#shortcake-kaspbrak

[ultimateheadcanontournament]

Ultimate Headcanon Tournament

Here is the full bracket! I did the best I could to make it a proper bracket! Good luck to all of the participants!

Genderqueer Manifred von Karma (Ace Attorney) vs Gay trans man Ao Ohtori (I am Magicami)

Narrator Chara (Undertale) vs Trans male Yentl (Yentl the Yeshiva Boy)

Trans Danny Fenton (Danny Phantom) vs Captain John Hart has multiple mothers (Torchwood)

Trans Guy Gardener (DC Comics) vs Aroace Kaladin (Stormlight Archive)

Steve Rogers/Captain America likes men (Marvel Comics) vs Fletcher took Tanner’s folder when Andrew wasn’t looking (Whiplash)

Trans male Zelda/Sheik (The Legend of Zelda) vs Aroace autistic Mira (Sekko Boys)

Aroace Hunter (The Owl House) vs Dyslexic Wallabee/Numbah 4 (Codename: Kids Next Door)

ADHD Todd Chavez (BoJack Horseman) vs Trans girl Plum Puddin' (Strawberry Shortcake)

Phone Guy survived (Five Nights at Freddy's) vs Grayromantic Kaz Brekker (Six of Crows)

Transmasc MK (Lego Monkie Kid) vs Autistic Mark Grayson (Invincible)

Autistic Elle Woods (Legally Blonde) vs Mafia Town was called Mustache Town (A Hat in Time)

Bennett has eczema on his hands (Genshin Impact) vs Autistic Tobias (Animorphs)

Autistic N (Pokémon) vs Ben Tennyson forgot to remake his other cousin (Ben 10)

Mario and Peach hold no ill will towards Bowser (Super Mario) vs Autistic Reagan Ridley (Inside Job)

Autistic Zuko (Avatar: The Last Airbender) vs Affogato Cookie is part snake (Cookie Run: Kingdom)

Autistic Adora (She-Ra) vs Hank Schrader forgave Walter White before Jack Welker killed him (Breaking Bad)

Kylo Ren's full name is Ben Chewbacca Alderaan Organa Solo (Staar Wars) vs Commander Shepherd is a terrible driver (Mass Effect)

ADHD Dave (Homestuck) vs Trans male Kurapika (Hunter x Hunter)

Transfem Larry Daley (Night at the Museum) vs Trans male Mafuyu Asahina (Project Sekai)

Autistic Gregory Eddie (Abbott Elementary) vs Autistic Eddie Kaspbrak (IT)

Trans Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls) vs Autistic hyperverbal Cecil Gershwin Palmer (Welcome to Night Vale)

Juggalo Remus Sanders (Sanders Sides) vs Aroace Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece)

Autistic Izuku Midoriya (My Hero Academia) vs Autistic Keith Kogane (Voltron)

Shrek came up with his name on the spot when Donkey asked him (Shrek) vs Autistic trans man Elliott (Stardew Valley)

Autistic Peridot (Steven Universe) vs Kathryn Janeway is aroaspec, Captain Chakotay is twospirit, and they are in a QPR (Star Trek)

Nonbinary Lake (Infinity Train) vs Jason Mendoza has the highest emotional intelligence of all the characters (The Good Place)

Transfem Big Macintosh/Orchard Blossom (My Little Pony) vs Monika was following a script until she deleted herself (Doki Doki Literature Club)

Autistic trans lesbian Samus Aran (Metroid) vs Firestar and Sandstorm are queerplatonic mutual beards (Warriors)

Autistic Usagi Tsukino (Sailor Moon) vs Trans Kakashi Hatake (Naruto)

Transfem Leonardo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) vs Kermit caused 9/11 (Muppets)

Diabetic Sniper (Team Fortress 2) vs Gay Jousuke Higashikata (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure)

Trans woman Cinderella (Cinderella) vs Aroace Alphonse Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)

[neighborhoodbirds]

Hi so I want to bring to the fandom's attention that Shortcake-Kaspbrak has been lying to her followers about how old she is. She told people that she is different ages, and there have been rumors that she has been speaking to/ flirting with bloggers that are in their twenty’s and she told them that she’s much younger than she really is. I was one of the people who calculated her age when she posted her costar chart which is an astrology app and when I tried to message her about it to find out some things she ignored me and then blocked me. This made me believe that she really is thirty like I calculated from her chart since she’s avoiding the topic even though she said she would talk to people about it if they messaged her. I hoped that it was a misunderstanding but she never replied to me and she never denied lying on her blog either which is also suspicious. This isn't okay! I attached a screenshot of the message I sent to prove that I did try to message her and that she blocked me afterward. Over a week passed between my first message and my second one. I hid her birthday that I calculated for her privacy. Chris and Bimmy are @richieblows and @bimmyshrug who have also made posts about this.

Please reblog this so people know this writer is lying about her age for inappropriate reasons!! Please be safe! This isn't the first time she's been caught lying and doing things like this in fandom and it can be really dangerous and hurt people!

[heterophobicrichietozier]

“Meat huge, brain tiny”—Brooke

Thank you for the glowing review @shortcake-kaspbrak 🤙🏽😎

[thorniest-rose]

Thinking back to my favourite photo of me from last summer haha 😊💖🌸🍰

[jisssooyah]

Hi you... if you were going to curate a little season of films for me, which ones would you choose and why? They don't need to be horror, I'm just curious what you would choose 🌸

I don’t know if you’ll like these movies, or if you’ve already watched them, but after i watched these films, i felt like they might need to belong to you now. i hope they make you smile, roll your eyes, and cry just as much as i did.

1. city of god (2002): this is one of the most immersive and gorgeously shot films i’ve ever seen. it’s set in rio de janeiro during the 60s and spans decades exploring the drug culture in the slums and how this can affect kids just as they are trying to figure their own selves out. the way this film is shot, feels like you were at the sea with them as the sand crunched underneath your feet. but the way that the director captures these individuals, makes you so fucking relieved that you don’t live through any of the circumstances that they go through. 

2. the dreamers (2004): set in 1968, this film follows three students in Paris who come of age and explore one another and their limits during the revolution. while these students prop themselves up as individuals obsessed with sex, running underneath themselves is a current of jealousy, obsession, and blurred familial relationships that made me increasingly uncomfortable. you find yourself feeling bad for the children, and ultimately upset at their upbringing because of their parents. 

3. if beale street could talk (2018): this movie is based off of james baldwin’s titular 1974 novel. in it, the director expertly and vigorously explores love: a love that feels so real that it hurts. the cast is what sold this film to me. the way they talk, laugh, cry, and smile at one another is achingly beautiful and terrifyingly sad. i wanted to transport myself back to their time period and watch the main characters fall in love because the film didn’t seem like enough. 

4. the neon demon (2016): this film follows an emerging model who sacrifices herself to the demands of the industry in order to be attractive and beautiful. there are so many stunning colors in this film that it makes you dizzy, like you’re in a trance and that’s what this world is for the main character: a trance. as she oscillates between reality and fantasy, her world and the characters in it, increasingly seek out to alter her personality. 

5. death becomes her (1992): a deliberately ultra-campy parody of trashy, pandering "women's pictures," soap operas and paperbacks from the '80s and '90s. The three leads all do some of their best work - it's hilarious watching Meryl Streep play a terrible actress, Goldie Hawn is particularly hilarious during her character's cat lady phase, and all around just a really fun and eccentric film. 

6. princess cyd (2017): i can’t think of anything to write for this but i just wanna say that this is literally one of the most pleasant movie experiences i’ve ever had. so much light and genuine interaction in warm sun rays radiating positive energy and an openness that is far too uncommon in movies nowadays. people talk, people connect, people grow bonds and are allowed to be sexual or intimate or personal without an air of shame or judgement. just pure kind and curious human association. 

7. spiderman: into the spiderverse (2018): the message of Spider-Verse is not "gentrify yourself! stop expressing your personality and just conform to what society wants you to be!" After all, what makes you different makes you Spider-Man, and Miles' final expression of himself as a superhero still retains much of his personality and individuality...they're just being used in more productive and fulfilling ways. It's the little things that drive the point home, like noticing that the title page for Miles' finished Great Expectations essay has been stylistically doodled and colored like street art. Rather than seeing his artistic gifts as an opposition to his schoolwork, Miles infuses them together to make the best of the hand he's been dealt.

8. my life as a zucchini (2016): initially heartbreaking and sad, but slowly becoming more joyful and heartwarming as the plot moves along. The film really feels like it captures the essence and child like wonder of these kids, all of them going through hardships but managing to find something to help each other out. It’s so refreshing to see the actual orphanage portrayed in a more positive light, not the usual horrid dump that a lot of lesser movies play them out as. The animation is stunning. One of the best uses of stop motion I’ve seen, everything is so colourful and detailed. There’s some moments set in snowy mountains and these look incredible. There’s clearly been so much love and care put into each and every scene here. The music too, sounds spectacular, it really works well with each scene. 

9. lovesong (2016): Mindy and Sarah have that type of relationship where they don't need words because they speak in a language made out of glances and touches. This movie is about the fear of ruining a meaningful friendship and losing an important person, about love that is so complicated that one might not even try because the outcome seems to be so obvious.

10. her (2013): Heartbreak is formative: it changes you heart side out, and leaves your muscles a little stronger, your skin a little thicker, your bones easier to repair. Before this film, I’d never seen anything constructive in having your insides pulled apart by the seams by another person, but this film taught me how. Being in love and then being forced out of it is an experience that changes you fundamentally, but Her taught me its purpose – you don’t need them to leave you so that you can find someone who’s a better fit, because perhaps you never will. You need it to participate in humanity. The common denominator is being hurt, and without it, you’re barely alive.

11. shoplifters (2018): bittersweet and richly transportive, Shoplifters is a film that nonchalantly eases you into its tragic beauty in a way that doesn't punch you hard until the end. It simultaneously made me want to be part of the film's world and also very glad that I'm not. The setting the characters live in is messy and cluttered and full of dysfunction and lies, but it's also got family, and laughter, and fist-bumps, and slurping warm noodles while rain pings on the tin rooftop. So nuanced, so many tiny moments of delicate beauty and unassuming heartbreak, so many people making terrible decisions with good intentions.

12. god’s own country (2017): though it is a love story between two men, this aspect is only addressed briefly in a single scene. Rather, the film is about finding someone who makes you want to be a better person, someone who comes into your life just when you needed it most. Gheorghe helps Johnny open up and realize the beauty of the simple life. From this relationship, Johnny begins to feel comfortable with expressing himself, and his love and gratitude towards others. He also begins to appreciate life in the country, surrounded by stunning landscapes and the beauty of simplicity. Addressing the Yorkshire countryside, Gheorghe says "It is beautiful, but lonely." Johnny is presented with the notion that he doesn't have to be cold and miserable, slaving and drinking his days away. He is presented with the possibility of no longer being alone and finally finding happiness and contentment - and it is more than gratifying to see him accept it.

13. disobedience (2017): a tender star-crossed daydream. the three main character dynamics are special enough on their own, but the romance that blooms at the center is cathartically intimate and even magical: a reunion that feels so inevitable. catching glimpses of a past life, details we aren’t privy to. all the stolen kisses and whispers and promises. a bond so strong that they fall back in sync with each other like second nature, even if they try to fight against it. even if it won’t work. and yet they choose each other, even if for a few minutes.

14. raw (2016): this film is so gross and I like that. There is tons of blood and unique body horror and it all works perfectly for the tone the film is attempting to set. The use of color, specifically neons, creates a constant feeling that you are traveling through some sort of weird ghost world, which I really like. Overall, it's a very well put together film with flashes of brilliance.

15. the night is short, walk on girl (2017): what an absolutely magical adventure of a film. Essentially this is a heavily episodic look at a night in the lives of several people, centered on a woman and a man as she gleefully floats from event to event while he neurotically obsesses over how to "coincidentally" talk to her. The storytelling is incredible; while the overarching narrative is simple there are countless threads woven together to connect everyone in the story to each other. That in itself is a big theme: connections between people, how everything is interrelated, and what a large impact seemingly insignificant things people do can have an impact on everyone around them.

16. coraline (2009): Coraline is the best stop motion movie ever made in my opinion. Before the film released in 2009, I read the book and was completely blown away by its creativity and story. It’s a pretty dark tale featuring many scenes of fright that work well in both a horror setting and an animated kids setting. On surface value, this film is quite horrifying, which is something I’ve always loved about it. While it does make a few minor changes to the book, it improves upon a piece of art that was already jaw-droppingly good. Coraline feels like a real little girl with some real problems. She’s selfish but likable which is something most films cannot translate well. Of course, she has a pretty awesome arc as well which brings this movie to a perfect close for her character. The other-mother is also perfectly done. She is almost exactly how I imagined her in the book and the animation on her is spookily gorgeous. There is not one dull moment in this film. It is literally a perfect piece of cinema.

17. the third wife (2019): haven’t seen a film this visually delicate in a while. Ash Mayfair works with the looming mountain surroundings to make her characters —these women, these girls— as small as possible, as isolated as possible. Uneasiest of all is the protagonist May, so young and so weighed by responsibility, her position blurs between being one of the wives and being one of the daughters. It’s an extremely bleak tale of circumstance. An old tale, certainly, but so beautifully crafted it doesn’t matter. Mayfair holds a fearful tension throughout, and it only ever shatters in the cruelest of ways.The abundance of women and display of sisterhood begin as a comfort, but horror takes over as we realize how conditional and fragile that comfort is. Even the daughters are subconsciously aware, one of them praying to the gods to grow up and become a man, shearing her hair off in naive triumph. It’s a doomed cycle of girls performing roles which are unfortunately their best option, right up until the final scene of May with her daughter, still in their mourning clothes. She, like the older wives, finally realizes they’re the same as the cattle laying on their side for too many days.

[dear-ida]

Yeah, Don’t You Mind is written in Richie’s POV but Eddie is absolutely running the show.

I’m not here to step in on brooke’s writing but even after reading it half a dozen times it’s still very clear that through the entirety of the fic, Richie is thinking ‘what does Eddie want with me? From me?’

Like the man is waiting on hands and knees for Eddie to give him a sign because that boy is so cautious about every step he takes into the relationship with Richie and Richie is just all about HIM and he’s willing to wait and seek out every one of Eddie’s expressions and movements for a sign of what he truly wants from Richie.

I’m not someone that enjoys heavy BDSM. I like power dynamics in fics but not when it involves violent brutality that don’t really involve romantic interaction between the characters. I didn’t get this at all from Don’t You Mind, I love love love this fic purely for how obsessed and devoted Richie is to Eddie. The man worships him and while there is a delicious power dynamic where he runs things in the bedroom, he still will wait on his boy hand and foot because as Gwen has written in her fics many, many times. He loves Eddie so much.

@shortcake-kaspbrak sorry for digging this up, but I wanted to share some love in light of continued asks u get

[death--stranded]

I love the friendship between you and shortcake-kaspbrak 🥺

yeah we cute 😤 yeah shes my bottom bitch 😍

[queerbloodyangel]

I don't want to be on anon, Amber. I just want to say how much I adore you. I'm so happy that we met through fandom because you're such a great writer, and you're so funny and cool. You've supported me right from the start when I posted very first fic, so I really value you, and I LOVE our conversations! Let's have lots more please!

brooke you have my heart 😭😭😭😭😭 u think so highly of me and im just over here constantly 🥺🥺🥺 at YOU bc i think the exact same abt you!!! heres to many more delightful conversations 😉🥂

Anonymously tell me something you think about me 💭

[pilvimarja]

Imagine your first fictional crush fighting your current fictional crush: a tag game

I was tagged by @ohmykaspbrak and @cobraking, thank you!

First fictional crush: Johnny Cade from The Outsiders

Current fictional crush: Daniel LaRusso from Cobra Kai

I tag @shortcake-kaspbrak @heterophobicrichietozier and @crimsonandclover27

[nocassiethx]

Inspired by the Halloween ficlet « fangs » from @shortcake-kaspbrak

[heterophobicrichietozier]

You heard it here first folks!! I make girls wet because my meat is so huge and I’m a himbo 🤷‍♂️

@shortcake-kaspbrak

[jisssooyah]

Hi you! I'd love to know what your favourite horror films are please. Do you have a top 10 you could share with me? I'm a huge horror buff and your taste seems immaculate ❤️

Babe, I can’t believe you made me reduce this to ten LOL but, nonetheless, I will attempt to list my favorite horror films. Note: this is absolutely subject to change because horror is constantly evolving and so many films are subverting and expanding this genre.

1. Black Swan (2010)

2. The Conjuring (2013)

3. A Tale of Two Sisters (2003)

4. Us (2019)

5. Halloween (1978)

6. The Strangers (2008)

7. It Follows (2014)

8. It (2017)

9. Raw (2016)

10. Insidious (2010)

Honorable mentions: Jennifer’s body, Hush, Evil Dead, and Friday the 13th franchise

[captain-idgie]

Flufftober day 5 Celebration

Bev: Introducing Mr and Mr!.... Wait Rich you filled out two forms for both last names?? You use a hyphen!

Richie: Eddie said it was ok!

Eddie: ....I was drunk! AND Kidding!

Perma Reddie tag: @finelinedwalls @braverthanyathink @heterophobicrichietozier @varioushyperfixations @shortcake-kaspbrak

[death--stranded]

Hi you... just dropping in to say how much you're cherished. One of the best things about joining this fandom was meeting you, and I honestly feel blessed that we get to talk so much. Whether we're idolising Louis Theroux, swapping our dumb ideas about Eddie being an Insta thot, sharing our cringey experiences about going to primary school discos, or just talking about how our day is going, I really love having you in my life. So thanks for putting up with me & my opinions on Stan's pubes :)

im gonna cry bro im lit rally gonna cry u STAY being the cutest sweetest nicest babie of all time i truly cant say how grateful i am i "met" u even if u are a 60 year old man cat fishing me from a wet basement filled with anime porn I love talkin 2 u love when u laugh at my stupid shit jokes i love our exquisite taste in television ....you r the eddie 2 my richie the carol baskin 2 my joe exotic the china to my pluto....ur so so beautiful and fun and kind and ur so annoying i love u so much ur my sweet baby angel I stg im about to marry this woman

[trillgutterbug]

Imagine your first fictional crush fighting your current fictional crush: a tag game

tagged by @shortcake-kaspbrak ​

well this is a tricky one for me, because i don’t specifically remember my first fictional crush lol. i was an incredibly amorous child and by all reports from my relatives i was besotted with basically anything that moved from the age of about 1 onwards, which my first memories from about 2.5 confirm. i didn’t watch tv or movies until i was around 10, but i read vigorously from the age of 4, and people read to me before that, so using a little deduction re the first book i can recall my cousin reading to me (the lion the witch and the wardrobe), and knowing my own little furry ass as i do, i’m going to carbon date my first fictional crush to aslan 🤦‍♀️. (my later, vigorous adoration of simba is but a poor imitation of this formative experience, clearly.) 

i did ponder for a moment including a picture, in case anyone has forgotten what a big lion looks like, but when i did some googling this was one of the first results and a more decisive callout can’t possibly exist, so we’ll just leave it at this: 

in a similar vein, i am still uhhhh an amorous person, and deeply infatuated with at least a half dozen people fictional and real at any given moment, but there’s no point pretending that, at this specific moment, i’m not 100% ass-up for johnny lawrence 😞. it do be what it be. here are some gifs in case yall have entirely missed the sole content of my blog for the past three weeks.

burnt sinnamon roll, been in the world too long:

fresh sinnamon roll, still been in the world too long:

anyway i’d do literally anything for and to him, thanks. 

as far as fighting goes, well. aslan’s god and johnny’s a disaster boy. seems pretty straightforward. except aslan wouldn’t fight him, he’d give him a very gentle lion kiss and heal all johnny’s terrible emotional trauma and validate his entire existence and tell him to stop being such a punkass bitch all the time, and johnny would cry for a very long time and probably go take a Meaningful Bath in a cold stream and eventually emerge a new, radiant being, so uh. much 2 consider actually..........

lowkey tagging @fahre ​ and @mollynoble ​ and @lingua-mortua ​ and @kaasknot ​

[mimsyaf]

Imagine your first fictional crush fighting your current fictional crush: a tag game.

Was tagged by @shortcake-kaspbrak and @carltonlassie — thank you both so very much yay this is fun 🧡

So this would be so horrible for my poor first crush were I not bisexual (will explain shortly) and that is because my first crush was Wesley Crusher, science genius and gentle soul, on Star Trek: The Next Generation.

ST:TNG was the first “grown up” show I was allowed to watch, and I fell in love with it at age 10, and even more in love with Wesley Crusher, who was a teenager but also got to be an ensign!! And do important science things!! He made friends with mystical beings!! He dated a girl who turned out to be a princess and also a bear or something!! He was just great. Very non-toxic masculinity and also those eyelashes.

So I do NOT want him to fight my current crush.

Meet Sensei Johnny Lawrence, a man who still uses the words “pussy” and “pansy-ass” to describe people who — have feelings? This absolute trash panda of a man crawled his way into my heart in the very opening moments of Season One of Cobra Kai, and I’ve been wildly smitten and entertained ever since (it helps that he’s on a fascinating journey of redemption and growth — with some detours omg). He is very nice to look at if you like craggy blond dudes with soulful eyes and a smirky grin and the body of someone who’s been doing martial arts since he was 17. Which I do.

But though Johnny’s, like, evolving, I don’t even want him in the same ROOM as Wesley Crusher, let alone in a fight with him. It would just be so much bullying. So much. Horrible.

However, the other reason I was obsessed with Star Trek was this lady.

Counselor Deanna Troi, sort-of-psychotherapist, empath, raven haired goddess of my dreams.

I didn’t quite understand the nature of the feelings I had for her because I was 10 and it was the 80s, but I loved every moment she was on my screen. She had a cool accent, she could tell what people were feeling which was sort of like magical powers, she wore awesome spandex dresses (remember, this was the 80s), she was brave and beautiful and kind and had the most incredible eyes and lips I’d ever seen. And she had all these lame-ass boyfriends and I kept thinking how much I wished they would go away, and also that we could be friends so maybe she’d let me help her with her elaborate hairdos. I was a bit confused about why I wanted to touch her hair so much.

So here’s the way I see it: Deanna Troi could WIPE THE FLOOR with Johnny in a fight, with or without her powers. I mean, he’d be toast. He’d also LOVE IT, omg. He would have zero defense against anything about this lady. And maybe it would lead to him starting therapy? Which would be good.

So let them battle it out and let Wesley Crusher sit off to the side and study quantum physics or whatever in a nice safe space, which is exactly where he belongs.

And that’s how you win with queerness, by subverting the entire concept of “fighting”.

Absolutely no pressure but on the offchance you’d like to play: @twobrokenwyngs @matahariherself @variousqueerthings @ted-imgoingmad .