#(( SOBS…. HI BLACKBIRD…… ))

[mrsknowitallll]

Blackbird

Elijah “Smoke” Moore x Black Plus Size Reader

Summary: Smoke has plenty of demons, most he can’t shake, most that keep him up at night, but despite it all he loves you more than anything in the world and will go to the ends of the earth to protect you, after a bad dream that leaves him spiraling it’s your turn to protect him.

Warning - Depctions of ptsd, nightmares, trauma, post war anxiety, tremors, etc.

A/N - This been in the drafts for a minute, something short sweet and comforting for our baby smoke cause he deserves it. Also probably a few mistakes, imma fix em later.

The ghosts of Smoke's past were heavy, sometimes entirely too much for him to bare, so much so that oftentimes he felt he'd be crushed beneath the weight.

The only person that truly understood him was his brother. He saw him for exactly who he was beneath his tough exterior, every demon he possessed, every sin he wouldn't dare speak aloud, every fear he did his best to keep hidden, all the worst parts of him. Despite it all though, his brother loved him anyway.

But his brother was gone now and all that he had left was himself.

Then you came along.

It wasn't easy to let someone else in after everything that happened to him, to be vulnerable and expose them to every side, the good, the bad and the ugly, the scars, the wounds that ran deeper than anyone could have ever imagined.

But you saw all of him and decided to love him anyway just as his brother did, to care for him, to protect him.

Tonight was just one of those nights, you could always tell when it was gonna be a tough one because his demeanor changed completely, he'd grow cold, closed off. Not on purpose, it was almost second nature, an instinct he developed over time, a way to protect himself.

He was distant throughout the day, almost as if he wasn't there at all,  somewhere else entirely. He didn't speak much, didn't want to be touched  and his tremors were so bad that he could barely eat, unable to hold his utensils for long without dropping them.

You were patient with him through it all, giving him the space that he needed, letting him come to you when he felt like it.

When nightfall rolled around you were alone for most of the night, Smoke's side of the bed cold and empty.

You tossed and turned for a while, unable to fall asleep without him by your side.

Just when you had made your mind up and decided to go look for him he came through the door, heavy eyes sweeping over you, exhaustion seeping from his being.

He striped off his clothes until only boxers remained, reclaiming his spot in bed next to you and pulling you close, tucking your head under his chin and throwing an arm around your waist, a rough hand squeezing the fat of your bare thigh.

"I'm here you know... I ain't going nowhere, imma always be here." You whispered, a mantra you always repeated when he got like this, you knew that sometimes he just needed the reminder.

He stayed silent, pulling you closer and pecking your forehead.

Surprisingly he had fallen asleep first, he had to have been really exhausted because sleep didn't come easy for him. You were just happy he was getting the rest he needed.

The steady sound of his heart beat began to lull you asleep but just before you could slip out of conciousness Smoke had began stir.

At first it was slow, small mutters under his breath, head lolling from side to side.

Then began to scream, his words unintelligible as he thrashed nearly knocking you off the bed.

He was having a night terror.

You got on your feet, keeping your voice calm and steady as you kneeled beside him, calling out to your lover.

"Elijah, come on baby wake up you're having a bad dream, it's not real okay? Come back to me baby please, it's just a dream, a really bad dream." You began to tear up.

Slowly but surely he stopped, his body relaxing partially, hands still shaky, sweat beading on his forehead.

His eyes shot open and he sat up quickly beginning to sob.

You let him cry for a while, rubbing his back comfortingly, whispering sweet nothings, letting him get it all out.

"Let's go outside and get some fresh air." You spoke softly, grabbing him by the arm and leading him toward the front door.

You sat on the edge of the porch and he laid across you, head in your lap.

"I'm sorry." He spoke up after a while, voice barely above a whisper.

You looked down at him in surprise but he didn't look back, ashamed to meet your eyes.

"Hey look at me." You hooked a finger beneath his chin, turning his head toward your own.

He finally glanced up, eyes red and puffy from crying.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for, don’t be apologizing to me, ‘specially not for crying.” You spoke slightly stern.

“I’m supposed to be strong, to hold you when you cry, not the other way around. I feel so weak.” He huffed.

“You always do, now it’s my turn. And ain’t nothing weak bout allowing yourself to feel things, to express yourself, to cry or kick or scream. Ain’t nothing weak bout being vulnerable Elijah. You’ve been through hell and more, i ain’t expecting you to be strong all the time.” You stroked his face gently.

“I need you to know that i got you as much as you got me, that i’ll always be there to catch you when you fall, to give you strength when you’re feeling weak, for as long as i have breath in my body i’ll protect you, just as you protect me.” You pecked his lips gently.

“I love you.” He whispered against your lips.

“And I love you.” You replied.

The both of you stared off into the night sky, hearts heavy, minds uncertain of the journey ahead, but one thing the both of you knew for certain is that you had each other, and that’s all that mattered.

[winchestersisterimaginessss]

Imagine: Charlie was your best friend, but she gets killed by the Stynes

Sam and Dean x Sister!Reader

Warnings: death, violence, angst

A/N: I wanted to go deeper into this and show the different stages of grief/the effects of the trauma/ how deans words would end up effecting the reader as well so maybe it calls for a part 2?? I don’t know so lmk if you like this and also please request!!! I’ll write about anything:)))

“Who’s gone?” Sam asked, panicked. His face scrunched with worry and his jaw dropped with fear.

“Sam, who’s gone?” You asked scared of the expression on his face.

He looked at Dean with fear before looking back to you, “Charlie.” He whispered as he brought his hand over his mouth. Your heart dropped.

“I don’t friggin believe it! You got Charlie involved with this again and now she’s missing?!?” He screamed. Your heart was pounding and you were frozen in fear, breathing heavily. You heard Sam’s phone vibrating and he picked it up.

“Charlie where are you?!” He asked frantic waiting for a response back. You jumped up, looking at Sam. Your whole body shaking in fear. There was a pit in your stomach telling you something just didn’t feel right.

“If you have the book give it to them!” He shouted to her over the phone.

“Charlie has the damn Book Of The Damned!?” Dean yelled, angrily. Sam was distraught, shushing Dean.

“Then give them your notes Charlie! Give them the code— whatever they want!” He yelled into the phone.

You were breathing heavily unsure of what was happening on the other end, but Sam’s panic made you extremely nervous. Dean yanked the phone from his hands and started walking towards the door.

“Charlie I don’t know what the hell is going on, but you need to listen to me. Give whoever that is whatever they want. You understand?” He asked as he ran up the steps. You ran behind, flinching when you heard him shout, “Charlie?!”

——-

Dean spun around the corner into the parking lot of the Blackbird Motel. You opened the car door before Dean even stopped it and leaped out of it. You fell onto the hard, wet asphalt and scrambled back up. Your whole body was trembling and felt like jelly when you tried to move. With every step it felt like your legs were going to collapse under you from the rush of adrenaline. The immense fear you felt was like no other and you just had the worst gut feeling ever.

“Y/N!” You heard Dean yell.

You knew it wasn’t a good idea to run into the room blind with no weapon on you, but it was like your body moved without telling it to. You only had one thing on your mind and it was getting to Charlie. Sam and Dean charged after you with their guns raised. The door to her room was already open and you bolted in. You looked around confused, not seeing her until you heard Sam. He was looking into the bathroom.

“Oh God,” he gagged and covered his mouth. Dean rushed over immediately and then stopped in his tracks. His face fell.

“Charlie?” Dean said, weakly.

Your heart dropped and you ran towards them. Sam immediately turned around grabbing you by the waist and held you back from seeing the scene that was in front of them. No, you refused to believe it.

“Charlie?” You yelled, feeling sick to your stomach.

Dean turned around with tears in his eyes to look at you. Your body trembled viscously.

“NOOO, NOOOOO!” You screamed, fighting against Sam.

“LET ME SEE!” You shouted pounding against him, but he wasn’t letting up.

“LET ME SEE! LET ME SEE HER!” You shrieked, trying to scratch and claw your way out of his arms to see your best friend, someone who became a big sister to you.

“CHARLIE?!?” You screamed, needing to hear her voice. Instead, it was met with complete silence.

“CHARLIE?” You sobbed, giving into Sam and collapsing into his embrace. You knew she was dead. Dean’s face gave it away as he stood there in shock and you saw Sam bite back throw up before he turned to grab you to prevent you from seeing the massacre of your best friend.

“She’s gone,” Sam whispered, confirming her death

“NO!” You screamed, feeling the veins popping out of your neck.

“No, no, no, no, no,” you sobbed into Sam’s chest, gripping onto his jacket.

He held you close to him as you cried hysterically. You felt his chest rumble as he let out a few sobs as well. You looked up to Dean and saw him leaned against the door frame with his head pointed upwards. His eyes were squeezed shut, but tears were pouring down his cheeks. Sam turned to Dean, “we’ve gotta get out of here,” he said hoarsely. The Stynes were still out there and out to kill the rest of you.

“I’ll go put some of this stuff away in the car.” He said softly, motioning to Charlie’s things all over the room. You nodded and sat down. Sam left to the car and you sat there in shock. It felt like time stopped and you couldn’t picture a world without Charlie in it. You had to see her. You knew you shouldn’t, but you had to see her. You rushed to the bathroom door but rammed right into Dean’s chest as he blocked your view to her. He grabbed you and pushed your face into his chest. “You don’t want to see her,” he mumbled.

“Dean please let me go, I need to.” You cried.

“That’s not how you’re going to want to remember her. I’m telling you right now kid, this is your warning.” He said, clenching his jaw. He knew it was for the best if you didn’t see her, but he knew it wasn’t right to withhold you from it. He’s grieved more than enough people so he knew how it felt to feel like you had to see someone like that. He wasn’t going to interrupt your grieving process, but he also knew it never helped.

“Please Dean,” you whimpered.

He sighed, released his hold on you and stepped to the side. You stood back for a moment, pausing, unsure of what your next move should be. Dean hung his head low as you walked into the bathroom.

You gasped when you saw her. She was laying in the bathtub with blood everywhere. You fell to your knees as the sobs wracked through your body once more. Dean squatted down behind you and pulled your back into his chest.

“Charlie,” you sobbed, “I’m so sorry Charlie.” You cried, looking at her.

You were going to be sick. You pushed out of Dean’s arms and crawled to the toilet. As soon as you picked up the lid, you started projectile vomiting. You felt Dean hold your hair from your face and start rubbing your back. Sam walked in and pinched the bridge of his nose seeing your state. You finished throwing up and wiped your mouth. You turned your body and sat back against the wall, exhausted.

“I had to see her Sammy,” you whispered.

His expression softened, “I understand sweetheart.” He knew all too well, but his heart broke knowing his baby sister was at her point in life where she had to experience it as well.

You stood up with tears streaming down your face, glancing back at Charlie one more time before walking out.

——-

Your face was puffy, your eyes were bloodshot and you had bags under them. Tears continued to flow down your cheeks no matter how hard you tried to stop them. You were setting up the wood for Charlie’s funeral. Sam and Dean came into your view carrying her body and you felt a crushing blow to your chest. You just couldn’t believe that it was the end of your intelligent, brave, and courageous best friend.

They put her body on top of the wood and you watched the fire ignite. You stood in between Sam and Dean as Sam spoke.

“Charlie we’re going to miss you, you were the best. And I’m so sorry-“ Dean cut off Sam.

“Shut up.” He said. You looked up at your brother in shock before he continued, “you got her killed.“

He shook his head, “you both did.”

You felt like you couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t handle him saying that to you. You were already thinking it, but him absolutely confirming it for you made you feel like the worst human being alive. You burst into tears, covering your mouth with your shaking hands.

“Dean!” Sam said, appalled that he would say that to his sister who was clearly in so much pain already. He could handle whatever Dean had to say, but you didn’t deserve it. Not a single bit.

You felt like you were going to die at any second and you could hardly catch your breath. Sam immediately took you into his arms, trying to comfort you.

“We were trying to help you Dean.” You sobbed in between your breaths.

“I didn’t need help! I told you to leave it alone. But you didn’t. And look where that got your best friend.” He stated coldly.

“And I would trade places with her in a second!” You cried out. “Do you think I DONT hate myself for what happened to her?” You bit your lip trying to not let a sob escape you.

“I’ll nev- I’ll never forgive myself, Dean. This is going to weigh on me for-“ you gulped, tears still streaming down your face, “for the rest of my life.” You whimpered.

“What were we supposed to do? Just watch you die?”Sam asked.

“The mark isn’t going to kill me.” Dean stated.

“Dean you’re all we’ve got, of course we were going to fight for you because that’s what we do.” Your voice broke.

Sam started, “listen, we had a shot-“ Dean cut Sam off.

“Yeah, you had a shot. Charlie’s dead.” He said, looking between the both of you “Nice shot.” He scoffed.

You bit the inside of your cheek and looked away as more tears threatened to spill over.

“You think I…” Sam started but paused trying to collect his emotions. “You think I’m ever gonna forgive myself for that?” He questioned Dean.

“You know what I think? I think it should be you or Y/N up there— not her.” Dean said harshly. You closed your eyes and bit the inside of your cheek harder, tasting all of the blood as you gently nodded. You agreed with him. You should have been the one who died instead of Charlie. She never deserved this, but you did. You should be in her place.

“And I’m going to find the person who did this and I’m going to rip apart everything and everyone they’ve ever loved and then I’m going to tear out their heart.” Dean said.

“Is that you talking or the mark?” Sam asked.

“Does it matter?” He responded and walked away.

Once you knew he was gone, you collapsed onto the ground. Dean said you didn’t have the right to apologize or say anything to Charlie, but you needed to. She was your best friend. She was your sister. She was family. You crawled as close to her as possible until you felt the fire burn your skin.

“I’m so sorry Charlie!” You cried. “You didn’t deserve this.” You choked back. “You were my best friend, you were the sister I never had. Thank you so much for always being there for me.“ You said, tasting the tears in your mouth. “I’ll miss your nerdy dorky self too much, but I’ll go to every convention for you and I know you’ll be there, right next to me because there’s no way in hell you’d ever miss one.” You chuckled through your tears. “I’ll forever love and miss you so much.” You whispered, before standing up. You turned to Sam and he reached out to you. You relaxed into his hug while he rubbed your back.

“We’ll get through this bug, you’ll always have me.” He whispered.

[legendofmorons]

Family line (whiskey lullabies)

Legend and Hyrule both happen to know the tune that Wild hums to himself on his bad nights. There's no connection though... right? Set in my au where Wild is descended from Hyrule and Legend (on his mother's side)

Warnings: implied/ referenced child abuse and character death, delicious Wild angst

Wild has a lot of bad nights. They all do, but Wild is usually the one who scurries up trees to handle it.

He sits up on watch, staring into dying embers as his mind supplies the worst memories he has.

The sound of the SOS and SAD echoing against shiekah materials.

The sound of a shattering bottle.

Sobbing as a girl says his name.

None of the memories are solid but they're all unwelcome.

He hums.

The tune he hums starts without his conscious effort, but it is familiar. He focuses on it to reframe.

He can't remember the words, but it always feels like a warm hug from the woman with the brown curls. He can't remember her face, her name, or anything else... but he knows she was good.

He hums the tune a few times through, trying yet again to remember the lyrics. He can almost hear them, in a woman's voice...

"Oh, I didn't know you knew that song," Hyrule yawns as he sits down near Wild.

Wild hadn't even heard him wake or move. That's... not great.

"Just the tune," Wild says softer.

"Oh, not the words?"

"I... used to know them... I think."

"Oh. Well... I can teach you?" Hyrule offers.

"Really?"

"We both can," Legend says as he sits up, "I'm not sleeping anyway."

"Can I ask where you learned it?" Hyrule asks.

Wild shrugs, "I don't remember..."

"That's okay," Hyrule smiles.

Legend yawns, stretching his arms up before he moves closer.

The three of them make a triangle of sorts, Legend on the ground still.

Hyrule and Legend do teach him, slow and patient as they help him learn the words. They're both gentle when they correct.

Wild can't help the soft smile when they deem him graduated from the impromptu lesson. Blackbird is the name of the song, and it's a bittersweet tune but he dosen’t mind.

Having the words back feels... important. Importantly in ways he can't expression.

"You know... my Zelda sings that somg?" Legend yawns again.

"Really? So do mine. They say it's a family lulaby," Hyrule grins.

"Lullaby?" Wild asks.

"A song to get kids to sleep," Legend says simply.

"Oh," Wild hums.

"Did you have a lullaby?" Hyrule asks.

"Not really," Legend shrugs, "My uncle wasn't a singer..."

"That's a shame."

"Is it?" Legend shrugs.

[itsmymeaningoflife]

Neil the baby singing Blackbirds, Gavin finally speaking up for his best mate, Smithy waiting for Mick’s advice, MICK STANDING UP, “17 years ago, in Leicester Square”, “what time does her boat leave”.

I WAS SOBBING

[wayward-sherlock]

hi question what are some of your all time favorite fics? like just in general.

hello anon! this is a great question and now that i have some time (see: not studying for a test) i will answer <33

(adding a cut bc i can’t shut up apologies)

a body in motion by @astrobei - aka The mike wheeler character study of all time and also one of the inspirations for this fic of mine. single-handedly introduced me to a majority of my current music taste and also changed my brain chemistry. if i think abt it too much i collapse into a puddle of mush. (i won’t do add every single one but probably half of my list is by suni…anything they write is an absolute masterpiece)

sleeping with the lights on by singingseok - aka The Other mike wheeler character study. introduced me to searows which makes me a genuine danger to society. it’s one of those fics that you just feel deep in your chest.

the tender things we’re working on by lake - i read this entire thing in two days while in a haze-like state and i cried so much. it’s written so well and captures bucky and steve’s relationship perfectly. UGH i love this fic

astronomy in reverse by pansley - GOD THIS FIC MAKES ME ILL PETER PARKER AND WINTER DAD ARE SHSJSJSJSJ. yes

a cruel summer with you by @campbyler - consistently has me bouncing off the fucking walls. always and forever. fic of the summer for two years straight. need i say more.

you were bigger than the whole sky by @parkitaco - when i finished this fic i was hardcore sobbing and had to just lay down and stare at my ceiling and cry for a solid ten minutes. speaks for itself (also anything by parker is wonderful and well worth the read <3)

landslide by chamb3rs - pretty sure i read this fic twice over spring break my junior year and it ended up foreshadowing how i felt my senior year…high school aus my beloved. very nostalgic <3

number 1 crush by duckyboos - FIRST FIC I EVER COMMENTED ON AND THEORIZED ABOUT THIS FIC GOES SO HARD

bad things by duckyboos - the entire bbhmm series has me on my knees forever and ever it FUCKS TREMENDOUSLY

blackbird fly by artsyunderstudy - bye this is such a perfect au for them the guilt is so delicious and it’s all so well written!!

promises of a sacrificial lamb by edritchentities - hunger games aus are unfortunately rare in my fandoms but i ate this up. SO well executed i love love love it. always reread when im in the mood for thg but not katniss and peeta <3

twist and shout by gabriel and standbyme - my first fic ever 🙂🙂🙂 anyways. must read. one of the most beautiful pieces of literature ive ever read. to this day brings me to my knees to think about. heavily inspired my original story that im currently working on. yeag.

anyway this was me just quickly spending. a half an hour scrolling thru my bookmarks for my faves but i have plenty more bookmarked if you’d like to see more <3 but these are definitely Must Reads 2 me.

[shadowphoenixrider]

Friendly Advice

(The bear mutant Ber is looking for some advice in love. So of course, he turns to Gambit. The advice the Cajun gives him might not be the advice he wants to hear, however...) (Inspired by a fic by my lovely friend @hello-i-am-ber, this is sorta set before Shadow and Gambit got together.)

For a man who could turn into an ursine the size of the Blackbird jet, Ber looked very small and nervous as he approached Gambit outside, his grey-blue eyes trying to look everywhere but at him.

"Ber, mon ami!" Gambit greeted him warmly, pocketing his cards and making a grand gesture with his now free hand. "It always good to see ya. What brings ya to ol' Gambit?"

He couldn't help a smile at the Look Ber gave him - it was no secret the Polish man was much older than the rest of the group, except maybe the Professor. Yet Gambit insisted on the moniker for himself around the big man, a gentle tease as he got to know him better.

"Treat him gently, Cajun," Shadow's veiled warning echoed in his ears. "He's a sensitive soul, and your usual ribbing could hurt him."

Gambit knew her well enough to hear the threat implicit in her tone. Not that he ever intended to be cruel to the man, yet he appreciated the warning. Gambit may have had a habit of making enemies, but he was putting in the effort to make sure Shadow's group of friends didn't see him that way.

"I...I need your help, Gambit." Ber admitted. "You...you used to be with Rogue before, didn't you?"

"Oui, I did." Gambit nodded, straightening himself upright. He didn't need Jean's telepathy to see the man was radiating anxiety, and he had a fair idea where this conversation was going to go.

"Then...Is there any way you can teach me? To...To flirt? To be like you?" Ber asked tentatively. "What does she like?"

Gambit frowned, pulling his head back.

"You wanna learn...to be like Gambit?"

"Yes, please," Ber nodded. "I...I want to be able to give her what she deserves."

"Den, respectfully, no." Gambit shook his head. "I ain't teachin' ya. Not to be like Gambit."

Ber stared at him as if the Cajun had just told him dogs weren't real.

"B-But, I need-"

"Non." Gambit was firm, pushing off the wall he'd been leant against. "I'm not. I ain't gonna teach ya to be someone ya not."

Tears welled up in Ber's eyes.

"But that's the thing! I don't want to be me!" He cried. "What can a man like me do to measure up to you?! You're handsome and smart and funny, and you always know what to say to someone to make them see hearts in their eyes. Fuck, you're even graceful! I can't even do anything dexterous with my left hand. Every time she's going to be with me, she's going to look over at you and wish you were in my place!" A sigh tore itself from him. "She probably already does..."

Gambit sighed softly.

"All'a dat didn't matter in de end, mon ami," he said. "All de charm in de world couldn't have saved where we were goin'. No matter what we coulda done, de workarounds in order to touch, it neva fixed what were broken." He sighed again. "Gambit don' blame Rogue for her powers not workin', or wantin' to have dat normal life dey denied her. But for all de love I had for her, bein' treated like a second choice, de fallback when everythin' goes wrong, when she was everythin' to me..." He shook his head. "She had to figure dat out on her own."

His eyes flicked back to Ber's. "You ain't me. You ain't gonna be me, unless you be able to shift into somethin' other den a bear. An' pretendin' to be me ain't the way to go 'bout dis. I get dat you wanna be de best for her - trust me, if anyone know 'bout dat, it Gambit - but lying 'bout who you are ain't it."

A frustrated sob tore from the older man, and the Cajun's heart ached for him. He felt he was brushing the tip of a very large iceberg.

"I know. She's just so beautiful and wonderful and...I want to be with her, but why would she want to be with a stupid fat retard like me?"

"Hey now, let's not be throwin' dat word around, even to ourselves." Gambit said. He shook his head as Ber opened his mouth. "Non, don' care if ya can use it fer yaself, all it gonna do is hurt." His dark eyes narrowed. Time to pull his trump card. "Shadow wouldn't like ya doin' it, would she?"

Ber glanced down at the floor, abashed.

"No...she wouldn't." He admitted, shoulders slumping.

"An' likewise, neither would Rogue." Gambit stepped closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Listen, Ber. If Rogue weren't interested in ya, she woulda told ya long by now." She's more likely to keep you dragging on the end of a string, his mind scoffed bitterly, but he pushed the unhelpful thought aside. "Gambit seen her reject all sorts of folks before dey got through their first pickup line. De fact she likes ya enough to flirt? To let ya flirt back? Dat's a hellva start."

Hope, small and uncertain, kindled in Ber's eyes. It made him look very young, like a teenager awkwardly stuffed into an adult's body. It reminded Gambit of his courtship of Bella Donna, all awkward stumbling and goading by his brothers.

He wasn't going to let this end like how that did, however.

"You really think so?" Ber asked tentatively. "That she likes me?"

"Oui." Gambit nodded. "And' she be liking you because you be Ber. Not Ber pretendin' to be Gambit. Try'n be someone you're not jus' gonna hurt de both of ya in de long run."

Uncertainty glimmered in the Polish man's eyes, his face falling.

"I don't know why she'd want to be with me," he said softly, and the Cajun's heart ached. He knew that sentiment very well.

"Dunno, mon ami - why do Miranda an' Shadow like bein' with ya?" Gambit asked, arching a brow. "If dere anythin' Gambit knows for sure, it's dat they mighty protective of you. One time Logan were bein' an ass 'bout ya, an' dose women looked like dey were about to put him six feet under." He grinned when the older man blinked at him. "Oh, for sure! Not to mention dey always call ya a ray of sunshine, dat you sweet, kind, gentle, smart, all de traits a woman like Rogue appreciates."

Gambit thought for a moment.

"Tell ya what, best thing you can do is go take Rogue out somewhere, jus' the two of you. Don' call it a date, don' put dat pressure on yaself. You jus' going out, as friends. Jus' spending some time together." His dark eyes brightened as an idea popped into his head. "Think of it as goin' out with Shadow an' dem! No pressure, no nothin', jus' you an' her havin' a good time."

"That sounds like a good idea, yeah." Ber nodded, a smile slowly growing across his lips and brightening his face. "Yeah! I think I saw there was a carnival in town this week! I'll take her there!" He hesitated. "If...if she wants to."

"Oh, Rogue be a sucker for anythin' like dat." Gambit grinned. "It be right up her alley." He jerked his head in the direction of the mansion. "Go talk to her now, 'fore ya lose ya nerve. She be down in de Danger Room last Gambit checked."

"Right." Ber nodded, pausing, before he took a deep breath, straightening his back. "I can do this."

"Go get her, tiger." The Cajun grinned. The older man turned to him with mirth glinting his eyes.

"Shouldn't that be 'bear'?"

Gambit barked out a laugh.

"Attaboy! Now go! Don' let Gambit hold ya up."

He watched Ber head off to find the Southern woman with considerably more pep in his step than before, absently twirling a card around his fingers. Admittedly, of all the people Gambit would have expected Rogue to have a soft spot for, he'd not considered Ber on that list. Yet he could understand - the man was a ray of sunshine, and seemed a soft, gentle-natured soul. No wonder he was so well-loved by Shadow and her group. The jealousy Gambit had first felt had been quickly doused after assurances from Myst and Lemming that it was nothing but platonic feelings.

He smiled ruefully. Perhaps that's what Rogue needed; a soft Polish bear, rather a Cajun scoundrel. If he was being honest with himself...he needed someone little gentler too.

"Good luck to de both of you." He murmured. "May de cards always be your favour."

[viktheviking1]

The rain poured out of the sky as the windshield wipers beat against the tune coming from the radio. The announcer had called the song “Bye Bye Blackbird” and it sounded like it was coming right from a phonograph, rather than the state of the art audio system that was in the limo. Fizz sighed as he stared out the window at the bright lights and apartment buildings. “ . . . We’ve arrived at the penthouse. Aren’t you going in?” One of the hellhounds said from the front. They had been parked outside for a minute and Fizz had made no signs of leaving.

He sighed again, “Yeah . . . I am.”

The elevator rose higher and higher, and Fizz couldn’t help feeling nervous. More than anything, he wanted to see Ozzie; just cuddle him in their big bed together and forget this night ever happened, but he knew there were questions he’d need to answer first . . . and Oz might tell him to go sleep somewhere else, after. Maybe permanently . . .

Ozzie turned around to see the glass elevator arrive, Fizzarolli inside, looking down, “Fizzy! You’re back! What took you so long, babe? Why did you stop answering my texts? Are you hurt anywhere?” Fizz let him inspect his arms, legs and body. Ever since the incident, he’d gotten even more overprotective of him.

“Hi, Asmodeus . . . I’m fine.” Fizz said, looking away from him.

“Oh, sh*t. Something serious happen?” Oz turned his chin to look him in the eyes.

Fizz couldn’t help it, he started crying, “I-I f**ked up, Ozzy. . . I f**ked up bad. Please don’t hate me.”

Well, that was concerning, but he was home safe and whatever it was, he clearly already regretted it. Asmodeus sighed, and scooped him up into his arms, a relieved and empathetic look on his face, “I could never hate you, Fizzy frog, come here. It’s late and we should both get some sleep.”

Once in their room with the door closed, Ozzy set Fizz down on the bed. He grabbed some tissues, and knelt on the floor, and holding Fizz’s face, dabbed the tears and snot off. Fizz leaned into the giant blue hand, and kissed it, looking up at Oz shyly.

“I need to tell you what happened. And it’s okay if you want to kick me out after. I-I’d understand.” Fizz sniffled.

“D*mn girl, what has got you this upset?” Ozzy said, sitting on the bed next to him.

“You know h-how, when we started dating . . . we agreed this was an open relationship, mostly so you could keep up appearances of being the great ‘Lord of Lust’, big daddy to many, not just me, right?” Fizz started.

“. . . Uh-huh.” Ozzy did not like where this was going.

“And I told you that I never expected you to have romantic feelings for me, like at all, let alone a monogamous relationship, so I was fine sharing you with however many people it took, as long as we were together.” He fidgeted with his hoodie.

“Uh-huh.” Oz tried his best to keep a neutral face.

“And I also said that while I appreciated the permission to go fooling around if I wanted, I didn’t really need it, because no one could satisfy me the way you could anyway, right. You remember that?” Fizz peaked up at Ozzy.

Asmodeus, trying to hold back tears, squeaked, “ . . . Uh-huh. . .”

“Ozzy . . . are you okay?” Fizz put a mechanical hand on his knee.

Oz burst into tears, “You’re leaving me aren’t you?!” He sobbed.

Fizz was taken aback, “What?! NO! F**k no! Never!”

“I sent you off on a date to get the press off our backs, and you met someone you can love publicly, and now you’re leaving me!!!” Oz put his face in his hands.

Fizz jumped up on his back, putting his arms around his shoulders, “Awe, Oz. You don’t need to worry about that. I’ve told you; I don’t mind keeping us a secret, really! It’s kind of hot, actually.” Fizz snickered.

Ozzy sniffled, and looked over at him, “Then . . . what happened? You saying you got dirty with someone?”

Fizz jumped off and landed in the middle of the bed, “No! Well, sort of. Just a makeout sesh! A really. . . really, erotic make out sesh. It was all so sudden! I didn’t know what to do!” He sighed, “Still, I should’ve talked to you about it first. You text me before getting frisky with other demons. At the very least, I should have done the same, if not more. . . I’m sorry.”

There was a pause, and then to his extreme surprise, Asmodeus giggled, “Are you . . . laughing?”

Ozzy laughed heartily, then took a breath to say, “This is the serious news you had to tell me?”

Fizz blushed a bit, confused, “Well, yeah, I mean- I kinda cheated on you. And even if the relationship is open, I didn’t communicate and-”

He was interrupted by Asmodeus laying down, and placing Fizz on his chest, “Well, yes. And maybe I should be mad, but honestly, I’m relieved that it wasn’t something worse. Plus, I thought you’d started seeing other people ages ago.”

Fizz sat up on his chest, “Wait, what?! What the f**k gave you that idea?”

Ozzy smiled, “When you said no one else could satisfy you, I just thought it was a line to get me into bed with you. Which did work, as I recall.”

“Yeah, I remember. That was the night we tried ********* ***** ***** **** for the first time.” Fizz smiled wistfully, “Those were good times . . .”

Ozzy chuckled, “Right, and I’ve seen you flirt with some of the succubi here, as well as the dancers and security at the club. . .”

“That was just for show! To throw people off our scent!” Fizz defended.

“Yes well, I figured you were getting nasty with them in your down time, both for press and for fun. We even winked at each other while you flirted around.” Ozzy shrugged.

Fizz groaned, “Because you and I were in on the secret! Not because I was about to f**k ‘em!”

“I never minded, Babe! I started doing the texting thing because it made me feel better to be totally open with you. I never wanted to make you feel like I was hiding things from you or that you were beneath me as an imp and a sin. I just did it to make sure that you knew we stood on equal ground. But I figured you not texting before you got down on someone else meant that you felt completely secure in my trust in you. It kind of made me happy actually.” Ozzy paused to giggle, “But now I know that you haven’t had s*x with anyone else? This whole time? And the first time you do anything dirty, you come home crying thinking I’ll dump you over it? It’s adorable!”

He squeezed Fizz in a hug as he started laughing again.

“Haha, right . . . So you aren’t mad? Even a little?” Fizz looked up at him.

Ozzy began taking off Fizz’s jester hat, and Fizz let him, “Not at all, babe. Though, I do feel kinda dumb for not confirming whether or not you were screwing anyone else. Could’ve saved us some trouble. I guess that’s why they say the thing about *sses and assuming.”

Fizz purred a little as Ozzy stroked his head, “It’s fine, and I’m sorry for not being more clear about my intentions from the start. I’m glad we could work this out.”

Ozzy grinned, taking Fizz off his chest so he could roll over on his stomach. He waved his legs in the air, and placed his chin in his hand, “Sooooo, who’s the lucky guy who you almost got lucky with~? Or lucky gal? Or otherwise lucky . . . hotshot?”

Fizz blushed, and rubbed the back of his neck, “Guy, and uh- Ahem. . . you remember that guy I used to hate for blowing me up? And then I told you about how he kind of saved my life, blew me up again, and saved my life again?”

“Blitzo?!” Ozzy was shook.

“Blitz, actually. And it's a long story." Fizz looked down, blushing.

"Oooo~ do tell." Asmodeus scooched a little closer.

Fizz snickered, "Okay, okay. So . . ."

Read more on The Pompous and The Prick

All relationships are different, be they monogamous or otherwise, and I am no expert on the subject. So don’t use this as a reference point for anyone else’s relationship. All I did was listen to a podcast, that was the extent of my research, so I do apologize if I misrepresented anyone in any way. Some people may not like them in the hierarchical polyamorous relationship that I’ve put them in. And that’s okay; you can disagree. This is the only time it came up in the story anyway, so I hope it doesn't deter you from reading it. Thanks <3

PSA

[madaqueue]

hi quinn do you have a letterboxd? if not then can you talk about some movies that you enjoy :D?

OMG HI MY DEAREST!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEE this question made me smile so big YES I WILL TALK ABOUT MOVIES YES YES YES!!!!!!! i do not have a letterboxd so you will have to bear with my silly little ramblings instead :3 BUT YES!!!!!!!!!

SO!!!!!!!! i have to start with a movie that i recommend to everyone bc i feel like it’s just not all that popular, but ‘PALM SPRINGS’!!!!!!!! this is a very quinn-core movie to me in the sense that it’s on the surface very silly and lighthearted, there’s lots of jokes and moments that make you like absolutely laugh (it’s basically like a time-loop type movie) but then underneath it there is something very…..sad and beautiful . it talks about the sort of nihility in knowing what your fate holds and what it takes to break out of that, in the necessity to find things that are meaningful to you and use that love to keep you going - it makes me laugh and cry and it holds my attention very well and it’s just AHHHH such a good little movie :3

NEXT UP IS ‘LADY BIRD’ AAAHHHH I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! for anyone who hasn’t seen it it’s sort of about growing up and finding yourself in the setting of all these external factors that try to shape you and how that can end up with you trying to shape yourself into something you aren’t, too . it’s beautiful and makes me cry and i LOOOVE movies with complex and flawed moms (her mom reminds me a LOT of mine….. my mom texted me after she watched it for the first time and said ‘i hope you don’t see me like her’ which is like . YEOWCH anyways) ANYWHO it’s beautiful and just a glimpse into life!!!!!

SPEAKING OF FLAWED MOMS!!!!!! i would be remiss to not mention ‘everything everywhere all at once’ aka one of my FAV movies of all time!!!!!!! i cannot watch it without ugly sobbing it is so beautiful and if you don’t know anything about it and haven’t seen it GO WATCH IT!!!!!!!

OKAY AND OTHER HONORABLE MENTIONS!!!!!!!!! i absolutely ADORE ‘little miss sunshine’ it is such a beautiful story about family and loss and perseverance and it’s just . SO LOVELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! another less common one i’ve seen talked about is ‘blackbird’ !!!!! it’s about a woman who basically decides that she has finished her course of an illness and wants to end her life with her family around - there are a lot of complex and often silly but still sad family dynamics and it’s just such a beautiful exploration of life and dying and AHHH i love it so much!!!!!!!!!!!

[sleeplessv0id]

My algebra 2 teacher ridiculed me in front of my entire class. And he's going to talk about me to all his other classes... He already has, actually, according to my friends in different hours. He didn't disclose my name, but he said that I "wasn't the only one" and that he was "using me as an example." I was literally on the verge of sobbing.

My glasses broke my noise canceling in my headphones, which happens rarely, so they heard a bit of my music, and by that point of him talking, I could have shriveled away if I was able to. But he put the names of my songs on THE WHITEBOARD and said he's gonna put em for a no credit test question.

NOBODY TAPPED ME ON THE SHOULDER. He said, "we all took a couple minutes to stare at you. 😊" A classmate sitting beside me had apparently held his phone behind my head and shazamed it.

I genuinely could've slit my throat right there to give them something to stare at. 😒 I was reading cause he was going over the test, and I liked my score, so I didn't care.

And I'm PROUD of one of the songs they heard. The other was a niche one I liked, and he had the audacity to say, "Your music is weird, [*last name*]" I'm proud of the song Blackbird by the Beatles, thank you very much. And isn't that like, his generation???

I wish the other song was Semi-Charmed life rather than Blister In The Sun by the Violent Femmes.

[the-algebra-thing]

SOBBING SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP. LISTEN. LISTENNNN TO ME. my dad used to teach piano lessons when I was in elementary school. he could be heard at many hours practicing on the beautiful borrowed baby grand in the front room of our house. my dad, being in his early sixties now, loves the beatles. he used to play blackbird for us on the guitar before we went to bed, and he played a few of their songs quite often on the piano. the one he loved to play best was let it be, and he would sing it too down to the real ass falsetto; little known fact about him is that he was a theater kid in high school and college. he doesn't fuck around. anyways, this is an integral part of the soundtrack of my childhood.

now. I am in my dad's apartment, where I live with him and my siblings and a clavinova my dad bought in 2019, years after he quit teaching lessons and we had to give back the baby grand. I get up to work on my cosplay crafts for the day, and through the jack johnson in my earbuds I hear the chords for let it be. my youngest sister has middle school at home today because of icy roads, and is learning let it be between classes from my dad's beatles complete chord songbook and singing along under her breath. i have to go dig up the video of her "playing" hey jude on that baby grand as a toddler. or the one of her dancing on my parents' queen bed to lucy in the sky with diamonds played on my dad's old joint alarm clock/cd player. I'm going to throw up. I'm going to pass away. I can't do this shit no more

[scuderiahoney]

the fic that brought me here was tangerine, and I stayed for the rest. This is gonna be lengthyy.

You're writing is one of the few reasons I'm still on tumblr. I read in from the rain when I can't sleep. In motion is one of my favourite things on this planet. Strawberry wine is a masterpiece. colour theory is just so HBIBFKJEHFU I love it. Be Brave warms my heart so much that I think I re-read that an unhealthy amount of times. Stick Around is just so amazing I can't even describe it.

every second makes me SOB. After all is everything I look at in a CL16 fic. All you got is such a fun read I'm actually obsessed with it.

Sweet like Grendine makes me feel so complete. I usually don't read DR3 but sweet like Grenadine and Blackbird are just so perfect it's insane. puzzle piece never fails to make me smile.

Basically, all this to say, I love your writing. I read them whenever I'm having a bad day, or just feel like reading something. I really am not that much of a fanfic reader, but your writing just may be the expectation. sorry if this comes off as too strong or whatever, I'm just trying to say how much your writing helps me.

Sincerely, a dedicated reader 🐳

hi ilysm oh my word. this is so incredibly kind of you to send this. i’m so glad some of the stuff I’ve written brings you comfort- that’s what i started out trying to do for myself!! happy to be able to share my works with all of you guys. and this message is not too strong, it’s so so sweet & i appreciate you so much. 💛💛💛

[justonemorewallflower]

Hello, another update!! Last time my cousin and I watched BSG we got through Home Part 1 through Epiphanies.

So here's a quick update about her thoughts to all those episodes:

She was ECSTATIC about the Starpollo kiss haha she literally threw her hands up in excitement when it happened then was annoyed when the scene immediately became tense because of Sharon walking in. She thought the kiss was super random but she definitely wasn't mad about it.

Later when Lee talks to Kara in the brig after he had talked to Sharon and tells Kara she isn't the one who should be telling him what to do my cousin said, "brother you literally kissed her." 🤣

She thought the scene where Lee told her he loved her was cute. And she thought it was funny when Kara teased him about it. My cousin was literally the definition of kicking her feet and giggling during this scene.

She was pretty stressed for all the Kobol stuff especially when Elosha stepped on a trap and Tom and his buddy were planning to take out Lee and his dad.

When they found the tomb of Athena and had the vision with all the constellations it just dawned on her that all the colonies were named after the constellations lmao. It took her that long 🤣😭

She still hates Ellen lol she gets so annoyed every time she's on screen haha. She also kind of figured D'Anna was a Cylon so she wasn't surprised to find that out.

She thought the Blackbird was pretty cool. She was annoyed with Helo and Chief fighting over Sharon. She thought it was super cute how everyone signed the ship and they named it after Laura.

She HATED Cain and understandably so.

She hated what happened with Sharon and Helo and Chief and was glad that Thorne died and that Helo and Chief didn't get executed for intervening.

She was SUPER stressed when Kara was given the task to kill Cain and Fisk had the task to kill Bill. As well as Lee just casually dying during all that too. She was so stressed haha and was relieved when Lee got saved and Fisk nor Kara had to murder anyone.

She was glad Gina killed Cain though. She was just glad Cain died haha.

In Epiphanies she really thought Laura was gonna die. She was confused and shocked when Bill kissed her towards the end of the episode.

Also in the one scene Lee and Dee have where their faces ended up close during like fighting practice she did the same thing she had done to Kara and Sam where she went, "get away!" 🤣

She's gonna absolutely hate how those relationships develop and how it'll be both of the pairs she doesn't like.

Also I asked her some thoughts on current ships/couples like which ones she thinks will make it to the end and all and regarding Kara and Lee she thinks they're endgame for sure and I'm just over here sobbing like just wait your opinion on that is about to change real quick and you're gonna be so disappointed/upset 😭

Also at one point where Kara was in danger I made a joke to her about her dying too (this was like after episode where Lee almost died) and she said "she can't die she's a pop figure." And I'm just over here like oh how wrong you are... she's going to be so upset haha

***

Anyway those were her biggest/main thoughts from our last watch session. Today we are going to watch more and I'm so curious because we'll be starting off on Black Market which is bleh but I'll be curious to see her thought on that episode especially since Lee is one of her favorite characters. And I'm also curious to see her reaction to Scar because that is an interesting episode too and pretty Kara centered which is another one of her favorite characters. I also can't wait for her to watch Sacrifice because she is going to be devastated about Billy (in the past episodes at one point she literally said how he can't die and she likes him). She's also gonna be sad about Lee. Like poor Lee can't get a break he gets seriously injured/has near death experiences like 3 times within 5 episodes 😭😭

I am also excited to see her thoughts on Razor!

I'm not sure how much further she and I will make it into season two, I'm kind of hoping we'll finish the season but that's me being optimistic about our time, etc.

I shall keep y'all posted :)

[thistle-and-thorn]

There’s a blackbird in Dun Laoghaire When I’m walking with my sons Through the laneways Called ‘The Metals’ By the train-tracks.

And he sings among the dandelions And bottle-tops and stones, Serenading purple ivy, Weary tree-trunks.

And I have it in my head That I can recognise his song, Pick him out, I mean distinct From all his flock-mates.

Impossible, I know. Heard one blackbird, heard them all. But there are times He whistles up a recollection.

There’s a blackbird in Dun Laoghaire – And I’m suddenly a kid, Asking where from here to Sandycove My youngest sister hid. I’m fourteen this Easter. My job to mind her. Good Friday on the pier – And I suddenly can’t find her.

The sky like a bruise By the lighthouse wall. We were playing hide-and-seek. Is she lost? Did she fall? There’s a blackbird in Dun Laoghaire And the terror’s like a wave Breaking hard on a hull, And the peoples’ faces grave

As Yeats on a banknote. Stern as the mansions Of Killiney in the distance, As the pier’s granite stanchions, And Howth is a drowned child Slumped in Dublin Bay, And my heart is a drum And the breakers gull-grey.

The baths. It starts raining. The People’s Park. And my tears and the terns, And the dogs’ bitter bark. There’s a blackbird in Dun Laoghaire, And I pray to him, then, For God isn’t here, In a sobbed Amen.

And she waves from the bandstand, Her hair in damp strings, And the blackbird arises With a clatter of wings From the shrubs by the teahouse, Where old ladies dream Of sailors and Kingstown And Teddy’s ice-cream.

And we don’t say a word But cling in the mizzle, And the whistle of the bird Getting lost in the drizzle. Mercy weaves her nest In the wildflowers and the leaves, There are stranger things in heaven Than a blackbird believes.

– Joseph O’Connor, 2010

Read at Sinead O'Connor's funeral, August 2023

[infiniterichesinalittleroom]

August

Dull August! Maiden of the sultry days, And Summer's latest born! When all the woods Grow dim with smoke, and smirch their lively green With haze of long-continued drought begot; When every field grows yellow, and a plague Of thirst dries up its herbage to the root, So that the cattle grow quite ribby-lean On woody stalks whose juices all are spent; When every fronded fern in mid-wood hid Grows sick and yellow with the jaundice heat, Whilst those on hill-sides glare with patchy red; When streamlets die upon the lichened rocks, And leave the bleaching pebbles shining bare, And every mussel shell agape and parched, And small snail-craft quite emptied of their crews; When not one angel-cloud is to be seen To image coolness and the coming rain, But all the air with stour and dust is filled, Through which the sun stares with a pallid face On which one long may look, and turn, and read Some prophecy of old with eyes undimmed; When every morn is fiery as the noon, And every eve is fiery as the morn, And every night a prison hot and dark, Where one doth sleep and dream of pleasant snow, And winter's icicles and blessed cold, But, soon awakes, with limbs uneasy cramped, And garments drenched, and stifled, panting breath; When life itself grows weary of its use, And mind is tarnished with the hue of things, And thoughts are sickened with o'erdàrkened food; When man uneasy strolls, a listless mome In museless misery, a wretch indeed— Say, fiery maiden, with the scorching eyes, What hast thou left to chain us to the earth? Ah, there are busy forms which, all unsought, Find yet a relish in thy scanty store. And, for that blooms are scarce, therefore the bee Wades knee-deep in the purple thistle tops, And shares their sweetness with the hungry wasp. Therefore the butterfly comes sailing down, And, heedless, lighting on a hummer's back, Soon tacks aloft in sudden strange alarm, Whilst bee and wasp quick scurry out of sight, And leave their treasures to the plodding ant. The beetle in the tree-top sits and sings His brassy tune with increase to the end, And one may peep and peer amongst the leaves, Yet see him not though still he sits aloft, And winds his reedy horn into the noon. Now many a sob is heard in thickets dim, Where little birds sit, pensive, on the spray, And muse mayhap on the delights of Spring; And many a chitmunk whistles out its fear, And jerks and darts along the panneled rails, Then stops, and watches with unwinking eyes Where you do stand, as motionless as death; But should you wag a finger through the air, Or move a-tiptoe o'er the crispy sod, 'Twill snudge away beneath the balsam brush, Quick lost and safe among the reddened spray. Now one may sit within a little vale, Close to the umbrage of some wood whose gums Give heavy odours to the heavy air, And watch the dusty crackers snap their wings, Whilst gangs of blue-flies fetch a buzzing teaze Of mad, uneasy whirlings overhead. Now one may mark the spider trim his web From bough to bough, and sorrow at the fate Of many a sapless fly quite picked and bare, Still hanging lifeless in the silken mesh, Or muse upon the maze of insect brede Which finds a home and feeds upon the leaves Till naught but fibre-skeletons are hung From branch to branch up to the highest twig. And many a curious pleasance may be seen And strange disport. Of such the wondrous glee The joinèd gnats have in their headlong flight; The wild'ring quest of horse-flies humming past In twos and threes, and the small cloud of wings Which mix and throng together in the sun. A num'rous kin dart shining o'er some pool Spared from the general wreck of water store, And from the lofty woods crow-blackbird trains Chuck o'er the barren leas with long-drawn flight. Far o'er the hills the grouse's feath'ry drum Beats quick and loud within a beechen copse, And, sometimes, when the heavy woods are still, A single tap upon a hemlock spire Dwells with the lonely glades in echoes deep. Then with the eve come sounds of varied note. The boys troop clam'ring to the woods, and curs Yelp sharply where the groundhog's lair is found. The horn has called the reapers from the fields, And, now, from cots half-hid by fruited trees, The homely strains of fiddle or of fife, Which distance sweetens with a needed art, Come dropping on the ear. And sometimes, too, If sparks are deemed sincere, and rustic love Run smooth, the merry milkmaids sing A fallow's length with pails at elbow slung, Or, while they thrust the draw-well dangler down, 'Gainst which the swains oppose their yielding strength, Laugh loud and long, or scold with mimicked heat. These find a pleasure in the waste of days, And strive against the mis'ry of the time With am'rous snares and artifice of love. Not less those faithful ones who look upon This weather-sorrow with sufficing joy— The old, who still would linger with their seed, And snatch a little comfort from the earth. Still would they gaze upon the simmering sun, And take the warmth into their aged bones, Nor cavil with the hindrances which stay. The lethal hour when death shall come and bend Their reverend heads into the restful grave. Hail August! Maiden of the sultry days, To thee I bring the measured meed of praise. For, though thou hast besmirched the day and night, And hid a wealth of glory from our sight, Thou still dost build in musing, pensive mood, Thy blissful idyls in the underwood. Thou still dost yield new beauties, fair and young, With many a form of grace as yet unsung, Which ripens o'er thy pathway and repays The toil and languor of the sultry days.

by Charles Mair

[toasterwurld]

a bit late but here is everything i wanna read this month!!

i wanted to keep it realistic, and decided to only put 3 books on my TBR, which is a lot more than i've actually ever read, but i really want to rekindle my previously lost joy of reading :)

Legendborn by Tracy Devon

i started this book last month, but i'm not even 20% of the way in because of The Blood Traitor ahh. it's been really interesting so far, i just haven't been able to properly focus on it so far ;-;

Butcher & Blackbird

okay so i need some fucked up contemporary romance where the main characters do dubious things AGAIN after reading Lights Out lmao. this sounded interesting and after watching a reading vlog of the third book in the serious, i decided i wanted to read it this book this month, as i like having some contemporary to break up all my fantasy stuff.

Strange The Dreamer

i heard a review of this book where they gave a synopsis and i was HOOKED because wot. i then told a friend of mine about it because it seemed like the type of thing he'd be into, and then he told me that he already had it on his own Kobo!! so we've decided to buddyread it! i've never done a buddyread, but i'm just hoping it'll be like book club. only with, y'know, two people...

it took a while for me to figure out if i wanted to make an official TBR in the first place, since i was (and still am) scared of just the term 'TBR'. i feel like some people make it sound like they HAVE to read what's on their TBR and even make it feel like some sort of weird morally better competition, but that's a conversation for another time.

it also took a bit because i'm currently finishing The Blood Traitor, so i haven't had time to fully accept the fact that this serious is going to be over, and that i'll eventually read other books afterwards (sobbing)

this graphic is just so i can visualise what my plans for this month are, and to get the vibes and pacing down.

[merriemarvels]

[wipe] for jubes :')

It was getting to be where she hated when people saw her cry. Sure, she was still a kid, young enough that people understood when she got emotionally overwhelmed, but she was an X-Man, and if she was going to be respected in the position, Jubilee had to keep it together...

right?

She managed to hold it until they were in the Blackbird, on the way home. Once she was safely buckled in, the exhaustion crept into her bones, and with it, the crushing emotional weight of the day. Today was a win, a victory against the odds, but it had been hard won, she was wiped out, and he fears for her friends had kept her on edge for hours. Now...

She pulled her feet up into the seat, arms folding around her knees, her face dropping onto them as she stifled a quiet sob into the sleeve of her jacket. The others politely averted their gaze, let her process in her own way -- she'd reach out if she wanted to, both she and they knew that.

Logan didn't live by such rules. He sat down in the seat next to hers, hand coming to rest on her hair to smooth it down on the back of her neck. "You were good out there, Firecracker," he said, his voice a low, comforting rumble. "Real good."

Her head lifted, dark eyes liquid as she focused on him; he looked like hell, like always. Uniform in tatters, mask gone, blood and grime smeared over his face. The fatigue was evident, he was counting the minutes before they were back at home base and he could unbunch, but foremost, he was worried about her. Brow pinched, blue eyes narrowed a little, focusing on the nearly-imperceptible tremble in her lower lip.

His hand tilted her head up, thumb brushed under her eye to wipe away the tears. "Nothin' like a good cry to get it out of your system, right?" That made her smile, just a little, mostly in her eyes. "Mind doin' it for both of us?"

Nodding quickly, Jubilation leaned closer, tucking into his shoulder -- into that private place she felt safe and protected, and though it was still silent, she let the tears fall without feeling ashamed. Because his hand was slowly stroking down her hair, his scent of sweat and blood and cigar smoke filled her nose. She was grounded.