#⠀⠀％!? ──⠀⠀ THINKING CHAOS ╱ ⠀ ROMANTIC AFFAIRS

[thinkingcha0s]

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[solxamber]

Trash Novel Chronicles: How to Ruin a Plot || Jade Leech

When you end up as the villainess in a story that's hellbent on making her suffer for no reason, you decide to make the main characters suffer just for catharsis. Good thing that your fiancé, Jade Leech seems to like chaos as much as you.

Series Masterlist

Dinner wasn’t much to write home about—a plate of lukewarm spaghetti that could generously be described as "functional," paired with a salad so sad it could star in its own soap opera. But you had something better: entertainment.

And by entertainment, you meant the literary dumpster fire currently sitting in your hands.

This book. This book.

The plot was so catastrophically terrible that it looped around to being hilarious. You chewed your subpar spaghetti and flipped a page, trying not to laugh too hard at the sheer absurdity of what you were reading.

The villainess, a talented duchess and renowned potion maker, was saddled with some of the worst clients in existence. The saintess—of course, she was a saintess, because originality was clearly out of the question—was engaged to the Duke of the North. Why? Who knows. It wasn’t like they seemed to like each other. In fact, she was also having a very public affair with the prince.

And not just any prince. A balding prince.

Because nothing screams “romantic rival” like the slow and tragic retreat of one’s hairline.

They were both the worst. The kind of people who would demand a 12-step skincare routine from their servants but would balk at paying them a living wage. When the villainess refused to make them more potions for ridiculous requests like “immunity to insults” (seriously?), they decided to frame her for crimes and have her executed.

The sheer audacity.

But it didn’t stop there. Oh no. The villainess had a fiancé—Jade Leech, poor guy—who tried his best to help her escape. And what did she do? Sacrificed herself so he wouldn’t get dragged into her mess. Noble, sure, but also infuriating because she died for them.

And then Jade, now heartbroken and understandably bitter, became the main antagonist. Only to be defeated by the same cartoonishly bland protagonists who caused the entire mess.

It was like someone handed a six-year-old a book contract and said, “Go wild, kid. Just make sure it has betrayal and love triangles, and throw in some magic potions or something.”

You forked another sad tangle of spaghetti into your mouth and tried not to choke from laughing at the sheer absurdity of it all. The characters had all the depth of a kiddie pool, the plot holes were big enough to drive a carriage through, and the pacing? What pacing? This story had clearly decided pacing was for cowards.

You flipped to another page, nearly snorting when the saintess justified her affair by saying, “It’s what the goddess would want."

Sure, Jan.

And just as you were about to take another bite of dinner, it happened.

A mushroom. A mushroom.

You didn’t even realize it had slipped into your spaghetti until it was already lodged in your throat. Panic set in as you clawed at your neck, gasping for air while your brain helpfully supplied one last thought:

Can’t believe a mushroom took me out. Goddammit.

And then everything went dark.

The first thing you notice is the carpet: thick, plush, and entirely too luxurious for someone who had been laughing themselves to death over garbage-tier literature just moments ago. The second thing you notice is that you’re alive, which is great. Except you’re no longer in your cozy little living room.

No, you’re in a gothic mansion straight out of an interior decorator's fever dream. Dark wood, brooding paintings, and vials of suspicious liquids lined up neatly on shelves. For a second, you think you’ve wandered into a Dracula fan convention, but then it hits you.

The novel. The Poisoned Duchess and the Frozen Heart of the North.

You scramble to your feet, heart pounding. “No. No, no, no, no,” you mutter, sprinting to the nearest mirror. A familiar (and obnoxiously beautiful) face stares back at you. Elegant curls, piercing eyes, and an expression that could curdle milk. Yep. You’re the Duchess—the villainess who gets executed for daring to have standards.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me,” you groan, gripping the edge of the vanity. “I was just making fun of this! How did I end up here? Is this karma? Did the mushroom do this?!”

You spend a good ten minutes pacing the room, muttering to yourself like a squirrel with a caffeine problem. “Okay, okay, think. The Saintess and the Prince are nuts, and they’re gonna come here demanding potions for their ridiculous nonsense like ‘immunity to sarcasm’ or whatever. Solution? Close the shop. Sell it. Let some other poor soul deal with their unhinged requests. Genius! But what next? What about the fiancé—oh god, Jade!”

Jade Leech. The fiancé you had casually dismissed in your tirade against the novel. The one who was supposed to be self-sacrificing, and eventually doomed. But now he’s your fiancé, and you’re not about to let him become collateral damage in this flaming dumpster fire of a plot.

“We’ll run away!” you declare, pointing dramatically at an imaginary horizon. “We’ll elope, move to some peaceful countryside, grow tomatoes, and live a happy, Saintess-free life. Screw the plot. Screw the Duke. Screw the Saintess and her balding fiancé—”

You’re mid-sentence when the sound of a door opening interrupts your theatrical monologue. You spin around and freeze.

Standing in the doorway is Jade Leech himself. And oh boy, the novel did not do him justice. His sharp features, soft teal hair, and piercing eyes make your brain short-circuit. The man looks like he walked out of an ethereal fairy tale and promptly decided to make everyone else look like peasants.

He leans casually against the doorframe, arms crossed, and raises a brow. “Well, this is quite the scene to walk into.”

You blink. And then you blink again, because your brain is still stuck on handsome fiancé alert. “Uh…”

Jade smirks, clearly amused. “Is this a private performance, or can anyone join? Because I’m not sure who you’re planning to screw, but it sounds… ambitious.”

You want to die all over again. “I—uh, would you… like to join my plans?”

His eyes gleam with mischief. “Plans, you say? That depends. Do these plans involve anything more exciting than managing a potion shop?”

“Yes! So much more exciting!” you blurt out. “We close the shop, sell it, cause some chaos, run away, and live happily ever after far away from this stupid place! No Saintess. No Duke. Just… us. Tomatoes. Maybe a goat.”

Jade chuckles, the sound warm and entirely too pleasant for your frazzled state of mind. “You’ve certainly caught my interest. All right, I’m in. A little chaos sounds much better than… whatever normalcy is supposed to look like.”

He steps closer, and you swear your brain bluescreens again because wow, personal space doesn’t exist here, huh? Jade offers his hand, his smile sharp but oddly sincere. “So, where do we start, my prodigal Duchess?”

You take his hand, still half-dazed. “Step one: Screw the Saintess.”

He laughs again. “Now that’s the kind of plan I can get behind.”

Meeting Jade's brother was like getting hit by a rogue wave of chaos. You'd thought Jade was the wild card of the family, but then Floyd Leech burst into the room like a hurricane wearing a grin.

He looked at you with an intensity that made you feel like you were being appraised for your entertainment value, then immediately announced, "You wanna screw with the Saintess and the Duke? Oh, I’m in.”

You stared at him for a long moment, then at Jade, who gave you an apologetic shrug, clearly used to Floyd’s… energy. You decided, then and there, that you were extremely lucky to have been paired with the Leech brother who at least pretended to respect social norms.

Floyd, however, was a force of nature and, admittedly, a useful one. He seemed far too enthusiastic about the chaos you were planning, but hey, when life gives you a human typhoon, you use it to wreak havoc.

Then there was Azul Ashengrotto. Meeting him felt less like talking to a person and more like negotiating with an overly polite shark. “I can provide you protection,” he said smoothly, pushing a contract toward you with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

You glanced at the contract, then back at him. “And what does this… "protection" demand in return?”

“Oh, nothing too demanding,” Azul said, waving his hand as if it was all very casual. “Just a few favors in return. Small things, really.”

You stared at the fine print and felt your soul start to sweat. This wasn’t just protection—it was a fast track to selling your soul to the fish mafia.

“Tell you what,” you said, shoving the contract back toward him. “I’ll sell the potion shop to you for cheap if you help me with whatever plans I come up with.”

Azul tilted his head, intrigued. “And what’s in it for me?”

“You get to own the best potion shop in the kingdom without dealing with the Saintess and her entourage of entitlement.”

His eyes gleamed. “Done. But if you get arrested, you won’t mention my name.”

“Deal,” you said, shaking his hand. Internally, you made a note to burn the shop down if things went south. Better a pile of ash than Azul owning it and your dignity.

The next day, you decided to drop by a boutique to prepare for the Saintess’s tea party. Not because you cared about the event, but because you cared very deeply about ruining her day.

You knew exactly what she was planning to wear—some pastel monstrosity—and you were determined to outshine her. You’d wear an upgraded version of her outfit, but classier, sharper, and absolutely dripping with pettiness.

The boutique owner was taking your measurements when you told them to send the bill to your butler. That was when Jade, who had been quietly browsing nearby, strolled over. He casually slid his arm around your waist, like it was the most natural thing in the world, and said, “Send the bill to me.”

You whipped around, scandalized. “Excuse me?!”

He leaned in, his mismatched eyes sparkling with mischief. “I just want everyone to know you’re my fiancée,” he murmured, his voice low and entirely too close to your ear.

Your brain promptly blue-screened. He was too close, his scent too distracting, and his hand on your waist was doing things to your equilibrium. The boutique owner pretended not to notice your obvious malfunction, but Jade? Jade looked like he was having the time of his life.

“Fine,” you mumbled, your voice barely audible as you tried to collect the scattered pieces of your dignity.

“Good,” Jade said, his smirk widening.

He didn’t let go of you after that. Oh no, he kept his hand firmly on the small of your back as you left the boutique. Every step was an exercise in not collapsing from the sheer audacity of his touch.

Meanwhile, Jade looked perfectly at ease, as if his sole purpose in life was to see how long it would take you to spontaneously combust.

By the time you got back to the mansion, you were sure of one thing: Jade Leech was going to be the death of you, and he was going to enjoy every second of it.

The tea party was shaping up to be the highlight of your career as a petty agent of chaos. You arrived late, naturally—nothing screams “I’m better than you” quite like waltzing in when everyone’s already seated.

The moment you stepped into the pavilion, a collective gasp swept through the crowd. Your dress—custom-tailored, one-of-a-kind, and effortlessly overshadowing every other outfit there—practically glowed in the sunlight.

The Saintess, perched at the head of the table, turned to greet you, her expression instantly souring when she caught sight of your gown. Oh, you could practically hear the cogs in her head screeching to a halt as she realized you’d completely outdone her.

“Oh my,” you said, offering a demure smile as you made your way to your seat. “I hope I’m not interrupting.”

“Not at all,” she replied, her voice as sweet as arsenic. “What a… bold choice of dress.”

“Oh, this?” You gestured casually, as though you weren’t wearing something that could stop traffic. “My fiancé picked it out for me. He has such excellent taste, don’t you think?”

You didn’t need to look directly at her to see the way her jaw clenched. You could feel her rage simmering from across the table. After all, her own fiancé, or even the Balding Prince, hadn’t bothered to buy her a dress, let alone one that could compete with yours. You almost felt bad for her. Almost.

From there, the afternoon devolved into a series of increasingly petty power plays.

When the Saintess poured herself a cup of tea, you made a point to remark on how “rustic” her teapot was.

When she complimented the garden’s flowers, you chimed in with, “Oh, are these the same ones you tried to grow last year? I remember hearing how they all died!”

Every little comment was a carefully aimed dart, and she was too polite—or perhaps too afraid of snapping in public—to retaliate. The guests, of course, were eating it up.

The pièce de résistance came when the Balding Prince himself approached you during the party.

“I need a potion,” he said, puffing himself up like a rooster trying to assert dominance. “For my, uh, hair.”

You blinked, momentarily stunned. Of all the scenarios you’d envisioned, this was not one of them.

“Your hair?” you echoed, doing your best to keep a straight face. “What kind of potion are we talking about here? Growth? Volume? Shine?”

The Prince’s eye twitched. “That’s… none of your business,” he snapped.

Before you could respond, Jade—bless him—“accidentally” bumped into the Prince from behind, sending his ridiculous feathered hat tumbling to the ground.

The gasp that followed was deafening.

There it was, in all its glory: the shiny, blinding expanse of the Prince’s balding crown, gleaming like a beacon of despair in the afternoon sun.

For a moment, the pavilion was silent. Then someone coughed. Then someone else giggled. And before long, the entire tea party was a symphony of poorly stifled laughter.

“It’s, uh, a royal tradition!” the Prince stammered, clutching his hat and jamming it back onto his head. “A sign of wisdom and… and…”

He trailed off, clearly out of excuses, and fled the scene faster than you’d ever seen anyone run in formalwear.

The Saintess looked like she was about to implode. Unfortunately for her, the Third Male Lead (Yes, there were 3 of them) chose that exact moment to swoop in, all charm and wit as he began lavishing her with attention. You leaned back in your chair, sipping your tea and basking in the chaos like a cat who’d just knocked over an entire shelf of priceless antiques.

“Nice work,” you murmured to Jade, holding up your hand for a discreet high five.

Instead of obliging, he grabbed your hand and laced his fingers through yours, the smirk on his face practically criminal.

“You’re far more fun than I expected,” he said, his voice low enough that only you could hear.

You stared at him, your brain immediately short-circuiting. Your default response to most situations was sarcasm or snark, but this? This was uncharted territory.

“Uh… thanks?” you managed, your voice coming out embarrassingly squeaky.

Jade chuckled, his thumb brushing over the back of your hand as if to emphasize just how flustered you were.

“Come on,” he said, his tone far too casual for someone who’d just ruined you in front of an audience. “Let’s go cause more trouble.”

He kept his hand on the small of your back as you walked away from the pavilion, and you were pretty sure your soul left your body every time he leaned in to whisper some biting comment about the Saintess or her rapidly expanding collection of admirers.

One thing was certain: you were having the time of your life, and this was only the beginning.

The day begins innocently enough, which should have been your first warning.

You’re peacefully reading in the library, enjoying the silence, when Floyd barrels in like a hurricane. “Oi, c’mon, you gotta help me!” he hisses, grabbing your wrist before you can protest.

“Help you with what?” you manage to ask as you’re dragged down the corridor, nearly tripping over your own feet.

“It’s Jade,” Floyd says ominously. “He’s made mushrooms again.”

Ah, that explains it. You’ve heard rumors about Jade’s culinary experiments, but you’d yet to experience them firsthand.

“And what does that have to do with me?”

Floyd grins, the kind of grin that promises nothing good. “Well, I told him you love mushrooms.”

You stop dead in your tracks. “You what?”

Before you can bolt, Floyd shoves you through the greenhouse door and slams it shut behind you.

Inside, the room is warm and humid, filled with the earthy scent of soil and plants. At the far end, Jade is bent over a terrarium, meticulously arranging its contents with tweezers.

He looks up when he hears you enter, his expression brightening. “Ah, you’re here!”

Your heart sinks.

Floyd’s words echo in your mind—you love mushrooms. If only he knew. Mushrooms were the reason you got isekai’d in the first place, and the trauma of choking on one is still fresh in your memory. But now, faced with Jade’s expectant gaze and a plate of what looks like sautéed mushrooms on the table, you realize you’re trapped.

“Floyd said you were eager to try these,” Jade says, his tone polite but unmistakably pleased.

You glance at the mushrooms, then back at Jade. He looks so hopeful, like someone who’s spent hours perfecting a recipe and is finally sharing it with someone who’ll appreciate it. You swallow hard.

“Of course!” you say, forcing a smile that feels more like a grimace. “I love mushrooms.”

You sit down at the table, and Jade places the plate in front of you. The mushrooms actually smell... good. Earthy and buttery, with a hint of garlic and herbs.

“Bon appétit,” he says, watching you intently.

You pick up a fork, your hands trembling slightly, and stab a piece. You can do this, you tell yourself. It’s not the mushroom’s fault you died. It’s just food.

With one final breath, you pop the piece into your mouth.

...It’s delicious.

The flavor is rich and savory, perfectly balanced, and the texture is tender without being mushy. You blink in surprise, then take another bite.

“Good?” Jade asks, and there’s a slight smugness in his tone.

“It’s amazing,” you admit, unable to stop yourself from eating more.

Jade’s smile widens, and something in his expression softens.

After finishing the plate, you linger in the greenhouse as Jade continues tending to his terrariums. You watch him work, his hands deft and precise as he rearranges moss, misting the plants with care.

“Need help with anything?” you ask, feeling unexpectedly at ease.

He glances at you, then gestures to a nearby shelf. “If you don’t mind organizing the vials, that would be helpful.”

You nod and get to work, sorting the various bottles of nutrients and spores while Jade hums softly under his breath. The atmosphere is peaceful, the kind of quiet that feels alive rather than stifling.

Once the terrariums are in perfect order, Jade brews a pot of tea, and you both sit at a small table nestled among the plants. The tea is fragrant, its warmth soothing as you take a sip.

Jade sits across from you, one hand resting lightly on the table. Absentmindedly, you reach out and place your hand over his.

He freezes for a moment, his eyes flicking to your joined hands. His usual calm demeanor falters, a faint blush creeping up his neck. “You’re quite bold,” he murmurs, though there’s a hint of nervousness in his voice.

You suppress a grin, giving his hand a gentle squeeze before turning your attention back to your tea. “And you’re holding my hand,” you point out casually.

“I suppose I am,” he says, his voice steady again, though his ears are noticeably red.

The two of you sit there for a while longer, sipping tea and enjoying the greenhouse’s serenity. Jade, ever the polite menace, pretends to be unfazed, but you catch him glancing at your joined hands more than once.

You smile into your cup, the taste of mushrooms and tea lingering on your tongue.

You wake up to the sound of maniacal laughter, the kind that belongs to either an evil overlord or someone who just discovered how to unlock infinite in-game currency. For one groggy moment, you wonder if the devil himself has come to collect you for your sins. But as your eyes flutter open, reality (and dread) sets in.

It’s not the devil. It’s Floyd.

“Why?” you croak, sitting up in your chair and rubbing your eyes. “Why are you like this?”

Jade, ever the epitome of composed chaos, is sitting calmly across from you, sipping tea and looking highly amused. “Ah, you’re awake,” he says with a smile that suggests nothing good is about to happen.

“I had the best idea!” Floyd exclaims, still cackling. “It’s gonna be hilarious!”

Jade gives you a knowing look, the kind that says, This is going to be a disaster, but I want to watch it unfold.

You should probably shut this down. You should. But instead, you wave a hand and mumble, “Sure, go wild.”

It turns out “wild” was underselling it.

Floyd’s “brilliant” idea? Convince the Saintess to organize a grand sword-fighting competition under the premise that the Balding Prince would absolutely win. To no one’s surprise (except maybe the Saintess), she fell for it hook, line, and sinker.

“She’s been gushing about how he’s ‘a natural-born warrior,’” Floyd reports gleefully during the planning phase. “She’s even betting on him!”

You glance at Jade, who is practically glowing with smug anticipation. That should have been your first clue to intervene. Instead, you shrug and think, Eh, it’ll be fine.

It was, in fact, not fine.

When the announcement of the tournament goes public, the Balding Prince—bless his fragile ego—realizes he has a slight problem. Namely, the fact that he’s never held a sword in his life, let alone used one. Naturally, he comes crawling to you.

“I need a potion,” he demands, his tone somewhere between entitled and desperate. “To, uh, enhance my… swordsmanship.”

You lean back in your chair, trying to look unimpressed. “Oh, I don’t sell potions anymore,” you say airily.

The Prince glares at you, his bald spot gleaming under the room’s chandelier. “I’ll pay you.”

“You can’t afford me.”

“How about enough gold to fund your entire territory for the next twenty years?”

You sit up straight. “You drive a hard bargain, Your Highness.”

The potion you make for him is top-notch—for two hours. After that, well, let’s just say it’s going to be a long day for the Balding Prince.

The tournament goes about as chaotically as you expect. Jade, a genuinely skilled swordsman, carves his way through every round with ease. The Prince, meanwhile, is barely holding on, relying entirely on the potion to scrape by. Somehow, by sheer luck and Floyd’s endless meddling, the Prince manages to make it to the final round.

By this point, the Saintess is practically glowing with excitement, convinced her fiancé is about to cement his status as a legendary warrior. “He’s going to win for sure!” she squeals, clapping her hands.

You sip your tea, barely suppressing your smirk. Oh, sweet summer child.

The final round begins with Jade and the Prince stepping into the arena. The crowd roars with anticipation. The Saintess is preening in the stands, while the Empress looks vaguely mortified, as though she knows what’s about to happen but can’t stop it.

And then, right on cue, the potion wears off.

The Prince’s stance falters immediately, his grip on the sword going from “warrior” to “child holding a bat for the first time.” Jade doesn’t even have to try. One expertly placed strike sends the Prince’s weapon flying across the arena, and the match ends with the Prince sprawled on the ground, dazed and defeated.

The crowd erupts into laughter, and you’re pretty sure you see the Emperor facepalm.

To add insult to injury, the Emperor himself has to present the winner’s diadem to Jade. But instead of wearing it himself, Jade turns to you with a wicked grin.

“For you, my dear,” he says, placing the diadem on your head with a flourish.

The crowd loses it.

The Empress looks like she’s contemplating disowning her son on the spot. The Saintess bursts into tears and flees the arena, with the Prince stumbling after her, trying to explain his humiliating defeat.

You, meanwhile, stand in the center of the chaos, smiling peacefully.

“This,” you murmur, “is the best day of my life.”

The market was lively, the kind of lively that felt one loose cart wheel away from utter chaos. You’d gone there to buy something mundane—perhaps herbs, maybe a decorative pot, who even remembered anymore? What you did remember was spotting Azul, impeccably dressed as usual, standing at a stall that sold ornamental quills.

“Azul!” you called out, dragging Jade with you as you made your way over.

Azul turned, one brow arching as he spotted the two of you. “Ah, the duchess and her ever-present shadow. What brings you here?”

“Just window shopping,” you said vaguely, though Jade’s sudden fascination with terrarium accessories suggested otherwise.

One thing led to another, and before you knew it, the three of you were headed to a charming little café. It had the kind of ambiance that said, I’m wildly overpriced, but look at our aesthetic! Jade held the door open for you, and you stepped inside, marveling at the array of desserts in the display case.

You barely had time to settle into your seat when the atmosphere shifted.

There she was.

The Saintess.

You tried to ignore her, truly, but her obnoxious aura was as subtle as a bull in a porcelain shop. She was seated nearby, flanked by her entourage of lackeys. They whispered, they giggled, and they kept looking at you. You rolled your eyes and leaned closer to Jade and Azul, focusing on your conversation.

But peace, as usual, was not in the cards.

One of the lackeys—a girl who had the smug look of someone who thought her two brain cells were revolutionary—approached your table. In her hands was a steaming cup of tea, and the moment you saw it, a sense of foreboding settled over you.

And then, with all the subtlety of a villain in a children’s cartoon, she “tripped.”

The tea flew through the air in slow motion, a graceful arc of impending disaster. You braced for impact, but Jade moved faster. He stepped in front of you, shielding you from the scalding liquid. Most of it missed him, but a splash landed on his hand.

“Jade!” you exclaimed, grabbing his arm to inspect the burn.

Meanwhile, the lackey straightened herself up, not even bothering to fake remorse. “Oops,” she said, her tone so insincere it could’ve curdled milk. “It was an accident.”

“An accident?” you repeated, your voice rising. “You carried a boiling cup of tea across the room, aimed it at our table, and ‘accidentally’ threw it at us?”

She shrugged, her smirk widening. “My dad will pay for any damages. And you’re overreacting. It’s just tea.”

Overreacting? Oh, you were about to react, all right.

Azul, meanwhile, was unusually quiet. His tie had been stained in the splash zone, and his tight-lipped smile was beginning to look like it could crack glass.

The lackey continued, oblivious to the metaphorical storm clouds gathering over Azul. “Anyway, if you keep making a scene, it’ll just look bad for you. My dad’s pretty important, you know.”

“Oh?” Azul said suddenly, his voice as smooth as silk but with an edge sharp enough to cut steel. “And who might your father be?”

The lackey puffed up with pride. “He’s the finance manager for the duchess’s estate!”

There was a beat of silence. You exchanged a glance with Azul, and then your lips curled into a predatory smile.

“Azul,” you said sweetly, “guess whose daddy is about to lose his job?”

The ride back to your estate was tense—for you, at least. Jade sat calmly beside you, his hand resting on his knee, but you couldn’t stop fussing over his burn.

“Stop squirming,” you said, dabbing at his hand with a damp cloth.

“I’m fine,” Jade insisted, though his amused tone suggested he was enjoying your concern far too much.

“You’re not fine,” you retorted. “What if it scars? What if it gets infected?”

“Then I’ll have a mark to remember your attention by,” he said, his lips twitching into a half-smile.

You glared at him, but your fussing didn’t stop. By the time you reached the estate, you were practically vibrating with righteous fury.

The finance manager stood in your office, visibly confused.

“You’re fired,” you said bluntly.

His jaw dropped. “What? Why?”

You crossed your arms, your smile as sharp as a blade. “Ask your daughter.”

“What does she have to do with this?” he demanded, his face turning red.

“Everything,” you replied. “Guards, escort him out.”

He sputtered and protested, but you didn’t care. Justice had been served.

Later, after the physician had checked Jade’s hand and declared him fine, you collapsed onto the nearest couch, your exhaustion finally catching up to you. Without thinking, you ended up sprawled across Jade’s lap.

He stiffened, his hands hovering awkwardly before he cautiously placed one on your back to keep you from sliding off.

“Comfortable?” he asked dryly, though the faint pink on his cheeks betrayed him.

You hummed in response, already half-asleep. Within moments, your breathing evened out, and you nodded off.

Jade, for his part, was thoroughly smitten. His usual composure cracked as he replayed the day’s events—your fiery anger on his behalf, the way you’d fretted over his injury, and now, the way you looked so peaceful resting against him.

His fingers brushed a stray strand of hair from your face, and he allowed himself a rare, genuine smile.

“Quite the enigma,” he murmured to himself, already planning how to keep you close.

The ballroom was a spectacle of opulence. Chandeliers glittered overhead, casting soft golden light on the polished floors and the parade of nobles in their finest silks and velvets.

This was supposed to be a night of grand announcements, of declarations of love, and of the start of some “epic romance” that would undoubtedly be inscribed into the annals of history—or, at least, that's what the original novel promised.

But as you stood to the side with Jade and Floyd, it was evident that this version of events was hurtling off the rails.

Enter: the Duke of the North.

The poor man barely stepped into the ballroom before his eyes landed on the prince and the saintess. You could physically see the will to live drain out of him as his shoulders slumped, his gaze unfocused like he was calculating the fastest way to fake his own death and disappear into the wilderness.

It was almost pitiful. Almost.

The prince, meanwhile, had puffed up his chest and was grinning like he hadn’t recently been humiliated in front of half the kingdom. And the saintess—oh, she was trying, bless her delusional heart.

Smiling demurely, batting her lashes, and putting on a performance that might have worked if her reputation hadn’t already been stomped into the dirt by your carefully orchestrated chaos.

You leaned toward Jade and whispered, “I think the Duke’s trying to plot his own escape.”

Jade’s lips twitched in amusement, but he kept his usual calm demeanor. Floyd, however, cackled loudly enough to draw a few stares.

Then, the moment arrived: the prince stepped forward, his cape swishing dramatically as he raised his goblet. “Tonight, I announce my bride-to-be, the one chosen by the heavens themselves—the saintess!”

There was a smattering of applause, mostly out of obligation, but you were too busy watching the Duke. The man visibly sagged with relief, his shoulders dropping like he’d just been unshackled from a lifetime of servitude. You could practically hear the mental thank the gods echoing in his head.

And then, as if shedding the weight of the world, he turned on his heel and made a beeline—toward you.

You blinked, momentarily stunned as the Duke of the North, the supposed male lead, bowed deeply and extended a hand toward you. “Would you honor me with the first dance, my lady?”

You opened your mouth to decline, because this wasn’t in any script you remembered, but before you could utter a word, Jade smoothly stepped in.

“Apologies, Duke,” he said with his signature polite menace, “but she already promised this dance to me.”

Without waiting for a response, Jade’s hand found the small of your back, and he gently yet firmly guided you to the dance floor. The Duke was left standing there, his hand still outstretched, looking mildly bewildered.

“Don’t worry!” Floyd piped up, appearing out of nowhere. “I’ll dance with you!”

Before the Duke could protest, Floyd latched onto his arm and practically dragged him into a lively—and utterly chaotic—dance that looked like a mix of a waltz and a sparring match. The Duke’s expression alternated between horror and resignation, while Floyd grinned like he was having the time of his life.

You couldn’t help it—you laughed, the sound bubbling up uncontrollably as you watched the scene.

Jade glanced down at you, his expression softening as he took in your laughter. His usual cool demeanor melted for just a moment, replaced by something so tender it made your heart stutter.

The realization hit you like a lightning bolt.

Oh no. Oh no, no, no.

You were in love with him.

And not the “oh, he’s handsome and I tolerate his presence” kind of love. This was the “I want to spend my life laughing and dancing and plotting petty revenge schemes with you” kind of love.

The thought was overwhelming, and before you could stop yourself, you buried your face in Jade’s chest.

He stilled for a moment, surprised, but then his arms encircled you, holding you close as he continued to sway to the rhythm of the music.

He didn’t question it, didn’t tease you, didn’t even comment. Instead, he rested his chin lightly on top of your head, his voice low as he murmured, “Are you all right?”

You nodded into his chest, your cheeks burning as you clung to him like a lifeline.

As the music swelled around you, you felt his hand tighten slightly on your waist. When you finally peeked up at him, his gaze met yours, and there it was again—that look of unguarded adoration that made your knees weak.

It was, without a doubt, the best dance of your life.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the ballroom, the Duke of the North was being spun around like a rag doll by Floyd, who was cackling loud enough to echo off the walls.

You caught sight of the saintess in the corner, her smile strained and her fingers clutching her goblet so tightly it looked like it might shatter.

All was well in the world.

The ballroom was buzzing with conversation, the glittering chandeliers casting light on a gathering of nobles too caught up in their own intrigues to notice the storm brewing in one corner. That is, until a sharp, shrill voice cut through the air.

“You think you can just ruin my family and get away with it?” It was the girl whose arrogance had gotten her father fired. Her finger pointed straight at you, her expression a mix of fury and desperation.

The ballroom stilled as the girl pointed her trembling finger at you, her voice shrill enough to shatter glass. "You think you can destroy my family and just walk away? You're nothing but a tyrant with too much power and zero empathy!"

Her father, standing nearby, was frantically gesturing for her to stop. “D-Dear, perhaps we should—”

“Shut it, Father! I’m handling this!” she snapped, tossing her poorly styled curls over her shoulder. She turned back to you, eyes blazing. “Everyone should know what kind of monster you are. Workplace harassment! That’s right—I said it!”

Before you could even process the absolute absurdity of the accusation, the Duke of the North stepped forward like some knight in an overwrought romance novel.

“You will not speak of her in such a way,” he declared, his voice booming with righteous indignation. “The duchess is a paragon of nobility and grace!”

The crowd collectively oohed, but before you could roll your eyes hard enough to dislocate something, the Saintess shot to her feet, looking utterly scandalized.

“This man,” she hissed, gesturing wildly at the Duke, “didn’t even fight for me, his divinely chosen match, but now he defends her? A woman who flaunts her defiance of heaven’s will? Blasphemy!”

“Blasphemy?” you muttered under your breath. “Blasphe-you, lady…”

Unfortunately, the Balding Prince chose this moment to stumble into the fray. “Uh… Are we…arguing?” He puffed up his chest, desperately trying to seem relevant. “As prince, I demand order!”

You took one look at him, with his shiny scalp gleaming under the chandeliers, and decided he wasn’t even worth the effort.

Meanwhile, Jade, ever the picture of composed menace, sidled up to your side. His eyes locked onto the Duke’s hand, which was still resting on yours. With a polite but firm gesture, Jade brushed the Duke’s hand away as though it carried the plague.

The Duke looked affronted. Jade just smiled. But it wasn’t a nice smile. It was the kind of smile that promised future inconvenience.

You, however, had officially hit your limit. You stepped forward, raising your voice over the din. “Enough!”

The room froze. All eyes turned to you as you launched into your tirade, starting with the Saintess.

“You!” You pointed directly at her, ignoring the way her cheeks flushed with outrage. “Do you honestly think the universe revolves around you just because you’ve got a shiny necklace and a tragic backstory? Newsflash: It doesn’t. The only divine will I’ve seen is everyone’s will to avoid your self-righteous sermons. Go back to your prayer circle and spare us your dramatics.”

Her mouth opened in shock, but you were already turning to the Balding Prince.

“And you! Stop sending letters to my estate asking for potions to grow hair or stretch your bones. I’m a duchess, not a miracle worker, and no amount of magic can make you interesting. Get a personality—or at least a hat.”

The prince turned beet red, his hands twitching as though debating whether to flee or argue. You didn’t care.

You swung your gaze to the girl whose father you’d fired. “And as for you, congratulations. You’ve just confirmed that stupidity really is hereditary. Your dad didn’t lose his job because of me. He lost it because he was stealing more money than the royal treasury had left after your little shopping sprees. You’re lucky I didn’t throw both of you in jail.”

Her father, now sweating through his cravat, looked like he might faint on the spot.

Finally, you turned to the Duke. “And you. I appreciate the effort, really. It’s sweet that you think I need defending. But I’m not a damsel in distress. I don’t need saving. And, oh—” You reached out, grabbing Jade by the arm. “I happen to have a fiancé whom I adore. So maybe put your chivalry elsewhere.”

Jade, for his part, looked smug as he allowed himself to be pulled along, his composure completely unshaken.

The ballroom fell into stunned silence as you swept toward the exit. Then—

Floyd’s laughter broke through like a cannon blast. He doubled over, clutching his stomach as tears streamed down his face. “Oh my god—that was amazing—! Balding prince—hat—”

Azul smirked, hiding his amusement behind a gloved hand. “Well, that was certainly… enlightening.”

You didn’t even look back as you pushed open the grand doors. “Idiots, the lot of them,” you muttered.

As you exited the ballroom, you couldn’t help but glance up at Jade. He looked unusually pleased, his lips curling into a faint, satisfied smile.

“What?” you asked, narrowing your eyes.

“Nothing,” he said smoothly, though the twinkle in his eye said otherwise. “I simply find your methods... inspiring.”

The two of you made it past the grand doors before the realization hit you like a carriage with no brakes.

You had just declared, in front of everyone, that you loved Jade.

And he knew it. Oh, did he know it.

He walked beside you, his usual calm and collected demeanor now infused with an insufferable smugness. His smile was the kind that could sell snake oil to a herpetologist.

“Darling,” he said, his voice laced with honeyed amusement, “you’re unusually quiet. Cat got your tongue? Or perhaps you’re shy after your… heartfelt proclamation?”

You refused to meet his gaze. “Shut up,” you muttered, staring resolutely at the carpeted hallway like it held the secrets to the universe.

“Now, now,” he crooned, leaning closer. “Why won’t you look at me? Surely you wouldn’t deny me the honor of basking in the gaze of my beloved?”

Your face burned hotter than the ballroom chandeliers. You covered it with your hands. “Leave me here,” you said dramatically. “Leave me here to rot in peace.”

Jade chuckled, and it was the kind of sound that sent shivers down your spine—warm, teasing, and entirely too pleased. “Why on earth would I do that?” he asked, his tone deceptively innocent. “Especially when my beloved looks so… endearing in their embarrassment.”

You peeked through your fingers, ready to deliver some biting retort, but the words died in your throat.

Jade’s expression had shifted. He wasn’t just amused anymore—he was smitten. The way his mismatched eyes softened as they looked at you, the faint smile that carried more affection than smugness, the subtle tilt of his head like you were the most fascinating thing in the world—it was all too much.

“Stop looking at me like that,” you grumbled, your voice weak.

“Like what?” he asked, feigning ignorance as he gently reached for your hands.

You tried to resist, but he was insistent, pulling them away from your face with a tenderness that made your heart ache. Before you could think to stop him, he leaned in and kissed you.

It wasn’t just a teasing peck to rile you up—it was slow, deliberate, and completely disarming. You melted against him, any thoughts of resistance dissolving as you instinctively pulled him closer.

When you finally broke apart, breathless and slightly dazed, you couldn’t help but think that maybe—just maybe—this book wasn’t the irredeemable mess you’d always thought it was.

After all, it had given you him.

The decision to expedite the wedding wasn’t exactly born of romance. It was born of the Duke’s increasingly deranged letters, the last of which included a poem so long and melodramatic it might as well have been a novel in verse.

Jade, to his credit, only raised a single brow at your muttered curses as you ripped the latest letter into confetti. “Darling,” he said mildly, “perhaps this is a sign to finalize our own arrangements before our dear Duke decides to recite his poetry at your doorstep.”

You had agreed, of course, which led to your current predicament: drowning in swatches, floral arrangements, and pamphlets for curtains—curtains, of all things.

“This one feels too garish,” you muttered, holding up a deep crimson drape. “But this one’s too boring,” you added, pointing at a pale beige option. You groaned and flopped back in your chair, glaring at the wedding planner. “Why is there no middle ground? What am I paying you for?”

The poor planner looked like he wanted to crawl under the table and never come out. Before you could unleash more frustration, Jade plucked the pamphlets from your hands with infuriating ease.

“Enough,” he said, his tone firm but fond. “You’ll give yourself gray hairs fretting over curtains. We can always elope, you know.”

You gaped at him. “Elope?”

His smile turned mischievous. “Yes. A quiet ceremony in the woods, perhaps, with only the birds as witnesses. Far from meddling Dukes and curtain debates.”

For a moment, you almost entertained the idea. But then you shook your head, laughing softly. “I suppose I’m being a bit dramatic.”

“A bit,” Jade echoed, though his teasing lilt softened as he leaned down to kiss your forehead. “You don’t have to do this alone, my love. Delegate.”

The wedding planner, who had been cowering behind a stack of color charts, practically lit up. “Oh, yes! Delegate! Please, delegate!”

You sighed, leaning into Jade’s touch. “Fine. You’re in charge now.”

The planner looked as though he might fall to his knees and kiss Jade’s shoes in gratitude. Jade, ever the picture of elegance, merely chuckled.

“Excellent choice,” he said smoothly, guiding you away from the table of chaos. “Now, let’s find something far more enjoyable to argue about—like the wedding cake flavors.”

As you walked away, you couldn’t help but marvel at how easily Jade managed to turn your stress into something almost enjoyable. Perhaps rushing the wedding wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

The room was an over-the-top vision of wealth: chandeliers the size of small planets, flowers flown in from who-knows-where, and a cake so tall you were half-convinced Floyd could climb it and look smug doing it. Every noble in the kingdom was here, decked out in silks and sequins, pretending they weren’t secretly gossiping about you and your eel fiancé.

You barely noticed. Jade was standing in front of you, looking so unfairly ethereal you wondered if the universe had been playing favorites. His mismatched eyes were locked on yours, and his smile was small but so genuine you almost forgot your carefully planned vows.

Then, of course, chaos. Because how could anything in your life go smoothly?

From the back of the ballroom came a loud, wet, obnoxious wail.

“Oh, for the love of God,” you muttered under your breath, and Jade’s lips quirked in amusement.

“I LOVED HER FIRST!” the Duke sobbed dramatically, his voice shaking with the intensity of his grief.

“Shut your mouth before I shut it permanently,” Floyd snapped, his voice cutting through the crowd like a knife.

And if that wasn’t enough, you could faintly hear Azul’s oily, persuasive tone somewhere off to the side. “Yes, Lord Evermore, just a tiny signature on this insignificant little contract. You’re not using your soul for much, anyway, are you?”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, biting back a laugh. This wasn’t just a wedding—it was your wedding. Of course it was going to be chaotic.

But when you looked up, there was Jade, his gaze steady and full of a quiet devotion that made the rest of the madness blur into the background. His vows were perfect, as expected, and when it came your turn, you stumbled over the words a little, because how were you supposed to focus when he was looking at you like that?

Then came the kiss.

Jade dipped you in one smooth motion, his lips brushing yours with a tenderness that sent the room spinning. Applause erupted, and you swore you heard someone sniffling behind you.

“Is the Duke crying again?” you murmured against Jade’s lips.

“I believe Floyd threatened him,” Jade replied, far too amused.

“And Azul’s... oh no, is he signing contracts?”

Jade only smirked, kissing you again. “Should I be worried that you’re more interested in their antics than your new husband?”

“I’m not—wait, husband?” You blinked at him, the word sinking in, and for the first time in ages, you felt completely, blissfully happy.

As you stood there with your chaotic, ridiculous found family around you, you couldn’t help but smile. Sure, your life had taken a turn for the absurd, but if it brought you to this moment, maybe that cursed mushroom wasn’t so bad after all.

“Remind me to thank that mushroom,” you said with a grin.

Jade’s laughter was soft, warm, and entirely yours. “If it brought us together, I might build it a shrine.”

You laughed, pulling him closer. You’d faced chaos and conspiracies, chaos and hilarity, but in this moment, you couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

Trash Novel Masterlist

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[vandme12]

Wedded Bliss and Hit Lists - Killer Chat Wedding! Head canons! (Special for 100)

This is a small gift, 100 followers, I grew so soon. I'm so excited to do things for this fandom!

I love you all!

Ronin Beaufort!

The Proposal? Unhinged.

Traditional? Never heard of her. Ronin proposes in his way—dramatic, messy, and a little bit criminal. Expect a bloody heart scrawled on a wall with his crowbar, a ring slipped on your finger before you even notice, and a devilish smirk when you realize.

He doesn’t ask, he claims. “You’re mine, darlin’. ‘Til death do us part—if it even can.”

The Rings? Custom and Chaotic.

Of course, Angel helps him design them—gothic, blackened metal with a blood-red gemstone (or one that looks like it), and the inside is engraved with"R.B X (Your First Initial)” because he has no shame.

Yours is fancy, but his? He wears a thick band with a jagged design, and if you don’t put it on him yourself,

💀 Ronin as a Husband + The Day of the Wedding 💍

The Wedding Day: A Bloody Fairytale (His Way, Of Course)

Traditional? Nah. Ronin’s wedding isn’t some soft, white-veil affair—it’s a chaotic, adrenaline-pumping fever dream. Forget pastel flowers and quiet vows; he’s giving you black roses dipped in crimson and a blood-splattered ceremony in Purgatory (the alley where you shared your first kiss).

He insists on having the ceremony at midnight. Why? “C’mon, babe—if we’re doin’ this, we’re doin’ it right. No sun, all sin.” The whole place is lit by red neon lights and candles. Romantic in a rotting kind of way.

His outfit? Over-the-top. Black leather jacket, maroon ripped pants, and his usual chaos of accessories—but with a little touch of wedding flair: a silver chain around his neck engraved with your name, and a skull pin that says “’Til Death” on it.

Angel is the one who "officiates" the wedding—if you count her laughing through the ceremony and calling you both “unhinged lovebirds” as official. She’s wearing all white “to be ironic.” Ronin’s response? “If you ruin my moment, Angel, I'll bring my child."

Instead of a normal walk down the aisle, He carries you “Damn. If I wasn’t marryin’ ya, I’d be kidnappin’ ya.”

The Vows? Pure Chaos and Pure Him.

His vows are a mess—half confessions, half threats to anyone who’d dare touch you. “I promise to love ya, haunt ya, and maybe murder anyone who looks at ya funny. Or Kill ya/j”

He doesn’t get emotional easily, but when he says “No one else gets me, but you do—and I ain’t lettin’ that go, ever,” his voice dips just a little softer. It’s rough around the edges, like him, but so painfully sincere it’s almost too much to handle.

“Blood-red suits ya, babe.”

Reception? Think More Crime Scene Afterparty.

No boring banquet hall—he drags you to the rooftop of an abandoned warehouse, where he’s set up his version of a reception. Black leather couches, flickering red lights, and a playlist that’s just metal, punk, and songs that remind him of you.

The cake? Oh, it’s black, alright. A blood-red filling when you cut it open. He insists on smashing a piece in your face. If you try to get revenge, he just laughs and lets you.

When the first dance comes around, he pulls you close—no slow, sappy waltz. He dips you so low your back almost touches the floor, all while murmuring, “Can’t believe ya married me, sweetheart. You’re a little crazy.”

Ronin as a Husband: The Good, The Bad, and the Chaotic.

Clingy. Oh, he loves being married to you—and he’ll make sure everyone knows it. If you even try to go anywhere without a goodbye kiss, he’s pulling you back by your waist. “Where’s my kiss, Mrs. Devil?”

Pet Names? Relentless. "Darlin’," "Sweetheart," "My Little Heartbreaker," and—when he’s feeling extra possessive—“My Forever.”

Jealous not really! But! Anyone so much as flirts with you? They’re getting a look that could kill. If you tease him about being possessive, he just shrugs, “Course I am. What’s mine’s mine.”

Weirdly Domestic… In His Way.

Will absolutely make you breakfast—but it’s gonna be black coffee and pancakes shaped like skulls. Maybe Not, He's a okay-person in kitchen

He’s in charge of home defense, which means there are too many weapons hidden in your place. (Your couch? Knife. Your bookshelf? Crowbar.)

Anniversaries Are… Intense.

Every anniversary, he takes you back to Purgatory to “renew your vows” by carving a fresh bloody heart into the wall.

He gets you the most unhinged gifts: one year, he gives you a dagger with “Mine Forever” engraved on the blade. Romantic!

When You’re Sick?

Pretends he’s too tough to worry, but the moment you so much as sneeze, he’s fussing over you.

Brings you soup (even though he can’t cook) and sits at your bedside like a demon guard dog. “I ain’t leavin’ ‘til you’re better, babe.”

Fights? Loud. Dramatic. Always Ends in Kisses.

Arguments with Ronin are explosive. He’ll push your buttons on purpose, just to see if you’ll push back.

But if he thinks he’s really hurt you? He folds immediately. “Baby—hey, baby, c’mon. I didn’t mean it. You know I’m an idiot.”

Would He Die For You? Absolutely.

He wouldn’t hesitate. Your enemies are his enemies.

But really? He’s not afraid of dying—he’s afraid of losing you. “If you go first, babe, I’m followin’ right after ya. No question.”

Forever Means Forever.

Ronin doesn’t do temporary. When he said “forever,” he meant it. Whether you want to wreak havoc together or just spend quiet nights tangled up in each other—he’s there. Always.

And if anyone thinks they can take you from him? They’re in for a hell of a rude awakening.

“What’s mine stays yours, darlin’—and you’re stuck with me. Forever.”

When V finds out you and Ronin—the Ronin—are officially, legally (or maybe not-so-legally) married, his reaction is… complicated.

🖤 1. The Initial Reaction: Processing…

At first? Silence. Cold. Heavy. The kind that stretches on long enough to make anyone else squirm.

You tell him during a quiet night on the server—just a casual drop like, “Oh yeah, by the way, Ronin and I got married.”

For a full minute, he doesn’t respond. Not one word. Not even a blink emoji.

Then, finally:

V: "Married."

That’s it. One word. Flat. Clinical. Like he’s trying to figure out if this is some elaborate joke—or if the world’s truly gone off the rails.

🗡️ 2. The Overprotective Judgment™

Look, V isn’t stupid. He’s always known something was brewing between you two. He heard the flirting, the teasing—he’s seen Ronin’s obsession with you. He’d be blind not to.

But marriage? That’s another level of unhinged.

His next DM comes ten minutes later, and it’s direct:

V: “Is this a joke, or have you genuinely lost your mind?”

He doesn’t trust Ronin—not entirely. Not when the man’s idea of a romantic gesture involves blood splatter and sharp objects. And while V respects your choices… he’s concerned.

“You understand what you’re tying yourself to, don’t you?” he asks, voice colder than usual. It’s not disapproval—it’s caution.

👁️ 3. Watching Ronin… Closely.

From the second V learns about the marriage, Ronin becomes his #1 Surveillance Target.

He tracks his movements more. Listens to every conversation. If Ronin so much as breathes suspiciously around you, V knows.

If Ronin’s sweet? V thinks it’s manipulation.

If Ronin’s distant? V’s ready to interrogate.

And Ronin? Oh, he loves it. He knows V’s watching—and he plays it up. Texts you obnoxiously sweet things in the public chat just to piss him off:

Goreboy: “Missin’ my spouse already. Bet you’re sittin’ there lookin’ all cute, huh? 😘”

V? Seething.

Angel's reaction

1. The Initial Reaction: Stunned Silence (And an Immediate Drink)

When Angel first hears the news, she’s mid-photoshoot—some sleek, ethereal setup where everything is soft lighting and cold marble. Her phone buzzes with a notification from Luca (because, of course, he’s the one who spilled it to the whole server).

SURPRISE Y’ALL, DEVIL GOT WIFED UP 💍 @Goreboy @You

Her brain short-circuits. She actually calls a break. Angel, the perfectionist who never leaves a set, calls a break because her ex-turned-best-friend just got married without telling her.

And the first thing she does? Orders champagne.

If anyone’s getting drunk over this, it’s gonna be her.

2. Teases Ronin

She slides into Ronin’s DMs while waiting for her makeup touch-up, keeping it light, breezy—too breezy:

Angel: “Marriage? Really? Is this some new kink or are you serious?” Goreboy: “Relax, Mx goreboy will not be happy to see what you thought. I'm serious Angel."

Angel: “Ugh, That ring wasn't a joke..”

3. The Protective Big Sister Mode™

Angel sends you a DM next:

Angel: “Congratulations (I think). You sure you’re ready for that lunatic 24/7?”

You tell her you love him. That you’re happy.

And Angel feels happy for her friend...

4. The Girl Talk Interrogation

When you and Angel finally talk voice-to-voice, she’s sitting on her balcony, glass of wine in hand, night breeze tugging at her perfect curls. Her voice is too casual—the way it always is when she’s hiding how much she cares.

“So… tell me everything. Did he do some grand psycho thing? Blood hearts? A body? Knowing him, he probably thought a murder scene was romantic, huh?”

She laughs, but it’s not cruel. It’s just… Angel. Sharp edges wrapped in sugar.

But underneath, she’s asking the real question: Does he love you the way you deserve?

And when you answer—when you tell her how he looks at you, how he treats you like you’re the only thing in the world—Angel relaxes. Just a little.

Angel makes a public post in the server—for you—because that’s how she expresses love: loud, visible, undeniable.

"Congrats to the newlyweds. If @Goreboy screws this up, I’m personally throwing him into a woodchipper. 💋 #AngelApproved #WeddingOfTheYear"

Misaki's reactions!

💌 1. The Immediate Reaction: Absolute Chaos™

When Misaki finds out—because let’s be real, they didn’t get a formal announcement, Luca probably dropped it in the chat like a bomb—they lose it.

Luca: “Yo, @Goreboy got hitched. Someone check the apocalypse calendar.”

Misaki: “EXCUSE ME??? MARRIED?? LIKE LEGALLY?? WHO THE HELL ALLOWED THIS??”

Cue Misaki spamming the chat with caps lock, fifty cat memes, and alien abduction theories. Because if anyone was gonna get legally bound to Ronin, they figured it would be an interdimensional being, not a real person they actually know.

They’re not mad. They’re just deeply confused—and too entertained to stop.

💌 2. Instigating Maximum Drama™

Misaki immediately slides into your DMs with zero chill:

Misaki: “HOLD UP, YOU MARRIED THE DEVIL AND DIDN’T INVITE ME???” You: “It was… spontaneous.” Misaki: “Spontaneous is buying a weird energy drink at 3 AM, not legally binding yourself to the human equivalent of a horror movie jumpscare!!”

They are deeply offended they didn’t get to throw confetti or wear some ridiculous outfit to your wedding. In retaliation, they threaten to officiate a fake ceremony in the chatroom.

Misaki: “Second wedding. My rules. V’s the flower girl. Ronin wears a leash.”

And the scariest part? They’re dead serious about it.

💌 3. Confused… But Protective

Once the jokes die down (for about five seconds), Misaki takes a breath—and the worry kicks in. They may be playful, but underneath all that chaos is someone who actually cares.

Because they know Ronin.

And yeah, he’s fun, but he’s also… a lot. And they’ve seen how quickly things with him can go sideways if you aren’t careful.

So, they check in.

Misaki: “But seriously… you okay? He treating you right?”

When you tell them how happy you are, how Ronin’s been soft (well, as soft as he can be) and sincere, Misaki lets out a breath they didn’t realize they were holding.

💌 4. Becoming Your Self-Appointed "Marriage Consultant"

From that point on, Misaki takes it upon themselves to be your official marriage advisor, despite having no business doing so.

Misaki: “If he pisses you off, put glitter in his boots. No killer is scary when they sparkle.”

They send you relationship quizzes, offer weird gift ideas, and will absolutely text you things like:

Misaki: “If he ever forgets your anniversary, I’m legally required to assassinate him. Just saying.”

💌 5. Weird Wedding Gift Incoming

A week later, a mystery package shows up at your door. Inside?

A handmade knife (with both your initials engraved, because of course).

A mixtape labeled “Marriage Survival Guide” (track one is Olivia Rodrigo’s Bad Idea Right?).

A tiny alien plushie with a note: “If he acts up, beam his ass back to space. – Love, Misaki 👽”

💍 After-Wedding Ronin Headcanons 💀

🖤 1. "Husband" Privileges

Oh, you think Ronin is letting this slide quietly? No chance. The second those vows are said, it’s like he’s unlocked a new personality.

“‘Spouse’ sounds so boring—‘lover’ is better. But ‘husband’? Oh, babe, I’m gonna make that your favorite word.”

He abuses the title constantly—throwing around “husband” and “wife” or “spouse” in every context possible.

“Can’t argue with me, babe. Husband’s orders.”

“That’s ‘your devil husband’ to you.”

“You married me, sweetheart—this is legally your problem now.”

And he expects you to flex it, too. If you don’t show off the ring? He’ll make sure everyone sees it.

“Mx Y/n Beaufort.”

“This means you’re mine. No take-backs, sweetheart.”

He’ll tease, of course. Ask if you’re gonna run—if you regret it—but his grip when he holds you? That death-grip on your waist? Yeah, you’re not going anywhere.

💋 3. His Version of Domestic Bliss

Ronin’s not the white-picket-fence type—but he loves the idea of building chaos with you.

Late-night drives to nowhere, hands tangled on the gearshift.

he tells you the stories from his past.

Waking up with scissors on the nightstand and a love note tucked under your pillow.

“Rise and shine, lover—thought about murdering you in your sleep, but I’m sentimental now.”

He loves you, The next time he wakes up. He knows you're someone who won't discard his past. You will listen to it, He trusts you.

Angel

Angel as Your Wife – Wedding Day Perfection

Angel has always been the type to love love. She flirts like it’s second nature, teases with a wink and a smile, but underneath it all, she loves deeply, fiercely, without hesitation. And today—her wedding day—is the moment she’s been dreaming about since the day she realized forever with you was the only thing she ever truly wanted.

💍 The Proposal – The Moment She Knew

Angel is a romantic, but she also loves a bit of fun, so her proposal to you is an event. Whether she’s proposing to you or waiting for you to propose, it has to be memorable.

If she proposes, it’s spontaneous but perfect. Maybe it’s on a quiet rooftop under the city lights, her hands slipping into yours as she murmurs, “I never thought I’d find someone who could keep up with me, who’d see all of me and love me anyway.” Then she pulls out the ring, and for once, her teasing smirk softens into something more tender. “So, what do you say, sweetheart? Want to be mine forever?”

If you propose, she’s stunned—like genuinely breathless for a second, blinking at you before breaking into the brightest, most heart-melting smile. She tackles you in a hug before she even gets the words out. “Yes! Of course, yes! How could I ever say no to you?”

Either way, the moment the ring is on her finger, she’s already planning the wedding with stars in her eyes.

☀️ The Morning of the Wedding – Butterflies & Love Notes

Angel wakes up bouncing with excitement. She’s always been a morning person, but today, she’s practically glowing before the sun is even up.

Her first thought? You. She grabs her phone immediately, sending you a text: “Good morning, future spouse. I hope you’re ready, because in just a few hours, I’ll officially be yours. Nervous? Excited? Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll make sure you never regret saying ‘I do.’”

She sends you a little gift—maybe a handwritten letter filled with all the reasons she loves you, or a small locket with a picture of you both.

Despite being surrounded by bridesmaids and stylists, her mind keeps drifting to you. She keeps catching herself smiling in the mirror, twirling in her dress, wondering what your reaction will be when you see her.

👗 Her Look – A Vision in White

Angel has an eye for elegance, but she also knows how to make an impact.

Her dress is breathtaking—soft, flowing fabric that clings in all the right places, delicate lace details that shimmer under the light. She wants to look like a dream, and oh, she does.

Her makeup is just enough to enhance her natural beauty, with a soft glow and perfectly lined lips. She knows you love her smile, so she makes sure it stands out.

Her veil? Dramatic—because of course, Angel loves a touch of flair. But when she lifts it to kiss you, her eyes are locked onto yours, warm and full of love.

💌 The Ceremony – The Moment Everything Stops

When the doors open and Angel steps down the aisle, the entire world pauses.

Her eyes find yours instantly, and her teasing smile fades into something softer, more vulnerable. For once, she’s not flirting, not playing—she’s just looking at you, and the sheer love in her expression is enough to take your breath away.

She walks slowly, savoring every second, every step closer to you.

When she finally reaches you, she exhales a little laugh, whispering, “You look so good, my love. I almost want to skip the vows and kiss you now.”

And oh, the vows.

Angel speaks from the heart, her voice steady, but full of emotion. “I’ve spent my whole life chasing excitement, chasing passion. But then I met you, and suddenly, all I wanted was something steady—something real. You are my greatest adventure, my softest love, my forever. And I promise to be yours, every single day, for the rest of our lives.”

When the officiant finally says, “You may kiss the bride,” Angel does not wait. She throws her arms around you, pulling you in with a bright, breathless laugh before pressing her lips to yours in a kiss so deep, so full of love, that the entire crowd erupts into cheers.

🎉 The Reception – The Life of the Party

If the ceremony was emotional, the reception is pure fun. Angel is in her element—dancing, laughing, stealing kisses from you every chance she gets.

The First Dance: She pulls you close, resting her forehead against yours as you sway to the music. “Dancing with you feels like a dream,” she murmurs, “but you’re really mine, aren’t you?”

Feeding You Cake: She feeds you a bite with a teasing smile, but if you try to be playful and smear frosting on her nose? She gasps dramatically before grabbing you by the tie (or collar) and whispering, “You’ll pay for that later.”

The Bouquet Toss: Angel throws it over her shoulder without looking—and then winks when she sees who catches it.

🌙 The End of the Night – Just You & Her

As the guests start to leave, Angel finds you again, slipping her hand into yours.

She’s softer now, the excitement of the day settling into something deeper.

“Let’s go home,” she whispers, pressing a kiss to your jaw. “I’ve had you in front of hundreds of people all day. Now, I want you all to myself.”

The second the door closes behind you, she’s wrapping herself around you, sighing in relief. “I still can’t believe it,” she murmurs against your lips. “I get to be yours. Forever.”

And as she pulls you down into another slow, lingering kiss, it’s clear—this isn’t just the end of your wedding day. It’s the beginning of forever with Angel, your sweet, flirty, devoted wife. 💕

How V reacts!

V treats Angel’s wedding with his usual brand of stoic dignity—or at least, he tries to.

During the Ceremony: He watches silently from the back, arms crossed, dressed in an immaculate black suit. When Angel walks down the aisle, there’s the faintest hint of a smile—just a twitch at the corner of his lips. If anyone asks, he’ll claim he’s there to "ensure the institution of marriage isn’t a front for more criminal activity." But really? He respects Angel more than he lets on—and seeing her happy means something.

When Ronin Starts Teasing: V doesn’t engage—at first. But when Ronin drops his “consummate it” line, V glances over and mutters dryly, “It’s impressive how you can make anything sound depraved. A true talent.”

At the Reception: He lingers at the edge of the crowd, sipping sparkling water like it’s a stakeout. But when Angel pulls him onto the dance floor, he surprisingly doesn’t resist. He’s stiff at first—too controlled—but softens just enough to let Angel tease him into a spin. (He draws the line at twirling.)

When Angel Tosses the Bouquet: It practically flies in his direction. He catches it with one hand—then immediately hands it off to the nearest bystander with a curt, “No.”

When Saying Goodbye: His farewell is simple, but sincere. He clasps Angel’s hand briefly and says, “You deserve to be happy. Don’t let anyone take that from you.” And if his gaze lingers on her just a second too long… well, no one calls him out on it. Not even Ronin.

How Misaki Reacts!

Misaki treats Angel’s wedding like it’s the social event of the decade—equal parts chaos and genuine affection.

During the Ceremony: She’s sitting in the front row, legs crossed, wearing a pastel pink suit that’s somehow both adorable and deadly. She whistles low when Angel walks down the aisle and mutters, “Damn, girl—if your spouse backs out, I’m right here.” She’s definitely the one who claps too early when they’re pronounced married.

When Ronin Starts Teasing: Misaki cackles. Loudly. And, of course, she piles on: “Please, you know Angel’s gonna break them in, not the other way around.” She even fake-swoons and adds, “Wish someone would ruin me like that.”

At the Reception: She’s the first on the dance floor and the last to leave it. At one point, she grabs the mic and gives an impromptu, half-drunk toast: “Angel, babe—if your spouse ever breaks your heart, I’m legally obligated to commit murder. Just saying. Congrats, though!” She cries a little at the end but blames it on the champagne.

When Angel Tosses the Bouquet: Misaki dives for it like her life depends on it—elbowing anyone in her path. When she catches it, she holds it above her head like a trophy and yells, “I’M NEXT, BITCHES!”

When Saying Goodbye: She hugs Angel so tight it’s borderline suffocating. Her voice is soft, just for a moment, when she says, “I’m proud of you, y’know? You deserve all this happiness. Don’t mess it up"—but if you do, I’m still your ride-or-die.”"

How Ronin reacts!

Ronin treats Angel’s wedding like it’s both an opportunity and a game. He’s there to cause problems—but only the fun kind.

During the Ceremony: He shows up fashionably late, of course—wearing an all-black suit that’s too sharp to be legal. He slides into a seat next to Misaki, leans over, and whispers, “Think they’d let me object just for the drama?”

When Angel walks down the aisle, he whistles low under his breath and mutters, “Lucky bastard.” But when the vows start, for once, he’s quiet—watching with an unreadable expression. Maybe, just maybe, there’s a flicker of something softer in his eyes.

When It’s Official: The moment they’re pronounced married, he claps slowly and drawls, “Congratulations—enjoy the lifetime sentence.” But his smirk isn’t as sharp as usual. If anyone’s watching closely, they might catch the way he tilts his head—like he’s memorizing the sight of Angel happy.

At the Reception: He’s everywhere—stealing drinks, and stirring up chaos. When it’s time for speeches, he takes the mic without being invited.

"Angel, babe—I was gonna prepare a heartfelt speech, but let’s be honest, I’m here for the open bar. You’ve always had terrible taste—clearly, since you tolerate me—but somehow, you found someone crazy enough to love you. Don’t mess it up. Or do. I could use the entertainment.”

Of course, he flashes a wicked grin at Angel’s spouse and adds, “Good luck keeping up, sweetheart. You’re gonna need it.”

When Angel Tosses the Bouquet: He makes a show of dodging it, dramatically stepping out of the way while saying, “Marriage? Nah. I’d be someone’s worst nightmare.” But there’s a flicker of something else in his expression—an itch he won’t admit.

When Saying Goodbye: His voice drops lower, teasing but softer when he pulls Angel in for a private goodbye. “Don’t go getting all domestic and boring on me, yeah? But... if they ever break your heart—well, you know how much I love a good reason to kill.”

And Angel walks away, he lingers just a little too long—watching, smirk slipping into something harder to read. He's happy...That his Friend has someone...

💍 Angel as a Wife – Headcanons 💋

Flirty Forever: Marriage doesn’t tone her down—if anything, it dials her charm up. Angel flirts like it’s her full-time job, whether you’ve been married for a week or a decade. Random texts like “Thinking about you in nothing but that ring. Come home soon~” are her specialty.

Spoiling You Rotten: Angel firmly believes her spouse deserves the best of everything. She buys gifts “just because,” books surprise vacations, and insists on pampering you with everything from homemade breakfasts to spontaneous spa days. If you so much as mention wanting something, it’ll probably show up by the end of the week.

Ultimate Hype-Wife: Whatever you do, Angel is your loudest cheerleader. Big career move? She’s throwing a celebration. Minor achievement? She’s bragging about you to anyone who’ll listen. She’s the type to make “I’m married to the hottest, smartest, most amazing human alive” her whole personality—and she means it.

Touchy-Feely Queen: Angel thrives on physical affection. Expect endless kisses (especially when you’re distracted), back rubs after a rough day, and snuggling close whenever you sit down. If you try to leave bed without a goodbye kiss, she’ll whine until she gets her due.

Fights? Flirt Them Away: Arguments with Angel rarely last long—mostly because she’s too stubborn to stay mad and too charming to let you stay mad. She’ll tease her way back into your good graces with a smirk, a soft apology, and probably a well-timed kiss. “You’re not really mad, are you? C’mon, baby~”

Possessive but Playful: Angel doesn’t get jealous often—she knows she’s a catch—but she’s very clear about one thing: you’re hers. If anyone flirts with you, she’s right there, wrapping an arm around your waist and flashing a smile that dares them to try harder. “Aw, sweetie, you’ve got great taste—but they’re all mine.”

Wife + Best Friend Combo: She’s your partner-in-crime for everything—shopping sprees, Netflix marathons, late-night junk food runs. Life with Angel is never boring, and she’s always game for a new adventure, as long as you’re by her side.

Pet Names Galore: She cycles through affectionate nicknames constantly—baby, sweetheart, honeybun, love of my life. If you blush at a particular one, congratulations—it’s now your permanent title.

Over-the-Top Anniversary Queen: Every milestone is an event with Angel. First kiss anniversary? Fancy dinner. Wedding anniversary? Expect an elaborate romantic getaway. She lives for grand gestures and wants you to feel cherished every single day.

Soft, Secret Vulnerability: Beneath the playful exterior, Angel takes marriage seriously. She’s terrified of losing you or not being enough, though she rarely voices these fears outright. On quiet nights, when the world slows down, she’ll hold you a little tighter and whisper, “You’ll stay with me forever, right?”

🌙 Misaki’s Rooftop Wedding – Headcanons 🌙

Setting: A city rooftop at night—skyline glowing, a chaotic mix of neon signs and moonlight. It’s so them—a little messy, a little reckless, but undeniably full of heart. V handled all the preparations with his signature precision (and judgmental sighs), while Ronin and Angel add a sprinkle of chaos just for fun.

🎵 1. Wedding Vibes: Jazz, Chaos, and Cup Noodles

Misaki refuses a traditional ceremony—too stuffy—so the wedding is an informal, wild mix of their favorite things: jazz music blasting, neon lights glowing, and a makeshift altar made from stolen milk crates (Ronin’s touch, obviously).

Angel makes a playlist with Rina Sawayama and Olivia Rodrigo bops because “Misaki deserves a banger soundtrack.”

There’s a snack table… well, more like an entire section dedicated to cup noodles. V disapproves but lets it slide—this once.

🌟 2. Their Wedding Look: Streetwear Chic Chaos

Misaki does not dress traditionally. They rock a black-and-red themed wedding outfit—sleek but chaotic. Their usual worn striped shirt is swapped for a matching black-and-red blazer with the sleeves rolled up.

The lock on their red choker? Custom-engraved with your initials.

They stick to their star hair clips—because they’re a star, duh—but Angel gifted them a tiny wolf charm to wear on their boot. (“For your werewolf agenda.”)

V, with his perfectionism, tried to get them a “sensible” wedding ring—Misaki immediately swapped it for a cheap, heart-shaped plastic ring from a vending machine.

💌 3. The Vows: Silly, Sweet, and So Very Misaki

Misaki writes their vows on the back of a convenience store receipt (fitting, considering their broke assassin lifestyle). Despite the messy delivery, their words are raw and honest: “I never thought I’d make it to something as soft as this. You’re the one thing that makes all this chaos worth it. I’m yours—mess and all.”

They get flustered halfway through and throw in a joke: “If I die first, you get all my cup noodle stash. That’s real love, babe.”

🔪 4. How Everyone Reacts

V: Stoic but proud. He spent weeks planning everything and it’s…chaotic, but seeing Misaki happy softens his usual icy demeanor. At the end, he quietly pulls you aside and says, “Keep them safe. They deserve it.”

Ronin: Cannot stop teasing. Every time Misaki gets emotional, he’s whispering something like, “Aw, soft little killer’s gone domestic. Adorable.” But he means it—his chaos aside, he tells you in private, “Take care of our disaster, yeah?”

Angel: Is the emotional one, dabbing their eyes with a tissue and cheering the loudest when you kiss. They’re also the first to demand a dance party afterward.

🎁 5. The Gifts: Because It’s Misaki

Misaki’s love language is gift-giving—so, naturally, they hand you a handmade, weirdly adorable scrapbook of your relationship so far. Complete with doodles of them as a werewolf protecting you.

Your gift to them? A custom-made lock to replace the one on their choker—it opens with your fingerprint only. They’re OBSESSED.

💫 6. Post-Wedding Chaos

After the ceremony, Misaki pulls you into a rooftop dance—barefoot, giggling, spinning to a jazz remix of their favorite songs.

You both steal leftover cup noodles from the snack table and eat them sitting on the rooftop edge, feet dangling over the city. Misaki leans against you, sighing softly: “If aliens are real, they’d be jealous of this.”

Ronin insists on a “honeymoon prank spree,” while V pretends not to know any of you. Angel suggests a beach trip instead—Misaki loves the idea (mainly because they want to see you in a swimsuit).

Despite the chaos, the night ends with you tangled together under the city lights—Misaki’s head on your shoulder, murmuring: “I’m still a mess, but I’m your mess now.”

How Each would react!

🖤 V – The Reluctant Wedding Planner

Let’s be real—V did not want to organize this chaos, but Misaki (and you) asked, so he did it perfectly.

He handled the venue, the food (even if it was cup noodles), and made sure everything ran smoothly. Efficiency first.

While everyone’s goofing off, he’s quietly watching from the corner, arms crossed. If anyone dares to mess up the ceremony? They answer to him.

Emotional Reaction:

He won’t admit it, but he cares—a lot. Seeing Misaki genuinely happy softens his usual cold exterior. When you exchange vows, you catch the faintest twitch of a smile.

After the ceremony, he pulls you aside and says in his quiet, serious tone: “They’re fragile, even if they pretend otherwise. Don’t hurt them.”

Wedding Gift:

V gifts you both, What...He could. He makes sure, It's well-taken.

🔥 Ronin

Ronin shows up in the most absurd outfit—a sleek black suit, but the tie is covered in tiny cartoon wolves because "Misaki’s whole werewolf thing is iconic, babe."

He spends the whole night teasing both of you, leaning into Misaki’s ear during the vows to whisper: “Awww, soft assassin finally tied down. You’re practically domesticated now.”

Emotional Reaction:

Beneath the teasing, Ronin’s more sentimental than he lets on. He watches Misaki beam during the first dance and mutters to himself, “They deserve something good. Guess that’s you.”

He’s the first to make a dramatic toast, grinning like a devil: “If you break their heart, sweetheart, I’ll break your kneecaps. Fair trade, yeah?”

Wedding Gift:

A personalized lock-and-key set: the lock is heart-shaped and engraved with “Property of Y/N”—he hands it over with a wink.

Also sneaks an untraceable burner phone into Misaki’s gift bag because “You two will get up to crimes eventually. Might as well be prepared.”

💋 Angel

Angel is the emotional one—they’ve been waiting for this moment forever. When you both say “I do,” they’re openly crying while clutching a bedazzled tissue.

They personally decorate the rooftop with fairy lights and glowing stars (“Because Misaki’s a star, duh.”) and insist on a first dance under the neon lights.

Emotional Reaction:

Angel pulls you both into a tight hug right after the ceremony, voice thick with emotion: “You two are so freaking cute. If you mess this up, I’m divorcing both of you emotionally.”

They’re the first to drag you and Misaki to the dance floor, twirling you around while shouting, “Married life means more jazz, babe!”

Wedding Gift:

A scrapbook of all your chaotic group memories—half of it is glitter-covered, and there are way too many doodles of Misaki as a werewolf.

They also gift you a matching bracelet set, one that says “Killer Couple” because Angel is nothing if not dramatic.

💌 After Marriage Headcanons with Misaki 💌

Your life together is a mix of cozy chaos. Mornings are spent tangled in bed sheets because Misaki is not a morning person—good luck trying to pry them away from you.

Misaki insists on keeping your home aesthetic but comfy. Expect string lights, random trinkets from missions, and a million throw pillows because they like to “nest.”

They absolutely steal your clothes—hoodies, shirts, even socks. If it smells like you? It’s theirs now. Don’t fight it.

Home Setup:

Your place is a weird hybrid of a sleek assassin hideout and a cozy city apartment. Their bunker days are over, and you make sure they have a soft place to land after jobs.

Cup noodles still dominate the pantry, but they try to cook for you sometimes. It's… chaotic, but their enthusiasm is cute.

“I made dinner!” “This is three different flavors of instant ramen, babe.” “You love it.”

💖 Affection Overload

Misaki is clingy—but in a cute, touch-starved way. They’re always finding excuses to touch you, whether it’s holding hands, leaning on you, or cuddling in the middle of the day.

Surprise forehead kisses are their favorite weapon. They’ll catch you off guard, pressing a kiss to your temple while grinning, “Love ya, babe.”

When they’re anxious, they’ll find you and bury their face in your neck. Your touch calms them down faster than anything else.

Pet Names Galore:

You get a rotation of chaotic and sweet nicknames—"babe," "cutie," and their personal favorite, “My favorite human.”

If you call them a pet name? Instant blush. They act cool, but the minute you say something like “baby”—they melt.

🎁 Love Language: Gift-Giving

Misaki constantly brings you random gifts—they’re bad at expressing feelings with words, but their love shows in thoughtful gestures.

You get:

Tiny trinkets from their missions (“Look! I stole this cool keychain just for you!”).

Silly notes left around the house (“Don’t forget to eat, nerd.”).

Handmade playlists labeled things like “For when you miss me” or “Hot Assassin Vibes Only.”

🔫 Balancing Assassin Life & Marriage

They’re still taking contracts, but they work less after marrying you. You become their anchor—a reason to come home in one piece.

Whenever they’re out on a job, they text you constantly:

“Still alive. Miss ur face.”

“Bet you’re wearing my hoodie rn.”

“If I die, clear my search history. Love u 💀.”

You’re their emotional support after missions. When the weight of their work gets heavy, you’re the one they fall apart with—and you never judge them for it.

🎶 Random Marriage Shenanigans

Dance Breaks: Random jazz-fueled dance parties in your living room. Misaki will literally grab your hand mid-task and spin you around while singing off-key.

Aliens Exist, Fight Me: They are obsessed with alien documentaries and will drag you into deep conversations at 2 AM.

“Babe, what if we’re just, like, an alien reality show?”

“Misaki. Go to sleep.”

Pet Parenting: One day, they adopt a stray cat and name it “Murderbean.” Misaki spoils it rotten. Murderbean likes you best, and they’re jealous.

🌟 Soft Vulnerability

Marriage makes them softer—with you, at least. You’re the only person they feel safe enough to let their guard down around.

On bad days, they curl up beside you, murmuring, “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” They mean it.

They still struggle with anxiety, but knowing they have you makes it easier. When they get overwhelmed, you hold them until their breathing steadies.

💍 Forever Vibes

They talk about the future like it’s inevitable—with you, it is. Misaki jokes about retiring and opening a record shop with you one day.

“As long as I’ve got you, babe, I’m good.”

If you’re ever away for too long, they’ll dramatically drape themselves across the bed and text you, “Come home. I’m dying. No one else makes cup noodles like you do.”

V

🖤 V’s Proposal

V’s proposal isn’t grand or flashy—it’s intimate, deliberate, and entirely him. For a man who sees himself as a protector of justice, promising forever to you is a vow he takes more seriously than anything else.

📖 The Moment It Happens:

It starts with small changes—V’s usual hyper-focus on his work begins to shift. You notice how often he lingers at home, how his fingers brush against yours more often, and how his rare humor comes easier when you’re near.

One night, after a long evening, he finds you sitting on the balcony watching the stars. He doesn’t speak immediately—he just stands there, as if memorizing how you look under the moonlight.

Without his usual tactical armor, he seems softer—like the edges of his sharp moral code dull when he’s with you.

He kneels, smooth and controlled, and extends a small, hand-carved wooden box. You can tell he made it himself—polished oak, edges crisp and precise. No waste. Nothing careless.

Inside is a delicate ring—a silver band shaped like intertwining vines, with a small gemstone nestled between two silver birds in flight.

His voice—steady, low—breaks the silence:

"A lifetime isn't enough to repay what you’ve given me. But if you'll have me, I'll spend every day trying."

💍 How He Handles Your Response:

The moment you say "yes," V’s composure wavers—just a little. His breath hitches; his fingers tremble as he slides the ring onto your hand.

He doesn’t waste words—but the look he gives you is fierce, unyielding. The kind of gaze that says you’re not just his partner—you’re his reason.

When he pulls you into his arms, there’s a gentleness in his touch that no one else ever gets to see. And he lingers—always lingers—because holding you feels more like home than any place he’s ever known.

🕊️ Your Wedding Day – A Sanctuary of Wings 🕊️

V isn’t a man who does things halfway—your wedding is no exception. Every detail reflects his principles: kindness, minimal harm, and a world where every life matters.

1. The Venue – A Bird Sanctuary Paradise

The ceremony is held at a sprawling wildlife reserve—a bird sanctuary he’s been quietly funding for years

The setting is breathtaking: a secluded meadow surrounded by towering trees, soft petals scattered underfoot, and the air filled with birdsong.

Aviaries open during the ceremony, allowing rescued birds—doves, swallows, and finches—to fly freely above the altar.

2. V’s Wedding Attire – Sleek, Minimalist Elegance

He’s all sharp angles in a custom black suit—tailored to perfection. No gaudy embellishments—just clean, elegant lines.

Around his lapel, a silver pin shaped like a raven’s wing—your private symbol.

But when you approach? His expression softens, his usual cold restraint cracking beneath the warmth he saves for you.

3. The Ceremony – V’s Vows

V’s vows are short—but every word is deliberate, and his voice holds no hesitation.

"I’ve walked through a world of violence, always alone. Until you."

"Your kindness—the way you see the world—changed something in me. You remind me why I fight. Why life matters."

"I vow to protect you. To stand beside you. And if you’ll let me—I’ll make every moment worth it."

When he slips the ring onto your finger—a matching silver band etched with the wings of a dove—you see the faintest tremor in his hand.

Because for all his composure, this moment matters to him more than any mission he’s ever taken on.

4. Animal-Friendly

No leather, no silk—every material is cruelty-free. =

Instead of traditional confetti, guests toss biodegradable wildflower seeds—so the meadow will bloom with color long after the wedding is over.

Rescue animals from the sanctuary are honored guests—V even arranges a surprise for you: an owl you once admired during a visit flies in during the ceremony with a silk ribbon carrying your rings.

5. How V Reacts Seeing You Walk Down the Aisle

The moment you step into view, V—who’s always so composed—freezes. For once, his calculating mind is quiet.

His lips part slightly, breath catching. And when your eyes meet? The rest of the world ceases to exist.

He doesn’t realize he’s clenched his fists until his knuckles turn white—like holding himself back from rushing to you.

And the closer you come, the softer his expression grows—by the time you reach him, his hands are already outstretched, steadying you as if you’re the most fragile, precious thing he’s ever known.

6. The Reception – A Quiet Celebration

V doesn’t like big crowds, so your reception is an intimate gathering. Close friends, the sanctuary staff, and (of course) the Killer Chat gang.

He ensures all donations from the guests go directly to the bird sanctuary—your wedding doesn’t just celebrate your love; it leaves a lasting legacy of kindness.

When you dance together for the first time, V is surprisingly graceful. But his focus isn’t on perfect steps—it’s on you. Every touch, every glance is full of quiet adoration.

7. After the Ceremony – A Private Moment Just for You

When the guests drift away, V leads you back to the aviary—where a newly rehabilitated falcon spreads its wings, ready to take flight.

You release the bird together, watching as it soars free. His fingers lace with yours, voice low:

"Freedom matters. But so does choosing where you want to be."

And as the bird disappears into the sky, he turns to you—lips brushing against your temple—and murmurs the words he never thought he’d have reason to say:

"I choose you."

Reaction!

Ronin

“Awww, our little edgelord grew a heart.” The moment Ronin hears about the wedding, he’s insufferable. Absolutely unbearable. He shows up just to stir the pot—grinning like the devil, all sharp teeth and bad intentions. From the second he lays eyes on V in his formal wear, he’s got jokes. “Didn’t think you’d live long enough to settle down, bro. What’s next? A white picket fence? Little masked brats?”

Flirting with You—Just to Poke the Bear: Ronin doesn’t miss a single opportunity to tease. The second he catches you alone, he’s all smooth lines and mock flirtation, just loud enough for V to hear. “You sure you wanna lock yourself down, sweetheart? I mean, icy’s fine and all—but I come with fireworks.” He always flashes a wink right before V steps in—because what’s life without a little danger?

Messing with V’s Image: He makes it his mission to chip at V’s ever-serious persona. At the reception, he leans in to whisper (way too loud), “Can you believe it? V—Mr. Justice himself—married. I thought the only thing he’d ever commit to was brooding in alleys.” He’s fully prepared to dodge a punch if necessary.

To You—Half Serious, Half Joke: When things settle down, Ronin pulls you aside. For once, his voice softens—just a little. “Look, V’s a pain in the ass, but he’s not all bad. And trust me—he’ll go down swinging for you.” Then, with a wicked grin, he adds, “Still… if he gets too boring, you’ve got my number.”

Brotherly Concern—In His Own Way: Beneath the teasing, there’s a glimmer of something real. As you’re about to leave, he catches you both one last time. His usual smirk fades—just a bit—and he says quietly, “Take care of him, yeah? He acts like he doesn’t need it, but…” He trails off, then adds with a grin, “If he ever gets too serious, I’ll come mess him up for free.”

Post-Wedding Shenanigans: Ronin does not let V live it down. Anytime he’s in the chat, he’s dropping lines like:

“Hey, husband-of-the-year, how’s married life?”

“Y’know, I always knew you had a soft spot. But this? This is adorable.”

“If you two have a fight, just send them my way—I give killer marriage advice.”

But Deep Down… He won’t admit it, but seeing V happy? It kinda warms the shriveled thing he calls a heart. Not that he’d ever say it. But if anyone dared threaten your happiness, they’d have two monsters to deal with—because as much as he loves to mess with V, no one else gets to touch his “bro.”

✨ Misaki and Angel Reacting to V and You Getting Married ✨

🗡️ Misaki’s Reaction (The Agent of Chaos)

“Wait—you mean, V? That V? Mr. No-Fun?” When they first hear the news, Misaki is in utter disbelief. They dramatically gasp, clutching their chest like it’s the most shocking thing they’ve ever heard. “I thought V was married to his moral code! You’re telling me he found someone who willingly deals with that?”

Relentless Teasing—With Love: They spend the entire wedding day bouncing between genuine support and pure mischief. During the ceremony, they lean over to you and whisper, “Blink twice if you need rescuing. I know a guy.” Then, to V: “Wow, you actually smile. Who knew you had human emotions?”

The Chaos Gift: Misaki’s wedding gift? Pure trouble. It’s either:

A matching set of “Justice” and “Chaos” mugs.

A framed photo of V looking broody with a glittery heart drawn around it.

A lock-picking set labeled “For when V’s rules get too much.”

Low-Key Soft About It: Beneath all the teasing, they’re actually kind of touched. At the reception, when you’re not looking, they tell V, “You better treat them right, or I’ll break every bone in your body—lovingly, of course.” And to you? “If you need a break from the broody husband life, call me. I’m way more fun.”

💋 Angel’s Reaction (The Sweetheart Femme Fatale)

“Aww, my cold little knight found love? Be still my heart.” Angel is delighted. She always suspected there was a soft center under V’s icy exterior, but seeing him actually marry someone? She’s practically glowing with joy for both of you.

Supportive with a Side of Flirt: During the wedding prep, she offers to help with anything you need—while slipping in teasing comments. To you: “If he ever gets too broody, I’m just a call away. I’m excellent at… distracting.” And to V: “Be nice to them, darling. You may scare everyone else, but I’ve got claws too.”

Her Wedding Gift—Elegance Meets Mischief: Angel’s gift is both thoughtful and playful—something like:

A luxurious couple’s spa day voucher (because she knows V needs to unwind).

A sleek dagger set engraved with “For better or worse.”

An elegant framed photo of you two with a handwritten note: “True love is rare—don’t mess it up, darling.”

Protective Big Sister Vibes: She may flirt and tease, but her protective side comes out in quiet moments. She pulls you aside to say softly, “You make him happy. I see it. But if he forgets how lucky he is? You know where to find me.”

After the Wedding – Life with V as Your Husband

V doesn’t just see marriage as a title—it’s a vow, a binding promise he takes as seriously as his work. Being his spouse means you’ve broken through walls no one else ever has, and now? He’s yours—entirely, irrevocably.

1. The Home You Share – A Haven of Quiet Comfort

V custom-builds a home on the edge of a nature reserve—secluded, quiet, and surrounded by wildlife. Large windows let you watch birds and animals roam freely, while the interiors are sleek but warm.

The house is eco-friendly—everything sourced ethically, with minimal environmental impact. Solar panels, rainwater collection, the whole thing—V doesn’t do anything halfway.

Despite his cold image, your shared bedroom is a place of warmth. Soft lighting, heavy blankets for nesting together, and an ever-present sense that this is where he feels safest—by your side.

2. The Way V Loves – Fierce, Silent, and Unyielding

V isn’t traditionally affectionate, but when it’s just the two of you? He melts.

His touches are feather-light—fingertips brushing your hair back, a hand resting protectively on your lower back, or a thumb tracing over your wedding band when he thinks you aren’t watching.

You become his anchor. After every night patrol, no matter how tired, he always comes home to you—sometimes slipping into bed without a word, but his arms wrap around you tight, like he’s making sure you’re still there.

He notices everything. If you’re cold? He’s draping his coat over your shoulders. Tired? He’s already running you a hot bath. Sad? He doesn’t offer empty words—he offers presence, grounding you with quiet care.

3. V’s Domestic Quirks – Things You Discover After Marriage

Early Mornings Together: V’s a painfully early riser—he likes to meditate or train before dawn. But on rare days off? He stays in bed longer just to hold you.

His Tea Ritual: He has an entire shelf dedicated to obscure herbal teas. No matter what mood you’re in, he has a blend for it—especially if it soothes you.

Silent Acts of Love: Flowers aren’t his thing—but he fixes broken things without being asked. Keeps your favorite snacks stocked. Learns every little habit you have and quietly accommodates them.

4. Protective to a Fault – But He Trusts Your Strength

He never stops being your protector—but he never underestimates you. If you want to be involved in his work or his world, he doesn’t hold you back.

Still, if anyone dares to threaten you? He’s not forgiving. There are no warnings—only consequences.

He checks in, always. If you’re out late, you’ll find a simple message on your phone: “Are you safe?”

5. Intimacy – The Soft Side No One Else Sees

V isn’t loud about his affection, but behind closed doors? He’s endlessly gentle.

He craves your touch more than he admits. A hand tangled in his hair while he works? Instantly soothes him.

If you kiss him before he leaves on patrol, he lingers longer than he should—like he doesn’t want to pull away.

After difficult nights, he doesn’t ask for comfort outright—but the way he clings to you in his sleep says everything.

6. Jealous? Not Exactly—But…

V isn’t the type to get jealous easily—he knows your heart belongs to him.

That said, if someone flirts with you? He won’t say anything—but his presence shifts. Colder. Sharper. And the offender usually backs off without him needing to lift a finger.

Ronin loves teasing him about this—“Careful, Angel. If you break his heart, who’ll keep the streets clean?”—and V’s usual stoicism cracks just a little when you smile at him in response.

7. Building a Future – With You, There’s Always Hope

Despite his heavy worldview, being with you brings light into his life. He wants a future with you—and he allows himself to dream of one.

He secretly wonders if you’d want to foster rescue animals—or maybe even kids someday. He’d never push, but if you bring it up? He’s already imagining filling your home with life.

Whatever path you choose, V’s vow remains the same: “I’m yours. For as long as you’ll have me.”

[belovedenzo]

the kings of hogwarts // slytherin boys headcanons

various headcanons; appearance/style, social stance/relationships , pet peeves, favorite things, fun facts.

characters; Theodore Nott, Mattheo Riddle, Lorenzo Berkshire, Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zambini, Tom Riddle

words; 3.7k

warnings; cussing, sfw other than that? I think? suggestive maybe

notes; these are all my opinions so if they aren't accurate to you that's okay! If you want more various headcanons, comment some ideas and i'll make it happen :). please enjoy! reposts, likes and comments keep me motivated to make more. thank you guys for all the love on my other stories so far!

taglist; just tagging people I like! If u don’t want to be tagged please lmk! @shyamanuensis @riddlesbunny @redeemingvillains @nottsamor @nottsbaby @nottsluvv @nottsangel @riddleswhcre @enzosbabyangel @enzoberkshiresonly-deactivated2 @nottslove @nemesyaaa @obsessedwithceleste @prythiansprincess @anawritez-posts @riddlesrizzler

Theodore Nott

appearance/style;

6ft1

broad with decent muscle tone 

light chartreuse eyes

Few scattered freckles. Iconic freckle below left eye 

Light brown hair with body

A natural kubrick stare with a twist of gentleness

Sharp incisors

innocent smiles and shy grins (it’s a stick up)

doesn’t wear a lot of jewelry- occasionally a ring on his left hand

Outside of his uniform he sticks to simple colors for his clothes- beige, black, white, tan, navy, dark brown, etc.

Definitely gold over silver 

Always wearing the nicest shoes- shoes are his favorite accessory

Watch on the right arm when it’s a fancy event because he’s left handed

Wears a lot of sweaters in the winter 

social stance/relationships;

Silent but deadly. He may not cause a fight for the thrill of it like Mattheo will, but he will support and instigate his best friends angsty behavior. His naturally sweet looking face can quickly become mincing- his main tactic of intimidating his enemies and naysayers. 

Most people think he’s meaner than he is. He actually stays mostly in his own lane if it isn’t to back up the rest of the boys or join in on chaos one of them already caused. 

They are all players, sure- but Theo is kinda mean about it. Rather heartless with his hookups and doesn’t ever keep the same one for long. Romantic feelings are something he doesn’t really feel or act on. 

May be on the more cold side with girls but keeps their personal info to himself. Even to his friends he doesn’t brag or talk about it that often. 

People who do get the opportunity of being Theo’s friend say that he is very funny and has a dark sense of humor

Comes off as a lone wolf to the rest of the school- but can also very often be seen with his best friend Mattheo

Will actually stand up for the little guy- especially if on his own. If he thinks something is unfair he will call them out

Thinks that Lorenzo is the funniest in their group but tells Mattheo it’s him to make him feel better

Let’s the boys think he isn’t totally in charge of most of their affairs

Mattheo is his best friend- he thinks he’s the coolest and gets along with him the most out of any of the boys 

Him and Enzo butt heads a lot but he does love him very much

Goes to Blaise and Tom when he needs good advice or just to vent to smart people

Finds himself feeling jealous of Draco and his ability to not give a fuck (little does he know…)

pet peeves;

While he does engage in bullying with the rest of the boys he thinks Draco goes way too far sometimes. It gets on his nerves and sometimes does say something

Love and romance in any way. If he feels like any girl is catching feelings he gets the ick and leaves sooner than he would have anyways 

Hates it when Mattheo blows cigarette smoke to close to his face even though he smokes too

Thinks Enzo brags too much about himself but has never said anything 

Also thinks Enzo can talk too much in general sometimes…

If a girl he likes seems more interested in any of his friends he gets jealous. This happens with Mattheo the most and can cause them to fight

favourite things;

Alone time- as much as he loves his friends he actually does love chill time alone sometimes

He likes parties just as much as the rest of them but for him it’s because he can get super fucked up- he’s there for the muggle weed and alcohol

Potions. Out of all his classes he actually finds making potions kind of fun- his favorite classmate to make potions with is Pansy because she’s actually good at it

More into smoking than drinking- loves muggle weed. He’s always in charge of bringing it to the their smaller get togethers

Crystal Castles- if that band existed he would love it

Spicy food

Painting- even though he thinks he’s terrible at it

Hanging out with Mattheo

Early morning hours 

Skirts on girls

fun facts;

Actually speaks Italian and some Spanish 

He can out-smoke any of the boys (yes even Mattheo)

Pansy has a huge crush on him 

He never remembers his dreams 

Has dyslexia

Mattheo Riddle

appearance/style;

5ft10

Lean but prominent muscle tone

Chocolate brown eyes 

Long eyelashes

dark brown hair- lightly curly

Dough eyes

Very charming grin- but mischievous 

Wears various bracelets and a pinky ring on his left hand constantly

Mostly dark colors. Loves jackets even when not in uniform

Mostly silver, but likes gold

There’s a few rings and bracelets that he wears the most- almost every day. They are subtle but iconic

Watch on his left arm because he’s right handed

Too scared to pierce his ears

Actually likes fashion and thinks about it when he gets ready

social stance/relationships;

Terrible reputation. Known for his rude words and tendency to get into physical fights. This has a lot of people on his enemy list

He and Draco are the worst about how they treat other people in and outside of their house. He has no respect for people that feel less than him

One of the worst players- but has a select roster he mainly goes to. They are wrapped around his pinky

Can and has felt romantic feelings but never acts on it. Hides his desire to actually love someone. Thinks that would make him too vulnerable

While Draco is egotistical- Mattheo is rude for other reasons. He’s pessimistic and does it to get attention

Secretly wants validation but continues to worsen his reputation by acting out 

Thinks Theo is the funniest and the coolest. He loves his dark sense of humor. They bounce off of eachother well 

Let’s Theo think he’s in charge but it’s so obviously him- right? (right-)

While his best friend is Theo- he is also very close with Enzo

Him and his brother Tom butt heads a lotttt, they get into a lot of disagreements. He secretly loves him a lot 

Also quite close to Draco. They can relate in some ways even if they won’t admit it

Goes to Blaise when he needs advice or even when logic needs to be talked into him

All of his friends know that he is secretly super sweet and caring but outsiders don’t and he likes it that way

pet peeves;

Tom’s lack of empathy. And his lack of interest towards getting with girls- he thinks that is odd

When Tom won’t hang out with them because of an academic reason- also thinks that is odd

When a girl stops showing interest in him in any way- or if they’ve replaced him. If it’s one of his friends he’d freak

He hates all of his friends music taste. They don’t listen to good music. He thinks very highly however of his own music taste

Tests of any kind

If any of his friends take Tom’s side during one of their fights he gets super mad and it secretly hurts him a lot

favorite things;

The smiths- he would listen to the smiths a lot and I will die on that hill

The specific brand of cigarettes he smokes daily

Quidditch- Lorenzo is his favorite team mate because he’s quick

Confrontation 

Music

Attention, positive or negative 

A total night person, especially as it gets colder

Sour candy 

Reading tragic romance stories 

Horror movies

Hanging out with Theo

fun facts;

Thinks he can out-smoke Theo (he can not)

Has really crazy dreams and a hard time sleeping 

Gets seasonal depression really bad

Hates the smell of coffee but still drinks it

Has had multiple secret real gf’s that only Theo knows about

Lorenzo Berkshire

appearance/style;

6ft4 (the tallest)

Long limbs- lean. But shockingly strong, sleeper build

Amber brown eyes

Sharp jawline

A natural Kubrick stare- mean case of resting bitch face

Dark brown hair- kept on the longer side

Shows his emotions on his face through his expressions

Likes necklaces, long ones underneath his clothes. Likes rings and earrings which he wears most of the time

Mostly gold but likes silver as well

Outside of his uniform he wears a lot of pastel colors, purple and green being his favorite. Also really likes dark purple and green. Gem tones

Watch on both arms, mixed with chunky bracelets (for fancy events)

Everyone says he had really beautiful hair and he secretly always makes sure it is (he loves his hair)

Social stance and relationships;

Known as the schools biggest whore. But in a good way?

Even though he can actually be the worst- he has a good reputation. His ability to charm and seem innocent has helped him get away with a lot of things 

Generally one of the most liked out of the boys around the whole school. People fear him least and actually really want to be friends with him

Either that or they have a huge crush on him

He comes off as much more sweet than he… can be

He uses girls very disposibley. He really makes them feel like he really likes them though. He’s great at pretending to get what he wants

All of his friends know one of the worst thing about him is his habit of lying 

Over the years girls have gotten the gist of what kind of guy he truly is but it still stays rumor around school because of how well liked he is 

Treats everyone in the group like they are his best friends- but it’s probably actually Mattheo

He knows that Theo can find him annoying but thinks that’s funny. Even does it on purpose sometimes for entertainment 

Draco is his cousin and another close friend of his but secretly envy’s him because he thinks the boys like Draco more than him

Becomes the most mischievous when with Mattheo. They can act like major dicks together

Likes to hit on girls with Blaise

Goes to Tom about school stuff he struggles with. He’s not that great with academics

While he can be cold in some ways to others- with his friends he can be quite emotional 

pet peeves;

He hates that he feels the need to be perfect all the time but never can be 

It irks him that everyone thinks Mattheo is some hooligan when he’s really not 

While he likes smoking cigarettes- he thinks they all smoke too much

He has a lower tolerance and hates that he’s always the first to be super drunk 

Waking up in the morning. Always wakes up in a terrible mood until he wakes up 

Out of any of the boys he has the most patience overall

favorite things;

Getting drunk and partying. He gets invited to everything 

Having people fawn all over him. He likes that so many people like him

Flirting with other guy’s girlfriends to piss them off

Quidditch- loves playing with Mattheo and Draco

Muggle weed. Also has the lowest tolerance with that 

Hugging Draco 

Fruit. Blueberries are his favorite 

Deftones. He’d feel so cool while listening to them 

Luna Lovegood. He thinks she’s freaky in a good way

fun facts;

Has the deepest voice out of all the boys

Can run faster than anyone else at Hogwarts

Has really bad OCD 

Out of any of the boys he is most susceptible to substance abuse. Terrible addictive personality 

He hates his family and only talks about growing up with Draco 

Draco Malfoy

appearance/style;

6ft even

White blond hair 

Striking, light blue eyes

Long and lanky. The skinniest out of them

Sharp angular features

Also has resting bitch face but on purpose 

Loves jewelry- but classy jewelry and not all the time. Mostly necklaces 

Silver and silver only

Wears a lot of dark clothing- also likes gem tones. But mostly black white and grey’s

Mostly gets comments on how blonde his hair is and how bright his eyes are. Has soul staring blue eyes

Black is his most iconically worn color fs

Watch on his left because he’s right handed. Actually wears it every day

social stance/relationships;

A total asshole. Just less physically than Mattheo. He may not pick a physical fight but he does bully a lot of people- he’s rude and intitled. Says hurtful things

Known for his high ego and over privileged personality

People don’t understand how him and Lorenzo are even related 

Does pull girls but isn’t as good as the others are at it- is filled with too much hate (lol… no actually)

Everyone wonders how he gets good grades because he never pays attention. It’s because he’s actually super smart

Him and Tom get along really well. They actually have a lot in common and hang out a lot

Blaise and Lorenzo are the ones that know more of his vulnerable and emotional side, being there since the beginning

Mattheo and him really feed off one another and are a very feared couple when together (no one is safe). They fuel each others egos 

Actually really loves Theo. Has always had an extra soft spot for him and has wished he could be him

He envy’s how cold Tom actually is. Draco hides a lot of his pain in a fake persona

He actually had real gf’s. A few long term ones even

Out of all the boys he trusted Blaise first. Lorenzo introduced them

pet peeves;

Everything? No literally- he has a very short fuse

Speaking of short fuse- his friends like to use that against him and rile him up for fun. He hates that

Being disrespected. He will actually become a Karen if he has to- no body is rude to Draco.. except his friends are rude to him all the time 

How much everyone loves his cousin Enzo but hates him. He is jealous of the attention he gets

Any time one of the guys are bragging about girls because he secretly wishes he had that many girls 

Mattheo’s fucking cigarette smoke

The fact that Tom’s grades are just a little better than his 

The fact that Mattheo and Enzo are better at quidditch than him 

Gryffindor. Just the whole houses existence

“Fucking nerds’, as he’d call them 

favourite things;

Cussing 

Writing (keeps it to himself mostly)

Mattheo’s music taste

Enzo hugs (he will die before Enzo knows this)

The Greengrass sisters (has dated both of them… wants one of them back)

The color black

Getting extremely drunk. Feeling numb and unbothered. That’s when he gets deep and real 

Cold weather- hates the heat

Pastries, especially jelly filled ones 

fun facts;

Speaks French 

Is super rich and will make sure everyone knows that

Has a weakness for cute animals 

Got mad when Tom lost his virginity before him

Is secretly bisexual

Probably bpd

Blaise Zambini

appearance/style;

6ft2 (the second tallest)

Broad and muscular but still on the lean side

Deep brown eyes

Full lips, model like features 

Great cheekbones 

Known as one of the prettiest out of the boys

Likes gold and silver 

Never wears his watch- always forgets it and loses it

Does wear earrings like all the time though

Secretly wants a nose piercing 

Wears a lot of grey and navy outside of his uniform. Looks really good in it though

Striking eyes but gentle, sweet resting face

social stance/relationships;

A good reputation like Enzo- but a bit more intimidating 

A lot of girls want him but he’s actually quite picky and doesn’t give a lot of them a chance

Gets emotional about girls more so than his friends- still doesn’t date them. Like Mattheo- has the ones he goes to the most 

Not really mean at all unless he’s joining in on his friends being dicks. Him and Enzo like to tease people together 

Sees Draco as his best friend 

Knew Enzo first

Wishes he could be as smart as Tom and goes to him a lot for school questions. Is secretly super smart though and could probably get better grades than Tom if he applied himself more

Likes to smoke with Theo the most. They get along well when they smoke together

Thinks Mattheo is the funniest 

pet peeves;

How mean Draco and Mattheo can be. He finds it pointless and rude when they go too far

When he gets lumped into some of the boys bad behavior

When Enzo and Draco get too drunk at parties. He tends to drink less because he knows they will go over board and he’ll have to take care of them 

How little the boys think about Tom sometimes and leave him behind (Tom would have said no anyways)

How much he can see through Draco’s shit sometimes 

Does a lot of damage control for his friends and that can get old

Being late to things

Losing things (loses things all the time)

Watching a friend lower their standards for a girl or guy

favorite things;

Going to quidditch games to see his friends play- always sits with Theo

Colder weather

A comfy sweater

A nicely rolled joint. Thinks Theo roles the best ones

When things are nice and calm. No body is arguing or being stupid and he doesn’t have to be mom

When his grades are good and he doesn’t have to stress about it

Watching Draco get put in his place 

Alone time with Draco and Enzo, just like their first year

Rock music. Like classic rock music- listens to it with Tom and Mattheo

Girls that wear nice perfume 

fun facts;

He wishes he could play quidditch when he watches his friends play

Can understand a small amount of Draco’s French 

Has really bad anxiety but keeps it to himself

Seems like the most put together in the group but really isn’t at all. More insecure than he lets on

Tom Riddle

appearance/style;

5ft11 (One inch that he holds over Mattheo’s head)

Major sleeper build

Green eyes. Odd shade of green that you can’t forget

Hair similar to his brothers just a little less curly 

NIce jawline

Evil and mischievous looking grin- it’s just that way naturally 

Resting plotting against you face 

Tries to have a kubrick stare but has dough eyes like Mattheo 

Would wear jewelry but nothing too flashy. A necklace maybe- one ring even

Gold and silver- mostly gold

Wears his watch on his right hand because he’s left handed. Wears it all the time 

Isn’t seen in much other than his uniform. But when he is it’s black and green anyways 

Doesn’t care for fashion. Thinks piercings and tattoos of any kind are too much

Never goes into public not dressed nice 

social stance/relationships;

Social outcast. Not the most social at all really

Extremely focused on his grades and personal writings

Is either feared or ignored by most people around him 

Does however have friends and goes out with them sometimes… when they bug him enough 

He is known for being very smart though and lots of students want his help on projects 

Quite intimidating even though he doesn’t care enough to bully anyone 

Isn’t very interested in girls… has had his fun with a few but romance and feelings don’t exist in his world- he has no time or energy for that

Has had a few crushes but would never tell anyone 

Doesn’t talk about his feelings with any of his friends 

Actually likes his brother Mattheo the most out of any of them but won’t admit that

Is also a huge fan of Theo- he thinks he’s the funniest 

Likes being around Blaise a lot too- thinks he is actually super smart

Draco and him hang out often- they have a lot in common and Draco makes the most sense to him out of all the boys 

He finds Enzo slightly annoying… he’s just gotten used to him really 

All of the boys admire Tom in an odd way and he does know that 

pet peeves;

Like Draco- Tom finds everything lame and annoying to be honest. He however is more quiet about his distaste for things unless he really hates it

Enzo’s constant talking about girls. He thinks that guy talks too much in general 

Mattheo’s temper. He thinks Mattheo needs to get it together and drop the ego

How little his friends pay attention in school… how stupid some of them can be 

Mattheo’s fucking cigarette smoke 

How much the school cares about quidditch and how Mattheo is praised about it more than he is with his academic success 

Getting super fucked up is dumb to him. Just like the flirting and hooking up- he has better things to do. He will however smoke muggle weed a little bit and does lie cigarettes

Being touched (Enzo trying to hug him)

Athletics of any kind 

favorite things; 

Writing and reading, he absolutely loves it 

Draco’s creative cussing 

Getting the best grades out of all his friends 

Watching Mattheo get angry at him and squirmy 

Chocolate, major bitter sweet tooth

Black coffee

Charms; he is really good at it 

Dueling; he is also really good at it and beats all the boys

Classical music 

Alone time and his own space 

fun facts;

He can play the piano really well. Plays mostly for Mattheo 

Practically raised Mattheo even though he’s just a year older

He doesn’t like to sleep too much

He is always the first to wake up and start his day 

He is also the first to always leave the table in the great hall

He speaks parseltongue but no body knows

Secretly overthinks a lot 

love, spell

[astrolook]

🔥💪 Mars As Darakaraka - Lover, Fighter or Probably Both💪🔥

Note: These are just my personal observations and recurring patterns I've noticed over the years from married clients, relatives and friends. Take what resonates with you and leave the rest. Feel free to share in the comments if any of this hits home. This post is based on Vedic astrology.

Mars as Darakaraka - Lover with a plan Your spouse will be bold, headstrong, and fiercely independent. They’re action-oriented and won’t wait around for help, they’ll do it themselves, even if it bruises their ego. Expect quick tempers in fire signs, silent treatment in earth signs, and emotional outbursts or guilt-tripping in water signs. They like things done their way and any deviation from the plan? Cue the irritation. Often tanned or sun-kissed, they love being outdoors. Think horse riding, biking, or just actively doing things around the house. They're not the type to sit still, and laziness genuinely annoys them. Prone to get injuries and vehicle accidents.

Emotional Expression:

Fire signs: Can be physically expressive sometimes breaking things or, in worst cases (esp. with Saturn), showing anger through physical abuse.

Water signs: Emotional manipulation, tears for attention, mood swings.

Earth signs: Calm exterior, silent treatment masters. You may never know when they’re mad... until it’s too late.

When they're down, they can become unpredictable, hot and cold, distant one day, intense the next. In a good mood, though? Total fun. Never boring, always on the go.

Professions: STEM fields, military, law enforcement, sports, tourism, digital creators (YouTubers/podcasters), manufacturing, any field that needs drive, risk-taking, or hustle.

☀️ Mars + Sun: Bold, blunt, no BS. Can come off rude, doesn’t tolerate drama. Highly-educated.

🪐 Mars + Saturn: Age difference possible or mature than you and teach you things, either a mentor or emotionally manipulative depending on signs and house placement. If Saturn is retrograde, they may sulk when upset and find it hard to say no. Often exploited by others. Significant age gap.

🧠 Mars + Mercury: Sharp wit, cutting words. If Mercury is Rx, brutal comebacks, sarcastic bombs, dormant-volcano vibes.

💘 Mars + Venus: Sky-high chemistry and libido. Can indicate extramarital affairs if placed in 6th, 8th, or 12th houses.

🌍 Mars + Jupiter: Foreign spouse likely, especially if in Sagittarius, Aquarius, Pisces, or houses 7, 9, 11, 12. If Jupiter is Rx, you might move in to their hometown and settle down with them.

House Placements:

1st: Obsessed with you (for good or bad) and your goals. Ride-or-die energy. Can be nosey at times like checking your phone or calling you 5 times a day.

2nd: Makes money, spends it faster. Budget? What's that?

3rd: Possible sibling tension (yours or theirs). Either best friends or beef.

4th: Clashes with family or feels unwelcome at home.

5th: Unplanned pregnancy, in some cases. Romantic chaos included.

6th: Both partners working, time management and compromise are keys.

7th: Young at heart. Their moods mirror yours. Big impact on your public life.

8th: Seductive. Uses charm to win fights. Heated arguments = steamy makeup sessions.

9th: Opinionated. Preaches unsolicited wisdom.

10th: Career-driven. May see you as the trophy. Big spender on lifestyle.

11th: Social butterfly. Has 20 friend groups and rotates through them like wardrobe.

12th: Calm on the outside, storm inside. When they blow up? Run. Holds grudges long after "forgiving."

Next Post will be about Jupiter as Darakaraka!

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Let’s decode your cosmic chaos together ⭐💖

[sanaexus]

pass pass- oh smash. -oikawa toruu

the inarazaki volleyball team was nothing short of chaos. be it the twins bickering, suna recording every fight, aran cheering them on, omimi's loud sighs of disappointment, kita's scolding and the manager's threat was something that happened on a daily basis, it was normal.

but despite all that nothing changed the fact that they were all extremely close, specially with the manager. in the past all most all the managers quit because of how patient you needed to be dealing with the havoc they created. but you were different. dealing with their bullshit every day, helping them with whatever they needed and just being a friend they really needed.

while to anyone outside it may have seemed like you have romantic feelings for one of them and that's why you chose to become the manager, so you could be closer to them. but that really wasn't the case. the last thing you'd like was one of those hooligans.

it was supposed to be a normal practice match with aoba johsai, but this was inarizaki they were talking about, of course it wasn't.

no one knew you were dating oikawa. no, everyone just automatically assumed you were with atsumu. they weren't exactly to blame, you were close to him but that's what happens when you know someone since your childhood.

to say you were tensed about the match was an understatement. not only about how this was going to end on the court but about how the teams would react if they somehow got to know you were with oikawa.

but it was as if luck decided to make a complete fool of me their entire team came barging in, the loud entrance made everyone flinch for a second as they stared at the door.

now you were panicking and omi being the actual saint he was asked you, "are you alright?"

"no, fuck shit no, do i look alright?" i was pacing back and forth trying to hide my face thinking about ways to hide myself from oikawa or at least let him no that he shouldn't approach me.

"are you alright you look like you just saw a ghost"

"that's because i saw someone worse than a ghost! oh my godd can i call in sick please?" you pleaded with him, trying to find any excuse that would get you out of here.

"no. why would you want that, what happened?"

"i'm kinda maybe sorta might be dating someone from seijoh"

"what's the problem, he's in seijoh this is volley- wait you have boyf- WHAT?"

the yelling had caught the team's attention as they look at the both of you confused.

"WE'RE FINE, NOTHING HAPPENED" as you glare at omi "shhh are you trying to get me killed here? the problem is he is the volleyball team and is kinda the captain of the team. i'm just gonna pray he isn't stupid enough to approach me here with these creatures all around me"

"praying isn't going to be enough for what the twins might do to him if they find out."

cue the bad luck as kindaichi and kunimi wave at you, surprised you're standing at the other side of the court. your hands frantically making the cross sign across your chest mouthing "stay away, you don't know me"

"oh wait how about you text him or something to like not come up to you and you'll explain later"

"ohhh my god you're a genius i love you omi"

as you whip your phone out going to text iwaizumi with your hands shaking.

-IWAIZUMI HELP

why do you look like you're about to pass out? are you fine?

-it's because i might pass out any second. my team doesn't know i'm dating oikawa

oh

-yeah tell him to not approach me please if they find out i'll be dead

i'll do it. good luck w this mess

-thank you i owe you big time

you look up from your phone to talk to omi- "i told his bestfriend to tell him to not approach me that should work right?"

"why didn't you tell him directly? what if he thinks he's just saying it so he stays focused"

"ohhh you're like SUPPER smart, i dont know what i'd do without you"

"probably have your little affair get caught"

you just mutter a little "rude" before going to text oikawa. but before you can, he comes in yelling.

"Y/NNN CHANN I MISSED YOUUU" his whiney voice can be heard to everyone as he jogs his over to you.

you sigh, knowing what's about to go down. "hi oikawa, i missed you too.." you whisper so only you can hear it. and before you can process the entire inarizaki volleyball team (and seijoh) is surrounding the two of you.

suna could careless about who you dated, if you were happy he didn't mind it. but this was something that was both surprising and funny, so of course he had to record it.

it was confusing to the team because up until now they were under the impression you were dating atsumu.

"wait wait wait what does he mean by he missed you? are you two friends?" osamu was curious, he knew you weren't dating his brother but he thought you liked him.

oikawa dramatically turned towards you "you haven't told them?"

"ladies, ladies there's enough of me to go around" which only brought you deadpan looks from both the volleyball teams "ok sorry, my bad for being funny"

"wait what does he mean you haven't told us??"

"we've been dating for a year, the last thing we could be is friends-"

"you're dating him? I thought you were with atsumu?"

"atsumu? i thought you were dating suna?"

"why me? i didn't even do anything keep me out of this?"

"NO WHY WOULD I BE DATING EITHER OF THEM?"

"what's wrong with us?" suna and atsumu asked offended.

"shut up i've seen you eating sand and you ask me what's wrong with the two of you?"

"y/n chan, what's going on?" kunimi asks curiously. the seijoh's team just stood there watching you, oikawa and the inarizaki members going back and forth.

"all of you shut up, we didn't even let y/n explain properly"

"oh my god thank you kita-"

"you don't like the twins?"

"KITA?! no oh lord i don't, i've been dating toruu for the past year, i never did and never will like any of these hooligans, no offense"

"HEY! that's rude-" before atsumu could whiney any further osamu smacked him in the back of his head, which shut him up immediately.

"what about the rumors of a girl making out with atsumu? that wasn't you?" suna finally asked, genuinely wanting to know more.

"Y/N-CHAN YOU MADE OUT WITH PISS HAIR? WHAT?"

"no oh my god toruu I didn't-"

"oh, that wasn't her that was just a junior i dated."

"yeah that wasn't me wait ew juniors? really atsumu?"

"she was cute! don't shift this on me"

"but guys seriously i never had have or will like anyone from the volleyball team. i'm sorry i hid it from you guys, but i was just scared of what you guys would think"

"are you happy? does he keep you happy?" aran asked borderline choking atsumu.

the question caught you off guard but instantly a small smile replaced the shock on your face "yes, he does, he's stupid but he really does make me happy"

"then that's all that matters"

"aww thank you-"

"nuh uh, i don't approve, what if he's a playboy?" atsumu disapprovingly shook his head praying aran's hands off him.

"oh god no one wants to hear that from you" suna shut atsumu up.

atsumu quietly huffed a "rude"

"well now that that's sorted, we should probably get back to warming up"

"yes thank you kindaichi, finally a normal person"

"y/n?" aran called out to you.

"yes?"

"just because your boyfriend's in that team doesn't mean we'll go easy on them, we'll just be rougher with them"

"if it makes you win, be my guest."

this was a bit awkward to write and I'm not proudest of this either but we'll js roll with it

@daisy-room here you go mam hope I did your idea justice divider credits to @/v6que

[brucewaynehater101]

I personally am not a fan of romantic/sexual a/b/o but I do have a headcanon for Tim.

I believe that Tim, regardless of gender, wouldn’t have the scents of his parents on him since they’re gone so frequently, essentially making him packless. Maybe the elites of Gotham prefer to wear scent blockers so there would not be anyone aware of Tim being rejected by his parents.

Taking into account Tim’s distant relationship with the bats when he first became Robin it wouldn’t be a surprise is Tim wasn’t invited to cuddling sessions where they would scent each other. As vigilantes they also frequently would wear scent blockers to avoid identification.

All this is to say that I would find it comedic if one day Red Robin takes off his scent blockers and instead of smelling like the rest of the bats pack if instead you could tell that he had bonded with young justice, romantic or platonic is up to you, since many of the young justice members would have also been rejected from the other packs around them.

-abo anon

Hi!!! Definitely agree on not a huge fan of romantic a/b/o. There's some cool stuff with platonic a/b/o, but shifter and/or creature fics tend to have most of those cool features.

Let's get into the hc/au, though!!!!

Does this AU have anything to do with pack bonds or nesting? For the sake of it, we will say that it does.

You're right that Tim probably wouldn't have his parents' scent on him. In fact, he probably thinks this is normal.

Is it nice when his parents are home, he gets scented, and then he feels safe, secure, and loved for a bit? Yeah. However, that's a luxury, not a need. It's nice, but Tim can live without it. He has everything else he needs (Tim, buddy, no).

We tie this mindset into the Gotham elite one as well. Tim knows it's improper to just have proof of scents wafting around. Everyone wears scent blockers (perhaps this became a norm due to rich people having affairs, marrying for money, etc). Therefore, Tim thinks it has to be common that the upper class just doesn't scent, or doesn't scent often. It's like those weird sitcoms Tim sees on the TV.

Then he becomes Robin.

At first, due to Dick and Bruce fighting, Tim doesn't see much of the cuddling, nesting, scenting behaviors. They still do it, but not as often or openly.

As the family starts to heal, the Waynes aren't purposefully trying to exclude Tim or anything. In fact, Dick (and maybe Bruce too) want to engage in those familial/loving activities. However, it's very intimate and only done with people you consider family. Dick does consider Tim to be his brother, but Tim has his parents. Also, how would the Waynes explain scenting their son to the Drakes when the Drakes go to do a similar thing?

Even after the Drakes die, Tim has his "uncle." They can't really explain away the Waynes scenting Tim, so they keep refraining.

While all of this is happening, Tim has fond his place with YJ. He's learned what scenting really means, how it's healthy and vital to them, and how horrid it was that his parents weren't around enough to do it. Tim has complicated feelings on that matter, though.

He found YJ and, even with retired members, they make sure to visit often for scenting purposes. Everyone in YJ is part of the family.

As anon said, you can hc a romantic poly for the core four or do a qpr. Either way, they are everything to each other.

Since YJ core were the first to consistently scent and bond with Tim, Kon and Bart's deaths particularly burned.

Anyways, he gets them back and everything. The Waynes are settling down. Things are good.

Then Tim takes off his scent blockers, which, for plot purposes, he's never done in front of the Waynes (maybe something about propriety's sake and YJ being the only ones he takes them off for). Chaos ensue when the Waynes realize that Tim doesn't smell like them, not one bit. He does smell heavily of YJ, though.

Also, perhaps YJ didn't wear blockers, but the batfam didn't know what Tim smelt like (due to the blockers), so they never connected the dots.

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

In Defense of Lori Grimes

"Michonne is so much better than Lori because she searched for Rick for years while thinking he might be dead when Lori got together with Shane after a few days of Rick being dead"

Something I am so disgustingly sick of seeing in The Walking Dead fandom is the intense sexism in comparing the female characters to each other and pitting them against each other (especially on the basis of those female characters being love interests to the same man or potential love interests to the same man) - the kind of misogynist mindset that the show itself tried to take apart and guide us away from in the most hand-holding way.

I am so sick of seeing characters like Beth and Lori being shit on for being "weak" and seeing characters like Lori and Andrea have their deaths literally celebrated and cheered on by fans just because they were in a relationship with a male character that you didn't approve of.

And genuinely, I think it is intensely unfair to compare Lori and Michonne when their circumstances were so entirely different.

(Potential TW for discussion of Shane's canon assault on Lori.)

Can you genuinely imagine Lori - someone with 0 weapons training, whose ultimate priority was to take care of her young child, marching into a place that was full of Walkers (and active chaos because the outbreak was still so new) and was shown to be full of military personnel actively shooting at innocent civilians because they were afraid that people were infected - just because she herself had to check that Rick was alive and somehow had to rescue him. Rather than trusting the word of someone she had known for years who had no reason to lie to her about Rick's death, and, as far as he was concerned, fully believed that Rick was dead.

And I know that a lot of people get pissy because they think that Lori and Shane engaging in a sexual and/or romantic relationship so soon after Rick's death was tasteless - and I think you are fucking annoying and braindead for having this take. First of all, mourning looks like a lot of different things for a lot of different people. For Hershel, it was drinking, for Beth, it was wanting to take her own life, for Rick after Lori's death, it was experiencing hallucinations - and for some people, mourning might mean seeking comfort in another person.

And I don't understand why people seem to blame Lori for this inappropriate relationship more so than they do Shane? I think Shane is a fascinating character to dissect, and right from the get to, his very first speech shows how he is inherently sexist, and one of the core parts of his character is how he views Lori and Carl as a prize. He never truly loved them as people - which is why he finds it so easily to sexually assault Lori out of anger rather than leaving her alone, trying to claim her as a piece of property he feels rightful to, and later in Season 2 when he is further emotionally devolving, he doesn't truly care to watch over Carl and care for his safety, he only runs around talking about the things he has already done to keep Carl safe.

During 18 Miles Out, Shane says to Rick "I swear I never looked at her before that, man" - talking about how (supposedly) he never had romantic interest in Lori before Rick's 'death', and I think that the only reason this line was put into the script is because Shane is lying here. Because he knows Rick is suspicious that it was a long term affair or at least, that it was a some kind of scheme on Shane's part, and Shane is trying to exonerate himself - especially because he's trying to lure Rick into a false sense of security right before he kills him.

I do genuinely believe that Shane admired Lori from afar for a long time, not only because she's attractive, but because she represents everything he wanted in a woman - she is a stay at home mom, she's a house wife. She fits very easily into that little box that Shane wants to put all women into. Especially because during his opening speech, he says "every woman I ever let have a key" - he denotes the women in his life as roommates. He's clearly never gotten past the stage in a relationship where he lives with a woman for more than a few weeks because he wants a cooking, cleaning house wife - but nobody will put up with him and his attitude for long enough to give him that.

And then there's the fact that he purposefully kept Lori close after Rick 'died'. When (who they don't know is Rick) comes through on the CB, Lori asks if she can go off by herself to put up signs on the highway to warn people away from the city (and she doesn't know it, but doing this would have guided Rick to their camp a lot faster and easier). And Shane refuses to let her go off by herself. He claims that it's because he doesn't want to leave Carl as an orphan, but he ends the conversation with a kiss - cementing that he is her caregiver, her authority and that she needs him.

Imagine how intensely vulnerable Lori was after Rick had just 'died' and in her mind, she was a widow. Her son would never have a father again and she was now living in a scary, dangerous world where her protector was dead. And Shane is lingering around her, keeping her close by - we do not get to see their first kiss in the show, but every single romantic touch between the two of them is initiated by Shane. And I think it is a bit of a psychological power imbalance that she was mourning and scared and he was straight headed enough to lead the entire quarry group, and somehow they ended up in a sexual relationship together.

I would be willing to bet that Shane is the one who started that first romantic/sexual encounter. (And for the record, I am not calling all of their encounters rape or assault, I am just saying that he took advantage of her vulnerable emotional state.)

And comparing that to Michonne - who (when Rick 'died' on the bridge) was someone intensely skilled in combat and survival and perfectly okay to go out on her own to search for him, and had someone else to take care of her children in the meantime in a steady, stable community while she was gone... I feel like it's a totally unfair comparison. Especially because Michonne didn't have a predator that she already had a trusting established relationship with waiting over her shoulder to bounce on her vulnerable emotions.

I love Michonne and Lori both so much, but saying that Michonne better because she searched for Rick and Lori didn't is SO UNFAIR.

Also if you are one of those people who cheers when Lori dies, I am severely judging you

[odoraful]

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐀 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌

you set up a surprise for xiao's birthday which feels, strangely, just like one of his dreams

content: xiao x gn!reader; inspired by his birthday letter; reader can be interpreted as the traveller or as a character on their own; reader and xiao are friends but there are some romantic undertones; soft/reflective xiao; bubbly reader; minor angst but mostly fluff/comfort ;~2k

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Xiao never liked having his senses incapacitated. A deafening roar from a lawachurl that caused his ears to ring, or a crushing blow from a geovishap that made him loosen his grip on his spear. It left him defenceless, and gave more than enough time for an enemy to strike him. 

That was why when you asked him to ‘close your eyes’ and promised that ‘nothing bad would happen’, he was understandably a little sceptical. 

Arms folded tight against his chest, Xiao had his eyes wide open. “I won’t be able to see anything,” he frowned. 

You placed your hands on your hips and sighed. “That’s the whole point, Xiao. It’s meant to be a surprise.” 

 Xiao had received express permission from Zhongli to accompany you to Chenyu Vale for ‘immediate funeral parlour business.’ Only now did he realise that the smile on Zhongli’s face was far too wide and doting to just be relaying simple business affairs. 

His frown deepened, eyes sweeping around the surroundings. Following a short bamboo boat ride, you and him were now standing at the dock on the base of Teatree Slope. Even though the area was closeby to the village, monsters did not rest simply because it was a sunny afternoon. 

He could think of a thousand different ways he and you could be ambushed. A millisecond was all it took for an arrow or blade to pierce your flesh and he’d open his eyes to find you lying on the ground. This nightmarish thought made his skin crawl. He knew you were a capable fighter (he’d even seen you fend off creatures quadruple your size), but his mind and instinct were always at odds with each other. 

“Gaming and I already cleared this place out early this morning.” Your reassuring voice coaxed Xiao from his thought spiral. He focused on your face, lit up by the sun. The glow of your skin only added to your palpable excitement. 

“With his knowledge of the area plus my fighting skills,” you mockingly flexed your arms, “I can guarantee you it’s safe.” The corners of Xiao’s lips faintly twitched in amusement. 

Once you noticed this slight break in his demeanour, you jumped at your chance. 

“Please?” Clasping your hands, you stepped closer to him, not breaking eye contact. “It’ll only be for a minute or so!” 

He tried his best to hold his gaze on yours in defiance. It only lasted a few seconds, however, as he quickly darted his eyes away and down at the ground. He fought the urge to teleport to the opposite side of Liyue as his face grew warmer.  Archons, do you always have to look so enthusiastic about such small matters? Exhaling deeply, he relaxed his arms to his sides. 

“These mortal customs…” he mumbled under his breath. At last, he closed his eyes. “Alright. Lead me to wherever you choose.” 

Attuning his hearing to the light trickle of water from the river, Xiao inhaled the crisp air. He almost jumped when he felt fingers intertwine with his hand. You moved to his side, gently bumping your shoulder against his.

“Don’t worry. I won’t let anything happen to you.” You said. Xiao could easily make out the giddiness in your voice. Your hand squeezed him to emphasise your point.  

His hand briefly stiffened, uncertain how to respond to your casual affection. The naturally stoic expression on his face thankfully did not reveal the millisecond of indecisive chaos that raced through his mind. He decided to reciprocate. Squeezing your hand in return, he hoped it somehow conveyed his trust in you. 

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The weight of your hand in his felt all too comfortable as you guided him across the grassy hillside. As you promised, the walk was short and free of monsters. 

“We’re nearly there.” You assured, swinging his hand. 

Xiao hummed affirmatively. Briefly, he completely lost himself to your touch, almost in a trance. 

In his observations of humans during his patrols, he’d seen couples hold hands, never letting go of each other even when they would disagree on where to go or when bustling crowds would jostle them. How foolish, he once thought. Wouldn’t it be more convenient to simply walk side by side? Or even split up so each could each get their respective tasks done? Now, as he sensed the warmth of your hand that radiated through his glove, and every twitch of your fingers when you readjusted your grip, he understood. 

Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to imagine himself as one of them too. Strolling down the paths leading to Liyue Harbour with you, quietly talking about anything that came to mind. A closeness that meant you’d never leave each other’s side. He indulged himself. These were just imaginations, after all. 

He heard the sound of your footsteps against grass, and felt a sudden emptiness in his hand. 

“I’m still here!” Those three words you whispered were an immediate relief for his worries. “I just needed to get in the right position!” You called out, your voice coming from a little further than before. 

“Okay, you can open your eyes now.” 

Xiao’s eyes adjusted to the brightness as he opened them. His overexposed vision quickly corrected itself, revealing the surprise you had prepared for him.

Laid out on the grass and flowers was a white blanket, weighted down at the corners by cushions. The unopened picnic basket in the centre was neatly surrounded by a few plates which held food. Xiao recognised servings of almond tofu, buns and rice pudding.  A small clay teapot had faint wisps of steam coming from its spout, and was accompanied by two cups of matching colour. The picnic was perfectly situated just beside the river to have a clear view of Jademouth.

“Ta-da!” You exclaimed, gesturing towards the picnic. “Happy birthday, Xiao!”

His mouth was slightly agape. “Y-you prepared all this on your own?” He approached the spread before him. 

“Well, Xiangling helped with the buns and pudding,” you rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly before quickly adding, “but everything else was me.” 

He stood there stunned. 

For so long he viewed this day as insignificant. The same duty to perform, with the same people and places to protect as any other day of the year. Celebrations were unnecessary for a guardian who preferred to remain in the shadows. Liyue’s safety was his only priority, and nothing else. However, as you tugged on his hand to follow you to sit, and piled cushions around him to ensure his comfort, longing flared in his heart. If it was just with you then perhaps celebrating would not be so bad. 

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“How’s the food?” You asked, taking the last bite of your rice bun.

“Good.” Xiao lifted a spoonful of silky tofu and fragrant syrup to his mouth. “You’re an accomplished chef.” 

“Not really.” You said, shaking your head. From the stories you had told him when you just sat down, he suspected you were reminiscing about your… bold attempts to follow Xiangling’s recipes. 

“The only dish I can make well is almond tofu.” You continued, chuckling to yourself. “I think I perfected it thanks to you.” 

He was glad for only the gentle sounds of nature that surrounded you, otherwise he would not have heard the lilting sound of your laugh that rang clear in his ears. 

The first time you made it for him, the scent of almond and osmanthus provoked a dizzying sense of nostalgia. Whilst Yanxiao’s version was textbook — perfectly balanced in flavour, and decorated precisely, Xiao preferred yours. You always made the syrup a little sweeter, and added your own touches. He was greeted with different coloured toppings of small spheres and cubes of jelly every time you served a plate. Though trivial, he quietly looked forward to how you were going to decorate the dish each time. 

The conversation lulled to a comfortable silence as he finished his last spoonful. He tried to savour the last bite — a taste so simple but pleasing to his palate. It reminded him of something. The sweetness must have loosened his tongue because before he could think, the words spilled out of him. 

“I have been having dreams recently where we sit together just like this.” 

Your eyes widened as you took a sip of warm tea. “Really? With me?” 

Uncrossing his legs, he stretched them out in front of him on the blanket and leaned back on his hands. 

“Yes, though they are not fantastical.” 

A breeze picked up, cooling his skin and tousling his hair. Gazing in the distance, the landscape before him looked like a painting hung in one of the rooms of Wangshu Inn. The jade monument in the distance shimmered in the sunlight. Even being here right now felt like a dream. 

“In each of them, we go on idle strolls or outings.”  

“Like having a picnic?” You remarked, playfully nudging his shoulder. Much to Xiao’s hopes, you remained there, your shoulder lightly touching his own. A small smile you were only privy to graced his lips as he nodded. 

“They are oddly comforting to me.” His voice grew wistful. “Although, I don’t know how worthy I am to have such sweet dreams.” 

Xiao curled his fingertips into the picnic blanket, nails digging into the fabric. He wanted to savour everything he could sense in this moment. The soft fabric of the blanket, the warmth of the sun against his face, the lingering scent of tea leaves in the air. For perhaps this would be as fleeting as those in his dreams.

“I couldn’t think of someone more deserving of them.” You responded. Placing a hand on his shoulder, you finally drew his attention, pulling him away from the unease bubbling within him. He turned to find your brows scrunched slightly, a determined look on your face. 

“You know, it’s okay for you to be selfish when it comes to joy.” You were always quick to defend Xiao, even from comments coming from himself. 

He couldn’t even recall the last time he had allowed himself leisure. If not for your insistence at wanting to take him on outings since your meeting, Xiao envisioned a dim future for himself. Confined to the Inn, too afraid to mingle with the people that he gazed upon from his balcony, filled with unanswered questions about mortal life. 

His gaze unconsciously trailed from your eyes to your lips. They were slightly reddened and glossy from whatever cosmetic you had applied.  As desperately as he wanted to be, he wasn’t quite ready for that kind of selfishness just yet. 

“That does not come as easy to me as it does for you.” He replied with a gruff, heart thundering in his chest.

“Well then, I guess that means I’m the perfect person to help you.” You grinned.

“And how would you help me?” He asked, a brow raised. 

You paused, resting a hand on your chin in thought. “To start, if you’d like, you can tell me what kinds of nice dreams you have so we can bring them into reality.” Head tilted towards Xiao, you regarded him for his reaction.

Xiao certainly could not hide his surprise. The offer sounded too good to be true. “Y-you would do that?” He spluttered out.

You fidgeted with your fingers. “If it means being able to spend more time with you, I’d gladly do it.” The subtleties of human interaction were often lost upon Xiao, but he swore there was a bashfulness in your tone as you spoke.

His expression softened. Shaking his head, Xiao wondered if he could ever fathom your kindness. “Your plans are always… unique.” 

With the comfort of your shoulder pressed against him, the worries he previously had slipped away for the moment. He peacefully focused on the drone of insects in the background and the occasional rippling of water from a swimming fish. His mind began to drift, considering whether a stroll on the harbour or an outing collecting crystalflies should be first on the agenda.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

a/n: thank you for making it to the end of my INCREDIBLY belated xiao birthday fic! :') it was a little hard for me to write this because nothing i wrote felt right, but i hope it turned out okay! his birthday letters are always so romantic, it fills my heart with such warmth seeing how his character has grown to become more soft and trusting TT the idea of xiao slowly allowing himself to enjoy the little joys of life just makes me </3

[macabrewhims]

◈ ⟣ the crystallized legacy ⟢ ◈

welcome to the crystallized legacy challenge, a 12-generation challenge inspired by birthstones! after making my enneagram challenge, i wanted to create something with all the ideas i had left over, so after a year of toiling, here we are! ik there's other crystals challenges out there and prob already a birthstones challenge, but this is my interpretation ♡ this challenge is definitely more drama and story-heavy than my last challenge, but i hope you guys enjoy the chaos just as much as i do xx 

due to the nature of the actual birthstones, colours are repeated. however, i have added lists of the possible variations the stones come in, so you can choose whatever colour you see fit!

RULES:

money cheats are allowed unless otherwise stated (for example, gens 1 and 5)

play on normal lifespan

story prompts are optional. you can use them if you want, but feel free to interpret the rules however you wish—that’s the fun part of playing a challenge!

all goals must be met before moving onto the next heir. unless otherwise stated, you must complete both the career and aspiration.

if you don’t have a pack that goes with a certain skill/aspiration/trait, substitute as you see fit! however, this is easier for some gens than others

optional bonus challenge: have every heir be born during the season associated with their month/stone!

if you play, please credit me! @loyaltrait on instagram & @macabrewhims on tumblr. use the #crystallizedlegacy tag so we can all follow along! 

packs majorly used (heavily involved in gameplay and rules): lovestruck, get famous, city living, island living, discover university, growing together, get to work, jungle adventures, for rent, parenthood

packs minorly used (easiest to substitute): eco lifestyle, spa day, snowy escape, outdoor retreat, cats & dogs, seasons, high school years

GEN 1: january / garnet (red)

ASPIRATION: romantic explorer

CAREER: freelancer

TRAITS: lovebug, loyal, maker

garnets symbolise love and vitality, and you are an endless fountain of both. you wear your heart on your sleeve, always looking for the one, but is your eagerness your downfall? after a particularly bad breakup and a particularly good stroke of fate, you learn that you’ve inherited your great-grandaunt’s house, and it happens to be far enough away that you think this can be your fresh start. you vow to put your heartbreak behind you and stop seeking out a relationship, but do old habits die hard?

garnets can come in a wide variety of colours, most notably deep red, as well as blue, pink, green, and orange. 

☆ move into an old home with outdated decor and only §10,000. you can only redecorate with money you earn from freelancing or with things you craft

☆ master the romance and entrepreneur skills

☆ have your first child (the heir) unplanned. break up with their other parent when they’re a toddler.

☆ date at least 5 other sims, but never marry

☆ have at least one date per week with whoever your partner is at the time

STORY PROMPTS:

— your crusade to not seek out a relationship has landed you in the middle of someone else’s—you’re an affair partner. do you ditch the cheater or think you can fix them? 

— luck and love are never hand-in-hand for you. just when you think you’ve found the one, tragedy strikes and they die. can you let them go, or will that love haunt you for the rest of your life?

GEN 2: february / amethyst (purple)

ASPIRATION: mansion baron

CAREER: business

TRAITS: proper, hates children, romantically reserved

amethysts have long been associated with royalty, so it’s only fitting that you’re just as regal. you watched your parent get their heart broken more times than you can count, and you vow you’ll never be the same. the disdain you have for your chaotic upbringing makes you crave order—and with it, wealth. love has never been a priority to you, nor has family. but money? the closest thing you’ve ever felt to being in love has been watching your bank balance skyrocket. 

amethysts are almost always purple.

☆ master the logic and violin skills

☆ gain the workaholic lifestyle

☆ have a child—either adopted or as a science baby—to secure your legacy. and immediately relinquish all parenting responsibilities to the nanny. (this does not have to be your only child)

☆ lecture your child on misbehaviour often and never have a relationship past ‘friends’ and have a “difficult” family dynamic.

☆ marry a sim you have no or very low friendship with

STORY PROMPTS:

— you’re approached one day with the biggest merger possible: marriage. not a real marriage though, don’t worry. there may not be love between you and your spouse, but it’s a great cover for insider trading. that is, if you can keep it loveless. 

— your child(ren) is just a vessel for your own goals. you are always harsh on them because you want them to be the best. but do you eventually see the error of your ways and try to ease up on them?

GEN 3: march / aquamarine (teal)

ASPIRATION: city native

CAREER: lawyer

TRAITS: loves outdoors, child of the ocean, creative

like your birthstone, you’ve always felt an affinity with the ocean and its vastness. all you’ve ever wanted was to escape, both the city and your family. you were always pressured to be the best, lest you bring shame to the family name. but after a life of living for others, it finally all comes to a head. the burnout finally gets the best of you and you decide to follow your dreams and move to the beach, getting away from your parents’ clutches once and for all. is this where you finally find happiness? 

aquamarines range from soft greens to soft blues.

☆ complete the city native as a young adult before moving to either tartosa or sulani. 

☆ master one creative skill of your choice + research and debate

☆ have a bad relationship with your parents and go no contact with them after you move away

☆ meet the love of your life as an adult and have children (as many as you want). you have a permissive relationship with them and spoil them with the love you never had

☆ quit your job when you move and get by on either your partner’s income or money earned from your creative hobby 

STORY PROMPTS:

— your poor relationship with your parents has always been suffocating, but you have always craved their acceptance nonetheless. they try to set you up with a business partner’s kid to secure a deal, and you get engaged to please them. do you leave them at the alter or respectfully break it off before you go? 

— you take vacations frequently while still living in the city to spare your sanity. while on one of them, you meet a diving instructor and hit it off. do you rekindle things when you finally move or do you seek new beginnings?

GEN 4: april / diamond (white)

ASPIRATION: world famous celebrity

CAREER: athlete

TRAITS: active, self-absorbed, materialistic

you were always the crown jewel of the family: firstborn, spoiled rotten, and killer athletic talent. your parents put you into your chosen sport young, and you were competing at national levels before you even hit puberty, making your professional debut when you were 15. you’re the #1 in the world now, and damn does it feel good. until you fly too close to the sun, that is.  

diamonds can come in a variety of colours, but are most commonly clear.

☆ progress quickly in your career and gain status as a global superstar

☆ when you’re at the top of your game, you get too cocky. after a particularly nasty scandal, you get disgraced, losing your career and taking a major hit to your fame. 

☆ master the fitness and mixology skills

☆ have a career change as an adult, either business or social media 

☆ gradually raise your reputation  back with an image change, donating frequently to charities. 

STORY PROMPTS:

— losing your career means slowly losing your lavish lifestyle, and you can not let that happen. you quickly find a celebrity partner and marry them. is it all lust and convenience, or is there something deeper there? 

— you have a flippant relationship with parenting, you’d rather splash money at your kids than actually parent them. does losing your reputation give you the wake up call you need to be a more present parent? 

GEN 5: may / emerald (green)

ASPIRATION: inner peace

CAREER: salaryperson

TRAITS: vegetarian, loner, neat

emeralds are associated with security and balance, and all you’ve ever longed for has been some semblance of order. your parent’s mercurial celebrity status was always a source of stress for you. why couldn’t they just be normal? you turn your back on the world of fame and excess and embrace the mundane: a quiet suburb, an office job, a healthy lifestyle. a simple life. but can your life ever actually be simple?

 emeralds vary in shade, but are always green. 

☆ move out of your parents’ house with only §15,000 simoleons when you go to university. you must live in a dorm and take out student loans for the duration of your degree

☆ master the piano and wellness skills

☆ move to any suburban world after graduating university and live there for the rest of your life

☆ attend yoga classes at least once a week

☆ have a close relationship with your child(ren) and build them a treehouse

STORY PROMPTS:

— you change your surname after moving out of your parents’ house in an effort not to be seen as a nepo baby. after years in relative obscurity, someone finally picks up on your true lineage, and threatens to blackmail you over it.

— after years of low contact, your parent contacts you to make amends. you find this suspicious but accept anyways, until you learn there’s a catch. what is it and will it strain your relationship further?

GEN 6: june / pearl (white)

ASPIRATION: soulmate

CAREER: astronaut

TRAITS: self-assured, squeamish, practice makes perfect

pearls are often associated with the moon, and most if your childhood was spent staring at the skies in wonder. you liked your quiet life, but you always wanted more. all it takes is one high school career day to cement your dream forever: becoming an astronaut. you train rigorously for your day in space, but just when the dream is finally in reach, you are faced with an impossible choice: love or the stars?

 pearls are known for having a shiny, cream-coloured hue, though other colours are possible. 

☆ complete at least one child and one teen aspiration

☆ master the rocket science and programming skills

☆ pick between completing your career or completing your aspiration. right before you reach your final promotion, choose between your job or staying with your spouse

☆ meet your spouse young, either as high school sweethearts or in university. they are the only person you ever date

☆ go to sixam and complete the geodes collection

STORY PROMPTS:

— you think you’re doing well at managing your career and your marriage, but you’re oblivious to the obvious cracks and your spouse’s frayed feelings. they are the one to offer you the ultimatum: me or space.

— your youngest child is the “problem” child, and you never seem to get along. no matter what you do, you can’t seem to form a bond with them. but are you really trying as hard as you could be, or are they another casualty of your career blinders?

GEN 7: july / ruby (red)

ASPIRATION: public enemy

CAREER: criminal and then politician

TRAITS: family-oriented, mean, hot-headed (later lose either mean or hot-headed through gameplay)

rubies are the stone of passion, and your passion has always felt all-consuming. as the youngest and least disciplined of your siblings, you were always the firecracker of the family, ready to burst at any moment. no one ever understood you—or so you believed—and it hardened you. a life of crime only seemed like a natural progression to you, until you found someone who saw the good in you and vowed to do anything to protect them and start over. anything. 

though rubies are most often red, there are also deep magenta and purple varieties.

☆ have a bad relationship with your parents and move out as a teen to start university early.

☆ major in psychology and choose the criminal career

☆ master the mischief and parenting skills

☆ when you are halfway through your career progression, meet a sim with opposite traits to yours and fall in love. quit your career to give them a safer life and have a family together

☆ while your children are still very young (infants or toddlers), complete the last tier of the public enemy aspiration and witness another sim die. go into “witness protection” and relocate your family as far away as possible. you and your family members must all change your names.

STORY PROMPTS:

— once you are settled in your new life, you find a passion for community organising. you enter the politician career hoping the make a change, but the threat of your past catching up to you is always lingering. 

— old habits die hard, and the fiercely protective side of you never goes away. you loathe your child’s partner and think they’re not good enough for them. when your suspicions are proven right, do you dispose of them or leave it to karma?

GEN 8: august / peridot (green)

ASPIRATION: friend of the world

CAREER: social media

TRAITS: high maintenance, kleptomaniac, music lover

peridot is the stone of good fortune, and your parents always called you their lucky charm. you’ve always been, cherished, bubbly, and popular, it’s just in your nature. you love making friends, but more than that, you love attention. you have a natural talent for reeling people in, and realised early that your type of charisma can be…useful. it’s not your fault other people are so easily fooled, is it? perhaps the apple doesn’t fall far enough from the tree, despite your parents’ best efforts…

peridots are a bright green, often with yellow undertones.

☆ master the charisma and photography skills

☆ steal at least one item from every friend you have

☆ host some sort of social event every week

☆ marry young but let the relationship fizzle out. as your relationship declines, start an affair. you decide whether to divorce or live a lie  

☆ at least one of your children (the next heir) must come from your affair

STORY PROMPTS:

— you’ve known your best friend since you were in diapers, and you’ve always wanted the best for them. but there’s a part of you that’s always been envious of them. when their new partner catches your eye, can you hold yourself back? 

— alternatively, the jealousy you feel for your best friend swings the other way. you loathe their new partner and try to fight down the gnawing feeling…that it should be you on their arm instead. 

GEN 9: september / sapphire (blue)

ASPIRATION: curator

CAREER: doctor

TRAITS: generous, cat or dog lover, goofball

sapphires are associated with innocence and clarity, and by some miracle, you were blessed with the purest heart this family has seen in generations. all you’ve ever wanted to help people, but your big heart tends to get you into trouble sometimes. you fight fiercely for your patients…even if that means bending a few rules to save a few lives. but if it’s in the name of the greater good, it’s not that bad…right? 

sapphires are most known as blue, but green, pink, purple and peach-hued varieties exist.

☆ master the guitar and pet training skills

☆ complete three collections of your choice

☆ always have a pet in your household

☆ fall in love with a patient you treat at the hospital

☆ donate at least §1000 to charity every week

STORY PROMPTS:

— you’ve always loved a story of forbidden love, and what’s more forbidden than falling for your patient? after respectfully transferring their care to another doctor to avoid any moral conflicts, you pursue a relationship. but you suspect their new doctor isn’t giving them the care they deserve. do you put your faith in your colleague, or do you sabotage them to help the one you love? 

— your charitable heart might be more trouble than its worth. a friend asks you to invest in their business, and you realise a little too late that their business isn’t exactly legit. do you quietly withdraw your support or are you along for the (potentially illegal) ride?

GEN 10: october / opal (any colour)

ASPIRATION: seeker of secrets

CAREER: secret agent

TRAITS: nosy, noncommittal, ambitious

like the enchanting shift of an opal’s colours, you have always lived a life on contrast and balance. fresh out of university, you were approached with an unbelievable offer: the chance to be a secret agent. now, you attune yourself with that changeable nature—you are whoever you need to be for a particular job, the real you doesn’t matter. but do you even know the real you? is there even a “real” you under all those disguises? 

opals are known for their unique blend of colours, and can come in any combination of shades.

☆ master the video gaming and handiness skills

☆ change your hair colour (or another easily changeable aspect of your appearance) once per sim week

☆ marry a fellow secret agent and settle down in a quiet town and never reveal your real jobs to your children

☆ your two oldest children must be twins, regardless of how many children you have

☆ have at least 5 enemies, one of which must be a coworker  

STORY PROMPTS:

— love finds a way even in the most unexpected of places, it seems. you meet the love of your life on a mission, but it seems your rival has feelings for them too. does everyone survive the love triangle? 

— it’s hard to balance spying and parenting, but somehow you find a balance between the two. so what if that involves blackmailing a few school prinicpals?  

GEN 11: november / topaz (yellow)

ASPIRATION: master chef

CAREER: chef

TRAITS: bookworm, foodie, erratic

topaz is believed to be a powerful stone for soothing, and to you there’s nothing as soothing as cooking. there was never anything other than culinary school even on your radar, and your first restaurant becomes an overnight success. you are obsessed with crafting the perfect dish. your twin refuses to let you fall down that rabbit hole and endlessly begs to set you up on a blind date to get you out into the world. when you finally relent, do you find your missing ingredient? 

topaz comes in a variety of colours, but orange, yellow, and brown shades are most common. 

☆ master the cooking and writing skills

☆ write at least one cookbook

☆ own a five-star restaurant  

☆ meet your eventual partner on a blind date set up by your twin

☆ have a supportive family dynamic with your child(ren) and invite them to cook with you frequently

STORY PROMPTS:

— your restaurant is consuming your life and you know it. you find it hard to balance running the restaurant and being a good parent. do you sell the restaurant to focus on your family or do you still desperately try to juggle both? 

— when your parents become elders, you try to convince them to move in with your family so you can care for them, but they stubbornly decline. do you push the issue or let it rest?

GEN 12: december / turquoise (teal)

ASPIRATION: archaeology scholar

CAREER: gardener (botanist branch)

TRAITS: clumsy, green fiend, socially awkward

turquoise is known as a truth stone, and you have always wondered the truth about…well, everything. your first word was “why?” and you haven’t stopped asking it since. your curiosity is endless, and your interests have always been rather…ecological. since you were a child, you’ve dreamed of going to selvadorada to study the ruins and the expansive jungle around them. now, that goal is closer than ever, and you can’t help but build a fantasy around it in your head. but do you let the fear of disappointment hold you back from making your dream a reality, or do you push through and chase your dreams regardless? 

 just like the colour named after it, turquoise are a vibrant teal.

☆ master the gardening and archaeology skills

☆ have a close relationship with your grandparents, becoming best friends with at least one of them

☆ save up to go to selvadorada as often as possible, at least once per season. or, if you have a mod that permits it, live there year-round

☆ never get into a romantic relationship until you go on your first selvadorada trip, where you meet the love of your life on an archaeological dig

☆ never have biological children. you may adopt if you want to 

STORY PROMPTS:

— you were always close with your grandparent because they always encouraged your curiosity. after they pass away, you find out they weren’t the sweet old grandparents you thought they were, they were spies. what do you do with the information you find? 

— you’ve never wanted a family of your own, but your partner does. do you stay adamant about not having children, or do have a change of heart and adopt?

[hlficlibrary]

HL Fic Library 🧡 Kid Fics

Remember to leave kudos and a comment on the fics you enjoyed to show your appreciation! You can find the library's other recs here.

🧡 the wonderlands by stylinsoncity / @aliensingucci {M, 150k}

"Somewhere between chaos and control — these are the wonderlands."

Harry's daughter, Andy, is signed to Louis' girl band. Her path to success is marked by competition, chaos, and for Harry, a love affair.

🧡 Flour and Chocolate by teaandtumblr {M, 145k}

It was nice, for a bakery he supposed.

Then he approached the display cabinet.

And the foreboding slammed into him. Because every product had letters next to it. Letters. GF, DF, V, O, VGN.

What. The. Fuck?

Lifting his eyes to the chalkboard menu spread across the back wall Louis felt physically ill. ‘Gluten-free’, ‘organic’, ‘vegan’, ‘paleo’, ‘dair-…’ Wait, what the fuck was a paleo? He had entered some hipster-trash establishment and it was more than time to get out.

 OR Louis is a single dad and Harry works at the newly opened bakery down the street.

🧡 Face Your Fears by @sadaveniren {E, 92k}

Harry is a single father, pretending to be a beta after his alpha mated him and left him. He’s getting by just fine raising the twins when Louis walks into his bakery. Too bad him and Louis will never be a thing.

🧡 Just Pretend by @kingsofeverything {E, 90k}

Louis Tomlinson is a divorced dad who doesn't date. What free time he has, he likes to spend with his teenage daughter, and if he wants to take someone home, he does it when she's spending the weekend with her mom.

Then he meets Harry Styles, another divorced dad with a teenage daughter, who convinces him it’s a good idea to pretend they're dating to keep their kids happy.

🧡 Standing on the Edge of Forever by EllaO {M, 55k}

“So let me get this straight. You took Mr. Squiggles from the classroom habitat, took him with you on your fieldtrip to the zoo, and released him in the aviary?”

Harry Styles is a single father, just trying to keep his life organized after losing his husband four years earlier. Between his daughter, Liam's hellion twins, and Sophia throwing him into any romantic tangle she can think of, life gets a little crazy. Of course, everything changes the moment Lo and the twins get interested in their school musical, The Wizard of Oz. Because the new director, Louis Tomlinson, is just about the most attractive man that Harry has ever seen.

Featuring adorable Dad Harry, hotshot actor Louis, three sassy kids, a badass Sophia Smith, and a Liam who just wants all their kids to be well behaved.

🧡 A Life That We Share (I Owe It All to You) by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings {M, 50k}

When Harry's son came home from school crying he didn't think things could get any worse. Lucky for them, things were just about to change for the best.

or Harry's son get bullied until Louis' son shows up :)

🧡 Chasing, Searching, Dreaming by @parmahamlarrie {E, 46k}

Everyone is chasing, searching, dreaming of their soulmate.

Harry has known who his soulmate is since he was twenty years old, and ever since, he has been waiting for Louis to be ready for him. The unexpected passing of Louis' mum, and the fact that now he is the guardian of his twin two-year-old little siblings, just means that Harry is going to have to wait a bit longer.

A soulmate AU full of cute kids, house building, therapy, and a lot of dreaming.

🧡 hymns for restless stars by @turnyourankle {E, 37k}

Every Holiday season Louis has his pupils write down their Christmas wishes for class. He's read almost every wish under the sun, but one girl's wish takes him by surprise. It's for her uncle not to be alone anymore. It's not a wild wish by any means, but Louis had no idea that former teen idol Harry Styles was lonely in the first place.

🧡 Bitter Ends Turn Sweet by @allwaswell16 {E, 30k}

It had been four years since Harry first heard the song his ex wrote about him and far longer since they broke up. He forgave Louis long ago, and now his life was focused on his career, his family, and especially his son, Max. But Louis was back in Chicago, after all this time, and he’s not an easy man to ignore.

Or a songfic inspired by the song Chicago

🧡 Love is a Compass by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10 {M, 27k}

Louis smiled to himself, knowing what Cameron was hinting at. “Did you want to stay with me in my warm bed?”

Cameron nodded as he slipped his thumb back into mouth, fighting to keep his eyes open now. “Please, Lou.”

“Sure. get some sleep, okay?” Louis hugged him tighter and closed his own eyes, his arms heavy with the weight of the little boy they were wrapped around. Just as Louis was dozing off, his eyes too heavy to keep open anymore, he heard whispered words that shattered his heart into a million more pieces.

“Please don’t go to heaven too, Lou.”

Harry waltzes into Louis’ life when everything seems to be crumbling around him. A dad overnight, grief stricken and learning to be a parent as he goes, Harry helps to bring light, laughter and, of course, baked goods back into their lives.

🧡 Enchanted by @brightgolden {E, 25k}

“My close friends usually call me H,” Harry mumbles suddenly after Louis wraps up his story.

That’s unexpected. “Are you telling me I’m your close friend now?” Louis quips, squinting his eyes at Harry.

OR Where Louis finally meets his neighbour. After a few conversations, he begins to realise he is too weak to resist the charms of the new mother and his six month old daughter.

🧡 Barefoot in Blue Jeans by @indiaalphawhiskey {E, 24k}

AU. Louis Tomlinson is trying desperately hard not to fall for his son’s au pair, but he can’t, for the life of him, remember why.

475. The hope that this fear is unfounded.

🧡 Home for Christmas by @haloeverlasting {G, 22k}

The Shameless Hallmark Movie AU you probably didn't ask for.

Or, the one where Harry didn't think he wanted a family, but with a little Christmas magic (and maybe one Louis Tomlinson) he realizes that he is very, very wrong.

🧡 Took Me by Surprise by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird {M, 20k}

Louis Tomlinson and his best friend Bridget had a daughter when they were very young and he was on the brink of becoming the next MLS star. Until he blew out his knee.

A decade later, he's the head anchor of the American version of Match of the Day and is raising the coolest nine-year-old on the planet, who happens to be obsessed with Harry Styles - popstar, musician, and all-around household name.

🧡 The Baby Whisperer by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom {E, 18k}

Harry’s newborn baby is having trouble sleeping and nothing he does seems to work. Tired and alone and at his wits end, Harry is at a loss until a new neighbour arrives to turn his world upside down.

OR the one where being neighbourly takes on a whole new meaning.

🧡 Fugue by iwillpaintasongforlou / @canonlarry {E, 16k}

Harry falls asleep a 17 year-old who lives in Cheshire and is probably rockstar Louis Tomlinson's biggest fan. He wakes up 24 with a wedding ring on his finger, two kids, and Louis Tomlinson attempting to wake him up with a blow job. The doctor calls it organic retrograde amnesia, says he might never get back the last seven years of his life. The only thing that feels the same is how he feels when Louis touches him, and maybe that's enough to make him fall in love all over again.

🧡 You're A Universe by Jiksa / @jiksax {E, 15k}

Harry doesn’t ever mean to hurt him; Louis doesn’t know how to tell him that it’s the only thing he ever does anymore.

Or, Louis’s a stay-at-home dad in London and Harry’s a business expat in Qatar. Louis doesn’t know how much longer their marriage can survive the distance.

🧡 reckless behaviour by @nouies {E, 13k}

Harry is a retired football player looking for a new opportunity. Louis is the image consultant hired to help him find it.

🧡 It'll Be by @styleandsin {E, 13k}

Louis has always wanted children and he decides he's done waiting for love to come first. However, after adopting a baby girl just days after she's born, he quickly realizes how hard parenting is. Louis hires Harry to be his Nanny, and it all works out great. Until Louis falls in love with him.

🧡 How It Begins (series) by @phdmama {E, 8k}

New town, new job, new school for his daughter. It's a chance to start again for Louis Tomlinson, a clean slate.

Or is it?

[exrasworld]

i just finished the dragon prince, and i have so many thoughts. mostly disappointing.

first of all, i don’t think that the showrunners were prepared for the show to be this long, i felt like all the arcs and whatnot were reallyyyy drawn out, and honestly, they built up this entire world just to focus on three max regions? like huh? there is so much magic and different elves that could’ve been explored, but it still focused on the same characters. i really would’ve just liked to see the show move on with uniting the elves and dragons back together and whatnot, but the entire focus was on aarvaros, which is fine, but i felt like his motivations were underwhelming.

i’ll just do a list of positive and negative

negative

1. karim was actually so useless omg. i understand why they introduced him the first time but honestly after he got banished, that entire arc was useless when he failed TWICE. there were so many long, drawn out scenes focusing on him and the whole mini arc where he and his wife were having a baby and whatnot, AND BRO STILL DIDNT CHANGE. WHAT WAS THAT FOR. stop wasting my time omggggg. but it was super hilarious to see him get crushed by aarvaros.

2. the power of love and friendship: look. i get it, this is a kid’s show and love is supposed to overpower all, but it doesn’t really make sense in this universe because they touch really serious topics and they are not afraid to do that. i don’t understand how ezran was manipulated into forgiving his father’s literal murderer, but that actually pissed me off so much. ik they saved it at the end with harrow being implied to be alive, but im so over it.

3. death of callum’s character: i love raylum, but i abandoned ship after the runaan arc in s7. all of callum’s actions were dictated by his love for rayla, which can be cute or whatever, if he didn’t fucking BETRAY his brother. the fact that he betrayed ezran made me so upset. this may be personal, but i would never let romantic love get in the way of an invaluable sibling relationship that has lasted for years longer than raylum ever has. the fact that callum ignored ezran at the council meeting and acted so uninterested in those affairs was so out of left field and really soured my perspective on his character.

4. aarvaros’ motivation: okay so his whole thing was that he was mad that the council killed his daughter, which makes sense. but if the council was in charge of the cosmic order of all things…couldn’t they just kill aarvaros?? also, why is he so persistent? like at the end he dies but he’s gonna come back in 7 years, but literally why? just to cause chaos? to see claudia? bro quite literally lives in the stars, choose another place to wreak havoc on.

5. runaan and kotolis: literally why the fuck would he return there. he just got out of a curse, which took years to break, and he just agrees with rayla that he needs to go back to kotolis? without protest? this guy quite literally killed the king and he just doesn’t seem to know that fact. i’m thinking maybe the writers did it to put a wedge into ezran and callum’s relationship or to to progress raylum? idk

6. claudia: RAHHHH i actually loved her sm but then by the end of s7 i actually just wanted her to die bro. she literally deserves it. i would’ve actually liked to see claudia either kill soren in the end or soren kill claudia. the show really wants her to be this evil person but then totally ignores that and plays the trauma card. pick a lane dude. also there was literally no reason for her to join aarvaros but she did anyway but the show for some reason kept hinting she was gonna change. i also honestly don’t think she ever cared about terry, which is sad bc he is such a sweetheart.

7. elf apocalypse: chat if there was a cosmic elf, the most powerful being in the universe that’s immortal and WILL come back in less than a decade, while he killed literally all the most powerful beings on your planet, i would just take the L atp honestly 😭😭😭😭 like there is quite literally nothing you could do that would stop him 😭😭😭

positive

1. viren’s arc: i think that he might be the best character in the entire show. his ending and his struggles into madness were really well done and his guilt was portrayed well. the whole thing where he wrote out his backstory to soren and then burned it AGHHHHH so good. his sacrifice at the end was such a good way to complete his journey as a father and as a mage. viren my goat i love you.

2. ruthari reunion: even though i do have my gripes on how it was done, their reunion was SOOOO worth it. the angsty speech ethari gave when he thought runaan was a ghost- dude i ain’t even lying when i say i started tearing up. they are actually so cute together and deserve the world.

3. jamaya wedding: self explanatory. WORTH THE WAIT I LOVE THEM

4. soren and corvis: though i think they are just friends, i see why people ship them. their interactions are so perfect and funny.

5. rayla choosing runaan: though it was a difficult decision, im so glad rayla chose runaan because he raised her and he is her true family. love their family dynamic.

that’s all i have to say rn but i probs have more. happy new year everyone :3

[shamixlour]

The Newsreader - 2x06

You know I was thinking of the way the last season ended.

These whole sequence is quite upsetting, at least for me, although I utterly enjoyed season 2 and ofc, its ending as well, which made me very excited for what is coming next. Grab something to drink, to eat because this is going to be a long one. 

~

First, just for some context.

2x06.

We’re back to a full circle moment, with Helen asking Dale to marry her as she cannot function without him, as she is willing to bear his secret and this time Dale is refusing. He doesn’t forget to tell he loves her but they can’t do that. Helen expresses then how she does not know what to do but Dale tells her something, he tells her that she just needs to do her job. 

Cut to Donna Gillies, the very noisy interviewer in Helen’s home with Dale and something happens, something that made chills run down my spine. Dale is doing his job, he’s doing something I did not expect him to do or rather felt very overwhelmed seeing him do. Dale is doing something that would help him keep his job, for a very long time. I’ll develop more later but we can see him expose to Donna that Helen left, that Geoff is stepping off, that all of his opponents are gone and he is now the only milking cow available, the only one left and how if she remains quiet regarding Dale’s sexuality, regarding Tim, she could have not only one big editorial, one selling story but multiples and throughout long years, even for the rest of Donna’s life because a great newsreader is forever. He is offering her everything she wants, a long thread of years full of exclusive coverage of the future events of his life. 

We can reason that Donna accepted the proposition because we suddenly see Helen at the airport. We can hear Dale's voice and then we see her looking at Dale through TV and the tears flood her eyes. She wants to cry as she watches him deliver the news on TV to the entire nation. I read her looks as very mixed emotions bumping into e/o. She’s sad. Helen is proud too. She is devastated because she knows the loneliness of it, the chaos behind and the devotion. She’s happy because Dale is where he wants to be. She is stunned as well because he is just really good. He’s THE newsreader.  

We can see him say : I’m Dale Jennings. Welcome to News at Six and then it cuts. I made a music analysis of this as I think it is a genius sequence.

 

Now that the context is established, I really want to get into details and share some of my interpretation and understanding of that ending + some of what I expect for the coming episodes, especially what might be coming in terms of personal affairs for Dale as we know this is the finale season of the series. 

When it comes to his personal life, I am a bit blank and lost but also, I cannot seem to dissociate it from his professional life as well. Will he be with Helen at the end? Will he be with Tim? Tbh, I don’t think Dale is going to end the series with either one of them. I don’t see the story heading there at all and I am not saying Dale does not deserve love. It’s quite the opposite actually. He deserves every ounce of love like anyone else but the thing is Dale does not love himself and I’m not necessarily a ‘you have to love yourself to be loved’ thruther but in this case, I think it goes even beyond that. In fact, I do not think who he ends up with matters that much, I don’t think his relationship with Helen is just that, meaning a romantic relationship or the one he has with Tim, just a fling, a gut wrenching crush.

I think both relationships go beyond that and mean much more than what they outwardly portray and imho, lie in there the entirety of the story, or most of it at least. 

Dale despises such a big part of who he is that it eats him alive from within, that it doesn't allow him to thrive, to live, to breathe. He hates himself for it, for these feelings he thought would disappear, for this way of loving that does not seem to fit anywhere, for however hard he tries, it never seems to be enough, it is always not normal. Dales hates it. He really does and I think that is why, deep down, he runs after a certain form of recognition, through TV, through the entire nation of Australia, through his colleagues at the News office, through his mom, through Helen.

I mean we are speaking of the man that took speech classes for his voice because it wasn’t good enough for the rest of the world, of the man that instantly changed his hairstyle the moment Helen tells him he looks better like that, more appropriate for TV. These events seem quite futile and silly almost but imho, they hold greater meanings and enlighten in a horrendous beam the deep and profound trauma and ache, the dreadful desire to please and be accepted, loved and respected. He runs after reassurance from Helen and finds it for a while. Dale also runs after a horrible sense of normality, of something common and ordinary and finds it again until it all crumbles down because he is not normal, because he does not fit anywhere, because he is broken. Just to be clear, Dale loves Helen, I never doubted that. I think he truly does but I believe he loves the idea of what she represents too, the safety she embodies if she is affiliated to him in society, in the 80s, as a public figure. He loves her for the confident newsreader in her, for how she manages to maintain the persona, how she holds it in despite being on the verge of tumbling down. Dale loves her as she, deep down, cares for him, loves him unconditionally (not necessarily romantically but as human to human, as a person to another one) and that regardless of the fights and despite the refusals. He knows they love each other and this is precisely why Dale does what he does. 

At the end of the season, I almost saw a bit of early-day Helen in him. He grew cold, he maintained that perfect facade for the press, for the world. Just like he promised it to Donna, to himself in a way and it reminded me of when they were shooting their supposedly lovely candid shots in their home and Dale was not comfortable as everything was too much and planned and fake and Helen told him that this is how it was supposed to be, that they had to reflect to the public that perfect picture because they were the newsreaders, the perfect ever lasting couple. 

Dale accepts and fall into that at the end. He has a goal, the desk and does anything to get to it, is willing to hide himself even deeper in the trenches to match that polished version of himself. 

The newsreader. The perfect face, the one you trust to deliver news to the world, forever. 

That, again, genuinely made chills run down my spine because, first of all it echoes the ending of season 1 where we can see a happy Dale and Helen on the desk, with Tim in the back, smiling at the vision of it because Dale finally did it. But also bcs as we got a full circle moment with the proposal, I felt like we had a full circle moment with that too and it broke my heart as I know the desk has always been a dream of his, as far as his childhood but at what cost. 

This is what season 3 will develop imo, or at least I hope so. It is going to be sad for sure and I know he is going to be hated, I know he is going to crumble down at some point and I expect Tim to reappear too and threatens that fake stability Dale seems to engulf himself within. I know they’re going to be opponents with Helen and I wonder how he will manage that too, the tension of it all. I expect him to be even more cold and hard, to lose himself furthermore up to the point he snaps and because I hope for a happy ending, I want to see Dale find himself again and love himself for it. I want to see the newsreader if it still is what he wants to do, although I can see him doing documentaries or on site live newsflashes. 

Essentially, I hope to see Dale realise that he can be forever, that he can be the face that can be trusted, that he is the face all while accepting himself, all while being at peace with who he truly is. I see him having a lovely relationship with Helen and not necessarily romantic. I think their souls are linked in ways that are hard to explain and I wish to see them as good friends, colleagues or at least as a joyful warm memory in e/o’s life. I hope he makes things right with Tim too.

Either way, it is going to be sad, hard to watch but I just know they will deliver.

Anyway, I am going to end this here before it gets too long. If you read all of this, thank you very much and please do not hesitate to hop into the conversation ^v^

[h50europe]

I am not sure if anyone would read a plot like that. But I am playing with the idea of an AU

BUCK/TOMMY BODYGUARD AU - FREE FALLING

Evan Buckley, Buck for his friends and management, is a rising star in action cinema. He often portrays rugged, charming characters who attract the attention of many women. Despite his success, these roles only partially satisfy Buck. However, they provide the financial means to sustain his opulent lifestyle. His management perceives him as a ladies' man and arranges multiple romantic entanglements. Initially, everything seemed fine. However, the situation takes a dark turn when Buck's "girlfriends" are killed one by one, and he begins receiving menacing letters.

From now on, instead of another love affair, he has a bodyguard at his side. At first, the two men behave like cats and dogs. But there's a reason for this. Buck's bodyguard unleashes a chaos of emotions in the younger man, threatening to throw him off course even more than he already is.

Tommy Kinard is a highly skilled professional who protects individuals from politicians to celebrities. Despite a severe injury (sustained during his time with the Navy SEALS), he pursued various career paths, including serving as a private investigator and trying his hand at helicopter flying in Hawaii, before eventually entering the bodyguard business with his longtime friend Bobby Nash. Bobby and his wife Athena successfully operate Bedlam Securities, a highly sought-after agency in Los Angeles with additional offices in New York and Chicago. When Buck's management approaches Bobby and Athena, they see an opportunity to entice Tommy back into the business. The recent loss of his protege, a musician, has left Tommy with self-doubt, even though he wasn't responsible for the musician's death. After facing multiple struggles with drug withdrawal, the musician's career came to an end, culminating in a failed farewell tour that ended tragically at an after-party. Tommy believes he could have prevented the musician's death had he been present that night.

Tommy is less than enthusiastic when Bobby and Athena introduce him to their new client. But something about the younger man, who everyone calls Buck, piques his interest. And because Tommy isn't everybody else, he calls him by his first name, Evan. Something the actor finds cute. The more time they spend together, the closer they become, which surprises Tommy, given the number of women who send his client used underwear by courier and other weird stuff. Buck awakens feelings in Tommy that he thinks he has buried forever after a failed relationship. Neither can deny that they are heading down a dangerous path as they learn that their relationship is more than business. Without a doubt, this assignment will inevitably put them both at risk in more ways than one.

The idea was sparked my post here

[princesssmars]

a royal affair

after their trumph against the crone and a long journey home, jade and kit return to a bustling kingdom and a tense relationship. little do they know the answer to their problems lies in a foreign princess.

wc : 6.096

contains : sfw and nsfw content. takes place after the season ends. dont ask me how they got back idfk. fxfxf poly relationship. kit and jade mutually start to like reader so no cheating. slight jealousy later but all resolved. reader is a fem!princess. skin color not described. reader is described as having hair. reader wears dresses and pants. arranged marriage but it ends well promise. nsfw includes kissing, oral, and penetrative sex. a strap on because i like em. switch reader, switch jade, dom kit bc i think its be cool if she was a freak idfk.

a/n : i need to be neutered. disney bring willow back or i send b0mb. kingdom name generator sucks so yes ur kingdom is one from skyrim. enjoy.

it was over. it was finally over.

after a few months on the road fighting for their lives, discovering lost and painful secrets, and facing an ancient evil and actually surviving, the group from tir asleen were so glad to return home.

and none of the group were as thankful to return home as kit. sure when she got back she'd have to explain to the king of a neighboring country that his son, her fiancée, had died suddenly at the hands of the crone, and she'd have to deal with her best friend who was now more than that who was a member by birth of a clan she and her people previously thought were barbarians, and don't get her started on the whole thing with her dad actually still being alive.

but on that first night back as she takes a two hour long bath and flops onto her bed, she realized it was all so worth it.

when they returned it was nothing short of chaos. at that point a good portion of the people had thought the group had perished on the road, either due to the harsh climates, thieves, or probably just their own poor judgements and inexperience. but the kingdom had collectively lifted in spirits when the new heroes of tir asleen returned, victorious against a great evil and bringing back their beloved prince.

(the news about the whole giant evil wyrm thing was kept under wraps as to "not disturb this long needed sense of peace", as said by queen sorsha herself, who was surprised but not rejecting when as soon as they returned both of her twins slumped into her arms and gave her a giant warm hug.)

this so called sense of peace brought more changes than they expected. it was almost like the realm was revitalized, the daikinis expanding their reach and the nelwyns trusting willow enough when he suggested that they stop living in darkness and start rebuilding their community.

it was really nice, for most people to not be so afraid all of the time. but kit couldn’t truly revel in the shared joy of the people. not when she knew what she had learned out there.

that jade was a bone-reaver. that she had a sister and a whole community waiting back for her in the wilderness, and soon she would have to make a decision if she would stay here, with kit and the people who technically had stolen her from her family but she had nevertheless grown to love, or back with the reavers to build a connection with people who would welcome her with open arms.

every day between the two was tense. those romantic feelings were still there, obvious between the gazes in hallways and the frantic make outs in the dead of night in each others beds. but there was a weight, a sinking feeling in the both of their stomachs after each shared moment. the knowledge that one day this might end.

a few weeks into their return they don’t get much time to feel on it, as queen sorsha is alerted that two kingdoms from the north and the east have heard of the kingdoms triumphs and would like to visit to form alliances. kits a bit shocked that her mother seems so open to the idea, but figured anything would be better than her focusing on the threat of the wyrm and what will come of the shaken galladoorn king.

the preparation is a whirlwind, workers of the castle working day and night to get ready for the stay of distant royalty. whenever she’d stop by the kitchens to sneak away a snack it was as busy as she’d ever seen it, her favorite cook margaret always rushing her out before she could get a pastry.

kit had to admit she was wary about visitors. it’s not like a journey akin to the one she went on made for a perfect tale of random hospitality when it came to new people.

nevertheless, the time for the royals banquet came in the blink of an eye. she had spent a great deal of the day letting her lady’s maids get her read, taking a bath after an early morning air with jade, fixing her tousled hair and putting her in a classy yet breathable dress.

when she finally does get to the feast, she’s surprised by how much fun she actually has. a few lower ranking royals and warrior had coke from each kingdom, and spent the night telling stories from their pasts and some even reenacting them for the queen. kit swore she even saw her mother laugh at one of the stories, something about a stupid man falling head over heels for a woman who hated his guts.

kit was nothing but enthralled by the important guest of the evening. the royal family of the eastern kingdom, maelstrom, were a collection of tough looking people hardened by battles and a love for fighting. despite thinking they would be a family of scary hard asses, they had come bearing a multitude of gifts, the king constantly wearing a smile on his face as he was ecstatic to meet the legendary warrior turned queen sorsha.

and then there were the others. the royal family of winterhold, were a small family but carried a regal and powerful air about them. before eating the first course a noble guard had told her and jade some things about them, like how the family were known for being gracious but ruling with an iron fist. they had trampled many threats, people regularly mistaking their beautiful appearances for weakness.

and the princess of tir asleen had to admit she was guilty of the same thing. for the first hour she frequently catches the eye of a girl she’s never seen before from across the room. she can tell she’s an important person from the north, seen by her intricate hairstyle and the furs of her dress. every time you lock eyes you send her a little smile and she quickly turns her head away to avoid you.

she would feel guilty if a little while later when looking for jade who had wandered off she didn’t catch the both of you in the midst of conversation, jades sword in your hands as you admire the craftsmanship.

“it really is a beautiful weapon, jade. i’d love to see you use it in action, i’m sure you’re more than proficient with it.” kit listens to your conversation as she walks up behind the two of you, noticing how close you stand next to her knight.

“i don’t know how appropriate it would be for me to train in front of a visiting royal, but i’m sure i could pull some strings.“ jades head bows and tilts to yours, a sign kit recognizes as the red head being bashful. she doesn’t like how it makes her feel.

almost like you have a sixth sense you turn towards the princess, the quickness of it and your face being so close to hers throwing her off a bit.

“your highness, we finally meet. your companion here was just regaling me with the tale of your adventure and defeat of the crone. i have to admit im more than impressed.”

“it’s nice to meet you princess. i’m glad you’re warming up to us here. if you don’t mind, i’d like to talk to my close friend here. alone.”

“kit!” jade hissed, hoping you don’t take her partners words in the wrong way. but all you did was smile, bidding the two girls a good night and that you looked forward to seeing them later.

(jade wouldn’t admit that she thought jealousy was a rather cute look on the girl, especially later that night when the princess was moving like a woman starved to remove her clothing, staring at her body like she was going to tear her apart. she would let a little jealousy slide then.)

before the pair went to sleep jade decided to bring it up, not wanting the two them to go to sleep with any grudges or things left unsaid. it didn’t take much for kit to admit her feelings at the encounter she had with the foreign princess, but it did shock her when jade thought it was alright since she caught kit staring at you. a lot.

the next few days are now tense for a completely different reason. there is a mutual understanding between kit and jade that they both find you attractive, but they agree not to do anything about it in fear of freaking you out and jeopardizing the alliance. they swore to both be on their best behaviors'

but it was pretty damn hard to do so when it seemed like you were flirting with them often. the best example would be on the days that they sparred, you would frequently not be too far away as you watched the both of them with great interest. sometimes it would make one of them fumble, leading to the other to gain an advantage and win the round which always made you laugh before you left.

when it was clear that the two of them were going to keep dancing around whatever this was, you decided to take matters into your own hands. after careful observations you could tell what would attract each of the girls to you.

jade was more open to you after that first meeting. she was dedicated to the crown, although not as much as you would expect, but you could save that question for another day, and if you asked her for help with anything she would dutifully do as you requested. your favorite was asking her to show you some of her moves and attacks, praising her for her skills and what a talented warrior she was.

the warrior had a thing for praise - you realized when you complimented her for her strength after a simple self defense lesson ended up with you on the floor - could this get any better?

kit was a bit harder to crack for you. even with some careful questions and answers from jade, the brunette was still a bit standoffish when it came to you, most likely because you were flirting with her lover in front of her face and then flirted with her back after. but the clear internal battle in her was so intriguing to watch you couldn’t help but feed the flames.

since both of you were the heirs to your kingdoms and your mothers were still negotiating, the two of you spent quite a bit of time together inside the palace. granted most of it was spent in formal settings like meetings, dinners, et cetera. you could tell kit was constantly trying her hardest to be polite, but would sometimes let a sly remark slip through. you’re just glad they were directed at you under her breath; if you’re mother heard any disrespect targeted at you she’d most likely command her soldiers to attack at once.

but you were nothing if not persistent and determined. you would sometimes catch the way kit looked at jade, her pupils dilated and her lips bitten when the knight would stretch or show a sliver of the skin in her stomach. it was almost too easy to grab her attention when you started dressing in more traditional tir asleenian attire, swapping between tight pants to show off your figure or airy dresses with drooping necklines. they were drastically different from the garments from home, most of your clothes having fur and heavy fabrics.

you can still vividly picture the look on kit's face when you passed each other in the halls one morning, her eyes drawn like a magnet to the skin of your neck and the top of your cleavage in your pretty blouse. for added effect, you had worn one of those semi-corsets you'd seen the princess occasionally wearing. partly because you wanted her attention and partly because you thought they were cute.

besides trying to seduce the pair, they eventually became two people who you truly enjoyed being in your company. you were surprised at the leniency queen sorsha gave her children, the twins given free reign over the castle and the villages nearby. kit herself invited you once to join them in, lightly teasing you as for the first time she saw you nervous, scared of getting caught and having to face the wrath of your mother.

but one night it all became so, so worth it. a dark tavern, too much ale, and an off handed comment about how cute you found their not-so-secret relationship led to you three in a cramped rented room in a mix of kisses and tongues and limbs.

you had to admit you were thoroughly surprised by their dynamics in bed. when it came to training you noticed that whatever jade said to kit goes, the princess clearly having a deep affection and respect for the older girl. you would have thought that it would carry over into the bedroom and jade would be pinning kit to the bed, but when the three of you rush into the rented bedroom and kit pins jade's hands above her head you are exceptionally excited.

you sit yourself down on the bed, facing the tangled lovers while you slowly start to undress yourself. when you take off your top and your cloth bra, jade can't help but let out a moan at the feeling of one princess sucking and biting a mark into her neck and one exposing her breasts and smiling at her like a siren. she gets so overwhelmed when she feels kit's eager hand grasp her breath she has to push the girl by the shoulders, tilting her head to bring her attention to you.

now, you had had your fair share of trysts back home, easily able to find girls who had either wanted to experiment or just have one shot with the princess of winterhold. most of the time you had intercourse with girls you'd take on the more dominant role, be it because of the way some girls were inexperienced, some were just submissive at heart, and how you didnt think you enjoyed anything more than seeing pretty girls fall apart under you.

but as you and kit are almost violently fighting for dominance while she kissed you like she was almost insane, you're starting to think that duke's daughter you slept with a year ago who said "you're a control freak in court and it travels down into your sexual life." really was onto something.

you swore the brunette was about to give in, little moans escaping from her lips and her eyes rolling back into her head when you tug her hair to get access to her neck, but you suddenly get the wind knocked out of you when she's flipping you over and pressing you into the bed, your arms suddenly held above your head by jade as kit looks at you with a wild grin.

maybe you can be on the bottom, just this once.

except 'just that once' turned into a whole lot more than once. after that first night of passion and lust it seemed like the three of you couldnt keep your hands off of each other, taking any chance possible to sneak into a room or hidden broom closet to induldge in each other.

while you were able to change thins uo when you were with jade, a simple praise and brush across her neck turning the girl to putty in your arms. you had to be careful, though. once after another unneeded self defense lesson where she had beaten and pinned you in under a minute, one little "god, im so proud of you." led to her nearly humping you like a dog outside on the rocks.

but no matter what you did you still couldnt manage to dominate kit. youd be damning her to the high heavens if it didnt turn you on immensely on she could so quickly reduce you to a whimpering and begging mess.

it got to the point where you were daydreaming about her constantly. when you passed each other in the halls you shivered when her hand brushed against yours and it gave you the muscle memory of her lithe fingers curling and thrusting inside of you, when you were eating together your eyes focused on the movement of her mouth and how you could picture her mouthing at your cunt, or even how when you got the princess and jade tangled up after a spar you got so many ideas how badly you wanted your legs tangled with theirs as you felt your pleasure together.

they were actually driving you crazy. you, the heir of winterhold, fawning over a princess and her ptoector. if those girls back home could see you now they'd cackle.

the three of you werent as sneaky as you would have hoped though.

one night, kit had come to the two of you with a proposition and a package she had acquired, asking if you would like to try it out. jade had opened the package and the way her breathing stopped and eyes enlarged made you think there was actually a rabid wolf inside of the box, but instead she pulls out an object that is long and black and phallic. you’re a little embarrassed to even think of the flutter it starts in your chest.

"i think ill opt out, this once," you nervously squirm in your place. "gods, kit. where did you even get that? ive heard about these but ive never actually seen one."

"aw, are you scared?" kit pinches your shoulder and slightly winces when you do it to her wrist.

jade scoffs at the two of you before telling kit to stop teasing you, assuring you that you didnt have to do anything you didnt want to. gods, she was so sweet to you, always making sure you were comfortable with whatever was happening between the three of you. you just couldn't help yourself when kit was pounding the toy into her, her soft red curls resting on your lap as her big green eyes stared up at you. you could tell that your unmoving gaze on her face and the touch of your hands moving across her face, neck, and chest was not helping in her struggle to keep her noises at bay.

so when your fingers traveled to her breasts and squeezed her nipples, could you really blame yourself for the loud moan that came from her throat? it wasn't exactly your fault she was sensitive. although if it was up to her she would say you definitely knew what you were doing, especially when your fingers trailed down her torso and lightly grazed her clit just at the same moment kit roughly trusted her hips and hit the gooey spot deep inside of her.

looking back, it was only a matter of time until the three of you got caught.

only three days later both of your mothers asked you and kit to join them to a private tea. it wasn't odd for your mother to ask you to tea with her at home, but she hadn't called for you since you arrived in tir asleen. on the way kit had even told you her mother hated tea, and she couldn't recall a time in recent years when the two of them just sat in a room talking to each other without an argument starting.

when you entered the room you could immediately tell something was wrong. first, jade and erik were there; jade was supposed to have a rare day of rest today, and erik was...well, he wasn't often present at important conversations you had come to learn. second, your mother looked on edge. in all your years on earth, you had never seen her show any sign of weakness, the woman learning from a young age that being a ruler of an entire nation meant constantly being guarded. the sight of her being nervous put a sick feeling in your stomach.

"uh, mom? is something going on?" kit took a blunt approach before sitting down on the armchair across from her mother as you did the same. sorsha face looked tense but also a little judgy if you were reading her right.

sorsha raised her hand in a simple gesture and a timid-looking girl wearing a maid uniform came rushing from the corner of the room until she stood behind the sitting queen. you stared at her for a second until the realization hit you like a brick in the face. you never caught her name, but you knew she worked in the hallways surrounding kits room.

"this is moira, one of the new maids who works in the west wing," sorsha begins to explain as the maid in question can't meet your eyes, her eyes staring at her feet. "a few days ago she took the night shift for cleaning some of the floors and heard something quite peculiar coming from your room, kit."

"mom, i can explain-"

"no, kit, we would really like you to not explain." the queen's voiced raised as she quickly cut kit off, the girl's body going rigid beside yours. at this point you were the same, your mom's cold glare making you uncomfortable in your seat.

"although i'm slightly embarrassed at this situation, both because of the nature of it and how fast it seems to be spreading among the staff, queen morwine and i have come up with a proposed solution to this."

as soon as you heard this proposed (more like already decided) idea, for the two of you to get married in the following weeks, you think you blacked out for a few hours. and in hindsight that was horrifying. if there was anything your parents taught you it was to be composed, to be ready for anything at a moment's notice. but to be fair you'd never had to deal with an arranged marriage proposal before.

everything you could remember after it was said was a blur. you could remember kit yelling, obviously opposed to the idea of yet another arranged marriage, at the fact that she thought she had finally managed to finally convince her mother that she deserved the right to choose who she wanted to spend the rest of her life with and had proven she wasn't just a political pawn. even though you agreed with what she was saying, the malice in her voice from even just the idea of marrying you hurt.

jade was in an equal state of shock and only moved from her spot when you stumbled out of the room to the audible disapproval from your mother and rushed down the halls.

before you knew it you had run out of breath and settled on a log by a lake not far from the castle grounds. the sun was setting and there were fireflies out over the water. you could hear frogs croaking. it was nice. peaceful.

the knight gently rested a hand on your shoulder. "are you alright?"

you really didnt know how to answer the question.

"up north all of our lakes are frozen solid. the only time you see the water is when the ice is broken for ice sellers or a fool falls through on a dare that they can walk all the way across. i'd never even seen a fully melted one until we started to journey here," you breathe slowly and rub your hands up your arms, the night chill starting to take an effect. jade sits beside you and her natural warmth makes you feel a little better. "i care about you both, really, i do. but whatever this is has only just started and i...i don't know if I'm ready to give my whole life up for it."

the air goes quiet and the sun sets before she walks you back to your room, pausing outside of the door and taking your hand in hers and pressing a soft kiss to the back of your hand.

"i know this will be difficult but just...don't shut us out, please."

you could only give her a smile before you shut the door.

the next two weeks were tense.

sometimes when you were little you'd dream about your wedding, picturing a gorgeous girl waiting for you at the end of a beautiful altar and everything would be big and grand and snowy and perfect.

but now you're in a nation that's hot and filled with people you don't know but you're apparently about to rule over, and your gorgeous girl has been giving you the cold treatment ever since the news broke. you had tried cornering her in the halls, after sparring, even after dinner, but she always found a way to get around you and continue doing whatever the hell she was doing.

she wasn't talking to jade either, which slightly made you feel better because if she was you'd be feeling jealous, left a sour taste in your mouth at how she was shutting both of you out for no reason. one night jade had snuck extremely carefully into your room to bring you some snacks you'd been craving and had told you that the princess was just feeling a mix of betrayal, hurt, and worry all at the same time and wasn't the best at handling her emotions when she was upset.

if there was anything keeping you grounded at that time it was jade. she had to tread carefully so it didn't look like she was choosing sides between the two of you, but she always made sure to be there when you were slipping. one of the royal wedding planners was pressuring you to pick a flower to add to the bouquets that would be used to decorate the ceremony and the one you'd hold as you walked down the aisle, and just when you were on the brink on breaking down and just retreating to you room altogether jade stepped in for you and recommended a mix of your favorite flowers from your homeland and kits, signifying the union of your nations in a small but beautiful way.

and maybe having so much of her attention and still having to see kits stupid but cute upset face whenever she saw the two of you got to your head, because later that night you're sitting with jade by that same lake from a while ago and kissing her like your starving, pulling her closer by the back of her neck while your hips grind into hers like you'll die if you don't get closer to her. a few weeks ago you had all agreed to not leave too visible marks, but when you bite roughly on her collarbone and she pulls you closer by your hips, you don't really think she cares.

which is great for you, because when you walk with jade to drop her off at her training session and kit sees the mark on her skin her reaction is worth every bit of sadness you felt.

the night before your wedding was nice you would admit. there was a banquet with both families and a few dozen others, which gave you a crazy sense of deja vu, and you were able to somewhat enjoy yourself. your younger siblings were teasing you nonstop and some of the more vulgar court members were doing the same in a way that made you slightly uncomfortable, but nothing you hadn't heard before. it'd be made better if your bride-to-be wasn't glaring holes into the side of your head every so often, but you would take what you could get.

once the party has ended and an uncountable amount of people had wished you 'good luck's and 'congratulations'' for the following day, you trek back to your bedroom and decide to wind how with a nice warm bath and some scents a courier had brought from your home. just as you had poured the liquid into the water and sunk into the water, the gentle whoosh of the bathroom door opening and closing has your eyes widening and reaching for the closest thing you could as a weapon when your gaze lands on kit, standing at the door with her arms crossed and staring you down.

"if you don't mind, i'd like to spend my night alone and not with you leering at me while i do it."

"to be fair, its nothing i haven't seen before," she smirks and starts to walk closer to your bath, not being able to avoid you flicking water on her clothes. "this is serious, i want...i need to talk to you."

you can't help but scoff at her words. "oh, you need to talk to me? i wasn't really getting that from the past two weeks of silence and ignoring."

"i know, i get it, and im sorry-"

"that's not enough."

you close your eyes and focus on your breathing, not wanting a fight to start lest anyone hear it through the walls. you can hear the sound of kit's boots moving until they stop at the side of your tub, seeing the girl get on her knees before softly taking your hand and holding it over her heart.

"you're right, its not enough. i acted like a complete and utter dick to you and you didn't deserve it. i was so in my head about the wedding, and my mom and graydon and jade and you, that i shut both of you out when we all should have been with each other. and i swear I'm gonna spend the rest of our dumb married lives making it up to you."

you couldn't help but snort at her while she apologized, able to tell that she truly meant it. it was all just hitting you how much you missed her these past few weeks, how she was always trying to say something humourous to break your 'cold exterior'.

(she thought that joke was hilarious and neither you nor jade had the heart to tell her it was lame.)

"i forgive you, kit. and dont think for a second that im not going to hold you to that promise." you brought a hand up to sweep some hair away from her face, chuckling when she lightly tries to shake off the water your fingers left.

she looks at you so fondly before giving you a light kiss on your lips. but blame it one the faint traces of alcohol still in your system, or the low lighting of the bathroom, or just the sensitivity from opening up to each other, but the kiss quickly turns heated before you're both hurriedly rushing to remove her clothing before she's joining you in the bath, the both of you giggling as water sloshes on the ground and you nearly cackle when you see kits giant little toy below her hips.

"were you planning this? you expected me to forgive you as easily as i did?"

"no, but. a princess is always prepared."

luckily no loud noises were heard in the hallway (where jade happened to be standing outside of your bedroom door for both protection and assurance for kit), even though it took biting your lip until you thought it would bleed before kit took some pity on you before she manuevered your body to take you from behind, covering your mouth with her hand as your eyes roll to the back of your head.

once your high hits you with what feels like the power of a hundred stars, the girl carefully lifts you from the cold water and helps you dry off before leading you to lie down on your bed, where jade waits in the middle after assuring you all helpers on the night shift didn't come near your room out of respect or privacy.

you laid in between the two girls, jade in front of you and kit behind you as they snuggled into you and held hands across your waist. they whispered sweet words in the darkness of the room, promising each other that they wouldn't let this get in the way of their previous relationship, that they hoped to build a great life with you by their side, and that they couldn't wait to spend the rest of their lives with you.

you fell asleep dreaming of a white wedding in spring. you really enjoyed it.

when you woke up the two of them had already left to get ready for the wedding, as a handful of lady's maids came in to prepare you for the day. you were thankful they ignored how worn out you looked as they helped you to take another bath and do up your hair.

if there was one thing you loved most it was your dress. it was a traditional but gorgeous dress from your homeland, and you were glad your mother insisted on it being made exactly the way you had envisioned. she might have forced you into a marriage but she'd be damned if you didn't look exactly how you had always dreamed.

the preparation was over in what felt like a second, and before you knew it you were walking down the aisle. the renovated dining hall was ethereal, decorated in a combination of white and purples and blues and pinks and greens. winter meets spring.

regret was seeping into you for picking jade to be your maid of honor because seeing her stand across from kit makes you feel so nervous and sick and in love that you want to just turn around and take a breather for a few hours.

the vows arent long and once you give her a quick kiss it doesn't fully register in your mind that the two of you are actually married now. but it does feel different. like there's a new gravity to your relationship that wasn't there before that both terrifies and excites you.

the reception is lovely as well. compared to last night there are less inappropriate jokes and more genuine well-wishes for the two of you and what this marriage will do for both kingdoms.

the mention of your home would make your mouth twitch. you were starting to become truly happy here, but you would always miss winterhold.

after the food was served and some forms of entertainment were performing for the crown, your mother pulled you aside to talk. at this point, you hadn't talked to her in a few weeks, safe for required details about the wedding or basic pleasantries.

"i understand you're upset with me, and i know that i will have to earn your trust again. and i will do so no matter how long it takes. sorsha and i have been discussing establishing a safer and faster trade route between here and winterhold, maybe start establishing some new towns to people displaced by this crone madness. once its finished you can come back whenever you'd like. it will always be your home, no matter what."

you hugged her tighter than you ever had before.

after the toasts are made and the festivities of the night (which were very fun, you had to admit. you asked kit what gave some of the people such a love for fun and partying and she said it was something her dad brought out in people) are over you make your way to kits room and plop yourself down on the bed, kit and jade in tow and plopping down themselves. its quiet for a while. as they help you out of your wedding dress no words are said. nothing about how two of you are going to be queens once sorsha steps down, nothing about how jade has agreed to go visit her sister for a while to bond with her family and her people before coming back and seeing if there was any way to help them more, or how kit would most likely go on another adventure with boorman and the elora danan to help her father escape from wherever he was.

all you could focus on was the two girls who you cared about more than anything and being surrounded by them as you fell asleep, knowing that whatever new surprises that came in the future you would face.

together.

i love them a lot is it obvious. the bath scene was inspired by a p0rn video i saw on twitter but then i remembered they didn't have showers in that time period :( i didn't realize until the end that i barely talked about boorman elora and willow... ok bye bye

[thewritingmagician2022]

Hi! For Valentine’s Day coming up I was wondering if you could do the demon bros (Satan specifically but whatever you feel like) proposing to MC? (Thank you so much <3)

So it’s mid-summer, two years later give or take. That’s the perfect time to do a Valentine’s Day prompt, right? Genuinely, I am sorry. I’ve explained before that health issues took over my life. There are times when I’m so chronically fatigued I can barely read let alone write anything. I already know this probably won’t be as great as you were hoping for (if you even end up seeing this) but I hope it’s still something to make you smile!

Lucifer: Of course Lucifer is going to go all out for his proposal - do you think he would ever offer you anything but the best? It’ll be a formal affair at a restaurant where he booked a private room for you both with a bottle of some of the best wine (or nonalcoholic drink) available and a custom gourmet menu fitted distinctly to your tastes. There will be ambient lighting and live music playing and you’ll both be dressed up to the nines. I think he’d be the kind of man who chose a classic day to propose, like an anniversary of some sort. One that’s important enough to warrant celebration and keep you from getting too suspicious of the grandiosity but also one that’s innocuous enough that you don’t assume a proposal will follow.

Everything will be going smoothly and Lucifer has just begun his meticulously written (and rewritten several times over) speech when his brothers burst into the restaurant, causing absolute chaos. The food is being eaten, the wine drank, the music is interrupted, and his brothers are all arguing and yelling for your attention. He genuinely considers killing them for ruining what’s supposed to be a special occasion but he sees you smiling at them so fondly, rather getting upset like any normal person would, and so he completely drops his speech and asks you if you’d spend forever with him, dealing with his idiot brothers and helping him clean up their messes. Of course you agree because there’s nowhere else you’d rather be than by his side at the head of this perfectly imperfect little family you’ve found.

Mammon: Mammon is not the most romantic of his brothers, if we’re being honest. He’s not very good at planning things out - he doesn’t have the attention span for it or the consideration it takes. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you as much as they do; on the contrary, one could argue he loves you far more than the others could ever dream of. Mammon doesn’t need a big fancy moment, certainly nothing like Lucifer planned, to propose to you. He doesn’t even have to think about doing it. One minute he’s sitting in his baby with you, riding on the coast, watching the grin on your face and your sparkling eyes and the way your hair blows in the strong wind from the speeding convertible, and the next he’s asking you to do this with him forever. Just always stay by his side and he’ll be happy, and he’ll do anything and everything in his power to make you happy too. He doesn’t have a diamond ring or anything to give you but he offers up one of his signature rings (maybe on one of his chains if it doesn’t fit your hand). He’s giving you a piece of himself, a cherished possession, showing you that this avatar of greed doesn’t need anything else but you. For you, he can be good and generous, and he promises to spend the rest of your lives together showing up for you as the best demon he can be. He wants to be your first demon and your last, if you’ll have him.

Levi: Levi is so so nervous about proposing. Every day he feels blessed by the base gods that you’ve given him a chance to date you; asking you to marry him feels like he’s pushing his luck. But he loves you so much and you’ve both grown so much together that he feels ready to take that step. He doesn’t just wanna be your simp boyfriend anymore, he wants to be your simp husband, and so he sets about coming up with a proposal that suits the both you more than anything traditionally romantic.

It takes him literally months to create the perfect set up. He develops a cute co-op video game not unlike StarDew Valley where you guys can build your little lives together. You design your home and get jobs and get pets; it’s all so charming and cozy and, as always, you guys agree on just about everything because you’re more than lovers, you’re best friends. At the end of the game, Levi’s character proposes to yours with a cute little speech about how he wants you to be his player 2 for the rest of your lives, both here and in real life. He tells you how much your love has inspired him and helped him grow and how he can’t wait to spend the rest of his life leveling up with you as you go on adventures together and make your way through the most dangerous game in the world - life.

Satan: Satan is a diehard romantic underneath that intellectual, rage filled exterior. He’s read all the books and seen all the movies; he’s constantly coming up with bigger and better ways to propose to you. He wants it to be a memorable occasion and something worthy of you, which is a hard feat because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened in this damned place.

He eventually settles on creating an interactive experience. It’ll be a scavenger hunt/mystery sort of game where he involves all his brothers and the other characters to take you on your quest around the Devildom. You’ll visit all of your most meaningful spots, get little mementos from important moments in your relationship, receive little love notes from him filled with your favorite quotes from your favorite books. When you find Satan at the end of the journey, where he’s already kneeling with the loveliest ring pulled out, he thanks you for showing him that he was capable of such warmth and kindness and love. He talks about how he never understood romance or love until he met you, and now it’s his favorite genre. You are everything he could have ever dreamed of, better than any character he’s ever read about, and he never wants to let you do. Then he’ll ask you to continue writing this love story with him and give it a happily ever after ending.

Asmo: Asmo would probably expect to be proposed to honestly, rather than doing the proposing. He’s used to being chased and wooed but, just for you, he’ll take the lead. He just has to do this for his honey; it’s the very least they deserve. Asmo knows he’s simply divine and you are a very lucky human but he also knows how much you have to deal with when being with him so he decides to use this opportunity to make you feel as special and loved as you truly are.

He’s going to take you to the spa and all of your favorite places to buy you whatever you glance at for more than a minute and whatever food you want. He will be the one waiting on you hand and foot for once. He wants you to understand that he’s willing to put in the effort and dedication for you; he’s willing to commit to you and be this giving, steady presence forever, not just a fun boyfriend for now. It’s easy to show someone you want them but it’s much harder to show them that you need them and love them and respect them; however, Asmo is going to spend the entire day trying to achieve just that. By the end of your lovely dinner, he’s pulling out the biggest and nicest engagement rings ever seen (yes, one for each of you obviously and of course they’re a matching set) and asking you to love him forever.

Beel: Sweet, sweet Beel tries so hard to be romantic for his proposal. He knows really early on that he wants to marry you (he’s a male wife, okay?) but he can’t think of anything good! Nothing feels like it’s good enough for you or shows how much he loves you. So he goes to his brothers for help and they help him come with the tried and true proposal over a nice dinner with the ring in your dessert - it being related to food just really fits in with Beel - and they know how much you love your Devildom sweets.

The night is going so well. The dinner is delicious and you two are laughing the whole time and you definitely have no idea what’s coming. Beel is so excited by the surprise that he’s actually not even eating as much as normal which you’ve noticed. By the time dessert comes, Beel is running on adrenaline. He’s excited, he’s nervous, he’s starving. His half out of his mind by the time the desserts come and he’s scarfing down the parfait as quickly as possible and watching for your reaction when you find the ring. Except…you don’t. You finish your entire parfait without anything in your way and Beel has to call over the waiter to none too subtly ask what happened to your ring. It quickly becomes apparent that the desserts had been mixed up and Beel, in his haste to get through dessert, never noticed the ring in his meaning that it’s currently in his stomach right now. At this point Beel has no choice but to tell you what happened and he’s so embarrassed but you’re laughing in the nicest way and telling him you love him and you can’t wait to marry him once you get that ring. You do ask him to make sure it’s professionally cleaned though.

Belphie: For someone who is so lazy, Belphie really puts a lot of thought into proposing to you. Belphie never thought he’d be getting married, let alone to a human, but now that he has you, he wants to keep you forever. Sometimes it’s a tempting thought to just lock you in the attic where you can’t leave but he knows a proposal would be much more effective and much less traumatic, which is something he’s trying to work on for you. Autonomy and safety are non negotiable, apparently.

With that being said, Belphie isn’t going to go all out like Lucifer or Satan. He plans a romantic little planetarium date, not quite unlike your usual ones, though the blankets and pillows are even nicer than normal and there’s extra dessert and your favorite food for dinner. You just think he’s doing something nice for you, likely because he’s done something not so nice that you haven’t found out about yet. As Belphie is laying there in the dark with you, he points out a new constellation - one that he commissioned and bought so it’ll be listed in actual books now. It’s a triad of stars - the two twins and then a connected third star that turns the shape into a heart - that’s you he says. The missing puzzle piece, the only person who could ever fill that void in his heart that he’s been carrying for so long. Then he’ll pull out a beautiful ring with a stone like starburst to match your constellation star and he asks you to marry him - you fate is literally written in the stars now - the two of you bound together forever.