#' i think my wife is cheating on me. ' ' i feel lost in life. ' ' i miss my father ' type confessions.

[tenebriism]

SIDE. EYE.

[lovelettersfromluna]

Dream Girl

Summary: Did you seriously think you’d be able to get over someone like Ellie Williams? Think again, dream girl.

an: I’m so obsessed with this series and the portrayal of Ellie, there’s just something about a small town romance that scratches the sweet spot in my brain. I hope you guys have enjoyed this one just as much as I have! Thank you so much for all of the support 🤍

Warnings: smut! MDNI!! 18+, tribbing (another tribbing fic by Luna?? Ofc do you not know me by now?), lots of kissing, sub!ellie if you squint, angst, mentions of another love interest, mentions of cheating, reader sucks Ellie’s fingers, pet names, unsure and closed off reader, pls lmk if I missed anything!

Read part 1 here!!

You watched from your bed as the gentle wind blew your lace curtains further into your bedroom, the birds chirping as the early morning sun slowly rose, cascading a warm glow into your room, making you squint your sore eyes with a soft groan.

With the slow rise of the sun came the constant reminder that you’d spent yet another night without catching a wink of sleep, lying there as you allowed your thoughts to carry you to places you wished didn’t exist.

Places of your ex wife, the bitter taste of your marriage still lingering on your tongue, reminding you of everything that could have been, everything that was lost due to lust.

Places of Ellie, the person who stole your heart first. You think of everything that could have changed had you not gone to the city, how your life's outcome would have had such a great shift due to one tiny change within the line of events that made up who you were, and what you did with your life.

It all leaves the whole in your heart feeling bigger, wider, swallowing up so much of the tiny organ that it almost felt there was nothing left of it.

It had been only a few days since the last time you saw Ellie, and the memories of that night still lingering in you brain, hanging heavily in your mind, stopping you from focusing on anything but that.

Because as much it felt good to kiss her, you haven't even been divorced for a year, and the conflicting feelings that you had for Ellie, paired with the newfound distrust and heartbreak that came from your recent marriage caused a storm in your head, heavy clouds swirling about in the confides of your mind and making it heard to think, hard to breath.

It was all just too fucking hard.

But you knew life was different now. You weren't a teenage girl that could run from confrontations for her own comfort. You were a grown up now, experiencing grown up situations that called for grown up reactions. So you knew that you needed to talk to Ellie, no matter how much it hurt to even think about facing her right now.

You weren’t even entirely sure where to start. Texting her was an absolute no, despite how much easier it would be to confront her that way, behind a screen would do a great job at cushioning the blow that came with confronting Ellie. Calling fell under the same category, she deserved much more than a measly phone call from your end with the intention of patching things up.

Which left only one option. You had to see her in person.

You sighed softly as you sat up in your bed, looking over at your phone resting face down on your bedside table. You hadn’t touched it since that night, avoiding the device all together in fear that you’d see any messages or calls from the worried girl.

So you aren’t surprised when you finally pick it up to see just that. Ellie didn’t pry, there were about three phone calls and four messages, all of which came across far too understanding and supportive for someone that had been kicked out mid make out session a few nights prior.

You inhale deeply before you open up your messages with her, and begin typing.

Hi

I’m sorry I haven’t responded.

Are you busy today? Can we meet up? I feel we need to talk

You practically hold your breath until she responds, which doesn’t take a very long time because the minute you send your first message, she’s read it and already typing out her message back.

Hey, don’t apologize. I was just worried about you

Ofc we can meet. Farmers market is opened today, you wanna check it out?

You don’t even realize it, but her messages are making you smile the second you read them out. Probably because of how easy Ellie makes things, how hard it is to make things awkward with someone as kind as she is.

That sounds great.

I’ll meet you there

Cool :)

Despite the small amount of anxiety that has alleviated when you’re finished texting her, you know this is only the beginning, the easy part of a conversation that will be much harder to have, much harder to explain when you aren’t even sure how to navigate your feelings as it is.

But there was no use in putting it off any further, so you’re quick to get out of bed, brush your teeth, haul on a pair of old blue jeans and an old band t-shirt and make your way out to your car to meet Ellie in town.

It’s almost impossible to have a sour mood in a place as magical as your little town. The moment you got into your car, the warm sun soaking into your skin made you take a deep breath, allowing yourself to clear your head for a second before making your way out into town.

Your mom was right, the sun can cure more than you thought.

You hadn’t even realized it was Sunday, which meant it was your towns tradition to hold the farmers market in the town center. You used to look forward to it so much as a kid, knowing it would bring out the best of the people that lived here, showcasing the talent every person had.

Some people sold clothes that they made by hand, pieces that could only be made with love and care, something you often missed seeing in the city. Others sold jewelry, so delicately crafted it was almost unbelievable that someone was able to create something like it.

But your favorite? Was the food. Different pastries baked by the hands of men and women, recipes passed on from generation to generation to continue to breath life into the traditions that made up your town, tying one another together with a single cake or pie.

It was almost like magic.

You catch yourself smiling as you walk down the strip of stands already getting into their sales. Your heart warms at the sight of familiar faces, aged but still happy. You notice new ones as well, like when you approach a stand you remember being up when you were kid, one of which sold your favorite sweet rolls.

Your attention is far too occupied with chatting up the familiar curly haired girl at the stand, the same one that your visit when you were a teenager, eager to her mothers famous pastures. You’re surprised to see that there’s now a baby on her hip sporting the same head of spiral chocolate brown locks sprouting from her head, giggling and kicking excitedly as you introduce yourself, grabbing the babies hands as you catch your with her mom.

Ellie had arrived not long after you, standing nearby as she smiles fondly at the way the baby quickly becomes enamored with you. Watching you play with kids was something that always made her heart flutter with joy.

You giggle softly as she hands you both pastries, giving her a nod as she begs you to come visit her and the sweet baby more often. You hum softly as you struggle to push both your receipt and your phone back into your purse, groaning softly to yourself as you fail to notice the sudden looming presence that falls over the, gentle hands opening your bag wider as they aid you in putting everything away.

“Here, lemme help you” Ellie breaths out gently, her voice alone making you freeze as your eyes trail to her body to land on her face that was suddenly very close to yours.

She chuckles when she notices you staring up at her with wide eyes, nodding her head down to your bag.

“Come on now, would hate to make you drop those” she hums as she mentions the pastries in your other hand. You blink a few times before you clear your throat, giving a quick nod before you push your things into your bag with her help.

“Fuck…sorry…I…um…” you struggle to speak, adjusting your bag on your shoulders as you watch the girl step back with a soft smile.

“No worries, you alright?” She questions, neck craning down a bit to get a good look at you, her own big green eyes staring into yours, making it hard to breath.

God, this was going to be much harder than you thought.

You inhaled deeply, opening your mouth to speak before closing it, looking down at the sweet rolls in your hand before outstretching your arm to hand one to her.

“I bought this for you…I figured you hadn’t eaten yet so…” you mumble out softly, watching as she stared at you for a moment before looking down at the perfectly packaged baked good in your hand.

Her heart warming at the mere thought of you thinking of her in that way.

She smiles softly before she nods, placing her hand on the small of your back as she began guiding you out of the small strip of stands.

“So sweet of you…c’mon, there’s some places to sit right up this way” she suggests, giving you a small reassuring smile as she leads you there.

Somehow it seems perfect. The sun, the birds chirping, the little shady spot that Ellie leads you over to, covered by the biggest tree with the prettiest flowers slowly drifting down from above. It’s truly something out of a dream….

It made you wish this was all a dream.

You let out a soft sigh as you sit opposite of Ellie on the wooden bench, your fingers toying with the paper the pastry in front of you is wrapped in. Ellie frowns as she watches you closely, knowing the expression far too well. She could see just how much you were in your own head, how the events you two shared prior lingered in your mind, making it hard to focus on anything.

You couldn’t even look at her, and she hated that.

She inhaled deeply before she reached a hand out, gently placing it atop yours.

“I hope you didn’t bring me out here to apologize…because you don’t have to�� her words are soft, and sweet, and it makes your throat get tight because she shouldn’t be so kind to you after what you did, after the way you treated her.

You don’t respond, so she takes the opportunity to keep talking.

“I get that things are probably hard…and I shouldn’t even have kissed you that night…so I’m sorry” she tries again, and you scoff softly before shaking your head.

“Don’t…don’t apologize” you mumble out before you inhale deeply, finally looking up, only not at her, at the scenery around you both.

“I caught her in our bed, with some girl she worked with” you mumble out softly, fingers mindlessly running along the rough surface of the wooden table.

“I probably should have seen it coming….but I think I wanted things to work out so badly that I just ignored it” you shrug slightly as you explain before you finally look over at Ellie, who’s already staring intently as she listens to you.

“Ellie I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, or to think that I’m using my divorce as an excuse for what I did, for what happened between us….but I just need you to know that I’m hurting, and it’s just….hard for me to open myself up to something like that again after what happened” your voice breaks as your emotions threaten to give you away, chin wobbling as tears pool in your eyes.

But you don’t let them flow free. You don’t want to cry anymore, not over this.

“I…I just need time….” You silently beg, beg for her to understand what it is you’re going through, what it is you’re experiencing.

It scares you when she doesn’t answer right away, her green eyes scanning your face as she takes it all in. It’s a lot, and you know that, but there’s a tiny part of you that begs for Ellie to do what she does best, which is tell you exactly what you need to hear.

She blinks a few times before giving you a nod, paired with a soft smile. “You don’t even have to ask….you know I’d understand no matter what”

You inhale deeply as you watch her, her gentle eyes, her soft smile telling you that all would be fine. It make your stomach churn because you feel like you don’t deserve it, you feel like she deserves so much more than what you’re giving her.

You two haven’t even addressed what actually happened that night.

There’s nothing more to do than to simply smile back at her. It’s weak, and it isn’t much, but it’s all you can mange right now.

Ellie smiles softly at you before she looks down at the rolls in front of you both. “As good of a baker that Mary Beth is….i think we need some real food” Ellie hums out softly before she swings her leg over the bench to get up, nodding her head towards a small diner nearby.

“Come on. Let’s get something to eat” she suggests, holding her hand out for yours.

She notices the way your eyes linger on her calloused hand, unsure of whether or not you should take it, unsure of what signals it would send if you did.

You were unsure of everything. Unsure of Ellie, yourself, your own feelings. Nothing felt solid enough to trust, and you hated that someone like Ellie could make you feel that way, even though you knew that it wasn’t her that was making you feel that way, but rather what happened to you instead.

She can see it, she can see right through you and for a moment her frown mimics yours before she it turns into a soft smile.

“As friends” she affirms gently.

She sees a flash of something ripple through your eyes at this when you finally look up at her, something she doesn’t want to read too much into, something that she knows she can’t dive into for your own comfort, and perhaps even hers too.

A moment passes before you crack a weak smile, placing your hand into hers before you nod. “Yeah…as friends” you manage to make out weakly before grabbing the things off the table, shoving them into your bag and leaning into Ellie’s warmth as she guides you to the diner.

Ignoring the bitter taste left on your tongue at the way Ellie assured you that she was your friend, and nothing more.

Your mind was in absolute shambles.

It had been a few weeks since the farmers market with Ellie, and truthfully all had been well between the two of you. You both ate together, talked, laughed, you were even able to talk about your divorce, explaining to Ellie how you felt, what it had done to you, and she listened to it all, nodding along to your words, giving you the advice you didn’t want to hear, but very much needed. For a moment it was easy to forget all about the tension that had settled between you both, the thoughts that plagued you were finally silenced as you allowed yourself to just simply be.

That was until you got home.

The second you were in your bedroom, lying there, staring up at the ceiling, memories of that night began to flood into your mind. You could feel it all so clearly, Ellie’s hands on your body, her lips pressed against your mouth, gasping for air, her tongue sliding against your own. Her words echoed throughout your mind, desperate pants and moans of how she needed you, of how you needed her.

You couldn’t sleep a wink.

It felt as though you hadn’t even talked to her, as if things hadn’t glossed over to where they were okay, a point where things were fine between you both. They were, but the feelings you had were still there. You thought that if you had at least talked to Ellie, explained to her what you were feeling, it would give you a head start on where to go with sorting out your own feelings.

None of that ever came.

Your body yearned for a moment of peace from the issues at hand, you wanted to feel the same way you felt when you were sat at the diner with Ellie, her laugh and her sparkling smile distracting you from the things you were feeling.

But you knew you couldn’t turn to her for a distraction, you couldn’t use her to occupy your mind from facing things that you’d much rather ignore. That wasn’t fair to her and it would only hurt you further in the long run, lengthen the grieving process of the death of your marriage.

You couldn’t do that to Ellie.

You could however, go somewhere that you knew would clear your mind the moment you were there.

The low hum of your car engine shuts off as you pull up to the familiar clearing, a gentle smile on your face as you can already hear the gentle stream of the water the moment you’re stepping out of the car.

The old creek was one everyone in your town treasured, a tiny glimpse of paradise in the confides of your backyard. It was where all the seniors would go for senior skip day, and where families would visit to spend the day with their children. If there was any place that the people of your town would be during the summertime, it would be the creek.

And rightfully so, the waters sparkled like nothing you’d ever seen before, the shady trees hiding the spot away like a secret that belonged to you and only you. You had many fond memories of the place, ones with your family, your siblings, your old friends from school.

Ellie.

You and her would visit the spot any chance you got, diving into the cold water the moment you were there. You could recall the moment you two first found out, thinking it was a secret only you two shared, just to find out your parents had been visiting when they were your age as well.

Regardless of the fact that it didn’t belong to you two, it felt like it. A small piece of the world that you and Ellie could call your own, sharing secrets there with one another, Ellie pushing you off the old swing tied up to one of the trees before she swung in soon after, diving in and holding you close to her chest as she promised you’d be together forever, for as long as you both lived.

The intensity that you both shared as teenagers often made you laugh. What a silly thing for two teenage girls to say who have barely experienced the world out there.

You let out a gentle sigh as you rugged off your denim shorts after setting your spot up. A small blanket settled down with your bag, your old camera and a few books, clearly having every intention of staying the entire day, swimming to your hearts content.

Once you’re stripped of your clothes, your body only clad in your old bathing suit, you waste no time in making your way down to the water, shivering slightly once your toes hit the cold water, wiggling them in the process.

You’re convinced swimming in the small body of water has to have some sort of mystical healing properties, because the moment you’re diving your head under, eyes examining the aquamarine world that is below the surface, your mind is clear. It makes you feel like you could live there, swimming amongst the different underwater caverns and the fish, creating a whole new world below as the little mermaid you always dreamed to be.

Your mother always told you she thought she’d given birth to a little fish when your father first took you swimming.

It’s so easy to lose track of time when you’re like this, floating around in the water, letting its coldness wrap you up and swallow you whole. It’s almost comforting how quiet it is, the only sounds being the gentle stream of the water, the wind rustling against the tree leaves and the frequent sound of the birds chirping to let you know that you weren’t alone, letting you know they were there with you.

You don’t even realize it but you’ve spent hours swimming about in the small pond, the grumbling in your stomach finally stops you for a moment to actually think about anything other than swimming, forcing you out to lay out onto your blanket and dry in the sun, occasionally popping the sweet berries into your mouth you’d brought from home.

The book you’ve brought with you also silences the outside world, allowing you to flip from page to page without thinking of anything but the regal characters that seemingly had much more to worry about than you. What a world it would be to wear uncomfortable dresses and attend balls in the hopes you’d find the perfect husband.

What would they think of your divorce?

It makes you snort to yourself, a gentle hum leaving your lips as you flip another page, unaware of the sudden sound of feet crunching against the grass slowly approaching you.

The high pitched sound of your name being called rips your attention away from your book, furrowing your eyebrows a bit as you cup your hand above your eyes to shield from the sun, trying to get a good look at who it was that was disturbing your peace.

“I didn’t think I’d be seein’ you here! What a surprise!” Lilac chirps out, her curly hair tied up into a perfectly styled bun, tight coils framing her face as she clutches her towel to her chest.

You hadn’t seen her since the night Ellie took you out to the Copper Cat a few weeks ago, the girl not lingering on your mind much as you had much bigger fish to fry. You were honestly a bit shocked that she’d even remembered your name.

You give her a gentle smile as you sit up, your legs folding to cross one another as you give her a small smile.

“Good to see you Lilac….going for a swim?” You ask her, watching as the girl takes the spot right next to yours, her blanket fitting perfectly up against your own as she gives you a confident nod.

“Mhm! It’s too hot…bless Ellie’s heart for sharin’ this place with me. Don’t know what I’d do without it” she chirps out as she tugs her own denim shorts off, leaning her in the cutest little bikini.

You know she doesn’t mean it in the way that it sounds, bragging about being introduced to the small clearing by your ex girlfriend, and you knew that it was only in due time that this place was mentioned to her by someone in your town, making sense that Ellie would do it first since that’s just the kind of girl Ellie was.

But there’s just something that tugs at your heart at the thought of it all. Ellie mentioning this place to her, the two of them coming down together, alone, Lilac adorned in another one of those adorable bikinis she had to show off to Ellie her gorgeous body as they play in the water together.

Something about Ellie sharing the spot you two shared with someone else that just rubbed you the wrong way.

You inhale deeply, trying to calm your nerves as you remember that this girl owes you nothing, Ellie owes you nothing and Lilac has been nothing but kind to you from the moment she met you.

Giving her a gentle smile as she settles down next to you, you nod. “It’s pretty great out here…I’m surprised it isn’t so packed. Seems we got lucky” you give her a nod before you sigh, turning your attention back to your book.

She smiles fondly as she watches you turn your attention back to your book, her neck craning down a bit to get a good look at the cover, gasping softly once she realized what it was you were reading.

“You read those too? I love them! I just finished the first two” she beams, a soft hum leaving your lips as you look up at the girl, raising your eyebrows at her comment.

“Really? Most people think they’re super corny” you pout softly as you turn the book over to look at the cliche cover, which only earns a firm head shake from Lilac.

“Honey I’m a hopeless romantic, I daydream more than I actually try talking to people” she giggles out softly, giving you a gentle shrug.

Her words make you chuckle softly, gently closing your book as you toss it to the side before sitting up to mirror her posture, crossing your legs as you suddenly give her your full attention.

“You’re a hopeless romantic? But…Lilac you’re gorgeous. I wouldn’t be shocked if you have every single guy here desperate to get a chance with you” you confess, which only makes her shake her head as she gives you a shy smile, gently shoving your knee.

“Don’t you dare! I’m awful at talking to people” she pouts out, her eyes dropping from her own as she stares down at the flowers on her blanket, delicate fingers tracing the patterns gently as she lets out a gentle sigh.

“If I’m being honest…it’s not the guys here that I want…” her words trail off softly, and it makes you pout softly as you eye the girl, seeing how whatever is on her mind is clearly bothering her, plaguing the girl just as much as what was on your mind.

You open your mouth to ask her about it, feeling bad about whatever she was going through, but she’s quick to shake her head and put on a bright smile once she looks back into your eyes. “But let’s not get into that! M’glad you’re here to join me today” she breaths out, her voice sweet and genuine as her eyes soften.

And it makes your heart rate finally slow down, seeing just how genuine the girl seemed, how happy she was to be there with you regardless of the fact that you were as good as a stranger to her than anything more.

You smile softly as you nod, leaning forward and placing your hand on hers, giving a gentle squeeze. “Don’t mention it, Lilac” you hum out softly.

If there was anything you didn’t expect to do today, it was to have made a new friend, especially one in Lilac. The two of you spent the entire day down at the creek, laughing together, swimming together. The more time you spent with her, the more you realized just how much in common the both of you had.

Being completely honest with yourself, she had more kindness in her pinky than anyone in the city ever did.

The sun has set, and the breeze blew against your warm skin as you leaned against your car, Lilac in front of you as she made yet another joke that had you throwing your head back as you let out a loud laugh.

“Stop I feel the same way! I always wondered what happened to him” you gasp out, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear as you lean back to shove your back into the passenger seat of your car. Lilac giggles softly as she nods, her arms crossed over her chest as she swatted away the mosquitos slowly began to swarm around you both.

“He’s still an idiot, some people never change I fear” she groaned out, a prominent pout on her perfect lips before she cocked her head to the side, smiling fondly at you.

“Ellie was right about you, you know? You really are somethin’ special” she breaths out, and it has your eyes going wide at the mention of the girl. It makes you realize that you hadn’t thought about her all day, not since Lilac had joined you.

It makes you wonder what other things Ellie had said about you.

You whine softly as you bring your hand forward to nudge her playfully. “Shut up….you’ll blow my head up” you warn the girl playfully before you sigh softly, looking over at the sun that was slowly bur surly setting, the once warm glow that casted onto you both disappearing.

“Ahh I should get going…we shouldn’t be on the roads too late” you breath out softly, turning towards the girl and giving her a small smile, only to see a sad one on her face.

You frown softly as you watch her, leaning forward and giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “Hey? You okay?” You ask gently, suddenly worried about the girls shift in her mood.

She lets out a gentle sigh before she looks down at her feet, kicking around the gravel below before she lets out a soft hum. “I know we don’t know each other well…but…I feel like you’ll be my only help with this” she admits to you, her eyes still casted downwards before you assure her with a soft voice. “Of course you can..” you mumble out softly.

She finally looks up at you, taking a deep inhale before she gives you a half smile. “I…think I like Ellie” she breaths out, as if she’d been keeping it held in for so long, as if finally telling you was letting a weight off of her shoulders.

Letting it off of hers and slamming it down onto yours.

You find it hard to breathe, because suddenly you’re shot back to the first night you met Lilac at the Copper Cat. Ellie’s hand on her waist, hers on Ellie’s arm as she whispers in her ear, the two of them matching one another far more than you felt you could’ve ever matched Ellie. You feel threatened, and it sets a fire off in your chest, and you feel like the world is crumbling around you as this beautiful girl admits her innocent feelings for your ex girlfriend.

When you don’t speak, she continues.

“And I just…you and her are so close, so I was hoping maybe you could give me some advice? Should I go for it? Do you…think she’d like me back?” She asks hopefully, twiddling with her fingers nervously as she watches you closely, awaiting your response.

You stare are her blankly, your body working on autopilot as you try to work your way through this. Seeing her that night felt like it might’ve all been in your head, especially when Ellie ran out after you and left the moment you were ready, but now this is all real. This is Lilac confirming that what you felt was real, and this was the reality of coming back to your hometown, more specifically your ex girlfriend.

And as you stand there, trying to figure out what the hell to say to this girl, you can only see someone doing the same thing that you’re doing. She’s a young girl, looking for love in this crazy fucked up world, and she’s unsure of herself. Someone as beautiful as her is unsure of herself and you could only wish that someone would have guided you when you were pursuing your ex wife, a third party bystander giving their advice and helping you through it all.

Because as much as it kills you? Ellie deserves love, and so does Lilac, and if they find it in one another, who the hell are you to take that away from them.

The both of them owe you nothing.

You inhale deeply before giving her a soft smile, nodding as you reach out to give her arm a gentle, assuring squeeze. “I think Ellie would be thrilled to be with someone like you, Lilac….you should go for it” you breath out genuinely, watching as the girls face lights up with joy with your confirmation, an excited squeal leaving her lips.

“I was hoping you’d say that! You’re an angel” she squeals, reaching forward and grabbing you up into her arms as she gives you a tight hug, swaying back and forth as she tucks her chin into your shoulder.

You can practically feel the happiness radiating off of her.

You smile softly as you nod, wrapping your hands around her as you hug her back before you hum. “You didn’t need me…you’ll be great on your own” you assure her before you pull away, giving her a reassuring nod.

She smiles brightly as she nods before she lets out a loud sigh. “Right…get home safe, alright? And text me! We can hang out sometime this week” she sings out as she gets into her car, giving you a wave as she begins pulling off.

And suddenly you’re left there all alone, with the newfound thoughts that are swirling about in your head. You know already that you won’t be able to sleep, not with the mental image of the two of them dancing around in your mind, forcing you to face reality, face the facts that time moves on with or without you.

But you were tired of being left behind, you were tired of being the last one to know things, the one broken heart in a sea of mended ones.

Driving off in your car from the creek gives you time to think, the cool breeze kissing your skin, pushing your hair back as the radio plays your favorite songs, creating somewhat of a perfect scenario to think things over rather than running from them.

While it all hurts, you know that there’s no use in standing in the way of Lilac or Ellie or whoever for that matter. Life would continue moving, and in that meant new love would be found, for both you and Ellie, it just felt like that wouldn’t happen for you in the moment, even if you knew it would.

But you were going to move on from this. And you were going to be fine, no matter how long it took for you to catch up with the tracks of life that seemingly always got the best of you.

There’s something therapeutic about hanging up the laundry on the old clothes line in your backyard.

You used to make fun of your mom all the time when she did it, telling her that there was a perfectly good dryer inside that would take less than half the time to dry the clothes than they did outside, not to mention less work when it came to picking them in.

However as you’ve grown older, there’s something so simple about walking outside with your basket on your hip, the gentle smell of detergent blowing into your direction as you pin up several articles of clothing, your white sheets, anything that you’ve washed, that tickles your brain in the best ways.

That, and the fact that these days you’ll take any task to fill your brain with thoughts other than Ellie or your ex wife.

Things had been fine. You spoke to Ellie here and there, dropped dinner off at Joel’s house that you knew he made sure she got some of whenever you made extra, you even made time for Lilac within the week as well. You’d picked up a small job in town as well, working at the cashier of a small floral shop that had been in town from you could remember.

So although your mind drifted to places you didn’t often like, life was fine. Life was slow, and life was good.

Lilac constantly gushed to you about Ellie, talking about all the progress they’d been making, asking your opinion on the girls behavior, which you always tried your best to help with. Although the strange thing about it all, was you heard nothing from Ellie about the situation. She didn’t mention anything about Lilac, not even when you brought it up.

It wasn’t long until you began distancing yourself from the both of them, knowing how hard it would be once they became official and you had to live life in a world where they were together.

Because although you were doing okay, the wound was still fresh, and you had to keep your peace.

You hummed a gentle tune softly as you continued hanging up your linen on the line, enjoying the feeling of the cool summer breeze against your skin, the dandelions dancing along through the air as they became loose from their stems.

The sound of your fence creaking open cuts right into your thoughts of housework, forcing you to turn around as you hang up another one of your sleep shirts, a soft smile on your lips when you catch sight of the familiar tall brunette walking into your backyard, both her hands shoved into the pockets of her denim jeans.

“Ellie…didn’t think you were coming over” you sigh out softly as you clip the end of your shirt up, continuing to hang up your clothes regardless of her being there.

“Was in the neighborhood….I thought I’d stop by” she breaths out, eyes taking in your form as you continue with your chore.

Her voice seems like something is bothering her, and you catch onto it the second she utters her first syllable. You know already why she’s here, to question you about your sudden absence, wondering if things were okay with you or not, worry clear in her tone.

“You…haven’t been around lately” she mumbles out, that same worried tone laced throughout her words.

It was just as you suspected.

You frown, thanking the task of laundry that hides your expression from her. It’s so much easier to lie to Ellie whenever you’re not looking into her eyes.

“Oh…I’ve just been uh…dealing with some stuff” you’re quick with the excuse, clearing your throat before you turn around to give her a soft smile. “I’m fine…honest�� you give her your best attempt at a reassuring nod before you turn back to your laundry.

You have to turn away from her quickly, because you can see from the small glimpses you get of her that she’s frowning, and her brows are furrowed together with something that’s bothering her.

You hope she’ll leave after you tell her you’re fine.

But she doesn’t. You don’t hear her respond to your words, or even turn around silently to go about her day. You hear nothing behind you, only the sound of your white sheets wafting through the wind, drying on the line before you.

You frown when you look down to see your basket is empty, and the task of pinning up your clothes is no longer present to hide you away from Ellie.

So you need to get rid of her.

You inhale deeply, picking up the old basket and placing it on your hip, putting your most believable smile on your face before turning around, finally locking eyes onto the girl to see something that makes your heart sink.

It looks like she hasn’t slept, prominent bags under her pretty eyes, pouty pink lips chapped, most likely picked and bit at out of anxiety, a bad habit you knew she had whenever something was bothering her. Your heart tugs at the image, wanting nothing more than to pull the girl down into a hug, consoling her and telling her that whatever was bothering her, would be fine.

But you can’t. Because things aren’t the same anymore.

You inhale deeply before you nod your head towards your back door. “Well…I have lots to do inside…more house work…dinner” you explain, trying your best to hint at Ellie leaving without having to say so.

“Did I do something wrong?” She finally makes out, her words a clear plea to understand the situation rather than a half mumble that she’d rather not say.

It makes you furrow your eyebrows, watching the girl with a confused look as you try to understand her.

“Wrong? Ellie…I’ve barely seen you. What could you have possibly done wrong?” You try, confused of the sudden outburst from the girl.

Her eyes are stormy, hazy and hard to read. Her brows are knit as she looks down at the floor before looking back into your eyes, a prominent frown on her face.

“Why would you tell Lilac that there’s something worth looking for between her and I…why would you…” her words trail off, as if she wants to say more, as if she wants to persist with knowing why you would have done such a thing.

And soon it all starts making sense.

You wish Lilac wouldn’t have said anything. You wish she wouldn’t have told Ellie that you were the one that told her to go for it, even if she was the one that asked in the first place. You wish she would have just pursued Ellie without any mention of you, because was that even necessary? You know she must have done it to gush about you even further, the girl becoming enamored with you from the moment she saw you, and even more so once you two became closer.

But for the love of god…did she really have to tell Ellie that you were the one to tell her to go for it?

You open your mouth to speak before you sigh softly, your hands squeezing the handles of your clothes basket before you speak. “I….she spent the day down at the creek with me and when we were about to leave she told me she liked you…and she asked me if I thought she should pursue you” you explain with a shrug of your shoulders, which only makes Ellie scoff in disbelief.

“And you told her that was a good idea?” She argues back, as if it were the dumbest thing you could have ever done. She says it as if it were common knowledge to tell the girl other wise, you raise your eyebrows when she says this.

“Yeah? Why not? Lilac is…she’s fucking gorgeous Ellie. Anyone would be lucky to have her, and you should be happy I put you on with someone as great as her” you mumble out as you slip past the girl, clearly done with Ellie and this conversation as you walked up the wooden steps leading to your back door.

But Ellie isn’t finished with you, because she’s quick to follow behind, closing the door behind you as you make your way into your laundry room to set your basket down, your hands going to your hips once you turn around to see the girls built figure standing in your doorway.

“Ellie come on…I have things to do…you need to go” you huff out as you slip past her once again, going off into your living room to start on the dried laundry that needed to be folded, hoping that the girl would simply drop it and leave.

“You know I understood you the night after the show, and I was more than willing to give you all of the space you need, but this feels like you’re playing some sick joke on me” she’s standing over you now, watching as you try to ignore her in favor of some pillow cases that needed folding.

“Is pushing me into the arms of someone else your solution? And ignoring me until I’ve forgotten all about it? Is that the plan? Is that seriously what you think it’ll take to get rid of me?” She tries again, her voice pleading with you at this point as she watches you ignore her.

But this time you done, your hands drop to your lap as you stare up at her in disbelief before you toss the pillow case to the side, standing up opposite of her.

“I never had a plan! Lilac asked me a question and I was honest with her. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t be happy with someone else” you explain to her before you finally feel as though you’ve had enough, a huff of annoyance filling the silent air as you round the couch to slip away into the kitchen.

Before you’re fully there, Ellie’s voice is echoing off the walls.

“But I can’t be happy with someone else!” She shouts out, her arms flailing up inti the air before dropping down to her side, the sound of her palms slapping against her jeans before she sighs.

You stop dead in your tracks when you hear that one, your back still turned to her.

“How could I possibly be happy with anyone else when you’re all I fucking think about….” Her voice is tired, and it’s almost as if she’s begging you for something, something you are not capable of, something you cannot give.

Begging for you.

“From moment we had our first kiss….to the moment I said goodbye to you before you left for the city…I’ve only ever wanted you” you can hear her getting closer, slowly making her way towards you as you stand there at the edge of your kitchen, frozen, silent, unable to say anything to her as she confesses these things to you.

“It’s pathetic, and I’ve tried to suck it up for your sake because I know….you’re going through a tough time after that moron did what she did….but I can’t fucking hide anymore” she breaths out, and it sounds the same exact way that Lilac sounded when she admitted to you that she had feelings for Ellie those nights ago.

Your back is still turned to her, and you know she’s right behind you because her smell fills up your lungs and makes your eyes roll to the back of your head as you try to fight all of it back, everything that you’ve done, all that you’ve worked through from the moment you got home to get to the point that you were at currently.

But you feel all of it break the moment Ellie’s strong hand grips your shoulder gently, sighing softly as she speaks.

“Look at me….please angel…” she begs, her skin wafting onto your neck as she tries her best to fight the urge to grab you right then and there and kiss you.

When you finally turn around, her heart breaks, because the whites of your eyes are red, and there are heavy tears pooling at the edge of your eyes, making them sparkle in the warm light of your kitchen, looking so beautiful yet so tragic all in the same time.

Her chest tightens as she leans in to cup your cheek, fighting back the urge to groan as she inhales deeply. “I can’t…I don’t wanna pretend like I’m not still in love-“ you’re quick to cut her off, your tears spilling out onto her cheeks the moment you hear the word.

“Don’t…don’t say it” you warn her with shaky words, struggling to even speak with the burning sensation in your throat.

You don’t think you could handle it, hearing those words fall from someone’s lips again, the fear rising the moment they hang from Ellie’s, flashbacks of you’re wife at the alter, promising you everything and more before she kissed you and whispered in your ear that she loved you.

It’s scary, and it makes you feel terrified of Ellie.

Before she can carry on even further, trying her best to convince you that her words are true, silently begging you to hear her out as her wide green eyes stare down into yours, you’re cutting her off.

“I told you already Ellie…I’m not….i can’t do this again. I can’t give myself to someone like I did with her” your voice trembles as you explain, her vision blurring with tears as you try your best to swallow them all back.

She licks her lips as she stares down at you before she shakes her head. “I get it….I get that you’re hurting from what happened, but I can’t keep going on without you knowing anymore….” She starts to explain, both of her hands coming up to cup either side of your face, forcing you to look up at her.

“I’ve….god I’ve longed for you from the moment you left after high school. There was not a day that went by where I did not think of you for even a few seconds. And I’m sorry for what happened, and I understand if I’m just a childhood fling for you, but I’d rather you tell me that then try to push someone else onto me to distract me from what I’ve felt all these years” she rambles on, nearly stumbling over her words as they all bubble up to the surface, overflowing and dragging you down with her.

You open your mouth for a moment before closing it, looking far too similar to a fish out of water as you try to find the words to say. What are you even supposed to say? Are you supposed to lie to her? Tell her that you haven’t felt the same way? But now it’s different and it hurts to even try to envision yourself in a relationship with someone let alone pursue them? Even when it’s Ellie?

Your Ellie?

She watches as you struggle to speak, her eyes searching yours for even a sliver of hope that this will work, that her confession will bring you to a point where you can both meet, where things can be okay again.

And if they can’t? She needs to hear you say it out loud.

“Tell me you don’t feel the same” she deadpans, hands dropping from your face as any hope she might have had slowly drains out, fizzling out of her system as she watches you simply stare up at her, a mere shell of the girl she once knew.

“Tell me you don’t love me, and I’ll never bring this up again. We can move on from this and we can be friends. I promise” she breaths out, feeling the air slowly leaving her lungs, making it hard to breathe.

You feel the exact same way. You feel like the world has stopped around you both as images of your life swirls around your head.

There’s images of your ex wife, taking the privilege of love from you, ripping your heart out of your chest and walking away with it the moment she decided to cheat on you. It hurts, and it burns and it feels like something you’ll never recover from, something that leaves a wound so deep, that it will never grow the familiar leathery skin that it’s supposed to, creating a scar that acts as merely a memory for what happened, for what you endured.

And then there’s something sweeter in the corner, so small that if you pay enough attention to the hurt in your heart, you don’t even notice it.

It’s memories of Ellie. Sharing your first kiss with her, going to prom with her, spending late nights with her in your bedroom talking about the future, spending time with one another that will leave sweet memories in your mind till the day you die. It’s soft, and it’s easy and it makes your insides flutter with excitement at the mere thought of her by your side.

As you’re looking over all these parts of you, standing in your kitchen with Ellie and staring up into her eyes, you make a remarkable discovery.

You realize that if you try hard enough, the pain that comes from what your ex wife did doesn’t hurt as bad, long as you’re focusing on the feeling that Ellie gives you.

Because when you’re with Ellie, you feel nothing but love.

You lick your own lips as you stare up at her, inhaling deeply before you shake your head, feeling your throat burn with tears before you speak.

“I can’t do that….” Your words trail off for a moment before your eyes drift down to her strong hands, missing the feeling of her skin pressed against yours.

You slowly reach forward to take her tattooed hand into yours, your fingers dancing along the intricate details of the leaves on her wrist before you interlock your fingers, finally looking up at her as your eyes well up with tears for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

“Because I….feel the same way” you breath out, watching as her sage colored eyes glimmer with happiness, a gentle sigh of relief leaving her lips as she quickly moves her hand to cup your face, her other reaching down to hold onto your waist, pulling you close to her body.

“Jesus…c’mere” she practically moans out before she smashes her lips against yours in a passionate, love filled kiss.

You giggle softly, your hands wrapping around her wrist as you waste no time in kissing her back, arms coming up to loosely wrap around her neck as you press your chest against hers, reveling in the feeling of her lips pressed against your own.

You hummed a gentle tune to yourself as you mixed up the pitcher of lemonade, far too deep in thought to pay the bustling party behind you any mind.

One of your favorite parts about the summer time was the cookouts. There was something about nearly the entire town coming together at someone’s house, enjoying the warm weather, the bright sun and good food, that made your heart burst with excitement.

You were just about ready to make your way to your backyard with the others, when you felt a firm hand sliding against your waist, smoothing down over the fabric of your flower sun dress and pulling you into their chest.

“Don’t you think we have enough drinks baby?” Ellie hums out softly, pressing her lips against the base of your neck, making you giggle softly as you lean into her.

“It’s almost 100 degrees outside, Ellie…I don’t think too many things to drink is even a possibility” you explain before you turn around in her arms, smiling softly at the firm as you wrap your arms around her neck, leaning in to press a kiss to the corner of her lips.

“Aren’t you supposed to be on the grill? You better not burn all that food I bought” you playfully pinch her shoulder, which only makes her groan softly.

“It’s too hotttt….wanna be inside with you” she whines out, resting her head against your shoulder as she gently sways with you in the kitchen.

You hum as you nod, your fingers toying with the short hair at the nape of her neck. “I know baby….but your father will be very upset if he doesn’t have at least one beer with you…come on pretty girl” you hum out to her softly, your hands sliding down to hold her around her middle before giving her a gentle pinch near her ribs, which makes her yelp out as she pulls away, a prominent pout on her sun burnt, freckled face.

“Fine…but come out with me” she huffs out, leaning in to give your forehead a kiss before she makes her way outside, making you giggle softly.

You sigh softly to yourself, placing the lemonade on a small tray paired with some already filled red solo cups, and a few empty ones on the side that you knew would be getting filled up shortly after you brought them out. You had to move slowly with how full they were, groaning softly to yourself as you tried your best to not let them fall as you tried making your way through the crowd of people in your home.

“Oh honey let me help you with that!” You hear Lilac chirp out as she quickly comes behind you, pressing her hands against your waist before taking the heavy pitcher off of the tray, making you sigh in relief once you saw the girl.

“There you are! I was starting to think you wouldn’t show…” you pout out, smiling softly as the girl leaned in to press a friendly kiss to your cheek, which you were quick to lean into as well.

She giggled softly as she groaned. “Did you know that this party of yours is causin’ traffic out there?? Everyone’s dying to come, I almost ran out with the rollers still in my hair” she explains, making you giggle softly as she opened up your back door for you.

After everything happened with you and Ellie, you were terrified of what would happen with Lilac. You felt like you’d robbed the girl of something she wanted without even trying, even after being the one to tell her to go for it! Even after Ellie assured you time and time again that Lilac was always one to get innocent crushes on everyone, and that she’d get over it in no time, you were still scared that you’d lose the girl as a friend after just making her one.

You were quickly proven wrong when you met her in town a few days after, texting her and letting her know you had something to tell her. Instead of her being upset about you and Ellie, Lilac was thrilled. She grabbed you and hugged you, and told you that she even wanted to celebrate with you and Ellie, explaining that her crush was as innocent as could be.

And before you could even realize, Lilac had become your best friend.

You giggle softly as the children practically jumped you once they saw the tall pitcher of ice cold lemonade, frantically grabbing the cups and chugging them down before running off to play in the sun.

Catching sight of Ellie with her father and a few of her coworkers makes your heart flutter, and you decide to fill up a few more cups of the cold drink as you make your way over to them, a soft smile on your face.

“Lemonade anyone?” You chirp out softly, all of them taking them gladly before Ellie slung her arm around your waist, pulling you into her side as she pressed a kiss to the side of your head, carrying on with her conversation.

You don’t miss the way Joel smiles fondly at the two of you over the edge of his cup.

And later that night, when everyone’s left and the house is cleaned up, you lay with Ellie in your bed, the cool breeze blowing in through your windows, your bedroom illuminated by the white light of the moon.

You’re tucked away into Ellie’s side, your thigh hooked over her body, one of her hands rubbing along your skin and massaging your leg, the other looped around your shoulder as you stare up at her lovingly, your hand dancing along her t shirt clad chest.

“Did you have fun today?” You question softly, which earns a gentle smile from the girl before she looks down at you, giving you a slight nod.

“The best time baby….haven’t seen so many people gathered around for a party in a long time…you did good angel” she breaths out before she leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek, which makes you smile warmly.

But the warmth doesn’t just settle in your cheeks.

A simple kiss from your girlfriend makes it travel down your body. It warms your throat, your chest, your stomach, traveling all the way down until it settles right in between your legs, making you clear your throat to bite back a whimper.

Ellie frowns softly when she notices this, pulling away to look down at you as she continues massaging your thigh. “Something wrong princess?” She questions, slight concern lacing her tone as she watches you with furrowed brows, her expression clear in the light of the moon.

When you and Ellie first started being romantic again, she promised you she’d take things slow. Your relationship only went far as kissing, a few gropes here and there, but nothing further than a steamy make out session that ended once Ellie tapped your thighs and forced you off of her lap, fearing that she was pushing you too far.

At first it was extremely considerate of her. It was true, intimacy was a bit hard for you at first, somehow thinking of your failed relationship every time you tried, blaming your self for not pleasing your wife enough.

But as time went on, those thoughts were virtually silenced. You didn’t even have the capacity to think of anything but Ellie when her tongue was down your throat, the feeling of her big hands on your body, and her toned thighs pressed between your legs.

So now…God…you needed her more than anything.

You were almost embarrassed to even say it, but it was getting to a point that anything Ellie did was setting you into a frenzy. Just today, her toned arms in here wife pleaser and her denim jeans made your head spin, and your panties cling to your needy core.

Her frown deepened when you didn’t answer, the girl turning over a bit to better face you before her hand came up to cup your cheek. “Baby? What’s the matter?” She questions once again.

You finally let out a soft sigh, eyes fluttering shut as you reach up to grab her wrist gently, keeping her close as you avoid looking into her eyes.

“I….need you Ellie…need you so bad” you sigh out softly, voice barely above a whisper.

Her frown only deepens further as she stares at you down in confusion. “Need me? But angel I’m right-“ her words are cut off when she feels your grip on her wrist tighten, and your thigh hikes up her body further, pressing your core against her side.

Her eyes widen in realization.

“Fuck…” she breaths out, watches as your eyes flutter open to stare into her own, yours filled with want and need as your other hand moves down to hold onto her exposed hip gently.

“Are you sure baby? We can…fuck…we don’t have to…” she struggles to get out, eyes glued to yours as she watches you.

You shake your head before you gently pry her hand from your face, bringing her fingers down to press against your lips before you sigh. “I’ve thought about you every day since I’ve left Ellie…of course I’m sure…” you sigh out softly before you open your mouth, taking her pointer and middle finger into your mouth as you slowly suck them in, moaning around them.

Ellie lets out a soft moan as she watches you, feeling her own clit pulse against her underwear as she quickly grows warm with a need similar to yours.

“That’s my girl…fuck….been needy huh?” She moans out, making you nod before you roll over to straddle her, her other hand coming down to grip your hip softly, massaging your skin through the fabric of her own t shirt draped over your body.

You let go of her fingers with a pop before you stare down at her, a soft smile on your face as you move down to press your lips against hers, wasting no time in pushing your tongue into her mouth.

The kiss is slow, and sensual and dirty and it’s everything you’ve wanted and needed since your divorce. It’s nothing like kissing your ex wife, but it’s everything like kissing Ellie. The noises she makes has your head spinning, and it forces you to roll your hips down onto her, which makes her moan even louder into your mouth.

“Fuck…want you to…wanna feel your pussy on mine baby…can you do that for me?” She questions out desperately, her hands roaming your body, pushing her t shirt up on your to reveal your tits.

Ellie had it all planned out. She wanted it to be romantic, she wanted to take things slow and show you just how much she loved you, just how serious she was about you. She wanted you to feel loved.

Oh did her plans not go as planned, but oh how you felt so fucking loved.

You nod eagerly, sitting up and tugging the t shirt off, tossing it somewhere in your room. Ellie moans loudly at the sight of you above her, hands reaching up and cupping either one of your boobs, pinching and rolling your nipples between her fingers.

Once she’s had her fun, you climb off of her for a moment, tugging off her panties, giving her time to tug her sleep shorts off as well, leaving you naked and her bottom half bare. She’s feverishly tugging you back onto her lap, allowing you to tug her t shirt off.

And the feeling of your bare chest pressed against hers makes you moan loudly, your lips coming down again to press a needy kiss to hers, filled with tongue and teeth as you both situate yourselves.

The moment comes quickly, your legs slotted between hers perfectly, pussy right on top of hers as she stares up at you with low, hazy eyes, strong hands gripping your thighs and your ass as you slowly began rolling your hips so that your throbbing clit bumps against hers, making the girl beneath you moan loudly as her back arches and her eyes flutter shut.

“F-fuck! Oh my….fuuuuckkkk…that’s it baby…fuck yourself down onto my pussy…oh my….ha-fuck” she moans out, voice going hoarse as her strong fingers press firmly into your skin, sure to leave marks in the morning.

Your moans mix with hers, paired with the sound of your sopping wet pussies sliding against one another, a symphony of erotic love making that has been a long time coming. It’s like the two of you let out every raw emotion that had been bottled up for all those years you spent apart, her longing, your hurt, it all mixes together to create something of a beautiful love song that belongs to the two of you, and no one else.

“Ellieee…fuck! Feels…feels so good..” you moan out, picking up the pace as you feel your orgasm growing closer and closer by the second, your bed creaking with every thrust of your hips.

Ellie can’t take it anymore, moving to sit up as she grips both of your hips, aiding you in riding her pussy faster before she gives you an encouraging nod. “Come on baby…cum with me, yeah?” She sighs out breathlessly, staring up into your eyes passionately as she feels her own orgasm growing closer.

You wrap your arms around her shoulders, keeping her closer as you moan and whine, eyebrows furrowing with pleasure as you struggle to make it there, struggle to not let the pleasure get the best of you.

Your heart feels like it’ll just burst.

“I…mmm…fuck….Ellie I love you…I love you so much…” you moan out, eyes fluttering shut as you feel right on the brink of your orgasm.

“That’s my fucking girl…I love you so much baby…more than you’ll ever know…” she moans out to you.

And suddenly, you see colors.

Your chest feels like you’ve been struck by lightening, struggling to even stay upright as your orgasm ripples through your body violently, your forehead resting against Ellie’s as your arousal mixes with hers, both of your orgasms so intense, so powerful, it feels like it’ll kill you both right then and there.

The come down is hard, because it’s almost sorrowful to no longer feel the amazing feeling that comes with making love to Ellie, but the feeling of her strong arms wrapping around your middle and keeping you close is almost better, her lips pressing against your collar bones and chest as you both breath hard, the room silent compared to the noise that once filled it.

She holds you there the entire time, whispering how much she loves you, promising you that she’ll give you everything you could ever want and need.

And while you’ve heard all of that before, just for it to end in shit….

You believe her, because this time? It’ll be different.

[desireangel]

Dark Cherry [3] | Aemond Targaryen

Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader

Summary: after months of a marriage that hardly harbours the passion that you'd dreamed about, you stumble across the reason for your husband's indifference and decide enough is enough. Aemond will learn just exactly what he's been missing out on.

Word Count: 6.9k

Warnings: MDNI 18+!! smut, angst!!!!!!, unedited, infidelity, revenge cheating, oral (m receiving), kinda slightttt dub con if you squint w/ Aegon x reader, Aemond is frustrating, so is reader tbh, slight deviation from canon? again, if you squint, soft!aemond if you also squint. But also---angry Aemond (rahhhhhh), tell me if I've missed any warnings!

Author's note: my APOLOGIES on the wait, y'all. Hopefully this scratches an itch!! it's 11PM here, which is the earliest I've ever posted a fic funnily enough. I also reallyyyyy appreciate the love on this series so far!!! Love you all. As always, please don't hesitate to comment or to interact or hmu in my inbox w/ me bc I LOVE yapping with you guys. Send in feedback or criticism (but like I'll cry if it's super mean) or some headcannons!! or even your best dad joke. Anyways, xoxo kisses!!! <3

Masterlist

Aemond Targaryen was an intelligent man. Yet for some reason, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had been acting as the realm’s largest imbecile. 

Time and time again, Aemond had let his ego and his pride run ahead of his brain, and had failed to think of the effect that his actions had on people other than himself. Sure, he cared for those who were important to him. His sister, his mother, his grandfather, Ser Cole, Aegon (although Aemond may not have realised it) and even to some extent his wife. 

He realised, perhaps too late, that you may as well be a stranger to him. And at one point, Aemond had truly believed that keeping whatever unlucky woman he was to wed at arms length would be for the best. 

The first time he met you was insignificant. It was as per tradition and formality. Aemond’s interactions up until the wedding was mainly with your family, despite the efforts you made to acquaint yourself with him properly. You were much more timid then, shyer than Aemond had expected from the to-be wife of a weaponised prince. But then again, he had only assumed that a Lady like his mother would have been chosen for him; confident, cunning and strong-headed. 

At the time he had begun to understand you better, Aemond had lost track of himself. A sort of descent into darkness where he went from a young prince to a man, eager to prove himself at whatever cost. Satisfied by the control he gained through fear, strength and reputation. Now that he had stopped to think about his marriage, after you had left him hard and desperate in his own bed, Aemond came to realise a few things. 

You were a purity among the wickedness and politics of the Red Keep. An inherently good person and a woman of grace, kindness and compassion. He had already noticed the dwindling of those traits brought on by your new life, confined to the walls of a fortress that was littered with deceit, distrust and gore. Aemond was a far darker entity than you–he had accepted this fact after the first true conversation you shared. 

Corrupting you was both tempting and terrifying. Aemond had always been loveless–deprived of the affection he craved and deserved but also clueless about how to give that affection. And while he wished he could learn how to right himself and how to quell the carelessness of his temperament and the destruction that was left in its wake, Aemond didn’t know how to. 

Perhaps it would come naturally. He was a lot more open to that notion now, despite the fact that most of him was convinced he was incapable of such change. 

Aemond regretted–something he didn’t feel often–how he had pushed you away. Even if he had not intended to. 

Because now, he was starting to see you as you were. A woman who had far more of an influence over his emotions than he realised–a woman who he had begun to crave the affections of in such an intensity that it only served to scare him away from you. At one stage, you had been another stranger among the walls of his home bound to him in nothing but title but, at some point throughout this ridiculous game that he had stupidly encouraged, Aemond had started to see you as his wife. 

The whore that he had let into his bed was not actually a whore. It was a woman Aemond had known–a witch whom he had shared the pleasures of his body with before the two of you had wed. Alys was always eager for him and once, he would have returned it with his own enthusiasm. Not anymore. She was simply an easier option. A whore would never sully the sanctity of his chambers. It wouldn’t have made a difference if he had been honest and told you that Alys was not from the Street of Silk. 

To anyone who came asking, including you, Aemond would first admit to taking a whore into his bed than a lowly witch.

He cursed himself for letting his honour fall so short that this is what it took for him to wake up. For him to have tainted his loyalty to you, to have let a woman whom he could barely get it up for shatter the confines of his marriage, for him to have been left unwound with a hard cock, his hand and only the scent of you on his thigh to release the tension that was driving him mad. 

Aemond wished he hadn’t been so short sighted. He would subject himself to whatever punishment he deserved should it be the burn of a whip against his back or the sickening ache of starvation if you were to demand it. 

All of a sudden, in the days that had passed since your encounter on his bed, Aemond found himself looking for you throughout his day. He hoped you’d cross each other in the halls, cursed the world for keeping him too busy to spend an afternoon with you in the gardens, sworn at the war that was raging for binding him to his duties and keeping you apart. 

So at the first opportunity he had to take time for himself and for the first time in your short marriage, Aemond had called upon you to join him for afternoon tea.You stared at the young servant who had been sent to retrieve you, half wondering if you had heard the boy incorrectly. Had he called you simply one moon ago, you would have dropped everything you were doing to meet your husband for tea with a grin and a skip in your step at the prospect of finally spending time with him on his own accord. 

But now? It both excited you and infuriated you. 

You gave the boy a soft smile, holding your reserve together when his face dropped at your refusal. “You may tell my husband that I am otherwise attended to for my tea.”

It wasn’t a lie. You had important plans for the afternoon with the other Targaryen son. 

The servant stood still for a moment. “Yes, my Lady.”

“The rest of my afternoon is already engaged with the King,” you purposefully added, a mixture of adrenaline and excitement beginning to simmer in your belly. “Tell him I will take tea with him another time.”

You were walking away from your chambers before the servant had turned to leave. A part of you felt bad for him. Anyone would be wary of delivering rejection to a prince. It felt as if you were sending him to his death in a way, knowing that the seemingly innocent excuse was balancing on a wire that was already frayed. If the young servant had known of your sly plan for revenge, he would have spoiled his breeches. 

There was a chance Aemond would catch on straight away. There was a chance that he would take a little longer. 

Either way, so long as he caught on, everything would unfold in your favor.

Aegon had been waiting for you, a mischievous smile on his lips at the sight of you eagerly rushing towards him. He was an immature and distracted King, and he was definitely not without his flaws, but he had never been bad to you. Sometimes, you even appreciated Aegon’s efforts to involve you in conversation or to pull a smile out of you when you had clearly been distressed. Nonetheless, he was still an infuriating cad and you had often considered giving in to violent urges at the way he treated Helaena. 

Helaena. 

A stab of guilt in your gut at the thought of her. Sure, she had confided in you on numerous occasions and you knew she felt little care for Aegon’s outwards ventures with women but you knew she was saddened by the state of her marriage. And here you were, as wretched as the whore that Aemond had bedded. It was no different; you were doing the same thing as her. Only it wasn’t your job; you weren’t doing it for the money. 

The satisfaction of bringing Aemond down to the same level he had brought you to was all the motivation you needed. It would be treading a thin line but it would be worth it. 

“I had wondered how long it would take you to find yourself in my chambers, Princess,” Aegon’s voice held that boyish shrill he had never grown out of. The way he had stepped aside to let you pass, eyes holding yours through his lashes as he dipped his head with a grin. “For a cup of tea, of course.”

Comparing Aegon’s chambers to Aemond’s was instinctual. It was brighter here, messier and there was an unkempt feel to the furniture despite the servant’s having kept things relatively put together. A King’s chambers, it was; grand and large and adorned with all sorts of artistry. Aemond’s chambers had held a darker tone; presumably because Aemond was sensitive to light on his blind eye and somehow even the glow of light from the lamps were deeper and warmer. 

You liked Aemond’s chambers better. 

“It has been overdue, Your Grace,” you weren’t sure of that. “Thank you for indulging me this afternoon. I wager a King such as yourself is no short of duties to tend to.” 

Aegon scoffed, pouring himself a cup of wine as he watched you take a seat at the small settee from the corner of his eye. “My family seems to be taking care of my duties on my behalf. I am a king in nought but title, you see.”

There was nothing you could say at his unbridled honesty. Aegon was different to most of the people who presided here in that way. He cared little to hide behind a facade of false indifference and stoicism. 

He fell to the cushion beside you, close enough so you could smell the drink he balanced in his hand. Aegon laid back lazily, resting on his elbows and watching you as you sat pin-straight and brought the piping tea to your lips. “‘Tis not a concern. I would much prefer to have more comely company than those clueless cunts who sit on my counsel.”

“I do not doubt that, Your Grace,” you coughed lightly, growing alarmingly aware of the fact that you hadn’t thought about how this was going to play out. There was absolutely nothing that you knew about seducing a king. No less, a king with Aegon’s track record. “I beli-”

“You have been different,” He cut you off. Swiftly pushing himself up so that his face was beside yours, breath tickling the strands of your hair that had fallen loose across your cheek. Aegon’s lips were gently turned up as his eyes traced every curve of your face. 

Swallowing thickly, you will yourself to meet his eye with confidence. The curiosity in his familiar violet eyes was paired with an immature lust and you wondered if he had any idea how easy it could be to use his forward thinking cock against him were you a woman of cunning ambitions. You didn’t miss how his gaze flickered across your throat and towards the curve of your chest. 

But something in the way that Aegon looked at you in that moment, like you were a woman of such beauty that he would risk whatever consequences were sent his way just to feel your touch sent a slither of saddened longing across your chest. Not even your husband had made you feel as if you were so captivating. 

It made the knowledge of how ever long you’d be alone with him far easier to stomach.

“I do not know of what you mean, Your Grace.”

Aegon laughed, bringing his face so close to yours that the point of his nose touched against your cheek. His hand fell to rest flat just above your belly, brazenly close to where your dress tucked underneath the curve of your breasts. 

“I know well when a Lady is not…” he dragged his nose across your soft skin, eyes carefully watching your reaction. “Sufficiently satisfied by her husband.”

Your breath hitched at how quickly Aegon had set his target. “If you mean to-”

“Does my dear brother forego his duties for the comfort of whores, perhaps?”

Pursing your lips, you gently turned your face so that your lips were centimetres away from his, Aegon’s fringe brushing across your forehead. There was a ringing in your ears, a nervousness about how you were so close to betraying your husband and how you were unsure that you could handle the fallout of what was definitely about to happen. Things are much different for women; infidelity and adultery would be grounds for far worse than simply an annulment. This world was not so kind to a lady who partakes in the same treachery as a lord.

Above all, you were conflicted.

“It seems my husband is no different to any other man who does not hunger for his wife.”

“I hunger for his wife,” Aegon all but moaned at the way your lips nudged closer to his. He cocked his head to the side and pressed his fingers into your flesh. “But I am no fool, my Lady. Aemond has always been the sole object of your gaze. You are here for more sinister reasons, I suspect.”

You blinked. Why did these Targaryen princes so often seem to be one step ahead?

It was a relief that he had not moved away from your closeness. In fact, Aegon leaned further into it. His smile never faltered and he waited patiently for you, watching as you thought of your next moves. There was a flush of embarrassment that prettied your skin and it was clear that your facade was close to crumbling. Aegon was not a man you desired in such a way. Merely a means to an end. 

So you sighed, resigning to the fact that being honest with Aegon would be best. 

“You are right,” you muttered. He shook with a silent laugh at your bravery and the way your chin remained turned up. “I-I believe you are aware of my intentions, Your Grace. Will you have me dragged back to Prince Aemond’s feet or will you allow my scheme?”

Aegon was in front of you in a matter of seconds, bending down so that he met your height as you stayed seated. “I would risk meeting the wrath of a man whose temperament and pride are unchained.”

“Teach me how to make it worth it then, my King,” you held strong in forcing the tremble out of your voice. You didn’t want to bed him entirely–absolutely not. Just what you had seen through the gap in Aemond’s door would be more than enough and there was a bubbling gratification in your stomach knowing that Aemond would not be able handle what he had so easily served out. 

His hand held the back of your neck and he jerked forward to catch your lips, grunting when you turned your head from him. You couldn’t kiss him. You weren’t interested in kissing him–only fulfilling the steady thrum of excitement at the need to both experience what you had been teased with and show your husband that he should be sorry. 

In fact, and you were loathsome to even rationalise it, you felt sick at the thought of kissing him. And you felt a little drop in your gut at the thought of taking him in any kind of way but it was different. Less frightening than kissing a man you were trying so hard to convince yourself was sexy enough.

There was no man for your body’s desires aside from Aemond Targaryen-–

A deep breath and you looked at Aegon through your lashes, bringing your fingers to feel the softness of his lips. “I do not want you to fuck me, Your Grace. But show me how I may give you pleasure with my mouth. And how a man can satisfy me with his.”

Aegon became excited at your use of such foul language, his hand remaining behind your neck as he straightened and guided you roughly to his hips, groaning as your hands instinctively found his thighs and moved upwards. He was painfully hard in his breeches–he had been since the first moment you looked at him with that stubborn intent and purpose. 

There was a strong urge to push him away but you fought through it. 

“I am sure your husband is already searching for his brazen little vixen,” Aegon watched as you breathed heavily, your chest heaving and your soft breasts pressing against the tightly laced corset of your dress. “And I am sure you wish for him to find us. Very cunning of you, I must say.” 

His touch didn’t pull that feeling from you. The feeling of Aemond’s touch that had made you feel as if you were floating in lava and drowning in a molten heat that could only be quelled by him. But it made your blood rush down, growing sensitive between your thighs at the prospect of pleasuring a man who openly lusted for you and had no care for hiding it. 

Aegon didn’t care for games that shattered your self-worth. He didn’t care to make you feel lesser than a whore for your curiosity of how it felt to have a man tremble from your mouth. All he wanted was to feed his appetite for you–the beautiful Lady who he had envied his brother for having to himself.

“I want to learn how to do it,” you whispered, melting into Aegon’s guidance as he hastily fiddled with the embellishments on his tunic to undo half of it and push the velvet fabric out of the way. The laced belt at his waist was discarded in seconds and you took little time to pull him out of the confines of his breeches. “So I can–so I can show him.”

There was a certain light headed nervousness that you felt when you realised that you don’t actually know how to do what you wished to. It seemed easy enough when you watched how that woman had given Aemond her mouth but now that you were faced with trying it out yourself, you worried how you would fare. Aegon triggered a natural response from you, one that you had learned was instinctual of human bodies, but you just could not find him desirable. 

Momentarily, you doubted you could find it in you to disregard your aversion to the King. An aversion that suddenly became more pressing an issue than it was merely seconds ago.

Aegon must have noticed your apprehension because he guided you forward, the hardened length of his cock brushing against your face. He was breathing heavily when he spoke. “Lick it. Use your tongue first and then-fuck, that’s right-” you hesitantly followed his instructions, dragging the tip of your tongue across the sides of him, gentle flicks down to the base and then a long stripe up to the top. It was an invigorating thrill when you felt him throb against your mouth. His hips jerked when you hesitantly wrapped your lips around him. 

It was slightly uncomfortable but it was not a bad feeling. Aegon tasted musky and salty, and a little bit sweaty. You took a moment to find the best way to stop your teeth from grazing against him and started to move along him, watching as he threw his head back, eyes shut tightly. 

The image of your husband stayed ingrained in your head. Would Aemond taste the same? Would he feel the same on your tongue? Would his cock react to you in such a way? Would you enjoy taking him in your mouth more than whatever this was?

Shamefully or not, you let yourself pretend that Aegon was not the man standing above you. That it was Aemond instead, enjoying what you were keen to give him and praising you for being so eager to taste him. 

You wished so hard that it was Aemond instead, that for a moment, when you gazed upwards it was him looking down at you with his hair falling perfectly and his eyepatch discarded. Alas, it was King Aegon, who revelled in staring at you with an amusement coupled with bliss that only felt belittling. 

It did set your body into a light rush of arousal but you couldn’t stop the doubts that flooded your mind. Were you dishonouring the sanctity of your body out of spite? Were you betraying the man you almost loved just to have a jab at him? Guilty tickles grew in your ribcage but you distracted yourself from it, focusing on the way that Aegon steered your movements. 

“Shit,” he hissed. Aegon’s hand found the back of your head and he adjusted your pace how he preferred. “Use your hand. What doesn’t fit–hold it.”

It became slightly easier once you found your rhythm, following each instruction that Aegon gave, drinking in the way his thigh trembled under your hand that rested against it, holding yourself stable as you hollowed your cheeks. Whatever you did, it almost came naturally and Aegon seemed to be enjoying it far more than you had expected. 

But it quickly became too much–Aegon started thrusting in a way that didn’t match your movements and you gagged, eyes burning at the ache of him hitting the top of your throat. You made a noise, pulling off and gasping for air, whining as he tugged your mouth back to him and chuckling. Lungs burning, you tried to meet whatever pace Aegon was moving at in an attempt to make things more comfortable. 

You reminded yourself of why you were here. The image of Aemond, head thrown back and groans slipping past his lips as he let that woman take him in his mouth. The image of Aemond, head buried between her legs, the skin on his chin glistening as he smirked at you while pleasure another woman. 

The feeling when your courtly acquaintances who you once thought of as friends would slyly belittle you for failing to give your husband an heir, belittling you because word of his infidelity had reached their gossiping mouths, belittling you because the Prince who they loathed you for having was hardly yours after all. The looks that they had given you, the way that they snickered and sneered at your failures as his wife. Whispers you had overheard from Lords alike; that for such a pretty thing, you must have been dreadfully dull in the ways of pleasure if Prince Aemond of all men had resorted to whores. 

That was how they all saw you; a failure. Because it was never a man’s fault but always his wife’s. 

You loathe to think that Aemond harboured the same thoughts. But you would show him how mistaken he was and make him feel what you had felt so that he would regret it all. 

“Fuck-” Aegon let out a drawn out groan as he pushed your head down, pushing himself as far down your throat as he could. You struggled to breath and you gagged twice but let him move you as he pleased, a satisfactory moan vibrating against his sensitive skin when he threw his head back and grumbled about spilling himself down your throat. 

It was a chaotic moment. 

The protest of the kingsguard through the wall and the bang of the door slamming open and you didn’t even need to turn and look. Aemond was seething, barely given the chance to put the pieces together before Aegon simultaneously groaned and laughed, the salty taste of his seed gliding past a sensitive part of your throat and pulling another gag from you as you yanked yourself away from Aegon. 

Everything seemed to pause for a moment. And despite the obnoxious laughter coming from the King as he tucked himself back into his breeches, the heavy breathing of your husband and your gasps for air, everything felt silent. 

Your blood ran hot at the way Aemond looked between you and Aegon. Nonetheless you met his eye, holding your chin up and wiping a bead of Aegon’s peak from your lip. 

It felt good. Watching as Aemond forced himself back into his stoic resolve; only bothering to subdue the way his eye filled with the same betrayal you still felt in your gut at the thought of the whore who had been on her knees for him in an almost identical way. 

Stoicism and slow, simmering, silent rage. 

The air around you turned hot enough to light a candle. Aemond’s presence alone had proven to be enough to send you spiralling from the heat he encased you in whenever he was in the same room but this? You were choking, sick to your stomach and doing your best to keep your knees from buckling at his intensity. 

Aemond heard Aegon ramble out some hideous insult, watched how you frowned at him and heard the echoes of his cackle. But the ringing in his ears overwhelmed it all and he had no clue what his brother had taunted him with before his fist met Aegon’s cheek with a loud crack.

He didn’t bother sparing his brother a second glance. Aemond was stood in front of you and despite his obvious anger, he pulled you up from where you were seated with a gentleness which had your mind reeling. 

There was a threat hidden in his voice. “Come with me. Now.”

Perhaps you had made a mistake. The gentle fury in Aemond was terrifying and even though you knew he would never raise a hand at you the way he thoughtlessly did at Aegon, there were so many ways that a Prince could ruin you. 

You felt a pit of regret now that it was over and the curtain of lust had lifted. It was easy to see how simple it is to get lost in the touch of another but it was easier to see how simple it is to avoid it. 

There was satisfaction. And you felt it simultaneously with the adrenaline of being caught and the doubts of your actions. Princes and Princesses and Kings and Queens were so unaware of their hypocrisy until it was spat back into their faces. 

Aemond would never in a million years have understood what he was doing to you if you had just been a submissive little wife and forgiven him. But now? Now he would know. And now things would be balanced and your desire to hurt him as he had done you has been fulfilled. And now you could see how this marriage would really stand against such tests.

And now, you may finally know whether Aemond truly did not care for you. Because if Aemond did not care for you–or even in part; love you–then he would not be hurt and he would not be feeling such betrayal.

Right now, as Aemond silently walked you towards his chambers, hands fisted, jaw clenched tightly and his gaze fixed ahead, you were fearful of how things would fare. As strong as you wished for your resolve to stay, Aemond’s disappointment was showing you a new weakness. And his words, you knew, if they were used as weapons then you would stand little chance against them. There was a heavy weight against your lower back where his hand sat, pushing you gently so that you glided through the halls faster. 

It wasn’t a long journey back to Aemond’s quarters. But it felt like hours to the Prince, the nausea in his gut silencing him the entire way. He felt like a child again, presented with a pig instead of a dragon, the shrill laughs of his cousins and his brother striking him with flashes of humiliation. 

Again and again and again, Aegon would do whatever he could to see Aemond crumble. Aegon would always take Aemond’s dignity, his honour, his crown. And now he just had to take his wife? 

Aemond shut the doors to his chambers roughly and you were quick to put some distance between the two of you. There was a hollow ball of guilt and fear that caught in your throat but you couldn’t deny the elation at the mixture of emotions in Aemond’s eye as he turned to face you. 

It was a reflection of how you had felt upon finding Aemond in bed with another. He would finally understand. 

Only Aemond was worlds away from the damned arousal you had felt and instead it was replaced with a youthful dread, a panic that you had never seen from him before now. 

There was hardly a moment for you to register the harshness of Aemond’s grip on your bicep as he pulled you toward the bowl that was kept by his bath, filled with clean water and accompanied by a tray of freshening oils. He lightly shoved you toward it as he let you go, unfazed by the sound of shock that you could not hold back. 

“Wash your mouth,” he spat. Although your back was to him, you could feel how he suppressed the extent of his rage as he was ever so good at doing. “And then we will talk.”

You bit your tongue and did as he said, wincing at the ice in his words and the angry strain of his voice. There was a lot that you wanted to say, to scream at him. He was angry–and to some extent he had every right to be–but how could Aemond have expected you to be okay with something that he clearly could not take on the chin?

But the way he had held you, the tone of his voice and the harshness in his glare had you wondering if revenge was worth whatever comes next. Because, amongst the whirlwind of fear and guilt and regret was gratification and fulfilment. 

The prickle of Aemond’s glare had disappeared before you were ready to dry your mouth with a towel. Quiet as ever, he had snuck away and by the time you had realised, the sound of the door shutting and the click of the lock had notified you of his absence. 

Aemond had locked you in. When you had swiftly tried to push the doors open, unaware of where you would go and truthfully not intending to leave in the first place, it didn’t budge. And when you called for the kingsguard who stood at the other side of the door, you went unanswered aside from a curt reply that he had been ordered not to let you leave. 

So you had resigned yourself to sitting atop Aemond’s bed rather than the seating arrangements scattered around the rest of the quarters. It smelled strongly of lavender, leather and Aemond’s very own scent–the one that always had you on the verge of drooling. But it only sent your nerves into overdrive, afraid that the consequences of your vengefulness, no matter how satisfying it was initially, may be too dire to recover from. 

The thought of whatever Aemond had planned for Aegon was not nice. You were correct in assuming that your tryst with Aegon would only cut your husband deeper because it was Aegon. The depth of whatever issues these brothers shared was far beyond you but you had only assumed that all second born princes would be affected in such a way. And Targaryen’s were full of complexities, each believing that they were better than everyone. Even their own siblings. 

Aegon had known that his younger brother would become nothing short of murderous. But he had never been a man to avoid even the slightest of temptations. Both the idea of indulging in you and inflaming the ever unresponsive Aemond were far more than slightly tempting. It would be worth the bloodied nose, the split lip and the sick that he’d spewed over his shoes when Aemond had returned to grace him with an inhumanly strong hit to his balls. Somehow, Aemond had made that act of violence seem like child’s play with the threats that he had rained down upon Aegon. 

King Aegon, who simply did not know when to keep his mouth shut and had all but asked for it with the way he taunted Aemond with a sentence he never had the chance to complete. “Seeing as you cannot satisfy even your own wife-”

He wasn’t there long. Aemond’s angry mind was racing and he couldn’t think past the red of his rage. But Aemond still knew better than to stay where he would surely commit a treason he would regret. 

Whatever fury Aemond had unleashed upon Aegon in the short time he was away had seemed to calm him down. He was still clearly angry when he stepped back into his quarters but there was a far less frightening storm brewing in his eye. 

At his return, you had stood from the bed. The air was sucked right out of the room when Aemond stood right in front of you, so close that you could count the creases in the leather of his eyepatch. There was a tense silence in which he stared at you, waiting for you to fold but you only held your head high and met his gaze stubbornly. 

Minutes had passed before Aemond spoke. His voice was far softer than you had expected and he seemed to have settled down a bit as he dragged his knuckles across your cheek, only to grip your chin so that you could not look away from him. Aemond held you tightly but not tight enough that it hurt.

“Enough of this,” It was an order, stern and unrelenting. “No more. This was a step too far-”

You scoffed in his face. “A step too far? Had you not done the same thing?”

Aemond had never in his life apologised for anything. He never felt sorry. And he never wished to admit to his mistakes. But here he was, face to face with the effects of one of the biggest mistakes he had made. If there were anything he could have done aside from apologise, he would have done it. But it was the only thing that would ease the mess of guilt that had arisen inside of him. For what he had done with the whore and for everything he hadn’t done for your marriage. 

“It was a mistake. If I could undo it, I would,” I’m sorry. “This was childish of you. Vengefulness is unbecoming.”

There was a beastly disgust that Aemond felt when he thought of another man even looking at you. The image of Aegon’s cock in your mouth, his seed leaking from your lips made him want to burn the entire realm to ashes. Aemond’s eye trailed along your jaw, to your neck and then down past your stomach. Did Aegon touch you where only he was to touch you?

Fuck treason. Aemond would feed Aegon to Vhagar if he had indulged in your body. 

“It is more than vengeance. You would not have understood what I felt. How I suffered because of you and your whore,” you tried your best to keep your voice stable. The lump in your throat and the tears that blurred your vision forced you to pull out of Aemond’s grip and turn your back to him. “You promised me you would never do that. You dishonoured me. You insulted me. You hurt me–Aemond, do you have any idea the things that they say about me?”

Aemond frowned and you could not see how he reached for you, only to drop his hand back to his side. “I–”

“That I am a failure. That I am-that I am so repulsive and so dull that you cannot even lay with me to produce an heir,” you couldn’t help the sob that escaped you. “And I saw what she was doing to you, what you were doing to her. I could never even have imagined the existence of such an act that had given you so much pleasure-”

“There was no true pleasure with her.” Aemond mumbled. Pathetically. 

Pathetic was exactly the word. Aemond may have been good with a sword, in a fight, with his dragon and when strategizing wars. But he was a pathetic husband–a pathetic partner, a pathetic lover. And he had the urge to take out his good eye for being so mindless and so ignorant. 

Hindsight was his worst enemy, it seemed. Because in hindsight, Aemond would have done everything differently, right from the moment you were introduced to him.

“Lie. It was clear, Aemond. They are all right, are they not?” You felt him step into you, his warm chest against your back. Leather and lavender and him. “I have failed. My womb is still empty. The last time you visited my bed was moons ago. I know you do not love me, my Prince, but I have love for you. Men are not the only ones who need intimacies of the body–I needed that and you have never given me anything. Yet you gave it to her. I wished to hurt you as you had hurt me.”

There were no words that Aemond could find. So he settled for shaking his head and watching you as you sat yourself down on the edge of his bed, staring down at your hands on your lap. You were so wrong in your perception of him but he couldn’t find the words to explain that. But Aemond decided in that moment that he would show you, one way or another. He hesitated before sitting beside you. 

You couldn’t meet his eye if you tried. It was as if your body was telling you to stop talking, that these thoughts were too painful to share, feelings too abstract and tender to put into words. 

“It is wretched, I know–to have turned to Aegon,” you felt him tense beside you and against your better judgement, you placed a hand on his thigh in an attempt to give him some comfort. “I wished to hurt you but I also wished to learn. I thought maybe if I knew how to-how to do things that would make you feel good so that maybe you would feel for me as I have for you. Aegon said he could show me. It is ridiculous, I understand that now.”

Aemond took your hand in his, the heat of your skin against his was fierce for such an insignificant action. He hated that it was easier for you to turn to Aegon than it was to turn to him. “I could have shown you. I can show you so much more. If only we had been honest with each other from the beginning.”

“I thought you do not want me.”

He sucked in a sharp breath. It would be less painful to drive his own dagger through his heart. “I crave for you, my love. I was just too stubborn to admit it and too afraid of what it means. And I did not know how to show you how badly I burn for you.”

The sight of tears had never fazed him until they were yours. Aemond was not particularly pious, he prayed simply because his mother had raised him to pray, but he would be on his knees every hour of every day if it meant that he could take these feelings away from you. If it meant that he could take it all back and start over. 

“I am sorry. No more of this,” you said. “No more seeking out the touch of anyone else in place of each other.”

“I will be a better husband,” Aemond stated, as if he were telling it to himself as much as he was to you. “I will try for our marriage and our duty. And for you.”

“Your promises haven’t proven to mean much to me. All is not forgiven just because we have talked,” You sighed, but gave him a weak smile, turning to look at him. 

He gazed down at you with determination, his jaw tight and his eye glistening with tears that wouldn’t fall. There was no attempt to push you away when you reached up to take off the leather that covered his bad eye. You wanted to see him as he was, even if only for a moment.

Gods, he was beautiful. 

As you stood you forced your smile to turn lighthearted as you teased him through your heavy hearts. “Jealousy motivates you well, my Prince. I shall remember that.”

Aemond hummed, mostly serious as his hands tightly grabbed your hips. “Do not jest like that. I will not be able to look at Aegon without dreaming of murdering him for defiling you how only I should. I cannot afford such treasonous fantasies.”

There was a silent threat in his words. Nonetheless, you leaned down to his ear, gasping gently at the harshness of his fingers squeezing the flesh of your hips. Just his hands on your body alone set you alight. 

“Perhaps my husband should leave the door to his bedchambers open tonight,” you let out a small laugh at the way that he pulled you to straddle his lap so suddenly, gently nipping the skin of his earlobe. You weren’t quite done messing with him. 

“Is that so?” He smiled and you thought that it made him all the more beautiful. 

“Yes,” you smirked, when he groaned frustratedly at your next words, softly throwing you onto the bed. “I may wish to show you exactly what I have learned.”

[bitchlessdino]

Sexy DK request time: He's tied to the bed and you do a strip show for him, he can't touch you, can only see your sexy af self, you can take this anywhere you like- Sam @dkakapizzaboy

Pairing: husband of mistress seokmin x fem married!reader Genre: angst, smut, slight fluff Word count:7.7k tags: insecure seokmin, mutual infidelity, unprotective sex, sub!seokmin, dom!reader, strip teases, male bondage, mention of fem oral, blow jobs, "ma'am" svt member!husband, let me know if I’m missing any! Summary: With the mutual understanding being cheated on, Seokmin finds solace in you, the beautiful stranger with ties to man that ruined his marriaged, Fortunately, light peeks out of the most inconvenient of circumstance. author note: still on hiatus but finally got this ok. sorry for teh wait sam my arch nemesis, thank you my darling wife @wongyuseokie for beta reading 💗

Tag: @shiningstar-byulxx @misssugarlips @tommolex @hoeforhao @goblinvern @dkakapizzaboy @junhui-recs @svtup @buffhoshi @meowmeowminnie @caratochan @lovebot4han @6969lilithcat @camisun93 @emmmui @toruro @jeonride @novalpha @nvmrljk @feat-sun @tinkerbell460 @aaniag @tacosandbitch @cottoncheol @embrace-themagic @seokgyuu

Unknown number: hi. you may not know me but my wife knows your husband and I think they’re having an affair.

You've stared at the message for hours on end and just about lost your mind with every letter of every word. You could practically recite it without a beat, the sound of glass shattering in the distance every time you’re met at the end.

You didn’t believe it at first—part of the reason being you don’t want to—but it would logically explain his recent changes. The late nights. The woman’s perfume. The infrequent time at home.

You feel numb.

Buried in a weighted blanket of deceit and betrayal, you wallow in the depths of your sheets until the words seep into the deepest dark abyss of your chest, squeezing your heart until it feels like it pops. A few more notifications followed the initial, going off at a nervous pace. The sender's agitation is abundantly clear.

You think to ignore it. You think to forget whatever you read and go about your married life as normal, but it gnaws at you. A violating parasite crawls around the wrinkles of your brain, biting, chewing, and consuming your perturbed consciousness. It leaks out of you in tears, sorrow, and a pervasive bodily ache.

Eventually, your hand finds your phone thrown to the ground and claims it in your vice grip before reading the incoming messages.

Unknown number: I read her messages

Unknown number: it’s been months it looks like

Unknown number: me and her have been married for less than a year

Unknown number: I won’t be too affected by this

Unknown number: I think

Unknown number: but are you ok?

No. No, you weren’t.

Unknown number: if it’s ok, I’d like you to meet with me. 

Unknown number: see the proof in person.

You know you'd be stupid to meet with a stranger you connected with through the phone. He could be a liar, murderer, stalker—you have no idea. However, if he's telling the honest truth, he'd be the only person right now who would understand your excruciating pain more than anyone else. He'd serve as proof that the life-sucking sensation coursing through your body is a sad reality, and facing that terrifies you.

However, reality manifests as a beautiful man. A beautiful man with a heart-shattering expression that makes you want to pick him up in the palms of your hands to tend to his invisible wounds.

You're perplexed. You weren’t sure if there was love that existed for you, but for him, love should’ve been guaranteed. He looks as if he deserves every star dedicated to him for every second he breathes. Every tear he shed. Every word he spoke. In another world, he’s someone’s muse, not someone’s victim of infidelity. Surely. Surely this was all some misunderstanding.

“Did you want that decaf?”

Your eyes flutter in his direction, registering the spoken words on his tongue. Sputter on your lips, you work the softness of your jaw in a gentle nod and swallow the words hitch down your throat. He splays a warm, but small smile, and gets up to head in the direction of the counter. His long, broad stature leans against the edge. His chest bellowing out of his diaphragm and out his lips, he softly mutters the drink orders to the cafe attendant.

Your eyes bat gently, observing him in slow motion, a coiling sensation in your gut. You exhale out of your nose in retreat, averting your gaze to your lap, jolting yourself out of the sudden fixation. You know you shouldn’t have been doing that. You have better self-control than that. Now was not the time for that.

His footsteps retreat toward you, and he settles your drink by your side of the table. Your eyes flit up at him, gaze descending as he modestly takes a seat across from you. His wide-toothed grin is polite but noticeably strained. "Thank you for meeting with me." His hands fiddle in his lap, visibly as disoriented as you are.

“I’m glad you texted me,” You respond cordially, “Those pictures were a hard pill to swallow…but I’m glad I saw them.”

He dryly chuckles, a solemn look of anguish etched on his face. "Yeah, I felt the same way."

Accepting the drink, you bring it against your lips. Despite being decaf, it proves as bitter as regular—an unexpected comfort, considering the usual presence of excess cream and sugar have felt overwhelming lately. The bitterness numbs your tongue, and you sense it traveling in a lump down your throat as you swallow.

"Sorry." His apology shakes you into clarity, his eyes quivering as they settle on you. "I'd seen photos of you—finding your husband, of course, because I didn't—um, okay. It's just strange to see you in front of me. Makes everything more..."

“Real,” You say, completing his sentence. “Yeah.”

His adam’s apple shifts in a nervous gulp. “How long were you together?”

“Five years. If you counted the last four,” you answer with a lingering chuckle. “I had an idea that’s what he was doing, but ideas are harmless until you’re true.”

“That’s—wow—impressive.”

You wave your hand dismissively. “Don’t. Considering the circumstances, it’s nothing to be proud about. If I had known earlier I would’ve shoved those papers in his face a long time ago.”

“But you’re so…strong. How do you get like that? After five years?”

You shrug, shrinking under his charged gaze, glistening in a sheen of genuine admiration. “Practice. If you stayed a little longer, you’d learn it too.”

“I don’t think I could’ve survived that.” 

“Well, you contacted the spouse of the man sleeping with your wife. That’s pretty fucking strong.”

He’s bashful again, rubbing the back of his neck as he avoids your eyes. All he can do is nod in response, not used to attention so warm and encouraging. So unlike Ami.

He discovers that you are far less deserving of betrayal than he had imagined. Your eloquent and poised conversations impress him, and the admirable lightness in your solemn tone adds to your appeal. From the moment he became aware of your existence, he felt compelled to meet you. While he initially rationalized it as a civic duty, there's an underlying motive that continues to fester in selfish desire, even when the topic of divorce is raised.

“Can we do this again?” he suggests timidly, hopeful you’ll agree. "Until the papers are final, at least. It’s kind of freeing talking about this with someone in the same shoes.”

Your lips softly curl up at the ends. “I’d like that.”

There's a substantial list of tasks to tackle before everything is finalized. You imagine how grueling it’d be to navigate through this by yourself and appreciate you weren’t alone on this. Recognizing that he's undergoing the same steps in grieving his failed union, it feels almost instinctive to join forces. Partners in divorce, each navigating the end of each of their own unhappy marriages. 

“Sorry, I just had to get something.”

You had come remarkably close, and the opportunity to accompany him home practically fell into your lap. Stepping into his space for the first time, you were immediately captivated by the photos adorning the walls, each one capturing her in a stunning, large white gown. In the enlarged picture on the wall, she radiates happiness, her joy undoubtedly amplified by standing next to Seokmin, who stands tall and sharp, his pride and happiness evident. As your eyes take in the scene, you find yourself amazed by the sheer elegance and warmth emanating from the photograph. A couple epitomizing love. So why—

“Found it,” he says, his fingers clutching the file between them. His gaze lands on your location, and as he registers the reason for your silence, he adds with a chuckle, “Oh, yeah. Ha-ha. That was really expensive.”

He approaches you with deliberate steps, both of you studying the wedding portrait together. "A thousand pictures, three hours editing, five hours of sifting through them, and a couple of grand later, this turned out to be the best one," he remarks. There's a hint of wry humor in his voice as he adds, "She jokes that it was the best thing to come out of this marriage. Now, I'm starting to wonder if it was a joke at all."

“Well, it’s so fucking amazing work. You look incredible.”

He acknowledges your sincerity. Naturally. It's a meticulously composed photo with thousand-dollar lighting, and makeup seamlessly blended into both of their skin. It was crafted to be admired, despite the evident imperfections concealed beneath the surface. Nonetheless, Seokmin's cheeks color at your commentary, a warmth palpable to the touch. "Thank you. Um, shall we?"

As you invest more time with him, the lingering question persists. Seokmin embodies perfection in every conceivable aspect, surpassing the qualities your husband ever possessed. The puzzle remains: Why? Why would his wife betray someone so genuinely kind and undeserving of such disloyalty? The enigma of her actions deepens with each passing moment spent in Seokmin's company.

Had you been in her shoes, you would grant him whatever he desires. The lengths you'd take to show your deep appreciation for him would extend endlessly, reaching far and lasting indefinitely. With complete faith, there wasn’t one damn rotten bone in his body, and he’s proven time and time he’s a sweetheart in and out. And although you were the one you were lucky enough to take his wife’s place, the least you could do is show him the courtesy of a friend. A friend who is cultivating feelings that start to transcend the simplicity of amicability.

“You know I can’t remember the last time I’ve had a home-cooked meal like this.”

“You’re welcome. I don’t feed my award-winning dish to just anyone.”

“It’s delicious. Like every bite filled with a mother’s hug. The best thing I ever put in my mouth.”

The way he says that tightens you in knots as you scrape off the remaining bit of your meal into the trash, letting the hot water from your faucet run down your plate. “A-an honor.”

You hear the scratch of his chair dragging on the floor as his padded feet approach you. “Let me help you with that.”

“You don’t need to—“

“You made dinner, let me in your humble abode, the least I can do as a guest.”

As your eyes follow the sequence of events, his long limbs gracefully extend over, prompting you to delicately set aside the dish with a self-assured smile. "You've done plenty. Let the host handle things."

He chuckles in disbelief. “Come on.”

“Stop it.” You giggle, splashing water at him.

He scoffs, splashing back. “You stop. Come on.”

“Seokmin!”

In a playful exchange, you engage in a subtle power struggle while fighting over the task. As he attempts to take control, you defy his dominance, completing the task before he can assert authority. Tension mounts as you press him against the counter, feeling the taut surface of his abdomen beneath your palm. A breathless moment ensues, and you slowly withdraw, leaving the air thick with anticipation.

You don’t notice the expression on Seokmin’s face when you unintentionally feel him up. The patter in his chest when it stroked down as you let go. The twitch in his pants when he notices your eyes are still glued to his body. He wishes he’d stop you from resisting, let you have him where you wanted. Move your body against him. 

But you're married, just like him. Albeit unhappily, but he must've confused trauma bonding for affection, lust, and longing. He wasn't actually falling for you; he's just lonely. Needy. Horny.

Seokmin just needs a good wank. A proper one with mood music and the lotion that smells like lavender or roses. All the romantic shit because that’s the type of guy he was. A romantic.

The challenge is doing it without your face popping in his head. 

For the longest time, he’d only thought of his wife. Although met through an arrangement via each other's parents, he thought he could love her, live with kids of their own, and live a happy life. For a moment he thought it was possible.

And then it came sex. Again and again, it would fail. And the smaller, the smaller he’d become. Like a shitty moldy piece of gum on the back of her shoe. Fuck it if she made him feel smaller than he should’ve. He knows he doesn't deserve it, and maybe it’s why your presence is so comforting. 

A breath of fresh air. A change of pace.

The attempt at forgetting your face with his hand around his cock becomes a failed one, spreading his failure all over his abdomen as he slumps in his chair. his nipples stand erect in the cool draft.

He feels the need to see you again, a necessary step in clearing his conscience.

“Seokmin!”

“Hey! Ready for apartment shopping?” 

“You bet. I just have one more thing to get in my bedroom. My wallet, it’s somewhere in there. Would you mind helping?”

“Oh yeah, sure. Uh…”

Entering the house, he allows the door to gently close, his footsteps echoing softly behind you. Observing the calm chaos of the room, he notices you tending to one side of your bedroom, and he contemplates, “In a drawer maybe?”

“Maybe? Just anywhere but—Wait, not there!”

He heeds your warning a second too late, pulling open a drawer revealing an array of toys too numerous to count—silicone, glass, plastic, and leather alike. The drawer houses an endless collection of items, all meticulously encased as if stored for display. One in particular catches his eye—a beautiful set of restraints that appear velvety soft to the touch. "Holy—"

Swiftly, you close the drawer, shielding its contents from prying eyes, and gently push him aside. “Hey! Don’t judge. He’s always been one buy these things, not like anything’s wrong with them. They were fun, at first at least.”

“I’m not judging, but backtrack. Ropes?”

Hesitancy singes the tip of your tongue. “He said silk ties slip off too easy to escape out of.” Your hand rests on your other wrist, reliving the memory somewhat fondly until it sinks down in your gut. “Rope leaves burns to remember how they felt. Like I said, they were fun. Until it became only what he wanted. Because it has always been what he wanted, and when I wouldn’t give it to him anymore, well…we all know how he handled that.”

“...Yeah I do.”

For the first time, a glimpse of sadness graces your expression in Seokmin’s presence, as if your relationship bears an unspoken sorrow. The furrow of your brows accentuates the subtle sighs and mild frown that follow. He yearns to soothe those features, wishing to impart a gentle reassurance, to convey it wasn't your fault if that was a concern. However, silence prevails as he observes you swiftly refocus on finding your missing item.

“Come on. Let’s keep looking.”

Complying with your request, Seokmin sifts through your belongings, eventually retrieving the misplaced wallet from beneath the bed. Announcing his discovery, you release a breath of relief and claim it back at your fingertips. He prizes the brief smile on your face before proceeding with the rest of today's plans.

The search for fortitude after it was all over went as well as expected, with most encounters with potential sellers assuming that you were looking for places with Seokmin, not just with Seokmin as each other's company. After the fifth apartment for sale, correcting them becomes less of an effort, and you find yourself momentarily forgetting that all of this is for your own distant, separate futures.

You arrive home, starved and parched from your scheming and Seokmin, ever the gentleman, playfully suggests that he takes charge of the evening’s dinner. You, as usual, politely resist, already taking the initiative a step before he could, following his lighthearted protests. Eventually, you compromise, allowing him the duty of gathering produce from the fridge and placing them on the kitchen island.

The absence of your spouse during these dinners has become a common occurrence, allowing his presence replaced by a string of repetitive excuses that you could only assume were to cover up his ongoing affair. It’d still leave a resonating ache in the pit of your stomach, but you’d be lying if you said the sensation hadn’t dulled since meeting Seokmin. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, you said it hurt.”

“What did?”

"The ropes—if that's okay to ask! I—" His cheek flushes into a furious red, and bashfully, the surface of his palm covers the lower half of his face. Chuckling anxiously to himself, a glimpse of regret becomes evident on his face. "You know what? Never mind."

“No, what? You can ask, it's ok.”

“It’s just. I’m just a little curious.”

“Yes?”

“Being tied down for you was…arousing?”

You softly giggle, “For a bit it did. That’s when I still had a bit of input.”

“When did that stop?”

“Maybe when he got frustrated. I became less willing to do it. I wanted to try other things and he wouldn’t budge either.”

“...Like what?”

“He was always the one in control,” You shrug, “Wanted to try it out for once. He felt insulted.”

“That’s stupid.”

“I know right.” You shake your head. “He was different since. And so was sex. The little we had anyway.”

“...Ami said I was a pussy.”

You pause in your movement, turning your head towards him, observing as his head drops past his shoulders.

“She said I wasn’t a real man. ‘Out of all the men I was arranged to marry, why was it the most pathetic one?’”

You meet eyes, recognizing quiet sorrow in them. “That’s not true.”

“It is. I could be stronger, I could be manlier.”

“You’re very manly, Seokmin,” you reassure.

“Really?”

“Of course you are.”

“...Even if I wondering what it’s like to have those ropes to tie me down? Am I still manly then?”

A surprised and nervous tone colors your words as you feel a response catch in your throat. "Are you serious?"

“Gravely,” he says without thinking. "But, you know, it's just a random thought—"

“Would you like to experience it for yourself?”

“Are you serious?”

“Gravely,” you imitate, grinning.

He gives a tentative nod, the blush now unhidden by his hands. "Okay."

Guiding him back to your bedroom, the soft glow of the lamp casts a warm ambiance. You open the drawer he inadvertently discovered earlier today, its contents revealing an array of intriguing items. With deliberate care, you extract the rope from its designated spot, feeling its smooth texture under your fingertips. The room holds a hushed anticipation as you methodically untangle the rope, each loop a dance of shadows and highlights. You observe Seokmin's gaze, noting the subtle shifts in his expression as he follows the intricate journey of each strand unfurling in the dim light.

A subtle fire charges the air, palpable in the way his breath catches and his eyes widen. There's a flicker of uncertainty in his expression, a nervous anticipation that surfaces as he watches the rope unfold. The gravity of the situation settles in, and you can sense his apprehension growing with each meticulous loop you release. It's as if the sight of the rope carries an unspoken weight, stirring a mixture of curiosity and anxiety in him.

“You look nervous.”

He takes a pronounced swallow, hand coming around his other wrist. “You’ve never done this before, right?”

“I've seen it enough times to mimic it.” You walk towards him cautiously, the subtle rustle of the rope in your hands. "Do you trust me?"

Hesitantly, he nods.

Obediently, he pins his wrists to one another, your fingertips coming around to loop around either one. As you secure the knot, you notice the subtle tension in his shoulders, curiosity playing across his features. The room is filled with a quiet intensity, broken only by the hushed sound of your movements.

"How’s that feel?" You ask, adjusting the knot.

"Kind of tight?"

"Oh, sorry–"

"No, don’t be. It’s interesting," He replies, fingers exploring the texture of the material.

"Interesting, like it feels good?"

"I think so, but…"

"But?"

He hesitated, her gaze shifting toward the window. "How different is it tied to something? Like a bed frame?"

“Pretty different. You have a bit of control with just your wrists tied. When it’s against something…like a bed frame…there’s none of it. You’re kind of helpless.”

“Helpless,” he echoes breathlessly.

“Is that something you want to try too?”

Silently, he nods, his eyes flickering with anticipation. As you start to untangle the ropes, you internally count your breaths, and then lead him to the bed. Your knee sinks into the soft cushion of the mattress, sensing Seokmin's deliberate movement as he gradually takes over the center. His eyes, wide and lucid, silently observe your actions. A concentrated, half-lidded scrutiny follows as you maneuver between his legs, your heart pounding in your chest. With determination, you reach for one wrist, swiftly pinning it to one corner.

As the rope winds its way around his wrist, a subtle shiver courses through him, betraying the nerves that have taken residence beneath his skin. His hands, once steady, now exhibit a discernible tremor, a physical manifestation of the anxious anticipation that tightens every muscle. Then it comes to his second wrist. Each loop seems to tighten the grip of uncertainty, and you can almost hear the accelerated beat of his heart as the binding becomes more tangible. The quiet room amplifies the rustle of the rope, echoing the unease that dances in his eyes, creating a palpable tension that hangs in the air. 

His eyes flutter at the pace of his heart, swallowing tension built in his throat, and a shallow breath escapes him. You limply part from your work, reluctant to meet his eyes, as yours bat erratically. Your lips part to speak, but all that escapes is a breathless awe, hardly forming an unsteady “T-there.”

You find yourself unable to avert your gaze, observing as he grapples with the situation. The sight of his struggle seems to compound his embarrassment, evident in his feeble attempts to break free—though it becomes apparent that success is an elusive feat, even with earnest effort.

The memory of your first time is what initially pops into your mind. You remember how anxious you felt–feeling your heart race even between your legs as if it were possible–yet elated to do something so different, and then the pleasure. The sensation of feeling everything at once. Sweat pilled on your skin humiliatingly, only your cries used to fight back. You haven’t thought positively about that experience until now, seeing it reflected onto Seokmin.

“They are really hard to get out of actually,” he chuckles defeatedly, but not so much so that doesn’t find himself enjoying the circumstance.

A nervous hum leaves your nose as you exhale, clenching the arousal between your legs cautiously. “Good now you know. So I guess—”

“I’m really helpless like this…can’t even get out of these on my own.” You perceive the audible constriction in his throat, a subtle indication that becomes evident as he articulates his words. Although unsteady, he isn’t scared. Something else flickers in his vision. Something that almost scares you.

Ultimately, you quietly acknowledge him with a mumble, reaching over to one side to undo your knots, but he stops you with a single word. With your hands trembling, your focus intensifies on the intricate task of trying to loosen the binds that restrain him. Your gaze remains fixed on the knots, avoiding direct eye contact, as the palpable tension in the room mirrors the shackles you’ve put yourselves in: his being physical, while yours are mental.

“Yeah,” you breathe out.

“You look at me differently now don’t you?”

You shake your head apprehensively, your grip tightening around the ropes, half-expecting them to bind you physically, yet realizing it's the thoughts swirling in your mind that truly threaten to restrain you. “Why do you say that?”

There’s a soft scoff that makes its way to your ears, registering his disbelief. “You can’t even meet my eyes…are you embarrassed?”

“No.”

“Then why can’t you look at me?” He asks poignantly.

“I’ve never been in this out position before.”

“In control?”

You take a moment to yourself to breathe, dropping your head, still gripping around the rope lethally. “Seokmin.”

“Look at me,” there’s a hint of a smile in his voice. “I’d feel less shameful if you do… what are you thinking?”

You raise your head and meet his eyes, a blend of vulnerability and determination flickering in your gaze. A myriad of words that could have been spoken in response swirl within you, yet each one remains submerged, reluctant to surface and make its presence known. The weight of unspoken sentiments lingers heavily, creating a palpable silence between you.

In the quiet intensity of the moment, his fingertips hand in the charges air, sifting to move between your digits and lock them together. The unspoken tension between you both transforms into something tangible, hanging in the air like a delicate thread, on the verge of snapping. As your eyes linger on one another, a mutual message is exchanged, and without a word, the distance closes. 

The kiss is gentle at first, before the heat of his tongue brushes against your bottom lip, softly pulling it towards him. Your lip lock only intensifies as your body presses against his, responding to the desperation that has woven its way through the conversation. The room, once filled with fervency, now holds the soft symphony of a connection finding its place.

As the moment stretches, you muster the strength to finally pull away, cognizant that the power to do so rests solely with you. A gentle reluctance permeates the atmosphere, tinting it with a subdued pink rather than the earlier flickering intensity of red, as you gradually draw back.

Your gazes linger for a fleeting moment, exchanging unspoken promises and silently acknowledging the connection that perhaps shouldn't have been forged. The room retains the echo of the shared intensity, leaving both of you contemplating the significance of what had just transpired.

You release yourself from his touch, the sensation lingering on your skin as your mind wanders, assessing the unfolding actions and the potential consequences. However, despite your attempt at detachment, his words persistently weave through the corridors of your thoughts, rendering any escape from their influence seemingly impossible. “You like being in control?”

You eventually nod.

“Act like it.”

“How?” You question, eyes searching for guidance.

“However you want?” 

You seize a fleeting moment, the world around you momentarily suspended, as you deliberate, attempting to release the grip of your inhibitions. The soft murmur of your surroundings becomes a distant echo, drowned out by the internal dialogue that unfolds as you grapple with the decision to unshackle yourself from the mental constraints that have held you captive. It's someone else's job now, not yours. After a thoughtful pause, you finally exhale, uttering a simple but profound, "Okay."

You press yourself against him, your knees locking him at his waist. “Just don’t go whining about it. Or do.” Your hand glides over his restrained wrist, fingering over the vein revealed from his uncuffed sleeve dropping to his forearm, as your other hand claims his face. Initially soft and cool, your touch carries an understated gentleness. Yet, beneath its surface lies a latent warmth that simmers on the skin, gradually intensifying like a path of hellfire. A burgeoning confidence unfolds in you like a delicate bud blossoming into a vibrant bloom. It unfolds gradually but with a definite determination, poised to flourish. “There’s not much else you can do anyway. Isn’t that how you like it?”

"Yes," he confesses, his lungs momentarily devoid of air, the admission hanging in the space like a weighty secret reluctantly released.

The corners of your lips gracefully curl upwards, imparting a subtle but undeniable sense of amusement or satisfaction. “To answer your question earlier, being tied down does still make you manly.” Your hand runs down the length of his arm, settling against the structure of his collarbone, closing the distance between your lips and his honey-glazed skin. "I believe the epitome of true masculinity is found in the act of surrender. It's about willingly placing oneself in a position of trust, embracing vulnerability with unwavering courage."

"Really," he challenges, doubt injecting a sharp edge into his words. "You think that highly of me? Even though you’re the one that can do whatever you want with me?”

“I do.”

You pull apart from him, distancing your bodies and sinking into the bed once you find its edge. You bat your eyes back at him slowly as your hand lands on the top of your chest, releasing a slow and steady breath. “It is simply your form of expression, and in return, I’ll show you mine.”

You fiddle with your buttons, exposing skin bit by bit. Your chest heaves and your legs shift to raise your upper body, anchored by your calves and ankles. Your blouse drops down your shoulders to leave your body, and your cladded breasts are what Seokmin gravitates to first.

Seokmin’s eyes ventured from your lines, the curves once hidden underneath the barrier of your clothes, now in plain sight like art mounted for display. He processes the fullness of your thighs as they drop against your hind legs, and he doesn’t hear the whimper that makes it past his contorted lips.

Hands gripping the sheets, you crawl in prowess towards him wide-eyed until you’re between his legs once again. “Nervous?”

He takes a gulp, his voice tight. “Not in the slightest.”

“Good.” Your fingers move similarly to before, now with your pants which have clung to your body since you’ve worn them. 

Seokmin doesn’t for a moment think of a thing as the fabric pulls over your thighs, skin revealing like the first appearance of colored television, nothing short of a visual marvel. He feels gutted, grappling with his restraints. As the sight of you draws near, the longing for your touch bolsters, and an undeniable compulsion surges within him. He barely manages to make out your name in timid haste.

“I’m curious what is like for you to touch my body. How’d you stroke my skin, or caress my legs,” You softly tease, pleased to see the effect you’ve made as he visibly clenched his abdomen. “but I wonder more what it's like for you unable to do a thing as I undress myself.”

"Devastating, truly," he remarks with a chuckle, the irony hanging heavier in the air than any spoken words could convey. “I never thought I’d despise being on the receiving end of a strip tease. Emphasis on tease.”

The pants hit the floor as you shrug them off, “Well, that’s the point of tying you up. You wondered what it was like.” You grinned impishly, “Can’t say you’re disappointed because you didn’t get what you wanted”

“Well, I wouldn’t. Though, I’d appreciate it if—“ Your itching hand grazes the top of his dress shirt, finding the top button and delicately allowing it to come apart. “—if. Ahem. Uh…”

“Yes?”

“I, uh…” he never does finish that sentence, too preoccupied with every button displaced, slowly revealing the tension of his bare torso. He shivers as a brisk draft ripples through his body, his shirt with its open flaps curtaining his taut body, flexing in suspense. “I lost my train of thought…”

You softly chortle as the tip of your nail travels down his concave valleys in interest. “I bet you did.”

Inescapably, you find yourself drawing closer with only a whisper of space between the two of you. Unseen, the sound of Seokmin’s belt unravels, and his eyes widen in shock—catching him off guard. You watch him hauntingly while your hands admire him in a way he’s never even dreamt of. 

You roll his erect nipples between your fingers. “Does it excite you? To get doted on? All the attention on you?”

He whimpers quietly, a sigh weakly following. “Yes.”

Your smile lifts up from one end, parting your lips curiously as you tighten your fingers. He winces with short bursts of gasps following and his legs writhe in place while his eyes gloss over in teary awe. “Like when I compliment you? Or when I’m teasing your pretty little parts?”

“Yes. Both.” You wrapped your lips on his bud, the front of your teeth grazing his sensitive skin, and you sucked in your breath. He emits the lightest, airiest of sighs and dips his lower torso into the bed. The rope's friction bit into his skin, undoubtedly causing a burning sensation, only further enticing him.

You softly scoff, leveling your face with him. Your hand glides soothingly over his cheek, cooled by sweat pilling on his forehead, now your inadvertent warmth contrasting against him. “I'm honestly surprised by you, Seokmin. If you wanted me to tie you up, you should’ve just said so. I’d easily comply.”

He nuzzles against your touch, the tip of his nose tracing the crevice of your palm. “I’m sorry.” 

You offer him a gentle, welcoming smile. “Don’t be. You’re under my care now.”

“…Am I?”

“Well, are you?”

He moans your name again, longing your hands against his body as you only caress his skin without so much an inkling of moving lower. “Please, that's all I want.”

“What is it you want then?” You grab his chin between your thumb and index. “Tell me everything.”

“Whatever you want to do with me.”

“And if I wanted to just play all evening?” You tested.

He nods back determined. “I’d let you.” 

“If I’d sit on your face?”

His breath cuts off in his throat, losing sanity over the potential of your arousal drowning him in bliss. “I’d make sure I’m a proper seat.”

“If I don’t let you cum?”

He clenches his fists, exhaling as you meet your knee with his crotch, where a tent pitched itself right in his trousers. It moves anxiously, already submerging himself in the power of your words. “I’d wait my turn. No matter how long it takes.”

“…And if I want to milk you dry.”

“I’d give you my lifeline…I’m yours.”

In that fleeting moment, the rest of the world dissolves into insignificance. You find yourself yielding to the warmth of his gaze, entranced by the cadence of his language and the resonance of his tone. Finally, you did just what was inevitable. 

As Seokmin is bare down to his skin, your hand travels down to the base of his shaft and glides up delicately to his tip. Your lips pressed generously against his collarbone, nipping at his smooth and flustered skin. Your thumb strokes over his veins, grip squeezing his girth, and inadvertently he whines out of his control.

“You’re teasing me…”

“Is that not what you wanted?” Your lips gradually trail down his chest, lowering to hover right over his length that stands mere inches away from your face. “Or are you wanting something more?”

“Of course, I want what you want. I’m s-sorry…”

The tip of his cock kisses against your lips and twitches upon contact. You feign innocence in his gaze and purse your lips. “I can’t help but think, you want me to wrap my lips around your cock. Stuff down my throat. Spill your hot cum inside me.”

“Please,” he moans.

You slot him between your lips and suck on his sensitivity. You hum his name, every syllable vibrating around his skin. He groans observing you, nearly thrusting into your mouth before you decide to slam down his thighs. “Mmh-Mhh, you know better than to do that.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeatedly mumbles, “You’re just so pretty there.”

“Though that may be, you chose to trust me, and now I need to trust you. Behave.”

He swallows apprehensively. “Yes, ma’am.”

“I’ll apprehend you if you don't. I have more than one set of ropes.”

Seokmin’s heart slightly twitches at that, but he decides to obey for now, hoping there’s another opportunity another day. He wouldn’t want to test his limits.

His cock has made its way between your lips once again, exploring deeper until you meet halfway down his length. With your free hand, you tend to his remaining size, feeling it pulse in your touch. His groans become the background music for his symphony of arousal, while the sensation of your hallowed cheeks tug against him.

You allow him to plunge deeper, wide eyes peering at him for his reaction, and you feel the impulsive thrust of his hips again. Only this time, you let him. You feel every inch consume you, lodged far down your airways, traveling at a needy–even desperate–pace. You shut your eyes, feeling your tears burn your skin. Ultimately, you pull out before he gets close, registering his pink cheeks and bite-swollen lips after regaining your sight. You cough away from him, catching your breath and the apology leaving Seokmin’s lips once again.

“I’m so sorry! Fuck! I–”

“I said I’d apprehend you, didn't I?”

You make good on your promise and another pair of ropes makes an appearance, pinning him at either corners of the bed and splaying him like a starfish, rendering him completely defenseless. 

He deserves this, he thought, unable to resist the inexplicable thrill that coursed through him. He’d struggle against the rope had it not been for the remainder of your strip show. The slow slip of your bra strap, the release of your clasp, baring you raw in your gorgeous glory. If he had his fists, he’d be biting them. Hell, if he had any control of his limbs, he’d worship you on the very floor you walk on, crushed under you the ball of your feet, and using his hands for your pleasure and your pleasure only.

Perhaps that’s why he could not help but be more aroused like a teenager discovering porn for the first time. That was the beauty of it. It was something Ami never understood. She wanted him to do it all: be the dominant partner all the time, be a one-and-done fucking machine. You are willing to explore things, even with him, and you didng make him feel small about it. He can’t help but feel eternally grateful it's with him.

He doesn’t want to admit it, but he had already fallen for you the moment his eyes laid on your photos. He couldn’t believe the sight you were nor the fact that you were on the receiving end of this distress. He knew he had to meet you. He just hadn’t factor in what it’d do to him when it happens.

Even as your legs border either of his side, he’s in disbelief. Your pretty cunt stares back at him in want, aching for his presence just as he aches to explore you. He can feel the drool make it past the corner of his lips as your heat radiates off you, just before letting his raw length part your walls.

A hearty moan escapes you, and all Seokmin can think of how sweet it sounds in company with the moisture of your arousal. Your knees dig into the mattress as you adjust to his size, hips naturally grinding against him before he fully is plunged inside. Drinking in his groans, you slightly fall forward and find your grip on the bedframe, not realizing how easy it is to claim Seokmin’s hands.

A smile tugs at your lips as you delicately weave your fingers through his. You rest your forehead against his, softly cooing back at him. “You’re being so good for me.”

“Anything for you," he responds, his voice filled with a tender, intimate sincerity.

“Mmh, Seokmin...”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Would you like the control of your hands again?”

His eyes flicker back at you, seeing the certainty in your eyes, before hesitatingly nodding. Carefully, you release him, gently soothing the red marks on either wrist. Pleadingly, he asks for your permission to touch you, and easily you oblige, taking his hands. You guide him where he may touch, letting them stroke up your sides. You softly sigh as you let him regain his power, letting it surge through him as he replenishes feeling in his arms.

He balls your flesh in fists, pushing deeper inside you as his tongue grows more possessive. You clench around him, hands accessing his body like free real estate, playing with all the amenities. “Are you that happy? Touching me like I’m yours?”

He throws his head back, assessing his grip on you to pull you forward, giving you a long awaited liplock. He rediscovers your plush tongue, retracing its pattern as he pushes you closer against him to the best of his abilities with his contradicted ankles. He claims you from your lower back, rolling his hips against you, as your furnace-hot body intoxicates him like a drug. “I’m elated. You make me so happy. You have no idea.”

Your exuberant sounds fold over one another, building the tension off your bodies until you’ve reach their highest form. Seokmin was the first to express it. Even before he mumbles how close he is, he’s embracing you tighter as his hot breath fans down your flustered body. To that, you say the first response that comes to mind. “Cum in me.”

“W-without a—“

You tense tighter around him, legs clutching around him desperately. “Cum inside me, Seokmin.”

You get what you want in the end. The streams of white warmth painting your inside are perfection. Like bursts of ribbons in a festive air, he releases a lingering sense of ecstasy. Falling against his chest, you count his pants by the heave of his chest, drifting off from fatigue. 

With the bit of energy you had left, you undo Seokmin’s knots, and rest comes easy, no matter how early into the night it still is. 

You don’t remember the last time you were held like this. You don’t know if you were held ever like this. His eyes, though weary, radiate a smile that mirrors the gentle curve of his lips. A hand slides behind your head, fingers gently stroking, and his soft sighs become a melodic comfort, conveying solace without the need for words. In his presence, a profound sense of peace envelops you, creating a reluctance to part from this moment of tranquility.

Dinner, once a fleeting moment before the spontaneous decision of sex, turns into a midnight meal, a meal draped in each other comfort. Seokmin effortlessly slips into your comforting pair of sweatpants, while you envelop yourself in his once-abandoned dress shirt, a tangible reminder of the intimacy shared. Together, you concoct a pot of instant ramen, opting for the simplicity of a quick meal rather than the meticulousness of a dish crafted from scratch.

“That smells delicious,” he compliments.

“Sorry, it couldn’t be better.”

His hands find a secure hold on your body, his head gently resting over your shoulder. "It's no bother at all. Plus, you've already worked up quite an appetite."

His kisses, soft against your temple, coincide with the casual embrace of his arms around your waist. Your curves seamlessly mold into the contours of his body, like two pieces naturally falling into place, creating a comforting bond between your bodies.

���Stil, you deserve better than ramen.”

“It’s Shin ramen. It's the best of its kind. I’m more than honored.”

“You’re silly…I like that.”

“Good. I like you. I’m glad that I got to meet you.” His words are accompanied by a gentle squeeze of your hand.

You grin. “Me too…but we can’t do that again.”

“Oh, well why not?”

"Well, for now." You playfully tap his nose with a chopstick. "Let's wait until everything is done. Until we’re both free again.”

He sighs, dejected at your request. “You’re right, but…”

He effortlessly lifts you from the ground and you drop your utensils on the ground. Abruptly, he settles you onto the kitchen counter. The coolness from the marble is chilling as the surface provides a sudden, invigorating contrast to your warm skin. Startled, your eyes flutter back at him, steadying yourself with hands resting on his shoulders. You succumb to the warmth in his eyes, a honeyed allure that wraps you in the comforting embrace of his touch.

“How do you expect me to live on without you in my arms? I’ll never know peace like it.” Seokmin's voice carries a warmth that wraps around you like a blanket, one that is not weighted with darkness and anxiety, but instead laden with love and good faith.

You respond by pulling him into a tight embrace, legs playfully anchoring around his torso. A smile graces your lips as you enjoy the closeness. “A test of faith. Then we can truly enjoy each other's company.”

“I’ll be counting the days then,” he says with a smile

You persist in meeting Seokmin, navigating the divorce process until you're on the verge of its completion. Ironically, amidst the dissolution's purpose, you sense the blossoming of a new connection amid the ruins of another.

“You didn’t have to take me home. You know how risky it is.”

He sighs, squeezing your hand in his, dreading the moment you have to leave. He has grown accustomed to your presence, and every night without you feels like a painful void in his heart, as he awaits the arrival of the following morning. "I can't wait until this is all over."

“Me too. I’ll see you tomorrow, and the day after and the day after—“

“Lord knows how we get any work done,” he giggles.

"I know, right." You let the moment linger a second longer before sharing a final embrace, stealing a kiss on his cheek as you slip away from his grasp. Through the tinted windows, you smile, aware of the blush you've ignited on his face.

Arriving home, the joy is dampened by the sight of familiar shoes. Suppressing your unease, you greet your husband with a forced smile, avoiding eye contact. "Mingyu? Honey? Is that you? No overtime tonight?

You're met with a stern expression and a decisive declaration. Devoid of warmth, he slams a stack of papers onto the kitchen counter–documents that have become all too familiar over these past few weeks.

“I want a divorce.”

[muzansfangs]

Guilty pleasure.

Starring: Muzan x reader; Kokushibo, Douma, Akaza and Nakime.

Warnings: nsfw, modern au, loss of virginity, language, sugar daddy dynamics, age gap (Muzan is 35, reader is 21), vaginal sex, reference to cheating, unprotected sex, creampie, dom!muzan, sub!reader, vaginal fingering, light choking.

Plot: Kokushibo comes to pick you up and he helps you with the move. During the car ride, Muzan texts you and blatantly tells you that he intends to have sex with you that very night. You spend the day exploring your new house, interacting with the other two bodyguards, until Muzan finally joins you for dinner. He seems genuinely interested in you and your habits and, when he leads you to his bedroom, you can clearly tell he is definitely invested into exploring every inch of your body.

AUTHOR NOTE.

Hello, there!

I’ve finally been able to update the second part of this short series. I hope you’re going to enjoy the reading and thank you so much for the support you’re showing me! Make sure to read the first part, before you proceed in reading this one. Things are finally getting started down here ;). Likes, comments and reposts are appreciated!

PART ONE| PART TWO| PART THREE| PART FOUR| PART FIVE | PART SIX

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CORRUPTION.

“How’s Mr. Kibutsuji?” you asked, shooting an interrogative glance at Kokushibo through the rear-view mirror of the car. Time had really flown and, before you could mentally prepare yourself to the radical change in your life, it was already Sunday and you had just locked the front door of your apartment, pestered by uncertainties about your new busy schedule and, most likely, new life-style.

“He is a respectful, classy man, miss L/N” the driver flatly replied, not averting his eyes from the road. It was your third failed attempt to make a small conversation with the stolid man, who was most likely going to be your bodyguard as well. You had had the chance to read all the clauses of the contract and it did not seem unpleasing. Except for your lack of privacy, due to being followed and watched in every step you took by a potential serial killer.

If you had to spend hours in Kokushibo’s company, then you would have liked to know him better, at least.

You sighed and rested your forehead against the cold car window “Yeah, I know. – you said, batting your eyes close for a few seconds – Do you think we could ever be friends? I mean, you’re going to be my shadow for the rest of my life. It’s weird and I… Uhm, well, I’d like to feel comfortable around you” you said, opting for a blatant request.

You were spontaneous, honest, and best known for speaking your thoughts without fear, or remorse. You would have surely not changed your attitude for a contract. Plus, it was not like you were rude. You liked to think yourself free to say and do whatever you pleased. Well, at least, when you were safe from prying eyes.

It took a few seconds for Kokushibo to reply something, but eventually he did and a skeptical “As you wish, ma’am” left his lips.

You rolled your eyes, palming your forehead in defeat. It was a lost cause, was it not? Nevertherless, it was your second time interacting with him. There was still a dim hope of breaking through his detached heart.

“Y/N, call me Y/N” you breathed out, expecting some kind of reaction from the taciturn bodyguard. However, he kept his mouth shut and you realised that, perhaps, Kokushibo was not just a man of few words: he probably found it odd that ‘the boss’s fiancé’ wanted to strike up a conversation with him.

You were about to pest him again with another sapless question, when your phone buzzed. You thought it was one of your friends, or maybe your collegues from the small restaurant you worked in. Some of them were heartbroken, when you announced them you had to resign for personal reasons. You could only imagine their faces, when they would have seen your face on the newspapers as Muzan’s wife.

You had still not filled up anyone with the fresh news, chiefly because you were not sure about the outcome of this arranged relationship.

However, when you read the text, you wheezed and clasped your hand over your mouth not to draw Kokushibo’s attention. Funny how you had acted as an attention seeker for fifteen minutes straight and now you were practically ducking your head down not to let him see your reflection in the rear-view mirror. Two words. He had opted for two mere words and your world had stopped revolving.

MUZAN: Sex. Tonight.

Your heart thrummed in your chest as you had to reread the text over and over again to check if you had read it correct. You had exchanged numbers before you left his house and you expected him to text you, at least, once or twice in the past few days. Yet, he had not called or even sent you a trivial message. Nothing. You did not quite expect him to demand a sexual performance from you, out of the blue. You were totally in, of course you were. Muzan Kibutsuji was handsome as Hell, you had always drooled after him, whenever the daily reports showed pictures and videos of him, especially during a conference.

You had accepted the terms of the contract without blinking. Having a sexual intercourse with him was a pleasing activity.

The thing was you were a virgin. Well, you had only experience with giving oral. That was the furthest you had gone with your ex. You knew that sooner or later it would have happened and you were electrified by the idea of giving yourself to him. He was a famous womanizer, unfortunately, but he was surely someone who had plenty of experience and knew how to treat a woman in bed.

“Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me…” you uttered under your breath, cheeks flushing up as you stared at the screen of your phone thunderstruck.

“What did you say, mi–… Y/N?” Kokushibo said, an ounce of concern and awkwardness echoing in his words. At the sound of your name leaving his lips, you squealed out in joy and almost forgot that fact that he had just heard you swearing. It did not matter anymore because he had just made progress, censuring himself even!

“Ah, yes! You got it, then! – you beamed, leaning forward until your chin almost rested over his shoulder – We’re going to be best buddies!” you said, watching how his hold on the steering wheel grew tighter. The tips of his ears were now tinted in a vivid shade of red and you chuckled, before sinking back onto your seat and texted a reply to Muzan.

You: I’d love that, Mr. Kibutsuji.

It did not take a lot for him to reply and, when he did, your breath hitched in your throat and you shoved your phone back into your bag.

Muzan: In a few hours, you’re going to forget how to properly sit for a week.

It was definitely going to be an unforgettable first day at the Kibutsuji manor.

♚

You expected to share the bedroom with Muzan. He had not mentioned that you could pick a guest room and sleep in there, until you felt comfortable enough to lay down next to him. You were taken aback, naturally, but you were glad he wanted you to settle down without any pressure. He was not imposing his authority on you, his presence in your life was not suffocating you… Yet.

He seemed a gentleman, but you barely knew him. What if things degenerated? You refused to believe it and all you focused on was the present and, as for now, he was not troubling you in any way.

Once you were finally done unpacking, Kokushibo told you he would have taken his leave to run an errand for Muzan and you were free to do whatever you pleased in the meanwhile.

“Wait, can I come with you? I… Well, I don’t want to be alone” you said, rubbing the back of your neck as you shot the most pleading glance at the man you had enjoyed annoying all day long.

Kokushibo quirked an eyebrow up “You are not alone, actually. – he simply replied, straightening his jacket – Douma and Akaza are in the basement. I can accompany you there…” the man said, folding his arms against his chest. Only then, when he flexed his arms, you noticed how muscular he actually was.

He had large shoulders, a broad chest and, most likely, a chiseled set of abs down his stomach. Well, damn, did Muzan really have to choose hot men as his bodyguards? Ignoring your dirty, inappropriate thought, you vigorously nodded your head and followed him down the corridor, hoping that the other two assassins were not as good-looking as Kokushibo. Your hopes, though, crushed down, when, hopping down from the elevator, you were met with two piercing golden eyes and fascinating multicolored hues.

The taller one, silvery hair and a malicious grin plastered over his face was the first one who spoke “Ah, there she is! I knew she was the perfect candidate for this job. Such a pity I could not ask her out…” he complained, discarding his phone on the counter of the bar area and strolling towards you.

He was magnetic, his smile so bright and malicious that could have enlighten the whole city during a blackout.

“Back off, Douma. – the short guy, sipping a glass of what you assumed to be cognac, hissed from the stool he was sitting on – Touch her and I’ll shoot you” he stated, slamming the shot onto the counter carelessly.

You let out a nervous laughter and flashed a thin-lipped smile at them, before greeting the rest of Muzan’s army “Akaza and Douma, right? Nice to meet you. I’m Y/N L/N” you introduced yourself, waving your hand at them sheepishly.

You wondered if Akaza really meant what he had said and your eyes betrayed your thoughts, making Douma sneer and grasp your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

You could feel his breath fanning the tip of your nose, his slender frame towering over you as his half-lidded, mystical eyes scanned your face. He really did not know what personal space was, did he?

“Ah, look at you! Adorable, just adorable! Akaza loves to bully me, but he could never lay a finger on the second in command! Muzan-sama would kill him himself! – Douma chimed, tugging at your hand softly and leading you towards the bar – Now, now, let’s grab a glass of scotch and have a chit-chat, shall we?” he suggested, winking at you.

You had no idea of what to do and say. He seemed friendly, far way easier to talk to than Kokushibo, and, since they were going to be your protectors too, it was a good idea getting to know them better.

Before you could talk, Kokushibo’s deep voice pierced your ears and you both froze in your tracks “Take care of her. Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes” he stated, glancing at the two men menacingly, before nodding your head in your direction and hastily leaving the basement.

You watched him leave, your stomach clenching, as you realised that you would have been able to see Muzan in a while. You were not nervous about the dinner, but you had to admit that the idea of undressing in front of him and moaning into his mouth was doing numbers on you.

What if he changed his mind because you had almost zero experience?

You sighed and Douma snaked his arm around your waist, leading you to the stool next to Akaza’s one. As you sat down, you swallowed the lump in your throat and propped your elbows on the counter, eyes transfixed on the crystal bottle of liquor in front of you.

“Can I have a glass of whatever it is, please?” you whispered, earning a chuckle from Douma.

“Bad day?” Akaza asked you, reaching his hand out to grab a glass and the bottle you had been staring at almost lustfully.

You shrugged and flicked your gaze up to meet his golden eyes “Kind of… – you breathed out, as he slided the now filled glass towards you on the polished surface of the counter – I’m not used to be treated like a princess. Everything’s great, don’t get me wrong. I guess it’ll take some time for me to adapt” you said, grasping the glass and dawning a small sip of the alcoholic drink. It burned down your throat and you took a deep breath not to cough up at their faces.

Akaza grinned and cocked his head to the side, his pink eyelashes contrasting with the shimmering hues beneath them “You know, I thought you were a bitch. That’s because Douma found you and he usually has bad tastes in women” he said, making you choke on yiur drink.

What?

You settled the glass back on the counter, eyes daggers on Akaza as he just giggled at your reaction. What did he mean by ‘Douma found you’? You knew that someone had clearly spied on you, you just were startled to find out it was the jovial silver-haired man who had welcomed you in the basement.

“Yeah, he’s stalked you for months!” he added, running his ringed fingers through his spiky hair.

Your head whipped, eyes finally locking with Douma’s ones, demanding at least an apology for having invaded your privacy “How many photographs of me have you taken?” you asked him, quirking an eyebrow up.

He smiled brightly at you and shrugged “Uhm… Probably over twothousand. You know, Muzan-sama became obsessed with you when I showed him the first picture of you I had taken!” he casually declared, as if it was not the creepiest thing to say to someone.

Muzan became obsessed with you?

You shivered, biting the insides of your cheeks in discomfort. How many things did he know about you? Why was he so obsessed with you, a common civilian who was trying to graduate and pay for her studies by working night-shifts at a restaurant?

“Tell me you have not broken into my house, at least” you said, pinching the bridge of your nose.

Silence. Did he?

You gasped and clasped a hand over your mouth in shock and Douma jabbed his finger at Akaza accusingly “Hey, I was not alone! He came with me countless times!” he protested, earning a scornful look from the pink-haired guy.

“Sure I did! I was afraid you were going to follow her into the bathroom, you perv!” Akaza yelled, slamming his fist onto the counter and leaning towards him, despite you being in his way.

“Okay, okay! Stop it you two!” you interjected, blocking Akaza’s view on the taller man.

“See? You made Y/N-chan upset!” Douma rebuked Akaza, folding his arms against his chest and giving him an annoyed side-eye.

Well, they were hilarious. You were glad that two out of the three bodyguards were not as stiff as Kokushibo. They were amusing, even, and they had made the revelation about how you ended up in Muzan’s house less scary than it was. A politician could not be an saint and Muzan was surely far from being one.

Before you could open your mouth to say something, a feminine voice echoed from the entrance of the basement and you three switched your attention on the brunette woman staring at you.

She was probably a little bit older than you. Long, chocolate brown hair and crimson-red lipstick exalting her pale skin, she wore a black tailleur, the skirt being way too short though, and revealing a black, leather suspender with a sharp knife in it. She seemed lathal and she was absolutely beautiful, although you could barely see her eyes.

“Master Muzan’s waiting for you, miss L/N” she coldly said and you clumsily hopped down from the stool to walk towards the elevator not to piss her off. She did not seem like the type you would have messed with, plus you had never seen her before.

“Ah, Nakime-dono… – Douma suavely addressed her – I wondered where were you”.

You passed by her and she bowed her head at you “Enjoy your meal, ma’am. Nobody will disturb you and the Master tonight” she said and you felt a wave of cold sweat running down your back. Were you ready for it?

♚

You were sitting across from him. His plum red eyes boring into yours, as he watched you bringing the spoon to your mouth and repress a moan of pleasure, when the delicious rice met your yearning taste buds.

You had been talking about everything. He seemed eager to know everything about you. Your studies, what you would have loved to do after your graduation, your hobbies, your family. He found you fascinating, adorable.

“It looks like I’ve chosen something you like, doesn’t it? – he commented, a faint smile adorning his lips as you blushed and shyly nodded your head – You can ask the chef to cook whatever you please for lunch tomorrow” he added, clearing his throat.

Seriously?

You smiled at him and settled the silver spoon onto the now empty plate “Thank you so much, Muzan. I will try to pick something you can enjoy too!” you said softly.

He did not reply, he just stood up, consuming the five strides dividing you two in a nick of time and swiftly grasping your chin between his forefinger and thumb. It was time for him to claim you, was it not? Your cheeks seemed to burn under his intense gaze and firm touch and you mouth went suddenly dry.

“Come with me, baby” he whispered, after a few seconds. His hand left your chin, his fingertips grazing down the tender flesh of your neck, travelling down its length and stopping right above your cleavage.

You nodded your head and he wrapped his hand around your wrist, pulling you up and closer to him. He leaned down, until his nose brushed against yours and you batted your eyes close in anticipation. You felt butterflies fluttering into your stomach and, by the time he swept you off of your feet and cradled you in his arms, you knew he had already won your heart.

You clung to him, feet dangling in the air as he led you to his majestic bedroom. He banged the door open, entering in and not caring about closing it behind you. When he dropped ruthlessly onto the bed, your eyes snapped open and you saw the lustful gaze he had trailed on you. The tent in his pants was prominent and you pushed yourself up on your elbows, biting on your lower lip nervously.

He smirked down at you unbuckling the belt with one hand “Take your clothes off. Now” he demanded, throwing it away and unzipping his pants.

“Yes, sir” you murmured, proceeding in kneeling on the bed to pull the simple pink dress you were wearing above your head. You felt his gaze on you, you felt it soaking in every curve of your body, searching for the proof that you were as excited as him. And he found it.

Your white virginal panties had an evident dump he did not fail to notice. You stared up at him and he pulled his shaft out of the tight fabric of his black boxers, giving it a few pumps. It was huge, it would have hurt like Hell and you gulped nervously as you hesitantly pulled your panties down your thighs, exposing your untouched flower at his vicious eyes.

“Fuck” he grunted, crawling over the bed and grasping you by your hips. You squirmed as he pushed you down onto the mattress, his fingers snatching the panties away from your ankles and discarding them somewhere behind him.

“S-Sir, please… Be gentle, I’m a virgin” you blurted out, earning a dumbfounded glance from the raven-haired man.

He could not believe his eyes. You, the young and lovely girl he was about to mark as his property was actually a virgin. He chuckled, parting your legs and grazing your chaste entrance with his pointer finger. You shuddered under his touch, your juices coating the pad of his digit as he slowly shoved it inside you.

You yelped, his other hand pushing your hips down to keep you in place “Your admission just made me feral. Are you under birth-control?” he huskily asked you, pumping the finger in and out of soaked, tight cunt.

You whined and nodded your head at him “Y-yes… Yes, I am, Master” you winced, as he deliberately decided to add another finger into you. He was loving every second of it, your moans music to his ears. He had even declined Nakime’s avances earlier. Something he was not used to, actually, and he had not even called Daki for the usual morning quickie in his office. Nothing, all because he wanted to focus on you. Only on you.

“Good. That’s good, love, because I’ll cum into you” he rasped, removing his fingers from your core and lining his shaft at your entrance. You held your breath, cheeks heating up even more at his words, as you boldly wrapped your legs around him.

He was still fully clothed and you were so lost into the depths of your mind that you had not realised it until now. Why was he fucking you like that? Was it his kink?

And with a quick, painful thrust he entered you. You let out a throaty moan, the pain, mixed with an unfamiliar pressure into your neather regions made your arch your back and grip the red bedsheets into your fists so tightly you thought they were going to rip into shreds.

Muzan grunted, his hand caressing your cheek lovingly to capture the tear you had shedded, before planting a kiss over your plumped lips. You relaxed, he stayed still for a few minutes, before he pulled out and thrusted back in gently. You moaned into his mouth, your hand, cupping his smooth cheek as you whispered a weak “Please, don’t stop” against his lips.

Muzan bit your lip softly, tugging at it to assert his authority on you “Hush, baby. Moan for me until I fill you up to the brim”.

You kissed him again, Muzan returning it as he started to pick up a faster pace. He thrusted into you, his mouth latching onto your collabone as he left a trail of wet kisses down it. You were his. You were going to fall for him, no matter how long it would have taken.

You were his doll, his precious baby, his goddess.

“A–Ah, Muzan… I-I think I’m close… It’s good, it’s so good” you breathed out then, as his hand grasped your throat and gave it a tight squeeze. You moaned, eyes rolling at the back of your skull, as your spongy walls clamped down his cock.

He growled, his hips rutting into you as he neared his climax and, just a few moments before he spurted his seed into you, you orgasmed around him. Muzan lowly moaned, burying his face onto the crook of your sweaty neck as he finished inside you. He stayed sheathed into you for a few minutes, before pulling out of your aching core and rolling over his back.

You could not believe what had just happened. You could not believe you had just slept with the next President, you could not believe he had come into you.

“You can sleep here, if you want” he casually said then, snapping you out of your stream of consciousness. He was not laying next to you anymore, he was on his feet and walking towards the private bathroom of his bedroom, undressing and leaving a trail of clothes behind him.

Well, what a first day it had been.

[gojo-enthusiast]

One Week Away

Series — My Husband Toji Zenin

Mature Content— 18+

*I’ve been detoxing life lmao— also I have a girlfriend now yay hehe.*

Toji had a work trip that was mandatory, he had tried to convince you to go with him, but when you weighed out all the options, and knew you would spend 99% of the time there alone, it just was something you weren’t up for. So you took this time out to invite your sister to stay the week with you. Maybe you wouldn’t miss your darling husband too much then.

It has officially been 6 days into your husband being gone, your sister is now on her way back home, and you are officially home alone.

“I miss Toji. I wonder if he would pick up my call? Is he busy?” You think to yourself. Taking the chance to call him.

As the phone rings, you go to press the end call button after three rings, figuring he was too busy to talk on the phone, but then hearing a woman voice answering, “Hello?” She says confused. “Um… Who is this?” You question, “Uh, that should be my line. Who are you?” She said snarky. At this rate, within a couple of seconds your head is fuming, and your heart feels like it had just been stomped on. “Was all that marriage counseling for nothing?” You think to yourself. Then you hear your husband. “Where the fuck is my phone?” You begin to hear other people in the back, one of them being Satoru. “You lost it old man?” He chuckles. “Shut the fuck up, and help me find my phone, I haven’t talked to my wife today.” He says in an agitated tone. “Wait why do you have my phone?” He questions, getting closer to what you think is the woman who answered the phone. “What?” She says, your heart is beating out of your chest. “Thats my phone, who are you talking to on my phone?” He says in an almost growl. “Oh shit, I’m sorry Toji, I thought this was my phone.” She nervously laughs, handing the phone to him. As soon as his phones are placed in his hands, he sees your name and photo. “Fuck. Baby?” He says into the phone. You had already started crying, because of course you assumed the worst, you couldn’t help it. “H-hey T-toji.” You stutter, feeling the tears rolling down. “Fuck, baby… are you crying?” He groans, you hear him walking away from the crowd, hearing Satoru in the background say. “Fuck, what did you say when you answered that phone?”

“I’m fine Toji, h-hows your trip?” You try to brush off like everything is fine. “Baby, she is just a fellow colleague. She grabbed my phone by accident. Are you okay?” He questions concerning. “I-I’m fine. I-I was just a little surprised.” You said with a shaky voice. You knew your husband wasn’t cheating on you, but what can you expect? It wasn’t always easy, especially with being apart. “I-I don’t want to be at home alone anymore. I sh-should have g-gone with yo-you.” You burst into tears, realizing how much you miss your husband. “Doll, I’m sorry. I’ll be home soon. ‘Aight?” He reassures you on the phone.

You both stayed on the phone for a few minutes, before he had to go back to his company dinner, and you fell asleep snuggled up to one of his hoodies. “I miss you.” You whisper into his hoodie, smelling his cologne, and his overall scent. It had been 6PM, and you drifted to sleep.

Toji became distressed with the thought of you being alone, he was ready to see his wife, to remind her that she was his, and he was yours. He had said his goodbyes, and grabbed his bag from the upstairs hotel. The drive was 6 hours, yet he made it back home in 5. Checking his watch, it was 12:36AM. Toji knew you would have been sound asleep, which was perfect for him, he knew how much you loved waking up to his head in between your legs, reminding you how much he loves and adores you. You also knew how much he worshipped your cunt, it had him making laps until your orgasms were almost painful. Toji loosened his tie, flinging across the room, seeing you in your little laced blue panties, and his hoodie, it only made his cock throb with just the mere sight of seeing you laid like that, he always loved how your ass was thick that your panties would almost get swallowed by them, there was so many times, he wanted to beg you to let him fuck your little ass, yet he knew how hard that would be, especially since it was hard to even take him vaginally, but he sure did fantasize about it. Toji took his belt off, unbuttoning his pants, letting them drop to the floor, popping the buttons off of his shirt, throwing it to the corner of the room. He had become a hungry tiger, wanting to devour you, until you shuttered at his touch. Toji was a kind and gentle man to you, but sexually, he could be ruthless, he loved to watch your pretty big eyes cry, whining for him to keep going, then to stop.

Toji crawled into bed, and gently turned you from your side, to your back, and slowly spread your legs apart. You were a bit of a deep sleeper, especially after you had cried. He saw the way your eyes were puffy, he placed a kiss on your eyelids, moving down to your lips, then licking you down your neck, lifting up the hoodie, he lightly sucked on your nipples, light enough to not wake you up, but enough for your nipples to harden. He traced his tongue down your stomach, then to your heat, pulling your panties down swiftly. He eyed your pussy, spreading your labia apart, lapping his tongue, sucking on your clit immediately. He knew your body more than you did, he sucked and licked, feeling your arousal start to come out, and his tongue got the first taste. He dipped his index finger inside of you, feeling your walls. Your moans started to fill the room, while you were slowly waking up. He kept lapping his tongue in your cunt, switching from your hole, to your clit, tasting you inside out. You woke up, wide eyed, seeing your husbands straight black hair between your legs. “T-Toji?” You croak out then moan. “Hmm?” He hum’s, as he continues to suck on your clit. “Ah- w-what are you do-doing h-here? Ah- T-TTojiiii?” You moan loudly. “Hmm you taste so good.” he slurps. He then inserted two fingers, beginning to pump in and out of you slow and agonizing, pulling moan and whimper out of you.

"To-Toji, please.." You whimpered, tears welling up in your eyes, your body feeling overstimulated. "You're so tight doll." He groans, feeling his throbbing cock leak pre-cum. "I need you." You cry silently, tears flowing out of your sweet eyes. "Do you love me?" You question, feeling a sense of insecurity. "Hmm?" He half questions, but he heard you plain and clear. "D-do y-you lo-love me?" You whimper as he continues to pump into you, but his dark eyes were peering into yours as he leaned up and his face was right in front of yours, "Do I love you?" He questions back to you. Your blood turning cold, and goosebumps covering your skin, "Is that what you're asking me? You're asking me if I love you?" He questions you again. "Y-yeah." You stutter, pulling at your bottom lip, biting it. "What makes you think I don't?" He whispers into your ear, curling his fingers inside your squelching cunt. "Ugh- I-I just w-want to h-hear y-you say you l-lo-love me." You whimper out, feeling an orgasm approach. "Hmm? Is that so?" He groans in your ear, his groin dry humping the air, his body was twitching at the sight of your thick tears. "Fuck, I could just fuck that pretty little face of yours, see those tears soak my cock." He groans, pushing you over the edge, you spasming and creaming all around his fingers.

"Toji!" You moan loudly, cumming all over his fingers, feeling that high he had brought you too. Toji removed his fingers, drinking in your arousal, licking his fingers clean. "I love you." He says to you, as he pecks your lips lightly. Tears welling up in your eyes again, pulling your husband into your embrace. "You only love me, right?" You question, pulling down his boxers, watching his throbbing cock slap his stomach. "I want you inside of me." You whimper, touching the tip of his throbbing cock with the pads of your index and middle finger. "F-Fuck. Doll. Wait-" He pushes your hand away. "I do love you, only you." He coos, lifting your chin to look at him, then crashing his lips onto yours, pulling you into his embrace. You felt him wrap his hand around the swollen member, and felt him glide it up your sopping core, slightly pushing it in. The slow stretch, Toji had prepped you as much as he could, he was on the verge of snapping. "Take a deep breath for me doll." He groans, you do as he instructs, taking that deep breath, and you feel him push himself into you, causing your breath to get caught in your throat. No matter how many years you two had been married, you still could never get used to his size. Tears slipped from your eyes, and you felt his tongue lick them up. Thrusting in and out, already pulling an early orgasm. “Toji, s-stop.” You moan. "Can't. You're gon' have to take it." He grunts. Thrusting into you in a Godlike pace, crushing you underneath him. You felt his strong arms pull your legs to wrap around his waist, and him push even deeper into you. "Do you feel how we are connected?" He groaned. Toji lifting your head, sitting up, he had you looking at the way you two were connected, you saw the way he pushed into you, and the way your arousal was mixing with his, foaming at the base of his cock. "Watch how I fill you." He growls into your ear, "Watch how my love spills into you." He adds, "After I'm done with you, you'll never ask if I love you again." He grunts into your ear. He had completley pulled you on top of him, gripping your hips, lifting you up and down, bouncing you on his twitching cock. He thrusted up into you, chasing your release, and his too. Toji pulls you to his chest, your head thrown back, he nussled his head on your shoulder blade, pounding you from underneath. "Fuck- Gon' cum." He grunts into your ear, then putting his hand on the back of your head, pushing your head to his, smashing his lips on yours. He fought for dominance, his tongue exploring your mouth. He quickly detached, sucking on your neck, leaving love bites. "I'm gon' cum, you're gonna have t' take it." He growls into your ear. After a couple sloppy fast strokes, his hot cum shot deep inside of you, slowing his pace, he still continued to pump into you until every last drop had entered into you. "We just created a love child, doll." He groaned in your ear, slipping you off of him, and pulling you into his embrace. "Oh-" You moaned as he slipped out of you. "Let me take you once more." He said into your ear, spreading your legs, and pushing his once again hard member back into you, stroking in you slow and steady.

"Tojiiii- I can't anymore." You moaned, your legs spasming in overstimulation, and your toes curled. "Just a little bit more, let me fill you up, I need you to give me a baby." He groaned, throwing his head back. His cock was twitching already, so senstive from just finishing, he did not want to stop, he wanted to keep feeling this ecstacy that your cunt offered him. Within a couple of minuets, he came again, finally pulling you to lay on your side, and he stayed inside of you. "Toji, take it out." You groan, feeling your womahood tender and swollen.

"Mm Mm, I have to make sure you give me a child." He says with a smirk, nuzzling down to the crook of your neck, leaving pecks.

Eventually you had fallen asleep, and your husband, pulled out of you, going and grabbing a warm wet towel, cleaning you up. He bent down to your stomach and whispered, "This was it, I know it." He smiles, kissing your stomach while you're sound asleep.

[esmedelacroix]

"I hate it when you're not around,"

husband!miguel x f!reader ♡

10 Things I Hate About You ← mini-series masterlist

"Even worse when you make me cry" ← previous part

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What Miguel didn't know was that you had already forgiven him. One of the hardest tasks in the world for you was to stay mad at him. You had forgiven him the moment he kissed your shoulder and said the simple words, "I'm sorry," Why? Because you love him. Maybe a little too much.

Most people would think that the words, "I'm sorry" have lost all meaning in your relationship. That the phrase is used by Miguel so much that it is just something he says to avoid disputes. That's not true though. You know that there is gravity behind every "I'm sorry," Miguel says.

That didn't stop the fact that Miguel hurt you. You just wanted him to feel the same pain you did. So you stopped visiting him at work and you stopped waiting for him to come home and just went straight to bed. It killed you not to be able to see him during the day, but you were upset. He made you cry, he deserved it.

. . .

Miguel's POV

Something has been missing from my days. I know exactly what it is but I've been trying to take my mind off of it. But how could I not think about her? My sweet angel that usually visits me is nowhere to be found today, just like yesterday and the day before. It's like eating a pb &j without the j or the pb or anything. It's like my days lose some of their meaning when she's not here with me.

An unfamiliar and chilling gloom cast on my office. Similar to the one that was there before I met the love of my life. It was too often an occurrence where things would be insane at work and it affected my home life with her.

She's never been this upset with me. But I guess once one thing happens over and over you begin to get tired. Is she perhaps getting tired of me? Just when I'd reached the peak of my overthinking spree, Peter B. barged into my office with Hobie, Gwen, and Mayday.

"Alright Miguel we've had enough," Peter started stomping up to me.

"Enough of what," I deadpanned.

"Enough of your sulking and enough of your wife not being here, we're friends with her. We all miss her," Gwen continued.

"You do know why she's so upset with you, right?" Hobie asked.

I finally turned away from my screens and faced the group interrogating me. "Because... I've been working too much?" he answered.

"No, she's used to that. It's because of Justine," Hobie interjected.

"Justine?" he repeated, confused.

"Yes Justine, the girl you keep running to instead of spending time with your wife," Gwen said.

"The girl you keep choosing over your wife," Peter B added.

"The girl you're cheating on your wife with," Hobie interjected.

"Woah woah hold your horses. I'm not cheating on my wife with Justine!? That's absurd! I can barely stand her!" he retired. He didn't raise his voice but his tone was definitely unusually unstable.

"But do you see how she could think that you're choosing Justine over her?" Peter asked.

"I mean I guess so but I was just following protocol," he replied.

"You could've waited until after lunch," Gwen responded.

"She needed a friend the night she went to her universe. I see myself in her. I was only trying to help. I couldn't imagine being with another woman that's not my love," he insisted.

"Well, you have to say that all to her, not us. It sounds like you guys have a bit of a communication problem," Hobie replied.

"Dios mío[my God], I can't believe I'm getting advice from a kid," he whispered to himself.

"Well you better take that advice," Peter answered.

"But she doesn't want to see me," he sighed, sinking down into his seat.

"Do you really believe that?" Peter B asked raising a brow and placing a firm hand on his shoulder.

With that encouragement, Miguel dropped all his work and swung to your home hoping you wouldn't already be asleep. Like the whole universe was against him, little problems kept coming up on the way. An old lady's cat stuck in a tree, bodega robbery, bank robbery, you name it.

None of that would stop him from coming home to you on time.

. . .

next part → "And the fact that you didn't call,"

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taglist: @lilscast @lazyjellyfish300 @safixiovi @saaaaaaaaaaaamiiiiiiiiiiira @aktenati @vera4luv @skylertully @boringpersonality @ce3stvu @straw-berry-ghoul @holachaoholachoa

[thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels]

My life does not belong to me (but these secrets are my own)

Blood nose and a crooked tongue (I always wanted to be someone) - series masterlist here

pairing: tim drake x reader (gender neutral)

length: 1.2k

genre: fluff? I guess?

warnings: red robin breaks into reader's apartment but he's very polite abt it, he also kind of intimidates and threatens but it's all for funsies

a/n: another intro another story here ya go

There's a certain fear you feel when something takes you by surprise - when you miss a step walking down the stairs or you reach into your pocket and realize you've lost your phone. These moments, you think haltingly, all pale in comparison to the fear that strikes through you when you flip on the light in your apartment and see Red Robin perched in the corner of your living room, arms crossed and scowling.

"People usually knock first," is all your brain supplies.

"The murder victim from last week. You were at the crime scene," is his only retort, curt and professional. You hum thoughtfully, throwing your keys and wallet onto your coffee table and removing your jacket, slinging it over the arm of your couch as you cross your arms to mirror his, leaning against the wall opposite him.

"And you're so sure of that?" You quip back. His frown deepens. 

"A private investigator trails a man for three weeks and then he ends up dead in an alley. This is serious." 

"Oh, I'm sure it is," you say, the patronizing edge to your voice making Red Robin's fists clench as your heart hammers in your chest. "But… not for me. Because you see, Red, I wasn't there, I didn't kill anyone, and I'm not the cop working this case. So, I would suggest finding someone who's actually involved in this in some way. You can go and have a very serious conversation with them, instead." Your frown matches his as the two of you stare each other down, your arms still crossed tightly against your chest as you hope he can't tell how desperately you want him to stop sniffing around and leave.

"You're awful nervous for someone who's not involved," he says smoothly.

Fuck, you think.

"Let's try this again," Red Robin pushes himself off the wall, stalking towards you. You do your best not to move - not to back away when he comes close, looking you in the eyes through the white slits in his mask.

"You were there in that alley the night that he died. You were not the person who reported the body - you fled the crime scene, instead. You've been tailing him for weeks because his wife supposedly hired you to find proof of him cheating. You must have, in all the time you spent following him, realized that his late-night rendezvous were, instead, because he was dealing drops for Falcone." You inhale sharply at Red Robin's words and he grins viciously, like a wolf who's just caught a rabbit between its teeth.

"Shall I continue?" He mimics your patronizing voice from earlier and you open your mouth, a retort dying on your tongue as he continues talking. "You claim to make your money by way of rich women hiring you to expose their lying, cheating husbands, but you and I both know that's just not true-"

"It is-"

"Oh, sure, yes - it is true. You do technically do that work. But there are some other things you have your hands in, hm? Aren't there? You do a lot more than just that for your clients. A lot that I'm sure the GCPD would be thrilled to have some evidence against."

Red Robin leans closer to you, silence dripping between the two of you as your head spins and you try desperately to grasp onto enough words to snap back with something - anything. 

"I didn't kill him," you finally say firmly. "I had nothing to do with that."

"No, I know you didn't," Red Robin shrugs casually and leans away from you, rocking back on his heels as your shoulders drop in relief at the new distance between the two of you.

"Then what the fuck was that?" You snap at him.

"You were being evasive. I got impatient." He spins away from you and sits on the arm of your couch, settling in. 

"You're not staying here," you say pointedly.

"Oh, only for a little while," he waves off your anger. "I need you to tell me what you learned about his drops dealing."

"Excuse me?" You retort, heart still pounding uncomfortably in your chest as you come down slightly from your panic.

"Any information we can get involving these drugs helps us," he explains, You sigh, rubbing the back of your neck where the stiffness has begun to ache. 

"If I give you the file I have on him, will you leave?" You glance at your balcony door pointedly, noticing that it's no longer locked.

"Oh, I promise," Red Robin grins. You roll your eyes and turn on your heel, leaving him to go retrieve the file from your office. 

Tim sighs as you walk away, rolling the soreness out of his shoulders as he listens to you slamming filing cabinet drawers open and closed on the other side of the wall. Yea, he thinks, you're pissed. 

He takes the time to let his eyes wander over the details of your apartment - your home… if you can call it that. It's exactly what he expected from someone covering up an illegal lifestyle - generic, just lived-in enough for you to be able to say see? Absolutely this is my very normal apartment and my very normal life, officer. But no photos on the walls, no interests displayed, nothing that would reveal any sort of personal information about you.

He wonders idly what your very not-normal office must look like when you come back, slamming the file onto his lap with enough force that his hands shoot out to catch it. You stand in front of him with your arms crossed, glaring at him.

"Everything's in there. You can leave now." He nods at your words, flipping open the file to make sure. 

"This is some good work," he muses.

"Not interested, Red," you snap back. He flips the file shut and stands, ending up closer to you than you would have liked as you lean back slightly, his chest brushing against your crossed arms. But all he does is huff out a laugh before stepping away and sliding open your balcony door.

Red?" you call out. He turns to you, cocking his head to the side. "Are you… going to give the police the evidence you have against me?"

"What evidence?" Red Robin shoots back, grinning again. 

"Oh, you - you've got to be fucking kidding," you sigh, shoulders slumping as you bury your face in your hands.

"You're good at what you do - I had trouble finding anything on you. Oh and, uh… you should really lock this door. You never know who might try to come in," he quips before you hear your balcony door click shut. By the time you look up from your hands, he's gone, and you move quickly to lock the door once again.

Not that it matters, you muse, inspecting the lock for any signs of a break-in. Fucking bats - they never leave a goddamn trace.

But as you turn back to face your living room again, a note on your coffee table catches your eye. Snatching it and unfolding it quickly, the writing inside makes your jaw clench.

Call this number if you find out anything new. - Red

You sigh, throwing the note back onto the table and slouching into your couch, face in your hands once more. Somehow, you doubt that's the last time you'll be hearing from Red Robin.

[luneemeritus]

I was thinking about how I would imagine Husk's life before Hell... taking a lot of canon information as inspiration but still keeping my personal headcanons.

Ok so his name was Henry Oscar. A black-american man. To me, he died with 55 years old. Born in 1920, Los Angeles, and died in 1975. His parents were very neglectful and he had a special problem with his dad, that raised him with the typical abusive and sexist behaviour. Husk (or Henry) was a man, so he needed to be tough and hide all of his feelings, which as very difficult not only because of his human nature but also the world around him. Life was NOT easy for a black man in the 20's America. Still, he managed to be independent since youth and started his life working in casinos. So yes, he developed gambling addiction since he was young, but at first it didn't seem dangerous. He was just a lonely boy engaging in arts and games. Husk was a very talented man that became a great musician, magician and gambler, but he also had the inclination to be selfish and greedy due to how he was raised.

I also love to imagine him having a family. Meeting some girl in LA, marrying her and having a kid — a precious and beautiful little girl that he loved deeply. But the gambling, that was first one of his many talents and ways to have fun, was becoming a worse and worse addiction. He started to lose money, SO MUCH money, and damaged his family's financial stability. He also engaged with cheating and dangerous activities with not-so-good people. Loan sharks, mobsters, and criminals in general. He frequently engaged in violent fights with dangerous people, ending up either in jail for some days/weeks, or being chased and coerced by them — literally bringing danger to his family.

One day, obviously, his wife had enough. She was tired of loosing financial stability, having hers and her daughter's safety threatened by her husband's reckless behaviour. She also believed Husk was supposed to be strong and perfect all the time — typical-period sexism —, which led her to ask a divorce. The divorce process was painful to Husk; he truly loved his family, so much, but he knew it was his fault. Worse, his ex-wife did her best to keep him away from their daughter, because he was a lost cause in her eyes, and it didn't take too long for her to get married with another man. Husk was abandoned, replaced and pushed away from his daughter. And it was all his fault... his mental health only got worse and worse.

Now he was alone again. He saw no other choice but to continue that life style, now the alcohol took a great part of his routine and became a new addiction. His life was attached to the casinos, his only way of earning the minimal gain to pay his bills. So he fucked around — with women AND men — and gambled more and more, now that he had only himself to care about. His life wasn't entirely terrible, he traveled a lot because of the money he earned, but still, he missed his family. A lot. He couldn't see his precious daughter again, and yeah he did try to meet other people and love again... but it always failed. Everyone thought he was too damaged, too broken to be loved. A waste of time, always unsafe and unworthy. He couldn't get proper mental health treatment nor get over his addictions, so he started to believe that, indeed, it was all true, he was unworthy.

All of this destroyed Husk completely. But specially, his guilt. The guilt of what his reckless behaviour did to his family, the guilt of never being able to let go of his addictions, let go of his past... guilt of never being able to be a good partner for anyone. He thought it was all his fault, and that his fate was to be alone. Unfortunately, in 1973, he discovered he had cirrhosis. He didn't have money enough to pay the treatment. Then, Husk decided to just... give up. Give up of trying to be better, trying to be something he isn't, trying to have a normal and peaceful life. He went to a small hospital in LA and stayed there for the next two years, when he died. Alone and forgotten. No one ever cared to visit him, and he was burried as indigent because no one identified his body.

Now some other details about my headcanon: Husk/Henry was surprisingly open minded. He was basically raised in casinos, he met a lot of sex workers and queer, gender-non-confirming people. It didn't take him too long to realize he was queer himself, and to be fair, he was actually fine with that (as long as, you know, it was in secret because it WAS extremely dangerous to be openly queer at that time). Also, I've seen a lot of people commenting the fact that Husk hated cats when he was alive... and I really want to know if this is canon or not. Because I genuinely don't know, either way I don't headcanon him as hating cats.

Husk kinda made friends during his lifetime, but they were only interested in him when he had money. He was often earning a lot of money, and loosing all of it in like, one night of gambling. So his life was always unstable. The last he saw his daughter, she was nine years old. The feeling to be replaced as husband AND father was basically what fucked up his mental health the most. The problem of Husk's life was that he would always lose everything, even when he was close to true happiness. He lost his family, lost his mental and physical health, and even his soul. Obviously, someone so used to feel unworthy, to be lonely and not cared for, became a selfish and greedy person as an Overlord who didn't care about the consequences of his actions. He had power, therefore he had everything... until he didn't, until he lost everything again.

The Hotel is a new start for him. Finally, the chance to be that passionate man again, and maybe, even start a new family.

[babymetaldoll]

Are you mine? - Chapter four: "I've lost a friend"  

Summary: Spencer has to go back to work after Raven was born and (Y/N) has a bad feeling about it.  Word count: 7.883 Warnings: Criminal minds case info, shootings, swearing, and fluff, the usual.  A/N: Hey! Thank you for reading! I love this chapter 'cos I love writing about Spencer's life as a dad. Of course he has a million pictures of his babies on his desk, and he loves spoiling them. He is the best dad ever! how do you picture Spencer as a dad? 

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Spencer’s point of view

I didn’t want to be back at work. I wanted to be home with my wife and kid. I missed them both terribly the whole time, and there were not enough pictures on my desk to help me cope with those feelings. I kept texting (Y/N) during the day, and it was relieving to know she and my mom were there to help her with Raven and keep her company. 

Did you know that during the seventh week of life, a baby can track a moving object with their eyes? I was missing Raven learning how to follow us walking around the room. And her hands were almost completely open, so she was ready to start grabbing hair, or even blankets. I was gonna miss that for catching psychopaths.  

- “Spence! I missed you! Welcome back!”- JJ said as he hugged me the second I walked out of the elevator. She caught me completely by surprise. 

- “Hey, JJ! Thanks! How are you?”- I tapped her back and looked around. Garcia was there, holding a bowl filled with homemade bird-shaped cookies and Derek waved. 

- “And how is my little goddaughter? And my beautiful munchkin?”- Pen asked as she hugged me next. 

- “They are fine. Raven is adorable and (Y/N) is doing an amazing job with her. She's a pro. I’ve timed her changing diapers ‘cos I need to beat her time.” 

- “I bet it is hard staying away from them.”- Derek said as we walked to the bullpen straight to our desks. 

- “This was the first time ever I didn't want to come to work.”- I confessed and took a framed picture of Raven from my satchel, and placed it on my desk.- “But (Y/N) made sure I had a reminder of what waits for me back home.”  

- “Dirty diapers?”- Morgan chuckled and I frowned, shaking my head- “I know, I’m just joking, kid. I missed you. I’m glad you are back, even if you’ll be stuck at the desk for another month.” 

- “You are?”- JJ asked, surprised. 

- “Yeah, I talked to Hotch. I won’t be traveling with you for the next couple of weeks. I don’t wanna leave (Y/N) alone with Raven for too long, they need me.” 

That plan worked for the first two weeks after I reincorporated for duty. Until it didn’t, obviously.

It was the perfect Saturday afternoon. (Y/N) and I were bathing a nine-week-old Raven. She was enjoying her time in the water. We had a tiny tub for her and while my wife held her head, I helped rub her little body with soap. 

- “Look at you, little Raven, you are so clean you are not gonna puke again tonight, right?”- (Y/N) joked looking at our baby. 

- “I don’t think she meant puking on you.”- I replied and chuckled. 

- “Twice today? That’s five this week for me and just twice for you.”- my wife raised an eyebrow as she looked at me for a second - “I think you and Raven have an alliance and are trying to make me lose our bet.” 

- “That’s absurd!”- I laughed and splashed a little water on (Y/N)'s face. - “Don't be a bad loser, chipmunk.” 

- “You two are cheating, Batsy! I know it!”- the phone ruined our moment that second. It was my cell phone, which meant that Saturday evening was ruined. We had a case. 

My wife stared at me and sighed as I quickly stood up and picked up. It was Hotch, and he wasn’t happy to bother us. 

- “I’m sorry, Reid. But you are gonna have to travel with us this time. I’ll give you the details in the BAU.” 

I sighed as I hung up the phone. (Y/N) walked to me holding Raven wrapped in a puffy purple towel. 

- “Case?” 

- “Yeah, and Hotch said I have to go with the team.”- my wife nodded and sighed. We both knew it was going to happen eventually. We just didn’t realize it was gonna happen so soon. 

- “Can you ask your mom to come and help?”- but she shook her head and kissed Raven’s head. 

- “We are gonna be ok, honey bunny. Am I right, Birdie?- and just on cue, our baby girl yawned. - “See? we’re gonna sleep all night long.”

- “I’m gonna call you as soon as I know where we are going, and I’ll text you as soon as we land. Ok?”- (Y/N) nodded and kissed my lips. 

- “Please, take care, Batsy.”

- “You know I will.”- and I meant every word. - “Let me help you put Birdie in her pajamas before I leave.” 

Blake picked me up and drove me to the BAU. I didn’t want to leave (Y/N) without the car, in case there was an emergency and she had to take our baby to the doctor. She was very upset that we were called in for a case. As we walked out of the elevator in the BAU, she was telling me her husband, James, was visiting and according to her words, he was left all alone cooking and watching “House Hunters” without her. 

- “I know how you feel.”- I said as we walked to the team that was gathered at our desks. - “We were giving Raven a bath with lavender oils to help her relax, and we were going to cook a nice dinner, maybe try to catch up with Doctor Who. Until I got that call.”

- “We get Henry to bed”- JJ looked at me, telling the story of her evening to Rossi, Morgan, and Penelope as well. - “And, you know, we're about to finally have some alone time with mommy and daddy, and… you guys know the rest.”

- “Ah, trying to dust off the old cobwebs?”- Derek teased and Garcia immediately hit his arm. 

- “Inappropriate!”

- “What?”- Morgan chuckled, and Garcia somehow overlooked the fact it was actually inappropriate and asked. 

- “Seriously, though, how long has it been?”- Morgan insisted.  

- “Too long.”- JJ’s face fell as she confessed, and Blake turned to Rossi asking. 

- “Do we know what the case is?”

- “Not yet. Hotch just said to drop everything and get back here.”- he replied, but that was all I heard about the case. Garcia kept talking with JJ about her needing time alone with Will, and I got a text from (Y/N). She sent a picture of Raven asleep in our bed, surrendered by pillows. I smiled as I looked at it, and wished I was back home with them. 

- “Miss you already.”- I texted back and sighed. 

- “You need some private adult time. I'll watch Henry. No bad guys, no kids, in that order. Go to Mexico. Or the Maldives, maybe.”- Garcia kept talking as I placed the phone back into my pocket. 

- “Cruz?”- JJ said 

- “Yes! Exactly. A cruise would be perfect.” 

- “No, no, no. Matt Cruz.”- JJ pointed at the other side of the bullpen, where our Section Chief talked with Hotch. If Cruz was there, then it meant the case was serious, which also explained why Hotch was forcing me to go with the team. 

Matt Cruz started presenting the case. That was weird. I looked around the room and my eyes found Blake. She cut me a short smile, which I reciprocated. Call me lame, but I missed my wife. Working without her was bizarre. I was used to having her as my partner in crime. Or more accurately, my partner fighting crime. 

- “A good friend of mine, Sheriff Peter Coleman, down in Briscoe County, Texas reached out to me about a possible case. He's a former Texas Ranger, he's a good guy.”- Matt started explaining, and Hotch continued.  

- “He read about our work on The Silencer case two years ago. He asked for a consult.”

- “What do we have?”- Blake asked right away, eager to solve that case, I suppose. We all wanted to go back home. At least I know that was all I had in mind.

- “Abigail Jones. Prostitute.”- Cruz explained. - “She was found in a dumpster last night.”

- “What's that on her wrists?”- Morgan asked, staring at the pictures on the screen. But Cruz failed to zoom in on the images, and Garcia had to help. (Y/N) would have laughed at the scene and made any sassy comment. But instead, no one even chuckled. 

- “Rope burns.”- Rossi pointed out, and Cruz continued explaining. 

- “Which goes hand in hand with lacerations on her back.”

- “There's also a gun wound to the back of her head, execution style.”- JJ said, sitting next to me.  

- “It's a conflict in M. O.”- I looked at the crime scene’s pictures on the screen. - “The cutting and restraining, point to a sexual sadism, but the gun wound ends the torture too quickly for a sadist.”

- “Is that the only victim?”- Blake asked. But of course, there were more. 

- “There's Hannah Kelly, another prostitute, killed six months ago, dumped one jurisdiction over.”

- “Forensic countermeasure.”- Blake added - “Smart enough to separate the victims so we won't tie them together.”

- “And practical, too.”- Matt Cruz commented. - “The body was left in a hooker row, where they picked up their Johns. Which brings us to our first victim, Lucas Wagner, killed eleven months ago. Multiple arrests for soliciting a prostitute. He was found outside of a crack house where some of them lived.”

- “He takes a paying customer and drops them where the girls live. That sends a message that nobody's safe.”- Derek commented and Hotch nodded at his words. 

- “Tell Sheriff Coleman we're on our way.”

And so I was on my way to Texas with the team. I texted my wife to tell her where we were going and asked her to keep me updated about her night with Raven, knowing I wasn’t going to sleep much on the plane thinking they were home alone.

- “Birdie is almost snoring.”- (Y/N) texted and sent a picture of our baby nearly drooling, and looking a lot like her mother when dreaming. 

- “Kiss those baby cheeks from me.”- I typed quickly and chuckled. JJ sat next to me on the jet and looked at my phone’s screen. 

- “Oh my god! Raven is adorable!”- she said, staring at the picture. - “And how is (Y/N) doing? I feel like a lousy friend, I haven’t visited as much as I’d like.”      

- “She is great. She is an amazing mother. I feel so guilty for leaving them home alone.”- I confessed and sighed. The rest of the team joined us in the jet, getting ready for the takeoff.  

- “Oh, come on, Spence. I bet you are an amazing dad.”- JJ assured me. - “Besides, you and (Y/N) were meant to be together and have babies.”

I just smiled and looked at the picture on my cellphone one more time. I know I had never been a huge fan of technology, but I was willing to change that if it meant getting pictures of Raven while I was away. 

We reviewed the case during the flight. Hotch paired me with Morgan to talk with everybody who had worked on the streets the prior night. We made it to Texas at breaking dawn, we had just time to get a coffee and head to work. 

- “You are already looking like a dad.”- Morgan teased me as I walked to the SUV, where one of the local cops was waiting for us. - “You are getting a dad bod.” 

- “What are you talking about?”- I frowned confused - “What’s a dad bod?” 

- “A ‘dad body’, genius. Look at your stomach, you are getting bulky.”

- “I am not bulky!”- I sucked in my stomach immediately, which made my friend laugh even harder. - “My wife just happens to be a great cook.”

- “We know, and I’m glad she is making you eat proper food and not just takeout.”- Morgan got into the car and the cop guided us to a place called “Joel’s Bar.” 

- “Not too many spots for working girls to go to, so this will be your best shot.”- he explained as we got out of the SUV under the already burning Texas morning sun. 

- “And you turn a blind eye to what goes on in here?”- I asked him as I unbuttoned the lowest bottom of my sweater, already conscious of how it looked like it was too tight. 

- “Agent, we only got one bar around here.”- the official explained- “Monday night's karaoke, Tuesday's line dancing, and the girls are discreet. Can't hardly tell the professionals from the locals who just want to get their drink on. Not to mention, we shut this place down, then what?”

- “The devil you know kind of thing.”- Morgan said and looked at me with a smug smirk. 

By the end of the day, we had nothing. The entire police force was very eager to help us, but so far, we didn’t have much to investigate. Back at the hotel, I laid on my bed and dialed (Y/N)’s phone number. I waited patiently for her to pick up, but she didn’t, and the call went to voicemail. I immediately panicked and dialed again. After a few seconds, I heard my wife’s voice on the other side of the line, and Raven’s desperate cries. 

- “What happened?”- I asked immediately  

- “Colics, she started crying an hour ago.”- my wife quickly explained. -“I’ve been walking with her around the apartment the entire time, trying to calm her down. Sorry I didn’t pick up when you called, we were in the kitchen and I didn’t hear the phone.” 

- “No, chipmunk, don’t worry. I am so sorry I’m not there to help you.”- my heart ached hearing my daughter cry at the other side of the line, knowing there was nothing I could do at the minute to calm her down from Texas.  

- “I can call you back when she is calmer if you want”- I imagined my wife holding the phone between her neck and her ear as she carried Raven across the apartment. 

- “Can you put me on speaker, I wanna talk to her.”- I begged, knowing it was the only thing I could do. I heard her struggling with the phone until she announced I was on speaker. 

- “She can hear you now, honey.” 

- “Hey Raven.”- I whispered, but my daughter kept crying. - “Hey baby birdie, it’s your dad, remember me? The tall guy with the crazy hair that keeps kissing your mommy.”- my baby sobbed and I closed my eyes. All I wanted that minute was to teleport and hold her close to my chest. 

- “We miss you, Daddy.”- (Y/N) said and I smiled for a second. - “Tell us about the case.” 

- “You don’t really wanna know.” 

- “True, I don’t want the details. But are you close to catching the guys?”

- “Yeah, definitely.”

- “You are such a lousy liar.”- I smiled knowing my wife had smiled for a second. - “I miss you.”

- “Me more. And I miss that little crying baby as well.”- for a moment, Raven gave us a truce and whined more quietly- “Did you give her the antispasmodic drops?” 

- “Yes, they should be kicking in as we speak.” 

- “Good, I can’t stand knowing she is in pain.”- I whispered, relieved.  

- “I know how you feel.”- my wife sighed and made a long pause. I stared at the ceiling, picturing the two of them in the room with me. - “I don't like this, honey. I’m sorry.” 

- “What? The call?”- somehow, I was lost.  

- “No. Having you away, I don’t like it. I have a bad feeling about this.” 

- “It’s just because it’s the first time I’ve been away since we had Raven. But I promise we’ll be together as soon as possible.”

- “I feel so guilty, ‘cos I think I’m so scared and stressed out, I gave Raven the colics.”

- “It’s not your fault.”- I replied without even hesitating for a second. - “It’s not your fault, chipmunk.”- I repeated in a softer tone of voice. - “Did you have dinner?”

- “No… I’m not hungry. You?”

- “Neither… I just wanted to come to my room and talk to you.” 

- “You should eat, honey bunny. You need to be strong to think straight and solve that case so you can come home soon.”

- “You should eat too. You need to be strong to take care of our baby girl.”- (Y/N) didn’t reply, instead, she chuckled softly.  

- “She fell asleep.”- she whispered and I smiled, closing my eyes, relieved. 

- “It’s good to know that even from another state I can bore my daughter till she falls asleep.”

- “She relaxes when she hears you”- my wife explained. - “She knows it’s you since she was still in my womb.”  

- “I wanna be there with you two.” 

- “We miss you. I wanna cuddle with you.” 

- “I wanna do more than just cuddle with you.”- I replied in a lower voice and heard my wife giggling. 

- “Dirty daddy, talking like that to mommy.”- and those names did something to me. Something that made me feel like a perv. 

- “Get some sleep, honey bunny.”- (Y/N) suggested. - “I’m gonna put Raven in her crib and make me a sandwich or something.” 

- “Yes, ma cherie. I love you.” 

- “I love you more. Talk to you tomorrow, ok?”

(Y/N)’s point of view 

Day two without Spencer was messy. Raven woke me up six times during that night. And the following morning, when she finally closed her eyes and I tried to get some sleep, Spencer called and then I couldn’t go back to bed, so I decided to do laundry and get some cleaning done around the house before Raven woke up. Of course, my daughter woke up before I could get anything finished, and I had to carry her around the house as I did the dishes, folded clean underwear, and put away the trash. 

Frank and Lu stopped by after lunch and kept me company and sane for a while. Spencer texted and told me they were closer to cracking the case, which gave me hope. It was a three-hour flight between home and Texas, he could be there by dinner if things went well. 

But they didn’t. 

Instead of Spencer’s call around eight, I got one from Penelope. And it was the call that confirmed my biggest fear. 

- “Munchkin, I’m so sorry.”- Garcia was crying as she tried to explain what had happened. My heart nearly stopped as soon I heard the state she was in. That couldn't be good news.

- “What is it? What happened to Spencer?”- I freaked out right away and held Raven closer to me, in an attempt to remain sane. Only one thing would make Penelope call me in that state, and I feared the worst right away. 

- “He was shot in the neck. They are taking him to the hospital now.”

I don't think I could ever explain what happened to me that second. I know I would have gone mental if it wasn't for my baby in my arms. My stomach dropped and my hands started shaking, but I knew I had to be strong for Raven.

I didn’t hesitate. I did the SSA thing to do and remained logical and somehow not completely hysterical. I dropped the phone and grabbed Raven’s bag, my purse, and got into the car. In twenty minutes I was in Quantico, and in half an hour I was in Garcia’s office, trying to understand what had happened. My baby daughter looked at me as I held her against my chest in her carrier, her chocolate eyes wide open, staring at the tears that kept falling from my face, no matter how badly I tried to stop them. 

It was the first fucking case Spencer had been a part of after becoming a father. And all I knew was that he had been shot.

- “I convinced Cruz to take me to Texas to put an eye on Reid.”- Garcia announced as she stood up from her desk and I grabbed my bag immediately. 

- “We are going with you.”

- “What? No! You are not! My goddaughter can’t travel to Texas, out of the blue! you would…”

- “I don’t think you get this, Pen. I am not asking you if I can come. I am going with you to be with my husband. Now!” 

- “Munchkin… this is…”

- “I’m not gonna be ok until I see he is safe and sound. So let’s go, now!”

Yes, I was harsh and it wasn’t fair on Penelope, ‘cos it wasn’t her fault my husband had been shot. But for once, I was losing my sanity. All I wanted was to be next to my husband, hold his hand, and kiss his lips. I needed to hear his laughter and stare into his beautiful eyes. The same eyes his daughter had inherited, and that stared at me as I made my way to the elevator, following Penelope and Cruz, on our way to the jet. 

The trip was eternal, the longest three hours of my life. I was glad Raven behaved like a princess and didn’t cry during take-off. She got a little fuzzy at the end, but Garcia helped me carry her and change diapers during the trip. I felt quite guilty, now looking back in time. I wasn’t in my right mind. I was losing it, honestly. I was scared to death of anything happening to Spencer. I knew the risk was part of our job, but I wasn’t ready to deal with it. Not with a two-month-old baby girl in my arms that needed her dad as much as I needed him. I don't know how to live without Spencer. And honestly, I don’t want to learn how to. 

When Pen, Cruz, and I reached the hospital, we found JJ and Blake, waiting for news of Spencer's surgery. The two of them hugged us tight and kissed Raven’s sleepy head. 

- “How is he?”- I asked right away and Blake sighed, exhausted, as she explained. 

- “Still in surgery.”

- “You all can see Agent Morgan now.”- one nurse announced and Garcia and JJ stood up right away. Blake turned to me and my baby and whispered. 

- “Well, if you don't mind, I'd really like to stay here.”

- “We’d love the company.”- I replied and felt her hand on mine. She was freezing cold.  

- “The second you hear anything, call me.”- JJ said as she stood up and walked away with the nurse and Cruz. 

- “Hey, I’ll be right back”- Garcia whispered and cut me a short smile. I just nodded and watched them walk away. 

- “How are you holding up?”- Blake asked and I chuckled, tears filling my eyes right away. 

- “I’m literally holding the only person that can keep me sane right now.”- I whispered and looked at my sleepy baby in my arms- “I just… can’t… I could never live without him.” 

- “You won’t have to. I am sure he is going to be ok.”

I stayed in silence and just nodded. Blake and I didn’t say another word for a long time, as we waited for anyone to come and give us news of my husband’s health. 

As we waited, I called my mom and texted Lu, Mikey, and Frank to tell them what was going on. I felt so alone in that hospital room. Though Hotch and Rossi had stopped by to hug us on their way out, and even when Blake and eventually also Garcia were sitting right next to me, I felt so lonely it was insane. My mother freaked out, of course. Not only because Spencer was in surgery, but because I had traveled alone with Raven to be with him. Lu, Mikey, and Frank were just as scared as I was and made me promise to call as soon as I had news of Spencer’s condition.

- “Agent”- after what felt like an eternity, a doctor walked over to us and we stood up to hear the news. 

- “How is my husband?”- I asked immediately, and realized I had to clarify- “How is agent Reid.”

- “Incredibly lucky. Two millimeters to the right the bullet would have torn through the carotid artery. It nicked some smaller vessels, but we've stopped the bleeding.”- I sighed, relieved, and kissed Raven’s head, as she kept sleeping against my chest. 

- “You can see him now.”- he announced, and I started walking right away. Blake followed close behind, calling JJ to update her on Spencer’s status. 

My husband was unconscious after surgery. He was pale, his hair was a mess, and it was heartbreaking just staring at him. I ran my fingers through his messy hair as Penelope set some of his favorite Dr. Who dolls that he kept on his desk, on a table in front of him, so he could look at them as soon as he woke up. Blake sat next to him and Garcia stood at one corner of the room, staring outside the window for a moment. Raven was asleep in her baby wrap carrier, drooling against my chest. 

I felt so useless as I sat on Spencer’s bed and held his hand, waiting for him to wake up. I also finally understood why mom hated dad’s job so much, and why she had decided to divorce him. They were still in love with each other when they divorced, maybe they still were until that day. But mom decided she had had enough of his work and took a step aside. 

After two hours, or so, Spencer finally opened his eyes. I was breastfeeding Raven, still sitting on one side of his bed when he woke up. He looked confused and in a lot of pain, but still, he smiled as soon as he saw me and Raven next to him. 

- “I’m sorry, chipmunk.”- he whispered as I leaned and kissed his lips a couple of times. 

- “We were so afraid.”- I sobbed, caressing his cheeks over and over again. I hadn’t realized I was crying until that moment. I was tired of keeping the tears to myself because I don’t like crying in front of people. But I couldn’t do it anymore. It was just too much. 

- “I’m so, so sorry.”- Spencer whispered again. I tried to cut him a short smile as I shushed him with two fingers on my dry lips, the ones he kissed right away, making my heart skip a beat. 

- “Don’t worry, we are here now, with you. We are gonna take care of you.”- Spencer nodded at my words and sighed. He looked at Raven for a moment and then turned to Alex and Garcia. 

- “Thank you for being here.” 

- “No problem.”- Blake whispered with tears in her eyes as Garcia jumped on her spot and announced she was going to get my husband something to eat, to keep him strong. 

- “Can I hold her?”- Spencer asked me. I nodded and placed Raven on his chest, and watched how the two of them seemed to find a peace no one else could give them. Their bond has always been strong, ever since she was still inside me, and it has only grown stronger with time. 

- “How did you get here?”- Spencer whispered and I just shook my head. 

- “I might need to apologize to Garcia, ‘cos I kinda yelled at her. She convinced Cruz to take us with him to Texas as soon as we heard what happened.”- I confessed and bit my lip embarrassed. Blake turned to me and smiled sweetly. 

- “I’m sure she is not mad at you, (Y/N). She was just as worried as we were all.” 

- “When this comes off, I’m gonna look just like Boris Karloff”- my husband joked, pointing at the bandage on his neck. Blake and I chuckled and nodded. 

- “Yeah, a little green makeup and you’ll have the best Halloween costume ever.”- she added and I smiled, picturing Spencer as Frankenstein. He closed his eyes for a moment, and it ached my heart to think he was in pain or relieving the whole incident in his head over and over again. 

- “Everybody is fine.”- Alex assured him - “Don’t worry.” 

- “I’m not…”- he replied, caressing Raven’s back with his hand sweetly. But we both knew he was lying. Blake turned to me and I just shook my head. 

- “You’ve got that furrowed brow.”- but before I could argue with him any longer, Garcia walked into the room with a tray filled with food as she kept talking on the phone with the team, I was sure. 

- “Will you look who's still awake!”- she smiled and brightened the room, like the ray of sunshine she is- “Can you tell her she can go now, please?”- Garcia asked my husband, and looked at Blake.

- “I'm ok, Alex. Go help the team.”- she nodded and held Spencer’s hand one more time as she said

- “All right. I'm out of here. I'm glad you're awake.”

- “Thank you.”- my husband smiled at her and watched her walk out of the room. 

- “Ok now.”- Garcia placed the food in front of my husband- “Juice, broth, or Jell-O?”- I knew exactly what Spencer was going to pick.

- “Jell-o, my favorite!”

- “Let me take Raven so you can sit down.”- I moved and grabbed our baby daughter, who immediately started arguing she didn’t want to be away from her dad. 

- “I can’t believe how bossy this little angel can be.”- Garcia joked as she looked at her. 

- “Just like her mom.”- Spencer teased and I gasped, pretending to be surprised. 

- “How dare you?”- my husband smiled, masking the pain he clearly was in. I walked Raven across the room as he stared at us in silence, and Garcia grabbed her laptop and continued talking on the phone with JJ. I honestly didn’t pay much attention to what she was saying, I didn’t want to know much of the case. I just wanted to take Spencer back home with us. 

- “Eat your jell-o”- I whispered and turned to my husband, who sighed and grabbed the spoon.- “Mom asked me to call her as soon as you woke up. I should let her know you are ok.”

- “Why did you tell her what happened?”- Spencer frowned and started arguing immediately. - “It wasn’t…”

- “It was. And you are ok now. That’s all that matters.”- he didn’t debate, probably ‘cos he could read on my face how worried I had been, the lack of sleep, and the relief I felt to see he was getting better. Instead of talking, he finished his jello and I fixed his pillow. 

- “I’ll be right back, I need coffee. Do you guys need anything?”- Garcia announced as she stood up and left her computer on the chair. 

- “Thank you, I’m ok.”

- “Can you put Raven in bed with me?”- Spencer asked as he got ready to sleep. His daughter was pretty much doing the same thing, so I carefully placed her on his chest again and watched him covering her with his blanket. 

- “I’m gonna text mom. Get lots of rest, ok? I’ll be here when you wake up.”- I kissed my husband goodnight and smiled at him as he sighed one more time. 

- “I love you, Mrs. Reid. I’m sorry I made you worry.”- his voice was a soft whisper, filled with concern and regret.  

- “I love you too, Dr. Reid. In sickness and health, remember? That includes bullets, poisoning, and any field injury we haven’t gotten yet.”- I joked and kissed him one more time. He smiled and closed his eyes, caressing Raven’s back carefully. 

My whole family was there in that hospital room, and even when circumstances weren’t the best, I felt at peace knowing the three of us were safe and together. 

Though apparently, the concept of “safe” wasn’t going to last long. A few minutes later, when Spencer and Raven were completely asleep and I was texting my mom, Garcia walked in and closed the door behind her back as she kept talking with someone on the phone, clearly freaking out.

- “Ok, I did that, now what?”- she said and I looked at her, frowning, confused. - “Yes, yes I can do that.” - she took a look around the room quickly and stared at a wheelchair - “Yes!”

- “What’s going on?”- I stood up and looked at her. 

- “That’s not going to be easy.”- she ignored me and kept talking with who I later found out was Derek. 

- “Pen? What is it?”

- “Oh my god, what?”- she kept gasping and her eyes watered up in a second, stopping my heart and putting me in total alert. - “Ok.”- she finally put herself together and hung up the phone. 

- “Garcia, what is going on?”

- “We need to take Reid out of here.”- she commanded as she put the wheelchair next to his bed.- “Take Raven and help me wake him up.”

- “What the fuck is happening?”- I didn't get why moving my wounded husband was necessary.

- “Bad things, munchkin. We have to keep Spencer safe from the corrupted police force in town.”

- “What?!”- I didn't hesitate and moved as quickly as possible to put Raven on the carrier. Penelope woke Spencer up and asked him to get in the wheelchair, as fast as possible. My poor husband was so lost he didn’t get what was happening and didn’t ask much. He was more worried for Raven’s and my safety than his own. 

Once we managed to put him on the chair, Garcia took him out immediately and pulled the fire alarm on her way out. I followed her with my baby, trying to remember if things had been that crazy before. Yes, they were. And they got even crazier.

Spencer’s point of view  

I still remember the moment I got shot in the neck while in my very first time on the field after Raven was born. I was trying to cover Alex from the shooting when I felt the pain knock me back and my head hit the ground.

Bullets were coming from everywhere, and all I could think of at that minute was of my baby daughter, and how I had been so stupid to get shot. I couldn’t leave her alone, I had just become a dad. I had so much to do with her. I wanted to hear her first words and watch her first steps. Take her to her first school day. There was so much left of fatherhood to discover, I couldn’t die that day. 

- “Ethan! Ethan! Open your eyes!”- I knew Blake was talking to me, but I didn’t know why she was calling me that name. That was the last thing I recall and the next thing I knew, I was in an ambulance with Morgan. Then, my mind went blank until I woke up in a hospital bed, and (Y/N) was sitting next to me, breastfeeding Raven. The sight made me wonder if I was in heaven because she looked like an angel holding a tiny cherub. 

I felt my wife’s embrace and her tears on my skin as she held me close. I wished I could hold her, but moving was still too painful for me. So I did what I could, and caressed her cheek and Raven’s head. I felt so guilty when I saw how concerned she was, and I could only imagine what she had thought when she got the news I had been shot. How has she gotten to Texas so quickly? How long had I been out? I wanted to ask a million questions, but at the minute, all I managed to do was apologize to her for getting hurt. 

Alex and Garcia were there too. I still wanted to ask Alex who Ethan was, but I figured she might not like to share that in front of everybody. Garcia kept working, and soon after I woke up, Alex left to join the team with the investigation. It was clear something was very wrong when (Y/N) and Pen asked me to get in a wheelchair, and Garcia explained the details as we waited outside the hospital. Apparently, the entire police force was corrupted and wanted to kill me to cover their tracks. 

- “He is gone. They are letting us back in.”- once we were taken back to the hospital, Garcia called Morgan to update him. - “I lost a couple of karma points, but yeah, I did it.”

- “Are you ok, chipmunk?”- I asked my wife as we re-entered the room, Raven was starting to get fuzzy and I calculated it was time for her feeding. 

- “Yeah, we are just fine, honey. You just get some rest, ok?”- my wife smiled at me and sat on a couch on the other side of the room to feed our baby. I got back into my bed and stared at her in adoration, as Garcia announced Morgan was on his way to the hospital. 

- “Are you ok?”- Garcia asked and helped me fix the covers on my bed. 

- “I’m just very tired.”- I confessed and sighed, exhausted after that day. 

- “Of course you are. You need to get some sleep.”- and just as she said those words, a male nurse walked in with my chart. - “Oh, but how can you sleep? 'Cause you're in a hospital where people are always poking you.”

- “He had his meds an hour ago.”- (Y/N) pointed out from the couch and the nurse turned to her with a look I didn’t really like. 

- “Yeah, post-op antibiotics.”

- “Yeah, he had those, too.”- Garcia added 

- “Which ones?”- I asked and tried to read the name on the bottle the nurse was holding. - “Carbenicillin? No, that's not right. I have a severe reaction to beta-lactams. I can't have that.”- I argued as the nurse simply took a look at the notes and shook his head. 

- “That's not in your chart.”- and after those words, he proceeded to add it to my IV. 

- “What are you doing? What are you doing?”- I freaked out right away, knowing how bad that was gonna be for me if it reached my blood. I took the needle from my arm, and slapped the antibiotic from his hands just the minute I saw a gun hidden in the back of his pants. 

And my baby daughter was in the same room. That was all I could think of. 

- “Garcia! He has a gun!”- I yelled- “Chipmunk! protect Raven!”

And just like that, there was a gunshot. I heard my baby crying and looked around me. (Y/N) had our daughter’s ears covered against her chest and hands and stared at me in shock. Garcia wasn't moving. She was holding my gun with both hands as if her life depended on it. As it did. 

- “He's moving.”- Penelope whispered, terrified and one second later, Morgan walked into the room that second and pointed his gun at the nurse. 

- “Chipmunk, stay right there. Are you and Raven ok?”- I whispered and looked at my wife. Her eyes moved from me to the nurse on the floor and then to Raven, and back to me, scared.  

- “Yes… you?”- she was still stunned, and holding our daughter as close to her chest as possible. 

- “I didn't know how loud. I can't hear, 'cause my heart feels like it's gonna come out. Can that happen?”- Garcia was rambling, shocked- “ Physically, can your heart burst out of your chest? And what is this ringing? My ears don't pop for like a week after I fly, and if this is like that, that's gonna drive me bonkers. Am I yelling? Because it feels like I might be yelling.” 

- “You saved my life.”- I turned to her and took the gun from her hands as she stared at me with an astonished look in her eyes, and didn’t say another word- “Can you hear me?”

- “Yeah, I heard that. That makes it better. Thank you for saying that.”

- “Thank you for doing it.”- and as tears fell from her eyes, she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. 

- “Ok. You're ok.”- she whispered as I held her tight. Then I stood up and walked to the couch, where (Y/N) was still sitting, unable to move as she held Raven. 

- “Are you ok?”- she whispered as tears filled her eyes. I nodded and sat next to her, and in a second, she was crawling to my lap. I held her closer to me, feeling her and Raven’s breathing. Our baby kept crying for a few more minutes until I held her and kissed her chubby cheeks. My wife stared at me, shaking, and Morgan helped Garcia sit down for a minute. 

- “I wanna go home.”- (Y/N) whispered and looked at me with tears in her eyes. 

- “Me too, Chipmunk.” 

It took a few more hours until the team finally wrapped the case, and killed the unsub. That very same night we took the jet back home. I couldn’t wait to be back in Washington, in our apartment, in our bed. (Y/N) and Raven sat with me on our usual seat at the back of the jet and fell asleep in my arms. I was so exhausted after the case and surgery, I didn’t even fight the slumber, I just closed my eyes and hummed content to have my family with me. 

Blake helped us get home that night. She drove our car over to our apartment, ‘cos we were all too exhausted to drive ourselves. She helped us upstairs with our bags, and as soon as I opened the front door, I realized she had never been in our house before. 

- “Are you sure you are ok?”- Alex asked me and raised an eyebrow. 

- “I feel great. Ok, that's overselling it.”- I tried to joke- “I, uh, I feel great considering I just got shot in the neck.”

- “I’m gonna put Raven in her crib.”- (Y/N) whispered and walked to our room holding our baby daughter. 

- “Where do you want this?”- Alex asked, taking a look around the place. 

- “Any… right there is fine.”- I pointed at the empty space next to the couch and she just left the bags there. 

- “Ok. So, you should get some sleep.”- Blake stood in front of me and sighed. 

- “You all right?”- I asked straight away 

- “Yesterday touched a nerve when I saw you like that.”- she simply confessed. So I had to push her a little more. 

- “Who's Ethan?”

- “My son.”- I widened my eyes in shock. I never knew she had a son- “He was nine when he died. Doctors said it was neurological, but they didn't have a name for it. Still don't. That drove me crazy. No word to put to this thing that took away my greatest love.” 

- “I'm sorry.”- that was the best I could do, ‘cos honestly, I didn't know what else to say. 

- “He kept growing despite his disease. The last time I lay beside him he was almost as long as me. He was ready to go. But I wasn't ready to say goodbye.”- her voice broke at that last word, so she made a pause to compose herself, I guess. - “I begged him to open his eyes. And the cruelest part was that I could see who he would be at 20, but I knew he'd never get there.” 

- “Ethan is a great name.”- I don’t know why I said that, but it was the only thing I could think of that minute. Blake smiled and nodded. 

- “Yeah. It means enduring.”

- “It's fitting. You and James never let go of one another.”- Blake shook her head and sighed. She grabbed her things and walked to the door. But before she opened it, I asked her 

- “Have you ever had that feeling that your future is somehow behind you?” 

- “All the time.”- she replied right away, holding the doorknob. I heard Raven’s coos as I figured (Y/N) was changing her diaper. I looked over the room, though I couldn’t see any of them from the living room. 

- “I did, too. But it isn't.”- I replied to Alex, and she just smiled and nodded. 

- “Ethan would have been a lot like you.”

- “Thank you for being there when I woke up. That meant a lot.”- I confessed, feeling inside me that was the last time I was going to be able to thank her. 

- “Of course.” 

And just like that, she left the apartment.

- “Bye, Alex.”- I whispered as I stood there, still for a few seconds. Until my wife spared in the hall and held my hand. 

- “Where is Alex?  I was gonna make us some tea.” 

- “She is gone, Chipmunk. But I’d love some tea.”- I looked at her and kissed her lips slowly, feeling her humming against my body. 

- “Then I’ll make you a nice cup, honey bunny.” 

I stared at my wife walking to the kitchen and followed her as she boiled some water and took two mugs from the cupboard. She smiled at me and grabbed two bags of lavender tea as I stood behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. 

- “Are you ok?”- (Y/N) asked and placed her hands on mine. 

- “I love you, chipmunk.” 

- “I love you more, honey.” 

- “Sorry everything got so messy.” 

- “You are home safe. That’s all that matters.” 

As we stood there together, in comfortable silence, waiting for the water to boil, I sighed and remembered a Joseph Campbell quote: "We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

And that phrase really stuck with me during the years, because that injury was the first time I honestly thought I should leave the BAU and focus on my family, and I guess, it was the first step that led us to today, our last day at the FBI. Today (Y/N) and I are gonna get rid of the life we planned before getting married and have the life we are waiting to live with our kids. 

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[myvirtuesuncounted]

my full review of ttpd (a month late, shhh)

tw opinions. if you like a song that i don't or vice versa or you don't agree with a comment i made, good for you! get it off your chest, get it off my desk!

fortnight

One of Taylor’s weaker openers, it’s a nice song, not much going on though

the production is boppy, not much going on once again

Interesting how Taylor sees her muse as living a good life without her and a nice domestic scene with his wife watering flowers but for her, her husband is cheating on her, implying she thinks she will never be happy, maybe because of how this relationship went or her general perception of relationships and her experiences with them. That is my interpretation of the song.

The outro with post and taylor's harmonies SLAPS

Like I said, this song feels a bit lacking of substance both thematically and technically, it doesn't do it for me, i don't hate listening to it, i just don't love it.

i think it might be a song that grows on me over time but it won't ever be a fave for me.

i also think in light of the music video, it's lost some of its spark for me, as that music video made no sense to me. i don't think it deserved to be a single.

the tortured poets department

“You left your typerwriter at my apartment, straight from the tortured poets department” implying that this thing of which she is now part had been introduced to her by the muse

The muse has probably compared them to poets like Dylan Thomas and Patti Smith and probably romanticised their relationship into the work of a tortured poet, but that’s not real life.

Taylor brings back to reality that now because of his self sabotage that brought both of them down in this relationship, he has lost the one who will decode him, hold him, know him

the above are just little analyses i like making as i listen to the song, they have nothing to do about whether i like the song or not, it's just me trying to make sense of it. you'll see that a lot.

i do not like the charlie puth line. at all. why is it there?

also don't like the tattooed golden retriever line, the image of a tattooed golden retriever is terrifying.

i was so off-guard about the namedropping in this song, sorry i had no idea who dylan thomas or patti smith were.

this song is trying too hard to be poetic, i think (which one could argue is the whole point of this song), but it doesn't stand out much to me. the themes are interesting though.

this is a pretty weak title track, personally. i feel like it doesn't encapsulate the essence of the album (which i am confused about tbh, ttpd has a lot of aesthetics going on for itself). it has nothing on little fearless and evermore.

my boy only breaks his favourite toys

so we all thought this song would be pretty petty, but i honestly don't think it is extremely so. there's a sort of pity for the muse, that the breaking of his 'favourite toys' is a form of self sabotage and that they could've had it all.

i love how it starts so defeated, "oh here we go again", which i think is in reference to the muse's self sabotage ruining her life

it also feels a bit reflective and nostalgic of the fact that it wasn't all bad, which i quite liked. i liked the contrast of feelings.

"once i fix me, he's gonna miss me" is a devastating line btw

so is "he saw forever so he smashed it up"

song is a bop, i like the lyricism, overall i enjoy this song :)

down bad

i enjoy the cunty synth here ahaha. for all the jokes the fandom makes about jack fucking around with the synth while taylor sings the most soulcrushing lyrics, it is so real especially for this song.

taylor has never sounded so good while swearing. "fuck it if i can't have us" is such an earworm.

i feel like this is the most petty song in the album, mainly because of the "teenage petulance" in the lyrics

the callback to new romantics in the bridge is so insane, i noticed it immediately.

the production is so mystical and giving space alien vibes, i enjoy it.

so long, london

the intro is giving big ben bells and/or wedding bells

the fast beat vs the slow melodies is such an interesting juxtaposition (to my lit teacher, i hope i used this word right XD). i think it really highlights the conflicting feelings this song explores ("i'm just mad as hell 'cause i loved this place") and also how taylor isn't able to keep up with how quickly the relationship is dying (the production) and she's still sifting through her feelings to find acceptance (the melody)

"how much sad did you think i had" something something "how long can we be a sad song" something something "don't want no other shade of blue but you"

the bridge is just the most devastating strike to my heart

"you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days" is one of my favourite lyrics on this album

track 5 is track 5ing

this song is a masterpiece, i genuinely love it so much

but daddy i love him

get this song out of my face, i hate it so much. blocked on spotify.

why did taylor have to waste good lyricism and production on such an awful premise and "fuck you" to her fans dishing valid criticism of her association with matty?

the baby line is hilarious though, because i did indeed fall for it the first time

like you can talk about taylor's agency all you want but everyone knows what the implications of this song are and i feel hurt and offended that this is the attitude both taylor and some swifties are taking.

"the most judgemental creeps" um, is this fucking play about us?

fresh out the slammer

her voice sounds beautiful in this

love the country twang in the production

it's giving getaway car thematically

i think it's interesting to see this song so soon after so long, london, where she says she was "going down with [the ship]" but she was literally dreaming about running into the arms of another man and was "[doing her] time". like ok girl!

vibey song but not for me. i don't have much to say on this.

florida!!!

IMMEDIATE FAVE, i had claimed this since day 1 and i was so right

cunty production, i can tell florence had a lot of influence. no more synths! bring out the drums!

at first, i had no idea what was happening in this song, but when taylor talked about it being about reinventing yourself, it made a lot more sense to me and i love that interpretation, it rings so true.

can i be honest and say that i thought it said "arms" not "home", like that doesn't even make sense 😭

florence's verse fucking slays, my only gripe is that her voice in the verse is kinda quiet compared to the instrumental. could've used some better mixing here.

"me and my ghosts had a hell of a time" is a banger of a line

the bridge is immaculate, has been in my head since i first listened to it.

this song is amazing, there is nothing like it, pure perfection. top song on the album.

guilty as sin?

obsessed with the beat

hedge maze = labyrinth = the mind, idk i just loved that connection

we have reached the ovulation song lmao

did you know it took me so long to realise the chorus was talking about masturbation? like i knew the song was horny, but i didn't realise it was THAT horny.

i think i called this a mature, sadder false god in my notes. that uncertain, sensual, desiring tone is probably what motivated that connection in my head.

WHAT IF HE'S WRITTEN MINE ON MY UPPER THIGH ONLY IN MY MIIIIIND

the bridge is so beautiful, i am a sucker for religious imagery.

overall i'm obsessed, beat good, lyricism good, i love it

who's afraid of little old me?

now i know this is the fan favourite, and i understand why. it gives an eery, angry vibe, and i also enjoy it. to some extent.

namely, the part i enjoy most is the circus imagery, i liked how she leaned into the circus animal metaphor to depict her struggles in fame and her relationships. it's like a badly behaved circus animal about to be put down absolutely losing it and raging about its plight, which i enjoy as a means of storytelling and expressing emotion. i also enjoy it as a callback to mirrorball and what happens when the mirrorball finally has had enough of shattering in a million pieces and performing for a largely uncaring crowd.

... which is why i don't like the asylum lyric. to me, it doesn't add in anything significant thematically when the rest of the song hardly has similar strains of discussion. not to mention the ableist overtones and trivialisation of the asylum experience but i just don't like this lyric. it weakens the premise of the song.

the production is also off in some places, it feels muted and underwhelming compared to the premise of the song.

it's an okay song, i 100% like the acoustic demo better that she came out with recently. some changes in production and the omission of that asylum lyric would put it higher up for me.

i can fix him (no really i can)

good thing this song is short because she couldn't fix him at all and i don't like this song.

"the jokes that he told across the bar were revolting and far too loud" euphemism for bigoted, taylor?

production is boring, the melody is also pretty boring. the lyrics are good, but not enough to save the song, in my humble opinion (it is after all my review here)

"good boy, that's right" taylor GET UP

the 'woah maybe i can't' is funny though, i'll give her that

loml

slayed, devoured, left no crumbs, left me emotionally devastated

the lyricism is absolutely beautiful, the sadness is tangible

the first time i listened to this, i was on the train, and i was so emotional, it was the perfect music to stare out the window to.

the impressionist painting line is also absolutely brilliant, took me out when i heard it. one of the best lyrics on the album.

the bridge and outro are the reasons i need therapy, destroyed me

loss of my life theorists won but at what cost.

i think some of taylor's simplest songs melodically have some of the most beautiful prose and emotional connection, i think she needs to tap into that more.

10/10 no notes.

i can do it with a broken heart

extreme whiplash hearing this after loml. similar whiplash to what taylor felt, i think, going on tour after such a heartbreak

someone pointed out that the almost metronomic beat and the faint counting in the background is like what taylor hears in her in-ear monitor on tour and i think that's really cool.

obsessed with this song so much

it has been stuck in my head since i first heard it

i never expected this to be the cuntiest song on the album but i am not disappointed at all.

"i cry a lot but i am so productive" is so mecore if i was actually productive

the ad libs at the end are also perfect

is it just me or can i hear crowd noises in the background?? am i imagining this??

i'm afraid the fandom is gravely misunderstanding this song. some are saying that taylor hates us because we were "shouting 'more!' " when she was feeling like this. some are saying that she doesn't resent us at all and that this song absolves us completely. those are both two extremes and my interpretation lies somewhere in the middle. this is not a callout to fans but also some factions of the fandom were (or are) being assholes demanding reputation tv and double albums all the time. acknowledge the nuance.

10/10 obsessed, fave song after florida!!!

the smallest man who ever lived

this song is good.

bridge of all time, indeed, she went OFF

the verses feel a bit meh to me but i love the chorus.

"you didn't measure up in any measure of a man" HAHA TAYLOR IT TOOK ME A SECOND TO GET THE DOUBLE ENTENDRE

this song is indeed petty, but it also feels defeated to me? like taylor just sounds tired of it all and quite hurt, that's what i got from it.

i also love the performance of this song on the eras tour. she is marching with an army and they keep taking hits throughout the song, until she eventually falls at the end. something something "the great war" something something "fighting with only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me", etc.

the alchemy

i feel a little let down by this song? because from the name, i assumed this song would be using the concept of alchemy being a medieval science of turning things into gold or finding a universal cure as a metaphor for a broken/dying relationship.

also i don't understand how this is meant to be a love song, sounds really sad to me? like almost defeatist in terms of how the relationship.

why am i being bombarded by football metaphors?

i mean, it sort of plays on the idea of alchemy being a sort of magical transformation, but to me, it just feels like a synonym for chemistry.

" 'cause the sign on your heart says it's still reserved for me" is a cute lyric though.

it's quite formulaic as a song and there's not much going on for me. anyway.

clara bow

i really enjoy the concept of this song being the torch of fame being passed onto different women, from clara bow to stevie nicks to taylor swift to whoever's next.

once again, it's quite simple melodically, but this is where she shines! the typewriter while she was writing this must have been on fire!!

i also love how it plays on the concept of being put onto a pedestal as a famous woman and how you're only appealing until people decide you're not

"it's hell on earth to be heavenly" is such a perfect lyric.

the namedrop of herself GAGGED me on first listen, i was amazed.

it's a perfect closer to the first half, putting everything into the perspective of her fame and passing the torch onto something else because society has decided out with old, in with the new.

the black dog

the thing about the location settings makes me so ill, he didn't even think to turn it off for her. they probably shared locations to make sure they could check up on each other, and it was still on. it is such a tiny thing but so devastating.

the buildup on "old habits die screaming" ohhhhh this is amazing

the best laid plans... hoax...

"i still miss the smoke" people are making parallels to daylight but my first thought was lavender haze, like missing the lavender haze, you know?

the priest lyric is so devastating if you think about the fact that taylor thought she'd be meeting a priest about this relationship for a different, happier reason...

obsessed with this song, it's so beautiful.

the quietness of the verses and the loudness of the chorus, i am genuinely entranced, it is cinema.

imgonnagetyouback

do not ask me to compare this song with olivia rodrigo's "get him back", they're both on different levels thematically and tonally even though they use the same double entendre.

what narcotics did she put in this bridge XD

so boppy, and sensual, i adore it

i remember going on a long search for the literary device that is present in "i hear the whispers in your eyes", decided it was antithesis with the help of my followers. not at all relevant, but wanted to add it.

the albatross

i can make a lot of parallels to peace with this song.

it's so eery and mythical, i love it, treats taylor like a fable, an urban legend.

aaron dessner is a fucking legend, i am loving the production on the anthology

my folkmore girlie self is loving the anthology for real

i love the bait and switch to "fake news", exposing these rumours for simply that, and saying that she's not the dangerous one, the "jackals rais[ing] their hackles" are.

i am always a sucker for when taylor changes from third person to first person narration, it's so important to me. bait-and-switch, you are everything to me.

10/10 no notes.

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus

heartbreakingly beautiful. just a general melancholy around the breaking down of a relationship and is so so perfect.

the hologram lyric is not about cheating at all. the relationship is long gone, this is taylor envisioning her muse in a new relationship but she isn't there, hence the hologram. i've seen some people say it was about cheating, that interpretation doesn't make sense to me.

"you turned me into an idea of sorts" -> "the idea you had of me, who was she?"

random thought, but the lyricism on the anthology is so much better and natural as compared to the first half. i enjoy the bops on the first half but it also suffers from trying too much to be poetic (i think i said this about the title track especially). there are so many overloaded lyrical runs and random references that leave me confused and overwhelmed. the anthology however feels so much more quintessentially taylor.

don't have much to say on the song itself, i quite like it.

how did it end?

the intro literally makes me ascend!!

i really love how this song investigates and criticises the inherent curiosity people have around big news like a breakup, constantly probing for details.

once again, the simpler songs contain the best lyricism and melodies!!

this song both explains and expresses confusion about the end of the relationship, so i love the paradoxical nature of that.

"we learn the right steps to different dances" is such a devastating line and i think sums up the end of many relationships so succinctly.

the second chorus is giving right where you left me: "did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?" etc.

THE BRIDGE, TAYLOR HOW DO YOU DO IT

the d-y-i-n-g part is just so devastating. taylor uses the themes of death and haunting so well on this album.

i know i've said this like 10 times, but this is just so so beautiful.

so high school

the guitar in the background is giving hits different, it hits different when it's you!!

despite the happy tone and lyrics, i do feel the sad, anxious undertone, the key example being the marry, kiss, or kill me part (the echoed "kill me", "it's just a game but really")

the aristotle and grand theft auto line has been used countlessly to shit on taylor's songwriting, and personally, i don't like this line. just doesn't hit right for me. however, i think it's unfair to pick cringe lyrics and ignore all the beautiful, meaningful ones to shit on taylor.

i do love the imagery with high school games like truth or dare and spin the bottle, really cements the "so high school" of it all.

this song is okay to me, it feels too american for me to enjoy it more lmao.

i hate it here

i love the poet and finance guy line at the beginning, it expresses a sort of desperation to get to know this person, to uncover their insecurities, deepest secrets, and love them anyway. it may also be introspective of taylor herself, idk.

calling comfort a construct is so quietly sad. convincing yourself since you've never had it, it can't be real because it's better than being cursed or doomed to never have it (see the prophecy)

this song is so escapist, but also so cynical about the escapism, it clearly isn't a preferred option, like it's not just escaping into childhood and nostalgia for the sake of it, it's because the real world fucking sucks.

the chorus slays, and is quite relatable.

the use of the word "precocious" is so interesting to me. she used it also in "but daddy i love him" if i remember correctly. like she resonates a lot with the feeling of being stunted in childhood or having seemed to never grow up -> "i have this thing where i get older but just never wiser" -> "i never grew up, it's getting so old" -> "i hit my peak at seven", idk i find it an interesting recurring theme in taylor's discography.

the 1830s line, and just that entire first half of the verse. i know why it's there, i know what it's doing, i know it's not meant to be taken seriously. still i don't like it. it also feels weird that she is calling out racism as a staple of the 1830s or whatever when she has shown us she is perfectly fine with dating a racist. you can say i'm being overdramatic. you can say i don't get it. idc. i try to ignore this part because this is a very good song and i love its themes and production.

"nostalgia is a mind's trick" i really love this because the entire song is so nostalgic for childhood and escapism but then she's like "actually nostalgia sucks" or it's not what it seems. no, the past would not have been better.

production feels like seven. themes quite different however (thematically, it would be robin, i think.)

the bridge combats the cynicism of the second verse which is so interesting to me. i love how opposing views on nostalgia and escapism are presented, the nuance is there.

the bridge is so mecore, i feel it in my bones.

thanK you aIMee

i really enjoy the small town as a microcosm for the giant music industry and reducing kim to a bully in this analogy.

this song is so cathartic for me, i really enjoy it in the lens of a friendship breakup.

she's so funny in this song "and so i changed your name and any real defining clues" while clearly spelling out her name in the song title.

the bridge fucking slays, likely thing for taylor to do.

it's such a breath of fresh air to have such a cathartic moment in an album that's largely dealing with huge emotions in huge ways, it's so interesting here as an addition to the anthology.

i look in people's windows

it's such a beautiful song and it's criminal how short it is

her voice sounds heavenly, i love how breathy it is.

it's giving "the outside" which is why i love it so much, i think

i think this not only works as a song grieving the end of a relationship but expressing the feeling of being left out in a current one; i definitely relate to it in that sense.

"does it feel alright not to know me?" is so so heartwrenching, i cannot do this

the prophecy

i am a sucker for mythology references so i'm already drawn in with the title.

once again, the song itself sounds so beautiful.

"i got cursed like eve got bitten" except she didn't get bitten?? the curse came after she ate the forbidden fruit?? i'm a bit confused here

WAIT NVM IT'S THE FACT THAT SHE DIDN'T GET BITTEN THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF THE SIMILE, HEAR ME OUT

saying something so factually incorrect and comparing it to her own experience implies that the latter is ALSO incorrect. she didn't "get cursed", she cursed herself!! which also defies the notion of "the prophecy", ohhhhhh i find this so interesting.

i think the notion of "a greater woman" or "a lesser woman" speaks to the expectations placed around women in relationships, they mustn't appear too desperate for love because that's undesirable but if they are nonchalant, they are also undesirable, it is worth exploring in terms of this song.

this song is so so sad and sadly so so relatable, i definitely find some comfort and resonance in this and it makes me really sad :(

i love the references to mythology and folklore made here, "the pricked hand" very obviously referencing sleeping beauty.

i always love it when taylor repeats the first verse at the end of a song, i think it speaks to the cyclical, circular nature of this specific feeling, that no matter how much she begs and pleads, "the prophecy" will never change.

cassandra

another mythology reference!!!

this being after "the prophecy" is so so deliberate, godssss

the piano is giving "mad woman", which i think is so fitting

"so they killed cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst" that's not actually why cassandra was killed in mythology but go off queen

"they say what doesn't kill you makes you aware" is an unreal run

that being said, i love it when taylor takes common sayings and aphorisms and gives them a twist. she does it a lot in this album, one of my favourite examples being "old habits die screaming" as a twist on "old habits die hard"

"blood's thick but nothin' like a payroll" i am hooked completely oml

10/10 no notes

peter

more folklore references, let's go!!!!

this song is so hauntingly beautiful, the lyricism is so poetic and flows perfectly, genuinely this is what i love about taylor

as a folklore girlie, i am WINNING with the anthology

i can't get over the "jet stream" line here vs "jet stream" in "call it what you want" 🫠

once again, a bridge that fucking slays, how does she keep doing it

it's so interesting how taylor grapples with the concept of childhood and precociousness in this album with so many mentions and callbacks to childhood and feeling stunted as a child and now, it really is an ode to "you're stuck at the age you became famous" (which is sad in many aspects but also problematic in others)

the chorus is also just so perfect, everything about this song is perfect.

the bolter

obsessed does not even cover it

what a banger start to a song

the chorus reminds me a lot of "illicit affairs", i think, interesting connections can be made there

"as she was leaving, it felt like breathing" as in a sigh of relief that it's over, but also she does it so often it is quite literally as quotidian and simple as "breathing"

i love taylor's tendencies to make songs in the third person narrative voice, i think her best storytelling comes out like this.

"there's escape in escaping"- i think this is sort of a commentary on how the identity of "the bolter" is like a coping/defense mechanism to ensure that she doesn't get hurt in a relationship, in that there is an escape from her insecurities, her worries, and the eminent pain she will face in the relationship by quite literally escaping.

but there's also often the bait and switch ("then it was bought by me", "i'm the albatross, i swept in at the rescue") but i find it so interesting that this song does not do that, if only i can make a meaningful analysis there, but my running theory is that she deliberately chooses to distance herself from the identity of "the bolter", bc while she does dote on this character and is rather affectionate in how she tells the story, she doesn't feel like attaching herself to it, in that maybe it's an identity she no longer wants to hold or that, like she frequently says, she doesn't believe these songs or stories are about her anymore and that they take on new meaning..

anyway i am loving this song, 10/10

robin

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS SONG, IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL

it's so sweet how she is consoling the child, ensuring them that they should enjoy this time they have now, and that they will be kept safe from their future.

but it's so sad in that regard, like, "we don't wanna hurt you so we're not telling you how this will pan out to protect your childhood innocence".

this once again cements my preoccupation with taylor's discussions around childhood and youth, she mentions frequently how that was taken away from her too soon and how she has felt "precocious" because of it. it's so important to understand and this song should NOT be overlooked.

i really like it.

the manuscript

this song is so heartbreaking, i want to punch the wall

i never thought about the fact how doing the atw short film would have rekindled these old memories and feelings, and this song is surely a direct result of that. not surprising, in hindsight, but it still compelled me when i first heard it.

once again, youth being taken too soon!! precociousness!!

someone needs to take the word "precocious" away from me

"but the story isn't mine anymore" HHHHHHHHH THIS IS THE WHOLE POINT

very nice song, beautiful closer to the anthology and the entire album as a whole, "these stories used to be about me but now they're about you".

overall thoughts

i hate to say it, but i think this album is in a desperate need of editing; there's so much going on, most of which is compelling and worth exploring, but everything is disjunct with each other and i know this work is meant to feel messy, don't start with me there, but it shouldn't be messy to the point where it's confusing and overwhelming. there are so many concepts and metaphors that are so intriguing and clearly important in taylor's music but the final products of those become half-baked in mediocre production or mixing. this album feels rushed and is soaked with questionable decisions. for example, i think "i can do it with a broken heart" should have been a single and title track because i think it's such a central part of her experiences recently and clearly something permeating the rest of this collection, and how she learns to move on and cope in light of heartbreak. there are several moments where the lyricism of the album feels overwhelming and overcompensating, as in trying too hard to contain meaning. the best lyrical moments on this album are seamless and subtle, and very prosodic as well. taylor tried to deviate from that formula quite a bit and it didn't always work out for the best in this album. she is not as adept at throwing in conversational lyrics as her peers, her strength is in prose and storytelling. the production is also getting a bit old, it's very sonically cohesive, almost to the point of it being boring, and i think taylor needs to get a bit more experimental sonically, and also ensure that the melody and production work together in more different ways, and that maybe the melody is not relying on the production but vice versa. the album is certainly not all lows, but the lows are particularly lower than in other instances of her discography.

that being said, the highs on this album are absolutely breathtaking. the majority of the anthology and quite a few songs on this album captured me instantly. this album is quite mellow, and could have benefitted from another bop or two, but the ones we received were astounding!! this album also had some really strong lyricism, especially in the anthology, and it was so intriguing seeing the many metaphors and situations she used to express her feelings. her storytelling in particular really shone in this album in songs like "the albatross", "the bolter", "clara bow", "cassandra", "the manuscript" among others. i love the themes and ideas that taylor explored in this album, and overall the premises really compelled me.

in terms of rankings, i've separated the two halves. the first half (ttpd) is second-last and the second half (the anthology) is 8th out of 12 (not 11 because ttpd is split in two).

if you've read this far, congratulations, have a treat of your choice. please be mindful and respect my opinion, thanks!

[yuyu1024]

I think... I love you

Pairings: Yunho × y/n x Mingi

Genre/tags: arrange marriaged, love triangle,

Warning: 🔞🔞🔞📢 cheating (don't do this) smut/angst, cursing, pet names, a hint of family relationship issue but not much, smoking, fetish/kinks, jealousy

~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 4.2k

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

Note: continutation of 'Won't you regret it?' I hope its a good part 2 for you guys

-- also question... if you are the FL... who would you chose?

Likes and reblogs are much appreciated 😊

****

"Are you alright?"

Yunho enters our bedroom bathroom where I am standing in front of the mirror, zoning out. He is busy undoing all the buttons of his white shirt.

"Since we came back from my parent's house... you've been quiet."

Usually when we are together, I nag. Just a tiny bit. Or maybe not nag but you know chat. I rarely talk to anybody since I got married so, I talk whenever he is arround.

I always tell him what I did during the times he was gone like updating him since he have no clue what the heck is going on with me coz he is not the type to chat with you when he is away. He just text. Though very seldom.

"Yunho..." my eyes darts at him, through the mirror

"Hmm?" He answers while he's facing away and undressing.

"Can we have sex tonight?"

(I know what you may think. That sex is just my main purpose in life but i swear its not. I just... idk... find it... my go to when i dont know what to do? Plus how can I not want it if I have Yunho as my guy?)

He pauses unbuckling his belt and turns around, "do you really want to?"

I sigh as I face him as well. "I want sex. I miss sex." Then I look down at my dirty skirt. "I missed.... you... I guess..." I trail off, a whisper.

This is very out of my character. I admit I do ask him for sex when I want and need it. But saying I miss him outloud... thats new from me.

And yes he always ask me if I really want to. He always wants me to confirm what I want and need. He always makes sure that I am completely 100% okay with it. Because Yunho, well I did mention that he is amazing at sex right? Or if I haven't. HE IS. and If i also forgot to say that boy have kinks and fetishes, He does have. Also even though He looks like an angel, he does rough sex as well especially when he's really in his momentum.

I was stunned when we had our first rough sex during our honeymoon. I almost didn't recognized him. But that was fun. It was an experienced I never had before. (Don't worry it's not too extreme. Just a little spank, choking and tying my hands sort of thing. And this man loves biting my neck and shoulder)

"What did you say?" He asks. His eyes are wide and looks lost

I roll my eyes and turn my back to him. "Nothing..." he didn't heard me.

I guess I am a bit relieved he didn't heard me say I miss him. Because how dare me utter those words after what I did today? I let his friend, his bestfriend, eat me out and even agreed to have sex the next time we meet.

I am evil. I always tag myself as the poor girl who got married to a guy who I don't love, the girl her parent's threw under the bus and the girl who have nothing besides be a wife to him. The fuck? I am the worst person ever. Between the two of us, I am the devil.

"Well... do you want to have sex or not?" I ask again

He's now behind me. He snakes his arms around my waist as he watches me through the mirror.

"Don't you miss having sex with me?" I spat

"What do you mean?"

I turn again to face him, looking up. "Whenever you're home. I always ask you for sex. While.... You never do."

He crunches his brows "I do."

He does but of course the emotional girl in me feels like I ask for sex more than him.

"Not as many as I do."

"Does that matter?" He smiles

"Yes!" Not really. Maybe I just want more of him wanting me and needing me.

"Hmm?" He takes a step back, confused but still smiling. He's not offended by my drama

"Well... It makes me think that when you're away you must ha--" I pause for a second. I was supposed to add more drama by asking if he fucks other chicks than me but I saw something. "What is that?" I panic a little. It's bandage on his lower abdomen. Almost hidding on the hem of his pants. It's not big but still. "What happened?"

"Oh. It's just a small cut."

"Just a small cut? From where? How?" I look closer. "It's new..." I glance up at him, worried. "Yuyu... what happened...?"

"It's nothing..."

"Are you sure?"

He nods. "Yes... don't worry..."

Fuck. He is smiling. I guess it's not a big deal?

I sigh heavily. But it's not a relieved exhale. I know this has something to do with his work. He can always lie but I know. I am not that stupid.

We have been having sex coz... duh we are married. So we see each other naked. I've seen a few scars from his back and arms already. He might think because they are not big so its not that noticable. However I do see it. How can I not see it? I drool just gazing at his figure. I see everything.

"Hey..." he moves closer again and this time, super close that I could feel his boner through my skirt. "Don't frown... I just got back. And I want to see you smiling... not like that..." he softly says.

He cups my face with his one hand and plants the most delicate kiss I have ever received from him on the corner of my lips.

"I missed you too..." he adds before a smile creeps back in over his lips. "And... Yuyu...?" He suddenly says.

Oh crap he heard? Both? And now He's fucking teasing me! Wait. Did I really called him Yuyu outloud? Shit! That nickname is supposed to be for me only. Crap!

"Where did that came from?" He leans lower, making me arch my body to give him access and starts to kiss me on my neck. "Can you... Say it again..." he says in between kisses on my skin

"No..." I whine as I close my eyes

"Please... say it again..." he is talking so delicately all of a sudden. Sounding like a whine but a seductive request. "Say it..." his hands then gropes my boobs. My weakness.

"If I say it again... will you fuck me?"

My mouth then drops as his one hand goes straight to my core. He is caressing it and rubbing his palm on it, making me feel his fingers through my panties.

"Still on birth control?" He asks

I nod as we both look at each others eyes.

"Good."

He lifted me up, positioned me where I could sit comfotably on the top of our marble sink and spread my legs apart.

"You have no plans tomorrow.. right?" He tears up my panties making me gasp. "Coz... It will be a long night..." he snarls while he puts his pants and underwear down in one go.

I shake my head, answering no. I can't speak. I am... I am losing my mind.

He holds onto his length, aligning it with my folds and. "Answer me." He growls before he eases himself in. Full and strong.

"No!" I squeal. "I.. I have... I have no..." I put my arms around his nape, grabbing for dear life. "I have no plans..." I am breathing heavily.

My toes curls as he thrusts. Holy shit!

"Yunho! Ah!"

He is aggressive. This is different but good. Did he really meant it when he said he missed me too? Miss me how? Just for sex or miss ME?

"FUCK!" I hug him as he pounces me.

We both ruined our masters bathroom. It got messy. I need to personally rearrange our sink as I every beauty product, perfumes, body lotions and etc  got thrown on the floor. Plus the towels  oh god our towels. Hmm. We need to buy new ones.

****

After spending time together last night, in my surprise he didn't leave the following day. He actually fucking stayed and I woke up afterwards, still embraced by him. He's sleeping so peacefuly beside me. I finally saw him again, looking like a baby and dreaming.

This is what I want. This is what I need. This is what will make me fall in love with him. The in between the sex. Him being there, present and us having morning talks and etc. Yes sex is part of anyone's life (as long as you want it of course) but the beauty of having someone beside you, always is different.

Maybe I am selfish to wish something from a man who married me for business but I hope I could atleast get this from him. I am not asking and wishing for him to love me (if ever I get to truly learn to love him through out this marriage) I just want him to be a partner to me. I want to have and experience what my parents didn't gave me growing up. Spending time with me, giving me the attention I need even without asking and care. That's all. I know not everyone can love me but atleast just those three. Just.... that. It's not an impossible wish right?

But then again, do I even have a right to wish these from him?

****

I have been zoning out a lot these past few days. I have been contemplating and thinking about me and Yunho. Mostly about me, about my random emotions, my needs and wants.

I am definitely at lost. I may be an adult but my brain can't handle this type of adulting called the "Feelings". Especially when it gets complicated like this because of my shit descisions. Meaning hooking up with Mingi.

Why did I even did it? Like what had gotten into me? I am not like this. I know I value people's feelings. Why did I break when Mingi had his hands on my boobs that day. Why did I spread my legs for him? Why? Why?!

Am I that hungry for sex from Yunho that core just said hello to the next guy that's had the same length as my husband even though its different type of dish?

Fuck. Now I am thinking about these men as food. I am CRAZY!

"Hello baby girl..."

I jump on my seat as Mingi shows up, kissing me on the cheek.

"What the fuck?" I hiss at him, glaring even. "Why did you kiss me?" I look around and could see Mrs. Jeong and Mrs. Song from afar busy looking at the set of jewelries on the table.

Fuck. I almost had a heart attack. Glad they are busy and focused on the sparkles.

"It's just a kiss on a cheek baby." He says in his low voice, a whisper.

"Still...." I exhale, exasperated

"You are not responding to my texts lately." He says as he sits down at the chair across me.

"I got busy."

"Busy?" He repeats, sounding a bit amused. "We had a deal..."

"I am doing it... the painting... I mean."

He chuckles, leaning forward resting his elbows on his knees. "Baby girl... that's not the only canvas we planned to paint... remember?" I see his eyes scanning me from my chest down to the thing between my legs. "I was promised a sex... you gave me little taste of what heaven feels like and you're suddenly backing out?"

"I'm...."

"Well...?"

I look away and try to focus on Yunho's mother picking jewelries she would like to wear for the ball.

"Can we talk about the painting later?" I say a bit louder so the others could hear.

He chuckles and lay his back, resting. "Fine."

"Is everything alright?" Mrs. Jeong asks

"Yes." I answer smiling.

"I see." She then goes to sit down beside me and shows me this amazing diamiond tear drop earrings. "This would really go well with the black heart neckline gown of yours.. for the ball."

I look at it and my jaw drop how pretty it is. "It will... but..."

"But?" Mrs. Song butts in. "What you mean but? That's one heck of an expensive earring darling... don't you like it?"

"Oh gosh... I do... I do, Mrs. Song.. " I hold her hands and thanked her for the jewelries she brought for us to check and chose from. However...

"Did Yunho said, you two will not go to the ball?" Mrs. Jeong asks

I press my lips together. Not responding to the question. But of course, Yunho's mom knows it already.

"That boy and socializing..." she sighs

"Your son is not going again? But he said he will. He said he will atleast try once he gets married. And now he is married with this wonderful woman.. why is he not coming again?" Mrs. Song says

"Yunho really can't keep promises. What's new?" Mingi stands up and goes to stand near the open window. He's going to smoke again.

"Even if he promised to his mother?" Mrs. Song is bothered and sad.

She was expecting to see me and Yunho to the ball she will be hosting for this halloween season. It's for charity and also her favorite time of the year so she's very excited. She wants everyone to be present and to have fun.

"Even to me... his godmother?" She pouts

"We all know he's like that... work is important to him than us..." he puffs a smoke out. "Sorry Mrs. Jeong..." he adds

"It's okay dear. I know it already so..." Mrs. Jeong puts the earrings back to its case and just smiles at me. "Anyways... we can still hope for next time."

"Yeah... we can." I mumble

So, it's not only me who have issues with Yunho keeping promises and being present.

"So," Mrs. Jeong stands up, hands together and smiling. "We will go now and do more meetings with the coordinators for the ball. Final run downs of the flow of the party, theme and set designs... how about you two?"

"I'll stay." Mingi answers immediately. "We have to talk about commission..."

"Commission?" Both of the ladies repeat

"He requested for me to paint a portrait of him..."

"Really?" Mrs. Song sound surprise

"Money will go to charity." I add

"That's good then!" Mrs. Song is happy to hear the word charity. "Looking forward for the painting... we can display it at the house when its done."

"Sure will." Mingi answers.

The moment everyone left the room and silence fills up the emptiness, Mingi chuckles as he sees how frozen I got onto my seat.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He says

"I know." I look down at my knotted fingers on my lap.

Yes. Mingi may look like he'd beat anyone up but he is gentle with me. Nice with me. I never once feel like he means any harm. Well except on our first meeting months ago. We argued yes but he is still sweet to me.

"Are you thinking about Yunho? On why he does not want to go to the ball?"

I look up at him and nod.

His snorts a laugh. "It's been awhile since you two got married. Don't you guys had any getting to know each other talks? Or its always sex when you two are together?"

My eyes twitching at his claims. (Though he is right)

"Anyways... don't care about your sex life with him." He walks back to the chair from earlier and puts off his cigarette on the ash tray.

"So?" I ask

"You should ask your husband about it...not me..."

"I did. He just said he's busy that day."

"That's lie. Every one's schedule of each families that are invited for that day, are all clear. It had been agreed on for years now. It has been a tradition for decades now. So... ask him again.

"Oh..." my back finally touches the foam of the chair I am sitting on.

Oh Yunho. Why is it so hard for him to talk to me? Be open with me? Did I not give him enough reason to trust me and to feel safe around me?

I had shared my life with him. The stories from my mother and the stories from me, He knows a lot about me more than anyone. My first crush, the first time I got my heart broken, the insight about my feelings about my parents and relatives. Even stories about my struggles with relationship with people. I showed him vulnerability. And yet, it is still one sided.

Yes he did tell stories about him too. His life when he was a kid, during his university days and his hobbies. But those are common knowledge (I think). All of that are also known by his family and friends. He never shared his own thoughts and feelings to me. He never let his guard down with me. It's always positive. Everything is okay and good.

Maybe for him, whatever we have, will remain a contract. Just a signed piece of paper for him no matter.

I think, I should just stop thinking about him. I should stop overthinking about us and whatever feelings I am slowling building for him. I will only get hurt at the end. I am just someone for him to have sex with when he's home.

I know, I know he did say he missed me too. Twice. But maybe he just says that because he miss sex. Not actually me.

"You're frowning..."

"Hmm?"

I glance up and see Mingi standing infront of me, leaning in as he lightly flicks me on the forehead.

"You're not listening to me..."

"What? Did you say something? Sorry... I was--" I stop. I could not tell him what I was thinking.

"Was what?"

"Nothing." I mumble before I get off my seat. "I'm just gonna go..."

"You're going? Just like that?" He says as I walk pass him. "You are in my house..."

"So...?"

"So?" He repeats, "Baby girl, didn't I made you feel good? Didn't you like my tongue in your pussy?" Here we go again. He is teasing me again. He always ask this whenever we meet.

I glare at him. "Stop." Hushing him as someone might hear him.

"Don't worry... everyone is gone. This is my house."

"What you mean gone?" I look around

"I don't have anyone here... I'm alone."

"That can't be."

"Oh yes... it can. My staff only comes here during the weekdays and they don't stay pass 6pm. I like my privacy."

"So you mean..."

"Yes." He slowly comes closer and closer. "It's a Saturday too... the staff you saw with my mother are hers. And they left with her already so..."

My back then hits a wall from whatever room we are in.

"We can do what was promised to me months ago and no one will know." He smirks as his body finally reaches mine.

"We can't..." I say quietly

"Why not?" He whispers, lowering his head and kissing me on the cheek. "I know you liked what we did last time..."

"I did." I can't lie about that.

"So what's holding you back?" His hand roams around my curves until it reaches the buttons of my blouse. "You like this right? You like it when I play around your nipples..."

He hasn't finished opening my blouse, he just slid in his fingers in so it could touch my laced covered tip. He's teasing me. He wants me to react.

"Stop..." I say

"You tell me to stop... but baby girl... if you could only see how aroused you look right now..." he grabs my face with both hands and tilt it up so I could look up at him. "I just touched you and your eyes are already dreaming for more..."

"We can't do this... It was a mistake..."

"It maybe a mistake for you baby girl. But for me..." he finally kisses me. His tongue invades my mouth until a moan carries my soul out of my body. "You are my heaven right now."

That's it. I am gone. I didn't even fight the urge. This officially makes me a whore.

Mingi carries me with while we kiss. He sits back down at the chair from earlier but now I am with him. No, actually, on top of him. I am riding him.

"Ugh!" He throws his head back, hands gripping on my hips. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"

This is so wrong. Why don't I have a backbone to say no to Mingi? What the hell is wrong with me?

"Ahh!" I cry as I bounce faster and made him go deeper in me. "It's so good..." my voice is shaky

"You take me so well." He say breathing heavily. His brows creases and mouth in an O. "Fuck!"

After a few more strokes, both of us came together. I collapse onto him. I drained all my energy squating on him.

"That was amazing..." he says

I could hear his heart beating so fast as my head rests on his chest.

"Y/n..." he calls my name

"Hmm...?"

"If ever..."

"If ever what...?" I ask closing my eyes.

"If ever you decided to end thing with Yunho... I want you to know... that I'll be here waiting for you."

My eyes flings open, "What did you say?" I got up so fast

"I am willing to marry you... if you and Yunho don't work out."

"M-marry? What the fuck are you saying? Your dick is still inside me and you go on saying if I get divorce one day.. you will... marry me?"

"Yes." He answers it like its nothing yet he looks so darn serious.

"You think... he will divorce me?"

"No... he will not... which sucks. Because who will divorce someone like you...?" He caresses my cheek and smile. "I am just laying it out to you... the other option you have if it does happen... I am not wishing any harm into your marriage baby girl... well besides more sex with you I guess..." he smiles and then winks

"You are crazy." I roll my eyes at him

"I am. I know that." Then he grunts as he slowly moves his hips again. "Crazy as I am offering and willing to be your lover even just behind closed doors."

I could feel him get harder again in me. He's aroused again. I haven't recovered from the high yet and here he goes again. I'm still hugging his length.

"You're blushing reacting to my dick moving in you." He teases

"S-shut up." I moan the words out as my inside tenses up again with him rocking me on him.

"Baby girl..." he hugs me and breathe in my scent. "Ahhh..." he is moaning along with me.

Fuck what is this. We just had sex just a few minutes ago and now we are doing it again. I am not complaining though coz holy shit it was good. A different good. However this one, this second one... feels different.

"Y/n..." he says my name again. His hands around my body and his face resting on my chest. "Y/n..."

All of a sudden, the bad boy, aggressive and blunt Mingi becomes tame and yearning.

"Let me be your lover." He mumbles. "I don't think I can't move on from you after this...." he then trails kisses on my chest up to my neck. "I want to be with you... even just like this... to pleasure you..."

My body then reacts to his words. I know it did. I felt him clench onto me when I felt something in me dwells up a strong emotion.

"Fuck..." he breathes burrying his face on my neck. "Please... y/n...ahhh... please... Say yes... say yes to me. I-I need you..."

I am crying. This is my first time hearing someone say they want to be with me. I know he might be just saying it out of his sex high but hearing the words... and him getting vulnerable because of me.

What did I do to him to make him want me? We only saw each a few times after the first meeting. Most of it was us talking about the painting and him doing poses for me for inspirations. Yes it were more than a handful of lunch dates, still related to the painting and all but... he got feelings for me?

Is it because my brain is so messed up thinking about me and Yunho, our complicated relationship that I missed the part that Mingi and I got a connection? That we got to know each other more than I realized?

But this is wrong. I am married. Fuck, I'm so confused.

"Oh, Mingi..." I moan his name as he sensually bites my earlobe.

"Say yes....I beg you." He lifts me up and move us both to the sofa. He's now on top of me and finally sees the tears coming out of my eyes. "Don't cry..." he kisses my damp cheek. "I promise, I'll make you happy and safe..."

"But..."

"As I said... I don't give a fuck about your sex life with Yunho. I don't give a damn fuck about your marriage. I want you. I need you." He leans in to kiss me again. "And I think... I love you."

[andydrysdalerogers]

Cross-Checked ~ Chapter 15

Andy Barber x OFC Leighton "Leia" Andrews

Summary:

Andy Barber is having the best year of his life. His game is on point. It’s gets to play with his best friend and his fiancé just... dumped him?!. 

Reeling from a sudden change in status, Andy decides it’s time to just focus on hockey. Until his best friend's sister comes out with news that rock the entire organizations world., 

Andy has always carried a torch for the untouchable Leighton but in her hour of need, is now the time to shoot and score or risk getting cross - checked again? 

Warnings: Cheating (but not by the MCs); slow burn; friends to lovers eventually; SMUT!; pregnancy; jealousy; handsome goalies, evil exes...

A/N: The tag list is open!

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Banners by me!

Previous: Chapter 14: Mother Knows Best

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 15 ~ Unexpected

Andy 

Week 26 

We’ve been at Boston General for a few hours. The doctor immediately checked Leia in and hooked her up to a couple of machines. She was doing everything she could to remain calm, but the tears wouldn’t let up.  I am so angry at Monica for this. Why that woman can’t just be happy for her kids is beyond me.  It's times like these where I miss my mom. While she would have been skeptical because of the how, she knew the why and that would have been all that mattered. She loved Leia and knew about my unrequited love for her. She would have been thankful for our love and for her granddaughter.  

Fuck Monica for ruining this.  

Once the machines were one, we heard the best sound in the world: the fetal heart monitor. I swear there is not a sweeter sound than my daughter’s heartbeat. Hearing it nice and strong gave me the strength to let go of my anger and concentrate on my family. I was flooded with relief until I saw the tears streaming down her beautiful face. “Sweetheart?” 

“I thought I hurt her,” she cries. She leans her head into me, and I hold her. She sobs for a while, soaking my shirt with her tears. I do my best to soothe her, running my hand over her hair, kissing her head, reassuring her. “My queen, our princess is good.  She’s healthy and growing.” She hiccups as she starts to calm down.  

“Where is Luke?” 

“I think he went for a coffee. Let me find him. I will be right back.” I kiss her forehead and smile before I head out.  I know where Luke is. He texted me a few minutes ago and I know I need to help him before he goes on a spree. 

“Kyle, my sister has been admitted for monitoring and you want to excuse her behavior.... I don’t care. She has been so selfish when it comes to us... I get that you love her and she’s your wife, but she’s been our mother longer... if she is not going to apologize then she is not welcomed. I will not have her upset my sister when it puts her and my niece in danger.” He ended the call and looked at me with a fire, but it was mixed with sadness.  “She doesn’t think she did anything wrong.”  

My best friend looks defeated.  He should have been on a high, coming back from his first all-star game. Instead, he had to deal with his mother. “I’m sorry, brother. What can I do?” 

He shakes his head, not sure of the words to say. He looks up at me and his eyes are rimmed with tears. “I feel like I lost both my parents now.” A single tear falls, and I pull him into a hug. He sobs because I know, this is hard for him. He wants to be strong for Leia so I gave him this. 

“Let it out, buddy, its ok.  Just you and me, alright. Be weak here so you can be strong out there.” I just hold him, and he calms.  

“What did the doctors say?” He wipes the wetness from his eyes.  

“We can hear the baby. A nice strong heartbeat. I don’t know what the tests say yet. We’re waiting for the doctor to tell us but really Leia just wanted to know that she was ok.”  

Before Luke can say anything else, a nurse comes in. “Mr. Barber, Mr. Andrews?” 

“Yes?” 

“Miss Andrews asked if you could come in. The doctor wants to go over the results.”  

I nod and we make our way back to Leia’s room. I see her sitting up, rubbing her hand over her belly. I sit next to her on her bed and kiss her head. Luke takes his place standing on the other side of the bed. The doctor looks at his notes before he begins. “Leia, I talked to Dr. Sheppard, and we think we need to make some changes.”  

“Changes?” She squeaked.  

“Modified bed rest.  You don’t need to be in bed, but we would like you to rest as much as possible. No more highly stressed events, working, anything like that.”  

I frown. “She has to stop working?”  

“It would be recommended. Now, I know you are no longer flying but I would avoid traveling as much as possible. More time on the couch, baths, naps are recommended, until at least the 34th week.  By that time, the baby is much more developed and can be safely delivered.”  

“Ok,” she whispers. “Anything else?” 

“Plenty of fluids, maintain your diet, and we should get you to the home stretch. Eight weeks, ok. You will have weekly check ins now so we can check your blood pressure and we get a peek at Baby but otherwise, you are lady of leisure from now on.”  

“Thanks Doc,” I say. He leaves the room, and a nurse comes in. “I’m gonna get your discharge paperwork so we can get you home.”  

“Well, this sucks,” Leia says as she leans her head back. “I don’t know what I am going to do. I mean the Bruins said that if I had to go on early maternity leave, it wouldn’t be a problem but with my business...” 

“Why not hire someone to step in?” Luke says. “You could get one of the assistants to help you and maybe you can video conference for the really big meetings.”  

“You’re a genius, Lukey!” Leia wraps her arms around her brother. It's one problem solved until I remember we have a lot of road games coming up.  Our schedule had been home heavy until recently and now we need to hit the road.  

“What about when we are gone?” I ask. “Can Miranda stay with her?” 

“I don’t think it will be a problem. She works from home,” Luke says. “We’ll make sure you are taken care of Cubby, don’t you worry.”  

Week 27 

I’m packing my bag for the next road trip as my queen sits up in bed, reading a book.  “Whatcha reading, beautiful?” 

“Just a romance,” she says distractedly.  

“Oh yeah?” Now this piqued my interest. Leia has an affinity for dirty romances.  She thinks I don’t know this, but she’s left a couple of her books laying around and I got curious a couple of times.  Let me tell you, it has given me a few ideas for when she is no longer pregnant, and I can bend her body at my will. I glance at my watch and determine that I have some time.  

“Mmhmm.” She is deep in the story that she doesn’t see that I’m pulling off my shirt. I grasp her ankle and pull her down the bed. She squeaks and then moans as I run my hands up her legs. She’s just wearing one of my shirts and panties, making her look scrumptious. As I pull her down, the shirt rides up, exposing her belly and stopping right below her breasts. “Andy...” 

“Yes, darling?” I start to kiss around her belly, giving my daughter some kisses before I take her mom. I can feel her push against the skin, and I smile. Then I travel south, hearing Leia’s breath hitch at the sensation. “A problem, my love?” 

“N-no,” she replied as her body arched when my lips touched her clit. It was beautiful to see her so sensitive, responsive to every touch. I wasn’t rough with her. Every lick, every suckle, every kiss was soft and sweet, and it drove Leia wild. “Andy,” she cried, “more, please!” 

“Do you know how much I love feasting on you? Tasting you, owning you. This is my favorite place in the whole world.” I opened her up with my thumbs and drank her up. “God, why do you taste so good?” 

She whimpered and thrashed. I placed my hands on her hips to hold her steady. I lapped up and down, not wanting to stop until I felt her come apart.  I had asked the doctor if sex would be bad for her and the baby.  The doc had chuckled and said it would actually relax her more. I would be a bad partner and father if I didn’t do everything I could to make sure they were relaxed until she arrived.   

She began to chant my name as I worked faster but not harder. I was going to be on the road for the next twelve days so this was going to have to last for me. She could barely reach my head with her finger to pull me closer to her. I finally obliged and let my finger slide into her. She moans and I work her slit between my lips.  “C’mon baby, let me have it.”  

She cried out as her climax washed over her, her pussy pulsing around my fingers. I could live in between her thighs. I worked her through her peak and slowed as I felt her body relax. “Andrew Steven Barber, you are trying to kill me.”  

“I would never do that sweetheart. Just needed something to remember you by while I’m alone on the road.” I crawled up to lay next to her and moved her hair out of her face.  She smiled softly before giving me a kiss.  I knew she was tasting herself, which is a move I find sexy as hell. She palmed my erection through my jeans, and I moaned. “Fuckkkk.” 

“So big,” Leia coos as she undoes my jeans and reaches into my boxer briefs. I head lulls back as she pumps my cock, making it harder. “I wish I could suck you off.” She pouts at me, but she knows the rules. Being on her knees is not good for her or the baby.  

“I know, baby.” I kiss around her neck and whisper to her, “tighter.” She grips me tighter, the added pressure mimicking her tight pussy. “Just like that,” I rasp.  

“Andy, I need you,” she moans. I’m quick to lay down and pull her onto my lap. She centers herself and slides down my erection with ease. “Oh my god,” she rolls her head back in a moan.  

“Just let me do the work, my queen.” I grip her hips and move her up and down my shaft as I pump my hips up to meet hers. Her breast bounce in front of my face and I can help but lick them as they move.  She keens at the sensation, her hands gripping my abs.  

It's not enough. I know I can feel how she wants it, harder and deeper. I carefully twist her onto her back, making sure I don’t put weight on her belly. I wrap her legs around me and push back in. I’m deeper now and fuck if it doesn’t feel good. I pump into, enjoying her cries as I reach down to stroke her clit and bring her to her release. “Come on, baby. Let go for me.”  

“Andy!” She detonates around me, squeezing me so hard that I follow behind her, shattering. I come so hard I see stars. I slow our movements but haven’t pulled out quite yet.  

“Are you ok, my queen?”  I look at her glassy eyes with a smirk.  

“I’m great,” she breathes. I pull out gently and then get a cloth to clean her up. I helped her back into some panties and a shirt. I jumped into the shower for a quick rinse and finished getting my bag together.  

“Do you have to go?” I turn to look at my love, who is pouting but also has tears in her eyes.  

“Baby,” I sighed as I went back to the bed to hold my girl. “What’s wrong?” 

“What if something happens while you’re gone? What if I lose...” 

“Sweetheart, don’t talk like that. You heard the doctors. Rest and limiting exertion is what’s going to help. Miranda will be here right after her meetings and she’s staying in the guest room. Coach already knows the situation so I can leave at a moment's notice if I need to.” I kiss her head. "Positive thoughts, ok?" 

“I’m gonna miss you.”  

“I’m gonna miss you too, my little queen. I’ll call as much as I can.” I kiss her softly and touch forehead. “Take care of yourself and my baby, ok? I love you.”  

“I love you.”  

Leia 

It's been two days since the boys left on their road trip. Rumor has it that Jeremy was not on the trip due to an injury.  When it was announced, Andy looked sad about it.  I didn’t ask, because it looked like the injury weighed on Andy’s mind.  

I’ve been working on easy stuff at our house. Andy hired a cleaning service so I wouldn’t strain or lift anything. The only thing I had put my foot down was him ordering me food every day. Cooking relaxes me and I didn’t want that to go away. So, I happily cook for Miranda and myself every day.  

Stella had been a little distant lately. She called and mentioned that she broke it off with the guy she had been seeing. She really liked him, and they had been going out for a couple of months. She just needed some time before she showed up here with ice cream and girl time.  

Hopefully, she will show up soon because Miranda has become a party planner monster. What party did you ask? 

Baby Andrews-Barber's baby shower.  

If I look at the guest list, it makes me nauseous. It's wedding sized. As in more than 100 people are being invited. I don’t think my brother knows the extent of her plans because he would have locked this down a while ago. But no, he didn’t. And now all of these people are being invited to his house.  

At least it's not mine.  

Teehee.  

Since Miranda is staying with me, every evening has been taken with party planning and decision making. Everyone knows we are having a girl, but I still don’t want just pink things. I decided on a pink and soft green theme. It's gonna be so cute.  

We were online, making a registry when the doorbell rang. I stood up carefully and went to answer the door.  

“What the fuck are you doing here?” 

A/N: I have a few chapters written (purely for my indulgence) of what happened to Jeremy that got his off the road trip? Anyone interested?

NEXT

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[tua-five]

Okay, it has been just over 24 hours since I finished watching season 4, and while I still need to fully process things, and also rewatch it, I think I'm ready to discuss a major part. There's other I want to discuss too, but I need more time.

⚠️ Season 4 Spoilers!! ⚠️

The most striking part is Five and Lila. Everyone is pissed about it, upset, angry, confused, anything. I was, too. However, I've thought about it and read some articles and watched some interviews and I've come to understand it. Half of it, at least. That doesn't mean I like it, though.

Five was just 14. He went through puberty twice. He was alone with no romanticism except for with a mannequin. He's able to ignore that desire for love because he's with his family and the chaoticness of the many many apocalypses.

At the end of season 3, they go their separate ways, and Five is alone. He goes and works at the CIA. He focuses on work, not love, because that's all he's ever known.

Then he once again gets stuck. This time, in a subway station that leads to different timelines. Except he's not alone. There's another human being, and it's a girl. One he's gotten closer to. Called family. And he's stuck there for almost seven years. During that time, he can't ignore the desire for love. He was 19 at the beginning of the season, and after the 7 years, he's 26.

After all of that time being alone, not having and romantic love in his life, he finds it with Lila, who gets him. Because they are both stuck. He's coming of age, almost past that now, and his character needs love. Everyone does. And he's sick of being alone. So he has Lila.

And you do anything for love.

So yes, he did fall in love with Lila. Yes, he kept the notebook from her for 5 months. Because yes, he loves her.

Lila is going through it, too. She feels alone and desperate. She misses the love of her life. She misses being loved. She misses her husband. She misses her kids. To fill that hole, she has Five. But she never stops looking for a way back to her real family. She loves them dearly.

But when the time comes, she chooses Diego. Because he's the one she loves. Because of her children.

She cheated. Yes. That is unacceptable. Five got with his brothers wife. Yes. That is unacceptable. His raging hormones aren't enough to just forgive and forget. But we can understand.

For all of those saying that Five wouldn't do that, he would. Everyone feels like we know the characters better than the writers. Or that we really know the characters. But we really don't.

You know who does know the characters? The actors. The actors and the characters themselves.

I think he would do that because of everything in his life. All of the bad.

I think Lila would do that because of everything in her life. All of the bad.

I was mad at first, but I've come to understand. Not quite accept, but understand.

They are 11 years apart in age (physically). I do not like this. But at one moment, they only had each other.

Five had the audacity to say that Diego couldn't give Lila what she needed, but he was sad and angry, and he didn't want to be alone again. He's fucking done with the apocalypse. He's old and tired and wants love.

So he got it and he didn't want to let it go.

So yeah, he fought Diego. And yeah, he said he wanted to kill him. But he didn't mean it. We all say things we don't mean when we're angry. He's broken.

And yeah, he left the family to go back on the subway station and mope and cry. He's lost.

We don't have to forget. Or forgive. But at least understand.

Please don't come at me

(And I think my point has been proven now. Five did, in fact, not get his hug).

[meiissblog]

Another life part 2 1/2 🤍 Gojo x Fem reader (isekai fic)

THIS STORY IDEA WAS TAKEN FROM @stsg-losers thank you for this amazing idea! 😊💕

⚠️MAJOR SPOILERS for Jujutsu kaisen ⚠️

(If you’re not caught up with the JJK manga avoid this story at all costs).

Please read all the parts of this story first you can find all the chapters Here.

~ Another life 🤍 ~

⚠️WARNINGS ⚠️

⚠️ SMUT ⚠️

This chapter is 18+ ONLY.

Because this is the smut chapter, this part of the story is going to be a bit shorter than usual.

The little bit of story Included in this chapter will be recapped at the beginning of the next chapter! So go anyone who doesn’t like smut see you next chapter and minors skip this entirely.

——————————————————————

Y/N POV:

The day of the concert arrived and I’m completely stressed. All the kids had already left, and Toru, was on his way dropping Miyoko off at his mother's house.

I check my phone It’s already 1 pm.

The kids should be at the arena by now. I think to myself.

I stand in my kitchen preparing dinner for me and Toru. Did I take my pill this month? I’ve been so busy I don’t think I did. Should I make him wear a condom? Or does it matter? I guess I’ll have to ask him. I get lost in thought as the noodles boil. Just then I get a text from Tsumiki.

“Don’t worry Mom, we made it to the venue safe! I’ll let you know when we get inside”.

I smile to myself grabbing my phone and getting ready to reply.

“Wow, this house sure is beautiful”.

“What the fuck?!”. I turn around in horror

to see Mike in my kitchen.

He walks towards me, I back away ready to dial emergency services, but he grabs the phone out of my hand throwing it to the floor.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you y/n come on let’s just talk”. “How the fuck did you get into my house?!”.

“paid off your security, jumped over the gate. Your children should learn how to lock the front door -“.

“Get the hell out of here now. Gojo is going to be home soon and if he finds you here he won’t be happy”.

“Pst.. so loyal to a man whore”.

“What kind of delusional nonsense are you spewing? Get out!”.

I yell as throw a heavy glass at him, but he just dodges it and remains unfazed.

“What you don’t know your man is whoring around on you behind your back”.

Mike holds up a paper shoving it in my face I hesitantly take it from him.

They’re messages from Gojo’s email to another person.

“Baby, I miss you when are you going to get some time to yourself”.

“The wife has me busy nowadays baby, it’s annoying I want nothing more than to see you”.

The messages go down the entire page. Gojo talking about leaving me and the kids and taking half of my family's money so he can disappear with this person, whoever they are. My heart aches the dates were months before the accident.

“You’re lying you-“.

“A PI found this information not me, listen

y/n I know you think all I want is for you to sell the company.

but the truth is I want YOU, I’d never cheat on you like him”.

He reaches out to touch my chin, I immediately punch him right in his nose. “B-back off! Now!”. Mike sighs, Holding his now bleeding noise. “Fine, I’ll go but I’ll let you keep those emails.

It might be useful to you for your eventual divorce, you might keep more of your money that way”. I follow behind Mike as he leaves as soon as he’s out the door I lock it.

I stay there for a few moments trembling until I finally manage to pull myself together. I take the papers over to my office setting them on my desk. Before, was Gojo really that unhappy? I feel a few tears fall from my eyes but I immediately wipe them away just then I realize.

“The noddles!”. I yell out in a panic. I run back to the kitchen, the water boiling over onto the stove. I immediately turn the stove down and I try to move the pot carefully over to the other burner but some of the very hot water spills over onto my wrist.

I wince slightly, ignoring the pain.

I immediately take a fork from our silverware door and check the noodles luckily they’re not over-boiled I sigh in relief.

I then walk over to the sink and put my wrist under some cold water. It hurts pretty badly but at the same time, it feels a bit better.

If Gojo was cheating on me before the accident then he must not remember.

I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. and I don’t know how I should feel….. should I be mad at him? Is that even fair to the gojo right now, who doesn’t remember? But there is also a possibility, Mike made all of this up I’ll have to do some investigating myself.

I clean my wound bandaging it before I make the rest of dinner.

⚠️ SMUT WARNING ⚠️

WARNINGS:

•Sixty nine• some ass smacking• •unprotected sex• semi ruff sex• •teasing•

• some humiliation?•very needy•

———————————————————————

“Y/n, I’m home”. “I’m in the kitchen”. I hear Toru enter the kitchen, when he comes up behind me rubbing his large hands up and down my sides.

“Looks good”. “T-thank you -“.

“I’m not talking about the food”. Gojo lifts me off the ground hosting me over his shoulder. “T-toru?!” he turns off the stove, and brings me back to our shared bedroom.

He lightly tosses me onto the bed as he climbs on top of me. “T-toru w-wait umm.. you should know. I’m not on my birth control after you got into your accident, I figured we wouldn’t do it for a while so I haven’t prepared so you might want to wear a condom-”. “I don’t mind if you get pregnant again in fact I’m kind of shocked with a body like yours, that I’ve only gotten you pregnant twice”.

I blink at him, gojo before he was also a pervert don’t get me wrong but this version of him is different it’s almost like he’s more unhinged. it’s kinda sexy.

It’s almost like he’s a different person Is he like this because to him it feels like the first time?

But in the past even when we first dated he never acted like this.

“Well, I’m also telling you this because You told me recently you didn’t want any more… children.”. I look off sadly.

The more I think, the more him cheating makes since he lost so much interest in me, I guess I was too stupid to see it until now.

Gojo gently grabs my face in his hand putting his face dangerously close to mine. “The me right now doesn’t care, I’m fine with whatever happens, all I want is for you to pay attention to me”. “Okay, sorry”. I wrap my arms around his neck and I kiss him. He Hums in satisfaction, his lips moving with mine. I feel his hands snake up my body groping my breasts through my dress. I moan slightly. We both pull away taking off our clothes.

At this point, we are both completely naked when Gojo gently takes my injured arm. “What happened here?”. “It’s not a big deal I just Burned myself while cooking earlier”. he kisses the bandage.

I smile, hugging him and kissing the side of his neck. “Toru, I want to suck you off”.

“Fuck, let’s sixty-nine instead I want to eat you out”.

Blush brightly damn, we haven’t done that in a long time. I nod as I lay on top of him putting my pussy in his face.

His fingers run across my slit before he takes my clit into my mouth, sucking on it. I moan, As I put his cock into my mouth, slowly sliding him into the back of my throat we both moan simultaneously.

I suck his cock, while he sucks on my clit. While also inserting his fingers into me ramming his forefingers Into my g spot. We both moan… as we both give each other pleasure.

He takes his mouth away from my clit kissing the inside of my thighs as he watches his fingers continue to fuck me. “You got so wet so quickly, you seem to be enjoying this”. His other hand smacks my ass hard.

I Yelp when he suddenly moves his fingers faster. I moan against his cock again as I pull him out of my mouth, still stroking his cock with my hand. “Y-you seem to be liking it too you’re just as horny as I am”.

“You’re not wrong y/n”. He removes his fingers as he starts groping my asscheeks licking and leaving hickies on the back of my thighs. As I continue to stroke him licking and running my lips against his cock.

“Mhmm, your breathing is getting faster T-toru I put you back into my mouth?”. I gently kiss the side of his cock. “Yes, put that bratty mouth back on my cock. and I’ll let you cum after”. He rubs my clit slowly as I put him back into my mouth sucking him and running my tongue against his tip. “F-fuck..”. He moans as He cums into my mouth I swallow it immediately.

I take him out of my mouth cleaning his dick with my tongue overstimulating him. “Y/n.. s-stop… I-let me concentrate on you now”. “Hmm ~ alright”.

He spreads me open inserting his tongue inside of me as he rubs my clit. he wiggles his tongue expertly. I moan “My T-toru.. fuck it feels so good”. He continues to fuck me with his tongue all of his teasing finally bringing me to the edge. I try to pull away He grabs my hips keeping them against his face. “Don’t pull away you want to cum right?”. “I-I don’t I’m going to squirt, I don’t want to do it while I’m still on top of you“.

“I don’t care, so fucking cum”. He holds my hip with one hand while he Inserts two of his fingers inside of me thrusting against my g spot harshly my legs start to get shaky.

“I-I….”. “Just let go and let me watch cum you can do it”. My eyes start to water from the sensitivity as I cum squirting.

I feel All of my liquids run down my legs and onto his chest, I cover my face in embarrassment.

I can’t believe he just saw that… He starts to lick my legs and everything else cleaning me as I come down from my orgasm. He picks me up like I weigh nothing, turning me around so I’m now facing him. I straddle his lap as he inserts his dick into me right away.

I moan grasping his shoulders. “F-fuck.. T-toru you’re so hard again”. He kisses my neck as he thrusts into me grunting slightly “Your pussy is squeezing my cock. “Was it that good?”. “Y-yeah... I love you”. He smiles slightly. “I love you two”. he continues to thrust not letting up if anything goes faster and harder. “shit!”. I harshly grip his shoulders accidentally digging my fingernails into them as he continues to thrust.

Toru has never fucked me like this before, it is almost like he’s another person.

I kiss his face, when I feel his cock get bigger inside of me as he continues to thrust, finding my G spot again, making my legs go weak as he hits it. I wrap my arms around his neck. “F-fuck.. I’m going to cum again I moan”.

“Such a good girl c-cum for me… cum against my cock I want to see it”. He slams his cock into me making me squirt for a second time my eyes start to tear once again my whole body trembling from the over-sensitivity.

At this point I’m completely fucked out all can think about is how good he feels inside of me as he continues to fuck my sensitive pussy. “Gojo…”. I scratch his shoulders again as he continues to fuck me harshly. “S-shit, I’m coming”. He groans as he thrusts a few more times when I feel him cum into me shoving his cock deep inside of me. He lays on top of me his whole body weight lightly crushing me but I’m okay with it.

“Fuck”. He mutters I kiss the side of his face again as he finishes coming down from his high.

I stroke his hair softly, Gojo always satisfied me but shit what the hell happened? Why is he so good at this now?

Gojo POV:

I’ve never had a woman keep up with me so well, I wonder if I can break her? “Do you want more y/n?”. “If you want more then I’m okay with it”. “You’re so cute y/n”. I kiss her cheek before I sit back up.

I start to move my now newly hard cock inside of her once again. Her body trembles as I thrust slowly. “T-Toru.. faster, please”. I ignore her continuing to fuck her at a slow pace for a while just to tease her.

“Are you sure you can take it faster y/n you look a little tired should I pull out?”. “N-no fuck me more please, I want your cock”. I immediately start fucking her faster.

“F-fuck” I watch as I’m fucking my own cum out of her.

I lean over putting my lips to y/n’s ear. “I’m going to need to cum again everything is spilling out. Do you want more of my cum y/n?”. I feel her tighten around me slightly. “Y-yes please fuck me, I want your cum”.

I smirk. As I move faster hitting her g spot purposely as I thrust. “I want you to cum first though can you do that for me?”. I reach down rubbing her overly sensitive clit while I continue to thrust.

She groans “G-Gojo”. “Y-y/n! Fuck your pussy is so good”. I kiss her moaning she kisses back immediately as we both cum again. We both sit there again for a moment, just kissing each other. when Gojo’s phone alarm goes off. We both pull away slowly, and I grab my phone shutting it off.

“I have to get ready to go get Miyoko”.

y/n stokes my hair out of my face.

“Shortest two hours of my life”. I laugh a bit. “Are you okay y/n I wasn’t too ruff with you was I?”. “No, I’m fine better than fine actually, I love you”. A feeling I’ve never felt before pings in my chest as my heart flutters.

“I love you two y/n”. She wraps her arms around my neck once again, kissing me.

I hold her kissing her back for a few moments before I separate from her again. “We better stop or else I won’t be able to stop”. We both get up from the bed and go into the bathroom, cleaning ourselves up a bit.

⚠️ SMUT OVER ⚠️

Y/N POV:

We both exit the bathroom, with new clothes on. “Oh crap, my phone is in the kitchen!”.

I hope the kids are okay. I run out into the kitchen grabbing my phone from the counter. I got a couple of different texts from Tsumiki.

“Don’t worry Mom we are in the venue safe and sound!”.

“We made it out, the concert was great! There is some traffic and we’ll probably stop and get something to eat! but we’ll be home in a bit”.

I sigh in relief when I feel Gojo’s arms snake around my waist, as he kisses me on the top of my head. “Are they okay”. “Yeah they’re fine they’ll probably be home soon”. “Okay, baby I’ll see you in a bit I’ll be back”. Gojo slips away I watch as he leaves out the door.

GO BACK TO PART 2

MASTERLIST

Tags 💕😭: @missroro

(if you want to be tagged just leave a comment).

[butchsophiewalten]

Man this is so random but this theory is stuck in my head and I wanna see how other people feel about it because I don't see people talk about it a lot (I have no clue if the link will go through properly since I've never put a link in a ask box)

https://www.tumblr.com/art-w0rm/667910993425350656/theory-time

Oh god not this theory again. I really truly try not to be mean to people for no good reason on this blog, but this theory is literally one of the stupidest fucking things I've ever seen in my entire life. I don't talk about this theory because to me it's like the walten files theory equivalent of that tubby custard mechanically separated chicken post.

Most of the time I genuinely don't even consider it worthy of my time, because it's nonsense, but this is a very nicely worded ask, and I really don't mean to dedicate any of the vitriol I hold towards this theory to You, poor anonymous person, so I will deconstruct it. I will go through the theory point-by-point and deconstruct why I disagree with it.

First up, this:

Showbear is not a character in The Walten Files anymore. Showbear was fully retconned and is never going to appear in the series again. He was effectively just a cameo of ThunderingStatic's (one of Martin's friends) OC, but when The Walten Files blew up and people started assuming Showbear was Martin's character, Static decided to withdraw his character from the series and focus putting him in other projects.

Martin talked about this on Twitter forever ago, but I wouldn't be able to find that tweet now. But here's a bit from the interview he did with KnowYourMeme back in 2021 where he talks about it:

Now this:

This is just stupid to me? Like a complete logical incongruity? I barely even know how describe what is dumb about this because I can't even fathom how anyone draws this conclusion from this information. How is it strange for a man to say 'if my wife isn't home by the time she said she was going to be, let me know, in case something happened.'????? Why would Rosemary be out cheating on her husband with her fucking daughter with her??? If Rosemary was cheating on her husband why would her whole life collapse when he went missing? If Rosemary was cheating on her husband why would she show up at the restaurant every day after he disappeared asking if anyone had seen him and hoping to find him alive??? Why would she make paintings of herself and him together after he disappeared????? What the fuck are you talking about?

Ok now this:

Whatever. This is maybe the most coherent part of the theory, to me. I definitely agree that Sha evokes a 'wolf in sheep's clothing' sort of aesthetic, but I do remember Martin saying something in a Twitter Q&A at one point about how that wasn't actually intentional, and that Bon was the character he actually meant to seem unusually predatory. I looked for a while and couldn't find a screenshot of that, but I did find this one where he says the thing about Bon:

So whatever. take that with a grain of salt.

I don't even know what to say. here. Whatever. sure she was rolling in the hay

yeah Rosemary is asking if she's still beautiful because she cheated on her husband and not because she was chopped up and stuffed inside a big animatronic sheep. I think this is correct and is the True Deep Lore.of the walten files. I'm sure this doesn't have anything to do with the recurring motif of the double-meaning behind the word Beautiful either.

I don't know why it's weird that the lost lingering spirit of a mother would be calling out to her only living child. I Don't know why that needs additional explanation involving this batshit infidelity conspiracy theory.

Sha's chest is also ripped out

So is Banny's, honestly? Just a little less?

ok now this:

I guess I can't disprove this except that I think this is dumb. I think this is a really incredibly stupid logical leap to make. Y'know I really meant to go into this levelheadedly and very calmly go through every point and talk about why I think it's Decisively Disagreeable or whatever but I can't. I really can't. I just cannot keep my patience with this sort of thing.

You'd think if there was an infidelity aspect here it would've been lampshaded in some respect, at all, in the old /sophiewalten findjackwalten page text. Where it's literally Sophie talking to Jenny about what she remembers about her family.

Especially if the idea is that Sophie is meant to have been there. You'd think something like that would have come up here. Not 'she was nice and a good mom until my dad disappeared and her mental health started getting worse'