#🦚 lucifer

[pridesson]

Never walking home from rad again by myself, I happened to already be exhausted from .. well really walking, standing, moving in general. I’m tired, humans.. if I could somehow stop being disabled. I’d take it so fast .. anywho I was so exhausted I passed out, the only thing I remember was while I was walking .. there were these two.. ‘strange specimen’ to say the least, one broke my nose and the other broke my legs.. I can never catch a break.

I’m in the hospital as per usual.. Nobody tell Lucifer. >_>..

[mcx7demonbros]

No Dinner For You (Lucifer x GN!MC)

Warning. (Most of) the Brothers doesn’t care about MC/Reader (the story takes place in season 1 when nobody in HoL gives a damn about MC). Hunger. Slight mention of demon eating human. Please tell me if I miss anything :3

Not thoroughly proofread

Your first day in the Devildom was hectic. You were dragged down to Hell without your consent and without any prior warning and were forced to participate in an exchange program in order to promote peace between the three realms, the dream and desire of the Demon Prince - Diavolo. Living with you were the seven six demon brothers, who could kill you and eat you on a whim. At the end of the day, you were again dragged into another mess between the second born Mammon and the third born Leviathan, the latter of whom you had to help against the former. Needless to say, you were extremely tired, both physically and mentally.

Right after you managed to find your bedroom on your own (since you were technically abandoned by your caretaker Mammon), you threw yourself on the bed.

It’s so warm and soft. I wish my life down here would be like this bed. You said within yourself as you began to doze off.

You woke up, finding yourself still in the clothes you were in when you were dragged here.

How long have I been asleep? You yawned as you got up from the bed. You had the feeling you forgot something but couldn’t remember what it was.

Suddenly, your stomach grumbled.

Oh right, dinner. You finally remembered what the thing you forgot was. You grabbed your D.D.D and went out of your room, heading to the direction that you believed was the dining room.

However, what greeted you when you exited your room was a dark hallway.

Strange, why is the light not on? You wondered as you tried to find your way through the darkness. After 5 minutes, you reached the dining room but it was also covered in the silent darkness.

Wait, just what’s going on? Are those demons trying to scare me? You asked yourself. Let’s check the kitchen. With that thought you turned back because the kitchen was next to your room.

The kitchen was also covered in darkness. But there was a difference, the darkness didn’t cover everything completely, you could still see the light from the refrigerator. As you walked closer, you could still make out a large figure standing in front of the fridge and you could hear chewing sound.

Since you were in the Devildom, the literal Hell and the kingdom of demons, monsters and abominations of various kinds, you thought it would be better to not alert the creature and turn back.

“Oh, it’s you, MC.” Before you could make your escape, the large creature turned back and discovered you. In the darkness, you could make out the orange hair and a pair of purple eyes.

“Beelzebub?”

“Yes, it’s me.” The orange head demon nodded.

“What are you doing alone here in the darkness?” You asked.

“To devour whatever food I can find in the fridge of course. But I could ask you the same, what are you doing here, MC?”

“Well, isn’t it time for dinner? I came to the dining room but found no one there.”

“MC, uh…I think you should check your D.D.D. It’s midnight.”

What? At first, you didn’t want to believe Beelzebub but when you opened your D.D.D to check, you found his words to be true. The phone screen’s time showed 23:59, and you were just in time when it turned 00:00, officially ending your first day in the Devildom.

“So I missed my dinner.” You said as you tried to reassure within yourself that the demons must have left something for you, though even you doubted that.

“Yeah, we thought you didn’t want to eat dinner so we already ate your portion. There’s nothing left of it.”

“Oh, so is there anything left in the fridge?”

“No, nothing left in the fridge. I ate all of them.” Beelzebub answered then walked past you, exiting the kitchen, leaving you and an empty fridge.

Your stomach grumbled again. But you had nothing to satisfy your hunger. You could only hold your abdomen as you went back to your room. Looked like you would have to suffer hunger tonight. No one really cared about you here. You might even be dead for whatever reason that they probably not knowing anything until your body started to decompose and they only found out due to the smell. You wanted to cry but you manage to hold the tears back.

Don’t cry, MC. If you cry over a meal and the uncaring attitude of those demons, how are you gonna survive in Hell for one year? You shouldn’t cry because of those demons, they’re just like society, which doesn’t give a damn about you.

“May I ask what are you doing here, MC?”

You turned around and met a pair of crimson eyes. You knew it to be Lucifer, the eldest of the brothers.

Lucifer frowned when he saw your face. Even though it was dark, demons could see very well in the dark, they are creatures of the darkness after all. And what the Avatar of Pride saw were your red eyes that threatened to turn to two waterfalls at any given moment and quiver lips.

“No, it’s nothing.” You tried to dismiss the issue and walk away but the eldest already blocked your way.

“MC, it’s my duty to take care of your need while you are staying here and not letting you suffer any unjust discomfort. Tell me, what’s troubling you?”

You were unsure why but you felt attracted to the pair of crimson eyes when you looked at them. You felt that you could tell him any difficulty and it would be resolved.

“I’m hungry.” You said.

“Hungry? Didn’t you have dinner with my brothers?”

“I overslept and missed it. Your brothers decided to divide my portion among themselves. Beelzebub ate all the food in the fridge so now I have nothing to eat.”

“I’m sorry that this kind of inhospitality happened, MC. I wasn’t home at dinner and my brothers caused trouble for you. Nevertheless, it’s my fault for letting this kind of situation happened. Please let me make it up for you.”

“Ok.” You weren’t sure how the eldest was going to make it up for you but you agreed anyway, better than refusing and letting yourself suffer.

With your permission, Pride led you to his room, where he took out some high quality delicious dishes and a bottle of wine from a hidden cabinet.

“Wait, you store food in your room?”

“Well, yes. Sometimes, I need to enjoy a peaceful and quiet meal without my brothers’ interference, so I hide some dishes from Ristorante Six, a high end restaurant in Devildom, in there. I hope you will not tell my unruly brothers about this.”

“Ok. You have my word for that.”

“Very well.”

After the first bite, you found yourself eating the most delicious dishes you had ever tasted.

“These dishes are so good.” You praised as you were digging in.

“I’m glad you like Devildom food. Eat more.”

“Aren’t you going to eat? They’re yours after all.”

“No need. This is me compensating for you.”

“You should eat too. Or else I would be feel guilty of eating someone else’s food, being no different from your brothers.”

“Alright, if you insist.”

Then you assumed eating. You didn’t notice the pair of crimson eyes looking at you. The owner of those eyes didn’t care about eating, but only fixing his gaze on you.

It’s a good feeling. Lucifer said within himself and smiled. He even poured a glass of wine, whose name you later learnt to be Demonus, for you, saying the best food should be accompanied with best wine.

The next morning,

“MC, do you like our new chandelier decoration?” The eldest asked when you stepped inside the dining room for breakfast.

You looked above and found the five brothers being hung on the chandelier.

“Why am I hung up here? I have carefully disposed of all the bills. Why?”

“Lucifer, please let me down. I still need to watch that special episode of Ruri-chan.”

“I didn’t cause any trouble or prank you. This is you being prejudice against me.”

“Lucifer, being hung up will harm my skin.”

“So hungry.”

You looked at the decoration for a little while before smiling.

“It’s very peculiar. But I like it.” You said as you went to your seat and sat down.

“All of you,” Lucifer looked up and said, “Reflect on your action last evening.”

“Wait, what did we do?”

“Figure it out yourself.”

Why the others were complaining, the fourth born looked at you and frowned.

“Oi oi, I think it’s about the dinner last night.” Satan whispered to the others as they began to discuss among themselves.

It seemed that you would be receiving many apologies that same day. And it was all thanks to the Avatar of Pride.

Even if it’s out of obligation, at least he cares for my well-being.

Author’s words

I had this idea in my head some months ago before writing it. With the brothers don’t give a damn about us in early season 1, there’s high chance we will have to go hungry and have nothing to eat if we miss a meal or come to the dining room late.

Also, Lucifer having taken a liking of us since the start (evidence in Lesson 2-A normal) also inspires details in this fic.

[ask-the-monster-nest-xxx]

@devildomflower

Lucifer sighed yet again. "I am punishing one of the perpetrators. But I assumed there was more then one and the others aren't fessing up"

[pridesson]

..whatever.. rest up, lucifer.. this day doesn’t matter anyway.

Ahem, are you forgetting what day it is?

Is it your birthday? Happy birthday? Sorry, I haven’t slept in, like, two days. It’s been a long 86 hours.

[lucifer-ofpride]

hi :3

-🦚

Hello.

[ask-the-monster-nest]

"I heard it's your birthday today, so I brought you gifts and a small cake for just us to enjoy." Kaiden spoke softly with a smile.

(Lucifer

Lucifer smiled patting Kaiden on the head. "Thank you for that. It is nice to have others want to celebrate my birthday." He looked at the cake and gifts. "So what did you bring?"

[pridesson]

yahyahayhayha I wannna:DDD

NYDADGH MYDADD MUDADGHH MAYFDAF

Hello, Norman. It's been too long, I hope you're doing alright. I have some time to spend with you now if you'd like. Just let me know and I'll be ready by the door to go out in ten.

[pissylittlebirdboy]

oh shit, Lucifer’s back?

did he go into a depressive episode and make a bunch of rubber ducks for you lot, too?

for us, he recently kicked Adam’s, the First Man Adam’s, ass. Then Adam got stabbed to death by a janitor.

[pridesson]

Hey Norman. How's your relationship with Lucifer since everything simmered down? -With Love and Care, Lilac S🪭

I still hate him, honestly.

[clavicula-ovis]

     » » @thirdwave-mtr dares to ask; ❝ [ × ] It's a sigh that's loudly comes from Raphael's throat that breaks the silence of the nearing empty classroom, and he honestly hadn't expected it'd come out at all. But the heavy wonder of how Lucifer can do it is beyond him, like it always was. He can barely do certain errands these days without wondering of another profession, even just offhandedly. But with the situations around the Devildom just more amplified and intense versions of what he'd known once upon a time, he tries to just take deep breaths. It's best to day less.

But only for so long. “Lucifer." Raphael addresses the raven haired demon directly. "You keep fretting over everyone else, but you won’t even take a second to relax, yourself." Somethings never change. Was left unsaid, because it would be inappropriate to Raphael after already disturbing the other. ❞

     From Exhaustion Starters

     ›› It was a morning that started like any other; the brothers were all put into line, all besides Leviathan were filed off to RAD, and Lucifer had begun his day studying in earnest. Of course his brothers had to be disciplined often, kept on track, their meager bickering and whining dealt with. To him it was hardly anything beyond the ordinary, so when Raphael pointed out that he seemed to be ignoring his own needs, he could not help but wear a frown for a brief moment. The answer he gave in turn really was all he needed to say;

    ❝ If I don't keep them in line, who will? ❞

     ›› Those words were spoken with ease for they carried the weight to fend off most other types of rebuttal; it was the unfortunate truth that Lucifer was saddled with the responsibility, no matter what any had to say about it. The brothers were his charge to care for as they had been for centuries. Nothing short of divine miracles would change that fact, but he could still have a bit of fun in his swiftly-appended retort that fell from lips pulled up in a knowing smirk.

    ❝ Are you offering to take my place for the day, Raphael? How surprisingly kind of you. ❞

[pridesson]

you don’t like caw caw? caw to the caw?

I don't like it, Norman

[taifenggg]

hi! 🌷 i love your scenarios so i instantly came to rq here <3

could you write about mc and the brothers having possessive s3x for the first time? their relationship is relatively new and they did it a few times, but for some reason they got jealous and the way they deal with it is by having somewhat angry / possessive s3x with reader (which is very different from what they're used to do

for example: belphie is usually lazy or slow, satan is a gentleman and spends a lot of time on foreplay, reader notices how their usual this time is almost the opposite bc the brother in question is SO jealous

idk if it made sense </3 if writing the 7 of them feels too much for you, then would mammon + satan + barbatos be okay? they're my favorites!

have an amazing day btw i love your content

Content Warning(s): NSFW obviously LMAO, hairpulling(Lucifer, Belphie), semi-public(Mammon, Asmo), overstimulation(Satan), slight degradation(Belphie), not proofread LOL

Character(s): GN!Reader(no pronouns mentioned), Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmo, Beel, Belphie, Barbatos

Authors Notes: hi there! i'm so flattered you love my writing, it means a lot! and dw I saw your other ask, so you're all good no worries about verification. nonnie, I'll do you one better and I ended up writing all the bros plus barbs as a bonus lol. enjoy!

nsfw under the cut! minors dni or i will block you :)

Reminder to abide by my guidelines for NSFW content tysm :]

Guidelines for NSFW Content [ ◇ ]

Lucifer [🦚💙]

Others keep occupying your time.

"Remind me again, who exactly do you belong to?"

Your moans are stifled as you press your face against the pillow. Lucifer's pace is relentless and although he can be rough in general, tonight feels different. There's something far more carnal and possessive in the way Lucifer thrusts into you. His movements are done so with reckless abandon, a stark contrast to how he usually takes you.

"Y-you Lucifer!" you gasp, body shaking from the intense pleasure coursing through your body. You yelp and moan out his name as he runs a hand through your scalp, pulling your face so that you're staring at him, his hands having a firm grip on your hair. "I can't hear you, louder," he commands you, your faces practically centimeters away from each other.

"You Lucifer!" you sob, feeling his large hand pressing into the small of your back, pushing you down against the mattress. Lucifer smirks, his other hand trailing down to your neck, holding you there firmly. "That's right my love, me. Not my brothers and certainly not that shady sorcerer," he practically spits out those last words. Lucifer's head falls back as he continues to thrust roughly into you, feeling himself close to his release.

You can feel yourself tightening around him, and you arch your back, body shaking as your orgasm washes over you. Lucifer lets out a low moan, making a few more shallow thrusts into you before spilling his seed into your hole. Chest heaving, he pulls out, watching with satisfaction as his release trickles out of you. Taking two fingers, he trails them up your inner thighs, causing you to jump from how sensitive you were after your high. Lucifer takes his fingers and takes the excess that spills out, prodding it back in.

"Keep that in there my love, it's proof that you're mine after all, if not, I'll have to punish you a bit more unfortunately. You can do that, can't you?"

Mammon [💰💛]

Someone thought flirting with you at the casino was a good idea.

"Dammit, you drive me crazy y'know?"

Your legs are currently wrapped around Mammon's waist, goosebumps littering your skin as you feel the wall against your back, your shirt long discarded. Your arms are wrapped securely around Mammon's neck for support. Mammon kisses you roughly, hungrily, as if he were scared of you running away or disappearing from right in front of him.

"That damn incubus," he hisses, pushing into you, "Thinking they have anything on the Great Mammon. You're my lucky charm, no one else's." His teeth scrape at your neck as he leaves mark after mark. You're pretty sure your back is rubbed raw from how fast and hard Mammon is thrusting into you, and your legs shake around Mammon's waist, but despite this Mammon holds you securely, his grip on your thighs giving you enough support.

"Mammon!" you whine, your hands tangled in his hair. Your face is pressed into the crook of his neck, and you can hear Mammon gasp, groan, and curse with each thrust he makes. Judging by how loud the two of you were being, you had no doubt that the entire casino knew that you were getting fucked hard by Mammon.

"You're mine alright? Mine, mine, mine, my treasure," he whispers in your ear, and he accentuates each of his words with a slap of his hips against yours. Your moans become louder and you can practically feel yourself on the verge of releasing onto him.

"Mine." And with one last word, Mammon makes one last thrust up into you, hitting your most sensitive spot and you practically go limp in his arms as your orgasm washes over you. Mammon's hips slowly still, and he checks over you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

"I won't let anyone take you from me alright? Much less some random incubus who thinks they can steal my treasure from me."

Leviathan [🐍🧡]

You showed him your duo in an online game.

"Levi, they're just a friend!" You gasp softly as he pushes you into his bathtub, a pout on his face. Immediately, he presses himself up against you, rubbing his cheek against your exposed collarbone. "I don't care," he grumbles softly, one hand snaking up to pin your hands above your head, his other hand trailing underneath your shirt, caressing your sides. "I should be the only one to carry you, not anyone else. You're my player 2, my Henry," he nips at your shoulder and you shudder, feeling yourself grow aroused from the close proximity and from his touches.

"I don't care if they're ranked number one, I'll prove I'm better than them by beating them!" His pupils are dilated as he looks at you below him, and he can't help the sudden ache and the growing tent in his pants. Gasping softly, he starts grinding up against you, and you can't help but reach up for him, pulling his hips flush against yours, in search of some very much needed friction to relieve the tension you're feeling.

Both of your gasps can be heard, and you're pretty sure that if Levi didn't soundproof his room, anyone walking outside could probably hear just how heated the two of you were getting. You tighten your grasp on him, your hands snaking up to tug at the back of his hair cause Levi to moan against you as he kisses you roughly.

You stare up at him blearily, not even realizing when he shifted into his demon form. Shivering, one of your hands move from the back of his head, down to his abdomen and Levi jerks in your grasp, a flush painting his pale face.

"Do you know how badly I want you? Please don't give your attention to others, just stay focused on me."

Satan [😾💚]

Gets riled up because he sees Lucifer closer to you than he'd like.

Your chest heaves from exertion as Satan brings you to your umpteenth release. Your legs are shaking from overstimulation and you're pretty sure you've lost count of how many times Satan has made you come. His bangs stick to his forehead as he dives back between your legs, sucking marks along your inner thighs, his grip digging into the flesh of your thighs.

Your hands make their way to his hair, tugging on the golden strands and you feel Satan groan, his moans sending vibrations down your core. He looks up at you, pupils dilated. "Satan no more please! I can't take it anymore," you whimper softly, feeling tears prick at the edge of your vision. Satan only laughs looking up at you, using a hand to push his hair out of his eyes. "Nono, we're not finished yet," his voice is dangerously soft as he stares at you, body trembling underneath his gaze. His nose wrinkles and his eyes narrow as he pulls your bottom closer to him, once again positioning himself between your legs. "I can still smell him on you and I intend to erase every trace of Lucifer from you, from your mind, and from your body. Understand?"

You slowly nod, your thighs quivering either from anticipation or overstimulation, you weren't sure at this point anymore.

Satan smiles as he licks a stripe up where you're most sensitive, and your body jerks still sensitive from all your orgasming from earlier. You squirm to get your body away from him but his grip holds tight to you.

"Stay right where you are. I thoroughly intend to take my time with you tonight."

Asmodeus [💋🩷]

Your fans started getting too touchy with you.

Asmo isn't one to get jealous easily....not usually.

However, today was supposed to be about just you and him and it frustrated him to no end seeing your fans flock over to you, occupying all of your time. Asmo's eyes narrow as he watches them practically latch themselves onto you, and you barely pushing them away, laughing it off lightly. You're shocked by his sudden actions, grabbing your wrist and pulling you away from the crowd and down a secluded alleyway. His silence is rather unsettling, and there's a strange gleam in his eyes.

.....

"A-Asmo slow down!" You gasp out, feeling your back pressed against the wall, and Asmo's gaze trained on you, his hands sliding up your arms, pinning them above your head. You shiver, feeling his breath grace the outer shell of your ear, and you unintentionally tilt your head to the side, giving him more room to slot his face into your neck.

"Do you love me?" His question catches you off guard and you stare at him quizzically. "What? Of course I do." you frown slightly pulling on your hands, but Asmo holds your hands in place firmly. He presses his body against yours, and you gasp slightly, feeling his knee pressing against your crotch. "You sure seemed to be having fun entertaining those fans of yours. While I don't mind everyone fawning over you, today was just supposed to be about me and you was it not?" He has a slight pout on his face, lip jutting out.

You stare at him incredulously, eyes wide. If you were being honest, Asmo was adorable, especially with that little pout on his face. "It's not like you to be this jealous," you laugh a little, your face flushing. You feel him press your body more against the wall, and you have to suppress the urge to let out a moan as he continues grinding his leg against where you're most sensitive. His hand snakes past the waistband of your pants and you nearly keel over from his touch, leaning against him for support.

"I'm only like this for you, and no one else."

Beelzebub [🍔❤️]

His Fangol teammates were far friendlier to you than he'd like.

Your throat is sore, but that's a given considering you had spent the good part of the last few hours screaming out Beel's name, cheering him on after he scored point after point. What you certainly didn't forsee was you practically folded over one of the benches in the locker room, Beel holding one of your legs wide open as he thrusts into you roughly. The way you're positioned, if someone were to open the door to the locker room would end up seeing you sprawled out as Beel rammed himself against you.

"S-slow down Beel! It's too much!" Your head falls back, and you feel like you're being split apart by how big he is. Normally, Beel is much more gentle, taking his time with you but it seems that in the heat of the moment, he chose to forgo any sense of moderation.

"I don't like that my teammates got too close to you," he grunts, hips stuttering as he pulls you closer, his chest heaving from exertion. Ah that's right, he's referring to his teammates that immediately crowded around you to thank you for cheering so fervently for them. You remember the way Beel watched you from outside the crowd, his expression unreadable. You can recall conversing with his fellow teammates before feeling a pair of hands loop around your waist, pulling you towards them....which somehow led to the situation that you were currently in.

Beel's grip on your thigh is borderline painful, and you're sure that there'll be marks there come tomorrow from how roughly he's currently manhandling you. You reach up grasping at his arm, momentarily causing his movements to falter as he looks at you, temporarily shaken out of his frenzy. "Beel slow down please, I swear I only have eyes for you," you whimper softly, your legs shaking. His expression softens as he stares down at you, leaning over to press an apologetic kiss to your forehead. His motions are slower now, you notice, and there's a tenderness in the way he holds onto you now, one hand pressed against your waist, the other still holding onto your thigh but much less tight now.

"Sorry, you drive me crazy. I promise I'll make this up to you later."

Belphegor [🐮💜]

Your project partner was getting too buddy-buddy with you.

"Hahh, fuck you're so tight~"

Belphie practically hisses this in your ear as he sinks into you, bent over one of the desks in an empty classroom. The surface is cold against your front, your RAD uniform unbuttoned, and shirt pushed up as Belphie leans entirely against you. Your knuckles are white from how hard they're gripping the desk, meanwhile, Belphie has a good grasp on you from behind, his hand tugging at your scalp.

Your back arches as he thrusts into you, using your head as leverage, and you're pretty sure everyone outside has a pretty good idea of what's going on, based on how loudly the desk is scraping against the floor. Your gasp, shoulders hunched as you hold onto desperately to the desk. Belphie's tail flicks irritably as he watches your expression. "Enjoying this are you? Do you really like everyone outside knowing how I'm using you right now? Let them know how desperate you are for me to fuck you dumb like this. Go on, moan louder why don't you."

Your heart pounds in your chest and you let out shuddering breaths as Belphie's hips snap against you, hitting your most sensitive spots. He leans over, whispering in your ear, "The door's unlocked, and anyone could walk in right now and see the two of us like this. Are you getting off to this? To the idea of others seeing what a mess you are right now? Well, that's too damn bad because no one can have you like I can, and certainly not your project partner....what's their face?" He practically spits out, and you can feel the jealousy practically dripping off of him.

"Thinking they're better than me, too bad they'll never get the chance to see you like this. Oh well, you'll behave for me won't you?"

+ Bonus

Barbatos [⌛🖤]

The Young Master was occupying too much of your time.

"Apologies, I'm afraid I won't be able to restrain myself tonight."

You stare at Barbatos confused, watching as he approaches you at the foot of the bed, smoothly pushing you down in one swift moment with one hand. The other lifted to his mouth as he bites at the finger, and pulls it off just as swiftly. Your mouth is agape as he switches hands, holding you down with ease as he removes his other glove.

"As much as I'd like to thank the young master for consistently inviting you over for tea, I will admit there are times when it was just the two of us without his presence." His hands trail your figure, and you're not quite sure what it is about him tonight but he seems.....different. He's far more forward, taking the initiative rather than waiting for you to take the lead. You gasp as you feel his mouth on you, his teeth scraping along your neck. You gasp, leaning away so he has more room to do as he pleases.

"Barbatos-" He presses a finger to your lips, effectively shushing you. There's just something that turns him on so much, seeing you underneath him so helpless and pliant. His nose is wrinkled slightly as he gazes at you. You lay there, back arching as Barbatos has his way with you, cold hands caressing you, but not touching you where you ached for him the most.

"Hush now, let me take care of you, my love."

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[ask-the-monster-nest-xxx]

"Lucifer? You in here? I was told by your brothers you were h..." As soon as Kaiden enters, he froze and blinks by the sight. "Um...What's eith the bunny ears?"

Lucifer nods and looks at Kaiden. "Oo this? It is for a party thing that the others wanted to do and I said I would join them in helping. It is a bit embarrassing." He tilts his head. "Is there something else bothering you dear?"

[hunn1e-bunn1e]

Demon Brothers - With Flirty Male Reader

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

So! While writing this ask I've very quickly figured out that I can't flirt for my life. Thus; this ask was translated into Headcannons instead of my original plan of a split between Headcannons and a Oneshot. I hope you enjoy this because that was a half hour of embarrassment that I can't get back. —Benny🐰

                                                                                                   

🦚•♡•🦚•♡•🦚•♡•🦚•♡•🦚•♡•🦚•♡•🦚•♡•🦚

☕ You're either very brave or very very stupid; there is no in between. The audacity that you have to flirt with the avatar of pride: Lucifer himself is absolutely appalling. This poor overworked demon goes through full 5 minute factory reset just to understand what the fuck you just said to him.

☕ Stop. Please, just have a normal conversation with him. It can be about literally anything— A dream you had last night, the breakfast this morning, Beel's Fangol practice, your homework, how you think he should send Mammon to rehab for his obvious Kleptomaniac tendencies... Lucifer will even indulge in speaking about those weird captioned images and short videos that you call memes; just, please... he understands that he's handsome, but make it quick; he has paperwork to do.

☕ Do you really think that you can flirt your way out of a punishment? First Asmodeus and Diavolo (after Asmodeus spent some time with him, Diavolo attempted to flirt his way out of his Princely duties to take a few hour break) and now you? Goodness, he's surrounded by idiots. You're going to give poor Lucifer gray hairs, you know.

☕ Lucifer may let you bargain your way out of facing his wrath, though. He finds the image of you being ripped from your flirtatious facade and forced to think about things that you could offer him as collateral as he patiently taps his fingers on his desk to be on of the most amusing thing he's seen in almost 200 years. He won't lie; your nervous figiting is pretty entertaining too.

☕ Though... you might want to be a little more careful going forward, lest you catch the avatar of pride on a day that he's particularly stressed; he might just take you up on one of your occasionally more... lewd flirtatious remarks. Perhaps he'll put an end to your flirtatious ways with a well deserved spanking? Lucifer is sure you wouldn't complain, given your very clear attraction to him.

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💰 You broke him; the minute those words left your lips he went completely offline. Of course; Mammon thought that you were just making fun of him at first and tried to see of you'd slip up and insult him like so many others have. However, you only doubled down and now, the poor, flustered avatar of greed can barely look you in the eyes anymore.

💰 Truthfully, Mammon can't help but compare you to Asmodeus with how seem to need to add some sort of flirtatious comment into every sentence. Though you're not as dramatic and not at all cruel like his younger brother. He doesn't see your flirting as a bad thing but he can't help but get jealous when you start flirting with his brothers, Barbatos, Lord Diavolo and that angel. You're only supposed to do that sort of thing with him! He's your first man, dammit!

💰 Flirting your way out of being roped into a money making scheme? Pretty unlikely, believe it or not. When Mammon gets a hint of money he's chasing it and no amout of compliments will get you out of being dragged along for the ride. However, you might be able to flirt your way into getting him to take all the blame when the plan inevitably fails. All you need to do is lay it on thick and he's sold. This demon is madly in love with you, he will do anything you ask and more.

💰 While your first man is okay with taking the fall for you in any situation; he expects you to nurse his sore body back to health after hanging from the rafters for 6 hours again. You'll convince Lucifer to give him back Goldie too, won't you? Of course you would, Mammon doesn't work for free, after all.

💰 Mammon may or may not practice pick-up lines in his bathroom mirror. While he's confident in the solitude of his bathroom; once he's face to face with you his anxiety skyrockets and he stumbles over his words like a drunk man trying to navigate a dark room. You have no idea what you do to him, do you?

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🎮 Sorry, he's dead. Unfortunately, you had to go and flirt with this yucky otaku demon and he keeled over and died from overheating. Leviathan blushed so violently that he liquefied his brain and he fainted right then and there, bonking his head on various objects on his way down. Ah... poor guy...

🎮 Please, please, spare this poor man, he cannot handle it. Leviathan is too precious so go easy on him or he may just never leave that little hidey hole he calls a bedroom ever again. He's not brave enough to face you when you're like that! You may be his Henry but it feels like he's gone in too deep now, he can't even look at his beloved Ruri-Chan like he used to because you wrestled your way into her place! Just what the hell are you doing to him!?

🎮 You want to escape one of his long winded rants on TSL? All you need to do is give Leviathan a lovestruck gaze and his brain is fried; then you can make your escape. Fat Chance! As if he'd ever willing let you opt out of letting him share his one of his passions with you! Malfunctioning or not; he'll keep on talking; whether it's just to continue the conversation or to distract himself from you, we still don't know. You'll let him right? Or... do you think he's just a gross otaku afterall...?

🎮 If you do ever get into trouble with Lucifer for whatever reason; just pop into Levi's room and hide under the blankets in his bathtub while he's distracted by whatever game he's playing at the time. His older brother will never find out and neither will he until he stumbles upon you when he's feeling tired after an excruciatingly long raid. Of course, even after he finds you, he won't tell a soul.

🎮 Leviathan may or may not be hoarding various cosplays of characters with flirtatious personalities that just so happen to be in your size. How he got your measurements for the alleged cosplays is information that he will take to the grave. (He actually just asked Asmodeus but he prefers to seem mysterious about for some reason...)

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📚 Are you sure you wanna do that? Do you really want to take that risk? Truthfully, Satan knows all he has to do is amusedly raise a brow and you'll be quite as a mouse. But he finds it funny that you try to hide your fear of him behind that meaningless banter that you keep spewing. He's almost immune to your antics due to his abundant knowledge of human psychology and the time that he's spent observing you... almost.

📚 You'll have to either say something very shocking or tie it in with cats somehow in order to have an effect on Satan. He hangs around Asmodeus far too often (a personal headcannon of mine is that the two are actually very close) to be very influenced by flirtatious or suggestive remarks too much anymore. Usually he'll either raise a brow at you or just send you a teasing smirk. Though if you play into his vast knowledge and offer him a risqué fact he doesn't know, he'll be very interested.

📚 Wanna try your hand at flirting your way out of being on the receiving end of one if his wrathful outbursts? Are you a fucking idiot? Do you have no self preservation instincts at all?? You best get to steppin'; or else Satan will rip your face right off in his blind rage. To be honest, if you do go and try that, you deserve what you get in return for your stupidity.

📚 If you ever get into trouble with Lucifer, all you need to do is go to Satan and he'll harbor you in his room so long as you keep your hands to yourself. Make sure to let him know whenever you plan on flirting your way out of one of his oldest brother's punishments; he'll bring himself some popcorn. Not only will he get to see you embarrass yourself, he'll also get to see you annoy Lucifer; it's a 2 for 1 deal!

📚 If you catch him in a really good mood, Satan might just flirt back at you. Resting his chin on his palm and looking at you with the softest eyes as he lets loose words so sweet you'd think he was made of sugar. He can be really suave when he wants to, he just has to be in the right mood, ya'know.

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🛍 Look, I'll be blunt; Asmodeus hangs out with literal sex demons on the daily, he's heard everything. He's the avatar of lust; he is unfazed. So when I tell you that this man immediately thinks your just wanting to either have sex or something close to it, I'm serious. There is no if, and, but or in between; you guys are either doing the sideways tango or making out. If you don't want that, don't bother flirting with him.

🛍 Asmodeus is 100% unfazed by your flirting. No matter how sweet or raunchy you get, you'll never pull a big reaction from him. It'll mostly just be little hums of acknowledgement, his well rehearsed smile or bedroom eyes. I don't know what you were expecting, to be honest.

🛍 You think you can flirt your way out of doing anything with Asmo? Haha, no, you silly little human, you.~ He'll give you an airy little giggle and then drag you along to either his bedroom or whatever place that he needed to take you originally. Sometimes he'll strait up ignore you and act like you hadn't even said anything at all. Other times he'll use his charms and make you feel guilty for even thinking about opting out of spending time with him. It's a lose, lose situation; or a win, win depending on how much you like the guy.

🛍 You think he'll let you flirt your way out of one of Lucifer's punishments? Absolutely not! Or, at least, not without him giving you a few pointers first. Truth be told, Asmodeus thinks you have almost no rizz (he still loves you regardless~♡) and as the avatar of lust, he feels like it's his job to fix that! Or... at least try.

🛍 Truthfully, Asmodeus will keep you at an arm's length (for a while until he figures out your true intentions) like he does all of his sex demon friends. He believes you only want him for what they want him for; his body and looks. He won't ever show it but it does take a toll on him. He can breath a sigh of relief when he figures out what you really want from him.

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🍔 It's like talking to a brick wall; Beelzebub doesn't get the implications of your words. And why would he? He's far too innocent and thick headed (in the sweetest way possible) to understand something like that. Why do you even want to flirt with this precious man? Are you trying to corrupt him, you heathen!?

🍔 If you want a flustered Beel, you'll have to drop the flirting all together. Say what you need to say in clear message so he can't confuse any meanings or insinuations even if he tried to. And boom. You'll get a cute, flustered giant with flushed cheeks and an angelic smile. He'll be like a school girl with a crush; shyly fiddling with his fingers and giddily shuffling in place.

🍔 Trying to flirt your way out of sharing your food with Beelzebub? Don't. Give him a portion, you stingy bitch. Flirting aside— how could have the heart to say no to this man, you monster!? Back on topic; flirting will just fly right over his head, so I wouldn't even bother. Just give him some of your food, it's not that hard. You'll get a cute, grinning avatar of gluttony out of it, so what's that harm?

🍔 You're trying to flirt your way out of a punishment from Lucifer? Well... Beel doesn't wanna make his eldest brother mad... but he also doesn't like the idea of not helping you when you need it. He's so torn! What should he do! Unfortunately for you, the poor man will be so caught up in whether he should help you or not, that Lucifer has already found you and now you're hanging from the rafters. Please don't be mad at him, he didn't mean to ignore you, it was just a really hard decision for him!

🍔 When Beelzebub "flirts", he usually offers you some sort of food item that he really wanted to eat. He'll take occasional glances to see if you've eaten it or not and to see your reaction to it so he knows what you like in the future. Accept it! Don't you dare turn down a gift from this sunshine, you'll make him sad!

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🌌 Hey, so... you remember how he killed you via snapping your spine like a toothpick. I really wouldn't recommend flirting with him in any capacity. I don't think Belphegor would appreciate you waking him up to flirt or if he's already awake, which is a rarity in it's self, he'd rather you be quite so he can nap. He's just here to use you as a pillow, not to hear you run your mouth.

🌌 The best time to "flirt" with this slightly homicidal demon is when he decides that you deserve to take a nap with him. (Read as; when he decides to sleep on your bed and use you as a pillow.) However; said flirting must be soft and sweet. Gentle praises in a soft voice. Comb your fingers through his hair. Belphie will drift off to sleep with small smile on his face. Expect him to be in a very flowery mood when he wakes up again.

🌌 You want to attempt to flirt your way out of stargazing in the attic for the nth time in a row? Sure! You do that! In fact, Belphegor thinks that your bones are looking mighty crushable right now. Don't get too ahead of yourself, he's not above physically holding onto you and keeping you in the attic until he's satisfied. You're not getting out of this one, hun.

🌌 On the run from Lucifer? Belphegor's got you covered! Just head on up to the attic while he goes to Satan for a hex he can place on the door to keep the prideful demon away. Anything to fuck with Lucifer will have him come running, so keep him informed, okay?

🌌 On some rare occasions, when you and Belphie are alone together, he can be real sweet to you. Calling you something romantic like his north star or something of the like. However, he quickly ruins the mood with an obnoxious yawn. Whether he does that on purpose or not is up to you.

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[ask-the-monster-nest]

@flameandindifference

Lucifer nodded "Quiet is a good word. I prefer quiet as well but I like my cursed music. Speaking of which. I got some new music if you want to listen to it?" He patted Lucius on the head. "My own favorite word? Perhaps music? I actually don't truly know."

[pridesson]

I, too, am bored

And I think pestering Mr. Bird Enjoyer will be the most interesting thing to do, hence I am asking you for ideas on how to do that

I am doing this because I feel like seeing someone irritate your father would be entertaining

- 🍄

It would be.. if i was currently annoyed with him, but simce you reminded me of his existence I’m annoyed.

Spike his coffee for me, why don’t you?