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shadowonwater · 2 years ago

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Pokemon Scarlet playthrough part 12: a shiny exploded, found another mysterious gate, fought an emo ex-snowboarder and a cool rapper, then I fought a fairy boy.

Playthrough Masterlist

Before going into the mountain area I wanted to explore the rest of the area around that big lake. And of boy did a few interesting things happen.

So first off Socarrat trail is really pretty! Also may I say I love the suction cup sound Kori's feet make when it climb's up walls. I also really love the animation where it gets wings when gliding, the sparkles are really fun.

I finally found a Toedscool! I've been wanting to catch one ever since I saw a video of one, even before I got the game for myself. There were plenty of times I saw its icon on the map but it was nowhere to be seen until now! This place is just full of them!

Honestly I thought they were only grass type, so I tried to have my Kilowattrel use Thunder Wave. But it didn't work and I ended up realizing it must be Grass/Ground. I switched to Clodsire and used Yawn. And then I caught it after lowering the hp a bit.

So getting to the shiny part in the title... I ran into a mass outbreak of Fortresses and I figured this would be good place to grind and bring my team's level up. But then I saw a shiny one... I got so excited I just ran right up to it, didn't think to save. It exploded... at least I took a screenshot? D:

So a bit afterwards... I found another gate! A yellow one this time! So I was right that there are multiple gates. But the real kicker is realizing these gates are connected to the fairytale that the history teacher told me about. I realized this upon clicking the door, and vaguely remembering what the other door said. So I guess there should be four in all and that the Pokemon from the tale should be behind the gates. btw, I also found two more yellow stakes while exploring in this session.

Also I climbed to the top of the rock the gate was connected to, I was very high up it was cool, I took a couple screenshots. I imagine it'll be even cooler to climb as high as I can in the mountains. While exploring I also found a small cave, nothing notable about it but I did find that new ice/dragon inside and caught it, excited to evolve it eventually and see what it looks like.

I will climb the mountain after this and get to my next gym leader (finally). I'm going after the ice one.

I got him pretty quickly, it's strange to see a gym without a town surrounding it, I wonder where the crowd came from? I went in way overleveled, had like 20 levels on him. Going in I thought I might be worried because like half of my team is weak to ice, but it was a cake walk.

Ice gym leader sounds so arrogant like telling me to give up now and all that but here I am with Pokemon like 20 levels above his team. He said I melted his ice, but really I just hit him with a giant rock.

Anyway the gym test was fun, was funny seeing Kori awkwardly slide down the slope. Kind of wished it was longer, but also a bit smoother, sliding-wise.

Anyway may I mention how hard it is to navigate up here? Elevations are incredibly hard to read on the map because it's all slightly different shades of blue. I wish they made it more clear.

Also I keep accidentally stepping on small white Pokemon. They are just very hard to see in this landscape.

So I also met a new elite four member. They were literally a baby. Just a straight up child. Who's decision was this? She isn't even a preteen? How long has she had this position? This is already too young! Poppy and Rika's relationship seemed very cute though, like big sister and little sister.

While exploring the mountain side a bit more, I also found another blue stake, the 2nd one I've found. Anyway that's all I have to report from the last hour of playing, normally I'd go longer but I'm going to bed. Ghost Gym next, then Fairy Star Raid, then Elite Four probably.

Ghost gym complete! So how did it go? It went very easy. I was overleveled. I had Pokemon in the 60s she had Pokemon in the 40s. And because I had two Pokemon that could deal w/ ghost types (grass cat and giraffe) the double battle thing didn't cause me trouble. It was cool though, having another double battle gym.

The gym test wasn't anything special. It's pretty much the normal gym test you take anyway in other games. Just Pokemon battles, they just happen to be double battles.

The gym leader herself is really cool, I like her. I love that her name is a pun. And she just seems like a really cool person to hang out with. :)

It did a bit more exploring before fighting her, this led me too climbing to the Highest Peak as well as visiting the mountain's Reach. I also did some exploring afterwards, including the area around the Fairy Star Base.

I find the location of this last base very interesting. Like the Fighting Base, it's very secluded. I can't help but wonder how they even found that spot. But then again I'm guessing that tower was already there before they took over the place so I suppose this area was already known about. But if this area was already known about you'd think that there would already be people living there. Like a fishing town or something.

Anyway It's a very pretty location, with all these flowers and I can see why it matches the theme of fairy type. A few funny things happened here and I haven't even gone to the door yet, just explored around the area.

One thing that happened, three Florges spawned on top of each other on one spot. So it was like a face above a face above a face. Set of arms above set of arms above set of arms. Very Biblical Angel. As soon as I got into a battle with one they split up though.

I caught a Alomomola, I take note of this because I realized something about the swimming mechanic. You see I noticed whenever Kori fell into the water, they'd be underwater for a moment before lifting up to the service. I also noticed how there are Pokemon underwater that you can't get too when you're just swimming like normal.

I wanted to catch one for my dex but they were all swimming underwater. I accidentally though got into a battle with a Pokemon swimming underwater when I had Kori jump into the water. I then realized I could apply this to those Pokemon swimming out of reach. Lo-and-behold it worked, and I caught one!

The last thing I went to mention before I go off and face the Fairy Base is that I've never tried just jumping in before, I always just ringed the bell like a good little kid. Well I decided to try it this time to see what happened. Basically the game told me, "don't do that, that's rude" and then put me on the outside again, well I guess I know now.

I took out the Fairy base now. The raid itself? Easy. Ortago? Also pretty easy. I had 10 levels on that guy. I was also using Clodsire and tera-ed him. His tera is poison, so I just started sweeping his fairy's with my Sludge Wave. I was slightly afraid he would use Tinkerton because it's immune to poison, altho I did have a plan for that (Earthquake) but none of them were resistant to poison.

I think it's neat that the Fairy guy has been taking lessons with a tutor. Guess it shows that he takes education seriously, it was even more interesting to find out his tutor was the former director of the academy.

So basically the bullying at the academy was really bad, and I guess the teacher's weren't doing shit about it. In particular it seems the deputy director was overlooking the bullying.

So when Team Star got together to confront their bullies some shit went down and the bullies dropped out. It really makes me wonder what exactly went down but because whatever it was, it was wild enough that like all the teacher's resigned, which is crazy.

And then the deputy scrubbed the records, which seems really illegal? And he got fired. But you'd think they'd put something back in the records for whatever happened. And it's not like every student dropped out. I honestly don't see why Clavell doesn't know anything. Hell, he could've asked the old director.

So Penny (because it was clearly Penny), wanted to take full responsibility for what happened because she was the Big Boss after all. I'm not sure if she told the school if she was the Big Boss. If she did it's the sort of thing that should have gotten on her record. If she didn't why would they put responsibility on to some random girl who wanted to take responsibility.

Team Star are called the victims, which isn't really incorrect. But at the same time depending on whatever they did at the school, they aren't without blame. Getting back at a bully is a way to become a bully yourself, but if they kept asking for help and got none, the people who should have helped are also at fault. This is a real big mess. Whatever they did, I'm sure there's a reason there are a bunch of nasty rumors about them.

So Penny is from Galar, I just think that's neat. And also the reason she was away is because she had to go back home as her punishment. And she's only just got back. I don't know if she had a way to contact the rest of Team Star or not over her time at home. If not it could maybe explain why the Big Boss went quiet. All the same though, she really should have told them off herself instead of this roundabout way of getting me to take them down for her.

So yeah Cass comes clean about being the Big Boss, real shocker and tells me and Clavell to meet her at school to battle her so I will. I know who I'll see when I get there, it'll be Penny. That will be next post. Penny, the rest of my classes, and the elite four maybe.

I hope the elite four is Poppy, Rika, Hassel, and Greta then I fight Nemona at the end. That would be cool because it would fit the other paths ending with me fighting my friend. But considering Greeta is "la prima" It might be Poppy, Rika, Hassel, Nemona and then I fight Greeta. This is assuming there isn't some other random Elite Four member I've just never met, if there is then I guess Nemona's fight will be unrelated to the Elite Four.

So yeah, see you then.

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet #pokemon sv #scarlet and violet #first playthrough #playthrough #live posting #shiny pokemon #shiny

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guvato · 4 months ago

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Tamalog Day 14

Day 14 started a bit chaotic during the morning, as Picochutchi and i went to the arcade and played a bit since she wasn't in much of a good mood, after that i fed her some Dim Sum and called the sitter. Mokokotchi woke up and was alright, didn't need much, so i just fed him a Bagel real quick and called the sitter for him as well, lastly, Kuchipatchi woke up and wanted to show me his girlfriend, wanting to marry her, but...i didn't know he would ask to go so quickly, and i haven't had the opportunity to get his care icon, so... i told him to stay, and his girlfriend got mad, leaving him sad at home, and i think i've never felt so bad for saying no before this. At least he didn't mind it later and was his usual happy self, i called the sitter for him and he seemed happy again.

Waking up at 4:45PM, i picked everyone up from the sitters and went on to start the day, but hey, Mokokotchi finally evolved, and he turned into Ginjirotchi, but he was looking different? I knew that i've seen him in a different colour before, but didn't mind much, who knows if there are Shiny Tamagotchi lol. He wanted to go to the arcade, so as i pressed the "go out" option, some ladies stopped us and told Ginjirotchi to go take a bath, turns out he was just dirty, hehe. After a well-needed bath, Ginjirotchi and i went to the arcade to play some football, that cheered him up real good and we used the money to get him some food at the restaurant, which he loved.

Picochutchi and Kuchipatchi didn't need much all day, i mostly just checked on em and when they needed something, i took care of it, it was a REALLY slow Tama Day, specially since i had woken up at 5PM lol. Picochutchi was feeling a little bored, so we went to the TamaVerse and gave new Tama Friends some hearts, after that, she was feeling all happy and cute as always. Kuchipatchi received the petting of a lifetime, i petted him and petted him until my boy was all hearts and finally i've received my Kuchipatchi Care Icon, which now i can finally let Kuchipatchi marry his love and won't feel bad about it since i've interrupted his plans enough.

Evening came and Ginjirotchi was feeling a little sad, so we played some more football and went to the restaurant for some cupcakes and soda to reward his good performance, also fed him Fried Chicken and Gratin and he was maxed out and feeling great, which is my goal at least once a day for every Tama. Picochutchi had some Dim Sum for dinner and ate some popcorn, after that i let her be until sleep time, i'm surprised she didn't ask for much today honestly. Kuchipatchi wanted some food, so i gave him a Burguer and a Cheese Dog satisfying his hunger, and since he was feeling all happy and sweet, i just waited until 9:30PM for my last check on each of them.

Surprisingly, Ginjirotchi wasn't the first to sleep, as his sleep schedule is at 10PM along with our other 2 Tamas, which is great cuz now we can have some more Tama Time (specially in days that i'm working or just want to watch some videos :D). I kept everyone in check and since none of them was in need of anything, i just waited for them to go to sleep, and when time came, Kuchipatchi was asking for me once again, and after some pets, he fell asleep. The other two just fell asleep quietly and ended this pretty short and simple Tama Day. I wish other devices had something like the Smart's "Wake up early" and "help fall asleep" features, they make you feel a bit more of a connection with your Tama and also it's something so cute and innocent about them wanting some attention to fall asleep that i can't help but just love it.

Sorry for no Social Media Picture again, my mind is basically mush today and i am forgetting to do a lot of basic stuff, i'll post both pictures that didn't get featured in Tamalogs this week in tomorrow's Tamalog, thank you for reading and i'll see you tomorrow. <3

#tama #tamagotchi #tamagotchi uni #tamalog #tmgc #tmgccollector #tamablr #tamagotchi pix #tamagotchi smart

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glowyjellyfish · 1 year ago

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The failure of William le Gacie

I finally finished fixing my medieval downloads folder on Wednesday! Turns out it was just me hitting my object mesh limit, and I just had to be patient and keep deleting stuff until it worked. It only took two YEARS to figure that out lolllllll... Honestly, there’s probably still a ton of random crap I’ll never use in there, which I will have to delete before I add any new shinies. Anyway, the Megakingdom of Simland is back on! …but first, I started that medieval legacy game I wanted so badly to play the other day, and it turns out… I’m really bad at this?

It started off okay. William le Gacie started his life, was placed in the Politics career, I discovered I seem to have a mod conflict of some kind as the only medievalized part of the career was the icon when it should be the job titles and descriptions as well… he worked on a little foraging and farming at home, then I installed my The Woods lot so he could do a little gathering on a community lot. Worked great, aside from a couple plants I apparently have in my 18th century downloads but not my medieval downloads. I will have to correct that, which will probably mean deleting a bunch of stuff first. Townies loved gathering in the Woods, and William met many of them.

One red-headed lady, Wren Wilde proved a bit elusive, and I wanted him to meet her! He’s attracted to red-heads and wasn’t keen on the other townie ladies so far! They finally met, hit it off with two bolts, and he quickly asked her to move in with the intent to marry her. Great! She got pregnant—also great! Just after she gave birth, though, I suddenly realized I never got them married. Whomp-whomp.

So firstborn son Ashton Wilde isn’t a proper heir. First problem. I immediately had him propose marriage, which she went through with but didn’t care for, as she turned out to be a romance sim. (And when I calculated her secondary, she was romance/pleasure. Sigh okay.) I had them doing a few romantic interactions after this… and she attacked him.

Like, I’m pretty sure I instructed her to make out with him? And I saw no making out and then they were a cloud of fighting dust.

So, cool! Great for stories, very dramatic! She’s probably angry that she had to quit her job, he made her have a baby for him, and then that baby wasn’t good enough and won’t inherit and they had to get married and he’s wiping her individuality from existence! They were very angry with each other and wouldn’t share the same bed, except when I directed them to casual WooHoo (and before long got her pregnant again, which is great for my legacy needs). I made him spend a lot of time stargazing with a telescope tree, because he needed some logic for work and I thought it would be an interesting story if he had a fae child and wanted to favor them over his illegitimate firstborn son. Didn’t work out that way, just made them both exhausted all the time.

At one point, Wren was miserable so I decided to invite over a townie friend she could seduce to make herself feel better. I directed her to pillow fight him because she had a want for that, and she attacked him instead. Do I have a bug or a bad mod or what? She wasn’t too far down in the red, she doesn’t have hot-headed or evil traits or anything that would make sense for her to be angry with her romantic interests. Damn good story in theory, but why is she doing that.

So yeah, they’re miserable, their two sons are miserable, I named the second son Alfred without thinking that I’d just given them both A names, I have no real rules planned and don’t know what my goals are aside from “basic legacy but a bit like an MCC, and nobody has a social class until somebody becomes king in the politics career”, so yeah! It feels like a fail!

(Okay okay, I did make up a rule about wells that said they had to dig until they struck water before a well could be placed. I like that.)

I’m also debating whether I really like playing with Hat’s proportionate aging mod. I LOVE what it does for a calendar and birthdates and all, don’t get me wrong. But I am worried it’s making things just take too damn long to really play in any style that wants generations to pass. I played for a full cycle of the seasons, and the oldest kid is just a toddler. Granted, it took them a minute to get pregnant in the first place, but still. I already have one downloads folder (my original collection, a modern mishmash) where I played with this age mod for a whole round in a megahood before getting tired and uninstalling it. I will have to think about it some more. And maybe separate out a medieval downloads folder with it and one without it.

#the sims 2 #sims 2 #simblr #ts2 #sims 2 medieval #ts2 medieval

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cyarskaren52 · 2 years ago

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https://www.etonline.com/a-timeline-of-tom-sandoval-and-raquel-leviss-cheating-scandal-ahead-of-vanderpump-rules-season?amp

A Timeline of Tom Sandoval and Raquel Leviss' Cheating Scandal Ahead of 'Vanderpump Rules' Season Finale

6:30 AM PDT, May 17, 2023

Anthony Dominic‍

In early March, Vanderpump Rules stars Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix announced the end of their relationship after being together since 2013 when she first joined the show. It wasn't long before news broke that Sandoval had cheated on Madix with their co-star, Raquel Leviss.

News of their split quickly sent shockwaves through the pop culture-obsessed world, and now fans are anxiously awaiting the season finale of Vanderpump Rules, where the cheating scandal -- now called Scandoval -- will be full-on addressed.

ET takes a closer look at how we got here.

Feb. 10, 2014 - Tom Scandoval and Ariana Madix Confirm Their Romance

Nearly 10 years ago, Sandoval and Madix confirmed their relationship during the season 2 reunion episode of Vanderpump Rules. The couple then went Instagram official on their accounts. (Madix has since deleted her Instagram.)

The couple got together after Sandoval learned his then-best friend, Jax Taylor, was secretly hooking up with his then-girlfriend, Kristen Doute.

It is believed Sandoval and Madix hooked up at least once while Sandoval was dating Kristen.

Jan. 28, 2019 -- Ariana Madix Hooks Up With Lala Kent

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The couple hit choppy waters when Sandoval outed Madix for hooking up with co-star Lala Kent. During a Vanderpump Rules episode, fans watched as Sandoval told a group of his male friends about the encounter and ran the story by Kent. Word got back to Madix who was very upset.

According to People, Madix shared in a confessional interview, "I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of what happened between Lala and I, but I do feel like Tom betrayed my trust by telling this story to his guy friends. My sexuality is not something that is meant to sound cool to a bunch of dudes."

May 16, 2021 -- Raquel Leviss Gets Engaged to James Kennedy

Wedding bells were ringing on the horizon. Vanderpump Rules stars James Kennedy and Raquel Leviss become engaged.

The pair took to Instagram to share the exciting news, alongside some stunning snapshots of the proposal, and Leviss' shiny new sparkler as well.

Leviss shared a group of photos from the big proposal event, which took place at the same location as where the Coachella Music Festival is held.

"James proposed at the iconic Empire Polo Fields of “RACHELLA” Friday night... and I said YES! I’m over the Coachella moon ✨🌵🌙 #RACHELLA," Leviss captioned the slideshow post.

Oct. 26, 2021 -- How Ariana Madix Feels About Marriage

Madix opened up more about her feelings on marriage. “I think the big thing for me is that I'm not really into the whole fanfare of it,” she said on Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen. “It's really more about the two people. So if it was just about us, you know, I honestly think I would be more open to it. I just don't want it to be like a big thing about having a giant wedding and a bachelorette party and all that bullsh*t.”

Nov. 16, 2021 -- Ariana Madix Freezes Her Eggs

During an episode of Vanderpump Rules, Madix revealed she froze her eggs. "This does not mean that I'm jumping on the baby train," she said. "It's about having agency over my own body and my own future. It's also kind of a nice fun 'f**k you' to anybody who questions my values or my choices."

Dec. 5, 2021 -- Raquel Leviss and James Kennedy Break Up

Kennedy and Leviss go their separate ways. The Vanderpump Rules stars took to Instagram to share that they were calling off their engagement. The surprising split came just six months after Kennedy popped the question.

"After these 5 wonderful years we had together, we decided we have two different goals and made the decision to call off the engagement," Kennedy wrote alongside of a photo of him and Leviss from what appears to be the Bravo reality TV show's set. "We love each other very much, but we aren’t in love anymore. We want nothing but the best for each other so please keep any thoughts positive. Sending Love."

Leviss shared the same photo and statement on her page, informing her followers of their split.

June 2022 -- Tom Sandoval and Raquel Leviss' Affair Begins

Multiple sources come forward to numerous outlets claiming that the affair between Sandoval and Leviss has been going on for at least several months, starting around June 2022.

"This has been going on for upwards of 6 months," a source claimed to People. "All the while, Tom was sleeping next to Ariana in bed."

The source told the outlet that Madix was "blindsided" by the cheating, and that "devastated doesn't even scratch the surface of how she feels."

A source for Page Six described as "an insider" told the outlet that Leviss "has slept over at Tom and Ariana’s house when Ariana’s been out of town," and that the affair began "last summer."

Jan. 9, 2023 -- Ariana Madix Denies Open Relationship With Tom Sandoval

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In a since-deleted tweet, Madix denied that she and Sandoval were in an open relationship after the season 10 trailer of Vanderpump Rules showed the couple confronted with the rumor, to which Madix tweeted, "We don't have an open relationship. I'm really not that cool. Thought that was obvious."

March 3, 2023 -- Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix Break Up

Sandoval and Madix call it quits.

A source close to production also confirmed to ET that cameras were back up and rolling as the drama played out, with plans to include the fallout of the breakup in season 10, which is currently airing on Bravo.

A source told ET, "Some cast members had suspicions that something went down with Sandoval and Raquel while filming, and are considering the split [as] confirmation."

Another source told ET, "Tom and Raquel’s incident has created a major split in the group with almost everyone against Tom and Raquel. The group feels like Tom has been going through some sort of midlife crisis, with the creation of his band and acting out at times. The girls are rallying around Ariana, but know in time she’ll be OK."

March 5, 2023 -- Tom Sandoval Breaks Silence About Breakup

Sandoval finally publicly addressed the news of their split and the cheating allegations in a lengthy Instagram post.

"Hey, I fully understand and deserve ur anger and disappointment towards me, but please leave Schwartz my friends and family out of this situation," he wrote, seemingly confirming the cheating allegations. "Schwartz specifically only found out about this very recently, and most definitely did not condone my actions. This was a very personal thing."

The 39-year-old reality star also urged fans to leave his bar, Schwartz and Sandy's, out of it, and stressed that his business partners and employees have done "nothing wrong."

March 6, 2023 -- 'Vanderpump Rules' Season 10 Reunion Confirmed

The Vanderpump Rules reunion is set to film in two weeks and Andy Cohen can’t wait. The Bravo boss confirmed on his SiriusXM Andy Cohen Live radio show that the reunion taping was quickly approaching.

"This is a reunion that's going to be… I'm girding my loins," he said.

March 6, 2023 -- James Kennedy Teases Scandoval on 'Vanderpump Rules'

James Kennedy returned to the set of Vanderpump Rules and gave a sneak peek of what fans can expect following Sandoval and Leviss’ affair.

The 31-year-old DJ posted a video to his Instagram Story on Monday, March 6, of himself, dressed in a sports coat, on the set of the hit Bravo show, ready to film an interview with the episode’s clapboard showing the scene labeled "#Scandoval." Bravo also shared a photo from the set.

A source tells ET, “James is loving every second of this and relishing in it. He was always known as the bad guy in their relationship, and he feels vindicated now. He was confused as to why Raquel stayed on the show after they broke up since she was a character through him. James always thought it was suspicious and didn’t know what her motive was. He felt like he was being used as a jumping-off point for her to get famous.”

“James knows he made mistakes in their relationship and that he wasn’t always the best boyfriend or fiancé, and he’s not denying that, but he is glad the world can see that she is not an innocent victim,” the source adds. “All the girls were rooting for Raquel to have her single girl era after her breakup with James and rallying around her and they are so disgusted and disappointed by her and Tom.”

March 7, 2023 -- Ariana Madix and Tom Sandoval are Never Getting Back Together

A source tells ET, "Tom and Ariana are telling friends they are totally done and aren’t getting back together."

"Ariana has no plans to get back with Tom after what he did to her and Tom is ready to move on," the source adds. "Ariana is devastated and feels betrayed, something she won’t be able to get over for a long time."

March 7, 2023 -- Raquel Leviss Sends Letters to Co-Stars

Raquel Leviss sent out legal letters to the Vanderpump Rules cast. After People reported that Ariana Madix learned of Tom Sandoval's alleged affair with Leviss by discovering a NSFW video of her on his phone, a source tells ET that Leviss is sending out legal letters to her co-stars in regard to the video.

"Raquel did send legal letters to several members of her cast," the source says. "There were a couple of variations of the letter depending on their involvement."

"Raquel did send a letter off to Tom Sandoval as well, letting him know not to show the video or distribute it, as well as to delete it," the source adds. "Raquel is hoping this letter will stop anyone from sharing or posting the video."

March 7, 2023 -- Tom Sandoval Faces Off With 'Vanderpump Rules' Producers

Sandoval drew a line in the sand with the producers of Vanderpump Rules, ET has learned.

The aspiring musician filmed a scene with Leviss following the explosive allegations that the two co-stars were having an affair for months, behind Madix's back.

A source tells ET, "Tom wasn't happy with how the scene went with Raquel and felt like it was going to paint him in a negative light. He told producers he'd like to re-film the scene, but producers weren't having it."

The source adds, "Tom told production that he would no longer shoot Vanderpump Rules if they don't listen to him."

In a since-deleted Tweet, former Vanderpump Rules star Jax Taylor says Sandoval is refusing to film.

March 7, 2023 -- Lala Kent Slams Cheating Scandal

Lala Kent continues to go scorched-earth on Sandoval and Leviss after their cheating scandal was exposed, calling him "weak" and two individuals she "never liked."

During an Amazon Live appearance to hawk her merchandise, the 32-year-old Vanderpump Rules star chimed in on whether she saw Sandoval's scandal coming and how she thinks Madix is holding up in wake of the cheating scandal.

"You'll see, you'll see," said Kent when a fan asked if she saw this scandal coming before, adding that Sandoval's "mask fell."

Kent also was asked if anyone is Team Sandoval in the wake of the scandal.

"No," Kent answered. "Maybe [Sandoval's business partner and co-star Tom] Swartz. I tried to tell y’all. He’s weak. I said it first. Did I not? I said it first."

March 7, 2023 -- Raquel Leviss Files Restraining Order Against Scheana Shay

Leviss filed a restraining order against her Vanderpump Rules co-star, Scheana Shay. ET confirmed that Leviss filed to seek court-ordered protection from Shay following an alleged altercation between the two women.

TMZ was first to report the filing, which comes amid the fallout from Leviss' alleged affair with Sandoval.

Leviss and Shay previously made an appearance on Watch What Happens Live where she addressed her controversial supposed kiss with Schwartz, telling host Andy Cohen, "I'm just trying to live my life and I'm sorry if that offends people but it's not going to stop me from doing what I'm going to do."

A source told People that, after the taping, Leviss admitted to her ongoing affair with Sandoval while speaking with Shay, who "was furious" about the confession and reportedly got physical with Leviss over it.

March 8, 2023 -- Tom Sandoval Addresses Cheating Scandal

Sandoval finally addressed Madix amid the cheating scandal that has rocked the Vanderpump Rules cast.

Sandoval shared a personal message on his Instagram, which he started by apologizing to "everyone I've hurt."

He then apologized to Madix, writing, "Most of all, I want to apologize to Ariana. I made mistakes, I was selfish, and made reckless decisions that hurt somebody I love. No one deserves to feel that pain so traumatically and publicly."

The restaurant owner and musician added that he feels "really horrible" for the impact of his actions on Madix and "everyone around us."

March 8, 2023 -- Raquel Leviss Breaks Silence

Raquel Leviss is coming clean. Amid allegations that she had a months-long affair with Tom Sandoval during his relationship with Ariana Madix, Leviss spoke out about the scandal in an exclusive statement to ET.

Read her statement in full:

"I want to apologize for my actions and my choices foremost to Ariana, and to my friends and the fans so invested in our relationships. There is no excuse, I am not a victim and I must own my actions and I deeply regret hurting Ariana.

I am reflecting on my choices, speaking to a counselor and I am learning things about myself such as my patterns of codependency and addiction to being and feeling loved. I have sought emotional validation through intimate connections that are not healthy without regard for my own well-being, sometimes negatively affecting others and often prioritizing the intimate connection over my friendships. I am taking steps to understand my behavior and make healthier choices.

Although I chose to be on a reality show accepting the good and bad that comes with it, beyond my own actions I have been physically assaulted, lost friendships, received death threats and hate emails in addition to having had my privacy violated.

I have begun counseling to end my unhealthy behavioral cycle, learn to set stronger emotional boundaries and learn to protect my mental health. I don't expect sympathy, understanding or forgiveness. Right now I must focus on my own health and well-being and as I strive to be a better person moving forward, I will prioritize my mental health and learn from my mistakes." - Raquel Leviss

March 8, 2023 -- Raquel Leviss Seen With Black Eye

ET has obtained photos of Raquel Leviss with a black eye and a cut on her eyebrow, injuries she claims she suffered at the hands of her Vanderpump Rules co-star, Scheana Shay, in the wake of her involvement in the Tom Sandoval cheating scandal.

The photos were submitted as part of Leviss' request for a temporary restraining order against Shay. According to the court documents, obtained by ET, Leviss claims the alleged altercation occurred on March 2 at around 1:30 a.m. but that nobody else was there to witness it.

In her request for the restraining order, Leviss claims she was "pushed against a brick wall causing injury to the back of head and punched me in the face causing injury to my left eye." She added, "currently, mutual friends-coworkers are telling me she doesn’t regret the physical attack on me and would do it again if she found that further emotional distress was caused to our mutual friend."

March 8, 2023 -- Lisa Vanderpump Addresses Scandoval

Lisa Vanderpump is speaking out about the highly publicized affair between Vanderpump Rules co-stars Tom Sandoval and Raquel Leviss. The reality star was a guest on an episode of Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen, where she addressed the scandal.

When asked for her initial reaction, Vanderpump said, "Gobsmacked."

She continued, "Flabbergasted. I mean, literally, no words. I didn't see it coming. Nobody saw it coming."

March 8, 2023 -- Raquel Leviss Gives Relationship Update

Leviss addressed the current status of her controversial relationship with Sandoval.

Following her exclusive statement to ET apologizing to Madix and sharing that she is in counseling for her "unhealthy behavioral cycle," Leviss released a second statement, addressing the status of her relationship with Sandoval.

"Besides the indefensible circumstances surrounding our relationship, my feelings for Tom have always been sincere and born out of a loving friendship," she wrote on Instagram. "I care for Tom and I don't want to label anything or predict what lies ahead... Right now I need to heal."

March 9, 2023 -- Oliver Saunders' Involvement With Raquel Leviss

Garcelle Beauvais has a sixth degree of separation when it comes to Scandoval! The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star's son, Oliver Saunders, found himself locking lips with Leviss during an episode of Vanderpump Rules.

Saunders, who is an employee at Vanderpump à Paris in Las Vegas, and Leviss' make-out was filmed last year and ended the recent episode of the Bravo series. According to Saunders' estranged wife, Samantha Saunders, they were still a couple when the kiss took place.

"We were together," she told ET. "I blame him. He was the married man. He chose to lie and cheat. Of course, I’m not happy with Raquel, but no, it’s his fault all this happened! It’s very traumatic for me. We had an amazing marriage and were best friends. He was a great stepdad and dad. Everything changed when he was so desperate for the camera and fame. He truly will do anything. It’s scary and sad."

ET has been told Oliver Saunders officially filed for divorce in January.

March 9, 2023 -- Scheana Shay Pushes Back on Restraining Order Claims

Scheana Shay is pushing back at claims made by Leviss in her recent filing for a restraining order.

Leviss' request for a temporary restraining order against Shay, filed on March 7, included photos of Leviss with a black eye and a cut on her eyebrow -- injuries she claims she suffered at Shay's hands.

Attorney Neama Rahmani, who is representing Shay, released a statement to ET, denying Leviss' accusations, both in regards to the photos she submitted and the claims she made in the documents regarding Shay and Leviss' alleged interaction.

"This case is a fabrication by a known liar and a cheat who has betrayed everyone close to her. Scheana never punched Rachel, period," Rahmani stated. "The supposed dark markings around her left eye have been there for months."

Rahmani's statement added, "Neither Scheana nor other cast members want anything to do with Rachel going forward. The judge has only heard a one-sided account of what happened, and we look forward to presenting the full and true story at the March 29 hearing."

March 15, 2023 -- Raquel Leviss Kiss Another Unavailable Man on 'Vanderpump Rules'

Vanderpump Rules is back, with the fallout from Leviss' kiss with Saunders taking center stage. On the episode, Leviss has a panic attack after Kent, Maloney and Kristina Kelly call her out for her behavior during their girls' trip to Las Vegas.

After confirming that she did in fact kiss Saunders, Leviss seems shocked that she's being judged for something she thought Kent gave her the OK to do.

March 16, 2023 -- Ariana Madix Speaks Out

Madix is speaking out following her split from Sandoval amid allegations that he had a months-long affair with Leviss.

Madix, who deactivated her Instagram after the allegations broke, returned to the platform to share her side of the story and thank the friends and Vanderpump Rules castmates who have been by her side and supportive in the aftermath.

Posting a photo of herself in a hot pink-and-green dress from a recent trip to Mexico for her friend's wedding, Madix started off the message writing, "Hi. Where to begin?"

Noting that she wanted to share her "most sincere gratitude" for the "outpouring of love and support" she's received since the news broke, Madix added, "When I have felt like I couldn’t even stand, you all have given me the strength to continue and seen me through my darkest hours."

The reality star continued, "To say I have been devastated and broken is an understatement. However, I know that I am not in this alone. So many of my closest friends are also grieving this loss right now and reeling from this betrayal on so many levels."

Madix concluded her message, writing, "What doesn't kill me better run."

March 16, 2023 -- Katie Maloney Addresses What Tom Schwartz Knew

Vanderpump Rules star Katie Maloney thinks the wool was pulled over her ex-husband, Tom Schwartz’s, eyes, by Sandoval and Leviss.

Maloney was on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live when host Andy Cohen asks her, “Do you think Schwartz was a pawn in all of this?”

“I do. Yeah, part of me believes he was duped, by both of them,” responds Maloney.

March 16, 2023 -- Kristen Doute Shares Text Messages From Tom Sandoval

Doute is giving Vanderpump Rules fans an inside look at the post-Scandoval aftermath. While appearing as a guest on Nick Viall's Viall Files podcast, Doute shared some of Sandoval's text messages to Madix after news of his months-long affair with Leviss. was revealed.

"I believe it was filmed -- he was just gaslighting her. The was no genuine apology. He was saying how she never supports him, she doesn't validate him," Doute said of Sandoval's apology to Madix, which she believes was filmed after Madix found out about the affair.

She added, "He was blaming her."

March 17, 2023 -- Ariana Madix Gears Up for Reunion

Madix has remained relatively quiet since the Vanderpump Rules scandal broke, but that’s about to change, ET has learned.

A source tells ET, "Ariana is getting ready for the Vanderpump Rules reunion. She's preparing herself and getting in the correct mindset for it. She is planning on coming in calm, cool, and collected, but also say her piece."

"She wants to send a huge message and make a big statement. Ariana has been staying quiet for the most part throughout all of this, but that's all going to change once the reunion starts filming. It’s going to be wild," the source adds.

Madix was spotted debuting a new look, after spending several hours at a hair salon. The reality star was all smiles after dying her hair blonde and cutting off several inches. The 37-year-old then went to Universal Studios with a friend to watch a movie.

Madix was photographed dancing and enjoying herself in Oaxaca, Mexico, attending a friend's wedding that was planned long before news broke earlier this month that Sandoval cheated on her with Leviss, ET has learned.

March 21, 2023 -- Ariana Madix Is Out and About

Madix is stepping out. Over the weekend, the Vanderpump Rules star made her first public appearance since Scandoval began.

An eyewitness tells ET that Madix appeared at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in Los Angeles for Make That Sandwich, a show where host Lindsay Ames gets friends to take turns listing ingredients to make a delicious sandwich, which she then makes live for them on stage.

At the event, Madix greeted an energized and eager audience, playing the sandwich-making gameshow alongside Andrea Jin, Michael Glazer, TikTok's Salt Hank, Fibula, and Ames' co-host, Brianna Sedor. This isn't Madix's first time on the show. She has played numerous times, and has supported the show for years as a pivotal player, which makes sense as her sandwich shop, Something About Her, is set to open soon.

March 22, 2023 -- Raquel Leviss Is Confirmed for Reunion

Leviss will come face-to-face with her Vanderpump Rules co-stars, ET has learned.

A source tells ET, “Raquel will be at the Vanderpump Rules reunion, in person. Raquel wants to be there to show her face and apologize to Ariana [Madix] in person.”

Sandoval and Madix called it quits on March 10, after cheating allegations between Sandoval and Leviss came to light.

March 22, 2023 -- Ariana Madix Takes Subtle Swipe at Raquel Leviss

Madix is not in the mood to answer questions about one Leviss -- especially while on a coffee run.

The 37-year-old was out in Los Angeles when a videographer asked her if Leviss has apologized for her and Sandoval's tryst and the subsequent fallout that's impacted just about everyone within the Vanderpump Rules orbit.

"I don't know who you're talking about," Madix shot back in video obtained by Page Six.

March 22, 2023 -- Raquel Leviss Returns to L.A. to Shoot Reunion

After spending time in Tucson, Arizona, with her family, Raquel Leviss is back in Los Angeles to film the Vanderpump Rules reunion, ET has learned.

Levis arrived at LAX after news broke that the reality star would come face-to-face with her Vanderpump Rules co-stars.

A source tells ET, "Raquel will be at the Vanderpump Rules reunion, in person. Raquel wants to be there to show her face and apologize to Ariana [Madix] in person."

March 22, 2023 -- What's Next for Ariana Madix

Madix is channeling the drama into her latest venture -- a Lifetime movie. The network announced the Vanderpump Rules star will have a role in the upcoming film, Buying Back My Daughter.

According to the network, the ripped-from-the-headlines film is "inspired by actual events of mothers who fight back when their teenage daughters go missing and are sex trafficked online."

Madix, 37, will play Karen, a police officer who helps investigate the case and has a personal connection to the story.

In addition to Madix, the film stars Roger Cross and Faith Wright. Meagan Good will pull double duty as both executive producer and one of the stars.

March 22, 2023 -- Raquel Leviss Attempts Reconciliation

Leviss is sharing the details of her attempted reconciliation with Madix following her affair with Sandoval.

Paparazzi caught up with Leviss outside of a nail salon in West Hollywood, ahead of the Vanderpump Rules reunion. In the video, obtained by TMZ, Leviss, who was dressed down in a hoodie and leggings, told the cameras that she tried to apologize to Madix for her part in the "Scandoval" of it all, but says it wasn't received well.

"We talked on the phone, and I apologized to her over text, but she didn't receive it very well," Leviss, who showed off a scar on her eyebrow she said was from her alleged altercation with Scheana Shay, said. While she said she preferred "not to say" when asked what Madix's response was, she maintained that apology was not received well.

March 23, 2023 -- Jax Taylor Says Tom Sandoval Has Cheated Before

Jax Taylor isn’t holding back! The Vanderpump Rules alum and his wife, Brittany Cartwright, were guests on Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen where he made an explosive claim about Sandoval.

Cohen asked Taylor if Sandoval has cheated on Madix before Leviss.

"Yes, 100 percent," Taylor said. "I told you I was there. Not only in the Miami situation -- and that was week one of their relationship by the way -- but yeah, there's been other times."

March 24, 2023 -- 'Vanderpump Rules' Reunion Films

The Bravo Super Bowl came and went. The Vanderpump Rules reunion was filmed in Los Angeles on March 23, and a source told ET that it was "going to be done like never before."

"So many logistics have gone into preparing for the event," the source shared. "Raquel [Leviss] and Scheana [Shay] will both be at the reunion but they are not allowed to be within 100 yards of each other."

The source added, "Each will film with the cast at separate times, and while either isn't filming, they will be off-set in a different location. There was discussion that they could possibly video call in while not on set, but due to the restraining order that Raquel filed against Scheana, they can't address one another."

March 24, 2023 -- The Future of 'Vanderpump Rules'

There’s no doubt Vanderpump Rules is having a resurgence, but the future of the show is unknown, ET has learned.

After seeing how the reunion played out, a source tells ET that the creative team behind Vanderpump Rules is trying to figure out where the show goes next.

Meetings are on the books to discuss the series' future. It has not yet been renewed for season 11. In the next few weeks, they are "going to be floating different ideas to move forward," the source says. "Maybe an after-the-storm way, focusing on [Katie and Ariana’s sandwich shop] Something About Her, and going that route, not focusing on this drama."

What's more, production might have issues with filming. ET has learned that "Ariana said that, unless absolutely necessary, she won’t film with Tom Sandoval. She stated her feelings [at the reunion] and now it’s time to untangle herself from Tom."

March 24, 2023 -- Ariana Madix Addresses Scandoval (Sorta)

Madix could care less about Sandoval and Leviss.

In a video obtained by Page Six, the Vanderpump Rules star is asked about Sandoval and Leviss spending time together after filming the reunion and following news breaking that Sandoval cheated on Madix with Leviss.

"What are your thoughts about Raquel and Tom hanging out right after the show," the paparazzi ask.

"I don’t know what they do. I don’t follow that," says Madix.

"Do you care at all what they did? Them hanging out," he says.

"At this point, I don’t care about anything either of them does," the 37-year-old reality star fires back.

March 27, 2023 -- Does Tom Sandoval Have Regrets?

Sandoval was out in Southern California's San Fernando Valley when the paparazzi asked him, "If you could go back and change everything that happened, would you? Would you go back and change it?"

"Hindsight's always 20/20, man," Sandoval responded. "Like, you're looking to hindsight, like, looking back at, like, when you handle a situation, like, yes, I could have handled things way better."

The reality star was also asked why he felt he was getting so much heat since the cast has always had dramatic situations like this.

"I just think it was really unexpected," he said.

March 28, 2023 -- Tom Sandoval and Raquel Leviss Spotted 'Under Covers Together'

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Kent was on SiriusXM’s Jeff Lewis Live, and revealed that at one point someone recalled "opening the doors and seeing Sandoval and Raquel under covers together" when he was in a relationship with Madix. The cast member then thought, "'This is weird but they’re just best friends.'"

Kent doesn’t give away who caught the two in the compromising position but says it was off-camera at a party.

She goes on to tell Lewis that she did not tell Madix about anything because the two "haven’t been close for a while." However, she said she did tell Shay.

Kent says Shay confronted Madix, Leviss and Sandoval but they all said nothing was going on.

March 29, 2023 -- Raquel Leviss' Restraining Order Dismissed

Leviss' temporary restraining order against Shay has officially been dismissed, ET learned. Leviss and her attorney didn’t show up to court for their hearing and the judge dismissed the TRO.

Shay's attorney, Neama Rahmani, who refers to Leviss by her legal name, Rachel, told ET, "This isn’t reality TV. This is the real world and Rachel’s actions have real consequences. Rachel filed a false police report, a false medical report, and a frivolous petition for a restraining order. Scheana didn’t punch Rachel. Rachel didn’t get a black eye. Scheana pushed Rachel but only after Rachel grabbed her wrist, and Rachel did not suffer a concussion."

He added, "When Rachel realized that she would lose in court and that she couldn’t just drop it, she decided to not show up at all. We were prepared to expose Rachel’s lies, but instead she will have to live knowing that she betrayed two of her best friends: Scheana and Ariana. Instead of accepting responsibility for her actions, Rachel shamefully tried to misuse our justice system to shift blame to Scheana. We are happy that Scheana is now vindicated."

TMZ reports Shay and her lawyer were at the courthouse.

March 31, 2023 -- Scheana Shay Teases Reunion

The Vanderpump Rules cast filmed their highly anticipated reunion and Shay is giving fans a glimpse into what went down.

On an episode of Dear Media’s Scheananigans With Scheana Shay, the reality star sat down with her co-star, Kent, to discuss the VPR reunion, how Madix handled herself, and how Shay is doing after the restraining order Raquel Leviss filed against her was dismissed.

"I thought Ariana handled herself so well. Like, she sat back and looked insanely hot and amazing and just f**king sliced with her words. So good. It was beautiful to watch," Kent says about the reunion.

"So good. I really enjoyed watching that. It was just, there was no response, like, there was nothing Raquel could have said back to her because she just assassinated her every time," Shay adds.

April 3, 2023 -- Andy Cohen Announces Extended 'Vanderpump Rules' Reunion

Cohen says the Vanderpump Rules reunion has so much action that Peacock is planning to release "extended" versions.

On SiriusXM's Andy Cohen Live, Cohen shared some insight into the highly anticipated season 10 reunion and described the day as a "real reckoning."

The Bravo boss said he filmed one-on-one interviews with Madix, Sandoval and Leviss. The television special will be one of the first times fans of the reality series will see Madix come face-to-face with her ex-boyfriend and her ex-friend after it was revealed that Sandoval and Leviss were allegedly having an affair for several months while he was with Madix.

"I did separate one-on-ones with Tom, Ariana and Raquel, so that I could get all of their stories just in conversation with me, because I had a sense that I wasn't-- now, by the way, I re-asked a lot of the stuff in front of the group, but wanted to get everyone-- and I also, I had things that I had ... my own concerns, I had my own things I wanted to confront them about, things that I had noticed," he said. "I got to do that, so that's how we started and then we brought them in as a group, OK?"

April 3, 2023 -- Ariana Madix's Revenge Dress

Talk about a revenge look! Ahead of the highly anticipated Vanderpump Rules season 10 reunion, Bravo released a photo of Madix's outfit for the special -- and it's fierce!

After her breakup from Sandoval amid his cheating scandal with Leviss, and following her "Boys Lie" style statement, Madix is showing her ex what he's missing in a red cut-out gown that puts her abs on full display.

"Prepare the group chat🚨 #PumpRules Reunion looks just dropped," read Bravo's caption for the post, which also included a pic of Lala Kent's ensemble for the VPR reunion.

April 5, 2023 -- Tom Sandoval Won't Leave the House

Kent is sharing the latest update on the drama between Madix and her ex, Sandoval, following his alleged affair with Leviss. In an episode of Kent's Give Them Lala podcast, the Vanderpump Rules star revealed that Sandoval still won't leave the house he and Madix share together.

"Sandoval won’t leave the house. I don’t know if he will now, but for a very long time he was like, 'I plan on being here all week and I plan on using every room in the house,'" Kent shared, before claiming that Madix no longer had a "safe" space to mentally "recharge" amid the drama.

Meanwhile, Doute shared more on the pair's living situation on her own podcast, Sex, Love and What Else Matters.

"He walked in, and he was like, 'Yeah, I know everyone hates me,'" Doute recalled of being at Sandoval and Madix's shared home post-scandal. "And I volunteered myself as tribute and I said, 'I’m going to go upstairs and I'm going to make sure he’s not staying.'"

She continued, "We did go upstairs, and I have to respect that they share that home, legally he's allowed to be at that house. So I reminded everybody that the best thing we can do right now is respect what the laws are."

April 5, 2023 -- Raquel Leviss Pursues Tom Schwartz on 'Vanderpump Rules'

In this episode of Vanderpump Rules, Leviss continues her pursuit of Schwartz, despite his ex-wife, Maloney's, insistence against it.

Ahead of Shay's wedding in Mexico, the group prepares for a white party, happening around one of the resort’s pools. And while it's Leviss who engages in the liplock with Schwartz, it's Shay who once again urges the action, with the soon-to-be bride telling Sandoval that she "wants Schwartz to make out with someone at the wedding."

Madix, Sandoval's then-girlfriend, calls Schwartz over to the group. Leviss is not far behind and appears to join the tail end of the convo, just after Shay asks Schwartz if he’s going to make out with anyone over the weekend.

"I can literally see Raquel’s ears perk up at the sound of Schwartz saying he’s going to make out with someone," Madix says in an interview, while jokingly imitating a dog with its ears up.

April 5, 2023 -- Tom Schwartz Breaks His Silence

In a new appearance on Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen, Schwartz said that the alleged months-long affair between his friend and business partner started as a one-night stand.

Schwartz admitted that he found out about Sandoval's hookup with Leviss in August, but he didn't find out about the alleged affair until January.

"It was like a crisis -- midlife crisis," Schwartz explained. "And what happened in the fall, there's a lot of gray area there. Apparently not though. I didn't think it was a linear thing. From my point of view, it became an emotional affair, which is still inappropriate."

What's more, Schwartz revealed that in Sandoval's confession, he admitted to the affair and that he was "in love" with Leviss.

"I didn't think it was a linear thing, but in January, Tom came to me -- he came to me in January -- and he told me that he's in love with Raquel," he added.

April 6, 2023 -- Tom Schwartz Is Slammed by His Co-Stars

Schwartz got through the Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen hot seat, but now he has to deal with Maloney and Kent.

The reality star was put on the spot Cohen grilled him about Sandoval and Leviss' affair.

When Cohen asked Schwartz if he wanted to say anything before the show ended, the 40-year-old reality star said, "If you see [Tom], maybe give him a hug even if he doesn't deserve it. Give him a hug. He's down bad."

Schwartz’s attempt at kindness didn’t sit well with his ex-wife, Maloney, who quickly responded Wednesday night on Twitter, saying, "You’re the only [one] that wants to hug him dude. READ THE ROOM!!!"

Kent also took to her Instagram Stories to give her thoughts on Schwartz discussing Sandoval and Leviss on WWHL.

"Did Schwartzy really just say, 'If you see Sandoval in the street, give him a hug?' We're atomic wedgie-ying his a**. We're punching him straight in the dick," she said, adding "Every time I sit here and say, 'I'm over Scandoval. I don't want to see it anymore.' One of those fu**ing people just meets another level of buffoonery. And here I am. Here I am having to school more motherf**kers on life. What Schwartz said has made me need to smack my vape 500 times and I can't f**king find it!"

April 11, 2023 -- Tom Sandoval Details First Kiss With Raquel Leviss

Sandoval is detailing his first kiss with Leviss. The Vanderpump Rules star was a guest on the Howie Mandel Does Stuff Podcast, and opened up in detail for the first time about the start of his affair with Leviss, which began amid his nearly decade-long romance with Madix.

Sandoval explained that, over the last year, he began to "feel trapped" in his relationship with Madix and realized that he needed to "make a change to feel alive again, to feel motivated, to feel optimistic again."

Enter Leviss, who came along "at the worst time ever" for Sandoval because he was "yearning for a connection."

April 12, 2023 -- Scheana Shay Shows Off Her Photoshop Skills

Shay and her photoshopping skills are erasing Leviss from an important moment.

Shay was on the Undressed With Pol’ and Patrik podcast and said after it was revealed that Leviss and Sandoval had an affair behind Madix’s back, she had to remove Leviss from her wedding photos.

"I decided to edit all my wedding photos and put Lala [Kent]’s face on Raquel’s," Shay said. "I had to. I don’t want that b***h in my photos."

Leviss and Madix both served as bridesmaids at Shay’s wedding to Brock Davies in Mexico in August 2022.

April 14, 2023 -- Raquel Leviss Checks Into Facility for Mental Health Treatment

Leviss has checked into a mental health treatment facility, ET has learned.

Leviss' rep tells ET, "Raquel and her family decided before the relationship was discovered that she would enter a voluntary facility for mental health counseling."

Her rep adds that Leviss had planned to admit herself before the VPR reunion was taped on March 23. "She was scheduled to go in pre-reunion but decided she wanted to finish her filming commitment," says the rep. "Bravo and production were aware and in support of her journey towards better mental health."

Leviss' rep notes that she is not in rehab for substance abuse issues.

April 20, 2023 -- Ariana Madix Has a New Man

Madix and Daniel Wai are an item. After their Coachella romance, a source tells ET that the Vanderpump Rules star and fitness trainer have been "casually dating" for a month and met at a wedding in Mexico.

Madix was photographed dancing and enjoying herself in Oaxaca, Mexico, in March, which is where she met Wai, and they "really hit it off." Madix planned to attend the wedding long before news broke last month that her ex, Sandoval, cheated on her with Leviss.

ET is told that since the wedding, Madix and Wai have been "having fun" and "right now the two are casually hanging out with no label."

April 30, 2023 -- Lisa Vanderpump and Ariana Madix Address Scandoval

Madix was joined by Lisa Vanderpump at the White House Correspondents Association Dinner at the Washington Hilton in Washington, D.C., and the reality stars spoke with ET about the rollercoaster year thus far.

"Normally, the magic of this show is the ups and the downs... the authenticity of the show," Vanderpump shared with ET. "When people talk about their real lives and their feelings, it's what keeps people engaged."

"There's a lot of people that have tried to mimic us and tried to create shows but without the authenticity of real friendship," she continued. "That's why it hurts, that's why people bleed for Ariana. Because they were invested in real relationships, and that's what people are talking about."

When asked about the show itself, and the stability of those real friendships, Vanderpump said, "Right now it's a mess. I don't know if we can sort it out."

That being said, the ongoing drama has taught Madix something about herself. "[I've learned] that I can do anything," she shared. "I can handle anything."

May 7, 2023 -- Tom Sandoval Announces He's Sober

While performing with his band, Tom Sandoval & The Most Extras, at The Space at Westbury in New York, the Vanderpump Rules star announced that it's been one month since he's had a sip of alcohol.

"It's been one month since I've had my last drink of alcohol," Sandoval told the crowd, according to a video obtained by TMZ. "I'm just taking a little break for a second."

Sandoval celebrated the moment by taking a sip of his own beverage, which he clarified was a Heineken 0.0, a non-alcoholic beer.

May 11, 2023 -- 'Vanderpump Rules' Reunion Trailer Drops

Sandoval and Leviss go toe-to-toe with Madix and the rest of the Vanderpump Rules cast after the two co-stars were exposed having a months-long affair.

Bravo released the explosive trailer for the season 10 reunion of Vanderpump Rules and it's jam-packed with tears, yelling, and a heated argument between Sandoval and Kennedy that almost turns physical.

In the trailer, a crying Madix says "can't think of two worse people," and "she doesn't see anything good coming for those f**king rats," referring to Leviss and Sandoval amid their cheating scandal.

For more on #Scandoval, check out the links below.

RELATED CONTENT:

'VPR' Preview: Raquel Leviss Has Sex with Tom Sandoval in Her Car

'VPR' Reunion Trailer: Tom and Raquel Face Off With Ariana and Cast

Why Katie Maloney Thinks Raquel Leviss and Tom Sandoval Should Date

Lala Kent Shuts Down 'Vanderpump Rules' Fan Theory About Scandoval

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jojirarambles · 3 years ago

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Gonna analyze the JP rex’s behavior because fuck it

Okay for my first post on Tumblr I decided I’m gonna go on an analysis of Rexy’s behavior during the first Jurassic Park’s breakout scene because why the hell not. Don’t worry I’m a biologist in training, I know what I’m talking about (not really).

Okay, first a dumb nitpick. The iconic scene with the water tremors is... Really not what would happen. The T.rex is big, but not so big to make the ground literally shake. Elephants are well known to sneak up on people with ease and they’re just a bit smaller than a T.rex.

With that out of the way, the actual breakout scene: She rips out the wires, steps out and gives us the money shot with a cool pose and a mighty roar... Except not quite. She first takes a look around, THEN she lets out that iconic roar we all love. If you ask me, I think she’s probably announcing her presence. She’s knowingly leaving her territory and entering an area she doesn’t know, so she checks if that spot is already taken by telling any other potential Tyrannosaurs she’s coming through.

Oh, but then the mayhem starts! Nope, she just... Leaves. There’s no immediate response, so she’s got green light to just explore this new environment. Really, she didn’t actually want anything to do with humans, at most she nudged the car out of curiosity. Everyone would have made it safe and sound...

Until Lex turns the god damn light on. I guess she was trying to catch Alan and Ian’s attention? Which good job girl, you also caught the attention of a 7 ton predator. Way to gp.

So good old Rexy decides to investigate, and curiously she just seems to be generally aware that the light is coming from somewhere around the area since she’s not really looking at the car.

That is until Tim closes the door.

Well kids, you got her full attention now. So she starts inspecting the car. Like, really inspecting it, sniffing it around to try and get a good sense of what this weird, shiny thing is.

And that’s when she sees there’s something inside. I don’t think she fully understands there’s food in there yet, she’s probably still seeing the car as a whole, but there’s definitely something weird about it, so she roars and tries to get a reaction.

Then she sees the kids moving inside, and she nudges the car. That’s when the kids start screaming and moving all erratically, with Tim trying to wrestle the light out of his sister’s hands and screaming at her to turn it off.

Of course Rexy is seeing and hearing all of it, and that’s when she realizes there’s definitely food in there, plus all that sudden movement and screaming must be sending her predatory instincts into overdrive.

And have you ever seen any video or photo of a big cat in a zoo trying to get a treat out of one of those enrichment balls?

Yeah.

Luckily for the kids there’s a thick enough panel of glass between them and those banana sized teeth, so she can’t get them that way. But that’s fine of course, because there’s always plan B. What’s plan B you ask?

Well flip the car over of course. The top of the thing is armored, so maybe its underside will be softer? That’s how a lot of animals work, there’s a reason predators start eating their prey’s guts a lot of the time, so the logic is sound.

She then bites the tire too, I’m guessing out of curiosity or trying to test different spots. Of course the tire gets completely pierced by the teeth, freeing a lot of air... And making noise, which catches Rexy’s attention... And makes her bite it again.

She gets completely side tracked by the tire and starts trying to tear it off, and I honestly think here she’s just playing and has completely forgotten about the snack.

Not that the kids are in any less peril anyways, with an animal the size of an elephant crushing the car they’re currently trapped in with its sheer size alone. Thankfully Alan’s quick thinking and knowledge of animal behavior are here to save the day!

He grabs a flare and lights it on. This catches Rexy’s attention, because new weird sparkly thing. Then, he throws the flare back into the paddock, and Rexy follows it because she really wants to check out what the hell that new weird thing is. That’s it folks, the day is saved!

Right. For some reason, Ian decides to grab another flare and light it up too. This obviously catches Rexy’s attention because hey, another weird sparkly thing! Then Ian starts running with the flare, and throws the flare while running. The thing is, the point of the flare is giving Rexy a new target to check out, but if you start running and screaming then you become a target. A target that acts an awful lot like prey at that.

So Ian runs straight to the toilet for some reason, and Rexy lunges at him, running her head straight into the small hut because let’s be real, that thing wouldn’t be able to withstand a full charge of something that big lol.

Anyways, the whole thing comes crashing down, leaving poor Gennaro exposed. Now something that’s interesting here is that she doesn’t instantly eat him, she actually checks him out at first! She’s actually curious about him, tilting her head like a quizzical dog.

And eats him. So long for the whole “won’t see you if you don’t move” thing I guess.

Fortunately Gennaro being eaten alive gives Grant enough time to get Lex out of the car (which he would have had even if Ian hadn’t tried to be a hero anyways but I digress), but before he can get Tim, Lex screams. This obviously catches Rexy’s attention, who must be having the time of her life with all this stimulation and she comes back to the car.

We get this scene where she’s supposedly not seeing Grant and Lex because they’re not moving, but IIRC the Lost World novel retconned that to her just not being hungry anymore and honestly I’m gonna roll with that because even if she didn’t see them there’s no way she didn’t smell them. I think she just lost interest in humans after eating a goat and a lawyer, especially when she has a much bigger toy right there!

I honestly think she’s not even trying to get Tim out and eat him anymore, the way I see it she’s just playing around with the car, pushing it around and generally just dicking around with it for the hell of it.

Then she pushes it off a magically appearing cliff like your cat knocking over that one glass at the edge of your kitchen table, either because she wants to get rid of the used toy or simply because she thinks it’s funny. Or because Spielberg didn’t tell her there was suddenly a cliff where she had just walked off. Then she gives one final roar to the camera, which is probably just for cinematic effect tbh.

So... Yeah, that’s all. As you can see, one of the best things of the scene is that the T.rex is... Just an animal. It’s not a movie monster going on a rampage, everything it does is completely normal animal behavior. This is big part of what makes the scene just so good and tense. It just feels real, you can actually believe the protagonists are being put in danger by a wild animal. Because, at the end of the day, that’s what dinosaurs are. Just animals.

Unlike mister “wants to watch the world burn” over here.

#jurassic park #jurassic world #tyrannosaurus #t. rex #scene analysis #animal behavior #if i see another person say jurassic park's dinosaurs have always been monsters?#i'm gonna fucking lose it

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wardenparker · 2 years ago

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You’re So Vain - Chapter 5

Dieter Bravo x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Oscar winning star Dieter Bravo’s reputation is suffering after the debacle of “Cliff Beasts 6″ and “Beasts of the Bubble”, so his management team has signed him on to a publicity stunt to find his soulmate and show the world a softer side of the erratic and unpredictable star. The plan quickly go awry, though, when Dieter’s soulmate wants nothing to do with him.

Rating: Teen. But this blog is *always* 18+ Word Count: 7.7k Warnings: *Blanket warning for chronic illness, cursing, and deceased family members. This is a Dieter fic, folks, so there absolutely will be discussions of drugs, drug use, and addiction.* Enemies to lovers, fake dating, alcohol consumption. Summary: On your third date with Dieter, Libby insists that you post a kiss on social media. Notes: Sorry for being a little late with this chapter today guys, chronic illness is a bitch. Thanks for reading!

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4

It’s rare that Nora goes to daycare this summer, but today Steph is getting ready for work at the same time you’re getting ready for your dreaded third date with Dieter. Luckily Libby didn’t seem to know about the way the last date ended and she was nothing but cheery on the phone two days ago. Disney, she had told you in that voice that said there was more than just the Happiest Place on Earth in store for you. The dreaded part of this date comes in the form of your mandatory display of affection: a kiss in front of the iconic castle that will be posted all over his social media and the Mate Marks ad campaign. The last thing in the world you want to do is kiss him, but as Steph has pointed out: you’re getting a day at Disney out of it. Hopefully that will be some kind of comfort when you’re compulsively brushing your teeth later tonight.

“Why do I have to pick her up?” It’s been weeks since he’s seen you and honestly, it’s probably better that way. He kind of feels like a jackass for what he said but he also doesn’t believe that pathetic excuse for an apology was good enough either. Libby sighs - a long suffering sound that makes Dieter almost believe that he might get his way. Until she answers him. “Because you two need to ride together, Dee. You can’t show up at Disneyland in different cars. Just— the last date went well. Pick her up, enjoy the park, kiss her, and bring her home.” She tells him sternly, already having dealt with him whining about wanting to smoke weed again. “Fine.” He rolls his eyes and grabs his keys off the counter. “This better work. Because I’d rather give myself a circumcision than fucking deal with more insults.” He huffs.

******

You got antsy waiting for it to be time and ended up volunteering to get Nora loaded into her car seat to help Steph out. She's fighting you on it today, asking over and over why she can't spend the day with you, and you're so close to calling and asking to postpone the start of the day when Dieter's car pulls into the driveway.

Dieter anticipated staying in the car, but he could hear the little girl’s loud protests and see the flailing limbs from the driver’s seat. Climbing out, he walks over to the shiny SUV, hooks his arm over the door and peers in the space between it and the car’s frame. “Hey, squirt.”

"Deedee!" Nora practically screeches, propelling herself out of her car seat yet again to grab for a hug. "Deedee tell Auntie Gigi that is 'sokay for me to stay home today!"

He grins and reaches out to hug her, looking around and giving the little girl a shrug. “You gonna stay home all alone?” He asks. “Momma’s gotta work and Gigi’s gotta go do boring adult stuff.” He rolls his eyes playfully like going to Disney is the worst. Not that she knows that’s where you’re going.

"How boring?" She asks, as though she's suspicious that he could ever be involved in something boring. The only times she's ever seen him, something big and cool always happens like her mother getting a big, new, shiny car.

“Reallllllllly boring.” Dieter huffs, giving the little girl a great big pout. “Boring enough that she probably wants to go with you to play with your friends.” He had no doubt you would rather be with Nora than with him, so he’s not lying.

"I'll be back tonight, sweetie." You promise her, hoping you can just get her to settle down long enough to get her buckled in before Steph comes out of the house. "You always have so much fun at day care, I know you're going to have so much fun with your friends." It's neither here nor there that you would much rather be at home with her like any other normal day.

“I wanna go with you!” She huffs, trying to throw off her straps. Frowning and on the verge of a meltdown.

Dieter raises a brow and smirks as you blow out an exasperated breath. “Tell you what, squirt.” He grabs her attention, apparently the nickname tickles her. “If you are good for your Gigi and go to day care with your friends like a good girl, I’ll make sure you get a treat tonight when Gigi comes home. Whadya say?”

Bribery isn't necessarily your favourite tactic with Nora, but she seems intrigued by the offer and it might be the only way to avoid a full meltdown, so you don't argue the point while she considers. Her little mouth is set in a pout but she definitely understands the concept of bargaining better than the average four-year-old. "'Kay," she agrees finally, flopping backward and allowing you to finally buckle her in safely.

“’Kay.” Dieter sasses her with a wink that makes her giggle. Happy that at least one of the women in his life is happy with him. He likes her, even if he’s only met her twice. She’s a cool little kid and he vibes with that.

"Dieter!" Steph comes outside a second later, smiling and looking relaxed since you were the one who wrestled with her willful little minion today instead of her. "How are you, honey?" She knows all of what happened at the concert, but she has also made it known that your apology was fairly half-assed in her opinion, and she's decided that Dieter Bravo is okay in her book. At least unless he does something truly horrific - but she doesn't think that's very likely to occur considering how kind he's been to her and Nora.

“Hey sweetheart.” Dieter comes over and gives Stephanie a hug. “I’m doing alright, how’s everything here?” He would ask you, but he doesn’t want to. He would rather talk to someone who actually likes him.

"Everything's really good." She's all smiles this morning, clutching the travel mug of coffee in her hand. "My folks are coming down for a visit next week to see their grandbaby for her birthday so we're just cleaning the house and getting the guest room ready. It will be nice to see them."

“That’s good.” Dieter nods and looks over at Nora. “Birthday, huh?” He asks, sending her another wink. “What are you asking for?”

"Shoes that light up!" Nora tells him excitedly, swinging her feet now that she's secure in her seat. "And a cowgirl hat. I wanna wear them every day in kin-dee-garters."

He nods seriously. “As you should.” He tells her sagely. “That would be really cool.”

"She's excited for big girl school," Steph laughs. "I can't believe she's already old enough for kindergarten." With a shake of her head and a shrug of her shoulder, Steph leans in to give Dieter another hug. "Say goodbye to Deedee and Aunt Gigi, Nora. We gotta go."

"Bye-bye Deedee!" She crows, all waves and with every ounce of sadness she had felt just minutes ago completely gone. "Bye-bye Auntie Gigi!"

“Bye, sweetie." You lean into the car to give her a kiss before backing up again, waving as Steph double checks her seat and shuts the door to hop behind the wheel.

Dieter waves to Nora and gives her a big thumbs up as they back out of the driveway. Once they are driving away, the smile slides off his face and he turns to walk back to his car.

"Hi." It takes all your strength not to roll your eyes or grumble at him as you quickly swipe up the ridiculous, white sequined Minnie Mouse backpack that Libby sent for you to use today. It arrived with matching white sequined sneakers and a flowy tank top and shorts that will show off every single bit of the ink that Dieter has put on your skin over the years.

“Hey.” His own response is flat, and he lifts a brow at your outfit. Happy that Libby hadn’t dressed him for going to fucking Disney. He had gotten to wear what he wanted. A pair of his plaid shorts and a plain t-shirt with a hat. The only thing she had argued with him on was his crocs, so he was wearing Converse sneakers instead. “Ready?” He asks, opening the car door.

“There’s something I want to say before we go.” Standing there clutching that stupid little backpack makes you feel juvenile, but you don’t want to wait and say this in the middle of a crowded amusement park just in case it goes badly. The last thing you need is another too-public humiliation. You don’t huff, or sigh, or grumble - just square your shoulders and hold your chin up high. Be a goddamn adult about it, you remind yourself. “I’m sorry. I passed judgement on something I knew nothing about, and that was as unfair to you as it was unkind. Even if your tattoos had nothing to do with a family member that passed, I still should have asked instead of assuming.” The last couple of weeks have been filled with a lot of introspection and a lot of Steph lovingly kicking your ass as you kicked hers right back, but you hadn’t told Libby that you planned to apologize. Only promising her that you would be on your best behavior because you really can’t predict Dieter’s reactions. “I can’t undo what I’ve said, but I am apologizing for it and telling you that I’m going to do better.” Ultimately, your bullshit is your own. He won’t be in your life anymore after a few more of these dates, but one day you’re going to have to look Nora in the eye and tell her it’s time to be the bigger person or apologize for doing something wrong, and you can’t rightfully do that if you can’t do it yourself.

Dieter feels himself freeze in shock. They are words he never expected to hear from you. Sure, you have that immediate little apology when he slapped you with the truth, but he hadn’t expected you to actually acknowledge what you had done. “Um, thank you.” He clears his throat and looks over towards the house for a second before he looks back at you. Actually meets your eyes. “I’m sorry for embarrassing you. I just— I was angry and hurt.” He shakes his head and sighs. “But it wasn’t right either, and I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted. Thank you.” It’s awkward - it’s very awkward - but you put your hands out to do what Steph suggested. After you apologize, give him a hug. It’s not like you’ve never touched him before, it’s just never been willingly.

Now he’s wondering what the hell is going on. Eyeing you warily, he doesn’t see a knife or an ice pick in your hands and Dieter is enough of a secret affection whore that he’s stepping closer to you. Reaching out and accepting the hug.

It only lasts a second or two, but it's still there, and it doesn't instantly cause you psychic damage or whatever like those games that your brother used to play. "Okay, um...ready to go?"

“Disney, here we come.” Dieter says, only being a little sarcastic. “A least Nora didn’t find out that’s where we’re going.”

"She would have rioted," you laugh, getting into the car. "Daycare can never compare to the magic of Disney."

“Of course it can’t.” Dieter chuckles. “Steph sent me a picture of her first time. Looked like she was in love with it.”

"She was." Once you're both in the car, he wastes no time backing out of your driveway and heading back out to the highway. The half hour drive to Anaheim should fly by if you can keep your resolve to behave. "She has added princess to her list of future careers, right under cowgirl and fairy."

“Solid job considerations.” Dieter jokes, merging with traffic smoothly. “Children should always be encouraged to explore their passions.”

"Right now the sky is the limit for her in terms of dreams. It's just getting her health under control so that nothing else will stand in her way." She's doing better, at least, and hasn't had to go to the hospital in two whole months which is an extreme improvement over the beginning of the year.

“Yeah.” Dieter frowns, wondering what would be down the line for her. He may have read some articles on her disease. Just out of curiosity. “Hopefully that happens.”

"She's doing better." He sounds concerned, and that actually shouldn't surprise you considering he's said how much he likes kids. "No unscheduled hospital trips in two months, and her doctor nailed down the dosage for her medicine. So...good things are on the horizons."

“That’s great.” He drums his fingers on the steering wheel. “I’ve heard there some great clinics in Spain and Istanbul.”

"Yeah." You and Steph had done endless reading on all the best doctors and clinics all over the world for pediatric medicine, trying to see if anyone seemed to know anything about the mysterious symptoms not connected to Nora's main diagnosis, but those were just a pipe dream. "But even debt free, those are...they're hard to get her seen at. For now, we're just glad that she's doing better."

“I can agree with that.” Dieter doesn’t know what he would do if someone he cares about was chronically ill. “Hopefully one day they figure out everything.”

"That's the hope." Sitting back in the seat, you watch the highway roll by out your window and try to relax a little in your seat. "Have you, um...have you heard anything about that movie in Switzerland?" He had mentioned it at the concert and Libby mentioned it to you once. The way she was talking, it was something very big deal. Something he wanted.

Dieter nods. “I got it.” He is happy that he did, looking forward to going back there again and revisiting some of his favorite places. “Filming for four weeks.” He spots the Anaheim exit for Disney and slides into the exit lane.

“That’s good.” It seems like a short amount of time to film a movie, but honestly what the hell do you know about filming movies? He probably has more to do when he gets back to California. “Can I ask…um, what’s special about Switzerland? Libby made it sound like your favorite place in the world.”

Dieter looks over at you and gives you small grin before looking back at the road. “My mom was Swiss.” He announces. “It was something we always wanted to do, go visit. Danica and I.” He sighs. “I— after she, uh, you know – filming in Switzerland saved my life. Or being able to go wander through Hans Holbein’s works saved me.” He gives a nonchalant shrug; almost afraid you will have something critical to say.

“So you do like portraiture.” It’s definitely not what you were expecting him to say at all, honestly you don’t really know what you were expecting him to say, but it’s unexpected all the same. “There’s this painting he did of Lais of Corinth that is just mesmerizing…I’ve tried to paint myself in that pose so many times. She’s wearing the same gown as Venus in his portrait of Venus and Amor and I just…I swear if I had all the money in the world I would get married in a reproduction of it or something. It’s all just gorgeous.”

“It’s a memorizing piece.” Dieter agrees. “Even more stunning in person.”

“You’ve seen her?” It may be the first time you’ve ever envied him, and you’re sure the look of awe on your face says so.

“I spent hours staring at her.” He nods, not mentioning that he was so fucking high at the time that it was ridiculous. “Every day I would sit with her. Absorbing everything I could from her.”

“Wow…” Slumped in your seat a little, you nearly laugh at the irony of someone you consider having no taste also loving one of your favorite paintings. “Well…if you see her again while you’re there, give her my regards.”

“I will.” Dieter follows the signs for parking, between the lines of others rushing to get to the park. “I figure I will go and visit before I even go to set. She knows a lot of my secrets from back then.”

You have no doubt that he has plenty of secrets, but part of your promise to yourself to do better is to not point that out. “Libby asked me to start an Instagram today,” you tell him as he parks the car, holding your phone tight in one hand. “She, uh…she wants me to use it all day. And I guess at the next thing we’re used to go to. Somebody’s birthday party?”

“Yeah.” Dieter rolls his eyes and snorts. “It’s just going to be a large party of Hollywood. Drugs, sex and actors.” Although he’s been told he can’t have anything but booze.

“I’ll stick to booze.” Anything else just isn’t in your wheelhouse anymore and you refocus your attention on your phone to open the Instagram app that you downloaded last night but haven’t touched yet. Since you don’t have any other social media you don’t have a standard handle of any kind so you just sort of stare blankly for longer than you’re proud of.

“I have to as well.” He rolls his eyes and huffs as he pulls into a parking spot. Turning the car off, he looks over at you. “Have you figured it out?”

“Not really.” Steph had suggested that you ask him for help when you asked her last night and that had made you grumpy for about an hour before you decided to throw up your hands and go to bed because it was midnight. “I need a name first, I guess?”

Dieter hums, unbuckling his seatbelt. “Something to do with your art.” He suggests. “RenaissanceArtTeacher or some shit.” He chuckles. “Impressionist101.”

“Something like ImpressionistAuntie is probably too dumb, right?” It’s two fundamental pieces of your personality - your art and your role as an aunt - but you’re no good at what Libby so firmly calls branding.

“Nah it’s perfect.” Dieter tells you over the hood of the car as he closes the door. “It’s your account, it should be reflective of who you are. Art is at the core, and I know you love your niece.”

It’s surprising how easily the chatting becomes when you’re not both clawing your way down each other’s throats, but you push that thought away to focus on your phone again. Once your account is created you snap a picture of the Park gates for your very first post.

The tickets are already purchased. Libby had taken care of that, making sure that you both had the cute matching bands that Dieter had rolled his eyes over. He fishes them out of his pocket and hands you one. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” Disney Soulmate the bands proclaim, and it’s clear in an instant that the inspiration for this trip is his ambassadorship for Mate Marks, as their logo is also on the band. Libby is nothing if not efficient. “Where to first?”

Dieter shrugs once the two of you are in the park. It’s still early, the park just opened, and he looks around. “I’m not picky. Although I will want a drink somewhere.” Even though he’s been given strict orders not to get drunk at Disney, he needs a little alcohol.

“God yes.” You laugh when he looks surprised. “What? Auntie likes to get her day drink on, and Disney supposedly does good cocktails.”

He chuckles, surprised that you are so easy with this, and nods towards the interior of the park. You are still right at the gates and people are flooding past you. “Let’s go drink around Disney then.”

The Star Wars campus is first stop, since Steph said you would love it and it’s listed as the longest wait in the park. The longer you put it off today, the line will just keep growing, and even if the lightsabers are crazy expensive you still want to gaze longingly at all the little fake kyber crystals in the souvenir shops.

“God, do I want a Jedi Mind Trick or an Outer Rim?” He waggles his brows, unable to stop the dirty thought that prevails as he looks up at the menu to order a drink. He was getting one in his hand as soon as possible. “Vodka or Tequila?”

“You strike me as more of a tequila guy.” It’s the image he’s cultivated, but you catch yourself sounding accidentally judgmental and bite your lip. Do better. “We’re supposed to be doing cute couple shit, right? Let’s get one of each.”

Dieter is surprised and looks over at you with a raised brow. “Are you sure? I thought for sure you were going to order a Fuzzy Tauntaun.” He jokes, shooting you a grin to remind you that he’s messing with you.

“I’ve never been a big fan of drinks that can be described as fuzzy,” you admit honestly. “But…yeah. Might as well try both?” If it were a third date with anyone else, sharing some drinks or generally being publicly affectionate with the person you’re out with would be no big deal.

“Okay, but if you don’t like them, we’ll get you something else.” Dieter doesn’t want you to drink something because he bought and you hate it. The bartender comes over and Dieter leans against the counter, ordering the drinks.

"You have to really work to get me to hate a cocktail." Leaning with your back to the bar, you can watch all the excited families bustling around as they eagerly start their days. It's a typically gorgeous July morning in Southern California and really, there are a hell of a lot worse places you could be today.

“Anything you want to ride or do you just want to browse, right now?” He asks, glancing over at you before he watches the bartender start making the drinks.

"Does Smuggler's Run sound like any fun to you?" Without any real clue what he would enjoy, you're kind of shooting in the dark. But the Millennium Falcon is a classic for a reason.

“Sure.” He thanks the bartender and signs the slip, adding a generous tip before he holds up the drinks. “Wanna take a picture of them?” He asks with a smirk.

"Full documentation of Disney day drinking?" After all, Libby never said you couldn't socially lubricate today. If it helps you both laugh and smile for the cameras and the onlookers, then that's what you'll do. "But we should probably post pictures of food at some point today, too. Just for safety's sake." After all - all of this is for his image.

“I’m getting one of those Disney apples.” Dieter declares, nodding his head as he takes a sip of the Jedi Mind Trick. “Oh shit…that’s fucking good.”

"Let's do this." Distracted by the throngs of tourists, you don't even think about what you're saying when you put your hand out to ask for the other drink. "Rim me."

“Really?” Dieter grins, winking at you before he hands you the drink. His flirty nature would never let him leave that comment laying there untouched. “I didn’t figure you would be into that kind of thing.” He huffs. “We could get kicked out, you know? Family friendly place and all.”

"What are you—?" It takes you a second to figure out what he's talking about and you pull a face immediately. "No, no no, nope, not at all what I meant!" He knows that of course, and the smirk on his face is normally one that would set you off. But in the spirit of the day you point a finger at him and take a long sip of the drink colorfully named Outer Rim before shaking your head. "I would have to be very drunk to even consider that. And the answer would still probably be no."

“Figured.” Dieter takes another sip of his drink, not wanting to start a fight by teasing you. This morning has gone fairly well, and he wants to keep whatever piece he can.

"Not that I'm not adventurous." You're too stubborn for your own good, you've been told that multiple times by multiple people. And right now you're somehow competing with the image he's conjured of you and you just impulsively jump to defend yourself. "It's just somebody's mouth I don't want there. That's all."

“I get it.” Dieter gives a small shrug like it’s not that big of a deal. “You like that what you like, you don’t like what you don’t like.” He’s never been one to push sexual ideas on people that he’s been with. He’s happy with just plain sex if that’s what he can get.

"Right." He's not engaging today, and maybe that's his own version of trying to tone down the temper that seems to constantly flare between you, so you just nod and take another little sip of the drink before offering it to him to try. "It's good. Sounds like they both are."

He switches glasses with you and takes a sip of the Outer Rim. “Hmmm.” He pulls back to look at it and then back at you. “Pretty damn good.” He offers. “Which one do you like best?” Whichever one, he will let you keep it and take the other.

"Ironically, I think I like the Outer Rim better." They're both excellent, but you offer him back the one he liked better with a smile. "Do you want to get in line after we finish these?"

“We can drink them in line.” He tells you, having learned that when he was here for the opening weekend a few years ago.

"Perfect." Pushing away from the bar, you pause for a second before offering him your hand. He doesn't have to take it, that's fine. But the whole day today is extremely public and it's supposed to end with a staged kiss...and if you can't even get through a little pda then having to kiss him even for a quick peck is going to be actual torture.

Dieter doesn’t know what has happened, but he likes this version of you. He takes your hand and looks over. “I’ll apologize if my hands get sweaty. It happens a lot and I hate it.” He explains.

"I usually have paint or glitter on my hands, so I'll barely notice." The luxury of spending the summer buried in art and craft supplies with Nora hasn't been lost on you, but it has definitely led to you being a bit messier than usual around the house.

“Yeah.” He doesn’t normally deal with glitter unless it was high off his ass at a club, but he gets the paint. “So. What’s next after Smuggler’s Run?”

“You’ve been here before.” The two of you slip into line behind a group of teenagers with your drinks still in hand. “What do you like to do?” The last thing you want is for him to get bored and cranky because this is actually not a train wreck so far. Granted you’ve been here for less than an hour, but it’s still a big step in a good direction.

“Honestly, I walk around a lot.” He tells you. “It’s been a while since I’ve come. Last time was when this place opened.” He looks around and ignores the stares from a few people around the two of you. He knew it would probably happen; it always does.

“Let’s just walk around then.” You shrug a little, seeing a bunch of little kids with their parents starting to stare at him. He’s a movie star, it happens, but it does make you a little uncomfortable. Him too, from the look on his face, so you just keep talking. “I’ve never been here at all, so let’s just wander and see what happens. Just find rides and drinks as we stumble upon them.”

“That sounds good to me.” Dieter drains the rest of his drink and as you shuffle forward in the line, he tosses it in the bin that is there for convenience. He spots a little kid pointing at him and screeching, making him turn to you quickly. “Just go with it, okay?” He asks, not clarifying what, but needing you to agree as the boy breaks free from his parents and race towards him, screeching happily. “Maaaaaaaaannnnnddddoooooooo!”

“Go with—?” Having barely turned away to toss out your empty cup, you hear the kid before you see him. The happy cry is earsplitting and when you reel around again, Dieter has a boy of about six or seven nearly crying in front of him.

“Mando, Mando! I knew it was you!” The little boy is nearly about to bust he is so excited, and Dieter looks back to see his parents rushing towards him, obviously figuring out that he is not the man who plays the Mandalorian on Disney+. “Hey bud, what’s your name?” He asks, kneeling down and raising a hand to signal to the parents that it was okay. He had expected it at least once while he was here.

“Liam!” He tells Dieter excitedly. The little boy’s eyes are wide with that kind of pure joy that is reserved for little kids and it’s an amazing sight to see.

“Hey Liam.” He grins at the kid and his dad rushes up.

“Liam, that’s not—”

His father starts to break the kid’s heart and Dieter doesn’t want that. “Mando’s undercover today, Liam.” He tells the young boy with a wink. “You think you can keep it a secret for me?” He looks around and crooks his finger to have the little boy lean in. “I’m looking for a bounty.” He confides quietly.

“A bad guy?” Little Liam’s eyes open wide and you can’t help but smile. Standing behind Dieter, you have one hand barely covering your mouth to stifle a little soft laughter and more than a little surprise. He’s actually pretty good with kids, if this little boy and Nora are any indication.

“I am.” Liam’s parents relax, smiling slightly when they realize Dieter isn’t going to scold him or burst his bubble. “It’s why I don’t have my armor on.” He tells him confidentially. “Too noticeable.”

Liam looks around like a secret agent scouting a crowded room before he asks, in a very concerned tone: “Do you need help?”

Dieter thinks for a second and nods seriously. “I could use another set of eyes.” He tells him. “I’m looking for a Wookie. You know what they look like?” He asks the starry-eyed boy.

“Like Chewbacca!” He’s excited but his voice is an adorable stage whisper as he nods eagerly.

“Who?” Dieter tilts his head, remembering that Mando hadn’t met Chewy in canon. “This Wookie has black fur. If you see him, you find me, okay?” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small little coin that he had meant to give Nora. It’s one of the credits they had passed out on opening day. “For your trouble.”

“Okay!” Liam breathes out in awe, carefully taking the coin from Dieter’s palm before sprinting back to his parents at full speed. “Dad! Look! Mom, Mom!”

Standing up, he turns and grins at you. “I’ll have to text him and tell him I got another one.”

“That happens a lot?” You motion vaguely in the direction of the retreating child fully aware that the look of shock hasn’t wiped off your face just yet.

“Only for the last couple of years.” He shrugs like it’s not a big deal. “People seem to think I look like Pedro. The guy who plays Mando. Personally, I don’t see it, but they insist.” He tells you, looking slightly bewildered that anyone would think he looks like anyone but himself.

“Huh.” Tilting your head a little, you try to imagine the bulky armor the Star Wars character wears over Dieter’s t-shirt and shorts. It’s…not so far off, actually. “I can kinda see it.”

He scoffs and rolls his eyes. “God, don’t tell me you’ll start believing it. I’ll get him over to stand beside me and you’ll see how different we look.”

“You’re right.” Rolling your eyes back at him, it’s all you can do to keep the smile on your face and not get annoyed with him. “He’s much better looking.”

That makes him send you a hurt pout and huff, turning back towards the line. Muttering under his breath and huffs the words “armor” and “uniform kink”.

There’s no way in hell that you’re going to tell him that that’s correct, and luckily the conversation is wiped away by a couple of fraternity bros who ask for a selfie with Dieter in line a few minutes later. Dieter poses with them, reminding himself that this is a part of being famous. Even if he hates that part. When he turns back to you, he rolls his eyes slightly and huffs. “I need a better disguise.” He jokes.

“We can get you decked out in some Disney gear like me.” He would hate that, and you chuckle at the image. “You would look like every other tourist.”

He rolls his eyes and quickly shakes his head. “But I will take a Hawaiian shirt.” He quips.

“Your souvenir for the day.” Finally at the front of the line, the park employees usher the two of you into the ride along with the Frat boys that had just been in front of you. The virtue of the day, according to Libby, is that on the rides you don’t have to talk much. And while things are going okay today you don’t particularly want to test the limits of what you’re both willing to put up with.

The ride is fun. Dieter likes rides, if he’s honest. What’s not to like about them? They remind him of the small fairs that would come around every year when he was a kid. He laughs and plays along with everyone else until it’s over and you are filing off so others can enjoy it.

The day has a leisurely rhythm to if, punctuated by moments of small annoyance or heavy eye rolling, but when you make it to midafternoon without tearing each other’s throats out you really do have to consider the whole thing a success. Apparently, it’s a lot easier to get along with a little booze involved, who would have figured? According to Libby’s Law - the new name you’ve made up for the list of instructions for every date that Libby has issued you both - the last two mandatory activities are dinner and that visit to the castle.

There have been plenty more autograph seekers and even one more little kid mistaking his identity - but the one that catches you completely off guard is when you and Dieter are staring at a map of the park deciding where to eat and someone comes up to you. Being splashed all over gossip websites was the thing you were dreading almost more than anything else and here is some random teenage— oh god…that’s one of your students… “Please be nice,” you beg quietly, knowing he could take the opportunity to be totally inappropriate and rude if he wanted to be. He’s done it before but this one would be truly upsetting for you. Your students mean the world to you after Nora.

He wants to say something snarky, but he reminds himself that you have been gracious when fans have come up to him. Although it’s probably that you were relieved that you could have a few minutes away from him where you didn’t have to pretend to like him. He watches the kid come up, nervous and obviously harboring a crush on his art teacher, beaming at you as he comes up and hugs you.

You manage to chat with your student for a minute or two before he brings up the obvious elephant in the proverbial room. “So, it’s true, huh?” JJ asks, hands stuffed in his sagging jeans as he nods to the man a few feet in back of you. “Nobody believed it, but Corinne had a big party at her house to watch the Adele concert live and we saw…well I mean it’s none of my business but it was just surprising, that’s all.”

Dieter perks up slightly, amused at the way this kid is towering over you and looks like he can pack away an entire food cart and still be hungry, but he’s nearly blushing. “You must be one of her art students.” Dieter offers, stepping up and offering the kid his hand, just to see how he reacts. “Dieter.”

“JJ.” The wall of a teenager straightens up and shakes his hand with a tiny bit more force than is necessary.

“JJ took my photography class last semester.” And has just confirmed your worst professional nightmare about this whole publicity stunt. That all of your students are watching it unfold. Good luck trying to keep their respect when you become a talk show punchline.

“Signed up for two semesters of painting for next year.” He tells you proudly. “Senior year’s gonna be on the court or at an easel.”

“Oh, I bet.” Dieter hums, shaking his hand slightly after getting it back. Kid had a handshake on him, although his rings being crushed into his fingers didn’t help. His eyes light up. “Photography, you said?”

“Got an A on my final.” JJ tells him with that kind of confidence that only comes with not realizing how little grades matter once you’re out of school.

“So you could take a decent photo for us.” He doesn’t ask, he’s more challenging the kid to say no.

“Way better than decent.” The teen’s chest puffs up proudly.

“Perfect.” Dieter grins and swings around towards you. “My phone or yours? Although I want a copy regardless.” He winks at you and tucks his tongue in his cheek.

It takes a second for all the pieces to click into place: why he’s suddenly so interested in photography, where you’re currently standing, and the fact that it’s obvious to anyone with a bare minimum knowledge of social cues that this particular student has had an adolescent crush on you since his sophomore year. Dieters going to have him take the picture. Have your student bear witness to the thing live and in person. This is going to get blown so out of proportion with your students… “Yours.” You mumble finally, knowing that it’s going to happen no matter what. There’s nothing to do but grit your teeth and bear it.

“Great!” Dieter is practically exuberant as he pulls out his phone and selects the camera. “Now I wouldn’t start looking through it if I were you….” He pauses and grins. “Or maybe I would, but you definitely shouldn’t.” He teases as he shoves the phone into the boy’s hand and rushes over to you. “We want a magical photo of us kissing in front of the castle. Got it?”

Poor JJ’s face practically drops off his head it falls so much, but he nods dutifully and moves to line up a shot that will catch the two of you and the castle but not the three other couples currently trying to get the same type of photo. “Ready when you are, Miss.”

“Cruel.” You mumble under your breath, knowing Dieter is perfectly aware of what he’s doing.

“Life lesson.” Dieter hums back, wrapping his arms around you and drawing you closer. “Do you want to do the cute little leg pop thing?” He asks playfully, leaning in to nudge his nose against yours. He’s thinking of this as a scene, knowing you don’t want to do this, but it’s needed.

“Well you’re not dipping me.” It’s one of those sensations that makes your stomach drop like you’re going to be sick for no apparent reason and you definitely don’t need that right now. “So, fine…leg pop I guess.”

He wets his lips, knowing they are dry and he doesn’t want this to be bad. You already don’t like him, and he’d hate to give you another reason to stack the deck against him. Wanting the next three dates to at least be tolerable before you part ways, never to speak again. “Ready?” He murmurs quietly, still not comfortable with the idea of just taking. He can be an asshole, and a bit of a whore – but it’s all consensual.

The question gets a soft exhale from you, a note of surprise that he would even ask. It’s good - obviously - that he asks. You just weren’t expecting it. “Yeah,” you barely nod, knowing that you’re supposed to look at least happy if not excited to be kissing him. After all, according to the gossip sites, you’re a very happy couple. “Ready.”

Dieter slides his hand around your neck, his hand framing the lower portion of your jaw just like they’ve all been taught for the romantic movies. Apparently, women swoon at that. Leaning in, the kiss starts soft, just the tiniest pressure of his lips against yours until his own small sound of surprise makes him delve a little deeper.

Eyes closed. Don’t clench your jaw. Try to look happy. At this point you’re wondering if they shouldn’t have given you acting classes as part of this contract, but you did just enough in high school drama club to know where to put your hands and how to turn your head to make a kiss look good. It’s the fact that it feels good that shocks you. From practically not touching at all, you feel like you’re being drawn in - the hand you had on his arm drifts to his chest as he presses in a little harder and you’re wondering what the fuck trick of the universe is going on because your whole tree body is lighting up with…with actual pleasure? There’s no way in hell that you’re actually enjoying this kiss, right? Right? You’re not enjoying this, and you definitely didn’t just make a sound. Nope. Not at all.

He groans quietly when you give out a soft sigh, his restraint barely keeping him from sliding his tongue into your mouth. Family friendly, he reminds himself, wanting nothing more than to hear that little sound again. To see what other sounds you would make. It feels like the kiss lasts forever, even though it’s probably less than thirty seconds. Thirty seconds for his entire body to flip and not just his stomach.

“Okay, uh…got it.” JJ’s voice barely breaks through the fog clouding your mind right before you shift to pull Dieter closer, having totally forgotten where you are and what is going on. You practically jump backward, separating yourself from the man currently wrapped around you with much more shock in your reaction than distaste. “Th-thanks.” You manage to mumble, not realizing that you’ve actually put your fingers to your lips like you’re testing to see if they’re feeling things properly.

His own shock humming through his system, Dieter takes a moment before turning to the student. “Uh – yeah.” He shakes off the stupor and walks over to him. “Thanks.” He takes the phone. “Buy you a drink or something?” He asks him, wanting to do something since he had basically demanded a favor.

“Nah, I—uh—I got get back.” The boy points in the direction of the friends he came with, and you realize that a half dozen other students from your school just witnessed that unbelievable display of whatever that was. All you can do is say a polite goodbye and hope like crazy that they’re too weirded out to tell literally everyone they know about seeing their art teacher nearly make out with Dieter Bravo.

He doesn’t look at you, barely able to send you the pictures, several of them. No fucking clue what the hell just happened; he looks around desperately, everywhere but at you. “Need to get squirt something.” He latches on to his promise like a life preserver.

“Toy Story.” You mumble automatically, now firmly unable to even look in his direction let alone actually at him. “She loves Jessie.”

Off like a shot, he’s not even glancing behind him to see if you are following. Totally bewildered by what the fuck just happened, his sneakers slap against the pavement and his ringed finger shove into the curls peeking out underneath his hat as he freaks out slightly.

It takes you a second before you realize he’s completely dusted you, but you’re still too hazy to be upset about it. Pulling out your phone as you hightail it after him toward the nearest shop, you’re tapping out a text as fast as you can and let it still be coherent.

To Stephy: We need to fucking TALK when I get home. Tequila talk, not wine.

Going into the store, Dieter makes a beeline for the Toy Story stuff. “The cowgirl…she likes the cowgirl.” He reminds himself.

Not thirty seconds later, as Dieter is handing his credit card to the cashier behind the counter, you are busting into the shop with a nearly frantic expression on your face. “I need you to take me home,” you tell him immediately, hands running over your arms with repetitive nervous energy. If you had driven yourself you would have already taken off and just called him from the highway to explain.

“What?” Dieter frowns, immediately thinking it’s about the kiss, but he sees your distraught face. “What’s wrong?”

“Steph had to bring Nora to the hospital.” Despite the number of times your little warrior of a niece has been in the emergency room, it never ceases to terrify you. In the beginning it had brought on panic attacks that you had to hide from Steph, and you’re feeling like one might be brewing now. “They gave her something at daycare that made her sick and she’s—she’s still…” You scrub both hands down your face and breathe deeply to stave off anxious tears. “She’s in a lot of pain and the doctors aren’t having any luck stopping it.”

______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @katheriner1999 @littlemousedroid @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @hardc0rehaylz @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri

YSV: @tortor-mcgee @hnt-escape @sammus-white @spanishmossmagnolia

My Masterlist!

#Pedro Pascal #Pedro Pascal character fanfiction #Pedro Pascal fanfic #Dieter Bravo #Dieter Bravo x reader #Dieter Bravo x you #Dieter Bravo x female reader #The Bubble #soulmate au #enemies to lovers #fake dating #Trash Can Man

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br-disaster · 4 years ago

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nie mingjue’s outfits appreciation post

This is way longer than I expected oh gods, please forgive me for it.

It’s a well known fact that Jiang Cheng has the best wardrobe of all CQL characters, I’m not here to argue with that, but I think it’s time for us to stop sleeping on Nie Mingjue’s absolutely fantastic fashion sense.

I mean have you seen him?? The man is out there serving looks even with the Nie sect limited color palette. Please let’s ignore the context here and just look at his robes

I wasn't sure if I should rank them, so I’ll just ramble about them in order of appearance:

1. The gray “I’m the boss” one

That’s the first time we ever see him and what can I say? He does leave an impression. We see him using these robes two times, in episodes 10-11 and on the beggining of Fatal Journey, as the first picture shows, which makes me wonder: Is this his stay-at-home set of robes? ‘Cause damn

I don’t know how I should comment on the particular details of his robes but I really appreciate how wide this extra fabric layer makes his shoulders look.

Really imposing and powerful look.

2. The Sunshot incredibly beautiful "this is how you win a war" one

Look, this one might be my favorite, it has EVERYTHING

Shoulder game is strong here, and this bronze-like color goes really well with his belt. Now let's talk about his outer robe for a moment, just THE COLOR I mean it's the prettiest shade of gray I've ever seen.

Also Long Sleeves

And a CAPE. A f**king CAPE. I'll never get over this look and I'm really glad the costume department let this king wear a cape again in Fatal Journey, he was made for it.

Next comes the inner layer that's not really a robe, as you can see when he's standing, but the silver pattern is what really does it for me, guys. It's probably the first thing you see once you look down from his face, 'cause I know we all get lost on that beautiful mustache, and it's perfect.

You can’t lead a war campaign if you don’t look good, I see.

3. The "I didn't really want to be here but I’m looking good anyway" one

It's so dark, it probably reflects how he was feeling during pretty much all the scenes he's in while wearing it.

Once again he accentuates his shoulders with an extra fabric except this time his sleeves are not long at all. I personally think he looks even more handsome like this, it makes his arms look bigger. What is it called? I don't know, but it matches his belt as well.

( Is it really a belt, guys? I don't wanna disrespect but I don't even know where to start looking for names nor I know other english names for belts)

The subtle golden/bronze details on the outer robe and on the inner robe's collar contrasts really well with the black and dark gray

Sad thing he looked really miserable wearing it :c

4. The "big event he seemed ok with attending" one

Dark again. But he didn't look as depressed as in the previous one, he actually had fun that day, which is good. Enough of tears and betrayal for now.

May be the wider sleeves he ever wore, perfect for clapping his hands like a happy toddler. There's also a lovely flowery pattern on the darker robe that you can easily miss if you don't pay enough attention.

For the first time his shoulders are not accentuated by fabric or shoulder pads and it's really nice to see him like this. We all love a buff Mingjue, but CQL Mingjue is not that buff and I love him just as much.

Really elegant, not as imposing and he has every right to want to look civil for once. It may be the series' way of telling us that he's not dressed for real combat or war, who knows.

5. The "all this just for a flashback?" one

Listen, this one right here is just AMAZING

I don't understand why they dressed him so beautifully for what? 10 minutes of a flashback. I wanted to see it for more than a couple os scenes!!

Everything here is different, so this will take time.

First: His inner robe, the first one, is not the usual black, it's light gray, it's lighter than his robes actually, and we don't see him wearing it like ever again since chronologically in the series this is the first robe he wears. Does it secretly mean that all went wrong from the moment he met MY? who knows

Second: The outer robe is fancy. There’s so many details to it and it may be the lighting of the scene, but it seems to be a warmer shade of gray, doesn’t it? The golden\bronze thin strip around the silver larger strip is perfect. It kinda has the opposite effect of his shoulder pads, since it makes his shoulders look a bit smaller but it’s so very elegant.

Third: The upper part of the inner robe. I mean who gave him the right to look that good ??? It’s dark but it has golden little shapes in it!! And it kinda looks like there’s a zipper in there because of that mid section. And oh to be a single jewel resting over Sect Leader Nie’s chest...

Fourth: The bottom part of the robe is also something new. We see pleats on Huaisang’s main robes, but never on Mingjue’s until now, that’s why I took the last screenshot, nothing to do with the bloody Baxia at all. I wish we could have seen them in pretty pleated robes together.

It probably contradicts what I said about his shoulder things being a code for battle, since the first thing we see him doing with this outfit is killing some guy/puppet; but for the rest of the time he wears it is peaceful

Honestly, imagine how Meng Yao felt. It was some fairy tale thing, wasn’t it? You’re a nobody eating bread and drinking water and then this king pops up out of nowhere and defends you from bullying and offers you a job and takes you home with him??

6.The “kick your local murderer down the stairs” one

I don’t really know what to say about this one. The context kind of ruined it for me, but let’s try.

It resembles the fourth outfit since it’s a really dark inner robe and a lighter and patterned outer robe. Except this one has this nice and shiny thin strips around the sleeves and the waist.

It’s pretty but not especially pretty in my opinion. If I were to rank the outfits, this one would rank last.

7. The “fighting qi deviation and needing emotional support” one

Fatal Journey, baby.

I know what I said about the second one, but this might be my favorite. It’s practical, no long sleeves or heavy outer robes. It’s also appropriate for horse riding, wich is great. The simple, sleeveless light gray outer robe is really nice.

There’s a cape again!! And I have to say the cape looks even better now that his sleeves are tighter, the way it falls gracefully on his back is perfect. I love the way it seems to be attached to the shoulder pad too.

The robes are simple but the thing is: The accessories are not.

His belt is now silver and if we ignore that the production team just painted it, we can assume he has two sets of identical waist belts, one is bronze and the other is silver. Now the final touch: The shoulder pads. This is what makes this outfit the most extra of them all. It’s silver and just so, so pretty I wanna cry everytime I look at them. I mean, the layers, the dragon\beast entire head makes him look so fierce and ready for the fight.

I wonder how comfortable they are tho.

10/10 would rank first place.

bonus: Baby Mingjue

We love a consistent king after all! Has he been wearing dark robes since he was a baby? We will never know. I love this dark yet translucent outer robe tho.

1000/10 the cutest and best dressed child out there.

Conclusion: Nie Mingjue is a fashion icon!

* Do not take this too seriously, I did zero research and english is not my first language. If there’s any terrible grammar mistakes, point them to me and i’ll edit it. If I’m somehow disrespecting Chinese culture, please also point it to me and I’ll apologize, edit or even delete the post.

#nie mingjue #cql #chen qing ling #mo dao zu shi #is this meta?? idk #poorly analyzing fashion choices #nie brothers #the untamed

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umbrellasareforever · 2 years ago

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Well then, answer me 1, 2, 4, 8, and 10 for the new and shiny Doctor Who ask meme!

Ah crap, gotta put my money where my mouth is!

1. A terrible effect or costume that you love

There's so many put the first thing that comes to my mind is the shot of the TARDIS and Professor Chronotis' TARDIS from Shada in the time vortex. It makes me cackle but in such a sincere way, it feels like the epitome of Classic Who to me.

2. A terrible effect or costume that annoys you or breaks your immersion

Ah jeez that's a tougher one okay OH the Cybermasters. I hate them so much, I think they look so ridiculous and out of almost everything Doctor Who has had in it, they just feel so fake(?) I think that's the word I want to use, I'm not quite sure. ESPECIALLY when they were first revealed in Timeless Child with those ridiculous frowns on their faces oh my goooood.

4. How an episode you don't like could have gone better

The problem with this one is choosing just one episode, haha. Going with the first one that came to my head, Kerblam!. I really, really dug that episode up until the third act. The reveal of the antagonist and their plan and their motivation just all felt so muddled. It was like the writer knew what they wanted to do but it ended up coming out so wrong. The whole episode was showing just how grim and sad and awful it was to work at this place and then for the villain's motivation to be that there weren't enough humans working there just felt so off. It may have been more obvious, but I do think the episode would've worked a lot better had the company been the problem. Because lemme tell ya, the fact that more humans weren't allowed to work in that place would not be my biggest issue were I an employee.

8. If they were to give him a historical companion, when/where should they come from?

Well first of all I'd be happy with literally any time period because anything would be more interesting than modern day Earth at this point. I feel like I can't come up with anything super unique because I'm not a huge history buff (probably my worst subject in school honestly), and this idea might just be because my partner and I started watching X-Files, but I kinda like the idea of someone from the late 60s or 70s who's a major UFO/alien theorist and meeting the Doctor/traveling with them gives the companion a sense of vindication. I feel like it could be really sweet and also lead to a companion who is just fascinated by everything they're seeing.

10. If you could pick one iconic item of clothing or accessory for Fourteen, what would it be?

I'll be honest I'm very bad when it comes to creativity with clothes, haha. The question also says accessory though so I'll say I'd really want 14 to be less reliant on the sonic and have other tools and gizmos as well. 10 had a couple here and there, like in Partners in Crime, and I think it's very fun for the Doctor to have just all sorts of things in their pockets and tool boxes that have different uses. Still have the sonic for stuff like doors and computers, but if the Doctor needs to track an energy reading on foot or cloak a signal coming from an alien escape pod, why not have some funky little prop!

#asks #my thoughts #heimeldat #thank you for asking!!#and for making such fun questions!!!

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nct-lian · 4 years ago

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nct 127’s relation to lian

TAEIL + LIAN: IL-LI

taeil used to wake her up for school when she was still a teenager :((

such a soft but overlooked duo

will appreciate each other forever and ever

lian teaches him roasts in english that he can say to johnny

remain each other’s hype man and woman

taeil was the first to suggest he and the other nct members react to the trailers of her dramas on video so they can boost them in popularity

promotes the HELL out of lian’s solo career over twitter

lian loves coming up behind him and just giving him hugs because he’s soft (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

they watch movies together a lot! but taeil has to come down to the fifth floor because lian hates it up on the tenth one

he was once able to grab her hand in an airport and they held hands the entire time :(( a few pictures went a little viral

they share hoodies NSHDHSHCJA

lian keeps bugging him to get an instagram

taeil will ALWAYS take her side in silly arguments she and the other members have sometimes

he makes fun of her height because she’s shorter than him-

he also used to help her with her homework :(

cried when lian went on her first date

“my child is growing up (´∩｀。)”

had to do a background check on the guy before he even allowed him to come in contact with her again, though

JOHNNY + LIAN: JOANN

johnny is her dad, period

no questions asked he is her father

will give her piggyback rides all the time

he was once woken up by her jumping on his bed and asking if they could go shopping

at 6:00 am

he actually got up, got ready and took her shopping but since it was so early, the stores were all closed

he took her out for japanese fluffy pancakes, though!

whenever lian is sick, johnny makes her his mom’s homemade chicken noodle soup recipe :((

speaking of johnny’s mom, she loves lian to death and always asks johnny if he’s taking good care of her

if they’re not being asked any questions or having to translate anything during interviews, they always whisper jokes in each other’s ears to try and make the other one laugh

because of how lian dies during the trailer of her new drama, johnny cried in front of twenty-two other men while they reacted to it

he was NOT embarrassed

“how are you guys not crying? this is so sad. what a cruel world we live in ໒( ˵ •̀ □ •́ ˵ )७”

kept screaming at lian’s “dream of you” performance video

“WHY ARE YOU ON THE GROUND DANCING LIKE THAT?!” “JISUNG COVER YOUR EYES-“

he once effortlessly picked up lian and moved her somewhere else because she wasn’t standing where she was supposed to be

everyone says that their ship name is something a white, suburban mom would be named. now nctzens pronounce joann like “joanne” ･x･

it was said on the zach sang show that johnny used to measure her height every month to see if she grows or not, and that’s the only reason why he has her height memorized

TAEYONG + LIAN: LIYONG

has lost lian in so many airports it’s not even funny

“hyung, what happened to lian?” “oh, you have GOT to be kidding me-“

whenever he doesn’t see her he goes into panic mode and starts asking if anyone has seen his little sister

“about this tall with really shiny hair? her cheekbones are insane, i swear. OH OH OH SHE WAS WEARING JOHNNY’S HOODIE- you don’t know what johnny’s hoodie looks like.. okay, well thank you for your help.”

one of the first members that she was comfortable with

lian said that he was her role model :’(

as the leader, he’s always taking care of her and will not sleep until he knows for sure she’s eaten

because of how lian never participated in any of nct’s first bit of promotions due to being too uncomfortable around them, she was allowed to skip out on the viewings of their relay video letters

but she was still required to make one for somebody and that somebody was taeyong ˵ ຈ ︿ ຈ ˵

she said that she was glad he was her leader and that she hoped to become closer one day

he cried

declares that he will take care of lian till the day he dies

taeyong had yelled at lian’s former manager until he voluntarily quit working for her- he had found out that lian was being overworked to the point where she collapsed during their dance practice and he wasn’t okay with it

always cheering her on backstage when she performs solo

he always tries to include her in guiding the members for their dances because he knows how happy it makes her

instead of having her carry her glasses around with her, he does it instead :D

“nana, do you have to wear your glasses now?”

taeyong tucks her into bed every night he can ᕕ( ཀ ʖ̯ ཀ)ᕗ

YUTA + LIAN: YUN

totally doesn’t have feeling for her, yeah

yuta is obsessed and when i tell you he’s obsessed, he’s obsessed

did i mention obsessed?

he’s jealous of everyone :(

yun stans insist that the only reason yuta is so touchy with winwin and mark is because he’s trying to cover up his feelings for lian

bye if that’s true-

hyuck wanted to give her a hug (a rare occurrence) and yuta straight up just said,

“mine. go away”

i have proof guys :// johnny recorded it and literally posted it on instagram

lian died internally when yuta cut his long hair because she couldn’t put it into ponytails anymore :((

but his hair is growing back now so she’s able to do it again :)

yuta teaches her japanese every tuesday and thursday!

we don’t bring this up because it’s pretty embarrassing but,, when nct 127 were backstage before performing kick it, yuta asked doyoung (who was in a direction where he could get a clear view of lian’s face) if lian was staring at him

how do we know this, you may ask?

it was caught on camera and everyone made fun of him for a solid week straight

he’s caught staring at her from afar way too often for comfort

lian says that he’s very pretty

much like the other memebers that have instagram, he makes story countdowns that he posts about a week before lian plans to release her solo music

DOYOUNG + LIAN: LIDO

another member of the lian protection squad

doyoung was the first to start calling her cupcake

it all started when doyoung was sick and lian made him cupcakes to make him feel better

will slap anyone who makes a flirty remark towards lian

was embarrassed for yuta when he asked if she was staring at him

said “no” and walked away

lian is the only one who ever shows him any mercy :’)

they have very similar taste in decor so they often go shopping together for things to put around the dorm

doyoung said that he spends the most time in lian’s room because it smells like vanilla all the time

he spoils her SO MUCH

like so much

half the plushies she owns at the moment were gifts from doyoung

has a tendency to watch over her and make sure she’s content at all times

“cupcake, are you hungry? i can make you some food if you’d like” “oppa, it’s 3:00am-“ “and?”

they take such pretty instagram pictures :((

at one point in time, doyoung was jealous of his older brother because lian used to crush on him a tiny bit :0

not because doyoung likes her or anything, she just couldn’t stop talking about how nice he looked in revolutionary love

disapproves of the staff giving lian such short clothing sometimes

“um, excuse me, she can’t wear that. are you crazy? go get her a new outfit, please”

JAEHYUN + LIAN: JAELI

not many people bring this up because we know it’s honestly a sensitive topic :|

but he lowkey has deep feelings for her (he makes it so obvious sometimes it’s kinda disappointing to see how oblivious lian really is to it)

jaeli + yun love triangle anyways

jokes aside, though, jaehyun loves lian so so much

once cried to johnny about how he doesn’t know what to do and that he didn’t want to make anything awkward by confessing to her

makes sure to be near her as often as possible

once scared away a whole kim taehyung from talking to her during isac ╰[ ⁰﹏⁰ ]╯ (let’s pretend bts were there for 2019 pls)

“jungkook, keep your friend away, please :D”

didn’t work, though, because they ended up having a conversation later in the day either way

*in the 97’ liner groupchat* “HYUNG IM SORRY HE RAN AWAY I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DOl

it was uncalled for but what can you do amirite ┐(´～｀)┌

lian pokes his dimples a lot and squishes his cheeks

just randomly hugs him but he’s not complaining

johnny isn’t picking sides but he became team jaeli after jaehyun broke into tears in front of him for the first time since they were trainees about how much he loves lian

sad,, i know

lian judges jaehyun for not sleeping with sheets

continues to believe he is not a human being, but a robot created in a lab

jaehyun smiles at her for no reason

JUNGWOO + LIAN: LIWOO

an instant bond formed between them when they first met!

jungwoo learned a lot about her and has developed so many ways to deal with her anxiety :(

gave the staff a guide on how to keep her calm when he went on hiatus because he couldn’t be there with her

buys her colouring books because he knows that they calm her down well!

liwoo went viral and become a popular ship when lian accidentally changed the nct 127 instagram profile picture to a jungwoo icon

she got scolded but it was iconic orange haired jungwoo with a chain-

an untouchable duo when they do double aegyo

nctzens think jungwoo is her favourite member

maybe because lian said he was

“ “who’s your favourite member?” hmm i’ll have to say woo-oppa!”

*cue jungwoo laughing at yuta’s face because he was that shocked*

they share secrets with each other so now they probably know the other like the palm of their hand

even though he’s off his hiatus, he still has to guide the staff members through lian’s little moments because sm staff suck at their job sometimes

they’re the two members who go grocery shopping together

more like jungwoo dragging lian to the grocery store with him but okay

jungwoo loves kissing her cheeks (〃▽〃)

their vocals mixed together are confirmed to be noises from heaven

lian misses his blonde bowl cut :/

MARK + LIAN: LIMARK

leader of lian’s natural length hair committee

like when i tell you mark hates her extensions-

mark was the first friend lian was able to make in nct!

they bonded over canada and it was very rare to see them speaking in korean

mark goes into straight panic when he’s with her sometimes

has to remind himself they’re like siblings

lian ans mark covered “your eyes” by hoody and jay park during a vlive!

it was adorable :((

lian had him saved in her phone as “android user” but now she doesn’t know what to change it to

they had a fight in 2019

mark let’s her call him the weirdest freaking nicknames ヽ ( ꒪д꒪ )ﾉ

mars bar, markie, mork, marko

AND IN RETURN HE CALLS HER MARIJUANA-

he says it’s because czennies consider her to be addicting and since marijuana is addicting as well he thought it’d be a good fit

someone on twitter absolutely ENDED HIM though and wouldn’t stop making fun of him (；⌣̀_⌣́)

they can read each other’s mind just by looking at each other

“dude i hate this shit why does she keep asking us who we wanna collab with?” *cue lian laughing hysterically*

“what’s so funny (゜-゜)” — interviewer

HAECHAN + LIAN: LIHYUCK

haechan makes fun of her kissing scenes in dramas

calls her short all the time

“lian give me a high five- oh haha nevermind it’s too bad you’re so short”

they’ve actually been so close to fighting each other and i’m not even joking

they’re the two members who fight the most out of all of them

but despite this, they love each other very much

hyuck says he’s the only one who’s allowed to make her mad

and if anyone else makes her mad he’d kill them

limark 2019 fight flashbacks where haechan kept threatening mark

there are actually moments when they’re clingy with each other-

haechan loves her hugs :((

like ??????? one minute they’re at each other’s throats and the next, they’re all lovey dovey hugging each other make it make sense ?????

lian could be speaking english and he’d say, “korean, please. i can’t understand canadian”

“shut up <3”

hello haechan cried and wouldn’t let go of her during her and mark’s graduation ceremony in 2018

she makes fun of him for it but never takes it too far

he goes to her for dance advice

during their nct 2018 weekly idol appearance when they were doing the random kpop dance thing, they beat everyone أ‿أ

156 notes · View notes

muffledcries · 4 years ago

Photo

Jahmil French (July 29, 1991 – March 1, 2021)

We worked together on Soundtrack, and every single time you entered the room we all felt it get brighter. You were shiny, magnetic and so so kind. RIP and fly with the angels Jah. – JENNA DEWAN Really hate that this is real. @JahmilFrench you will be missed my friend. Thank you for your talents that pushed me, your energy that kept our little family on @soundtracknetflix glued together. I’m happy I was able to get to know you. Our work together def made an impact on me & You and your Mom felt like family back home. Today and everyday we will remember you and continue to be inspired to live and be great for you. Rest In Peace Jah. – CHRISTINA MILLIAN Honestly been at a loss for words since I heard the news. This doesn’t feel real. Jahmil, was one of the most talented actors I’ve ever worked with. One of the funniest kindest people I ever met. The life of the party, every room he would walk into he would always be dancing and making people laugh and smile. Too many good memories. Thank you Jahmil. Rest In Peace King. – AJ SAUDIN Heartbroken over the loss of our friend Jahmil French. We started on Degrassi the same year and I’ll never forget the day I met him. Jahmil was so full of energy and absolute joy to be around. The video on the last slide is how I always think of him, always dancing. He was such a special person and I’m so grateful for the memories we made. I still can’t believe it. Gone way too soon. He will be so missed by us all. – ANNIE CLARK My heart is so heavy.. Truly one of a kind. Rest In Peace. – CRISTINE PROSPERI I’m sick with the news of Jahmil’s passing. He performed Dave with such sensitivity and thoughtfulness and could make me laugh so easily. It was a pleasure to work with him and he will be missed. This is a real loss. Rest In Peace. – STEFAN BROGREN Jahmil had such talent and charisma that it would have been intimidating were he not also a real gentleman. He would show up to my house-parties with a crew of dancers and they would elevate the mood immediately. When life got messy he would handle himself with grace and levity. He was precocious. And his love for music (and dance) was contagious. He showed me Section 80 by Kendrick Lamar, made me appreciate Drake’s Houston sound… Wish I’d gotten the chance to catch up with him one more time, hear where his mind/dreams were at. – SAM EARLE Jahmil, your talents and energy will never be forgotten. One of the best smiles with the most beautiful soul. Jahmil, you will always be such a bright light in this world. – SARAH FISHER This one really hurts. Jahmil French was a truly kind soul and one of the most talented actors around. He inspired me with his confidence and support from the first day we met and will continue to do so forever. Thank you for everything you gave to this world through both your art and your humanity. Rest In Peace my friend. – CRAIG ARNOLD Much love to the entire Degrassi family on this difficult day. It was a complete honour to write for and work with Jahmil, an incredible actor and talent gone way too soon. – RAMONA BARCKERT An extraordinary talent and a bright light on and off screen. Rest in peace, Jahmil. – MICHAEL GRASSI So sad to hear about the passing of Degrassi cast-member Jahmil French. An endlessly talented & charming performer who was always fun to write for. Last time I saw him, he was nominated for a CSA for his work in the movie Boost and I was certain he was only getting started. RIP. – MATT HUETHER Jahmil was always such a kind person. My heart is heavy for him and his family. Thanks for all the good memories Jahmil, you really had an impact. I’ll cherish all the fun we had dancing at basement parties all those years ago. Still in shock. Jahmil will be missed. He was an integral part of the Degrassi family and certainly a huge part of my degrassi days. He always wanted to make people laugh and smile, a true joy to be around. Rest in Peace. – CHLOE ROSE Rest easy, my friend. Your talent, kindness and shining bright light will never be forgotten. – JESSICA TYLER Wanted to pay my respects to an incredibly kind, funny, and talented individual; Jahmil French. One of the first people I met on Degrassi, he immediately made me feel welcome. He disarmed you with a smile and his confidence and energy was infectious. You’ll be missed, brother. – DYLAN EVERETT Jahmil was one of the most gifted and effortless performers I’ve ever met. His vibrant personality lit up the room. Rest easy my friend. – MUNRO CHAMBERS I am heartbroken to hear about the loss of Jahmil. Jahmil was an extraordinary talent and a bright light on and off the screen. He was a joy to work with on Degrassi: The Next Generation. He brought an authenticity and burst of life to every scene he was in and infused his character ‘Dave’ with an airy lightness. Off screen Jahmil would always make me smile. He will be deeply missed. – LINDA SCHUYLER My heart goes out to the entire Degrassi community., but particularly of course to those who were closest with Jahmil. We have lost one of our own. Jahmil was kind, intelligent, extremely talented, and just a wonderful person. He was also of course an incredible dancer, and since I am the exact opposite we had a running joke that I had taught him all his dance moves. When I would completely ineptly do the Moonwalk, Jahmil would cheer me on, while everyone else would beg me to stop! RIP Jahmil French, your soul and presence are sorely missed. – STEPHEN STOHN A sad day for the Degrassi family. With a heavy heart I thank you for all the times you made me laugh, taught me dance moves, and gave me confidence as Adam. Thinking of all the memories we shared on and off of set. - JORDAN TODOSEY Thinking of Jahmil French & the entire Degrassi family today click here for the full post - LYLE LETTAU This one hurts me deeply. When I found out yesterday I refused to believe it! I wouldn’t except it and to be honest I still don’t quite believe it’s real. I love you and the energy between us was always genuine. Working with you was always a blast and you were always the coolest man in the room. Till we meet again my friend. – CORY LEE Terribly sad to hear about Jahmil’s passing. Whether I was his scene partner, or just a viewer, I was in awe of his sheer talent. A room was brighter because he was in it. A true performer, a great guy and a huge loss. #RestInPeace – JUSTIN KELLY I’m so shocked and saddened to hear this news about Jahmil. Jahmil was and is such a kind, fun loving, hilarious, full of life, hard working and professional person. He was my first real scene partner on a series I got to be a series regular on. I remember the day my agent sent me the casting for Degrassi. It said I would be playing Dave Turners love interest. So the first thing I did was pull up the good ol IMDB machine and find out who Jahmil French was. The same day as my audition a few mere hours later I got the call that the role was mine (pretty rare in this industry) I went in to do my fitting and thats when I met Jahmil, Spencer and AJ for the first time as they played an iconic trio on the show. They were all super friendly and nice to me and made me feel very welcomed to be joining the cast. I was nervous and 15 at the time. Jahmil was the integral glue that held the circle together and its would lead to an amazing friendship that I got to have with Spencer. I had only been slated to do 3 episodes on the show but I believe it was the on screen chemistry Jahmil and I had that lead me to stick around for longer. Jahmil always had a smile on his face. I would come in at 5am for our call to do prep and be so tired, but there he was hanging out in the green room dancing so full of energy and life. Jahmil LOVED dancing and he was really good at it too. And I’d ask him “How do you even have this much energy this early LOL” and he’d just laugh and smile. Any time we went down to block he’d be word perfect on his lines, hit every mark and bring such an amazing professionalism to the set it was mesmerizing to watch. He played every scene with a new beat that always kept it interesting and fresh. Jahmil was and still is such a kind hearted dedicated person who eventually really went on to flourish in his career and he will be deeply missed. Heaven really gained a new angel today, Rest In Peace and say hey to all the other pals up there. Spencer and I will pour one out for you - ALEXX BENOIT Rest in peace my guy. An amazingly talented actor who had such a presence on and off screen. – DEMETRIUS JOYETTE Jahmil was such a wonderful person to be around. so funny, so charismatic, so talented. and my god he loved his work. I’m devasted. Sending my love to his friends and family. In a year full of grief, it’s hard to comprehend how there can be room for more. And yet. Jahmil French was an incredible person, so full of talent and passion for his work. He lit up a room with his energy and dance moves. An easy smile and a natural charisma. He will be so missed. My heart is broken. I feel strange, announcing these things I wish I had told him more often. Reached out more often. The regret is acute. He deserved his flowers when he was here. I hope he knew how much love & admiration there was for him in this world. – AISLINN PAUL One of the most talented, kind hearted, funny spirits I’ve had the pleasure of building a friendship with. Jahmil is an icon. My love for him runs deep. Jahmil you will always hold such a special place in my heart. Thank you for being one of the most talented, compassionate, kindest, funniest friends I have. You were so loved. I’ll miss our dance offs. #Bhandurner forever. Jah literally won the title of most competitive goofball. What joy he brought to my life and to so many. So grateful for memories and deep convos with you, beautiful angel. Blessed that we got to be part of a big dysfunctional family together. Thank you for sharing your gift with the world. I just hope you knew how loved you were. I learnt so much working with this talented dedicated soul. Please send a prayer for his soul to go directly toward the light. – MELINDA SHANKAR Such a beautiful soul & a light to everyone around him. Rest in Paradise Jahmil. – JOELLE FARROW This moment will live in my mind forever. A beautiful soul, thank you for the years of memories and laughter. You’re a light my brother and I’m so happy we got to experience this crazy life together. I’ll always remember you dancing down the halls of the green room. Rest In Peace. – LUKE BILYK I’m devasted. My man, I swear I was just thinking about you not even a few days ago when I was making my new demo reel, watching all the old Degrassi episodes. So talented. So unbelievably wise beyond your years. You made one of the best times of my life even better. I’m so crushed. I should have called you. I dont deserve to miss you as much as I do now. I would always say my favourite actor on the show was Mr. Jahmil French. I would always watch his parts when going thru Degrassi material to either study my tech or to cut demos or whatever else. Not 4 days ago was I daydreaming about making some kind of new production with all of those talented people. My hearts broken. – DANIEL KELLY Jahmil was always the brightest light in the room. Smiling, dancing and making all of us laugh till we cried. Rest In Peace you beautiful soul. You will be missed… - ALICIA JOSIPOVIC This is absolutely heartbreaking. While I never worked directly with Jahmil on Degrassi, our paths did cross a few times. All you needed was 5 minutes with him to realize what a beautiful, talented, bright soul he was. My sincerest condolences to his family and loved onces. Rest In Peace Jahmil French. – ANA GOLJA Shocked & saddened to hear of Jahmil’s passing. Loss of such a talented and bright soul. Rest in Power cuz, I’ll pour one out for you, am so wishing this was a dream. – JAJUBE MANDIELA I join thousands of people around the world thinking about Jahmil today. A beautiful, joyful person to be on set with, truly intimidating on the dance floor, an all-around wonderful person to have known, gone just way, way too soon. Sending love to everyone who loved him. Jahmil, I hope you feel it too. – CHARLOTTE ARNOLD I didn’t know Jahmil very well, but in the few times we met, he was so explosively kind, charismatic and truly interested and invested in every interaction. I immediately felt accepted and got a sense of the deep compassion that so many others had expressed was within him. The impression I had always stuck with me and from all I have heard he was such a beautiful and loving person, the special kind that makes everything a little lighter. Thank you to everyone who has been sharing stories of their time with him. Sending love to Jahmil and all of you. – ERIC OSBORNE Jahmil was such a special human. A long-time acting student of mine, & my mentee. He was fearless and brilliant in his pursuit, and I’m so sad we won’t get to see more of his gift. I’m so grateful to have crossed paths with him, and I wish him eternal peace. – SALVATORE ANTONIO So sad to hear of Jahmil’s passing. He was so kind and so funny. I’m glad I had the chance to know him. You will be missed. Rest in Power Jahmil. Gone too soon. Will never be forgotten. – TAYSHA FULLER Even though I only worked with Jahmil for a little while he made a truly lasting impression. I remember when I first came back to set as Tori and I was incredibly nervous those first few weeks, but Jahmil was so welcoming and treated me and the other new cast members like we’d been a part of the cast the whole time. If he gave you a compliment or even said something as simple as “it’s so good to see you” you knew he genuinely meant it. It seems like a small thing but it’s hard to find that kind of authentic honesty in most people. He was an incredibly talented actor and always such a positive energy on set, and I’ll remember him for all those vibrant moments. Rest In Peace. – ALEXA STEELE This smile. This spark. This spirit. Jah I am missing you from this earthly plane we all love you. – MEGAN FERGUSON there never seems to be enough time… I don’t know if words can describe someone like Jah. He really was too special for this world. A true artist to his soul. I was lucky to call him my friend. Rest in Peace and Power Angel. you will be so dearly missed. – PAUL JAMES I guess I thought if I refrained from making a post, it would ease some of the pain.. but the more hours that pass, the more it sets in heavier. JAH. Mi familia. My brother. I am crushed. I have believed in you since the moment we met, and it makes me smile to know the feeling was 100% reciprocated. The purest soul. Always himself no matter WHERE he went. It takes courage to be that way you know? To have that strength. From Antigone to degrassi, to LA to NY you had EVERYTHING in you to shine. All the power, all the talent, all the intelligence the drive, the fearlessness. Your smile made me smile. Sweeterman jah, I miss you so much already. – SHANICE BANTON Dance on, old friend -through the clouds. I will see you on the other side. click here for the full post – SHANNON KOOK

#jahmil french #this took me forever but i wanted to make it pretty #he will be forever missed #:(#edit*#degrassi #idk why the scroll box isn’t showing up sigh I apologize for it being so long #dave turner

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etherealluminescence · 4 years ago

Note

Shdjdjjddjjs okay but, more buff cat hcs when ?? But seriously, i know it probably counts as crack hc but i enjoyed it way to much i cant get it out of my head anymore, i havent laught so much in a while now sjdjchdj. I sure hope the buff cat saga will continue !!

You know what? I’ll give you some buff cat content now. 😤 my school work can wait. And trust me, the buff cat saga WILL continue. I just tend to work on requests first rather than my own wants haha.

I’m really happy you like buff cat! Buff cat is my life now. Constantly haunted by buff cat. Maybe one day I’ll introduce a girlfriend or friends for buff cat too 🤔

Maybe I’ll do a background about buff cat and how they met MC?? And why buff cat is so attached to MC? I don’t know. 👉👈 maybe if someone requests, otherwise I’ll just do whatever I feel like in the moment.

Anyone can also feel free to request any buff cat scenarios!! If not I’ll think of some up. THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRY. I WROTE THIS LIKE 1 HOUR OR SOMETHING STRAIGHT AHA.

The boys react to buff cat teaching you

Lucifer

Lucifer had noticed your grades were improving recently, and wanted to take you out to eat for working so hard to both keep up with your class.

When he came to your room, he saw a scene that honestly shouldn’t of surprised him, but did anyways.

You were sitting at your desk, books sprawled across the entire surface area of it. On top of a book pile was buff cat, wearing a pair of glasses, and he was using a pointer to show you important parts you should remember.

He watched in awe as you two never exchanged any words, but you were scribbling down definitions and important notes, while buff cat turned the pages and reviewed your work.

He’s gotten fairly use to buff cat cooking, cleaning, intimidating others, but he has never seen buff cat act like a teacher before, it was sort of new, and he even had a teacher outfit.

He swears that he never sees you buying these outfits, or that people in the devildom actually sell muscular cat clothing.

Buff Cat is the first to break the silence, looking over at Lucifer and positioning his pointer at Lucifer’s head, and then to in front of your desk.

You were still focused on your studying, knowing that you were steadily improving. Buff Cat got out a notepad from one of your desk drawers, and wrote “Leave what you require on this note, I am instructing MC right now, and when we are done tutoring I will give this note to them.”

Lucifer ended up having to take a rain check on taking you out to eat, and learned that your cat has really advanced vocabulary.

Mammon

He was failing the majority of his classes, and ended up asking you for help. You were his best shot, and you seemed to be passing all of your classes with flying colours.

You said you were happy to help him! Except that someone else was actually helping you study. They were a very efficient teacher.

He was relieved to hear that you’d introduce your teacher to him, until he found out it was that fucking demon spawn from hell.

He screeched so hard and ran out of the room, crying like a girl. “aAAAAaaaaAAAH”

Mammon is terrified of buff cat, and now you’re telling him this cat has the intelligence of a genius? You came to the devildom like a few months ago how is this cat tutoring you and making you pass your classes with ease??

He swears your cat is trying to plot for world domination or something. Will NEVER ask you to study with him again.

Leviathan

You walked into Levi’s room trying to find buff cat. It was a Sunday, which was typically a boys night out between them, but it was getting pretty late and you need to study.

There was a test tomorrow on devildom history, and you wanted to review one more time with buff cat, as to make sure you’ll do well on it.

“Mr. Kitty, are you here?” You called out, as soon as you said that Buff Cat paused the game and ran up to you. Levi was slightly annoyed as Buff Cat was beating a hard level for him, but he is your cat above all else.

You smiled as Buff Cat greeted you, and apologised for interrupting them. You explained to Levi how you wanted to review for the test, and if it wasn’t an issue could he spare around 20 minutes?

Levi huffed and agreed and called you a normie, and was about to pick up his switch when your words finally set in.

You put down the book you were carrying and got out a pencil, and took a piece of paper out of the book. You began writing down all of the important stuff on the paper while Buff Cat watched over your shoulder.

When you were finished, he went into the book with you and showed you a couple things you’ve missed or had forgotten, and then got you to write it down three times each as to remember. He even wrote a few essay questions for you which you got.

Levi was impressed. Not only did Buff Cat seem to know the whole devildom history by heart, he knew the exact pages and lines, and even how to write.

He didn’t really care as long as Buff Cat beats the hard level for him. He just considers it to be cool.

Satan

Satan was impressed with your high grades. It must be hard for a human to suddenly learn about a whole new realm, right? So if you had Cs he would understand, but you were getting 97s and 94s.

He understood everything when he started to notice what kind of books Buff Cat had been reading in his room, recently.

You all were having a test on curses soon, and Buff Cat came by his room and began looking for books about curses, and similar ones to what you all had been learning about.

Satan ended up chuckling to himself and found it amusing. It was amazing how your cat even spent his free time coming to someone’s room, finding books for your tests, and reads them before going back to you to help you understand the content.

He likes to get coffee with Buff Cat and talk about the stuff you’re learning in classes, he never directly said it to you, but he helps Buff Cat find specific books when Buff Cat comes over.

Asmodeous

Lucifer decided to punish the house of lamentations by taking away all of their electronics after they did something stupid again. The only way to earn it back, was through getting an 80% or higher on their next test.

You and Asmo suffered because you would normally look up answer during your test, and Asmo had no social media or contact with any of his friends with benefits.

You two weren’t ashamed to beg Buff Cat for help to pass your next test. He was probably the smartest in the house. He goes to Satan’s room almost every day and purchased books when he goes out. Your cat even tutored you when you were in elementary school.

You and Asmo barely needed to convince Buff Cat, as he was ecstatic to help you again. He’d do anything to help you, and was even willing to help Asmo out as well.

Asmo thought that Buff Cat looked REALLY adorable in his teacher’s outfit. A suit, tie, glasses, and his claws were so shiny from their manicure earlier.

Buff cat even slicked his fur back to look like he gel’d his hair. He was a literal fashion icon. Asmo could do some sewing, but nothing to the degree Buff Cat did.

Buff Cat had so many outfits he made himself, and he even did them so quickly. They all turned out perfect. Oh right, this was about studying wasn’t it?

Asmo never really asked questions about why your cat could just be so smart, and more so focused on how cool your cat looked. Priorities.

Beelzebub

Beel and Buff Cat are gym buddies, so naturally they’d walk home together from the gym. Everything was fine until Buff Cat’s MC senses were tingling, and began to walk towards you, crouching down in a store trying to figure out which notebooks to buy.

Beel thought it was pretty cool Buff Cat knew where you were, like how he and Belphie were that close to each other.

Brel asked you what you were doing, and you explained that you wanted to get some new notebooks because your old one is messy and confusing. You just scribbled whatever you could down, and were having a bit of a hard time in class.

Buff Cat immediately perked up, and you two seemed to have a conversation. He meowed and you happily said “I’d love that!”

Apparently, Buff Cat had offered to tutor you. Beel wasn’t so sure how well your cat could teach, though, considering he still is a cat, and offered to help you as well, since he wouldn’t like to see you sad from overworking yourself.

He was scribbling notes alongside with you five minutes into your first session together. Buff Cat wrote such simple explanations, and even prepared notecards ahead of time, Beel forgot he was supposed to teach you.

He is pretty fine with Buff Cat teaching you both, and once again forgets that Buff Cat is a “normal”? cat and not some weird creature that knows the answer to life.

Belphegor

Is really fucking terrified of your buff cat. Like TERRIFIED. So when he sees your cat in a teacher’s outfit sitting at the dinning room table, teaching you math, he was frozen.

He came down to get a glass of milk but what is this. Do you- do you have to do it in the living room?

There is no other reaction than physical fear coursing through his body his adrenaline is at the highest and his fight or flight instincts kick in.

He’s already fought once and that caused Buff Cat to exist in constant Buff form around him, so you can bet he is running.

Probably has a group chat with Mammon and Luke. “Buff Cat Conspiracy”. They talk about how scary buff cat is.

Diavolo

Buff Cat told Diavolo he was the one who helped you study. They were having conversation (buff cat used a notebook) and the topic of your studies came up. He mentioned how he had been helping you study, and understand the terminology in the Devildom better.

He was happy to hear that you understood it, and that it wasn’t too complicated for either of you too.

He actually asks if he can watch your study sessions, to see if he needs to lighten your workload just in case you’re pushing yourself too much.

You two allow him to watch, and he’s giving soft claps and smiles as the two of you give it your best.

Is honestly very happy with how much you two get along, and how you say it’s very simple since Buff Cat explains(meows) it in a very efficient manner.

He already knew Buff Cat was smart, but haha. Maybe he should hire Buff Cat to be a teacher or support class teacher for RAD?

Barbatos

You had grown accustomed to the devildom these past few months, and with Buff Cat with you, you were allowed to freely explore it when you want.

Buff Cat also happens to have a spare key to open the castle when he wishes.

Exam/testing season was coming up, and you knew you couldn’t study at the house of lamentation.

It was very distracting, and so you decided to go to the castle. No one will be screaming there, or trying to convince you your cat is a weird entity trying to plot world domination.

Barbatos was sort of used to seeing Buff Cat come and go as he pleases, but why were you here? Before he could say anything, you told him that you were visiting to study! And that you hope he didn’t mind that Buff Cat was going to tutor you.

Alright, so you’re studying, but why at the castle? You had to explain that it was very distracting at the house of lamentations, and Mammon was trying to convince you to get rid of your cat 24/7.

Ah, he could see that. Your cat isn’t exactly normal, and Mammon does occasionally scream like a girl. I promise I love Mammon. But it’s not like he minded, so long as you two were quiet and actually studied.

He left to clean for a bit, and when he returned to the guest room he saw you wearing a headband, violently writing down and muttering definitions at an insane pace. Buff Cat was in a teacher’s outfit, and holding out flash cards.

He’s slightly taken aback, but doesn’t show it anywhere on his face. He has never seen you so serious before, and neither has he seen Buff Cat so focused on you, as well.

He’s quite proud of you two for your hard work and dedication. He doesn’t interrupt but instead pours you three cups of tea, Buff Cat thanks him, and watches over you two.

Solomon

Solomon invited you over for a study session. He may be a little shady, but he does care for you, as a fellow human.

He was ecstatic to see Buff Cat come with you, because he still wants to dissect your cat.

He was about to talk to you about letting him research you cat, but you made yourself comfortable on his bed, and Buff Cat began to put on glasses and take out a pointer.

He didn’t have anytime to talk beforehand, as you were highlighting certain areas of your book, your cat pointing to certain parts, and you patted the bed beside you for Solomon to join.

Solomon’s plans to dissect your cat are set back another day, but he takes great interest in the way he teaches. Your cat is very methodical about how to remember things, and explains(meows) it rather simply.

He swears that your cat is not a normal human cat, but why can he sense literally zero magic power from it? If only Buff Cat could teach him that.

Solomon also gets 100% on the next test by remembering everything the way Buff Cat had taught you two.

Simeon

Absolutely chaotic man, when he sees you and Buff Cat in a classroom when school was over, he approached you two, and said hello.

You greeted him, and so did Buff Cat. He asked what you were doing after school so late, and that it was dangerous for the two of you. Buff Cat not so much but could still be in danger.

You told him you were studying for the upcoming test, and that Buff Cat was helping you.

Simeon was like!!! 💖👉👈💖💖💖💖🥰🥰🥺🥺 could I join?? This sounds so fun!! Buff Cat is so smart!!

He does not question the fact he’s studying with a cat, learning from a cat, or just how nice your cat can write on paper, like perfect handwriting.

He has such chaotic energy that he’s just like you, what a cute cat!

Luke

no.

just no.

he’s fine with your cat but does your cat have to be in buff form when you’re being taught?

he is happy you are getting good grades but please get him away from buff form buff cat.

#obey me #obey me swd #obey me hc #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanon #buff cat

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tobiosmilktea · 4 years ago

Text

artificial paradise — kozume kenma

4.3k words | genre/s: fluff | warning/s: badly written basketball games | pairing: kenma x f!reader

↪︎ in which animal crossing became you and kenma’s artificial paradise

a/n: request for @lalesnotes, this prompt was so cute thanks for requesting ! i kind of had writers block while writing this as i’m broke and have never played acnh nor played basketball lol

three pm and an aching body is what best described you at this very moment. with the slight burning sensation radiating throughout your thighs, sprinting as fast as you could across the basketball court in which you shouted, “i’m open!” it was accompanied by the squeaking of your sneakers against the shiny gymnasium floors of nekoma.

within a fraction of a second, your eyes swiftly flickered towards the scoreboard and the time. the scores were neck and neck with the time for the last quarter of the practice team neared it’s last evident seconds.

10... 9... 8...

the ball was thrown towards you with its orange hues blending into a blur as you had snatched it midair. planting your foot firmly into the wooden baseboards of the court, you jumped high in the air. it was that very moment that everything felt like it moved in a slow motion, that everything muddied into nothing but that very moment; with the mixing cacophonies of shouting teammates and the thunderous pumping of your blood and adrenaline, nothing mattered but that shot.

and just as quickly the feeling of rising spiraling skies soared, they diminished like a crashing wave with your feet landing square on the ground again. your eyes were soaked in the liquor of the innate animistic adrenaline whenever you got too into a game. no matter whether it was just a simple practice game like this, you still took the sport you were most passionate about just as serious as a real game. an inaudible sigh was pulled out of your lungs as you watched the ball swish into the net the moment the deafening noise of the last buzzer.

cheers erupted from the sidelines, mostly from your teammates, the managers, and your coach lulled through one ear and out the other as your arms finally drop to you sides.

“great job today, (y/n).” your team captain compliments, patting your shoulder as her tall figure loomed over you. she was a basketball player and it shouldn’t be much of a surprise when your entire team’s average height was much higher than most. it would in fact be a lot higher if your height didn’t skew the numbers so greatly.

it wasn’t like you were that short. in fact, you were taller than majority of the girls in nekoma at a good 170 cm, not that it mattered anyway. you were still a substantial part of nekoma’s woman’s basketball team as their point guard, you always held such a title since you started playing in elementary school.

“thanks, yoshida.” you threw her a smile as you made your way towards the benches to grab your water bottle.

you tugged at the lid, getting ready to take a sip when your wandering eyes fell upon a familiar face lingering near the entrance of the gymnasium. kozume kenma in all his nonchalant glory was waiting near the entrances like he always did after school. since your first year together, he had that habit of arriving to the gym early to watch you play. however, never in a million years would he actually reveal that type of information to you as he seemed you would deem it as creepy. he didn’t want to sever the already lacking connection with you by saying something stupid. so yeah, his only excuse was that volleyball practice takes place after the basketball team’s.

it wasn’t at all a complete lie, it was true, which is the only reason why you don’t give him a mere look of disgust whenever you see him arrive to the gymnasium thirty minutes before his actual practice starts. usually you would greet him kindly once you had your bag all packed up and ready to leave. a simple wave and that sweet smile you always had on whenever you said ‘hi’ or ‘goodbye’ to him was always enough to fuel his yearning heart for you.

you were this close, and yet he couldn’t help but seem farther than he thinks he is.

your eyes finally left nekoma’s setter the moment you saw that he was too enamored in his game to even catch your glance like he normally does. you sipped quickly from you water bottle before packing your things up in your bag. grabbing one of the straps in a quick swipe, it lands on your right shoulder as you made your way towards kenma.

upon closer inspection, he was actually playing on his gray nintendo switch lite with little sound emitting from the console that rang familiar in your ears. the game’s nuanced cacophonies was far too iconic for you not to recognize from the villager’s incomprehensible mumbles and the sounds of getting a rare fish while fishing switched a flip in your brain. without a second thought, you approached kenma much faster than you anticipated.

you had definitely caught him off guard when he stared at you with enlarged eyes at your sudden burst. you didn’t even say ‘hi’ to him before bombarding the poor guy.

“is that the new animal crossing?” you beamed at him.

kenma’s heart jumped when you did so, only to beat faster than ever when you peered over his shoulder to watch his game. this was the closest you were to him and he could hear your gentle breathing and your warm aura completely surrounding his body in a warmth he didn’t actually hate for once. the was the thing he liked most about you. an action like this—ultimately invading his personal space like kuroo and lev always did—was something he always hated, but he didn’t mind if it was you. if anything he wanted you closer as you intoxicated him with your smell of sugarcoated cherries and dazzling psyche.

“yeah,” was all he could say. it was breathless and laced with a sudden shock that you didn’t mind knowing that he was usually quiet.

“your character is really cute, it looks just like you.” you complimented and kenma could’ve swore he would have confessed to you then and there when you literally just called him cute. you didn’t even notice his burning red cheeks as you continued, “you should add me so we can visit each other’s islands.”

kenma swiftly nods, trying to act as his usual, mellow self when he handed you his switch. he looked nonchalant, but in reality, he was bouncing off the walls. you typed in your info quickly before you offered the device back to him, your hands touching his slightly. “thanks,” kenma almost strains as he smiled at him one last time before waving him goodbye.

“i’ll get on later!” you exclaimed as you were already out of the gym, watching as the setter pursed a smile and waved back at you gently.

consider the following: how the hell did you and kenma end up talking about your love lives while playing animal crossing?

well the answer was simple, really. you and kenma had been playing together on animal crossing for a good few weeks now everyday after school once your basketball practice and his volleyball practice had finished; you two log on and go to each other’s islands doing nothing but occasionally trading a couple turnips, fishing, and catching spiders together. and in those past few weeks you and the setter have been getting to know each other through the game in a more or less practical way.

so far, your only way of communication is from chatting on the actual game, instead of perhaps calling each other or facetiming. you two literally had each other’s numbers, and yet you both loathe the fear and the racing pulse of asking the latter whether or not they wanted to talk over the phone instead.

you were surprised on how consistently fine you two were talking like this when it tended to get a tad bit annoying at times. like when kenma had so much more to say, but his message would’ve been too long and double texting was apparently something he was a bit embarrassed about. apparently, he thinks he’s being annoying if he responded more than once in a row. you on the other hand, believed that his short answers meant that he was starting to get bored of the small talk. honestly, it was understandable the amount of times you two talked about each other’s days while fishing.

so here you were, trying to spice things up in the conversation by talking about your love lives (or lack thereof) while hanging out on kenma’s island. it was a bit of a leap as you literally jumped from talking about your upcoming sports games to whether you two were in relationships.

lycheey/n: do you like anyone?

kenma practically felt his heart soar and going a bit lightheaded when you asked that question. his palms started to get clammy as he gripped onto his nintendo switch tightly, thumbs hovering over the keyboard as he hesitated to type.

the memory suddenly rang over him to early today when kuroo noticed how close you were standing next to kenma. you watched him play whatever rpg game he was incredibly enamored in, admiring his chamomile eyes and dry cheeks as you completely ignored kuroo who stood right there. kenma didn’t even notice how close you were next to him as the past weeks you had been hanging around him during lunch, he perhaps had gotten used to your presence—almost angelic and comforting. if anything, if you were to suddenly become absent from his side, he would immediately feel the lacking warmth of your aura he loved so dear about you.

“i think you should confess already,” kuroo had discreetly bumped his shoulder with kenma as he watched you walk away.

the setter had almost choked on his juice box as he gave a look towards the raven haired boy. “that’s not gonna happen.”

“uh, yes it will.” kuroo scoffs, pressing further into the topic. “i am not going to graduate from this high school without you confessing to (y/n)!”

“stop being so loud!” exclaimed kenma as hues of pink embarrassment tinted his cheeks. he attempted to block out his best friend’s stupid antics by focusing his attention back onto his game.

“i just think you should confess to her soon,” he muttered nonchalantly. “she does have a game after school on friday... maybe you could confess to her then.”

kenma ignored him.

but kuroo continued anyway, “if nekoma wins the game, it’ll be a good ass day for (y/n).” he tried to reason enticingly.

“and if our team loses?”

“(y/n) would be disappointed, but she would be immediately cheered up the moment the guy she likes finally confesses to her.”

kenma couldn’t help but roll his eyes, “she doesn’t like me back, kuroo.”

“are you kidding me right now, kenma?” his eyes widen in utter surprise, “she’s literally around you almost everyday during lunch and you two play animal crossing for hours after school. you’re telling me, that she doesn’t like you? kenma, any person with half a brain cell can see that you both have feelings for each other.”

from then on, that thought forever spiraled within kenma’s head the rest of the day. he figured it would’ve disappeared into oblivion by the time he hopped onto animal crossing with you, but the moment you asked him that damned question, it only ached in reincarnation. it turned his mind into a road of hurricanes as he finally noticed how long he was stuck in his thoughts that minutes had gone by of not answering.

without even thinking, he immediately typed:

kenmaclan: yes.

fuck. kenma thought, why the hell did i say that?

he swallowed his nerves as he straightened his posture the moment he saw that you were typing.

lycheey/n: i like someone too. i’ve actually liked them for a while now

there was an inkling within kenma as his throat suddenly dried upon reading your text. the inkling that perhaps you were talking about him (just as kuroo implied) left his imagination to completely explode into epiphanies of his dreams and wishes as his heart threatened to combust right then. you didn’t even confess to him and yet the setter found his fingers liking faster than his brain could comprehend what he was even doing

kenmaclan: i like yo-

but before he could type the full response, you had already sent another message.

lycheey/n: it’s getting late, kenma. it was really fun playing with you today, same time tomorrow?

kenma felt his shoulders shudder in relief as he immediately deleted his text. perhaps it was the world telling him it wasn’t a good idea so say at that very moment and he was incredibly thankful that you had sent your message a millisecond quicker. it perhaps spared kenma from another age of absolute embarrassment that he wanted to just crawl in a hole and live there for the rest of his life.

kennaclan: goodnight, (y/n) :)

today was perhaps the day that kenma would meet his demise. it was finally friday and the final school bell rang across nekoma in a uniform blast. almost immediately, students packed their things and made their way towards the gym to watch the basketball game as inevitably, kenma found himself within the migrating crowds as well.

his pumping nerves ached, palms perspired in a clammy mess, his heart thudding against his lungs and rib cage at a hundred miles per hour, and even his peachy lips swelled into a crimson from the amount of times he nibbled at them impatiently. was it obvious how nervous he was?

evidently, the day of kenma’s demise was the day he was going to confess to you and never in his life he just wanted to disappear. he was far too deep within his nervous psyche to even notice he was already in the gymnasium, sitting next to kuroo while he stared off into oblivion.

kuroo noticed your gaze glancing upon kenma, causing the volleyball captain to swiftly pinch his setter into reality to meet your eyes.

within a snap, kenma found you on the sidelines of the basketball court warming up. you smiled at him so sweetly with your usual wave of your hand towards him, the boy couldn’t help but immediately forget his nerves to smile back. it was so obvious how much to affected him, it was crystal clear. yet both you and kenma refused to wipe off the fog to fully see.

the game started as usual, nekoma had touched the ball first the moment the ref tossed it up high in the air. fortunately, nekoma was in the lead by a good five points, and yet that could easily change if anyone let’s their guard down even for a second.

you liked to think that you were always competitive no matter what. you were willing to turn anything into a competition from basketball games to racing on who could log into animal crossing faster. kenma always enjoyed that little fire within your eyes, especially when he watched your figure dash down the court with the ball in your grasp. dribbling it quickly, you tossed it up towards the hoop feeling the entire court’s eyes upon you as you watched the orange ball roll around the hoop before falling successfully through.

a cheer emitted from kenma and kuroo as they jumped up from their seats. it wasn’t the most groundbreaking shot as it only added two points to the score board, but any shot made by you was something kenma would always cheer for.

it continued like this for the rest of the game. it was you who often shot or assisted your team into scoring as you kept your team ahead from the cusp of falling behind. nekoma was only one point ahead from the opposing team in a constant pendulum of tying, to being behind, to catching up again, to getting ahead once more. it was stressful on everyone present in the gymnasium. it had kenma teetering in the balls of his feet as every sudden move the players made, he felt his breath hitch.

the sounds of hearts pounding in quick rhythms and blood surging didn’t cease, in fact it only worsened in the forth quarter of the game when nekoma and the opposing went neck on neck.

the desperation on both teams were evident as sweat and adrenaline left your body drenched in a heated fervor.

the opposing team swiftly attempted a shot from the right side of the three point line. you watched as the basketball spun in revolutions, travelling through the air beneath the bright harsh lights of the gym. you hadn’t even noticed yourself holding your breath as the ball neared the hoop, it was only then it ricocheted off the metal hoop and against the backboard, causing the ball to fall off to the side instead of making it.

relief coursed through your body as the ball landed into nekoma captain’s hands, immediately triggering your body to move. dashing towards the other side of the court, a player from the other team blocked your view from yoshida with frustrated sigh left your lips as you attempted to move away from the player blocking you, rising your hands up as if to call for yoshida’s attention.

the captain’s eyes flickered towards you and another teammate swiftly. you were in the perfect spot to make a spot, and yet you were stick being blocked by the opposing team. meanwhile, your other teammate was open and yet she was way to far to make a shot guaranteed to make it in. seeing that you were still too preoccupied, yoshida passed the ball towards your other teammate who dribbled her way towards to the hoop.

there was only twenty seconds left on the clock.

with everyone on the edge of their seaats, your teammate distracted the person blocking you enough for you to side step in front of them and retrieving the ball from your teammate.

“(y/l/n)!” she shouts, tossing it towards you. and with quick reflexes, you were already making your shot a millisecond after your retrieved it.

it was then you felt a major rush of familiarity.

10... 9... 8...

that same familiar ticking.

that same feeling of planting your foot firmly into the wooden boards of the court and jumping high in the air. it was that very moment that everything felt like it moved in a slow motion, that everything muddied into nothing but that very moment; with the mixing cacophonies of shouting teammates and the thunderous pumping of your blood and adrenaline, nothing mattered but that shot.

you swore you felt like you were back in the middle of a practice. from the past months of hard work was leading up to this very moment and you hoped to the gods that you were the one to make this shot. you were tired and fatigued, your legs burned at every step you took and your lungs ached at the freezing bite of the air conditioned gymnasium air. if you were to miss, the game would continue on to overtime with your ability to stay at top shape was quickly diminishing.

with exhausted eyes, you watched the ball fall into the hoop with a perfect swish.

the sound of the basketball barely touching the net was music to your ears. certainly the sudden outburst of cries and shouts from the nekoma side of the gymnasium was like a lovely orchestra as the ball bounced on the floor in a rhythmic beat. the thunderous buzzer sound echoed throughout the building as all of a sudden, you were engulfed in a tight hug from the sweaty bodies of your teammates. warmth surrounded you like a knit blanket, savoring that feeling of happiness and excitement of victory.

kenma was absolutely beaming at you. with a bright smile that could blind any sorry victim, his voice was on the cusp of completely being gone from how loud he was cheering for you. that all your hard work from practicing until your feet bled to even playing animal crossing with him despite being so incredibly tired, he was so proud of you, he wished you could see his face right now.

however, you were too preoccupied in your post-victory glow that you were with your team and shaking the hands of the opposing. to think that your usual aura of blossoming sunflowers was your very max was clearly wrong. if anything, you were brighter than ever know as kenma knew you could easily outshine the brightest of stars. he wanted to experience that—to make you so incredibly happy that you were irrevocably shining.

even when your team started lining up towards the sidelines, the setter immediately ran down the bleachers to see you. it hadn’t even hit him yet that he was basically at the cusp of confessing to you, but his excitement just to pull you into his embrace clouded his mind.

“kenma?” you say surprised as you saw his figure dash towards you.

your breath left your lungs as he pulled you close, “you did amazing, (y/n).”

in a sudden downpour of emotions, your cheeks heated up in pretty pink shades. you hoped that kenma couldn’t feel your swift beating heart through your chest as you buried your head into his neck. your rush of exciting adrenaline calmed at his signature aroma of sun-melted wax, wishing your could stay like this forever.

then the thought sudden rang through your brain that you were drenched in sweat and probably smelled like a bull’s ass. you immediately pull away as you threw him a nervous smile. “thanks,” you mutter awkwardly. “by the way, kuroo said that you wanted to tell me something?”

shit, kenma thought as it finally hit him. his fight or flight response was immediately triggered like nothing before with his usual nonchalant self was taken over by a bundle of nerves with blond hair.

he gulped, “i have to get home now, but i just wanted to say that we should meet on animal crossing once you get home, okay?”

your eyebrows furrow in sudden confusion. "um, okay.” you could barely say before the setter left the gym faster than he came to you.

a slight burning sensation radiated throughout kenma’s thighs, sprinting as fast as he could back to his house as the yellow enormities of the day blended into the dark blue hues of the night sky. he stumbled through the streets of tokyo, thanking the heavens that nekoma was only a couple blocks away from his house and not a whole train ride like you had.

it allowed him enough time to log into his animal crossing before you could in order to fix anything up on his island. you see, for the past two nights kenma had been purposely meeting at your island instead of yours as he was preparing something special for you. it needed to be perfect.

he was well aware that he did not have to guts to confess to you in real life, so his second option was the virtual safe haven you two had created on animal crossing. he had spent ages eating fruit from trees to get his character enough strength to break rocks in the right places he wanted them to be. turns out, it took hours of effort to do and lowkey it barely looks comprehensible. kenma definitely did have enough time to make it any better as he waited for the clock to tick to 7 o’clock. this was usually the time you arrived home and should be getting into animal crossing any second.

kenma’s nerves swelled for the umpteenth time today as this was the most nervous he had ever been. it wasn’t evident on his mellow visage, but inside he was could very well explode at any second. he was too caught up in his own thoughts that he didn’t see the silhouette of the game’s airplane arriving to his island with you in it.

lycheey/n: i’m here! what did you want to show me?

the setter swallowed his pride, here goes nothing. surely, it wouldn’t be that bad right? he was confessing on animal crossing for fuck’s sake, if anything went bad then all he’d have to do is log off and never leave his room again!

kenma groaned frustratingly. why did it have to be this hard?

kenmaclan: follow me pls

each second that passed of their two avatars running towards the northweset side of his island, kenma fought himself to continue going and not just log out then and there.

the soft padding of your cute character’s feet came to a stop suddenly as your read the message written by the rocks and boulders. you felt your breath hitch with the thumping of your hide going into overdrive.

i <3 u

the message had said with dozens of flowers surrounding the rocks. if anything, you were glad you were alone in your room and away from kenma as you screamed into your own pillow. feeling your cheeks absolutely blaze in heat as even your ears tinted red from the sudden wave of adoration filled your veins.

this was so goddamn cute you were literally about to combust.

the thing is, you spent a good five minutes blushing to yourself that kenma was confused at your silence, your character wasn’t moving either and he was starting to think of the worse. what if you were laughing at him? what if you were thinking about ways to reject him? perhaps ways to loosen the harsh blow of it, maybe? but he was far from right. if anything, you were thinking of cute ways to respond, to correctly tell him your feelings that you both had for each other.

you finally regained your composure as you started typing.

lycheey/n: i <3 too

it was strange how a game like this had become your artificial paradise.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu oneshots #haikyuu x reader #kozume kenma #kenma x reader #kenma imagines #kenma scenarios #kenma fluff #kenma oneshot #hq kenma

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daughterofhel · 3 years ago

Text

My icon died last night.

The little black and white cat, Auk (or-ick). A silly name from a badly remembered name from my childhood.

He was pretty much deaf; car got him.

I haven’t seen him since I left Texas, as I moved for a year to VA before finally moving to be with my wife in Vento. One of my guy friends family took him in on their ranch.

It was fitting; I did get Auk from a ranch. He was used to it, loved it even. And this was without the competition of an unhealthy amount of breeding stays like the ones I grabbed him and Ivy up from. I could only take two, my friend the same.

Funny. I had originally gone there to see the birth of a colt only to leave with a cat. Return the next day and get one more, a friend for my tiny runt of a thing.

And who should but all demand it be him to leave with me but Auk? The friendliest of cats that I’ve ever had the pleasure to be around. He also thwarted my attempts at having two girl cats. He was insistent to leave with me and you don’t argue when you’re chosen you know?

I won’t detail the tears following or the rough road and chaos that went on, but many double shifts back to back to back endlessly, a medicated clumsy grandmother with rapidly failing health, and complex roommate situations, I just wasn’t able to provide the needed time and care for my cats.

I cried the entire 45 minute drive to my buddys property when he said he could take them in. I had to pull over twice. They also cried the entire time, being afraid of the car, which made it harder. My buddy, He was the same guy who rescued a big pup clearly abandoned some years back. I had helped train him to not jump on people and other stuff. His folks also owned a longhorn ranch, lots and lots of space.

Those cats deserved better and this was a familiar element, now neutered, vaccinated, and with no stray competition and the dog was so careful. But god. I never wanted to say goodbye to my cats. It didn’t matter though, what I wanted; they needed care and time I wasn’t able to keep providing.

So I dropped them off. As expected, Ivy kept close but never got too close to the family. She simply doesn’t trust; I’ve no idea why such a little thing bonded instantly with me and remained quite the fixed cuddle bug. But she had. I felt worse about it with her than Auk if I’m to be honest.

Auk loved attention. Loved fetch. Belly rubs. This cat was a classic dog and a huge whore for attention. XD He essentially made himself at home and lavished any and all attention, to which my buddies mother instantly fell for this fuzzy dorks charms. He has been well cared for.

I know younger me could’ve and should’ve done better when I got these cats. Mind you, I’ve been gone for over 10 years now, so it has been quite some time. I’m doing what I wish I could have done for my cats then with the two rescues we got last year here.

I was young and working so many hours for nearly no profit after stuff was paid, even living at home and with roommates. I couldn’t afford the extra vet fees I needed or the fanciest of foods or any of that. I loved them, and I felt them being with me instead of the half starving state they were in from constantly competing with so many other cats, was still a better option for them. I still was at least able to do some of the important visits for them.

I cleared their fleas and earmites. I never did get rid of Ivys worms, though I desperately tried. I tried so many ways to get this pill into that cat. Even crushed into wet food. Friends helping to wrap and hold her to make her swallow. All the tricks we found, failed. She just. She wouldn’t take it. And I didn’t have the cash to go every single day and time she needed a dose to a pet clinic. I had checked more than once. It was so much money.

Older, better situated now.. I’ve been able to do right by the cats, Nyx and Tivali, that I have now.

We even saved Nyx’s eye. We have a system to give her her seizure medicine every 12 hours. They’re both fully up to date with their shots and are fixed. Ears totally clean. Monthly newly added anti flea tick collars.

The best food we can reasonably find at the local pet shop; their pelts are beautiful, soft, shiny, and they never smell.

We’ve even found a biodegradable corn based litter we can flush which has been the greatest find.

We get semi regular check ups on our girls and they’re doing just fine now. I’m still proud about saving Nyx’s eye. It was a tedious ordeal. 3-4 times a day we had to clean and medicate a cats eye. We got good at it even if she wasn’t fond of it. Thankfully the vitamins they required were like treats. Even the antibiotics from the colds they had from the shelter.

I miss Auk. And Ivy. And I wish I could’ve not only given them the life I’ve given my current cats now, (I’ve constructed basket beds, hammocks, a whole canopy jungle gym and rope bridge to boot for them with my wife!), but I wish I could have been the one to have them in my life still. I know it was not possible. It wouldn’t have been possible.

But I think of them. A lot. And I knew it was inevitable. Auk would’ve been well over 13 or so years by now. A little old but could’ve lived longer yet for sure. My buddy didn’t mention he has gone deaf. Of course he rarely goes home himself; I don’t blame him. Life’s complicated.

I have mourned these two cats multiple times now. So I’m not thrown into tears upon this news, I’ve cried plenty over the years already. But I’m still sad to hear that fuzzy delight has passed on. I won’t ask, but I hope, and believe, the accident was a quick end for such a friendly guy.

I’ll mourn him eventually in full. I know I will. But considering this is the fourth major bad news I’ve gotten in less than a month and most of it a week, I thought to write about it. If only to keep sane.

May I not receive the same news of my grandmother or my sister who both remain in the hospital.

And god. May my mother stop forcing me to recall and talk about our shared trauma under my father and just keep me up to date on my families health. I don’t want to be crushed under this suffocating vice on my neck that makes me hesitate to call and see my family. I know she needs to vent. And god. I try to let her. I do. I try to be kind; she needs it.

But it isn’t the time and place when I’m trying to figure out if my grandmother is dying or getting better. I shouldn’t have to receive that confirmation, be granted a brief video called hello and check in, with the price of an hour long dredge through a past I personally have gone to two different types of therapy through to try and cope with. Which, only to some degree, have helped.

One of the last longer calls we had she all but said she hoped her theories on my father possible molesting me were true, so, you know, that would be one more trauma we had in common. She went on and on, even trying to provide loose evidence to her theory. Troubling sentences I would say in my rare visits. Etc. She just. Wouldn’t. Stop. And that was after an hour of recalling how terrible her life was with my father and the abuse, the screaming, the terror, the hiding, the injuries, all of it. As if I wasn’t left to live my life with this very man she said her three years with ruined her more than all her past shit combined.

She assured me she was a good mother who tried. And honestly. No. But I do believe she tried. But she was already weak emotionally and mentally and my father wrecked what was left. She left me sometimes for a couple days lock in that house when I was in diapers. You don’t forget that shit. I’m still scared of the dark. I can’t reason with myself on it. But being mad about all of it doesn’t change anything and would hurt a woman already broken. Why would I do that.

Still. It bothers me. So fucking much. But she’s such a fragile person in a fragile emotional state with everything else on top. She’s been heavily depressed for many many years and it’s a bunch of other stuff that spirals and honestly, at this point, she’s toxic even to herself. I’ve tried working on it with her but it matters not if she’s not willing to work on it too. I don’t know my mother besides her many traumas. We’ve been separated and estranged for most of my life. Unless I was physically able to actually be there and provide a use.

But that’s par for the course; no one will have you around if you’re unable to provide something for it. My wife’s the first person who genuinely seems to enjoy having me around just because and wants nothing more. I do stuff of course; but with her I am not afraid a slip up could mean everything it taken away and lost. I can forget the dishes once or had a bad mental health day and stay in bed without it having catastrophic consequences. She’s such a wonderful kind woman; I cannot help stressing over how to repay her.

I try and I’ve expressed my distraught on the topic and though she always seems baffled and confused about my insistence that I should be doing far more, that lass doesn’t agree at all. It’s her parents home so I am not able to freely run the house as I would on our own, as I’m able and have in many places, so I’m often less useful with the restrictions. She’s also use to the flow and swing of things and has things half done before it’s being asked.

Our own place will make life smoother and calmer for both of us; most importantly her. I’ve watched this family, sweet, but absolutely tone deaf to how many and often their demands are tossed to her. All the other kids moved out with partners. Hell, the oldest s child basically lives here. Our own hurdle with raising a kid who we don’t have the final say on any single thing. His grandparents are enablers cuz they don’t want to hear any loud noises, no matter what. And that causes strain when the kid can and does get anything and everything as long as he kicks up a fit. And he sure as hell does. There are days it’s so bad my wife’s in tears. And that pisses me off. The kids a good person, but the fact no one will actually parent and draw definite lines and be firm with No’s can also make him horrible too.

I’ve to deal with the chess match that is my father. I often call him my own personal Devil. He kind of is. But one I’m familiar enough with at this point in my life. I know where and when to cut my losses, where to step around, when I need to swallow my pride or the easily seen through lies, and nod my head. If he was all terrible, I could have cut him from my life. But no one ever really is. And I do know I owe it to the man; he has helped tremendously in my life as much as he’s been a big problem of it. I know his biggest fear is to be alone and forgotten. I wouldn’t do that, not even to the devil.

I need some bland news. Not thrilling. Not depressing. Just some ‘hey that happened’ ‘oh cool.’ Kind of news. Just a small reprieve.

Im. Scared. Of what’s next.

I. Know that things are teetering dangerously into a very very tragic terrible story on my mothers end. I know her husbands already super suicidal. My half brothers severely autistic, non verbal, among a few other things and will require his whole life to have someone be there for him. He’s not stupid, and I hate when people treat him as so, but he is absolutely unable to care for himself. He doesn’t have the right motorskills even, though we’ve gone to many different places to try and help him find ways to do actions in his own way that still get the same result. I admire how he’s such a positive little man, generally not just happy, but delighted. I aspire to look at the world like he does. He reminds me to try. I do love that about him.

He is, however, a Big boy, 15 now, and growing. He’s also very strong now. My mother is getting to an age where his, as well call em happy slaps, are really hurting her. He is generally good about slapping your hands and not your back if you provide them. But when he is upset he is a shover; one bad fall could really cause a lot of chaos for my mother with her health. The husband spends most of his time locked in his room.

My half sister is epileptic. They have done tests for years and can’t figure out all her triggers or the whys. They just sometimes stop for a long time then suddenly happen. She’s 16, turning 17 soon. And I don’t even know if she’s going to be, since my mother won’t let me know. And there are large gaps from my sister being on tech due to concerns of what triggered her seizure this time so she’s often removed from electronic devices for a time.

When I had turned 21, my mother and her husband tried to have me sign a paper to become legal guardian of my half siblings, should something happen to them, so the kids didn’t get separated.

At that time, I was still taking care of my fathers mother along with working at a shit job, and had a house full of temporary roommates who I had offered rooms to as a sort of safe house for them. I have a knack for finding people from broken homes, what can I say? With the house my father and I built, we had space, so I used it. I was able to help the girls get out of toxic places, get on their feet, and move on. Not all of them always. But it did generally work out. One has a boyfriend who was growing worse to her on top of getting more and more into hard drugs while also she dealing with an abusive aunt who got worse once her mother died of cancer. So she was stuck with the terrible boyfriend. I had her stay with me as soon as I heard.

Another was complicated, but generally revolved around the alcoholic mother and the many, shady, men in and out of the house. The dangers of that alone were.. problematic without the friend also being suicidal and not taken seriously. I’ve stayed many times with her to just hang out, clean, cook, or even read a book cuz she just wanted to hear someone talking and such. You know? Until eventually I had her move in with me too.

Another’s mothers died of a cancer and dad an alcoholic; not abusive, he just became childlike and super forgetful. To a hurtful degree in his totally dependent state, whenever he was home. Plus their whole little trailer smelled of piss. And her boyfriend (they’re married with kids and happy now) was in jail. He had a bad past but had cleaned up his act quite well, but. Well that’s complicated. We all know that the police don’t squint at details of any issue if the accused has a problematic past.

I had two different girls with trouble at home who were being used by their family to constantly work, clean, and pay for everything.

I had an ex and her girlfriend with problematic homophobic parents who were terrible and semi violent so I had them stay with us so they could be together somewhere safer.

I did not. At all. Have the assured means to also be a parent of ten children with very different needs nor any medical benefits to help out with.

I also knew, that, with how my mothers husband was, if he had some guarantees for his children’s safety, he would likely end his life if he could. He’s been so close so many times. If signed this paper, he would have the last big most important concern that’s kept him from.. I just. I didn’t want him to do it. I selfishly didn’t want to be responsible for my siblings that would take away any bit of time I had for myself away. If anything happened, I would not abandon and forget my siblings. That’s absurd. But my mother implied heavily she wanted to be sure of that. And thus this paper.

I was struggling to find aid for college so I could go to school (never got to, by the way. Minus two classes in total. Aced them both, but it doesn’t matter. Credits in the wind). I was already dealing with my grandmother. The girls I chose to help. My shit job. My fathers temper and his horrible horrible ‘on again off again’ girlfriend. The chaos that alone committed.

I was busy providing a safe space in my home and making sure it stayed that way for the rare times trouble makers made the mistake of stepping up to my door to try and harass my girls.

I often worked 10 days in a row before a day off. Many of those days often had double shifts which were 16 hours. Sometimes I got an hour nap on the double shifts.

I just couldn’t do it.

And now. I remember something that came to mind back then that comes back to mind now. My moms husband adores my grandma. She’s been better to him than his own mother. She’s dying. He’s not taking it well and his mental health has always been pretty low and in the last couple years, already dangerously rock bottom. I’ll admit, same.

His daughter is now in the hospital. My brother is smart but there are some things we can’t really explain for him to get. He understands something is wrong but not sure what and it upsets him. He doesn’t like change and gets super fussy for it. Which can be taxing and hours and days and weeks of it. Grandmas been in the hospital for a couple more or more now. She coded a few days ago but they got her back.

If grandma dies. If something happens to my sister…

God. I don’t see that man sticking around.

And with my mom isolated. A lot of it her doing with her own family but also a good part of it being dumb petty bs of other folks that have no reason to behave like that (a whole drama I don’t have the energy to keep up with..). I just.

I see it as a domino effect of terrible terrible events I don’t want to write.

My mothers side im not very close to. I don’t blame my cousins, we were kids ajd our meetings were brief as they were. But the adults kept their distance with me. No one expected me to survive and decided it was easier to not get attached. To not get involved with me, and by extension, the devil himself, my father. So I never got the chance to know that family. Even when I tried.

So the only family I do have some ties to ajd know, is in a hospital bed, or on my dads side, and they’re dying to. And I get it… that at a certain age in life, many of the people around you start to. It’s just life. Ajd it sucks. And I miss having a best friend. I miss having friends who just seem to like to have me around. Want to have me around.

And I wonder if the friends I thought I made with my roommates were just because I provided something for them. Sure we laughed a lot, we cried over shared traumas, celebrated holidays together so as to not be alone.

But not a one speaks to me now. And hey. That’s also life. But it makes me feel pretty shitty; every where I look in the past, I can’t see any relationship, family, partner, friendship, that ever had me around unless I was providing services they wanted and needed. And I don’t mean the natural give and take.

I’m aware that I’m not the friend folks have around. I’m a fun distraction at best and have been told and reminded as such. I feel like shit cuz my wife’s wonderful and the best person in my life, and yet I still mourn having close friends to hang with. I miss gaming together the most. Or the bullshitting. Sharing food.

I’m not a nice person. I’m working on it. I am. I’ve also, for years, been working on my own personal problems so as to not bring them into even conversations. I don’t know what I am doing wrong but I just.. can’t seem to keep anyone around. And frankly.

I find myself crying about it a lot with no idea what to do.

And. I’m burnt out.

I don’t want to make friends anymore. And yet I still crave it. Which sucks. I can’t stop seeming to want that. And I keep trying. And trying.

I’m trying to accept and be happy with any bit of time I get from the few friends who talk to me. I try to take my chances where I can to hang out (online, as they’re all distance by now), cuz I know it’s a short window and I’ll be lucky to get a next time in the near future.

Online is harder to provide a use, and once the ‘honeymoon phase’ of the friendship winds down, some drop off the map entirely. A few abruptly. And I just. That’s fucked me ho a ton. I can’t even express how many hours I stay sitting. Thinking. Unable to understand what I am not doing or what I am.

It’s a pity party. I know. But it’s fine. I’m still the only one at it and though I’m quite forward even with nerves eating away at me, I still just don’t know how to keep anyone in my life.

It’s taken almost 6 years for me to relax enough to believe my wife will, in fact, stick around.

But at this point in time, I’ve realized, on a note I just keep getting really sad over, that the bits of friendship I’ll get to experience with people, will be brief, snippets, and frankly, only if I am providing something they’re not getting.

I’m essentially the magazine next to the toilet when you have a bad bad stomach bug and your phones dead.

Man’s that’s.. probably my own doing. I know I’m a lot of woe is me in here. And it’s a post talking to me, so I’m indulging in it. I absolutely can’t out loud or in life. I’m working on just.. trying to feel instead of ignoring it. Per my therapists suggestions. So I feel fucking overwhelmed, sad, and alone. Isolated. Heavily.

Ignorance is bliss for real. I wish I wasn’t so aware that I was the friend you go to when all options are down and you’re bored. When you are in a bind and need a safe spot (I don’t mind that one but it does suck that it’s the only time some folks pop back in or up). That if I’m not working then no one even has a small little want to just say hi. I wish I had people who just wanted to say hi because they just.. missed me? I gues?

I wish I knew how to be better as a person and a friend. I thought I was making strides on that. I really had. And yet.

Here I am. Just.

Bitching to the void. Becuase my wife doesn’t need me to add more to her life with her father (finally back from the hospital after surgery) and his health concerned along with everyone else’s and the own sets of ordeals here. I don’t need her to fret over me.

She’s needed distraction and I’ve left her alone for a couple weeks now to her drawing. Probably one of the best things I did do for her was clean up a space for a literal drawing room for her. She’s happier for it. People compliment her art and she rather enjoys the well deserved attention.

I personally would love to have her around more. But I’m having a lot of bad shit days. Weeks at this point. And I’m using my energy to be useful in setting the table or doing the dishes, the cats, playing with the nephew, etc.

All I want to do is sleep.

Frankly. I’m tired of waking up.

But for her. I will.

#void screaming #ignore

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