#( like i am 90% excited 10% fear i just had to like )

[thatseventiesbitch]

That '90s Show Part 2 Review

Overall, I'm giving Part 2 4.5 Stars out of 5!!!! I completely loved it, and thought it was an improvement from last season. I am now all the more excited for part 3, given what I know is still coming. 😜

If you're interested, here's my real-time reactions thread from Twitter (pinned to the top of my bio).

Stay tuned for my breakdown (warning: there be spoilers here):

The Good

The H U M O R continues to be the brightest spot for me. This is a genuinely funny show - I laughed out loud (okay, closer to howled if we're being honest) several times. It feels similar (though not identical) to T70S' brand of humor. I can tell it was made by the same people. This season, like last, Ozzie was my main man and had the one-liners that sent me the most but I can say the same for Jay, Gwen, Nate, and Leia too. And Bob. Oh hell, all of them! I'm sure I'll be reblogging my favorite moments for months to come while we wait for part 3!

The C H A R A C T E R D E V E L O P M E N T is the other shining star for me. The first season was limited (disappointing?) in this regard - to be fair, they only had 10 episodes to introduce us to a whole new handful of characters and make us care about them, and they mostly did. But this season brought the depth I was looking for - and we're only halfway through! 🤯 We learn more about Jay's playboy past, and see how he's actively working to grow and change and do his relationship with Leia differently. Ozzie is humanized when he has his heart broken - and his friends are there to pick up the pieces 💔. Nate struggles with his feelings and relationship with Nikki all season, and by the end of episode 8 he seems to be grappling with still having real feelings for her that he can't move on from. Nikki's pregnancy scare really affected her, and not in the way one would necessarily expect. She ended part 2 feeling lost and unsure of her direction, or what she truly wants (and not her parents), for the first time in her life. Gwen's storylines were perhaps my favorite of all (I'm a big Gwen stan, okay?). I was impressed that they decided to 'go there' with the racism plot, and even more impressed at the frank conversation she had at the end of the episode with her white (and well-intentioned, but bumbling) mom. Was it perfect and resolved? No. I think that was kind of the point. Not to mention her navigating her first real feelings and her relationship (?) with Cole. And Leia, my lovely Leia - she is learning about communication, forgiveness, honesty - all with the gentle guidance of her family and her friends. And that's not to mention Red and Kitty, who had sweet, plot-driving storylines of their own. I loved their realization that they like their rut - but loved even more when Red was inspired to live every day like it's his last and pushed through his fears to go to Paris with Kitty 🥰. This longer season has afforded more 'filler-like' episodes for us to just hang out with the characters, and get to know them more intimately. What are their wants, fears, insecurities, innermost thoughts? We are getting there. We are really getting there. Let's see what 8 more episodes will bring!

BOB! Bob gets his own point, because I enjoyed him so much (and seeing him and Red eventually come together to be overprotective grandpas 🤣. I laughed so much at his relationship with Leia, how they were just chilling in the basement, how he wanted all the teen gos. And Gwen's "What the heck, do you tell your grandpas everything?" 😂

DONNA! I adore Donna Pinciotti (Forman?), always have, and I adore her even more in the '90s than I thought possible. I love seeing her as a mom and her relationship with Leia. More pls.

This season felt more '90s to me! They incorporated more '90s references and brought back the regular fantasy sequences that always set the original apart. Off the top of my head, I loved: Kitty's Carmen Electra fantasy/nightmare (😂), Leia's Lisa Loeb fantasy (🤣), the Macarena (that shit was e v e r y w h e r e in the mid-90s, man), the Mentos commercial, Jay and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith cameo!!! also, Leo's son???) and all of Kitty's '90s slang that she picked up from the kids at school 😂👏🏻

The guest stars! Mitch and The Angel returned from T70S, and I am a big Will Forte/that era of SNL stan so I thoroughly enjoyed his appearance, too (and know he's been involved on the OG series on the writing/production side).

Red's trains (callback to season 1 of T70S - whoa!!) 🥰

I thought they struck a good balance this season between those heartfelt, 'very special episode'-type moments that '90s sitcoms were infamous for, without actually being too sickly-sweet, ala a Full House or Girl Meets World type moment. Donna and Leia's interaction in Nikki's bedroom regarding the voicemail comes to mind, as well as the is-Nikki-pregnant storyline and Nikki and Nate's celebratory dance at the end 🤣.

Which reminds me - I thought Nikki and Nate's storyline was intriguing. I have always been sort of a fan of their relationship - I don't think it's as bad as some others seem to - but remain unconvinced that they're 'meant to be' or endgame or whatever. But I enjoyed watching them navigate their break-up this season and then reluctantly find their ways back to each other, though. We'll see where it goes in part 3!

I immediately noted (and was pleased!) that there was a Laurie mention and a Midge mention this season. Both very off-hand, but it was something I was curious about. Who will be next? Betsy Kelso? 😮

The Bad

For me, ngl, Topher Grace's (Eric) absence was really felt. It is definitely the kids' show now and a substantial storyline isn't one I'd ever expect, but gosh I missed him from the family scenes at the beginning (both those with Red & Kitty, and those with Donna & Leia). The silver lining is how the other characters continue to reference him - almost in every episode, really - and so we still learn things about him and his relationships to his wife, daughter, and parents through these mentions from other characters. There will always be a part of me that is crossing my fingers for another Eric appearance, though, and I think there always will be.

Kitty's characterization as an overbearing mother was overdone. To be fair, this isn't a deviation from the original show. This is how she was often written towards the end of T70S - overbearing, possessive of Eric, lashing out at Donna or feeling in competition with her. It was done for laughs, but it wasn't particularly funny to me (and never was) 🤷‍♀️.

Not enough Geia content for my 'shipper heart 😩. We got one boob touch 😂, and it is clear that Leia still prioritizes her friendship with Gwen above all else (I lol'ed when she worried Gwen was in jail and that she would have to commit a crime to join her) but I want more, damn it! Part 2 solidified for me that Geia is never going to be anything more than a crack!ship. 😰

Which reminds me - Jay and Leia are kind of 'meh' for me. They're fine, I don't dislike them together, and I do like how we're seeing them both learn and grow through their relationship but... it just inspires kind of lukewarm feelings, I guess.

There wasn't a lot of Sherri in part 2. I love Sherri. Hope to see more of her in the next part.

The Ugly

I am pleased to say that I can't think of anything!!! Fez was absent (although they didn't directly reference their break-up, Sherri is clearly single and on the prowl all season) but I didn't miss him (🤭). Ditto to Kelso and Jackie - although we did get one reference to Jay's dad and the Kelso family heirloom (aka porn). I would say the ugliest part is that I now have to wait until October for part 3!!!

[fragilecapric0rnn]

✨ Fic Writing Review 2023 ✨

Tagged by the wonderful @thefreakandthehair <3<3 thank you my friend!! I've been taking a lil ST break but BOY did I brainrot all over the place the first half of this year! I do plan on coming back to my loves later this month/beginning of next for a few exchanges buuuut here are my stats <3<3

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

Words and Fics

Published word count is 99,128 and unpublished word count is ABOUT 10k (might be lowballing it here lol)

2 published WIPs and 5 unpublished WIPs

10 fics published

1 finished multi-chapter fic [Cheerfic, my beloved]

2 multi-chapter fics published and in-progress

Top 10 5 Fics by Kudos (i only have 10 published so I will be just doing Top 5)

Faces Freedom With A Little Fear ; What if Steve had an older sister the whole time?

Catch Me (I'm Falling) ; Early 2000s College Cheerleading AU, Steddie + Wheelingham

Slowly, All at Once, Inevitably, Out of Nowhere. ; Steddie First Kiss Fic

one single thread of gold tied me to you ; Steddie re-meeting in the 90s future fic

Anyway, It's About Old Friends ; When Harry Met Sally, Canon Divergence Steddie Fic

My fandom fic events in 2023

Lex's Spicy Six Fanworks Challenges for Spring and Summer and will be posting Winter later this month/beginning of next month!

Upcoming Events and Projects for 2023

A friend fic exchange! (it's a surprise and BOY am I excited for it)

More installments of the FRIENDS AU

Finishing the last half of AIAOF

The unpublished Lumax installment of the AIAOF universe

The Nancy College Deferment Fic

probably a lot more 90s!Steve in every way possible

Finishing the already plotted out Ronance Political AU

No pressure tagging some friends

@fastcardotmp3 @judasofsuburbia @gothbat99 @hellsfireclub @kkpwnall @cheatghost

+ anyone who sees this and wants to participate! Just say I tagged ya <33

[xxxg0ryygurlll13xxx]

i really don’t feel like a teenager ever

like i feel more like a 50 year old woman than a 16 year old girl. i don’t really talk w my friends abt anything but schoolwork mostly cause that’s the only thing my one school friend talks abt besides her bf and one hobby. i don’t talk abt current shows i gossip some but i find myself not really talking to ppl at all, i don’t go to the movies, i usually only go to the mall alone, when i go over to my bfs house sure we do teen stuff like kiss and cuddle but we don’t talk much mostly just touch, idk i just feel like i wasted all my youth and i feel like an old woman now like my life has been so much longer than it has been. i worry abt all kinds of adult things and i’ve never even really felt like a kid when i was a kid. idk i just see ppl my age having so much fun w their friends and such going places doing things and i just do most things by myself and my life mostly revolves around school rather than the few friends i have. i just feel kinda lonely but not really in a way that more friends would fix it i don’t want a huge friend group. what i miss was the feeling of friendship i had w my middle/elementary school friends it was mostly just the 4 of us and i’ve never had a connection like that since it’s just got me feeling weird abt myself. idk idek if this makes any sense to y’all. i made this acc and started blogging in it the summer before high school cause i felt lonely i lost 3 of my bestest friends and didn’t know what to do and here i am feeling such a similar way and i have been for awhile idk i feeel like isolating myself but i still crave that feeling of not being lonely. idk i’m hoping i can find that in college but i fear i’ll be too old to do all the fun high school things. everyone’s always busy and no one really texts or calls me anymore just my bf and we mostly text and then i ask if he can call. i just feel a bit casted to the side in ppls lives. y’all are really my new best friends cause i just tell y’all everything since i have no one else to tell no one else cares to know. i used to be so happy and idk what happened. i feel like i’m too young to be this sad and depressed these r supposed to be the best years of my life but i’m just angry sad and depressed 90% of the time. snapping at ppl and wanting to run away and go missing or smthn. just to see who comes out of the woodwork (if anyone) to help. i don’t feel like myself anymore i can’t even draw well anymore. like someone took my brain out and replaced it w a diff one. a worse one. i miss that excitement i had the fun other ppl seem to have all the time going out on weekends, going to games w friends, hanging out gossiping and chatting reading magazines. i feel stuck in this limbo of angst and sadness. there must be something wrong w me (more than there already is). i know i had to grow up fast cause of my parents who cause they were always working and my ma in chronic pain couldn’t take care of the house so i’d always spend all of my time cleaning and doing their work for them. i went away for 2 days once when i was like 10 and i came home and rhe house looked like a tornado went thru a frat house. i walking the door there were pizza boxes on the table cans a bottles on the floor garbage everywhere. idk i just feel like i’m too young to already be so tired w life.

[skyplayssplatoon3]

Ramblin' some thoughts about the new season / game / etc

I really wish I was more hyped for the new season, but I don't really have much TO be excited about, and I definitely feel the 3 month update cycle isn't for me

I have no new weapons I even wanna bother playing (I always try them all out for a bit but I just don't vibe with 90% of them), Bluefin comin back is neat but not my fave, and the new map I like but it'll REALLY depend on how it actually feels to play

(NEW FLINGZA MY BELOVED...Final update probably, I fear /bricked)

BIG RUN IS HYPE THOUGH...I've super wanted another King Salmonid and we got one!! So I can definitely take that!

Though I think the squads in Turf War are definitely doing more harm than good for me these days 😔Don't get me wrong, it's amazing you can just squad up with your pals and have fun!

But in terms of learning new weapons, it's hell when you try something 100% brand new, and get paired against Top 500 X Squads CONSTANTLY (and I mean constantly, I legit saw the same Top 10 Gold X badge player like 7 times now in -Turf Lobbies-, I am nowhere NEAR their skill level /bricked)

And I feel bad squadding up with friends for new weapons cause I feel myself dragging everyone down with terrible performance, so that kinda messes up my fun personally, so I'd rather just practice on my own but THENNN /dies

I ain't worried about like winning a lot or anything, but the matchmaking makes it feel like a pointless endeavor sometimes when there's no spawn bubbles to sit and plan in and instead you just get mega camped 50x over trying to press a button /dies

Splatoon 3 is definitely the better game in a lot of ways of content, but the differences over time made me realize I'm just not adapting well to the changes

And after over a year, I'm not sure I'll ever adapt 😭

AT ANY RATE, I got other games to play soon! Super Mario RPG is very soon, Pokemon DLC is next month, etc! I'll run around in some other games to keep my sanity

It's just a little sad; I had big aspirations to try and be more competitive, maybe to nab a Top 500 X badge myself!! But nowadays due to the regional matchmaking, I can't even GET an X Match anymore LMAO;;; I tried like 3 times and it just keeps kicking me out after 200 seconds

Plus I just can't seem to keep up these days, so yeah, in before "Skill Issue" cause believe me, I'm aware /dies

I'm thinkin' Splatoon 2 was the peak of my competitive skills and, now I just get to coast occasionally as a casual player, which is fine and is probably for the best!

NOT TO SOUND TOO BUMMED OUT KJAHSKJHAS I had these thoughts for a long time now, and I may just be growin' out of the game itself a little bit, which sucks cause I love it so much, but it's gonna move on with or without me

BUT I will still have fun where I can, and I really hope other folks got something great out of the new Season updates so far!!

We got Splatfest and Big Run soon, so hopefully we can all have fun with that! SORRY 2 RAMBLE, just kinda wanted to get some stuff out there

Nothing's happening to this blog or anything; game or not I'm still a fan of the series!! HERE'S HOPIN' SIDE ORDER IS FUNNN

[abidethetempest]

mega 3-in-1 rise and fall retrospective post!

(because i forgot to do them for the last three chapters..... oops) literally one person i think is cool liked my post about bringing these pack and I am Not Immune to peer pressure so I decided to do the ones I missed right away lmao

Chapter 10

As I said in the authors note on this chapter, this one was hard for me. Mainly because I was writing it while working on my conlang and then I got too excited abt the conlang and kinda forgot to write the chapter,,,,, I honestly can't remember if there was anything cool or important I wanted to highlight for this one. Rereading it now, I don't see anything to point out in particular. I mostly had fun writing Risen being kind of a menace with her lack of self preservation, and having Erikses go into mom-mode at the end.

Chapter 11

Aster

oh hey look that guy again. i'm sure he's not gonna cause any problems at all :)

no but in all seriousness, I do really like writing about Aster and how Risen feels about him. It's cool to have him be seen as a very real threat, esp in a game where as the player I feel like this unstoppable murder machine 90% of the time. Risen also has to worry about the lives of the House, who are most definitely not going to get back up if Aster kills them like she does. She's already prone to paranoia when it comes to him, so tapping back into some of her fears after a few chapters of relative peace was refreshing. (For me, anyway, I'm sure it sucked for her.) Excited to show you guys her growth as a character thru dealing w Aster and also to get to the more exciting bits of this arc.

I Wish Erikses Was My Mom

need I say more? Erikses is kind of my favorite character (okay maybeeee she's tied with Aakse tbh) and I just love writing her interactions with Risen. I was concerned that it would feel like her relationship with Risen moves too quickly from "tentative ally/mentor figure" to "i have been adopted this nice crab alien" but I eventually came to my senses and realized this is my fic and I can do whatever I want.

I do honestly feel like this was the right time to have them get closer, and not just because I want to write cute bonding times. I'll probably elaborate on this more in that sidefic I have planned; Erikses is someone who has always wanted to be a mentor and parent figure but it simply never worked out until now. Now Risen is suddenly thrust into her life, and Erikses has come to care about her beyond the initial "honored guest who I owe a great debt to" dynamic.

Writing that hug healed my soul. Erikses is best mom confirmed.

Chapter 12

all caught up now!

The Nightmare

ehehehe I bet I got some of you with that little fakeout huh >:3c sorry not sorry. It wasn't in my outline, but I felt like I wanted to show that, even tho Risen got some nice comfort from her alien mom Erikses last chapter, she's not instantly cured of all fear. But now she has Erikses in her corner if she ever needs someone to remind her its still gonna be okay.

Traveling Songs

A thing that has been in my brain since almost day 1 of this project is the idea of group songs being big in Eliksni culture. Traveling songs are specifically meant to bring good luck on your journey and keep everyone entertained (and awake) during all that damn walking. Also the sound of large groups of people singing together just does something to my brain okay.

Erikses, let me see what you have? A knife! NO!

Everybody's favorite scribe stabs people in her free time, go queen. This cultural detail is another one I've been kicking around for a long time. I think it came more out of the Long Drift than Riisborn Eliksni culture. Everyone needs to know how to fight, because the universe can be an incredibly cruel and hostile place, especially after the Whirlwind. Even scholars like Erikses traditionally are trained in some kind of weapon, tho their skills are usually more focused on self defense.

Risen Can Change Her Knives Now?

This is not a Risen-specific ability! (Actually none of her abilities as a Guardian will ever be hers alone, just a matter of skill, age, and practice.) I headcanon that Guardians can change the form of their Light-based summons (Hunter knives, Titan hammers, Golden Gun, Dawnblades, etc.) to fit their own personal tastes or fighting style. Within reason, ofc-- a Golden Gun will always be a gun, but maybe some Hunters make it a sniper instead. Risen wants her knives to look like Erikses's and in a quiet environment, with time and focus, she can do it. This is a lot harder during a fight, but practice makes perfect.

Embroidery <333

Once again, R&F is secretly just me gushing about every fiber art I know/want to learn forever. Embroidery is one I want to learn real bad; I do cross-stitch already a tiny bit, so I think I could do it in theory, but it just looks like magic to me ughhhh so cool.

Erikses choosing to share her art with Risen is a significant act in Eliksni culture, and somewhat formalizes their teacher-student relationship (we have not gotten to my cultural concept of iksabas yet but when we do I will have so much yelling to do about Erikses and how she makes Risen a member of her family thru the act of sharing her language and her craft with her).

whew okay thats a long boi in the soup but there's three chapters worth of retrospectives!

[leffee]

More headcannons -

-Starting off with a classic vinnie in summer will wear as little as possible 90% of the time he’s shirtless and the other 10% just walking around in his boxers because he can and has no shame.

- vinnie also doesn’t think that he ever needs sunscreen and that he won’t burn it’ll just turn into “a sick tan” which turns into his friends holding him down to spraying him with sunscreen so he won’t whine later lol

- penny is so sweet most of the time but she has the mom look so don’t ever make her mad one stare from her and you know you’re in trouble.

-pepper likes Zoe but she’ll never admit it she doesn’t think that she has a chance because of digby and her deep fear that telling Zoe would ruin their friendship so she just continues to be her best friend and protecter.

- Sunil goes to Russell for advice a lot of the time because he feels safe doing so he knows Russell will never judge and will give good advice as well as keep secrets.

- Russell doesn’t like taking his shirt off in the summer or ever in front of anyone he’s super sensitive about his body. The times he had tried or thought about it the girls (mainly pepper)make jokes and pay way to much attention to him when he does so he doesn’t ( he will in front of vinnie because they are dating but it took a bit)

- zoe really wants to open up a clothing store with her own designs she loves fashion so deeply that she wants to own a place where she can help everyone find their true fabulousness. But for now it’s a dream she saves up for.

- minka really loves to climb things with vinnie the’ll often have races up trees to see who can get to the top first without vinnie falling half the time of corse lol

- Russell builds robots in his spare time he’s very good and now sells them who he calls “clients” who are in the rich community and would like to remain anonymous so none of his friends know how much he makes in general and it bothers the living daylights out of pepper and Zoe who are very nosey

- speaking of being bothered Russell wont tell pepper his middle name just because he knows it bugs her they were on the topic and he saw his chance to mess with her for fun ( it’s James hehe)

- vinnie is super good at keeping promises he won’t break one ever unless told otherwise by said individual he’s always been that way and won’t stop anytime soon no matter what.

- penny is trying to work on crying less she once tried to make that her New Year’s resolution but failed the first week ( her friends were still proud of her for trying but told her they really don’t mind her being who she is ) she loves them for it but still tries her best to get little victories for times she could’ve cried but didn’t and to her that’s a win!

Alright I have so much more to say but I’ll leave this here for you! Your thoughts? I’m excited for the feed back I’ll have to send more this is fun!

Oh my gawd, I didn't expect so many but I am so happy. Get ready lads cause that's a long one that's what she said, I'll need to number them instead of doing my usual bulleted list

Tehee classic Vinnie that sure is and I agree. I imagine that when home alone and not planning to go out anywhere he might just go around naked. He just has no shame, that's one, but I think that he just could not care less about anyone being naked, just in general. He won't do it, and knows that he can't just go out like that or anything, but personally he doesn't care. But also I have a contradicting headcanon (for so many of Vinnie headcanons that I have I also have a directly contradicting one, because both just fit in my mind) in which he even during summer is not feeling as warm as everybody else, but that plays into the whole cold-blood-ness, is that even a word? And so he wears clothes, sometimes even warmer ones. I kid you not I can imagine him wearing leg warmers in summer.

"A sick tan"? Ye, that does sound like Vinnie, Thank the stars he has friends so he doesn't burn. I imagine he hisses at them when they hold him down and spray him. I also have a similiar headcanon, and this one is pretty estabilished in my head. So first of all, yes, he refuses to wear sunscreen, but wait, there's more. So I headcanon him as very fucking pale and mixed with that no wearing sunscreen mindset, he is whole red afterwards and looks like a burnt chicken nugget. It's also very painful :'D.

Yes, absolutely. If there is a mom friend in this group then that is definitely Penny. And yes, she's so cool, because she is this sweet, nice and sensitive person but can also kick butt. Others sweat when seeing that look and so do I. I love Penny :]

I can't explain it but this trope fits Pepper so much?? Like yes she would. I think she'd also thing Zoe's too cool for her. Like I said before, zoepepper is a surprisingly compatibile ship. But I think I love the "protector" part the most. Imagine, that because of that love she's very careful about the people Zoe wants to date/dates already. The sort of "Oh, you like __?" and then she finds that person and has a very long talk with them to see if that someone would treat Zoe right, thoughts?

Oh, so Russell's good at keeping secrets and giving advice? Yeah, I can definitely stand behind it and of course Sunil going to him for ones. I wonder if he has any sort of certain category of advices he goes to Russell to. We need more Sunil Russell interactions in this world.

Poor Russell. I feel him so much. I hope the girls don't actually mean it seriously though. They're just kinda like that. And yes, I dig the whole Russell is self-concious about his body headcanon. I mean, we did see him get upset when Pepper made that one joke when comparing him to a marshmallow. But I love him, perhaps even more because of his body shape :3. Have I ever mentioned how much I love characters who are chubby? Because I do. It's been growing on me so much lately, to the point when I oftenadd at least a little bit of chub to most characters who are depicted as skinny (I'm looking at you skinny Vinnie). Speaking of Vinnie, please tell me he was supportive and assured Russell that he looks great and he loves him all the more. And hey, they're dating in this one, that's character delevopment if I've ever seen one! Though I can't deny, I'm a sucker for jealous Vinnie.

"Find their true fabulousness" is so cool though and that could be like a motto of her shop. Okay, thoughts. So, I imagine that with time Zoe would really grow to be more open to others' different opinions on fashion and style, expecially what they feel comfortable wearing. And while she still has her own opinions, she would help those potential clients choose something or give advice that stays within their own fashion sense, but also gently push them into perhaps trying something new.

Yes, I could not agree more, this is another one of my estabilished headcanons, mainly because it's barely even a headcanon. In the show they are both the climbers, so of course that translates to the human au as well. But Vinnie falling saskas good that in my headcanon he has a big pain tolerance (mainly due to the fact he just hurts himself a lot, he got used to the pain so he is not affected by it as much anymore). Though I personally always imgined that he would genuinely be good at it. But yes, basically whenever your ball gets stuck in a tree just call on of them. Or you want to break into someone's house by the open window on the second floor, that works too. I'm not sure how to transport that into human au, but I also imagine they each have a different style of climbing, given that in canon they do have. While Minka does physically climb Vinnie just mostly sticks to the surface. Also fun fact, if I remember correctly I've seen somewhere that lizards move faster on walls than they do on the ground. AND even more curiously, they do show that in lps. Seriously, often when Vinnie is on the wall he walks reallt quickly. I'll admit, if that fact is true, that's quite the dedication.

Wait wait wait, Russell making robots? That's cool, but he sells them to rich people? Damn, boy, maybe he's secretely loaded? I'd imagine at least. But now I wonder what kinda robots he makes because at first I imagined one of those rather humanoid looking small robots that you can control, but then I realized that things like kitchen robots also exist. But actually now that I think it through, I imagine like an android robot especially since those are for the rich.

I love the idea of Russell not wanting to tell Pepper that not because he has a legitimate reason but just because he wants to bug her. And that only bothers her more because she starts to think that since he is really set on not telling her that it's probably embarassing or maybe nerdy (like she can talk! Her mmiddle name is Mildred. Also what's with the middle names in this show? Pepper Mildred Clark? Vincent Alfonso Terrio? Boy). The look of disappointment on her face when she finds out it's just James lol.

Oho? I love it, of course I do. But you are right. I imagine him very loyal, and so of course that includes keeping promises. Like he's completely stiff in that department. He will keep it no matter what, and even if the person tells him he doesn't need to anymore he would need a while to get used to that thought.

But this one, It just might be my second favourite headcanon from all of those besides the previous one. I don't even know how to describe it, but I just love it. Back in the day there weren't really many people who openly disliked Penny Ling, but those who did often said they were annoying by her constant crying. But like?? No baby, please, she's so real for that. This is such a real problem really, so down to the ground. Perhaps a bit exaggarated in the show as it often is in cartoons, but still. So many people don't want to cry publicly because they think they will annoy others. And unfortuantely they would sometimes be right. But look at her! She's rather shy, not all that willing to open about herself, sometimes anxious. I quite frankly think that her canon self might be one of the most relatable ones.

Phew, it took me an hour, not that this is a bad thing, I loved every second of it, so here you go. I hope you like the feedback :]. This is the most fun I had in this fandom ever, so please, please feel free to send more lps related content, whether that be new headcanons, thoughts about what I said or anything else. Seriously, it seems like you are just as obsessed with those characters as I am, and believe me, I'd love nothing more than to talk through literally everything about them and/or this stupid little show. Don't leave me alone with my lps obsession D:

la creatura

[keefwho]

June 07 - 2023 Wednesday

7:55 AM

I read all my journal entries like I said. It’s hard to not cringe at them because I don’t like observing myself. But I intend to get used to doing it. I want to be able to behold myself without feeling weird about it. 

10:43 PM

This morning while making breakfast I read one of the beginning chapters of my ACT book. One thing stuck out to me, how it said suppressing feelings could make you become distant from your past. That fits what I’ve been experiencing so that was interesting. Breakfast was eggs, corned beef hash, and toast again. I got to stream on time today and finished up another sketch sheet. As usual I started today’s commission fearful that I would do a bad job but also as usual it turned out okay. I even only went for 90 minutes because of how quickly I went and intended to use the missing 30 minutes for personal work later. I did my workout which was a 3 mile walk on the treadmill. In the past I went for 45 minutes but I thought it would be better to aim for a distance goal. I should also be able to do 3 miles in 45 minutes if I’m going relatively fast so it forces me to push myself a little. I got it done in maybe 50 minutes so I was close. I really pushed through it today because my legs were sore before I even started and I didn’t feel like I was gonna make it. For lunch I made spaghetti and had a couple oreos. I hung out in David’s server again while I did 570rm’s request and tried tidying up my Patreon and planning how to tie in my VR work. I also worked on this gloryhole pic and get a bit stuck figuring out the colors and cum dynamics. I played Zelda for a little bit and beat the Hebra labyrinth before watching another MLP gen 5 episode with Daisy. The show has improved drastically in terms of character dynamics and animation. I’m started to REALLY enjoy it now. Even the youtube shorts have gotten better. It’s making it exciting to draw MLP art again. And given how well my Izzy pic did, it would be good for business. Daisy and I hopped into VR tonight after ponies. As much as I enjoy finding other people to hang around with when we world hop, I was happy that tonight it ended up just being us. I cherish the one on one time and wish there was more of it. But not too much, I understand the need to invite others in. Dinner was chicken, fries, and carrots while I played some Shipbreaker and chatted with Daisy. When she fell asleep I started working on the next letter a little bit and re-read most of the ACT chapter on Defusion. I should have read it earlier in the day so I could practice it but I will attempt to do it tomorrow along with the self chapter. 

Overall I felt good today. I grew tired of my negative thoughts and unintentionally defused from them. Today I felt hopeful and had a better sense of direction like I know what actions to take. Some of the things I dream of also seemed tangible, like feeling included and wanted, or becoming more independent by getting my driver’s license. To work on that I’m making a new rule I know will be hard to enforce: anything I want, I have to get it myself. I intend to have one of my parents take me to the store when I need something, and to pick up my groceries with them once a month. It will be hard but it must be done. The reason I’ve been slacking with getting out is because of how easy it is to blow something off as being too easy or more convenient if I let my parents get it. I can’t make any more excuses. This rule of mine has to be set in stone. 

I talked briefly to mom about this household’s future. She said someone wants to buy the house for market price and that they could be moving out of here within 2 years. If they did, they would be going to live next to my uncles in North Carolina on 3 acres of land he has free. They want to put a modular home on it and something like a trailer for me if I want. Given how the housing market is and how unlikely it will be that I can stand fully on my own, I will likely go with them in this scenario. Not that it’s a bad thing really. I would be closer to most people I know or have known which means I’ll be closer to people I have yet to meet too. I did think of a hilariously terrible scenario where I end up moving to the east coast and Daisy moves out went somewhere for school when the time comes. That would be some rancid luck right there. 

[127-mile]

Kiss and tell.

Pairing: Sicheng x female reader.

Genre: College!au, babysitting, horror | Fluff, angst, mature content.

Warnings: Fingering (it’s not detailed, I don’t know how to write smut), orgasm denial, kind of fear inducing phone calls, mention of Sicheng selling drugs, strong language.

Plot: You have to babysit on Halloween night, and invite Sicheng to join you. But something feels wrong when the phone starts to ring.

Word count: +5.1k.

A/N: This is part of the 90′s love collab by @quokkacore​ and formely by @/etherealereine | This is inspired by an urban legend. | The title has nothing to do with the story, I came up with the idea after.

"What are we doing tonight?"

You are startled when you feel hands on your waist from behind, and if you were not so acquainted with the perfume immediately intoxicating your sense, you would have freed yourself from the sudden embrace. "I don't know what you are doing, but I am working tonight."

The warmth against your back disappears, and you meet your boyfriend's gaze. "Working? It is Halloween, you can't work." he answers, and you scoff, pushing him away when he tries to grab your book. "Care to tell me how I am supposed to pay for food if I don't work?" he seems to think about ir, running his fingers through his hair.

"Why don't you ask your parents? You'll go back to work next week." you knew what he was about to say even before he opened his mouth. Not that he is an open book, but because it is a recurring conversation between you. "You think my parents are going to give me money to cover what I didn't get today, just because I preferred to go party and spend my saving in alcohol?"

"Why not?" you heave a sigh, you love your boyfriend, of course you do, but you are tired of this kind of conversation. It leads to the same ending every time. "Because my parents are not yours, Sicheng. If your parents can take care of all of your expenses despite you being an adult, mine can't."

"They do not cover all of my expenses! I work too, I have money of my own!" he says, a hand on his heart in faux offense. "Selling bad quality drugs is not a job, Sicheng, it is false advertising and tricking naive kids who think they will become cool if they get high before class."

"Now you are just being mean, Y/n." Sicheng sighs, and you shrug. "I just need to you to understand that I need to work, I can't call my parents for money when I feel like it. So I'm sorry, but you'll have to find something to do tonight, because I am not going out."

"Alright, whatever." he answers, and even though you were expecting him to leave and sulk, he stays. "I'm sorry, baby, I just wanted to have one last Halloween with you, that's all." you roll your eyes, and you put your hands on his cheeks. "You need to stop being dramatic, Sicheng. This is our last Halloween as students, not our last Halloween as a whole, except if you plan on breaking up with me once we graduate."

When he pursues his lips, and seems to think about it, you hit his shoulder. "Eh! Do you really have to think about it?" he tries to stay stoic, but he fails, because a smile brightens his face right away. "Of course I do not need to think about it! Why would I break up with you? Dummy."

"You are an idiot, Dong Sicheng." you mumble, and he leans to kiss the tip of your nose. "I am your idiot." he whispers, and you pretend to gag. "That's disgusting, what is wrong with you?" he rolls his eyes and he takes a step back. "So there is nothing I can do, or say to have you by my side tonight?"

"Nothing, I'm sorry." you are not really sorry, because you know your work is way more important than whatever party he was planning on bringing you to. "But," you start, and he straightens up. "maybe you could stop by around 10pm, to spend a little bit of time with me, what do you think?"

Sicheng's eyes widen and he cocks his head to the side. "Wait, really?" you nod, and you wonder when he is going to jump in place from the excitement you can see in his eyes. "You never asked me to come!" of course you never did, and for many reasons, but why not? "I know, but at least we'll be able to spend Halloween together. Okay, there will not be alcohol, or music, but we'll be together."

"I don't care about the alcohol or the music!" he exclaims, and you chuckle. "Alright then, come at around 10." you take a pencil out of your bag, and Sicheng hands ou his hand so you can write the address on the palm of his hand. "Don't lose it, I don't know their phone number so I won't be able to call you to give it again."

"Do not worry, I'm not going to use my hand at all!" he answers, and you heave a sigh. "You have class this afternoon, and you use this hand to write." he shrugs as he looks at the black ink bleed a bit onto his skin. "I won't write then, I'll listen, and remember everything." this is impossible, especially for Sicheng who can't focus for more than five minutes at time, but you trust him.

"Sicheng, we are going to be late, are you coming?" the young man turns around when he hears Johnny's voice behind him. "Yeah yeah, I'm coming." he gets up from the bench and he swings his backpack onto his right shoulder. "I have to go practice, but I'll see you later, alright?"

"I don't think I'll have time to wait for you after class, so you'll see me tonight, at 10. You better be on time, or I'm going to bed without you, alright?" he nods with fervor, and he leans to kiss you gently on the lips. "I'm never late."

"Careful with your hand!" you yell as he starts to run towards his friends who wolfwhistle at the public display of affection. "Promise!" he answers, and you are pretty sure you hear him curse at his friends before disappearing.

You put your book back in your bag, and you get up. Your afternoon classes are quite boring, but now that you know you will see Sicheng tongiht, it does not sound so bad.

"Alright, let's go over the rules one last time," the older woman says as she walks around the house to pick up random things off of the floor. "the kids have to do their homework, take their shower, and be ready to eat by 7 o'clock." you know better than to follow her around, so you hum to let her know that you are listening.

"I trust you to make them something healthy for dinner," she adds, and for the first time in five minutes, she finally stops walking. "you can take whatever you want from the fridge if you are hungry, or thirsty, make yourself at home."

"They are not allowed to watch television, candy either. They have to be in bed by 8:30, and because it is Friday, you can let them read, or play until 9, then you'll put them to bed and turn off the lights." she reads over a list of numbers she hands you. "This is the number of the restaurant, and the emergency numbers if you ever need them, which I hope you won't have to use."

"You can watch the television when the kids are in bed, and if you want to sleep, you can use the guest bedroom next to the downstair bathroom." the woman takes her coat, so you get up from the stool. "You can give one piece of candy per kids coming tonight, and I'll try not to come home too late."

"You need to relax," you say, and the lady takes a deep breath. "this is not the first time looking over the twins, I know what to do, I know the rules, and you can trust me, I'll respect them. Enjoy your date." the older woman puts her hand on your shoulder, and she nods. "I trust you, good evening. Kids, be good with Y/n!"

The two kids agree from the living room where they are playing, and the lady opens the door before disappearing in the car who's been waiting for her for at least ten minutes now. You close the door, and you join the boys in the living room.

"Alright kiddos, it is time to do your homework!" they both whine, because "it's friday, we can do them sunday" but in the end, you succeed, and you watch with a certain pride as they work on their calculus worksheet.

You, and the twins jump when you hear the doorbell, and you turn on your seat. It is probably children trick or treating, and you feel bad for leaving the twins alone, because they are not trick or treating, they are doing their homework, and it is sad, they should be allowed to be outside, in their little costumes instead of doing math.

"I'll be right back." you say as you stand up. You grab the bowl of candy, and you open the door. Three little vampires are watching you expectantly. "Oh my, I almost had a heart attack!" you gasp when they hiss and you try to stay quiet as the young man walking them around the neighborhood looks ready to die of embarrasment.

"Here you go." you drop candy in each of their little basket, and you close the door. Before putting the bowl back near the door, you pick a couple of candy and you put them on the table. "Let's make a deal, if you do not say anything to your mother, I'll let you have these candy."

"Deal!" the twins shout together, and you chuckle as you hand them the candy. "If you finish your math in the next five minutes, you'll have time to take a shower, and watch tv for a little while before dinner."

You know you should listen to the mother's rules, but you want to see them smile. You want them to feel comfortable around you, and how do you get kids' trust? You break one or two rules, and you let them do what they are usually not allowed to do.

Pretty quickly, the math homework are done, and the kids are in the shower. They are old enough to be left alone in the bathroom, you know they won't flood the room, well, at least, you hope they won't. You do not want to have to wipe the floor.

You soon find yourself busy cooking something for the twins that you forget all about Sicheng probably getting ready to meet you, if he did not lost the address like you said he would. At least, it gives you the opportunity to focus on what you are doing, and when the twins are back in their pajamas, the meal is not burnt, which is a victory.

"Veggies?" one of them says with a wince, and you sigh as you put the plates in front of them. "Your mother said to eat something healthy, it's good, trust me." you do not trust yourself on your cooking skills, but you can't say that to the kids or they'll end up spitting the food back into their plates, and thank you but no thank you.

During the meal, you have to stand up a few times to open the door to give candy to the children, and sometimes to college students trying to see if they still can get candy. Spoiler alert: they can.

And before you know it, the kids are in bed, and you are on the couch, all alone in this big house. A horror movie is screening on the television, but you barely watch it, your eyes are stuck on the clock above the doorframe leading to the staircase.

Ten more minutes, you think, smiling to yourself.

10:42 pm.

Sicheng is either late, lost, or could not read the address on his hand after practice. You wonder if you should sleep until the twins's mother comes back from her date, or if you should wait a few more minutes to give Sicheng the benefit of the doubt.

But when then more minutes pass, you stand up.

You grab the almost empty bowl of candy, and you settle it on the kitchen island, and you walk to the front door to make sure it is locked, and you are startled when you see two eyes looking at you through the window, but you heave a sigh of relief when you recognize Sicheng's smile.

"You are late, I shouldn't even let you in." you mumble as you open the door, and the young man takes a step forwards, until he is close enough that his nose almost touches yours. "I am late, you are right, but I am also crazy handsome tonight, so I know you will not leave me hanging in the dark and the cold. he answers, and you hate how right he is.

"What were you doing? Drinking with the boys? Hooking up with a mysterious disguised girl you found in Taeyong's basement?" he shakes his head, and you push yourself away from the door to let him pass. "I did drink a beer with the boys, but there was no mysterious girl in Taeyong's basement, just a rat."

You roll your eyes and you close the door. "We can't make noise, the twins are sleeping, and as much as I love you, their mother pays me well, so I don't want to lose them." you explain, and when you turn, you find yourself pressed against the wooden door. "You are the one who has to stay quiet, not me."

"I'm always quiet." Sicheng scoffs but before you can say anything to defend yourself, he kisses you. The kiss has nothing sweet to it, but you don’t mind one bit.

"Couch." you say after breaking the kiss for air, but Sicheng shakes his head. "We've done it once against the door, never again!" Sicheng seems to remember, and he starts to laugh so you hit him in the chest until he takes a step back.

"There is absolutely nothing funny about it! It was painful!" you mumble, but he thinks otherwise. He falls down on the couch, and before you can join him, the phone rings and you jump. The ringing comes from the kitchen, and it is so loud. It echoes against the walls, so you run to pick up, not wanting to wake up the twins.

"Are you even allowed to answer the phone?" Sicheng asks, shoulder pressed against the doorframe leading to the kitchen. "I don't know, maybe." you let a sigh of relief when the phone stops ringing, and you tense for a second when Sicheng wraps his arms around your waist. "So where were we."

You are about to turn around when the phone rings again, and you pick up right away. "Hello?" the other side of the line is silent, and you wonder if you should hang up, but soon, you hear a heavy breathing that brings shiver down your spine. "Hello? Can I help you? Miss Lee is absent at the moment."

"Have you checked on the kids?" the voice asks, and you frown. "What? Who are you?" feeling Sicheng's breathing against the back of your neck is not helping right now, and you try to shug him off of you. "You should check on the kids."

"But why?" before you can get an answer, the person hangs up. "What the fuck." you whisper, putting the phone back on its set. "What's up?" Sicheng asks, and you shake your head. "I don't know, someone asking me if I checked on the kids."

Sicheng hums, and you turn on your heels to face him. "That's probably a prank, you know, it's Halloween, and teenagers like to scare their neighbors." he is not wrong, you both did this kind of prank when you were still in high school.

"Come on, forget about it." he takes your hand, and he leads you back to the living room. He pushes you gently on the couch, and you settle on your back, Sicheng hovers over you, one leg on the couch, and the other on the floor for stability. His lips are close to yours, and you break the distance by taking his lower lip between your teeth, and he groans a little too loudly.

"I thought we had to be quiet." you say, and he rolls his eyes, his finges wandering underneath your top to feel how warm your skin feels against the coldness of his fingertips. "yeah yeah, whatever." his lips slide along your neck, mouthing at your jaw, and each bite is soothed by his tongue right away.

You close your eyes, trying to lose yourself into the feeling of Sicheng's mouth and fingers, but you can't quite get rid of the feeling in the pit of your stomach. You can't seem to forget about the sound of the breathing on the other side of the phone. Teenagers or not, it was scary.

When Sicheng opens his mouth to speak, you realize that you completely zoned out, and you look up at him. "What?" he sighs, and you feel his fingers against the button of your pants. "Can I?" he asks, and you nod. You definitely need to change your mind, and you know Sicheng's fingers are going to do wonders.

He prompts himself on one hand, and he uses the other to pop open the button of your pants, and to slide the zipper down, way too slowly for your liking. "Come on, don't be a tease." you whisper, and he chuckles. "Eager, aren't we?" little shit.

Sicheng likes to tease, but he decides otherwise tonight, as his hand slides inside of your pants and panties, fingers already through your  folds. "Don't worry, I'll make you feel good." he whispers against your ear, and you bite your lower lip. His voice is so low, you would give everything you have to hear it more often.

(I’m bad at smut, so we’re leaving it at that, sorry.)

"Don't stop, please, I'm- I'm so fucking close." you say, and he tries to move his fingers deeper, but with your pants and panties around your thighs, it is hard for him to move as much as he would like, but he makes do. "Sicheng, Sicheng, Sicheng." you repeat his name, and he smirks. This is the most beautiful song he has ever heard.

You open your eyes wide when Sicheng stops moving, denying you of the orgasm you've been chasing for the past five minutes. "What the fuck?" you exclaim, and you notice how Sicheng's eyes veered towards the front door. "Did you hear?"

"Hear what?" you ask with clear annoyance in your voice, and you feel like crying when he pulls his fingers out and clean them on your pants, which is disgusting. He stands up, not even bothering to help you and he stops in front of the door. "I heard something."

How did he hear anything over your moans? You straighten up, buttoning your pants back and when you feel like your legs are back to normal, no longer shaking and feeling like jelly, you join him. He has his ear against the door, and he puts his index finger against his lip for you to stay quiet.

Once again, the phone rings, and makes you jump. Your heart misses a few beats, and it is honestly ready to jump out of your ribcage. "Do I answer?" you ask, your breathing quickening. "Yes, go." so you do just that. You go back to the kitchen and you pick up the phone.

You hear the heavy breathing right away this time, and even a chuckle when your own breathing hitches in your throat. The voice is masculine, there is no doubt. "Who are you? What do you want?" panic can be heard in your voice, and you do not even bother trying to sound calm.

"Did you check on the kids?" you close your eyes, trying your hardest not to hang up and lock yourself in one of the rooms of the house for the rest of the night. "It's just a prank, nothing more." you tell yourself, and when the man laughs, a real hearthy laugh this time, you realize that you said it out loud.

"Come on, this if your job as a babysitter, making sure the kids are alright. You wouldn't want anything to happen to them, right?" you shake your head even though no one is here to see it. "Check on the kids!" this time the voice is louder, and as cold as the bead of sweat rolling down your back.

"How do you-" before you can ask your question, you hear the beep signaling that the person has hung up. "Sicheng?" you turn around, but the young man is nowhere to be seen. You wander in the living room, and in the bathroom, but he is not here. "Sicheng, where are you?" you ask in a loud whisper, but you get nothing.

A kick on the living room window makes you scream, you cover your eyes with your hands, as if not seeing what happens would make it stop. "Please, please, please." you do not want to fucking die, not here, and not after being denied a fucking orgasm. When a hand lands on your shoulder, you turn and attack without looking at who or where you are hitting.

"Stop, Y/n, it's me!" Sicheng whines, taking a step back. When you open your eyes, you see him holding his stomach. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" he asks, shaking his head. "What? You were gone, and someone knocked on the window, so I got scared!" you say, frantic.

"I was in the restroom and I didn't hear any knock." he answers right away, letting his arms fall back on his sides. "What was the sound you heard?" you ask, tilting your head to the side, you need to know, or you are going to cry on the spot. Well, you are already crying, you can feel tears running down your cheeks.

"Calm down baby, it was nothing, just a loud engine. I'm sorry if I scared you." he takes a step forwards, drying the tears on your face with his thumbs. "Calm down, it's okay." you shake your head, looking around. You came here so many times, and yet, this is the first time you do not feel comfortable in this house.

"This is not okay! Some madman is calling me, asking me to check on the kids, someone knocked on the window, this is not fucking okay!" he takes a deep breath, and he tries to smile, but he realizes that it might not be enough to reassure you. "It's just kids playing a trick on you."

"Well, they need to stop because it's not fucking funny, Halloween or not!" your voice breaks into a sob, and he pulls you against his chest. "Don't worry, if they call back, I'll answer and I'll tell them to stop before I find them and kick their ass, I do not care what age their are, I'll do it."

"Sit down." you sit down on a stool around the kitchen island, and he opens the fridge to pour a glass of water that he hands you. "Take a dreep breath, it's fine, alright?" you nod, sipping on the water. You are honestly surprised none of the kids came down to see what was going on after you screamed.

Wait.

You know the twins, and you know they are light sleepers. They would have woken up by now, you stand up, maybe a little too quickly because you see stars dancing, and Sicheng is quick to be by your side, trying to help you find your balance. "What is going on?" he asks, he sounds genuinely worried this time.

"The kids. There is something wrong with the kids! I screamed, they should be up, they never sleep over loud noises!" Sicheng stops you when you stry to walk to the staircase. "The man on the phone told me to check on them, what if he found a way in, and did something to them and that is why they are not waking up?"

"Come on, don't be silly. They are probably sleeping, they probably did not even hear you scream. This is a prank, Y/n, just a prank!" he sounds angry, and you frown. Sicheng is hard to anger, so it is not normal for him to react so quickly. Well, it is maybe not anger, but it is definitely impatience that you hear.

"Stay here, I'll go check on them if that makes you feel better. I won't wake them up, so they'll never know I was here." he forces you back down on the stool, and in less than twenty seconds, he is gone. You can hear the floor creaking under his weight, and you know when he stops to check the multiple doors.

Of course, of fucking course, now that Sicheng is gone, the phone rings again. You try to ignore it, you really try, but the sound is awful. It is loud, and it hurts your ears, so you have no choice than to stand up and picks up. "What the fuck do you want? The kids are fine! Who are you?"

The man giggles, and you hear nothing else for a minute or so. "Did you check on the kids yourself? Because you definitely should." you can't take it anymore, you have to know. You hang up, and you go up the stairs, you do not mind if you die, you just need to know what the fuck is going on, and who is playing with you.

One thing is sure, if you survive, and find whoever decided to play this little game, you are going to make his life a living hell.

Once you are upstairs, you stop in front of the kids' door. The door is closed, and once again, Sicheng is nowhere to be seen. You really wonder what he is doing, but of couse, you do not think he might have anything to do with what's been going on.

"Come on, you can do it." you push the door open, trying not to make it creaks, because you do not feel like explaining what is going on to two scared kids. The room is dark, but it is quiet. You hear their regular breaths and you could cry ouf ot relief. Sicheng was right, it is nothing but a prank.

You close the door, and start to go down the stairs. Something feels off, you think. You know the feeling of being watched even when you are supposed to be alone? Yeah, that's what you feel right now, but when you look over your shoulder, you see nothing but a long dark hallway. Maybe that's the problem. The constent darkness.

"Fucking hell." you almost trip over your own feet when a scratching sound is heard against one of the walls. You jump the last few steps, and fortunately, you fall back on your feet, but the pain in your ankles is almost too much.

"Have you checked on the kids?"

You turn your head so quick towards the voice that you know you'll be in pain tomorrow, and your eyes meet.."Johnny? What the fuck!" you exclaim, and the man laughs. This is the laugh you heard on the phone, but you did not recognize it with the constant sizzling. He is not alone in the living room, your friends are all there too.

"What?" you turn and see Sicheng halfway down the stairs, smiling like an idiot. "Happy Halloween my love!" you frown, and you let yourself fall on your butt. "You couldn't be there for Halloween, so we decided to bring Halloween to you."

You want to cry, but you also want to beat them. "I hate you all so fucking much. You have no idea how scared I was!" you look up at Sicheng who crouches down in front of you. "Is this why you were late? Is this why you disappeared earlier?" he nods, unable to stop smiling.

"Yeah, I had to open the back door for them." he leans in to kiss your forehead, and you close your eyes at the contact. You should be mad at him right now, but you are too tired for that. That's a problem for future you, and also for future Sicheng. He is going to regret that.

"I hope you had fun, because it is over." you mumble as you stand up. You open the door, head tilted to the side, glancing at your friends one by one. "It is time to go home, you too Sicheng." Sicheng's eyes open so wide it is almost comical. You need to be alone to recover, because you are pretty sure your heart has not beat normally for an hour.

"What? Why?"

"Because I do not want to see you right now!" he nibbles on his lower lip, probably waiting for you to laugh, but you stay still. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you would freak out so much." he tries to explain, but you shake your head. He needs a taste of his own medicine. "I don't care, Sicheng, we'll talk about it later."

If Johnny sees you smile when Sicheng lowers his head, he says nothing about it, he just winks at you. They all get ready to leave the house when the phone rings, and they all stop dead in their tracks. "Oh come on, you are going to wake up the kids at some point, that's not funny."

"That's not us." you heave a long sigh, of course it is one of them. They probably asked another basketball player to help them out, so you walk to the kitchen and you take the phone. "What?" the breathing sounds different this time, and the voice is too. Lower than Johnny's, raspier even. "I think it is time for you to really check on the kids." you roll your eyes. "The kids are fine."

You turn to watch your friends when you hang up, and this time and you see something you have never seen in them: fear.

[deanwasalwaysbi]

Thinking About How This Wasn't Actually a Denial

But was it self preservation?

The year was 2013 and rather than a denial, Jensen said "Don't ruin it for everybody now."

What was the fan 'ruining' for everybody? The Con? or something else? So if I was a tinhatter - and sometimes I am - I might think about other tv shows from the past that were covertly queer and how they handled the question, were TV shows 'out'?

Mainstream shows like Bewitched, you know, shows that are so clearly straight, you can tell because... well. ... they never technically used the word 'gay'. ... witches honor

SPN Film Studies is Back in Session! Join Under the Cut for more on supernatural & the story about how Bewitched! came out of the Broom Closet

Bewitched aired from 1964-72, it's so old the first season was in B&W. The show starred Elizabeth Montgomery as Samantha, the strange housewife with a stranger secret. Her husband, Darrin, unwittingly married into the whole witchy family, from the now drag icon Agnes Moorehead's Endora with her open marriage, to the unmarried and batty Aunt Clara (Marion Lorne who played the mother in Hitchcock's heavily gay coded 'Strangers on a Train'), to the extremely coded Uncle Arthur (gay actor Paul Lynde). (We can't know for sure, but it seems at least 4 members of the cast were gay themselves.) The core premise of the show involves Samantha balancing who she really is with repressing that self for the safety and comfort of her family.

Samantha and her husband keep her [ahem] 'queer' nature a secret which gets harder on Samantha when she has to tell her daughter to live the same way, “I know what fun it is to be a part of the magical life ... to have so much at your fingertips. But we’re living in a world that’s just not ready for people like us, and I’m afraid they may never be. So you’re going to have to learn when you can use your witchcraft and when you can’t.”

There are plenty of generic 60s wacky hijinks but there are also whole episodes metaphorically about repression being harmful, episodes where characters asked if another was a 'thespian', episodes where Darrin was queercoded while under a spell, episodes about representation & bad stereotyping in media, and even two episodes where witches discussed whether it was time for witches to come out to the mortals, (whether mortals could accept that they were just nice normal people trying to live their lives like everybody else - or not - and would just freak out and kill them again).

When it came time to recast Dick York's Darrin with a new 2nd lead, Elizabeth and her husband, William Asher, knowingly cast the gay Dick Sergeant. (Although he wasn't out publicly at the time.) Then, when Sergeant came out in '91, Montgomery supported him and the two served together as the grand marshals of the Hollywood pride parade.

Dick Sargent expressed in the 90s what he would want in a Bewitched reunion episode: for Darrin to meet another like couple, a witch and a mortal who are married, and another, and another, and end up forming a whole community and support group, finding out that it was never so uncommon after all, that it was actually "about 10% of the population." The two would march in the first mortals and witches pride parade, saying they should have come out years ago.

In '94, Montgomery had this to say about the queer themes of the show, “Don't think that didn't enter our minds at the time. We talked about it on the set, that this was about people not being allowed to be what they really are. If you think about it, Bewitched is about repression in general and all the frustration and trouble it can cause. It was a neat message to get across to people at that time in a subtle way.” (x)

Interviewer: Are you concerned that your involvement in the gay-pride parade will lead people to believe you're a lesbian?

"[Laughing] I'm really not worried about that. There are bigger things to worry about. Like the presidential election and finding a cure for AIDS. I did the parade in support of Dick. I mean, in the end, didn't we all?" (x) (Montgomery was also one of the first celebrity allies to fight for LGBTQ rights and support HIV/AIDS-related fundraisers.)

So did they talk about it at the time? No. You can bet they didn't speak about it publicly. What would have happened if a fan, publicly, had asked Elizabeth, William, or Dick about the show's queer allegory content? This was a time when being gay was a literal felony. They would have had to have lied or risked losing the show, their careers, and possibly subjecting themselves to violence.

Now. back to Jensen and the Schrodinger's long con:

This was in 2013 - The same year that the Supreme Court of the United States struck down a federal ban on gay marriage. You certainly couldn't call homosexuality illegal in the US at that time. It's the same year that Dabb and Sgriccia spoke about the Aaron moment on the DVD and whether there's 'this potential for love in all places' for Dean. Of course Jensen said this about the very same scene: "But it was - you know - it was comedy. It was a comedic moment in the show and fortunately Dean gets a lot of the comedic moments in the show and it was just, you know, Ben was poking fun at the fact that - you know, how can we make this very kind of manly, heterosexual guy uncomfortable - uh -you know, or  or have him back on his heels and throw him off his game a little bit.”

I'm reminded of 2012 when Ben Edlund stepped in about a Destiel question at comic con, pretending it was some freaky thing that fans had made up even though he'd already written and directed TMWWBK, which had already aired.

Jensen: “What’s Destiel?” Ben Edlund: That’s some weird shit. Jensen: Is this something that you created, Ben? Ben: You don’t want any part of that.

Or the next year for season 9 when Jensen said “I think the whole Cas and Dean thing has gotten out of hand”  “I don’t think there’s anything secret to their relationship even though a lot of people wish there was” EVEN THOUGH- that season we got the nightstands acknowledgement and Misha (or both of them?) was told to “play him like a jilted lover”

Or Jensen's knowing bromance smile in 2015

I think recent events (cough spn gate) have made clear that the network and many viewers were still uncomfortable with CAS being gay in 2020, deleting even familial mentions of Cas from the finale episodes once he was revealed to be not only gay but also in love with Dean. (x) (x) (x) Can you imagine then what Warner Brothers would have said to an acknowledge bisexual Dean Winchester in 2013? Granted, there was no Trump election, but legitimate, could that have been the end of the show? Or the Russian and Conservative US viewership? Is it possible that Jensen would have feared so?

Is it possible that Jensen had a more personal reason for a knee jerk defensive response?

So was Jensen covering in 2013? Well. This happened 5 years later in 2018:

That hostile "? No." came even though Misha confirmed that he and Jensen had discussed Destiel by that point. Granted, discussing Destiel as a concept and accepting Dean being inherently bisexual are two very different things - Cas is GN after all - still, less than encouraging.

I may never get over the jumps back and forth that Jensen did. At this point I think there's no denying that a lot of SPN's queer content was on purpose, even as writers and actors were telling fans and network execs otherwise. Yet when each person involved was brought in? that question haunts me at night. I have gone off before about the timeline in my pursuit of whether Jensen was Ben Hur'd (x) and, if so, for how long. I'm sure many in this fandom have so much to add.

In the meantime we'll just have to cherish this moment from 2019:

Interviewer: 'So, tell us just a little bit about what you’re most excited to tackle with your character this final season.’ Jensen: “Cas. Just like a full football form tackle.”

Bewitched references in SPN:

2.05 - Dean: Well, it looks like he can't work his mojo just by twitching his nose, he's gotta use verbal commands.

2.20 - Dean says Barbara Eden was hotter than Elizabeth Montgomery - sigh - Dean.

7.05 - Dean thinks a husband has no idea his wife is a witch, and refers to him as Darrin. Dean also indicates he likes the first Darrin better. - (I guess I can't make a comment about how much TV Dean watched as a kid if I get all of his references and also haven't saved the world.)

14.03 - Jules refers to the witch as 'Brunhilde' - this is a minor character in bewitched but more so from mythology and likely referred to the cartoon witch from WB cartoons - the stereotypical witch that faced bugs bunny with the green skin and straw hair.

let me know if you have any to add. Stay Witchy ✌

[calliecat93]

I might as well go ahead and finally talk about Turning Red. Due to my boycott, I didn’t watch the movie until June and at first I wasn’t sure what to think. It wasn’t bad by any means, but it was very different from what I expected. But after a few more views and letting it settle…

OH MY GOSH I LOVE IT!

The animation was great! I freakin’ LOVED the anime and 2D influences. I like the more varied styles Pixar’s starting to use with both Luca and this. The acting was really good. IDK if Mei’s VA has any previous acting experience, but she nailed it! And Sandra Oh as Ming was just a perfect mix of funny, dramatic, and grating. The look into Chinese culture and the Chinese community in Canada was so lovely to see. You can tell that Domee Shi poured all her love of her heritage into the film and it’s beautiful. The fact that this movie got away with some mild cursing and breakin up freakin’ periods and pads made my jaw drop. But I ain’t complaining. It’s near impossible to find children’s media that doscusses female puberty and I wish I’d had this as a kid back when I started. It’s super important to teach.

As far as the story and characters go, all was good! I freakin’ love Mei! I was worried she’d be the standard awkward nerd, but she is so outgoing and has the right mix of awkward but co fidence thay you’d expect from a 13 year old. She’s so relatable especially with her fears and later acceptance of her panda as well as wanting to please her mother but also do things she knows she won’t approve of. It is so insanely relatable. I can see a lot of people hating Ming because yeah she can be condescending, controlling, and has clear anger issues. But I think it’s clear that she does love her daughter and wants what’s best for her and everything she does comes from a good place. Also seeing that she herself is carrying trauma from her own mother and what happened with her panda again shows how much generational trauma can affect people like Coco and Encanto did. Mind needed to learn to let go a d let Mei be her own person. Mei needed to learn to not be afraid to be her true self and let it out and did so by coming to accelt her panda spirit, the first in her family since her ancestors to do so.

I LOVED Miriam, Priya, and Abby. The girls friendship in general is so freakin’ adorable and loving and it’s the kind of pure friendship I love~! I lived hlw the film emphasized that as impkrtant as family is, you also need other bonds and sometimes that support is more necessary than familial. I did not like Tyler however and I don’t think the movie did enough to make me like him by the end. 4-Town absolutely nailed the feel of 90’s/early 2000’s boy bands and their music has been stuck in my head for weeks. Ah, the memories. Also loved Mei’s dad and how quiet but supportive of Mei and Mind he is. These are the kinds of dads we need more of in the media!

It’s gonna be a while before I can rank Turning Red. IDT it’s quite in the Top 10, but it’s close. IDK if I even like it better than Soul or Luca, but it’s again a new Pixar release that I adore. I’m not interested in Lightyear, but I think they’re making a film called Elemental directed by long-time employee Peter Sohn (he also voiced Emilie in Ratatouille and Squsihy in Monsters University). And from the concept art, I am so excited for that one~! But yeah, I loved Turning Red! It was fun, amazing animation, great characters, and as per usual for Pixar a relatable, heartfelt story that hits all the feels. I very much recommend this one~! 4.5/5.

[woman-loving]

I don’t identity as a “bi lesbian,” but I feel there is room for a woman to identify as both bisexual and gay/lesbian, and I don’t agree with the arguments I’ve seen against “bi lesbian” identity.

One thing that annoys me about detractors of the identity is the occasional claim that it is basically an internet phenomenon that arose within the last five years or so. Actually, women have been claiming both bisexual and lesbian identities for decades. There have constantly been debates about how bi women fit within lesbianism, lesbian identity, and lesbian community since the gay/lesbian movements have been active. This isn’t something that has ever been universally agreed upon, and there never will be universal agreement on it.

Just for reference and historical interest, I’ve compiled a few selections from articles and books, mostly from the 80s and 90s, that are by or about lesbian-identified (or gay-identified) bisexual woman, or that at least mention them. Inclusion doesn’t indicate my approval of the author’s perspective or argument; this is to provide a bit of history on the discourse.

What is a Lesbian? To me, a lesbian is a woman-oriented woman; bisexuals can be lesbians. A lesbian does not have to be exclusively woman oriented, she does not have to prove herself in bed, she does not have to hate men, she does not have to be sexually active at all times, she does not have to be a radical feminist. She does not have to like bars, like gay culture, or like being gay. When lesbians degrade other lesbians for not going to bars, not coming out, being bisexual or not sexually active, and so on, we oppress each other.

--Trish Miller, "Bisexuality," Lavender Woman, Vol 2 Issue 5, August 1973.

*

The definition of lesbian that I suggest, one that conforms to the two methodological considerations above, is the following:

5. Lesbian is a woman who has sexual and erotic-emotional ties primarily with women or who sees herself as centrally involved with a community of self-identified lesbians whose sexual and erotic-emotional ties are primarily with women; and who is herself a self-identifed lesbian. 

My definition is a sociopolitical one; that is, it attempts to include in the term lesbian the contemporary sense of lesbianism as connected with a subcultural community, many members of which are opposed to defining themselves as dependent on or subordinate to men. It defines both bisexual and celibate women as lesbians as long as they identify themselves as such and have their primary emotional identification with a community of self-defined lesbians. Furthermore, for reasons I will outline shortly, there was no lesbian community in which to ground a sense of self before the twentieth century, a fact which distinguishes the male homosexual community from the lesbian community. Finally, it is arguable that not until this particular stage in the second wave of the women’s movement and in the lesbian-feminist movement has it been politically feasible to include self-defined lesbian bisexual women into the lesbian community.

Many lesbian feminists may not agree with this inclusion. But it may be argued that to exclude lesbian bisexuals from the community on the grounds that “they give energy to men” is overly defensive at this point. After all, a strong women’s community does not have to operate on a scarcity theory of nurturant energy! On feminist principles the criterion for membership in the community should be a woman’s commitment to giving positive erotic-emotional energy to women. Whether women who give such energy to women can also give energy to individual men (friends, fathers, sons, lovers) is not the community’s concern.

--Ann Ferguson, “Patriarchy, Sexual Identity, and the Sexual Revolution,” Signs, Autumn 1981.

*

Individuals who came together a month ago to discuss bisexuality and its relationship to radical feminism decided recently to begin a serious, regular study group on human sexuality and its social/political/psychological manifestations in our culture.

There are eight of us in the group. For all, understanding bisexuality, both in our own lives and and in our society, is a primary goal. To this end, we decided on a format of readings and discussion, with a facilitator for each meeting, that would bring us through the range of sexual options available in the United States today, from male-identified heterosexuality to lesbianism, to a final informed examination of bisexuality in the context of all that we had learned. Throughout our exploration, feminism will provide both a point of departure, and a point of return.

We started by trying to define some terms, specifically "feminism," "gay-identified bisexual," and "bisexual". Alot of us were amazed to see how many different interpretations each term, especially "gay-identified," could have. Is someone "gay-identified" because they devote a majority of their time, energy and emotion to the gay community? Or does an individual's radical critique of heterosexuality make them "gay-identified"? And does "gay-identified" also imply "women-identified"? Some people felt that one could be gay-identified, and still not be woman-identified. And exactly how many Meg Christian concerts make you "lesbian-identified"?

We didn't reach any conclusions, but had fun realizing that being bisexuals, we are dealing with a whole realm of experiences that can be classified in any number of different ways; and that the variety of possible bisexual lifestyles is as varied as the women who are in the Network.

--Barb H, “Study Group,” BBWN, Vol. 2 No. 4, July-Aug 1984

*

I recognize that homophobia is at the root of biphobia. I came to lesbianism long before my sexuality was clear to me. I lived an open lesbian lifestyle for four years. I cannot deny the importance of this experience, nor do I want to. For me lesbian identity is more than, and/or in addition to sexuality; it is a political awareness which bisexuality doesn't altar or detract from. 10 years ago when I left my husband and full-time role of motherhood, it didn't make me less conscious of what being a mother means. In fact, it gave me a deeper understanding. I am still a mother. That experience cannot be taken away from me. In much the same way, my lesbian awareness isn't lost now that I claim my bisexuality. When I realized my woman-loving-woman feelings, and came out as a lesbian, I had no heterosexual privilege; yet there were important males in my life, including a son. I am bisexual because it's real for me, not in order to acquire or flaunt the privilege that is inherent in being with men. My political consciousness is lesbian but my lifestyle is bisexual. If I keep myself quiet for another's sense of pride and liberation, it is at the cost of my own which isn't healthy--emotionally, politically or medically. Not only is it unhealthy, it's ineffective.

Since I have come out I have triggered many lesbians to blurt in whispered confidence--"I have a man in the closet. You're brave to be so open. What am I going to do?" These are not easy times. AIDS has given biphobia free reign in the lesbian community (and admittedly with much less destructive effect than how AIDS is fueling homophobia in society at large), it is all right to trash bisexuals, not to trust us for fear of AIDS. Bisexuals are untouchable to some lesbians.

We have to deal with oppression in a constructive way or we will be factionalized forever. Time is running out. We have to see the whole and the part we play in it. Forming family communities with people who share your sexual identity is important, but trashing is nonproductive. The sexual choices we make are equally valid for our individual experiences. AIDS is not a gay disease; it is a human tragedy, a plague that doesn't recognize boundaries. I urge bisexuals to take a political stand, and to become a visible, viable energy force. It is important and timely to open this dialogue in each of our communities. Nobody belongs in the closet. The only way to get a sense of "our" community is for us to begin to speak out and identify ourselves. When we verify the connections and the networks of our oppression, we build a unity that avoids the, "I'm more oppressed than you" syndrome

--Lani Kaahumanu, “Bisexuality & Discrimination,” BBWN Vol. 3, No. 6, Dec 1985-Jan 1986; Reprinted from the 1985 Gay Pride March magazine, San Francisco

*

What makes the Third Annual Northeast Conference on Bisexuality what it is? The breakfasts and dinners--the entertainment--the excitement of meeting others who feel like family. My first event of the conference was stumbling onto a cocktail party just around the corner from the Registration Desk, which turned out to be part of the Woman's History Week! A bit embarrassing after greeting many people with wine glasses in hand, asking them how they heard about the bisexuality conference!

I'll skip now to describe my experiences at the lesbian-identified affinity group and the two workshops I attended. Why do women who identify as lesbians go to a bisexuality conference? There were about 10 of us in the room, each with a different answer. Most of our relationships at the present time were with women; after that the similarity ended. One woman had affairs with men when not seriously involved with women. Another, in a non-monogamous long-term lesbian relationship, had recently begun a sexual involvement with a man. one woman, now involved with a bisexual woman, was here to discuss her feelings about the situation. Some of us had led exclusively lesbian lives for a number of years and were wondering if we'd closed off important parts of ourselves. Whether or not we would act on our sexual attractions for men, acknowledging them were important to us.

Our personal herstories contributed to our diverse opinions. For some, coming out was relaxed and easy and relationships with women refreshingly egalitarian. Others found sexual awakening and coming out difficult, and lesbian relationships fraught with many of the same difficulties as straight ones. We also discussed reasons lesbians don't accept bisexual women, such as fear that she'd leave for a man or desire to preserved woman-only space. We questioned the reality of "heterosexual privilege," wondering whether any women could really have it. We discussed the sorrows in our lives, such as family histories of alcoholism, incest or physical abuse, and the joys of our relationships, our work and our lives.

--Stacie, “Lesbian-identified Affinity Group Workshops: Lesbian Sexuality & Politics of Sexuality,” BBWN, Vol. 4, No. 2, April-May 1986

*

[Robyn Ochs]: What is your current sexual identity?

[Betty Aubut]: I call myself a "bisexual lesbian." I will always politically identify as bisexual, which to me means opposing restrictive categories. Some days I feel real separatist, and other days I feel that I want to be involved with men. Being bisexual to me means that I see men and women whom I'm attracted to. A man would have to be very special for me to want to get involved with him but I will fight for bisexual rights whether or not I'm sleeping with men. I see the bisexual community and movement as a very important bridge between gays, lesbian and straights. As long as gays and lesbians are considered completely 'other' from the mainstream, we'll never have any power. I consider myself gay. I think bisexuals are gay and gay liberation is our liberation. I don't consider myself 100% straight and 100% gay; I am 100% gay. That doesn't mean I won't sleep with a man every now and then--some lesbians do that. I never used to identify as lesbian out of respect for women who made the lifelong choice never to sleep with men, but then I realized that was a lot of bullshit. Calling yourself lesbian does not necessarily mean you have made that lifelong decision. Now I mostly identify as a lesbian--so I call myself a bisexual lesbian. I don't sleep with men right now, but I have male friends whom I spend time with and cuddle with. I've even become socially involved with some of the men from the men's network. I'm proud of where I am now because it's been so hard for me. People who have known me for a long time can't believe the change.

--Robyn Ochs, “Bi of the Month: Betty Aubut,” Bi Women Vol. 5, No. 2, April-May, 1987

*

Sharon Sumpter is a bisexual lesbian activist and psychotherapist who works with women survivors of abuse, institutionalization and sexual oppression. Her book-in-progress, In Pieces, is dedicated to opening the closet doors for former "mental patients." "I went into my work to undo the criminal things that were done to me and that I saw done to other women." She thanks Deena Metzger and Asherah for this, her first published work.

--Contributors' Notes, Sinister Wisdom, Issue 36, Winter 1988/89

*

Representatives of lesbian-feminist separatism may feel singled out as special targets of our anger and distress. To the extent that this is true, the seeds of anger lie in lesbian separatism as a politic: In this reading of feminism, specific sex acts take on politicized meaning. These are said to have consequences for the consciousness of the person performing them. Lesbian feminism is arguably the most proscriptive gay or lesbian politic, generating in its adherents the greatest tendency to judge others' (especially sexual) behavior. Gay men, for example, seem more likely to cite personal antipathy or simple stereotypes about bisexuals as a source of their chagrin. A great many bisexual women, particularly those who are feminist and lesbian-identified, have felt both personally and politically rejected and judged by the separatist sisters. Even those with no such experience may feel wary having heard of other bisexual women's stories. No one like to feel attacked, even politically.

----Carol A. Queen, "Strangers at Home: Bisexuals in the queer movement," Out/Look, Vol. 4, Issue 4 (16), Spring 1992

*

Closer to Home successfully deals with these and other problems of self-identification. As most of the writers are "lesbian-identified bisexuals" (one of several labels used for the sake of convenience), the definition of lesbianism is also reevaluated. Is a lesbian a woman who relates emotionally and erotically with women or a woman who does not relate emotionally and erotically with men? Must a woman fit both criteria to be considered a lesbian?

The "Principles and Practice" section expands these main course theories of identity with side dishes of memories and personal feelings--feelings of not being queer enough; of breaking all the rules, even the gay rules; of being dissatisfied with the waste of energy from political infighting. It's odd for lesbian-identified bi's to find themselves viewed as politically incorrect. It's maddening to have one's past feminist work invalidated by the inclusion of a man (or men) in one's life. It's frustrating to find oneself faced with a choice of being honest or potentially losing support of women's groups. It's confusing to work for the freedom to come out of one closet only to be asked to stay in another. As Rebecca Shuster write:

"If we choose a lesbian identity, we are subject to systematic oppression and internalize that oppression in a package that includes marginality; invisibility; isolation...; and countercultural rules about how to relate to women and men. If we choose a bisexual identity, we are subject to systematic oppression and internalize that oppression in a package deal that include a feeling of not belonging or having a home; defensiveness; isolation...; and countercultural rules about how to relate to women and men. Precisely because bisexuality represents freedom of choice, society ensures that the identity comes with its own package of mistreatment and constraints."

----Beth Herrick, "Bisexual Women Pushing the Limits," Sojourner, Vol. 18, Issue 10, June 1993

*

The first step is to move toward building alliances within our bisexual communities. Many communities are united by a commonality of the oppression. This is not so in our community, partly because of the different ways people identify as bisexual: gay-identified, queer-identified, lesbian-identified, or heterosexual-identified. Some people are bisexual in an affectional manner only; some are bisexual both affectionally and sexually; and some are bisexual only sexually. Since there are so many ways to express our bisexuality, the first step toward alliance-building is to work internally to accept all members of our own community. It is imperative that we build alliances across our own differences; otherwise, alliance-building will fail. Acceptance of the diversity of bisexual labels within our community will allow us to pursue alliance-building with decisive strength in the heterosexual community and what many of us consider our own lesbian/gay community.[3]

--Brenda Blasingame, "Power and Privilege Beyond the Invisible Fence, in  Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries, and Visions, 1995

*

Personally, I am unable to separate out the various ways that I am oppressed (as a woman, as an African American, as a bisexual lesbian, as an impoverished single mother) and say that one oppression is worse than the other, or that I desire one form of liberation more than another. I do not want to experience threats to my life, my child custody, or my job security because of racism or homophobia. I don't want to be oppressed for any reason!!!

--Dajenya, "Which Part of Me Deserves to Be Free?," in Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries, & Visions, ed. Naomi Tucker, 1995

*

A good deal of criticism has been written about heterosexuals who are surprised when they find out the true sexual orientation of someone who they didn't think "looked gay." These criticism assert what is of course true--that there is no such thing as a gay or lesbian "look," since of course, everyone who is gay, lesbian or bisexual, looks that way.

Unfortunately, many of my experiences as a lesbian-identified bisexual woman have said to me that having an appearance or demeanor that diverges from the expected means I will not be accepted as truly belonging in the lesbian community. Despite my attendance at gay pride parade, dollars spent at gay resorts and in support of gay causes, and numerous attempts to participate in gay and/or lesbian groups and volunteer events, I have often felt unaccepted by this community.

--Amy Wyeth, "Don't Assume Anything," Bi Women Vol. 13, No. 4, Aug/Sept 1995

*

Joan Tollifson relays her struggle to make sense of her life and her spiritual awakening in Bare-Bones Meditation. Born with only one hand, she grew up feeling different, found identity and purpose as a bisexual lesbian and a disability rights activist, but struggled with drug and alcohol addiction. She first embraced Zen Buddhism then a very bare-bones form of spirituality that has no form. This exuberant and amazing testament is for the many people who don't fit into the conventional molds of existing religious traditions.

--"And on Publisher's Row," complied by Jenn Tust, Feminist Bookstore News, Vol. 19, Issue 4, Nov-Dec 1996

[greensparty]

Stuff I’m Looking Forward to in April

Last month I had a death in the family and have scaled back on this blog. I’m slowly getting back into my usual obsessions with pop culture, but I didn’t want to ignore this column. Since I began this blog, at the start of each month I write about the things in the month ahead I am looking forward to (an album release, movie release, film festival, etc). Now more than ever, I need to have things to look forward to and get excited about. In addition to April Fools Day (April 1), Ramadan (April 1 to May 1), Palm Sunday (April 10), Passover (April 15 to April 23), Good Friday (April 15), Easter (April 17), Tax Day (April 18), Patriot’s Day (April 18), Earth Day (April 22), Orthodox Easter (April 24), Armenian Genocide Day (April 24), Administrative Professionals Day (April 27) and Holocaust Remembrance Day (April 28), as well as the Grammy Awards (April 3), here is what’s on my radar this month:

Movies:

Apollo 10½: A Space Age Childhood

A Richard Linklater movie is always a high priority for me and this one is the same type of animated rotoscoping that he did on Waking Life and A Scanner Darkly. Premieres 4/1 on Netflix.

The Bubble

Judd Apatow’s new one is about a group of actors filming a movie in a pandemic bubble. Sounds intriguing. Premieres 4/1 on Netflix.

The Northman

I loved Robert Eggers’ feature debut The Witch and I dug the follow up The Lighthouse. His new one is a viking adventure. Opens 4/22.

TV:

Better Call Saul (AMC)

The Breaking Bad prequel about lawyer Jimmy McGill slowly becoming Saul Goodman has slowly become just as good and in many ways better than Breaking Bad. I named the last season my #1 TV Show of 2020. Season 6 premieres April 18 on AMC.

Barry (HBO)

Bill Hader’s crime comedy is actually one of the most original shows in recent years. Season 3 premieres on April 24.

Music:

Red Hot Chili Peppers Unlimited Love

I used to love RHCP, especially their 80s and 90s work. The last decade I wasn’t that into the albums they did with guitarist Josh Klinghoffer. He’s a great guitarist, but it always feels like anyone playing guitar in RHCP who isn’t John Fusciante is just a place-holder of sorts. Now Fusciante is back for his first album in over 15 years. Album drops 4/1.

The Linda Lindas Growing Up

After the all-girl teen punk band became a viral sensation last year, I picked up their 2020 self-titled EP. I even named “Oh!” one of my Best Songs of 2021. So looking forward to their full-length debut album dropping on 4/8.

Jack White Fear of the Dawn

A Jack White album (solo, The White Stripes, The Raconteurs, The Dead Weather, etc) is always a big deal. This is the first of two 2022 releases from him. This album drops on 4/8.

Film Festivals:

Independent Film Festival Boston 

My favorite film festival (I am an alum) is IFFBoston! There was no festival in 2020, but they returned virtually in 2021. This year, they are returning in-person from April 27 to May 4.

Fake Holidays:

Record Store Day 

Possibly my favorite fake holiday is the day we celebrate independent record stores. Some of the special releases for this year’s RSD that I’m looking forward to include Foo Fighter’s “Making a Fire” 7″ single, Kirk Hammett’s debut solo EP Portals, Paul McCartney and St. Vincent’s “Women and Wives” single, Prince’s The Gold Experience reissue, and The Royal Tenenbaums soundtrack reissue. RSD is April 23!

[lizacstuff]

SCK episode 46 asks!

Hi folks, below the read more you'll find a smattering of asks about this week's episode as well as a few spoilers for 47.

Good asks this week:

(under the cut)

Anonymous asked: this may be superficial of me, but why are they dressing Serkan in such ugly tops? they finally brought Eda's hair back but now this

BWAH! You're not wrong. You know what I'm wondering, if they've put him in some of those outfits because they are showing his suburban dad side? It's kind of a subtle nod to him embracing father hood and a different way of life? He's now all about running around the yard after his daughter and not about what he looks like when he's being SERKAN BOLAT, FAMOUS BUSINESS MAN and WORLD'S BEST ARCHITECT.

Also, Eda's hair, thank goodness they let that go once the flashbacks were over and we didn't need something to distinguish between then and now! Those curly bangs were not it.

Anonymous asked: They built up the Edser chemistry soooooo well throughout the episode... for that ending? Who decided to cut it there?! The scene was BEAUTIFUL I’m actually upset lol. are not we going to see any more? I’m not asking for a sex scene, I wanted to see THE moment they decided to get back together (the tattoo line doesn’t do it for me) - a few words, tears as they embrace, him walking through the door as she closes it, one passionate kiss, something! But it doesn’t feel like a cliffhanger that continues next week. I’ll be so underwhelmed when they cut to the morning after and we have to infer that they got back together overnight *sigh* if they were allowed 1 kiss only, id rather it have been here instead of ep 2

We do deserve to see how they reconcile, that should be one of the biggest moments of the season after 7 episodes of build up to it.

90% of final scenes in this show have continued uninterrupted the next week. To me there's no reason to think the next episode won't pick up right where this one left off. Crossing fingers!

Anonymous asked: It just hit me that Serkan is the “Kiraz” for Kemal - but Kemal actually missed his child’s whole 35 years 😬 this is an interesting turn of events. Also that line Serkan said about how fathers should love their child’s mother and how he didn’t have that with his own parents....but his real dad does love Aydan, more than she deserves haha.

Oh so true! Kemal really does love his mother more than she deserves! How he puts up with her, I don't know.

The parallel between Serkan/Kemal and Kiraz/Serkan is strong and I hope it gives Serkan some perspective when he starts grappling with this knowledge. I'm sure it's going to be very disconcerting for him, because while he expected to never see his father again, Alptekin is still his father. He's still the man who raised him and formed him into the man he is. Serkan still runs the company he founded and bears his name.

I don't expect any of that to change, but hopefully he can forge a separate relationship with Kemal that might fill some emotional holes that he has and bring him some peace.

None of that even contemplates how Kemal will feel, thankfully Aydan didn't willfully hide the truth from him. How awful to realize you lost 35 years.

We aren't there yet, but I wonder at what age with Kiraz learn the truth, that her dad is not an astronaut, that her parents went through hell with with cancer and plane crashes, and that her father didn't know of her existence until right before they met?

Just something to think about.

Anonymous asked: i'm so happy for hanker, don't get me wrong, and i'm also so happy we get "together" edser for so many episodes until the end, but i'm already tired of the constant "hanker improvising" comments i know i will be seeing. not that they don't improvise in some scenes, but i just know that every romantic edser scene is gonna be analyzed to hell bc ppl want to look for hanker in them. like there's no possible way that ayse, the writer ppl hate the most, could write any romantic scenes.. nope no way!

Yes, this is one of my pet peeves, I can't stand the "Edser left the chat" and all the "that's Hanker, not Edser" type conversation. it's so invasive and most of all disrespectful to not only the writers, but Hande and Kerem and all the work they pour into bringing Eda and Serkan to life.

One of the things in fandom that sets my teeth on edge is when folks take some interpretation of the character by the actor and then decide because it wasn't "scripted" (pro tip the vast majority of physical movements the actors make are "unscripted") that it must just be the actors themselves and have nothing to do with the characters. What an embarrassing and naïve assertion. Actors literal job is to take what's on the page and then translate that. So, no, OF COURSE, every look and touch is not scripted. The actors interpret how their characters would think and feel, and what they would do in given moments and then do those things.

Eda is not touching Serkan's arm just because Hande can't hold herself back from touching Kerem. Puh-lease, they are professionals. Grow up.

However, having said all that, I do think there was one scene that seemed to be very improvised this episode. The bean scene in the grocery store did feel like them just eFFing around. LOL.

andhewonherheart asked: @andhewonherheart: SCK promo department is best and worst all at the same time, cause giving away the last (cliffhanger) scene in fragman is just cruel. But based on the next week’s fragman thing happens that we we think happens *wink*

Hee! So true. The thing I'm grateful for is that in season 2 not one fragman has made me dread the episode, I think there was at least one fragman an episode from 29-37 that was hella upsetting.

As far as I'm concerned these fragmans are doing there job, making me want to watch.

I am really excited for Serkan planning how he's going to ask Eda to marry him, I wonder what Kiraz's reaction is going to be. So far she's been their very own cupid!

Anonymous asked: I didn't find it surprising that Serkan removed his tattoo as soon as Eda left. His logic is always out of sight out of mind though it doesn't work. He did the same when he broke up with her when he found out about the death of her parents. He removed all of her belongings. But their memories are too strong and enough for him to continue to remember her.

Truth! Will he ever learn that it's never going to work? He'll never be able to erase Eda, she has left an indelible mark on his soul. Let's hope he's never faced with that situation again! From here on out, he and Eda are together, a unit, and will live a long life together and in love.

Anyone have any guesses where Eda's tattoo is? Will we find out or will it remain between the characters.

Anonymous asked: I've seen some people say that Edser are getting married now way too fast and to that I just have to laugh lol. First there were complaints we don't have happy Edser and now when we do, of course there's something else. These two have had a rollercoaster of a year when they first met and a five year separation.. they've been through the dating phase, the engaged phase.. of course they'll head straight to the altar! It's not like Eda's plane proposal and that first wedding wasn't rushed either!

I'm on team head straight to the alter! No more waiting. They've had terrible luck, so they just need to tie the knot and make sure there are no easy outs.

As for people who think it's too fast, they don't even know the storyline yet, I swear there are folks who complain just because that's their personality and they're never satisfied.

Anonymous asked: From some of the spoilers of BTS pics, and the fragman we got, I was just reflecting on this season and Turk romcom dizis in general and I just wanted to say how LUCKY we are to see Edser married (again, from spoilers) and with a kid on screen for more than just 10 minute at the end of the finale. Like, it is really rare and as much as people have nitpicked on this season in general, I feel like watching these last episodes have been such a breeze after the last arc of S1.

Oh agreed, I think these episodes have been very enjoyable. The writers are giving me exactly what I want from this show. Comedy, UST, romance with a little light angst thrown in now and again. I would rewatch this season a dozen times before even thinking about watching anything from the 30s.

We are very lucky that we've got to see them as parents, and actually forming their family. We've gotten so much domestic goodness so far and we still have a ways to go. I'm very appreciative of this season and that Ayse came back, got rid of the constant ridiculous melodrama for melodrama's-sake and is telling a very human story about family and love persevering.

Anonymous asked: the last scene gave me chills for some reason. you could actually see eda fighting her head and her heart and deciding to take the step (metaphorically and physically!) towards him for good. i wanna SUE whoever decided to end it the ep there though.. it was actually cruel. also looking at the next frag.. it makes my heart soft that in the flashbacks we see serkan pushing off their wedding bc of his fears and now he can't propose and get married fast enough.. can't believe we're really getting it

I know, it's almost surreal at this point. Since we're near the end we know it's for real and won't be ruined by psychos or awful family members or terminal illness. I just hope that they give us an emotional scene when they get married, whether its just them or the whole cast is there as guests, after everything they've (we've) been through we need to see them both feeling that moment and reveling in it.

FYI - I'm out of town next weekend, so I may be slower than usual in replying to asks and in posting gifs of 47, but I'll get to it all eventually!

[big-meows]

I posted 2,684 times in 2021

272 posts created (10%)

2412 posts reblogged (90%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 8.9 posts.

I added 787 tags in 2021

#luca - 280 posts

#outer wilds - 88 posts

#fandom - 87 posts

#cats are the priority - 85 posts

#food - 72 posts

#infinity train - 56 posts

#morality - 37 posts

#soup draws - 32 posts

#in defense of fanfiction - 32 posts

#yeah - 18 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#sad is real but i wonder how much we'd really feel it if we were allowed to curl up and hibernate through the short days as nature intended

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

First viewing: I wish this had been longer, the 'dad' bombshell felt sudden and unearned, maybe

Tenth viewing: Actually, Alberto slipping up and calling a man he continually disappoints, cant connect with, and who barely even speaks to him 'Dad' is perfect and kind of fucking tragic.

315 notes • Posted 2021-11-12 22:45:06 GMT

#4

Luca's VO: Miss you!

Luca's actual letter: I miss you SO MUCH!

Me, licking my fingertips to pick up the crumbs: Kenna, thank you for the meal, queen

675 notes • Posted 2021-11-12 19:25:46 GMT

#3

2021 is the year of revisiting old fandoms and this is not a goof. We are relearning to love the shit some joyless cretin convinced us was overhyped and cringey.

778 notes • Posted 2021-01-11 03:42:18 GMT

#2

What he says: "Am I fired?"

What he means: "Are you going to reject me too?"

1122 notes • Posted 2021-11-12 12:52:03 GMT

#1

luca can be read as a queer coming of age story without necessarily being a romance between the two boys and thats...fine actually, because the meat of the story really is that meeting each other was the catalyst they both needed for finding acceptance and moving forward. Through Alberto, Luca gets to grow beyond his safe, sleepy farming village and indulge his curiosity and learn about the world; through Luca, Alberto finds a home and a family; this is ultimately what these two characters needed most at that moment in time, and to have those things it means they don't get to occupy the same space at the same time for a while, and to that end I GUESS I can agree with casarosa and his "this is a time before girlfriends and boyfriends" take because like....okay, they ARE kids, I dont actually expect the end of this story to be a "they kiss and ride off into the sunset on their janky vespa to live happily ever after" situation.

but like? Alberto was in love with Luca. You cannot take this from me. I dont know that Luca was quite there yet himself because he sure did experience a whole lot of new stimuli awfully quickly and he kind of gravitates to whichever new person in his life seems to have the most to offer his hungry little brain (Alberto first, then Giulia) so I think it's reasonable to suggest the idea isn't really on his plate yet. You COULD argue that Alberto's doing the same in clinging to Luca as his first "human" contact since his dad left and that Luca gravitating toward Giulia is just triggering his fear of abandonment but I don't...really feel like taking an impressionable, excitable kid under your wing fills the same need as finding a new father figure, i don't know that you could convince me that that's what's happening there. I think that he has a crush on Luca, and is working overtime to impress him, and Luca is not really in that headspace quite yet or if he is, doesn't realize it, and isn't registering how frustrated Alberto is with Giulia entering their sphere because to Luca, Giulia is "more friends!" and to Alberto, Giulia is "competition for Luca's attention."

It could have been so easy for Alberto to become a jealous antagonist, but really so much of what he does, however clumsily or misguided, he does for Luca. He could have outed Luca, but he doesn't. He outs himself. we talk about how hard he works to ensure Luca gets to go to school even though it means they wont be together anymore and it means giving up on his own dreams, which is...fucking devastating dude. Holy shit, this kid is a romantic. but also he really was laying his whole life on the line during the race when he tells Luca you're still okay. Ercole and the other townsfolk would have happily murdered him in the street, and he runs right into it, so that Luca could stay hidden and safe. Luca didnt come to his defense last time, he doesnt actually know if he will this time, but he does it anyway. Jesus christ dude.This boy.

So like. Was it a romance? Debatable. Was it a love story? absolutely. Was it good that they focused on fulfilling their immediate emotional needs instead of riding off into the sunset together? Yeah, sure, they're kids and they have so much growing to do. Should they ride off into the sunset together in a few years when they're a little more grown up and well adjusted? i mean obviously.

1180 notes • Posted 2021-07-04 02:15:06 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 4 "Haunted House" (Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)

A girl died in this tub.

There's no record of any of these names except for one.

Oh, my god, there's two of them!

I own Halloween. It's my jam.

Halloween is the most important day of the year. It's the one day on the Gregorian calendar where you're allowed to go around terrifying children and not be branded a psychopath.

I am a future network news anchor who's super classy and has almost no fat on her body.

A lot of my fans are, like, friendless dumpy coeds at this or that nursing school in one of this country's various national armpits.

They put down their hot pockets and bask in the warm glow of what it feels like to love me.

I went shopping with my comatose grandmother's credit card and bought presents.

Oh, my god, it says my name!

I hope the severed leg brightens up your trailer park.

You're a bright light in my life, and I wanted you to know how much you impress me with your frumpy spirit.

You are so devastatingly mediocre and adorable!

I can't wait to see you in person, but before that, I'd like to see you post this all over social media, to exploit it for my own gain.

Aah! It's a rotting jack-o'-lantern!

Aah! This box is just filled with blood!

She got me a razor apple!

I stole this cadaver head from an ophthalmology student just for you.

You're the most important person in the world.

So you didn't see anyone in a red devil costume entering or leaving the house?

Are you coming to the precinct pig roast this year?

Come on, she's obviously the killer!

Do you mean to suggest I changed out of my nightgown, strapped myself into a skintight pleather red devil costume, climbed out a second-story dormer, and shimmied to the ground with a chain saw before entering a window I had left open, tried to kill you, then leapt out the window, climbed back up the wall, changed back into my nightgown,

and raced downstairs, all in the course of about 90 seconds?

Clearly that's got you a little freaked out.

I'm not gonna hold any of this against you, and I'm gonna let you be my date for the faculty Halloween party.

Attempted murder!

A guy was almost killed tonight, okay?

Now, no, I'm not a detective, hell, I ain't even a cop, but what I am is somebody who watched every one of those Cosby mysteries, okay?

See? Dismemberment!

I am so sorry that I pushed you out of my car and drove off real scared.

I just can't believe that How To Lose A Guy In 10 days is your favorite movie, too.

In precisely two and half minutes when we go in there, you let me do all the talking.

What are you dressed as?

Oh, you have a squirrel. Don't see that much anymore.

Breakfast is almost ready, we got meat today.

What can you tell us about that night?

Now, we will keep your name out of it, of course.

'm a vault,

And to get in this vault you need a key. Now, you may ask, a key to what? It's a key to meaning. Once you've found the meaning, you don't need the words. You know what I'm saying?

Please, continue with your story.

Have any of you ever heard of "negligent homicide"?

We need to dispose of this body on our own. Now, I've got everything we need in the kitchen to make sausages out of her.

I'm gonna go downstairs, shut this party down, and then we'll get the body out of here.

Somebody has to watch after the baby.

Can you at least turn on the radio?

Just leave the details to me.

We can't just act like this never happened.

She's the devil, that one.

I looked at that baby up close. I know my peas and carrots. That baby was a girl.

Your support doesn't matter.

My campaign needs a theme?

My pumpkin's drunk.

I'm hosting a haunted house to raise money for sickle cell anemia.

Why are you holding a fund-raiser, though?

I don't think you understand the magnitude of the miscalculation you just made.

I can assure you you will not be winning an election anytime soon. And when you lose, I am gonna make it my lifelong passion to destroy your reputation.

You're a stuck-up little sociopath, and everybody in this room knows it.

It might behoove you to recall that everyone here witnessed you actually murder someone

Just sharpening knives.

Put the knives down.

I don't know what came over me.

How very adolescent of you to think of this.

It vaguely smacks of something my six-year-old sister would be excited about.

It's the most disgusting disease in the history of mankind.

You get it when you don't even understand the most basic tenets of oral hygiene.

Just give the dang thing its pot of gold already!

I ain't got no candy!

Bet you're a sexy dirt-covered girl. That's what I bet you are.

Sometimes I come out here and I just rub my hands on the gravestones.

I get you more than anyone.

I also find the thought of dead bodies extremely arousing.

I just don't understand why I have all these dark feelings.

You know, I just think our generation's had it too easy, you know? We haven't seen enough horrible stuff. There's no awesome diseases randomly killing people. There's not really any awesome wars to go off to and witness horrific things you can't unsee. We, like, pulled out of all of 'em.

Sometimes I just don't even feel like I'm living, you know?

The only time I feel anything is when I'm thinking about chopping up a body.

And here you are, saddled up with an uptight girlfriend who freaked out for no other reason than the fact that you just wanted to fantasize about having sex with her lifeless corpse.

Oh, my god, I got a total chub right now.

Not scary enough.

She'll let you in the back door.

What could be scarier for an adult than a child coming to murder them?

Isn't that all of our greatest fear? That the pain, the regrets, the mistakes of our youth will destroy us in our adulthood? That we can't escape our inner child. One we would rather forget, but who, at the end of the day has all the power.

Why are you lying to me?

Something does not make sense.

You got to give me more here, okay?

I don't understand what you're getting at.

Are you on bath salts?

Why are we even here?

This house is haunted.

There's a legend in this neighborhood about a woman who wailed about her dead children. And this was the house she lived in.

These dumb ol' kids are smoking crack.

I think it's incredible what you can find out with just a quick trip down to your local library.

This can be one of the rooms for the haunted house.

What exactly do you plan on doing at this haunted house?

I was thinking we could blindfold folks and make 'em put their hands in a bowl full of grapes we peeled, so it'll feel like eyeballs.

I think the reason you want to have a haunted house party is 'cause a haunted party is like a buffet for murderers.

Yeah, yeah, you can just go around killing anybody you want and ain't nobody even gonna even notice.

Just like you chopped the arms off that dumb-ass golf guy.

Why do you have it out for me?

So now you look at me and see everything you could've been.

I hope you have a good time at you haunted party and get to murder lots of folks.

You have this way too thought out.

Isn't this kind of nice?

My sense of personal identity is completely external.

I really don't have much to offer.

I've found that my particular style of speaking and gesticulation is extremely off-putting to most boys. And girls. And anyone.

I need to eat. My blood sugar is crashing.

I'm tired of depriving myself of joy and sustenance.

I may die at the end of a serial killer's blade, but I refuse to die hungry.

Which one of you ladies would like to be my costume for Halloween? I'm going as "dude having awesome sex with you."

I mean, what in the hell's wrong with the world where a guy can't even whistle at a chick just to tell her she looks hot?

I recently took a women's studies class. Yes, because it was a requirement, but I learned a lot anyways. Like the culture that says it's okay for a man to objectify a woman for her appearance is the same culture that pressures girls as young as ten to have eating disorders.

So you're basically saying I'm the one responsible for making you look hot?

When you treat us like meat, you're no better than him!

I'm not really sure how you got my number, but I like how you took the initiative and texted me where you wanted us to meet.

Do you think you're man enough to take me inside that house and attack my crack?

I'll sure this house has an amazingly romantic basement.

Hey, so, uh, a little awkward since we're about to bone down and everything, but, um, what's your name?

Smells like roadkill.

I've never been so scared in my whole life.

All right, if we go to the police, they're gonna see I'm still rocking a mad sidepipe, and they're gonna think I had something to do with it.

We have to warn people.

All right, everybody listen up! All of your lives are in danger!

There are dead bodies! Dead bodies. Real-life dead bodies.

Did you say dead bodies?

Those are like the most lifelike dead bodies I've ever seen.

Is that a real dead body?

There are five dead bodies in that house. Laid out in horrible and deliberate macabre poses.

You are not leaving this house tonight.

You make it harder and harder to believe that you're not the killer.

I found out something really interesting, and now I have a theory.

Everything is weird about that story.

I mean, it's too big a coincidence.

We have to figure out who that woman was.

[ofblair]

welcome aboard, blair reinhart, student #38. we are excited to set sail with you !  has anyone told you that you look like halston sage? according to our records, you hail from san diego, usa, prefer she/her pronouns, are cis female, and are here to study computer science. we also see you received a spot on the ss university because of your online lottery win — we won’t tell anyone. during your first few weeks here, other students said you were tenacious, intuitive, but also vindictive. it sounds like you spend most of your time at the games deck. upon checking your luggage, we noticed you packed your childhood teddy. hopefully your roommates don’t steal it!

hi friends !! please bear with me through these trying times of figuring her out, hopefully she won’t be too all over the place for the first lil bit. i’ll (eventually) work on a more detailed bio but for now here’s all you need to know about blair.

✘ STATS.

name: blair sophia reinhart

nickname: bee or reinhart but nicknames are reserved for the people closest to her.

birthday: november 13th 1997 / scorpio

sexuality: bisexual/biromantic but has a strong preference for women. like 90/10

relationship status: single

positive traits: intuitive, tenacious & valiant

negative traits: manipulative, vindictive & domineering

✘ ABOUT.

she was born and raised in san diego, california but blair never really had a place to call home while growing up. she bounced around from her parents to her grandparents to her aunts and uncles, no one ever fully committing to raising her. she was kind of just an inconvenience tbh. she was too young to completely grasp what was going on in the beginning but as she got older she began to see that her family didn’t care for her much at all and in turn, she didn’t care for them. *insert that cliché angsty rebellious pre-teen here*. blair started getting into any and all kinds of trouble she could find ie; drinking, skipping school, shoplifting, crashing at a friends house for days on end, mostly just for the hell of it or because she was BORED but also because she wanted to see how far she could go before someone noticed and reprimanded her. (no one ever did.)

her grades were never the best but they were good enough to ensure that she could get into college and as far away as possible from san diego and her family. when she heard about the ss university cruise-liner she just knew she had to get a spot on there. her parents were by no means rich and she would never receive a scholarship so the online lottery was truly her only chance. blair had never been one of the lucky ones so she took matters into her own hands and hacked into the whole system, rigging up a win for herself. (okay but think penelope garcia from criminal minds just a whole lot meaner and angrier).

she has that fuck everyone and everything mentality when it comes to p much anything apart from her major and a few close friends. she's a huge computer geek but keeps it lowkey. she can and will hack into anything/everything. she hopes to become a technical analyst someday. blair truly loves the classes she’s taking and for the most part, tries her best. whatever that may be.

she’s cold and hard to crack, not wanting to let anyone in fearing they’ll just end up leaving her the same way everyone always does but she’s the ultimate ride or die bitch and will do absolutely anything for the ones she loves !! like if you take the time to get to know her she’ll probably show up at your door with gifts just to show you her appreciation. she’s not so good with words but gifts??? and even though she may not seem like the friendliest of the bunch she’s very outgoing and charismatic, always down for whatever. like she’s ACTUALLY fun, will never miss a party and lowkey always needs to be included. deep DEEP down she seeks acceptance and approval. she knows she’s a bitch but she’d rather hurt than get hurt y’know ?? she’s a very competitive person, huge sore loser. gets super angry when things don’t go her way.

she also knows how to get exactly what she wants and can be super manipulative. doesn’t care that she’s two faced and will fake a friendship/crush if it means she’ll benefit from it.

✘ FUN FACTS.

she brought her stuffed teddy along with her and it’s literally all she has left from her childhood. she definitely hides it, though.

big fan of “that’s future blair’s problem” and lemme tell you, future blair has A LOT of problems.

literally keeps a list of names of the people who have wronged her at any capacity. idk what she’s doing with it tho. always out for revenge

firm believer that seinfeld is the best show ever made.

lowkey little spoon.

secretly enjoys painting. she won’t let anyone see her do it but she’s p talented and it’s just a great escape and a great way to let all of her feelings out without punching a wall.

anywaaay, that’s all i have for now. i know she doesn’t sound super inviting but i PROMISE she’s not that bad !! hmu on here or on discord @ aubrey#7709 for plots. i don’t have a w/c page yet but just know that i am down for absolutely anything.