#(( and you cant do anything about it or tell where it is!

[writingwisterias]

Following on from previous Leon Eras, how do you think all the different Leon Eras would react to a best friend or S/O that's been there when he's seen Ada and knows how he feels about her, so they're always feeling a little bit inadequate? Like there's always that little voice in the back of their mind telling them that they're not good enough for Leon and that they'll never be as good as her? Especially for the best friend who's secretly in love with him, they probably never said anything earlier because of their insecurities, I imagine that RE4R Leon would almost pretend not to see it because he's torn between how he feels but DI Leon would be the kind to keep you locked in a cuddle until you feel a little bit better about yourself

Hi Anon!

So I do think this is a really interesting idea especially since how Leon reacts to ada in the game is important to his character's development! However this is no hate on ada because I love her and would do anything she asked me to 👀

Warnings: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Trauma, insecurities, slight angst

GN!Reader

RE2:

This is where Ada becomes a big impact in his life and how he would view/trust people in general

So if you started dating him after the events of raccoon City I would say it can be hard to deal with

Not only his insecurities about your loyalty would feed into the relationship, he's constantly watching for underlying meanings in your words

But also he's just generally guilty in what happened at the end

I don't think he would be hung up on the kiss they shared, but I do think how he reacts to people and forming a trusting bond when they ask him to do things would be difficult.

Because he doesn't see her after the events of raccoon City until Spain I don't think seeing her would cause a problem to you.

Just the trauma she added to the night unintentionally

RE4R:

Now we enter more interesting territory where their relationship is now complicated

If you are dating him whilst he goes to span the first thing he does is tell you he saw her

He's going to be very open about it and would probably tell you everything she did

I think he admires her in her constant watching and protective nature over him whenever she knows it or not

That being said I do think adding you into the mixture of their complicated affection would cause some difficulties

He's trying desperately to be respectful over your feelings but also he has a lot of questions for Ada he wants answering

I think he would tip toe around the line of knowing it's wrong but purely so he can get the closure he needs

He's willing to take the chance that you would be understanding when he does eventually tell you

Infinite Darkness:

We don't actually see Leon and Ada interact in this Era of him

So if there is any discourse about it, I would say it's because he keeps mentioning her

Maybe he doesn't mean to or he doesn't understand what he is doing but he's constantly talking to you about her

I doubt it's all praise, nor would it be about her looks but the constant mention of her name would eventually get to you

If you mention it he would probably be upset because she is a large part of her life but he would get over it I'm sure

Damnation:

Okay this is where things begin to complicate with their relationship and you

There is that one line in the film where it suggests that they did have a night together

I don't think he would hold that over your head in anyway. He's not comparing you to her at all

But you are

Let's say you are his partner and joined him on this mission, you are a witness to the banter and cant help but feel a bit jealous

Like she's everything you aren't in your own eyes

I think he would get a bit frustrated with how you are taking it and the fact you never seem to understand that he only cares about you

You can't blame him, it's silly to be jealous he wouldn't be with you if he wants her

But seeing how he reacts to her and their history does make you sad

RE6:

This is the main game we see their relationship almost end but also left open

So we will replace you with Helena because it's more interesting.

It turns the situations into he prioritized her safety over yours even though he is in a relationship with you.

He doesn't actually realize what he's done until after the events of the game and he has a lot to make up for

I think it would take him a while to realize as well like he's not going to understand why you are upset straight away

Not because he's dumb but because in his head she needed more help

He would get frustrated with your reaction and not really understand where you are coming from because nothing happened. There was no kiss or anything

It ended with a goodbye and a promise to maybe see each other again soon.

And that's what angers you, until he figures that out it would be rocky whenever she gets mentioned

Vendetta:

Again we don't see Ada interact with Leon in this so if there is an issue it's because he's bringing her up

And of course he will...he's drunk and hates the world

So I don't think he would bring her up in a negative way so when you do get touchy about her- he's confused

I think he would dismiss your concerns because he's literally not said a good thing

It's not until you explain it to him that he understands it sounds like he's still hung up on her

So he would make an effort to show you that's not the case, whenever that's literally saying it during sex

I'm talking like major praise towards you..he would never say her name during that time but imply that you are better

It does work sort of because he is worshipping you but is also doing it on the base of hating her

Eventually he would get distracted by something else to hate on and it wouldn't be a problem

Death Island:

He's not bringing her up as she's part of his past at all

But let's say you are both out n about and he catches the eye of someone that looks similar to her

He then has to explain it to you because he freezes and double takes

The explanation of the complicated history would make it difficult for you because what do you mean this woman has been through almost every important event of his life

Very quick to reassure you he's not seen her in years nor does he want to

He's very content with how his life has turned out and doesn't want you to think otherwise

He would understand if you need constant reassurance over the topic he's more mature so he understands how the situation can be seen

[anyothercomments]

“S3 rayla would never” “arc 1 raylum would never have turned out like this”

Arc 2 raylum were what- 14 yrs old? S7 raylum r 16/17 ? Ur telling me that you think that two teenagers who are going to experience more trauma than most adults have to face, break up for 2ish years, go through another serving of trauma and get back together are gonna act the exact same way? Are going to interact the exact same way with each other and their loved ones? Are going to have the exact same values and insecurities?

S1 rayla hated her parents for abandoning the dragon queen, had a strained relationship with runaan where her self worth was constantly reliant on his approval, had never left xadia before and was convinced she was meant to be an assasin

S7 rayla has mourned 2 of her parents twice, one of them once. Has had to choose which to keep living. Has been banished from her home for 2 years. Banished herself from society for 1 ish year. Has killed a person. Has met humans. Has fought in wars.

S1 callum had like 3 friend, was constantly belittled, had 0 self esteem and lived an extremely sheltered life, feeling like an imposter the entire time as the orphan step prince.

S7 callum has found magic and rayla and wouldnt sacrifice them for anything - his relationship with both things sometimes manifests in unhealthy ways and he ends up selfishly prioritising the wrong thing some times but he’s a 17 yr old boy so that’s to be expected. He had an actual support system and whilst he still struggles with his self esteem, he’s overcome a lot of his imposter syndrome.

(Also may i just say why is everyone so anti callum wanting kids? Dude says a hypothetical about how interracial babies turn out differently and all of a sudden his character’s been ruined? So what if he actually wanted 10 kids? Doesnt mean he and rayla cant still both be the best mage and warrior the continent has ever seen before or whilst they have kids? )

And you mean to tell me you expect s7 rayla to have the exact same fears and insecurities as s1 rayla? To interact with her loved ones in the same way? To prioritise them the same? She has changed- for better or for worse. It’s ok to disagree with the way they wrote her but it gets on my nerves when people say “oh she wouldnt do that in s3”.

You mean to tell me that as a teen you never prioritised friends over family? You were perfectly emotionally adjusted and never made selfish decisions that meant you let a sibling down? That callum’s all of a sudden irredeemably evil because he decided to support rayla when he really should’ve stayed and helped ezran work through his emotions?

You mean to tell me that 17 year old you adamantly stands by all of your actions at 14 and has the exact same relationships with all your most important people? Cus if you do you were either a very emotionally mature 14 yr old or you were an incredibly immature 17 year old.

All of that to say that holding arc 2 raylum to arc 1 rayllum standards is just weird to me. They’ve both changed- for better or for worse- and if they had the exact same relationship after all that, then what was the point in making an arc 2? And i hope that their relationship develops in arc 3 as well.

[letterboxd-warrior]

Getting sold to The Reservoir Dogs

It was one sunny afternoon in California. Chilling in your bedroom you hear a knock on the door, you dont bother to get up and open it because your mum will get it. You hear some men down stairs and think to yourself, who on earth are they? You decide to leave your bedroom to see who these people are.

When you get downstairs you see 6 men, one stuck out to you a guy in a brightly coloured nike windbreaker the rest all wore suits. "Hi honey theres some people here id like you to meet," you feel dread why does my mum want me to meet these people?

They all introduce themselves to you anyway, the guy in the bright windbreaker introduces himself as eddie, the guy next to him says his name is mr blonde but most people call him hot sauce, they next guy says his name is mr brown (he has dreamy eyes and a beautiful smile) the next guy says his name is mr pink, you look at his moustache intensely and he gives you a funny look. Then the guy next to him introduces himself and says hes mr orange, then the older man introduces himself with a lovely smile and compliments your outfit.

You then ask your mum, "Who are these people? " "i have sold you to them i cant be putting up with you anymore, i have packed your bags and i dont want to hear a word from you, not even a goodbye." She sounds really angry and you feel very upset, why has she done this, these people could be anybody, they could be murderers for all i know or even michael madsen hot sauce owners!! You decide to comply with your mother you dont say anything but grab your suitcase, then mr white slowly takes the suitcase away from you, "let me do that for you sweetheart. " After that Mr brown can see your abit upset and tries to comfort you "Have you ever listened to madonna, becauss like i-i love her!! She is a star, a lucky star!!" It makes you giggle how enthusiastic he is, "Of course ive heard of madonna she one of my favourites."

By time you and brown where talking youre already at the car ready to go, mr white drives and you sit between mr pink and mr orange. Eddie decides to ask you something,"Dear why dont you tell us something about yourself?" "Well im a cali girl born and raised, i love pumpkin spice lattes❤🧡 and cocain- eddie interrupts you "Me too!!" "Omg we're twinning anyways thats all you really need to know about me and that i love music and movies!"

You arrive at your destination mr pink opens the door for you and you thank him and hold his hand, he looks taken aback when you do this but doesnt complain he likes how warm it makes him feel inside.

Pt2 soon??

[transpathfinder]

HELLO, LICH DEFENDERS! thank you for responding, there're a lot so i'm just gonna file responses here to look at easier when i search for it, you do not have to respond to my replies, no pressure :}

***

@boeing-787 said: hi, it’s me. i romanced emmrich first and i chose the lich path. when the stats got released and people were talking abt the lich choice being like, i think was it 27% of people picked? and how those people cant be trusted? like shuuuuuuut uuuuuuuuuuup

that's one of the things i got soo shocked by, when those stats were released and i went to look at it once i completed the game.. i was sure it would be a closer match between the two. i think it really boils down to many emmrichmancers finding that option gross when it's really just a choice he has been working towards all his life? i feel there's a lot of infantalising him for his decision and want, when he's a grown ass man in his 50s who has known and studied this for years

*

@13skeletons said: i chose lich first! and then played through the ending again to see the other route. I like Manfred, but the lich route is soooo good and so unique. (and it’s the skeleton sex route eheheehheh). anyway i follow someone who has written some really good pro lich route posts. let me find a link / ok here’s one meta: tumblr.com/veilkee… and that person has a few about his lich route in its tags. it actually changed its pfp to lich!emmrich when all the anti lich discourse got too irritating. / also the idea of him finding another partner and being mad about it is so fucking laughable to me. like, he seriously expects you to dump him before he goes through the rites. he tries to hide his face from you during the final romance scene. do these people really think he’d ever open up to someone again? He’s afraid he’ll mourn you forever!!!!! Sorry I’m not normal about him. His lich route is some of the most tragically romantic shit bioware has ever given us / also. also. acting like it’s selfish to accept that death is a part of life, even for spirits? uhhhh (just remembered a post that acted like he couldn’t possibly still love rook afterwards because his heart is gone. love is stored in the blood pump, you see.)

thank you for the link from other lichmancers, that's good, gonna check it out in a bit. and yesss i've seen that post you mentioned too i think about like... how emmrich can't possibly feel anymore, be it love or compassion or whatever for rook and others. and i think this is flat out a false reading of the game when they literally tell you he holds all his same opinions and feelings, just without the flesh?? they're acting like lichdom steals away your soul or something to become a mechanical unfeeling being

the thing about being selfish about manfred is sooo crazy to me cos i felt the opposite of what most people who bring back manfred felt in that it's emmrich accepting a spirit's death! after being bright and brilliant and sacrificing himself for a mission! if anything, blindly bringing manfred back is what makes it sound like emmrich is not ready to accept death as a part of life

*

@corvidexoskeleton said: I didn’t like the lich path at first tbh, but when i did my second playthrough and romanced him, i did the lich path, and now ive actually changed my opinion on it. I find it extremely interesting and compelling, but so many people are too caught up in bitching about it 😭😭😭

i see! yes i totally get how the first playthrough may make an emmrichmancer pick the non-lich route, but it really is a compelling arc for him as a character with purpose, using his skills and interest. even in the romance section, there's so much left. i've seen so many posts bitching about it i got so annoyed at my recced stuff lol like please stop acting like it's some disgusting option to choose damn

*

amalstra said: I hate people saying it’s a cop-out and running from his fear of death….like did you miss the part where he literally has to DIE to become a lich? How is that not facing it? On top of that he has to face manfreds death so…ya hes facing it.

exactlyyyyy i reeeeally don't get that reasoning cos it's straight up lying about what the game is trying to tell you. like what do u mean he's afraid and not facing it.. that's literally the opposite of what it means to becoming a lich. he perfectly understands he's gonna outlive people he loves, and he accepts death, but he stands for a greater cause and what he deems important in his culture??? if fans are just sad manfred died and want him back they should just admit that lmafafo instead of coming up with shit that's not true

*

@ianuarius said: Love the Lich route as much as the Mortal one, personally. As it is, I enjoy it, though I do worry about how his character would grapple and handle with the death of those beloved by him. There’s nice touches, ofc, such as the dialogue with him and Harding about how she may be immortal now in some fashion and they can be friends forever. But I do think how the other backgrounds outside MW are handling that he is functionally immortal and that they do not have this option in the future. / Unless, I suppose the Lich Lords aren’t all specifically of the MW? And may offer them the chance with some convincing? But we know so little of them, currently. And, for Emmrich, I think that while he may have passed through death, he doesn’t yet quite deal with his fear of death but transfer it to Rook. Fears like that aren’t so easy to break, so I think it does just find a different form to take. If not taken care of, properly, I can see his love becoming unhealthy and toxic, which is… yeah. / But, on the other hand, he also has potential to surpass it with help and time. And, I just, currently wonder what all he’s meant to do and more as a Lich Lord other than broadly protect the order of things. Lots of grand promises in this route that makes me wonder what else may be revealed about these guys.

hmmm i see... i guess i don't think of it as a bad thing, that he has to watch those he loves die, the same way i don't think it's unhealthy or toxic with his love. but that's mostly cos i don't see the scenario of someone you love dying in their full age as something to fight or rage against, and iirc there's dialogue with lucanis where he's happy to constantly learn and experience new things, but that's not without to say he won't mourn those who pass on before him. i suppose i see him as a character who is interested and awash with experiencing new things, people, feelings, that lichdom isn't something i see for him as tragic, but freeing.

but yeeess i think there's a lot to explore with and without the mourn watch background with this. i don't think the game gives enough with this choice, but then it's like you said it's a route less travelled and we don't know much about it yet. will be nice to get some meaty info about these lich lords and their general lifestyles

*

@trickster-in-training said: My 1st romance with him was the non-lich path, and I thought it was very sweet! My next Rook will be a MW lich romancer. I’m excited to see how it plays out. I don’t think there’s a “right” or “wrong” choice, just different flavors of an experience.

niceee, i hope you have fun with the lich route, especially with a mw!rook, i think it could open up a lot of dialogue or at least understanding of his choices due to shared culture and affections. same, i really don't see it as good/bad, but i do get the feeling a lot of fandom sees the lich route as... less than, surely, because they're uncomfortable with concepts of death and immortality in romance.

okay in my esteemed authority as a lucanismancer acknowledging we have the most annoying fanbase, it seems the second most annoying fanbase are emmrichmancers who are soo anti-lichdom. i liked a few emmrich romance posts and then tumblr was reccing so many other posts by those who hate the idea of him being a lich, calling it selfish or disgusting and being mad he'll outlive rook, potentially finding another partner, etc, when of course, lichdom is his lifelong dream and has a lot of themes of nobleness in service, archiving, respecting, and protecting culture, in nevarra

there must be emmrichmancers who chose the lichdom path romance, i know it. i wish they were more outspoken (or maybe i just haven't seen any on my dash) and i'd love to see their ideas more on this love. it's the choice i chose for him, and found it very fulfilling and whole. but almost all emmrichmancers i've seen tumblr reccing me sound childish as f about it being the ''bad'' choice, getting their undies in a twist about it and they're the ones more vocal about it when lich!emmrich is so rich with love, respect, and faith, in the concepts history, the dead, knowledge.. there's a sacred reverence to it that blind childish lichdom haters do not seem to want to engage in conversation with i'm just irritated every time i see some bs on my dash

[tenderjock]

I’m with you, my love The lights shining through on you Yes, I’m with you, my love It’s the morning and just we two

[dayurno]

this is somewhat of a vent post & something i said i would not do again but has been plaguing me enough that i think getting it out might feel better. so. has anydoggy else been. Baffled and upset by nora sakavic’s refusal to speak on how terribly aftg has treated its characters of color? with the author of the series coming back with a new book and starting up on her online activity again, and questions of what she’d change about aftg bubbling up, it’s particularly glaring to me that we are all playing this very long game of pretend where we ignore how badly the non-white cast has been treated & her lack of thoughts on it

and i understand not wanting to bring up nicky and thea because people pick on her for it. i’m not trying to discredit nora sakavic’s terrible history of getting harrassed online by aftg fans. but i think it is very cynical, and it is very juvenile, and most of all very cruel, that she gets to ignore the very real ways the books have set up these characters to be hated. i think it’s obvious why the characters who get the most hate are the only canonical characters of color, and i think we do not get to treat this like a deliberate decision on the fandom’s part when the books have put these same characters in degrading and embarrassing and terrible positions in the first place. aftg is not a story about nice characters with clean pasts, but there is a very specific nastiness to the only characters of color being a brown man who sexually harasses and later assaults the main character, a black woman whose only scene is her lashing out at her love interest after being ignored for the first two books, and the japanese villain who gets maybe two lines of complexity before he goes back to being a terrible person. the white cast, in comparison, while not at all free from flaws, are never shown to commit mindless evil; all of their actions are ultimately justified. the book goes out of its way to give them concession after concession. we know exactly who to side with, because aftg tells us who these people are. does nicky’s assault ever get addressed in the books? does riko’s reasoning to be the way that he is ever gets more than briefly aluded to? is thea reserved even a shred of humanity or grace in her one scene?

anyway. it’s been years of talking about this and the fandom has been constantly hostile to criticism in this regard, and more recently any criticism at all, and it’s Grating to be on the other side of this discussion. it’s exhausting to know that in ten years we do not get even an acknowledgment besides the author saying she will not answer questions about nicky and thea anymore. it’s upsetting and it’s ugly and i wish no one had to talk about this again, but we do because what i thought was common sense has been washed away by a sudden influx of no-nuance adoration for the trilogy. basically i hope we all explode

[blusandbirds]

eli moskowitz - "am i making you feel sick?"

[gender-trash]

step 3.5: one of the chunks of moulding previously contained a non-working power outlet. it's got about 120 millivolts across it, which is just large and consistent enough i don't thiiink it's a parasitic from nearby wiring? but both my dad (electrical engineer) and i were baffled. just to be safe, cut and electrical-tape the wires and tuck them down into the crawlspace where they hopefully can't do any harm.

(i didn't take a picture of this but just imagine a power outlet that does not work)

step 3.75: remove or cut off all the nails in the removed moulding strips so they don't hurt anyone. stack up the moulding in the living room because nobody else is here and it can't get much worse

step 4: AWWW YEAHHH BABEYYY it's finally time to PULL UP THE OLD WOOD FLOOR!! i think this is actually the original 110ish-year-old floor: it's 3/4" thick tongue and groove in long planks about 3" wide, nailed through the tongue. i would have seriously considered keeping it and just refinishing but i already spent several thousand dollars on parquet and it's really banged-up soft wood (i think pine?). it looks better in photos than it does irl :p still, i'm trying to keep it mostly intact so i can save it and reuse it for something else later.

unfortunately whoever did the floor used these absolutely ridiculously large nails for some reason?? so they don't just pull out easy, oh no. this is a PROCESS. i shall spare you the description of various methods my dad and i have experimented with, but we've landed on a technique involving multiple prybars for leverage which lets us get out the nails without breaking off parts of the tongues or grooves about 80% of the time.

pulling out the first four or so rows of planks exposes a bigass hole in the subfloor. try not to think about this.

step 4.5: go over the floor with a magnet to mark out all the nail locations in advance. this works okay for about half the floor, but then the magnet starts twitching every few inches. surely even the madman who chose the above-pictured flooring nails wouldn't go THAT nuts with them, right...? unrelatedly there seem to be a lot more headless tacks floating around than should be left after the tacking strip removal, given how many times the floor has been swept since then. it's like the magnet keeps pulling them out of the cracks...

pry out some of the mystery gap-filling compound to find the WEIRD HEADLESS TACKS EMBEDDED IN IT. ???

theorize that possibly the tacks, or nail cutoffs, or whatever they are, were swept into the cracks by accident before the gaps were filled. this is annoying, but with practice they're fairly distinguishable from the powerful pull of the gigantic flooring nails so it doesn't present TOO much of a problem.

step 5 (concurrent with step 4): after the planks are removed from the floor, pull out any nails or partial nails remaining (before we landed on the current method we experimented heavily with using an oscillating multitool to cut off the nails between the floor and the subfloor), and pile up the planks in the increasingly-poorly-named living room.

you can tell this is an old, old floor because a lot of these planks are full length (slightly over 12 feet). where do you see 12-foot-long floorboards these days?? i almost feel bad cutting the long ones in half but i have nowhere dry to store wood other than the attic, i just cant maneuver 12-foot-long planks into the attic, and i cant think of anything i might possibly need to make that would be 12 feet long.

we're about halfway done removing the old flooring rn; hopefully soon i will be able to tell you about exciting things like underlayment and parquet dry-fitting but for now i shall leave you with zeezee gazing yearningly into the Forbidden Realm (full of rusty nails and plaster dust):

sorry for the relative radio silence lately i have been seizing the opportunity of a long break from work (and @combat-epistemologist and @transbionic-shieldmaiden being out of town so i can temporarily take over the entire house with my stuff) to refloor my bedroom! i have made many House Discoveries of all kinds (good, bad, neutral, baffling) and hammered my own hand twice (SO FAR). this is an exhausting process; i don't think i'm cut out for the flooring contractor lifestyle.

[ganondoodle]

(idk if anyone wants to keep hearing my opinions on totk book stuff but-)

apparently it says that rauru DID have kids, multiple even, which yeah... is kinda necessary for zelda to even be connected to them so much so that sonia can SENSE a blood connection (which, even with all the excuses with magic, is just a little too far for me to suspend my disbelief bc its over, OVER, ten thousand years worth of generations that seperate her from them that one lil touch of the hand can sense that (feels more like an attempt to make you care about them or .. see them as zeldas "better" parents just bc they exchange a few nice words, i never got the feeling they were 'better' parents and its also kinda disrespectful to her actual parents, like sure rhoam wasnt the best but i wouldnt call rauru better just bc he was polite)- i could see maybe the light power of hylia or sth but since its the coolest dude that ever lived rauru now that had it which still doesnt make sense and makes me unreasonably annoyed and she can sense BOTH of their powers in her? nah) the fact theres NOTHING about them in the game itself is just so ... no way they planned any of this

i dont think theres anything they can do or say that wont make be believe they either

are making it up alla 'fix it in post' mentality trying to hastily explain stuff the game never bothers to do to try and appease fans or let it appear as if they thought about it at all

something went really REALLY wrong during development, which kinda seems likely given how the game turned out (im sorry i cannot let go, its not just the writing, the game design too and how little was changed in the map while being so damn expensive, i dont know how people dont feel scammed q_q)

given that they (allegedly) spent the last entire year of development on polish (where??? where????? huh??? like it would make it more understandable (EXCEPT for the price) if there was alot of trouble, which was also bc it got delayed and ... turned out like this, but they dont want to say it, especially given their reputation, with that quote i have heard way too many times 'a delayed game blah blah') i just??

are they just gonna go and do it like they did with kashiwa (kass)? "they uuuh where flying around the whole time ony cool sonau tech maschines, you just dont see or hear from them ooooorrr they were uuuuh out of the country at the time" (sending invitations to other continents to join their glorious kingdom ;) )

(bet they are also gonna say they did all the stuff like ... moving the shrines around (lol?) and lifting the islands up into the sky- which is still weird bc ... didnt they also say they were living in the sky before coming to the surface?? so where?? did they park all their islands on the surface and the mystery kids had the keys so they had to repark them back into the sky after they returned off camera?? xD also why are the islands so different as an environment if they where from the surface? like even the STONE up there is different- and if they were first in the sky then on the surface and the nback in the sky .. why is there not a single yellow tree or grass in the past- you cant really argue that it changed bc they were up there so long bc .. nothing else changed, the suddendly and totally always there sonau buildings are largely in prime condition, only some slightly moldy, and what we see of the glorious past looks barely any different from the present, aside from like ... some standard trees shuffled, no castle yet and that glowy uwu filter DESPITE that stupidly long time frame between it)

[thedisablednaturalist]

Tw for weight loss mention

The whole exercise will cure your disability thing is a fucking joke. Yes exercise is beneficial for your health, but only if you aren't already on shaky foundations. You need to be on a treatment plan that WORKS before going into the maintenance phase. You wouldn't do regular maintenance on a broken item, you'd work on getting it up and running first. And maybe it would even need specialized maintenance afterwards if it's especially fragile.

I have fibromyalgia and acute degenerative disc disease. My immune system attacks my nerves and discs in my spine are slowly calcifying and causing the bones to constrict and damage my nerves (i think thats how it works). I have days where it feels like my body is on fire from nerve pain and days where it feels like my spine is about to rip from my back. And days where I have both (like today!). I get numbness in my hands and feet. I have horrible migraines. I can no longer walk unaided more than maybe 5 minutes without severe pain. I have something wrong with my knees and hips but the doctors don't know what yet.

You'd think I live an obviously seditary lifestyle correct?

Hell no.

I walk aided on average 6 miles a day over difficult terrain OUTSIDE of regular activity almost everyday. My legs are muscular and strong. I get my heart rate up and a good sweat, like all the gym rats swear on. I am often doing physical labor such as weeding, digging, sample collecting, pruning trees etc.

I'm not saying this to make other disabled people feel bad or prove that they can do anything if they just tried harder. This is an extremely painful lifestyle I've chosen that takes a lot of lifestyle management AND BOUNDARIES to keep up with the work. I also have an extremely forgiving boss who is also physically disabled and knows what I'm going through (deciding between your passion and your health and having to do so each and every day) No one should ever be expected to do what I do. I'm not even sure if I should be doing this myself.

This is to prove that exercise? Has not cured me. My muscles are strong but still hurt as if they're broken and I have to take more breaks than my coworker. I am constantly getting out of breath and I flare up regularly if I'm not careful. I am in excellent physical condition outside of my disabilities. I go to different doctors several times a month to get checked out.

I previously went through a diet program and lost a lot of weight (basically starving myself and got off my depression meds which cause weight gain but are also the only ones that work) and guess what? That didn't do shit either!!! I still felt horrible!!! I've since gained back the weight anyway after switching to focusing on adding more nutrient dense foods than taking stuff away from my diet (also muscle weighs more than fat, and fat helps cushion my aching joints and spine).

The muscle doesn't do shit for my disabilities outside of maybe some stability. Exercising everyday doesn't make the pain go away. Without my medications and aids and nutrition plans and steroid injections and spinal adjustments and physical therapy (that takes my fibro and spine into account) and alternative work methods I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I DO. Exercise alone is like trying to make a car run with no oil. Yes it'll go but it'll get more and more damaged till it can't and will need its entire engine replaced!

And yet I see new doctors and they look at me and the first thing out of their mouths is do I exercise? I should try doing a little every day :) and then i fucking blow their minds when I tell them about my job. No longer can they use that fucking cop out on me. I've been through this rodeo. Ive tried their suggestions. If you are in pain and nothing is helping? Exercise ain't going to do SHIT. You need to get to a point where you can move without severe pain first (if that's even possible). Then and only then should you consider implementing regular exercise if you can. Also weight loss talk is a red flag and a cop out. They made me lose 50+ lbs before they would look into the reasons behind my pain. Weight loss did nothing for me and exacerbated my pain.

I am living proof that all that shit is a lie and a cop out. That is the point of this post. I cannot believe people with serious medical conditions are being forced to put their bodies through extreme duress just to be believed. You are not disabled because of laziness or because you sit a lot. Plenty of people live seditary lifestyles and do not live in constant excruciating pain (they may develop disabilities later in life due to this however, and should be doing preventative exercises to maintain their health)

Please, share my story with doctors. Use me as an example. I am proof that "exercise first treat later" does not work. I should not have had to wait years to have my pain validated. I'd rather hundreds of fakers get (what? A blood test? An MRI?) than one chronically ill person get told to try yoga and go away by a doctor.

[skunkes]

if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

[kindaorangey]

i ALSO love the loumand argument in 2×05 because we get book spoilers without it really being telegraphed to the audience, cuz it's just lost in the midst of these two spitting acid at each other. why does louis talk about armand being forced into celibacy? why does louis mention armand chopping his hands off? tune in next season to find out! it feels like peering through the veil.

[icewindandboringhorror]

examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk

[britneyshakespeare]

you: nicholas alexander chavez, the actor from ryan murphy's recent work

me, a mama's girl and daytime tv viewer:

[orcelito]

So the thing about me getting more used to driving is that I have discovered that I am, in fact, a speeder. Primarily on the highway. Less so when I'm making a bunch of turns, bc turns still scare me. But me hangin out in the fast lane thru the whole highway drive and getting annoyed at 2 trucks blocking my way for 10 mins so I had to go five Under... idk going faster means less time spent in the car and I'm going straight Anyways. So like whatever lol

[martyrbat]

habeas corpus – detective comics #1086

(ID in alt!)