#😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 what the fak

[shixige]

"You didn't seem very eager to help me back then." Actual fokin line😒

If XRY has a penny for every drama queen that is interested in him, he'll have two. Which isn't a lot but XRY is willing to break rules for one and the other one he'll one day poison.

[thebearer]

please please please need a part two of the fight blurb 😭 what happens next 😭😭😭

should i make it into a full fic omg?? maybe?? lol

but on the real, i think that he would have to take a leave from the restaurant, which truthfully, everyone needed. this is just what broke him. the one time he actually tries to deal with his shit and not just blow up, get embarrassed, try to make it up, and repeat the cycle with no real change. i mean, you took his babies? anchovy and teddy. you're not returning his calls. richie, fak, and sweeps are alternating wellness check watches because they're terrified he's going to hurt himself, especially after the way he spiraled when he found your wedding ring.

he knows where you're at. he managed to become technologically savvy all of a sudden and figured out how to see your location, that you shared with him when you first started dating. fak wouldn't let him take his car. richie had put him on a full blown "psych ward type shit" lockdown until he "got his shit together, cousin".

"richie said-"

"-richie's a fuckin' moron, give me my fucking keys, fak!"

"carmen," fak frowns. "i-i can't."

so carmen walked. he walked to sugar and pete's house. nearly an hour walk through chicago. smoking so much he felt sick.

pete answered the door, face falling as soon as he saw carmen.

"carm, h-hey, man-"

"-where is she?" carmen wasn't interested on any sort of small talk, tunnel visioned to get to you.

"uh, i-i don't-"

"-pete, i really don't want you to fuck with me right now, alright." carmen took a deep breath, throat burning with tears. "i need to see- i-i need to see her pete." he couldn't bring himself to even say your name.

a tiny meow came from behind pete, anchovy skippering towards carmen with bright eyes, tail raised. it made carmen's jaw clench, tears blurring his vision. he knew you had to be close by. looking at the time, you were probably feeding teddy, maybe putting her down for a nap. he should have been more considerate, came later in the day, carmen thought.

pete looked at the cat, down the hall, then back at carmen. "carm..." pete hesitated, gripping the door, letting it shut gently, shielding something behind him. "you know i can't."

"what the fuck? pete that's- just let me in." anger surged through carmen's chest, trying to swallow it down. all he'd been was angry. angry and sick and distraught, a never ending cycle for weeks, just amplified by your leaving.

"you want to get her back? quit actin' like a goddam baby." richie sneered one night, just days ago, when carmen was especially awful and mean. "quit actin' like this isn't your fuckin' fault. like you didn't do this to yourself. take some fuckin' accountability, grow the fuck up, and get your motherfuckin' shit together. and maybe-maybe you'll get your family back."

carmen turned, running a hand over his face, trying to calm himself. keep himself from crying, from screaming, from pushing pete down and running back there so he could see you himself- throw himself at your feet and beg for forgiveness.

"pete, please? please?" carmen's voice wobbled, breaking gently. "please l-let me talk to her. just let me- let me tell her i'm sorry. don't-"

"-carmen?" sugar's voice came from behind pete. her face dropped, different than pete's, her's was angry. "what the fuck are you doing here?"

"why do you think i'm here, natalie? huh?-"

"-oh, you've got a lot of fucking nerve showing up here." natalie sneered, pulling the door open and stepping out. "pete, go inside."

"nat-"

"-i got it." natalie hissed, eyes narrowing at carmen. she waited until pete left, shaking her head at him. "you should be fucking ashamed-"

"-i am-"

"-mortified." sugar continued. "do you know what i came home to the other night? i came home to pete taking care of your baby because your wife came here sobbing- sobbing, because you screamed at her? what the fuck is wrong with you? huh?"

"i don't know." carmen's voice was tight, fighting a tremble. "i-i don't fuckin' know. i didn't- i-i didn't mean-" a tear fell, the final crack in his demeanor. carmen wasn't sure how he had tears left, how he could sob anymore. yet here he was, on his sister's porch, tears flowing again.

sugar didn't comfort him, didn't move, just watched him through glaring eyes. "please let me s-see her. let me se-ee teddy, sugar, don't-don't keep my kid from me-"

"-i'm not keeping your kid from you." sugar snapped. "i didn't take teddy away. you know who did? you. you did carmen."

carmen flinched, he knew it was true but it still stung. "i know you don't remember dad very well, but you're acting just like him." sugar sneered.

"and before you try and come up with an excuse-"

"-i-i'm not-"

"-i want you to know, that every day. every single fucking day, there's days i want to drink myself to sleep. that mj or maggie make me want to pull my hair out and scream, or pete does something that infuriates me, but you know what i don't do?" sugar stepped towards carmen, arms still crosses. "i don't yell at them, i don't drink myself incoherent, i don't fucking act like mom or dad because i know how that felt." sugar jabbed a finger in her chest, eyes holding carmen's gaze intensely.

"i know how that fucked me up, i know how it fucked them up, how it fucked you and mikey up too- how it fucked everything in our fucking life up!" natalie laughed humorlessly. "and the last thing, the very last thing i would want, is to do that to pete, to my kids, to anyone."

carmen felt sick and yet eerily calm all at once. his chest was tight, he was sure he couldn't breathe, but he couldn't stop listening. a damning realization- a shameful one.

"you need to make up your mind, right here, right now, before you see anyone else." natalie stepped back towards the door. "you need to decide if you're going to continue to be a selfish piece of shit, or if you're going to change. and i can tell you, change is uncomfortable- it's not easy. you have to fight for it every single day. but i would rather do that than not have my family."

she looked down at carmen, twisting the knob. "you decide that, then maybe- maybe you can see them." carmen flinched at the door slamming behind her, not moving from his place on the porch, head in his hands.

fak showed up nearly an hour later, wide eyed and rambling about "how the fuck did you just leave? i was playing ball buster and-and then you're gone-"

carmen ignores him, sliding into the car slowly. "carmen?"

"you uh," carmen's voice is hoarse, staring straight ahead. "you said that, uh, that richie's got.... got someone for me to talk to?"

fak blinks, nodding slowly. "the therapist? yeah-"

"-take me there." carmen looks over at sugar's house. he isn't sure if it's his imagination or not, but for a moment he swears he can see you, peeking through the blinds.

"a-are you ok?" fak is worried, a little rattled at the sudden change. especially since carmen had been so adamant about not seeing "your stupid fuckin' therapist, richie, clearly she's no fuckin' good because look at you! you're still fucked up!" carmen's enraged words from days ago.

"no," carmen admits, throat swelling with a growing lump. "but, uh, i-i wanna be." he admits quietly, looking over at fak. "i gotta get my shit together, fak. i-i gotta be better for them."

fak doesn't deny it, doesn't console him. just goes quiet with a nod, driving away. carmen watches sugar's house disappear in the rearview, his heart aching, breaking, but he knows natalie is right. he knows he'll be back once he's better, that he has to be better. for teddy. for you. for your family.

[faerygrant]

Making out with Carmy and you get lipstick all over his face

[Sidenote/ I can imagine reader making a replica of the Maison Margiela lipstick shirt except she does it for Carmy on one of his chef whites as an intimate Valentine’s Day gift just for him when he’s cooking in the house 😭😭🫶😭😭]

He’d get so flustered if you did this in his office while everyone is out there. Especially if he doesn’t notice and then steps out to grab you a drink and you’re too hazed out to remind him there is lipstick stains of your lips covering his entire face. Just imagining him stepping into the kitchen and immediately Richie and Fak are whistling and being obnoxious about it. “Wohohoooo, you tryin out a new look Berzatto?” Richie is first to start the teasing and Carmen’s just like what? And then Fak follows with “I like the little look you got going on buddy, deep red is your colour” and Carmy is still fucking lost. “Alright what the fuck are you assholes talkin about?” And then Marcus comes in holding a tray of some desserts and has to break it to Carmy who is so quick to run back into the office, extremely flustered and a little embarrassed.

“You’re back… and empty handed, where’s my water Carm?” You question, laying on the sofa against his office wall and he’s “You didn’t tell me I had fucking lipstick all over my face” he groans immediately looking into his phone camera to assess the damage. “Oh shit, I forgot, m’so sorry Bear Bear.” You laugh hysterically, taking his pouty face in yours. “S’not funny, guys made fun of me.” He tries saying as your hands are still squishing his face and you can’t help but smile at how cute and pouty he’s being. “Aww is my Carmy Bear all flustered that his coworkers saw him covered in smooches, hmmm?” And he’s just rolling his eyes because while it may have been embarrassing he’d never take your kisses for granted.

[sueheesblog]

I just wanna share something my friend had said to me when we saw The Bear SZN 1 n 2 for the first. I remember she said "Oh, he's looking at her like he saw her before n he's shock to see her here (at The Beef)". This was SZN1 E1. I thought Carmy was just smitten by Sydney. You know, maybe he thought she was was pretty. I never thought about what my friend said.

Now, she finished SZN 3, and she decided to put a bunch of nonsense in my head like she did(or tried to do) with SZN 1 n 2. She's now saying "What if Carmy decided to check who got his blood orange dish and saw Syd" "what if Syd knows Carmy through magazines n Google. But, Carmy knows Syd because he actually saw her and remembered her from the restaurant in NYC " 😭😭😭 - This shit never crossed my mind. This is some outta pocket, otta box, and outta the ocean thinking 😂🤣😂🤣

I know my friend is crazy n extra. I wish she used social media 😭😭 But, her way of thinking made me feel stuff n thangs. She's trying to convince me that Carmy had a crush on Syd before they met in EP1 SZN 1 and that is why he never called her out on the "My dad use to eat here every Sunday" lie. She also thinks the reason y Syd calms Carmy's panic attack in Ep 9 SZN 2 was because he received the highest compliment from the woman who turns out to be the person who enjoyed his first meal (the follow his heart meal), who is now his new crush.

She used these things to back up her crazy theory.

1. Carmy was ready to give Syd what she wanted after 1 week of meeting her. "This is what you wanted" SZN 1:3

2. His sublet stares and smiles when he saw her or spoke to her.

3. The fact that he took it hard when she walked out on him n called him "a piece of shit".

4. Telling T that she dresses like Syd.

5. Gave Claire wrong number because he's over her. And things are going great with him and his new crush (Syd)

6. He's asking Syd "you happy" in SZN2:3. Because making her happy, makes him happy.

7. Then Claire used the Faks (who are now known has a family of haunting) to find Carmy

8. Carmy's past is now haunting him. My friend also said the haunting actually started when Claire enters Carmy's life, but season 3 is using the Faks to shed light on it. Therefore, she believes Carmy is having a hard time facing Claire, because he knew from the beginning he didn't like her, but decided to give her a chance to see if his crush for Syd would fade. The worst part is that Claires haunting comes with alot luggage (Carmys mom, his old boss, Mickey, and everything bad)So basically my friend thinks both Syd n Carmy have a crush on each other, but none of them know it, and they both refuse to be the first one to confess it. And they are now aware of the shit they will have to go through together if they decide to acknowledge that invisible string between them and still stick by each other.

Y'all my friend got me Fxcked all the way up after she finished season 3, and started telling me all them crazy stuff..... I need y'all to agree with me that she's crazyyyyyy. Maybe someone can use her crazy ideas and write a fanfic?? Please.

[spywhitney]

Spoilers for season 3 of the bear:

The few sydcarmy-esque moments and my thoughts on S3.

☠️ When there's a flashback to a quick kiss between Carmy and Claire (with the word EMERGENCY on an ambulance blurred in the background), it cuts to Carmy saying I'm sorry to Sydney. This stood out to me.

☠️ The flashback to the best meal Syd ever had was red- this reminded me of the "Sydney's donut" made by Marcus. (Someone on Reddit pointed out this connects back to Syd's risotto in S1; in S3 Carmy made the excuse of a fennel allergy to make the dish he wanted to, both instances they went against the grain had big impacts).

☠️ In Legacy Carmy told Syd she looked nice (first compliment on her appearance, so yay?).

☠️ When Carmy invites Syd to the funeral of Ever. Most intense eye contact with them this season imo. He's staring at her a lot and she keeps looking down and clearly wanting to know why he wants her there or whatever.

☠️ Carmy touches the small of Sydney's back in Forever.

S3 thoughts:

"Richie what the fūck is this?" No, but seriously wtf was this season?

-Characterisations less honed in, more dim

-Chemistry was dialled back?!?!

-No, or arguably less development on Claire

-Lack of plot direction or cohesion at times

-Unsophisticated use of flashbacks

-Too much time spent on the Faks

-Comedy was meh

-Not enough time spent on scenes or plot points I felt were pivitol

-Carmy saying Claire is peace and tweaking out because of her despite the severe lack of emotional intimacy written for her or the relationship

-Still no time spent delving deeper into Sydney.

Idk what happened. 😭 (At least in terms of shipping neither side has really won. We've all lost atp lol).

[chefkids]

Hi, apparently Molly and Jeremy were spotted in Copenhagen beginning of June filming season 4. They wrapped the season soon after. Do you think it means Carmy is taking her to Noma? As some sort of grand gesture for the finale? I'm worried😭 why would they start season 3 with the recipient of the only dish that he put his own touch on being Syd and said dish ending up being the best meal of her life if they want him to end up with Cl*ire bear 🤐

I think people need to remember that Chris had three seasons of the show mapped out from the very start. Season 2 Carmy was all about being distracted from The Bear by Claire. Meaning that he knew Claire was going to be a character introduced in Season 2. If he wanted to sell the viewers on the truly being Carmy's long lost love of his life he would've started planting the seeds since season one. He planted seeds of Syd and Carmy's invisible string with the best meal she ever had comment she made to Marcus. He planted seeds about Donna's Christmas meltdown with a comment Carmy made to Tina. He knew what was going to happen in Part I, II, and III of The Bear since season 1. They are capable of writing well rounded interesting dynamic women. They chose to leave Claire as generic as they could. They chose to have their relationship in both season 2 and 3 be only based longing looks and kissing and virtually no deep conversations that felt truly emotionally vulnerable and like they led to anything.

Carmy taking Claire to Noma would mean he by some miracle gets back together with her, which I doubt she wants. She already expressed to the Fak's that she feels like it's done. But say she does get back with him. It would also imply he has regressed back to the point of continuing to impose Sydney onto Claire. Because Claire really doesn't give a fuck about Noma. And Carmy has already spent plenty of time there. It's Sydney who wanted to go there and look for inspiration.

So either Sydney will leave him and he'll find a way to convince Claire to be with him again and take her there as an "inspiration trip" and maybe in the process realize what he's doing is stupid af and that he's not finding inspiration without Sydney, because at the end of the day she is his muse now. And he'll realize he can't just keep pretending that Claire is Sydney and he'll finally stop regressing and stop using Claire as an avoidance tactic for dealing with his feelings about Sydney.

Or Molly being there probably had nothing to do with what they filmed and she as just there for fun and support. There were many others from the cast and crew there, so who knows. We'll see.

Either way I do not have doubt that Claire and Carmy will be done by the end of the series. She is not his future. She was only really seen as his past in season 3, and in Season 2 when they were in the present, she was only seen as a stand in Sydney for Carmy.

[ambeauty]

I care more about Francine Fak than Claire because what did she do to piss Natalie off so bad? 😭😭😭

[whateven333]

The Bear season 3- opinion:

Whilst I enjoyed season 3 of The Bear, I did not enjoy it as much as I had the other seasons.

Season 3 felt very much like its sole purpose was transitional, it seemed to have begun to set up interesting conflicts but instead of then delving into those we were subjected to a lot of moody flashes of backstory and whilst these were beautifully done, to have a whole season that was chock full of moments like this really dulled the impact for me as opposed to if these moments had been spread out over a longer season in-between episodes where we were allowed to focus on exploring conflicts etc.

When I got the majority of the way through season 3, I stopped and thought to myself how I couldn't seem to recall many events of note that had occurred thus far and I was also left feeling the same way once I had reached the end of the season.

I want to say the season had a weirdly filler-esque feeling to it -but the thing is, I love filler, but I did not love this season -so it's not exactly that. Also please don't hate me for this I'm sorry i loved them in the other seasons 😭...but I've grown real tired of the Faks this season...their scenes definitely felt like filler but I felt as if the humour wore off pretty quickly... imo the Faks would have been better in small doses as in the previous seasons, their scenes felt especially frustrating further on through this season when it felt like we had so much still left unanswered and unseen of other characters.

Though one part of this season i thought was so well done was Natalie/ (Sugar) going into labour, her scene in the car where she was frantically calling everyone broke my heart but that scene and episode in general I thought was great.

Another part I loved- the scene showing us the meal Syd had from Carmy where he changed the fennel shit to blood orange whatever the fuck (I do not know much about cooking im sorry 🙏🏾💔) anyway, thought that scene was beautiful, very red string of fate type thing -I ate it right up <3

Please do not think that my lack of preference for this season is to do with a lack of SydCarmy, in fact I rather enjoyed their scenes and felt like we have a lot of delicious angst potential set up to explore (fanfic writers I'm looking at U👁👁...) I think I was mostly put off by what felt like an over-abundance of moody flashbacks and montages, these made the season feel like a bit of a drag.

But still overall a solid enough season with a lot of potential left to explore imo.

[goddessxdivine]

a lot of people watched the bear and felt that it was lacking especially in terms of plot and I can understand that but I think s3 wasn’t that bad really. I think a lot of people had different expectations of what would happen this season, especially considering how much more fame that show has received. But imo the bear was never really the type of show that’s packing as much plot as they can into a season. I remember watching the s1 finale and feeling a bit let down (and I watched the show when it premiered so I had to live on a prayer that it’d get renewed and then had to wait the entire year before s2 lol). however, this is a show that I think you need to rewatch the season more than once. maybe im just a little slow lol but I’m always able to learn a bit more after a rewatch or two….or three.

I am not a fan of clairecarmy at all and my main goal for this season was to not have them shoved down my throat (especially in present time) so to me a win is a win fr lmao

back to rewatches. on the first watch, in ep1 we saw the scene where carmy makes the meal that syd told Marcus was the best thing she’s ever eaten. this is something I saw people mention but what is also important is that carmy had been experimenting with that recipe for a while. he never felt that he got it right. on my rewatch, I noticed that he made two (or three. I can’t recall off the top of my head) dishes the same way with the fennel thingie. but he felt the need to change it for one plate. he told the waiter that one of the dishes went to a table with a fennel allergy so he subbed blood orange. that was syd’s dish, her favorite dish that carmy made. now, does syd have a fennel allergy? most likely not since they were experimenting with fennel for a recipe in s2.

to me, this is just a testament to how well syd and carmy understand each other even when they didn't know each other personally. carmy is a terrible communicator (scientifically proven atp) but syd isn't always the greatest communicator either, at times shes avoidant (the best word that comes to mind). at the end of the day, they both respect each other and hold each other to certain standards that only they know even if they've yet to explore that themselves

in terms of plot between sydcarmy, there are things that I liked. for example, to me s3’s:

"I left you alone"

"so, don't let it happen again"

"it's never going to happen again"

and s2’s:

"you could do this without me"

"I couldn't do this without you. I wouldn't even want to do it without you"

are similar. they are both instances where carmy makes a profession to syd because he feels he has something to prove to her. platonic sydcarmy is nonexistent imo. syd is family (ex: syd saying she doesn’t know a lawyer. nat and carm saying “Pete”). who did carmy invite to go to the ever funeral despite having no place inviting anyone 😭 syd. he knew she hadn’t eaten there and this would be her last chance. richie being there? made sense. but he could’ve invited fak or anyone from the restaurant. but he invited syd.

some people said they saw something between luca and syd and tbh that was just will poulter and Ayo Edebiri being good actors lol tbh Ayo has chemistry with everyone it seems

tl;dr

the bear s3 was good and is overly judged. there definitely could’ve been improvements but it was good nonetheless. sydcarmy are forever 🤭

[currymanganese]

The Bear & Can't Hardly Wait - Deconstructing a Highschool romcom

After making these posts about possible references to Can't Hardly Wait (1998) in The Bear Season 2, I watched the movie today and I'm now convinced that Carmy and Claire's relationship was a riff on Preston and Amanda's relationship in Can't Hardly Wait.

In Can't Hardly Wait, Amanda is beautiful, the most popular girl in Highschool, and Preston is the shy nerdy kid that sat next to her in 8th grade English class. Amanda doesn't notice Preston, but after Amanda's jock boyfriend breaks up with her, Preston (who has been nursing a crush on Amanda for four years) works up the nerve to try to ask her out at a graduation party before he leaves for college. Touched by a love letter he wrote to her, Amanda reciprocates his feelings and they share a kiss in a train station before Preston departs, while a "where are they now?" caption fades into the scene, indicating that Amanda (who has no plans for what to do after HS yet) wrote a letter to Preston everyday while he was in college, and that Amanda and Preston are still together in the present day.

I believe Fak was hoping for Carmy to have a 'Happily-Ever-After' story with Claire, like Preston and Amanda did, but unfortunately, Carmy isn't Preston, and Claire certainly isn't Amanda. I believe Storer and Calo deliberately made viewers recall teen romcoms like Can't Hardly Wait with the Claire/Carmy subplot in Season 2, with the intent that we'd think:

Preston/Amanda's and Claire/Carmy's first kisses can be compared below, take note of the song played over Carmy and Claire's kiss and the end credit scenes in both works: Can't Hardly Wait by The Replacements (Fak's favourite song 😭).

[thebearer]

Ted Fak would never let Carmy hear the end of how he must’ve named Teddy after him

😭😭😭 this is the best ask i’ve ever received bc it’s so fuckin true

him and neil go AT it about it too

“oh carm’s your best friend, huh? then why’d he name his first born child after me?”

“carmy did not-“

“-oh yes he did. he told me-“

“-no he didn’t- CARMEN!”

carmen is so annoyed and perplexed by it the first time. like he didn’t ever correlate those two things until the fak brothers are bickering in front of him.

“her name is dorothea. wh-why would she be named after you?” carmen blinks, brows furrowed in confusion.

“see! see! that’s what i said, carmy. i said no way carmen and mrs. carmen would name their baby after him.” neil rambles.

“then why’d you call her that, huh? also carm,” ted puts his hands on his hips. “kinda hurt you didn’t ask me to be the godfather. godfather of my own namesake.”

“what? its teddy which is a nickname for dorothea, and its teddy like teddy bear. its just- its cute and it worked.” carmen is annoyed now, huffing and rolling his eyes. “and you gotta take the godfather stuff up with richie. cousin!” carmen walks off leaving ted wide eyed in fear.

richie tears into him for insinuating he should’ve been the godfather. threatens to haunt him “for eternity, theodore, eternity.”

[ihavemanyhusbands]

Ettie, my Love <3 You already know what's coming :3 

Soft Richie yet again :3 So think about that scene in the car when he was singing Taylor Swift’s song... Now imagine if he picked up that habit of showing up super early and doing something in the restaurant to keep himself grounded (I think about those goddamn forks, because they would remind him of the place when he realized what he's good at and what he enjoys the most). Now imagine him mindlessly singing either Taylor's songs or some other star his daughter is obsessed with.

And now imagine the chef!reader coming in early to see him performing full of choreography with forks as microphone <3 

Love, G. 

AAJADUIEOWIWKW 😭

——

If there was one thing you expected to see first thing in the morning at the Beef, it certainly wasn’t Richie singing the chorus of “Love Song” in falsetto.

Before you could even get to your locker, you were arrested by the image of him lost in his little performance, using one of the forks he was prepping as a microphone to sing to an invisible audience.

You liked watching him in the zone, free for once from every day stress. He was uninhibited in a way you rarely ever saw him, and you couldn’t help but feel your heart flutter giddily. And even if his singing wasn’t great, it was heartfelt, and that’s what mattered.

When he was done, panting a little from the exertion, you clapped. The sudden sound startled him, causing him to drop the fork, which rattled loudly on the ceramic floor.

He turned beet red at the sight of you clapping like a fan girl, smiling wide. He cursed under his breath.

“One more song?” You asked hopefully, half-teasing.

“Hell no, you already got enough of a show,” he grunted, avoiding eye contact as he picked up the fork.

“What? But that was amazing, Richie!” You said, wanting to keep pushing his buttons. “Ugh, I should start a fan club, really. The Jerimo-bitches. How’d ya like the sound of that?”

He couldn’t help but laugh at that, rolling his eyes at you. “Fuck off! That was terrible!”

You laughed as well, making your way to your locker and swapping out your shoes. “You’re lucky it was me and not Fak, actually!”

“Yeah, well, I’m still never gonna hear the end of it.”

“Just you wait ‘til Tina gets here, superstar. We’ll make you serenade us.”

——

[carmenized-onions]

NEW CHAPTER, 14, new recap (can you believe the first one i recapped was chapter 5 oh my) lets rip some coke and goooo

“I thought it was a good bit!” “Cause I’m a piece of shit?” - IVE MISSED THISS

CHARMIN SOUNDS LIKE CHARMING 🥹🥹🥹

the deer in headlights bit is v funny, you’ll see when you see the memes (which i made before the chapter, i am nostradamus)

she is fruity for sure

nodding like i understand food talk (tf is a3)

unrelated but the same therapist thing reminded me about something i keep forgetting to bring up - RICHIE IS HR. so when you mentioned the bear needs an HR, well they do. and as long as carmy treats chip right i think he’ll accept the co-worker relationship (anything to be able to work with chippy)

THE CAT. he is those cute curly kitties. the shat, iykyk

the fact carmen wants to say ‘i love you’ this early (something he struggled a lot to say to his family) IS SOOOOOOOOO

OMG CHIPPY GOING TO WORK FOR THEM FOR REAL????:333333333

This has been Carmichael Burrowski, folks! Don’t call no one— — DNEKRKRIOELEKDKFODNEKE CARMICHAEL BURROWSKI

Ugh, boyfriend? What kind of word is ‘boyfriend’? That's fucked. - THEYRE SO SIMILAR AND PERFECT TOGETHER

And you cannot say you love him because that would be weird. - OH SHUT UP THEYRE SO

“I’m going to kiss you.” “Yeah, okay.” - THAT IS SO FUNNY SJDJFJKF

He’s fine with the touch of hair pulling, on your part— Possibly more than fine. — *giggles in meme*

“You’re so pretty.” You tell him anyway, speaking into his half open mouth.  Whatever thought he had, it’s dead now.“—Jesus fucking Christ.” - i need them to know how much i love them jesus fucking christ

“I’m not a fucking virgin.” - LMFAOEKRKKEOEKEKRNRKRKRKEKEKEKE

“It was a recent development, okay?” “Darn. Sorry I was late.” - 🥺🥺🥺 imagine -

“I want you in every sentence.” - FUCKING KILL ME WHY DONT YOU CARA MIA😭

to bite you like a cannibal - this man and his hickeys🤭🤭🤭

“Fak is still outside, I’m pretty sure.” - CHIP??1?2?2?3kr3kr3kr3kr838484kr4&4&4

“Wait— Are they?” Oh, so Richie’s here, too? Good. - oh great everyone’s here, bet squid is there too

NUZZLING NOSES

her old cat, her old pu-

Nuzzling your face into Syd’s cheek - squidink as she’s holding carm’s hand?? wild

“First of all, wrong placement.” - ofc it is

When shit happens, you call me - 🥺🥺🥺 bestie!!!

“Get your weird little hands off my Chip, you perv—” - LMFAOOOW DJEJEJDJDJ I LOVE HIM SO

and syd’s reply sidjdifi

“Y’know how going to a different barber is like cheating—?” - SJDJDJ GET HIS ASS CHIP. they swapped her for fucking ted fak???

“You’re still— We’re still sharing, right?” - SYD SHENJEHEJE

I’m sexually normal - very normal thing to say, it me tho

OMFG IF CHIP RECOGNIZES DONNA AND PETE FROM OUTSIDE THE RESTAURANT

“Baby’s do traditionally experience time, yeah.” “You n’ that smart mou—” - their dynamic is unmatched

You have to respect the power in that. “Damn.” - that reminded me of marcus

“Oooh, Charmin gets his first paycheck suddenly he’s all that—” “You wanna come up to my room or not?” - i was gonna comment on the charmin thing but HELLO1??1?23)kr3:kr

THEY CAN HANG. SURE BRO

THEYRE WATCHING RATATOUILLE OMGGGGG

Sleeveless black turtleneck? Maybe black palazzo pants - HOT

Please say yes to the white apron. Please say yes to his team. He'll get your initials monogrammed and everything. - *passes out*

the wonderful rat chef

ON GOD

“Yeah. I’ll answer.” - bc 🥺😭

“You’re fucking Carmen!” - GOODBYEEEE. not carmen outing them YET AGAIN

“So fuck you, actually.” - 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

“Fuck off! I’m already coming to fucking Time Square with you, don’t be whiny.”  - this is giving when dwight was like ‘of course i’ll get that stuff for you so just shut up’

“I nominate Carmen.” “I second the nom.” - tag-team<33

Don’t fuck in a fuckin’ Holiday Inn Chip’s worth mo - he’s so sweet and yet so???

HE CALLED CHIP BABY I REPEAT

It's absolutely going in Carmen's top five favourite expressions of yours. - 🕊️🕊️🕊️

“Syd said she will be knocking violently if I’m not back at midnight on the dot, yeah.” - SQUID GIVING HER GF A CURFEW

THE BERF SHIRT

“God, it’s over—” - squidink is so over rn😔

“Baby, just say you’re happy for me.” - BABY. THEYRE SO BACK

squid can stab men, a little, as a treat

You hand her your water bottle when you spot her looking at it. - 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

her instinct is to call chip, oh OH oh

“I didn’t ask you to be great.” Syd says it before she thinks it, and it’s enough to make your eyes water - MINE ARE RUNNING TOO ACTUALLY

God you’re dehydrated - *careless whisper plays* i mean what I SAID NOTHING

squid out🦑🦑

“It’s so crazy that you think that’s gonna happen—” - I LOVEEE SHEEE

Your shoulders touch as you both stare at the ceiling. - CUTIES

She hums, pointing to the popcorn tiles - namedrop! jk…unless?

“Oh my fucking God it’s that bad—”- GET THEIR ASSES SQUID

In front of everyone, accidentally while saying goodbye, off-handedly while hanging up, over text, and so on and so forth. - all of those are cute actually

“Now it’s three.” “Fuck, it’s gaining interest?!” - WE’RE SO BACK!!!!

“Wait, what the fuck, Syd, say it back!” - REAL!!

this was so cute!! just them and their adventures

LETS. GET. ROLLLINNGGGG!!!! (papers!!!) (we both can do drug jokes in this house!!!) (there will be a wip under all this as a treat I promise)

I’m honestly shocked Charmin isn’t a canon nickname (yet!!), cause like. IT DOES SOUND LIKE CARMEN!!! AND THE TOILET PAPER BEARS!!! AND THE TOILET PAPER BEARS ARE BLUE NOW TOO!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!

You are frfr an oracle with your memes, occasionally I look at em like hmmmmm,,,, this is gonnna be a lot funnier after the next one. My comedic Nostradamus genius. (the secrets of the universe ARE in the popcorn ceiling!! U!!)

The benefit about writing about food for people who did not come for food is that I also don’t have to fully understand what I’m saying. Had to look at a wagyu chart and make a lot of assumptions. I am not going to make steak with pop rocks to find out if it’s any good.

OKAY WHAT THE FUCK I S RICHIE’S JOB I’M BEING SO FR I DO NOT !!! Carmen’s Exec, Syd’s CDC/Head, Richie is… HR/Co-Manager/Host??? No wonder he can afford fuckin eras tour tickets bro is getting THREE DIFFERENT PAYCHECKS WHAT!!! But this does make sense. Bro IS THEE Human Resource.

Had to look up photos of sheep cats. Yeah that’s him. That’s Carmen but a Cat for sure.

RAHH. The held back I love yous are very. Very rah. Theres a lot of thought behind them for me but I shant share because I feel like that may give too much away I fear?

Carmichael burrowski is brought to you by seeing Carmichael company vans a lot and Mae Burrowski from Night in the Woods. Thank u both for ur service.

I completely forgot about the ‘that’s fucked’ convo with Fak until I saw a gifset and went OH YEAH…. It IS fucked. They are so stupid. They are also both unable to say I love you because that would be WEIRD!!!!!!!

I am so happy with the incredibly funny smooch because it was very much to mimic Carmen’s —

I think funny kisses are the way to go. There is something very charming (CHARMIN!) to me about awkwardly expressed consent.

YOU DIDN’T PUT THE RATATOULLIE MEME IN THIS ONE FOR THE PUBLIC TO ENJOY AND FOR THAT!!! YOU’VE DEPRIVED OUR PEOPLE!! i knew if I was gonna make him watch ratatouille and have him relate, he’d have to relate to more than just remy.

I’ll call them and let them know you love them, promise. Whenever they get out of the bathroom.

Carmen 30-Year Old Virgin Berzatto— Or 28-29, time line is UNCLEAR!! Regardless, I couldn’t take away my man’s one W. He fumbles most people, I had to let him have the one he canonically got. And also it was too fun to consider him absolutely STEWING as Tony recounts her emotional relationship with Mikey, just thinking in the background “I need to tell her I am in fact. NOT . a virgin!” I hate this man.

I WANT YOU IN EVERY SENTENCEEE RRAAAWHWHWHEHE!!! Loved that. Loved writing that paragraph. Love love. Love wanting to have someone so intrinsically in your life that in order for someone to know you they have to know them. WOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Carmen give her a hickey before we have to confront the emotional implications, GET HER BOY!!

Well how much did you bet on syd being there because now I owe you

CHIPS GOT TWO HANDS FOR A REASON BABY!!! I’m kidding the triangle would never work. But they should try anyways.

Whole Richie scene makes me :)) it’s fun to navigate these two going through like, so many internal emotions obviously over Chip’s trauma dump, and deciding what Richie would actually take a moment to comment on. And I think it absolutely has to be the ‘imagine your friends are dead’, bro 100% HAD TO BE HELD BACK FROM RAMMING THE DOOR DOWN TRULY TRULY. Don’t imagine I’m fuckin dead cousin!!!!!! I’m not a fuckin ghost!!! Call me!!!!!!!!! I am literally your guy!!!!!

Watching season 3 and seeing half of the season unnecessarily focusing on a Handyman (Ted) really had me clutching my pearls like. Bro. where’s my baby. Who the fuck does this guy think he is. This is CHIP TURF!!

BIG SHOUT OUT TO SYDNEY ‘THE SQUID’ ‘SEXUALLY NORMAL’ ADAMU!~

Donna!! Donna!! Finally semi-time that I have to face my white whale of writing,,, da mom… I’m still mentally tackling how to write her, but we’ll get there when we get there…. (truly thought she was gonna fucking die this season I didn’t think I was gonna have to DEAL WITH IT!!)

Everyone simultaneously did a record scratch at ‘do you want to come up to my room’ and I think that’s beautiful. I think that’s everything I wanted and more. They can hang bro. and watch ratatouille. Like hang out and be normal and fantasize about easily removable aprons with monogramming done.

Carmen is a certified shoe in his mouth yapper. Sugar, hand the crown to your brother, you may step off your throne; because this fucker has gotten caught like three separate times simply by being himself.

VERY DWIGHT Very like, sibling texting ‘fuck you I hate you what do you want from mcdonalds im omw home’. That’s the Richip dynamic to me. And then they kill carm.

Chip baby!!! This is not a drill he finally called her a pet name!! men, to your stations! And she didn’t even have the brain to COMPUTE IT, alas.

The post squid scene was so tough I was like, ‘do I cut this and just end on carmen?’ but then I knew, I’d never write this scene, cause spoiler alert, we’re doing a very slight time skip. So like. I just wanted Squidink to have their actual last beat to their sad no contact era because!!! So many feelings to be had over not contacting your boy in forever!!! But god its so OVER!

‘Didn’t ask you to be great’ is SUCH a punch to the gut, esp for a people pleaser like Chip (or me, man). Like. Fuckin. GOD. It’s the same sentiment Richie had in Just Dropped with ‘I’d love you even if you weren’t useful’, but like, this side of it is pre-useful. Like. Not only would I love you if you weren’t useful, I would never ASK you to be useful. HELL.

All of those I love yous are cute you say? Well I will have to up my game in coming up with something truly mortifying, then.

Shout out to me, directing on set, and demanding that my crew says it back when I say I love you. Genuinely my ‘Heard’ is a reciprocated ‘I love you’. No one call Richie/HR.

also the memes. immaculate as always. AND THE AUTHOR/CHIP COMPARISON,,, ART IMITATES LIFE, what can i say? if carmen/chip manage to live together at a point i really can't imagine him denying anything she wants. i think he would only have opinions on the kitchen and maybe efficiency of moving through spaces. (WE NEED TO PUSH THE COFFEE TABLE BACK!!! SIDLING AGAINST IT TO GET TO THE COUCH IS CAUSING A 3.4 SECOND DELAY IN MOVIE TIME!!!!) psycho.

Anyways. As always, a pweasure to hear your thoughts. I am hoping next weekend will finally be the fucking weekend I put something out. It’s hard slugging through this next chapter because it’s basically our so much fucking dialogue chapter, and navigating action and meaning AROUND that has been a nightmare. I think I’m probably over thinking the fuck out of it, to be fair. I feel so bad making y’all wait, so here is a juicer snippet.

THANK YOU LOVE YOU APPRECIATE ALL UR PATIENCE AND ALL UR THOUGHTS I LOVE TO HEAR FROM YALL!!

[strang3lov3]

Bug, I have to tell you - i'm only a few episodes into s3 of the Bear, but I love Faks so much. I liked him before. But he's just so special. The thing with the broth 😭. He's so precious. Anyway, you were ahead of the curve on him and I wanted to commend you on your taste. I remember you like Matty Matheson as a chef, too. Do you have recs for what else to watch of him?

THE MIREPOIX BROTH OF CHEF CARMEN’S MIND!!! I dieddddd and also the part where Richie and Carmy were like “you get fucked” “no, you get fucked my good man” “after you, you get fucked” killed me

But I haven’t watched a whole lot of season 3 because I’ve kind of been watching all seasons at once and got confused. First I wanted to rewatch, then fiance joined in and we restarted, then we convinced fiancé’s brother and his wife to watch it with us so that’s restarting a third time. I told them that I’d be cheating on them and watching season 3 on my own but then everything got confusing 😭 Fak is such a treasure and I will forever love him and his brother’s Christmas outfits purchased with Kohl’s Cash. Classic. And I wonder how that baseball card business is working out for them.

But to answer your question, I’ve loved Matty Matheson for a while! My first introduction to him was this video from almost 5 years ago:

Bon Appétit has aged poorly since this came out, but I really love Brad Leone and I think he and Matty are so much fun together.

He doesn’t have much to watch TV wise because I believe he kinda stumbled into acting as Fak but This is his YouTube channel and he has a bunch of cooking shows all worth watching. I like his humor, his sense of style, especially his tattoos ❤️ I don’t remember what it was, but once he was making a sauce or something and he said “it’s all coming together, like a loving couple” and I fell in love right then and there. Also, his speech at the Emmy’s is so special to me - his greasy hair, the way Ebon kissed him. We need more Emmy’s speeches like that. But his YouTube channel is excellent and he has some really creative recipes.

I also enjoy watching interviews with him. I think he’s pretty down to earth. I really enjoy his episode on Hot Ones, but nothing will top Conan on hot ones for me. I love that man.

This was such a special ask 🩷 I love you Tox

[carmenberzattosgf]

WHY IS FAK TWLLING CLAIRE THAT CARM IS IN LOVE WOTH HER

*unpopular opinion alert*

Tbh I think Carmy is 🚶‍♀️don’t get me wrong here I don’t love Claire bc I think her character is just kinda messy? Like girl you’ve known him since he was a kid you should be well aware how emotionally stunted he is 😭 it really annoyed me how much she took him away from the restaurant in season two even though she knew he needed to be there! Like he owns the place!

While Carmy was an idiot when he said what he did in the freezer, it was all true. It would have been a lot healthier if he idk… said his feelings about juggling the relationship and the restaurant to Claire like weeks beforehand, but he didn’t. Probably because he didn’t realize how much the relationship was affecting him until he literally got locked in a freezer because he got distracted by a text from Claire instead of calling the fridge guy. I love Carmy so much but he can be a little brat sometimes and only spoke his feelings when he had to deal with the consequences of his own actions.

I think Carmy really does like her, maybe even loves her! But he chose the restaurant over her in that moment because he knew he couldn’t be the best if he was distracted by a relationship that would drain him as much as Claire. Fak is getting involved bc he wants carmy to be able to have both her and the restaurant, but fak doesn’t get it.

TLDR: Carmy is lowkey emotionally immature and doesn’t know how to express feelings and juggle his life with the restaurant. Fak is meddling like fak does 💀

[justcallmesakira]

JAW DROPPED NOT EVE KIDDING JAW DROPPED WHAT. DA FAK🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

@chuuyrr is this some april fools prank😭