#'what if they only get together as adults' they have all lived together in the same house most of the time since she was EIGHT!
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In love with the Wolf
Alpha!Jinx x Fem!Reader
This fic takes place in Omegaverse AU. Mentions of smut, blood, werewolves, violence, angst
This fic is also taking place in another world but with Arcane characters. A Fanfiction written by me. I don’t own any of the characters. Using (Y/N) in this fic as well for Reader.
Enjoy!
Prolouge
Jinx and Vi were both Alpha‘s and sisters. Their relationship wasn’t the best after their father died in an accident. Vi blaming Jinx for it, like she blamed her every time something went wrong. Since that accident both of them parted ways, Vi meeting a beautiful woman, a Omega called Caitlyn. Caitlyn grew up in well known pack, a family with a lot of money, living the fancy life together with Vi in a beautiful place, a mansion. Meanwhile Jinx stayed at their lifestyle they had before. Nothing looked pompous, she had a simple home, a little hideout where she spent her time resting after going hunting or just causing trouble in town. She was known for being a criminal who stole stuff from other werewolves that had a more fancier life or even going in the human town and causing trouble there.
Their father Vander always told them not to get close to the human town. It’s dangerous. Humans and Werewolves had their problems with each other obviously. War between humans and werewolves was always a thing but at that time things got quiet between them. The leader of the whole werewolf nation made a deal with the human one. A deal no one really knew exactly about but it was important for every nation that they stopped fighting and living their own life even tho there were a little outsiders who still caused trouble. Criminals like Jinx. How long will the armistice hold on until everything goes back to chaos again? Only time would tell.
———
„Is that really necessary?“ You asked as you looked at the mirror, your brother Victor helped you adjusting the tie of your new uniform.
„Of course it is. You’re an adult woman now and our government needs more people who take care of the well being of human existence. You have never been the girly girl ever since you were little. You wanted this don’t you remember? Protecting your home?“ He told you as he gave you a smile with a little hint of sadness in it. „I can’t do it because of my disability to walk but you can. Make your older brother proud.“ He mentioned and you smiled, nodding in response. Victor was right. He couldn’t do anything much but you could. Maybe it isn’t that bad and you could use what you will learn to protect your loved ones.
Even if there is no war at the moment there were still some outsiders who caused trouble on both sides, human and wolves. The city must be protected and you grew more proud with your new job, fighting for good all those years you grew stronger and smarter. At least you thought werewolves were bad and they had to be locked away as soon as they get into the human territory. It’s too dangerous letting those ‚animals‘ run free.
All those things got taught to you. All that hatred. But for what cost? Your brother disappeared and you were alone, living only for the well being of your hometown.
You didn’t know what happened to Victor. He just disappeared from one day to another. You made peace with your own mind, convincing yourself of thinking he won’t come back anymore so you will stop being disappointed every day he won’t stand in front of your door, telling you everything is fine.
„Make your older brother proud.“ That sentence from him creeped in your mind daily and you promised him you will make him proud.
You were walking along the streets, the whole morning was rather quiet, not much to do for you as you roamed along the usual are you were positioned on. You were about to take a break when you suddenly heard a loud bang, a building catching fire, your eyes widen as you saw the chaos only a few meters away from where you were standing. „Shit…“ You mumbled under your breath, running towards the building.
You saw a few people running into your direction, away from the fire, some of your coworkers who were located near your route were also on their way to where the explosion happened, helping injured people out of it.
You decided to get in, trying to find more possible injured people but you didn’t see anything, coughing as you inhaled the smoke of the fire which also made it hard for you to see anything. In the middle of the chaos you saw a figure sitting in the middle of the room you were standing. It was a female, giggling to herself insanely before she noticed your presence, pink glowing eyes looking straight into yours. Her grinning widely so you could see the tip of her fangs. She was one of them…
„What the hell are you doing!? Get outta here!“ You shout at her, not caring if she was one of the wolves. She was still a living being. Sometimes you thought you are too soft for this job but letting anyone die wasn’t one of your things to do. „Why? Don’t you love the chaos? I do like it. Because that’s all I can do right. Causing chaos and trouble.“ She answered and your eyes widened, realising she was responsible for that.
„Why???! Why did you do that? I mean-…fuck it!“ You grumbled, knowing it was pointless asking her that. When you heard the ceiling above you cracking, something snapped in your mind and you rushed to grab the other womans arm and dragging her out of here, she squirmed into your grip, clearly not wanting you to touch her but you didn’t care at this point. Just the moment you both got out, the building crushed together.
„Don’t fucking touch me!“ She growled, you having other plans though. „Are you kidding me? You are arrested.“ You said before a coworker joined you, his expression almost scared as he saw your grip on the other womans arm. „How…did you get her?“ He asked before taking the handcuffs, making sure to put them around her wrists, you both having a hard time to make her stay still but you somehow managed it together.
„What? Why are you so shocked? Isn’t that my job?“ You asked him and his answer kind of surprised you. „That’s Jinx. You have never heard of her? She is well known for doing crimes. You will get a huge price for catching her!“
Your eyes widen in surprise. That woman was Jinx? She didn’t even try to fight you but why? Why was she so easy to get? Something is definitely off here. Jinx didn’t even look at you both, she looked to the ground, looking at absolutely nothing. She looked empty and sad. She did give up so quickly it made you wonder why or was it a trick?
Ever since that day you couldn’t stop thinking about Jinx. You wondered why she didn’t try to escape from you, she could easily turn into her wolf form and escape also the colour of her eyes…that pink colour. Usually werewolves had golden eyes, why were hers so…unique? You wanted to know more about her.
It was your free day but you still made your way to the cells, the urge to see Jinx again and getting to know more about her was just too intense. You knew she probably wouldn’t want to talk but at least you could try. Maybe you could also understand how that species is thinking and if they really are this bad. You always believed in the good in people and you wanted to give it a try.
When you stood in front of her cell you saw her being all curled up in the corner, her long blue hair hanging over her face you could barely see her. The walls of the cell were covered in scratch marks, telling you she probably freaked out in there. You didn’t even habe to say anything, she could sense your presence, her head slowly lifting to look at you, thise eyes already made you feel lost in them. Her gaze was tired, she was tired. Probably from crying, her dark makeup all smudged, cheeks stained with dried tears. „What do you want? Judging me?“ She grumbled but you didn’t answer yet. You crouched down to be the same level as her, showing her you don’t wanna do anything bad. „I want to understand you.“ You finally spoke with a soft voice, making her grunt in return. „No one understands me.“ She said, both of you staying silent for a while before she finally decided to say something.
„I lost everyone. My father is dead because of me fucking up…my sister blaming me for everything that ever went wrong and left me for a fancy bitch that hates me, everyone hates me. What’s the point of trying to keep a living? Nothing. I have no one.“ Her sudden openness was surprising but you understood the part of having no one. „You know…I have no one as well…my brother…he is gone. I don’t know if he is even alive anymore. Our parents died when we were younger.“ You mentioned, looking at Jinx who hugged herself as her nails digged into her upper arms, making her bleed. „You don’t understand half of what I am feeling.“ She continued pushing you away with her words but you stayed stubborn. „So all of this chaos because you have no one?“ You dared to ask and she snorted, snapping her head up as she looked at you, her eyes filled with rage but also with pain. „I wanted to show them all! I wanted to show what I can do! But…I always end up fucking up so I accepted that this is all I can do. I can’t do anything good.“ She snarled before getting up, walking towards you as she grabbed the metal rods of the cell. „What do you even know? You’re just a human.“
„Maybe I am just a human.“ You said before standing up as well, looking directly into her eyes. „You decided to cause trouble here. That’s not your home, that’s just not right. Of course we have to do something about it don’t we?“
„A human killed my father! My fault or not he died by a humans hands! I hate you! I hate what you are!“ She kept on yelling at you, her rage radiating a lot of power but you stayed calm. „You would have been arrested in your own home as well by doing that crime. You can’t blame every human for what they have done to your family. I do believe that if we would work together instead of wanting to erase each other we will have a much more peaceful life.“ You explained, her expression still angry but surprisingly she listened to you. „Jinx. You can do better than that I know it. I don’t care what you are. You are unique. Please remember my words okay? Think about it.“ You said before turning to leave, hoping Jinx will really think about what you told her. Maybe you had a chance to get her convinced to use her intelligence and powers for good. Just maybe.
To be continued
I hope you enjoyed the first part!! It’s more of an introduction but dw part 2 will come soon! Let me know if you like this story and wanna see more. I have a lot for you incoming. ❤️
#x reader#fanfiction#female reader#x fem!reader#short imagine#lgbtq#arcane#arcane fanfic#jinx#jinx x fem!reader#jinx x y/n#jinx arcane#jinx x reader#arcane fandom#arcane imagine#g!p#omegaverse#alpha beta omega#werewolf
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and btw could u maybe start an series with an assistant x Timothée ?
Beyond Business-part one//t.c.
Warnings: cursing, mention of alcohol and drug use
“Timothée, you have the power to end this, any time you want to, so why don’t you?” you asked, waking into his home with him.
“You don’t get it, okay? It’s more complicated than you know.” he grumbled, heading to the fridge, opening it up to grab a bottle of beer.
“Timmy you reek of alcohol, do you really think you need more?”
He gulped down some of the cold liquid, stopping to glare at you, “As if it’s any of your business. You’re not my mother, y/n, just go home.”
As harsh as he was, he was right, he was your boss, and you weren’t friends. Your concern could only go so far before it was too personal.
Neither of you said anything more, Timmy left the kitchen, you assumed he was headed to crash in his bedroom after nursing on the brown bottle.
You left his apartment, reflecting on the past year of your life as Timothée Chalamet’s personal assistant. As you drove home, you remembered how goofy and lively he was when you were first hired. Now, he was becoming a hollow shell of that man.
He had been in a relationship with Kylie Jenner for nearly a year before you met him. But as time went on, after spending time with him, you wondered to what extent the relationship was real, or if it could qualify as a relationship at all. It seemed, to you, more of a situation-ship.
For the last six months, you saw Timmy become more dependent on alcohol and weed to help his moods. These days he was working crazy hours, traveling all over promoting his latest film. He was skinnier than you had ever seen him, and he was obviously tired as well. You, along with other people in his life, were worried about him.
The bad thing is, he is a grown man and he is going to do what he wants. He cannot be controlled any more than any other adult. So, for the most part, you felt as if you were watching him destroy himself and you were powerless to stop it.
.......
Timmy was bright and early with his apology text the next morning.
"hey, I'm sorry about last night. I shouldn't have been such a dick to you. especially not you, you don't deserve that. Let's have a good day together, yeah?"
You knew that he did not have the energy to hire a new assistant if you were to ever quit. He needed you, you both knew that. So you answered just a moment later.
"Okay. Want coffee after I'm finished running errands this morning?"
"Yes please! Thank you." he texted back immediately.
A couple of hours later, you made it to Timmy's place after picking up his dry cleaning, some groceries, his mail, and two coffees, one for him and one for you. You let yourself in with your copy of his key.
As you carefully carried the armfuls of items, you saw him drying his hair with a towel in the living room. "Hey, let me help." he said, dropping the towel on one of the couches and hustling over to you.
"Thanks." you said, and together you set all of the bags and the coffees onto the kitchen island. Carefully, you lay his garment bag flat on the surface.
"No, thank you for doing all of this." Timmy insisted, taking his attention from the items on the counter to look in your eyes.
You felt like his green eyes were piercing into your soul. This was the real Timmy. He had showered and sobered up from the drunken night before. "Well, it is my job."
“I know, but I’m still really grateful for you. Not everyone would put up with me for as long as you have.” he smiled.
You returned a smile to him, then said, “I should get these groceries put away.” you grabbed one of the bags, “But go ahead and tell me what’s on the agenda for today.”
As you started taking items out of the grocery bag, he cleared his throat, saying, “Oh, um, I just got some calls to make, so if you’d go through and answer emails for now that’d be great. After you’re done in the kitchen of course, I mean, no rush.” Between his sentences, he was also unloading the bags.
“Okay.” you giggled at him trying to help you, “I can get this, Timmy, you go make your calls.”
"Yeah," he set down a can of coffee, "yeah, okay." He gave you a soft smile before turning to leave the kitchen.
To you, he seemed almost...nervous? The vibes with him were different today. Not bad, just different. You didn't know what was up with him, but it was not your place to pry.
.......
A little bit later, you sat at his dining room table, replying to his vast number of emails on his laptop. In between calls, he would look through a script and read over his business contracts.
It began to feel like a normal workday again. Every once in a while, you would ask him a question and he would answer you and vice versa. He was himself.
"Alright, thank you, bye." Timmy ended another phone call. He sighed; it had been hours since he started. You knew that he was exhausted from talking to people for the day.
You peaked up from the laptop screen, still expertly typing your email message. Timmy made his way over to you.
As you typed, you heard his footsteps coming closer, until he was right next to your chair. You hit 'send,' and went on to another email, as nonchalantly as you could.
He leaned down, his hands on the table, his arms caging you on either side. You stopped, turned your head slightly to look at him, your heart was beating so fast.
January 5, 2025
Happy New Year, guys! Let me know if you’re excited for this new story!❤️
@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @softhecreator @tchalamss @lixzey @bitchyunknownuser @ducktapebar @aoi-targaryen @yukideadinside @elloise0 @thatoneweirdgirl17 @mel-vaz @sammy-halpert @iwishchalamet @that-one-fangirl69 @jindongdongie @briefkittenearthquake @imnotoverlyobsessive
#timothée chalamet#timmy chalamet#timothée imagine#timothee x reader#timothee fanfic#timothee chalamet#personal assistant#slow burn
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Owari no Seraph Chapter 143 - Analysis and Review. SPOILERS Ahead
今日は皆さん。久しぶりですね。
Hey everyone, it's been a while hehe...Soo, given that the chapter was released in Japan, we'll have to wait until it gets released on this side till Jan 10th. Nevertheless, I want to give an insight.
P.S: As usual, ships are excluded and everything's held within a neutral view.
The chapter starts retaking from chapter 142, an encounter between the Shinoa Squad and the 5th Progenitor Ky Luc. There is an eventual fight of willpower given that Shinoa is aiming to turn Ky Luc into a cursed gear from the black series so Mitsuba can wield. Along this, we have a flashback on which it is revealed as to why Ky Luc followed Urd Geales with utmost loyalty.
The reason behind is because Urd wants to die. But not die like a demon but as a human. To reach mortality in order to die like the human he was born.
Upon hearing such dream, Ky Luc was amazed by such dream, promising himself to carry on and live until Urd fulfilled his dream.
Given this, Ky Luc's will was all that kept him from turning into a demon, nevertheless, given that Shinoa was devouring him as well, Shinoa was able to feel his feelings and memories, making her overwhelmed, nevertheless, the squad was there for her so she could manage to turn Ky into a demon.
She apologizes to him for that and at the end we have an Owari Kaisen. [Shinoa made the new demon as two fingers. Don't ask what the author was thinking cause Idk either haha].
As for the end of the chapter, Shinoa now knows what Urd and Rigr are thinking along Yuu's location.
Analysis
First of all, many might consider or may think that the portrayal of strength between Shinoa and Ky Luc was unfair along that her power up was random...
I will say that the way things are paced is not exactly the best. The story is reaching its eventual end and yes, there are things that could have been detailed much better or polished nevertheless, let's not forget details that have been from the very beginning.
What do I mean?
Ever since the LN were published, it has been stated that Shinoa is far stronger than other characters. That includes Mahiru, Guren, the adults even by Shikama. But why's that?
Simple, Shinoa has had the ability to accept demons without losing her heart, without needing to do trials like other wielders as seen in old chapters and the last one which was chapter 102 till chapter 106. [That's when Yuu fought went to save Mika, then fought against him to make him his cursed gear].
Now, following suit, why did Shinoa never do such task when she had the power but chose until now?
Well, it all goes with the narrative but also with her emotional development. What do I mean?
Perhaps people what makes them feel like something's wrong is not only the narrative but also the building of "expectation". Long ago, I was actually pissed, angry or rather upset with how things turned in OnS in terms of story, I felt no motivation to write or the sort but then, along a friend, we started to consider other aspects from what we actually expected but rather, what the characters were displaying emotional wise and rationality wise.
Which means, the characters are driven regarding how they feel, what they aspire, what they want, along what they know about their own selves.
With Shinoa, she thought she had found out what she wanted, she thought that because she had fallen in love and was together in a squad, she had truthfully lived when in reality, she was taking the baby steps required to live.
As Kouhei Kadono's LNs suggest. In order to have the right to die, you must live first.
But returning to the topic. Shinoa had a massive advantage against Shikama not because of raw power alone. It was first seen she could take any demon into her and use them (LN which came to portrayal on chapter 133). But let's remember that Rigr made certain Shikama's powers were constantly restrained due to the place they managed to create, giving Shinoa an advantage.
In the case of Ky Luc, Shinoa was able to bust her own teammates so they could actually pull a fight against a beast like Ky Luc.
Her being able to know how to create a demon, this was shown in early chapters when Mikaela turned into a demon. Knowledge is power and in a war where life is at stake, such knowledge comes in handy.
The next question, why did Ky Luc lose if he was powerful?
One of the topics that it's heavily touched in Ky Luc's backstory is that Ky had no sense of why he wanted to live. He had a bind that all he knew was that he had to survive. Ky fought through life to survive but not until he met Urd Geales, did he find a first thing to live for. Nevertheless, he is living for someone but not living for himself. What do I mean?
Usually, the story tends to portray how characters want to be recognized, how they want to be seen to someone else's eyes along how people start gathering around them. But the other side of the coin is, what is exactly to live? What does living exactly mean?
It's not just about living for someone but actually finding a reason for your own. It is a delicate thread between selfishness along personal love, it's hell after all. It's finding in a desolate land a reason as to why one's self is existing and living. Even during hell, or during the trial called life, people find meaning, they find things to do, to enjoy, to aspire for, to spend time with, to cry for, to lament for, but to grow for as well.
Ky Luc's human clock stopped, the reason he lost was because he always believed that vampires would be the strongest of their kind, never considering what divided humans and vampires. What exactly made humans be special yet frightening, but rather, he thought as long as he fought, as long as he made himself stronger, he wouldn't lose. But it was a different day there...Ky Luc had a past stained with blood and I'm not going to say he's a justificable character, but rather fascinating, how despite the mind along the ideals can set someone to see light, for others such light only reflects darkness.
As for the final point. The squad's role
For sure, the way they got their power up was not exactly the best developed point but given that the story had to move on, that's what we got. Shinoa being able to access to the First Progenitor's powers is what allowed her to give her team a chance to fight given that the protagonist is broken in terms of power as well, so there must exist a balance in power scale.
But, what is there to need to be discussed with the squad?
Their union.
One of the things that's been visible is that once Yuu left, the squad had a turnoil of emotions, distress, sadness, along feelings akin to feeling lost.
Like lambs who were waiting for the lead to guide them, but given that someone stood there, a new beacon began to shine. But instead of following Yuu and Guren; they began to follow a beacon to a new path. One on which they could dictaminate what they wanted to do with their lives.
Kimizuki, Yoichi and specially Mitsuba, have displayed growth despite few chapters passing by; they do treasure the family they have, they love Yuu but they are living in the present. They are not tied to what happened millenia ago, they want a better world, a world that lets humanity prosper and end the eternal hell they've been subjected to endure but among this, the real creation of bonds has been visible. The squad supporting each other, working together along ensuring each other is alright is one of the most precious things that can be witnessed.
As a side note
I usually complained about Mitsuba's poor development...but right now, her worrying about Shinoa, showing what it is to be a caring friend, what it means to give support for someone you hold dear. It means there is progress instead of blindy following. I hope we get to see interactions between Mitsuba and Ky Luc with time along constant development with the members of the squad.
What do you think about this? Let me know.
It's alright if you don't like it, just remember, respecting each other is what leads to good conversations.
#owari no seraph#ons#owari no seraph spoilers#hiiragi shinoa#shinoa hiiragi#mitsuba sangu#shiho kimizuki#yoichi saotome#yuuichirou hyakuya#urd geales#rigr stafford#ky luc#ons chapter 143 spoilers#ons chapter 143#beware spoilers#ons analysis and review#what do you think?
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Day 30: fic on your TBR that you’re most excited to read
📚 Go up to Gilead by anonymous
Draco/Harry, 107k, E
Written for: H/D Erised 2024 @hderised
Summary:
Harry Potter’s sense of purpose drops dead with Voldemort. So does Draco Malfoy’s freedom. Nine years later, Harry’s still a soldier. Draco’s still a sacrifice. Harry’s going to die in his Auror uniform, and Draco doesn’t deserve to live. But when the clock runs out on Draco’s sentence, a new one starts ticking. As it was, so it will be: they’ll survive together, or not at all.
Just looking at the summary and the tags, I know it’s going to ruin me. Can’t wait :D
📚 Dwelling by aideomai
Draco/Harry, 83k, T
Summary:
Curses, James and Lily Potter ride again, several Ministry balls, a teenage Summer of Love, a grim young adult dystopian winter, a few different Draco Malfoys, secrets and the problems re: not having any, alternate lives, impossible lives, real lives, allusions to Dirty Dancing, and just because it's not called the Mirror of Erised doesn't mean you shouldn't know better.
After devouring Far From The Tree, I can’t wait to read everything aideomai has ever written
📚 The Pain From an Old Wound by anonymous
Draco/Harry, 30k, T
Written for: H/D Erised 2024
Summary:
Getting hit with a mysterious blood curse is all in a day’s work for Harry Potter. Having to work with his former colleague, rival, bully, and boyfriend, is not. Harry’s not sure which is going to do him in first: the curse sucking his magic dry, or Draco Malfoy, as frustrating, condescending, and painfully attractive as he’s always been.
Exes to lovers! Curse breakers!! Case fic!!!
📚 Mirror, Me by @kamaela
Draco/Harry, 18k, E
Written for: H/D Tarot Fest @hd-tarot
Summary:
Harry’s current predicament is, he can admit, rather dire. Being caught stalking aside, he thinks his nose might be broken. Humiliation licks up his rigid spine, but along with it is a prickle of ill-advised anticipation, a foolish thrill at what Malfoy might do. Harry is a little lost. His house is rejecting him and his friends and family are busy and moving on. To cope, he turns to what’s tried and true; following Draco Malfoy. The first time was an accident. Sort of.
This sounds like my favourite post-war Harry, lost in the world, with Draco somehow always in his way ^^
Honorable mention
Guys, I have 16 pages of „marked to read” works. 113 opened AO3 tabs. And a full ‘to read” tag on my tumblr. With all those fantastic fests going on, those numbers only keep growing. So just a quick shoutout to all the creators – THANK YOU for sharing your works and time and effort with us and making our days better!! <3
And of course huge thanks to @hprecfest mods for this prompt!
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I think that the party's communication issues can be summed up as "man, is it awkward to tell someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with them if you've only know them for a few months? Probably."
#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#listen they will kill for each other but also its such a short time???? like??? thats part of the tragedy tbh#like!!! yeah theyll go back to their previous lives bc who in their right minds throw out everything they were doing before for people youv#only known for a few months and it turns out all of them do bc theyre insane for each other but!!!! like!!!! thats still a big ask!!!!!#yeah lets throw out everything we've ever know to be together lets fucking go and then they do in the end!!!! but!!!#thats because theyre all are ride or die to the extreme for each other!!!!!! far more than siffrin thinks anyone will ever be for him!!!!#anyway I have a lot of feelings about the party and just how bonkers (affectionate) they are#yeah no siffrin I too would not expect people to put aside their previous lives especially if its clear they have other plans#'yeah im gonna invite myself over to your house to live here lol' yeah no I would not assume that!!!!!!!#the issue is more that issue doesnt communicate what he really wants because if they do and his family says no then... being together truly#will end so he doesnt ask so they never will get a no so it never has to end (and has his reason to keep going)#this is turning into an essay in the tags but like. God its a wild set of circumstances so#tbh Siffrin not thinking the party wants to travel together is not wild to me neither is family not communicating#them wanting to be together ALL OF THEM wanting it is... unbelivable in these circumstances#but they do bc theyre all insane and ride or die but the extent of which is a mystery to all of them#anyway thats my essay in the tags#just read the no loops fic where the adults minus siffrin all offer to bring bonnie to bambouche and had FEELINGS about it#my posts
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icl i would be at least a little happy with almost any ending for stranger things but one thing that would ruin all of it would be an epilogue (of a decade or more later)
#it would just kinda ruin the fun of imagining them doing whatever tf i want them to these days yk#like even if everyone got together the way i wanted them and got the jobs i think fit etc it would still just kill the creativity#+ even the small things would annoy me like what if i just don’t like what one of them named their kids. or dresses like in 20 years#maybe i wanted them divorced by then but that would’ve angered the fans#maybe i wanted to imagine that single person’s future spouse myself (or keep them single in my head)#what if i want them to recover from this or that or still be working on it. what if i the adult/older actors look shit#anyways point is do not do an epilogue timeskip of more than 5/6years PLEASE i am begging u duffer brothers#stranger things#byler#<- u guys get me on this yk#even if byler isn’t canon at the end i can still at least imagine they do in uni or in their 30s or whenever#as long as there isn’t some fucking scene where mike and el r old and married in 2023 or something#would just kinda ruin all of it; making us see them as old ass adults with their entire lives set it stone yk#manifesting a few month/year timeskip where everyone gets a happy ending isn’t all “and then they lived a nice life in this specific way”#and especially manifesting that we don’t get an#“i haven’t seen you guys in decades how’ve you been? sucks that erica died in a car crash last year. she was almost 40”#type epilogue (if we must have one)#like no hate to amphibia and that one 80s movie but it just kinda makes what happened before a bit pointless if it focused on their#relationships at all#like cool we spent years watching these friendships grow and adapt only for u to go “yeah and we’re strangers now soz :)” like ok so none o#that lasted#idgaf if it’s “realistic” if i wanted realistic representation of childhood friends into adulthood id think about real life and shit#idk random rant if they do any of this shit i WILL kill all of them and then myself#ryan shut the fuck up
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Still haven't messaged my mom back. And I don't think I'm going to.
#you know how they say time makes you look on the past with nostalgia and that's why elderly people think so fondly of past decades? not me#there are moments I look back on with nostalgia sure but the overwhelming feeling of looking back on my childhood is just whatever I do#wherever I go whatever happens that will not be my life again. my memory is long I made a promise to myself I intend to keep I don't forget#support you having your grandkids if their mother is deemed unfit yes. take the older two myself if it comes to it yes. move provinces to#live with you to look after the five of them together where you would be my only adult connection and there's a language barrier and I have#no work history and I'd be between five hours and nine hours away from any other connection I have answer's an absolute fucking no. I've#seen how you are with my sister how you were with my brother. who do you think they call when they've had enough of you? do you not#remember most of the beatings I took was because I was standing between you and my brother? of course not because according to you you#never did beat me but if you think I'm not aware that would turn on me again the second I'm no longer distant and just visiting if you#think you'd find nothing to complain about because you've built up this golden child ideal of me in your head and want to forget how it was#when I was actually in your care you are very very wrong. I remember. I know that inconveniences a lot of people who want to forget#unpleasant things about themselves. me too to be honest I have memories I wish I could erase but I can't especially with regard to my#sister. I defended my brother but not her. not enough. and it's probably why I give so much to her now more than I should because it's#enabling but it is what it is I guess. I won't use my memories against anyone just for the sake of it but I absolutely fucking will#to protect myself or others. you want a redemption arc without admitting to anything? keep being patient and kind towards#your grandchildren even if you end up having to take them and if you can't do it for all five of them then accept that it's better for the#older two to be with me. that's it. those are your options: the older two are with me so you only have to look after the younger three or#you need to buckle down and learn from your past mistakes to look after the five of them and all that is *if it even comes to that* which#as things are it's not in danger of that! it was a regular fucking visit to monitor the situation that's all; they're not getting taken#literally every time she freaks out about something it's a 50/50 chance it's actually something or she's invented a completely#twisted version of events
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Noooo…… first it’s Yuuta and Shoko, now they’re yo-yoing back around to Megumi.
#no they’re bashing megumi even more than ever now…. sometimes some characters aren’t built for all of THIS AND ITS OKAY#he’s forever traumatized bro he just lost his sister in front of his eyes and his body was the one that killed her#same situation with Gojo who took care of his sister and he from when they was toddlers and up#megumi doesn’t want to live anymore and yuuji has already tried getting through to him he’s completely broken and even if he’s saved megumi#might not ever be the same#I feel like fans keep on forgetting that these are kids going through all of this stuff that even some of the hardest adults wouldn’t be#able to handle#they bash him but a lot of these same ppl forget what happened to getou and love him unconditionally#they’d say “’well other characters have lost a lot as well and they’re still trying!’ and I just have to#restate that again; simply not every character is built like some hard boiled shounen badass jjk is not the usual shounen that a lot of#fans still refuse to see tbh like it’s kind of built different 🗿#it’s core genres are literally horror/psychological horror like no one if gonna be bouncing back like Naruto bro#and in Naruto’s case he never got to see anyone precious to him die in front of him#who knows what Naruto would’ve went through if sasuke was killed in front of him#but then again#Naruto was already a crazy ass#he vowed to kill sasuke and die with him so nvm#but megumi ISNT crazy like that that’s the difference ajsjsjsj#he’s always been one of the more rational characters amongst his peers#he’s so normal!!! everyone else is fucked up or got larger personalities than he does#maybe ppl are pissed off at the fact that megumi simply isn’t fighting back… it’s frustrating but he’s in pain bro#I don’t see him making it out alive at all either if I’m being real#Yuuji might be one of the only characters to survive at this rate I doubt Yuuta is even going to pull through after the techniques 5 min#are up either…#rambling#the point it…… as sad as it may sound all of the characters fighting so hard now are doing so because they simply have to#Sukuna is literally a calamity and these are the only characters left who will even stand any chance against such a great entity#they don’t have much of a choice man#Gojo tried to prepare his students for the future so that they’ll be strong enough to fight back anything together. not alone#Everyone is doing what they can now
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waking up from a poorly timed nap to my friend once more making the worst possible life choices
#lily talks#i don't want to be pessimistic but GOD#that message made me close my eyes and turn around again#woman is dating the worst man to ever exist and she just moved to another city to live with him#this is unfortunately a trend and it doesn't matter what i say on the topic#and yeah she's an adult and all but jesus this will only end in disaster#i will never forget her introducing me to this guy and telling me about him which featured the world famous sentence 'oh he's alright#'he just doesn't respect me'#said in the calmest tone ever#LIKE???????? GIRL??? WHAT?????#and it is 100% true#this guy does not give a shit about treating her with any respect from what i've seen and essentially wants her to drop any interestes and#ambitions she has to be his wifey and stroke his dumb ego#we are talking him getting 'jealous' over her going to univeristy to get a degree because that means she doesn't have time for him 24/7#every interaction i've had with this dude made my skin crawl and want to leave the room asap#it was unbearable#and i told her that i think he's an ass#obviously didn't care#and now they're fucking living together and she more or less invited me over#bei aller Liebe aber nee#(there are no words in english)
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i know there are a lot of instances where fans will say characters are canonically adoptive siblings/family when they arent really canonically speaking and it can get annoying but i dont think this is the case when it comes to noodle (gorillaz) and her bandmates. even if i think the fandom sometimes tries to slot their relationships too hard into strict unwielding nuclear family dynamics in a way i find inaccurate and less interesting, the problem with shipping noodle with her bandmates is not even primarily the fact she has been written referring to them as her family members in numerous interviews but rather the fact that if you interpret any of the older gorillaz members as forming a romantic connection with her then you are recontextualising them as a fucking creep given the whole them being her caretakers from the age of 8 thing
#'what if they only get together as adults' they have all lived together in the same house most of the time since she was EIGHT!#they are all in-universe celebrities and she was specifically a child star within that workspace/home who met the others as adults#and was basically raised by them. she still canonically lives with them as a 33 year old which i think would make implications even worse#any attempt to wring charming and cute romance within that falls flat at the first hurdle. i cant believe people still debate it sometimes#like this isnt some deep interview lore cut this is apparent from having a vague idea of the gorillaz chronology#you dont need to know she considers 2d her brother to notice that she is a child on the first album and he is not. lmfao
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siiiiiiigh
#i am in fact a grown adult who is still incapable of talking about their feelings and thoughts to people so I'll just rant here#my relationship with my mother is. so weird. it's not always bad but it always ends up bad for one reason or another#she can be perfectly civil and i'll still be irritated. other times i do try to tolerate it and engage and she ends up saying something#upsetting to me either way.#i don't want to keep being rude to her i don't want to get mad and annoyed all the time but i just can't stop. it's always like this#and i hate myself for it and i hate her and i hate everything about it#today i was leaving for work and she was like. i'll take the trash out of your room and i told her not to do it. she kept insisting and i#had to raise my voice at her to maybe get the point across to get her not to touch anything#and yes my room is a fucking mess and it is something to be embarrassed of. i just feel so fucking tired all time time and i keep tellin#myself that i will clean it this time for sure and then i don't. most of the time it's my mother taking care of it without my permission#and i am grateful for it bc nobody likes living in a mess... but i also fucking hate it because it makes me feel even more worthless#i just can't get rid of the feeling of shame. no matter what i do.#and back to the mother thing. i told her that if she touches anything i will go to her room and throw out anything that isn't nailed down#even though objectively i have no reason to oppose her helping me#but i also fucking hate it#maybe being rude is the only way to get it across. but also i get irritated about anything so easily#i feel shittier and shittier every day. had there been an easy and painless way of killing myself i would have done it already#and despite how much i want to blame this on a disorder or lack of access to medication. there is no magic pill that would fix me is there#i'm just a shitty person who cannot get it together despite everything being handed to me#i'm literally bad at anything and everything. i'm not even a good blogger lmao#people have it much worse in life and still do better. me? i'm useless. there's no helping it. i should have died from covid or something#nobody will save me. nobody cares enough. besides one person whom i push away because i can't stand her and i don't even know why ����#if i stop messaging people first most of them would forget about me#i am alone. a lonely person in a messy room desperately trying to be entertaining so someone will pay a little bit of attention to me.#not to mention the geopolitics#i won't even go there. i hate the possibility that people might see it mentioned and give me shit for it#one more thing that is apparently my fault. directly or indirectly#all i want is to leave this country. spend the day with someone who cares for me like an actual friend. and then shoot myself so i don't#have to go back#sealene.txt
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#I'm literally never going to own a home of my own#I'm going to live and die in the same house as my parents and I'm never going to have my own space to call my own#to make my own or to spread out and have my own space#People wonder why I don't feel like a fucking adult#and I can tell them plain as day that it's because I live at home with no job and all I do all day is draw read and look at fucking#fictional shit all day#sure I work on the property but so fucking what#I'm still just wasting away at home with no life no friends nothing to do#I dont want to volunteer anywhere because it's only hard labor shit and I cant physically do those things#and the only other volunteer shit around me is church stuff and I will NOT be helping any churches anywhere fucking ever for anyone#idk#I try to meet people and I have nothing to talk about#everyone else seems to be having their own lives with shit going on and multiple social circles and here I am unable to even string togethe#more than two sentences because it usually only takes that long to get to “so what do you do?” and I have to figure out a way to explain#that I'm living at home with no job no friends and no life in a way that doesn't look fucking pathetic as fuck#I'm not well educated so I just fall behind in most conversation#I can't contribute so whats the fucking point#The only people I have to talk to are my parents because what else am I gonna do? I can't keep complaining to you guys all the time#not like it's going to change anything#if anything it will just make people avoid me more for always being a fucking downer all the time#my parents vaguely get my frustration but they can't do anything#not like we have money or connections of any kind so there's no 'setting me up' with other people my age#honestly I just wish the fucking internet would go away#maybe then more people would get out of their houses and go outside and meet people#idk i'm just fucking done with everything#I'm so numb and so tired and so lonely and I don't know what it is I want because every time I meet someone knew it's like I can't get clos#I don't feel ready for a relationship but I also feel like I'm fucking wasting away alone by myself and I really crave closeness#but I'm also not a dating person#I'm not here to waste another 5 years to someone just fucking around#i want a life time relationship
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you know what i would love to be an option in bg3? making your own party member. like Icewind Dale style. choose their class, voice, appearance and travel with them. obvs i understand why they didnt, but it wouldve been so fun to have the option to make your own member, esp if they could be incorporated into your backstory. a sibling, parent, spouse, adventuring buddy, best friend.
#this being spurred on by my want of my pc sabine being joined by my drow pc schezelle#have been working on them more (made sabine a lathander paladin as that made more sense and schezelle a seluné worshipping sorcerer)#they both knew each other through mutual friends becore being kidnapped in baldurs gate. while sabine was an experienced adventurer#schezelle only recently escaped the underdark after betraying her family after being rescued by members of sabines adventuring party#so all this kind of danger is very new and scary for her. i have her at about 70#(young adult in elf years) and sabine a half elf at 45.#whereas sabine follows the canonical romance line with shadowheart#schezelle falls for astarion and supports him unequivocally but gets trapped into a relationship with him when she helps him ascend and#his alignment/the relationship as a whole changes. after the tadpole is removed the rest of the party help her get away from him and#in the meantime she looks for a way to use either true restoration/resurrection/some other cure for his vampirism#because she realizes she made a HUGE mistake just going along with everything he wanted to do#and only went along with it because 1. her own alignment is still slowly becoming unfucked cos. female drow raised in the underdark#2. shes just used to doing what people who like her say because its easier that way and doesnt make conflict#i dont think she gets back together with astarion after she finds a cure for him but they stay close. she returns to waterdeep with sabine#and shadowheart to live in the formers tavern with her adventuring party#maybe falls in love with gale while researching cures for astarion#idk yet still thinking things through and going through the game#anyway yeah. wish i couldve made a friend for sabine. think she gets lonely and misses home a lot during the adventure.
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Why you all got ok mothers leave some for the rest of us
#hello?????#my mother had me exorcised when i was 16#or 17#my father beat my mother when i was a kid and would randomly lash out based on literally nothing#calling me (aged 3-14) and my mother cunts and whores and all kinds of slurs and threatening to beat or kill us#and every once in a while he'd just get up and leave for a week without telling anyone. we had only one car so mother had#to find alternative ways to get to work (grandparents had no car at the time) (we lived in a tiny rural village)#when he came back he never apologized and just told my mother 'you know how i am. what else do you even expect?'#he also threatened to beat me up whenever i cried or got scared or sad or embarrassed. i was not allowed to be anything but#happy. anger was also allowed but obviously not towards my parents. if i did that i would get locked in a room for several hours#if i self-harmed while locked in there i got yelled at but that just told me that i needed to self-harm more to please my parents#i think i internalised that because when i disobeyed them when i was very small (like...3-5 years) they'd spank me with a wooden spoon or#give me a strong head slap or two. i came to expect violence and when they stopped because it just made me more volatile#i felt the need to enact that expected violence upon myself.#i was unimaginably afraid for my life and for my mother's life until i was about 14. i used to pray for my father's death#but then again i prayed for my mother's death too#i had nightly night terrors about coming home from school and seeing blood everywhere and him kneeling over my mother's corpse#a lot of my good dreams revolved around killing him. i dreamed of coming home before he could kill her and stopping him#in a way i dreamed of being at least 50% safe.#both of my parents also beat me for being neurodivergent and lashes oit whenever i asked too many questions or couldn't#understand something. i always got either the r slur or i got told that I'm just playing a r*tard#to spite and anger them. everything i did in my life was specifically to anger them in their eyes.#i hated both of them so so much and i loved both of them so much and I didn't know how to put it all together#i hated that the father who took me to fairs and played football with me was the father whose touch had a 70 % chance of being violent#i flinched when seeing a hand move until i was 19 and screamed when getting hugged by anyone until i turned 17#my mother's physical violence was something other adults found funny - if she didn't spank me with a spoon; she'd#hit my arms until they got all red and numb and my crying just made her angrier. she still does this. I'm 22.#but when i accidentally ask the wrong question - the retarded one - when i do something to set her off she just hits my#arm until it doesn't even hurt anymore because i stop feeling it altogether. i don't cry because of the pain but because I'm scared#and sorry and embarrassed and guilty. and anyway we don't have tags left for my mother's abuse
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IF LORE UPDATES APPLIED TO PEOPLE I WOULDVE JUST GOTTEN ONE OF MY HAPPIEST LORE UPDATES TODAY
#FUCK YEAH WE GOT MY FIRST EVER MURAL LOOKING SICK AS SHIT SO FAR#TORTUGA AS BIG AS ME AND DETAILED ENOUGH THAT STRANGERS COMPLIMENTED IT MY BELOVED#HUGE SHOUTOUT TO THE GUY DRIVING BY THAT ROLLED DOWN THEIR WINDOW AND SHOUTED “dude that’s amazing!” AS THEY PASSED#CAME OUT AS TRANS TO MY AUNT THAT IM PAINTING THE MURAL FOR AND SHE IS NOW OFFICIALLY MY FIRST BLOOD RELATIVE TO BE SUPPORTIVE OF ME OUT TH#GATE#HER ONLY THINGS WERE THAT SHE WASNT GONNA BE PERFECT ABOUT MY PRONOUNS AND THAT SHE WISHED ID COME OUT TO HER SOONER SO I WOULDNT HAVE#GOTTEN ATTACHED TO A NAME THAT I DIDNT REALIZE WAS LINKED TO MY REALLY SHITTY BIO DAD AND WANTED TO COME UP WITH A GENDER NEUTRAL NICKNAME#FOR ME THAT WOULD WORK NO MATTER WHAT I IDENTIFY AS FROM HERE ON OUT AND WORKS AROUND PEOPLE IM NOT OUT TO#AND SHE GAVE ME A CHAMORRAN NICKNAME!!!! A SIDE OF MY HERITAGE THAT I DONT GET TO CONNECT TO A TON!!! SHES GONNA CALL ME TAKKA (WE MESSED#WITH THE SPELLING OF “TOCA” A BIT TO SOUND LIKE “TALK-A” SO WE CAN MAKE JOKES ABOUT HOW I TALK A LOT IT HAS BEEN SO FUCKING FUNNY SO FAR I#LOVE IT)#AND SHES GONNA TEACH ME HOW TO MAKE KELAGUEN (A CHAMORRAN DISH) SOMETIME#AND SHE GAVE ME AN OVERSIZED SHIRT THAT BASICALLY SAYS FUCK T-MOBILE#AND TOLD ME SHE LOVED ME NO MATTER WHAT AND TOLD ME THAT SHE LOVED HOW I PRIORITIZED KINDNESS ABOVE ALL ELSE AND I GOT TO TELL HER ABOUT HO#I THINK KINDNESS AND CRUELTY ARE TRAITS BEYOND GENDER AND SEXUALITY AND THAT I WANT TO BECOME THE ADULT I NEEDED AS A KID AND THAT I NEEDED#SOMEONE KIND THAT FREELY GAVE HUGS AND TOLD A LOT OF SILLY JOKES AND WAS FORGIVING WHEN IT COUNTED AND THAT WHEN I GROW OLD WHETHER IM AN#OLD MAN OR OLD WOMAN OR OLD SOMETHING ELSE I WANNA BE A GEEZER THAT LIVES ACROSS THE STREET THAT YOU CAN PLAY CARDS WITH ANYTIME AND#SAVES YOU CHOCOLATE BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOU LIKE IT AND I WANNA BE THE TYPE OF KIND MAN LITTLE GIRLS GROW UP HOPING ARE REAL AND LABELS ARE#CLOTHES THAT SOMETIMES FIT A MONTH OR FIT FOREVER BUT WHAT MATTERS IS THAT THEYRE COMFY IN THE MOMENT AND THAT I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY AND I#LOVE PEOPLE FOR THEIR PERSONALITY AND IM WEIRD ABOUT KISSING BUT I HAVE MY PARTNERS BACK AND THAT MATTERS MORE TO US AND WERE HAPPY#AND I TOLD HER WHAT IM PLANNING ON MY NAME TO BE WHEN IM AN ADULT AND SHE LIKED MY IDEA FOR MY NEW SURNAME#AND WE SANG TO SONGS TOGETHER AND BITCHED ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND AND DID A LITTLE JIG IN THE STREET AND LAUGHED TOGETHER AND SHE WAS SO HAPPY#BECAUSE OF THE TURTLE IM PAINTING HER AND BECAUSE I TRUST HER AND IM SO HAPPY BECAUSE BOTH OF THOSE ARE WORKING OUT AND THIS EVENING WAS A#PERFECT SUMMER EVENING TO BE ALIVE. THIS MAY HAVE HAPPENED ON MY PERIOD BUT WHAT THE FUCK EVER THE GOOD OUTWEIGHS THE BAD. THERE IS BEAUTY#IN THE WORLD IF YOU KNOW WHERE TO LOOK. THERE IS BEAUTY IN BEING TRANS AND BEING SAFE WITH YOUR AUNT AND TALKING TO HER HONESTLY ABOUT YOUR#HOPES FOR THE FUTURE WITH YOUR BODY AND YOUR GENDER. THERE IS BEAUTY IN MAKING SILLY POSES WITH YOUR MURAL IN PROGRESS WITH YOUR AUNT AS TH#PHOTOGRAPHER. THERE IS BEAUTY IN LISTENING TO NOSTALGIC MUSIC WITH YOUR AUNT THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD PROBABLY MAKE FUN OF YOU FOR LIKING#THERE IS BEAUTY IN WEARING YOUR BANGS UP IN A STUPID PINEAPPLE PONYTAIL SO IT DOESNT FALL IN YOUR EYES AND WEARING CLOTHES YOU DONT CARE#ABOUT AND GRINNING AND LAUGHING AND SINGING MORE ENTHUSIASTICALLY AND GENUINELY THAN YOU HAVE IN A LONG TIME. THERE IS BEAUTY IN CLEANING#PAINT BRUSHES AND MEASURING CUPS IN HER KINDA BROKEN SINK AND MEOWING AT HER CAT AND THANKING HER FOR HELPING YOU CLEAN UP THE PAINTS SHE
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google search how to tell my wife I'm sick of her extreme emotional crashes every time we go broke due to poor emotional regulation skills and that she needs to get better at Being Poor if she wants any chance of relief or to not drive me insane within a year
#Oliver speaking#maybe I'm just an emotionless task-fulfilling void but I've been poor most of my life and so has she so why is she so mf bad at it#babygirl the reason you get sad about your coin collection is bc you only look at it when we're broke and run out of weed :)#literally you have to put effort into taking care of urself sorry to burst your fucking bubble lmao but you're literally older than us why#is it our responsibility to emotionally regulate you for periods of time that you have endured since you were a child#literally all it takes is finding stuff to do#'wah there's nothing to do' false there's the game we've been playing the new game we bought a while ago and you never touched theres craft#projects like embroidery and leatherworking theres things you could be doing to improve our daily lives like fixing the damn table#or calling in a maintenance request for the fucked up bathroom ceiling or spreading roach killer or cleaning the apartment or reading the#multiple unread books in your collection and the other game you play and and and AND AND AND#THERE IS STUFF TO DO YOURE JUST BEING A BIG BABY ABOUT IT NOT BEING ~EXACTLY~ WHAT YOU WANT TO DO#BALLS UP IM BEGGING YOU#LITERALLY JUST BALLS THE FUCK UP IT AINT THAT HARD#'wah I can't eat Taco Bell for every meal and smoke weed 24/7' SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LOWER YOUR DRUG TOLERANCE THATS A BIG GODDAMN EXPENSE#WE'D HAVE MORE FOR EVERYTHING ELSE INCLUDING FUCKING L A U N D R Y IF YOU WERENT SMOKING A GRAM OF DABS A DAY BY YOURSELF#LITERALLY JUST GET YR SHIT TOGETHER AND ACT LIKE AN ADULT
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