#he’s actually so important to me i could write a 16 page essay on him and i truly mean that

[priestfrommidnightmass]

peter maldonado most important character of all time to me as a hispanic boy who gets overly fixated and does not play when it comes to the things he cares abt and would literally rather strain and destroy his relationships than be proved wrong

[dyradoodles]

Hiiiiii! 💕 I was just wondering….. what are your preferences for Zack & Seph? Do you ship ‘em, is it up to circumstance, does the age matter to you/do you consider their age and their gap? Why not even throw in how you fell in love with Zack & Seph to begin with? Do you have sources?? MLA format for Zack’s fandom page???

*plops down on floor*

Details plz! ❤️

Ah yes hello person that I definitely do not know, who definitely didn't see me say I could write an essay about this very subject on discord LMFAO

I'll put the actual essay under a cut for people who don't want to scroll through my Many Feelings about these two lol As a TLDR to your questions:

Yes I ship them, but also Yes it's up to circumstance! Yes I consider their canon ages/the age gap (which most visibly manifests in me only drawing them platonically if I'm drawing Zack as a Second/with the puppy hair, or writing a fic taking place during CC)! I was actually into Aeriseph first and stumbled into ZackSeph fics, and realized it was a similar dynamic, but with someone who spent time with Seph canonically before he went bananas! All of this was before CC came out and I've been loving these characters for 20+ years!

To borrow a phrase (from crylin iirc), honestly, I like just seeing them standing next to each other, romantic or no LMAO <3

NOW, FOR THE ESSAY.

So to expand on what I said earlier, I think it's obvious from my blog and ZS server that I ship these two LMAO That said, the way I ship them is based heavily on the era of fandom before CC was a thing. I got into FF7 around 2002 (possibly earlier, I just don't have the dates on drawings that old), five years before CC came out. At the time, we knew next to nothing about Zack beyond the very short clips of him in OG. So, fandom did what fandom does best, and tried to fill in the blanks!

Some of the efforts to figure out who Zack was went all the way down to his name, because it's Zakkusu in Japanese. So you'll see him as Zax, too - There were heated debates on whether to use Zack or Zax. And no last name! Fandom had to come up with surnames themselves. We also didn't have much of a reference beyond his polygon model, which seemed to have darker skin and, (as many fics described it) violet eyes. It was also assumed that, since he was a First who worked closely with Sephiroth, he was probably around Sephiroth's age. You likely already see where I'm going with this, laying all that out lol The Zack I draw and write is very much based on that time period, and if I'm honest, that's the character I really ship with Seph. I still joke in my fics sometimes that Zack's last name might be Donovan or Darklighter, etc., which are old fandom surnames!

Now, obviously CC came out and threw all this on its head, because we finally got a whole GAME about this (important!) minor character. I have many beefs with CC's writing and Square's insistence that so many of their characters need to be child prodigies (they can't ALL be prodigies, Square!!!). With Zack going from an assumed early 20s to suddenly being 16, and all the craziness of CC's plot, the way I approached the ship changed as well.

This is where I would firmly say my stance is: I don't think Seph had any interest in Zack romantically, in CC. Because that's a kid lmao If I'm engaging with the Compilation as a whole, I definitely lean way more into the mentor/mentee relationship for the two of them. As a personal rule, I only draw them platonically if Zack's got the puppy hair, because that was the most obvious visual cue I could think of that could draw that line between Zack's teen years vs. adult. If Seph managed to not go insane, then yeah, later in life I could still see them getting together! But clearly that's already AU territory lmfao

Ultimately, what I like best about Zack & Seph is how they treat each other (while Seph is still sane lol). That goes for platonically and romantically. Zack is so genuine and kind, and treats Seph the way he always wanted to be treated - like he's human. He can joke around with Seph in a way most people simply can't. Meanwhile, Seph treats Zack's feelings with respect, even during the times he's laughing at Zack for being ridiculous. He's also honest with Zack. He answers truthfully when Zack asks what's wrong, and it's clear that it's because he knows Zack is not a threat; Zack will take Seph's feelings seriously, too. I can enjoy the drama of the trauma and heartbreak that comes with Sephiroth's descent into villainy, but my favorite stuff definitely involves a lot of Nibelheim fix-it fics lol

Despite all the changes CC made to Zack and his relationship to Sephiroth (RIP Second in Command Zax Donovan/Darklighter/Knightblade, my beloved), their actual dynamic with regard to how they treat each other stayed, miraculously, intact. That's the real reason they're still my favorite characters, and how my enjoyment of FF7 has remained as strong as it is after literal decades. Square can retcon as many things as they want in the Compilation, but they'll never stop me from making art and fic of the characters I grew up with. Unless I get a C&D for some reason LMFAO Until then, I'll keep enjoying my AUs (and if anything, I have even more reason to enjoy them now that AUs themselves are canon - you bet your ass I'll be in the AUs where ONLY OG happened and I can ignore everything else LOL)

Thank you for the questions!! It was fun to get all my thoughts written down in one huge chunk, as opposed to my typical disjointed ramblings to my friends. Hopefully it was an interesting read!

Sources:

Fanlore. “Zack Fair.” The Organization for Transformative Works, 2 Jan. 2023, fanlore.org/wiki/Zack_Fair.

Doodles, Dyra. "Way Too Much Fandom Lurking." Dyra's Childhood to Adulthood, Copious Amounts of Fanfiction, 3 Apr. 2024

[bakugoukatsuki-rising]

Bakugou Katsuki - Rising

So I told someone a while ago I’d be writing an essay on Bakugou’s lines from 284, and I’m keeping true to my word. If you’re wondering which lines, well my friend, these lines;

So this, to me, is one of the most emotionally packed pages of these recent chapters. For one, it shows us that Bakugou has always been watching Deku, the same as Deku has been watching him. Since they were kids, probably from the age of 4, Bakugou was able to tell Deku never thought of himself first, it was always what he could do to help and protect other people with no regard to his own safety or well-being. 

“He’s always been like that.” 

How would Bakugou know Deku has always been this way if he wasn’t paying attention to him? It goes beyond his bullying in Middle School, because he’s watched Deku stand up for other’s his entire life. The very first scene of the manga is Deku protecting a child from Bakugou and his group of misfits, despite being quirkless, and essentially helpless. 

Despite being scared, and knowing he didn’t have the strength to take on those boys, he still stood his ground and did what he could to protect the other kid. Bakugou witnessed that first hand, since he was the aggressor. He was the one Deku was protecting someone from.

There was no way Bakugou wouldn’t remember something like that.

We know he remembered how Deku extended his hand to him when he fell in the stream, even though Bakugou was fine and didn’t need any help. Deku still waded through that water and even risked possibly getting himself hurt, to reach out to Bakugou and make sure he was alright. 

Now, I am going to point out that the stream incident definitely happened before the scene of Deku protecting that boy since it’s evident they’re older in that scene, but it was presented first (literally the first panel of the entire manga), so it takes precedent. 

Then we have the big one, which is the Sludge Villain incident, and Deku’s biggest show of self-sacrifice probably to date within the manga, since he was quirkless and would have certainly ended up dead if All Might hadn’t managed to power up. Even with the times he’s wrecked his body using OfA, he at least had some kind of fighting chance because of the power, but with the Sludge Villain, he had nothing. He was just throwing himself out there in hopes, by some miracle, he could do something to save his friend, even if it meant losing his life in the process. 

Another instance of Bakugou witnessing firsthand the self sacrificial nature of Deku. Throughout the manga we’re given these instances, and the next big one is Bakugou’s kidnapping. Now, he didn’t see Deku’s fight with Muscular, but he did see the aftermath, he saw that ruined body running at him full force with no care to the damage done to himself, and even before that, he saw Shoji carrying him while Deku continued to plan out their plan of rescue, like his entire body wasn’t a crumpled mess. 

Time and time again, Bakugou has been witness to Deku’s behavior, to this self sacrificial nature. The scene above is the first real time we see Bakugou acknowledge it. He tells Deku to stay back, he knows if he continues trying to fight looking like that, he’s going to die. I’ve seen other translations and I believe in the anime he says something to the context of “Don’t come, Deku.” Which, either way you look at it, it gives the same impression of Bakugou trying to protect Deku in that moment. Because he knew if there was an opportunity for Deku to reach, he would have fought until there was nothing left of him. 

“And now that he can do so much more...”

This line is important because it is Bakugou acknowledging Deku’s current strength with OfA, but it is also his confession of worry because he knows who Deku is, and what this means for him. If Deku was reckless and willing to sacrifice himself when he was a 4 year old child with no quirk, well now that he has the strongest power essentially in existence, that means certain death. There is nothing stopping him from completely destroying himself, and we saw a brief example of that when Deku fought Muscular, though not even close to the level he was going at Shigaraki, and what Bakugou was actually getting to witness during this chapter and 285/286. 

I use the above image because it kind of shows how bad off Deku was, which is far worse than when he fought Muscular, let me remind you. That scene is in chapter 285, after he’s essentially destroyed both of his arms hitting Shigaraki probably upwards of 10 times with 100% OfA. 

Remember, Bakugou has been watching all of this from the ground. 

“Something doesn’t feel right, it makes me wanna keep him at arms length.” 

Well ya know, I don’t really blame you for feeling that way, Bakugou, I wouldn’t feel right if the kid I knew my entire life was willing to die at literally every turn without thinking for a split second about himself, either. It’s a little strange, but that’s what makes Deku the unstoppable force that he is, because he has the drive to save people no matter what. Now if he could master his power and depend on other’s, it would be even better, because then maybe he wouldn’t have to kill himself trying to protect people.

But seriously, that line shows Bakugou's uncertainty about getting close to Deku, because that kind of behavior is scary. It's intimidating. To just...throw your life away for the sake of someone else, that's gotta be scary to see someone do, and Bakugou has witnessed it over and over because of his closeness to Deku.

Now for the big one.

"Back then, I ignored my own weakness...so I ended up bullying him."

There's the kicker, folks. The real development we've all been waiting for.

I do want to point out that when Bakugo was 4, he didn't realize he had weaknesses like that. He was honest to God just a bratty kid that probably thought Deku was weird for caring so much about people despite, essentially, being useless to them. Because what could Deku do? Nothing. He couldn't help anyone because he was quirkless, but he still tried, and that's what affected Bakugou so strongly.

So strongly, in fact, that he never forgot it for a single second.

From 4 years old all the way up to 16 years old. 12 years. 12 years Bakugou Katsuki was witnessing Deku's self sacrificial nature. Again and again he watched as this boy who had nothing, continued to fight for something, and then he was granted power, terrifying power, and now Bakugou is left to wonder how the fuck any of this could have happened. Because if Deku had just stayed quirkless and accepted it, maybe, just maybe, he would stop that self sacrifical bullshit. Maybe he would see himself a bit more.

But then he was given OfA, and all of that hope was gone. Now he was given a power meant to take on the greatest evils and every person before Deku had died for the cause, so why would it stop with Deku, who was already ready to get himself killed to protect someone else when he was like 14 years old?

The scenes we have of Bakugou acknowledging Deku's behavior, and acknowledging his own behavior, it's such a raw scene. It takes a lot to acknowledge you've done wrong by someone else. It takes a lot of strength to sit back and recognize those ugly parts of you, and here Bakugou is, doing just that. And he isn't doing it for some self righteous get me off, either. He's doing it because he genuinely cares about Deku's well being, and he always has.

It never came out the right way, and he sees that now, but that doesn't mean the concern wasn't there. He just didn't know the right ways to express it, but as things have gotten more serious and now Deku is truly risking his life for this cause, he's come face to face with it. He can't hide from it anymore. The more OfA develops, the more Deku is going to put himself out there, and Bakugou isn't going to sit around while he kills himself when he could just learn to ask for help.

This stretches all the way into 285 and Bakugou's sacrifice, because he saw Deku about to end up seriously hurt or worse, and he knew he couldn't let that happen. Of all the years spent endlessly tearing himself apart for other people, Bakugou knew he needed to show the other in some way he didn't have to do it like that. He didn't have to fight alone.

That, and it was part of his atonement. It was a piece of his apology to Deku, to show him that he valued him, and he was willing to put his life on the line for someone, for him.

Bakugou didn't think when he rushed out to save Deku. It was instinctual, like breathing. He saw someone he cared about in danger, and his body moved on it's own. That, from the angry brat we get in chapter 1, is a beautiful showcase of perfect character development and growth. If you take into account everything I've discussed throughout this, it should be easy to realize or at least see a bit of Bakugou's perspective, and his thought process when dealing with Deku.

It never justifies any of his past behavior, but it gives us clarification, and then allows us to appreciate his thoughts and actions in 284 and 285 even more.

[crispyapplepies]

AkuRoku Defense pt 2

Axel and Roxas’s ship has had one of the most bizarre fandom journey’s i have ever come to witness. It has gone from being one of the most popular ships maybe ever, to being dead cancelled over a supposed age gap and I find that completely unfair, especially when it speaks to so many innocent people who emotionally depend on the ship, (yes innocent includes the spicy people because art literally is not a crime). So its time to defend it.

Brief Review on Nobodies vs Aging

First of all, l already explained in part 1 what the Nobodies Don’t Age thing means but I’ll go over it again briefly, since it can be confusing, though also many people seem to demand their hands be held rather than use their imaginations to understand. Even so, here’s the short version just for a review:

-A person in KH is made of a heart, body, and soul.

-The body reflects the heart in KH. (See: replica bodies taking on the appearance of the heart that’s inside them). 

-A nobody lacks a heart, making them just a body and soul. They’re advanced zombies of sorts.

Nobodies do not age because they have no heart for the body to reflect. This is why they won’t change until they form one. Change includes age

-Ergo, you can imagine any age you like for Axel to be nobodied, cuz he was frozen at that age and did not change for 10 years. Not until he met Roxas. 

We’ll come back to this again later.

Axel Loves Roxas Canonically

Second of all, Axel loves Roxas and you are allowed to interpret that as platonic, familial, or romantic, I don’t care as long as you’re not forcing that idea on others like the ship police. That said, people are allowed to explore how romantic this love potentially is. 

And what you might like to know is that the canon is even open to this. Axel’s love for Roxas is canonically expressed, and if you would like, you can even interpret that love as romantic. See below:

We are going to look at the japanese translation because AS ALWAYS good old SENA is here for the straights and erases the gay, like clockwork. 

In English, Axel says this:

Axel: I wanted to see Roxas. He...was the only one I liked... He made me feel...like I had a heart. It's kind of...funny... You make me feel...the same...

Axel’s line here in Japanese:

Axel: I wanted to see Roxas... I loved him. Being with him... it made me feel like I had a heart. I feel it from you, too... the same kind of....

You may notice that as romantic as the line “he made me feel like I had a heart” sounds, the original can be read as wAY gooier, specifically cuz of this word:

好き: "suki"

Now here’s the thing. Japanese is a pretty vague language which is why context is so important for these things, as well as what you say, and what you don’t say. 

“Suki” is a very key word here because it is often used in romantic confession scenes.

(I have no idea what this panel is from, I apologize lol) 

It CAN mean something casual, like “I love video games”, but considering Axel is saying this with his dying breath, I don’t think we should be treating it as some hyperbole. He is referring to a person and it is meaningful. However. It is still a word with plausible deniability. Japanese has several words for love, “ai” for example being one of the most inarguable means of referring to romantic love. So choosing “suki” still leaves room for the homophobes to disregard it as something not romantic. Which makes it objectively inconclusive. Here is the thing though… they specifically chose that word, suki, a word which IS so often used in a romantic context in many anime and manga. 

They also chose to use that word rather than something objectively platonic. Which means you also cannot conclude Axel did NOT mean it romantically. Given his devotion to Roxas, and the fact that they chose this word of all words for him to say… I’m personally going to assume it’s romantic. You are free not to interpret it that way. But I am because I am considering the fact that they did not choose something strictly platonic. 

(My translator friend actually freaked out when I showed her this, she’s translated and seen enough confession scenes to know what connotations that particular word comes with lol). 

If you’ve read my queer coding doc, you may recall I also go over how this is one of the most important tricks with queer coding. You write something that CAN be viewed as queer but with plausible deniability for straight people to ignore it. It’s a means of protecting oneself and the text from homophobic oppression. It is a legitimate practice. So even though it can be denied as a queer text, it can also very very well be viewed as a definite queer text. We are choosing to queer it here. It is not as explicit as it could be, but it is still very bold, suggestive coding considering the homophobic world we live in, and especially with KH2 being released in 2004. 

“But Age Gap!” (ughhhhh)

We’re back to this cuz I also finally have the Japanese version of that infamous page in the Day’s novel to look at.  

I hope you’ll forgive me if I get a little bit salty but I don’t like to repeat myself lol so I’m gonna try to keep this section short and to the point.

In this interview with Nomura, he expresses that nobodies do not age, and they exist as they were at the time of becoming a nobody. He then suggests Xemnas seems 30 ish.

Now I truly do not care to hold your hand through the process of thinking creatively because you should be using your own imagination, if you have one, to think critically and creatively about what this idea means.

Kingdom Hearts is a FANTASY game. Nobodies are a FANTASY concept. They can break ALL the rules about real life that you want them to. But I will go ahead and explain this for you even though I’ve already done it many times, in this very document even and in other meta posts.

The body reflects the heart. Nobodies are frozen as they are from the moment they are “born”, which is to say the moment they are created. Glorified zombies. They aren’t going to age unless they form a heart. Why does Xemnas look 30? He has a heart! Or he was formed 10 years after TerraNort defected. You tell me. Why did Ienzo age? I dunno, you tell me! Either he formed a heart and didn’t know it, (he’s passionate about his work, he loves Ansem the Wise, any number of things could’ve made him form a new heart), or he was nobodied later in life. Axel is frozen at whatever age he was when he was nobodied, all the while Ienzo could’ve been nobodied 10 years later. It’s a fantasy, and these are fantasy rules. That scenario can happen. YOU decide. Until the canon tells us for sure, your imaginations can run wild with explanations. Even if the canon does tell us, you can still imagine whatever you want for your own headcanons. Freedom is amazing, it’s salty and sweet. 

Now let’s talk about that annoying page in the Days novel people keep shoving in my face.

This one right here. The official english translation is this:

That’s not the worst translation I’ve seen them put out there. But let’s look closer at the Japanese:

 Here, Axel says he thinks Roxas is about 10 years separate from himself, but things like age don't exist for nobodies.

Already that’s making a lot more sense to me for nobodies since we are told nobodies do not age. As such Axel speaking like he is 10 years older would feels almost contradictory when he has no heart and cannot change. 

This wording is important. Recall me saying that Japanese is very vague so all of the context matters. No one is denying that 10 years passed between Birth By Sleep and Axel meeting Roxas. However. Nobodies don’t age.

(please dont make me explain that a third time in this essay alone)

The Japanese and English both express that age does not apply to nobodies, (as discussed above^^^^) and the Japanese furthers this with its wording. They have 10 years of separation between Axel being nobodied, and Roxas existing.  

Axel saying in English that Roxas is simply 10 years younger than himself is rather misleading considering the ambiguity of the original. I can’t fault the translators too much for not understanding this nobody concept so well because it is obviously confusing. However, I do not think Axel was saying Roxas is literally, in real life human somebody terms, 10 literal physical years younger than him. He is expressing that he became a nobody 10 years ago whereas this guy became a nobody very recently, and it shows with how little he can even function right now. A zombie who has been wandering around with no heart for 10 years meets a fresh zombie wandering around with no heart for 1 day. 

I know antis are gonna use it against us no matter what, but at least know that akuroku is not inherently pedophilia nor is it inherently an adult/minor ship.

In many of our headcanons, Axel was frozen at age 18 or 19, with Roxas being 16. Absolutely no one is required to view them with a big age gap because imagination is free and you literally have no right to police it, but also because the canon expresses these nobodies as beings outside of the realm of age. They do not operate under real life rules or somebody rules. Think of Steven Universe where Rose was thousands of years old but only “grew up” as a person when she fell in love with Greg, a human in his 20s-30s who asked her to consider other people’s feelings. Consider the mind of a nobody as a state of Neverland. You aren’t gonna age unless you step out of it and change. Mature. Isn’t it sad that Axel did not feel like he had a heart until Roxas? No wonder people ship it!

Coding is Obvious

Finally I wanna conclude on a simple thought. This interview right here? I’d be curious what the original Japanese actually says lol but the english translation of it says that romantic akuroku was not Nomura’s intent. 

Here’s the thing though. If you know anything about queer coding, you know that using romantic coding between 2 male characters is signaling something. It is not something you should ignore. It would not be there if the characters were meant to be viewed as objectively straight. And for something “unintentional”... there sure is a lot of coding at work here.

From Axel pinning Roxas down and asking him to come home in a very sexually suggestive pose,

to watching the sunset in sheer bliss together just enjoying the peace of reunion,

to watching the sunset together while talking about what LOVE is, specifICALLY romantic love,

To this. And I already told you what this was in Japanese.

I’m not saying Nomura lied…

But I am saying that a whole staff worked together to create these games, and it is very difficult for me to believe that no one thought to say “these characters appear to be romantic, let us change the scene to be more platonic” if the characters were not meant to be romantically suggestive. 

Tl;Dr I wanna live in the timeline where people let you ship akuroku lol

[sometimesiwritebadly]

Rehearsal (Peter Parker x Reader)

Summary: Peter and you have to rehearse a scene for your theatre class, which just so happens to have a kiss in it. (Gender neutral reader!)

Prompts: 1. “Why would you do this?” 22. “This is the part where you kiss me.”

Warnings: good old fashioned fluff

Note: Lol this one kinda got away from me. I used a random number generator to choose the prompts and only expected this to be like 800 words max but I ended up with over 2k so. but I really like what I ended up with so I hope y’all do too <3 mostly from Peter’s POV btw. oh and I tried to keep it gender neutral but it’s natural for me to write with a female reader so let me know if I accidentally left a few she’s/her’s in there.

Word Count: 2.1k

Masterlist

Peter Parker is a nerd. He’s good at science and math, which is why he’s attending Midtown School of Science and Technology. Despite the STEM focus the school has, there’s still a requirement for at least one art-related class in order to graduate. When Peter chose an entry level Theatre class, he hoped it would focus more on the study of famous plays than actually having to stand on a stage and act. Peter was very, very wrong. For the first assignment of the semester, students had to pair up and perform a short, dramatic piece. He had been paired with Y/N Y/L/N, who he had a minor crush on. Ok, major crush. After he and MJ broke up last year, he honestly didn’t think he’d find anyone else for a while. But then Y/N transferred to Midtown, and he was whipped right from the start. 

“Look man, you gotta use this opportunity to make a move!” Peter and Ned were walking down the hallway between classes, Ned trying to convince Peter again that this was a great chance to finally tell Y/N how he feels. “Just look up some cute scene for the two of you to perform! It’ll be like when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie fell in love on set!”

“I’m pretty sure they broke up, Ned.”

“Whatever. The point stands.”

The pair approached their lockers, where you were waiting. You had a few papers in your hand, which held your attention until you noticed Peter in front of you.

“H-hey. What’s up?” Peter tried his best to contain his stutter, but couldn’t help it. Y/N just had that effect on him.

“Hey Pete, I, um, I found some potential scripts for us to use for our assignment. I thought you could look over them before we rehearse at mine on Friday? I like them all, so whichever you wanna go with is fine...although I did put a star next to my favorite piece.” You handed half of the papers you were holding to Peter, keeping copies of each script for yourself. Peter noticed that the copies you kept had already been highlighted and annotated, while his were straight from the printer. Except for the small star at the top of the first script in his stack. Before Peter could respond, the warning bell began to ring, signaling only a minute to get to your next class. “Just text me whichever one you want, and we can walk to my place after school tomorrow to rehearse.” You said this as you began to walk away, giving Peter and Ned a small wave before you turned around to race to your final class of the day. 

~~~

Instead of paying attention to his teacher’s lecture during Chemistry, Peter spent the 50 minute period reading through the scripts you had chosen. Peter already knew he wanted to perform the script you liked, but he was nervous. Your favorite scene happened to be the only one which called for a kiss, but he didn’t know if he had the guts to go for it. He could easily choose either of the other scenes and call it a day, but...well, was this your way of making a move? Had you intentionally chosen the script with a kiss to find out if Peter liked you? Did you like him? Or did you just choose that one because you genuinely thought it was the best option?

The bell rang, interrupting Peter’s thoughts and signaling the end of the school day. Hopefully a few hours of swinging through the streets of New York would be enough to distract Peter from thinking about you all night. For once, Peter was actually hoping New York criminals would keep him busy.

~~~

When Peter slipped through the window of his bedroom, his thoughts were unsurprisingly still revolving around you. Despite a somewhat busy night - two muggings, an almost-car crash, and one lost little girl now safely back with her mother - He still hadn’t been able to come to a decision. Half an hour ago you had texted Peter asking if he had chosen a script yet, and he still hadn’t responded. 

“Just go with the script they want, Pete. Even if Y/N doesn’t like you, at least you’ll get to kiss them.” He thought as he removed his skin-tight supersuit and changed into some sweats and a t-shirt. He grabbed his phone from the pocket of his backpack, and, after another minute or so of arguing with himself, finally began to type.

8:31 pm

Y/N:

hey pete, have you decided which script you wanna do yet?

9:06 pm

Peter:

Uh, yeah. I think the one you liked is the best.

9:08 pm

Y/N:

yesss, i was hoping you’d choose that one. i have great taste ;)

9:08 pm

Peter:

Haha, yeah, you do. We’ll rehearse tomorrow after school right?

9:10 pm

Y/N:

yup! i’ll meet you by your locker again :) see ya tomorrow pete

Peter decided to let the conversation end there. Honestly, he had no idea what to think. What does “I have great taste ;)” mean? Is that a reference to the kiss? Does this mean they like him? Or is it just a joke? Peter sent a screenshot of the conversation to Ned for help, but Ned being Ned wasn’t helpful at all. 

9:15 pm

Ned:

Just. Make. A. Move. 

9:16 pm

Ned:

Betty thinks you should make a move too.

Despite his confusion and nerves over tomorrow’s rehearsal, Peter managed to fall asleep at a reasonable time. Hopefully tomorrow he’d get the answers he was looking for.

~~~

Peter waited by his locker after the final bell rang. As the hallways began to clear, he noticed you making your way over to him.

“Sorry, I hope you weren’t waiting too long. My English class is basically all the way across the school.” You looked nervous. Is that good? Or bad? Have you been thinking about the kiss too?

“Y-you’re fine. I’ve only been here for like a minute.” That was a lie. Peter’s Chemistry class was just across the hall from his locker, but you didn’t need to know that. After he finished talking, you seemed to lose all sense of nerves.

“I guess it wasn’t me causing the nerves then…” Peter thought, his mood dropping a little.

“Oh good. Let’s get going then, my apartment is only a couple blocks from here.” And so you began the short walk to your place. You made some small talk on the way there, talking about your other classes instead of the one class you did share. 

“You have Mrs. Jenson third period right? I have her during fifth. Maybe we can study together for her tests...I know the school year just started, but I can already tell she’ll make her tests unnecessarily evil.” You said as the both of you entered your building. 

“That’s a good idea, I know someone who took her class last year and they said she always had essay questions. Not to mention 5 choices for multiple choice questions instead of the usual four.” Peter responded. As he spoke, they headed towards the elevator, and Y/N pressed the button, causing the doors to immediately open. After hitting the number 4 on the wall, the doors slowly began to close. Despite the unfortunate news he was sharing with Y/N, his voice had a hopeful tone to it; They want to hang out with him again. Sure, it’s just loose plans to study for a test sometime in the future, but hey, he’ll take it.

“Damn. History has never been my subject, so I’ll definitely need the extra study time. I can never remember all the important dates.” Your phone buzzed after that, causing you to glance down at it. As you responded to whoever had texted you, Peter was left to his thoughts when the elevator began to move. It wasn’t until the elevator doors opened and you stepped out that the conversation resumed. “That was my mom, guess she’s gonna be at work for a few more hours. We can order a pizza if you want, I’m not sure how long we’ll be rehearsing today.”

“Pizza, uhm,” Peter’s voice cracked, “Pizza sounds good.” Peter cursed to himself, but if you had noticed his voice cracking, you had the decency to ignore it. You pulled your keys from your backpack, and unlocked the second apartment on the floor. 

“Cool, I’ll order something online. Pepperoni ok for you?” You asked as you walked into the apartment, holding the door open for Peter. Peter only nodded, not really trusting his voice for the moment. He took a second to look around the place as you closed the door behind him. When you came into his eyesight again, you were looking at your phone, presumably ordering the pizza. “Since my mom isn’t here we can rehearse in the living room, it’s just this way.” Peter followed you as you led him across the apartment, then sat on the couch. He tried to give you space as you continued punching in the pizza order. While you were busy, Peter opened his own backpack and pulled out the script you had agreed upon. Last night he had highlighted his lines, although luckily for this assignment the teacher had mentioned that memorization was optional. After all, the school year had just begun and it was a beginner’s class.

“Ok, pizza will be here in like half an hour. Now we can get to work!” You quickly pulled out your own script from your backpack, and turned to face Peter. “Do you wanna just read through it a few times, then once we’re used to it we could start working out the blocking?” You suggested.

“Y-yeah, sure, that works for me.” Peter was relieved at this option; read throughs meant he didn’t have to worry about the kiss yet. “Your character starts, right?”

And so the two of you began reading through the script. It was short, only a few pages, and featured someone on the day of their wedding, and the man who was trying to convince them to leave their fiance. At first, the reading was a little awkward, as neither of you had any experience in acting, but by the third or fourth time you had gone through the script together, both of you were feeling much more comfortable. Instead of sitting away from each other on opposite ends of the couch, you were close, the way your characters would be. The blocking had even begun to take shape naturally, so you and Peter stood for the fifth reading, walking around the room, trying your best to embody the characters as they argued. This time, as you approached the end of the script however, Peter’s nerves returned.

“Why would you do this? Just barging in here on my wedding day?” You said, trying to act as frustrated and confused as you felt your character would be. 

“You and I both kn-know you don’t love him! You’ll never be happy with him!” Peter tried to keep his nerves in check, but he knew what was coming.

“And how do you know I’d be happier with you?” Following the stage directions indicated on your script, you stepped closer to Peter. Instead of continuing with the scene, Peter just stared at you, no longer looking at his script. “Uh, Pete?” He still didn’t respond. You were confused, until you looked back at the script. You weren’t sure how you had forgotten, after all, this is why you chose the scene in the first place. “Peter, this is the part where you kiss me” You said quietly. You had taken his choosing of this scene to mean he liked you too, but you weren’t sure. His eyes widened a little at your words though, which made your confidence drop. “O-or not, um, we could do a stage kiss, or you could just kiss my cheek, or we could just cut it complet-” Peter cut off your rambling by putting his hands on your cheek and bringing his lips to meet yours. You were shocked, but easily melted into the kiss. He was gentle as he kissed you, his nerves disappearing the second you kissed him back. After a while, you both separated from the kiss. Neither of you spoke for a minute, just staring at each other.

“U-um.. that was ok, right?” Peter whispered, as you were still pretty close to him. You only smiled, and gave him another short kiss as a response. Before you guys could do anything else, there was a knock at the door.

“Pizza!” Someone said loudly through the wood. Before you could make a move, Peter had grabbed his wallet and was already walking towards the front door.

“I’ll pay...after all, what kind of gentleman would I be if I let you pay on our first date?”

[musicanddancingthroughlife]

Protecting the Spiderling Pt 3

Avoiding the five essays and four stories I’m meant to be working on because it’s 1AM and I don’t want to :P Plus, I laid back to do some writing, but forgot my novel (that I’m literally writing a paper on) on the other side of the couch and ugh I don’t want to get up to get that XD In other news, I think I’ve said, but final papers are coming up, so I’m in the middle of a mad rush to try and finish up everything so I can use these last weeks to just work on final term papers and portfolios. Also, this idiot here decided she could totally read 30 books this month alone, so.... I’m at 20, maybe 21 if i get to read tonight, but I’m taking recs if you guys have any quick reads that you liked XD

Hope you enjoy because I enjoy writing this but I’m not sure that the story’s all that great. Still working out the characters. Here’s Part 1 and Part 2, if you haven’t read them yet :) If you guys have any fics of mine you’d like to see more of, I’m always excited to hear from y’all! Also, I’m drained of ideas right now lol, so feel free to throw thoughts at me. No promises, but you never know :) Marvel I’ll do anything so long as Peter and/or Tony are involved, and y’all know me and Voltron haha

EDIT: It has a title now, guys, I’m such an idiot

-----------------------------------------

As soon as Peter left for school the next day, Steve and Tony made their move, calling all the Avengers to a meeting. As soon as they gathered, Bucky quietly moved to the door, ensuring that no one could leave until Tony was done with them. He scoffed when Natasha was the only one who noticed him move. Some heroes. They were just bullies. And idiots.

               Although, as far as Bucky knew, they couldn’t really blame Bruce, but whatever. He needed to hear this, too. Better that everyone be on the same page.

               “Something has been brought to our attention, and we felt it would be better if we addressed it sooner rather than later,” Steve didn’t even bother with pleasantries. He could feel Tony fuming beside him, and felt it was more important that they get this taken care of before his boyfriend tried to go on a murder spree. While Steve had no doubt Tony could take on any of the Avengers, he also knew that Peter would be upset if half the Avengers were killed by his dad, and then Tony would be sad, and then Bucky would brood cause his favorite boys would be upset, and then Steve would have to listen to all of them mope and whine. Ugh.

               “What the hell is your problem with my kid?” Tony demanded. Steve closed his eyes briefly, praying for strength – because yes he was going to dive right in, but not like that – and when he let his eyes open again, he saw Bucky face palming on the other side of the room.

               Natasha spoke first, “I thought you said you weren’t related to the boy?”

               “That’s not the point, Romanov. The point is that child is in my care and custody, and the other adults,” Tony spat the word like it was an insult, “are treating this like the school playground and bullying the only actual child we have here! It’s a pretty sad day when a 16 year old kid is more mature than Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.”

               As Bucky had suspected, Bruce was staring at everyone with surprise and amazement on his face; he had been completely unaware of what was happening to Peter. That still wasn’t an excuse, but that really just told Bucky that he wasn’t spending enough time with the kid, just as he himself hadn’t been. Sure, Bucky hadn’t really been around for most of the custody thing, but even he had seen more of the abuse in the couple of days he’d been back than Bruce apparently had in the last few months.

               “He’s too young for the field.”

               “Excuse me?” Steve froze. Tony’s voice was dangerously low. “Care to repeat that, Rustwing?”

               But Sam bit his lip, and Clint spoke up instead. “He’s just a kid, Tony. It’s not fair for you to let him on the field.”

               “You can’t honestly tell me that you’re just jealous that the kid gets to see action on more of a regular basis than you do.”

               “Antoshka,” Romanov spoke up again, “he’s too young. He’s going to get hurt, and that’s not fair. He shouldn’t be out in the field at all, because it’s going to get him killed, and that’s going to destroy you.”

               There was a long silence, and then Bucky’s disbelieving voice. “So you, what? Thought that you could drive him away… So he would stay off the field? That’s actually what you thought was going to happen?”

               Even Bruce was gaping at the spy. Maybe he wasn’t as oblivious as Bucky had originally thought. Clint persisted.

               “Well, yeah, because then he would realize that he wasn’t part of the team or anything, and then he would take that time to just go ahead and be a normal kid, because let’s face it, fighting crime – especially the way he does – is not in any way normal, even for an adult. So this would—”

               “You are such an idiot,” Bruce hissed. “That wouldn’t stop the kid!”

               Tony scoffed. “No kidding. If anything, that would only encourage him to be more stupid on the field, Birdbrain.”

               “I feel that we’re getting slightly off track,” Steven broke in. “The main point that we’re driving at is that Peter is a child. One that is under Tony’s – and therefore our – protection. Bullying him by shooting at him—”

               Tony shot Clint another dirty look, and Bucky counted it a blessing that he wasn’t calling a suit right then and there.

               “—or by ruining his homework, or threatening or even manipulating him to stay in his room is not acceptable.” With each word, Bruce was looking more and more green. “I mean, my God, does it make you feel fucking good about yourselves to make a kid cry? Is that what you were looking for, some kind of entertainment?”

               At the reminder of Peter with tears in his eyes, Peter apologizing for being in the way, Peter scurrying off with his overly full bag and what little homework he had saved, Bucky felt anger wash over him again.

               “You will be apologizing to Peter.” Tony’s voice was like ice, and it sent both Steve and Bucky on high alert. “Otherwise you can find other living arrangements. If you can’t respect my family, then you will not be allowed to stay here.”

[jisssooyah]

Hi you... if you were going to curate a little season of films for me, which ones would you choose and why? They don't need to be horror, I'm just curious what you would choose 🌸

I don’t know if you’ll like these movies, or if you’ve already watched them, but after i watched these films, i felt like they might need to belong to you now. i hope they make you smile, roll your eyes, and cry just as much as i did.

1. city of god (2002): this is one of the most immersive and gorgeously shot films i’ve ever seen. it’s set in rio de janeiro during the 60s and spans decades exploring the drug culture in the slums and how this can affect kids just as they are trying to figure their own selves out. the way this film is shot, feels like you were at the sea with them as the sand crunched underneath your feet. but the way that the director captures these individuals, makes you so fucking relieved that you don’t live through any of the circumstances that they go through. 

2. the dreamers (2004): set in 1968, this film follows three students in Paris who come of age and explore one another and their limits during the revolution. while these students prop themselves up as individuals obsessed with sex, running underneath themselves is a current of jealousy, obsession, and blurred familial relationships that made me increasingly uncomfortable. you find yourself feeling bad for the children, and ultimately upset at their upbringing because of their parents. 

3. if beale street could talk (2018): this movie is based off of james baldwin’s titular 1974 novel. in it, the director expertly and vigorously explores love: a love that feels so real that it hurts. the cast is what sold this film to me. the way they talk, laugh, cry, and smile at one another is achingly beautiful and terrifyingly sad. i wanted to transport myself back to their time period and watch the main characters fall in love because the film didn’t seem like enough. 

4. the neon demon (2016): this film follows an emerging model who sacrifices herself to the demands of the industry in order to be attractive and beautiful. there are so many stunning colors in this film that it makes you dizzy, like you’re in a trance and that’s what this world is for the main character: a trance. as she oscillates between reality and fantasy, her world and the characters in it, increasingly seek out to alter her personality. 

5. death becomes her (1992): a deliberately ultra-campy parody of trashy, pandering "women's pictures," soap operas and paperbacks from the '80s and '90s. The three leads all do some of their best work - it's hilarious watching Meryl Streep play a terrible actress, Goldie Hawn is particularly hilarious during her character's cat lady phase, and all around just a really fun and eccentric film. 

6. princess cyd (2017): i can’t think of anything to write for this but i just wanna say that this is literally one of the most pleasant movie experiences i’ve ever had. so much light and genuine interaction in warm sun rays radiating positive energy and an openness that is far too uncommon in movies nowadays. people talk, people connect, people grow bonds and are allowed to be sexual or intimate or personal without an air of shame or judgement. just pure kind and curious human association. 

7. spiderman: into the spiderverse (2018): the message of Spider-Verse is not "gentrify yourself! stop expressing your personality and just conform to what society wants you to be!" After all, what makes you different makes you Spider-Man, and Miles' final expression of himself as a superhero still retains much of his personality and individuality...they're just being used in more productive and fulfilling ways. It's the little things that drive the point home, like noticing that the title page for Miles' finished Great Expectations essay has been stylistically doodled and colored like street art. Rather than seeing his artistic gifts as an opposition to his schoolwork, Miles infuses them together to make the best of the hand he's been dealt.

8. my life as a zucchini (2016): initially heartbreaking and sad, but slowly becoming more joyful and heartwarming as the plot moves along. The film really feels like it captures the essence and child like wonder of these kids, all of them going through hardships but managing to find something to help each other out. It’s so refreshing to see the actual orphanage portrayed in a more positive light, not the usual horrid dump that a lot of lesser movies play them out as. The animation is stunning. One of the best uses of stop motion I’ve seen, everything is so colourful and detailed. There’s some moments set in snowy mountains and these look incredible. There’s clearly been so much love and care put into each and every scene here. The music too, sounds spectacular, it really works well with each scene. 

9. lovesong (2016): Mindy and Sarah have that type of relationship where they don't need words because they speak in a language made out of glances and touches. This movie is about the fear of ruining a meaningful friendship and losing an important person, about love that is so complicated that one might not even try because the outcome seems to be so obvious.

10. her (2013): Heartbreak is formative: it changes you heart side out, and leaves your muscles a little stronger, your skin a little thicker, your bones easier to repair. Before this film, I’d never seen anything constructive in having your insides pulled apart by the seams by another person, but this film taught me how. Being in love and then being forced out of it is an experience that changes you fundamentally, but Her taught me its purpose – you don’t need them to leave you so that you can find someone who’s a better fit, because perhaps you never will. You need it to participate in humanity. The common denominator is being hurt, and without it, you’re barely alive.

11. shoplifters (2018): bittersweet and richly transportive, Shoplifters is a film that nonchalantly eases you into its tragic beauty in a way that doesn't punch you hard until the end. It simultaneously made me want to be part of the film's world and also very glad that I'm not. The setting the characters live in is messy and cluttered and full of dysfunction and lies, but it's also got family, and laughter, and fist-bumps, and slurping warm noodles while rain pings on the tin rooftop. So nuanced, so many tiny moments of delicate beauty and unassuming heartbreak, so many people making terrible decisions with good intentions.

12. god’s own country (2017): though it is a love story between two men, this aspect is only addressed briefly in a single scene. Rather, the film is about finding someone who makes you want to be a better person, someone who comes into your life just when you needed it most. Gheorghe helps Johnny open up and realize the beauty of the simple life. From this relationship, Johnny begins to feel comfortable with expressing himself, and his love and gratitude towards others. He also begins to appreciate life in the country, surrounded by stunning landscapes and the beauty of simplicity. Addressing the Yorkshire countryside, Gheorghe says "It is beautiful, but lonely." Johnny is presented with the notion that he doesn't have to be cold and miserable, slaving and drinking his days away. He is presented with the possibility of no longer being alone and finally finding happiness and contentment - and it is more than gratifying to see him accept it.

13. disobedience (2017): a tender star-crossed daydream. the three main character dynamics are special enough on their own, but the romance that blooms at the center is cathartically intimate and even magical: a reunion that feels so inevitable. catching glimpses of a past life, details we aren’t privy to. all the stolen kisses and whispers and promises. a bond so strong that they fall back in sync with each other like second nature, even if they try to fight against it. even if it won’t work. and yet they choose each other, even if for a few minutes.

14. raw (2016): this film is so gross and I like that. There is tons of blood and unique body horror and it all works perfectly for the tone the film is attempting to set. The use of color, specifically neons, creates a constant feeling that you are traveling through some sort of weird ghost world, which I really like. Overall, it's a very well put together film with flashes of brilliance.

15. the night is short, walk on girl (2017): what an absolutely magical adventure of a film. Essentially this is a heavily episodic look at a night in the lives of several people, centered on a woman and a man as she gleefully floats from event to event while he neurotically obsesses over how to "coincidentally" talk to her. The storytelling is incredible; while the overarching narrative is simple there are countless threads woven together to connect everyone in the story to each other. That in itself is a big theme: connections between people, how everything is interrelated, and what a large impact seemingly insignificant things people do can have an impact on everyone around them.

16. coraline (2009): Coraline is the best stop motion movie ever made in my opinion. Before the film released in 2009, I read the book and was completely blown away by its creativity and story. It’s a pretty dark tale featuring many scenes of fright that work well in both a horror setting and an animated kids setting. On surface value, this film is quite horrifying, which is something I’ve always loved about it. While it does make a few minor changes to the book, it improves upon a piece of art that was already jaw-droppingly good. Coraline feels like a real little girl with some real problems. She’s selfish but likable which is something most films cannot translate well. Of course, she has a pretty awesome arc as well which brings this movie to a perfect close for her character. The other-mother is also perfectly done. She is almost exactly how I imagined her in the book and the animation on her is spookily gorgeous. There is not one dull moment in this film. It is literally a perfect piece of cinema.

17. the third wife (2019): haven’t seen a film this visually delicate in a while. Ash Mayfair works with the looming mountain surroundings to make her characters —these women, these girls— as small as possible, as isolated as possible. Uneasiest of all is the protagonist May, so young and so weighed by responsibility, her position blurs between being one of the wives and being one of the daughters. It’s an extremely bleak tale of circumstance. An old tale, certainly, but so beautifully crafted it doesn’t matter. Mayfair holds a fearful tension throughout, and it only ever shatters in the cruelest of ways.The abundance of women and display of sisterhood begin as a comfort, but horror takes over as we realize how conditional and fragile that comfort is. Even the daughters are subconsciously aware, one of them praying to the gods to grow up and become a man, shearing her hair off in naive triumph. It’s a doomed cycle of girls performing roles which are unfortunately their best option, right up until the final scene of May with her daughter, still in their mourning clothes. She, like the older wives, finally realizes they’re the same as the cattle laying on their side for too many days.

[skatingthinandice]

Tagged by @midnightanddiamonds, thank you so much! This looks like fun <3

Pick 10 ships without reading the questions.

Aethelflaed/Aldhelm (The Last Kingdom)

Michael/Thomas (Man in an Orange Shirt)

Harry/Ruth (Spooks)

Alfred/Drummond (Victoria)

Florence/Siobhan (Death in Paradise)

Leofric/Uhtred (The Last Kingdom)

Doctor/Rose (Doctor Who)

Feron/Marcheaux (The Musketeers)

Molesley/Baxter (Downton Abbey)

Jocelyn/Maggie (Broadchurch)

Questions!

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

It definitely came on gradually and happened like five years ago now, but I think the moment my heart was officially sold to them was their first scene in episode 5, the moment after Leofric removes his sword from Uhtred’s neck and they laugh and hug with relief at seeing each other again.

2. Have you ever read a fanfiction about 2?

MIAOS is one of the smallest fandoms I’m in, so there isn’t much fic out there, but I have written my own! Dear Darling took me over a year to write, but I knew I had to give Michael and Thomas their happy ending!

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr?

Unfortunately not! I wrote enough fics for Alfred/Drummond in the short space of time they were together though.

4. If 7 were to suddenly break-up today, what would your reaction be?

Doomsday is the worst thing I’ve ever watched in my life, I still bawl my eyes out to this day. So yeah, I think it’s fair to say that I can’t handle Doctor/Rose splitting up.

5. Why is 1 so important?

Gahhhh OKAY WELL, without turning this into a massive emotional essay, let’s just say that Aethelflaed deserves a kind and gentle love, and after my poor darling Erik died in s2, her relationship with Aldhelm in s3 made me realise that she could have that love again. Although they aren’t together romantically at the moment (though fingers crossed for s5!), their loyalty, trust and respect is so wonderful, and their lil moments of flirting make my life.

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Although Molesley was essentially the comic relief character in earlier series’ (and in the movie, which I’m still conflicted about), the moment Baxter arrived in the show we really saw a deeper side to his character. Their relationship is built on supporting each other and is truly beautiful, even without the romantic element.

7. Out of all of the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

Harry and Ruth’s entire relationship was pretty much built solely on chemistry and connection, cause lord knows they weren’t allowed to have anything else.

8. Out of all of your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond?

I’d have to say Michael/Thomas, cause their love story lasted over a decade and beyond, and I will never ever be over them.

9. How many times have you read/watched 8’s fandom?

Nearly twice lol, for some reason we abandoned our rewatch of The Musketeers mid-way through s2 last time, but we’re planning on rewatching again soon.

10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

I’ve shipped Doctor/Rose for the longest time, it’s been, what, fifteen years? I was about ten when I watched it, so...

11. How many times, if ever, has 2 broken up?

Michael and Thomas never really broke up in the sense that neither of them ever stopped loving each other, though they were forced to part three times (and admittedly, one of these kinda counts most as a break up).

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

Michael and Thomas were admittedly in a war and both have unbelievable and admirable reserves of strength. If they were in hiding during this apocalypse, they’d be good. In terms of fighting, Marcheaux could single-handedly take the zombies on and would do to protect Feron. I don’t really know how you’re supposed to handle a zombie apocalypse lol.

13. Did 5 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason? 

Florence and Siobhan were never canon (bc the writers are cowards) but no they would never have had to hide their relationship, their family and friends would have been so supportive!

14. Is 4 still together?

No, Alfred/Drummond are not still together, thanks to history and Daisy Goodwin.

15. Is 3 canon?

WELL, how to answer this one?! Harry and Ruth technically went for one date, then she had to leave the country for like three years and stopped Harry from confessing his love. On her return, he proposed practically out of the blue and she turned him down but they still loved each other, and THEN SHE DIED. So, they never actually said they loved each other, they were never a couple, and yet they are canon. Does that make sense?

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

Leofric/Uhtred, definitely! I love battle couples so much, and these warriors are the best (also Leofric isn’t dead so it totally holds)!

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 10’s ship?

Yes, Jocelyn herself. From what we know of their backstory, she stepped away from any relationship they could have had, and only when they meet again many long years later does she finally confess that she’s loved Maggie all this time.

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

Leofric/Uhtred, mainly because I once received a comment on one of my fics for them that literally just said “Uhtred isn’t gay. Sorry.”

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 1’s tumblr page?

There’s not enough there to spend hours in their tag lol, but I do check Aethelflaed and Aldhelm’s tag every day to see if my friend’s posted any new gifsets ahahaha, there’s pretty much only content from me and her in there atm!

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

I mean technically Florence/Siobhan isn’t canon, and Death in Paradise already sunk any chance of it happening, so...

Tagging: @estelanel, @maurice-and-music, @wildwildtarget, @explodingpringlescans and anyone else who wants to do it and has an hour spare lol

[yourmomisastrongwoman]

How Science Fiction and the Theoretical coexist Within Feminism.

My first piece of writing that I’m submitting to this blog, journal, log (what ever this collection of my thoughts and opinions should be called), is a comparison of two texts. Over the span of a couple of weeks, my First Year Seminar course was assigned to read author James Tiptree, Jr’s: “The Women Men Don’t See”, as well as a collection of writer and poet, Audre Lorde’s work. From Lorde’s essays, I decided to focus on “Poetry Is Not a Luxury” in order to think and to discuss how different themes of feminism overlap with Tiptree, Jr’s “The Women Men Don’t See”. 

The texts differ in genre - In Tiptree, Jr’s story, we’re brought along on a journey from the perspective of Don (your token, small minded, white man trope), as we read how he goes about reluctantly coexisting, let alone surviving, with three other victims (Ruth, Althea, and Esteban) through a spontaneous plane crash in Mexico. Tiptree writes an engaging story written from her take on a cis, hetero, white male perspective, that dives into the subconscious snap judgments made on women in society everyday. Lorde, on the other hand, writes a powerful essay on her feminist beliefs, more specifically how she believes that art - even more specifically - poetry, is a means of emotional communication that is too often ignored, or put on the back burner. 

In both Tiptree and Lorde’s texts, the authors explore the process of finding stability in things that are alien (literally in Tiptree’s) in relation to the #strongindependentwoman - more eloquently put: the female autonomy. One wouldn’t immediately think that these two pieces of writing are similar due to the obvious fact that, on the surface, they’re wildly different from one another. However, the two unite/communicate surprisingly cohesively. 

I was reluctant to love Alice B. Sheldon’s (more commonly known under her pen name “James Tiptree, Jr”) story, “The Women Men Don’t See”. Initially, I was slightly hesitant to read on as I, a 17 year old self identifying feminist, was caught off guard by the irritatingly familiar “mansplainy” tone in which it was written. Within the first page of Jr’s story, we get Don Fenton, our narrator’s, descriptions of female characters which include, but are not limited to: “small, plain, and neutral-colored”, as well as “I see the girl has what could be an attractive body if there was any spark at all” (1). Right off the bat we’re coming in strong with a problematic approach to merely existing with women. Don’s character doesn’t stray from comments like these throughout the story; it’s his point of view, it’s constant, and it’s annoying. (Yet, also simultaneously a little funny because the female reader understands that some people actually do think this way, and that is … ridiculous). What enables (and heightens) Don’s line of thinking, is his current situation and the equalizing of powers. Don is a white man; his privilege protects him on a daily basis. However, he’s currently just experienced a plane crash, accompanied by two women (Ruth and her daughter Althea), and their Pilot, Esteban (who is routinely referred to by Don as “The Maya”, unpacking a whole host of other problematic things). It’s clear that he can not stand the fact that all previous structures of a gender/racial social hierarchy have been stripped from the four, and now all are equal in survival mode. 

As the story continues, Don and Ruth end up leaving camp in search for fresh water. On their separate journey Don becomes increasingly annoyed that Ruth doesn’t seem to uphold a woman’s “typical characteristics”, while his thoughts regarding her become more and more sexual. “Mrs. Ruth Parsons of Bethesda, this thrumming, private woman. How crazy can I get? … I blink away the fantasies and see a scared little woman in a mangrove swamp … she sits obediently, like a kid in a dentist chair … she nibbles her lip” (16). 

The culmination of Tiptree’s story ends with literal Aliens arriving at Ruth and Don’s camp. Within the alien’s presence, Ruth’s instinct reaction is to empathize with the agitated creatures, while Don’s instinct reaction is conquer them (colonialism at its finest). 

NOW HOW DOES ALL OF THIS CONNECT TO THE WONDERFUL AUDRE LORDE, AND HER INCREDIBLE ESSAY ON HOW ART IS A MEANS OF ENHANCING OUR WOMANHOOD? Well, I’m so happy this finally got brought up! Lorde spends “Poetry is Not a Luxury” detailing how by devoting time and energy into poetry, the woman equips herself with a multiplicity of tools, helping her dismantle the patriarchy that affects her everyday. 

One of the biggest ways in which Lorde and Tiptree’s texts overlap, are the overarching themes of devoting oneself to something alien in order to distract. Lorde writes: “As we become more in touch with our own ancient, black, non european view of living … we learn more and more to cherish our feelings, and to respect those hidden sources of our power from where true knowledge and therefore lasting action comes” (1). This quote exists in harmony when paired with the culmination of “The Women Men Don’t See”. Ruth’s character doesn’t reach to find her “ancient, non european” roots, however, she does reach - metaphorically - and ends up exhibiting her inherent character values which include empathy. Ruth’s been so caged by Don’s male presence, when the aliens arrive it’s clear that she prefers the company from strange, extraterrestrial beings, to the white man. “‘Ruth, get over here behind me!’ She doesn’t look at me, only keeps sidling farther away. My terror detonates into anger. ‘Come back here!’ … she doesn’t turn but straightens up warily, still hugging the thing … is she actually trying to talk to them? ‘Please…’she swallows. ‘Please speak to me. I need your help’” (23). Through the natural act of empathy, Ruth is able to easily connect with the creatures through “the hidden sources of power from where true knowledge and … lasting action comes” (to quote Lorde). 

Another connection between Lorde and Tiptree’s texts are the effects of power on women, and how we survive experiencing them everyday in society. Lorde writes: “As we learn to bear the intimacy of scrutiny, and to flourish within it, as we learn to use the products of that scrutiny for power within our living, those fears which rule our lives and form our silences begin to lose their control over us” (Lorde, 1). We know as women, that even though Don in “The Women Men Don’t See”, never flat out says the diminutive things that he thinks about Ruth, and frankly, women in general, it’s clear that his demeanor and overall (and I’m putting this in what I feel is best described as) “aggressive manly man white male trope’s” presence, has an effect on Ruth that she’s all too familiar with. It’s obvious that if this story was written from the perspective of Ruth, or truthfully any woman, his mannerisms would be picked up on immediately, and we would have insight on why Ruth’s character acts the way she acts. We, the female reader understand her soft, non intrusive demeanor, because everyone of us has experienced the looming presence and energy of an overly confident, stubborn, male. We sympathize with Ruth’s thoughtfulness, and end up relating to the strength that she displays by the end of the story. Lorde’s words perfectly summarize the way in which women (in this case Ruth), become accustomed to the sexist and demeaning language, portrayed through tone and energy. However, through patronization Ruth flourishes, creating bonds with the creatures, as well as ultimately escaping with her daughter to another universe. As Lorde promotes, Ruth literally devotes herself to an alien idea to distract herself from the white patriarchy, and only until she does that, she becomes free.

Through Lorde’s theoretical, and James Tiptree Jr’s sci-fi/fictional texts, we as women can learn, as well as relate to the ideas and the strategies that these authors spell out for us. Tiptree paints a character that every one of us, in one way or another, is familiar with. While Lorde stresses the importance of experiencing as well as identifying emotions along with what enables them. Both are thought provoking works that every woman is able to absorb and connect with. 

[chut-je-dors]

Sorry but I don't think you can say you're trying to "contribute" to making the mclennon fandom "more equal" with the way half your fics portray paul thistring after john's dick and making him be sub in all your fics and I hear people say how good the hor mechanic is but I think paul is just super annoying, not realistic at all and I'm sorry I don't understand how that fic became so popular in the first place or how your contributing to this fandom

You know what, I usually delete all this kind of asks after the whole hysteric!Paul controversy took place, ‘cos my patience was just running out and I was simply getting tired of it, but I actually want to answer this time, and will do so thoroughly. So beware, a LONG post coming through.

I’d like to begin with the claim that half of my fics portray Paul as the “bottom” one. First of all, I’d like to clarify that for me, it doesn’t matter who bottoms and who tops — the important thing is whether the relationship between the two men is equal, and that equality has nothing to do with who bottoms. One of them has to, if they were to do anal sex. It is true that in most of my fics, Paul has been the one to bottom, but that doesn’t mean he’s beneath John in any other way than just physically, literally lying under him.

There is a lot in this whole thing that people don’t really get:

First of all, you need to understand what kind of a place our fandom was when I was first starting as a reader. Most of the fics featured Paul as the bottom one, but John as the emotional drive in the stories. I’ve lost count of the oneshots I read back then that had John pining after Paul, and there didn’t seem to be any corresponding fics where Paul was the one desperately pining for John. Their relationship didn’t seem equal; Paul was too soft, John was too hard. Paul was the romantical one, John couldn’t have cared less. Paul was a stuck-up nun, John was a reckless arsehole without any regard for others feelings.

I started reading fics in 2009 at the age of 13, and two-three years later I was writing my first fic ThighGHGHGHGS. This was both an outlet for my personal frustration over John’s thighs (man was I high on hormones at 15), a desire to write something that would make other people laugh, and an attempt to do something that was often less seen; Paul pining over John.

After that, there were a couple of smaller fics that I won’t be discussing here, meant as crack fics and never to be taken seriously. (What 1 being my personal favourite.) The big needle in the wound for everyone seems to be the Hot Mechanic and the Hot Series in general, so let me tell you about that fic:

In 2012-2013 the steady stream of new fics on JohnHeartPaul seemed to be dying down. There were maybe one or two multichapter fics being published, new chapters appearing every now and then, and the place seemed to be dying down. At that point the JP-archive stopped being updated. I was 15, going on 16, and growing increasingly frustrated with the lack of good new fics in the fandom (at that point I’d read the whole archive through like, twice). I started roaming over to the Merlin fandom and was blown away by the amount of good fics that incorporated the characters into all sorts of AUs seamlessly. I especially loved the modern AUs, and felt that that was missing from our fandom. At this point (in 2013) there were about two or three Modern AU fics in the fandom, and all of them were oneshots! We simply had no multichapter modern AU fics.

I decided to simply continue on the same policy I’d previously had with ThighGHGHGHS; I wanted to bring something new into the fandom. (Note: I don’t want to sound egoistical in this essay — the reason why I haven’t explained this before now is because I am a very, very modest person, and I have a problem in taking credit and compliments over something that I don’t feel was such a big deal. But these are things that I’ve heard from other people over the years, and as such I feel safe saying them, even though I’m still battling to accept the high praise.)

So why is The Hot Mechanic so popular? Because it is the first long, plot-driven modern AU in this fandom.

I wanted to do it as a crack fic, because I love humour. I wrote a fic that made me laugh, and I never expected it to become a thing that’s still going on. But because it’s a crack fic, it brought a few changes into the characters. They don’t react like normal people do. Hell, George isn’t a normal person. Ringo is the closest one we get to a normal person in that fic, and Paul literally walked in on him fucking his cousin! They’re all completely out of their heads, and it’s made for the laughs. Since it is a deliberate crack fic that isn’t even trying to make the characters look real (think of it as a really long Monty Python sketch), and since I literally wrote it SIX YEARS AGO, I don’t think it is fair to continuously keep on using that fic against me as a proof of how I “always” write Paul and John.

The following parts to the Hot Series have followed the same pattern as the first part, because, y’know, continuity. You can’t change a character just like that in the middle of the story without an explanation, and since the lads’ characters were well-established in the first part of the series, I had to keep it up. And I wouldn’t have changed it either, because writing them was, and is, genuinely fun, and that’s what matters.

What’s important is also the fact that Paul and John’s relationship is equal. They are both loving towards each other, showing affection openly. John is pining after Paul at work, dreaming about the moment he gets back to Paul on a regular basis, and Paul often reacts to this with fond humour. They laugh at each other’s jokes, walk out hand-in-hand, are equal when it comes to sex — they decide together what they want, standing constantly on equal ground. That sort of an open, fluffy relationship was kinda new as well, mainly due to the fact that this fic takes place in the modern day; they are allowed to be together.

I wrote the Hot Mechanic with a conscious wish of people copying it, taking my lead and jumping into the world of AUs. I hoped that people would get inspired by my first futile attempt at a modern AU, and bring more of them into the fandom. In the end I don’t know how much of an impact the HM had on the authors in general, but some sort of a switch has happened in any case, since in these days we’re gloriously swimming in Modern AUs.

In 2015 I wrote the Vomiting Adventure. I can’t remember if there was any particular reason, other than that I had probably been ill, and wanted to write a fic to commiserate with my subconsciousness. (And those who complain about the hysteric!Paul never seem to mention it at all. Maybe because it doesn’t fit the profile?)

The same year I wrote Hate Is Such A Strong Word. That fic was... never intended to be what it is today. It started as deep, thoughtful few sentences, and then suddenly Paul was tied to the bed, and ??? It suddenly became a try on how to write smut, since I had no real experience in it. It was also a crack fic, and as such I ask you to look at it like at the HM: As nothing meant to be realistic. It was not planned, and Paul bottoming didn’t hold much meaning. It was my first smut, and someone needed to bottom. And Paul was already tied to the bed, which was convenient.

When you look at my fics, you’ll see that most of them are in fact meant as a light, fun reading experience. They are crack fics. The only clear exceptions are This Is Not Them, and Ten Minutes.

This Is Not Them came from that old damned desire to once again do something new, but this time something new for me, since all I had ever done was write crack fics. I wanted to challenge myself and write a fic in a completely different style and tone, I wanted to show people I could do other stuff as well. This fic has Paul bottoming at the beginning when he’s with John, because wordless agreements between characters about who tops and who bottoms? Y’know how those work -- but he tops with other people. He is depressed. Sex is his only way of feeling something, which is explained in the fic (meaning that he is not a slut, but feels conflicted because he feels like one, but doesn’t want to, and doesn’t know who he is anymore). And John has his own depression to fight against, and here, Paul bottoming is kind of a plot point... uh, like a small dot in a bigger plot point about who John is and Why Is He Like That? I don’t want to spoil the fic for those who haven’t read it yet, but; there isn’t a sentence written in that fic that doesn’t have a meaning behind it. Paul doesn’t bottom for the reader: he bottoms because John won’t, due to the man’s ghosts from the past.

What underlines my work is that I always want to do something no one else has ever done before, or has never done properly. I have decided not to delete my older work, because I know people enjoy those fics, and I hope people wouldn’t judge how I write now based on those 6-year old works. The fics that I’ve been working on within this past year are This Is Not Them, Ten Minutes, and 5 Thomas Lane. Read those fics, and tell me whether you see a sign of the “feminine and girlish” Paul. (or don’t read them, ‘cos they’re really long... like so many words..... god)

I can say that personally I’ve never liked the fics where Paul was made out to be the crying princess, just based on his looks. The fandom tended to do that (as they often do for “pretty” characters), and I wanted John and Paul to be equal. They are equal in banter, equal in feelings, and yes, equal in bed as well in the way that it matters: mentally. (Except for This Is Not Them, but that is a plot point)

I highly encourage you to take a look at my fic page, where you can see all the fics I’ve written at a glance! It really sounds like you haven’t read most of them, so do give them a go!

As a response to your thoughts that I have not contributed to this fandom at all — I’m sure you’re aware of the JP-Library by now. At least I hope so! Here is how all that happened:

As I mentioned before, in 2013 the fandom seemed to be dying down. 2014-2016 continued in the same way, with everyone having sort of scattered around after JohnHeartPaul had gone quiet. Tumblr isn’t the best place to keep your whole community in, since it doesn’t offer any possibility for good fandom discussion. AO3 was slowly gaining foot in the fandom, and new fics started to appear little by little — AUs to my delight, although even as recently as in 2016 there just didn’t seem to be any new ground-shaking fics. Overall the whole place seemed to be dying down, and I was feeling desperate, because this fandom had been my home for years by then.

4th of January 2017 I had a thought that if no one else was going to do anything, I was the one that had to. Here is a quote from messages I sent that day to one friend after bringing up the idea of a new, updated JP-archive:

CJD, [04.01.17 23:43]I just kinda wanna keep the jp fandom alive

CJD, [04.01.17 23:43]cos I’ve been watching it go down for years :/

This was my core motivation from the start. I collected all the fics from the JP-archive, went through them to sort out the broken links, and started adding AO3 fics into the mix. A month after the idea of doing this had surfaced, I published the site, and have been updating it ever since. Soon after that I took over @mclennonrecs​.

I have been told by several different people that “you’re the one who’s keeping this fandom alive” or “you revived the whole fandom”. I’m not... sure if I agree, but it does however give a picture of what at least a one group of people think of my contributions to this fandom, and I’m glad to think that I’ve managed to make at least a small difference.

Truthfully I find it quite offensive that you would question my involvement in our fandom after all the work I’ve put into the Library and Mclennonrecs. I won’t say anything else on the matter, but I hope you take your time reading through my answer and considering what I’ve said.

I am always ready to receive criticism about my writing and the work I do, as long as it is given constructively. I do hope people would stop hounding writers for writing stories with bottom!Paul. It is discouraging to new authors and tiring to the old ones. I’ve always loved how people of all ages can unite over our love for John and Paul without judging anyone, so let’s not start creating unnecessary tension now.

Learn to see the fandom through its rich history, and don’t judge people without knowing their motivations. Please spread love instead of hate. Thank you! :)

[starchild--27]

85 questions

I was tagged by @kafkascupcake .  This will be fun, so thanks ^^

rules: answer 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

last

1. drink – water with lemon flavour

2. phone call - my hair dresser (if i ignore the fact that i accidently called my dad a few momnets ago when i wanted to look up my last phone call - ofc this had to happen xD)

3. text message - i told some kid from my spanish class tht we didn’t have spanish class last week

4. song you listened to – Californiacation by Red Hot Chili Peppers

5. time you cried - three days ago i think, but i waas at the verge of crying yesterday evening  

6. dated someone twice? – nope. i never dated anyone 

7. kissed someone and regretted it – nope

8. been cheated on – no

9. lost someone special – i’m so grateful to say that i never lost anyone in my life and i am so afraid of the day this will happen to me

10. been depressed - kind of. i have my depressed moments but everyone has at some point

11. gotten drunk and thrown up – never, i’m not drinking much 

fave colours

12. navy blue

13. black

14. metallic shades of basically every colour

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends – i’m always careful with the word friend when it comes to my real life, but let’s say i got to know some people better that have been around for a longer time but i never really interacted with. on the internet things are a little different, so i can say i’ve interacted with a lot of people here and i can’t help but treat them as friends 

16. fallen out of love – not in the last year

17. laughed until you cried - multiple times xD

18. found out someone was talking about you – i really don’t know and i hate that i can’t say this wouldn’t bother me because i really want to know what people think of me - just to be able to understand why they treat me how they do. 

19. met someone who changed you - oh, i really don’t know. i think i didn’t change that much in the last 365 days

20. found out who your friends are – it was a little more than a year ago, but yes i did.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook friends list – i don’t even have facebook

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl – since i don’t have facebook i’ll do this for instagram and there it is probably a minority since i follow countless art pages, celebrities, fanpages, animal pages, political pages, people i don’t know in real life, …

23. do you have any pets - yes - a black cat with the name Black Pearl, which we gave him before i even knew about the song by EXO ^^ his name referred to the ship from Pirates of the Carribbean first xD

24. do you want to change your name – i did in the past, because my name is very rare where i live. but i started to like it after some time. the great thing is that it’s meaning differs since no one really knows it’s true origin. 

25. what did you do for your last birthday - i invited my two best friends but one happened to be sick at that day (ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ) so we were only two but it was great anyway. since i was born the day after walpurgis night we went to the bonfire and spent some time there

26. what time did you wake up today – 7 am but i slept in again and got at 11:20 

27. what were you doing at midnight last night – reading or sleeping, i don’t know for sure

28. what is something you can’t wait for – vacation with my family and the summer holidays in general (school was … much in the last weeks.)

30. what are you listening to right now – the sound of me slamming my fingers on my laptop’s keyboard while writing this lol

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom – i did, in fact to more than one

32. something that gets on your nerves – that i have to go to school for one more year (i hate this place wholeheartedly) but i don’t know what to do with my life after graduating 

33. most visited website - tumblr and youtube

34. hair color – my natural hair colour is brown but i dye it ginger red and i love it

35. long or short hair – pretty long actually, but i have curls so it’s pretty hard to notice how long 

36. do you have a crush on someone -  if we ignore my celebrity crushes then … i don’t know…probably no. i’m not sure about this one boy though but…yeah, i don’t really know him that well and i probably only like the idea i have of how he could be. (this is btw so typical for me xD)

37. what do you like about yourself – don’t get me wrong, i know it sounds tragical and sad, but i don’t have something i like 100% about myself. i am used to it though because i’ve been this way since forever, having high standards for me (and for others probably too, which is very unfair from me) but the closest to 100% is my talent for music.     

38. want any piercings? – only at my ears

39. blood type – A positive

40. nicknames – the most common nickname for my name is Selmi but hardly anyone except for my mom and my sister calls me like that anymore. other than that i have the feeling my friends and i don’t have nicknames but more like pet names for each other. like, i was called “Flauschebausch” (in english “Fluffpuff”) not that long ago (it referred to my hair). i would also count “squirrel”, “the stars” and all that stuff as nicknames but we don’t really call each other often like that in person xD     

41. relationship status - single 

42. zodiac - Taurus (but most of the stuff people say about tauruses are not 100% true for me)

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows – lately i finished Game Of Thrones and i liked it so damn much, especially the ending (i really don’t get why it was so hated, but i’ll not explain further - i don’t want to write an essay here xD). i also enjoy watching Gilmore Girls from time to time, but hardly anyone in my generation knows it. and since i read it at @kafkascupcake ‘s post for this tag i just remembered how much i liked Memories of the Alhambra too (gosh, how i waited for every episode to air … i still remember this impatient feeling so well)

45. tattoos – i’m not allowed to have any yet but i’m thinking about getting smaller ones later since i think tattoos are pretty. buuuuut i’m also afraid because i can’t really imagine the pain

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery – yeah. unspectecular story tho.

48. piercings - only earrings but one of my friends and i plan on getting helix piercings soon (originally this was planned to be done before last christmas but we never found time)

49. sport – no no no no no. i hate it. i always did. i did some horse riding in my childhood but that’s it. i’m just not able to coordinate my body so a fail at basically every kind of sport. and i am easily frustrated when i fail at something so i never really tried to ace sports.  

50. vacation – my last vacation was when i visited Berlin with my two best friends and m next vacation will be in Denmark with my family

51. trainers – Converse Chucks, always and forever

more general

52. eating – i used to be a very picky eater but it gets better with every year. lately i really like spicy food. but i also have a terrible sweet tooth. i am surprised how i am still like super slim …

53. drinking – a trait i inherited from my dad: i love milk. but i also like juices, tea, coffee (with milk ofc xD) and plain water too

54. i’m about to watch – Avengers Endgame. like today. in 2 hrs.

55. waiting for – my train ride to the next bigger city for seeing endgame. and for me getting an idea what i want to do with my life

56. want – to travel and to make music. my two passions

57. get married – i don’t think it’s necessary for a happy relationship but it depends on the person. to be honest, i like the thought of getting married but i totally understand if someone doesn’t like it.

58. career – the biggest question mark in my life rn

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs. i can’t even explain why. but hugs.

60. lips or eyes - i thinj i look at the eyes first. but i am damned if a person has beautiful lips too

61. shorter or taller – taller

62. older or younger - not important

63. nice arms or stomach – yeah ofc stomachs are great. but let’s be real here: i’m a swooning bitch for nice arms.

64. hookup or relationship – relationship. i am a hopeless romantic

65. troublemaker or hesitant - i am an overthinker, which makes me the epitome of hesitant.

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger – never kissed anyone lol

67. drank hard liquor – only mixed with juice

68. lost glasses - yeah. wasn’t cool.bc without glasses i am literally blind

69. turned someone down - kind of.

70. sex on first date - no

71. broken someone’s heart – i hope not.

72. had your heart broken – yip. my first heavy crush was not that happy. but i am over it since the guy was and still is a jerk and i don’t even know why i fell for him anymore

73. been arrested - no

74. cried when someone died - yes

75. fallen for a friend – never

do you believe in

76. yourself – depends on the situation.

77. miracles - there are moments in which i do

78. love at first sight - yes

79. santa claus -  no

80. kiss on a first date – yeah.. i think itmight happen xD

81. angels - who knows? it would be great though.

other

82. best friend’s name - deer of the sun @swiftfeatherscorner and cat of the moon @fille-de-janvier xD i don’t know if they’d like to have their real names published here but here you ahve their tumblrs

83. eye color - i looked it up someday and it’s called glasz - a strange mix between green, blue and grey with some golden dots and marks. depends on the lightning which colour is stronger.

84. fave movie – impossible to tell.

85. fave actor – also impossible to tell. there are so many good actors in this world

i’m not even sure if 20 people will read this so i’ll just tag everyone who has time to answer 85 questions xD

[helenpowers]

Tattoos and Tiramisu Playlist

Listen Here: https://open.spotify.com/user/22cp3xuocmvlx7uqh7zok5r4a/playlist/1pzXVV0oDdjQXiGnx5simB?si=fXi73MbHTvi_m6_od-uA4A

Want to know what the songs have to do with the story? I’ve basically written an essay. Enjoy.

1.Geronimo by Sheppard

This song is super upbeat and fun to listen to. I feel like it is a relatively accurate depiction of James and Brooke’s relationship, but put into really simple terms. Things happen faster than either of them is used to (although not so quickly that it makes either of them uncomfortable. They both just accept that this is what they’re feeling and dive head first into it, although Brooke tends to have her doubts. This is usually the first song that plays when I start my playlist and it’s the one that gets me pumped to write.

2.  Be Somebody by Thousand Foot Krutch

This song is like James’ theme song. Whenever I write a scene that is particularly James heavy, I play this song to get me into the right mindset to portray him properly. I feel like it explains a lot of how he feels about Brooke as well. She brings out the best in him, and he wants nothing but to bring out the best in her as well. He feels a little bit trapped by his reputation, but also holds it close to him. It’s his natural defense from keeping people from getting too close or learning too much about him. He likes keeping his life private when possible.

3. Secrets by OneRepublic

I actually have a couple of songs from OneRepublic on the playlist for this novel. I love their music and a lot of their songs seem to fit different parts of the story. Secrets, in particular, fits the fact that Brooke and James both have things that they tend to keep to themselves. In fact, the only people outside of their families who really know about those things are each other. They begin to trust each other a lot throughout the course of the book and eventually they allow each other to see those parts of themselves that no one else gets to see.

4. Your Love Song by TJ Kingston

This is probably one of the only songs where the lyrics don’t necessarily fit the book (aside from the chorus). However, the general vibe of the song is very relaxing and has a very sincere sound to it. I imagine that it is how James sounds when he is trying to comfort Brooke. I love it.

5. The Night We Met by Lord Huron

This song is less about the main story and more about one that isn’t fully told within the pages of the book. This is the story of Brooke’s father and her mother, as told from her father’s point of view. They were young and their romance was passionate but short-lived. He thinks back to the early days of their relationship often and misses her. He never stopped being in love with her.

6. Song 6 by George Ezra

This is another one where the lyrics don’t necessarily fit the novel, or even one of the characters specifically. It just gives me such a romantic notion of dreaming about that one person you are missing more than anyone else.

7. I’m Yours by Jason Mraz

Brooke has a hard time believing that James could have feelings for her, but he does, and he’s willing to show her that he does. This song is him, convincing Brooke.

8. Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers

James is kind and courteous. He understands Brooke’s eccentricities and her anxieties. He’s perfectly happy with their ordinary relationship. He’s not looking for something crazy and over the top romantic. Brooke feels unbelievably lucky to have someone like James be willing to learn about her and help her in any way he can. She’s happy with what they’ve got going on, and so pleased that James doesn’t ask for more out of her, and that he doesn’t try to be her hero or try to make her better.

9. Closer by The Chainsmokers

James and Brooke each have a reputation that precedes them around the school. While this song doesn’t necessarily get both of them right, it does give the right impression. Plus, by the time the two of them get together, things just seem to… happen. It’s their last year of high school after all, and they might not have time after this.

10. Shape of You by Ed Sheeran

In all honesty, this doesn’t really fit the relationship in this book at all. What it does do, however, is get me in the mood to write. This song was a lot of my motivation while writing/revising this book, and I never had the heart to take it off the playlist. It’s a bop, and both James and Brooke would have fun listening to it and dancing around.

11. Wish I Knew You by The Revivalists

If James and Brooke had been pushed together at a younger age, their lives would have been very different and they would have been very different people. They help each other in a lot of ways, and this song just captures that idea of wishing that they could have become these people sooner.

12. Heavy by Linkin Park

This song is Brooke. This is her anxiety and how it can take over her life. Her OCD being a monster in the back of her head. Most of the time, it’s not so bad, but when it takes over, it really takes over. It consumes her in a way that she hates and wishes that she could change, even though she knows that can’t ever really happen. This song is the embodiment of that feeling when your heart feels heavy in your chest because everything is going wrong.

13. When They Come for Me by Linkin Park

James has an ongoing battle with his reputation. He holds it close to his chest and tends to use it as a defense mechanism. The first verse of this song really captures that feeling.

14. Good Intent by Kimbra

I have a lot of songs that make me think about reputations for this book (ironically, none of them are from Taylor Swift’s Reputation album). James has friends who get into a lot of trouble, and he doesn’t do anything to stop them. He just helps them out of their tough spots when he needs to.

15. She’s Always a Woman by Billy Joel

Back when I was just starting to write this book, I went to my friends and asked them for songs that they think are super romantic. A good friend of mine brought this up as the song he thinks is genuinely one of the most romantic songs in existence. It stuck around while I was writing, and slowly became a bit of an anthem for how James thinks about Brooke. She has a lot of problems, but she’s always a woman.

16. My Type by Saint Motel

James famously hooked up with someone at a party once, and the reputation as a player has followed him around ever since. This song perfectly shows how everyone else sees his romantic endeavors.

17. Puzzle Pieces by Saint Motel

We’re puzzle pieces that don’t fit together. Brooke and James come from very different walks of life. They shouldn’t fit together, but they do.

18. My Silver Lining by First Aid Kit

Brooke has one thing that she’s been working towards for her entire life. Anything that can take that away from her scares her. However, the important thing that she knows about working towards goals is that there’s only one thing you can really do: keep on keeping on.

19. Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Swede

This is one of my favorite songs of all time. It’s fun and happy. James and Brooke are hooked on the feeling of having someone understand them. Plus this song is so fun it’s practically impossible to sit still while it’s playing.

20. Middle Fingers by MISSIO

Brooke and James don’t necessarily fall into the idea of a “normal person” that is set forth by society, but neither of them really care. Stick your middle fingers to the world and keep living your best life.

21. Fuckin’ Perfect by P!nk

I remember when this song came out and crying while watching the music video. It’s an incredibly sad song with an important message. You don’t have to be perfect for the world. Brooke’s ultimate downfall is that she wants to be perfect. She wants to live her version of the perfect life, and that’s just too stressful.

22. Romantic by Stanaj

Brooke and James are not typically romantic people. They don’t go out of their way to make grand romantic gestures for people. But when they’re together, something changes. They want to be romantic for each other. They want to have that Hollywood notion of love that seems so impossible.

23. Invisible by Linkin Park

This song has been on this playlist since the beginning. The first time I heard it, I knew that it needed to be baked into the story I was telling. Brooke has always felt invisible, beyond her reputation of being bossy and annoying. James doesn’t want her to ever feel that way again.

24. Starving by Hailee Steinfeld

I didn’t know that I was starving until I tasted you. Brooke didn’t know exactly how much she wanted to be noticed. How much she craved someone else’s attention and affection. Then James gave it to her and she became a bit addicted.

25. Moonlight by Grace Vanderwaal

The feeling of first love.

26. Sweat by All American Rejects

Honestly this song makes it seem like things are going to get a lot raunchier than they are. But James and Brooke have an effect on each other that they can’t seem to shake. They have the ability to make each other’s hearts race.

27. Rain by The Script

When you’re gone, all it does is rain. Heart break and grief. The seemingly impossible need to get back together.

28. Something I Need by OneRepublic

If you only live once, I want to live with you. The last line of this song is everything.

29. BLK CLD by XYLØ

This song was a much later addition to the playlist, but it made me think about the characters SO MUCH. This entire thing could be Brooke just… talking. Listening to this will give you a very good idea of who she is as a person.

[belizedeservesbetter]

Angels in America is Absolutely Perfect In Every Way

This play leaves me so speechless how am I supposed to write a review of it? 

Oh boy. 

What can I say that hasn’t already been said? 

I keep putting off writing and posting this review because whenever I feel like I’m ready to say something coherent about it, I get completely bowled over how amazing it was. This playbill pic was the first time I saw Millennium Approaches, and I’ve seen it two more times now (thanks cheap lotto tickets) and I’m still so awestruck by it. I already know I’m gonna forget to write about half the things I wanna talk about. 

The play itself is obviously amazing. We all know this. It isn’t called one of the best plays ever for nothing. It’s amazing and complex and detailed and every time I reread it I get something completely new from it. 

Every character is so well-rounded and so perfectly written. They feel like real, flawed people. Every character has their vices and virtues and things that make them tick and things that make them happy and sad and angry and frustrated. All of these characters feel love so deeply to the point it’s crippling. 

I could literally talk forever just about the play itself so I’m gonna put that aside because we know it’s amazing and go straight into this specific revival.

The Short Version: Holy shit this is the best thing I have ever seen ever. 

Long Version: 

Literally every aspect of this production is impeccable. 

Can we talk about how Marianne Elliott took the HUGE themes of decay and destruction and literally built the world around that? The way the set in Millennium Approaches slowly backs away and practically abandons its characters?? The way Perestroika is literally set in the void until the very last scene?? How at the top of Perestroika Harper’s scream of pain literally blew away the remains of the set? My mind was blown. I love Marianne Elliott and The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time is one of my favorite shows of all time (next to Angels, actually) so I knew she would do an incredible job with it but I didn’t know it’d be that good. 

The way she has imagined The Angel is literally stunning. Everyone in the audience was expecting the Angel to crash into the ceiling and be this beautiful magnificent being all in white, but she did the exact opposite of that. I will never be able to get the image out of my mind of the Angel shadows lifting her up and  carrying her over to Prior. She is literally the embodiment of spiritual decay and it was so incredible to see. 

Andrew Garfield as Prior Walter is literally sensational. SENSATIONAL. He brings such a deep strength and pain to Prior and this fear and heartbreak and rage that is so beautiful to watch. His Prior really does emphasize how absolutely devastated he is that Louis left him. I really think his Prior is grounded in love, in love for Louis and love for Belize and eventually love for Hannah but it’s when he realizes that he doesn’t want to die and wants more life and demands it from heaven that he truly becomes the best version of himself, which is stunning to see. Garfield’s “more life” monologue makes me tear up just thinking about it for too long. He’s baring his whole soul out on stage each night and I don’t think I’ve ever been so moved by a performance before. 

Louis is my favorite character and James McArdle did not disappoint. He was absolutely exceptional in every way and was perhaps my favorite of the cast. He brings so much to the character. Like Garfield, he brings so much vulnerability to the role, and this all consuming guilt and self-loathing and rage. His Perestroika monologue to Belize when they’re at the fountain in the middle of the play was incredible. It’s hard to articulate my thoughts on him and Louis because so much of his greatness is the small things he does and reacts and the small ways Louis grows and changes throughout the play, which McArdle was amazing in doing. 

Denise Gough is just as good as everyone says she is and more. She’s extraordinary as Harper and makes you laugh and ache until her final monologue, where she makes you weep. 

Nathan Lane. ‘Nuff said. 

I am already going on too long so I can’t talk about everyone in depth so here we go, speed round version. Nathan Stewart-Jarrett is incredible as Belize. He owned the stage every second he was on it, and, likewise, his scene describing heaven to Roy brought tears to my eyes. Susan Brown is excellent as Hannah/others and I love her more and more each time I see it. Lee Pace is fantastic. His “Why are you hurting me?! I love you!” literally breaks my heart. Amanda Lawrence and Beth Malone are both absolutely exquisite as the Angel.

Everything about this show was perfect in every way. 

I’ll never stop talking about how amazing this production was, and I’ll never be able to say enough about it either. This is a play that was really important to me when I was just beginning to find myself and find who I wanted to be and is still incredibly important to me now. For my play survey class in college I literally wrote a 16 page essay on it. I’m on my college’s radio station and literally talked about it for ten straight minutes. This is a play that means so much to me and I’m ecstatic that it’s going to mean so much to so many people now that it’s back on Broadway. 

Here’s what everyone else said and I basically agree with all the rave reviews EXCEPT The New York Times didn’t love Lee Pace but I did 

https://www.amny.com/entertainment/angels-in-america-review-1.17670742 

https://www.newsday.com/entertainment/theater/angels-in-america-review-1.17627439

Time Out New York

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/25/theater/angels-in-america-review-nathan-lane-andrew-garfield.html

And I can’t find Sara Holdren’s review for The Vulture but I love her and she loved it too 

[ojamayellow]

Bastion/Misawa and/or Alexis/Asuka and/or The Chazzz :3c ?

OR ALL THREE!

Why I like them/why I don’t

Okay Asuka? Not only was she one of my gay awakenings as a teen, but also she’s just so flawless. Her skills in Ritual and Fusion Summoning, the fact that she doesn’t take bullshit, absolutely stunning. 

What I like about their appearance

I...tend to like blondes for some reason? Also, as I mentioned before, gay awakening. And her appearance is so simple, yet so stylish? I also like how her hair is similar to her brothers in terms of style, not colour, so you can tell their related without wacky anime styles.

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?

Both! Grew up with dub, rewatched sub later on...Both are very pretty names.

OTP

You’re all gonna hate me for this: ASUKA X MANJOUME. I shipped it as a kid, and I ship it now. However, I do also like her with Momoe and Junko/Mindy and Jasmine, and Misawa from the manga!

NOTP

Asuka and...Rei? She’s too young...Oh and Asuka and Ryo because, how I see it, Ryo was acting as a big bro for Asuka when Fubuki disappeared. But that’s how I saw it.

OT3

ASUKA X MANJOUME X MISAWA. Listen, I’m gay.

Favourite card they use

I HATE IT when it’s used against me in Duel Links, but Cyber Lady Benten! Oh, and Etoile Cyber!

Favourite moment they were in

Every second of her on screen. 

Least favourite moment

You know, whenever she was a damsel in distress, which happened a few times. Also White!Asuka was badass but, made me sad.

Would I fuck, marry or kill them

Given as she’s a teenager and I’m 21, neither. 

Misawa and Manjoume under the cut!! [So I don’t clog the dash.]

Misawa!

Why I like them/why I don’t

The forgotten nerd...Those who forget him with feel my wrath!...Who was I talking about again? Anyway, Misawa? Lovable nerd. He’s respectable yet cunning and cocky, so I don’t know why the writers decided that his rivalry with Judai or his decks or his character was not important anymore! Also, he has a nice voice.

What I like about their appearance

It’s not everyday you see a fifteen (?) year old with buff abs and sideburns. (Random but his Japanese VA? When I saw him in a video about Duel Links I was fanning myself, his seiyuu is so attractive.)

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?

Again, both. I’m attached to the name Bastion, as it really fits his (dub) British accent. I HC him being English and Japanese, no matter which canon I look at!

OTP

Misawa and Manjoume...It’s still very special in my heart.

NOTP

Misawa and Tania. :( Sorry, I just only see them as best friends, and I heavily ship Tania with Camula.

OT3

Misawa, Manjoume and JUDAI! 

Favourite card they use

WATERRR DRAGOOOOON. Actually, probably Hydrogeddon. It’s so cute!

Favourite moment they were in

Baseball.

Least favourite moment

When he was written off.

Would I fuck, marry or kill them NO

MANJOUME SANDA TIME!!!!!! CHAZZ IT UP!!!!!!!!!!

Why I like them/why I don’t

Listen, I could write a ten-page essay on why I love Manjoume. I loved him ever since I saw him on screen as a child, and he definitely grew on me, which shows. He’s cocky, he’s dorky. A goofball with a heart of gold, with sarcasm to spare. We both face similar issues: Inferiority. We want to be the best, we can’t let our family down. Manjoume has amazing character development from an arrogant zero to a respectable duelist.

What I like about their appearance

Black and purple? Pure aesthetic. But...how can he see with so much hair? How does it work? Which side is it all on? Also, badass (but stinky) coat.

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?

Manjoume Thunder, nothing beats that. Though The Chazz is almost as good.

OTP

Valentineshipping. But also Manjoume and Judai, don’t tell.

NOTP

Manjoume and...well, Fubuki. Fubuki is older by a few years, he’s the same age as Kaiser. And as Manjoume crushes on Asuka, he sees Fubuki as a brother-in-law, so anything romantic between them kinda...weirds me out? It is no doubt though, that Manjoume has defs crushed on Fubuki.

OT3

The same OT3′s I mentioned above.

Favourite card they use

ARMED DRAGON! LV10!!! Actually, Ojama Yellow. 

Favourite moment they were in

His fuckin comeback? Where he lost to Judai in the inter-school duel but still showed everyone that he’s back, reborn with new morals? It was brilliant! 

Least favourite moment

Anything with White!Chazz or Duel-Ghoul!Chazz. Gremlin.

Would I fuck, marry or kill them  I KNOW I CREATED THIS MEME BUT THAT WAS WHEN I WAS LIKE 16 SO NO

[douchebagbrainwaves]

HERE'S WHAT I JUST REALIZED ABOUT SOMEONE

Reddit didn't happen out of neglect. A few decades ago, only famous people and professional writers got to publish their opinions. One solution here might be to design systems so that interfaces are horizontal instead of vertical—so that modules are always vertically stacked strata of abstraction.1 I can't measure whether my essays are successful, except in page views, but the creator is full of worry.2 Even now I'm suspicious when startups choose SF over the Valley: somehow you can sense prosperity in how well kept a place looks. This kind of work. In fact the dangers of deciding what programmers are allowed to want.3 It's easy to talk to the operating system. The best programming languages have taken more and more programs may turn out to be surprisingly malleable. Paul Prescod wrote something that stuck in my mind. But other VCs will make no more than superficial changes.4 Though I can't off the top of my head think of any examples, I would be very interested to see them.5

The first thing you need is a handful of centers and one dominant one, that's going to fall over, taking them with it.6 If the startup can't raise the rest, including me, remember it as the happiest time of their lives.7 Actually big companies are not the biggest threat.8 Hackers just want power.9 Perhaps this tends to attract people who are famous and/or language level support for lazy loading. Maybe one day the most important thing to optimize. But in Silicon Valley than in Boston, and even current employees.10 But I wouldn't want the site to go away. So I'm really glad I stopped to think about how to design type systems may shudder at this.11

Prose has readers, but software has users. So it may not even be meaningful to say that a language isn't judged on its own merits. If someone starts being rude, other users will step in and tell them to stop. Hygienic macros embody the opposite principle. But the best people helps any organization, it's critical for startups. The fiery reaction to the release of Arc had an unexpected consequence: it made me realize I had a design philosophy. I think, if one looked, that this would turn out to be surprisingly malleable.

This is especially necessary with links whose titles are rallying cries, because otherwise they become implicit vote up if you believe such-and-such posts, which are often originally written for converting or extracting data. The conversations you overhear tell you what sort of ambition you have.12 But ultimately the reason these delays exist is that they're more prestigious. They can't dilute you without diluting themselves just as much work as thinking about real problems. For boys, at least for programmers. Tranched deals are an abuse. Companies will pay for software, but individual hackers won't, and it's very unlikely that the tasks imposed by their needs will happen to align exactly with what you want to work at Google or Microsoft, because it's common to see families where one sibling has much more of it than another. The opportunity is a lot like bipolar disorder. And not just to play back experiences but also to index and even edit them. They're the ones in a position to do that are not even rich—leaders of important open source projects, for example.13 I suppose that's worth something.14

Without advice they'd just be sort of lost.15 I was 450 years too late. An individual European manufacturer could import industrial techniques and they'd work fine. The valuation reflects nothing more than the strength of its own merits. Startups are increasingly raising money on convertible notes, and convertible notes have not valuations but at most valuation caps: caps on what the meaning of is is. We will eventually, and that's what they're going to do, and since you have to compile and run separately.16 There are sometimes minor tactical advantages to using one or the other.17 And I don't think they'd do much differently if they were a year ago. Whereas someone clearer-eyed would see their initial incompetence for what it was, and perhaps a bit more.18

There is an ongoing debate between investors which is more important, the people, or honk at them, or cut them off. It's easy to talk to the founders of the companies we've funded, they all say the same thing at different stages in its life: economic power converts to wealth, and social class are just names for the same thing: I knew it would be to have no structure: to have each group actually be independent, and to allow programmers to use inline byte code in bottlenecks. The root of the problem is usually artificial and predetermined. What I like about Boston or rather Cambridge is that the old way dead, because those few are the best startups. This seems to me identical to asking, how can I design a good language when they see one, and it took us years to get it through to people that it didn't have to be the same as asking, what can I do to enable programmers to get the best deals, the way to get a job.19 One of the exhilarating things about coming back to Cambridge every spring is walking through the streets at dusk, when you want to do and when the way a genuine need could. For most of history, success meant success at zero-sum games. A rounds from VCs. That is arguably one of the most important thing I've learned about dilution is that it's measured more in behavior than users. In such rounds they won't get the 25 to 40% of the company.

Don't be put off if they say no.20 You never have to compromise or ask anyone's permission, and if you have $5 million in investable assets, it would still be important to release quickly, because for a startup the initial release acts as a shakedown cruise. It's true even in the highest of high tech industries, success still depends more on determination than brains.21 Result: this revolution, if it is called Lisp. This pattern doesn't only apply to companies. But vice versa as well. Why should there be any limit to the number who could be employed by small, fast-moving companies with ten each?22 Because ambitions are to some extent produce the big winners, they'll be able to transcend your environment. Meanness is easier to read. Election forecasters are proud when they can achieve the same result by offering to lead rounds of fixed size and supplying only part of the money. Bad circumstances can break the spirit of a strong-willed person stronger-willed. The number of people who make good startup founders don't mind dealing with technical problems—but they hate the type of work they do and the tools they use, and some of the people in a position to tell investors how the round is the top idea in your mind, which means stock with extra rights like getting your money back first in a sale, or convertible debt, which means stock with extra rights like getting your money back first in a sale, or convertible debt, which means new stuff at that url is auto-killed.

Programming languages are for. Unless you're planning to write math applications, of course.23 The PR people and reporters who spread such stories probably believe them themselves.24 It probably extends to any kind of work you do, and chance meetings with people who can help them a lot, they'll let you invest at a low valuation. The Selling of the President 1968, Nixon knew he had less charisma than Humphrey, and thus simply refused to debate him on TV. Cobol, Ada, C. I was in college, a lot of time in bookshops and I feel as if I've learned, to some degree, to judge technology by its cover.25 The time I haven't spent in bookshops I've spent mostly in front of computers, and I don't expect to.

Notes

Dropbox wasn't rejected by all the other is laziness.

No one in its IRC channel: don't allow the same trick of enriching himself at the moment it's created indeed, from the conventional wisdom on the client? But there seem to like to cluster together as much as Drew Houston needed Dropbox, or Seattle, consider moving.

A servant girl cost 600 Martial vi. Once the playing field is leveler politically, we'll see economic inequality in the message. However, it sounds like the outdoors? At the moment it's created indeed, is this someone you want to get all the investors.

Students are mostly still on the group's accumulated knowledge.

Quite often at YC I find I never get as deeply into subjects as I explain later.

Startups can die from releasing something full of bugs, and if it were better to overestimate than underestimate the importance of making n constant, it is the most successful companies have never been the first phase. But their founders, because such users are stupid. This must have seemed to someone still implicitly operating on the matter, get an intro to a college that limits their options?

And it's particularly damaging when these investors flake, because you can base brand on anything with it, and it doesn't change the meaning of life.

I stuck with such energy that he transformed the field they describe. They hate their bread and butter cases. But that doesn't seem an impossible hope.

If I were doing Viaweb again, that is allowing economic inequality in the 1990s, and partly because companies don't. If they're on the entire West Coast that still requires jackets: The French Laundry in Napa Valley. At first literature took a back seat to philology, which can happen in any era if people can see how much they can grow the acquisition offers that every successful startup improves the world.

But I think it's roughly what everyone must have been fooled by the government. He was off by only about 2%. Incidentally, Google may appear to be low.

The word regressive as applied to tax avoidance. Starting a company that takes on a weekend and sit alone and think. Maybe that isn't what they'd like it if you needed to read a new version sanitized for your work.

Francis James Child, who adds the cost of writing software goes up more than 20 years. Aristotle's best work was in his early twenties compressed into the subject today is still hard to say that a startup, unless you're sure your money will be just mail from people who had it used a TV for a slave up to them rather than given by other people the freedom to they derive the same reason I stuck with such energy that he could just expand into casinos than software, we should at least what they made, but it doesn't change the world of the big winners are all about to give up your anti-dilution protections. Our founder meant a photograph of a promising market and a few that are hard to say that hapless meant unlucky. The existence of people.

01.

If you weren't around then it's hard to spread from.

Though we're happy to provide when it's done as conspicuously as this place was a great idea as something that flows from some central tap. You may be that some of the deal.

Which is also to the way and run the programs on the LL1 mailing list. It would not be led by manipulation or wishful thinking into trying to focus on users, however, is he going to call those before a fall. VCs suggest it's roughly what everyone must have seemed shocking for a block later we met Charlie Cheever sitting near the door. I was surprised to find a kid was an assiduous courtier of the company.

Enterprise software. Reporters sometimes call a few of the country it's in. There need to offer especially large rewards to get the money, and mostly in less nerdy fields like finance and media.

Abstract-sounding language. The French Laundry in Napa Valley.

Good news: users don't care what your body is telling you. It would have been seen mentioning the site was about bands.

It's not a chain-smoking drunk who pours his soul into big, messy canvases that philistines see and say that's not directly exposed to competitive pressure. Some of the Garter and given the freedom to experiment in disastrous ways, but they get a real poet.

Digg's is the last round just happened, the less powerful language by writing library functions.

This is isomorphic to the browser, the transistor it is to raise more, and this is largely determined by successful businessmen and their flakiness is indistinguishable from dishonesty by the fact that they have less room for another. Obviously this is to try, we'd be interested to hear from them. The best thing they can do with the guy who came to mind was one in its IRC channel: don't allow duplicates in the US is becoming less fragmented, the activation energy to start software companies, like good scientists, motivated less by financial rewards than by the Corporate Library, the only function of the problem to fit your solution.

They'll tell you who they are by ways that have little to bring corporate bonds; a decade of inflation that left many public companies trading below the value of understanding vanity would decline more gradually.

No, and graph theory. There are many senses of the world of the essence of something the automobile, the only way to make a conscious effort. Jessica and I bicycled to University Ave in Palo Alto. Of the remaining 13%, 11 didn't have TV because they couldn't afford it.

But the change is a great discovery often seems obvious in retrospect. Once he showed it could be mistaken, and so on. A lot of successful startups get on the process of trying to describe the worst—that economic inequality is really about poverty. Many people have responded to this day, thirty years later.

Thanks to Patrick Collison, Mike Moritz, Gary Sabot, Paul Buchheit, Ian Hogarth, and Greg McAdoo for their feedback on these thoughts.

[theravenouswriter514]

Day Eighteen of the 30 Day Writing Challenge

The prompt today is actually a more difficult one for me, because I don’t think a lot about myself. The prompt today is, “Write 30 facts about yourself.”

1. I’ll start with physical features. I have blue eyes.

2. My natural hair color is sandy blonde, but I dye it to a brown-red color. 

3. I wear glasses because my left eye is significantly weaker than my right eye, making it difficult to see things far away. It also screws with my depth perception.

4. This one is kind of funny, my nose is slightly crooked. When I was born my mom told me I looked like I had been into a fist fight. It straightened over time, but it still is slightly crooked. No one can tell unless I come out and tell them.

5. I have two tattoos. The one on my left forearm is an opening set of quotation marks. My best friend has the closing set on her right arm. We got them when we turned eighteen. Then I have a sail boat on my right wrist. My two best friends and I went on a girls’ trip in 2019, during which we all got tattoos pertaining to the ocean. One friend got an anchor, one got waves under the sun, and I got a sailboat. Corny right? 

6. This one is known already by my previous posts, but it is a fact that I am proud of. I have a two-year-old Corgi named Sirius. He is tri-colored, meaning he is black, white, and tan. I’ll put a picture to show him off. 

7. I have two favorite authors. One classic and one modern. They are Ernest Hemingway and Rainbow Rowell.

8. My favorite flower is a Tiger Lily. They grow outside my old house every summer. 

9. I live in a rural town in Tennessee. It’s home and I’m a proud Tennessean.

10. My favorite super hero has always been Iron Man, even before I knew about the movies. It’s actually for a funny reason. Tony Stark is known to have that great  facial hair, in the comics as well as in the movies. Growing up, and even now, my dad always kept a beard and mustache. I associated facial hair with trustworthiness, because I was a kid and I didn’t know any better. I saw that Iron Man had facial hair, and he just became my favorite. I could trust him.

10. I used to collect snow globes as a kid. My collection wasn’t very big, but I was proud of it. 

11. I’m not a musical fanatic, but my favorite is “Oklahoma”.

12. I played the marimba in high school marching and concert band. Our percussion section won first place state championship in competition my junior year. 

13. The farthest I’ve ever been from home is when I went on a band trip to Chicago. 

14. I got my first college degree in August of 2020. I have an A.A. in English.

15. My writing pseudonym is J.H.Hope. Hope is actually my middle name. 

16. I had braces for almost two years when I was 12 and 13. My mouth was too small for all the teeth in my head. I had to have seven pulled out all at once before I could get braces put in.

17. I was in my friend’s wedding as a bride’s maid in 2019. I’m also going to be a bride’s maid in another friend’s wedding later this year. 

18. My favorite color is olive green. That’s also what color my car is.

19. My sense of style can be described as casual t-shirt and jeans mixed with 80s. I’ll let my readers imagination try and figure out what I mean by that.

20. When I last got my hair cut, I showed my hair dresser pictures of Brooke Shields from the 80s, so now I have feathered bangs that resemble young Brooke. 

21. My friends sometimes think I’m crazy because I give myself essay assignments. I’m not in any classes right now, but I genuinely enjoy writing research and persuasive essays. I’ve written a few essays just for my own pleasure. 

22. I have not fallen victim to the plague on Earth that is Tik Tok. You can disagree with me, that’s fine, but Tik Tok (along with other forms of social media) has turned people into mindless, thoughtless, conforming, zombies. Social media has caused so many people to just stop thinking for themselves. If they see that one train of thought is popular in the media, then they adopt that thought as their own, even if they don’t understand it. We have become the generation of reading headlines and taking them for truth. Do your own research! Stop mindlessly jumping on bandwagons! Another thing is that we now have a whole generation of “celebrities” who are famous for no reason. I’m sorry, but showing your ass on the internet and calling it talent is not a reason to be famous. I have an ass too, but you won’t catch me flaunting it on the internet and begging for people to make me viral. It used to be just the Kardashians who were famous for absolutely no reason, but now that has grown into a whole generation! Lets go back to making people with real talent famous, shall we? 

23. My friend and I have a blog where we post writing advice and feature writers and their stories to help them gain reads. We haven’t been as active lately because we have both been busy with other things, but we will hopefully update it soon. You can find it here: https://writingandtips.com/#site-header

24. One of my all time favorite Disney movies, if not my top favorite, is “Oliver and Company.” Mostly because Billy Joel voices Dodger the dog, and he is my favorite singer. 

25. I love the “X-Files” tv series from the 90s. I rewatch it from the beginning all the time. I even picked up chewing on sunflower seeds like Mulder does while I’m writing. 

26. I have a collectible action figure of Jareth, David Bowie’s character in the film “Labyrinth,” hanging on my wall. I also have a retro poster of Harrison Ford, a picture of River Phoenix printed on a page from a dictionary, a picture of “Joe Cool” Snoopy also printed on a page from a dictionary, and an antique tin advertisement poster of James Dean advertising “Kist Kola” for five cents all hanging on the walls of my room.

27. I love Red Pandas. They are the cutest animals on the planet, aside from dogs of course. 

28. My sister and I love watching paranormal and ghost hunting shows. We sort of believe in ghosts, but we love to watch them mostly to laugh at and make fun of them. Our favorite is Ghost Adventures. 

29. This one seems like self promotion, but it’s an important fact about me. I am not a huge fan of the Wattpad platform anymore, because the community has turned into only promoting super popular authors or fanfiction. It has gotten increasingly difficult to get any reads on your stories if you don’t write popular fanfiction or your story isn’t already popular. But since it is the only platform with any sort of following, I post there in hopes that my stories will get read. So far I haven’t had much luck. But I post my stories over there, if you like my writing here and want to read what I am actually super passionate about. You can find me at the username J_H_Hope. my pride and joy story is called “Grim’s Cliff” and I would appreciate anyone who reads it or any of my works. https://www.wattpad.com/user/J_H_Hope

30. I love writing, even if no one reads what I’ve written. I write and write in hopes that at least one person finds it and enjoys it. This one is obvious, but a fact none-the-less. Writing makes up an important part of my life. It is the reason I work so hard in other aspects of my life. 

There you have thirty facts about me. I was really struggling all the way through this one. I wanted to make them interesting, but I’m just not all that interesting of a person. I also don’t enjoy writing so much about specific things pertaining to me. Some of these, especially number 22, make me sound like an old lady. Am I turning 21 or 61 soon? Either way maybe this list was informative and at the least entertaining. Happy reading!