#'With a man like Xiao to show your devotion to‚ you’re sure that you are.'

[windblooms]

liyue boys – how they kiss their s/o

liyue boys × gender-neutral!reader; 1.4k words. sfw headcanons of how baizhu, childe, chongyun, xiao, xingqiu, and zhongli kiss their s/o. 

- ̗̀ baizhu  ̖́-

while baizhu’s reputation as the swindler from bubu pharmacy precedes him, even in normal day-to-day matters, he makes an effort to convey his sincerity to you when the moment is opportune.  typically, this is at the conclusion of the day, when the pharmacy takes its time to rest and the buzz of the moon overtakes liyue.

his touch on your wrist is loose, as if he intends to just feel your presence instead of seize it, to observe but not meddle; just as he does with changsheng, he finds great comfort in keeping you tethered to him through this contact.  

when baizhu romances you, it’s in the privacy of your office, or the stocking room – anywhere besides the service area, so you’re the only one who witnesses his dropped mask. 

his lips glide to your temple, serpentine and brisk, peppering short kisses down to your jaw.  his ministrations are rather sensual for a man so weak in composition, especially considering that he’s rather ruthless with his business dealings and doesn’t even spare a fraction of a discount for the desperate – but this gentler display is nonetheless welcome.

“and how can i help you tonight?  no, this isn’t bartering.  i mean this genuinely, for the one who can tolerate my short-comings as forgivingly as you do.  a new box of qingxin arrived this afternoon, and perhaps you’d like a look at it . . . ”

- ̗̀ childe / tartaglia  ̖́-

childe is excellent at the chase, and each time, his catch is you.  perhaps it’s his constant need for stimulus (he’s never been one for idleness) and the subsequent calling in his blood for a thrill.  his penchant for battle has made him flexible to most tricky scenarios, and thus he’s adept to what makes things tick – 

– including people.  and, of course, you. 

his greetings are customarily followed by doting kisses.  they’re gentle on your skin, like the drifting of snowflakes from the sky, yet there’s a bite to them as well, as if he’s nipping at you even without his teeth.  they’re innocently teasing at best, but at worst, grabbing all of your senses with their bold allure. 

“haha, got your attention now, have i?  no need to make that face!  ah, i promise.  be a bit more patient for me, and i’ll give you what you want.”

he prefers to give the kisses that he knows will consume you whole, cushion you in warmth like beach sand in the summer, but just as swiftly drag you undertow – namely, at the corners of your mouth, the height of your cheekbones, the pulses on your neck, and the rise of your collarbones. 

whether he leaves you with flushed cheeks and a stuttering voice, or absolutely breathless, you stir him all the same.

- ̗̀ chongyun  ̖́-

he’s a very straightforward individual, naively so sometimes – inherently wholesome, and that translates over to his relationship with you.  admittedly, he doesn’t display bold affections towards you all that much because he’s, well, shy.  he’d never thought of romantics before he became involved with you, and even then, all he’s heard about couples and love birds are from xingqiu – not the most trustworthy source.

“ah – i do not . . . i don’t have the words to describe . . . i apologize, but i really don’t know how to explain this light feeling in my chest.  but you seem to be happy!  and that’s really what matters to me.”

chongyun pecks you gently, as if he’s dealing with the finest of jade fragments.  very innocently, as well: just as a bird finds satisfaction in a well-kept nest, so does the young exorcist in the pleased reactions he draws from you.  

the two of you have yet to share a kiss on the lips.  and, honestly, it isn’t something characteristic of chongyun to want to engage with.  he has an ample reserve of boyish youth in him, and even at the thought of partaking in such an intimate act (xingqiu teases him to no end for this, but nonetheless chongyun’s perspective is understood) makes him red in the face. 

instead, he settles for your fingers, the back of your hand, and your cheeks.  light in sentiment, like the mild ice-cream he indulges in.

- ̗̀ xiao  ̖́-

if you’re fire, then xiao is afraid that he’s the water that will extinguish your light.  he’s harmed so many others, even when he never intended to, and doesn’t even want to think about you ending up the same way.  so he abstains, for the longest time, until you reassure him that he’s okay, that he’s suffered enough, and that he needs to live, too. 

xiao kisses you like both of you will break.  his lips barely even touch you, as if his presence is only part of your imagination, a fleeting zephyr in the liyue evening; he even hesitates to use his hands at first because only archons know how he’s razed the land with them.  they hover over your hips, and in moments of indulgence, he imagines how it would feel to hold you, unchained from his past.

“you make it easier for me to tolerate the days.  don’t look so concerned – there’s no need for you to worry about me.  you’re the one in the more precarious situation.  but i guess that’s one more thing that’s admirable about you . . . too trusting for your own good.”

in his mind, he cradles your hands, so much softer than his own, with no reason to raise a weapon.  he wishes to keep you that way, safeguarded from the cruelness of the world, and his lips cherish your knuckles, the backs of your hands, and all the way to your wrists.

- ̗̀ xingqiu  ̖́-

“what a thrilling smile on your face!  definitely one for the books.  yes – i’ve decided that you’ll be the inspiration for this next scene i write.  ah, actually, i need to outline it first . . . you won’t mind, right?  perfect, this is just the circumstance i’ve been looking for.”

like fresh flowers in a spring meadow, he’s as exuberant as he is vibrant with life.  he’ll come to you in the mornings, bid you a good day and plant a light peck on the corner of your mouth, delighted at the sight of you.  or, just when he’s stopping by your place, he’ll also make sure to commemorate your meeting with another smooch.  

xingqiu is, admittedly, easy to please when in a relationship, merely because he’s with who he wants the most: you, and his writing, all that he needs.  while he may joke about intertwining you into his writing, he truly does intend to cherish you. 

he enjoys toying with the sleeves of your top when he’s near, just because he can.  bonus points if you let him tug you along, and he’ll even make a show out of giving a playful kiss on the tip of your nose.  they make you feel all fluttery in your stomach, because it’s only something that he would even think about doing – keeping you light on your toes, just like his flexible poise.

- ̗̀ zhongli  ̖́-

his affections are just as proper as his composure.  zhongli’s actions are soft, reverent, and appreciative of your presence.  never once do you doubt his devotion to you when his hand grazes your arm, a finger catching around your wrist, or when he steadies you with his palm on your shoulder.  it might be subconscious on his behalf, but his gentle measures soothe you immensely.

unsurprisingly, his kisses are chaste, with only fondness and warmth behind them.  he adores you like the sun does an open field, bracing your body to his with the slightest of suggestions from his hands on your waist.  zhongli is exceedingly pleased when you reciprocate his physicality, especially when you wrap your arms around his neck in return – the gleam in his eyes betray just as much.

his lips find themselves tenderly on your own, and your forehead and cheeks.  when in more intimate environments, namely either of your rooms, he’ll worship the pulse on your neck, however not in an erotic fashion.  he only ventures there to treasure the flow of life in your body, to revere the rhythm of you.

“times have come and gone.  consider me obstinate in my beliefs, but the one of the things that have remained apparent to me over millennia are contracts.  contracts of business, of relationships, of morals – everything.  promises, if you prefer to call them.  so i promise you this: there is not a day that will go by when i will not devote myself to you, wholly, and completely.”

[craptsukii]

genshin boys and terms of endearment they'd use

a/n: this is my first time writing headcanons and ngl i found them quite difficult to format :( i’m liking this style for now, but things might change later on teehee anyway, lemon cake update next week, i promise!

♡༚࿐ 🇩‌🇮‌🇱‌🇺‌🇨‌

let’s get something out of the way first

diluc is not a jerk

sure, he might have tsundere tendencies but he’s definitely not as cold as people make him seem

in my opinion anyway

i like to call him a classy, but also a very private, softie

i can totally see him as someone who’d use terms such as darling, love, doll

a major factor here is the time and place

in public, he tries to seem more indifferent and will most likely refer to you by your name

however, in a more private setting, he has no inhibitions and actually prefers using nicknames!

I feel like diluc would want to really reassure their partner he truly cares about them, but in a direct yet indirect way

and calling you sweet things seems to get the message across.

listen to this while reading!

If only time could pass faster. Who knew waiting could be such an agonising activity? Such a simple but repetitive thing. Waiting for your cake to finish baking, waiting for the morning to arrive and even waiting for your lover to come home turned out to be much more of a challenge. It wasn’t unusual for Diluc to spend hours on end at Angel’s Share, but it was rather odd of him to break his promises.

A sad smile took over your features, remembering last night. Remembering his words, so sweet and benign, promising to dedicate you all of him and his time. His crimson red eyes, full of love and admiration for the person he held so dearly to his heart. His voice, so demure and nothing but a soft whisper, as if raising it would ruin the moment. The moment he shared with you in a little dark corner of Mondstadt, away from curious eyes and sharp ears. The moment he so desperately wanted to hold onto. Yet, the darknight hero was nowhere to be found.

By the time he finally arrived, your eyes were already closing. It was a gloved hand that pulled you out of your somnolent state. Yet again those same red eyes were looking into yours with the same devotion, if not stronger than the night he made his promise.

“Forgive me, love,” he pleaded in a shushed tone, “Kaeya came in and started causing a commotion and I couldn’t just leave.” he continued, his thumb brushing over your cheek delicately.

Too tired to say anything, you placed your hand over his, silently asking him to join you in bed. You had all the time in the world to discuss tomorrow... Hopefully. After discarding his black coat on one of the chairs and taking off his shoes, Diluc plopped in your shared bed, not even bothering to change into something more comfortable. Soon his arms were around your waist, bringing you closer to his chest. His smell reminded you of grapes and it completely enveloped you as you nestled into him.

“If only I could turn back time…” Diluc murmured to himself, kissing the top of your head. “Nothing will come in between us and our time together tomorrow. I promise you, darling.”

Turns out that, in the end, he does keep his promises.

♡༚࿐ 🇽‌🇮‌🇦‌🇴‌

listen to this while reading!

my very polite baby

like sure, he’s straightforward

but he be treating everyone with respect

you might be wondering why that matters

well that's because i think xiao would see it as a little rude to not refer to someone important to him by their name

names play a major part in xiao’s past

with rex lapis re-naming him after taking him under his wing and such

so, in my opinion, xiao finds calling out your name way more meaningful than nicknames

although if he were to use one it would probably be dear

it’s short and he can still address you as “dear (name)”

it does sound quite formal at times though

Moments like this were rare. Usually, sleep doesn’t concern your lover in the slightest, as it rarely comes to him. Although you couldn’t help but admit how much you loved it when he did come and sleep. Cuddled up next to you was the vigilant yaksha, the well known protector of Liyue. And dare you say, it was truly a divine sight. In the wash of the morning light, his face took the appearance of an old photograph, so nostalgic, so at peace. Slowly, one of your hands brushed past his face, placing the few rebel aquamarine strands that were cascading down his cheek behind his ear. For a moment, you find yourself in perfect silence, Xiao’s soft breaths being the only sounds that could be discerned. Without realising, you started softly rubbing his back, your heart leaping at the content purr that followed shortly after.

It was almost impossible to put into words the joy this brought you. Although it was such a simple, mundane thing, seeing Xiao so at ease was by far your favourite memory with him. The more you studied his features the more your sight fell upon his lips. The sudden urge to kiss him overwhelmed you, wanting nothing more than to cherish and show your lover the affection he deserves.

If only the sudden chirping of birds didn’t scare you, barely a few inches away from his face.

Curse those birds and their awful timing! And so, you backed away, laughing to yourself in self-consciousness, thankful that no one was aware of your little mishap.

Or so you thought.

You felt your face get warmer the moment you saw Xiao looking at you, drowsiness still coating his eyes. Yet again, for another short moment, no sound could be heard.

“____ my dear” he said, his voice deep and hoarse, snaking his arms around you as he brought you closer to him, “if you won’t do it, I will.” it was then the flush across his cheeks became apparent to you. Shame you didn’t have time to savour it, his lips immediately finding yours in a sweet, dream like kiss.

Moments like this were truly worth treasuring.

♡༚࿐ 🇨‌🇭‌🇮‌🇱‌🇩‌🇪‌

in contrast with xiao, childe loves calling you cute nicknames

in fact, he barely uses your name!

sometimes he likes to tease you and pretend he forgot your actual name

of course that’s not true,he could never do such a thing

I can totally see him use pet names such as comrade, girlie, cutie, shawty, sweetness, princess/prince, baby

ok i know shawty is kind of random, but i think he’d use kind of ironically?

I think he’d also use big sister/brother just to tease you, even if you’re younger than him

he heard teucer refer to you as such one time and it honestly melted his heart a little bit

as a side note, seeing his siblings get along you makes him genuinely happy.

listen to this while reading!

Spring was such a beautiful time. Especially in Liyue. Especially on a date with the one and only Childe, eleventh of the Fatui harbingers. For someone with such a fearsome title and reputation, it wowed you to no end just how charming, just plain adorable, Tartaglia can be. Albeit, it was only your second date, it was expected of him to at least try to be nice.

And on time.

As you waited, under that beautiful sky, a hue so gentle between cloud and baby blue, you watched each bird upon wing. It was one of those spring days with a kiss of coldness that somehow heightened the warm rays of the sun. You paused to admire the flowers, to sense their aromas, to be in the moment with their transient beauty.

“Lovely, aren’t they?” asked Childe from behind you, a shy, perhaps slightly embarrassed, smile painted on his lips. “Sorry I’m late, I really overestimated my juniors’ capabilities and I had to step in.” he continued, gingerly taking hold of your hand, kissing the back of it.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his gentlemanly antics, although you enjoyed them nonetheless. “Don’t worry about it, you’re here now.” you reassured him, as you took a hold of his hand, already leading him towards nowhere in particular.

Another thing you liked about him. Things were so casual, so easy-going. One might call this date nothing but a hangout, but not every date has to be a luxurious five star dinner or a fancy show. Sometimes just a simple walk along the Liyue port was enough. Enough for you to get to know Childe, enough for you to like him even more.

Suddenly, Tartaglia was in front of you, his hands lightly taking hold of your face.

“Hold on cutie, there’s something on your face,” he answered your silent question, seeing as you looked a little confused. The next thing you knew, his lips descended upon yours. It was a sudden but very much welcomed kiss. A kiss that unfortunately ended just as abruptly, “it was me.”

♡༚࿐ 🇿‌🇭‌🇴‌🇳‌🇬‌🇱‌🇮‌

favourite peepaw

also prefers using your name rather than nicknames

but he’s not completely against them

he finds them quite nice actually

and he actually enjoys being referred by one!

like imagine going for a stroll with him and all of a sudden you go "darling, look!"

he'd look so content oh my lord

in my opinion anyway

he’d usually call you honey, my beloved or even my one and only!

you could be doing the simplest of things like reading with him under a tree

and he'd go "you're my one and only love"

no, he isn’t aware of how cheesy it sounds.

listen to this while reading!

Who knew the God of contracts could be such a romantic? Usually, Zhongli wasn’t a big fan of fancy, elaborate dates. He’d usually say something along the lines that “spending time with you was enough for him to feel like the richest man in the world”, which he technically was even without your presence. But, quite frankly, it was because he lacked the funds to do so that he didn’t pamper you every moment of the day.

So when you found yourself face to face with an array of different foods, meticulously prepared and arranged on a soft picnic blanket, you couldn’t help but wonder —

“Why the sudden change?” you asked, sitting down on the plush cover, to which Zhongli only chuckled.

“Am I not allowed to change my mind?” he replied in a teasing tone, flopping next to you.

“Oh, you are more than welcome to do so,” you winked, pouring some tea for both of you. It smelled like chamomile, “I was just trying to say it’s a nice change.” you continued, taking a few sips of your tea.

Zhongli only hummed, content with your response. Sometimes, sitting in silence, all while eating delicious brunch foods and drinking sweet tea, was much more enjoyable than small talk.

And so, you spend the rest of the day with your lover, basking in the sunshine and each other’s company. In his embrace, there was something so right, something that felt right, smelt right. You let your body sag, your muscle become loose. In that embrace you felt your worries loose their keen sting and your optimism raise its head from the dirt.

“You’re so beautiful, my beloved,” he whispered, cupping your face and kissing you gently.

♡༚࿐ 🇰‌🇦‌🇪‌🇾‌🇦‌

avid user of nicknames

partially because he finds them cute

and partially because he loves teasing you

he’d use them in public and try to get a reaction out of you

like let’s say all of a sudden kaeya is back hugging you, pampering your neck with kisses

saying something like “what’s wrong, baby?”

he’d also use hot stuff, sweet cheeks, gorgeous, handsome, cutie pie, treasure

sometimes they’re really sweet, other times they’re really silly

side note, i feel like this one got a little out of hand sorry yall i lowkey can’t take kaeya seriously

listen to this while reading!

There was something so heavenly about a kiss in the rain, a tender moment that just wouldn’t wait. It was that burst of love that is expressed, not caring if the water soaked through to chill the skin. You felt yourself gasping for air as Kaeya’s lips left yours, doe like eyes searching for his. Behind that brilliant shade of blue sparkled a glacial attraction. So complex and mysterious, it was magnetic. It made you want him even more.

Upon seeing your dazed state Kaeya smiled, clearly enjoying the effect he had on you. His hands found yours. “Let’s get you of here before you catch a cold.” he said, leading you down the streets of Mondstadt. It was the middle of August, and you got caught in nothing more than a summer rain. You weren’t even cold, but alas you let it slide, enjoying seeing Kaeya worry about you, even if it wasn’t as serious as he made it seem.

There is something about a rain-washed pathway that invites playful feet, that says each new step will be rewarded with a splash. And soon, you found yourself splashing around, making the most out of this accidental rain shower.

The moment you finally reached your home, Kaeya wasted no time, his arms already wrapped around you in a tight embrace. Yet again, a gasp escaped your mouth, Kaeya’s cold lips leaving goosebumps behind each carefully placed kiss on your neck.

“You know what’s the best way to get warmed up, treasure?” he asked, his hands ghosting over your hips.

You shook your head softly, awaiting his answer.

“A good old dance party!” he exclaimed, spinning you around as he started humming a cheerful. “Nothing gets the blood going like a little movement!” it was obvious he found great pleasure in seeing your more than confused, if not disappointed, expression. Still, he paid you no mind and continued dancing with you all while singing a cheery melody.

It was quite save to assume there was never a boring moment with this man.

♡༚࿐ 🇦‌🇱‌🇧‌🇪‌🇩‌🇴‌

my favourite elevator boy

doesn’t love nicknames but doesn’t hate them either

i see him as an action speak louder than words guy

and although he’s aware that, as his partner, you know that

he still feels sorry for not being as vocal as other people when it comes to talking about his emotions??

so cute terms like these are a simple way he can show his appreciation for you

for some reason, i think he would really like using diminutives??

he’d call you things like little star

or baby or lovebug

i think it really matches his vibe ngl

listen to this while reading!

The breeze blew warm announcing the coming of summer's hottest days. The aroma of the tall grasses were an intoxicating perfume and the starry night above was a painting more sublime than any man could create. The clarity above became reflected in your mind.

Being with Albedo meant putting up with the unholy amount of hours he’d spend on whatever research he’d be conducting at the time. And luckily for you, his next big discovery involved the stars. On the black sky above you, there were a multitude of stars and there were lighter patches, clusters of faint and bold light, the constellations altered according to the time of year. These were the same stars that greeted the ancients, the same ones that would be there in millions of years.

As you enjoyed your little midnight snack, your gaze fell upon the chief alchemist. His eyes were fixated on the landscape above him, utterly fascinated by the world’s mystic beauty. Seeing him so consumed by his studies made your heart feel warm. It was adorable to see him like this.

Your sudden yawn made both you look at each other. Albedo’s gaze was filled with compassion, and perhaps a little remorse for making you come with him so late in the night just to stare blankly at the sky.

But you knew this wasn’t such a trivial thing.

You pet the spot next to you, silently asking him to sit down with you, to which he immediately obliged. As his head found its place on your shoulder a little sad smile made its appearance on his face.

“Sorry for making you come here with me, baby.” he said, his hand drawing patterns along your thigh. “I know this isn’t your idea of quality time.”

“Any time spent with you is quality time, silly.” you giggled, kissing the top of his head. “And besides, who doesn’t enjoy a little bit of stargazing?”

♡༚࿐ 🇻‌🇪‌🇳‌🇹‌🇮‌

ok now for venti

i feel like with him the tone he uses is very important??

i mean this also applies to the rest of the guys

but for venti even more so

he could simply refer to you by your name and it would still feel all special and bubbly

nonetheless, he loves using pet names!

i mean as a bard, he can come up with poems and such on a whim ( flashback to the signora moment :) )

so his nicknames for you always have a certain meaning or funny story behind them

oh, you love pumpkins or had an unfortunate accident involving one? now he calls you pumpkin all the time

he’d also call you things like sunshine because to him you bring so much joy and you warm his heart just like the sun.

with that being said, good luck to those pulling for him! <3

listen to this while reading!

“There you go! You’re really good at this!” Venti complimented you, observing in great detail the way your fingers touched the strings of his lyre.

Judging by the curious stares and even odd looks you’d get from time to time, that wasn’t really the case. What was supposed to be a simple walk around the city turned out to be a full concert. Although Venti couldn’t find it in his heart to tell you, who asked him so eagerly just a few moments ago if he could teach how to play a song, just how… Poor was your attempt.

A relieved sigh could be heard the moment your fingers left the strings, although Venti’s reassuring smile never left his face. “Don’t let a few strangers discourage you! Even the greatest geniuses had to start somewhere!”

“Are you saying I’m a genius?” you asked teasingly with a raised eyebrow, laughing at his flustered face.

“Let’s not go that far…” he murmured, winking cheekily.

“And here I was, thinking I could wow you with my insane musical skills…” you whined sarcastically, handing him his lyre as you continued your stroll. It was then Venti stopped in his tracks. Upon his face, shock was written all over, his expression soon turning sympathetic. For a moment, he left you alone, diving into the crowd of people, only to return to you with a single cecilia flower. Its fragrance was sweet and fresh and its color a perfect white. Shortly after, he gently placed it behind your ear, smiling to himself while looking at you.

“You don’t need fancy tricks to win over what you already have,” Venti said, kissing your cheek lightly. A cheerful tune could be heard across the street, Venti’s soft melody attracting a lot of attention, “I’m all yours, sunshine.” he said loud enough for more than a few people to hear.

He has such a way with words, doesn’t he?

[inessencedevided]

What your favourite mdzs/cql ship says about you

So, by absolutely nobody's request I made a shitpost based on Eldena Doubleca5t’s awesome youtube videos. I included the link to the channel in the source because this post won’t show up if i put it here. Go give her videos a watch and then read this post in her voice because I swear to you it'll be a 100% funnier

Also, these are absolutely NOT to be taken seriously. I was just procrastinating by taking the piss out of these characters. I’m not here to start any ship wars. I don’t even have a legit opinion on over half these ships ^^ (though I DID jokingly include why I ship some of these. You can guess which)

Lan Wangji / Wei Wuxian (cql)

You’re always a slut for period dramas.

Lan Wangji / Wei Wuxian (novel)

You’re always a slut for the exact OPPOSITE of period dramas, which is sexual tension culminating in kinky consensual dub-con sex and copious amounts of pda.

Nie Mingjue / Lan Xichen

Your ideal high-school romance is jock/nerd.

Lan Xichen / Jin Guangyao

You’re a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of devotion, deception and despair.

Wei Wuxian / Mo Xuanyu

You were looking at that tumblr memes about fucking your clone and thought “Mhh ...”

Wei Wuxian / Wen Ning

You don’t understand people who say they wouldn’t date their best friend. Like, aren’t you best friends for a reason?

Wen Ning / Wei Wuxian / Lan Wangji

You either just wanted good things for Wei Wuxian (and really who wouldn’t?) OR you’re just ... really horny.

Luo Qingyang / Jiang Yanli

You read mdzs and watched cql and each time a woman was in a scene you just thought “Aren’t you tired of being nice? Don't you just want to go ape shit?”

Wen Ning / Jiang Cheng

You are YuBin. (there’s a post on his Weibo. it’s brilliant)

Wei Wuxian / Xue Yang

You have a secret necrophilia kink that you won’t admit to under threat of torture.

Wei Wuxian / Wen Qing

You want a girlfriend who not only can kick your ass, but will do so upon request.

Wen Qing / Jiang Cheng

You are a firm believer in 👏 men 👏 getting 👏 pegged.

Baoshan-Sanren / Lan Yi

You are a lesbian who loves MILFs

Jin Zixuan / Jiang Yanli

You’re ideal relationship dynamic is sitcom-wife/sitcom-dad

Lan Wangji / Jin Zixuan

Your ideal date involves awkward silence and stilted conversation.

Wei Wuxian / Jiang Cheng

You're really into sibling incest, but manage to pretend that you're not.

Ouyang Zizhen / Jin Ling

You're always a slut for grumpy “tough” boys who go soft for one ☝️ man.

Wen Qing / Jiang Yanli

Your ideal relationship dynamic is just girls bein’ friends, gals bein’ pals.

Jiang Fengmian / Yu Ziyuan

This is just the same joke as Wen Qing / Jiang Cheng  but you also have a strong fondness for MILFs

Lan Sizhui / Jin Ling

You got your start in online fandom shipping drarry.

Lan Sizhui / Ouyang Zizhen

You love soft boys (too good for this world, too pure) so much that one day you were like, “Hey! You know what’s better than one soft boy? Two soft boys!”

Lan Jingyi / Jin Ling

You're a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of being bullied.

Lan Sizhui / Lan Jingyi

That’s just the same joke as Wei Wuxian / Jiang Cheng, but you just can’t with all their trauma.

Song Lan / Xiao Xingchen

You don't understand why anyone would care about a couple with a canonical happy ending when there’s a worst-timeline-au parallel ship right there.

Song Lan / Xiao Xingchen / Xue Yang

Based on my experience with this side of the fandom you‘re either into hardcore psychological horror or fluff so sweet it’s cotton-candy and there is no in-between.

Xue Yang / Xiao Xingchen 

That’s just the same joke as Song Lan / Xiao Xingchen / Xue Yang, but you never forgave Song Lan.

Cangse Sanren / Wei Chanze

You're a firm believer in keeping things ☝️ canon and keeping things ✌️ wholesome.

Yu Ziyuan / Cangse-Sanren

You love the dynamic of teenage Wangxian, but you’re also a lesbian.

Jin Guangyao / Xue Yang

You were absolutely fucking thrilled when be gay do crime became the hot new meme.

Jing Guangyao / Su She

You’re a firm believerin the inherent eroticism of class-solidarity.

Luo Qingyang / Wen Qing

Honestly, this is just the same joke as Luo Qingyang / Jiang Yanli, but you’re also into girls out-topping each other.

Madam Lan / Cangse Sanren

You just want good things for Madam Lan and really, who wouldn't?

Wei Wuxian / Jiang Yanli

That's just the same joke as Wei Wuxian / Jiang Cheng BUT you're also heterosexual. 

Nie Mingjue / Jin Guangyao

Your new favourite meme is that exchange that's like "go fuck yourself!" - "fuck me yourself, you coward!"

Nie Mingjue / Lan Xichen / Jin Guangyao

You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of failed conflict negotiations and unsolved moral dilemmata.

Nie Huaisang / Wei Wuxian

You're ideal date involves wacky hijinks after which PAIN ensues.

Lan Xichen / Nie Huaisang

You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of shared trauma.

Lan Xichen / Jiang Cheng

You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of shared trauma AND working through it together.

Wen Ruohan / Lan Qiren

I can’t say for sure that you wanna fuck dads, but you definetly want to fuck father figures.

Luo Qingyang / Luo Qingyang's husband

You’re always a slut for characters who are in dire need of more screantime.

Lan Wangji / Jiang Cheng

You don't understand why anyone would care about a happy marriage when there's an unstable love/hate relationship to fuck around with.

Luo Qingyang / Lan Wangji

You ... are Wei Wuxian

[fallinfl0wers]

love stories with some genshin boys i thought of while listening to my playlists

includes: aether (210 words), xiao (261 words), scaramouche (277 words) and albedo (307)

warnings (?): spoilers of ‘we will be reunited’, english is not my native language and uhh idk what else, idk really know what these are, headcanons ?? snippets ?? also not beta read and not edited.

it’s long so uhhh i’ll add a cut somewhere

anyway enjoy!! ...whatever this is i guess

Aether

Falling in love with Aether is like a fun adventure. He, being always the center of attention and the protagonist no matter where he goes, is a free spirited, kind and hardworking man. 

Throughout your time travelling and being in a relationship together, you’ll find that your relationship with the Honorary Knight is one of sweet kisses under the sunlight; innocent handholding while thinking up of what to make for dinner tonight; of easily talked out arguments and finding ways to compromise; of softly pushing each other to become a better version of themselves and, most of all, of supporting and having each other’s backs no matter what.

And when Aether confronts the Abyss Princess face to face for the first time and his world comes crashing down on him, this trait of your relationship shines like no other, as you hold him in your arms after everything was over during the night, Paimon sleeping soundly next to the both of you inside your improvised campsite.

“Even though I’m not sure what -or who- I should believe anymore, I... I know I want to see this journey to the end, and I want you to be there with me for it. Let’s be together until the last moment and beyond.”

Songs:

Snow Fairy - Funkist

Snowing, be honest with yourself and smile When two people are getting closer, time overlaps Fairy, where are you going I will gather all the light and shine it on your tomorrow

Still Lonely - SEVENTEEN

This cursed popularity. Why won’t it leave me? But why am I getting lonelier The early morning chill makes me feel Even lonelier today I feel completely empty, as if I’m empty

Kanpeki Gu~ no ne - Watarirouka Hashiritai

I'm at a loss for words, with this and that, I'm totally in love with you Someday, I want do the same to you: Watch you flounder, At a loss for words right back to me!

Side by Side - The8 from SEVENTEEN

I want to hold hands with you but I don't know what to do what to do oh baby I want to give all my heart to you but You still don't know what's in my heart

Hope - Namie Amuro

At the end of this blue, wide world there's a place I want to aim at with you We chose this long ago for eternity

Xiao

Falling in love with Xiao is like living a bittersweet dream. The Vigilant Yaksha is far from human, or so he says, and thus is out of touch with the way we mortals experience feelings, both the negative and positive ones.

Your relationship with him is one of compassion, mutual understanding, appreciation and patience. So, so much patience. Of intertwined pinkies and soft stolen glances, of shy smiles and comfortable silence sometimes filled with your voice chatting time away and his short responses to your talks.

I mentioned patience. He knows you’re making an enormous effort to try and understand him and be patient with him and his slow learning process of how relationships work, so it’s only fair that he makes a true effort to understand you and your feelings.

Xiao is well aware that he could hurt you without wanting to, be it with his blunt phrasing of his thoughts or his Karmic Debt, as much as he is aware that you will eventually pass away and leave him behind to go somewhere he can’t follow, and that undeniable truth haunts him every second of every day he gets to spend with you. And still, he wishes and wants and does cherish each and every warm, kind feeling he gets every single second you’re together nonetheless.

“I might not know what to make of these new feelings you gave me. But I’ll learn. I promise I’ll learn, so please... don’t go, not yet. Let me treasure you and carve you into my memory for as long as I can.”

Songs:

Euphoria - BTS

I don't know what this emotion is Perhaps this is also the inside of a dream A dream is the blue mirage of the desert Deep inside of me, a priori I become happy to the point of being unable to breathe The surroundings, bit by bit, become clearer

Fallin’ Flower - SEVENTEEN

While flower blooms and falls, scars cure and buds shoot We are living our first and last moment So I won’t take you for granted Because you loved me as I am

Fear - SEVENTEEN

Get out my mind I can't handle it, I'm afraid of myself The truth has me tied up My heart is tainted I'm afraid it'll eventually change you too

The Truth Untold - BTS, Steve Aoki

It’s my fate Don’t smile to me Light on me Because I can’t get closer to you There’s no name you can call me

You know that I can’t Show you me Give you me I can’t show you a ruined part of myself Once again I put a mask on and go to see you But I still want you

Tiny Light - Akari Kitō

Because you colored my unchanging monochromatic days Even the blurred darkness gained meaning

Still, hidden in this heart, these feelings of preciousness so strong that they hurt I just want to convey these feelings to only you before they disappear someday

Scaramouche

Falling in love with Scaramouche is like constantly playing a game. He’s strict, demanding, disagreeable, and widely disliked by enemies and allies alike. Still, he has a heart too; and he holds desires and hopes deep inside of it, although most of them are fueled by the unchanging curiosity he has towards the world around him, curiosity to know what he can get out of whatever the world wants to throw at him.

You were no exception to that rule, at first.

When he met you he wanted to get something from you. And you knew it from the start, just as he knew that you knew. And that didn’t change anything, at first.

Your relationship with him is one of dangerously playful, yet still light-hearted games of seduction, teasing and deceit; of secret kisses exchanged in expensive private rooms in restaurants or the cozy warmth of your home, of an unspoken shared respect and, most of all, complete, mutual devotion.

You know Scaramouche is not a good man. He has done many, many unspeakable things in his life as one of the Eleven, and he knows he’s far from being the perfect charming prince you could aim for, but he will never let you go. Because behind those hardened walls of egocentrism and pride, you saw what no one else bothered to see. You saw him, not the role he was playing, you saw him and fell in love with him.

“To be honest, I don’t think I could find anyone else who understands me as much as you do. And no, I’m not saying this because I want something, give me some more credit, geez...”

Songs:

soldier game -  µ’s

You'll come with me, yes? You've grown curious about my touch, yes? Then it's already love Since you're someone I must meet in battle someday, That might just be your reason It's soldier game Though we've met again, I'm soldier heart

Kowareyasuki - Guilty Kiss

Just stop it already and show your heart only to me I love your eyes that are about to cry And your defenseless, clumsy way of living too (...) The hesitation you convey makes my chest hurt Some people just don't know what such kindness is But then I discover the truth When we got together, you don't have to endure anymore Right now, show your grief only to me I like that you think too much The complete opposite of me

Shhh - SEVENTEEN

Don't think of all these as your mere illusion They're not lies that follow the moment No one can underestimate it, my feelings are an ignition 'Cause I'm always the same Me and you, we got hurt by the lies that we won't ever work But it's fate

(...)

So I can cover you from danger A consented dedication

(...)

It's as natural as breathing An everlasting dedication

Good to me - SEVENTEEN

Yeah, when you were making that sign in my heart It was a long time since my firewall broke down Pass with the password What in the world do you know about me? Are my deep feelings seen by you?

Hiraishin - Keyakizaka46

(To trust is to be betrayed, to open one’s heart is to get hurt So to avoid being struck by lightning-like sorrow…)

Which side am I picking? Ah, these values are hard to handle That’s why I won’t stop watching over you Positive positive positive You should just be yourself… I can forgive whatever absurdities you pull off I’ll support you without being noticed Even when you get nitpicked I’ll be your companion Let us now promise to live an unremarkable life hereafter What we have here is the lightning rod of love

Albedo

Falling in love with Albedo is a fairy tale-like experience for both of you. His attention had always been focused on his research, everything else fading into the background save for a few exceptions, until you came around. You, who stole all his attention by just existing. 

As an alchemist, he’s naturally the curious type. He wanted to know what about it had caught his attention, what was so special about you that had him clinging to your every word and movement every time you interacted with him. Still, human relationships are hard for him, and he figured you might go away the second he started to feel burnt out from your interactions. But you didn’t. Instead, you stayed. You stayed and took interest on what he did, asked questions, gave your insight, and dragged him to sleep when he needed a break. In exchange, he did the same for you.

Your relationship with Albedo is like one of those awkwardly sweet first time crushes. Of carefully calculated movements, dates and compliments, of soft kisses on lips, hands and cheeks, of mutual support, understanding and mature compromising and commitment.

The Kreideprinz, like everyone else, has his own fears and insecurities, especially regarding his... nature, but he does his best not to let them affect the relationship he has with you. Each moment spent by your side, even when he’s not actively doing any research, is considered perfectly spent, meaningful time.

“A long time ago, I was tasked with finding out the meaning of this world. Though I have directed my efforts and resources to looking for the answer through alchemy, ever since we met I... think, I’ve found an unexpected conclusion to said issue. While it’s likely that this is not the answer expected from me, I’m positive that, at least personally, I finally have the answer.”

Songs:

Futari Saison - Keyakizaka46

In the wind blowing through the city’s streets, even though I caught whiff of something’s scent, I had no interest in looking back

In a 1m radius around me, I formed an invisible barrier to another world And yet, you took someone like me out of it

What made you do that?

Home - SEVENTEEN

What can I do? Without you I’m just an old robot, my heart stops and it’s always cold What can we do? Without me You’ll struggle just as much, so what can we do?

Baby, I want to cherish our warmth So no one can come between us

Flower - SEVENTEEN

You taught me, you showed me You’re my only reason If you can forever remember me I can get hurt, I can get hurt

My heart that’s engraved with your light Makes me stronger Give me your sharp thorns Cause you’re my flower

Oh my! - SEVENTEEN

Sorry for repeating the same thing But this is all I can try using hard words But my true feeling is this, every everything

(...)

How about you? Is it hard for you to sleep because of me too? If you keep making my heart flutter What do I do?

Naze koi wo shite konakattan darou? - Sakurazaka46

Why hadn't I fallen in love? I've been making fun of it all this time I mean everyone keeps saying 'I love you' just like cats in heat But after falling in love I realized what people live for To meet, to love, to the point of nothing but... I'm not myself, I want to find my true self.

[gusu-emilu]

Whumptober No.2

Ship: Xue Yang / Xiao Xingchen Rating: T Wordcount: 1421 Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Choking, Whump, Angst with a Bit of Fluff, Xue Yang POV Summary: One time Xiao Xingchen healed Xue Yang, and one time he healed Chengmei.

He sinks back into the feeling of Xiao Xingchen pressed against him. Even after living with him for so long, Xue Yang still finds himself startled at the comfort the daozhang’s presence brings.

Comfort from a man who would have seen him murdered.

Seen Xue Yang murdered, that is.

The fuckers had been too cowardly to kill Xue Yang in one clean blow.

Instead, they’d left him on the ground, arms and legs bound, leashed to a tree to slowly choke. The rope binding him is thin but strong, charmed to gradually cut into the skin and to suppress spiritual power, designed to slowly kill.

But the cultivators who captured him are just from some no-name sect. The charm they cast on the rope is mediocre. Potentially breakable.

Not that Xue Yang would be able to do much with his spiritual power given how much blood he’s lost. Otherwise, even his piecemeal cultivation abilities, scraped together for survival over the years, would be strong enough to break these binds—and then rip out the spines of the cultivators who dared touch him, vertebra by vertebra.

As he squirms against his restraints, he thinks about how those bastards will turn him in to the meathead leader of the Nie Clan once he’s dead, and have a little celebration praising themselves for their righteousness.

But where’s their righteousness now, while Xue Yang chokes and bleeds out on the forest floor? Where are their clan values? Xue Yang knows they aren’t stuffy inner disciples of a major sect—just some backwoods lowlifes—but they could at least kill him cleanly and quietly with the integrity that every hypocrite clan sings about.

And if they can’t kill Xue Yang with integrity, they can at least kill him right—by getting some fun out of it.

Instead, Xue Yang’s murderers are too cowardly to look him in the eye while he dies. They’ll come back for him when he’s fully choked out.

And he might be choked out soon. The coarse rope constricts tighter around his neck each time he struggles, closing in on each breath that claws its way down to his lungs.

Tighter.

Tighter.

Tighter, until it squeezes out all thought.

Until Xue Yang’s entire world is one strip of rope cut into his skin and one shrinking column of air.

Primal fear smothers him like a rancid stench as the leash crushes his throat.

He knows struggling will only constrict the rope more. But he can’t fight the instinct to trash against his restraints, desperate for air.

He’s going to die here.

Tighter—

The rope loosens.

Xue Yang coughs and gasps for breath, folding forward as his stomach lurches. But he forces himself to look up immediately, to prepare to fight tooth and nail against this new threat—

“Who did this to you?” asks a man in flowing white robes, gleaming sword in hand. The man’s face is in shadow, only a few smooth contours rimmed by moonlight.

But it’s enough for Xue Yang to recognize him.

“Xiao Xingchen,” he hisses, voice hoarse, barely able to speak. Blood trickles out the corner of his mouth as he smirks.

“Who did this to you?” Xiao Xingchen repeats, firmer.

Xue Yang cocks an eyebrow. “What?” He coughs blood. “Not going to untie the rest of me? Or would you rather leave me to slither from now on?”

Xiao Xingchen doesn’t answer. Instead, he squats down next to Xue Yang and sends a stream of spiritual energy into him, healing him, a rush of cool sweetness like pilfered candy.

Xue Yang recoils, then jerks, trying to knock Xiao Xingchen away. But the stubborn daozhang only dodges and grabs him by the shoulder, holding him steady while forcing spiritual energy in through the battered skin on his back.

“Let go of me,” Xue Yang growls. “I don’t want your useless qi inside me.”

“You will die of blood loss without immediate healing.”

“Isn’t that what you want?”

“No,” Xiao Xingchen answers, sounding distressed. Sounding surprised that Xue Yang asked such a question.

“No?” Xue Yang echoes, throat still sore. “Liar!”

Xue Yang stops struggling and accepts the spiritual energy, using the strength from it to devote all his focus to forcing Xiao Xingchen to acknowledge his hypocrisy.

“You think you’re any better than the bastards who did this to me? What are you planning to do with me after you so graciously heal me?”

“Turn you in for your crimes.”

“And that’s justice?”

“It’s what must be done.”

“‘It’s what must be done,’“ Xue Yang mimics. “You know good and well they’ll murder me the moment you hand me over. Why bother helping now? Is it only right for me to be murdered if you decide when?”

“It is not my decision—”

With spiritual energy the daozhang so kindly gifted him, Xue Yang diverts his new qi from healing his wounds to create a blast of energy. The binds snap off. He slams his body into Xiao Xingchen, knocking him to the ground.

Every sinew in Xue Yang’s body protests movement as light-headedness overtakes him. His injuries could've used the spiritual energy he spent on escaping.

But he still manages to jump out of reach before Xiao Xingchen reacts. After all, physical weakness had never held him back.

People like Xiao Xingchen had held him back.

“Here’s a lesson for you, daozhang!” Xue Yang calls as he slips deeper into the darkness of the forest. “Unlike you, I can show mercy and spare your life. You can never be righteous by killing me now!”

* * *

“Chengmei,” Xiao Xingchen croons fondly in his ear. “You can’t keep doing this.”

"Can't keep what? Being irresistible? You're the one deciding to touch me."

"I'm not—" Xiao Xingchen huffs and lifts his hand from Xue Yang's back, still so easy to fluster. "You know what I mean."

Xue Yang shakes his head, a crooked smile playing on his lips. Xiao Xingchen is treating an injury he'd gotten by falling and gouging a wound in his back while changing the roofing.

“The Coffin House needs renovations,” Xue Yang says. “Unless you manage to anger a spirit who gets revenge by a feng shui makeover of the nearest building, you’re going to have to rely on me to fix things around here.”

Xiao Xingchen chuckles and leans forward, wrapping himself around Xue Yang from behind, chin resting on his bare shoulder. With one hand he rubs soothing circles of spiritual energy into Xue Yang’s back.

Xue Yang soaks in the pleasant sensation. Absorbs the warmth from Xiao Xingchen’s body and the way the heat intertwines with the coolness of spiritual energy. Relaxes into the satisfaction of the daozhang healing him.

Then, like blood splattered on white stone, the long-buried memory of Xiao Xingchen’s hand pressed against his back rushes back into his mind. Drowns him in that unbearable moment of vulnerability that he’s tried so hard to forget—the feeling of being on the brink of death, his life in his enemy’s hands, healed by someone who only intends to kill him again.

The unbearable vulnerability still eats at Xue Yang, making him restless with the memory flaring up in his mind. Instinctively, he draws as much air into his lungs as he can, just to reassure himself that he still can.

He sinks back into the feeling of Xiao Xingchen pressed against him. Even after living with him for so long, Xue Yang still finds himself startled at the comfort the daozhang’s presence brings.

Comfort from a man who would have seen him murdered.

Seen Xue Yang murdered, that is.

The daozhang has already found Chengmei on the brink of death, and never once tried to harm him. Instead, he healed Chengmei and has asked for nothing in return but stories and companionship. And the occasional stint babysitting A-Qing or buying groceries.

Xue Yang tells himself that makes Xiao Xingchen more of a hypocrite than ever—that Chengmei gets everything for free but Xue Yang doesn’t—but somehow can’t fully convince himself.

“You can’t keep injuring yourself while working,��� Xiao Xingchen says, “You even aggravated your old leg injury last time you—”

“I’m fine, daozhang. I think you’re inventing these injuries so you can steal me from my work and make me take my shirt off.”

Xiao Xingchen laughs again, a soft, comforting rumble against Xue Yang’s back, and slips an arm around Xue Yang. Xue Yang leans back, melting into the daozhang’s embrace.

Xiao Xingchen may think it’s right for Xue Yang to die for his crimes. But surely he would never think it’s right to kill Chengmei.

Chengmei can receive the daozhang’s spiritual energy with no cost, no conditions, no consequences except the attention of a stupid, gullible, beautiful man.

Chengmei will only die if Xue Yang kills him himself.

 * * *

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this fic, come visit me on AO3!

[tomorrowsdrama]

So the costumes in rebel princess are obviously beautiful and incredibly detailed.  But I love that the costuming also informs us about a character’s social standing and for some characters, their state of mind as well.  Or in Song Huaien’s case, how far into the dark side he’s gone.  He’s really the inspiration for this post.  As I was re-watching some of the early episodes while waiting for the new subs (shhh, I know I’m unhealthily obsessed with this drama), I noticed not only how drastically his costuming/hair has changed, but also that he’s pretty much a mirror of whoever he chooses to follow at the moment.  Cheng’s very own Single White Female without the obsessive craziness, if you will.  Delusional?  Sure.  But not quite crazy.

But first, let’s talk about the clothing of the noble class.  I’m sorry for this thesis that I’m going to inflict on everyone that no one asked for.  I’ve joked about the long trains on Awu/the nobles’ clothing before, but it’s clear that they are a sign of high status and wealth.  The higher ranked/wealthier you are, the longer your train is it seems.  Also, just in general, the nobles’ outfits usually include an abundance/overflowing of luxe silky and billowy material.  See:

And the nobles can afford to have such styles of clothing not just monetarily, but also lifestyle wise.  To put it bluntly, the nobles don’t have to do shit in their lives so they can afford to drag long trains of expensive fabric back and forth in their huge manors/the palace.  These clothes aren’t for functionality, but for beauty/showing off your wealth (whether intentionally or not).  If they need to go anywhere, they have comfy carriages to travel in instead of walking long distances.  If they need something?  That’s what servants are for.  I mean, just imagine how cumbersome it is to move around with such huge billowy sleeves and six feet of cloth dragging behind your ass.  You don’t have to imagine, just look at this scene where Daddy Wang visits Prime Minister Wen in prison (oh, how I regret taking this time for granted and condemning Daddy Wang for imprisoning that old fool):

Look at how his train drags over the threshold of the prison door.  Daddy Wang literally has to lift his train and throw it over a bench in order to sit down.  

The higher your status, the less physical activity you have to partake in a.k.a. the more useless you are, so it should come as no surprise that the longest train I’ve seen so far in the drama belongs to none other than our Useless Mopey Teenager Zitan:

The clothing choices are pretty deliberate, because whenever a character needs to do something more than just sit around enjoying tea (or wine if you’re Awu), they are given clothes that are more practical for moving around. Like the outfit Awu wore when she chased after her dad:

It’s much shorter than her usual garb and she’s wearing simple black pants underneath which makes horse riding and chasing after a traitorous father much more manageable.

What’s interesting is seeing the opposite happen with Hu Yao.  Hu Yao is usually in very practical and simple clothing since unlike the rest of the nobles in the capital, she has to fight against invaders and protect Cheng.  But when she goes to meet our Emo Emperor Zitan, of course she has to be dressed up in a big frou frou dress that makes it hard to walk:

It highlights just how impractical this type of extravagant clothing is for any kind of life other than a noble’s.  Hu Yao can barely walk without tripping over her own dress, let alone fight.  Also what the hell is that giant bow?

Now let’s talk about Daddy Wang’s clothes.  So before he gets exiled for attempting a coup, Daddy Wang was arguably the most powerful man in court.  He was the head of the Wangs, the most influential noble family in Cheng.  The past 10 empresses of the empire were daughters of the Wang clan, and his sister, the current empress, listened to whatever he said (for the most part).  Also his nephew wass the crown prince and easily manipulated.  He’s also wealthy AF so his status and wealth was apparent in his clothing.

Look at the sheen on that fabric and all that intricate embroidery work!  But then of course, he gets exiled and understandably has to put on some more humble clothing:

Simple, unembellished clothing made of coarse fabric that can withstand moving through the fields and rough terrain while you covertly make your way towards your disappointment of a son.  What really sticks out to me though, is his wardrobe choice after he reunites with the turnip.  Instead of going back to the lavish and ornate clothing he used to wear, he opts for an understated gray and black outfit with no long train in sight:

Turnip obviously can afford to put his dad in fancier clothing.  I mean look at the gaudy over-embroidered monstrosity that he’s wearing.  But it makes sense that Daddy Wang has now opted for something a bit more subdued and modest.  He’s been defeated once and is no longer the powerful prime minister he used to be.  Also, the Wangs do not hold as much clout as they used to because 1) empress has gone mad; 2) potato emperor is dead; and 3) the official head of the Wangs is now...Turnip.  

But make no mistake, his clothes may be simpler than before, but they’re still made out of very nice materials. He is after all, still Daddy Wang.  And Wang will rise again if he can help it! 

Next we have the seagull.  Ugh, yuck, gross, I hate her.  Anyway, now that I’ve gotten the bad taste out of my mouth...So for the majority of the drama we see her in light pastel colored clothing with little to no make up as if to imply that she’s a sweet, innocent thing:

She’s also usually pretty covered up.  But then she becomes Concubine Su (ugh) and all of a sudden she’s in bold colors, wearing red lipstick, and most noticeably, gotten very breast-y

Man, did Seagull make a wrong turn and accidentally stumble onto the set of The Empress of China?  She’s definitely got the tackiness to fit in with them.  This drastic shift in styling is clearly to signal to the audience that Seagull is now a seductress ready to do whatever it takes to hold onto that magical flute and never let go.  Also, whereas before she was a snake hiding in the grass, now it’s all out in the open (at least to the Wangs) just like her bosom.

Look, she even gets her own long train to reflect just how useless she is.

And finally, we have Song Huaien, Cheng’s very own Single White Female who molds himself to whoever he happens to follow and takes on their personality and principals (or lack thereof).

In the beginning, he is stuck to Xiao Qi’s side like a shadow, dresses similar to him, and even wears his hair like him.  He’s like the kid brother who copies everything his cooler older brother does because he looks up to him. 

Notably, he’s the only one in the Ningshuo crew who wears his hair down with a half bun, just like Xiao Qi.  Hu Guanglie (RIP best bro) is XQ’s oldest friend and literally devoted his life to him, but he’s also his own man and did not need to copy XQ.  He never wanted to be him, he only wanted to serve him. 

If you didn’t pay attention, you wouldn’t be able to tell who’s who.

When you follow a brave, honorable general who’s sex on legs, you too will be a brave, honorable and sexy general.  Song Huaien never looked better than when he tried to emulate Xiao Qi.

Interestingly, when Song Huaien goes off with Awu and starts to fall for her, he also starts to incorporate some color into his previously all-black wardrobe.  I guess spring arrived in his heart even though it was the cold winter:

Hm, now I’m starting to wonder if a part of his crush on Awu wasn’t influenced by his desire to be like XQ a little bit.  And then, sigh, he starts to get tempted by the riches of the capital city and the internal shift in his character is materialized externally through how he wears his hair in his first appearance in court:

This is the first time we’ve seen him wear his hair in any style other than the usual loose half bun.  And of course, his top knot conforms and fits in with how the rest of the ministers wear their hair.  Now contrast that with Xiao Qi who only wore his hair in a top knot once:

and then promptly went back to his usual hair style:

Sure, he looked good with the top knot (when does he never look good), but it wasn’t him.  Unlike Song Huaien, XQ is secure in himself and knows who he is.  He is not easily swayed or corrupted.  That is why he is able to remain just like how he always has been, internally and externally.

The next change we see in Song’s appearance is his armor.  Now that he is Count Suyi, his armor is noticeably more ornate.  Unlike XQ’s armor, which remains pretty much the same barebones armor we’ve seen since the beginning, Song’s gets fancier and fancier as he gets more lured in by the nicer things in life.

At this point, his hair is still down like before.  But then the next time we see him after his wedding, his hair style is changed into a high ponytail:

Which is a very good look, don’t get me wrong, but it is again another physical representation of the change happening in Song internally.  It’s kind of a weird limbo he’s in because it’s not completely a top knot, but it’s definitely neater and closer to a top knot than his previous hairstyle.  At this stage, Song hasn’t completely crossed over to the dark side quite yet.  He’s still kind of wavering and going back and forth.  So a high ponytail that is a shift from his prior hairstyle but not quite the same as the nobles’ hairstyle makes sense.  He keeps this look for a while and even momentarily goes back to his less fancy self while dealing with the floods away from the capital.  That is, until he joins hands (or is it roots?) with Turnip and it’s all downhill from there, character-wise and also appearance-wise.

First, we have this very ill-advised mustache and goatee which mimics the same facial hair Turnip all of sudden started sporting:

Matching facial hair to commemorate their entry onto the shit list, perhaps?  Anyway, turns out facial hair isn’t for everyone, including Song Huaien.  But this isn’t even the worst of it.  As Song Huaien continues his descent into being a greedy, spineless, puppet for Turnip (HIM of all people! or should I say, of all root vegetables?), he gets uglier and uglier.  I mean:

He looks downright haggard and as if he aged 20 years overnight.  Notably though, he looks exactly like the rest of the useless ministers in court.  He has definitely lost the sheen, vigor, and hotness that he once had when he was following XQ.  It’s as if the ugly inside is reflected on the outside as well.

I guess when you follow a weaselly coward like Turnip, you too will turn into a weaselly coward.  Oh Song Huaien, Song Huaien.  What a disappointment you turned out to be, you dumb, greedy bastard.   

[cybernaght]

Guardian rewatch: episode 7

The world’s most amicable mugging continues in this episode, as Shen Wei waits for Zhao Yunlan to spring into his defence as his personal knight in shining armour. Or, as the official subtitle of the episode states:

I kid you not. Here’s the original with the alternate translation.

I am once more very much not mad at it. 

I say that Shen Wei’s mugging is amicable, but that is of course is before one of the “gangsters” tries to grab at his Pendant of Pining. “It’s not something that you people can touch”, he states, easily restraining the man’s wrist. He’s not losing his composure just yet, but his warrior’s stance is showing, and he comes pretty close to breaking cover.

Thankfully, this is when Zhao Yunlan shows up to intervene. Hearing him approach, Shen Wei’s first priority is hiding the Pendant of Pining. His second priority is straightening his collar and tightening his tie. Shen Wei may be in a middle of an attempted mugging, but he’d be damned if he allows Zhao Yunlan to see him dishevelled. Come to think of it, it’s kind of hilarious that Shen Wei’s attempt at pretending to be a poor helpless human includes being completely nonplussed by being attacked. Surely freaking out a little would be an infinitely less suspicious choice. 

Yunlan politely but firmly pushes the professor aside, and Shen Wei waits patiently next to the wall, neatly folding his hands the same way he did at the unpleasant councillor meeting in the previous episode. 

Here we finally see that Zhao Yunlan is pretty impressive in hand to hand combat. This man may not have a sword, but he can easily knock two dudes out with three moves. Again, this is a very short, but pretty damn flawless little piece of choreography. Zhao Yunlan’s fighting prowess is even more accentuated with a gleeful adrenaline-filled grin he breaks into after he’s done. I understand Shen Wei’s endless desire to protect the man he’s devoted to, but, honestly, it’s nice to see Zhao Yunlan not really needing protection - not against simple street crime at least. 

Shen Wei proceeds to calmly dust off his discarded briefcase. Zhao Yunlan proceeds to retrieve the other man’s watch from the ground and then passes it on. With physical contact. Should I be obsessing over how their fingers linger together for a second? Maybe not. I am doing it anyway. 

“What a coincidence”, deadpans Shen Wei, who knows for the fact that the other man is tailing him, and causes a delightful burst of faux outrage in response. 

“What are you implying?”, Zhao Yunlan asks innocently, deflecting further by inquiring whether Shen Wei thinks he staged this little rescue mission. He follows it with “Only you’re allowed to be here this time of night?”, which I choose to read as, “Really, Shen Wei. Why do you think you should have a monopoly on stalking in this relationship?”

As the two are distracted by the low key flirting, one of the muggers makes an opportunity attack on Zhao Yunlan. Shen Wei is alarming Yunlan to this with genuine worry, but does not lose his composure enough to intervene.  

We are treated to another excellent three moves, which are block-break-backfist. Well mixed sound helps, but Bai Yu does look very good as well. The footage does not appear sped up at all, but his movements are fast and crisp, he’s engaging his whole body, everything lands well angle-wise, it’s appropriately safe... Again, I cannot fault this at all. Bai Yu is not physically strong, and this just goes to show that you don’t need a lot of muscle to look like you can be an effective fighter. I don’t want to go into long detail on western media’s obsession with unrealistic physical standards in action media, but suffice it to say that it’s an unhealthy and pointless aesthetic choice which has nothing to do with reality of combat performance - as this scene clearly illustrates. (Look. As I said, stage violence is one of my jobs, and I’m a curvy woman who spends a lot of her time with insecure young actors and drama students. I have opinions.)

Having fended off the attack, Zhao Yunlan exaggerates the situation with the proverb “talking too much will get you killed.” Shen Wei is obviously distressed over his choice of words, but he looks down to hide it. 

At this point the two decide to go home instead of getting the street criminals off the street. 

Zhao Yunlan follows Shen Wei into his flat, pretending very loudly that he has not seen this place before. He is trying way too hard. And there is a touch of a naughtily feline glimmer in his eyes, because he is probably still on that adrenaline rush: his heart would be pounding, senses elevated, brain basking in a pleasant sharpness akin to a sugar rush, when everything is a little bit too saturated. And an attractive mysterious man he just saved is asking him to stay. Zhao Yunlan’s going to have even less brain to mouth filter here than he usually does. 

Shen Wei is getting a first aid to kit to treat Zhao Yunlan’s injuries. It’s anyone’s guess why the self-healing Envoy needs a first aid kit at all - it lives in a Tupperware box as well, suggesting that it’s been assembled and organised by hand rather than store bought. 

Sitting down, and tucking his tie in (because neatness is everything), Shen Wei prepares to administer a mysterious ointment to Zhao Yunlan’s bruise, and states that this is him giving Chief Zhao an opportunity for interrogation. I bet he has got a lie prepared for any question, because this situation has definitely been pre-planned. 

Instead of probing the other man, Zhao Yunlan offers him a job. Shen Wei’s answer is a firm no, which he utters without even a second hesitation. To Zhao Yunlan, this clearly reads as a rejection, as his face crumbles. 

He livens up however, when Shen Wei hurries to add that this is not a denial of help or cooperation. Zhao Yunlan is right to ask why he would take the job then case; this is an entirely reasonable question. I’m guessing, Shen Wei’s reluctance comes from his unwillingness to compromise Hei Pao Shi’s position, rather than an attempt to prevent Zhao Yunlan from getting involved in the cosmic shitstorm which is currently brewing: as the Lord Guardian, he’s gonna get right in the middle of said storm either way. 

“You just move in and didn’t invite your neighbour over for some fun?”, Zhao Yunlan asks.

Laying it on really thick, I see. 

Shen Wei blinks disbelievingly, as if to say “did he just…?” then recovers enough to huff out a laugh.

“My mistake. Next time, I’ll properly invite you.”

Zhao Yunlan snaps his fingers in delight, visibly vibrating with joy. In his head this is Yunlan - 1: Xiao Wei - 0. 

As Shen Wei starts to apply the mysterious ointment, Zhao Yunlan flinches, and Shen Wei is genuinely taken aback by an idea that he might hurt this man. He is so preciously startled for a second, shedding ten thousand years in an instant. I am never going to not be impressed by Zhu Yilong’s ability to switch into Baby Shen Wei mode in a matter of seconds. 

“I didn’t expect you to have such skilful hands.”

Zhao Yunlan’s charm attack truly is unrelenting, and Shen Wei looks up with such a fragile hope in his eyes. He has lived a long time now, and he has learned to maintain thick walls around himself, but he is still incredibly affected by Kunlun’s shameless flirting. 

Continuing his charm offensive, Zhao Yunlan gets so distracted by trying to further impress Shen Wei, he unwittingly reveals that he knows the layout of this flat. And realises what he said. And hopes that the other man had not noticed, adorably brushing his nose in embarrassment. 

He dug this one out for himself, and Shen Wei is far from mortified: he is pleased to have caught the other man out. Zhao Yunlan flails, and Shen Wei quite literally is failing to wipe a smug smile off his own face. 

He’s not even really waiting for an explanation. He’s just happy to win this round. There is even a little “yeah sure let’s pretend I believe you” tilt of the eyebrow, when Yunlan finally comes up with something that sounds as a reasonable excuse. 

After his massive blunder, Zhao Yunlan tries to leave again. Shen Wei stops him, again, and there is no limit to how slyly Zhao Yunlan turns around, followed by a hind of disappointment when all he gets is an ointment, and not, you know, an opportunity to have a good look around Shen Wei’s bedroom. 

Shen Wei is left alone in his flat in a state of utter emotional overload, stroking the Pendant under his shirt. 

Let’s disregard for a second the fluctuating length of the chord the Pendant hangs on (is it between his collar bones or in front of his breastbone? Pick one!), and just appreciate the pining. Shen Wei is going through a lot of feelings since his Kunlun’s returned into his life, and sometimes computing is not an option. 

In the next scene, the muggers are discussing Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan, calling them both too formidable to even attempt an act of revenge against them. Definitely a wise idea. Unfortunately for them, they immediately get attacked by… something.

Spoiler alert: no, it’s not a bear.

It’s the White Shirt Day at the SID. Chu Shuzhi is the only one not participating. In this scene, we discover that Lin Jing likes a horror web novelist called Lai Su - which will be very convenient for the case at hand. During their conversation, Wang Zheng alerts he team to the new case, asking for the whereabouts of their boss. Zhu Hong’s reply is that who knows which old pal the man is hang out with. As we never see him having any friends outside of his job, I choose to believe that he is probably hanging out with Shen Wei; quite possibly exploring the layout of his bedroom. Especially considering how good his mood is as he strolls into the office announcing that he is going to buy a feast for everyone.

Unfortunately, the feast has to wait. Zhao Yunlan, Chu Shuzhi and Xiao Guo head towards the crime scene, which is the very same alley the mugging took place the night before. 

“Based on my experience, he died from freezing.” 

There has never been a more apt reason to use the phrase “no shit Sherlock”. 

Apparently, there is a cctv camera trained right on this very particular dark alley. Which implies that the muggers were even less professional than they appeared to be at the beginning of the episode. Mysteriously, the footage fails to show the actual monster who attacked the poor unfortunate street criminals. It did, on the other hand, capture Zhao Yunlan’s dashing rescue of Professor Shen.

Zhao Yunlan can’t exactly stop his team from rewinding the footage, so he is just left squirming as those around him gape at him spending time with Shen Wei in the middle of the night. 

“You... and Shen Wei? This late at night?”

Chu Shuzhi’s transition from disbelief to a knowing “ah” via a mischievous smirk is particularly amusing. 

The following afternoon, Zhu Hong appears in Shen Wei’s office, laptop in hand. She is quietly furious at being given this task; as I imagine it is very awkward indeed to be a laptop carrier for your crush’s crush. The entire scene she will be alternating between glaring, rolling her eyes, pursing her lips, and glaring with even more venom. 

After Shen Wei gets over his initial bafflement at technology, he realises that Zhao Yunlan is video calling him in order to ask for his expertise on the current case. For the most of this scene the call looks like some sort of fake generic video conference software, apart from some shots on the SID side which very obviously show a pre-recorded footage being played: with a pause button, and a time stamp, and everything.

Shen Wei is in full trolling mode when he educates the SID team on all the types of bears that could have attacked the victim. He tasted this feeling of outsmarting Yunlan the night before and it’s too sweet to let go. Judging by the fact that Da Qing, who is by Zhao Yunlan’s side, is falling asleep during this conversation, we can guess that it’s been going on for a while. 

Zhao Yunlan knows that Shen Wei is trying to prove a point here - he will not be bullied into being a consultant. So, Zhao Yunlan changes tactics, and asks Shen Wei for clues as a friend. Shen Wei assures Zhao Yunlan in turn that he would never hide anything important from. The magnitude of this particular lie is immeasurable, unless Shen Wei considers turning himself into a literal suicide bomb inconsequential. Which, to be fair, he might do. 

Finally, Da Qing wakes up and suggests that the suspect is a Youchu (translated in subs a “secluded beast”). He is not correct, but it is important that we know what those are, because we’ll see them in a couple of episodes - so it actually makes sense to write them in here. 

Shen Wei instantly comes forward, fishes a relevant file out of his drawer, and educates the team on that particular monster. Zhao Yunlan relates that he is familiar with those, and that he knows Hei Pao Shi fought them before in nearby cities. 

Existence of aforementioned nearby cities will remain a beautiful enigma, which will never be explained. Seastar will remain very much a Little Prince-sized planet. 

At this point Zhao Yunlan gets a call about the other mugger being found, and Shen Wei tells him in a rush that he does not think those two men possess Undergrounder qualities. 

When asked however what those qualities are, he does not elaborate, and, after a thick silence, Zhao Yunlan sighs in resignation and finally lets Shen Wei off the hook, assuring him that he knows not all Undergrounders are monsters. He knows - of course he knows - that Shen Wei is hiding stuff. He knows the other man is somehow invested in the Undergounders, and is probably is one himself.  Once again he chooses to trust him absolutely. I know it feels like I say those words every single episode, but this is also the choice Zhao Yunlan makes, deliberately, every single episode. This conversation will leave Zhao Yunlan very cranky for the remainder for the case, but his willingness to keep giving Shen Wei concessions is actually really sweet. 

Shen Wei asks, perhaps, impulsively, that Yunlan shares his findings with him, because he is curious who the culprit is. It makes, as ever, little sense for him to do so considering that he would find it out anyway as Hei Pao Shi.

After completing her mission, Zhu Hong leaves in a huff. She did not say hello and she does not say goodbye either. Shen Wei tries to wave amicably, but aborts the gesture.

He does not yet know - and will not find out for quite some time - why Zhu Hong feels so antagonistic towards him. 

Next stop: the hospital ward with a now insane criminal. Portrayal of mental health issues on this show is... interesting, by which I mean terribly stigmatising. I would have understood if this was a magic-induced psychosis, but I don’t think that’s the case at all. 

Lin Jing realises that the case sounds very much like the web horror novel he likes. It sounds insane, but Yunlan hears him out. The scientist goes into great detail over the author, revealing that he was a leader of his fan club at some point, and detailing several murders from his recent novel that appeared to have have happened in reality.

The team moves on to scout the author’s - Lai Su’s - house, with Zhao Yunlan being the one to approach it. He then proceeds to summon his team via a non-existent radio. 

Look. There is no mouth piece on this jacket. There is no earpiece in his ear. There are no wires. None of the team have radios. None of them even look like they are listening to radios. (Trust me, the “please shut up for a second, someone is speaking into my ear” is a recognisable look). Guardian’s writers/directors. Mah dudes. If you can’t afford radios, just make him do a non-verbal signal, seriously. Same effect, with much less silliness, and no continuity issues. 

Before the team enters the house, we see Ya Qing in crow form for the first time. Even without the benefit of hindsight, it’s easy to recognise that the crow will become narratively significant because she is animated, and this show would not waste its very scarce and rapidly depleting CGI budget in vein. 

We also know that the crow is a Yashou because Lin Jing starts talking about Zhu Hong at that exactly moment. Guardian is many wonderful things - it’s dramatic, breathtaking, heart-wrenching, and poignant - but subtle it is not.

Inside the house, they discover a secret room, which Lai Su is hiding in, and we finally get to meet our unfortunate culprit. 

It is very peculiar how mean-spirited this episode seems to be. The web novelist in question is shown in an unequivocally negative light. He is a coward hiding behind a blanket, a weirdo living in a secret room, a glutton stuffing his face with snacks and drinking wine. He is shown as too vain to stop chasing clout even when he suspects that his novel is leading to people dying. He writes for attention and money rather than out of genuine artistic expression. He is a whimpering mess, begging Lin Jing on his knees to speak to the Chief on his behalf. Even if we consider that moral of the story (as stated later in Guo Changcheng’s diary note) is “internet bad”, this insistence of making Lai Su so unmistakably despicable is baffling. The series is based on the web novel. What kind of message is this sending about its origins?  

On the bright side, I suppose it is nice that part of this episode not revolving around Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei’s relationship is actually rather Lin Jing-centric. So far, he was mostly there for occasional tech support and countless shots of him of screaming at a computer, but here we get to know more about him, and he goes on a little emotional journey of his own - meeting his idol and being distraught by the author not living up to expectations. It is always so disappointing to see creators you admire being imperfect, or downright unpleasant, and it’s easy to sympathise with Lin Jing’s discontent. 

Zhao Yunlan’s modus operandi has always been intuition. Looking at the author, he knows that he must be responsible for the murders, and also knows that he could not possibly have been. For once it is actually Xiao Guo who suggests the solution: multiple personality disorder. Or, magical multiple personality disorder, as it is the case. We see this click with the Chief, and he genuinely praises the young man. 

Back at the house, Lai Su is deciding to stop the murder spree by writing the demise of the homicidal protagonist of his novel. This is his ultimate redemption, which also leads to his untimely death by the hands of the monster who lives within him and is manifested through his writing. 

The team asks Zhao Yunlan what was going on with this strange case. They won’t get an explanation; but Shen Wei will. 

Zhao Yunlan, as promised, drops by Shen Wei’s office late at night to tell him all about the case. He concludes that Lai Su must have had Undergrounder blood in him, with his power not manifesting until now. Zhao Yunlan sounds rather remorseful as he stipulates that the writer could have lived a long happy life despite his origin and abilities, had he not started unknowingly abusing his powers. This Zhao Yunlan is miles removed from the man who vowed to catch every Undergrounder, and we can see Shen Wei infinitely moved by this man’s empathy. 

This, I think, is the very moment Shen Wei starts to fall in love - not with the man who was Kunlun, or the man who will be Kunlun, or the man who resembles Kunlun - with Zhao Yunlan, Lord Guardian, Chief of Special Investigations Department, with all his incessant flirting, and sharp edges, and pointed questions, and endless understanding. 

In the final moments of this episode Zhao Yunlan shares a dark premonition that something truly terrible will happen in their city. 

He has no idea how right he is. 

Next up: Episode 8: The Morning Porridge 

——

This conversation happened with my partner as I was working on this recap:

Me: … I am two scenes in and this is how much I’ve typed up already. 

My partner: Honey! I know you’re Russian, but War and Peace has already been written. 

[sneezehq]

Revenge is Too Sweet

Tyrian Callows still hasn't forgotten who was responsible for the loss of his tail.

And just because he's been ordered not to kill Ruby Rose doesn't mean that he can't make her suffer. And oh, he can make her suffer.

Standing behind the counter of a tiny coffee stand in an apron and serving up espressos, Tyrian smirks to himself. It’s almost too easy.

Tracking down which area of Mantle the little silver-eyed brat would be doing missions in was child’s play, given that they’d been monitoring her and her little friends’ movements since the moment they had arrived in Atlas. Taking the place of the hapless barista that usually worked here was laughably easy. Poor man had bled out quietly in a back alley from a slit throat. And tempting two young huntresses over for a hot drink on a chilly Mantle morning? Piece of cake.

They rattle off their drink orders with annoyingly bright smiles and gratingly cheerful voices, and Tyrian has to repress an eye roll at the vile concoction that the dark-haired menace prefers. Of course the little monster would enjoy such an abomination of cream and sugar disguised as coffee. But he dutifully shoves down his irritation and jots down their orders, assuring them that everything will be ready soon. Tyrian has had a lot of practice ignoring annoying little girls thanks to a certain fall maiden and her bratty follower.

The two brats chatter idly while he mixes their drinks, gossiping about training and friends and spending time with their sisters. It’s all useless drivel, of course, but he keeps one ear open in case they happen to mention something useful. Little red is clueless as always. He doubts that she’d recognize him even if she got a good look at his face. Fortunately, the bitter chill of morning gives him the perfect excuse for a disguise. With his hat pulled down low over his eyes and a scarf wrapped around his mouth, he doubts that the girls would remember him standing out among the citizens of Mantle.

Yes, Tyrian Callows was a very fortunate man, in so many ways. As he should be, as a loyal servant of their divine savior. And he was here to rectify one of the few misfortunes that had befallen him.

Well, partially at least. Unlike some of his less devoted colleagues, Tyrian would never dream of disobeying an order, even if it was one as nonsensical as taking Ruby Rose alive. But just because he’s not allowed to kill the little girl doesn’t mean that he can’t hurt her. And oh, can he hurt her.

Pouring the now-finished drinks into the paper to-go cups, Tyrian fishes a tiny vial of his “secret ingredient” and adds it to the cup with Ruby Rose written on the side. The blasphemous amounts of cream and sugar would easily hide the bitter taste. Tyrian considers himself to be a bit of an expert on poisons, practically a natural at the subject since birth, so it was easy to pick out a blend that would make her suffer greatly, but would not kill her. Probably. Poisons are a bit like people, unpredictable in the way they interact with others. It’s tempting to dump a larger amount in the second drink, but as tempting as killing the little Schnee brat sounds, it’s not worth the risk. Both girls getting sick would be far too suspicious.

“Here’s your coffees, girls!” he calls cheerfully, handing out the cups. “My apologies for the wait. I hope that you enjoy your drinks!”

They fall all over themselves to assure him that it’s no trouble, they weren’t waiting long, before eagerly taking sips of their drinks and assuring him that they’re delicious. He smirks to himself. Too easy.

Ruby Rose gives him a friendly wave and a smile. Horrible child. “I hope that you have a good day, sir! Take care!”

“And you as well, miss!” I hope you enjoy your coffee, bitch.

“I’m so glad we could do this today,” Weiss says with a smile.

“Me too! Nothing like a successful mission and some delicious coffee first thing in the morning.” Ruby slurps her drink, feeling strangely jittery. Oh well, it was probably the caffeine. She always felt a little weird when they forgot to give her decaf.

“If you can call helping street vendors set up their wares a proper mission,” Weiss replies.

“Whatever you say, Ice Queen.” Ruby teases her partner, before checking the time on her scroll. Her cheeky grin turns into a frown. “How is it already 11:30?”

“Oh, you should hurry back so you’re not late meeting up with your sister!” Weiss exclaims. “I can check in at the mission boards for both of us.”

“Great, thanks Weiss! For both the coffee and for this.” She gives her partner a quick hug, before dashing off in a cloud of rose petals. “Catch you later!”

“It was my treat!” Weiss calls after her, blushing a little at Ruby’s enthusiasm. “And you forgot your coffee, you dolt!”

Ruby skids to a halt in front of the entrance to the Atlas Academy training room right at 11:59, narrowly avoiding a collision with her sister.

Yang steadies her with an easy grin. “Right on time, sis.”

“I know, I know, it’s hilarious how my semblance is speed and yet I’m always running late.”

“Hey, you said it, not me,” Yang smacks her shoulder playfully. “You ready to get your butt kicked?”

“Bring it on!” Ruby shrieks playfully, ignoring the growing ache in her stomach. She’s probably just hungry. It is lunchtime. “I’m just surprised that you want to train when you’d usually be eating lunch.”

“Lunchtime is the best time to work out, little sis. The training rooms will be empty, and plus food tastes way better when you’re worked up a sweat first.” Yang strikes a dramatic pose.

Ruby pretends to stare at her in awe. “Ah yes, the famous Yang Xiao Long wisdom.”

“Remind me to beat up the person who taught you how to use sarcasm.”

“You want me to remind you to beat yourself up?”

“Anyway! Enough stalling.” Yang grabs Ruby in a headlock. “Time to show me what you got!”

There’s something wonderfully soothing about sparring with Yang. Like coming home after a long day and taking a hot bath, except with a lot more bruises. They’ve been each other’s sparring partners for as long as Ruby can remember. It’s hard to believe that they haven’t fought since before the battle at Haven.

“It’s been too long since we’ve done this,” Ruby says, panting and resisting the urge to just flop down in the middle of the training floor. Yang always knows how to push her to her limits, and she in turn hasn’t been holding back. She can’t remember the last time she used her semblance this much.

“Agreed.” Yang smiles back at her. She’s breathing hard as well, her blonde hair a tangled, sweaty mess. “One more round before we hit the showers?”

“Sure,” Ruby agrees, although her chest is starting to ache, and she can’t quite seem to catch her breath. She allows Yang to haul her to her feet with one hand. “But after this, I’m totally napping until dinner time.”

Straining to use her semblance to its full extent, Ruby has a massive speed advantage over Yang, and actually manages to land a couple of hits early in the fight. Unfortunately, her sister is all too familiar with this tactic and simply waits for Ruby to wear herself out a bit before landing a couple of hits with her charged-up semblance. She pins Ruby and counts to five before releasing her.

“Not bad, little sis,” Yang says, brushing her hair out of her eyes. “You’re still a bit predictable, but you definitely hit a lot harder!” She turns away to pull her shirt back on. “Did I ever tell how awesome you are for punching Mercury in the face? It was definitely one of my proudest big sister moments.”

“All in a day’s work,” Ruby says proudly. She stands up slowly, feeling the pull in every one of her aching muscles. “And he deserved it, after what he did to you.”

“That’s my little sis. Now come on, I hear the showers calling our names.”

“Hey, Ruby, you asleep in there or what?” Yang calls out, banging on the door to the shower stall. She’s already showered, dressed, and ready to devour some lunch. “There’s this place that Marrow told me about that’s got some dishes from Vacuo that I need to try. Ruby?” There’s the sound of the shower running, but no response from her little sister. A knot tightens in the pit of her stomach. “Okay, you’d better not be messing with me. I’m coming in.” She shoves the door open, surprised to find it unlocked. “Ruby?”

Whatever she was expecting to find, it certainly wasn’t her little sister, still fully clothed, collapsed on the floor with blood trickling from her mouth forming a dark puddle. “Oh my gosh, Ruby!”

One minute, Ruby is sore and tired and struggling to catch her breath, but otherwise okay—and the next she’s trying not to collapse in agony, coughing up blood and gasping for air. She loses track of time, sprawled on the floor and clutching at her chest. The metallic tang of blood in her mouth is nauseating.

The next thing she knows, Yang is tapping her face and calling her name in increasingly frantic tones. “Ruby, please wake up!” She blinks her eyes open and gazes blurrily up at her older sister. Yang is here. Everything is going to be okay.

“Ruby, what happened?” Ruby manages to twitch her shoulders towards her ears in a pathetic attempt at a shrug. “Okay, well, stay calm. I’m going to go run for help.”

Fear seizes her at the thought of being left alone like this, and she manages to feebly grab Yang by the wrist. “Don’ go,” she slurs out. Talking triggers another round of coughing, and her sister helps her sit up as she struggles to breathe. Blood trickles down her chin and onto Yang’s clean clothes, but her sister doesn’t seem to notice.

“Okay, not going anywhere,” she soothes, running a hand up and down Ruby’s back as the coughs subside. “I’ll call someone for help.” Ruby can barely hear her over the roaring in her ears, but the tone sounds reassuring.

Despite the steam in the air from the shower, the bathroom suddenly feels freezing. Ruby shivers violently, instinctively pressing closer to her sister. She seems to have finished her call, only glancing occasionally at her scroll and running her fingers through Ruby’s hair in a soothing gesture. “I called Ironwood, and he’s got a medical team on the way. You’re going to be okay.” She pulls Ruby closer when she notices her shivering. “Oh Ruby, you’re burning up.”

“’m cold,” she mumbles, closing her eyes. Yang pinches her cheek until she cracks them open again and glares feebly.

“I know you’re tired and feel like crap, but I need you to stay awake until the medics look you over. It’ll only be a few minutes.”

It feels like hours, but eventually the medical team is at the door. Ruby shuts her eyes as they poke and prod at her and spit rapid-fire questions at Yang.

Eventually all of the voices fade out and Ruby drifts off into warm darkness.

When she wakes up, Ruby finds herself in a hospital bed in what looks a private hospital wing. Sitting up, she feels the tug of an IV in her right wrist. Her body still aches all over, but the tightness in her chest is gone and she can breathe easily again.

Casting her gaze to the right, she spies her sister, Blake, and Weiss all slumped over in their respective uncomfortable looking waiting-room chairs. Blake’s head is resting on Weiss’ shoulder, Weiss’ head is resting on Yang’s lap, and Yang’s head is resting on the hospital bed next to her thigh, hands clenched in the blankets. Ruby smiles fondly at her team. She fumbles for her scroll, conveniently placed on the bedside table to her right. This is too sweet not to snap a picture of.

Before she can take a picture, though, her hand brushes against Yang’s, causing her sister to stir. Yang raises her head blearily, scrubbing at her eyes. “Ruby?” she asks softly, eyes wide.

“Aw, that was going to be such a cute picture,” Ruby complains.

“You scared me half to death!” Yang cries, lunging forwards and wrapping Ruby in a hug.

“Ow,” Ruby mutters. Blake perks her head up, cat ears swiveling in their direction. Next to her, Weiss snorts loudly before shaking herself awake. Their eyes go wide when they see that she’s awake.

“Hey guys,” Ruby says awkwardly, fighting the urge to giggle.

“Ruby!” Blake exclaims.

“We were so worried!” Weiss sniffles loudly.

“What happened?” Ruby asks.

The three girls look at each other for a long moment. “What do you remember?” Yang asks.

“Honestly, not much.” Ruby admits, staring down at her blanket-covered lap. “I remember sparring with Yang, and I remember trying to get ready to shower but then my chest started hurting really bad, and then it’s all pretty hazy.”

Blake, Weiss, and Yang look at each other again, which is really annoying, and as their leader Ruby would like them to stop doing that. Finally, Weiss speaks.

“Ruby, I’m not sure how to tell you this, but—” she trails off.

“You were poisoned.” Blake says bluntly. “They tested your coffee from this morning, and apparently found traces of a poison someone slipped in there.”

“Oh.” Ruby really doesn’t know what to say.

“Good thing I held onto your cup, huh?” Weiss jokes, but the levity falls flat.

In the awkward silence that follows, Blake decides to continue her explanation. “Since you didn’t drink all of the coffee, and they don’t think that there was a high enough dose in there the doctor is pretty sure that you would have been okay, but they’re glad that Yang called them so fast.”

Yang folds her arms across her chest. “And I still say that they’re full of crap. You guys didn’t see before her before they got there—” she trails off, swallowing hard.

Ruby pats her sister’s arm. “Well I’m feeling better now,” she reassures them. “Do they—” she clears her throat. “Do they know anything about who might have tried to poison me?”

“They found the guy who usually works that coffee stand you and Weiss went to,” Blake says hesitantly. “He was murdered. So I’m afraid that’s a dead end.”

“Oh,” Ruby says again, suddenly feeling very small and cold.

“Ironwood did recommend that we try to stick to only eating at trustworthy establishments, until they know more about what happened, if that helps any,” Blake says, rolling her eyes.

“Where are Jaune, Nora, Ren, and Oscar?” Ruby asks, desperate for a change of subject.

“Probably back in the dorms, waiting to hear about you,” Yang says, before wincing and picking up her scroll. “They’ve been texting us all afternoon asking for updates. They would’ve been waiting here too, but the nurse would only allow a few visitors at a time.”

“Afternoon?” Ruby asks. “What time is it now?”

“About 10:30.” Blake stretches her arms over her head.

Oh wow. That’s so much time lost. “It’s that late already? You guys should go back to the dorms, get some rest.”

Blake, Weiss, and Yang all look at her incredulously. “Yeah, no. We’re not leaving you here by yourself after what happened today.” Yang shakes her head.

“Ironwood also said that none of us should go anywhere alone,” Weiss adds.

“And in case you didn’t notice, we were just resting until a few minutes ago,” Blake points out.

“And someone has to keep an eye on you to make sure that you’re actually resting, little sis.”

Ruby bites her lip. She’s grateful to not be alone, but they shouldn’t have to be staying in uncomfortable chairs when they could be sleeping comfortably back at the dorms. “Don’t they have some extra beds or pillows somewhere for you guys?”

“I’ll go ask and see if they have any spare bedding for us,” Weiss says, heading towards the door.

“Good idea,” Yang says, slipping out of her chair. “Blake, go with her.”

As their partners slip out of the room, Yang clambers up on the bed next to Ruby. “Yang, I don’t think that you’re supposed to be up here.”

“Eh, there’s enough room for both of us, isn’t there?’ It takes some shuffling, and they have to be careful with Ruby’s IV, but eventually they settle in, Ruby tucked into Yang’s side.

“You should get some more sleep,” Yang says, brushing Ruby’s hair away from her forehead and humming softly under her breath.

“I’m really not that tired,” Ruby complains. She yawns immediately afterwards.

Yang laughs softly. “Sure, sis. C’mon, sleep, we’ll all be here when you wake up.” She’s just about to drift off when she hears her sister mutter something else.

“We will find the person who did this to you. And I’m going to make them pay.”

[razberryyum]

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The Untamed/陈情令 Rewatch, Episode 2 (spoilers for everything)

(covers MDZS chaps 6 - 10 and a bit of 13)

WangXian meter: 🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰

(a 🐰 is earned every time there is a WangXian scene or even when they’re just thinking of each other)

I always tell people when I’m trying to get them to watch The Untamed that when they get to this particular scene in the second episode, they’ll know if they will be into the show. To me, this is the game-changer moment: you’re either in or out after this. If this scene doesn’t emotionally move you enough to at least continue on with the drama, nothing else will.  It is seriously one of the most romantic scenes I have ever seen captured on screen. This was the moment that made me realize not only was I now fully committed to CQL, but that I had also found a new obsession and was ready to devote myself to Mo Dao Zu Shi.  After all, something that can lead to the creation of such a beautiful scene MUST hold other invaluable treasures. So into the MDZS rabbit hole I went, happily diving head first.  

Even now I’m still amazed that this scene exists in the intact form that it does. I started The Untamed with little to no expectations, especially knowing the restrictions it was under AND having just finished Guardian and experiencing how poor creative decisions can arise due to censorship (or at least, using that as an excuse for their dumb story choices). As I mentioned previously, the first episode was a hard sell since they definitely did not put their best foot forward first, but I liked Xiao Zhan immediately and Wei Wuxian as a character was interesting enough that I wanted to learn more about his past that led to his death and rebirth. The small glimpses we saw of his relationship with Lan Zhan also fascinated me, but then with this second episode, the weak points of the pilot still remained: there was still bad CGI (the statue) and very amateurish technical mistakes (in the recognition scene, at one point, in a close-up shot they’re holding onto each other, but in the next far away backside shot they’re clearly standing apart from each other, only to return to holding each other once again once the camera cuts back to a close-up...whoever the editor is on CQL probably should dunk their head in the toilet every time these editing errors pop up) that made my initial viewing of this episode a frustrating one for most of its runtime. I think I spent most of my initial viewing just distracted, playing on my phone or something, until the big WangXian moment happened and then I was shocked and awed.  I know I wasn’t paying close attention that first time because when I rewatched the episode later on, I realized I missed a lot of dialogue and details. I have since revisited this second episode numerous times more, and I do feel bad about how dismissive I was initially. It’s a pretty loaded episode: it has funny, poignant, creepy, mysterious, and cool moments while still feeding us bits of the overarching plot. I definitely have developed an affection for it since my first viewing and it’s become one of my favorite episodes in the series.

Of Pining & other Heart-achy Things

This simple line from Jiang Cheng is enough to make my eyes well up with tears: I can’t help but imagine Lan Zhan traveling around the world for sixteen years, most likely all alone, stopping at different places to play Inquiry, fervently hoping that maybe one day he’ll finally receive an answering chord from Wei Ying, only to be confronted by a deafening silence again and again and again. How utterly sad and disappointed he must have been every time, and yet still, he never gave up and just went to the next location to do the same thing and experience the same heavy disappointment all over again. If that doesn’t make your heart ache, I’m sorry to tell you, your heart is no longer functional.

It’s a detail I don’t remember if the novel covered, but I’m assuming that Lan Zhan was the one to bring Wei Ying’s inventions like the spirit attraction flag and the compass back to Gusu and incorporate them for use in his sect’s normal cultivation practices.  I know other people have use his tools as well since that nameless cultivator at the start of the episode was also using the spirit compass, but I feel that with Lan Wangji, he probably purposefully acquired and adapted WWX’s techniques so that every time they’re used, they can serve as a reminder of Wei Ying for him. Though it does make me wonder how Lan Zhan managed to get those approved by his uncle; I can’t imagine Lan Qiren being ok with using anything that was created by the man whom he blames for the corruption of his beloved nephew and model student. Did LWJ just pretend he created them instead? That doesn’t even sound right. Maybe Uncle Lan decided to be merciful and just let Lan Zhan win this one since he was probably obviously miserable after Wei Ying’s death.   Yeah, I can buy that scenario, especially since the flag and compass are pretty useful tools.  

I wondered did LWJ already suspect “Mo Xuanyu” was Wei Ying before he started playing Wuji on his flute. It’s curious that he happened to be in that part of the forest at that time. I’m guessing his Wei Ying senses were tingled when he heard about Mo Xuanyu’s skills from Sizhui and the boys so that’s why he was hanging around the vicinity just in case MXY reveals his true identity. After waiting 16 years for this reunion, it’s no wonder Lan Zhan had no qualms about holding onto WWX’s wrist in public for much longer than socially appropriate.  

I actually get a little emotional every time I rewatch this episode and watch Jin Ling display his mad archery skills because I would always think of how much he takes after his dad. His parents would’ve been so proud to see him all grown up like this; Shijie would’ve been so happy she probably would get teary-eyed as well every time she saw her boy in action. Sure, he’s a spoiled little princess, but he is also a pretty skilled princess with a heart of gold and I just wish they had more time together as a family.  

They looked so happy, look at all those smiles. It really makes me so sad that Wei Ying will probably never be able to hug JC like that again, and of course he’ll never be able to hug Shijie period. Great now I want to cry again.

Lan Jingyi Appreciation Section

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this precious boy by name so far, so I wanted to take this opportunity to show him some much deserved love. Lan Jingyi with his resting bitch face and steady stream of snark was really the MVP of this episode. He actually made me laugh out loud a few times...in fact, he almost always makes me laugh as soon as he scrunches up his face like he’s smelling something bad. I recently saw someone mention that he’s really the most un-Lan of the Lans (sorry, I forgot who posted that so I apologies for not giving proper credit) and that is really the perfect description of him. I love this kid as much as I love Sizhui and Jin Ling, and I am also sincerely fascinated by him. I mean, who raised him in the Gusu Lan sect? Cuz I cannot imagine Lan Qiren being the one since Jingyi undoubtedly would’ve had all his snark driven out of him at an early age. Hell, the amount of disciplinary action he probably had to have gone through would’ve probably killed him at a young age.  Did he join the sect when he was already fully formed so that’s why he’s still breaking Lan sect rules right and left? He threatened an old man and is like rude to everyone. I don’t know all 3000 rules but I’m pretty sure being mean to the elderly and insulting to supposedly mentally unstable people are probably not allowed. If anything, his disposition would make him more suitable for the Lanling Jin sect and yet he’s with the stuffy Lans. WHY? I could watch a whole spin-off series with just him and the other juniors as long as we get to learn about how he came to be with the Gusu Lan sect. He’s hilarious and adorable, and among the many the reasons why I wish we had more episodes for the present-day arc, one of them is because I wanted to spend more time with the juniors, especially Lan Jingyi, even if it meant the screenwriters would’ve had to go off book and create new scenes for them. It would’ve been well worth it to hear LJY throw more shade at people.  

Random Bits of Randomness

It’s kinda crazy how WWX just stood there with his back turned, oblivious to Jin Ling’s attack. If Lan Zhan’s blade hadn’t blocked JL’s sword, that would’ve been the end of our main protagonist. I just thought that was such an odd scene...I would’ve felt just a little better if Wei Ying had at least had a little more awareness that an attack was heading for him and made some attempt to get out of the way.  

Ugh, that mask. First of all it’s ugly AF, and secondly it’s so freaking ill-fitting it was distracting. Would’ve been nice if the production team gave him a mask that actually fit his face. I mean, did it HAVE to be THAT damn big? I’m amazed they don’t have bts clips of Xiao Zhan tripping and hurting himself because the stupid mask blocked his vision.

Other than being a brilliant mastermind and Oscar-worthy actor, Nie Huaisang has got to be one of the greatest cultivators if not THE greatest cultivator of all time to be able to conjure up an illusion like that. That thing was doing real damage to people. If it was just a phantom, what the heck was holding up those two cultivators in midair like that? And what kicked Jin Ling around? I know Wei Ying was able to drive people crazy with his flute during his Yiling Patriarch phase, but his handiwork still felt more grounded and reasonable than this.  

Questions I still have (please feel free to answer them):

- Who was that old man at the grave? Someone NHS paid to just hang around the graves until the juniors and WWX came by?  

- So NHS basically fucked up Yan’s entire family and God knows how many other people just to get WWX to eventually play his flute to lure Wen Ning out from wherever he was hiding?

- How did JGY not know Wen Ning escaped? Or did he just leave those details to Xue Yang so he didn’t really care about what happened to Wen Ning?  I’m trying if this was addressed in the book but my mind is coming up empty. I don’t think it was brought up in the show though, or I just completely missed it.

Overall Episode Rating: 9 Lil Apples out of 10

[absolutelyxosmittenxo]

Imagine: How miscellaneous RWBY characters express how much they love you.

RUBY ROSE: Little Red Riding Hood is flushed in the cheeks, incapable of containing her excitement to the extent you encourage herself to breathe before passing out. "You're just so cool, amazing, really cute, and I just really, really, really love you a whole lot! I can't believe you're dating me and oh my goodness I can't breathe-"

WEISS SCHNEE: Conveyed as the anime archetype 'tsundere', it simply depends on the circumstances. In your company, the heiress holds your gaze tenderly, delicately folding her hands together and speaking honestly. "I love you so much. Thank you for taking the time to know me, and letting me discover who I truly want to be."

BLAKE BELLADONNA: Distance has been asserted considering the past experiences shared with Adam Taurus - the Belladonna's daughter is mortified of what threat infatuation could pose. Yet you've seeped through those cracks; within, a timid, open minded and merciful girl desiring nothing but unity for everyone. She is smiling softly, ears exposed freely as they flick every which way. "I've been afraid for so long - but when you came into my life, I decided I didn't want to run away anymore. Now, I can fully admit I love you, and know you love me for me."

YANG XIAO LONG: "You actually stayed here with me," the bombshell blonde utters, implying abandonment was an emotional obstruction she faced more than desired. Her mechanical arm quivers under the pressure of her anxiety; but as she concludes you are there, you won't leave, she takes a moment to breathe. "I want to be there for you, like you always have been for me. You mean the world to me."

PENNY POLENDINA: Whether Professor Polendina invested in hardwiring the concept of romance or love into the robot's system, she was adapting to the idea. Little by little, she was learning more and more. Sometimes, Penny jumps to the opportunity to wrap her arms around your neck, squeezing the very life out of you. "I love you! I love you! You're the bestest friend I could have ever asked for."

JAUNE ARC: "I know most underestimate me - well, I'm sure pretty much all of Beacon did," Jaune laughs dryly, evidently wandering to the bitter moments of being seen as underwhelming, even by his own family. "But I know there's people who believe in me. Even then, I was so dumb, and ignored them, and once I realized they cared, they were gone. I won't make the same mistake twice. I love you so much, I can't bear to lose you like Pyrrha."

NORA VALKYRIE: Born a rambler, once her lightning strikes, there's no way out of it. "You're always just so adorable, strong, wonderful - mhm, Ren, more pancakes, please! - When you said you wanted to be together-together, I just couldn't pass the chance up!" Through a mouthful of ooey gooey, syrup soaked pancakes, she says, "I love yoooooooooooou!" 

PYRRHA NIKOS: Destiny was debatable; was it predetermined, or was it belonging to you as you paved your own pathway along life? It was a definitive question the invincible girl pondered frequently. But the very fact you try your best to bring joy into her life, in spite of potential doubts of your worth? She is absolutely smitten. With a light stroke of your hair, and caressing your cheek, Pyrrha smiles warmly, "You are everything to me."

LIE REN: Ren relies on subtlety to depict his emotions. One could say his motto is "Actions speak louder than words." Indeed they do, considering whenever push comes to shove, his affection manifests itself in simple ways. Particularly holding your hand. You could be clinging to your very life line, hope fading as the world seems to be plummeting into oblivion. However, once the huntsman intertwines his fingers with yours, you realize everything will be okay on the end.

SUN WUKONG: His velvety smooth, cream yellow tail is embracing the branch haphazardly, as he awaits your presence. As soon as you stroll on around, the monkey faunus seizes the opportunity to execute his plan. Dropping down, Sun swoops in, kissing you square on the mouth as you emit a surprised squeak. "Love you, babe!"

NEPTUNE VASILIAS: It was gentle leaning, inspecting your features, admiring how lovely you were. He was a love sick fool - you had the flirty boy enraptured, head over heels, considering himself every term to describe how much he was falling deeper in love with you. Neptune adores you. "Gosh, you're cute," he smooches you on the cheek, How'd I get so lucky?"

COCO ADEL: Her expressions of love are never discreet; Fox, Velvet and Yatsuhashi are subjected to her attempts of showing it often. Before you awaken, the gunslinger equips an appealing color of her lipstick, and inscribes a few words upon the mirror. In the morning, as the time signifies you must rise to the occasion, you venture into the restroom, only to see what Coco had left behind. "I love you" written in lipstick, her signature emblem implying it was her.

VELVET SCARLATINA: Each picture was worth a thousand words - upon every photograph snapped, Velvet could sense the devotion, sweetness, heartfelt moments and even beyond emanating from the scenes captured. Thus, she compiles them to the best of her ability. The shy bunny is internally bouncing off the walls as she hands you the album she created, confessing with rosy cheeks, "Every moment we share reminds me of why I love you so much - so, I thought, why not show you all the moments we have had together?"

OZPIN: Millenniums were spent contemplating pensively, having people lose faith in him, watching everyone else perish as he was forced to wander the Earth. The academy's headmaster has suffered severely. The thought of having you cease to exist while his soul remains is ingrained his mind. But Ozpin concludes worrying for the future isn't going to be helpful. For now, he must cherish what he had. As he sees you sleeping soundly, and leans over, pecking your temple, he truly can say, "I love you to the moon and back."

GLYNDA GOODWITCH: Left to mend the broken pieces of a once content Vale, Glynda has suffered the hardships of immense, overwhelming grief. Ozpin was off to reincarnate wherever his soul wound up, students fled across the kingdom, majority barely seeing the light of day since the fall. But you didn't leave. As you raise Glynda up, explain how grateful you are for her efforts, how Ozpin and all the students are proud of her, she is reminded of why she fell in love with you. "Thank you for staying beside me in this time of hardships - you mean everything to me." 

QROW BRANWEN: Alcohol flooding into his brain, the uncle of Ruby and Yang is spouting lyrical nonsense. You sigh in response to your beloved's irrational babbling, having his head rest in your lap. He is the equivalent of a toddler following a few or several alcoholic beverages. "I love you~" Qrow would confess constantly, trying to smother you sloppily in kisses, breath radiating the worst of odors before passing out. After waking up the next day with a hangover, the Branwen groans from the migraine, apologizing for his goofiness. "I don't know how you do it, but thanks for putting up with me."

WINTER SCHNEE: Family was a touchy subject to graze on in terms of a persuasive yet spiteful father neglecting his children unless they were needed to serve a purpose. All the soldier considered to be family, for the most part, was her younger sister, and butler, Klein. However, it's a rare sight to see as she disentangles her luscious white hair from its bun, and she is witnessed smiling so sweetly as she peppers you in brisk kisses. "It isn't often someone comes into my life and makes it more worthwhile - but you have helped me cherish it even more." 

JAMES IRONWOOD: His body was composed not of flesh and blood; metal prosthetics filled the spaces of appendages deprived of him. Yet James was as handsome, wholesome, and endearing as he always has been. With the man's chest exposed, ebony bangs slightly out of place as you both had just woken up, you rest on the edge of your bed. He's breathing gingerly, as you stroke your thumb under the surface of his palm. Raising your hand to his lips, he kisses it, expressing, "I love you so dearly." 

OSCAR PINE: He wouldn't be the kid he was prior to merging souls with a seemingly immortal man. No longer a farmer hand reduced to playing the role of feeding livestock and raking hay. Now, he was thrusted into the life of a new incarnation of the one meant to defeat an unstoppable force. Through it all, though, Oscar was falling in love. He plucked the loveliest flower he could find, stroking the back of his head nervously as it offered it to you. "I know there's so much going on right now, with there perhaps being a war, people trying to kill us constantly - it's just crazy. But you give me a chance to breathe. And, as silly as it might sound, I really love you for it."

CINDER FALL: Perhaps the wicked woman's upbringing was similar to Cinderella, yet she couldn't seek the happy fairytale ending her inspiration was fortunate enough to have. Or, at least, from what we have seen. To you, Cinder is an enigma, much to be explored as she is in pursuit for power. But you turn the tables as she stops the world to get off with you. Having you close your eyes, Miss Fall indulges you in her, lips touching yours endlessly, and you are on the verge of fainting from being so breathless. "Do not think - succumb to these urges to embrace me, and I shall never let you go. Maybe you and I can find that happy ending we desire, as we rise to the top, and all else fall." 

ROMAN TORCHWICK: Smoke drawls from the cigar tucked in between his lips, the con artist grinning as you curled yourself around his waist. Being pummeled by fifteen year old girls weren't exactly confidence boosting, but at the end of the day, to have you be so loyal and endearing has his heart skip a beat. Roman parts the cylinder momentarily, "Dear, have I ever mentioned how much I adore you?" 

MERCURY BLACK: One, two, three - the liplocks multiplied as the mechanical marvel covers your body in kisses. He doesn't hesitate to express his dedication, although preserves it for private settings, sprinkling playful banter here and there. The assassin's son swipes away any residue residing on your mouth, smirking, "Babe, you're my one and only - don't let anyone tell you otherwise." 

EMERALD SUSTRAI: In your arms, the master of thieves believes she is finally at home, a safe haven where she can not worry about going hungry or being reduced to filth. She isn't manipulated to conduct misdeeds as she is by Cinder; you have compassion for her, saving the time to make her happier and make her feel loved. Really, Emmy never anticipated to receive such affection. But as the thief dissolves into your embrace, she whispers, "God, I love you." 

NEOPOLITAN: As far as we are concerned, the killer queen waving around a lethal parasol cannot emit sound from her vocal chords. But verbal obstacles won't stand in the way of this tiny antagonist. Neo props herself up on her tip toes, fluttering her eyelashes innocently. No hidden intent, yet you have your worries. Of course, your expectations are evaded, as she stands on top of your feet, kisses your lips, and signs the typical romantic phrase for you. 

SALEM: Externally, Salem appears monstrous, depravity consuming her as revenge drives her motives. Beneath the surface, however, the eternal being exposes gentleness, in which she nurtures you, raises you up, refusing to let you crumble. "I have lived as long as you can imagine. It's scarce, for someone to catch my interest as you have. Ozpin's dominion shall fall apart, so long as all is executed as it should. As I seize control, you will forever remain by my side. That much I can promise you, my love."

ILIA AMITOLA: "I always wanted Blake to look at me the way she did with Adam," the memory causes the chameleon's heart to throb undeniably, "I was hopelessly in love with her." Alternating accordingly to her emotions, Ilia's speckles changes to a pink resembling cherry blossoms.  "But now that I've met you, I can forgive myself for my past mistakes. I don't need to blend in - you love me as I am. And I love you just the same."

[ask-beacons-finest]

"(Grimmfuture) To the New Staff of Beacon Academy. Allow me to start by offering my my condolences for the losses that have occurred over the years. Now, seeing that my schedule is clear, allow me to make you the very same offer that Ozpin and his staff have previously agreed to many times before; My friends and I will happily take over the responsibility of teaching the students for a few days should you like to take a small vacation, a full expenses paid spa retreat is on the table for all staff. Enjoy." (Sent by revengehunter01)

  Weiss sat motionless at the head of a large table, her eyes darting up from the letter she had just read to scan the individuals sitting alongside her, each one lost in their respective thoughts. The probability of this letter being a trap of sorts is front and center on everyone's minds however, and unanimously, they silently agree upon it being too dangerous to let slide.

 "Well," Blake was the first to speak up from her place at Weiss's side, as the only one standing in the room the others lifted their chins to look their respected colleague in the eyes, even Weiss, who was exhausted from going through hours of paperwork today alone had made the effort to turn and look to her beloved, "They did leave a name. We can track it."

 "We can add them to the list, sure."

 Blake's eyes darted from Weiss to the source of the voice. Yang Xiao Long sat at the opposite head of the table to Weiss, surely wanting to be as far away from both her and Blake as possible. Her eyes, however, were fixated on the ceiling, swirling in a hypnotic fashion as they follow a ceiling fan's blades. Her feet were kicked up on the table in such an uncaring and disrespectful manner that Blake couldn't help but feel her skin crawl. She gently placed a hand upon Weiss's shoulder, partially to give and receive support, and partially to remind Weiss who remained by her side all this time.

 "Shouldn't you get Ruby's permission," Ren's voice took Blake by surprise, as he rarely speaks up during these conferences, preferring to silently listen and nod and give his input to Weiss directly afterward, something Weiss appreciates greatly as his insight into these things is more phenomenal than any other.

 "Ruby has told me several times, and I've told you the same amount," Yang dropped her feet off the table and sat up, leaning forward, her body instinctively falling into a slouch, "My voice is her's. She doesn't care about any of this. You know that. Only thing she cares about is Cinder. That's it."

 Blake could feel a gross yearning in the pit of her heart as she watches Yang's face struggle to swallow sadness, beneath her hand she could feel Weiss shift forward towards Yang, leaning in almost as if ready to embrace her from across the long table. The yearning in her heart was immediately replaced with a fiery blast of anger, directed not at Yang, but Weiss. She understands Weiss's feelings towards Yang, and the fact she misses her, but to show it so openly when the one you sleep next to nearly every night is beside you, hand on your shoulder.

Blake scowls, her eyes burning daggers in Yang's direction, who notices and returns the look with a pair of dead, uncaring eyes. Blake feels as though her heart is about to snap. She is unsure of the emotion behind it.

 "I say," a new voice spoke out to the crowd, ragged and shaky as though it spends more time screaming and crying than anything else, and knowing the owner, it probably does.

 "Coco," Yang interrupts, "I'm glad to see you're still somewhat functional."

 "Yang Xiao Long if you're going to waste our time with criticisms of your former classmates then you can very well leave as quickly as you arriv-"

 "Blake," Weiss's voice cut through Blake's fury, her hand holding tightly onto Blake's jacket sleeve, keeping her standing in one place as she had, without any knowledge, taken the first few steps forward towards Yang, "Please."

 Blake felt shame rush over her as she looks around the table of her colleagues, seeing some heads shake, though who they were for or against is a mystery. Yang sat still and silent for a moment before quickly uttering an apology for Coco, ushering her to continue on.

 "Thank you," Coco nodded, her voice was slightly stronger thanks to the support of Blake, though her sunken-in eyes and subtle trembling betrayed any semblance of stability, "I say we take them up on it. If we know it's a trap and walk right in, but prepared, we might have the upper hand."

 "Those who fear no evil," the group turns in unison to an enormous giant of a man, he sat stroking his beard calmly as he grips tightly to prayer beards in his off hand, "Often find themselves approaching the worst of it. We must brace ourselves."

 "We can send students," Jaune, who usually speaks more during these meetings seemed unnaturally silent for the past few discussions, "They can scout it out under the guise of-"

"No."

Weiss's voice came from a head hung in shame, despite this, it rang strongly through everyone's ears.

"We do not risk students' lives. Ever. I will not lose another team."

"Loss," the bearded man stands, towering well over everyone else even more so now, "Is a part of life. But that which can be lost, can be gained again."

"Lives are different, Yatsu," Coco spoke up, her face sadly looking on to her old teammate, the only one still around, "Lives are just...too much. You know that."

Blake's stomach churned as she watched Coco curl up, bringing her knees up to her chest like a child as Yatsuhashi made an unannounced exit, though that was no surprise. Blake scanned through the old classmates she once knew as invincible.

But only saw a man half of what he once was, both in spirit and body.

A man obsessed with the well being of the one he loves, so much so he struggles with himself.

A woman so devoted to both her sister and her pride she'll die before apologizing to those she wronged.

A woman so stuck in the past and focused on a deed she never truly committed, that she's let herself go to hell and back.

And beside her, the love of Blake's life struggling to hold back the tears brought about by her past failures as a Headmistress.

She looks down to her own hands, and sees the blood of her people staining them red.

Perhaps they do need a vacation.

[gurguliare]

this is the longest chatlog, catie and emma have to read all of it

Em: poor lin shu all ‘i loaned the book to jingyan but it’s fine he never notices anything - wait SHIT these are VERY PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE DESSERT BOXES.’ Gogol: yes Gogol: i love the idea of like Gogol: baby lin shu horrible at observing his own dietary requirements Gogol: consort jing unfortunately has NO CLUE as to the myriad of new dietary requirements he has developed Gogol: since being poisoned. Gogol: just thousands of thrilling intolerances to ignore Em: he doesn’t have a digestive system anymore, he donated it to fei liu Gogol: yes Em: i do genuinely want btw Em: telepathic jingyan fic Gogol: and then there's his allergy to "air colder than room temperature," and "walks"---NO IT'S SO GOOD Em: telepathic jingyan and it doesn’t help Gogol: i meant to compliment you on it did i not. absolute perfection Gogol: i love it presumably because all the thoughts are like. exactly what mei changsu is saying with his mouth, but meaner Gogol: interspersed with occasional comments on jingyan's hair Gogol: it's not that mei changsu is any more conniving or ruthless than lin shu was. he just doesn't swear enough. Em: right literally that Em: lin shu: says exactly what mei changsu says, but adds ‘you stupid fucking water buffalo’ at the end of every third sentence Em: jingyan: i know that i am on the right path, because the spirits of the honoured dead are with me Em: mei changsu: ...right. Em: lin shu’s ghost, presumably: jingyan you’re so lucky you’re pretty

Gogol: ok but so the most important part of this right is lin shu also hearing jing's thoughts and assuming that this is just a sign of his own incredible perspicaciousness Em: oh my god Gogol: lin shu: my powers of extrapolation know no bounds Gogol: jingyan: uh huh Gogol: lin shu: exactly what he WOULD think! Gogol: my vision is eventually just full outloud conversations intermittently in response to thoughts while everyone around them wonders what the fuck is happening Em: oh please can he overhear. jingyan’s tremendous personal shame at feeling attracted to mei changsu. Em: specifically his shame about ‘desiring’ ‘happiness’ Em: yes definitely also this is exactly how they conversed as adolescents Gogol: YES Em: they have always been like this Gogol: THEY'VE HAD THE TELEPATHIC BOND THE ENTIRE TIME NEITHER HAS EVER QUESTIONED IT FOR A /VARIETY/ Of REASONS Gogol: i like the idea then also that it just has like. a forty mile radius limit or something completely physiological and normal Gogol: so then for the twelve intervening years it was just like Gogol: every so often mcs would go on a dumb adventure near the frontier and jingyan would get weird static and assume he was just, like, insane Gogol: which jives completely with the rest of his experience of those twelve years! so nw Em: oh my god Em: no he doesn’t assume he is insane he assumes he is being HAUNTED Em: the ghost of lin shu is yelling at him about flute boats Gogol: --ok Gogol: point Gogol: he would recognize the voice. Gogol: it's not like lin shu was ever on-topic in life. Gogol: this does raise the weird question of whether mcs' internal voice sounds like lin shu or mcs Em: ...I want to say lin shu Gogol: ia and i think the rest of the series bears you out on this lol, not to spoil except you've ALREADY READ ALL MY SPOILER PLAINTS Gogol: his is not a fast-adapting mind Em: on the other hand ‘i have been hearing your voice in my head for twelve years what the fuck’ has a certain charm Gogol: omg. yes. v different fic though Gogol: mcs: gives prepared speech about wading through a river of blood. jingyan, frowning in great concentration: six years ago did you once spend an hour trying to get a cat to let you rub its belly Em: i’m on episode twenty nine and I can already tell that mcs is PAPER thin Em: as a personality Em: lin shu: who are you Em: mcs: i’m you but slower Em: ...I feel like ‘I’m you but slower’ is probably the best characterisation opinion i’m going to have on this show Gogol: it's VERY GOOD. Em: related: jingyan has his suspicions about mcs but changed his mind after they started sleeping together. this man is clearly not lin shu. lin shu never had sex lasting longer than six minutes. Em: he tried but he got bored. Gogol: to be fair mcs falls asleep sometimes but that is because of his illness Gogol: it would be churlish to hold him to blame Em: jingyan is just. very boring in bed. Em: very tender. very sincere. likes prolonged eye contact. Gogol: the thing is i imagine that he and lin shu legitimately had a lot of fun, ill-advised, death-defying sex which doubled as just, like, you know, resilience testing for the product, but i also assume that jingyan has NO IDEA how to dick down an ~invalid Gogol: and is constantly thinking about this Em: asdfghjkl Em: all the time Em: thinking about it Em: which brings me back to Em: their telepathic bond Gogol: FUCK Em: jingyan: please advise me, sir su. Em: mcs: goes ahead and gives him sex advice for the question he was thinking instead of political advice for the thing he said. Em: or, no Em: jingyan comes to believe Em: that the ghost of lin shu is telling him how to bone this invalid Gogol: "i have his blessing!" Em: his detailed and specific blessing and his recommendations for positions and creative use of supportive pillows Gogol: "i can't believe i have his blessing. truly the dead must be incapable of love, or i lost his love through my slowness in seeking justice." Gogol: wait no i don't think jing is THAT dumb but i do feel like he would be a little resentful about "ghost" lin shu pushing him into mcs' arms, whether because he thinks the ghost is a hallucination and just a weaker way of telling himself what he wants to hear OR because lin shu's invasiveness about his love life was always annoying Gogol: anyway, whatever the case, best love triangle. Em: jingyan tenderly making love to mcs in a faintly resentful way because he’s annoyed lin shu insisted on getting involved in his love life is a beautiful image Gogol: YES Gogol: mcs: finally. that's the stuff Gogol: then: ow. turns out he talks big but doesn't actually enjoy his nonexistent biceps being SQUEEZED, what are they, barbarians Em: jingyan to mcs: sometimes i wish xiao shu was less involved in my love life Gogol: mcs presumably a baby about hair-pulling---fjdkslJGL:KSGOD... THE THING IS THIS IS SO. CLOSE TO THEIR. CANON CONVERSATIONS ABOUT "XIAO-SHU" Gogol: we really have just hit on a deeper vein of canon i think Em: I think all I really want is for jingyan to lovingly wrap mcs in a blanket and just. keep wrapping. Em: burrito him good Em: and carry him somewhere nice and quiet Em: and let him do his scream therapy until he tires himself out and goes to sleephappy ending Gogol: i would love for mcs to be nonharmfully sat on Em: unfortunately it’s impossible Em: his bones would snap Em: the ghost of lin shu has warned jingyan about this. mcs must always be on top. but he cannot be expected to do any work. jingyan had better practice his crunches. Em: shut UP xiao shu, says jingyan, out loud. their telepathy is functional over a medium distance. mcs isn’t even in the room. Em: lin shu, half a mile away, glances up from his tea and remarks: ah. prince jingyan feels frustrated just now. i deduced that. Gogol: the one question i then have is. who or what does mcs think "lin shu's ghost" is Em: oh he. doesn’t notice. Em: he’s just talking to jingyan, what about it. Em: ‘but jingyan is behaving strangely’ is he? he seems pretty normal. Em: until of course. jingyan confesses the truth to him. because he’s worried that either he is truly insane, in which case maybe? mcs shouldn’t make him emperor? or! he is perpetually haunted by lin shu telling him to do things! Em: in which case mcs DEFINITELY shouldn’t make him emperor Gogol: oh my god Gogol: fuck Gogol: SORRY JUST THE VISION OF Gogol: jingyan earnestly explaining to mcs that lin shu was his dear friend and could in no way be trusted with a nation Gogol: sure he wasn't capable of TREASON Gogol: but ANYTHING ELSE Em: yes exactly Gogol: anything, sir su. he once hid our baby cousins in an unused oven Em: just now his ghost told me SO WHAT Gogol: IT WAS UNUSED!! Gogol: said his ghost. you see my issue, mr su. Em: sir su, he is a man who even after twelve years of death can not understand why you do not put children in an oven Gogol: he is also extremely narcissistic, as demonstrated by the fact that he keeps responding to questions directed at you Em: and i am incapable of refusing him Gogol: and he is incapable of not exploiting my devotion, as evidenced by the fact that he just yelled, GOOD. Gogol: ....with your mouth. oh! that i would see the day my old friend sank to possessing the living! Em: this is the only au where lin shu sits jingyan down and explains the truth in small simple words Gogol: this is my favorite au.