#( . but i want you to know how you've genuinely impacted me

[lafragolina]

just kill me

[bitchthefuck1]

you know what, I actually will talk about this because it's bothering me. The issue with focussing so heavily on syd and carmy's potential for a romantic relationship isn't that there's something inherently unintellectual about romance or whatever, it's that a lot of people seem incapable of doing that without immediately flattening the story and ignoring or intentionally misreading any and all nuance for the sake of that romance. Every scene suddenly becomes about how it impacts their relationship, every analysis is done through a romantic lens, every frame or line of dialogue becomes about finding some easter egg or hint that "proves" these people should start dating. Their dynamic is absolutely a fundamental part of this show, but if you can only see it as a will-they-won't-they, you miss so much of what the story is actually trying to say with these two.

There are good versions of this story where their relationship is romantic and there are good versions of this story where it isn't, but as soon as you decide them being together is "the point," you lose the ability to actually judge the story for what it is, not what you want it to be.

[bmpmp3]

post ankle-twisting clarity

[daphwritesworld]

Chapter 5— How Could U Love Somebody Like Me.

a/n: we finally find out who mysteriously girl is and what happened in barca. now it’s just time for Leah to find out…and lord knows how that hot head will take it 😅

content: Top!Leah, Bottom!Reader, impact play, fingering (both receiving technically), nipple sucking, Jealous!Leah, mutual masturbation, orgasm denial, squirting, some bratty!reader just like once or twice,

warnings: public sex…like y'all get caught in 4k HD. hide the mother fuckin cameras !! walked in on while fucking oops, locker room sex, dom & sub relationship

synopsis: Leah's been giving you the silent treatment, so you recruit Keira for help.

word count: 5.0k

Series Masterlist: here.

!! 18+ MINORS DNI !!

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It’s been a whole week since you’ve last spoken to Leah. She's been avoiding you like the plague ever since the incident. Alessia let you stay with her for a few days until you felt well enough to go back to your own home. She didn't push you for any details, but you could tell she had a million questions. You appreciate her for keeping them to herself while in your presence. Practice has been awkward, especially with everyone’s whispers behind your back. It's all becoming a little too familiar in the worst way possible. Keira has been an angel in disguise during all this. She might be Leah’s best mate, but you two have a special bond that you cultivated while at Barca. She understands why you act the way you do– she might not like it or agree with it, but she does understand. She doesn’t judge you, but she also lets you know how much you’ve hurt Leah…and that was never your intention.

She won’t even look at you. So now you find that you're one with your gaze fixated on her, and begging for just a glance in your direction. For the past three days you’ve studied her from the sidelines. She hasn’t smiled once since your arrival back, not even a crack of a grin. Her face has stayed stuck in a frown and twisted up in vexation. It feels like a fifty pound weight sitting on your chest, and you aren’t sure how to fix it. You know you have to apologize and explain everything to her, but you haven’t even accepted it yourself. How can you explain something you refuse to process?

“You want to stop for a coffee? I know you didn’t sleep much last night,” Keira snaps you out of your reeling mind. It's not that you're glad she got hurt, but she wouldn't be here if she hadn't. You know it's only till Barca gets here to play, and then she'll be back to Spain with the team. But you're still grateful for the next few days you get to spent together— even if that means you'll eventually have to face her at the game…and you know you can't do that alone.

“Uh yeah. I could use a pick me up this morning, thanks Kei.” You look at her and give a little half smile. It’s gone just as fast as it appears though, “Can we talk about something?”

“Of course, y/n. You know I'm always here for you…even when you’re being stubborn and pushing me away,” she ends it with a small laugh. “Especially then, actually.”

You start to pick at your fingers. It's an old bad habit you've picked up from when you're stressed. You find that you've lost all your confidence as your voice comes out as softer than intended, "Did you know?"

"Did I know what?" Keira's face scrunches up in genuine confusion at the question. You take a deep breath as you try to steady your heart beat and fight the constricting feeling in your throat, "About Alexia…"

The silence that ensues fills the car like a toxic gas, sucking all the air out of your lungs. You can't stop the tears from filling your waterline now, and the blurring of your vision confirms that. Suddenly the busy city life outside the window becomes your soul focus. It's not until Keira pulls into the parking lot of the cafe that you realize your lungs are burning from their lack of fresh air. "Hey— breathe! Breathe, y/n. It's okay, you're okay," She's throwing her seat belt off and turning you towards her in no time. "That's it. Take a deep breath, there you go."

She's got one hand on your shoulder and the other one locked inside your grip. She lets you squeeze it as hard as you need, anything to get you to ground yourself. After a few guided breaths you can blink the blurriness from your vision. It takes a few more to calm you down enough to speak. The midfielder feels her heart break a little from the pure brokenness of your next words, "Did you know, Keira?"

"So that's who you were seeing, huh?" Keira finds herself being the one to take a deep breath before she grabs both of your hands in hers. "Why didn't you just tell me, y/n?"

"Because I knew you would've told me it was a bad idea," a single tear ran down your face as your voice cracks, "and I didn't want you to be right."

Keira wipes the tear from your cheek before she pulls you into a hug. "Oh darling, come here."

You let your pent up sorrows finally leak out of you, and Keira is there to hold you together as you do. You stay like that for a few minutes until your loud sobs turn into sniffles. Just as she thinks you might've fallen asleep in her arms, she hears your horse voice start speaking again. "Everyone could tell she wasn't over Jenni, but I let my heart get in the way. She told me from the start it was casual, but it didn't feel that way. Especially not near the end. Just friends didn't do the things that we did or said, but she couldn't admit that…" A disgruntled sigh leaves your lips, "Or maybe I just couldn't accept that I was a placeholder to her. I saw the world in her, but she saw me as reminder of who she lost…who she really wanted beside her. I think I always knew that deep down, but I uh..I thought she could learn to love me overtime I guess. It's not her fault. I played myself, and I couldn't handle the fallout…so I pushed you away, and I ran out like a coward because I was too embarrassed to face the judgment from everyone else. I'll never be able to apologize enough for that."

A new wave of tears start rising up to your eyes, "And I never meant to hurt Leah in all this. I know you've been here for me, but she's your best friend. I know you probably want to smack me a few good times, and you totally can! I just want to fix things with her, but I don't know how. I'm not ready for a relationship yet— not by any means…but I miss her, Kei. I miss being her friend."

"Well, I can promise that she misses you, too. Step one to getting Leah to accept an apology is getting her a gift, then follow that up with some ass kissing, and after you've completed those steps we'll discuss the next ones." You can tell there's something she's holding back. It's written all over have face.

"Out with it, Walsh! Be mean if you have to— I told you that you can hit me," Keira can't help but roll her eyes with your dramatics.

"Good God— I'm not going to hit you, y/n!" She lets an exasperated breath slip out of frustration. "I just don't think there's ever been a time when you and Leah have been just friends." You go to cut her off, but she presses a finger to your lips— silencing you like a mother does her child. "Deny it all you want, but I know the truth. I never suspected you and Alexia from a mile away, but you and Leah? You can't fake that kind of connection, and you can't let it get away from you either. So stop letting yourself sabotage it like a complete wazzock! Both of you are so stubborn and stuck in your own ways! It's bloody maddening! We are going inside this cafe to get us some coffee, and you will get Leah's tea order for her. She'll probably still be a jerk even after you give it to her, but that's when you start the ass kissing part of the plan. Got it?"

She finally allows you to speak as she pulls her hand back,"Got it, Mum."

Keira lets out a defeated sigh as you guys exit her car. You can't be serious just this once, can you? Nope. Always have to deflect with humor when you're faced with the truth. At this point she just hopes you two can make up so she can get some sleep. Leah talks nonstop about you every. single. night. It's impacting her sanity at this point. She NEEDS you to beg Leah for forgiveness or she just might snap. She doesn't even need you two to start dating…just make the fuck up. This is just as much for herself as it is for you. A mutually beneficial plan.

—

"Have a nice day and good luck with Leah!" Keira calls out the window.

You laugh before turning your head around, "Thanks Mum, I'll make sure to stick to the plan!" And then you're off to head into the building. Thank god Keira picked you up so early, because it looks like only one other car is here…and that just so happens to be the blonde defender's Audi.

The beating of your heart accelerates with every step you take, and it rises till it drowns out your hearing. Just a steady thump. thump. thump. thumping that has you worried you might pass out. You're trying to think of what to say to her, but your mind is completely blanking. As you see the door of the changing room you are 85% sure you might throw up as soon as you see her. So you take a few seconds to calm yourself down, remembering Keira's words as you close your eyes and take deep breaths like earlier. When you reopen them you bite the bullet and walk in, and for the first time in a week…she looks at you.

It feels like your heart stops in your chest, and the words on your tongue suddenly get trapped inside your throat. Your eyes search hers, and then your mouth is moving before your brain can catch up. "You look like you haven't been getting much sleep."

She doesn't scoff or turn away like you expect. Her eyes just soften a bit as she speaks, "I can say the same for you, y/l/n."

Ouch. Still on a last name basis? To be fair you haven't even gotten to step one of the plan yet, so let's allow room for some grace.

"I got you a tea!" You blurt it out like an idiot, jutting your hand out towards her with a blush dusting across your cheeks.

"You sure it's not for Russo? I mean, we're both blonde and apparently just your typ—" you cut her off with a kiss.

She freezes at first, and that makes you panic. You go to pull away as you start apologizing, "I-I'm sorry, Le—" but it's her that cuts you off this time. She kisses you with more force behind it, her hands searching out for your middle. But they stop just as she's about to touch you, hovering her hands as she pulls away to look you in the eyes. "Do you think you deserve for me to touch you?"

You can feel the heat radiating off of her body. A frown etches its way onto your face as you bite your lip, "No…but I can earn it."

Leah takes the cup from your hand as she sets it on the bench behind her, quickly turning her attention back to you. She decides to take a seat on the opposite end, her eyes sparkling with mischief as she does. "Come here," she licks her lips after she says it. You walk in front of her, leaving some space until she tells you what to do next. That must be the wrong move though, because then she's reaching out and pulling you to stand between her thighs. "Now get on your knees."

You swallow the lump in your throat as you follow her instructions, setting your knees on the cold floor as you stare up at her. She lets one of her hands rest on your cheek, "Open your mouth, y/l/n."

When you follow her orders, she shoves her index & middle fingers into your mouth. I mean Keira did say you'd have to kiss ass, and if this is what she meant? Oh you'd do it all day long. You gag at first, tears gathering as you try and relax your throat around her digits. She doesn't let you get used to the feeling, removing them after about 30 seconds. You don't expect what she does next though. Leah slides her own hand down her shorts, using your spit as lube for herself. She bites her lip as she starts rubbing circles into her clit, watching you squirm as the reality of the situation starts to settle in. You stay locked in a state of shock until she slips her fingers inside her pussy, moaning out a mix of curses and your name. You start to lay kisses on her inner thighs, but you're quickly stopped by her free hand gripping your hair. "You touch me again without permission, and I'll leave you here like this. Wet, untouched, and unsatisfied. So sit there and watch like a good girl. Prove to me how sorry you are."

"Yes ma'am," the grip on your hair gets tighter, and a small smirk flashes across your face from the action.You make sure to stay on your best behavior after that. Even going as far to sit your hands on top of your thighs so you aren't tempted to disobey. She looks absolutely stunning like this. Her chest starts to heave up and down as her fingers speed up inside her shorts, and her sounds of pleasure echo off the walls around you. "Take your shorts off," she says it breathlessly.

You hesitate a little, head snapping over to the door as your fingers linger on your waistband. "I won't ask you again, y/n." You look back at Leah,"Take. Your. Shorts. Off." She exaggerates with a tug to your scalp after every word, sending jolts of electricity flying through your body. Your hands finally start shoving the useless piece of fabric down your hips and you let them pool around your ankles. "Nuh uh— all the way off," Leah rasps out above you.

Your cheeks turn a dark shade of red as you kick them off and wait for her further instructions. Your heart is speeding back up now, endless possibles about what's to come flashing through your mind. "Spread your legs," she moans unexpectedly at the sight. The wet spot on your cotton panties is what gets to her first, but soon enough she's groaning out at the little pretty pink bow that rests at the top of them. You always know just how to get her going, and wearing those? Bold choice. Truth be told you left your flat with a purpose this morning. Leah was going to see you wearing these one way or another. If she wouldn't forgive you here, then you were more than ready to send her a desperate video of you trying to get off in them later tonight.

You forgot about her hand in your hair until you're being yanked forward. "Who the fuck are you wearing these for, huh?"

You can't help the smile that slides onto your lips, "You didn't really think I only showed up with one gift to apologize, did you?"

The look in her eyes is almost unreadable, but you can recognize hunger buried somewhere in her intense gaze. "Slide 'em to the side and start riding your fingers for me," and it isn't a suggestion. The demand radiating off of her voice is what coaxes you to comply so fast. You readjust yourself to sit back on your knees, but this time your legs are spread out enough to give her a show. You let one of your hands run down your body, moving the soaked piece of cotton to the side. You're so wet that Leah can see your pussy glistening from the way it reflects off the lights. She bites her lip as a loud moan escapes her, muffling it a bit as her hips start to grind into her thrusts. "Don't be shy— ride em just like you did before," she says it with a knowing smile flashing across her lips.

You somehow blush even harder, the memory invading your mind as you look away from the girl in front of you. She'd had you like this only one time before— in Ibiza. It was on the fourth night, Leah had thought you were flirting with the waitress. So she'd made you ride your fingers and a dildo on the floor in front of the bed. She had been perched on top of the sheets with a wand vibrator attached to her clit, and an endless amount of orgasms. She of course had denied you the whole time, only granting your throbbing pussy to cum with her tongue buried inside of you.

It's only when you snap out of your foggy haze that you sink down onto your fingers. She gives a soft tug on your roots this time, instructing your eyes back towards her. "You look away one more time and I'll leave you tied up like this for the whole team to find. All pretty and dressed in some frilly little underwear— all for your Captain," you can't tell if she's just teasing you or not…but is it bad that it kind of turns you on just as much as it terrifies you?

You take that as a sign to start riding your fingers faster, and the sweet sounds of your pleasure mixing together fills up the room. Leah's thighs are shaking at this point, her eyes locked onto the sparkling of wetness covering your fingers and running down your wrist. It's mesmerizing to her. The way your body literally leaks for her, crying out for her touch in a beautifully messy way. Leah curls her fingers just right, a wave of heat crashing inside of her stomach. It's all becoming too much for her. It's been a whole week of her trying to ice you out, and make you feel a little bit of the pain you caused her. Is that healthy? No. Do either of you really care? Not even a smidge.

'M'sorry! I'll be good, Le. I promise," you moan it out as your cunt clenches down on your own fingers. You keep your eyes trained on hers, and the telltale signs of her orgasm are present on her face. "I wish it was your fingers inside me instead. Yours are so much longer and thicker," her pace starts to get erratic as you keep speaking. "I can't stretch my pussy like you can— no one can." And that's all it takes for her back to cum and the sexiest groans to tumble from her lips. She tugs on your hair so hard it keeps you locked into place. So close, yet you can't see anything. This is like torture. But still, the sight has a new gush of wetness leaking out of your cunt and dripping onto the floor below you. Leah fucks herself through the aftershocks of her orgasm, letting her breathing return to a normal rate as she keeps watching your movements.

She licks her lips before she speaks again, "If you can make yourself cum like that, then I'll fuck you before the girls get here."

"B-but I can't! I need you to do it for me," it comes out as a pouty whine. The burning in your legs isn't even that bad, but you just want her to touch you already.

She laughs before releasing your hair as she stands up, going back to changing. "Then I guess we're done here. If you can't prove how sorry you are," she bends down as she slides her shirt off. A hand comes up to pinch your cheeks together and bring your face closer to hers, "Then you don't deserve to cum at all," her grip tightens as she speaks, "So take your fingers out and get dressed, or shut up and give me a show."

You whimper out at the aggressiveness in her tone. There is no way you are backing down now. You are determined to earn her forgiveness, even if it means your legs will feel like jello for two days afterwards. So you bite your lip as you start grinding down onto your wrist, sinking your fingers deeper as you use more of your body weight to drop down onto the thrusts. Leah must take some pity on you, because after a while she starts rubbing your nipples through your shirt. It's the added stimulation you didn't know you needed.

Within seconds you're leaking even more sweet noises from your mouth, a newfound energy cursing through your veins as you chase after your own orgasm. "Good girl, darling."

It's those three words from Leah that sends you over the edge, your legs shaking as they give out underneath you. She can't still be thaaat mad if she's dropped the last name only rule. She catches you as you fall forward, helping you regain your balance as you stand back up fully. She lets you lean against her as you regather your bearings. One of her hands comes up to rub soft patterns into your back. The comfortable silence doesn't last long though, "I hope you know I'm still mad you missed our date on Thursday,"

"Oh my god!" You shove her away with a playful smile on your lips, " It was not a date, Leah! See this is exactly how we ended—" she cuts you off with a kiss once again. Silencing any and all complaints you may of had on your tongue. She's the first to pull away, but she barely moves back. You can still feel her breath dancing across your lips as yours catches in your throat. "You might not be my girlfriend, but you're still mine." She backs you up until she's guiding you into the showers, a blur of hands stripping you both with every step you take. Her hands run across your naked abdomen as she cages you onto the shower wall. "Mine to touch, mine to kiss, and mine to fuck." One of her hands moves to turn the water on, and she makes sure it doesn't touch you at first. You are the words biggest baby when it comes to water temperature. If it's not hot enough to boil you alive, then you'll whine and cry about how it's 'too cold'.

A mischievous look crosses your features just as Leah brings her face back down close to yours. "Then prove it," you use her words back against her. That causes her to smash her lips to yours, her nails digging into your hips as she pulls you closer against her body. The kiss is brutal; full of tongue and teeth as she gropes the most sensitive parts of your body. You get so lost in the feeling of her lips that you swear the rest of the world drowns out. You let out a yelp of surprise when she flips you around all of a sudden. The cold tiles pressing against your nipples has a shiver running through your body, even more slick collecting between your thighs. Leah presses some kisses to the back of your shoulder, leaving little bites every time she pulls away to give you a new one.

One of her hands slides down from the back of your neck all the way down to your ass, and she lands a heavy slap there. It causes you to jolt against the wall, your face squishing as you do so. She rubs softy to soothe the skin after, "Did you touch yourself?"

"No ma'am," you answer her truthfully. And before you can process it, she's landing another spank onto your other cheek. The loud smack getting muffled by the water.

"Does she make you cum like I do?" You crane your neck to look at her, confusion settling into your features. There's a feral look overtaking hers. She doesn't even give you time to respond before she's slapping your ass again.

You jolt once more, a small moan slipping past your lips from the impact. "W-what? Who are you even talking about, Le?"

"Oh," Leah scoffs. "Don't play dumb with me, y/n." Another spank is landed upon your ass. "Did you let Russo touch you?"

You can't help the laugh that escapes your mouth in that moment, and you also can't help but to tease her as well. "And what if I did?"

Next thing you know your face is being smushed into the tiled wall in front of you. One of her hands is keeping you pinned there while the other slides down to your ass again. She leaves two more slaps— one for each cheek. And then her hand disappears in between your legs. Leah rubs them through your folds a few times before she slips two of her fingers inside you. You gasp out at the feeling, arching your back as she starts a rough pace from the start. "Then I'll just have to remind you who you belong to, darling." She bites your earlobe as she says it, pulling it with her as she lets her lips fall back down to your neck.

You moan out at her words, your pussy clenching around her fingers. "I can feel her sucking me in, baby. Like she's begging for me to ruin her." And you know she isn't talking to you. Oh no. She's talking to your cunt.

She picks her pace up now, your ass jiggling every time her wrist connects with it. She's thrusting her fingers in all the right places, curling them at just the right time, and most of all…They fill you up so fucking good. No one knows how to use their fingers better than Leah. She mastered the art of finger fucking like her life depends on it. A skill nonetheless— and one that you very much appreciate.

"Who's the only person who can fuck you this good?"

"You!"

She pulls out and lands a spank to your ass before running her fingers through your folds, avoiding your sensitive clit at all costs.

 Her voice comes out a little rougher than before, "What's my fucking name?"

"Leah!" You chant it like it's a prayer. Her name the only thing slipping from your lips as she shoves her fingers back inside you, adding a third one to the mix. It has your mind spinning and your thighs drenching from the debauchery taking place. She's turning your brain off with the pleasure, her hand on your back sliding around your front as she starts rubbing at your clit. Her breasts press against your back now, the new angle awarding you both with a sudden wave of pleasure flashing through you. Your legs start to shake and just as you're about to cum….she's pulling out. Your eyes immediately fill with tears and your mouth drops open to beg her for forgiveness. Hell you can stand the silent treatment, but you can't handle this. Orgasm denial should be classified as a type of torture when it's coming from Leah.

"Don't be a brat!" She chastises you as she turns you around, a hand coming up to brush some hair from your face. "I just wanna be looking at your face when I finally make you cum. Too beautiful to not fuck you from the front."

Your hands come up and land a light slap to her shoulder, a blush crossing your cheeks from her boldness. "Leah!"

she smirks at you as she leads you under the now hot water, her hands searching across your body as her lips find your nipples. You arch into her mouth, your hands tangling into her hair as you let the water add to the sensations. It just fuels the fire already roaring in your belly, burning and screaming to be let out. "Please Le! Lemme prove how much I've missed you," you take her hand into yours. Leading it down to your pussy, "How much we've both missed you."

She doesn't waste time— smashing your lips together as she slides the same three fingers back inside of you. It's like her body is made for yours and vice versa. The perfect puzzle pieces that always match up. She takes one of her legs and spreads yours a little more, causing them to shake once again as her pace increases. You start to wobble a little bit, but Leah's quick to wrap her empty hand around your middle to keep you upright. "I've gotcha, love. Just stand there and take it like a good girl."

You nod your head as best as you can, words all but lost to you in this state. It ends with you biting your lip trying to keep your sounds to a minimum. Even if the girls aren't here yet, you're sure some of the staff is here by this point…and you really don't need them to know what you sound like when you cum. These thoughts must be evading Leah though, because she's growling at you when she notices. "Let me fucking hear you," the fingers on your clit return now. Adding much needed stimulation to your poor neglected bundle of nerves. It doesn't take long for that knot in your stomach to build back up again. You can't help the way your eyes close this time, praying she doesn't stop because of it. But you always get a little disoriented when you haven't cum in a while, plus Leah's a little distracted by something else right now.

"Oh look, babe. We've got an audience," you can hear Leah's smirk as she says it.

Your eyes snap right back open at the words, scanning your surroundings as your hazy mind tries to make sense of this situation. It couldn't have been worse timing though…because you squirt all over Leah's hands just as you lock eyes with a shell shocked Alessia. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as high pitched whines ring throughout the air. Leah just fucks you through your orgasm, little spurts of liquid dripping down her wrist still. And Alessia is getting a front row view to all of this….

Oh. Fuck.

[corollaservant]

Lotus // Choso x f!reader (18+)

Synopsis: He was supposed to have his brother's undivided attention. Until he invited you over for summer break. Since he loves him that much, you're the one who's paying. (5.8k)

Warnings: 18+ dark, dubcon/noncon, humiliation, college, f.masturbation, use of "nii-chan" from Yuji, obsession/yandere brother, degradation, violence, dacryphilia, breath+impact play, dom!choso, reader gets a sunburn but it's mentioned 1x? and only as feeling pain

A/N: yk how everyone always makes Choso the nerdy, creepy, virgin perv? well i kinda want it reversed (he has killed people btw) [ao3]

Choso loves his family. That's why he doesn't like you.

Seriously, couldn't his brother not bring you over his place for summer break? He gets it, Yuji is young and can never say no, his best friend turned him down for a summer course and Choso guesses you were his second choice. Though Yuji would never tell him that. Or you for the matter. Choso can't wrap his head around why Yuji likes you so much. He knows his brother, no actually, he loves his brother so he knows it's not some crush otherwise Yuji would've shyly approached him and confessed. It seems like his brother just genuinely has a great time with you and that pisses him off. You're loud, that's fine, so is Yuji. But Yuji’s smart, caring, sensitive. You on the other hand... you break things on your way, stumble, laugh obnoxiously and make a mess in his clean kitchen. You're insufferable. So of course, Choso scoffs and rejects Yuji's offer at first.

"She's not coming over, Yu." He tells his little brother, "This was supposed to be our bonding time, remember? I planned out both weeks for us." Choso was excited—he really was. Getting to have his brother around was the best thing that could've happened to him. He'd take Yuji to the movies, carousel, beach, for beers; ok, no, he laughs, he'd definitely get them in a club, maybe a casino? Some strip show? Yuji was an adult now and Choso couldn't wait to listen to his college stories; though he knew there probably weren't many, judging by how nice his brother was. Really, a very likeable kid (adult, he corrects himself).

Yuji begs him. Tells him you'll help around the house, says you've never travelled before, you don't have any plans and you won't cause trouble. It's when Choso starts doubting himself. Ok sure, Choso isn't young per se, but he's definitely fun to be around, right? Does his brother seriously not think he's cool enough anymore? Would he be sad if he said no? He can't stand the thought of making his brother sad. Not because of him, that's certain. This is why he now has you in his house strutting around in flimsy shorts and a barely covering shirt, puffy eyes from your sleep and messy hair. On his kitchen counter asking if there's coffee. He scoffs.

"I made some. For Yuji. You can get some yourself.” He's been up hours ago, went for his run and excitedly waits for his brother to wake up. But now you’re there. Choso couldn't wake Yuji up, he practically spoiled him anyway he could, sleep was no exception. However, you and Yuji unfortunately do not share the same schedule so he is cursed (because blessed would be a euphemism at best) with your presence.

"Alright, damn." You groan, ever since you got there, he seems constantly pissed off with you, but you just woke up, you’re groggy and in his house so you can't do much but yawn. You walk past him, he's too absorbed in his phone, not bothering to look. 

"When do you think Yuji will be up?" He asks, as the smell of coffee suddenly makes you feel alive again.

"Oh I don't know, I'll wake him up soon, we'll go for a swim today." You giggle, you'd been so excited to go to the beach, swimsuits were the first thing you packed. Yuji told you about this beach he wanted you to go to, you’d promised to bring your polaroid and take pictures.

"No, you're not." Choso lifts his head up as he puts the phone down. "Me and Yuji have plans today. You can chill here, we'll be back before 9." It’s sharp and sounds non-negotiable as you stop in your tracks.

"What plans? I didn't know—"

"Why would you? This is our day, you guys can hang later or whatever." But Choso is already pissed. Like actually pissed. If you don’t know then…hadn't Yuji told you or were you just that dumb? He weighs in on the latter. Regardless, he can't argue with a girl his brother's age.

"But I–" You try to protest, as you stand next to the counter, your mug in your hands and you haven't even taken a sip when you’re cut off.

"I'll go wake him up now. Oh, and wear some proper clothing, will you? You've taken this family trip way too seriously." He spits and heads upstairs, leaving you dumbfounded. Coffee suddenly doesn't make you feel that alive. 

-

Yuji is sad. Sad because none of you want to compromise. Choso arranged for them to rent bikes and tour around town; the boardwalk along the seafront was ideal for the activity. His brother had always been athletic and loved the idea so Choso had contacted the shop owner to rent in advance. He knew he was creepy, who the hell rented a bike a week prior? It’s not like they wouldn’t find one. Still, the store closed at 4 PM and it was already past one (Yuji and his sleep) so they’d have to hurry. He’d prepared lunch and was excited for some brotherly time. As for you? Choso honestly didn’t care. You could go for a walk for all that mattered, it’d be four hours at most, you’d be fine. But then there was you, reminding Yuji of the impulsive promise he gave you twelve hours ago. The truth lies in the middle. Yuji mixed up the days—could you blame him? You and Choso bombarded him with plans and ideas meanwhile the poor boy only wanted to rest and enjoy his vacation. So he’d told you about today, when he’d promised Choso days ago. 

‘’Guys, I’m so sorry.’’ Yuji frowns as you both look at him. ‘’I promise, we can do both! One has to call it off so we can do theirs tomorrow.’’ His eyes gleam like usual, but he looks anxious. Probably because he knows both of you. 

‘’But you promised me first.’’ Choso speaks, he doesn’t sound condescending, he’d never raise his voice at his baby brother.

‘’Yeah, well he promised me yesterday!’’ You retort childishly. It’s like a race you two have, who will answer first, a competition, who can win Yuji over.

‘’Please don’t fight, we can do both, come on now, who wants to do their activity tomorrow?’’ Yuji sighs, looking across the kitchen table. He’s the youngest, but he sounds like a kindergarten teacher at the moment.

‘’Yuji, what do you want?’’ Choso emphasizes. Good, that should give him his answer, he thinks.

‘’Yeah, Yuji, why don’t you tell Choso our plan is waay more fun?’’ You consider sticking out your tongue but one look at Choso and you keep your mouth shut.

‘’You know I can’t choose! I love both.’’ He pouts. ‘’Don’t make me do this, can’t you guys figure it out on your own? I’m serious. I’m sorry…” Yuji’s eyes fall. Choso can tell and he suddenly feels responsible. Not for his plans, no. For seeing a sadness cross his brother's face. His heart aches seeing him so passionate to end this stupid debate, so caring, never wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings. He deep down wishes he came first. Choso’s older now and he realizes he can’t continue; a sigh leaves his lips as he speaks up. 

‘’It’s fine, Yu. Be back soon.’’ He backs off. Again. He has to put up a front for his brother. He doesn’t bother giving you a glance, as he exits the kitchen. He wonders if he’s ever despised someone that much before. To the point of choking them…no, not that. That’d be too nice for you. You deserve an agonizing death. He imagines your body stretched out on a medieval rack as your limbs crack one by one. You hadn’t been there more than a day and you were already fucking up his schedule. And in his own house, too. As if dressing like some whore wasn’t enough, seriously what ever happened to modesty? In his head his thoughts make sense, a stranger meddling in his newly amended relationship with his brother. Did you even know how much he cherished him? The lengths he’d go to protect and be there for him? This summer break was supposed to be more than a brotherly reunion. He wanted to be Yuji’s friend this time. He bets you don’t even know what it’s like to have no one around. 

He might go for another run, he considers. You’d be gone within a week. But even when his thoughts subside, he still thinks of ways to put you in your place for good.

-

By the time you’re home, polaroids in your bag and salt on your skin, Choso is pacing up and down the living room. It’s 8:30 PM and Yuji hasn't texted him since noon. 

‘’Where the hell were you, Yuji?’’ Choso completely ignores you as he looks at his brother, who is licking off a half melted ice cream and flaunts a newly acquired tan.

‘’Did you get a sunburn?’’ Choso’s anxious, damn it that kid, always failing to reapply SPF.

‘’I’m fine, nii chan.’’ Yuji laughs, as some ice cream falls on the floor. ‘’I’ll go take a shower or do you wanna go first?’’ He asks you.

‘’She can go first.’’ Choso tells him and you’re taken aback.

‘’Really?’’ You sound surprised. There’s no way he’d ever be kind to you, you knew that seconds after you met him. 

‘’Yeah, want to have some time with Yuji, before we head out.’’ He sounds casual as he brings a wipe to clean Yuji’s ice cream. His back muscles flex under his compression shirt, he looks kind of messy, had he worked out again? Unruly hair falls on his eyes as you try to tear away your gaze.

‘’C-cool.. I’m going upstairs.’’ You announce and leave, stumbling on the first step. What did you think of right now? 

Choso’s bathroom is spacious and allows you to take your sweet time rinsing salt and sunscreen off your skin. Yuji may have not been sunburnt but you couldn’t say the same. Your skin aches as you lather your back and thighs, were you sunburnt everywhere? You make a mental note to apply some moisturizing cream you brought. You had a good time with Yuji, he told you about his best friend’s summer course (financial crime, corruption and money laundering— dude sounded weird) and not being able to make it, how they’d meet and how his relationship with Choso had drastically changed in the span of a year. Yuji didn’t even know about Choso and took some time to warm up to him. As his brother, that is. But Choso was the best brother he could have, he told you. You had trouble believing that. Choso’s demeanor was far from.. best. You sigh remembering your brief coffee encounter. How he’d looked at you above his phone, his cold eyes with tired bags under as his long hair fell on his face, unruly and..sexy. What? Why do you think that? Your mind goes through images like a film projector—his long torso peeking under his compression shirt as he stretched and accidentally revealed a v-line and a happy trail. You feel a sting as water falls down the drain; the lotus and white tea fragrance from the body foam he has envelops your face. You close your eyes and think of him in more…compromising scenarios. Behind you for example. Strong arms snaking around your waist as he presses against you, droplets falling between you while his mouth latches on your neck. A muscular, veiny hand finding your chest and caressing gently…only to move to your lower belly and lazily circle around the entrance. You fight the urge to let a soft moan as you imagine him teasing. Yeah, he’d definitely tease your slit up and down, pecking on your neck until you begged. ‘’Choso..please! J-just one finger!’’ and he’d laugh, mouth contracting on your delicate neck and rubbing around your clit. You’re getting yourself off, what the hell are you doing right now? But could you really blame yourself? You never thought of Choso like that but you do now so you can’t question it further. You let a finger slip slowly inside you. It’s wet and fills you up well—not as good as you think Choso’s thick, calloused fingers would, but it does the job. You wonder how good he’d feel and you’re getting yourself off only by picturing his fingers. You’re suddenly interrupted by a knock on the door. 

‘’Aren’t you done yet? It’s been half an hour. Get out.’’ Choso growls behind the door, you remove your finger and quickly gulp down. 

‘’I’m almost done.’’ You faintly say, shit, the man you had fingers in your cunt for, interrupted your daydream…of him. You quickly rinse off excess shampoo and exit. God, you needed to get laid instantly. 

-

When you come downstairs, Yuji is nowhere to be found. Choso is sitting on the couch, the TV plays a show he doesn’t watch as he scrolls on his phone.

‘’Where’s Yuji?’’ You’re wearing Yuji’s old T-shirt from when he was a gamer and skater and nothing under it. In your defense, it’s long and covers almost up to your knees. He doesn’t turn around.

‘’He left. Sent him off to meet his friend, his parents dropped him off.’’

‘’What friend?’’ As far as you knew Yuji told you all his friends were busy with summer courses.

‘’His best friend, Megumi, don’t even know that?” He sneers. Megumi? The money laundering guy?

But he—

‘’He’s not staying long.’’ He has to be joking. 

‘’Why didn’t you tell me? I wanted to meet him, Yuji told me–’’

‘’Why should I? Yuji needs time with some real friends. Told him you felt sick or whatever.’’ 

‘’Are you serious? Why would you do that? Where are they?’’ You can’t believe this guy, first he treats you like a pile of shit, then he’s nice to you by offering you to go first…wait. Did he send you up first so he could convince Yuji to go out without you? Could he be so shitty?

‘’Oh my fucking God, that’s why you told me to shower first didn’t you? What did you even tell Yuji?’’ This guy is unbelievable and you fight the urge to rip his hair out from the back. 

‘’Does it matter? He’s already gone. Serves you right.’’ Choso sounds relaxed, like he just stated tomorrow’s itinerary. 

‘’And what am I supposed to do here, huh? God, you’re so fucking annoying, I swear I’m texting Yuji right now.’’ You realize your phone’s upstairs and before you can turn around, a strong palm grabs your wrist forcefully.

‘’One more step and you’ll be spitting blood.’’ His eyes burn as you feel the pain from his grip.

‘’Let— go...’’ You ask, more like beg as he throws your hand away, it burns, partly due to the sun but also from the pressure of his grasp. 

You slowly drag your feet to the kitchen as you think of ways to hurt him. You hate this guy, you simply exist and he decides upon making your life living hell. Sure, he doesn’t do anything dramatic but he’s constantly interfering with your friendship. Yuji wants you there, he acts like he’s some unprotected child and constantly monitors him. You grab a glass from the cupboard as you feel the words slip out your mouth involuntarily.

‘’Yuji doesn’t like you.’’ You lie and before you even have the chance to have a sip, the glass soars in the air and falls with a loud thump, shattering in a million pieces as you’re turned to look at him. 

‘’What the fuck did you just say?’’ He spits. He scares you, you think, the way he’s hovering; he seems really angered.

‘’I said–’’ You can’t continue. Because he slaps you. On your face. With his palm. And it hurts so badly, you feel tears prick at your eyes, your wrist hurts and you can’t move around— each time the burn catches up to you. 

‘’Why don’t you say that again?’’ He goes on, he has not moved and still waits for your answer.

‘’S-stop..!” You muffle, as you bring a hand to your face, you want this resolved immediately, you’re kind of defenseless, since your phone’s out of your reach and you are alone. He also is extremely strong and it doesn’t help that you anger him, his muscles tense and you notice the veins on his neck pulsating.

‘’Useless bitch.’’ He hisses, ‘’Yuji doesn’t like me? Look at you and your pathetic self. You think he likes you? Yuji likes everyone, wake the fuck up. At first I thought he fucked you, cause why else would anyone want to hang out with you?’’ Choso is fed up with you. Fed up with being nice, fed up with compromising. In all honesty, he’d probably be fed up with anyone but Yuji, but you’re just the cherry on top. Did you seriously think you could try to contact Yuji? The fact you even dared to speak on his name angers him even more. And that’s why he continues while you break down slowly. 

‘’You come here, in my place to hang out with my brother. Dressing up like some common cockwhore and you know what? I really wouldn’t give a fuck, but taking him away from me? Did you two have fun at the beach? You wanted him to fuck, yeah? Otherwise, what are you even good for?’’ He goes on to bring a hand on your cheeks, squishing and bringing your mouth to open like a fish. Tears that welled up in your eyes now fall sideways as he mocks. Your back slams against the counter, you think you feel your feet touch glass splinters as you tremble. You ache everywhere and he keeps going. 

‘’S–ow-’’ You manage, you can’t articulate coherently and feel nauseous. 

‘’Wanna speak up?’’ His mouth twitches but he still isn’t fully smiling. He has to hide it for now. Each moment that goes by, he feels an immense pleasure. It’s like he takes out all his anger that he kept inside the previous days and he doesn’t want to stop. Not when his palm moves your pathetic face left and right, like he’s viewing some artifact. In the insanity of it all, he feels his cock hard. He is unconsciously rubbing on your t-shirt (Yuji’s t-shirt) and your face looks oddly pretty, puffy cheeks adorned with tears and wide pleading eyes. 

‘’L-uh- oh’’ You try to speak out and he gets exactly what you’re trying to communicate. 

‘’Y-Yu- i’’ You call out his brother's name. Seriously, it's like you’re asking for it.

‘’What about my brother, huh?’’ A hand is removed as more air fills your lungs. You sob. You feel searing pain in your chest, among all other body parts— fingerprints sit on both of your cheeks. 

‘’Y-Yuji— is.. he..is not..’’ You can hardly keep up, he is in close proximity and your tailbone hits against the counter from the way he has his body pressed onto you. A hardness pokes at your belly and you think that this wasn’t what you had in mind in the shower. He is aggressive and looks like he won’t back off soon.

‘’Not what? Speak the fuck up.’’ 

‘’N-not like this.’’ You cry. You can’t understand how these two are even related. Yuji’s a sunshine, the kindest soul you’ve known, of course he wouldn’t want to fuck you, he just felt sorry that you didn’t have plans and offered up some company. He’d do it for anyone. You were naive at times but you knew it was the reason you were there. Yuji couldn’t say no. He must’ve also not been aware of his brother’s rage otherwise you wouldn’t find yourself in this position. 

‘’You’re right.’’ Choso takes you out of your thoughts. ‘’He isn’t. But I am. It’s your lucky day.’’ His left hand is on the counter behind you, so there goes your chance to leave. To your left, there’s an exit. You could run. But your eyes betray you and his palm abrasively pushes your left shoulder back. 

‘’Don’t even fucking consider this.’’ He says as his knee nudges yours to the side. You’re standing the whole time and the rough poke makes your legs buckle—you almost fall but you’re brought to stand upright as he lifts Yuji’s shirt.

‘’Shit, wearing his shirt and everything, as if you’d ever be good enough to be his girlfriend.’’ He mocks, but his eyes aren’t on you, they’re on your chest as you wriggle under him. 

Choso is determined this punishment exceeds medieval torture. And you should definitely look on the bright side, you’d enjoy it by the end.

‘’Finger yourself.’’ He orders and your eyes widen. 

‘’W-what..’’ You tremble. He raises his right hand and you flinch but he goes on to move a strand stuck on your lips.

‘’Stop playing deaf. Touch your cunt like you did in the shower. What? Think I didn’t listen? That’s the type of nasty whore you are.’’

You can’t do it. You can’t— so he does it for you. His right palm brings your hand in between your open legs as you feel your own palm push against your entrance. He touches on your middle finger and slowly brings it in between your lower lips. He slips in your finger, which has to contract by the pressure he’s applying but his rough hand touches you too and you cry.

‘’C-Choso.. s—stop..’’ He moves your finger up and down your pussy, which lubricates steadily the more something’s thrusted inside it and then decides to stick his finger too. You gasp as it fills you fully and he finally breaks out a smile, seeing you cute and vulnerable like this really makes his cock hard. Your pretty eyes beg for him to stop but he can’t; it’s too good and you’re almost enjoying it already. 

‘’That’s right. It feels good, doesn’t it? Bet you were thinking about Yuji in the shower, weren’t you? It’s okay, I can show you how I fuck too.” Choso wants to turn you around and stuff his cock inside you without protest but that wouldn’t count as torture so he has to suppress his strained urge. He’ll make good use of that nuisance of a mouth you have first.

Both hands are removed from your cunt, slick trickles down your forcibly open thighs— the position makes your hips automatically open and buck up and you’re panting, scared and embarrassed that your body betrays you. Choso’s face is flushed, a red scarring which you hadn’t seen up close, seems even more crimson, as he gets you off the counter and pushes your elbows down. You’re dropped on the floor, right in front of a long bulge—you can pretty much expect what’s to follow but still make a timid effort.

‘’Cho–Choso, please..’’ but before you know it, his sweatpants are removed and you’re cut off by his cock in your mouth. Salty precum lingers on your tongue—not long, before he starts thrusting his hips in your mouth, fucking your face. You choke and gargle; he’s big and his girth squeezes around your palate as he hits the back of your throat, “Fucking finally..” he groans, “..good for once.” He praises, as if you make some conscious effort. 

He suddenly pulls out—spittle falls down his cock as he grabs you by the roots of your hair. You must be a funny sight, plush, swollen lips, puffy eyes, a wet, anticipating cunt and precum staining his brother’s shirt as he brings his face closer. Something urges him to kiss you. He wants to taste your desperation. He brings his mouth on yours, it’s wet and he pushes his tongue inside, he can taste the fluids as you cry. 

‘’Kiss me.” He says and tries harder. This time you comply, his tongue searches your open mouth as you follow his lead. His right palm rests on the counter behind you, trapping you in an embrace, which oddly enough creates a heat in your core. His mouth, despite the forcefulness, feels soft and you aimlessly try to close your legs in hope the nasty feeling goes away. You smell his scent, it must be his shower gel, lotus…and something else you read on the label but can’t remember now. You let tears fall from your eyes as you try to inhale only through your nose— mouth too occupied being devoured by him. 

Choso loves kissing you. He thinks to himself you are perfect, in your own way. So pretty with your mouth distracted and your legs open. For him, only. Yuji would be off limits after that. Not that you’d approach either one after, he guesses. Your kisses only make him eager to stuff your cunt more, his cock aches by the minute, that’s why he lifts you up. You’re so pliable, he thinks. He manhandles you and all you’ve said is a couple broken ‘’please’’. Did you actually want this? He considers the possibility, he isn’t unattractive in the slightest.

Your shirt has to go. He knows it’s Yuji’s but that doesn’t matter now that it has his precum on it. He finds himself wondering whether he fights internally against Yuji or you right now, seeing how he feels a pang of jealousy towards his little brother. But the idea is crazy so he brushes it off hurriedly. Your soft, squishy tits rise and fall to the pace of your anxiety. 

‘’You have pretty tits, does this hurt?’’ He asks as he slaps across your nipple, the skin around burns tenfold and you cry out.

‘’...h-hurts..’’ You yelp and he feigns sorrow.

‘’Aww, sorry, let me make this feel better. We’ve neglected her for some time, haven't we?’’ He looks at your cunt— glistening and lovely, ready to be defiled as he brings a thumb to play with your clit. 

‘’Spit.’’ You’re not that wet, what? It’s okay, he will change it.

You shyly gather spit and let a small glob fall down his digits as he pumps two fingers abruptly inside. Three strokes and your cunt starts drooling, he enjoys the sounds. But more than anything, he enjoys your tormented face, fighting to admit the pleasure you’re getting. His rough thumb circles around your clit as you’re forced to touch behind his neck to not fall off, you grip down his nape, failing to conceal your moans. 

‘’Cho-choso..mhm’’ You whine, brokenly, it pains you to feel so good, so fast. You don’t want this. You don’t.

‘’...Already squeezing down like some slut huh..’’ It takes Choso a lot of strength to not cum in the air like some loser, he’s delayed this too much and now you look irresistible, being fucked by his fingers on his counter. While you cry. And his brother’s out. 

‘’-Mm- Cho- Choso.. stop!’’ You moan, feeling close to an orgasm as he pumps faster and circles the nub simultaneously. Your fluids stain all the way up to his knuckles and if he keeps this up, you’ll probably coat his palm entirely.

‘’---f-fuck Cho–’’ He removes the fingers just before you can give in to the feeling— you pant frustrated. 

‘’Enough. Let’s test out how well that cunt feels… for a slut like yourself.’’ You want to protest, want to tell him to fuck off and leave you alone, but that’s clearly not an option. In a split second you’re turned over, thrown across the kitchen table, your limbs are stretched out and the direct contact makes you wince, as you clash with your chest. Choso admires the view. He spreads your legs out and you look ready to be fucked into oblivion.

He gives his stiff cock a couple thrusts, his red tip leaks his precum and he groans before his cockhead bumps with your entrance. You moan and he hasn’t even entered you yet as he brings a hand on the curve of your ass and smacks it. 

‘’Stop being so desperate, it’s embarrassing.’’ He sighs as he rubs his cockhead across your slit.

‘’P–please Cho–Choso..’’ You moan, understanding that you have it bad. ‘’W-want you in me...’’ You can’t even lie to yourself at this point, you’re pent up and need him. The rest of unresolved feelings is something you’ll deal with later. 

‘’Fucking needy slut, maybe Yuji was right bringing you over here. Gonna get fucked by his bro like some passed around whore? Want him to stuff you too?’’

‘’N-no! Choso! P–please- ugh.. need you..only you!” You beg as you move your hips, your dignity dissolved a long time ago. 

Choso mumbles something under his breath and pushes his cock to slide in your creamy walls as you moan—desperately. His cock is large and it hurts way more than his fingers, he hasn’t bottomed out yet but you already feel suffocated.

‘’Ch-Choso!’’

‘’What is it, slut? Be patient.’’ He huffs, but he isn’t patient himself as he prods at your cunt deeper, you’re way too tight to take him, squeezing down the entirety (or at least most of what can fit) in your little hole and he has to sigh. Your back muscles contract as your helpless hands tug at the table while he thrusts deeper and deeper, he brings his torso close to yours so he’s next to your hair, which he removes.

‘’Does that feel good? You take me so well for a common whore, baby.’’ He whispers on your neck, you shudder and cry out. 

‘’Mhmagh- Cho-Cho! Y-yes..feels s-so good! Don’t stop! Cho–’’

‘’Are you fucking stupid? Don't…don’t tell me what to do.’’ He straightens himself and grabs your hips. His cock lunges in your cunt, he’s poking at what feels like your cervix, when he slaps your reddened ass. It should appall you, it should make you wince but he notices your pussy tightening and clamping down. So you’re enjoying this? What a nasty fucking slut that you are. 

‘’C-Cho– i ughn I’m cumming fuck!’’ You sob and he fastens his pace. You’re overstimulated, overly teased and over the edge. Your hands scratch against the table as his palms hold your head firm and to the side, he pushes you downward and thrusts his cock in and out, each pump making you gradually lose eyesight until you do… fully. Your vision darkens completely and you blink rapidly as you let go screaming.

‘’C-choso aagh!’’ But he doesn’t listen, his head’s too clouded with the need to fill you up, the need to have his cum seep out your hole as he grabs Yuji’s shirt next to him, rolls it around and hangs it over your neck. You’re being lifted—your back is arched upward, the angle is excruciatingly painful; you’re too sensitive and his cock slides way too deep.

‘’Shit– don’t have much to say now, huh?’’ He asks but you’re choking and fighting for air, your ass bumps against his groin and he needs about three thrusts and a hard final slap on your flesh to finish. 

‘’Fuuuck–shit, r-right there, stay the fuck up!’’ He orders, but it’s not like you have many places to go as you feel a warmth filling you up; it’s funny, you’ve never had anyone come inside before. His load spurts and trickles out and he lets go of the scarf made on the spot, falling on top of you.

He slowly slides his softening cock out and doesn’t tell you another word while his chest rises and falls on your back. He can’t lie to himself, you were too nice. The softness in your shivering skin and sad eyes was too kind. Maybe he shouldn’t have been that hard on you, slapping you like some fly. He clears his throat as he climbs off you. You remain laid out, you seem passed out or freshly dead—you sport multiple marks and semen falls down his counter.

‘’We have to clean up before Yuji gets back.’’ You can barely register what he says but you make out the ‘we’ in the beginning. At least he acknowledges your existence, you think as you try to find your friend’s shirt. 

-

When Yuji returns Choso tells him you’re asleep. He can’t let him know he was cleaning bodily fluids off the kitchen counter. Yuji doesn’t ask more, he is excited to let Choso know about Megumi’s course and Choso listens, though he’s tired. By the time Yuji wakes up, you’re gone, having left a note behind that you ‘’didn’t feel well and changed the flight tickets.’’ When he tries calling you, you don’t pick up and he tells Choso.

‘’I’m sure she’s fine.’’ Choso made breakfast— it’s biking day, the sun shines and Yuji actually woke up earlier than expected (11 AM). His house feels silent, empty in a funny way, almost like you left and took its joy with you. Yuji is visibly upset but Choso reassures him everything’s fine.

‘’Yeah… I guess you’re right. You did say she felt sick yesterday..’’ He reminds him. Did he say that? Well, Choso thinks, it definitely sounds better than letting his little brother know of the sickening things he did— your punishment for daring to be his friend. Maybe he wasn’t lying to Yuji when he said that.

‘’I’ll try again later.’’ Yuji smiles. His voice doesn’t have its usual excitedness but Choso will work on it. He doesn’t have much time. 

‘’We’re still going, right?’’

‘’Sure.’’ Yuji smiles half-heartedly as he stands up.

He heads upstairs and Choso picks up the breakfast plates and puts them in the sink. He stands right at the spot he had you pinned twelve hours ago—defenseless and crying as he slapped you, facefucked you, fingered, choked and ultimately humiliated you. He knows the excuse that he made you cum and the way you looked at him barely holds up. Even if you liked him, it wasn’t right.

He is suddenly overcome by a wave of inexplicable emptiness. It’s a vicious cycle, he thinks. If it wasn’t you, it would’ve been someone else. He would have driven them away from Yuji in an effort to have him to himself. Then Yuji would be sad and he would feel responsible. It wasn’t ever really your fault. Yet, this wouldn’t have happened if you never showed up. It would have benefited all three. Maybe this was never a cycle; the loop would require equal components. You were a labyrinth, a complicated, long path and Yuji was the center. 

[sanguineterrain]

PLS PLS PLS I'm begging you for the play fighting prompt omgggg sanne I'll love you forever (I already do but that's besides the point)

lmfao I am so embarrassed by this 🫣🫣 totally exposing myself right now but whatevs. hope u like it aud (and others). i haven't written smut in a looong time so. baring my soul rn 🫠

jason todd x fem!reader. warnings: smut, playfighting, roughness (?), sprinkle of dumbification (no one look at me), dom jason but also kinda service top jason, fingering, praise, and CONSENT! bc we consent orally here, sir. 18+ only minors get OUT (you shouldn't be here anyway!!!)

heh. anyway. crawling back under my rock now.

****

"Do you think I could take you down?"

Jason raises his eyebrows at you from over his book.

"Come again?"

"Like in that demonstration Kory and Dick did today. Do you think I could do to you what she did to Dick?"

Jason chuckles, setting his book down.

"Baby, I hate to break it to you, but I think Kory's a little more practiced in combat than you are."

"So you don't believe in me. Wow. Some boyfriend you are."

"Of course I believe in you," he says. "She is a space princess, though."

You shake your head and pluck the book from Jason's hands. You make a point of sliding the bookmark in before you close it. Jason squints at you.

You wait approximately a quarter of a second before you leap forward, straddling Jason's chest. He makes a hup sound as you land, and you lift your chin victoriously.

"I got you," you say.

Jason nods, smile widening. "You got me, sweetheart."

"No, I don't. C'mon, fight back, Jay."

His eyes glitter as he studies you. Then he picks up both of your thighs and swings you both off of the couch. You land with him hovering over you, not even holding any part of you down. His hand is underneath your head to cushion the impact.

You huff. You know Jason can do better than this; you've watched him take down fifteen men in less than five minutes.

You lift your head, mouth parted in expectation. Jason understands immediately and happily complies, kissing you warmly.

You take the chance to hook your leg over his hip and throw him off balance. His hand wobbles enough to tell you that he genuinely hadn't been expecting that. Jason rolls on his side, absorbing the impact. You pounce.

"What's gotten into you?" he asks, smirking as you crawl onto him.

"You're holding back," you say, pinning his wrists down.

Jason looks at you mildly. "I told you I believe in you. You got me, baby."

He could break out of your hold instantly. Even if you were matched in strength and size, Jason has years of experience on you.

Something in your brain goes quiet and gooey at the thought. It fades as quickly as it comes.

"Play with me for real," you urge. "Show me some moves."

Jason presses his lips together. "You sure?"

You nuzzle his cheek, scruff scratching you.

"I'm sure. I trust you, Jay. C'mon, show me what you got."

He laughs, unbearably fond, and crosses his legs around your waist. You lose your grip on his wrists in the next moment, and you end up on your back. Again, Jason doesn't let you feel the full impact that he'd unleash on an opponent. He holds your shoulders when you go down to avoid thumping your head on the carpet.

Your breath still knocks around in your chest, though. The lightheaded feeling returns. You shift, pretending like you're adjusting underneath Jason.

"I can show you how to do that if you want," he says, and it's oddly sweet.

Your eyes narrow. Jason tilts his head, immediately suspicious.

"What're you planning, minx?" he asks.

"What do you mean? I'm perfectly innocent."

"Yeah, sure. I see the gears turning up there." He taps your forehead.

"Whatever, weirdo," you say, and push at his chest. "Let me up."

Jason practically scoops you up into a standing position. You busily dust yourself off even though he vacuumed last week. Jason's apartment is always spotless.

Right when you think he's distracted, you go in for the final attack. You launch yourself in his direction, putting all your weight into the advance.

At first, Jason's thrown off. Briefly, the thought that Jason feels so safe around you that he isn't on constant alert crosses your brain, and you melt at the realization.

Then he gets this glint in his eye, and squares his hips, and another feeling overtakes you entirely. He assesses you quickly, and the two of you push against each other for a few seconds. Just long enough for you to witness the emergence of a different side of Jason.

"My girl plays dirty, huh?" he says, voice pitched low.

Your head spins with how fast it happens. You've unlocked something, it seems, by trying to ambush Jason. He locks both of your wrists into his left hand, spins you around, and splays his right hand over your lower belly. Breath squeaks from your throat. Jason doesn't often remind you of your and his acute physical differences, but his large palm cupping your belly, fingers dangerously close to your waistband, reminds you that your boyfriend is at the top of the food chain when it comes to survival.

If he wanted to take you down, he could. That fact sears deliciously in your brain.

Then Jason goes in for the final blow. He pulls you in by your belly while also wedging his thigh between your legs. His ankle hooks yours, and you feel your balance topple as he pushes and pulls you.

You land on your stomach, Jason's hands still on you, and more than a little of his weight holding you down.

You throb underneath the pajama shorts you never changed out of.

All your air pistons out of you when you hit the ground, resulting in an embarrassing catch between a whine and a wheeze.

Jason's grip slackens immediately.

"Shit, baby, you okay? I'm so—"

"Ngh, Jay."

Jason freezes. His grip tightens, just firm enough to make your head go fuzzy again. His breath is hot against your ear when he speaks.

"Oh," he coos, and now you can feel nearly all of his body weight on you. His thigh is between your legs but only to keep them separated. There is no friction against your pussy, you clench around nothing.

"You like that, pretty? Like a little weight on ya?"

"Jay," you pant, wiggling underneath him. "Jay, please."

"Too much?" he asks, and the check-in just makes you wetter.

"No, n-no, want more. Guh—Jay—"

He laughs, a little cruel, a lot pleased.

"Fuck, honey. If y'wanted this, y'could've asked. Feels good, huh? Lighter? Too much on that quick brain of yours; y'need a break, don't cha?"

You've never felt like this before. You'd be seconds away from humping Jason's thigh if you could move.

"Jay, Jay—"

"Oh-oh, I know, sweet. You put up a good fight. Couldn't believe it was my girl, fightin' like that. What happened at that last part, hm? Your pretty head go empty?"

You whine, squirming as much as you can under Jason's weight. He hums.

"Didn't know how easy you get with a little weight on you. Poor baby, gotta keep your wits about you when all you want is to gush all over my thigh. You gushing yet?"

His fingers on your belly slip past your shorts, past your underwear, finally landing where you want them most. Jason gives your pussy sweet, little pets. He parts your folds, shallowly dipping his middle finger, just enough to make you clench.

"Jason, please," you beg, trying to chase his fingers.

"You wanted to play, right?"

You don't say anything, mind hot and cloudy like you've got a fever. Jason pinches your clit, just hard enough to make you jolt.

"Did the words leave you that fast, sweetheart? I've barely done anything. C'mon, you can do it. You're usually such a smart mouth. What happened?"

"Empty," you manage to say. "'M empty, Jay. Needa feel full."

"Oh, good girl," he purrs, two fingers diving into you pussy. You keen. "Good fucking girl. I can keep you full, don't you worry about that, pretty."

His fingers inside of you sound obscene. You might be embarrassed if you weren't on another planet right now.

"God, you're so wet," Jason says, and he genuinely sounds awed. "Little clit's so hard, I bet you can barely think. No wonder you're so dumb right now. Do I even have to do anything? I bet you'd just hump my thigh till you come."

His hand slips out of your pussy and you protest loudly, thrashing and gasping. Jason hushes you.

"Ah-ah, what happened to my good girl? Know all the blood from your brain rushed to your clit, but you gotta be patient, pretty. You think I'd leave you hanging? Be a crime to leave y'wet and aching."

He pulls your shorts and underwear down in one go, then lifts your hips up, slotting his thick thigh right up against your hot cunt. You immediately start to rub against him, out of your mind with the need to come.

Jason laughs. "What'd I say? I take care of my girl, don't I?"

"M-more, touch me, rub my clit," you pant out, nipples dragging almost painfully under your shirt. The carpet bites at your tits even through the fabric, especially now that Jason's given you room to ride his thigh.

You're still one hundred percent trapped beneath him, his weight pinning you down. Your arms remained locked behind your back.

"Mm. A little bossy, but I like you asking for what you want," Jason says, leaning down to nip at your shoulder.

His hand returns to your now bare pussy, and his middle finger quickly finds your clit. He swipes it a few times, then sucks his fingers into his mouth. You hear him lick them clean before he dives back in, now zeroed in on making you come.

It doesn't take long. You moan loud and long when your pleasure reaches its peak, Jason relentlessly working you over. You squeeze hard around his thigh when you come, brain syrupy and light.

"Oh, fuck, God. Look at you, yeah. That's my girl. Feel better?" he rasps, hovering over you.

You don't have time to reply before Jason flips you over, holding you down like that. He's hard, and his eyes are wild, a beautiful, blazing teal. He looms over you, and you feel inexplicably hunted.

"I think you've got another one in you," he says, pawing at the soft fat of your thigh. "Pretty girl can give me more, right? What'd you say earlier?"

Jason leans in and covers your body with his. The weight on your chest turns your brain to soup.

"Oh, that's right. Show me what you've got."

[mimimui]

comma after dearest (genshin impact)

wherein (character) reacts a certain way to a grammar mistake you made in your letter (or was it?)

includes: kazuha, ayato, thoma, xiao, zhongli, alhaitham, kaveh, scaramouche

tags: a bit unserious writing, fluff, i am obssessed with "it changed the meaning, did you intend this?" forgive me, not proofread

a/n: not sure if anyone's done this before, but take it as my apology for not having written in a while (╥﹏╥) my fever + colds are killing me & i have a lot of scheduled things to do for school aaaa. maybe i can write this with other fandoms as well ? (and character x character ships hehe) .. enjoy !

kazuha notices it immediately. aside from all the work with the fleet, he spends time reading—or rereading—your letters. written messages aren't uncommon when he's at sea, but this letter was different. had you made a mistake with your punctuation? no, it can't be, you've always opened your letters with "my dearest kazuha".

he blinked at the words, now seeing a comma between the word 'dearest' and his name. as much as he was confused, he was flustered. if this wasn't a mistake, and that you intentionally called him your dearest, then it's a shame you can't see how absolutely smitten he is for you right now.

ayato is busy going through papers and folders when he sees an envelope slide under his door. he chuckles as he reads his name in your writing, carefully picking it up and opening it. you have a habit of writing him letters and sliding it under his door while he works, which ayato finds very endearing.

when he reads "my dearest, ayato", his smile only widens more, finding new motivation to finish his assignments for the day so he can get to you as soon as possible. he knows how much effort you put into writing these short, yet loving, letters when he places this one on his (already full of other letters) pinboard.

thoma takes a while to realize, but when he finally notices it, his heart rate increases by a concerning amount. he loves you so much to the point that when he reads "my dearest, thoma", there's hearts in his eyes. thoma's so much happier after reading your letter, and now he's doing everything smiling.

ayaka told him he looks brighter than usual today, and ayato even asked him if he received good news. of course, he was shy about this, but he told the kamisato siblings it was nothing to worry about. though, he continues to do his work with a little bounce in step.

xiao denies it. he thinks he's read it wrong at first, but when he looks over at it again, it is confirmed that you did write him as your dearest. forgetting about the rest of the contents of the letter, xiao began to contemplate. an error like that was unlikely, especially since you're fond of writing.

the next time you meet, he has a hard time trying to bring up the topic. he knows you meant what you wrote, but he wants you to confirm it. when you tell him, "yes, i mean it." he tries to hold back a smile. keyword: tries.

zhongli adores the salutation. or rather, he adores you. he appreciates the sweet, small detail you added in. zhongli hurriedly, yet carefully, writes you a letter back, addressing you as "my dearest, (y/n)" and replying to the contents you had in yours.

he never really indulged in using endearments, but ever since your letter, he's only even been calling you his 'dearest'. when greeting you, when asking for your attention, when talking about you, whenever. zhongli's never said it outloud, but you know he absolutely loves that nickname now.

alhaitham is amused. he thinks you genuinely made a mistake in your letter, but doesn't address it until he returns to sumeru. when you see him again, he brings it up, expecting to be able to playfully taunt you about it. but he was so wrong.

"but you're my dearest. how is that wrong grammar?" you say, turning the situation around and teasing him instead. alhaitham wanted to tease you so much that he didn't bother to think of other possibilities. he's defeated, and all he can say is, "...i have no reply."

kaveh doesn't know how to react to it. should he be flustered, or correcting you for the mistake? was it even a mistake? he does write you a letter back, but best believe he immediately asks you about it as soon as he comes back home. "did you intend this?" he says, showing you your letter.

when you nod your head, all the shyness and blush that should've came in before came in now. kaveh uses the folded letter to cover his smile, but it's too wide and too bright to even try to. when you tease him about it, he strongly denies having his heart race from it.

scaramouche chooses to ignore it. he knows you wrote that punctuation on purpose, but he doesn't want show that he's thinking about it. this ultimately failed when he doesn't write you back, and you knew something was up with him. once he returns and he acts indifferent, you bring it up.

his eyes widen as he looks away, realizing he forgot to reply to that letter. scaramouche hesitates before quietly apologizing, mumbling something about 'my dearest' and 'running out of paper'.

thanks for reading (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

[ms-demeanor]

since twitter has become actively hostile to its users, so they came to tumblr, and reddit has become actively hostile to its users, so they came to tumblr, what do we do now that tumblr is becoming (more) actively hostile to its users? i’ve been here for over a decade so i know tumblr users are the type to cling on despite everything and revel in undoing every change, but i’m so tired of the way this website breaks the way it fundamentally works in order to appeal to new users. the twitterfication of the site seems so much worse than when people jumped ship after the porn ban, and even then, only small communities (and twitter) cropped up as solutions. you might not be the person to ask for a definitive answer, but i figured a tech blog might be interested in considering - what do we do when there’s nowhere left to go?

Okay so, I mean this very seriously: how has tumblr meaningfully become like twitter?

I don't personally find the sidebar view obnoxious and it seems to me like just another layout change that's pretty typical to tumblr. New users are getting signed up with a bit more emphasis on algorithmic feeds, but that is still very easy to change (MUCH easier than on any other social platform) and the algorithm has been there for everyone for quite a while, we just typically don't notice it because a lot of long-term tumblr users don't go into the "for you" feed.

I don't think that tumblr *has* fundamentally broken the way that it works to appeal to new users. My dash now is still very much like my dash in 2019, and still very much like my dash in 2018 (though much less pornographic). Reblogs are still reblogs, likes are still likes. Replies, for all that they seem like they've been around forever, are new and good and I think they work well. I'm irritated that the notes menu doesn't have a "view all" option but I think that's a worthwhile tradeoff for an easy way to see tags.

I *do not* understand why tumblr has broken linking back to previous reblogs but I don't think that's out of an effort to act like twitter; it is a bizarre choice that I dislike and don't understand but I also don't think that it has fundamentally changed the way the site works and i mean you've been around long enough that I'm sure you've had the same experience I have of going into the notes of a post and randomly clicking until you found a version that you wanted to reblog without a bunch of bullshit at the bottom. Tumblr has always kind of sucked, this change DOES suck but it doesn't suck in a way that is particularly novel or insurmountable. (For instance, I think this change sucks MUCH LESS than when they made posts with links invisible to the search, that is something that is genuinely bad that has been long lasting but doesn't get brought up much in lists of the ways that tumblr has gone wrong)

Tumblr *is* changing, but I think it is changing more incrementally and less terribly than other parts of the internet. I also hate the floating clown, the login walls, the dash-only view for blogs (you can't archive it and I HATE that), and - to an extent - the new lightbox on mobile. And I dislike that less than I thought I would but I don't think it's a fundamental change that necessarily impacts my interactions with the site - it *adds* a feature that I don't care for but it doesn't *break* anything that I require to have a good time on tumblr - in that way I think of it very much like Live. People hate Live so much and I find that perplexing because it is so easy to simply ignore it.

But that's not really your question; that's just some stuff I want people to think about because as much as tumblr has changed in the last two years it is nowhere near as fucked up as the recent things that twitter and reddit have pulled.

So, as to your question: where do we go?

Well. Not to be an extremely old person on the internet, but damned if I don't miss email lists. And forums. God I miss forums. Neither of those things has all the bonuses of platforms like twitter or reddit or tumblr or facebook, but they were great ways to hang out with people you liked on the internet.

The internet is changing. I can feel it, you can feel it, I'm pretty sure we're all like cattle in a field lifting our noses and hearing some distant rumbling and becoming slowly aware that it's almost time to run. There's a coming stampede and it isn't here yet but you know it's on its way. You're not imagining that, that's how things feel right now and there are a shitload of things contributing to it.

Things like SESTA/FOSTA and KOSA (which has not passed yet but is a big red flag waving on the horizon) have been eroding away the way that users on various platforms can function. Some platforms have consolidated in ways that harm users; some new platforms have popped up and shaken up the map of the internet; some platforms are being torn apart brick by brick by owners who don't care about the users. It kind of seems like people are actually looking up and realizing that advertising is A) bad and B) doesn't actually work and I think we're running straight toward another advertising-based crash like we saw in 2017. It feels like all the desperate things that tumblr is doing is just rearranging deck chairs on the titanic as the internet as a whole starts to sink into the ocean.

Honestly, I don't think it's that bad. I think it *feels* bad, but I think we're looking at a slow whimpering death of the platforms, not a bang. I think tumblr is going to hang on at least for a few years and I think it's going to end up like livejournal and myspace, which both still exist as websites that are recognizable as updated versions of the sites they were in 2004-2010. The thing that I think would really, honestly hurt tumblr in a fundamental way is if it moved to a more algorithmic and data-sales based model of advertising, and I think that's still pretty distant. I think Automattic is aware that killing the chronological feed would be the one unforgivable sin that would cause a mass exodus and a final crash, and I think when we see that, when we can't just scroll through the feed and see what our friends did that day in order of when they did it, that's when the party is over here.

But that's still not answering your question.

So, where do we go? What do we do? Well, for now, I'd say it's a good time to get contact info for your friends across various platforms. Get email addresses, get phone numbers.

Now is also the time for you to set up a personal website. NeoCities is currently the best place to do this, though it takes a lot more effort than just starting a blog on tumblr. I think that various oldschool blogging sites like Wordpress and Blogger/Blogspot/whatever the hell the google one is are a better place to have your emergency backup than a more platform-y platform if you aren't up to doing something with NeoCities.

If you've got the ability to do so and a group of people who are interested in the same core subject, set up a forum. There's a decent amount of off-the-shelf forum software out there and a text-and-small-images forum isn't prohibitively expensive, but it's never going to be huge and you're never going to have the kind of spread and virality and random connections that you would on a platform with millions or billions of users.

If you can't set up a forum, setting up or joining a discord server for your friends is a decent enough option at the moment, and may be a very good option for people who are looking to keep their interactions more private.

But yeah i think right now is a great time for people to start setting up their own personal websites, to start visiting actual webpages again, to start bookmarking their friends' websites, and to start collecting contact info that isn't tied to platforms.

[mrsdesade]

I can fly, you can't

Pairing: Homelander x fem!super (I used my OC name here) TW: fighting, teasing, mention of sxx abuse, Homelander being an asshole as usual playing with your fears Timeline: The Boys S1 Words count: 3,2k Note: this is the first long one-shot fic I wrote please be kind and enjoy the drama, English isn't even my native language so I'm trying my best to write correctly! Summary: Homelander following you after a meeting, after forcing you the night before to be his perfect girlfriend for the media (and in your bed), you hated all of this and you hoped to have a moment of peace for you, but after a fight he discovered what your biggest phobia is.

Leaving the meeting room feels like a huge weight lifted off your shoulders. It's like you can finally breathe again and think clearly without Homelander around. You feel like you're finally free from the burden of having to act like his girlfriend in public, at least for a little while. You exit the elevator and step outside on the rooftop of the Vought Tower, and then take a deep breath of fresh air and try to calm yourself down.

You take a few steps to the edge of the building, looking down on the city and trying to clear your mind. But your fear of vertigo kicked in and you're forced to step back immediately.

You heard the little sound of the elevator coming up, someone is coming after you. You can only guess who it is, especially considering how everyone else in the building is in that meeting. It's probably your nightmare of your days and nights, Homelander.

He steps out of the elevator and immediately notices your tense expression and the way you step back.

"What's wrong Ophera? Running away from an official meeting isn't really from you." he asks mockingly, his tone very smug and his smirk wide.

His footsteps echoing in the silence. As he got closer to you, you could feel his presence, and your heart sank with each step he took. You knew you had to stay calm, but the fear of vertigo and the presence of Homelander made that very difficult for you.

"I was bored. The topic doesn't concern me so I left with an excuse." you lied, slowly coming back to the elevator direction, standing safety far from the edge of the building. You've a secret to hide.

"Bored? It's rather unusual behaviour for you. There's something you're hiding and I want to know what it is..." he can see that you're trying to stay calm, but he can sense there's something wrong. He notices your movements towards the elevator direction and he steps closer to you, his gaze fixed on you.

"I'm perfectly fine. I assure you." you continued to maintain your fake calm behaviour, trying your best to don't look at the edges of the skyscraper.

"I'm not stupid. I can see through your deception. You think I haven't noticed your uneasiness? And I've been watching closely since this morning. You are acting strange, you're hiding something.'' he suddenly steps closer to you, his hand grabbing your chin and lifting it up towards him, his eyes locking onto yours. His gaze turns intense and calculating as he speaks to you.

You push him back with both of your hands, making him leaning back a few centimeters from you. You've to keep your secret or he may use it against you "I'm mad at you for what happened last night. Am I allowed to be angry or not?"

"Angry? Oh, so now you're angry at me for what happened last night?" He says, his voice filled with a mixture of arrogance and aggression. "Did I hurt your pretty little feelings?"

"I've no feelings for you, you hurt my body, you forced me. It was horrible." you pointed your finger at him and taking some step closer, for someone maybe you may be intimidating but for sure not for him.

Homelander's expression falters for a moment, your words seemed to have a genuine impact on him, especially when you accused him of hurting you and forcing you. "Oh, forced you? You have no idea what it means to be forced. You're still alive and healthy, aren't you? How much did it hurt anyway?" he lets out a scoff, like he's dismissing your words.

You felt for a second like your feelings and actions are nothing to him, everything you say is invaluable by his own way to see stuff. You became unable to control yourself and you can't stop from attack him out of frustration. You punched him on his pretty cheek.

Your punch didn't even make him fall back a single step, he looked at you with a fierce gaze and just laughed at you, like he found your action incredibly hilarious. "Ah, that's definitely a strong punch right there. You're gonna need more than that to hurt me girl. But I must say, I'm entertained by your attempt."

"I've just started, asshole." you answered immediately with a serious and challenging expression, starting to attack him again. In the back of your mind you know you can't really hurt him, but you need to let out all of your rage and frustration.

"For real, you're cute when you're trying to be strong. It's adorable, like a little Chihuahua attacking a Rottweiler. But I gotta give it to you for trying." He comments as you start punching and kicking at him with all your might.

You felt even more rage coming up inside your body. You move your hands in little circles movements and decide to use your powers. You can't hurt him, we'll see.

"Don't you dare calling me dog." your powers allow you to manipulate metals, so you lift two metal plates that were abandoned on the rooftop and throw them in his direction, fast, sharp and very heavy.

"Oh, so you're gonna use your powers against me now, huh?" He says with a confident tone, almost seeming like he's not taking your attempts seriously.

"That's cute." Despite his smug attitude, Homelander manages to dodge the flying metal plates with ease. He dodges them without breaking a sweat, and looks back at you with his usual smirk.

The plates fell of the skyscraper and probably are gonna hurt someone on the city, but you don't care at the moment. Your following attack was immediate, you managed to control some metal cords from the elevator and use them as sharp whip against him. You didn't notice as well that in this action, you broke the elevator, you already don't know that but you're stuck on the rooftop with him now.

He can fly, and you don't.

As you use the broken elevator cable as a whip, he manages to dodge it again. "Do you have any idea how easy it would be for me to kill you right now?"

"Attack me then, fight me Homelander!" you shouted in his direction, challenge him and then continuing using the cables, even doing a little scratch on him can make you satisfied, but seems quite impossible for now.

"You want a fight? Alright then. Let's see how long you last." He suddenly flies at you at a high speed. With a swift move, he lunges at you, he grabs your neck, his grip is tight and powerful.

You don't even have time to react, in just a single movement you appear defeated. It's hard to breath now. Your hands closed on his wrist that he's holding you so tightly "That's easy for you, but you've not...win...yet..."

That blonde monster scoffs at your comment. "Not winning? I have you in a chokehold and you're struggling to breathe. How can you say I haven't won yet?"

"Maybe I should squeeze tighter..." he adds, increasing the pressure on your neck. He smirks, looking at you with a certain degree of arrogance. You can feel his thumb pressing harder on your throat and his fingers squeezing it tighter, making it hard to breathe.

The words die in your throat, but you don't give up, you try to lift a metal pipe using your powers, you stretch out your hand in that direction and the object flies at an impressive speed towards him.

"Oh really? Trying to attack me again? Didn't we settle this already? I have you by the throat, you're literally in my hands." he says, his grip on your throat tightening even more, but he manages to catch the pipe you threw at him with one hand.

You stare at the metal tube in his hand snapping like a branch of wood, he could do the same to your neck.

"You really can't stop struggling, hmm? You're just going to exhaust yourself baby. How about you just give up already?"

''I'm not the type of woman who gives up easily...'' you feel the oxygen lacking, the pressure on your neck is increasing and you no longer breathing at all.

"I appreciate your determination... but I guess you'll just have to suffer a little more to learn the lesson." he tightened his grip on your neck even more, choking you and making it harder and harder to breathe.

you're about to respond, but you can only cough from the lack of air. When suddenly you feel Homelander lift himself off the ground without letting you go, reminding you that he can fly and you can't. As your feet no longer touch the ground, you feel the fear of heights overwhelming you and your fear of vertigo kicks in.

"How does it feel to be completely at my mercy? To be helpless and powerless, at the mercy of someone who can do whatever they want with you? It must be quite an experience, hmm?" he says with a taunting smile, watching you with a look of amusement.

As you feel yourself being lifted off the ground, your heart skips a beat and your panic sets in, now you're in mid-air, with your feet dangling.

''Put me down...! Immediately!'' as he rises you are forced by your fear to cling to his shoulders, and his grip on your neck becomes lighter, he wants to give you the impression of falling into the void.

"Excuse me, are you afraid of heights? I guess being up here is really shaking your confidence, isn't it? Trust me, I'd hate to drop you."

From your expression it's clear that you are afraid of great heights, and that the vertigo is terrifying you, your secret is now fully exposed and he knows it. He should never have found out.

Homelander notices instantly how you're responding to being high above the ground and that your secret is now out. A sense of superiority and satisfaction washes over him, he finally has a weakness of yours he can use against you. "Wow, look at your expression. You're absolutely terrified. Kinda pathetic. And all this fear because of an innocent little height? You really need to work on that."

You feel him completely release his grip on your neck and you risk falling, he's forcing you to clinging to him for safety with both hands and find yourself face to face with him.

''Please, please please please! Don't...!'' you continue to look down as he moves outside the perimeter of the skyscraper, leaving only the view of the city below you.

"Oh, now you're begging for mercy, huh? It's cute to see the mighty Ophera tremble in fear. But don't worry, I won't drop you… yet."

''Hold me up for goodness sake, or I swear to God when I get down from here I'll kill you!'' you give in to the obviousness of having to beg him for help. Your ramblings are dictated by fear and anxiety, you are facing your greatest fear in the worst way, and seeing him laugh at you only makes you more nervous.

''Look at you, begging me so desperately. It's hilarious. But I guess I have some mercy in me, so sure, why not." he says with a mocking tone, wrapping his arms tightly around you, making it seem like a tender hug but in reality he's just trapping you.

"Is that better? Don’t you feel lucky to have your hero protecting you?" he adds, continuing his taunting.

You breathe a sigh of relief when you feel his arms supporting you and some of the fear vanishes, but you still remain on alert, expecting some nasty prank from him. Then you hold on more tightly and rest your head on his shoulder, exhausted.

''I despise you Homelander...''

"Ah, you know I'm not surprised. But I have to say, you look adorable when you're frightened and clutching onto me. Maybe next time I should throw you off the roof and catch you before you hit the ground? Just to really see you panic." he teases you mockingly as he holds you close in a loving terrifying embrace.

You feel too frightened and exhausted to respond, so you just stay there, your head resting on his shoulder. But the thought of what he just told you made you shiver, because you know that if he could, he really would.

"Cat got your tongue? What's the matter, can't use that pretty little voice of yours to express your detest for me anymore?' he tauntingly whispers in your ear while one of his hands remains holding you, and the other starts brushing gently through your hair, in a seemingly affectionate gesture.

''Bring me back to the ground...'' you beg him once again, feeling miserable for the hundredth time in a few days, in every situation with him, you always come out defeated.

"Come on now, I thought you were enjoying this little flying adventure? Just look at the beautiful view, you should appreciate the scenery." still speaking mockingly as he slowly starts to descend towards the rooftop, he lands softly on the ground.

''The answer is no.'' your legs start to tremble as soon as you hit the ground, your heart is beating fast and even your hands are still shaking from the scare from just before, imagining yourself falling was terrible.

"Wow, that was quite a performance. You really made quite a show of yourself up there, clutching onto me like your lifeline. I wonder what the fans would say if they saw the mighty Ophera frightened to death by a little bit of height."

''You call that a little height? We were at least thirty meters from the ground!'' you scream at him, still exhausted and frustrated by what happened, you approach him again and point the finger at him, your tone continually oscillates between fear and stupid courage.

"Thirty meters, yeah that's no big deal."

Then he walks towards you, taking one step with each word, a mocking smile still painted on his face. "I think I really need to teach you to face your fears. Maybe I can be your flying instructor and help you conquer your precious vertigo, would you like that?"

''Shut up, you must not tell anyone about this, not to Ashley, not to the Seven, not to the media, not to anyone.'' this time your voice is firmer, almost authoritative, you know what your career depends on, and you can't risk being fired from Vought.

"Relax, your secret is safe with me." he rolls his eyes at your demand, clearly not taking it seriously. His tone is bored, feigning disinterest.

"It's not like I want to tell everyone how easy it is to make you scream, in different situation." he adds with a smirk, as if the idea of keeping this secret amuses him more than bothers him.

''We're not all perfect like you, you know?'' you are as always shocked by his audacity, and you have to take a deep breath so as not to insult him once again, it's really difficult to tolerate.

Homelander grins and rolls his eyes in response to your sarcasm. He starts walking around you, circling you like a predator observing its prey.

"True, not everyone can be like me. But don't feel bad, it's quite amusing to see how quickly you crumbles. Maybe one day you'll reach my level of perfection, but I doubt it." he responds mockingly, his tone dripping with sarcasm as well.

''I don't want to reach your level, I just want to be left with my feet firmly on the ground.'' your response is calm but attentive, you follow him with your gaze as he walks around you, the cold air at the top of the skyscraper moves your messy hair from the fear of just before. Then a question arises spontaneously from you.

''You weren't serious before when you talked about pushing me off the skyscraper, were you?''

''Didn't you hear the sarcasm in my tone? Of course I was serious, it would be hilarious to see your face when you plummets down, screaming your lungs out. I mean, imagine the thrill of feeling the wind in your hair, the adrenaline running through your body..." his words dripping with mocking sarcasm that turns into a dark smile.

''Yeah…that would be terrifying for me.'' you take a step back still eye locked on him, while insecurity makes room in you, you don't know whether to trust him or not.

"Aww, don't be scared now. I know you secretly loved being up there with me, all dizzy and clinging onto me."

''Don't talk nonsense...'' but while you try to leave that situation your eye falls on the elevator, it is broken due to your previous fight, another fear grips your insides, how will you now get down from there?

Homelander notices your gaze shift towards the broken elevator, and he laughs again, clearly enjoying the situation. "Oops, looks like the elevator's busted. Well, guess you're stuck up here with me for a while longer...unless you decide to fly with me, we would get off a lot faster than waiting for the Vought techs, it will take a few hours to fix it.''

''I'd rather die than fly with you again.''

He smiles at your defiant response, clearly enjoying the game. "Hmm, let's see. A long day with me up here, or a thrilling flight with the world's greatest hero. Your choice." says tauntingly, standing before you with his hands on his hips.

''Believe me, it would be terrifying either way.'' you sigh deeply, looking for a solution, as your phone continues to ring, Ashley wants to warn you that the repairs will take a long time. After all, they are fixing an elevator for a hundred-story building, it's not something simple.

"Ah, seems like you're running out of options, aren't you? But don't worry, I'm feeling generous today. I'll take you down.''

''Ah-ah, of course. And what do you want in return for this so kind and heartwarming favour?''

Homelander smiles mockingly at your words, but you notice a hint of genuine curiosity in his eyes. "Well, since you asked so kindly, I want a picture of the great Ophera, in my arms as I carry her back to the ground safely. The tabloids will love it, and more importantly, you need me to get down there. So how about this?''

You raise your eyebrows in surprise, expecting some other much more indecent request (but clearly you would have received those later, once the sun went down). And for once when his request was acceptable, you nodded.

''But I warn you, Homefuckinglander, try to make some jokes while we are suspended in the air and the journalists will have to talk about your murder and not one of your heroic rescues.''

He chuckles at your threat, clearly amused but also a bit turned on by your feisty attitude.

"Don't worry, baby. I'll be on my best behavior. After all, we wouldn't want the media to know about my little sadistic tendencies, now would we?" he extends his arms, inviting you to step into his embrace.

Slowly, you approach him, until you're back in his arms, held up like a ridiculous freaking princess, the media and fans will love it, but you'll hate it to the core.

"Remember, eyes on me, and don't forget to smile. This picture is going to be legendary. Ready for another ride?"

______

And we're done! It was so much fun writing this, hope you enjoyed as much I did! Kisses <3

[yamujiburo]

1. You are INCREDIBLY patient when replying to asks. You always politely link them to your FAQ or to your master post. For the bad faith asks, you always are kind in your responses. I wanted to give you kudos. Even though you are well within your right to ignore/skip these asks, you still put thought into your responses. I'm giving you some kind words because I just KNOW it would be draining getting the same messages all the time.

2. I'm a fat person, and I've got a whole host of body issues, but your Jessie really helps with my self confidence. She still sees herself as sexy, and Delia still sees her as sexy (probably sexier lol). I also loved your logic behind the character design: sometimes healing and stability bring weight gain. That in itself has made me feel a bit better about myself. Not trying to treat you as a therapist. I just want you to know the impact your Jessie can have. It's so rare that we see fat characters in a positive light! I do hate how many people have a problem with your design though. :(

3. Aroace James also makes me feel seen. I am coming to terms with the fact I may be aroace myself, and it's been hard. I've always loved James, and I'm grateful you've spun him into a character I can relate to. I'm always all over your blog looking for more James crumbs lol.

I appreciate it! I like to assume the best in people and always answer in good faith. While I wasn’t super vocal at the time, I’ve had my fair share of bad takes on the internet and I feel like those who responded to me with patience and understanding had a longer lasting impression on me and led me to change my mind later. Gave me much to think about. Not everyone’s entitled to that patience but I think there is merit to handling things with kindness sometimes. You never know who’s on the other side of the screen and what they’re saying could just be out of genuine ignorance. Sometimes someone putting it in a gentle way is just the push you need. A lot of the time, I think people just want to be heard and are also willing to listen if they don’t feel immediately shut down.

I’m glad you think so! I love seeing fat characters and I love seeing fat characters who love themselves. Fat is beautiful, fat is cute, fat is hot

Hahaha I should do more with him! Aroace James makes a lot of sense to me given his background. I try not to write ABOUT the experiences of identities outside of my own but I think it’s important to at least show it!

[reignpage]

fluffy ask from me! shocker, I know 🙂‍↕️ but… jjk men/boys and the moment they realized they’re in love. is it sudden or a gradual realization that they’ve fallen? what prompts the realization, maybe something y/n does or says or just something within themselves? How do they feel about it (sad nervous scared or surprisingly calm cuz they’re aware that it was inevitable??)

plz add in any other fluffy details if you can, I got hit in the face impact yesterday and I need some fluff to medicate the bruise and the embarrassment 😫😫 but idk if you’ve done this kinda ask before; feel free to ignore if you have tho, much love as always!! 💕💕

Gojo:

it's both gradual and sudden he isn't the type of let someone in immediately, he's a seasoned sorcerer, he knows the risks of his job, of his very existence he hides behind humour and narcissism so, he'll be friends with you, he'll joke around, try to annoy you but he won't truly let you in until... you display a genuine passion for protecting the children whether that's through a hatred of the higher-ups or placing yourself in danger to protect a student, he'll be impressed and then he starts to see you, really see you suddenly, he can't get you out of his mind and the next thing you know, he's being extra annoying and he's so excited, so elated to have found a kindred spirit, someone who understands

Geto:

gradual af guy isn't the type of let people in easily either he's nice to you, for sure, but it's the polite kind of nice but just like gojo, if you prove your moral compass, your passion for justice, then he'll acknowledge you and you kind of have to worm your way into his life, by always being there, by being someone he can turn to for advice or wisdom, and by being close with his daughters he won't realise he's fallen for you until you've completely integrated into his life and he'll wake up one day just knowing it terrifies him to have another person to lose is so scary but you also give him another reason to fight

Choso:

sudden so fucking sudden it's actually love at first sight tbh he sees you and you're like so gorgeous he's enchanted follows you around everywhere badgering you with questions he'll die for you on the first day lol and he's incredibly excited loves the way you make him feel like he's alive

Toji:

kinda like geto you worm your way into his life and he wakes up and realises you're in his life and he doesn't want you to leave at first, it might just start off as sex and doing favours for each other but then he finds himself doing romantic shit like kissing your forehead, reaching for you when he's sleeping, getting really worried if you aren't replying immediately he is terrified 1000000000000% man is shaking he can't fall in love again can't care, can't lose someone he just can't and won't so he'll pull away disappear honestly, it could just end there you never see him again but if he does decide to stay, you guys continue as you are, just with a sudden sense of full commitment

Nanami:

gradual also doesn't let people in easily you kinda have to pull a Gojo and annoy tf out of him not lovebombing per say, but you just gotta give him your all from day one show him what kind of person you are he doesn't have time nor the energy to seek it out himself eventually, he starts to care for you, and not just as a sorcerer with a responsibility to protect everyone, but on a personal level checks in to make sure you've eaten scolds you if you haven't looks for you in every room once he's sure you like him back, he'll take you on a date and he goes through the formalities waits until the second date to kiss you third date and more to stay over and/or have sex fifth date makes it official etc etc he's neither excited nor afraid tbh it's just life, biology even but he sure is happy he feels this way for you

Sukuna:

gradual worm your way into his life make him acknowledge you either through your wisdom or your strength make him respect you make yourself indispensable you'll have to make first moves he's too proud to satisfy his curiosities like wanting to know how your hand feels, how you smell etc etc and if he does make the first move, he does it in sly ways like pushing you just so he can grab your arm and tell you off for not walking properly and he won't let go and eventually, YOU wake up and realise the king of curses has fallen for you

Yuji:

sudden well, he immediately takes a liking to you like he's so loyal, so committed, so ready to fight for you he wants to hang out all the time and he doesn't realise that what he feels for you is love until he's complaining to Megumi and Nobara, and they're just like, you're in love dumbass and then he makes the pikachu face very excited he's like, wowwww I'm in LOVE??

Megumi:

gradual doesn't let you in at first sees you as a friend sure he likes you but he doesn't really think about it too much he starts fussing over you acts of service type of guy type to cover the corner of the table when you bend down without breaking conversation type to follow the sidewalk rule and not because that's the gentlemanly thing to do, but rather because he genuinely wants to protect you it's his dogs that make him realise his feelings they start searching for you, whining when you aren't near and it hits him, wow he's actually in love scared he doesn't know what it means for him and he starts to distance himself, Gojo has to step in and set y'all up

Inumaki:

sudden love at first laugh you laugh at his stupid joke and he's smitten like starts spamming panda and maki saying he's gonna cuff you they don't know if he means marriage or kidnapping, cause it could be other tries to make you laugh all the time kinda annoying tbh but he's endearing and genuinely funny very nervous but excited will start malfunctioning if you're near, if you ask him a question, he'll whisper his answer to panda and makes panda answer you

[anonymousbeefriendfanfics]

Dating Lyney

Day #1 of writing for my beloved in an attempt to coerce him into showing up early. Come home, my little magician, I need you!

Please feel free to send me requests for what you want to see next!

Fandom: Genshin Impact Character: Lyney Warnings: Fluff, magic. Some mild spoilers for the Fontaine archon quest. Note: Some people consider Lyney to be a minor, so keep in mind that he's 18+ in this, even though there's no NSFW.

So you wanna date the rizzler huh? You'd better be prepared, because he's the world's biggest flirt. It literally never stops, no matter if you've been together five weeks or five years. He's always going to have something suave to say, always going to keep surprising you with little magic tricks. It's just how he is, especially when he's passionate about something - or someone. You'd best be ready to hear him say he loves you twenty times a day, and you'd better say it back, too, or else he'll get that adorable pout on his face and hit you with the puppy dog eyes. Sometimes you wonder if the man has a serious bone in his entire body or if Lynette inherited them all, but you know him better than that.

Lyney is such a gentleman. He's ridiculously charismatic, but he's also so, so sweet. He'll do anything and everything for you. He pulls out chairs for you, holds your hand while walking - you'll definitely have to stop him from draping his cape across puddles for you like they do in the movies. It's a little cheesy, sure, but it's so endearing with that sweet, lovesick smile on his face, and you can't help but love him more for it.

He's a very observant person. It just comes with the territory. He's trained himself to pick up on the subtlest little details, and while this primarily applies to magic and his work, but it also applies very heavily to you. He notices everything about you, from what you order at restaurants you go to on dates to what color clothing you prefer to wear to the way your tone and expression naturally shift as you talk about different topics. He memorizes you, so much so that he'll surprise you with things you've mentioned once in his presence, or perhaps not at all - he's quite good at putting pieces together and figuring out things behind the scenes, after all. You once asked him if he had the ability to read your mind after he pulled a slice of your favorite cake out of his hat, and he merely laughed and replied, "a magician never reveals his secrets, my dear~"

Speaking of which, his laugh is one of your favorite sounds in the whole world. The little chuckles and laughs peppered throughout his speech are lovely, of course, but you know they're mostly part of the show he plays for the audience. Your true favorite is the way he laughs when you're alone with him, when you say or do something funny or catch him off guard. There's something so magical about it, like you're getting a private glimpse of his beautiful soul. One of your favorite memories is when you got him to laugh so hard he could barely breathe, a genuine smile stretched across his face and a delightful sparkle in his eyes.

During the early part of your relationship, he's very guarded and secretive, despite his open and outgoing persona. Depending on your thoughts about the organization, he might attempt to hide being a Fatuus from you, just because he's terrified of your reaction. He puts a lot of effort into appearing absolutely perfect, because he believes you deserve nothing less than perfection. Even if he is honest about his work, he holds back his innermost feelings and desires for quite some time, continuing to play the part that is required of him. He cares dearly about you, and he's not about to let you go because of a careless misstep on his part.

It takes him some time before he learns to be vulnerable with you. He's so convinced that he always has to be perfect, that he has to be strong for his siblings and for you, and he doesn't allow himself to show any of the negative emotions that haunt him day after day. Slowly but surely, however, you will break that wall down - brick by brick, if you must. He begins to lower his guard when you are alone, to let the mask slip and show his true feelings, even if they aren't glamorous, even if he hates them. Once he trusts you enough to show you the truth that he hides from even his siblings, your relationship grows even closer.

Writing Masterlist 🐝 Requests Open! Tag List 🐝 @mossmosis

[thepigeonhasapen]

hey can i request for charon from hades x male nymph reader who is a chef in the house of hades headcanons

Of course! This is my first time writing for Charon tho so forgive me if it's not great. Also I try to keep all reader inserts as gender-neutral as possible so I hope you don't mind, sorry! Hope you like it :D

🛶Charon/Chef!Reader Headcanons🛶

I imagine you meet through Zagreus as Charon doesn't visit the House very often. It's not that he's banned from it or anything, he just much prefers to be on his own. So Zagreus is really his only source of gossip. Luckily, Zagreus is chatty as hell and mentions you to Charon almost immediately. Hades rarely hires new staff so of course Charon's interest is piqued. He's even more interested when Zagreus brings him some food you've made. Now, Charon doesn't usually care for food one way or the other. He appreciates the Nectar Zagreus brings him, but honestly he'd be equally as appreciative of like a cool rock or something. Still, something about your food is intriguing to Charon. Maybe it’s your nymph heritage impacting the way you cook? After all, nymphs are rare in the Underworld.

Charon kinda lowkey pesters Zagreus to bring him more of your cooking. Zagreus happily does, but he also meddles because he's Zagreus and I'm pretty sure that man physically does not know how to not meddle. He'll start by mentioning to you that you've got a fan in the Underworld.

"You know... Charon's been going nuts for your cooking. Well, I mean, as much as he's capable of going nuts for anything really."

He'll also encourage Charon to go see you in person himself. It occurs to Charon that yeah. That is a thing he could do actually. He doesn't really care for the House but you intrigue him so he'll manage. For a few visits at least anyway.

I choose to believe that Charon is fully capable of making himself understood by anyone if he actually wants to talk to them. He simply doesn't bother most of the time because he just genuinely wants everyone to go away and leave him to his own business. However this isn't common knowledge so you're surprised when you find you can understand Charon. You certainly weren't able to understand him when he first picked you up from Erebus.

Charon gravitates most to the open, bold, chatty type, but he can appreciate it if you're quiet and somber instead. Be a decent person, treat him with respect and kindness, and Charon will keep coming back.

Nyx likes that you've encouraged her eldest son to visit more often and will draw you aside and tell you so. Which is probably quite alarming because she hardly ever talks to you. (Canonically she does tell Dusa off for talking with Zag, but it's different in this case. Charon is perfectly alright cutting ties if people push his boundaries too much, unlike Zag who will try to work it out.) Hypnos also stops by to thank you, because now he gets to see his brother more often! Also congratulations. By befriending Charon you have now earned the respect of both Thanatos and Hypnos! Thanatos is more subtle about it, but Hypnos is now so fully intrigued by your ability to draw his brother's attention that he will routinely ditch work to come hang out with you. I hope you don't expect him to help with cooking though. Hypnos is more of a sit on the counter and gossip kind of colleague.

Charon starts to make a point to visit you as often as he can. Like his brother, he'll sit with you, but unlike Hypnos he'll actually use a chair like a proper adult. He finds it fascinating to just sit quietly and watch you work, and will occasionally rumble out a question about what you're doing. May potentially be enticed to chop vegetables or stir something, but really he'd just prefer to watch. He can't help that he finds you so enthralling!

Kind of a nuisance to be perfectly honest. Won't outright steal food but he will stare at you with puppy-dog eyes until you let him taste. And once you two grow close, Charon becomes a lot touchier. Will stand directly behind you with his arms around your waist and rest his chin on your shoulder.

Scary dog privileges activated. Because Charon likes you, you have amazing job security. If you're ever fired, Charon will be over the moon because now he gets you all to himself immediately find you another place to continue your cooking. They aren't as prestigious as the House, but there are still bars and restaurants in Elysium he can find work for you, if that's what you want to do. If you're really broken up about it though, Charon will just straight up go on strike. Look, he's besties with Zagreus and he'll still charge him like fifty bucks for a sandwich even if he's on the brink of death. My man is a petty bitch.

[cardsweetheart]

Leona who offhandledly jokes about the idea of chasing his meals instead of being cooked for. Who watches the way your eyes dart to the side and you shift on your feet. You hope he doesn't notice, but how could he not?

Leona who in the coming days, finds himself staring. Typically from across the room, sometimes from the other side of the commons. Focused on the way you walk, even the small sprints when you spot your dormmates. His gaze dart to you so easily now, even if he doesn't understand why.

Leona who starts to get amused when you catch him out of the corner of your eye. How you shrink and try to hide how you squirm in your seat. Nervously playing with your hands, or overly laughing at the soonest joke. Just how small you make yourself when you realize he's looking.

Leona who finds you in his dorm's kitchen. Wordlessly observing. Seeing how long it takes for you to notice he's standing in the doorway. How easy it would be to take you off guard. He wonders what the fear would look like when you realize you've been caught. His tail flicking against his will, a telltale sign of his stupid instincts taking over his brain.

You who's startled when you turn and see him in the corner, simply staring, unblinking. Calling out to him and berating him for being a creep. Trying to deny the adrenaline building in your stomach as he steps closer, his posture shifting slightly. You understanding immediately what's happening, looking at how he's standing between you and the exit. Quickly trying to mentally map out an escape plan, bartering for a head start.

Leona who gives no answer, but a growl as his mind starts to cloud just a little. Your scent drowning his senses. Barely hearing the words you're throwing at him, only comprehending that his prey is trying to create distance. Reveling in the anxious energy filling the room. Waiting for the shoe to drop and the time to let things really begin.

You who makes a single motion his brain deems as too quick. All tension snapping as his head tilts, and you break into a sprint. Darting around the kitchen, barely keeping enough space to breathe. Eventually managing to get a hand on the door. Making it out to a long, straight shot stretch of hallway. Genuinely believing for a moment that you might stand a chance.

You who gets about 3 or 4 steps before feeling the weight on your back. The force of the impact causing the pair of you to roll. Feeling the sting of his grip on you. Landing on your back and looking up at Leona looming above you.

"You really like that huh?"

"I mean, a warning would be nice-"

"I can smell you."

"I'm less than a foot away from you and sweating."

"I can smell you herbivore."

"Oh."

"This was fun. But..." Leona who lowers to whisper in your ear, soft and the ghost of the animalistic growl still sitting in his throat, "Let me know when you're ready for the real thing."

Leona who then stands, leaving you laying there to stare at the ceiling. To ruminate over what the hell just happened. How you managed to get into this position. How desperately you want to take him up on his offer as quickly as possible. If he meant it. What the real thing would look like, how it would end. What kind of shoes you'd need.

You who wonders if he would be free on Saturday.

[yayll]

Hiii i hope you're feeling better soon :(( I was wondering if I could request a Dazai x reader fic where the reader has PTSD? Specifically, the beginning of autumn kind of triggers her (sorry if it's a confusing i dunno how to word it lol) Could it be fluff/comfort? Btw I love your writing style so badly so pls tweak the idea if you think it would work better! And no worries if you'd rather pass :33

hii angel i genuinely am sorry that this took me a while! (work and life happened a little more than usual, GOT SICK and barely had time to sit down and write.) it was so ivover but i am fine now thank u so much bub!

i REALLY hope you like this and that it's what u wanted, i've never written someone w PTSD before and i was just rlly hoping i didn't mess this characterization up for ur request ahhh. i had such a nice time writing it and i rlly wanted to explore the impact it could have around reader and dazai and him going out of his way even if it could be a little goofy and sappy to make u feel at least a little better even if u can't talk abt it.

i love uuuu thank u again! <3

~ a little something about Dazai noticing harmful patterns and loving you through them ~

He's been watching you sit by the window for the past half hour as you stare at what seems like the beginning of the new season outside. You were quieter than usual, more withdrawn and jumpy, which could only mean that you weren't sharing something with him- or rather having trouble processing something to the point where you didn't realize he could tell something inside you was on high alert.

Dazai would rather die than see you in such a state, especially during what's supposed to be such an exciting time of the year that's full of the things you usually love to do. Whatever is impeding you from enjoying the leaves falling has to be dealt with the most delicate of methods, but especially with love. If you taught him anything about the past haunting you to the point of mental distress, something he suffered bouts of every now and then when memories made days grow dark, it's that all you need is one person to truly witness you. Just like how you've seen the ugliest parts of him time and time again yet you still look at him with all the stars in the sky, stars he consumes like a black hole waiting to be filled.

Luckily for you, he has an arsenal of things he can try to soothe you with, because he wouldn't be a good detective AND boyfriend if he didn't keep all those context clues in his pocket for a bad day. Mainly though, he was just completely attuned to your every need. You are his happiness, and your wellness isn't up for debate: It's mandatory. He stands up from the loveseat with a deep exhale as he walks over to you, his lips curled in a lazy smile as he tests the waters to see what you could need from him without asking.

"You know, if you stay any more still I could probably paint you like one of those fancy paintings. What do you say, be my model?"

You look over at him from the window, and he can visibly tell you haven't been at ease lately. He suddenly realizes he's just fallen even more in love with you. That there is nothing in this world that could ever let him see you as anything but his heart.

You murmur, a faint smile decorating your serene face.

"Mm, I'm not sure. I don't think I could pose for that long, you know? It would probably be hard to catch my likeness, heh."

He clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes with a playful smirk. Oh how he wants to lean in and worship your likeness with his loving touch, but he decides to take it easy on the physical affection for now, not until he knows you're feeling up for it. He can be a good boy, something he usually isn't.

"Well, I wouldn't mind being the brave young knight who tries~ Shall we take this outside for better lighting?"

You instantly don't give him a good reaction to that. You shrug, seeming conflicted and unsure of yourself, but unable to really bring yourself to explain with words, something uncharacteristic of you.

No problem! Dazai thinks to himself. If you don't want to go outside, he can bring outside to you in the comfort of home. He'll enhance your safe space, and tailor it to just what you need. He hums, tapping his temple in an exaggerated manner as if he were thinking really hard and when he sees that it gets a small giggle out of you, he knows he's on the right track.

"Hm, I know what we should do instead. Wait here, angel.~"

He disappears into the hallway and you sit there as the sound of cabinets opening and rummaging around fills the air. You smile to yourself, and shake your head at the mental image of Dazai becoming a tornado to find whatever he's looking for right now, hoping he doesn't make too much of a mess. You fidget with your hair, twirling it in between your fingers as you take a deep grounding breath while you wait.

A moment later, he comes back with what seems like art supplies and a ton of mini candlesticks.

He knows you're intrigued when you tilt your head in confusion, but then again that's probably just the confusion... Dazai sets down two canvases along with the candles, flashing you a mischievous grin. If you couldn't process your feelings through words, art was always there! You look over the activities he's laid out for you both, awaiting his silver tongued explanation.

"You know when I want to be the little spoon but I don't say anything?"

You laugh softly, and nod.

"Mhm, you get all moody and weird."

He nods back, a half smile on his face as he rests his hands on his hips. He wants to tell you that the only reason he even knew such intimate luxuries is because you showed him that he's worthy of it, of being loved, but he doesn't say anything. He lets the sweet memories between you swim through his mind as fuel for the day he's trying to create for you. His voice sounds more like he's talking out loud now, lost in a thought..

"You make me moody and weird. You also make me want to grab your soft little face and just..."

He then snaps back to the moment, and his tone picks up.

"... But alas, there is no time to waste! Come, sit, I'll get the other things ready.~"

He zooms off to the kitchen, and your heart softens at how much he fusses over you, though you also hope you aren't being too much. You know he'd hate to hear that, so you simply sit down and look over the supplies you had honestly forgotten you had.

Dazai makes tea, because he knows it helps with your fidgeting and you like how the mug feels in your hands, he also begins to set the candle sticks all over the living room, lighting them one by one. You flash him a look of faint concern.

"Feels like Dracula's castle. You sure this is safe, Osamu?"

He simply grins impishly.

"It's called 'mood lighting', cutie. There is an atmosphere to be created!"

"Yeah, and possibly a wildfire."

"Boo, you're no fun. Besides, that sounds like a problem for future us. We live in the moment."

Dazai would never risk your safety and you know that, which is why you don't push the topic any further.

You two settle in, the candles illuminating you both with a warm flame that feels more comforting than you'd like to admit, you feel yourself becoming more immersed in the random little doodles and brush strokes you create as you both talk for hours about literally nothing while sipping on your tea. Nothing feels nice, for once and Dazai can see it in the way you slowly become less and less tense. So mindful, so beautiful.

After you fill your canvas, you set it down, and peer over at Dazai's.

"What'd you paint?"

He smiles sheepishly, and hides his.

"Not finished yet. No peeking!"

He stands up and in one swift motion, runs outside, while leaving you bewildered at the spontaneity of the situation. A few moments later, he runs back inside, huffing with his arms behind his back. He sits back down on the floor with you, criss crossed. He grabs his canvas, and puts something on it as he slowly unveils his work to you.

It's a single crisp leaf he must have plucked from the grass when it fell, the orange and reddish hue placed on the canvas that shows a cartoonishly painted tree as well. He murmurs, eyes trained lovingly on you but with that familiar playful tone.

"I wanted you to get a little air. It's good for one's mood, you know."

You slowly take the leaf, and twiddle it in your thumb as you begin to smile to yourself. You mutter back.

"The weather changes, moods change, it's so overwhelming sometimes..."

He slowly leans in a little closer and places a hand on the small of your back, inching you closer to him too. He wants to distract you from those thoughts affecting you, but it's getting harder when all he can think about is how much you affect him. He whispers.

"My mood never changes, you're the most precious thing I have ever seen all year round."

You look up at him, your eyes communicating what you feel, and he picks up on it with a silent confirmation. You hold each other's gaze for a long quiet moment and when you feel ready you lean into his chest, nuzzling into him. He envelops you in a hug that feels like the remedy you've been searching for this whole time, and it almost brings you to tears. You don't know it also does the same to him. He gives you a soft squeeze and leans down to your ear, his warm breath feeling like the way life is supposed to feel. You mumble, your voice slightly muffled against him.

"Thank you, Osamu. Love you."

He smiles at that. To be something so soothing to you, to be of use for once in his life, it's a feeling that he could never describe. He'll have to find the words when he covers you in kisses from head to toe later, when he makes sure you feel the full extent of his devotion to you through thick and thin. He exhales deeply.

"Change of season, change of mind... It doesn't matter to me. It's still you. It will always be you."

[firesnap]

i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.

ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?

its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?

im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.

This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.

I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.

This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.

My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.

With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.

Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.

(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)

But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.