#('I literally do not know what a wedding is')

[retiredteabag]

Wishful Thinking

arranged marriage with nanami… a continuation

pt. 1 - pt. 2

〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰

The silence that permeates the car you were shuffled into with your husband is suffocating.

Your life partner had let go of your hand the moment he had reached to buckle you into your seat. You strain your fingers now, hoping the sweat on your palms hadn't been noticeable.

A driver from your clan's estate had been tasked with dropping you and your husband off at your newly arranged space. You knew this man, the man who was seated directly to your left, was not affiliated with any clan, this meant you had no idea where you were headed.

Several shipments of your belongings had been retrieved over the weeks since the higher-up's declaration of marriage for you had been in place. A steady and simple move-in awaited you. Something you weren't particularly happy about.

You thought through a list of things to occupy yourself with instead of awkwardly standing in this stranger mans presence.

As curious as you were about your future arrangements, you truly could not ignore the silence in this vehicle much longer. Had you married any of the expected bachelors, you were sure your ear would be talked off at this point, yet, you did not even know this mans name.

You took in a deep breath, preparing to speak, the blonde fellow, (your literal husband) turned to meet your eyes, likely having expected you to say something. His eyes shock you, and you turn away once more to stare out the window.

You strain your hand into a fist and work up the courage. Turning with an inhale once more, you force out words before you can change your mind, "Terribly sorry..." You start, looking him in the eyes, "Could you remind me of your name?"

You had never been given it to begin with. Perhaps the officiant at your wedding had recited it in his speech, but you had been a little distracted at the time.

"I'm sorry?" He strains his neck in your direction, eyebrows raised.

"Your name? Sorry... I think I ought to know it, right?"

"You don't know my name?" His head shakes a little as he speaks, incredulous.

You hesitate, "...No? I wasn't paying the most attention for it during the ceremony..." You mumble the last bit, waiting for him to cut you off, but he just stares at you.

"I'm sorry-" His hand hovers mid-air, "You weren't given my name?"

Oh no, you've offended him.

"Oh! It's not like that! My family is....very fond of you! And the higher-ups speak very well of you as well! I...well...I erm..." How do you fix this? Stroke his ego?

His hand is firmly on his forehead now. "That is not what I meant. I'm asking you - you were not informed of my name? Who I am? Were you even aware you were to be wed?"

You fumble a bit with the skirt of your dress, "Of course! Yes, I just... well, I didn't know who, but the marriage bit was no surprise."

"But the rest, that is all true? You had no idea you would be marrying me?" He looks frustrated, to say the least. You had no idea this would come as shocking news, someone should have informed you.

He is peeking at you through his hand, "Well...no, but-" He cuts you off now, but he seems to not be speaking to you.

"No wonder you looked so ill up there..."

Okay ouch.

"When did you agree to this marriage? Was this simply... decided for you?

You weren't sure what to say. Had this not been decided for him as well? Speaking frankly, you were not entirely sure of why he had been chosen as your partner, he had no duty to his name. Even so, he looked repulsed at the realization, eyes shot wide.

"Well... it was-" Were you supposed to be talking about this? Should you say this to your husband? "Umm... Well, I'm sure you know the higher-ups are involved with the clans..."

He shifted in his seat to face you fully now, "You...were forced?" He almost looks frighted at the concept. You want to laugh.

Of course, you were. How else did he think marriage worked?

Despite your thoughts, all you said was, "No, it was a mutual understanding that I would be married."

"Yet you know nothing about me." He looks forward at the road.

Was that what this was about? "I'm a quick learner, if you're concerned about that."

He sighs and smacks a hand to his face again. "No...No that is not what concerns me."

You have a litany of responses ranging from, 'I see...' to 'what does concern you then?' but you say none of them. You just sit forward and stare at your palms.

Oddly enough, it does not take long for the silence to be broken once more.

"Nanami." He says.

"I'm sorry?" You hadn't expected him to speak, eyes wide, you turn to him again.

"Nanami Kento. That's-" He sighs, as if it's a real chore to introduce himself, "my name is Nanami Kento."

You look to one another for a moment before you quickly break the connection, gazing out your window, deigning to not look again until you arrived.

"Mmm...thank you." You finally say.

--

Although you knew the house was not terribly far from your family estate, it felt like hours had passed before you allowed yourself to move once more.

Mr. Nanami had climbed from his seat once the car had halted.

Eager to be away from me it seems.

Only, he had seemed surprised as you climbed from your door as well, having walked around to greet you.

"Allow me," He had said, reaching for the small train case in the back of the car, it had been filled with small wedding gifts and your husband insisted on carrying it for you.

I wonder how long he will keep up this act. You found yourself thinking. Your new residence was sizable. Nice, in an uncomfortably clean way. Perhaps that is how your husband liked it.

As you stepped over the threshold, moving out of "the man of the house's" way. You took it in.

This place must have been chosen by the higher-ups. Your father would not have bought you a home, nor did you expect a man without clan connections to have been able to purchase such a plot of land.

It was only mid-afternoon. Yet your life was impossibly different than it had been only a few hours prior. You had expected the driver to stay and discuss the honeymoon with the two of you but it seemed he had not been instructed with that information.

As many frightening realizations occurred to you, you were able to resign yourself to acceptance, putting aside the...bedding...situation... the concern that stuck with you was dinner plans.

Were you expected to have that prepared? You didn't know what he preferred though....

Thoughts of your...marital duties swam in your head while Nanami was making his way towards the living room.

"Of course," He was saying, "You're free to use whatever you like, these things are as much yours as they are mine..." He had rounded through the sitting area and around the kitchen into the master bedroom, never once turning to look at you.

It was clear that people had come to prepare the area for you two. On his bedside table, you see a comfortable pair of plaid pajama pants and a loose grey shirt. You had not been presented with such. No, on the bed, strewn out for the both of you to see was a... sordid... set of black lacy lingerie.

You stood in silence. A resigned look on your face. Your husband on the other hand, had coughed, spun around, and fully walked from the room in moments.

What was he doing? Was he sickened by you? Did he expect you to appreciate his apprehension? If you were being honest, you would like for him to get this act over with as quickly as possible.

Looking at your marital bed, you were once again reminded of your mother's sobs only this morning. You looked down at the gown that clung to your waist. You had felt pretty today, despite the occasion. You knew you would not feel beautiful in that raunchy piece of string.

How long do I have? You wondered.

Finally moving yourself, you come before the undergarments, sit next to them, and run your hand along the bed's silky duvet.

You sat in silence for longer than you expected to be given. You finally reached your hand up your spine. Unzipping the dress, unbuttoning the clasp at your neck.

You slid it off your body. Walking around the room near-nude to lay the dress along the ladder of a bookcase. It was nice, actually. Maybe you wouldn't mind it here.

You did not rush to dress in the sexy, frilly, underthings. You might not have been perfectly comfortable in your body, but that didn't matter. Not when you had knowledge of the intentions behind your wedding for years.

It was a bit of a challenge to get it on. You weren't sure how to get your arms through at first, and then you swapped them around when you couldn't figure out the neck bit.

What did it matter, it would be coming off anyway.

After dressing, you sat in the same spot on the bed for a while, staring at your hands. You wondered if he was expecting to eat first. Seeing as he had left you alone, however, you figured he would return eventually.

It was cold like this, you hopped he would hurry.

Just as you were beginning to consider moving to look at the bookcase, (panty clad and all) your spine snapped into place when you heard him calling for you. When had you given him your name? You weren't sure.

He was speaking loudly so you might hear through the wall, but not in a frustrated manner, "The kitchen staff is arranging something for us to eat-" He had slowly began to open the door, when his eyes landed on you. Not a moment passed before he dropped whatever he had in his hands. It loudly clattered to the floor and he slammed the door shut. The noise echoed in the room.

"What-??!" He stuttered, "What are you doing?!!"

Your mouth opened and closed repeatedly like a fish. What were you doing? What did he mean? And how exactly do you respond?

"I... uhh-" You looked down at yourself in the ridiculous lace.

You had not been trained in much regarding sex, having been told that the man you would marry would be well aware of how to educate you when it came to your actions. Suddenly self-conscious, you wondered if you had done something wrong.

Nanami calls your name from outside your new bedroom, then repeats it. Firm and unmoving. "What-are-you-doing?"

Your hands flounce around. Stuttering for a response, "I- I don't know!?" You finally force out, the tone coming off a little too questioning for an answer.

After a moment there is a dull *bonk* against the door. You hear no response for a long while. The room is so silent, you can hear your heart pounding. It was so painfully uncomfortable, you reached a hand to your chest to try and calm it. Finally, he clears his throat and calls out to you from behind the door again.

He speaks your name gently, as if calling to a child, "I'm going to come in now, okay?"

You sit upon the bed once more, back straight. "Alright." You nod to yourself.

Unsure of what to expect, you watch the door handle tilt to allow for your husbands entry, but your eyes narrow as he shifts into the room, avoiding your gaze - in fact - avoiding your presence completely.

His arm is shaking off his nicely tailored suit jacket. Still turned to look at the closet, he comes before you, jacket in hand, and reaches out for your shoulders. You almost want to shrink back from this odd behavior but remain still as he wraps you up in his clothing.

After a few awkward seconds, he turns to look at you. "What are you doing?" He repeats, low and calm.

You raise your brows, "What... are you doing?" You reach up to feel the jacket covering your collar and torso, instantly, he drops his hands from your shoulders.

He shakes his head, a hand tugging at his loose blond hair. "I don't... understand." He is no longer looking in your vicinity. His voice shakes and all the air leaves his lungs.

"I'm sorry." You wrap yourself tighter in his jacket, shifting to stare at him, "Was this not... expected?" His apprehension certainly came as a surprise to you.

Suddenly he's back, fully facing you, "Expected?" He raises his brows, "What is this? You're... what? Doing what is expected of you?". Despite the severity of the moment, it is now that you recognize how expressive his features are. His neck, up to his cheeks, up to even his ears are a warm pink. It wouldn't be improbable to assume his chest is a rosy shade right about now as well.

You decide to push the boundary, share your frustration. Why is he upset? If he does not want you, he should just say. It's not as if you desire him in that way. This has been an incredibly stressful and tense day, at least he knew who you were before all of this, you did not have that liberty. If anything, you should be upset with him!

"Is it not?" You speak up, "Forgive me, but I was under the impression that...this" You pull your arm out from under his jacket to motion between you two, "was how this worked."

He makes a face. Revolted.

"You are- we-" He cuts himself off, waving his hands before himself, then covers his face, "no." He gets out, "This is not how this works."

"Well." Now you're flushing, embarrassed. You straighten yourself, balling his suit jacket in your firsts. "What... would you like for me to do? I told you in the car that I learn quickly, if thats-"

"Stop." He spits out, voice suddenly higher than before, "Just...stop."

You swallow. What does he want from you? "Okay." You whisper.

He calls for you gently, and motions for you to stand. He turns away from the bathroom now and shifts in the other direction, looking at your wedding gown strewn across the bookcase ladder. He purses his lips. "Please.... dress yourself." He swallows, motions towards the wardrobes along the wall. "Something comfortable in there. I was... going to ask your preferences, for a meal-for dinner. Let me-"

He clears his throat, moving away now toward the bedroom door, he drops to the floor and picks up what must be his phone, having been dropped earlier, he rubs the screen on his pant leg. "What would you like?"

You stare at him, straight-faced. "Anything you like." You're not a picky eater.

He sighs, looking up at the ceiling, "No. What do you like to eat?

You shrug, "Anything. I don't mind." You shake your head at him and he just looks you up and down. The stupidly large jacket comes mid-thigh.

He takes a deep breath. Then exhales dramatically. Nods. And he's gone. This time, when closing the door, he makes an effort to do so gently.

--

You had found a soft cotton pajama set in one of the dresser drawers. Having long since removed your previous attire, you wonder what your husband is thinking of as he silently serves two plates of Chinese food.

You wonder what your father would say if he saw Mr. Nanami serving up dinner for his wife as you sat on the living room couch.

You're taken from your thoughts as Nanami places a large wooden tray on the couch, he places the food on it.

It seems you will very much be eating together.

"I hope you enjoy it. Let me know if you don't." He murmurs, seating himself near you in the dimly lit room.

In no world would you complain about the food your husband served you. Even if you disposed it, luckily, you liked Chinese cuisine. Before you can even get out a word of appreciation he is speaking again, "I think we should talk."

You sit up straight. "Alright."

He motions for you to eat, "Feel free. I think we ought to have an open discussion."

You grab your utensils but don't reach for anything until after he takes a bite. Awaiting his words.

"Well... I believe we ought to be on the same page about this. I had been under the impression that we were... but as I can see, that is not the case." He stares at you intently.

He is not speaking down to you, but rather, making space for an open conversation. You set down your chopsticks, and await further explanation.

"I suppose I should know what exactly the higher-ups asked of you."

You raise your brows, "Sorry?"

An apology has become a common synonym for many of your reactions.

"Earlier, you asked me for my name. And just then-" He flushes a little, motioning to the bedroom, "well- you mentioned expectations and I feel I ought to ask you what is is that has been requested of you."

Is this man daft? Is he playing with you?

Before you respond, you test the waters, "What did the higher-ups demand of you?"

The man sighs.

"I am terribly sorry," he calls your name again like its easy, a habit that makes your stomach flip, "It seems that people have not been honest with you, you deserve an explanation. I just expected you to be aware of this before our union."

He pauses for a moment, his eyes watch you and the chopsticks laying on the wooden tray.

Ah.

You reach to take a bite. It's good, and oddly puts the man before you at ease.

"Before this, I was intending to leave sorcery."

He states it as if it is nothing. Your eyes bug out and he pauses, allowing for you to ensure you heard correctly.

"The higher-ups have a large amount of sway in Tokyo, I'm not sure about Kyoto, but they were not fond of this plan."

I can't imagine why that would be. You thought as you recalled the moment you had first seen this Nanami Kento.

It had been an annual meeting between the Kyoto and Tokyo branches. You had heard him refer to sorcery as "a pain". Had he been considering retirement even then?

You simply nod, listening quietly. "It was their intention to find me...a wife." He huffs, "Maintaining a life in sorcery was highly important to them."

Oh, you see. Perhaps he wasn't so different from you after all.

The higher-ups have only had one expectation for you, even since showing promise in the world of sorcery, even after moving up the ranks at Kyoto Metropolitan Curse Technical College. Your job was plain and simple.

To have babies.

Sorcerer babies.

Had they been so afraid of losing one sorcerer to the regular world that he was cornered into loveless marriage? All to keep him from departure? Was that why Gakuganji had been so immediate with his instatement of your husband?

"I see..." You nod once more.

"I would like to know your experience as well. What was it that they asked of you?" He had both hands laid flat on the makeshift table between the pair of you.

You consider what to say. "I...have known-" you try again, "My duty has been laid out for some time now." You tilt your head, he's squinting at you.

"Please. Just tell me. They... forced you - to - to do that?" He points his head in the direction of your room once more.

Now you're confused. You want to speak in a way that doesn't insult his intelligence but he's making is difficult for you. "Did you not... marry me for children?"

He chokes.

Coughing to clear his throat, he wipes his mouth. "That is not- eugh-" he tries again, "They cannot ask that of you. I will not do anything that you are not explicitly requesting of me." He pauses effecting a moment of silence before, "Do you understand?"

But you don't. "Mr. Nanami, are you... not expected to produce children? Is that not why you were chosen to be in this situation?"

He responds quickly and with precision, "I did not marry you for what you could give me. No."

You can't hold in your confused laugh, "Then...why?"

"Was it not the easiest for the both of us?" He smirks at you, his shoulders have eased only slightly after hearing your laugh, "I was informed that your other options were not the most savory."

"You knew you would be marrying me?" You ask, ignoring his reference to your suitors and flummoxed by how easy it is to speak comfortably with a man you had been so recently adverse to.

"Yes. I... cannot believe you were not provided the same..." He pauses, "I was under the impression that this was a mutual decision..."

"Oh." It's all you can say.

Nanami takes in a deep breath from across the couch cushions. "I'm sorry." And you really believe that he means it. "I would not have agreed if I knew." He forms a flat line with his lips.

"I think you're right, though..." He looks at you, addled, so you continue, “This was the easiest choice. I think so too." You're unsure of how else to conclude.

Your wedding dinner had not been what you would have expected and the night, unlike anything you could have predicted.

Nanami Kento, no matter how you denied and tried to shuffle from the bedroom, had sworn himself to a guestroom after collecting the night clothes laid out for him on the bedside table.

He had gently grabbed your shoulders, maneuvering you towards the bed and away from the exit. Pleading with you to remain in the master bedroom. Claiming that he had intended to sleep in a separate bedroom since the beginning.

Though you pulled at his arms to try and swap your standing, telling him adamantly to take the bigger of the bed options, he simply drew close to you, shifted farther from the door and blocked your sights. He lead you softly to the bed, and when you attempted to side step him and make your way to the guestroom, he took one arm, catching you by the waist, and swiftly lifted you from the floor.

"Please. Do not ask me again. Sleep here, alright? All of your things are here. I will be very comfortable in the guestroom."

And before you could get out any complaint, he had you placed upon the duvet. His hands were off you in an instant, but he remained looking in your direction as he backed to the door you had been fighting over.

"Do sleep well." His long strides had brought him to the rooms entrance with no delay, you were still caught up with the fact that he had lifted you like a sack of potatoes, with one arm no less. "We will likely have to arrange the...trip tomorrow."

The honeymoon, that's right.

He said it in a way that sounded like, 'just to warn you' or 'you should know'. But all you could reply with was, "Right."

"Right." He echo's, turning to walk through the door, and looks to you once more. "Sleep well." And there's your name again, leaving his lips as though you are long time friends.

"You too."

But the door has been silently shut.

His touch lingers on your waist from where he had lifted you. Not in the way your fathers hand would linger after he drug you to and from meetings, not the way his fingers would remain painfully on your neck after he would steer you into conference rooms. But rather, in an almost ticklish way.

You shiver.

And run your hands over your new duvet.

When you had made up your childhood bed and left this morning, you had listened to your mothers cries, sure that last night would be the last time you would have the peace of your own bed. Your heart swelled with the knowledge that you had been wrong.

Your fingers traced the stitching on the comforter. Swung your legs from the mattress, and almost-almost grinned.

〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰

tag list @longlivegojo @kitkatlover015 @l0v3rgirl-owo @smailaway (if your name is here but you didn’t get tagged. I think it’s either bc your blog is new/blank/empty or you need to check your privacy settings)

[polyamorousmisanthrope]

FWIW, I think I'm a little older than Spider, but not by much.

I was reared to behave in very gendered ways and honestly even the feminism I was exposed to as a youngster didn't help with that.

I had a brainwave during teaching an EHR class this summer. I had a student that I couldn't TELL how they wanted to present. Body, name, clothing, haircut all could have gone either way. They were wearing a wedding ring, but it was as plain as I (cis woman) wear.

Did it take me aback? Eh... there were scripts I had I couldn't follow, so there was that.

What I thought when I met this person was, "Well, literally nothing I am teaching today requires me to know their gender/sex/desired presentation, so if they wanna volunteer, cool. Otherwise, they need to understand why documenting case grossing correctly is important, and I can do that without them volunteering a thing."

I guess what I am trying to say is that the American society I grew up in was more gendered than I ever really grokked until that moment.

Woman with a bit of a beard, carefully wearing briefs in the locker room? Eh, they've chosen the women's locker room, so I'll accept them as a woman until told otherwise. I just need remember to dry my hair because it's cold out today.

Don't KNOW?

Well, didn't need to know, yeah...

Okay but can anyone articulate the mindset that leads older people to feel like they NEED to know people's gender identity all the time? Like what's going on there

[aliyahwritings]

TCH!READER ON THE INTERNET.

MASTERLIST | Basketball Player!Rafe & Model!Female Reader

*This is during the seventh chapter + if you see mistakes then don't mind em, i'll fix it tomorrow.*

coupleofnews

liked by rafesquerie, sza and others

coupleofnews Rafe Cameron Engaged to Model Y/N Y/L/N: A Surprise Announcement

view all comments ...

username01 YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME???

username02 I DONT KNOW IF I SHOULD CHEER CRY BC MY MAN IS OFFICIALLY TAKEN

username03 IM CONVULSING ON THE FLOOR AS WE FUCKING SPEAK

username04 @/username03 SAME BFF SAME

sza Congratulations to the cutest 🩷🎉 I wish you two the best. It's so good to see such a powerful, beautiful, talented and sweet WOC cuff a white man. Rooting for y'all 🧸🫢

username05 @/sza MOM GET OUT OF IG AND RELEASE THAT ALBUM

username06 anybody think it's weird 🤯

username07 @/username06 No your right. It's too soon. I'm sure she forced him

coupleofnews @/username07 You're** if you wanna drag someone at least do it right

username08 it's not even be a month since they've been tgt and they alr getting married?? bitch me too

username09 i know damn well they've been tgt for a while

username10 @/username09 exactly 👍 cause ain't no way YN would get married so easily

username11 does YN and Rafe know this?

coupleofnews @/username11 Your ass is about to know something else

username12 @/coupleofnews PLEASE 😭 COP don't play abt her infos

yn_updates coupleofnews js know that if ure lying ... 🪓

coupleofnews @/yn_updates NO HO IM SO SERIOUS ABOUT THIS!!!!

username13 @/coupleofnews how did you even get that info

coupleofnews @/username13 Someone in YN's entourage said it to me

username14 @/coupleofnews W H A T

ynmodelz

liked by rafecameron, jacobelordi and others

ynmodelz Gagged?

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username01 MAMA U SO FCKING FINE

username02 face so crazy i might switch lanes

username03 how are you pretty funny kind and perfect

username04 aren't you at a event rn

ynmodelz @/username04 ... okay stalker ☝️

username05 the way she's bagging every pretty white men on this earth

username06 @/username05 rafe, elordi, mescal, chalamet and that one sexy ex

aishapatel girl kissing right now in my bed

username07 @/aishapatel AISHA YN REVIVAL OMG LIFE IS SO GOOD

ynmodelz @/aishapatel breakup with your husband first ☹️

jjmaybank @/ynmodelz every time i catch on instagram you're gay-ing

username04 IM BACK AND YOURE GETTING MARRIED?????

username08 I NEVER DOUBTED U YN!!! I KNEW U COULD CUFF RAFE UP

username09 u must be a magician of some kind to cuff RAFE CAMERON

arianagrande congrats to you lovie ☁️💞✨

sza So happy for you! Wishing you the best

kiaracarrera face card so insane i want you right now

bellahadid Ohmygod YN ❤️ I miss you and congrats on the engagement ❤️

username10 @/bellahadid missing the days where yn and bella would vlog their day before a runway 😭

username11 she must have forced him. why did he pick a brown girl

username12 @/username11 He wanted to be woke for sure

username13 @/username11 how could he pick her when chiara is right in front of him

aishapatel @/username13 so pathetic i started laughing at yall

tyla Invite me to the wedding please sister 🤍

username14 every time i see her she's getting skinnier and smaller

username15 GIRL UR NOT GONNA BELIEVE WHAT I HEARD

username15 SOMEONE SNITCHED ON U

yn_updates

liked by rihanna, topper and others

yn_updates THEY ARE GETTING MARRIED OMG IM LITERALLY FREAKING OUT OMG OMG OMG

view all comments ...

username01 NOBODY LOVES THEM LIKE I DO

username02 the first pic represents them so well

username03 @/username02 i love how she's always rolling her eyes at him

username02 @/username03 and he eats that shit up for breakfast

username04 the way he kept his hands on her ALL NIGHT is pretty insane

username05 i love when pretty people are in relationships

username06 Im so obsessed with them

username07 HE MET AISHA!!! OH ITS SO SERIOUS YALL! THEYRE HAVING BABIES

username08 @/username07 what do u mean?

username09 @/username08 Aisha used to meet YN's bfs all the time until she stopped.... it's been years and now she's meeting him.

username10 @/username08 she also said on live that she wasn't going to meet and be friendly w any of them if she didn't see a future between yn and the person

username11 he's a bad boyfriend. he's not checking on her

username02 @/username11 huh?

username11 @/username02 she's clearly suffering and he's not doing anything

topper YN Cameron... I can't believe it 😳

username12 NOW WHO SNITCHED

username13 @/username12 what if i said chiara?

username14 @/username13 but how would she even know

username07 @/username14 she's white and pretty... that tells you everything

username15 and i just know she makes him giggle and kick his feet

username16 and I just know YN sends him 1000 memes

username09 and I just know they make playlist and pinterest boards about themselves (YN's idea)

username17 and i js know that when they argue they use Aisha to communicate "Rafe asking if you're okay"

username18 oh and i know she stops him from doing smth stupid every time with a "babe, no" and then he pouts 🥺🥺

[lolitastories]

🪷WEDDING🪷

“Mija, you can go on ahead to the club” I raise my head to watch my parents dressed up for something other than the country club. “We will meet you for dinner” My mother nods to my fathers words, sending a smile over to me.

“Remember to talk with Francine about the party” They didn’t wait for an answer, already halfway out the door. Ever since I could remember we barely spent time as a family. It was rare to get them at dinner so I knew that they weren’t going to be back for dinner. They remembered birthdays and holidays but other than that, nothing. They were there for some school events but I stopped letting them know about the few last ones my senior year because I felt like I was begging for attention.

“¡Bye Hon!” My dad screamed as the car backed up in the driveway. I closed the door and turned to get my purse.

“You need me to tell Jerry to get the other car ready?” I look over, shaking my head.

“No, thank you Ruby. I will drive myself today” She gives a gentle nod before walking away. As I get into the car I think of not even going but then I turn it one and I think I could skip the country club for today and maybe go to the beach? Then Francine comes to mind and I lose all hope of having a nice day by the waves. Once Francine sees me at the club she will make sure I stay there and I have to see her because she is part of a wedding I am helping plan. Francine is an old friend of my parents, like a second mother and since she has no kids she bestowed that onto me. I make my way to the club and before getting out of the car I take a deep breath and walk in.

“Miss, so glad to see you, how are your parents?” I jumped, hearing the enthusiastic voice from the club's host.

“They are doing great”

“That's amazing to hear, well enjoy your evening” He smiles quickly before running off to his next victims that were just walking in.

“Alone again?” I closed my eyes trying to calm my beating heart down again. People need to stop doing that.

“I feel like I should be reciting Shakespeare right now?” My head moved up seeing Rafe lean over the balcony. Light salmon pink shirt with a fresh buzz cut and the never missing gold ring. “O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?” I lift my hand mocking chivalry. Rafe chuckles, shaking his head.

“So that makes me Juliet?” I shrug my shoulders

“Fuck that, there is no shame in a woman senerating a man” He stand up straight and with a smile, he looks down.

“Well continue my lady,”

“Deny thy father and refuse thy name;” Why was I giving it my all? I laugh inside at my stupidity right now. “Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I’ll no longer be a Capulet.”

“You always had a way with words” He smiled leaning back to his original pose.

“Yes,” Our heads turn to see Francine walking over to me with an unamused look. “Words she decides to keep hidden,” I smile respectfully, giving her a hug. “Hello Rafe,” I held an amused grin on my face. She was literally throwing daggers at him. We knew she didn’t like him, can you blame her? Rafe has a reputation.

“Francine-” She didn’t wait for him to finish before grabbing my arm and pulling me away from the club’s entrance and onto the garden.

“I thought you two were no longer friends”

“We are not,” I said rapidly, I lied quickly on my feet.

“I hope not, he's not a good boy for you my love,” Another smile, what I wanted to say was, “I know what i'm doing. I am too smart to fall for Rafe Cameron but if I did, I will take the blame” I only nod at her said advice. “Now, how about we talk about the wedding?” For a good hour I was following her along the country club and making notes on what exactly she wanted for the wedding. More flowers, clear chairs,mirrored floor, a release of butterflies, and no color other than sky blue and white of course.

“What were you thinking about the ceremony?” She lets out a quick squeal before rushing towards the cliff which was only a small hill with some height overlooking the beach. I walked quickly to see what she was pointing at with such a huge smile.

“We agreed on the beach,” I hear a contempt sigh leave her lips. Her shoulders fall and her eyes soften at the vision of the bride getting married there. “Can’t you see yourself there too?” Too focused on her happiness and excitement, her question caught me off guard. I look down again but quickly shake my head. “You have planned such beautiful weddings, where do you see yours?”

“I can’t set my mind on one,” I chuckled nervously. It wasn’t the whole truth but it wasn’t a lie. Of course I know what I have wanted for my future wedding since I was 6, but as a wedding planner there was one thing I hated the most about planning and it was the grooms. All they did was walk behind the bride, nodding and smiling. Agreeing on everything. I want to think it's to make them happy because a wedding was made out to be more for the bride but hearing the groom speak they let out subtle comments about no caring. I want my future husband to care. I want him to be present in what is the beginning of our future. I want him to be the bridezilla along with me.

“Well don’t settle for only this view” She pointed out. “You can have a destination wedding like somewhere in Italy.” Her eyes grow bigger, “Or the south of France!” She jumps giggling at her ideas. “I am going to go look at venues now, you know how easily they can book up!” There was really no use in saying it was too early to think about my wedding because nothing can change that woman's mind when she gets this excited about something.

“I need a drink-” I closed up my book and was ready to leave when I heard a voice from the shore.

“I got an extra beer” My gaze meets Rafe holding a beer up. “Is it too trashy for you my lady?” My eyes stay glued to him and a small smile appears on my face. “I don’t know any Shakespeare if that's what you want to hear” His arm slowly falls to his side. I look over to the country club and catch a glimpse through the window only to catch Francine rushing out of her office.

“Not trashy Cameron” I smile as I take a seat on the hill. “But I don’t drink beer,” I carefully push myself off and balance myself to walk down the steep hill until I am standing in front of Rafe.

“Worth a shot” He shrugs, putting the beer in his pocket. “I know you don’t drink at all.” I shake my head noticing he only had one beer in sight.

“Honey?!” Our heads turn toward the top of the hill to find no one there but the scream of my name becoming louder and louder. Francine can wait another day

“How about you offer me an escape?” With a glimmer in his eyes he grabs my hand and rush's us down the shore. I take a glimpse unsure of the object but as we move closer I start to laugh. “You bring this everywhere just in case?” My breath is shaky, I am not used to running. I look back seeing the figure of Francine screaming out to me but I choose to turn back to Rafe.

“Who knows when a lady needs my saving,” He puts out his hand for me to take and I oblige. He helps me up to a small row boat and I take a seat on the furthest end.

“Need help?” Rafe shakes his head pushing us offshore and he rushes to get in. “Daddy wouldn’t let you use his yacht?” I smile. I look over to the horizon, as the sun meets, perfectly creating an orange hue.

“No,” He groans, making me chuckle at his annoyance. “Don’t want to risk leaving it unsupervised since those pogue pulled their little stunt on Toppers”

“You always ruin it with your talk about pogues,” I roll my eyes looking back at him again. His arms stop rowing at his eyebrows furrowed.

“It 's true!. Little dirty pogues who don’t come close to us should be taught a lesson soon and for good” I never associated myself with what he would call somebody a pogue but that's because I don’t see them as such. My life has consisted of following my parents and at school and work I am only surrounded by people who are considered good. I never leave my bubble. But money or no money, people are people. As long as you are a good person, you are rich in my book.

“You know,” I look straight into his eyes. “You always mentioned how little Francine makes you feel, do you realize that's how you try to make them feel?”. His small smile falls into a straight line. “Would you want me to treat you less just because of some stupid status?”

“It's not the same, those pogues!-”

“Are human Rafe,” I let out a sigh knowing this conversation was just like the past. “Human beings who weren’t blessed with opportunities we have. They work day and night. It doesn’t matter what their bank account says if they have a good heart.” I move closer to him. “I know you have a good heart too Rafe.” I move my hand under his chin to pull him closer. “That's why I choose to disobey my parents and Francine once in awhile,”

“We tried this once already” He whispers. A slight smile appears on my face remembering how I like and feel having him this close.

“I still have hope,” His forehead rests on mine and a slow breath leaves him. “It was wrong of me to try to change you,” my thumbs caressing his skin.

“I was acting too proud and stubborn. Everybody saw me as such so it angered me.” He opens his eyes, putting a bit of space between us. “I was willing to try but I didn’t want to disappoint you”

“It wasn’t a choice for you to decide what is right for me. I told you I didn’t care about what anybody said and if it went down in flames, I could handle that.”

“But you don’t deserve-” his words paused as I came closer. My lips on his but only for a longing quick kiss to shut him up.

“You put yourself down when I see you more than worthy. Worth the eyes of people judging. Worth the scolding of my parents and definitely worth the hours of talk Francine is sure to give me” I hear his chuckle along with mine. “Do you think we should try this again?” He nodded eagerly, grabbing my neck and pulling me closer but I was quicker and set my hand between us first. “Rules”

“Fine” He groans, pulling apart. He shakes his head before turning his body towards me. “Date night twice a week,” My head falls back in annoyance. When we first tried having a relationship it was hard to adjust. I wasn’t allowed to have a boyfriend and Rafe knew this and decided to stick around. Of course, not being my boyfriend, I wasn't allowed to go out past 8. Not to any party or bonfire by the beach. I was also busy with school and starting my job as a planner to make time for him. That was bad on my part and we had a lot of fights because of it. I also didn’t like going out much, more of a homebody.

“Fine, but one at home date” He whispers okay. “No Pogue talk unless necessary” We need to talk about the important things first.

“Got it.” He smiled at that?. “When Francine is present you give me my place,” I roll my eyes.

“She is a strong woman but I promise.” I would defend him when need be and when it's reasonable. “but if I have to throw myself against her you have to promise not to back down when not only Francine stands against you” my parents can be a handful too. I watch as he stands up placing his hand on his chest. I laughed mostly because the boat was rocking unsteadily. “Rafe!” I hold on looking up at him again.

“It isn’t what we say or think that defines us, but what we do,” I stood up carefully and was shocked at his words.

“You don’t know Shakespeare but you do Jane Austen?”

“You left a copy of her book behind and I got bored,” I rolled my eyes knowing that wasn’t true. “But back to my confession,” I look back as we try our hardest to stay steady. “I will prove to them that I am willing to be someone they see worthy of you.” I walk closer, placing my arms around his neck.

“The only opinion you need is mine, and I think you are worthy” I whisper as he lowers his head to meet mine.

“I have seen enough!” I turn around shocked but only to see a blurry Francine at shore screaming towards me. “Get back here young lady!” Those were the only clear words heard before Rafe and I went flying into the water. My body resurfaced laughing at the action. I look around finding Rafe swimming towards me.

“Am not ready to face the world yet” I smile hopeful towards him.

“And am not ready to face Francine yet so how about we row away?” I nod turning towards the boat. “You don’t have a curfew?” I groan hearing his laugh from behind me. He pushes me up and I slide into the boat.

“Never got to be a rebel teen, I think I have some headaches to make up for,” I turn to help him climb in.

“Then let's go.” he smiles, taking his place and rowing away. “This is not a good look on my part.” He laughs looking back at Francine. “Will definitely be hearing about this,”

“Such a bad influence,” I grin looking at him. “Guess what?” His eyes sparkled hearing my giddy tone.

“I saved your beer” My grin grows bigger as he laughs. I throw him the can and with ease he catches it.

“That's my girl” his girl.

[skyeconch]

[Game night]

Y/N : Jeff!

Y/N : get off tinder! We’re playing a game!

J : for the last time— it’s █████! Not Jeff or whatever names starts with j!

Y/N : I literally have no idea what you’re talking about

J : you— anyways I’ve got no matches on this godforsaken app. These females don’t want me

J : and I’m a decent nice guy, if I’m doing this bad, imagine how bad Curly’s doing 🙄

Curly, smacks lips : okay 😐

Y/N : what do you even have to offer a woman? A five inch d!ck?

Daisuke : :O

J : 😑

J : you know I’m just really grateful that you rounded up instead of down. Most people don’t do that for me, that was nic—

Y/N : yeah, yeah no problem

Curly : nothing wrong with five

J : Ok. No. But seriously— I mean— I have plenty to offer.

J : because number one— I have a car.

Y/N : It’s Curly’s car 😑

Curly : MY car 😐

J : number two— I can drive. And I mean what more do you need to do these days?

Y/N : I mean— I don’t know. Maybe change your name?? And maybe stay 20 feet away from people?? Or just don’t engage with people?? Move to places with 0 population??

Swansea, butts in : yeah, yeah you’re a real catch. I call *drops some chips*

Daisuke : you can’t call :((

Swansea : what the fuck are we even playing?

Anya : we’re playing Go Fish. But instead of saying “Go Fish” we say, “Go Dale” :)

Y/N : God bless his soul

Curly : y’all have any jacks?

Daisuke : you asked that last turn— GO DALE

Curly : damn it

Y/N : don’t worry, Jennifer—

J : it’s █████ 😐

Y/N : —JDP445 ☺️

J : 😶

Y/N : like I said, don’t worry, you’re not missing out on much

Y/N : y’know I was married once!

Curly : really???

Daisuke : tell us your love story!

Anya, rememberers Y/N’s last psychological evaluation : oh no. Please don’t ask them that right no—

J : SHUT UP!

Curly : █████! Don’t yell! Uhh go ahead, y/n

Y/N : 1956 😌 Las Vegas 😌

Curly, sees Daisuke’s open cards : You DO have a jack!

Daisuke : oopsies

Y/N : —she was a dancer and I had just won a 5 thousand dollars hand of blackjack!

Y/N : she insisted we wed by sunrise ☺️

Y/N : she tried to pickpocket me the whole time ☺️

Curly : I guess that is beautiful?? In a way??

Y/N : her mobster boyfriend found us in the bridal suite of the Fremont Hotel

Y/N : and splattered her ALL over the wall ☺️

Anya : you just had to ask, huh 😑

Y/N : I was just happy I didn’t have to share my 5 thousand dollars 😌

[canichangemyblogname]

Look, THIS is why I’m not upset with Tommy breaking things off with Buck, just the rhetoric they (the show) wrote for WHY they broke up and the general lack of resolution we’re likely to get. The break up itself is like… yeah, okay. It’s drama on a drama. People CAN see Tommy’s perspective: Buck DOES still have things to learn and IS still impulsive. There ARE a lot of things Buck does not know.

It’s the dialogue they wrote for Tommy and the likely lack of follow through that has me like 😑. Let me explain—

Tommy could have followed up Buck’s question about moving in with, “I’m not so sure moving in would work out; I think it’s too soon.” Buck blinks as he hesitates. “Uh— w-we-well, why not?” “Look— you’re an incredible guy. You’re funny and hot and kind… but you’re impulsive, and I feel like you may still have some things to learn.” “I—I’m not sure I know what you mean?” “We’re in two very different places in our lives. I feel the way you see me is incompatible with the partnership I want in a long-term relationship.” Tommy takes a sharp breath in. He pauses. “I—,”Tommy falters, “I’m not so sure we will work out.” “Wait— are-are you breaking up with me?” And then we get the similarly devastating, “Yeah… I guess so. Believe me, I didn’t see this coming, either.” A beat, and then, “See you around, Buck.”

And the thing is? This feels more resolved without fully closing the door. The reasoning behind why they’re breaking up is because Tommy feels they’re in two different places in life. He feels like moving in is too soon and that Buck is being impulsive. He feels like Buck is treating him more like a gay yoda than a partner, and so moving in will put their relationship on an unsustainable course that positions Tommy less as a partner and more as a forever teacher.

Additionally, characterizing the breakup as the result of being in different places in life (and emotionally) could continue a narrative trend of Tommy successfully working out emotions in a way Buck has not yet learned. Buck was so jealous and in need of Tommy’s attention that he maimed his best friend. However, when Tommy was jealous of the 118, that did not manifest in any real-world consequences because Tommy processed that jealousy in a healthy, normal way. Buck has daddy issues, and this directly impacts his emotional relationship with his father and Bobby, and his professional issues with Gerrard. However, Tommy has already come to terms with the nature of his relationship with his dad and, it could be argued, he has processed his daddy issues or dealt with them in a more productive way. At the same time, should the author want to do something with these character threads later on, the foundation has already been laid to explore Tommy’s jealousy and possible daddy issues as sources of conflict later. (Later exploring this also wouldn’t do the breakup scene any injustice, as the main reason for the breakup is how Buck views Tommy and the growth—re: impulsiveness— that Buck still needs to undergo.)

This hypothetical also avoids the whole, “Why would someone date someone else for six months when they just assume that person’s going to leave them and break their heart at any moment?” This hypothetical additionally avoids these characters breaking up explicitly because they have the same wants and desires for the relationship, like what we got in canon. (In canon, Tommy literally went, “You’re good looking and funny and kind and incredible and I really want to be with you, and you want to be with me, too, and that’s why we actually can’t be together.” 🙄) It also avoids re-hashing conflicts the characters have already addressed, like Tommy thinking Buck isn’t yet ready for or comfortable with his queerness, because this hypothetical would focus on Buck’s history of impulsivity or grand declarations when things get tough or weird. It also avoids the fact that Tommy did agree to try again, knowing that Buck didn’t have a label yet and then attended a wedding as Buck’s date, so why does he suddenly have an issue with Buck’s sexuality 6 months in? And, this hypothetical also still leaves the door open in the event the author wants to revisit this character dynamic, but currently cannot develop it due to cast contracts. Because Buck can wise up. He can admit that he had approached some aspects of the relationship a little impulsively; that he was prone to hitting Tommy with these grand declarations. Buck can change the way he views Tommy. Buck can change the way he sees relationships as something meaningful designed to help his own growth (“transformative” and all that). And all of this can happen with Tommy off screen. They theoretically then COULD meet again when they’re in similar places in their lives (and emotionally), or Buck could apply his newfound growth to his next relationship or final relationship.

Because Buck does still have growing to do and things to figure out, it’s just that none of those things are about whether or not he likes men, as Tommy’s canon monologue implies with the whole, “You’re still figuring yourself out… I’m not your last; I’m your first.”

But that’s ultimately what we got. We got that BS about firsts and lasts where Tommy downplayed what Buck feels for him and why, and outright assumed Buck’s feelings now and in the future. He spent that entire scene giving Buck the ol’ biphobic, “you still gotta figure yourself out” and “you’ll just leave me for someone else” lines. He then concludes his break up dialogue by telling Buck that he’s afraid Buck will break his heart and that he can’t handle that, implying that he’s breaking it off due to anxieties around getting hurt emotionally. But the thing is? Tommy’s insecurities aren’t resolvable with Tommy off screen because Tommy needs to be on screen to show that growth. So, if contracting is or becomes an issue for someone who is NOT A MAIN, then there will be no resolution. Don’t hint at a character having major insecurities as a source of conflict—on par with that of a main— if the show cannot dedicate the appropriate screen time to that character to resolve that conflict.

Because right now? This FEELS like the set up for the third act’s preclimax. Tension between the characters is at its highest. Now Buck—the hero—must look inward and decide whether to prevail. He must face his deepest fears and greatest weaknesses. He must come out on the other side knowing that he is not listless; he knows what he wants for his future. This would take Buck full circle from who he was in his “Begins” episode where he didn’t know what he wanted or who he wanted to be, and hopped from place to place on this journey. Buck will realize he has hopped from relationship to relationship because he hadn’t defined himself well enough, but NOW he knows who he is. And once he realizes that, we reach the climax: the confrontation. Buck confronts Tommy about Tommy breaking his heart. This immediately segues into the resolution where Tommy acknowledges this hurt and admits the break was due to his own insecurities. And then, much like in season 3 with Abby, the show could keep them broken up to continue their Tommy-Abby parallel. (IMHO— if a resolution is the goal, keeping them broken up would be a more likely outcome when considering contracts. If the two got back together, that would require the show to dedicate a good chunk of screen time to addressing Tommy’s insecurities, something they may not be able to follow through with due to availability.) And then we actually have an on screen portrayal of HOW Tommy was transformative for Buck as opposed to just being told he was.

However, this resolution still requires Tommy to return, and exit interviews seem to suggest the actor who plays Tom is not returning. Meaning, this may remain unresolved. We could have had something that seemed resolved with the potential to revisit it, but instead we have something that would require the show to feature heavily conflict revolving around the insecurities of a character who is not a main, played by an actor who is juggling multiple projects.

Why not make the conflict something that can be resolved with Tommy off screen? Why not provide a little resolution if you cannot guarantee more Tommy? Why hint at fundamental changes to Buck’s character journey and the outcomes of his relationships if this one ends like all the others? Why suggest the show is going to fundamentally alter the way it writes love interests, something that would necessitate a change to how the show approaches any and all secondary characters? Why build up Tommy as a source of character conflict and major transformation for Buck if they cannot dedicate the appropriate screen time to establish that? (Because, remember, Buck TOLD the audience that Tommy was transformative for him, but we’ve yet to see how he’s been transformative like we have with any of Buck’s other previous love interests.) Why build up his insecurities if the show cannot address them?

I actually think they should have stopped going to Miceli’s. I think that place is cursed. Weird vibes. Every time they went, it was awkward.

[delta-lethonomia]

ok depresso week is over, back to deliberate hyperfixation on bg3:

It is absolutely wild to me that people take Astarion to the foursome with the drow twins (romanced, spawn, post-cazador) and are shocked, shocked I tell you, that he has a bad time. But it leads me to think that there's an interesting conversation to be had here about morality applied to video games. I'm going to be using what's a bit of a strawman tbh, what I would consider an archetypical, "good person" gamer for this niche example.

(3k essay under the cut about irl morals vs video game behavior, my take on why Astarion agrees to the orgy, beating the dead horse of Astarion discourse now that the fandom has cooled off enough I might not get flogged for it, and all my election stress being translated into an increasingly bitchy narrative voice that I hope is at least mildly amusing.)

"Good Person Gamer" romances Astarion. They're probably female, which I am mentioning exclusively so I can turn that into "Good Girl Gamer" 😏, or G3. G3 picks nice dialogue options. G3 tries to support their companions, and finds diplomatic and moral solutions to problems. G3 saved the tieflings. G3 still romances Astarion because he's hot, and vulnerable, and it's not like he forces you to be evil - he just complains a bit when you save kittens stuck in trees, but you get that approval back anyway just by being nice to him. Talk him out of Ascension and you've proven to yourself he's got a good soul under all that attitude anyway. He'd healed! You banged on his grave! It's all good now!

The brothel is fun. The drow twins are hot. It's always fun when games lets you do spicy things like have threesomes and orgies! We're sex-positive! Look, the drow twins said they love their job! It's totally fine! G3, as most people, probably does not do these things in real life, but that's the fun in video games: you get to be someone you're not.

And then Astarion noticeably dissociates. He throws himself in the center and lavishes everyone with attention; he's a professional, you know. Even an unromanced Tav/Durge notices something's off, and Astarion replies something along the lines of "you don't have the right to look at me like that," presumably with worry, distress, or sympathy.

G3 is upset. They did everything right - they didn't want to hurt him, and Astarion himself said he wanted this. Why couldn't they stop midway through and remind him that he doesn't have to hurt himself? Why couldn't they talk about it afterwards, and clear the air? LARIAN WHY DO YOU HURT ME

Now, to all the G3's out there: if you were dating a person with extensive sexual trauma, having been raped literally thousands of times, would you suggest having a threesome/orgy? With prostitutes, if that's better or worse? Putting them on the spot before your mutual friends? Would you wait a few years to mention the idea, or would you do so only weeks/months into a relationship? Your first "I love you" might have only been yesterday.

And most people, I think, would say "No." Writing that scenario outside of the lens of a video game makes it sound insane - of course you wouldn't! I'm not saying that they should never have group sex or that it can't be done, but I think most people instinctively get how that would be a shitty thing to do in that context, especially without discussing it in depth beforehand and making sure you're both on the same page.

And this is the meat of the issue. Most gamers play good-aligned characters: there's a strong culture of wanting to play the hero and saving the day. But tied into that cultural monomyth, in society itself, is the idea that sex is a reward at the end. You get sex at the end of the romance arc. The date where you have sex is one of many milestones, and you're not really dating if you haven't done it yet. Some people don't have sex until their wedding night. Threesome scenes especially are a video game classic: old-school God of War, for instance, had a hidden room in every game with scantily-clad women just waiting for you to button-mash away, a little treat for the player's keen puzzle-solving abilities.

Not all romances in BG3 have sex or end with sex, (some even start with sex), but that is because BG3's character writing tries to ground itself in reality despite being a medium people utilize for fantasy. Role-playing a "good" character is mostly easy: you typically know which dialogue choice is the ethical choice, can chide Astarion for being racist, can save the numerous children with moral ease - and BG3 rewards this: a good playthrough is more fleshed out, because you haven't killed off half the cast. You get better gear. You have more allies, better allies. You know what to do.

Or, well, mostly. BG3 is kind of special imo because even the good choices have a lot of nuance, where two people can make different choices but still feel like they both picked the most ethical one. Take Shadowheart's parents, for example: they beg for her to let them go so they can die and save their daughter. Saving them leaves Shadowheart in Shar's clutches - she will experience pain for the rest of her life, but regains her parents, and with luck, Selûne will claim her soul when she dies. Kill them, and Shadowheart is free - truly free, to live her life on her own terms, free from Shar and Selûne both. Both can be the ethical choice, depending on your morals.

"But if Astarion didn't want to have the threesome, the game should have let me stop midway through/made it clearer that this would happen. He said no before Cazador - why couldn't he say no again? Why would Larian put me in this position and make me feel bad when I thought everything was alright? I wanted to be good and have fun, not feel like I pressured my boyfriend." - Strawman G3.

Because BG3 treats it's characters like people. Multiple companions make choices outside of what the player character decides for them - Shadowheart's decision to save or kill her parents, kill or save the Nightsong, or Gale, to go for the crown or not depend on what events they are there to witness personally, or can be informed by conversations you have in camp about unrelated issues. You can fully let them make their own decisions and be surprised each time as they develop into different people with each successive playthrough. A lot of people are surprised when Gale goes for the Crown of Karsus without their input. In my last multiplayer playthrough, we could not prevent Shadowheart from wanting to kill the Nightsong, and so we were forced to kill her.

Astarion is not like that. The way he talks about Ascension changes depending on your relationship. If you're merely friends, he acknowledges it's probably a bad idea, even, in direct contrast to the somewhat obsessive and frightening way he pursues it in a romantic relationship. But Astarion can't decide what to do at the end: he has no hidden point system, no hidden flags - he will always pursue Ascension even if he knows it's a bad idea, because Astarion does not trust himself, has no experience trusting himself, and needs help. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, he needs support to make his own decisions, because in that moment, he cannot be objective.

(If Astarion is ever objective is another story....)

So much of Astarion's reactions and opinions are instinctive and unthinking. "Don't let the pixie out of the lantern, are you an idiot?" -> "A pixie! And honest-to-goodness pixie! *giggles*"

"We don't need a urchin hanging around." -> Astarion approves if you help Yenna

etc. etc. etc. There's so many times he says one thing, the cruel thing, the "fuck everyone else, I've got mine"-thing, and then approves when you do the good thing. Astarion does not live in line with his values (besides pursuing a growing need for freedom) and he frankly does not really know what his values even are.

Astarion doesn't react with glee to finding all the people he seduced - who inadvertently raped him, though they didn't know, some lowlifes and scoundrels and people having a bad day and even some sweet, naive virgins like Sebastian, who took that smoking hot Elf on his word and followed him home, probably in disbelief someone so gorgeous would pay them any attention at all - tortured and locked in a dungeon underground. He's crushed by guilt. He's in pain. Astarion delights in you causing others pain (the torture scene) because it aligns with his worldview, the joy of seeing someone else suffer for once. But he's not a cold-hearted murderer. (And yes, I am differentiating between "adventurer kills a bandit" murder and "deliberately killing someone you know for reasons/no reason" murder.) He doesn't hurt anyone in camp - Shadowheart and Lae'zel are far more dangerous than him. You never have to stop him from drinking anyone else to death. Even if you never feed him again, never use his bite attack, he never bites anyone in camp. Despite being a vampire, Astarion is, effectively, harmless. (Bite night was about checking whether or not Cazador's old command's still worked. It's his first real attempt at freedom, proving to himself that he's free from compulsion. Hence why the roll to get him to stop is a 5, giving you a 75% likelihood of succeeding. He doesn't actually want to kill you. And you get two chances!!!)

Astarion doesn't enjoy death for the sake of death. He's terrified if you side with the goblins and kill the tieflings despite goading you into doing it. I don't doubt that he could hurt others (god knows he's got enough feelings to work out that way), but there's a significant difference between a little knife play and condemning thousands of people to be tortured in the Hells for all eternity. Sacrificing his siblings is different, because they, like him, are guilty, and deserve their deaths. He agrees to sacrifice his fellow spawn as an act of self hatred, of self harm. But all those other people stupid enough to want to sleep with him? Given a day to think about it, I think Astarion would agree that that's not right - and that's why he thanks you for preventing his Ascension. That much murder isn't him. He can be thoughtless, cruel, and unkind, but Astarion isn't a psychopath.

Take him to the brothel, and slipping back into that role, the seductive rake, it as easy as breathing. I don't think Astarion has ever thought about if he's the type of person to enjoy group sex, or even if he wants it. I don't doubt that Astarion enjoys sex, that he wants to have sex (he is, after all that, still shockingly horny), but he's just discovered the idea of having sex with someone he loves. He's riding that high. Of course he says yes: not only is he a different man now (he's free!), it's something he's done a thousand times already - maybe it'll be different this time, maybe something has changed - or maybe, an orgy was on offer, so of course Astarion is there. It's his purpose. He's been doing it for 200 years. Where else would he be?

What I'm saying is that Astarion didn't think about what sleeping with the drow twins meant for your relationship, or how he would feel about it at all. He just went for it. He had a bad time. You then don't discuss it because that would mean admitting that he finally made a choice by himself and it backfired. He didn't think, or maybe he did, and it turns out he just doesn't know himself. Why discuss it? A relationship with G3 apparently means group sex. They probably asked twice. They backtracked all the way to Wyrm's Crossing post-Cazador. Will they ask again? How many times can he say no?

In reality, in the real world, the act of asking can be the problem in and of itself. If your significant other/spouse/lover asks you to do something you don't want to do, be it a threesome, anal, opening the relationship etc, these actions have consequences. The act of asking doesn't happen in a vacuum like it does in video games: there is a cost associated with it, a gamble, and while it may pay off, it may not. Some people get worn down and agree to things they don't want to do. Sometimes you break up because the act of asking is so inherently disrespectful you can't reconcile your differing wants and needs. If you're dating someone who has experienced the gut-wrenching pain of being cheated on, you don't ask 2 months into a new relationship if you can fuck other people. This should not come as a surprise to you, to G3, to anyone. It's common sense.

BG3 giving you the opportunity for a foursome with Astarion not only to give the player their hot'n'spicy sex scene (then playfully bops you on the nose by making it a fade-to-black, you naughty little perverts, you), but also to continue its theme of treating the player like a mature adult, who is dealing with other mature adults, and who can and should live with the consequences of their own actions. Subsequent patches have watered this down, I admit, but I do believe that that was the ethos guiding their work from the beginning. BG3 wants you to interact with the characters like people. If you roll over and tell them what they want to hear, you will Ascend Astarion, and he'll enslave you in turn. If you agree with Gale on everything, he will kill himself and you - or, he'll become a god, becoming the exact sort of god he used to rail against. Agree with Karlach, and she will rather die than go back to the Hells. You get my point.

"But Larian could have let me check in on Astarion midway through. Maybe it was a mistake to ask, but they should have let me check on him and stop it all if he wanted. I was trying to trust him to make his own decisions." - Strawman G3

Ok. We add a dialogue option. "Astarion, love, are you alright? We can stop at any time if you want."

Astarion disapproves (-5)

He's not backing out. Thank you for asking, darling, but fuck off. (I don't think he'd actually say fuck off but the implicit message would be there. I can't see Astarion stopping midway through, nor appreciating you doubting him. Nothing changes.)

"But I still feel bad." - Strawman G3

And I completely understand that. It's a video game. Don't worry! Of course you should get your sex scene - it's a reward! You got their approval high enough! You have enough charisma points! In DA:O, you can also have an orgy, unlocked by giving your companions enough gifts! It's a game! You have enough points, you get the thing!!! You killed Cazador - you win! Have your cake and eat it too! Congrats, you unlocked your hot slutty vampire elf who's basically a trained courtesan, who needs you to be his moral compass, who will never leave you so long as you don't actively rape him - enjoy all the fun orgies in your future!

Your actual choice - the choice the game gives you - is to realize that taking what's essentially a human trafficking victim to a brothel is a dumb idea, but they didn't want to punish you for it.

"Well, Astarion should have said something then. He said no before, he can say no again." - Strawman G3

If you go through life pushing peoples boundaries and expect them to verbally tell you what you're doing wrong, you're gonna be friendless and have a bad time. This ties back to both Astarion having difficulty knowing and defending his own values, BG3 trying to let you make your own decisions without setting out a clear "good or bad" path on occasion, and the hope that you'd use your own morals to make decisions. G3 would never behave in this way irl, and that's where the shock comes from, the guilt from committing an action they thought was without consequence in a risk-free fantasy scenario, and then feeling unpleasantly surprised when called out.

But it's a video game, and you didn't get the little zap, the little sting of an Astarion disapproves in the corner that told you you made the wrong choice. In fact, because he doesn't disapprove, it's not actually the wrong choice!

It really was mean how the Narrator made G3 feel bad, wasn't it. They didn't mean to hurt him. Astarion doesn't mention it, so it's probably fine.

... have you talked to Halsin yet? Surely he had a good time. Right?

CONCLUSION

People think they're good and moral and will typically behave "heroically" in video games. Games support this and reward players for doing so. The "good path" is expected to be clear. However, video games are not real life no matter how much they play at immersion, and multiple games have trained players in a linear "do x, receive y" type fashion. Sex is a reward in games, and is treated that way in real life as well, so players expect the Sharess' orgy scene to be a reward, and are then shocked when Astarion/Gale/Halsin etc reveal during or afterwards that they had a bad time. This is because Larian wants you to treat BG3 like a role playing game and interact with it seriously, and isn't afraid to boop you for your actions in ways that mimic real life relationships. This ethical dissonance makes people uncomfortable especially when they play games to role-play as someone better than themselves, and are surprised when they aren't herded down predetermined "good" paths via instantaneous approval/disapproval mechanics or unlockable "ideal" dialogue.

It is absolutely possible that someday Astarion might be into meaningless group sex with prostitutes for fun and pleasure. However, that is the sort of thing you'd probably either wait for him to bring up by himself organically, or discuss in a long-term trusting relationship after he's had potentially years to process the idea of not immediately hopping into bed with someone, as well as disentangling his instinctive "beaten-in" sexually available behavior from his actual desires. People much more emotionally mature and undamaged than Astarion have destroyed their own relationships by inadvertently pushing a partner (or themselves) into various forms of group sex or other sexual acts. It's not something you do on a random Tuesday on a whim.

Or maybe it is, and I'm just chronically boring and surrounded by boring people lmao

TO THE POSTER THAT INSPIRED THIS: I'm so so sorry if you ever see this, not trying to call you out at all hence no linking, I just wanted to pick apart why I think you felt that way. The thoughts just finally bubbled over after a year+ lol

[redlight-greenelight]

Venom 3: There should have been a wedding

Fun movie! Terrible end of a trilogy.

We needed a wedding.

First order of business: You don't introduce a new Big Bad in the final installment of a trilogy. (Yeah, it's undoubtedly a call to an upcoming project). The first two movies both had the same villains: humans and symbiotes. We had The Life Foundation and Riot, and then Kassidy and Carnage.

Instead of Knull being the BBEG, have (one of) the main antagonists be the American government/military, as they were. Between the rocket and the church, there is no way they don't know about symbiotes and that Eddie Brock has one. Frame him for a murder, now you can hunt him down without anyone mentioning aliens. The public is on the lookout, you have access to police and cameras, etc.

The other main threat is the symbiotes. I like the codex thing, keep it. Instead of calling the woodchipper cats void hunters, have it call the symbiote hivemind. Make it a nice big notification: "Look at us! Look at this big planet full of good hosts and food, come join in!" Every time Eddie and Venom form together, it resets the "beacon" so the symbiotes know where to come. Some have already found their way to Earth.

Second order of business: Anne. We don't get a conclusion for that storyline. In the first movie, she and Eddie are engaged. He spends the rest of the movie pining for her. In the second, Anne is engaged to Dan and that announcement is a big event trigger. BUT Eddie, over the course of the movie, realizes Anne has completely moved on and he can start to do the same. He learns to appreciate Venom.

Now, in the final movie, Eddie should be able to completely move on as well. Whether he's in love with Venom or not, he is over Anne and has replaced her in his heart with Venom. He'll have come to a natural end of that storyline. And what better way to symbolize it?

A wedding! Have the reason everyone is in Vegas be for Anne and Dan's wedding. That's why Eddie goes with the family, that's why he wants into the casino - because his ex-fiance and his somewhat-friend are there and he needs help since he's on the run.

The dancing scene with Mrs Chen is fun and all, but it doesn't belong in the main movie as it is. Either have that be the time Venom realizes what's going on, or save the scene for an after-credits special. The whole wedding could be a montage in the credits: Venom dancing with Mrs Chen, Eddie literally and symbolically letting Anne go by walking her down the aisle, drunk shenanigans, etc.

Have the incredible security of a casino be the thing that catches 51's eye and the reason they get captured.

Third order: Eddie. I get it, he's tired, but he seemed out of character. Without going too far into things, just have him a little less bitchy with Venom, a little more into the partners/Lethal Protector thing (like in the dog scene). Have him at least try to get back to Venom when they separate. He just spent the whole last movie learning he's better with Venom than without him, there's no way a single line is going to cover all that when we just watched (how long is the movie?) an hour and a half of Eddie showing us otherwise.

...

I have a lot of thoughts and a hard time verbalizing them but this is the gist. I hope to do a summary of what the movie would look like if I changed the above points. We'll see.

OH! And, please, I needed the line "One last dance, buddy" from Eddie as they face off against a small army of symbiotes, ready to give their lives to save each other/their weird little family/the planet.

[disgracefulthings]

Shang Qinghua, internally: Since I'm now married to Mobei-Jun, that means I'm basically his wife, right? I can sleep in late and do some writing? Can I finally... relax?

Mobei-Jun, handing Shang Qinghua a shit ton of paper work: You are in charge now, I'm going to spend the day napping

Shang Qinghua: ...

Shang Qinghua: MOBEI-JUN'S THE WIFE?!?!?!?!

[nenoname]

stan twins the canon cptsd brothers i will always think about all your unaddressed issues that would make perfect plot fuel for your spinoff

and also the whole 'stan getting that poem by bill via a website which contrasts with bill getting one from the axolotl via a website' foreshadowing thing

like idk i would love something like su future but like more optimistic, aka not an accumulated breakdown that has to be mostly resolved off screen at the end :/// but something thats being kinda addressed throughout? (although would love to see one of them turn into a monster thats always fun lol)

stan having severe issues from his dad and those years of being homeless that we keep on getting more info on but never really getting confronted on (the drifter catalogue and tijuana incident...), him being completely alone for like twenty years when running the shack before soos comes along to the point that 1998 is noted as his low point, and him not really learning about bill+what he did to ford until ages after he killed him if he ever did get the full context

while i think amnesia and everyone seeing him as a hero actually helped with stan's 'i'm a worse version of my brother' thing its still a lingering issue too and we now got him being insecure over his own hands

ford being immediately thrown from 'being tortured by bill' to 'being stuck in the multiverse and being chased by bounty hunters constantly', him fully expecting himself to die when destroying bill, and him only now being safe for the first time in 30 years ....relatively safe, he's still in constant danger because of course he is

idk in the end the series wants them to be happy and they deserve it, its why i wasn't too worried about the book being like 'ooh bill is back!! and the book is haunting ford' thing cos i knew they'll be ok

[seasicksilver]

off to super hell

[bethdehart]

Dragon and Manticore

The dragon's name is Kyzza and the manticore's name is Narshazli. Together they live in a cave oasis in the middle of a vast desert, bothering travelers with riddles and pranks. Just gals bein' pals.

(For $3 a month you can see exclusive sketches, sneak peeks at upcoming adoptables, and behind the scenes content of my comic hallowed hijinks! https://ko-fi.com/bethdehart )

[allpromarlo]

jjk fans will jump at any opportunity to hate women because what did hana even do

[alicecoopersbush]

realizing i think they updated sebastian to be more pissy and have more of an attitude because of all the selfshippers/his creator being uncomfortable with it but in all honesty it made me hornier for him sorry.

[the-blackdale]

My biggest weakness is Aziraphale in long flowy white robes with them big ass sleeves that move when he flutters his hands and it's all just so babygirl coded !!! Like yes girl, go frolick in a field, run through the daffodils, you deserve it !!

[puredoesnotmeankind]

Riwb!MC is SO silly, Riley will be basically saying ‘you mean a lot to me, I have never felt this way before, I’ve always put on a front for everyone but for you I want to be genuine and let you see all of me even though it scares me that I’m not enough for you because you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever known and I want you to like me so bad’

And MC will be like ‘what FUCKING angle is Riley trying to play here?? They never show their true face to me….’