#➵ AWOOP JUMPSCARE

[suntoru]

bro my writing when i first started: 💀👹👺🤡

[twinkpriest]

it’s always sunny x goth kids because....why not

[fatuismooches]

Speaking of crow friends (and corvids in general) they can talk! They mimic sounds way better than parrots do. So rises this funny idea for a scenario:

Let's go for a raven for this one since they sound more human-like with their mimicry.

Dottore one day gets a very startled lover interrupting his experiments, insisting that they heard something saying: "Hello? Hello?" Out their window - and it's very creepy!

And what's worse is - they hear it saying things like "I see you!" In a very sing-song voice! And it's freaking them out!

Dottore investigates of course, going into the room they last heard it in. He stood there for a couple of minutes, before he heard knocking on the nearby window, and a light voice calling out: "Hi!"

A large huddled silhouette is perched on the edge of the frosted window.

It's is a raven.

A raven who thought it was very funny watching the other human scrambling about earlier. Anyway, maybe this new human can get the food!

The raven knocks again, this time pointedly looking at the plate of cookies near the window.

The raven had been terrorising his lover for cookies.

[Extension: Ravens repeat what they hear, especially if the words have effect like: "Come here," and they mimic the voice of the person they heard it from almost perfectly. So... Segments hearing their 'lover' calling them from somewhere time to time? It's just a bird that thinks it's entertaining to watch them walk around confused.]

The first 'hello' made you pause and wonder if you just imagined it. The second 'hello' had you alert and looking around for one of your lovers only to be met with nothing. The third 'hello' had you jumped up and ready to smack some intruder over the head with a book, because no one else knew the location of your room. A few seconds of silence had you nervously inching away from the window and toward the door.

At first, you thought it could be the evolution of Foxttore learning your language and therefore carefully examined him, but much to your disappointment he remained a lazy beast that pawed at his empty food bowl and laid around in the worst places that made the segments trip. With a sigh, you briefly lower your guard and wonder if you really are too tired - but then came the eerie 'I see you' from somewhere that you could not pinpoint.

You never bolted so fast in your life.

Naturally, your husband is surprised when you all but crash into his lab and run to his side to huddle near him, mostly because this isn't you being needy for cuddles but instead, you're clinging and digging into his clothes as if something had gone terribly wrong. With some back rubbing and water from Dottore, the words come spilling out about the very real and scary voice that had tormented you for the past few minutes and the conclusion that the lab may be haunted.

As silly as your observation sounds, Dottore can't write it off especially when you're this freaked out, and also the fact he won't forgive himself if you do get hurt from him not listening to you (past incidents and all). And so the two of you walk toward the scene, of course with you firmly attached to his side and making his walking speed two times slower.

You remain by the door's entrance, carefully sending nervous looks around your room while somehow still being concerned for him.

"What if the entity gets you?!"

"I can assure you I'll be fine."

A little bit of searching (although there's really not much to go off of) has you antsy and Dottore thoughtful before the voice calls out once more, only this time the culprit is much more obvious, cawing and raising its feathers dramatically. Immediately your anxiety washes away.

"A bird friend!" You exclaim with excitement before it dies down a bit, remembering the mini panic you just went through. "A wicked bird friend... but it's cute!" Needless to say, Dottore is unwilling to sacrifice any of your treats but throws the bird some nuts and fruit at your insistence.

(Poor segments are dropping what they're doing in exchange for "your" sweet beckoning, only to end up huffing in disappointment. Omega is the first to catch on but lets the little guy continue to do its thing because he finds it amusing too.)

[brainrotroulette]

Telemachus if Herodotus and the Romans had their way about Pan's parentage:

Herodotus really should have stuck to history but I must secretly admit, imagining a much nicer origin story than what this man wrote and big brother Telemachus had me a little amused.

Kids say the darndest things, amiright? (pls don't call paw patrol, they would be besties before this godly little shit would go prancing out into the wilds never to return)

[devotioncrater]

every time cameron tries to kiss house im just like

[starii-eyed]

holy shart i made a tumblr?? first post?? anyways hii idk how to use this but uh fanart for @wonder-of-the-stars's au (is this how pinging works??) ok bye

[0crooked-arcade0]

Shit, he's become self aware on social media, scatter-

[venus-for-real]

dude zoozvie is being attacked

WHAT THE HELL

@real-zoozve WHO IS ATTACKING YOU

I LOOK AWAY FOR A FEW MINUTES AND ALL MY CHILDREN GET ATTACKED

[yourfavecharacterisqueer]

no one prepares you for the biggest jumpscare when rewatching in s1e1 of merlin that is arthur and morgana flirting. i screamed at my laptop ‘that’s your sister/brother’ and then i remembered that morgana doesn’t find out until s3e5 and arthur doesn’t find out until s3e12…

[fire-lizard-ro]

Bottom Dragon Dan Heng

Bet you didn't expect THIS, huh?

I feel like there's barely been HSR smut recently, so I did it myself. >:D))

CW: DP (technically in two holes- you'll see-), top reader, bottom character, non-human anatomy (for my dear Dan Heng), knots (Dan Heng's), fucking a hole you probably didn't expect me to say you're fucking, belly bulge and a tiiiiiny bit of cumflation~ <333 (like it's only a little bit of a bulge left over), mention of crying, hair/horn pulling, usage of the word "slut" exactly once, only a tiny mention of dirty talk (I'm now realizing I don't really do dialogue in these...)

GN reader.

Cock is interchangabe with strap and I mentioned that... And I say cum for the reader, but also mention that it can be fake cum for a strap.

You know I REALLY tried holding off so I could finish making myself write down all my Aeon stuff, but dragon Dan Heng is still very much so stuck in my mind.

So whoopsie here's yet another ramble session from Roro about nefarious things I think about this scaly bitch (affectionate).

So uh- This is written as x reader(s) because ye, but when I was having whore-knee thoughts it was more like I thought it up in a daydream of me somehow scoring Dan Heng, Blade, and Jing Yuan and watching those three have at it. hA-

A n y w a y s -

One of the only times I write top reader(s), lmfao. Since I prefer bottom reader content, but top reader is also smeggsy sometimes.

NSFW:

Okay so for this, you're gonna have to be two people sometimes, I guess foijeo- Maybe you and your bestie like sharing or something.

But like.... bottom dragon Dan Heng who gets fucked in the ass and has a cock/strap in his internal cock sheath thing. I mean- It is a slit... That just so happens to have two cocks in it... Just slide on in and make it three. This could also be only you fucking him this way while shoving a dildo/plug in his ass. But something about the idea of watching him get stretched out on two cocks that had been fucking him is hot.

Watch the way his belly bulges out from your thick cock and listen to how he sobs from the stretch he feels in both of his holes. Dan Heng would likely never admit it, but he loves it when you fuck his sheath- When you put yourself in the hole he had never considered before. It's already slick on the inside naturally to keep his cocks from chafing. And it's so tight from there being two cocks in there.

He was hesitant when you first brought it up, not having thought about it before and worrying that it would hurt or just not work out- After all, this was not a hole that was supposed to be fucked. But he was ultimately curious, as it is in his nature. At least I think. After all, he does manage the archives and seems to know a lot about various subjects.

But once he tries it? Fuck there's no going back from there. He was used to you shoving your tongue in there or even gliding fingers through the slick of his internal sheath and feeling around his cocks while they were inside... But this was a whole different ball game. His tail would be thumping against the bed while you gently finger the slit of his sheath's opening. One, two... then three and even four fingers. Just in case. You don't wanna hurt your pretty boy, after all. :((

Then you slick up the shaft of your dick/strap and ever-so-gently press the head inside along his two cocks that had popped out while you were fingering him. There's a gasp as he feels it stretch him out inside and he's panting while trying to get used to the new feeling.

But once he's adjusted and you've picked up the pace? He's letting out the prettiest choked out moans while you fold his legs up to his chest and fuck him hard, your hips slapping against his ass with every forward stroke. And he's likely whimper if you lean forward to mouth at those cute nipples of his. They look so lonely and nibble-able, you know? :((

(I am of the belief that EVERYONE deserves to have their nipples sucked. <333)

The way his tail twitches and spasms and even thrashes around from not being able to control it while he's getting fucked like a good, perfect slut- And then the way it wraps around your waist like he's trying to ground himself- Or maybe he's pulling you closer? Trying to get you deeper? God- Please tug on his tail, too. I'm not sure how well fucking his sheath from behind would work because of possible positioning of said sheath, but if you do? Please yank this man's tail to pull him back into your thrusts while you pin him down with a hand on the back of his head to shove him into the pillows. Better yet- Grip his hair, too, while you're at it. Or his horns/one of his horns. Use his horns to pull him into your hips as you make heavy thrusts into him.

And oh lord- When he cums? His knots and cocks swell which makes everything tighter and he's crying and writhing beneath you while calling out your name and pushing at your stomach because it's just too much- There's cum all over your belly and his and he looks so fucked out and his legs are shaking and his hips are jumping in little aborted thrusts to grind your cock inside him just a little more while he rides out his orgasm.

For my cock havers and my strap users (specifically those straps that you can use a pump with to pump stuff into your partner-):

I hope you can see my vision when I say he looks so pretty with cum squirting out of not only his dicks, but out of his shealth. The way his belly has a little bulge left over from how much you fucked into him- The way it squelches out from his slit, between his flagging cocks as they retreat into his internal pouch and more cum gushes out- And how he whimpers and whines and tears leak from his pretty eyes and he squirms while you push on his belly to force the cum out of his stuffed sheath.

It's just so pretty. :((

He's just so pretty. :((

Once again: I prefer top character and bottom reader stuff, but... Sometimes.... Ahaha- (If I were in that JingRenHeng poly relationship that I mentioned I was thinking of when I imagined this up, I'd love to watch those two do this to him... [screams])

I might have missed something/a few things because my mind was going wayyyyy faster than I can type (though I can type pretty fast...). So if I did and I remember later, I will put in an edit and post something to let people know it was added to.

I shall now go fucking die myself because who knew I'd be writing this and putting it where people can see it ahahahahfiosejg-

OH OH OH P.S. PLEASE TALK DIRTY TO HIM AND NIBBLE THOSE CUTE EARS OF HIS HE'LL GET SO RED THIS IS CANON TO ME.

[shadow-0-8]

bro I was scrolling through Pinterest listening to sad music and- THIS BITCH

[callmerainman]

Yesterday I decided to stick a picture next to my bed, right on my side. Of course I forgot about it at night, so when I turned around to put my phone in stand by and go to bed the screen light revealed it and I got fucking jumpscared.

[jimmerzz0905]

//beast-yeast episode 5 spoilers

the fuck is it with Devsisters and giving their ivory-themed world-ending characters the worst fucking smiles possible

[fatuismooches]

Oml I just saw your tag on the Dadtorre with identical son post (same anon as last time here! Thank you for the kind words :3) if Traveller and Paimon meet the son it's going to be so funny but confusing for both parties 😭 It's a jumpscare!

The Traveller is in Snezhnaya, exploring the place, walking through yet another quaint scenery. Then they see a glimpse of a blury blue in the distance, a shade of blue they know all too well.

"Wait, Traveller - was that...?" Paimon whispers to her companion warily. "Uh, you saw that too right? That looked like—!" She gasps, her tiny hands cupping her mouth as she frantically whispers. "Do you think he saw us?!"

The Traveller gestures for Paimon, gaze hardening. "Get behind me."

They tail the all too familiar shadow. He may be wearing a heavy cloak to stave off the frigid heart of the Tsarista, but they would recognise that hair anywhere... It's shorter than last time, but this is not the first they dealt with a segment. The Doctor is stalking the village, what could he be up to?

It's a small village, far from the capital. What if he's here to exploit the vulnerable? There's so many ill and elderly residents here, it won't take much to station a lab here in the guise of a clinic, he would have his test subjects.

They have to stop him.

They continue to follow, but slowly, doubt starts to creep in.

What is Dottore doing? He's just... he's window shopping?

Sure enough, this familiar shadow is simply strolling through the streets without a hint of hurry, out of character for a man who does not waste time. Admiring the scenery and occasionally stopping. That's when the anxiety starts to build. Is this a trap? It must be.

If it is a trap he'd laid. They will bite - only to get closer to him.

They follow until the figure is in an isolated part of the settlement. The cloaked man is looking side to side, head turning this way and that. Not the most subtle way to check for your reinforcements, but whatever. They raise their sword—

Dottore turns around, an unfamiliar gleam in his eyes. A shine that struck the Traveller as though a snake had reared its head and bit with venom to paralyse. Not one of deep seeping crimson of blood. Kind, gentle eyes - the red of a comforting hearth, the red of a sunrise.

"Ah! Perfect, there's someone else here!" 'Dottore' chuckles awkwardly. "Uh... I'm lost? Can you help me out? It looks like you know your way around here— wait, isn't that outfit a little too cold?"

What.

What is this.

Paimon yells this sentiment for them: "Huh?!"

(Dottore's son snuck out for a little outing. He inadvertently pulled the same headache of a stunt Dottore's lover had done ages ago: sneaking off when bored. Said father is tearing Snezhnaya through looking for his boy. It's only a matter of time before the Harbinger finds his son. He lacks the rigour to cover up his tracks.)

Meeting a Harbinger so quickly into their visit to Snezhnaya was not on the Traveler's agenda. Especially since they snuck into the nation without anyone knowing. But how could they see those familiar blue locks and not do anything about it? Sure, it wasn't the best idea, considering how they planned to hide out a bit more, not to mention there was still a wide gap in strength, but they couldn't pass up the opportunity. At the very least, they don't think the scientist would kill them. There seems to be a greater plan, one beyond what they know.

Of course, the Traveler's immediate thought is that the blue-haired man is up to no good. Perhaps immediately thinking the worst seemed a bit harsh, but this was the Doctor. What else would they think, especially after what happened in Sumeru? They had to be wary and cautious - there was no such thing as too much of it when dealing with him. And cautious they are, carefully stalking behind, not a noise made even in the crunching snow.

And so they cautiously watch with narrowed eyes as the "Harbinger"... casually strolls by numerous stores? Looking at outfits that certainly don't fit his style, peeking through the glass of some local restaurants. For some reason, civilians don't seem to bat much of an eye at his presence either. It's strange. Very strange. Unfortunately, the Traveler and Paimon still can't get a good look at the man's face, but they're positive it has to be Dottore. Who else has such fluffy blue hair? Are they overthinking it? Is he pretending? There are always so many questions to deal with when it comes to the Doctor.

Until they realize it's not the Doctor.

The man in front of them bears a striking resemblance to the Harbinger, but he simply couldn't be, not even a segment. A small smile that wasn't cocky, sweet eyes that could envelop another in a warm embrace if it came to that. These features cannot belong to a man such as Dottore. The laugh and concern for the blond was also something that couldn't be an act. After getting over their little surprise, they'd be an idiot not to take advantage of this outcome. Perhaps they could get some information... of course, they only end up more confused when they find out the truth.

(You, while also concerned for your son, know he's a capable boy and he'll be fine. You like to see how much Dottore secretly cares for his kid too, although you feel a bit bad for the poor Fatui agents who are currently dealing with his orders. If someone does end up hurting your son, however, well... you can be scarier than Dottore if you want to. At the end of it, Dottore ends up giving you both a scolding... but neither of you takes it seriously as you giggle with each other.)

[venbetta]

IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUUUUU.😭😭😭 I WAS HOPING SM FOR THIS TO HAPPEN, AND NOW IM PROBABLY HAPPIER THAN YOU HELP. CONGRATS

Ngl I was a lil confused why I got 100+ notifs earlier today

...also I found out the artist was following me and WAS ALSO SHOCKED...

[jonsnowunemploymentera]

It's so so disingenuous to claim that Dany should have taken the time to separate xyz privileged persons in Meereen because "not everyone sanctioned the murder of those 163 children 😞". Oh ok. So that very wealthy, very influential man did not personally give the order. Maybe he doesn't even have slaves. But riddle me this: Where did their wealth come from? What are the historical foundations of their political power? In a society that continues to practice oppression (and a society where wealth and status is defined by it), how is it that they continue to hold as much influence and social capital as the "direct evil"? None of this is happening in a vacuum. And like....this is a society where the dehumanization of slaves is systemic. It runs policy and economics. And the people in power obviously know each other and support each other (considering the fact that they can keep wealth and influence!!!). So does it matter if xzy didn't give the order? Does it matter if they were not the ones nailing those kids to the posts? What matters is that they saw oppression, did absolutely nothing in the face of it, and continued to benefit from it. They are not innocent. Evil isn't just related to the guy pulling the trigger. The devil is also the one who's standing in the back, watching, and counting his coffers. And it terrifies me to think about what some of you would be saying in the real world, in the face of oppression. "I cannot be held accountable because I wasn't the one who pulled the trigger"....but you continued to benefit from the privilege afforded to you by the oppressive system AND DID/SAID NOTHING. By turning a blind eye, you have taken the side of the oppressor. So I'm sorry sweetie but you 👏 are 👏 part 👏 of 👏 the 👏 problem 👏 big time!