#✨having a breakdown✨
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yall ever get stuck thinking youre not actually good at the only thing you care about
#✨having a breakdown✨#im gonna log off till Thursday ill see you when the new episodes drop i guess#nyxtalks#i just#here come the tears lol#yall don't need to see this#nyx be stable on main for one (1) week challenge#failed failed failed failed failed failed failed failed failed failed failed failed failed failed failed failed failed failed failed failed
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Has KnockOut ever been insecure of stretch marks given how he prides on his appearance? I’m sure Breakdown doesn’t mind them, though. Also, can Megatron feel anything with that tremendous scar on his back and how does Optimus react once he first saw it?
Knockout is definitely vain to a fault, always he was all the way back when he was still a nobel, this extends to not just his appearance but also his need to keep his snazzy clothes and armor in perfect condition, as well his bow pristine!
However, what he loves most in the world is the life he shares with Breakdown. The highs and lows they faced in life beyond the Autobot Kingdom, scars and scratches they earned along the way–all are memories of how hard they fought for their life together and how much they loved the fact that they got to fight and WIN for that love.
The marks he received in life since bonding Breakdown are met with pride! (Breakdown lets little get past him to hurt KO, that and Knockout is a mean shot with his bow, both are the other’s protectors! lol, scars received are few and far in between)
Knockout’s stretch marks from Wildbreak– his greatest gift from Breakdown, his greatest gift to the love of his life, are by far his proudest yet. They made that baby!!! And that is the greatest joy and challenge Knockout has ever faced, but the best part was that he got to face it with Breakdown.
Yes, and ofc Breakdown loves the marks. Obsessed w them even–they belong to his super strong, soft, and hot hubby
As for Megatron’s burn marks, nope he does not feel them much at all, the burns were very deep and fried a lot of his nerves. It wasn’t always that way of course, healing took. years.
Optimus has seen every single one of his scars. When asked, Megs would talk his audial off telling Op the stories of each proud mark. Some range from petty fights with his brother long ago, some from his time in the gladiator pits, others from dumb youthful decisions, he's a story book ready for Optimus to dive into, he only needs to ask.
His first reaction to seeing them was of course shock, but secondly he felt truly sick. Of course at Megs, nor the melted, glassy flash, but the fact that someone could do something like that to another person. Megatron has long since been used to that look of shock, those who have seen it rarely can school their features–he eased the situation with yet another story.
The largest scar, his burns, now that is the one that everytime he talks about it, Megs cooks up a whole new story to pair it with. Megatron’s favorites are “I feel asleep in a hot spring” or “Fireworks and High Grade don’t mix” and “You see my dear Sir Orion, there is a reason why I am not allowed in any kitchen ever again so long as I live”. Optimus doesn’t really wonder anymore. He knows all too well that some well placed humor is just a mask for the too painful of stories. He does know that he has never seen a ‘burn’ scar quite like Megatronus’
“In a great flash of light, the Allspark disappeared and Left King Ultra and Megatron gravely wounded…” so the stories go. Those in the battle rumor that Megatron made a scramble for the Allspark and the artifact lashed at the unworthy King of daring to filthy it with his hands, King Ultra being too close, sadly being burned as well in It’s rage.
Megatron has his own side of the story. Not that many beyond the few trusted of his People he’s shared it with know the truth, perhaps one day the little Knight may be ready.
#thorns and thrones au#asks#transformers#KOBD make my heart melt yet again#and Megs is cryptic as hell about that scar bc A) the truth or even a semblance of it would give him away and B) it truly is painful to tal#about and the worthy of the truth would make a low of power come crashing down#lot of**#right time and right place for that👍✨✨HES PATIENT. but for now#he gets to have so much fun freaking tf out of Op with so many WANNA KNOW HOW I GOT THESE SCARS?#kobd#tfa knockout#tfa breakdown#tfa wildbreak#tfa optimus prime#tfa megatron#tfa megop
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hi! sorry I’ve been quiet. I’m alive, and I’m also overworked and terrified. please, god please, do not let this man win presidency again.
#fay talks#i’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown which I haven’t had in quite a while#the reality of this election didn’t TRULY sink in until after I got home from work#I’ve just been crying ever since#not to mention the insanity of grad school#anyway please pray your hardest fucking prayer for the u.s. tonight#it is so horrifying to be a gay women right now and i don’t want to believe it#whatever. in the meantime i will be ✨inebriating✨ myself so that I don’t have to comprehend reality tonight#(also the latest 19 days update was lovely! too bad I’m in too sour of a mood to enjoy it)#(desecration has made good progress)
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Some Shawn doodles feat. Gus
#forest fumbles#forest draws#Shawn Spencer#burton guster#psych#would Shawn wear a sleeveless turtleneck? absolutely not#did I draw him in one anyways?#of course i did 💥💯✨💅🦅💪🍍✨💥#I’m not gonna be active for a bit so I decided to post some art before I dip lol#my mental health has kinda been spiraling to a level that im not really used to#so im gonna be taking a break from social media#AND THIS TIME ITLL ACTUALLY BE A BREAK ISFVBHUEVHFU i wont just dip for 30 hours#and come back with absolutely no progress purely because i was too bored lmao#cause if this does lead to a mental breakdown like i feel its going to i dont want that on the internet for all to see FHUDVHBVEU#cause that would be like- majorly embarrassing 🤢 huvefbhuvefbhu#ive already gone a teensy bit bananas on here i dont need ppl seeing the whole basket lmao#if u reblog pls dont make tags referring to the tags i made about my mental health#like i appreciate the sentiment 100% but idk how i feel about other ppls followings knowing im having a moderate crisis rn lmao#im not even comfortable with the entirety of my following knowing thats why i kept this all under the see all thingy#if that even makes sense#okay i need to stop adding more train of thought tags its not healthy suhfvhuefvuhe#anyways bye bestiessss 🤙
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the fuck of it all is sometimes it really does have to get worse before it gets better
#see re: my cross faded mental breakdown in April helped push me to go back to school#AND get on actual anti depressants#this isn’t to say I don’t smoke or drink or have depression but.#at least now progress is being made yk. I’m not just ✨ stuck ✨#and its all baby steps too#leah rambles
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like a magnet
#I CANT HELP THAT IM ATTRACTED TO YOU#whenever i see compass on a zosan playlist#😎😎😎😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘✨#that song is also a must have for any nami playlist#it goes both ways y´know#girl band au#this is a wip#like a breakdown of a bigger more collage like piece#expect more bc im soooooo thirsty#one piece fanart#zosan#sanzo#sanzoro#fem!zosan#fem!sanji#fem!zoro#sanji#zoro#sanji fanart#black leg sanji#zoro fanart#zoro roronoa#one piece sanji#one piece
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Black Friday week(-end) in retail is so exhausting but in the weirdest way. we were ready for the apocalypse today, A-team out and all, and it was okay? idk.
#j. talks#I was genuinely nervous before and our team had multiple breakdowns for different reasons this week but only tomorrow and then#I have a week off again ✨ as a paid treat to myself (I had to put the days somewhere but it's a nice treat)
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it's the second half of september, you know what that means...
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Tumblrs being a lil shit N won’t lemme post it but link 2 new Bojure fic is down here :3! ⬇️
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pUWzWm7nTemW0sM4HWbztYaXIIRKxtuu/view?usp=drivesdk
*BIG* credits 2 my beloved moots Maca aka @da-proti-toku-grem 4 coming up with the idea N kindly letting turn me it into whatever this is N Jay aka @j-restlessgeek 4 being my lab rat/assistant throughout the writing process N helping me with ✨le dreaded writers block✨,I lobe U both so so *SO* F4N MUCH N U two are truly some of the moots of all time 🥹🥹🫶🫶💓💓💓💓💝💝💝💝💘💘💘💘💖💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💞💞💞💞!!!!
HAPPY JURE MONTH 2 ALL N BYE BITCHES!!/affectionate
#it may have took a week N (1) near mental breakdown but alas I grind 2 make them grind on eachother-#once again TY TY TY TY 2 MY GIRLS JAY N MACA 4 HELPING CREATE THIS BEAUTIFUL MESS OF A FIC!! 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🤲🤲🤲🤲🤲🤲#kissing U both on the forehead N ruffling ur hairs N booping ur noses :333#✨Maca the writer N Nace Jordan simp ever✨#✨Jay the kitty N no.1 Jure Fangirl✨#lil puppy prince N his chaotic kitten bf#bojan cvjetićanin#jure maček#joker out#bojure#it’s Jure month N I’m going 2 make it *EVERYONE’S* problem >:3333!!
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omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee
#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time#and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again#have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind#ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her#that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right#to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel#that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week#and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes#'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like#i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying#a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again#because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it#i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao#oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour#pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA
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crying mr pengu how are you T T
#holy shit im so tired#I'm here to do my yearly check in to let everyone know I'm still alive#out here trying to find the lowest quality image of this sad cat thumbs up#im in my feels#like im going to go take a shower fully clothed kind of sad feels#im having my geto moment except i don't want to kill humans#that sounds really misleading actually if you've seen jjk#no one died#he's just the first person i thought of that had a mental breakdown in the shower#I should rephrase I'm having my late-night taxi cab through downtown with my head against the car window while the lights pass by#but like not in a good ✨ I'm discovering myself kind of way ✨#super duper big mwah#lovely anon#anon ask
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Me: wonders why I'm so tired
Also me: literally forgot I cried so much today
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welp, the thing i have been dreading for literal years is happening tomorrow and i am. Unhappy, but thankfully calm, for the moment.
#i think i’m just so used to being stressed all the time at this point that the new stress isn’t as noticeable#but my focus was CLEARLY shot so that killed schoolwork a few hours early#the combo of this Thing happening tomorrow and finding out i’ve had my first (known) ✨COVID exposure✨ is simply incredible#my brain is attempting to fold itself up a million times smaller and smaller until it disappears#like. for the record.#i do not believe i have COVID. i think i’m fine there#(but gonna test tomorrow just to be sure)#and the Bad Thing is ENTIRELY routine and normal and fine and i LITERALLY planned it myself#but it’s just specifically REALLY triggering for me for reasons that even i don’t understand#so i just know it’s gonna be a mess#i will probably cry and hyperventilate and possibly have a breakdown for a few hours#but i DON’T think i’m gonna go into a months-long and possibly unrecoverable depressive episode#which is what i USED to think was gonna happen when i did this#so uh? improvement??#it will be fine#but also. Why
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no one asked, but here’s what i think about the finale. it will probably be the end of school year and whatever’s going down will probably happen during the dance. lila will probably steal the butterfly miraculous and become the new super villain. i have a feeling adrien and marinette won’t be together, either because they have a fallout or because adrien goes away. gabriel either he goes away too or, you know, actually dies.
#miraculous ladybug#ml season 5#ml conformation#ml re-creation#ml spoilers#ml leaks#ml leak free#mlb#MIND YOU I HAVEN’T SEEN THE LEAKS#I’VE SUCESSFULLY RAN AWAY FROM THE BIBLE#SO IF THIS IS WAY OFF#FEEL FREE TO NOT TELL ME#JUST LET ME MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF#i also think adrien might either have a breakdown or just become ✨slightly evil✨
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me, a humble stateside fauxstralian, watching the uswnt and the matildas both lose their second matches:
#I’m going through it lads it’s ✨having a mental breakdown over sports while at work✨ hours#uswnt#matildas#auswnt#caitpost#we’re done with optimism it’s just hating vlatko time#wwc23
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Hello, my belovedest petals 🌸
It’s been,,, 365 days since I started posting on here 🎀 (the first post made on this blog, for reference!), and I just wanted to thank all of you for being here, from the bottom of my heart ♡
To celebrate, I’ve changed my blog theme entirely (both on mobile n desktop) >.<! I wanted to do something ~unusual~ that is not out of my reach and capabilities, so I thought maybe this would be a good idea... I mean, everyone likes to look at pretty things, right? So I hope you guys can look at all the pretty gfx I made and feel happy in some way 🦋✨🌆! It took me whole 4 days and probably 40+ hours of brainstorming and working on everything, so I really hope my hardwork paid off! 💖💜
Tumblr has never been an easy place for me to be on as I struggle with interactions, building connections, and as a result get lonely very easily. More than often, I’ve felt like an outsider on my own blog, because of how unwelcomed I had felt in a space that is created by me. But, I’m trying to work on those things slowly, especially on how to be rational with my own feelings, and not listening to my brain whenever it’s being unnecessarily mean. About interactions though, it’ll probably take me a long time to actually show improvements, but I promise I’m trying my best always ^^! I appreciate everyone who has ever made an effort to interact with me, I see you and I appreciate you lots, even if it doesn’t feel that way 🫂
That got a bit heavy, no? Don’t mind it, please :( those who have seen me for long enough probably know that I’m kind of like this, but still ╥ ╥
Lastly, I wanted to say thank you so much, once again! I hope my presence here can be a positive one for me and you all as long as I’m here; let’s be happy in this silly little corner of the internet ♡
much love,
aleyna 💌
#✦🎖️✦ milestones!#happy 1st anniversary to euphor1a 🌸💕✨#it’s been a less bumpy ride than my previous blogs#still pretty bumpy but hey i’ll take this over my previous experiences without any complaints#so happy to be here and to be able to see this day with so many people who chose to stick around for one reason or another 🤎#aaaaand a very special shout-out to those who have been with me since cupidchois & lushtans ♥︎#me thinks it’s crazy that some people are still here even after watching me have like a million breakdowns over a variety of things#sorry to anyone who’s new here you actually signed up for a low-key insane person writing stuff once in a while#but always losing her mind over someone or something aksgsjks#🎉 – tumbversary!#i wanted to post this like 12 hours ago but i wasn’t done with all the work yet#i hope everything looks okay.... tbh i’m pretty disappointed bc it doesn’t look the way i thought it would :(#but too bad ig. i won’t be changing my theme until next year again. lol
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