#'norwegian butter yes'

[purrrrplecats]

oh no i found it

the in correct quote generato-

(there a lot so if you don't want to read lots don't click keep reading)(theres loads i think 50-)

Scar: Grian and I are so close we even share a toothbrush. Grian: We what?

(he appoligised abt the joke later on.)

Mumbo: I’d like to live through a week that’s not a whole new verse of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

Grian: Hey, are you alright with swearing? Asking for a friend. Scar: Yeah? Grian: Bitch.

Mumbo: Is… Is that meant to be on fire? Grian: No… not really. Mumbo: Are you going to do something about it? Grian: Hm… nah.

Grian: Your future self is talking shit about you right now. Scar: Jokes on them. I'll ruin their fucking life.

Pearl: If looking good was a crime, you’d be a law abiding citizen.

Pearl: I’m proud to say I’ve come over my fear of ghosts! Grian: Eyy, that’s the spirit! Pearl: gasps whErE???!!!??

Impulse: So I have made the decision to trust you. Grian: A horrible decision, really.

Grian: Gem, is that my mug you’re drinking out of? Gem: No, it’s mine. Grian: It… looks just like the one I have… Gem: You don’t have one like this anymore.

(its and mug with pink and blue snails on it.)

Gem: This should be illegal! Pearl: It is.

Pearl: Okay, let's split 'em up and make 'em sing. Impulse: Two of you take Gem, the other two take Grian. Scar: Right. Bad cop, good cop. Mumbo: You know, it's interesting that they say "bad cop, good cop," because policing in this country is so broken it's really just "bad cop, bad cop". Impulse: Scar, you're with them. Scar: Got it.

Grian: Norwegia. Is. Not. A. COUNTRY! Scar: Then where are Norwegian people from!? Impulse: NORWAY!!

Impulse: Would you slap Pearl- Grian: Yes. Impulse: I didn't even finish! Grian: Sorry, continue. Impulse: Would you slap Pearl for 10 dollars? Grian: I would do it for free. Pearl: Rude…

(you could also swap Grian and Pearl around because I mean, SKYLINGS)

Grian: If you want my advice- Pearl: No offense but you’re the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your significant other. Multiple times. Grian: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, they’ve also tried to kill me. Scar: It’s true. It was mutually attempted murder.

Scar, to the Squad: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that’s easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go. Impulse: But how- Scar, ignoring them: “But how”, you may ask. Well, easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say “no thanks”.

Gem: I am strong! I beat Grian at arm wrestling! Impulse: Anyone can beat Grian at arm wrestling! Grian: Hey-

(sure Impulse sure-)

Gem: Grian, I am nothing if not a Woman of principle. Gem: Now let’s break into this apartment.

Pearl: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles? Gem: I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes.

(again you could swap them around)

Pearl: Hey, you want a tarot reading? Mumbo: Those are Pokemon cards. Pearl: You got a magikarp. Mumbo: … Pearl: It means 'fuck you'.

Grian: Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere Gem: Where did you get that? Grian: My pocket. Gem: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket? Grian: Skills.

Scar: I’ve been described as a ��heartless villain’ and a 'little shit’, but I prefer… 'has alternative ways of having fun’.

Scar: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

Impulse: COMPANY IS COMING! I WANT THIS PLACE LOOKING LIKE DISNEY ON ICE IN ONE MINUTE! Impulse: SCAR IF YOU HAVEN'T MADE YOUR BED THROW IT AWAY IT'S TOO LATE TO MAKE IT NOW! Impulse: GET RID OF THE COUCHES, WE CAN'T LET PEOPLE KNOW WE S I T !

Gem: Hey Pearl, check out this funny .GIF I found! Pearl: It’s pronounced “jif”. Gem: Huh? Pearl: “Dot jif”, like the peanut butter. The creator said so. Gem: That’s dumb, it’s Graphics Interchange Format. Pearl: The P in .JPEG stands for “photographic”, but I bet you don’t say “J-pheg”. Gem: “P” on its own isn’t pronounced like “F”, that’s totally different! Pearl: It’s exactly the same! Gem: Name one word that starts with “G” pronounced like “J”. Pearl: Gentrification. Gem: Shoot, should have thought of that. I was just in San Francisco. Pearl: For your logic to be consistent, you’d have to say “skuh-bah” (scuba) or “lah-seer” (laser)! Gem: Yeah? Well, you’d have to say “J-pej”! Gem: …Wait, “laser” is an acronym? Pearl: Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation. Gem: Huh. Didn’t know that. Gem: You’re still wrong, though. Pearl: You just hate me because I’m right. Gem: I just hate you in general. Pearl: You mean in “geh-neral”? Gem: Ugh, I’m “joing” to kill you!

Scar: What's worse than a heartbreak? Grian: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging. Mumbo: Waking up in the morning. Gem: Waking up.

Scar: I love you. Grian: Me too.

Grian: Fight me! Scar: gets on one knee and pulls out a ring Scar: Fight me for the rest of our lives.

Pearl: What’s your favorite color? Gem: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature. Pearl: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP? Gem: My favorite color is pink.

Grian: Do you love me? Mumbo: We’re literally married. Grian: Yeah, but as friends or—

(logic is that Waffle duo got married as a bit like Clingy duo (Tubbo and Tommy) but G is like Tommy and doesn't want to get a divorce because he wants to commit it the bit.)

Grian: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done. Pearl: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real. Grian: They're not. Pearl: Haha, very funny. Grian: I'm serious. Didn't you hear? Pearl: No… what happened? Grian: …Why would you fall for this again-

Scar: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees? Gem: Bees? Scar: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES! Gem: Wait- Impulse approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly

Scar: Mx. Grian, I accidentally dropped my seed into my mouth and then I accidentally ate it. Am I going to have a lemon tree grow inside my belly? Grian: Well, let's think about it. Did you also swallow a wet paper towel? Scar: Yes. Grian: Grian: Alright, let's go to the nurse.

Grian: Some people are like slinkies. Pearl: What? Grian: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. Pearl: Pearl: Please don't push Scar down the stairs. Grian, pushing Scar down the stairs: Too late.

Pearl: You’re just being paranoid. Again. Scar: When have I been paranoid? Pearl: Um, when you first met Gem you thought they were an undercover cop…? Scar: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera! Pearl: And last year you were sure Impulse was a mermaid! Scar: They hate wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?! Later, when Scar’s theory is proven wrong Pearl: Do you have anything to say for yourself? Scar: I still think Impulse is a mermaid.

Grian: Scar, Pearl keeps bullying me at school. Scar: Ask your teacher for help. The next day… Grian, to their teacher: Will you help me beat up Pearl?

Pearl: Being gay isn't a choice. It's a game and I'm winning.

Scar: Being gay isn't a choice. It's a game and I'm winning.

(same quote 2 times in a row!?!?!)

Impulse, near tears: Please, Grian, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

Gem: I need to dye my hair. Impulse: … Gem: Or get another tattoo. Impulse: … Gem: Or a new piercing. Impulse: Why? Gem: To, you know, appease the mental breakdown gods.

Grian: aggressively throws pencil at Scar Grian, deadpan: Oh no. I’ve been stabbed. I’ve been impaled.

(Double Life = soulmates)

Scar : So you like cats? Grian: Yeah. Scar : tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table

Impulse: What have you done with Scar ?

Grian: Nothing. Why, do you think I should?

Pearl: Scar , let’s go! Grian : Oh, yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about writing maybe a letter. Pearl: Okay, you know what? That’s it, you had your chance. Grian : What-? Pearl: Mom, Dad, Scar smoked pot in college. Grian : You are such a tattletale! Grian : Mom, Dad, you remember that time you walked into my room and smelled marijuana? Well, I told you it was Jimmy who was smoking the pot but… It was me. I’m sorry. Pearl: And Dad, you know that mailman that you got fired? He didn’t steal your Playboy’s, Grian did. Grian : Yeah, well, hurricane Gloria didn’t break the porch swing Pearl did. Pearl: Grian hasn’t worked for a year! Grian : Pearl and Gem are living together! Pearl: Grian married Scar in Vegas and got divorced AGAIN! Jimmy: I love Jacques Cousteau! Etho: I wasn’t supposed to put beef in the trifle! Doc: I wanna gooo!!

(I changed some names, aka added Doc, Etho and Jimmy, also Etho is the mum Docs the dad, and Tim is ofc the younger brother.) (the family situation is defo not from TTSBC)

Mumbo: I will send my army to attack! Mumbo: releases a dumpster of raccoons

Gem, throwing their head into Pearl's lap: Tell me I'm pretty! Pearl, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

(awwwwww)

Squad is playing Among Us Grian: I believe Pearl is innocent, I was with them the whole time. Mumbo, what were you doing? Mumbo: Oh, I was just murdering… I mean, nothing!

(I was gonna change Pearl to Scar and change Mumbo to Impulse because Impulsetor)

Pearl, in the hospital: Will you visit me when I get out? Grian: Lol nah, I hate graveyards.

[ghouldtime]

Hello again! Since you said that you HC König to be Styrian, do you think he'd be the kind of person to sometimes speak his dialect with reader to tease them a little? The dialect is kinda hard to understand for people, who only speak High German (the German you find in texts and the one you're taught at school and stuff). Because I speak with a dialect as well and I'd love nothing more than to banter with König in our Austrian dialect together! Of course, there's a thousand dialects in Austria! So, someone from Styria has a hard time understanding someone from Vorarlberg, but still! (Also, because I HC him from the southern part of Styria, I like to imagine he "barks" a little when he speaks! It's gotten better as he grew up, but when he gets drunk he still barks, which makes it harder to understand him! It's really hard to understand some people from southern Styria >.< Are we allowed to share our own HCs with you? I just thought it'd make sense since I am Austrian! Not trying to sound entitled or anything, of course! But I just love giving him HCs of things I'm familiar with :>)

Anyway, sorry for the long ask! Have a nice day! ^^

💚💚💚💚💚 HELLLLOO it's great to see you back again :D I hope you're doing well! Also prefacing this with I'm an American so I'm admittedly not the most well versed in everything Austrian! I do put in my research and know some but I haven't even been there so if I'm ever wrong, absolutely feel free to correct me (I try my best not to be totally ignorant)

To answer your question simply in one word: ABSOLUTELY. Caps, bold, and all.

Naturally, his default IS his dialect. That's what he grew up speaking, that's what he learned, that's what sounds the most correct to him. Yes, it's not the standard, but it's HIS standard.

If reader doesn't know his dialect or if he's going out of his way to be a bit of a little shit, he'll be teasing about it - he's got a sense of humor (as unconventional as it might be). Assuming reader is learning German, he of course will still be helpful with teaching! He'll speak the "textbook" standard, but he's still slipping his dialect in, especially if they're catching onto what he's saying and he wants to make a sly comment.

What did he just say? Oh, nothing, you'll figure it out :) .... eventually, in due time.... and maybe a few post it notes in your text books there...

If they already know German, he'll pretty much insist on his dialect and will maybe speak a bit slower if you're lucky. But he'll talk so much if he likes you, you'll catch on - sooner or later (all apart of his masterplan). He's far more comfortable speaking German so he naturally adopts a faster talking pace too to match

Side note Dialects are SO interesting. One of my pals is Norwegian and he'd look me dead in the eyes and switch to another dialect whenever I understood him. Frustrating, actually pretty hilarious, and gives me MORE incentive to learn and to try and figure it out. How a single language can vary so differently from place to place in the same country is very interesting to see and hear alike

(Also you're absolutely welcome to share head cannons with me anytime!! 💚💚💚 I love hearing them and I love seeing that people can relate and have their own experiences to add. It really adds depth when we know we're never getting more than the bare minimum and it's not entitled at all its so nice to hear these little details)

I'm absolutely on board with that head cannon and support it FULLY in every sense of the word. That's 110% HIM. Since he wasn't much of a talker as a kid too I think it certainly was much more pronounced for that reason before it lessened as he grew up, and especially had more exposure to his peers.

I adore niche head cannons like this, it's my bread and butter. Because you KNOW we'd not get that level of love and attention to detail with or from the game alone and it's just adding that extra pizzazz, that extra depth that he deserves

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 If you don't mind, I'll adopt that for him because it's so perfect??? It's so him I just love the idea so so so much

[amalthea-fictions]

Can you make a Charlie Weasley x Jacob's sibling where the reader can actually speak to dragons? Like Hiccup in httyd books or Harry with the snake-like beings

Oooh interesting concept! For purposes of the piece I'm not gonna worry about why or how the MC can speak to dragons and we're just gonna not ask questions~

---------------------------

"[Y/N!] Have you seen Charlie?"

You look up from your sandwich and shake your head, mouth still half-full.

"I haven't. Is he okay?"

Bill runs his hand through his hair, and you realize he's sweating. "I'm worried he's not. I haven't seen him all day, and we were supposed to meet for lunch. It's unlike him to be this late."

You hear a scoff from behind you. Merula lilts her head.

"The second filthy Weasley?" She snorts. "He probably heard Barnaby going on about the dragon he saw in the forest today. Apparently Kettleburn let it loose or something."

Bill blanches. "Oh bloody hell."

You and Bill sprint to the forest with such speed and determination that you're both heaving by the time you get there. Bill is frantic.

"Where--where did Barnaby say he saw it again?" He pants.

You point in the general direction as you try and catch your breath.

Bill springs forward, and you follow closely. Greenery whips against your face as you push through branches. Leaves crack under your boots as you race through. Bowtruckles scatter above. Until finally, you emerge into a clearing--

--and see Charlie, alone, holding a steak out in front of him.

Bill sighs.

"Bill?" Charlie looks up. "Oh, crap. Did I lose track of time?"

"Yes!" He marches forward to his younger brother and inspects him. "You had me worried sick! I thought you were dragon bait."

Charlie shakes his head. "No, unfortunately not."

Bill spits. "Unfortunately?!"

"Well-- you know, Barnaby said that Kettleburn's dragon escaped, and so I was hoping to see it-- I didn't mean to worry anybody--"

Charlie continues, and Bill begins lecturing him, but you notice the Bowtruckles and the Fairies have suddenly begun to hide.

"Um, boys?"

They don't hear you.

"Why would you go looking for a dragon ALONE?"

"Well, Barnaby said it's green, so it's probably only a Welsh Green. They're mostly harmless--"

The leaves on the trees begin to shake.

"Boys," you say a bit louder. "I think--"

ROAARR!!

A huge dragon booms into the clearing, the force of its wings knocking everyone over as it lands.

Bill and Charlie scramble back.

"Oh crap," Charlie mutters.

"Charlies? You said Welsh Greens are harmless, right?"

Charlie shakes his head. "This isn't a Green. It's a Norwegian Ridgeback. And she seems hungry."

The dragon swishes its tail and cuts through a row of trees like they're made of butter. They groan as they fall to the forest floor.

You hurry and scramble to your feet.

"Charlie!" Bill cries. "Throw it the bloody steak at it so we can get away!"

Charlie tosses the steak forward, but the dragon screeches, uninterested. It takes a step forward.

Bill tries to draw his wand.

You leap forward, between the dragon and the boys. You hold both palms open towards the dragon.

"[Y/N]?!" Bill shouts. "Move! You'll get killed!"

You ignore him and keep your eyes solely on the dragon.

"We mean you no harm," you say in draconic.

The dragon swishes its tail, agitated. It snorts, and steam furls out of its nostrils.

"Why are you upset?" You try again.

"[Y/N]?" Charlie asks. You hear the two boys moving to their feet behind you. "What's going on?"

Finally, the dragon lowers its head to you. A low growl rumbles from its throat.

You swallow. "She--she's upset," you explain, "because some First Year let her out of Care for Creatures. She misses Kettleburn."

You briefly look behind you and see that Bill's jaw has dropped, dumbfounded, and Charlie's eyes are twinkling.

"Are you a dovahkiin-tongue, [Y/N]?! Why did you never tell me this before?!"

Bill punches him on the arm.

You turn your attention back to the dragon, and inch forward, your palms still open. "We can take you back to Kettleburn. He will probably feed you there, too. We just need you to stay calm."

The dragon narrows its eyes at you, its nostrils flaring again. But then, it nods.

You all sigh with relief.

~~~~

Under your guidance, the Weasley boys manage to heard the Norwegian Ridgeback back into Care for Magical Creatures. Kettleburn asked Bill, as the senior student, to help him feed the beast. Bill obeyed, but promised to give Charlie a stern talking-to later.

You and Charlie watch as they disappear behind the treeline.

Finally, Charlie turns to you and grabs your hands.

"[Y/N]!" He exclaims. "That was brilliant! Why didn't you tell me you could speak to dragons!?"

Your face turns hot. You blink, your mind going blank.

Charlie's hands are warm around yours. He's beaming.

"Um," you try, "I. I guess I always thought it's weird, so I don't talk about--"

"Weird?!" He interrupts. "Are you joking?! What I'd give to be a dovahkiin-tongue! That's incredible! You're incredible!"

His smile brightens, and you feel the blood rush into your ears.

"C'mon," he says, and begins pulling you off. "We've got to talk more about this. I have SO many questions!"

~~~

For the rest of the day, Charlie would not stop asking you questions about your unique skill. Not that you minded the extra time with him, of course.

You're both sitting in the courtyard together, the clear night sky twinkling overhead.

"Fus," you try explaining again.

"Fus," he says, but his pronunciation is... horribly off.

Your bite your cheek. "How can I explain it... less 'oo' like a cow mooing."

He laughs, then perks up. "Hey! Maybe it would help if I actually feel the shape of your facial muscles when you do it. Would you mind that?"

The sparkle in his eyes is so enthusiastic, so sincere, it makes your brain freeze.

"U-uhm, sure," you start, but before you even finish, he's reached his hand out to cup your cheek.

You hope the starlight above isn't enough to illuminate how intensely your face is burning.

"Now, let's try again," Charlie beams.

You gulp and feel your heart restart from where it was frozen.

"Fus," you manage to stutter.

Charlie blinks, then smiles his brilliant smile.

"Interesting," he muses. "I think that helped. I felt that you actually suck your cheek in, like in a whistle, for the vowel."

His hand is still on your cheek, soft and warm. All you can do is nod.

He holds your gaze and doesn't move. He doesn't say anything for the next moment-- only stares at you, his lips curled into a soft smile.

"You know," he finally says, gently. "You have really soft skin, [Y/N.]"

Your heart backflips.

And --for a second, under the moonlight-- you swear you see his freckled cheeks dusted pink, too.

After what feels like an eternity, he lowers his hand and clears his throat. "Well, ah," he says, "it's getting late, isn't it? We should probably head back to the dorms before the professors yell at us."

You nod hastily, your heart still pounding. "Yes, you're right."

"But! We'll definitely pick up where we left off tomorrow!"

He bids you goodnight, and later that night, in bed, you can't help but inch your hand up to the cheek he had held so intently.

Pick up where we left off...

You smile as you drift to sleep.

[copperbadge]

I want to fuel your quest for brown cheese a little. Did you know we get special Christmas varieties in Norway?

The dark one is a very dark, almost burnt caramel with a smooth finish and hints of sourness. The lighter one is sweeter and has cardamom added to it. Also smooth, but drier. Both go extremely well with toasted raisin buns, but they're also good with butter on sourdough and other toothy breads. Add apple slices if you want contrast and crunch.

[photo id: Two brown cheeses in a plastic container, dark Bestemorost to the left, wrapped in blue, Julebrunost to the right, wrapped in red. A slice has been cut from the cheese to the left, with a Norwegian cheese slicer tool.]

Ah man, I can't even get the blue wrapper cheese and you're getting seasonal variants! Also thank you very much for doing a photo ID. :D

There must be a cheese shop in Chicago that either stocks or would order gjetost or brunost or bestermorost (best name) or Julebrunost -- which, that's "Yule Brunost" yes? Like my figgy pudding Spam that I turned into a christmas ornament last year. I just need to find them. I was in Whole Foods on Saturday and looked in the cheese case but they only had the Ski Queen red package. :/

Okay. I made it a mission in Europe, I can make it a mission here. I'm adding it officially to the To Do list.

[lilliths-httyd-blog]

@audriegreywind requested that I make a Nine Realms version of the "summarising every HTTYD movie/special/episode" post that I made ages ago so:

SUMMARISING EVERY EPISODE OF THE NINE REALMS

Tom: Jestem Hardkorem!

Tom almost gives a dragon food poisoning: The Episode

Oh, how I wish Tom and Jun had got Kentucky Fried Viggo'd during the Romantic Bootleg scene and we'd just never seen them again

THEY REALLY TOOK THAT "ENOUGH KETAMINE TO FLOOR A HORSE" COMMENT LITERALLY, HUH??

"It is NOT safe outside!" Well it doesn't look very safe inside either HOLY FUCK ALEX LOOK BEHIND YOU-

ARE THEY TRYING TO CAUSE MORE EARTHQUAKES?? THAT IS NOT HOW PLATE TECTONICS WORKS-

Rescue Riders was better.

IT'S FAT FUCK FRIDAY!!!!!

"I'll roam the Hidden World with the rest of these hideous whores!"

🚚 <( my main goal is to blow up )

Bootleg Silkspanners try to kill Bootleg Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way

Razorwhip absolutely BLAZING IT fr

Skrill leaving the Crystal Meth Realm like the soul leaving my body during my first watch of Return of Thor Bonecrusher

It would be really funny if they used the Monstrous Nightmare gel as an adhesive and then the gel got wet and absorbed the water and became flammable again and then Tom had got lit on fire in the Blaze-It Realm and he'd burned alive and died, I think that would be hysterical

We were gonna get shirtless Hiccup. We were gonna get shirtless ASTRID. We are DESPERATE to see shirtless Viggo. But THIS is what we get???

The missile knows where it is at all times. It knows this because it knows where it isn't. By subtracting where it is from where it isn't, or where it isn't from where it is (whichever is greater), it obtains a difference, or deviation. The guidance subsystem uses deviations to generate-

DeAngelo almost recreates the Austin serial bombings

The Hidden World is just Australia clearly

The Magma Breather caused the Norwegian Butter Crisis of 2011 after getting addicted to deep fried butter on a stick (confirmed)

Did they rip off Wings of Fire with these Moonwatcher 'n Winter lookin' hoes??

Cocaine Realm. That's it. That's the joke.

Competency? In the Incompetency Show? It's more likely than you'd think… but Watch Out.

Bruhhh we need whatever these kids were getting high on after this shitshow, I don't feel that it's morally right to even remind people that this episode exists

🙋‍♂️ I wanna teach Viggo how to ride "dragons" (Yes I did watch Audrie's reviews instead of the actual TV show in order to make this list, how did you know?)

MA! MA, THERE'S A FUCKIN' STRAY CAT OUTSIDE-

No.

Tom gets put on house arrest and breaks out in order to enter the Weed Realm

Quick, someone edit those Scuttleclaws fucking exploding

NO.

Genuine character growth in the Adult Baby Fetish episode… yeah checks out

Get Jumpscared, Idiot

🚁 🤸🏼‍♀️ <( gonna catch me ridin' dirty )

I won't be updating this list until Audrie posts her TNRS6 review because I'd rather wait and give her the views than go watch TNRS6 now and give Universal money.

[annas-hair-donut]

Waffle Waltz

Fandom: Frozen (Disney Movies) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Anna/Kristoff, Background Elsa/Hans Characters: Anna, Kristoff, Hans, Elsa, Bulda Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Norway (Country), Waltzing, Folk Dance, Weddings, Light Angst, Eventual Fluff, Enemies to Lovers, Good Hans Words: 4408

Summary: Anna travels to Tromsø, Norway to attend her sister Elsa's wedding, and ends up renting a room with Bulda and her grumpy and resentful son Kristoff, who is the king of waffles.

1. Waffle, Noun: (1) A soft indented cake cooked in a waffle iron; (2) Empty or pretentious words 2. Waffle, Verb: (1) Equivocate, vacillate; (2) To blather

Read the entire fic @AO3. Preview below the cut.

“Another waffle, Anna?” asked Bulda.

“Yes, please!” Anna responded in her heavy American accent. “We don’t have anything like this back home.  Well, I mean, we have waffles.  But they’re different.  Oh, but Norway is just beautiful!  I’m really loving it here.  And Oslo is amazing! Not that I’ve seen much because I’m really trying to graduate in May.  But I absolutely love the Norsk Folkemuseum and the Fram Museum.  And I can't wait to see Tromsø!  I was just a baby when we moved to Boston so I really don't remember anything.”

Bulda's son Kristoff grunted and slid Anna’s third waffle onto her plate.

“Takk, Kristoff,” she said, daring him to look at her.  He didn't, which was only mildly infuriating.  But he did say something in Sami, which she didn't understand.

Anna hadn't spoken Norwegian since her dad passed away several years ago, and her mom died when she was too young to learn Sami. She'd been hoping to strengthen her Norwegian and to learn Sami when she transferred to the American University in Oslo, but all of her classes were conducted in English and most of her classmates spoke even less Norwegian than she did. She'd gotten much more practical experience speaking Norwegian in just the few days she'd been staying with Bulda and Kristoff, neither of whom spoke English.  But Kristoff wasn’t doing anything to help; he spoke in Sami every chance he got.  And Anna's Sami language class got cancelled because she was the only person to sign up.  Anna even asked Kristoff to teach her, but she took his response in Sami to be a no.  At least she learned one word.

Bulda smiled politely, then noted, "You’re here a bit early for Waffle Day, unfortunately, but I’m sure your university will have a big event.  Anyway, we don’t need a holiday to indulge in my son’s specialty, do we?” she said intimately.

Then she passed Anna small dishes with whipped cream, fresh butter, and cloudberry jam, which Anna generously heaped onto her waffle.  "This jam is so good!" she got in between bites.

Bulda clapped her hands together, and said, “Good!  Maybe I can show you how to make it while you're here?  Cloudberries are actually a staple of Sami cuisine."

With her mouth full, Anna nodded at her host.  And when she was almost done chewing, she said, “I'd love that!"

“You know, you remind me so much of your mom," she said, and Anna looked down from embarrassment.  And on the way up she caught Kristoff's eyes for a split second and ruined the moment.

"I just loved that woman. Sweet, sweet lady. We actually used to perform in a Sami dance group together.  Anyway, we’re just so glad you came to stay with us,” Bulda said fondly before turning steely eyes to her son. “Aren’t we, Kristoff?”

Kristoff flipped his eyes reluctantly to Anna in a way that shook her with equal parts discomfort and intrigue.  His eyes were warm and intelligent and completely wasted on him; eyes like that were meant to be stared into and admired properly, and he seemed unable to make eye contact for more than a second at a time.

“Well,” Bulda said, “maybe you’ll think about staying in Tromsø a little longer after your sister’s wedding?”

Her tone was full of hope when she addressed her son, “Wouldn’t that be lovely, Kristoff?”

“Wonderful,” he said without any emotion so they’d know he didn’t mean it.

“Well, unless our guest would like any more waffles,” he said with just a bit of a bite, “I need to practice for the wedding.”

“Oh, ok,” Bulda said with downcast eyes.  “I was hoping you’d give Anna a tour of the town today.”

He scoffed, “Just because she’s renting a room with us doesn’t obligate me to be her personal tour guide.  I have things to do.”  

Bulda said something to him in Sami.  Then he walked off, leaving his mother and guest in a bit of a shock.

“That’s ok,” Anna said meekly, trying to cover up her hurt.  “I have wedding things to do with my sister today anyway, like picking up my bunad from the tailor.”

Elsa was actually still on her research trip to Svalbard and wouldn’t be back for another couple of days.  Anna probably wouldn’t even get to see Elsa until the wedding.  So she was on her own until then.

But Anna didn’t need a tour guide anyway.  She could just wander and see everything on her own like she was used to.  She didn’t need any grumpy boys with big brown eyes and two day old scruff slowing her down!

Continue reading @ AO3.

[yourfavehasanosmia]

Video transcript: hi my name is Toki. I’m a musician and a celebrities and a famers- a famous guitarists from norway. some of you may know that we have a butter crisis in norway right now. which uhhhh basically mean that we can’ts gets any butter froms the the store. but i have noticed.....that SOME of your comedians inn uhhh Am- USA are making fun of the fact that we don’ts have anyyyy butter products. Ehhhmmmmm ......... D...Then I wanna ask you this. what if it was yöu? that didn’t haves any butter. what if I came home to you and TOOK your butter from your fridge? fridgerato..fridgerator? and took your butters away from you ..... on any- on any- on any others day? (clunk) yes and let’s not ehhhhh, shoves it under the uh- the mats. we all know that ehh american peoples are pretty overweights. .... how would you Feele....what about your sweet potatoes and your sss s as s s s s s s sour cream and your, eh, sss s s ss. stocking THENS? (holds up butter) do you know what this is? this a traditional Bux of norwegian butter. (open butter) let’s look inside. (shows nearly empty interior) it’s hardly empty. do you know what’s approaching??? christmas is approach- approach- approaching. how does you think we feels? does you know what the national christmas cake in norway is??? it ams something called Lusikatter. Pussycats in english. do you know what the main ingredients in the lus- in the eh- in lusikatter is? BUTTER! (shakes butter box) do you think this ams enough for all the christmas cakes thats i was gonna make in ehhh christmas? NO. ........ so FUCK YOU AMERICAAAANNN dssssdssdsdssdss peoples. because. YOU DONT KNOW HOW IT FEELS BEING WITHOUT BUTTER IN CHRISTMAS TIME. and I’s ask again. WHAT IF IT WAS YOU??? ...... heh.. who didn’t have BUTTER? would you go ask the neighbor? OH NO, THATS RIGHT the neighbor doesn’t have butter either no one in the whole wide fucking country has butter.... i will come to you house. i will go to your fridgerator-fridge-fridge-your fridgerators i will takes your butter out of your fridge i will eats the butter in front of you and your families EYES. ... and eh i forces you to watch me while i eat ALL your butter! that you were gonna have at christmas eve...ning. you will begs and cries and say “NO TOKI DONT EATS ALL OUR BUTTER WE NEEDS FOR XMAS” i will say “AHAH NOT MY PROBLEM” and take the empty bottle i will throws it down the.stairway. i will goes home. and be the way for all you danish people. what if we came and take all your red disgusting SAUSHEG. saushege? ..... i don’ts mean to me violent i just have to paint it out so you understann that is not very uhhhhhh uh uh uh nice. we are a country in NEED. and this is the thank. thank yous very much.

[onedivinemisfit]

Rules: list eight TV shows for your followers to get to know you better!

Tagged by @ruleofexception oh gosh oh boy do I even remember a full eight off the top of my head

1. The Rings of Power. Yeah sue me. Of all the recent adaptations of fantasy series, this is the only one that got its assignment right, which makes it a champion in my eyes already. Also. Hot butter tension.

2. Arcane. I am a sucker for both art nouveau and art deco and guess what, it’s everywhere in this animation. Also high-stakes drama and intense eye contact and beautiful art in general.

3. Hajimete no Otsukai! So wholesome I could die. And just. Look at what a magnificent way to teach children responsibility and kindness and how to approach the world. It even made my mother cry. Haters can fuck off.

4. All of Sir David Attenborough’s Documentaries. I mean all of them yes.

5. Poirot. My favourite crime solver, and a guaranteed comfort watch. But I mean only, and ONLY, David Suchet’s Poirot. The rest are impostors.

6. Nytt på Nytt. (News on news) norwegian news satire show, with sometimes splendidly caustic takes. Comes on every friday to summarize the last week’s news. Much shade is thrown.

7. The Pacific. *loud sobbing noises*. I may be a history nerd, but that doesn’t mean I’m immune to human suffering.

8. Filmavisen. (“Filmpaper”) Not so much a TV show as a collection of old “news bulletins” from the time when Norwegians went to the cinema to watch the news. Greyscale clips presented in Ye Olde Man Talks Eloquently And Very Speedily.

As always, I am tagging whoever wishes to do this and hopes for someone to tag them~ you’re free to say I did, for in spirit, it is true~

[imminentinertia]

I love Perth Nakhun's snack test videos (and the videos where he reads BL mangas), which is wildly out of character for me because usually video anything is so fucking slow and full of unnecessary word wasting and sound effects and stupid shit, it drives me insane. Perth is probably magical.

So now that he's tried sweets from Norway, I'm going to fucking blog my comments.

1. Stupedama Myke lakriskuler (I wrote lakriskuker first. If you know Norwegian, you get this). Stupedama (Diving Lady) is really nice entry level salty liquorice. DON'T KEEP THEM IN THE FRIDGE, PERTH. MYKE MEANS SOFT. Very pleased that he liked them, even though they were chilled and discoloured. Let's be honest, the Dutch salty liquorice he's tried is... not entry level.

2. The fans sent him Sørlandschips with Thai chili flavour bwahahahaha. Really now. Send him plain salt, they're great salted thick cut crisps. The "Thai Chili" is awful. Evil fans. Glad he didn't like them.

3. Melkehjerter has never been pronounced in a cuter way. What are you doing, Perth, how wide is your mouth to fit that lump I'm - - Okay, he likes it. That's a really sweet and bland chocolate but okay.

4. Gomp means bird's ass, for the record, but few Norwegians know. Kids like them. Perth too.

5. Omg that poor melted Stratos. Actually that's a really good but very sweet milk chocolate, aerated, and it's nice when it's intact. You'd think melting doesn't alter the taste, but it alters the experience. But how did he find mint in it?!

6. Hockeypulver is NOT entry level! It's sugar and ammonium chloride with a hint of liquorice! Poor Perth. And then he can't stop eating it, I know what that is like.

7. Straight up everyday Maarud Potetgull. Don't worry about the paprika, Perth, it's hardly there, okay he liked it. Btw potetgull is a propriety eponym in parts of Norway - to me, in my dialect area, all crisps are potetgull (often shortened to pottis).

8. Lefsegodt can't have survived the trip... Okay maybe. Congrats on the cinnamon, Perth. Sorry, no, the cinnamon isn't intense. Also, for those foreigners who know of lefse, Lefsegodt isn't that. It's thick lefse with butter, sugar and cinnamon, not thin regular lefse for savoury foods.

9. Lutti Pokémon gummies is something I've never had, so I'll just accept that Perth thinks they're chewy and fairly nice.

10. Mmmmm Smash. They're so fucking addictive. But there's hardly any chocolate left on the one Perth ate, because it's melted... Poor guy didn't get the full Smash experience.

11. Laban Seigmenn are indeed unusually soft for gummies, but were they that awful, Perth? Boo hiss.

12. Gullbrød is great. No it's not supposed to look like that. Ahaha surprise marzipan which he thought was coconut. Doesn't Australia or Thailand do marzipan? He seems completely unfamiliar with it.

13. No, that's called Kvikklunsj, love. It's basically Kit Kat, yes, so it's nice. Glad he liked it.

14. Oh, fancy crisps! From Frosta. Delicious. Very pleased he thinks it's delicious too. Pepper crisps are great.

15. Preparing to fight him about Caramel Smash, because caramel is an abomination. Did he just pronounce it ca-ma-rel? Bedtime, Perth?

16. Omg Lovehearts, I haven't had those since I was about 5 years old and starting to tire of pure sugar sweets. Neither has Perth. There's a reason why we stopped eating them. They're a tried and true heartburn medicine though, or so my friends who have been pregnant say.

17. That is not a Norwegian thing. It's a DDR thing, iirc. Hmph. Glad he didn't like Schlager Süßtafel.

18. Troika is possibly my favourite chocolate, but it's sad that it has melted and I bet he'll hate the marzipan... Okay, the faces he makes are amazing. I almost forgive him for not liking it.

19. Nero is kinda horrible, I think. Perth is adorably surprised at the liquorice, and I don't blame him for not being a fan.

[explorersaremadeofhope]

✨get to know me better meme✨

i was tagged by @telvayns !! 💖

3 ships: ohh. currently it's rossier hours, closely followed by fitzier and uhh. just to pick one of many, i have a lifelong love for spirk.

first ever ship: oh boy. i think it's gotta be something from the vampire chronicles. the first ship i ever read fanfic for was louis/lestat, but that was more coincidence than anything, it was just the first fic i clicked on. (this was in like 2005 on geocities lmao, i had never seen a fanfic in my life.) i was more into daniel/armand.

last song: lmao 'winter wonderland' by doris day, sorry. bad timing.

last movie: norwegian classic 'tante pose' (1940) - a comedy based on a novel from 1904

currently reading: actually the above-mentioned novel! also the second volume of 'a voyage of discovery' by james clark ross, and 'moby-dick'.

currently watching: nothing atm! more generally the last show i started was bbc 'ghosts'!

currently consuming: i interpreted this to mean food, because i'm hungry. nothing, sob

currently craving: bread rolls with butter and cheese, i'm starving (the oven is preheating rn lmao, we're gonna have some)

tagging: hmm @last-smoke, @glassantler, @charliemack, @hypallepse, @bloomrebounds, but please ignore this if you don't fancy it. 💖 anyone else who wants to do it, i'm tagging you! yes, you.

[bratwitchslut]

hi my name is Tommy. I’m a singer and a celebrities and a famers a famous bloggers from norway. some of you may know that we have a butter cris in norway right now. which uhhhh basically means that we can get any butter from the the store. but i have noticed.....that SOME of your comedians inn uhhh Am- USA are making fun of the fact that we don’t have anyyyy butter products. Ehhhmmmmm ......... D...Then I wanna ask you this. what if it was yöu? that didn’t have any butter. what if I came home to you and TOOK your butter from your fridge? fridgerato..fridgerator? and took your butter away from you ..... on any on any on any other day? (clunk) yes and let’s not ehhhhh shove it under the uh the mat. we all know that ehh american people are pretty overweight. .... how would you Feele....what about your sweet potatoes and your sss s as s s s s s s sour cream and your eh sss s s ss. stocking THEN? (holds up butter) do you know what this is? this a traditional Bux of norwegian butter. (open butter) let’s look inside. it’s hardly empty. do you know what’s approaching??? christmas is approach approach approaching. how do you think we feel? do you know what the national christmas cake in norway is??? it’s something called Lusikutter. Pussycats in english. do you know what the main ingredients in the lus in the eh in lusikutter is? BUTTER! do you think this is enough for all the christmas cakes that i was gonna make in ehhh christmas? NO. ........ so FUCK YOU AMERICAAAANNN dssssdssdsdssdss people. because. YOU DONT KNOW HOW IT FEELS BEING WITHOUT BUTTER IN CHRISTMAS TIME. and i ask again. WHAT IF IT WAS YOU??? ...... heh.. who didn’t have BUTTER? would you go ask the neighbor? OH NO THATS RIGHT the neighbor doesn’t have butter either no one in the whole wide fucking country has butter.... i will come to you house. i will go to your fridgerator fridge fridge your fridgerator i will take your butter out of your fridge i will eat the butter in front of you and your families EYES. ... and eh i force you to watch me while i eat ALL your butter! that you were gonna have at christmas eve...ning. you will beg and cry and say “NO DONT EAT ALL OUR BUTTER WE NEED FOR XMAS” i will say “AHAH NOT MY PROBLEM” and take the empty bottle i will throw it down the.stairway. i will go home. and be the way for all you danish people. what if we came and take all your red disgusting SAUSHEG. saushege? ..... i don’t mean to me violent i just have to paint it out so you understann that is not very uhhhhhh uh uh uh nice. we are a country in NEED. and this is the thank. thank you very much.

[birdbeetv]

Okay funny tags are on a different reblog but other tags are making me want to 💥 so: I COMPLETELY GET THIS

I am. White American. Literally so fucking white. My brother took a DNA test and it came out as 100% European. I cannot exaggerate how white I am

HOWEVER. All my "culture" is just. White. It's this sad homogenous goop where everything unique of the immigrants I am descended from was forgotten and never made it's way to me.

I know. A SINGULAR. FUCKING. CULTURAL DISH. Which is Norwegain last i heard. All I fucking know. Is how to roll STORE BOUGHT LEFSE IN BUTTER AND SUGAR. THATS IT. THATS ALL MY FUCKING CULTURE GIVEN TO ME BY MY FAMILY.

Everything else considered regional culture would be gone in like three fucking years of moving states. Or is nothing but consumerism so sugar coated it would make a fucking butterfly vomit.

What else am I supposed to say?? Weed is legal in CO??? Huh???

Like. Yes SOME. SOME places have their own culture. Minnesota is largely Norwegian. Appalachia has its own accent.

But for a lot of white americans, somewhere down the line our grandparents didn't bother to teach their kids their language. Their family recipes. Their songs or their clothing or their sewing or their folk stories or ANYTHING.

Hell, I could go out of my way to try to learn about the cultures I believe I am descended from but at this point in time I have no way to know if I'm actually related in any way. I have no claim to anything because it just doesn't fucjing exist anymore. I don't feel like I could genuinely have a claim to that.

How could I claim to be Irish or Scandinavian when I can't even visit to learn for myself?

It's so fucking depressing to be boiled down to nothing but White and not even have an argument against such. Like. Yay. Cheese or whatever. Wish I knew where my last name came from. Jfc

the 'miku as your culture' trend has really made me process that white americans don't have SHIT in that department. Like I already knew we didn't right but this has made it so very clear. There's customs and dialects but that's like it. We all dress the same. What would I do for a Washington miku. Put her in a red leaf shirt???? Fucking red leaf the coffee chain? They probably have those in other states. I don't even like coffee

[hejscandinavia]

Thursday was boat day! Probably one of the funnest days let me tell yah. The waters were SUPER choppy so we were FLYING! The boat was like a jet ski. We were tossing all over the boat having the BEST time!!! Yanik was with us again and he suggested we hold onto the ceiling railing and jump into the air when the boat goes down. You start floating for a few seconds!!! It was SO FUN! All I could think about was pirates of the Caribbean. And guess what? The captain was too! He played the pirates theme. Man I was I SINGING. It was EPIC!

To pause on the fun, we saw a cliff literally falling off the edge due to permafrost. Basically, Svalbard is built on permafrost. So the island is slowly crashing into the ocean…

We then saw more bird colonies! It was mostly Burniks Gilamont. They look like penguins on the cliffs. We even saw Puffins! But these birds are so fricken small it was hard to get a good photo. The cliff was covered in vegetation. The white rock? Nope. That’s poop. Really seeing the circle of life over here. Which yes, the captain also played that but the Elton John version. Kinda sad.

Then we started to see ice bergs in the water. Wow. These things are so COLORFUL! They are the most brilliant electric blue to a pure white. Apparently, deep blue means less oxygen. You know what I was thinking of. And yes, he played “My Heart Will Go On”! I was 100% belting my heart out.

Then came the GLACIER! It was HUGE! It spread from coast to coast with so many shades of blue. It has plenty of dirt and mud on the top cascading down into the ocean. There was a perfect line at the bottom to the ocean, slicing it. Also from the sediment, the ocean turned an orange tan! It was from the mixing of sediment with freshwater and ocean sea water. It created this crisp line.

We had reindeer soup outside next to glacier, admiring its beauty.

When then took the boat ride back, having just as much fun as before. We arrived back at Longyearbyen to look at water samples. We saw some up close views of algae and calanus!

Also, we had time for shopping So I got some last minute gifts, including a reindeer fur! I’m so happy about it! Furs are less expensive here and plenty soft.

Afterward, we met at a restaurant that was quite the hoot. It had themed roams with plenty of floral and taxidermy of polar animals. We sat in the sun room. We had another AMAZING dinner. It was a tiny duck based appetizer. Then we had bread and butter (just ALWAYS the best). And for dinner was the lovely salmon with the best cooked tomatoes. For desert, we had a Norwegian based cheese cake. It was good as usual.

After dinner, a few of us went to go SWIMMING! We did a real polar plunge. I can confidently say I have been in the Arctic Ocean 😎It was really cold but once you put warm clothes on, it’s really not bad.

Then most of us stayed up at the bar until 2 am because we had our journal due in the morning. Nothing like drinking elderflower spritz while doing homework in 24 hour daylight.

[ourtriptoswedenandnorway]

Oslo Walking Tour Continued

After lunch we continued our walking tour. Here is Oslo’s City Hall. It known for having a lot of art works. We plan on touring inside of the building later during the week when it is open.

The exterior of City Hall has 16 painted wood carved panels built into the side of the brick building. Below are a couple of examples of the art work depicting scenes from Norwegian mythology.

The picture on the left is of Odin, the most powerful god, riding his eight-legged stallion Sleipnir, the fastest stallion in the world. He is holding his spear Gungnir, which hits everything that he hurls it at.

The picture on the right is of Tor, the god of strength who battles giants, drives a chariot drawn by two goats. His hammer causes thunder and lightning when struck.

Behind City Hall is Oslo’s harbor. At the back side of City Hall that faces the harbor we saw the six statues that celebrate the nobility of the working class. Norway, a social democracy, believes in giving respect to the workers who built their society and made it what it is, and these laborers are viewed as heroes. Totally different from America where we seem to idolize CEOs, sports figures, movie stars and entertainers. Not the common working man/woman.

The Oslo harbor.

The National Museum, known for its collection of Norwegian and international art is also at the harbor. We also plan to visit this later in the week.

The Nobel Peace Center shown below celebrates the work of Nobel Pease Prize winners.

After we completed our walking tour we decided to ride the tram in order to see more neighborhoods in Oslo. We took Tram 12 and then transferred to Tram 11 which almost made a complete loop around the central section of Oslo. The trams move extremely fast through the city as they are not constrained by having to compete with a lot of cars on the street. Are there cars on the street? Yes, but there are not many, because vechiles are charged a toll to enter various toll rings within Oslo.

For dinner we ate at Det Peppern Gror. It was a very popular Indian restaurant in the City Hall area and is rated by TripAdvisor as second best restaurant in Oslo. We had butter chicken, chicken tikka masala and garlic naan. The food was great! Food and eating out is expensive in Oslo, as it is one of the most expensive cities to live in the world.

Even with being expensive, they say Norwegians are among the happiest people in the world. Some people say it is because they live collectively and are very considerate. I guess there is a cost for that happiness.

[arandomnomad]

Making that Norwegian Butter Cookie recipe from ye olde tumblr, and apparently I don't know my pan sizes 😅

[karawatermelon]

When I was about 15, my parents hosted all of my paternal grandmother's side of the family. Like 30 folks in total, ranging from older than my grandma to little kids.

Well, on the last night of the reunion (it was over a long weekend), we broke out all the traditional stuff from my grandmother's Norwegian youth- lefse rolls of all kinds, smoked salmon, lamb stew, lots of cabbage and potatoes, etc. We listened to music, played games, told family stories of days in Norway, and told jokes.

At the very end of the night, one of my great uncles stands up, and says "Before we all go, I have one complaint." He looked at my mother and said, "The food was excellent, [my mom], but I didn’t see any lutefisk!" He fished around in his pocket and pulled out a recipe card and then his reading glasses.

All of us kids were silent now, curious if one of the adults was about to get embarrassed.

He begins reading the recipe from the card, all seriousness, and I'm seeing my mother wilt that she somehow left out this piece of family history. The recipe is as follows, best I can remember:

1. Dry cod filets, cure with salt.

2. About two weeks before eating, soak the filets in water, changing it every day for 5 days.

3. Put the filets in a mixture of water and lye (yes, that lye) for one to two days. This will make it gelatinous, but also poisonous.

4. Soak the filets in fresh water for an equal amount of time to remove the lye.

Congrats, you now have lutefisk that is ready to be cooked. It was at this point I begin to think this is not all above board. My dad has that little twinkle in his eye he gets when he's done something to prank my mom. Anyway, the recipe continues:

5. Put it on a clean pine board.

6. Flatten the fish, you want an even layer of lutefisk across.

7. Put salt, pepper and butter on the fish.

8. Bake it for 30 minutes on the board.

9. Let it cool.

10. Throw out the lutefisk and eat the board!

Now, when lutefisk pops up in conversation, my brothers, dad, or I will always chime in "Eat the board!" 🤣

(Relatedly, we say "oof da" unironically in my family, a phrase that I have been told roughly translates to a more polite "ah shit".)

Tell me about a joke that you and your family absolutely lose your shit over that other people would not get.

Tell me about the very unique way you pick on each other.

Or tell me about a pop culture reference your family will never let die and you’ve never heard any other family use it.

*chin on hands* I just love hearing these stories. (I’m obsessed with little loser microcultures like families and very niche fandoms) So lay it on me.