#'well you have to stay warm'
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I do love my mom but talking to her about the housing crisis makes me want to bash my head against something because she just does not get it
#'well how did we do it back with the 7% interest rates when we bought our first house???'#EVEN WITH 7% INTEREST RATES IT WAS MORE AFFORDABLE FOR YOU THAT'S HOW#I can't talk about how difficult it is to find a suitable place to live in this city without her rolling her eyes#she just does not understand how shitty it is to rent her#here#or when i talk about not using the heating as much as possible because it's so expensive#'well you have to stay warm'#yes I would like that too mother but we don't live in a nice A rated house like you do and electricity is extremely expensive
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at that place we sat together today again, I'll go to where you're going
#will parry#lyra silvertongue#pantalaimon#kirjava#his dark materials#hdm fanart#doodles and miscellania#scraping in a little late (by my time) but happy bench day <3#only a small midsummer offering this year......unfortunately work has been keeping me low on art energy ;(#these are based on some sketches i did yeeeaars ago for funsies and have always considered polishing but never got around to#there is no real concept it is just vibes. hanging out with each other's daemons/humans :)#anyway!! if you're reading this i hope you have been well#stay safe and cool/warm/dry/wet(?) wherever you are in the world 💛💛💛#i'm gonna go to bed and stop freezing my butt off at my desk 🏃♂️
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⚠️TW: BLOOD WILL BE SEEN UNDERCUT.⚠️
So yeah. This happened to me yesterday and I'm taking time off school AND work to take care of myself. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and decided to post this now to let you guys know about my health!
Alright, I woke up around 4 am feeling a little tipsy, so I decided to go downstairs and drink some water. But while I was walking to the kitchen, I felt the sudden urge to puke. So I ran to the bathroom, blood was spilling out of my mouth. Why? I had no idea. So while I was running, my legs suddenly gave up on me so I tried my best to crawl to the bathroom. But then one of my roommates went down since they wake up VERY early and saw the blood on the floor to the bathroom. They called out my name and followed the blood trail to the bathroom, only to face me breathing heavily while I kept vomitting blood. The first words I said are exactly what I put in the last panel lmao. I'm clearly not fine but I'm only saying I am so my friends won't worry about someone like me <3.
Bal belongs to: @caycanteven (sorry if I've been tagging you a lot, and especially if it's bothering you. I just can't contain my love for your boi <33)
#I don't know what's happening to me#I probably won't be posting for a while so I'm giving you a heads-up as to why I'll be absent :)#Just not feeling too well at the moment#And kinda need to focus on myself and my health tbh.#I've been having a LOT of health issues lately bur I didn't think much of it until that day#So yeah#don't be like me#take care of yourself and don't be too selfless like me <33#hoping all of you are healthy and are smiling!#I love you all and PLEASE stay safe and warm.#cas talks#my ramblings#health problems#balsam sans
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#there's a flood coming to my city 😬#the wave is supposed to hit tomorrow at night#i'm a bit worried?#they say it's gonna be similae to 1997#which is. not good.#everyone at work was panicking which did not help#they said the water is almost sold out in shops#and i couldn't go to the shop to buy it because i was. at work.#so i messaged my dad and he bought some for me and he'll drive over to bring it to me#his town doesn't have a big river so you can still buy water there lmao#i asked him to buy me some non perishable food like rice crackers while he was at it too#and now i'm scared that he and my mom will buy out the entire shop and i'll have to eat those things for months 😬#they can be like that sometimes haha#yeah they most definitely will bring over the whole car full of food what do i do 😭#anyway my main concern is the lack of electricity because the stupid stove in this flat doesn't use gas ;_;#gotta charge the powerbanks 💪#people are also worried that we'll go to work tomorrow and then it'll turn out the road is flooded and we'll have to stay at work overnight#lmaoooo why won't the company just give everyone the week off?? (because of capitalism)#my sister has a two months old baby and she is leaving the city tonight to stay with our grandma#they do need clean water for the baby and the government recommended the children and the elderly to evacuate#i'd evacuate myself if it wasn't for my work 😭 (capitalism)#aghhh i'm sure it's not gonna be that bad#it's just my first flood you see#well technically the second one because i was born in 1997 hahaha but yeah. yeah.#i do like my warm meals and hot tea and i do like to shower#i do hope it'll last 2 days max!! but a friend says it can last longer depending on the damage ;_;#i know i can't really complain because i at least live on the 5th floor#my sister lives on the first floor. right by the river. yeah...#not to mention the people in surrounding villages#someone at work said that the water reached the third floor in some places in 1997 wtf 😭
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i've been here a long time and I've still got a while yet to go, but I'm glad you're here beside me and you've been a treasure to know
#my stuff#basically every day i feel So Old and also like there's So Much Ahead#and ultimately it just fills me with love for all my friends and acquaintences#i love you i love you i love you i love you#eat well drive safe sleep soundly stay warm i am here i will do what i can good morning good night#everything will be okay i promise#we will all rise and grow and prosper in ways big and small#i am not a god i am not an angel but i can hold your hand or tell you im thinking of you#we have but one command: Live.#personally. privately. and just for me at the end of this. ave omnissiah.
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i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.
you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.
and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts
#how do you miss me when you won't talk to me? how do you like me so much and then go to just. not?#how did i let you in when i try so hard not to let people do that because i know that once they get past the walls all i'll be left with#is the idea of them rotting and withering inside me. polluting the space i create to keep myself safe.#why does everyone leave? leave in silence too. leaving behind so many questions and so many words engraved in my brain#i am so tired of *grieving* when those i grieve are still alive and well and thriving and i'm reminded that it's versions of myself#that i'm grieving instead. how do you grieve yourself? how do you not fucking fall apart over it?#just. fucking talk to me. don't make it be true that all i'll ever be is nothingness and the memory of someone you liked once#but never never never liked enough#i'm so so cold already. i'm a shell. i want to be warm again but it always leaves me so hollow and hurting#i grieve the dio who was warm. i grieve them i miss them i am so so angry that he had to leave. to hide. with no way out#i'm happy for you. i'm happy you're happy. but you're no better than anyone else and it makes me want to run away again#but i have nowhere else to run and no one else to be. and it's so fucked that it doesn't matter who i am i'll never be enough#for someone to just. stay. to see me and to stay. to hear me and to sit and listen and just. just fucking stay.#maybe i'm not worth staying for. maybe there's nothing to know nothing to hear nothing to see nothing to listen to nothing to find#maybe all i'll ever get is one/two good months paid for with a lifetime of grief. and i'm at the point where i don't want the good months#anymore with you or anyone else who tears down these walls with affection that is so endlessly addictive and leaves me yearning.#on the off chance that it will keep the grief away too. but that's the thing about grief isn't it? it's here to stay. unlike you#god this is so fucked up and i'll delete this later but for now i just need to. let it out. poe said i should make a side blog for the grie#but poe's not there anymore. poe has stopped starting fires. so this goes on main until shame makes me take it down#blah#personal#not st
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i need them to put eddie in a coma so he can have his own little coma dream realization
#like can you imagine#maybe he didnt reenlist#maybe hes got that perfect little romantic life he keeps thinking he had with shannon#maybe they stayed in el paso#or the three of them moved to la together when shannons mom got sick#and maybe eddie isnt a firefighter maybe he went into contracting or landscaping because he likes to work with his hands#or maybe he went into nursing because he likes helping people#but hes living a perfect little life with a son and wife and their white picket fence but he cant shake the feeling that something is wrong#he pulls aside for a firetruck on his way to work and something about it makes him feel funny like he misses something#and so he asks shannon when he gets home#hey did i ever apply to the fire academy#and she says no why would you have done that?? as she places a warmed frozen lasagna down on the diner table#he watches chris pick at his plate and swears that chris loved lasagna#and maybe hes out on his lunch break at the park and he hears a woman cry and run to find a man collapsed on the ground and shes panicking#so he tells her to call 911 and he starts compressions#the fire department shows up and hen and chim take his place and he fills them in before stepping back#youre good under pressure buck says from beside him#and eddie just kinda looks at him for a second because#he feels right#this feels right#being right here beside this man with a crooked grin on his face feels right#but eddie just shrugs and says well i was in the army kinda came with the territory#and then bobbys voice crackles through the radio buck i told you to stop flirting on calls get in the truck now#and buck returns an ay ay captain and winks at eddie before hopping in the firetruck#he watches engine 118 drive away and thinks he should be right next to buck in that truck#okay i got carried away but i need it#like there are so many possibilities for eddie coma dream and like#tim listen to me i need you to do think i need eddie to be put into a coma so he can realize that his life now is everything hes needed
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Just got here. Tf is happening?
#strawbebies??#halo my love are you okay??#everyone clap i spent the last 4 hours totally offline 👍 <- was playing sims#(game is going well in case you're wondering)#(yes i am still building jorgen and mona's house. it took me a while to get everything exactly right)#(we are decorating now FINALLY)#it's been 4 days yes i know. listen. i take this seriously#no they are not my active family. they are simply my Sims's besties#yes im aware i will spend very little time inside their house. so what. i want my friends to have pretty and luxurious homes#the helvigs are living GOOD. got them a little inside pool and all#because why not#it pains me to make it all celebrity white minimalism but i gotta stay true to them.#the Scandinavian architecture does make it a lot better. nice warm wood accents and floors to make it less sterile#still. i gave them the most obnoxious wood centre table for the main living room and put exactly one (1) single flower there#i don't mind minimalism but this is too much uhg. i hate how vogue catalog this is turning out#ngl i am very seriously considering getting a minor only degree in interior design. like. I'm halfway there already#ANYWAYS. how is everyone? all we are alive still? facing the horrors? being brave?
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Taking a bath for me is 5% actually relaxing, 15% trying to find a podcast to listen to, 30% trying not to drop my phone in the water, and 50% deciding whether I want my tits or my knees submerged because we can’t have both!
#‘take a bath and enjoy the nice hotel!’ my partner says#ok well you don’t have to decide whether your pecs or your balls stay warm so. you don’t get to recommend this.#lo.txt
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🍦🎶I scream! You scream! We all scream for ice cream!🎵🍨
Finally got around to snapping a few pictures of this piece I finished in December last year!
This was my first time framing a piece by myself so please excuse the wrinkles!
Pattern is from World Of Cross Stitching August 2021, issue 309
#itsallmine#cross stitch#x stitch#xstitch#crossstitch#x-stitch#craft#embroidery#Ice cream#ice cream truck#haven’t had the chance to actually sit down and take pictures is because I’ve been so busy!!#that and winter is the worst time to take photos that you want a summery vibe to#but we stay silly :3#the photos are taken now and it’s finally starting to warm up#I’ve got another project I’ve taken photos for. I just wanted to post the ice cream truck before posting the next one#Terrance is next and a few of you might have seen him without his frame#well he’s been framed and he looks rather lovely#until then#my craft stuff
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Hey hey did you know my favorite fic trope is hypothermia? I just think its so nifty
#And no it doesn't have anything do with forced physical contact#(genuine#)#ok maybe a little#Buts it's more like#Warmth as a stand in for nurture and care and love#And if it's well written the author fucking knows you can't warm em up too fast it the blood pressure fucks up#So its real careful#and it's the slow decent into not pain anymore tho maybe at first but now you're just not working#Andits shaking and nothing is obeying you anymore and you're tired and cold and you could just sleep#But no someoneis there saying you have to stay awake and giving you warmth#And you know you need it but you're so cold that it burns#All your nerves coming back online at once and it's not good#Thawed like chicken#OH I MADE CHICKEN LET ME POST A PICTURE
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I miss genshin I wanna hang out with my team and chill at my teapot and make everyone cookies and stuff TT
#i cant play rn butttt#i miss them#missing the dear besties rn#i feel like my genshin team has adopted me on a spiritual level#ive been playing them for years now#well almost two years for xiao but still#hsjsbjs i miss emm#need their comfort and diluc being warm and childe cooking and staying nearby and beidou both having stories to tell but also listening to+#anything anyone has to say and maybe even bringing everyone stuff from outside and i would gift her flowers from teapot's garden#you dont understand i love em#safe place = whatever genshin teams got going on#missing playing genshin hours#all i write is about you
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Rosy Hugs may possibly be the very best kind of hugs 💖
My sweet friend . . !!!
🤍 ⊹ 🎀 * 。 ・ ♡
♡ ⊹ * 🧸 ˚ . 🤍
🤍 ・。 ⊹ 🧁 * ♡ 🎀
You mean Rosy hugs get the gold medal ?? They win the *award* ???
I’m just teasing hehe c:
Well, I do not know if they are the best, but they are very soft and smell like strawberries!
(Because I am soft and smell like strawberries !! But tomorrow I could smell like vanilla or cotton candy cus I do change fragrances often — it is not much fun to stick with only one thing !!)
They are also full of happiness and fairy dust so I hope you like them . . cus I’m giving you *lots* of Rosy hugs now!
Thank you so much, anon !! ♡
You’re really sweet, and this honestly made my day to see :D
Sending lots of love your way, and all my happiest thoughts !! Please take good care of yourself, and have a really *really* nice day ok ?? ~ XOXO ♡ 🧸 * 🎀 ・。 ⊹ 🧁
#<3#ask#you can have 26 rosy hugs . . because 26 is my lucky number !!#it is also my birthdate c:#what do you think my friend ??#would you like that ???#i am too silly today hehe :’)#but it is true !!#i am giving you a very happy hug c:#and hoping that you are well !#so please be kind to yourself !!#keep warm !!#and stay safe ok ?? c:#i wish you the nicest day today !!#and all the very best ~ ! <3#c:#xo ! <3#♡ 🧸 * 🎀 ・。 ⊹ 🧁
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But mainly, and really:
#red's week in music#STORYTIME WITH RED GATHER ROUND KIDDOS!#was at kids club tonight and went in knowing little 8 year olds mom had her baby this morning and lil girl was now big sis if two#and knew she hadnt come from home bc her hair was a mess of someone who didnt know curls trying to do it lol#shes generally emotional and dramatic but we can all see that shes a lil more so tonight. understandably. lotsa change#well she kinda hinges on this one thing of not getting the verses said to earn a jewel bc she wasnt able to say them-- totally fine! we'll#practice and get them later! but shes distraught bc she worked on them with mum and wont get jewel so i keep telling her when we'll work on#them together and when ill listen to her and we can get it done. cool. then lesson time shes up and down sniffly and the lesson says smth#about childbirth-- bursts into disarray. i ask her if she wants to step out and we blow her nose and she keeps talking about the verse so i#tell her solutions for that and then shes working herself up so i work thru calming down and she goes from#“i think im mad” to “mom would let me do what i want!” and i know the real issue isnt the verse but thats what shes telling me so...#adult shes staying with cautiously steps in and she calms down to tell me “its not the verse... i think i miss my mom”#oh my heart i know honey i give her a hug and we talk about the sleeover shes going to have and when shes going to see mom#and shes sleeping next to lil sis so shes going to give sis a big hug and tell her theyre going to see mom in the morning#and then i ask her if she wants to go back and she does and i just hold her and hug her the whole time#i give her another squeeze when she leaves and tell her to enjoy her sleepover#her friend shes staying with i should not did a very sweet of coming over and saying “hey lookit this new book i got do you wanna color it#with me maybe?“ which was such an emotionally mature thing for her and to see lil kiddo cheer up warmed me#teachers we debriefed and talked about kids going thru stuff at home and not being able to tell and process their emotions and stuff#and then i shared with mum on the ride back and she goes “yup. lil toddler will just miss mom-- its trauma at this age. this is why i#panicked and called my mother to come for your sis's birth bc dad said he could handle you but my heart couldnt for what you would go thru.“#i was six when my sister was born. my grandma being there before consistently made me giddly excited in that time waiting for dad to bring#us to the hospital.#anyway my heart was full and im praying extra hard for two lil girls in a sleepover missing their mom tonight.#red's personal sitcom#Spotify
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#you know those times where you just...feel that gentle and warm feeling out of nowhere#and you feel like sharing it but you dunno how to?#am feeling that exactly tonight 😭#it's...making me...feel weird lmao#like........what should I do with these?#anyways#since am doing this impulsively#well#I just wanna say have a good night/day#also please be kind to yourself today ;-; dont be too hard on yourself yes? and stay strong#whatever is happening in your life am...hoping you can overcome it...one day#dont rush and take your time#ugh#tbh i just feel like sharing some kind of nice words out there tonight and I hope whoever reads this#just...have the courage to say smth nice..to anyone or someone you thought of#i bet it'll make someones day/night maybe a bit better#yeah that is all~#if you read this ty#and stay safe always
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https://www.tumblr.com/beatingheart-bride/714920998619824128/part-of-your-world
@beatingheart-bride
It wasn’t long after she awoke that Randall returned to the bathroom, carrying with him a small plate of fish-raw, he’d thought about it while he was downstairs in the kitchen, and figured she’d probably prefer that to something cooked (he didn’t want to make her ill by feeding her spices and seasonings she’d never had before), and so he rushed down to the market, buying a couple of nice cuts with his allowance just for her, so that he wouldn’t be taking food out of the mouths of himself and his parents.
So he laid them out on the plate and carried them back upstairs, surprised when he saw her sitting up already-he had sort of expected her to continue resting for a good while after his mother finished patching her up, but maybe sirens healed faster than humans? Maybe they had a higher pain tolerance than humans did?
At any rate, he was sure she was hungry, and so he slowly crossed the room, trying to make himself seem as unthreatening as possible, gingerly setting the plate on the corner of the tub before giving her a wide berth, before saying, in a low and gentle voice, “I...I brought you some f-food, i-if you’re hungry, um...i-it’s not much, I know, b-but if you want any more, I-I can get you more...”
Can she even understand me? he wondered, cheeks pink as he looked down, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly: Here he was, rambling on and on to a mythical creature recovering in his tub, who may not understand a word he said...
#((poor june! she expects her husband and son to have brought home some fish for supper that night))#((and instead she finds a banged-up siren bleeding out in her bathtub! all in all she takes it very well but...still!))#((and you KNOW randall's gonna be staying by emily's side every chance he gets! he knows he should be afraid of her))#((and keep his distance; especially since; whether she's in a little tub or not; she could still possibly try to drown him))#((and yet he can't stay away! he's just too enraptured not to!))#((i can't wait to see them bond too! i can't wait to see emily warm up to the paces and come to care for them))#((and especially bond with randall the more time he spends with her!))#outofhatboxes#beatingheart-bride#V:Part of Your World
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