#😭😭😭 my soul is actually crying

[jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue]

Just me fangirling every day since you decided to answer my message thinking on the fact that my wirter crush answered me! 😭 Blue! How many times I tought about the fact that I would love to have a book written by you on my hands to keep and cherish forever while I was on my way to read all you have shared! 💜 An now that I've read the lattest chapter of OLL 🥴 I'm done! I will religiously follow you to see and enjoy what you have to tell us trough your stories!

You ask me to tell you which is my fav story so far, but it's nearly impossible! Instead may I say WHY I love each one? Let me tell you that the first story I read was The CEO BTS one, and to say that I was speachless is little compared to what I really felt! I forgot about time and got lost and carried away by your style of writing! I was (still am) so enamoured of the fact that you write Bangtan so well! I can perfectly picture everyone doing what you say on every scene. For example, I remember the scene when MC was locked away on the archive room and everyone was trying to coax her open the door asking what happened but Hobi was the one who went to actually investigate what happened going to see on the security cameras, I nearly yelled: OF COURSE IT WAS MY MAN! That's so hecking OC of him! 😫 Think there was the point when you bewitched me 😂 I'm OT7 but Hobi is my forever bias ❤️ Rhen when I started reading OLL and got to the point when we saw Hobi's sadistic side 👁️👄👁️... Well, I've never before harboured thoughts of him doing that kind of stuff but it was so perfect that it just makes total sense with his personality 😂

And then I got to read Bleeding butterflies 😭 and I have zero regrets of not sleeping those days because I was so hooked on the world you created! The way you describe every member with them powers that fits so well! The way you included that awesome scenes with Taetae speaking to Erebos, Nyx and the other gods! The scene with the fairies emerging from the woods 😍 Blue you have my eternal gratitude for letting me experience that universe along my seven boyfriends 😭

I hope this long long letter doesn't botter you 🥹 but I have a ton of compliments to write, because as I previosly told you, I've been on a rollercoastee of emotions reading your works ❤️ The last story I read was Harbouring an hybrid 😭 and I'm so worried for Jiminshi that it brakes my heart to pieces! Altought I still harbour some hope 😭

Big thank you for answering my message and hope you know how amazing and how talented you are! 🫣 Sorry! Much text... By now you must know how passionately I express myself 😂 I left much toughts unsaid! Like how I adored The royal bodiguards AU 💜 and every What if story 😍 specially the Hybrids! Because You take care of details and explain every hecking fact too well it blows my mind!

Okok love u and goodnight!

😭😭😭 do you know how many times I’ve reread this 🥺🥺🥺 I actually want to bawl my eyes out this was everything 💜💜💜 you can have whatever the hell you want from me lovely, whatever update chapter new fic idea spoilers etc etc whatever you want it’s yours I don’t even care anymore that was everything 🥹🥹🥹

My universes are so close to my heart so when someone appreciates them like this I just get so soft 😭

I am keeping you forever and ever and ever don’t even THINK about leaving me I will riot and go on hiatus until you come back 🥺 …..no pressure 🤣🤣

I’ve actually reread harbouring a hybrid because I need to update it it’s been too long and I forgot how sad I made it 👀 even I was like what the hell

Please take my heart and all my love 💜

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Well, at least Fukuzawa got his wish granted, I guess.... he's finally inside Fukuchi <3

[milksnake-tea]

sometimes i think about the way sunday is 100% fine with doing fucked up things as long as he thinks the people he’s doing those things to deserve them

[s3v3r3dh3ad]

I WAS LOOKING THROUGH A BUNCH OF OLD PUNCH OUT BLOGS EARLIER AND I FOUND THIS AND ISTG I ACTUALLY SHRIEKED IN JOY BECAUSE I JUST REWATCHED ROBOCOP A FEW DAYS AGO AND SEEING THAT MADE ME SO HAPPY AND I HAD TO SCRIBBLE SOMETHING REAL QUICK 🛐

Also bonus sketch because I'm trying to figure out how to draw Von Kaiser bc he's literally my favorite character but I cannot fucking draw him FOR THE LIFE OF ME I SWEAR IT'S HIS FUCKING 90S TEEN BOY MIDDLE PART THAT FUCKS ME UP EVERY TIME 💀😭 I love him though so I'm gonna keep trying and maybe one day I'll do his fine ass justice 🙏

[giddlygoat]

my brother can make me laugh without moving at all. he can make me laugh on command, just by existing, and there is no physical tell or indication that it is about to happen. it’s like he can will me to laugh and i will. of course we’re not telepathic, but we do speak in unison sometimes. we improvise like no one’s business. we could fool anyone into believing we are psychically linked. when i try to explain it, i sound silly saying it out loud, but i really CAN tell what he’s thinking. we exchange so much information just with a look. he can make me cry laughing and he doesn’t even have to move

[akkivee]

*rattles my cage* WHAT DID SHAKKU SAY????????? WHAT DID HE SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY?????????????

[priestfrommidnightmass]

peter maldonado most important character of all time to me as a hispanic boy who gets overly fixated and does not play when it comes to the things he cares abt and would literally rather strain and destroy his relationships than be proved wrong

[louismygf]

girls when they just finished watching aotv

[eldrichfuck666]

I'm pretty sure I wasn't tagged, so I just saw it on my dash and like- OKAY I'LL DO THIS THING!! Lmao BUT the way it didn't write Will Wood's songs full titles 😭😭 IT'S SO FUNNY HELP I'M DYING also WHERE is Electroforez - Зло??? WHY IS THIS SO RANDOM SKKSKSS I'M DYING I need to stop listening to same songs on loop for a MONTHS HELP. It's almost all Will Wood...

Also what is new jersey indie?? Is this a thing??? 😭

And, I'm tagging anyone who wants to do this thingy ;') consider yourself tagged by me and also, if you want, you can tag me!

[smilesrobotlover]

Oh no this whumptober day is making me cry

[devotion-disorder]

it ok yall i caved and bought the game moments after i made my last post and im living out my blissful love life now

this screenshot out of context is taking me out lol hes like you are.🫵 dumbass?😄 you🫵 illiterate🫵😄

Ive got through most of the game and boy i have some THOUGHTS... spoilers under the cut!!

I didn't expect to like the game so much cause im not actually that much of a horror fan (<- squeamish) , and like i said in the last post I wasn't sure how fun a game all about decrypting the dialogue will be (<- dumbass). But in the end I think the game mechanics is exactly the source of all the charm!! And come to think of it, it's a very unique mechanic too. The word-guessing makes the game exciting and scary (and sometimes is the key to avoiding certain death), but there's also just something about overcoming "broken" language to express your thoughts that is inherently really sweet to me. Maybe this is a wild comparison but its like that greentext thats like "bad times friend ahead...i go away but we are two of soul, i will return".

The game is also just pretty player-friendly, and the characters are all (well, mostly) really chill, so it wasnt very hard to guess most of the words too. But i will say that sometimes, you can kind of tell the nuance of the language-translation makes more sense as Japanese, so maybe that gave me a slight edge.

After playing the demo I thought this would be a really short game (like around 2-3 hrs), but I clocked in a solid 6 hours today LOL...and im still missing a few endings. Big spoiler but when MC "kills" Mr. crawling it genuinely upset me like GIRL WHAT IN THE FRESH HELL..........😭😭😭 but thank god he was fine :DD the scene where he shut himself in a closet crying because he thought the MC abandoned him 😭😭😭😭 IM SORRYYY but also like omg...😭😭😭😭 he ouppy............😭😭😭😭

ouppy 🥹🥹🥹🥹🫳🫳🫳🫳🫳👐👐👐👐😭😭😭😭😭😭

But in contrast to those heavy moments there are also points where i think the game doesn't take itself very seriously LOL so by like 3 hours in it just kind of became a really chill game :)) I love how the MC is just so ridiculously forward being like "Do you have a crush on me or something 🥺👉👈" and most of them were just like "whats that lmfao"

[christmasevelouis]

DAY TILL I SEE LOUISSSSSSSS AAAHHHH

[sharlsworld]

⋆⭒˚.⋆ i go lower - ʟɴ4 ☆

✿ lando norris x influencer reader + ex bf charles & ex best friend alexandra

✿ charles leclerc just keeps proving how much of a red flag he is

ᵃᵘᵗʰᵒʳˢ ⁿᵒᵗᵉ ୨୧ this is actually bad, i kept losing motivation so i just wanted to end it i’m so sorry

🝮

🝮

two days after the monaco gp

f1wags

liked by landonorris and 29,617 others

f1wags charles with a mystery girl in monaco last night! trouble in paradise?

lordperceval that ain’t no mystery girl 😭

sharls_lerklerk thats alexandra saint mleux she’s y/n’s ex best friend

⤷ lady.georgerussell why’d they stop being friends?

⤷ sharls_lerklerk she got with her ex boyfriend before charles 😭

⤷ lady.georgerussell63 SHUT UP 😭

estiebestie charles red flag leclerc back at it again

ethereal.yn bop

tripod.gasly bro invented homie hopping

all4lando why is no one gonna talk about lando liking this post?

sharls.eclair bro got p1 his home race and don’t know how to act anymore 💀

♥︎ by landonorris

dannyric.canlickle LANDO??!

🝮

ihateyn removed charles_leclerc and ynsbiggestfan as a follower

ihateyn unfollowed charles_leclerc and ynsbiggestfan

ihateyn

liked by lewishamilton and 92 others

ihateyn what the fuck i just woke up from my nap to my boyfriend out on a date with my ex best friend???

oscarpiastri I hate whores

francisca.cgomes i will cut his brakes

georgerussell63 Please dont cry queen I’ll run him off the track don’t worry

landonorris stand up

⤷ ihateyn i’m up

carlossainz55 Just say the word and I’ll make sure he’s never able to drive ever again I have nothing left to lose

lilymhe don’t be a little bitch

⤷ ihateyn you right you right

maxverstappen1 I’ll cut his dick off

sabrinacarpenter girl just tell me what to say and i’ll sing it for you dw

🝮

yn

liked by charlottesiine and 1,912,542 others

yn all in my lonesome

francisca.cgomes he who shall not be named better sleep with one eye open

lorenzotl Je t'aime petite soeur ❤️

⤷ yn i love you too enzo 🤍

⤷ sharlsworld “i love you little sister”

lilymhe once i get my hands on him it’s over for him

lewishamilton Chin up girl, You’ll be alright. sending all my love ♥️

⤷ roscoelovescoco yes’s we love’s you’s!

⤷ yn i love you two 🥹🥹♥️

arthur_leclerc i love you forever sista, my day 1 😇😇

⤷ yn my partner in crime always 🤞🏽

joris__trouche Been quiet since you left

⤷ yn come over whenever you want, you’re always welcome joris 🫶🏽

⤷ sharls_leclercussy gasping for air rn

chillinlikechili charlotte liked??

leclerc_pascale Ne sois pas triste, le soleil brillera à nouveau. Je t'aime pour toujours, viens bientôt tu me manques ♥️🥰

⤷ yn je serai bientôt fini maman je t'aime

⤷ sharlsworld pascale said “don’t be sad, the sun will shine again. i love you forever, come over soon i miss you” y/n said “i’ll be over soon mom i love you”

charleslovesyn ok but joris’ comment? my soul is weeping right now

🝮

yn

liked by danielricciardo and 3,082,561 others

yn 💌💐🎀🪩

landonorris who’s that handsome lad in the last slide? 😍

⤷ yn some bum i picked up on the side of the road

⤷ landonorris he looks absolutely yummy is he single 😈

⤷ yn get outta my comment section

leclerc_pascale Ma jolie fille! Tu me manques, douce fille 🤍🤍🤍

⤷ yn tu me manques aussi maman 💗

⤷ sharlsworld pascale said “my beautiful daughter! i miss you sweet girl” y/n said “i miss you too mom”

⤷ lovely_leclerc she’s literally the daughter she never had i’m sobbing 😭

alex_albon return him this instant

⤷ yn nahhhh

georgerussell63 Hmm interesting…

⤷ carmenmmundt Very interesting

landonorizz HELLLURRR WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE LAST SLIDE??

iactuallyhateyn moving on already?

⤷ yn can i not have guy friends?

lilymhe healing era rn revenge era coming soon trust guys 🥰

⤷ yn 😉

charlesismyman69 home hopping is crazy poor charles i hope he’s ok

⤷ landonorris yeah poor charles i wonder how he’s feeling after cheating on his girlfriend of 4 years with her ex best friend

⤷ oscarpiastri clocked him 🤣🤣

🝮

charles_leclerc

liked by arthur_leclerc and 682,143 others

charles_leclerc Yawn

alexandrasaintmleux 😍😍😍

⤷ forzacharles GIRL

oscarpiastri get out my face bro 💀💀 this is so embarrassing and bad for your image how do you sleep at night

⤷ charles_leclerc very good beside the love of my life. now run along with your master you little lap dog

⤷ oscarpiastri cmon we all know you wish you were still her little lap dog 😂 and is she really the love of your life or the only girl around with no self respect??

⤷ mclaren Oscar please don’t make us take your social media away

landonorris oh that not-

maxverstappen1 Brotha eughh

lilymhe downfall era 💀🔥

⤷ hoeforsainzzz lily muni he & oscar piastri y/n defenders & charles haters: confirmed

♥︎ by lilymhe and oscarpiastri

estiebestie actually his downfall era though

lady.georgerussell erm what the sigma

carlando this should’ve stayed in the drafts

alex_albon this…not fye.

comments have been disabled

🝮

yn

liked by schecoperez and 5,592,781 others

yn life lately 🍉

leclerc_pascale My girl!! You’re like a breath of fresh air for my soul 🤍🤍

⤷ yn you always light up my day maman 🤍

♥︎ by leclerc_pascale

arthur_leclerc i totally won the diving contest idc what everyone else says

⤷ lorenzotl No I definitely did

⤷ yn you two basically belly flopped i won

scuderiaferrari We miss our girl! ❤️

♥︎ by author

charlottesiine cutie pie 😉😘🥰😍

⤷ yn your the reason why 🙂‍↔️

♥︎ by charlottesiine

landonorris fucked that pasta up

⤷ yn no sauce was detected on that plate after lunch

francisca.cgomes living for this

georgerussell63 I fear you won

⤷ yn 🥇🥇

forzacharles SCREAMING RIGHT NOW WHAT IS GOING ON

estiebestie pascale? arthur? lorenzo? charlotte? i’m deceased

carlossainzappendix she’s winning in life

🝮

yn

liked by danielricciardo and 11,017,535 others

yn worth the wait

landonorris i’d wait a million years for you

⤷ yn you’re to sweet to me

lilymhe this is the revenge era

maxverstappen1 That’s my favorite couple

francisca.cgomes WOOOOOO

leclerc_pascale My daughter deserves all the good in life 🥰 I love you my girl ❤️

⤷ yn i love you maman 💗

arthur_leclerc ❤️❤️

oscarpiastri Now I gotta deal with all the lovely dovey stuff

⤷ yn don’t act like your not happy about this

lewishamilton What did I say? Everything would be alright ❤️

⤷ yn so wise

lorenzotl My little star, you deserve all the love in the world 🌟💛

⤷ yn don’t make me cry enzo

joris__trouche 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

charlottesiine so happy for you pretty 💘

♥︎ by author

🝮

landonorris

liked by maxfewtrell and 8,719,932 others

landonorris i’ll find you in every lifetime

yn nothing can keep us apart

⤷ landonorris nothing at all

francisca.cgomes are we surprised? no

danielricciardo Tone down the pda in the paddock plz 🙏🏽

⤷ landonorris nah fam

carmenmmundt Awhh so happy for you two

⤷ yn marry me carmen

⤷ carmenmmundt I’ll meet you at the altar

⤷ landonorris i just got her and your already taking her away from me 💔

pierregasly Hittin the clubs tonight

lilymhe shoutout to those un loyal bitches!!

alex_albon george owes me 200 bucks

⤷ georgerussell63 Whatever

⤷ yn uh what

⤷ alex_albon i said his post would be more sappy then yours

⤷ landonorris i hate you both

[nectardaddy]

everyone needs to read this right mf now! PLEASE!

try again

part 0.4. NEXT TIME

"the playground seemed so big when they were younger. and now they’re here again, 10 years later, and it looks small. their world is bigger than just this playset now. the metal that forms the foundation of the structure is still a shiny, vibrant red, but the cracked, faded plastic shows its age. where has time gone? 'who are you now?' she wants to ask. as a kid, time goes by slowly, and you tell your parents you can’t wait to grow old. they tell you to enjoy your childhood, but you never believe them. and even now, she’s not sure she does. she's not old, but old enough to know time goes by fast. since their meeting in her office, she’s reflected more on how she’s grown up. she doesn’t miss her childhood– she likes the freedom that has come with adulthood, but at the same time, it’s slowly weighing her down. she’s old enough, that she can no longer spend her summers relaxed in a quiet house, laying in bed all day with the door open while both her parents are at work. she can't spend the nights stretched out on her back, against wet, dewy grass, looking at the stars with him while staining her favorite shirt. now she has responsibilities to take care of every day, and any little mistake can no longer be taken back. she’s an adult now, and no one is there to pick her up when she falls."

content warnings + notes: calling atsumu a little cupid whore (/lh), drinking, y/n is having a crisis, pay attention to unsent messages :) very long written part... oops </3

she downs the last of her glass in one go. 

it’s cheap whiskey, and she hates the taste. it’s probably the worst she’s ever had, but the burn down her throat is a little pleasant. 

completely going against her plan to drink something light, she decided she would need some liquid courage if she was going to do this. her hands are splayed across the cold bar counter as she stands from her chair, mind buzzing a little as she grounds herself. 

akaashi doesn’t notice her absence in his drunken state, but iwaizumi does. kita looks up as well, but remains seated, keeping akaashi company after nodding to iwaizumi who stands up.

“where are you going?” he asks following her out of the bar, pushing past a few groups of people in their way. he's not asking it like he's accusing her of anything, he just sounds concerned.

but he doesn’t need to worry, and she faces him as they make it out. “going to see omi,” she practically sings the answer, her voice careless as the nickname spills out of her mouth before she even realizes it. it comes too naturally to her, and the thought ruins the nice numbness in her veins from the alcohol. instead, she starts to feel the guilt build up again.

iwaizumi still stands in front of her, arms crossed, matching her own stance. “you’re going to see sakusa?” he repeats, brows raised.

“mhm,” she hums, shifting from one foot to the other. her shoes are starting to bother her, too. she'll probably take them off as soon as iwaizumi lets her go.

“where?”

she sighs, starting to feel restless just standing there. the warm lights and ruckus from inside the bar invite her back in, and so does the pull she feels in the opposite direction down the street, where she'll see him. “an old park, can i go?”

“no, hold on,” he stops her before she can even take a step, “you’re going to go meet a man you haven’t talked to in years after a single interaction at a park this late at night?”

“yes?” she quirks a brow at him, “it’s an old park we used to go to a lot. it’s not far from here and i know him. i’ll be okay.”

“i’m not saying sakusa’s going to do anything to you, but i’m not letting you walk there alone. especially when you’ve been drinking. let me make sure you get there safely and then i’ll leave you, deal?” he proposes, and she sees how much he cares in his eyes. they’re a pretty olive green and despite how sharp they are, there’s so much love in them. it reminds her of her own eyes, and how she feels when she looks at sakusa; her head starts to panic in alarm and get defensive, but at the same time, her heart slows down, as if telling her he's safe.

she knows iwaizumi makes a good point, and there’s nothing wrong with having a little extra safety, or a human purse. “fine,” she sighs, “but only if you hold my shoes.”

their walk to the park is silent, but it’s a peaceful silence. she’s walking next to him barefoot, feeling even shorter than before. he questions her a few times, to make sure she actually knows where she’s going, and she insists that she does. she’s had a little bit to drink, yes, but she’s not drunk. and she's confident she could still find her way to this park blindfolded. she’s walked these sidewalks hundreds of times, ran to this park from every direction and route possible. it was always their spot, whether they lay in the wet grass or sat on the playset. the memories of being with him back then make her feel a little grim, and iwaizumi looks down at her, noticing.

“you okay?” he asks, nudging her shoulder closest to him with his arm.

“yeah,” she sighs, watching the way her shoes clank against each other in his hand with every step they take.

“what’re you thinking?” he asks, still looking down at her and she looks back up at him.

“i just don’t know what i’m doing,” she says, trying to voice her feelings while she turns to stare back ahead of them. “what are we gonna do? what does he like doing now? what if i’ve changed and he doesn’t like who i am anymore? i'm so scared of disappointing him.”

“you’re good enough as you are, y/n,” he silences her and she glances back at him in surprise. “don’t let a man change how you see yourself. you’re good as you are, and if he doesn’t think so, he can fuck off. there's no such thing as an expectation or a right way for you to act. he’s probably changed too, and that’s just how people work. did he text you or did you text him?”

she gives him a smile at his words, nudging him back with her shoulder as a way of thanking him, “he texted me.”

he gives her a grin at that, “he texted you? asking to see you?” when she nods he continues, "damn that's ballsy. he really wants you, y/n. and i hope he's a good person. i’ve seen him around and worked a little bit with him, he seems alright.”  

she flusters a little bit at his words, “i’m sure it’s not like that. we just used to be very good friends, you know that. i’ve never stopped missing him, maybe he felt a little bit of the same way.”

he nods at her words, giving a hum in thought. they’re walking along the fence that’s been set up around the park, and she can see the entrance coming up, where a lone lamp post is lighting the way. “but you want him, don’t you?”

she knows he’s asking it in a romantic sense, and she does. she knows what she feels for him is more than just friendly, and she’s felt stupid for never being able to fall in love with anyone else because she’s been stuck on him this entire time. “i’m happy with anything,” she decides to say, “if we start hanging out again, that’s enough for me. i just want him to be a part of my life.”

they stop at the park entrance, and she can see the playset from here, just a bit down the path. “do you want me to walk you there? or are you’re fine from here? i think the walk helped you sober up a little bit, so i feel better about leaving you here now. just make sure you text me if you feel even slightly off, got it?”

“got it!” she responds with a smile, giving him a small salute as a joke. “thank you for walking me here, iwa. i'll be fine on my own now and i’ll text you when i'm walking home.”

he rolls his eyes at the salute but gives her a smile, “sounds good. i’ll check in with you then as well. i might come meet you halfway or who knows, maybe your guy will want to walk you home?”

he’s giving her another shitty grin that she’d like to slap off his face, and it’s her turn to roll her eyes, “whatever, iwa. see you in a little bit.”

she pulls him into a hug, trying to tell him all her feelings at once, thanking him for his advice and for walking her here, and he’s quick to reciprocate it, rubbing her back for a second before they pull away. he gives her her shoes and waves her off, making sure she steps onto the playground before he leaves, and she sees him.

tonight, it seems they’ll be sitting on the top of the playset, above a tube that connects one platform to another. she steps up onto one of the platforms first, dropping her shoes on it before clambering on top of the structure.

he offers her a hand after watching her (probably ungraceful) climb which she hesitates to take for a second. her heart feels like it's trying to escape her chest as she takes it, the contact sending chills along her skin.

“hi,” she whispers after she's sat down, stealing a glance at him, unsure of where to start.

“hi,” he says back, already looking at her. he looks better than when she saw him last, but perhaps that's just because today has been better for him. there are still bags under his eyes that she can see despite the lack of light around them, but she can also see that his eyes look brighter today. she wants to mention it, say she’s glad to see that he looks like he's doing well today, but she shouldn’t. it’s too early–

“you look good today.”

the words spill out of her mouth and she immediately slaps a hand over it. she had drank more after texting him purposefully, knowing that it would mess with her ability to reason and this was the consequence, although she wasn't sure yet if it was a positive or negative one.

he laughs in response, giving her a small smile that she hasn’t seen in years. she missed seeing it; she missed him.

“thank you,” he says, holding her gaze and she’s unable to look away, “you look good too. although maybe a little drunk.”

her cheeks are burning red and she feels hot despite the fact that she was practically shivering the entire way here, latching onto iwaizumi and his body heat. “no i– well– yes, i have been drinking but i didn’t mean it that way– i mean you do look good–” she has to take a deep breath, trying to calm herself down, “i meant you look happier today, sorry.”

he’s still looking at her, smiling. and maybe it’s a tiny bit bigger than it was before, and she smiles back.

she has no idea it’s because of her–that he seems happier today. he’s only just found her again after so many years apart, and yet he’s glad she’s in his life again. this is only the second time they’ve seen each other after so long, and she’s already had this big of an impact on him. and maybe it was due to atsumu’s influence, and the way that he kept bringing her up, and how it had been their entire conversation over dinner, but he didn’t really care. he was happy to be talking about her again, and to see her again. they had been so close, and it felt strangely nostalgic whenever he saw her, as if he was a child again, tossing and turning on a bed stand, sick to his stomach for home.

but he had been homesick for her this entire time, and he didn’t want to talk about her as if their time together had passed; he wanted to be close to her again. but only if she let him: “that guy you came here with, are you guys–”

“oh, no no no,” she immediately cuts him off, shaking her head before he gets the wrong idea. “he’s just a friend. my roommates and i went out to dinner today and then we went drinking. he just didn’t want me to walk here alone.”

he nods, feeling strangely relieved to hear that. “i just came from eating out with my roommates, too. i cut it short because one of them was being annoying.”

she hums in thought, a smile breaking out on her face, “hm, that can’t possibly be atsumu, can it?”

he can’t even joke back, just rolls his eyes with a sigh at the mention of his friend.

“i just texted him earlier tonight. finally scolded him for setting up that entire meeting between us. i mean– who even thinks to do something like that?”

“just him. he’s got one brain cell working for him and it’s got a funny way of working,” sakusa responds, looking forward to the field in front of them. they used to spin around on that field, trying to stay standing the longest before they both fell onto wet grass, too dizzy to keep standing. “i think it worked out nice, but there were definitely other ways he could have planned that out.”

she can’t help but look at him, slightly surprised. so he was happy to see her? perhaps she should’ve understood that by now; here they were sitting side by side on an old playset. “yeah, it did,” she can’t help but say, not even thinking twice about agreeing with him. “and if you don’t mind me bringing it up, do you think you will come back for a second meeting? i was just wondering.”

“yeah, i’m thinking about it,” he answers, still not looking at her, and she thinks maybe she shouldn’t have asked the question. she’s brought the topic of conversation back to her job, and reminded herself of everything she shouldn’t be doing right now. she shouldn’t be doing any of this. she’s looking forward to seeing him in her office again, but she shouldn’t. she should be treating him as a client, not as an old face or a silly old crush. and she shouldn’t be seeing him outside of the office; it ruins that professional relationship she should be trying to maintain. she's giving into him too easily, even after he had been the one to accuse her of something hurtful upon their first words to each other in years.

a particularly cold wind blows through and she shivers, breathing in sharply as her shoulders raise towards her ears on instinct, trying to protect them from the cold. in her defense, she hadn't foreseen sitting on a playset in the middle of the night today and had not dressed accordingly.

“are you cold?” he asks, hand already reaching towards the open black jacket he was wearing, a plain white shirt underneath.

she’s looking at him, face completely blank. her mind is so far gone, thinking about countless other things, including every single way this interaction could go. ‘what was she even doing here? why did she agree to come?’ the moment he texted her she put up little to no resistance. she lasted one text, trying to set up a boundary between them to prevent herself from getting hurt and then completely dropped it. how could he be so casual about seeing her again? was their friendship something shallow to him? something he could easily replace or come back to?

he’s saying her name, and her mind returns to the boy in front of her, blinking twice before responding, “sorry. i was just thinking about something. i’m fine. you don’t need to give me your jacket or anything.”

“but if i want to?” he asks and this is where she failed last time, and will fail again, and will always fail, because she can never resist him.

“i–”

the jacket is already around her shoulders before she knows it. it’s warm, and the weight of it on top of her shoulders is comforting. the smell of him is enveloping all of her senses and her entire mind, and she squeezes her eyes shut, trying to focus on anything but it.

it was simple, and really not that heavy or distinctive of a smell. just clean clothes–his detergent, and maybe a hint of lemon or lavender. it was easy to get used to, and it had become familiar to her after being around him so long in the past, but she hadn’t smelled it in so long, she felt like she was suffocating now. with the smell came so many memories associated with him, and it took everything in her not to let out a shaky breath, giving away her emotions.

he didn’t know what to say, looking at her. her chin was resting on top of her knees, pulled up close against her chest, and her eyes were closed, brows furrowed as if she was trying desperately to hold something in. had he come off too strongly? he liked to think he still knew her, could read her mind, tell when she was cold, and when she needed something, but maybe he was wrong, or just moving too fast. maybe she didn’t feel the same way, and didn’t want to be friends again.

“thanks,” she murmurs finally, eyes opening again, although she’s staring at the ground below them, and he’s unsure of where to look–at her, or the ground as well.

“yeah,” he replies, and the conversation falls quiet between them again.

it’s almost comfortable between them. it would be if she wasn't feeling like she was ruining everything and only digging herself a bigger hole. maybe they went quiet because he was sick of her now, and regretted asking to see her. and should she even care or not? should she get up and leave right now? what was the right thing to do right now, objectively? not what was right according to her heart, but according to her head?

she should be keeping her distance from him, not allowing him to get closer, giving him the chance to hurt her again. he had let them get distant, she reminded herself. he had let their friendship crumble without saying a word, he didn’t see her the way she saw him, and she couldn’t rely on him to be there for her.

“how are you?” he breaks the silence, and the question sets off every nerve in her body. it’s like her mind is being torn in two, trying to find an answer to the simple question. it’s not really that simple– he’s asking it, referring to the last 10 years of her life, and he’s asking her to be vulnerable and share about herself, and she can’t do that.

“don’t do that to me,” she says, shutting her eyes again.

“do what?” he’s looking at her, at his jacket draped around her shoulders, and shoves his hands in his pockets, trying to hold himself back from reaching out to fix her hair, which has been slightly caught underneath the jacket. 

she lets out a heavy, quiet breath, “don’t ask me that– like you care.”

“i do care,” he responds immediately, and she’s sure if she looked up at him, he’d be looking at her. but if she looks at him, she’ll break.

“we shouldn’t be doing this. we can’t be doing this. i shouldn’t be seeing you outside of my office. i listened to you talk about your struggles for an hour that you would've otherwise paid for if it wasn't the first meeting. you can’t turn around and ask how i am for free. that’s not fair. we should be nothing more than a therapist and a client. it’s easier for me to look at you that way because–” her voice gets caught in her throat for a second as she tries to talk confidently, but her voice gives away her feelings. she sounds like she’s on the verge of tears before they even reach her eyes, but she blinks through them, “because i look at you and still see what we used to be. but so much happened between us, and then you left, and that still hurts.”

‘then will you let me make it up to you? then can we go back to what we were before? and can we be more?’ the words are heavy in his head, and too forward to say out loud, but he has to say something. he has to say something now because he didn’t say anything back then.

he had always assumed that she had just been disappearing from his life altogether–from his notifications, the school hallways, and his walks home, but he realized now she had done that on purpose. she had purposely removed herself from his life so they would never see each other, and he had never stopped her. of course she hadn’t believed him, when he had said it was good to see her in her office, and of course she hadn’t fully understood what his ulterior motives were when he texted her out of the blue about wanting to see her again, because he had never showed how much he cared back then. but he had to tell her now that she was worth everything.

“i don’t mind paying it,” he ends up saying, and finally gets her to look at him, “i don’t mind paying to see you for an hour. i’d pay to be around you anyday, especially if you’re going to refuse to see me anywhere else, then i’ll just force you to put up with me for an hour every week.”

she laughs with a shake of her head, “you’re not forcing me to see you. i want to see you outside of that time…i just–i shouldn’t.”

“why not?” he can’t help but ask. “you’re still friends with atsumu, too. you text him outside of your appointments all the time.”

“yes but–” i like you more than a friend. hell, i’ve been in love with you for the past 10 years of my life. actually, probably for even longer, but who’s even counting at this point– she takes a deep breath again. she should leave soon, and think about this. she’s going to end up letting him convince her if she keeps listening to him, “maybe next time. i’ll tell you how i’ve been next time, okay?”

she’s giving him a next time, and he’ll take whatever he can get. they can start slow again. being her client is like being her acquaintance. people are always acquaintances before they’re friends; they can grow from here.

"when is next time?" he responds quickly, realizing it sounds like she’s going to stand up and leave soon, but he's not losing sight of her again.

she avoids looking at him, keeping her knees are pulled to her chest as she picks at the worn-down plastic of the playground tube they're sitting on, "i don't know, sakusa. i really need time to think about all of this. i don’t know what i’m doing here, or why i showed up tonight.”

her words feel like a burn in his lungs, but even when his sides are aching on his morning runs, he keeps going. "but you showed up anyway."

she finally looks at him, and he swears he could get lost in her eyes forever. he can’t believe he went through their entire friendship without telling her how beautiful she was, in every single way. he can’t believe he ever let go of her. perhaps that cliche saying was true, that you never know how important something really is until you lose it.

"i did," she echoes, continuing to stare into his own eyes.

"are you going to leave?" he asks, unable to look away.

she looks back down at the threads of green plastic she was pulling at, and his eyes follow. they used to meet at this playset all the time. during the summer, when she’d sleep over, they’d stay up until three in the morning, and then she’d nudge him about sneaking out. he used to worry about what would happen if his parents checked on them and saw that they were gone if they sneaked out, but she always ended up convincing him in the end. they rarely fought or had disagreements. with enough talking, they always managed to persuade the other to agree with them.

“i am. because we both need time to think. you need to think about if you’re going to see me again for therapy and i just need to think. about everything," she replies, and he watches her grab the edge of the tube, steadying herself as she moves to stand before he slides himself off the tube onto the ground below. it’s not that far of a drop for him now, although it was the scariest drop ever as a kid. now he stands eye level with most of the playset, but she's looking at him like it's still that big of a fall, mouth slightly agape in surprise.

“i’ll help you down,” he says with a smile and she blinks.

“no, i’m fine–” her words die out as he looks at her, brows raised in expectancy. this is what he meant: they were always able to push the other to do something, no matter how much they tried to resist in the beginning.

she lets out a sigh, trying to buy time as she fixes her skirt, preparing herself to slip off the tube. it really shouldn't be that scary, but she exclaims as she drops, barely registering the hands on the sides of her waist that catch her while her own clamp down on his shoulders.

her face is red as he lowers her down gently to the ground. whether it’s from the embarrassing noise she let out or the fact that he caught her, she’s not sure. maybe it’s both. even when he lets go of her, she can feel his hands on her still, as if they've been permanently etched into her skin. he’s looking down at her, and there’s a hint of playfulness in his eyes and the smile on his lips. he's too close to her, and she can't stop looking at his lips so she looks down at the ground instead, clutching at the jacket around her shoulders before she remembers it’s not hers.

“oh, here’s your jacket back,” she starts, moving to take off the piece of clothing before he stops her with a hand over he own.

“you can keep it for a little longer if you– if you let me walk you home,” he says, on the verge of losing all of his confidence, but he just can’t let go of her. he doesn't want to watch her leave, but he knows she needs a break.

she looks up at him, feeling like her lips are quivering with how nervous and flustered she feels, “you don’t have to do that, really. i can walk home by myself.”

“but if i want to?”

it’s a repeat of a conversation they had earlier, because she can never give him a complete no, and he always knows to take that as a yes.

she’s ruining everything she’s trying to do for herself right now. she’s trying to set a boundary between them, and horribly failing. because what if he walks her home, and he happens to live nearby again? what if they start to see each other more often? or worst of all, what if he ends up leaving again?

well what if he doesn’t?

oh, whatever.

fuck the what ifs.

they can try again.

.

.

.

"it's gonna rain soon / and pull me back in.

"i had the words / you thought a hundred times

"oh darlin' / will you still walk me back home?'"

prev. | m.list | next

extras <3

not really any extras! i just hope u enjoyed <3 and that this chapter was good and not too long or just a bunch of rambles!! i had like three ideas i had randomly wrote down and then just copied and pasted into this chapter and was trying to make them all fit 😭

IWAIZUMI AND Y/N HAVE A PLATONIC SIBLING-TYPE RELATIONSHIP!!! JUST MAKING THAT CLEAR also i'm a sucker for iwaizumi but that's besides the point

omi just kind of got up and left at some point during dinner when atsumu got tipsy and started talking to shoyo and bo. he said goodbye to osamu and then left

they all have each other's locations anyway and shoyo and bokuto trust him to know what he's doing

kita, akaashi, and iwa ended up going home soon after iwa got back from walking y/n to the park and then he and kita stayed up all night waiting for her to come home while akaashi was passed out <3

this fic lowkey goes a little bit off the rails!! but hopefully u guys enjoy it <33

AND I KEEP FORGETTING TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THIS I'VE KIND OF LOST IT NOW!! but y/n's pfp is a pufferfish because they symbolize protecting yourself and setting boundaries <3 interpret that as u will

taglist: @eggyrocks @wyrcan @guitarstringed-scars @strawberryuri @violetesensou @kakeru-eem @glmge @heytheredemonsss @mollyrolls @bemebiu @daszy @snail-squasher @0moonii @thiisisntlovely @todorokiskitten @rory-cakes @iiwaijime @iatethemochi @yuminako @savemebrazilhinata @kismyscars @bokutoko @nobodybutnnoorr @wolffmaiden @daisy-room @softpia @lees-chaotic-brain @v3nusplanetofluv @crispchocolates @phoenix-eclipses @hhoneyhan @encrypta @rockleeisbaeeee @cr4yolaas @zombriesworld @localgaytrainwreck @moucheslove @hibernatinghamster @notverymarley @certaindreampost @akaakeis @ciderscape @lucien-luna @strawbrinkofdeath @wave2mia @samuel1004 @01trickster10 @dazqa @cosmiicdust @chemiru

[a-hazbin-reader]

Alastor and reader's wedding? What did her dress look like? How did Al react to her wallking down the isle?? PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW

I always cry at weddings 😭 😭 😭

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Possessive Alastor, FEELINGS

Description: ☝️⬆️

If you two got married when you were alive, then I imagine it was a very small and intimate ceremony

You and Alastor did a lot of the decorating yourselves, even making your own wedding cake because Alastor can BAKE

You two had a blast doing it too, turning everything into a little game and making deals over who could set things up the fastest/nicest

Winner gets a kiss from the loser

You two would likely only invite your closest friends and relatives(if you were close with your family that is)

If Alastor's mother was still alive by the time you guys got engaged then she 110% would be there(I genuinely don't remember when she died soooooo)

She would absolutely be his best man because who else would be worthy of such a position??

Happy tears from her the entire time

This woman will walk you down the aisle if she has to, she won't let you walk alone on your big day

Not Alastor holding back tears at the sight of his mother and soon to be wife walking towards him

Mimzy would also have been there, and she would've fought for her right as maid of honor, like physically fought off her competitors

You're haunted by the memory of it, actually

Absolutely sticks her nose in everything but only because she wants it to be perfect for you two

She will tear up anyone who throws a wrench in the ceremony and will run it better than she did her own club

"These floors better be SPOTLESS! If I see a single speck of dust on that dress-"

She probably insisted on paying for the wedding too

Alastor would probably have a last minute freak out at the thought that this is actually happening, he's getting married

But he wouldn't be nervous about you leaving him at the altar or anything like that, just normal wedding jitters

But he's resolute in the fact that he wants this, he wants to be your husband and share his life with you

And he definitely doesn't want anyone else thinking there's a chance they can take you from him

Alastor is positively radiating warmth and pride by the time you're walking down the aisle, blown away by how stunning you look

Whether the dress is unique, traditional or not even a wedding dress-he's amazed by just how good you look in it

It makes his mouth water

He's lowkey preening for you the entire time

It just makes everything seem more real to him, immediately reaching out to take your hands in order to keep himself grounded in reality

He actually is at a loss for words for once...

"You look really handsome..."

The sight of your happy blush brings him back, and he's pressing his forehead to yours

"And you look nearly as good as I do, my dear~"

Ass

The slight quiver in his smile, glassy eyes and tight grip on your hands gives him away though, you know what he really means

You look heavenly to him

Neither you or Alastor listen to a word the officiant says, too busy gazing lovingly at one another to pay them any mind

And you're definitely not getting distracted at the feeling of his thumbs gently caressing over your hands

When it comes to the vows, Alastor definitely puts his heart and soul into trying to make you cry at words

He's putting on a show for you but you love it ❤️

He looks smug as hell when he finishes

His gaze becomes softer as you say your own vows, smile becoming a little more gooey as you make his heart race

"And if anyone is opposed to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Not Alastor and Mimzy giving death glares to anyone who would even dare saying anything

As if you two even invited anybody who would fucking try

"You may now kiss-"

Alastor doesn't even wait for him to finish, tugging you close and kissing you deeply

And once your arms wrap around his neck then maybe the kiss gets a little too intimate

Mimzy is whistling and cheering while Alastor's mother is politely looking away from you two

You two barely pull away to breathe before he kisses you again, seemingly unable to stop

He just can't believe he's kissing his wife

That he's your husband and everyone is going to know that you're not on the market anymore

Not that you ever were before

It's an embarrassingly long time before you two stop, and you're left panting, rosy-cheeked, and weak in the knees

Alastor doesn't move his arm from your waist for the rest of the night, wanting to keep you close

The only time he does let you go is when he goes to dance with his mother or when it's your turn to dance with his mother

Not her giving you both embarrassing advice about the honeymoon and early married couple life

She wants grandkids dammit

When you two are cutting the cake, he does NOT slam a slice into your face but he does put a bit of frosting on your nose

Only to lick it off a moment later

🥵 BOI

If you do it back to him then he will be properly flustered because he was banking on the fact that you would be too shocked to react

He doesn't care about wedding gifts or anything like that but his mother's blessing means everything to him

So her approval of your marriage and you as her daughter in law just solidified how important you'll always be to him

But don't worry because Mimzy definitely made sure to hook you two up with gifts

Alastor literally can't stop kissing you afterwards, your hands, your cheeks, your forehead, your neck, ect

If you return even a smidgen of that affection back to him then it'll only make him more excited for your future together

He's not even thinking of the honeymoon, he's just overwhelmed with the urge to give you affection

He just thinks about how he'll never be tired of being your husband and having you as his wife

Waking up to you, going to bed with you, cooking with you, messing with you, hell even fighting with you sounds appealing because then he can make up with you

Alastor never really thought of himself as the type to get married but you came and completely changed that with your love

Even though he was difficult and fought falling in love with you with everything he had

You fought back harder to love him

Now that he's here with you, looking at the wedding band on your finger, the loving look on your face

Your hand on his cheek gently guiding him to look into your eyes as you lean in towards him

Feeling your lips on his own as you whisper loving things against them before kissing him

He's happy you won that fight

This one was a lot of fun!! I was originally going to do two versions of this! One wedding before you two died and one for after you both were dead but then I included his mom and-

I got very carried away

[lewisvinga]

mixed emotions | max verstappen/lewis hamilton x hamilton! fem! reader

summary; after the events of abu dhabi 21, everyone wonders how y/n will react or post due to her boyfriend winning his first wdc and her brother losing a record breaking championship.

fc; asantewa chitty + various girls from pinterest

warnings; ?

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1

note; requested ! tried so hard not to be biased here as a 44 girlie, it lowk hurt 🤒🤒🤒🤒 the sky fall x ad21 edits go hard tho

masterlist !

yourusername uploaded to their story !

[caption 1; ready for the last race of the seasonnnn!] [caption 2; when your brother and boyfriend are f1 drivers >>]

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and others !

yourusername: so unbelievable proud of how far you have come from the awkward 18 year old you once were who blushed everytime i looked at him. my maxie, you’ve become a wonderful amazing man. i love you so much. congratulations, my champ💗💗

tagged; maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1: i love you , always & forever ❤️

yourusername: always & forever💞💞

maxverstappen1: you were so pretty that you made me awkward 😅

yourusername: babe, i was just as awkward bc a certain cute blondie kept staring at me😌

username: omg i

username: these pics are so cute i almost forgot what happened 😣

username: my maxie☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

username: i just know she’s feeling hella mixed emotions rn liked by yourusername !

username: THE WORLD CHAMPPP

username: the bouquet is so huge i’m crying

username: gosh they’re so cute i love them ur honor

charles_leclerc: picture credits; chares_leclerc 😁

yourusername: thank u charles 🙄🙄

charles_leclerc: ur welcome y/n😒

liked by lewishamilton, landonorris, and others !

yourusername: to one of the most important men in my life, i’m grateful everyday that you’re my older brother. this is just a small unfortunate bump in the road. us hamiltons are strong and i know you’ll become stronger. i love you so much, lew💜

tagged; lewishamilton

lewishamilton: forever grateful that you’re my baby sister, i love you, y/n ! 💜

yourusername: got a vegan chocolate cake in the oven for u btw 🫂🫂

lewishamilton: God bless baby sisters liked by yourusername !

username: tears actual tears streaming down my face

username: my fave siblings

username: the hamiltons alwaysss eat

username: 🥹🥹🥹

username: i just wanna know how the merc rb family dinners will be like 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

username: ME TOOO, it’s been months since the last one 😭😭

username: well it might be months for the next one bc of what happened…

username: NOOO😭😭💔💔

username: i know this is supposed to be a cute post after lewis losing, but damn the hamiltons are fine asf

username: so true bestie

yourusername uploaded to their story !

[caption 1; cooking cooking, can you guess for what?] [caption 2; ready for the hamilton-verstappen family dinner] [caption 3; a vegan chocolate cake by me heals the soul 🫂🤝 ( lewis and max gang up on me )]