Oh Princess? what's wrong?" she places your surprise down on your bed and hugs you comfortingly. Your lip starts to quiver "I-- I feel like m' crazy because" you hesitate, she rubs your back and traces shapes into your side "hey you can tell me anything you know me.." Cait leads you to her bed and continues to comfort you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear "Caitlyn do you really love me?" you whisper, nervous--obviously her breath hitches “P—please let me figure it out” you tear up and she lays with you on your bed “Princess why would you ask me that? Of course I love you” you look away from her “Then why don't I feel it?” she struggles to answer you "y/n you know its hard for m--" "yeah well its hard for me too Cait! You have to tell her!" you argue before she can even start on her spiel again "Caitlyn she probably will disapprove but she'd put up with it! She literally has all this time! She's walked in on us cuddling so many times Cait! It is so painfully obvious that you like girls! or at least me.." you quiet down after a little bit, breathing heavily out of frustration and sadness.

Cait stays silent, she knows your right, she knows that her mother will.. reluctantly love her still, but she just doesn't understand why she cant just tell her mom outright, she always just thought that her parents would get the hint and not bother her about it but she was scared, she knew they didn't care as long as she carried out the Kiramman bloodline but she was scared that they would force her to leave you--force you out of her life. She sighs "I know I do okay? Just because I haven't doesn't mean I don't love you--" "you love me..?" she sees even more tears welling up in your eyes moving to wipe them before they can even fall "why would I not?" you feel gentle kisses being pressed all over your face, as well as Cait mumbling 'perfect' over and over again

with a huff you pull away "Cait, who was it that said a white wall may seem empty" you take a breath and Cait plays with your hair "But its ready to be filler, and in its readiness needs nothing, it stands complete" you finish "hm.. whoever it was is right, just because something seems empty doesn't mean its not complete" you giggle at her cluelessness "It was you Cait.. you told me that strange poem but it makes me wonder, if your ready, ready to be happy with me" you look into her eyes, her pupils dilated as she stares back with love "I'm ready Princess,..." without hesitation you push your soft lips against hers, your strawberry chap stick mixing with her vanilla "tomorrow, I promise I'll do it tomorrow" she says a bit breathlessly as she lets go of the kiss "Pinky promise" you childishly stick your pinky finger to her and she intertwines the two and locks it in with your thumbs touching, she then kisses your hand "Pinky promise"

--

The very next day, Cait fulfilled her promise and snuck you into her house, she wanted you to officially meet her parents, as her girlfriend :)

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Guys i miss arcane :(

but omg the caitvi sesbian lex was so goooddd, expect 18+ hcs coming soon, theyre probably gonna come out before the change series ends tbh sorrry :(((

🐮 👦🏾soon.......

[pupcor3]

The airs gone cold.

Content warning ⚠️

Smut - monster fucking - werewolf!vander - knotting - rough fuck - size kink - breeding?? -slow burn - aftercare ❤️-pussy licking-

Ever since you've gotten news about Vander or Warwrick you've seen what he's become, a big hairy monster that smells blood more than a mile away. You haven't seen it in real life, just in the news you see everyday.

------------------------------------

As you're strolling through the under city keeping your guard up looking around seeing the last drop abandoned not knowing where else to go to get away from the people you break in.

As you get in you trip and fall,sighing.. you get yourself up and sit on a stool taking in the scent remembering the old times with Vander.. oh how you missed him you missed his touch, the smoke smell, his big arms.. oh how you missed him.. you lay your head on the bar closing your eyes...but you feel a drop on your leg,

You open your eyes and see that you have blood on your leg probably from when you tripped and fell and hit your face first..

You get up and wipe your nose with your sleeve from your ragged down hoodie you got from Vander it had some burns on it but that's all the damage it has.

.....

Then all of a sudden you hear footsteps.. you get up and go behind the bar and cover your nose from the dust so you don't sneeze.. then you hear growling and sniffing coming from the front door of the last drop.

It tries to open the door manually but it can't do it barges in making a loud bang. You try your best to not sneeze to uncover your blow. You sneak your head up from the bar and see.. it can't be.. it's WARRICK?....

You gasp and he turns his head around but you hide your head quickly before he can see you.. he growls softly and walks over to the bar where you can hear the footsteps from the beast. He sniffs and catches your blood scent, you pray to the gods that he doesn't do anything.. but it doesn't work no matter what he's caught on your scent. He growls and puts his arm over the bar and grabs your leg and yanks it from under the bar

Your met with Warwick's face his eyes land on your smeared blood from your nose bleed and licks it.

He growled softly and puts you over his shoulder and you felt the fur and muscles on him and he brings you to the back of the bar where the hound sleeps. He throws you on the bed and crawls on the bed like a lion stalking it's prey.. you cant help but like it ..?.

He catches a scent and puts his muzzle on your private part and smells the wetness on your pussy he growls softly and crawls the pants off and smells it even harder.. he spreads your legs and presses his snout on your pussy and his snout is warm.. you grind on it and he growls softly almost like he's telling you 'don't move..' he slowly lets his tongue out and licks your clit, you moan a bit and he makes purr sound and he keeps on sucking and licking on your clit putting his tongue in your vagina going in... And out.. in and out ... You can hear the slurping from him eating you out like his last meal... You grind yourself on it almost seeing stars..

But he brings his tongue out and takes off your hoodie and groping your breasts licking your nipples and you moan from his tongue but as your focused on him licking your breasts you hear the unzipping of pants and he stops licking your breasts letting his rod out in the open letting it rest on your pussy..

He looks at you for a yes and you nod.. he slowly pushes it in stretching you out holding your mouth so your don't scream from the pain and the good stretch.

He slowly pushes in and you can feel him in your stomach... He slowly takes it out and goes out and slowly goes in.. a few seconds later he's going rough.. "S-shit.. V.!...V-Vander!.." you moan out as he keeps fucking you rough like a man who's never had sex in his life..

You feel your high coming you arch your back clawing at his back "f-fuck!!.. I'm cuming...!" You moan out and cum on his dick..

But he's not slowing down.. he keeps on going and going making you moan loud.. you worry that people are gonna hear you, but Vander? He couldn't care less.. he leans in for a sloppy kiss feeling his teeth and yourself from when he was licking your pussy both of you moan in the kiss

You can feel him getting close cause of the signs like grunting and groaning making a couple of moans in the way.. he slams inside of you not quitting and he slams in you letting his cum not getting a single drip go to waste wanting to see you as a mother caring his pups....

He keeps on going slamming in and out while your feeling the cum run down your pussy getting sticky from the cum...

You can feel your second high coming you grip his muscles rolling your eyes to the back of your head and you feel like you're seeing stars.. cumming on his dick again.. you moan out a little 'shit...'

He keeps on fucking.. you can feel his second and last high coming getting sloppy and more slowly and he slowly pushes all his cum in you... Letting his cum fill you up.. you can feel the cum filling you up as you calm down and he knots inside you..

He gently lays down on the bed and lets you lay on his chest feeling his eyes slowly close as all that comes up to him making him and you feel exhausted.. you can feel some cum running down your thighs but you don't worry .. there's plenty of that in you..

You slowly drift off slowly falling asleep in warmth knowing you have your Vander back..

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Well I'm back from a break.. more things coming your way !! <3 it's been a long time I'm I'm HORNYY THEN EVER EHHEHEHEHEH 🫶🏻🫶🏻😝 I'm so glad to be back!! Love you guys !! Reposts and likes and comments are appreciated!!! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)🩷🩷

[housewarningparty]

in mourning tat my saturday ritual is over so dropping by to share random lore about the current lol/lor version of Vi (shes pathetic) to cope further:

genuinely kind of a fucking loser LMFAO. she has a dig she makes at jayce being a lab rat in the cardgame, and he basically just counters being like "WOW YOU FINALLY GOT A FUCKING JOB HUH"

theres a little yordle dude, veteran investigator, in lor whose lines basically indicate that one of his job roles is "try to get vi to actually do her work and keep her out of trouble". he literally threatens to report her to caitlyn if she keeps fucking around and vi is just like 'but sheriff cupcake cant be mad at me!!!' in that 'im just a little guy' tone

she immediately gets mad when another enforcer card is like "i have orders for you from the sheriff". god forbid her girlfriend make her actually do her job

one of her 'entering the field' lines in lor is from league ("im doing this my way"). cait, if on the field already, responds with the most exasperated "WE are doing this OUR way" like. she is sooo over her shit

any time jinx is played on either enemy or ally side, she gets so angry its so funny. shes so pissed her sister is there she is sooo annoyed. patrol warden is another enforcer card (where jinx has clearly vandalized their splash art) and when they tell vi there's been a vandalism at the docks, shes SO MAD because its jinx ("WHY THAT LITTLE-").

to say nothing of her "EVERYTHING REMINDS ME OF HERRR (eats cupcakes on the ground sobbing)" joke line they added in her brawler skin in lol. she is such a fucking loser. my god

like, modern Game Vi has the exact same energy as "your lesbian friend's loser GF who she very graciously gets a job at the same place as her, except now half of her time is spent trying to keep her GF from getting fired." she has all the energy of 'im just here bc my gf is here and sometimes i get to punch bad guys.' its such a funny direction for her that shes absolutely not good at anything besides the punching part of her job (and the repariing hextech per her old lore, but thats it). im coping so hard right now im coping im coping i love Vi LegOfLeg

This is so funny, I love all of this. Arcane Vi is such a lightning rod for torture and despair which is certainly entertaining in its own way but this also seems like such her vibe. She deserves to be a hot slacker trophy butch for Caitlyn that everyone else puts up with and/or mildly resents bc of the obvious favoritism going on

Also "WE are doing this OUR way" is so fucking funny.

[dayurno]

this is somewhat of a vent post & something i said i would not do again but has been plaguing me enough that i think getting it out might feel better. so. has anydoggy else been. Baffled and upset by nora sakavic’s refusal to speak on how terribly aftg has treated its characters of color? with the author of the series coming back with a new book and starting up on her online activity again, and questions of what she’d change about aftg bubbling up, it’s particularly glaring to me that we are all playing this very long game of pretend where we ignore how badly the non-white cast has been treated & her lack of thoughts on it

and i understand not wanting to bring up nicky and thea because people pick on her for it. i’m not trying to discredit nora sakavic’s terrible history of getting harrassed online by aftg fans. but i think it is very cynical, and it is very juvenile, and most of all very cruel, that she gets to ignore the very real ways the books have set up these characters to be hated. i think it’s obvious why the characters who get the most hate are the only canonical characters of color, and i think we do not get to treat this like a deliberate decision on the fandom’s part when the books have put these same characters in degrading and embarrassing and terrible positions in the first place. aftg is not a story about nice characters with clean pasts, but there is a very specific nastiness to the only characters of color being a brown man who sexually harasses and later assaults the main character, a black woman whose only scene is her lashing out at her love interest after being ignored for the first two books, and the japanese villain who gets maybe two lines of complexity before he goes back to being a terrible person. the white cast, in comparison, while not at all free from flaws, are never shown to commit mindless evil; all of their actions are ultimately justified. the book goes out of its way to give them concession after concession. we know exactly who to side with, because aftg tells us who these people are. does nicky’s assault ever get addressed in the books? does riko’s reasoning to be the way that he is ever gets more than briefly aluded to? is thea reserved even a shred of humanity or grace in her one scene?

anyway. it’s been years of talking about this and the fandom has been constantly hostile to criticism in this regard, and more recently any criticism at all, and it’s Grating to be on the other side of this discussion. it’s exhausting to know that in ten years we do not get even an acknowledgment besides the author saying she will not answer questions about nicky and thea anymore. it’s upsetting and it’s ugly and i wish no one had to talk about this again, but we do because what i thought was common sense has been washed away by a sudden influx of no-nuance adoration for the trilogy. basically i hope we all explode

[blusandbirds]

eli moskowitz - "am i making you feel sick?"

[ganondoodle]

(idk if anyone wants to keep hearing my opinions on totk book stuff but-)

apparently it says that rauru DID have kids, multiple even, which yeah... is kinda necessary for zelda to even be connected to them so much so that sonia can SENSE a blood connection (which, even with all the excuses with magic, is just a little too far for me to suspend my disbelief bc its over, OVER, ten thousand years worth of generations that seperate her from them that one lil touch of the hand can sense that (feels more like an attempt to make you care about them or .. see them as zeldas "better" parents just bc they exchange a few nice words, i never got the feeling they were 'better' parents and its also kinda disrespectful to her actual parents, like sure rhoam wasnt the best but i wouldnt call rauru better just bc he was polite)- i could see maybe the light power of hylia or sth but since its the coolest dude that ever lived rauru now that had it which still doesnt make sense and makes me unreasonably annoyed and she can sense BOTH of their powers in her? nah) the fact theres NOTHING about them in the game itself is just so ... no way they planned any of this

i dont think theres anything they can do or say that wont make be believe they either

are making it up alla 'fix it in post' mentality trying to hastily explain stuff the game never bothers to do to try and appease fans or let it appear as if they thought about it at all

something went really REALLY wrong during development, which kinda seems likely given how the game turned out (im sorry i cannot let go, its not just the writing, the game design too and how little was changed in the map while being so damn expensive, i dont know how people dont feel scammed q_q)

given that they (allegedly) spent the last entire year of development on polish (where??? where????? huh??? like it would make it more understandable (EXCEPT for the price) if there was alot of trouble, which was also bc it got delayed and ... turned out like this, but they dont want to say it, especially given their reputation, with that quote i have heard way too many times 'a delayed game blah blah') i just??

are they just gonna go and do it like they did with kashiwa (kass)? "they uuuh where flying around the whole time ony cool sonau tech maschines, you just dont see or hear from them ooooorrr they were uuuuh out of the country at the time" (sending invitations to other continents to join their glorious kingdom ;) )

(bet they are also gonna say they did all the stuff like ... moving the shrines around (lol?) and lifting the islands up into the sky- which is still weird bc ... didnt they also say they were living in the sky before coming to the surface?? so where?? did they park all their islands on the surface and the mystery kids had the keys so they had to repark them back into the sky after they returned off camera?? xD also why are the islands so different as an environment if they where from the surface? like even the STONE up there is different- and if they were first in the sky then on the surface and the nback in the sky .. why is there not a single yellow tree or grass in the past- you cant really argue that it changed bc they were up there so long bc .. nothing else changed, the suddendly and totally always there sonau buildings are largely in prime condition, only some slightly moldy, and what we see of the glorious past looks barely any different from the present, aside from like ... some standard trees shuffled, no castle yet and that glowy uwu filter DESPITE that stupidly long time frame between it)

[thedisablednaturalist]

Tw for weight loss mention

The whole exercise will cure your disability thing is a fucking joke. Yes exercise is beneficial for your health, but only if you aren't already on shaky foundations. You need to be on a treatment plan that WORKS before going into the maintenance phase. You wouldn't do regular maintenance on a broken item, you'd work on getting it up and running first. And maybe it would even need specialized maintenance afterwards if it's especially fragile.

I have fibromyalgia and acute degenerative disc disease. My immune system attacks my nerves and discs in my spine are slowly calcifying and causing the bones to constrict and damage my nerves (i think thats how it works). I have days where it feels like my body is on fire from nerve pain and days where it feels like my spine is about to rip from my back. And days where I have both (like today!). I get numbness in my hands and feet. I have horrible migraines. I can no longer walk unaided more than maybe 5 minutes without severe pain. I have something wrong with my knees and hips but the doctors don't know what yet.

You'd think I live an obviously seditary lifestyle correct?

Hell no.

I walk aided on average 6 miles a day over difficult terrain OUTSIDE of regular activity almost everyday. My legs are muscular and strong. I get my heart rate up and a good sweat, like all the gym rats swear on. I am often doing physical labor such as weeding, digging, sample collecting, pruning trees etc.

I'm not saying this to make other disabled people feel bad or prove that they can do anything if they just tried harder. This is an extremely painful lifestyle I've chosen that takes a lot of lifestyle management AND BOUNDARIES to keep up with the work. I also have an extremely forgiving boss who is also physically disabled and knows what I'm going through (deciding between your passion and your health and having to do so each and every day) No one should ever be expected to do what I do. I'm not even sure if I should be doing this myself.

This is to prove that exercise? Has not cured me. My muscles are strong but still hurt as if they're broken and I have to take more breaks than my coworker. I am constantly getting out of breath and I flare up regularly if I'm not careful. I am in excellent physical condition outside of my disabilities. I go to different doctors several times a month to get checked out.

I previously went through a diet program and lost a lot of weight (basically starving myself and got off my depression meds which cause weight gain but are also the only ones that work) and guess what? That didn't do shit either!!! I still felt horrible!!! I've since gained back the weight anyway after switching to focusing on adding more nutrient dense foods than taking stuff away from my diet (also muscle weighs more than fat, and fat helps cushion my aching joints and spine).

The muscle doesn't do shit for my disabilities outside of maybe some stability. Exercising everyday doesn't make the pain go away. Without my medications and aids and nutrition plans and steroid injections and spinal adjustments and physical therapy (that takes my fibro and spine into account) and alternative work methods I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I DO. Exercise alone is like trying to make a car run with no oil. Yes it'll go but it'll get more and more damaged till it can't and will need its entire engine replaced!

And yet I see new doctors and they look at me and the first thing out of their mouths is do I exercise? I should try doing a little every day :) and then i fucking blow their minds when I tell them about my job. No longer can they use that fucking cop out on me. I've been through this rodeo. Ive tried their suggestions. If you are in pain and nothing is helping? Exercise ain't going to do SHIT. You need to get to a point where you can move without severe pain first (if that's even possible). Then and only then should you consider implementing regular exercise if you can. Also weight loss talk is a red flag and a cop out. They made me lose 50+ lbs before they would look into the reasons behind my pain. Weight loss did nothing for me and exacerbated my pain.

I am living proof that all that shit is a lie and a cop out. That is the point of this post. I cannot believe people with serious medical conditions are being forced to put their bodies through extreme duress just to be believed. You are not disabled because of laziness or because you sit a lot. Plenty of people live seditary lifestyles and do not live in constant excruciating pain (they may develop disabilities later in life due to this however, and should be doing preventative exercises to maintain their health)

Please, share my story with doctors. Use me as an example. I am proof that "exercise first treat later" does not work. I should not have had to wait years to have my pain validated. I'd rather hundreds of fakers get (what? A blood test? An MRI?) than one chronically ill person get told to try yoga and go away by a doctor.

[skunkes]

if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

[kindaorangey]

i ALSO love the loumand argument in 2×05 because we get book spoilers without it really being telegraphed to the audience, cuz it's just lost in the midst of these two spitting acid at each other. why does louis talk about armand being forced into celibacy? why does louis mention armand chopping his hands off? tune in next season to find out! it feels like peering through the veil.

[icewindandboringhorror]

examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk

[britneyshakespeare]

you: nicholas alexander chavez, the actor from ryan murphy's recent work

me, a mama's girl and daytime tv viewer:

[martyrbat]

habeas corpus – detective comics #1086

(ID in alt!)

[szappan]

university.. university leave me alone

[fleshdyk3]

god i fucking hate my dad