#⊹ “ signal flare ” ⇁ promo ⊹

[temporalhaze]

(( tag dump

[pcwpolwrestling]

11/30-PCW Extreme Political TV

Last Week on PCW Extreme Political TV: -MATCH #1 (joined in progress): Dave McCormick (PA-Amer Patriots) defeated Bob Casey (PA-Prog Alliance) -Incoming CEO of PCW Donald Trump enters the arena accompanied by Elon Musk, Robert F. Kennedy, Tulsi Gabbard, J.D. Vance, and Mike Johnson. -A quick look-in at The View where Sunny Hostin has to read a ‘legal note.’ -State of California Commercial -A young couple virtue signals about paying their bills on time. -MATCH #2: The SEC Squad defeated The Buffet Club -MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski explain why they visited with Donald Trump and gets jumped by Keith Olbermann and Rosie O’Donnell -Berkeley, California Professor McCarthy then shows up waving his ‘good book’ and stating anyone who doesn’t confirm to the orthodoxy must be shouted down. -Virtue signaling man not feeling well but still going to work anyways. -PSA for Late Night talk show hosts -American Patriot Senators Lisa Murkowski (Alaska), Susan Collins (Maine), John Curtis (Utah), and McConnell (Kentucky) attack and throw Matt Gaetz (Florida) off the Eagle’s Nest to the arena floor. Pam Bondi then runs in and takes them out with steel-folding chair shots. -More virtue signaling -New Bud Light commercial -PCW Champion Charlie Blackwell cuts a promo over his win against Kevin Daniels. He’s then attacked by Neal Conn and Hallie Burton. -Epilogue- Kamala Harris has the hat out looking for donations to cover the 20 million debt she left behind after her campaign.

Political Championship Wrestling Extreme Political TV PCW Headquarters Somewhere in the Heartland Saturday November 30th, 2024

Announcers: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave AGE: 50 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 195 HOME: Philadelphia, PA HAIR: Brown / STYLE: Like Ronnie Dunn / FACE: Goatee DRESS: Brown suit without tie

Colleen Crowder ‘Low-Level New York Times Reporter Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ AGE: 38 / HT: 5’ 5” WT: 142 HOME: New York City, NY HAIR: Black / STYLE: Curly / FACE: Narrow face with rounded jaw, turned-up nose, faint freckles, and thin lips. Bulging blue eyes, thin eyebrows. DRESS: Black pants suit

PCW Champion: Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland) Since 2/10/2024 Contenders: ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels (Progressive Alliance) Kirk Walstreit (American Patriots) Mike the Mechanic (Main Street USA)

PCW Women’s Champion: Catherine Cline (Independent) Since 9/21/2024 Contenders: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) Laura Brobert (American Patriots) ‘American Girl’ Sarah Mae Smith (Main Street USA)

PCW Tag Team Champions: Starz N. Stripes and ‘The One-Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism- Since 3/3/2024 (American Patriots) Contenders: The Deplorables: Ray McAvay/’Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan (American Heartland Coalition) The Green World Order: GreenPete/’Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee (Progressive Alliance) The Sports Entertainment Corporation: Gator Bates/The Alabama Kid Bi-Partisan Dream Team: Blue Dog D/RINO Main Street USA: Ken Worth-American Trucker/Farmer John Deer Wall Street World: Kirk Walstreit/P.M.C. Banks

Opening: The studio lights flare to life, illuminating Johnny Suave’s perfectly coiffed hair as he stands before a wall emblazoned with the PCW logo. His trademark smirk plays at the corners of his mouth as he adjusts his tie, preparing to deliver the news that will set the wrestling world ablaze.

Johnny Suave: Ladies and gentlemen, happy Thanksgiving!  Welcome to our special two-hour Thanksgiving special.  Tonight, we’ve got a feast of political pandemonium that’ll make your family dinner look like a tea party!

He pauses, savoring the moment. In his mind, he can already hear the roar of the crowd, the chants echoing through the arena. This is what he lives for.

Johnny Suave: We’re serving up all three PCW CEO matches featuring our new big cheese, the new CEO of PCW, Donald Trump! And let me tell you, folks, this story’s got more twists than a pretzel factory!  We’ve got Trump’s 2016 win over Hillary Clinton.  We’ve got Trump’s loss by proxy to Joe Biden in 2020.  And then we’ve got Trump going over Kamala Harris in 2024.

Suave leans in conspiratorially, his voice dropping to a stage whisper.

Johnny Suave: Remember 2016? No one thought Donald Trump had a chance in hell to defeat Hillary Clinton. When Trump clotheslined Clinton right out of the Oval Office? Nobody saw that coming! It was like Stone Chism pulling off an Anti-Hollywood Blockbuster on the entire Democratic party!”

He straightens up, gesturing grandly.

Johnny Suave: Well, buckle up, buttercup, ’cause we’re taking you back to where it all began. PCW Extreme Election Night 2016… Donald Trump versus Hillary Clinton.

***

The 2016 Battle for PCW CEO-Hillary Clinton (Progressive Alliance) vs. Donald Trump (American Patriots)Back to Suave and Colleen at the broadcast desk with the crowd buzzing in anticipation for the PCW CEO showdown that’s just mere moments away.

Johnny Suave: Johnny Suave back with the low-level reporter trying to make a name for herself at the New York Times Colleen Crowder…

Colleen Crowder: Do you have to say it like that?

Johnny Suave: …and we are just about ready for the big match to determine who will become the next PCW CEO.

Both Clinton and Trump supporters rise to their feet, holding up their pro-Clinton and pro-Trump signs and shouting dueling chants of ‘I’M WITH HER!’ and ‘TRUMP…TRUMP…TRUMP!’ back and forth at each other.

Johnny Suave (talking louder): Joining us now is Five Thirty Eight’s Nate Silver.  Silver, of course, boldly predicted four years ago at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 that Triple R would win the PCW Title and Barack Obama would win a second four year run as PCW CEO.

The camera pans to the right and adds Silver to the picture.

Johnny Suave: Nate, thanks for joining us.

Nate Silver: My pleasure, Johnny.

Johnny Suave: Your insight on what you think will happen tonight.

Nate Silver: Well Johnny.  As of right now, I believe Hillary Clinton has a 70% chance of winning this match.  I think it’ll be close.  But I think the distinct trend is towards Hillary right now.

Colleen Crowder: Nate, I think you’re being too cautious.  The New York Times believes that Hillary Clinton’s chances of becoming the first ever woman to become PCW CEO is around 85%.  There’s simply no way that Trump will win this match tonight.

Nate Silver: I wouldn’t go that far Colleen.  Yes, I believe Hillary Clinton is the clear favorite here tonight. But, I still maintain that the match will be closer than most think it will.  There’s still a path for a possible Trump victory.  For starters, Clinton doesn’t have the solid advantage that Barack Obama had against Mitt Romney four years ago.

Colleen Crowder: Yeah but that’s not the narrative we’re running with.  Hillary Clinton will win this match tonight because Trump is not qualified to be PCW CEO.

Johnny Suave: You know Colleen, narrative-driven news is to journalism what World Wrestling Entertainment is to the sport of wrestling.

Once she comprehends what Suave has just said to her, Colleen glares at him and her eyes shoot daggers through Suave.  She grits her teeth.

Colleen Crowder (slowly): Eighty…five…percent…

Johnny Suave: We’d better get to the ring.  Kimber Marshall, take it away!

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen.  This next match will determine who will become the next CEO of Political Championship Wrestling!

“I’M WITH HER!…I’M WITH HER!”

“TRUMP!  TRUMP!  TRUMP!”

Kimber Marshall: Introducing first…

The lights cut out and music starts…

DUH.

DUH.

DUH.

DUH-DUH-DUHHHH

DUH-DUH-DUHHHHH.

Dressed in all black complete with a flowing black cape, Donald Trump and his manager Kellyanne Conway walk out on stage to a big ovation from the American Patriots.  Some of the more official types of the American Patriots…ie…John McCain, Susan Collins, and Rick Perry, who sit down front close to ringside, don’t seem overly enthusiastic with their support.

Back on stage, the leader of the American Patriots Reince Priebus filters in behind along with PCW Executive Committee member Paul Ryan.

Johnny Suave: Trump looks particularly sinister tonight!

Colleen Crowder: It’s hideous Johnny.  Simply hideous.  We really need Hillary to win.

Conway leads the way as Trump, black robe ruffling behind him as he strides, makes his way down the steps from the stage and heads toward the ring.

Kimber Marshall: Residing in the Trump Tower in the great city of New York, New York!  He promises to…

The Trump supporters shout out: “MAKE PCW GREAT AGAIN!”

Kimber Marshall: Managed tonight by Kellyanne Conway, accompanied by his Second in Command Mike Pence, and representing the American Patriots!  LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!  DONALD J. TRUMP!

Again, the Trump Supporters let loose with thunderous roar that shakes the building.  Trump nods and acknowledges the fans.

Johnny Suave: Donald Trump climbs into the ring.  Can be make history of his own here tonight by becoming the next PCW CEO?

Colleen Crowder: NO!  I mean, David Brooks from the New York Times is a conservative and even he doesn’t think Donald Trump should be PCW CEO.

Johnny Suave: David Brooks is conservative for the New York Times, yes.

The supporters “TRUMP!  TRUMP! TRUMP!” chant merges with the Imperial March and becomes:

“TRUMP.

TRUMP.

TRUMP.

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP”

Trump holds the ring ropes open for Kellyanne Conway to slip through.  Pence, Priebus and Ryan join them.

Kimber Marshall: And his opponent.

Imperial March- off…

♫ What happened at the New Wil’ins?  Bitch, I’m back, by popular demand ♫

…Beyonce’s ‘Formation’- on.  The house lights cut out and then start flashing to the beat causing the Progressive Alliance fans to leap out of their seats.

Quick cut to the upper section where Amy Schumer and Chelsea Handler are dancing on their chairs, Miley Cyrus is on the table twerking, and Madonna…well, we don’t really want to know what she’s doing right now.

Kimber Marshall (loudly over the blaring music): Managed by Robby Mook and accompanied by her Second in Command Tim Kaine,  Debbie Wasserman-Shultz, and her husband…FORMER PCW CEO William Jefferson Clinton!

Beyonce comes out on stage lip-synching to her song.  She and Jay-Z lead the parade to the ring.  Next out, Mook, Wasserman-Shultz, and Bill Clinton.

Kimber Marshall: From Chappaqua, New York.  Representing the Progressive Alliance!

Next out, Bill and Hillary’s daughter Chelsea Clinton.

Kimber Marshall: And vying to make history by becoming the first ever woman to become CEO of PCW!

Finally, Hillary Clinton walks out wearing a white pants suit.

Kimber Marshall: PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR…HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON!

The A-List celebrities in the top section of Hack’s stand up and shout.  On the floor, the Progressive Alliance section is simply rocking.  Hillary Clinton signs bobbing up and down, moving left to right as Beyonce continues to lip synch her song and dance down the aisle.

Reaching the ring, Hillary climbs up the steps first and ducks into the ring, followed by her husband and daughter.

Johnny Suave: Oh wow!  Listen to that ovation for Hillary Clinton.  Both sides are geared up for what promises to be an incredible match.

Colleen Crowder: Again Johnny.  According to the New York Times calculations, it’s going to be an early night, it’s going to be a quick match, because Donald Trump has no chance to defeat Hillary Clinton.

Johnny Suave: Nate?

Nate Silver: The odds are definitely in Ms. Clinton’s favor but I won’t go that far to say that he has no chance.

Johnny Suave: Thanks for your insight.  Nate Silver, everyone.  Let’s take it back to the ring and the referee in charge of this match- Corrina Romanov.

The name Romanov causes Colleen to cock her head quizzically to the side.

Romanov enters the ring wearing the appropriate white and black striped referee’s shirt and black pants.  A former wrestler of her own right, she gets a healthy round of applause from the patrons of Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon.

Colleen Crowder: Hold on…isn’t she like- Russian?

Romanov goes over to Trump and does the usual pre-match check.

Johnny Suave: She is.  So what?

Then Romanov walks over to Clinton’s corner and does the same.

Colleen Crowder: Nothing.  It’s just…strange…that PCW would assign a Russian referee for this match.

Johnny Suave: Nah, you’re overthinking this.  Hold on to your hats, ladies and gentlemen.  We are just about ready to go.

Satisfied, Romanov turns to the bell table and calls for the bell.

Johnny Suave: And here we go!

“I’M WITH HER! I’M WITH HER!…” 

Johnny Suave: LISTEN TO THE DUELLING CHANTS!

“TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!…”

Johnny Suave: THE NOISE IS JUST DEAFENING IN HERE!

Both Trump and Clinton cautiously walk forward from their respective corners and circle each other in the middle of the ring.

Then out of nowhere, Clinton drives a knee to the balls.  Trump crumples over.  And the Progressive Alliance section goes nuts.

Johnny Suave: CLINTON DRAWS FIRST BLOOD!

Clinton whips Trump into her corner where he’s greeted with a few forearm shots from her husband Bill.  He lays in more big forearms on Trump.  Hillary follows up with some knife-edge chops.  Trump then whips Clinton across the ring into the opposite corner.

Johnny Suave: Trump sends Clinton for the ride…

Trump sets up for a backdrop but Clinton flips over him and then delivers a punt kick to the jewels.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Dropping to his knees, Trump’s face scrunches in pain.  Clinton moves behind him.  Basement dropkick to the back sends Trump down face first to the mat.  She rolls him over for a cover.

One.

Tw-

Johnny Suave: Easy kick out for Donald Trump.

Debbie Wasserman-Shultz shouts at the referee and then slams her hand down on the mat in the same rapid-fire fashion she’d done when Hillary defeated Bernie Sanders in Philadelphia.

Colleen Crowder: That was a slow count.

Johnny Suave: Any count is slow compared to what Wasserman-Shultz did to Sanders.

Trump fights back to his feet and tries to stop the momentum.  But Clinton scratches his eyes and then hits a knee to the gut.  Russian Leg Sweep follows and Trump is right back on the ground.  Clinton again makes the cover but Trump out of nowhere pushes her off and then rolls her up.

Johnny Suave: TRUMP REVERSES.  COVER!

The American Patriots rise up in anticipation.

One

Two.

Johnny Suave: NO!  HILLARY GRABBED THE BOTTOM ROPE!

Romanov calls for a break.  While she tries to get Hillary to let go of the bottom rope, Bill Clinton sneaks in and pokes Trump in the eye.  He recoils back and covers his eye.

Johnny Suave: She’s not letting go of the rope.  WHAT?

What?  Suave does a doubletake when Captain America…yes…Captain America runs down and slides into the ring.

Johnny Suave: What the hell is this?

Colleen Crowder: It’s Captain America.

Johnny Suave: I know it’s Captain America.  Why is Captain America in the ring?

Trump staggers back.  Captain America takes his shield and then blasts him in the back of the head with it.

Johnny Suave: Oh…that’s why.

Captain America stares at the downed Trump, who’s holding his head from the shield shot.  He then pulls off his mask.

Colleen Crowder: Hey!  That’s Chris Evans from the Avengers movie!

Johnny Suave: Where is the referee?

Referee Corrina Romanov is in deep conversation with ABC’s Martha Raddatz at the edge of the ring.

Johnny Suave: MARTHA RADDATZ IS AT RINGSIDE?  WHAT IS SHE DOING?

Suave sees Evans pick up the shield.

Johnny Suave: What is he doing?

Evans places the Captain America shield in Trump’s groin area.  Then Iron Man jumps into the ring carrying a bowling ball bag.

Johnny Suave: WHAT IS IRON MAN DOING HERE?

Iron Man (okay… it’s really Robert Downey, Jr. playing Iron Man) takes the bowling ball bag, lifts it in the air, and slams it into the shield.

*CLANK*

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Crowd: Oooooooooohhhhh!

Trump rolls back and forth in excruciating pain.

Johnny Suave: KELLYANNE CONWAY IS ON THE RING APRON SCREAMING AT CORRINA ROMANOV!

Finally, Conway gets Romanov’s attention and the referee refocuses her attention back to the match and sees Evans and Downey in the ring.  She immediately chases both Hollywood stars from the ring.  Which, of course, allows Hillary to indulge in a little blatant choking while the referee continues to be distracted.

Colleen Crowder: I’ve changed my mind.  I now believe that Hillary Clinton has a 90% chance of winning.  She’s totally dominating him.

Clinton uses the boots to deliver a shot to the gut and another.   Trump finally trips Clinton up and sends her to the mat.

Johnny Suave: Big boot by Trump knocks Clinton off her feet.  But there’s a lot of worried faces at ringside.

Quick cut to the American Patriots section.  Reince Priebus brings a hand to his chin.  Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell both watch the action with extremely concerned expressions on their face.

Back to the ring where Clinton has gone over and talks with Robby Mook.

Johnny Suave: Bad idea.  She can’t give Trump time to recover like that.

Trump pulls himself back up again.  He goes right over to Hillary and they trade forearm strikes.  Trump whips her into the corner and then catches Clinton on the rebound with a Bulldog.

Clinton tries to whip Trump to her corner but Trump blocks, lifts Hillary up, bringing her legs off the ground, and falls backward to the mat sending her back-first to the mat.

Johnny Suave: SIDEWALK SLAM BY TRUMP.  HE COVERS.

One.

Two.

Johnny Suave: WHAT THE HELL IS CNN’S ANDERSON COOPER DOING IN THE RING?

Just as Corrina Romanov starts to lower her hand down for three, Anderson Cooper bolts into the ring out of the blue and pushes Trump off of Clinton.

Johnny Suave: COOPER MAKES THE SAVE!

Colleen Crowder: Maybe we should reduce the chances of Hillary winning back to 85%.

While Hillary scoots back to her corner, Trump gets into Romanov’s face and argues about the count.   He doesn’t see Bill Clinton sneaking up from behind.  Bill tries to whip Trump into Hillary’s corner.  Trump reverses and goes for a big boot to the face.  But Bill ducks, boots Trump in the gut, and then hits a spinning neckbreaker.

Johnny Suave: Bill Clinton fires up the crowd and now he’s going for scoop slam!

Clinton goes to lift Trump up but he doesn’t see trouble brewing behind him.  Two women from his past.

Johnny Suave: THAT’S KATHLEEN WILLEY AND PAULA JONES!  TWO WOMEN WITH HUGE ISSUES WITH BOTH BILL AND HILLARY CLINTON!

Colleen Crowder: What are they doing in the ring?

At once, the crowd noise jumps dramatically which causes Bill to wonder what’s going on.  Finally, his innate curiosity wins out so he turns around and gets an unpleasant surprise.  His eyes widen and the crowd goes wild.

Johnny Suave: Nowhere to run!  Nowhere to hide!

Colleen Crowder: That’s not fair!  They’re interfering in the match!

Johnny Suave: Here we go!

Willey and Jones take Bill by each arm and fling him into the corner turnbuckle.  Bill ‘stumbles’ and falls forward head first into the turnbuckle.  He flips up and over the turnbuckle, tries to snag the top rope, misses, and tumbles down to the floor.

Johnny Suave: RIC FLAIR FLIP!

On the floor, Bill then gets back on his feet…takes two steps…stops…and then flops face first back to the floor.

Johnny Suave: RIC FLAIR FLOP!

Back in the ring, Hillary comes off the ropes and leaps onto Trump’s back.

Johnny Suave: SLEEPER HOLD!

Colleen Crowder: YES!  COME ON HILLARY!

Trump spins to try and dislodge Hillary from his back.  Unfortunately, he loses his balance and ends up on the mat.  Hillary wastes no time in making the cover.

One.

Two.

Johnny Suave: Trump kicks out.  He’s trying to regain his bearings and…why is the referee talking to the Clinton corner again?

This time, Romanov is having a heated conversation with Hillary’s manager Robby Mook and MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow.  While they’re distracting the referee, Chelsea Clinton slides a steel chain over to her mother who quickly wraps it around Trump’s neck.

Johnny Suave: AND NOW SHE’S GOT THAT STEEL CHAIN AROUND HIS NECK!

Colleen Crowder: Sleeper hold.

Trump’s face turns bright red as the chain is wrapped tightly and cutting off his oxygen.

Johnny Suave: BULL-*BLEEP*!  THAT’S A BLATANT CHOKE!  SHE’S TRYING TO CHOKE DONALD TRUMP OUT!

While Trump desperately tries to loosen the chain around his neck, yet another person races down the aisle towards the ring.

Johnny Suave: WAIT A MINUTE?  THAT’S FOX NEWS’S CHRIS WALLACE!

Wallace jumps up on the ring apron, grabs Romanov, and spins her around.  He points at Hillary who’s still trying strangle Trump with a steel chain.

Colleen Crowder: What is he doing?  Chris Wallace has no business butting his head into this match.

Johnny Suave: And CNN’s Anderson Cooper and ABC’s Martha Raddatz didn’t do the exact same thing?

Colleen Crowder: That’s different.  Everyone knows Fox News is biased towards the American Patriots!

Romanov immediately acts.  She pushes Clinton back, breaking the choke hold.  Then Romanov literally rips the chain out of Hillary’s hands and tosses it out of the ring.

Colleen Crowder: The Russian referee is exerting too much influence on this match which means Vladimir Putin is trying to affect the results!

Johnny Suave: Um…Corrina Romanov just enforced the rules because, newsflash, even PCW has rules.

Colleen Crowder: But Vladimir Putin-

Johnny Suave: Is this another narrative or…

There’s a collective gasp inside Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Colleen Crowder: What.

Colleen turns her attention back to the ring and immediately shoots up from her chair in full righteous indignation mode.

Colleen Crowder: THAT’S NOT ACCEPTABLE!

Johnny Suave: TESTICULAR CLAW!  TRUMP IS USING THE TESTICULAR CLAW!

The reaction is instantaneous and the fun really begins.  An enraged Colleen Crowder literally jumps up on the broadcast table and points at Trump.

Colleen Crowder: DISQUALIFY HIM!  DISQUALIFY HIM!

The Clinton team are stunned.  Without hesitation, they all charge the ring.

The Progressive Alliance are stunned.  Disgusted.  Repulsed.  Suddenly, the likes of Chuck Schumer, Elizabeth Warren, and Nancy Pelosi charge the ring.

The media are stunned.  Revolted.  Aggrieved.   Don Lemon of CNN, the Washington Post’s Eugene Robinson and Dana Milbank, and the New York Times’s David Brooks and Paul Krugman pile into the ring.

Colleen Crowder: HE SHOULD BE DISQUALIFIED!

Even some members of the American Patriots are stunned.  Appalled.  Queasy.  John McCain, Lindsey Graham, former Jeb Bush, and Mitt Romney charge the ring and a huge scrum explodes.

Johnny Suave: IT’S HIT THE FAN NOW!

Trump finds himself swallowed up by a mass of humanity as members of each group literally throw each other out of the way to get to him.

Johnny Suave: This is just a mob scene!

Colleen Crowder: WHY HASN’T THE REFEREE DISQUALIFIED HIM?

Johnny Suave (sarcastically): Maybe Vladimir Putin told her not to.

Colleen Crowder: SEE!  I TOLD YOU!

Johnny Suave: Trump is getting no help from the American Patriots either!

Cut to Paul Ryan.  He’s whistling while he ever so subtly tries to inch away from the ring, hoping that no one can see him subtly trying to inch away from the ring.   Mitch McConnell?  He’s gone from ringside and nowhere to be found.

The rest of the establishment?  Sitting in their seats reading the Wall Street Journal or on their phones making plans for their golf getaway.

♫ Do you hear the people sing, singing a song of angry men…♫

Quick cut to the Les Miserables section.  What had been a full section of people is now half empty.

Johnny Suave: WAIT A MINUTE!

‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan, ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay, and Charlie Blackwell stream to the ring followed by forty other people sitting in their section.

Johnny Suave: It’s the LES MISERABLES!

Colleen Crowder: I’m confused Are they coming to help Clinton?

Bryan hops up on the ring apron.  He drapes Dana Milbank’s neck over the top rope and drops to the floor causing the Washington Post columnist to whiplash off the ropes and onto his back.

Johnny Suave:  BRYAN TOSSES MILBANK OUT!

Bert the Janitor tosses McAvay a Big Bertha Driver.

Johnny Suave: MCAVAY HAS THE BIG BERTHA!

*THWACK*

Johnny Suave: DOWN GOES CHUCK SCHUMER!

*THWACK^

Johnny Suave: DOWN GOES LINDSEY GRAHAM!

Mitt Romney sees McAvay using the driver to pole axe his way through the crowd.  He wisely uses discretion and decides to slip out of the ring.

Johnny Suave: AND HERE COMES CHARLIE BLACKWELL!

Blackwell jumps into the ring wielding a steel folding chair. and starts taking people out left and right.

*CLANG*

Johnny Suave: BLACKWELL NAILS PAUL KRUGMAN WITH THE CHAIR!

Blackwell turns and swings the chair again.

*CLANG*

Johnny Suave: CNN’s DON LEMON GOES DOWN!

*CLANG*

Johnny Suave: HE GOT JEB BUSH TOO!

Colleen Crowder: WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

Johnny Suave: THEY’RE CLEANING HOUSE!

The rest of the Les Miserables climb through the ropes and suddenly there’s a lot of people in close quarters.

Colleen Crowder: DEPLORABLE!

The American Patriots, Progressive Alliance, and media contingent still in the ring decide to hastily exit stage right leaving just Trump, Hillary, McAvay, Blackwell, Bryan, and the forty-odd Les Miserables inside.

Colleen Crowder: THESE PEOPLE ARE DEPLORABLE!  WHAT ARE ALL THESE DEPLORABLE PEOPLE DOING IN THE RING?

Johnny Suave: Actually, they’re Les Miserables.

Colleen Crowder: AND WHY HASN’T THE REFEREE DISQUALIFIED TRUMP FOR THIS BLATANT OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE? THERE IS NO WAY THIS MATCH-

Blackwell and McAvay re-station themselves outside the ring and the Les Miserables surrounding the squared circle.  The ring steadily clears and when it does, leaving just Trump and Hillary inside, there’s an unpleasant realization for one side.

Johnny Suave: FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK!

Crowder pulls at her hair.

Colleen Crowder: NOOOOOOOOOO!

In the midst of the chaos caused when the Les Miserables invaded the ring, Trump took one of Hillary’s legs, turned it 90 degrees, grabbed her other leg and crossed it with the other.  Then he put one foot in between, the other on the other leg, and bridged over to lock in the figure-four.

To make matters worse, Trump had her smack dab in the middle of the ring- a long, long way from help.

Johnny Suave: HOW ARE HER CHANCES LOOKING NOW?

Colleen remains defiant.

Colleen Crowder: Sixty-five percent, Johnny.  I’m still quite confident Hillary will win if the Russian referee would actually DO HER JOB!

The Progressive Alliance contingent charge forward but the Les Miserables protecting the ring stop them in their tracks.

Colleen Crowder: Okay…maybe fifty-five percent- COME ON!

Clinton closes her eyes and sits up.  She takes a couple swipes at Trump and then falls backwards.

Johnny Suave: Is Hillary going to tap out?

Colleen Crowder: NEVER!

Hillary reaches for the ropes but she’s too far away.

Johnny Suave: What do you say now?

Colleen Crowder: Fifty-fifty.

As the pain registers all over Clinton’s face, for the first time a realization comes over the folks sitting in the Progressive Alliance section that she could lose this.

Johnny Suave: Are you sure about that?

Colleen Crowder: (whispers incoherently)

Johnny Suave: Didn’t hear you.

Colleen Crowder: I SAID SIXTY PERCENT FOR TRUMP!  JESUS, HE COULD WIN THIS THING!

The camera pans through the Progressive Alliance section of the bar.  Jaws dropped.  Shocked expressions.  Hands on cheeks.

Johnny Suave: Do I hear seventy percent…seventy-five percent?  Going once.  Going twice.  Going-

Colleen Crowder: SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT FOR TRUMP.  (shouts to no one in particular)  COME ON!  ANYONE?  DO SOMETHING?

Over the loudspeaker, the opening notes to the Fleetwood Mac classic “Don’t Stop” began to play.

Johnny Suave: Wait a minute! I know that song.

A man dressed in a flannel shirt, holding a mocha in one hand and a Singapore cane in the other, steps out of the shadows on the second level of the bar.

Johnny Suave: And I know that guy!  HE’S BACK!

The crowd merrily sings along to the Fleetwood Mac song as the man dressed in flannel started towards the stage.

Colleen Crowder: Hold on.  Is that who I think it is?

Johnny Suave:  It is.

As the sing along continues, the man holds up his mocha, contained inside an environmentally friendly biodegradable cup of course, and chugs it down.

Johnny Suave: IT’S THE TREE HUGGIN’, MOCHA CHUGGIN,’ TOBACCO COMPANY BUGGIN,’ INSANE SINGAPORE CANE SWINGING ALPHA MALE AND EXTREME ENVIRONMENTAL HARDCORE ICON- AL GORE!

Colleen Crowder: YES!

Gore crushes the paper cup on his forehead in an alpha manly fashion.  Gore then spews the mocha out of his mouth like a geyser going off and sprays several tables in close proximity.

Colleen Crowder: Look at the expression on the Trump Team’s faces!

The camera cuts over to Kellyanne Conway and Mike Pence.  They’re not paying any attention.

Johnny Suave: Um…they’re not paying attention.

Colleen Crowder: Well…THEY SHOULD BE!

Gore moves up to the steps leading down and turns around to face the Progressive Alliance section.  He pulls out another cup of mocha and holds it high in the air.  Again, Gore chugs down the mocha, crushes the container against his forehead, and spits the mocha onto several tables.

Colleen Crowder: …if he ever gets to the ring.

Back in the ring, Referee Corrina Romanov maneuvers around, watching for any sign of a tap out.  Mook, Kaine, Bill Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, and Wasserman-Shultz, blocked from the ring by the Les Miserables watch helplessly.  Hillary falls back again and her strength wanes.

Johnny Suave: Trump is THIS close to winning!

Colleen Crowder: Son of a bitch.  Ninety percent chance for Trump to win.

Colleen shouts up at Gore.

Colleen Crowder: HURRY UP!

Gore makes it downstairs.  He stops and pulls out another cup of mocha.

Colleen Crowder: SON OF A BITCH!  AL, WOULD YOU GET TO THE RING ALREADY?

Johnny Suave: HILLARY’S RUNNING OUT OF TIME!

Again, Gore chugs down the mocha, crushes the container against his forehead…

Colleen Crowder (lamenting): He’s not going to get to the ring in time, is he?

Johnny Suave: Nope.

…and spits the mocha towards the ring just as Hillary slaps her hand on the mat.

Johnny Suave: SHE TAPPED OUT!  THAT’S IT!

Colleen Crowder: NOOOOOOOO!

Romanov calls for the bell.

Johnny Suave: TRUMP WINS!  TRUMP WINS!

Colleen Crowder: Oh…my…God.

Johnny Suave: The next CEO of PCW is Donald J. Trump!

The camera cuts to outside the ring.  Now that Trump’s won and it’s ‘safe,’ Paul Ryan is slowly edging his way back towards the action.

Johnny Suave: And the conservative chickens have come home to roost!

Mitch McConnell races by Ryan, actually he knocks Ryan out of his way, cheering and pumping his fist in the air.  However, others sitting with the rest of the American Patriot supporters aren’t so sure about what just took place.

The Les Miserables at ringside have no inhibition about celebrating.  Blackwell, Bryan, and McAvay find themselves in the midst of a big time party.

Panning back to the Progressive Alliance section- soul-crushing sadness among Hillary’s supporters is the prevalent feeling.

The majority of the people on hand begin to sing: “Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye” and wave goodbye to the Hollywood celebs who said they would leave the country if Trump won.

Johnny Suave: After everything that’s happened over the past few months and with the entire Washington D.C. beltway establishment lined up against him- the Republican establishment, the Democrat establishment, the militantly left wing Democrats- who seem to have all gathered in California, and the mainstream media, when the chips were down Donald Trump came through on PCW’s biggest stage.

Colleen Crowder: I think I’m going to be sick.

Johnny Suave: Is that the narrative or an actual story?

Colleen Crowder: Shut up!

Johnny Suave: Let’s go up to Kimber Marshall in the ring for the official announcement.

Kimber Marshall: Your winner at twenty four minutes, forty-three seconds…and the NEW CEO of POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING!

In his corner, Trump raises his arms in the air.  Kellyanne Conway and Mike Pence shake hands and exchange celebratory hugs.

Kimber Marshall: DONALD J. TRUMP-

No sooner than Marshall finished saying Trump, a woman in purple dress jumps into the ring and knocks down the PCW ring announcer.  She grabs the microphone from Marshall.  Her face beet red, clearly infuriated at the result, she points down at Kimber on the deck.

Woman in Ring: YOU SOLD OUT POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING!

Kimber just gives her a ‘WTF’ glance.  The woman then turns to the American Patriots at ringside and delivers more of her venom.

Woman in Ring: YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE IN POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING!

She points at Trump.

Woman in Ring: THIS IS MY PCW!

She points at herself and screeches.

Woman in Ring: DO YOU HEAR ME?  THIS IS MY PCW!

Then she throws herself on the mat and begins to kick her feet and flail her arms wildly.

Johnny Suave: Great.  Is she going to hold her breath next?

Then she holds her breath as she kicks and flails away.  Her face quickly turns red.

Johnny Suave: Really?  Hopefully we can get security out here to restore some order.

PCW Security comes to the ring to escort the woman out.  But before she can be taken away, another commotion flares out inside Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon.

Johnny Suave: HERE COMES HOLLYWOOD OSCAR WINNING SCREENWRITER AARON SORKIN AND HE LOOKS PISSED!

Aaron Sorkin: WAIT A MINUTE!  HOLD ON, ONE SECOND!

Sorkin, noted liberal activist, flies down to ringside and grabs a microphone from a ringside technician.

Aaron Sorkin: I wrote this letter to my daughter.

Sorkin pulls out a sheet of paper and begins to read.

Aaron Sorkin: I’m not going to sugarcoat this- this is truly horrible…

Progressive Alliance fans agree with Sorkin’s sentiment.  Supporters of the American Patriots?  Not so much.

Aaron Sorkin: …it’s hardly the first time my candidate didn’t win…in fact it’s the sixth time…but it is the first time that a thoroughly incompetent pig with dangerous ideas, a serious psychiatric disorder, no knowledge of the world and no curiosity to learn has.

Again, the agreement to Mr. Sorkin’s views are sharply split according to one’s political preference.

Aaron Sorkin: And it wasn’t just Donald Trump who won tonight—it was his supporters too. The Klan won last night. White nationalists. Sexists, racists and buffoons.

This gets the attention of Blackwell, McAvay, and Bryan.  All three turn and wonder if Sorkin is really talking about them.

He is.

Aaron Sorkin: That’s right.  Angry young white men who think rap music and Cinco de Mayo are a threat to their way of life or are the reason for their way of life have been given cause to celebrate. Men who have no right to call themselves that and who think that women who aspire to more than looking hot are shrill, ugly, and otherwise worthy of our scorn rather than our admiration struck a blow for misogynistic shitheads everywhere…

Johnny Suave: Really? He’s slagging not just the Les Miserables but an entire class of people simply because they didn’t support his candidate AND couching it as a ‘heartfelt letter’ to his daughter?  You’ve got to be kidding me!

Colleen Crowder: He’s speaking to truth, Johnny.  Everything he’s saying is true.

Aaron Sorkin: …hate was given hope. Abject dumbness was glamorized as being “the fresh voice of an outsider” who’s going to shake things-

**Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’ begins to play**

Hack’s explodes.  Sorkin stops and watches as the Extreme Equalizer bolts down the aisle towards ringside.

Johnny Suave: WE’RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT WHAT THE EXTREME EQUALIZER THINKS ABOUT ALL THIS.  IT’S WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Colleen Crowder: Don’t do it!

Sorkin defiantly stands his ground and doesn’t attempt to escape.  The Extreme Equalizer launches himself at him with his right arm outstretched.

Johnny Suave: CLOTHESLINE AND DOWN GOES SORKIN!

McAvay and Bryan set up a table.  WTF then pulls Sorkin up and drags him over.

Colleen Crowder: DON’T DO IT!

Lifted in the air by the throat, Sorkin is then driven through the table by Whiskey Tango Foxtrot with such force that the table snaps in two cleanly upon impact.

A crowd chant erupts: “PCW!  PCW!  PCW!”

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!  THE EXTREME EQUALIZER JUST CHOKESLAMMED AARON SORKIN THROUGH THE TABLE!

WTF admires his handiwork until more people come flying out from the back.

*“WITH TALENT ON LOAN FROM GOD!”*

Over half of the crowd immediately boos as ‘The Innovator of Extreme Broadcast Excellence’ Rush Limbaugh smugly appears.  Limbaugh’s ‘Dittoheads’ stand up and cheer when Limbaugh walks towards ringside and openly laughs at Sorkin- who’s lying in the ruins of a table.

Johnny Suave: Well, here we go.  You know Limbaugh is eating up everything that’s gone down here tonight.

Crowd chant: “OX-Y CONT-TIN! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) OX-Y CONT-TIN! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)…”

Rush Limbaugh: “That’s right. It is I…”

Crowd: “WHO?”

Rush Limbaugh: “…El Rushbo…”

Crowd: “WHO?”

Rush Limbaugh: “…The Maharushbie…”

Crowd: “WHO?”

Rush Limbaugh: “…With talent on loan from-”

Crowd: “ROB!”

Limbaugh pauses.

Rush Limbaugh: “No.”

Crowd: “BOB!”

Rush Limbaugh: “No!”

Crowd: “MOM!”

Rush Limbaugh: SHUT UP! IT’S GOD YOU IDIOTS…GOD, GOD, GOD! *clears throat* Now, as I was saying in a manner that only I, with my years of broadcast excellence, can say.  It’s clear here that the Progressive Alliance and the drive by media are going to do everything possible to delegitimize Donald Trump’s win here tonight.  The liberals will fight tooth and nail against Trump because their candidate didn’t win.

Suddenly, the video screen fires up and we take a trip back in time to 2009, one week after PCW CEO Barack Obama was sworn in…

(FILM CLIP- PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV- January 27th, 2009) *“WITH TALENT ON LOAN FROM GOD!”*

The crowd immediately boos as ‘The Innovator of Extreme Broadcast Excellence’ Rush Limbaugh and the “Queen of Political Extreme” Ann Coulter appear in the spotlight and both begin to walk towards the ring.

Suave: Well, this is not a surprise. Limbaugh has been sparring publicly with the new PCW CEO Barack Obama in the news the last week. And I know Ann Coulter is never for a loss of words.

Crowd: “OX-Y CONT-TIN! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) OX-Y CONT-TIN! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)…

Limbaugh joins Suave in the ring…

Suave: What can I do for you, Mr. Limbaugh?

Rush: We’re both here tonight to say…we told you so. That’s right. It’s taken less than a week for the new PCW CEO Barack Hussein Obama to show his true colors. I don’t care what anybody else thinks. I…WANT…OBAMA…TO…FAIL. Period. I hope he fails.

Suave: Welllllllllll?

Limbaugh smiles ackwardly and tries to back up.

Rush Limbaugh: Now hold on here, that was different…um…I-  *ack*

Limbaugh suddenly finds himself in the clutches of one Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.   Hand on his throat, WTF lifts him into the air and then slams him to the floor.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!  HE JUST CHOKESLAMMED RUSH LIMBAUGH!

The Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon fans react with another loud chant in unison: “PCW!  PCW!  PCW!”

Johnny Suave: What goes around, comes around.

Colleen Crowder: I’d say he definitely deserved that.

Another roar from the crowd. Yet again, another run-in.

Johnny Suave: Now what?

Suave searches and sees the bespectacled man headed towards the ring and realizes who he is.

Johnny Suave: Awww.  Not him.

‘Him’ is former MSNBC and Current TV commentator and current host of GQ’s political webshow ‘The Resistance with Keith Olbermann’- Keith Olbermann.  And Keith has a megaphone.  He runs up to where Limbaugh is splayed out on the floor and points the megaphone down at him.

Keith Olbermann: I WILL LEAD THE RESISTANCE!  I AM THE RESISTANCE… I AM *ack*

WTF rolls his eyes and in one swift movement grabs Olbermann by the throat…lifts him up and chokeslams to the floor right next to Limbaugh.

Colleen Crowder: WHAT IS HE DOING?

The “PCW!  PCW!  PCW!” chant now echoes all over the bar.

***

Cut back to Johnny Suave live at the broadcast table…

Johnny Suave: And with that, Donald Trump became the CEO of PCW for the next four years.

“How Dare You” with 9-year-old Eva McAvay The camera zooms in on a miniature wrestling ring set up in the center of the PCW studio. A small figure stands in the middle, her blonde pigtails bouncing as she adjusts the microphone in her hand. It’s Eva McAvay, Dawn McGill’s 9-year-old daughter, her face set in a determined scowl that seems out of place on her cherubic features.

Eva McAvay: How dare you?

Eva’s voice booms through the arena, her tiny frame shaking with passion. She points her finger dramatically at the camera and startles even Johnny Suave, who takes a step back from the tiny titan.

Eva McAvay: Tearing your family apart because of some stupid political beliefs? That’s not what Thanksgiving and Christmas are about!

She slams her fist into her other hand.

Eva McAvay: It’s about love and togetherness, people! Can’t you see that? Jeez, just grow the *BLEEP* up-

Her eyes blaze with righteous anger. But before she can continue, Dawn McGill’s voice cuts in sharply.

Dawn McGill (offscreen): EVA!

With a sheepish glance at her mother, Eva lowers her head.

Eva McAvay: Sorry, Mom.

Cut back to Johnny Suave…

Johnny Suave: All right.  Hopefully, everyone had a very Happy Thanksgiving.  Next up…  we’re going to replay the 2020 CEO of PCW match featuring Donald Trump and Joe Biden.  Let’s run the tape now.

***

The 2020 Battle for PCW CEO-: ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott w/PCW CEO Donald Trump, Aide de Camp Mike Pence (American Patriots) vs. ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels w/PCW CEO candidate Joe Biden, Aide de Camp candidate Kamala Harris (Progressive Alliance) Kimber Marshall stands in the middle of the ring.

Kimber Marshall: “Ladies and gentlemen, this match will be…”

Crowd: ONE fall!

Kimber Marshall: “And it will be for the PCW Title!  Introducing first…

*”Glory Days”-Bruce Springsteen*

Johnny Suave: “Ah.  Bruce Springsteen.  Another one of the many celebs who’ve promised to move out of the US if Trump wins.”

Colleen Crowder: “Don’t you bad mouth ‘The Boss.’  Springsteen speaks the truth.”

Joe Biden comes out with his wife Dr. Jill Biden (and don’t you forget the ‘Dr.’ part).  Behind him is his choice for Aide de Camp Kamala Harris.

Then Marshall announces the Progressive Alliance wrestler taking part in the match.

‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels HT: 6′ 0″ WT: 200 / HOME: Hollywood, CA FIN: The True Hollywood Blockbuster

Daniels comes out and shakes hands with both Bidens and Kamala Harris.

Kimber Marshall: “And their opponent…

*”Imperial March”- Star Wars*

The supporters “TRUMP!  TRUMP! TRUMP!” chant merges with the melody of the Imperial March and becomes:

“TRUMP.

TRUMP.

TRUMP.

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP”

Dressed in all black complete with a flowing black cape, Donald Trump and his spokesperson Kayleigh McEnaney walk out on stage to a big ovation from the American Patriots.

Kimber Marshall: Residing in the Trump Tower in the great city of New York, New York!  He promises to…

The Trump supporters shout out: “MAKE PCW GREAT AGAIN!”

Kimber Marshall: Accompanied by his Aide de Camp Mike Pence and representing the American Patriots!  LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!  THE CURRENT CEO OF PCW- DONALD J. TRUMP!

Again, the Trump supporters let loose with thunderous roar that shakes the building.  Trump nods and acknowledges the fans.

Johnny Suave: “Here he is.  The current CEO of PCW.  Donald Trump.”

Colleen Crowder: “Ugh.  And he’s being led to the ring by… her.”

Johnny Suave: “You’re just saying that because Kayleigh McEnaney won’t play the ‘game’ the way you want her to play.”

McEnaney leads the way as Trump, black robe ruffling behind him as he strides, makes his way down the steps from the stage toward the ring followed by Mike Pence and Pence’s wife Karen.

Marshall then announces the American Patriots’s wrestler.

‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott HT: 6′ 3″ WT: 250, HOME: Ottumwa, IA FIN: American Stars and Fujiawa Arm Bar

Scott walks out on stage and shakes hands with Trump, Pence, Mrs. Pence.  Then the entourage heads towards the ring.

Johnny Suave: “So here we are.  This is for the PCW title and then we will find out who will be the PCW CEO for the next four years.”

Colleen Crowder: “We already know the answer.  It’s going to be Joe Biden.”

Biden shouts encouragement to Kevin Daniels- but he’s facing the wrong way.  Harris subtly turns him around towards the ring.

Before the match starts, Suave and Crowder are joined by special guests- the CEOs of Twitter and Facebook Jack Dorsey and Mark Zuckerberg.

The bell sounds and the match begins.

Scott rushes forward.  Daniels side-steps him.  The two men circle.  Scott aggressively comes forward.  Daniels plays defense and makes him chase.   Daniels connects with a spin kick that gives Scott some pause.  Quick lock up – Scott takes a headlock – Daniels slips out.  Scott fires off right and left hands. He follows with a standing spinebuster.  Hooks the leg – one – two – Daniels kicks out and calls a ‘time-out.’  He rolls outside the ring and confers with Biden and Harris.

Johnny Suave: “Kevin Scott off to a fast start here causing Mr. Hollywood to bail out of the ring.”

Jack Dorsey: “Actually Johnny, before you share this content, you might want to know that fact-checking sites, Snope.com, and other media sources have disputed the accuracy of it.”

Colleen Crowder: “Yeah!  Kevin Daniels is probably just getting warmed up and wanted to talk strategy with Joe Biden.”

Once back in, Daniels and Scott tie up – Scott gains control.  He wrenches, hammerlocks, and throws forearms into Daniels’s back.  Headlock by Scott and hits the takeover.  Scott tries to grind Daniels down.   Daniels fights up and around but Scott wrenches the arm again.  Scott takes a wristlock.  Daniels throws a couple body shots.  Surprise roll into a REAR NAKED CHOKE!  Scott elbows out.   Daniels with a drop toehold and gets the legs to hook them.  One – Scott powers out.  Scott goes for a rear bear hug – Daniels fights his way out with elbows.  Daniels backdrops Scott to the mat.  Scott up – Daniels legsweeps him back down.  Cover.  One – two – no.  Scott powers out.

Johnny Suave: “Better from Kevin Daniels there.  He seems to be coming into the match.”

Colleen Crowder: “Johnny, I don’t know what match you’ve been watching but it’s clear Daniels is totally dominating the match.”

Johnny Suave: “That’s debatable.”

Mark Zuckerberg: “Actually Johnny, we’ll allow it.  It’s a factual statement.”

Johnny Suave: “Of course you will.”

Scott nails Daniels with a kick to the jaw.  Cover.  One – two – 2.5 – Daniels just kicks out before the three count.  Scott boots Daniels in the gut.  Daniels drops to a knee – Scott drags him right back up.  He goes to whip Daniels – Daniels reverses and knees Scott low and hard!  Daniels hits the ropes and Scott ducks under.  Another boot to the gut and a Sling Blade takes Daniels down.  Cover.  One – Two – NO! Daniels just gets the shoulder up.

Johnny Suave: “Another close pinfall for Kevin Scott.  He is really doing well here tonight.”

Jack Dorsey: “Again Johnny, before you share something like that, you should know that independent fact checkers dispute its accuracy.”

Johnny Suave: “It’s an opinion Jack that I’m entitled to based on what I’ve witnessed here during the match.”

Mark Zuckerberg: “Once again, what you said is disputed by third party fact checkers.”

Johnny Suave: “*BLEEP* your third-party fact checkers.”

Daniels grows a little frustrated.  He goes to the referee and starts to berate him.  This allows Kamala Harris to sneak into the ring with a steel-folding chair.  She raises it up – Mike Pence runs in- followed by his wife Karen (Pence never eats alone with a woman other than his wife and won’t attend events featuring alcohol without her by his side).  Mike grabs the chair and stops Harris – the chair falls and accidently lands on Harris’s foot.

Colleen Crowder: “MIKE PENCE DID THAT ON PURPOSE!”

Johnny Suave: “Harris was going to hit ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott with that chair.”

Jack Dorsey: “Er.  Independent fact-checkers say that statement contains false information-“

Suave turns off Zuckerberg and Dorsey’s microphone.

Crowder goes ballistic and demands Suave turn their microphones back on.

Johnny Suave: “I guess it really does suck when you get censored, huh.”

Pence apologizes to Harris for the incident.

Harris kicks him in the groin.

Johnny Suave: “Ooooh.  Apology not accepted.  And Kamala Harris did that on purpose.”

Colleen Crowder: “She did not!  She……….um, slipped.”

Karen Pence then tackles Harris in the ring and both women roll around on the mat.

Johnny Suave: “CAT-FIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!  CAT-FIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!”

Colleen Crowder: “Okay.  That was totally offensive, Johnny.”

Meanwhile, Daniels runs the ropes – Scott ducks a clothesline and waits for him to come back to clock Daniels with a right hand.  Scott blocks a suplex attempt using the power of gravity. Daniels walks into a body slam.  Scott covers.  One – two – 2.999!  Daniels just gets a shoulder off the mat.  Scott CLOBBERS Daniels with a right hand.  Cover.  One – two – THR-THE REFEREE GETS PULLED OUT OF THE RING!

Johnny Suave: “WHAT THE HELL?”

All three members of the Guild of Low Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves Colleen Crowder- New York Times, Sharon Johns- CNN, and Dan Miller- Washington Post yank the referee out of the ring.

All hell breaks loose.  The media climb into the ring while another referee appears and rolls in under the ropes.

Scott’s trying to figure out what’s going on.  Daniels just gets back to his feet and even he’s wondering what’s happening.

The referee calls for the bell.  He goes to ring announcer Kimber Marshall and tells her what his decision is.

Marshall climbs into the ring and makes the announcement.

WINNER AND NEW PCW MEN’S CHAMPION: ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels (Progressive Alliance) @ 10:48

Johnny Suave: “WHAT?”

A huge celebration erupts in the ring as Arizona Secretary of State Katie Hobbs, Pennsylvania State Attorney General Josh Shapiro, Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson, and former Georgia Gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams join Daniels, the Bidens, Harris, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, and the Guild of Low Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves (Crowder-NY Times, Johns-CNN, and Miller-Washington Post).

Outside the ring and around the bar- not so much.  The PCW fans are shocked.  Kevin Scott is stunned at the decision.  Trump is furious and tries to corral the referee but the ref is in the middle of the Progressive Alliance party going on in the ring.

Johnny Suave: “Kevin Daniels has been named the new PCW champion even though he did not pin ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott.”

If the PCW fans didn’t like the Daniels decision, they definitely didn’t like what happened next…

THE DECISION.  TRUMP OR BIDEN? The Coke Brothers (Charles and David), George Moros, Lincoln Project Executive Director Sarah Lenti slowly make their way down to the ring.

Johnny Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Johnny Suave: “The fans have already connected the dots on this one.  Dawn McGill- missing.  The DC Establishment is here.”

The Cokes, Moros, and Lenti have to duck and dodge debris.

Biden stands in front of the big group that’s gathered inside the ring for the announcement.   Donald Trump stands on the outside.

The four climb into the ring.  Moros has a microphone and he doesn’t waste any time.

George Moros: “Joe Biden-“

The Progressive Alliance explode with joy inside the ring.

Johnny Suave: “THAT’S IT!  JOE BIDEN HAS BEEN SELECTED TO BECOME THE NEW CEO OF POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING!”

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Biden looks towards Trump for the traditional post-match handshake- but Trump has already left ringside and headed towards the back.

Johnny Suave: “NO HANDSHAKE.  TRUMP’S GOING TO THE BACK.”

***

Cut back to Johnny Suave live at the broadcast desk…

Johnny Suave: So, thus began Joe Biden’s four year run as CEO of PCW.  Now… Eva McAvay is back with more.  Let’s hear what she has to say.

“How Dare You!” with 9-year-old Eva McAvay Eva’s eyes narrow as she launches into her tirade.

Eva McAvay: How dare you… Washington fat cats think you can push us around? Well, not on my watch!”

She paces back and forth, her sneakers squeaking with each step.

Eva McAvay: You locked up patriots for J6 like they were hardened criminals! Misdemeanors became life sentences faster than The Ultimate Social Justice Warrior can say ‘check your privilege’!

Eva’s voice cracks with emotion, her little fists clenching.

She takes a deep breath, her chest heaving with righteous indignation.

Eva McAvay: And don’t get me started on how you used COVID to stomp all over our rights! You forced medicine down our throats like we’re your personal lab rats!

Eva’s face turns red as she builds to her climax.

Eva McAvay: The Department of Justice? More like the Department of Just-Us, am I right?

She pauses, waiting for a reaction, but the stunned silence only fuels her further.

Eva takes another deep breath, her tiny frame shaking with emotion.

Eva McAvay: You think you can take our guns? Well, the ATF can pry them from my cold, dead Barbie hands!

She stomps her foot, the impact echoing through the studio.

Eva McAvay: And don’t even get me started on the border! You’ve turned our great nation into a turnstile for criminals and drug dealers!

Eva’s voice rises to a fever pitch as she delivers her final blows.

Eva McAvay: You’ve bankrupted our country with your handouts and destroyed our energy sector for your tree-hugging fantasies!  HOW…DARE… YOU!

Cut back to Johnny Suave…

Johnny Suave: Little Eva McAvay is on fire tonight.

***

Update on the California Vote Counting The studio lights flicker as Johnny Suave clears his throat, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Johnny Suave: And now, folks, we have a special treat for you. Let’s check in on the hardworking vote counters in California, still at it nearly a month after the election.

The screen behind him flickers to life, revealing a dimly lit room. A solitary sloth hangs from a chair, its claws moving in slow motion towards a stack of ballots. The creature blinks languidly, taking an eternity to pick up a single piece of paper.

Johnny Suave: Ahhh.  That explains it.

***

The Legacy Media Strikes Back The ring is awash in a sea of microphones and notepads, as four figures stand poised like prizefighters ready for battle. But these aren’t your typical wrestlers – they’re the Guild of Low-Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves.

Colleen Crowder adjusts her stylish glasses, her auburn hair glinting under the harsh lights, and her voice brimming with the smooth confidence of a seasoned, low-level New York Times reporter with higher aspirations.

Colleen Crowder: Ladies and gentlemen, we’re here to address a grave threat to our profession and our relevancy. Joe Rogan is single-handedly dismantling the legacy media!

Sharon Johns- a low-level Washington Post reporter trying to make a name for herself- nods vigorously, her ponytail bouncing with each movement.

Sharon Johns: That’s right, Colleen. We can’t let some podcast jockey with a penchant for DMT take our place!”

Johnny Suave comments from the broadcast table.

Johnny Suave: Oh boy, folks! Looks like we’ve got a real media showdown brewing!

Colleen’s green eyes narrow as she scans the crowd.

Colleen Crowder: You people need to understand the gravity of the situation. We’re the gatekeepers of truth, damn it! But fear not, for we have a champion in our corner. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the co-founder and CEO of Axios, Jim Vandehei!

As Vandehei strides toward the ring, Johnny Suave can’t help but make a quip.

Johnny Suave: Well, well! If it isn’t the man who turned long-form journalism into bite-sized chunks!

Vandehei grabs a microphone, his face flushed with emotion.

Jim Vandehei: I hate this damn debate about not needing the media. It’s bull*BLEEP*!

Vandehei barrels on.

Jim Vandehei: It’s about sitting in a war zone, telling people what’s actually happening, not just looking at distortion. That matters, damn it!

Vandehei’s eyes blaze with intensity as he continues his impassioned speech.

Jim Vandehei: It matters profoundly! We don’t love getting up at 3:00, 4:00 in the morning every single day for kicks. We do it because it matters!

Johnny Suave chuckles.

Johnny Suave: Sounds like someone needs to invest in a good alarm clock.

Vandehei plows on, his voice rising.

Jim Vandehei: Everything we do is under fire. Elon Musk sits on Twitter – or X, whatever – every day saying, ‘We are the media, you are the media.’ Well, my message to Elon Musk is: Bull*BLEEP*!

The crowd collectively gasps at the expletive, some cheering, others booing.

Jim Vandehei: You’re not the media!

Vandehei gesticulates wildly.

Jim Vandehei: Having a blue check mark, a Twitter handle, and 300 words of cleverness doesn’t make you a reporter!

Vandehei, now red-faced and sweating, barrels on.

Jim Vandehei: It’s no more legitimate than me looking at your head, seeing you have a brain, and declaring myself a damn neurosurgeon!

Vandehei’s face is beet red, veins bulging in his neck as he paces the ring like a caged animal. He grips the microphone so tightly his knuckles are white.

Jim Vandehei: Being a reporter’s hard. Really hard. You have to care.

Johnny Suave: Unlike caring about your blood pressure, apparently.

Jim Vandehei: You have to do the hard work. You have to get up every single day and say I want to get to the closest approximation of the truth without any fear, without any favoritism.

As Vandehei rants, Suave thinks to himself, “This guy’s about two seconds away from spontaneously combusting. I wonder if PCW’s insurance covers ‘death by righteous indignation’?”

Vandehei’s pacing intensifies, his gestures becoming more wild with each word.

Jim Vandehei: You don’t do that by popping off on Twitter. You don’t do that by having an opinion. You do it by doing the hard work.

Johnny Suave: But yet, that’s what many in the legacy media did. And that’s why their reputations and the public’s perception of the legacy media is so bad. Speaking of new media… Eva McAvay is back again with another edition of “How Dare You?”

Jim Vandehei: Hey-

PCW cuts away to the cute 9-year-old girl.

***

“How Dare You?” with 9-year-old Eva McAvay Eva’s eyes narrow, her gaze fixating on an imaginary Kamala Harris.

Eva McAvay: And how dare you, Ms. Vice President.  How dare you spend a billion dollars on your campaign and still end up owing twenty million? That’s like buying a Happy Meal and somehow owing McDonald’s your college fund!

The studio audience gasps, a mix of shock and awe rippling through the crowd.

Eva McAvay: If you can’t even balance your campaign checkbook, how in the world do you expect to handle our national piggy bank?

Eva’s tiny fists clench at her sides.

Eva McAvay: You’d probably try to pay off the national debt with Monopoly money!

Eva takes a dramatic pause, her chest heaving with righteous indignation.

Eva McAvay: How. Dare. You!

Each word is punctuated with a stomp of her light-up sneakers.

Suddenly, a tall figure emerges from the shadows of the studio.

Familiar Voice: Hey there, little warrior.

Eva whirls around, her eyes widening in recognition.

Eva McAvay: Y-you’re Elon Musk!

Elon nods, a bemused smile playing on his lips.

Elon Musk: That’s right. And I wanted to tell you, it’s going to be okay.

Eva’s jaw drops.

Elon Musk: We’re going to try and fix it.

Eva McAvay: I… I…

Her eyes roll back in her head and she crumples to the floor in a dead faint.

*THUNK*

Dawn rushes out.

Dawn McGill: Eva?

Elon Musk: It’s okay. It happens all the time.

Johnny Suave: Well, that’s one way to end a segment.  Thank you Eva.  Let’s go to our final match tonight… this year’s PCW CEO Match between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris.

***

MAIN EVENT-2024 PCW CEO MATCH: Donald Trump w/J.D. Vance (American Patriots) vs. Kamala Harris w/Tim Walz (Progressive Alliance) Suddenly, the familiar brassy strains of the Imperial March fill the air, melding into a thunderous chant that shakes the very foundations of the arena.

TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!

The crowd’s fervor reaches a fever pitch as Donald Trump emerges, bathed in a sea of red light. Kid Rock’s “American Rock and Roll” blasts through the speakers, and Trump raises his arms triumphantly, soaking in the adulation.

Suave’s voice rises above the din.

Johnny Suave: There he is! The man who promises to make PCW great again!

Crowder interjects, her tone skeptical.

Colleen Crowder: Or plunge it into chaos, depending on your perspective.

Trump struts down the ramp, his signature red tie flapping as he gestures to the crowd. J.D. Vance appears at his side, pumping his fist in solidarity.

As they near the ring, the music fades, replaced by Beyoncé’s “Freedom.” The crowd’s reaction splits, boos and cheers mingling in a cacophony of political division.

Oprah Winfrey steps out on stage… her voice booms through the arena.

Oprah Winfrey: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome… KAMALA HAR-RIS!

Harris emerges with Tim Walz, her stride purposeful, her eyes locked on the ring where Trump awaits. As she rolls under the bottom rope, their gazes meet, the air between them crackling with tension.

Johnny Suave: This is it, folks. The future of PCW – and perhaps America itself – will be decided tonight in this very ring.

Crowder nods gravely.

Colleen Crowder: Two ideologies, two visions for the future, about to collide in spectacular fashion. Let’s just hope the right vision prevails tonight.

As Harris and Trump circle each other, the crowd’s chants grow louder, a nation divided echoed in the voice of the PCW faithful.

Johnny Suave: Your referee will be Davey Keels.   Hang on tight… we are in for a wild ride tonight.  Trump versus Harris.  The winner becomes the new CEO of PCW.

The bell rings, echoing through the arena as Trump and Harris lock up in the center of the ring. The crowd’s roar is deafening, a cacophony of cheers and boos battling for dominance.

Harris strikes first, her leg whipping out in a low kick that catches Trump off guard. She follows up with a swift enziguri, her foot connecting with Trump’s temple. The former president stumbles, and Harris pounces for the cover.

“One!” Davey Keels’ hand slaps the mat, but Trump kicks out with force.

Johnny Suave: Harris coming out hot! But Trump’s not going down that easy!

Trump, shaking off the cobwebs, grabs Harris and attempts to fling her into the ropes. But Harris, ever the politician, reverses the momentum. Trump, caught off-guard, grabs the ropes to steady himself.

Colleen Crowder: Slick move by Harris! She’s not letting Trump dictate the pace!  She can do this.

Trump, his face a mask of determination, trips Harris as she rebounds off the ropes. She hits the mat hard, and Trump capitalizes with a brutal basement uppercut.

Johnny Suave: Oh! Trump with that patented ‘low blow’ we’ve seen so often in his political career! .

The crowd is on its feet as Trump follows up with a sliding lariat, his arm clotheslining Harris with devastating impact. He goes for the cover, and Keels’ hand comes down again.

“One! Two!” But Harris kicks out at the last second.

Trump, frustration evident on his face, grabs Harris and bodily throws her through the ropes. The fans closest to the action scatter as Harris crashes to the floor.

Johnny Suave: Trump taking this fight outside the ring!

Colleen Crowder: Just like he takes everything outside the norms of politics!

As Trump follows Harris to the outside, she scrambles for a weapon. Her hand finds a steel chair, and she swings with all her might.

CLANG!

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

The sound reverberates through the arena as the chair connects with Trump’s head. He goes down hard, and Harris seizes control.

Johnny Suave: Harris is dismantling Trump!

For the next five minutes, Harris dominates, utilizing the chair and every dirty trick in the book. She goes for multiple covers, but Trump’s resilience shines through.

Colleen Crowder: Trump kicks out at one!

Crowder sounds almost disappointed.

Colleen Crowder: You’ve got to wonder where he’s getting this strength from!  Come on Kamala!

Harris, growing desperate, attempts to pillmanize Trump’s knee with the chair. But in a move that shocks everyone, Trump no-sells the attack, popping up as if nothing happened.

Johnny Suave: Unbelievable! Trump just shrugged off what should have been a devastating move! Is he even human?

As they make their way back to the ring, Harris tries to climb in first. But Trump, seizing the opportunity, grabs her and slams her hard to the floor.

Johnny Suave: Oh! Trump gives her a taste of her own medicine!”

Crowder winces.

Colleen Crowder: This match is far from over, Johnny.  At least, that’s the narrative we’re reporting.

The ring creaks under the weight of the combatants as Trump and Harris circle each other, a wooden table now situated ominously in the corner. Walz and Vance, like opposing cornermen in a boxing match, toss chairs into the ring, the metallic clang echoing through the arena.

Johnny Suave: Ladies and gentlemen, this is turning into a hardware store! We’ve got tables, we’ve got chairs – what’s next, a kitchen sink?

Trump lunges forward, grabbing Harris in a headlock. She counters, twisting out and shoving him towards the ropes. As Trump rebounds, Harris ducks, aiming for a backdrop. But Trump leapfrogs over her, landing with surprising agility for a man his age.

Johnny Suave: Did you see that, Colleen? Trump’s moving like a man half his age!

Colleen Crowder: Whatever John-

Colleen Crowder’s reply is cut short as a commotion erupts at ringside. Neal Conn…

Johnny Suave: Here comes Neal Conn… making foreign policy as paramount responsibility of government, seeing the need for the U.S. acting as the world’s sole superpower as indispensable to establishing and maintaining global order.  I’m supposed to say that whenever I say his name.

…and Hallie Burton…

Johnny Suave: Hallie Burton- protector of the military-industrial complex… yes… I’m supposed to say that too.

Conn and Burton along with a group of well-dressed individuals storm the ring, led by a figure that looks like Darth Vader crossed with Dick Cheney.

Johnny Suave: I wondered when they’d be making their appearance.  It’s the Never Trumper group Conservative, Inc. and is that… Darth Dick Cheney?

The group swarms the ring.  But then…

Johnny Suave: IT’S THE AMERICAN HEARTLAND COALITION!

‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay, PCW Champion Charlie Blackwell, ‘The Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan, and the ‘Alaskan Rogue’ Sierra Whalen hop the rail and tackle Conn and Burton.

Johnny Suave: The AHC are taking care of Conservative Inc.  but the Never Trumpers are at ringside now!

Bill Kristol and Charlie Sykes pulling Trump’s legs out from under him. Jonah Goldberg and David French follow up with chair shots to Trump’s back.

Harris retreats to a corner, a smirk playing on her lips as she watches the chaos unfold.

Johnny Suave: This is a travesty! Where’s the referee? Where’s security?

As if in answer, the crowd pops when a new group charges down the ramp. Elon Musk leads the charge, followed closely by Vivek Ramaswamy and Bobby Kennedy Jr.

Johnny Suave: The anti-establishment squad is here!

Musk slides into the ring, immediately tackling David Brooks. Ramaswamy goes after Mitt Romney, while RFK Jr. grapples with George Conway.

The ring becomes a sea of flailing limbs and flying chairs. Tulsi Gabbard grabs the Washington Post’s so-called ‘conservative’ columnist Jennifer Rubin by the hair, tossing her over the top rope.

Johnny Suave: Jen Rubin… who called for newspaper writers to quit the LA Times and USA Today because they wouldn’t endorse Kamala Harris… but didn’t offer to quit the Washington Post… gets thrown out of the ring.

Trump, finally free from the pile-on, stumbles to his feet. He locks eyes with Darth Dick Cheney, who’s advancing menacingly.

Johnny Suave: Here we go. Time to drain the swamp.

Trump grabs a nearby chair.

Colleen Crowder: I’m a little conflicted on this.  Yes, Cheney throwing his support to Harris is good.  But Dick Cheney?  Ehhh…

As Cheney reaches for him, Trump swings the chair with all his might, connecting with a resounding clang that seems to shake the very foundations of the arena.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP! Down goes Cheney!

Nicole Shanahan tosses Liz Cheney through the ropes.

Johnny Suave: And there goes Liz.  Wait… there’s a commotion.  Now what?

The arena erupts as a new wave of chaos descends upon the ring. A swarm of suits and microphones floods down the ramp.

Johnny Suave: The legacy media has arrived! ABC, CBS, NBC, PBS, NPR, CNN, MSNBC – they’re all here!

Colleen Crowder leans forward, her eyes gleaming.

Colleen Crowder: Finally, some real journalists to set the record straight!

The legacy media crew circles the ring like sharks, but J.D. Vance is ready. He clotheslines an MSNBC anchor over the top rope, then hip-tosses a CNN correspondent out of the ring.

Colleen becomes alarmed.

Colleen Crowder: What is he doing?

Johnny Suave: Vance is cleaning house!” Suave shouts. “These media folks are about as welcome as fact-checkers at a campaign rally!”

Vivek Ramaswamy joins the fray, suplexing a CBS reporter onto a conveniently placed table.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Suddenly, the crowd erupts and Suave’s voice reaching a fever pitch.

Johnny Suave: IT’S JOE ROGAN!”

The podcast king sprints down the ramp, leaping into the ring with the agility of a UFC fighter. Rogan immediately locks eyes with a terrified ABC anchor.

Rogan growls, before launching into a spinning back kick that sends the anchor flying through the ropes.

As Rogan, Vance, and Ramaswamy clear the ring of the last media stragglers, the crowd chants: “JOE! JOE! JOE!”

But the night is far from over. The familiar strains of “Hail to the Chief” fill the arena, and two figures appear at the top of the ramp.

Colleen Crowder: YES!  It’s Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama!

Crowder can barely containing her excitement.

Colleen Crowder: Maybe they can get Harris across the line.

As they make their way down, Tulsi Gabbard locks eyes with Hillary. Without warning, she sprints across the ring and dives through the ropes, tackling Clinton to the ground.

Johnny Suave: CAT-FIGHT… CAT-FIIIIIIGHT!

The two women roll around on the entrance ramp.

Colleen Crowder: WHAT IS SHE DOING?

Johnny Suave: Hillary Clinton once accused Tulsi an agent of Russia back in 2019 after Gabbard tore apart Kamala Harris in a debate.  She didn’t forget.

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!

Suddenly, Don Cheadle, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Evans, Robert Downey, Jr, Scarlett Johansson, and Paul Bettany appear on stage.

Colleen Crowder: YES!

Johnny Suave: Big Hollywood’s big stars are here tonight on Kamala Harris’s behalf and-  WAIT!

The arena erupts in chaos as a group of bearded men in suspenders and wide-brimmed hats storm the stage.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP.

Suave’s voice cracks with disbelief.

Johnny Suave: It’s a group of angry Amish men from Pennsylvania!

Colleen Crowder: WH- WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

Johnny Suave: They’re mad because of a January federal raid on a local raw milk farm in Bird in Hand, Pa.  The Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture stormed Amos Miller’s farm Jan. 4 after reports of illnesses in children linked to raw dairy products purchased there.

As straw hats and designer sunglasses fly, Trump seizes the moment. He grabs Harris, whipping her into the ropes.

Johnny Suave: Hotshot Stunner!

Trump catches Harris on the rebound, driving her head into his shoulder.

Colleen Crowder: NOOOO!

Trump’s not done. He hoists Harris up in a fireman’s carry, circling the ring as the crowd roars as Trump brings Harris crashing down.

Johnny Suave: Side Slam by Trump and he’s in control of this match.

Davey Keels slides into position, his hand slapping the mat. “One! Two!” But Harris kicks out at the last second.

Trump climbs the turnbuckle, his tie flapping in the wind. The fans are on their feet, cell phones raised to capture the moment. Suddenly, a blur of movement catches Trump’s eye.

Colleen Crowder: It’s Joy Reid!

The MSNBC host runs in and grabs Harris, pulling her to safety.

Trump’s face contorts with frustration.

Johnny Suave: You can run, but you can’t hide from the red wave!

Colleen Crowder: Stop saying that!

Trump leaps from the turnbuckle and pursues Harris around the ring.

As Trump chases Harris back inside, Suave leans into his mic.

Johnny Suave: Folks, I’ve seen a lot in my days at PCW, but this… this is unprecedented!

Colleen Crowder: I think I’m going to be sick.

The arena plunges into darkness.

Johnny Suave: Uh oh.

A sinister cackle echoes through the speakers as lightning flashes across the jumbotron.

Johnny Suave: It’s the Supreme Dark Overlord of PCW, Joe Biden!

A hooded figure emerges from billowing smoke, dressed like the political version of Star Wars’ Emperor Palpatine.  His eyes glowing an eerie blue behind a pair of dark sunglasses beneath the cowl. As he raises his gnarled hands and removes the sunglasses, electricity crackles from his eyes.

A bolt of political force energy shoots from Biden’s eyes. Trump ducks, the electricity sizzling past his ear and hitting a hot dog vendor in the aisle behind him incinerating him instantly.

J.D. Vance scrambles, grabbing a nearby mirror and tossing it to Trump. Trump catches the mirror just as another bolt flies towards him. He angles the glass, deflecting the energy. It ricochets, striking Kamala Harris. Her pants ignite in blue flames.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Colleen Crowder: My God! Her pants are on fire!

Johnny Suave: Hmmm… I seem to remember a certain phrase that ends with ‘pants on fire.’

Colleen Crowder: That’s not funny!

Harris shrieks, desperately patting at the flames. Tim Walz rushes to her aid.

Biden’s eyes unleash a second bolt of political force energy.  Again, Vance deflects this one into the path of Tim Walz who stumbles into its path. His own trousers burst into flames.

Colleen Crowder: JOE!  STOP!

Johnny Suave: It’s pandemonium in the ring! We’ve got flaming politicians everywhere!

Trump seizes his chance. As Harris flails, trying to extinguish herself, he lunges forward. In one fluid motion, he wraps his arms around her waist and rolls her up from behind.

Referee Davey Keels drops to the mat. “One!”

The crowd roars.

“Two!”

Trump grits his teeth, using all his strength to keep Harris pinned.

“Three!”

The bell rings. Trump releases his hold, staggering to his feet as the realization hits him.

Johnny Suave: HE’S DONE IT!

On the stage, Biden’s lips curl into a satisfied smirk. His work here is finished. He turns, disappearing into the shadows as quickly as he arrived.

Kimber Marshall makes it official.

Kimber Marshall: Your winner and new CEO of PCW… DONALD TRUMP!

The arena erupts. Vance, Musk, Ramaswamy, RFK Jr., Gabbard, and Shanahan flood the ring, lifting Trump onto their shoulders in triumph.

Colleen Crowder: I can’t believe it!

Crowder gasps, her professional facade cracking.

Colleen Crowder: Harris was on fire… literally!

Johnny Suave: And she lost.

Colleen Crowder: And she lost.

Johnny Suave: Colleen, looks like Trump just fired Harris from the top job!

Colleen Crowder: Stop rubbing it in.

Suave turns to his co-commentator, his voice thick with emotion.

Johnny Suave: We’ve witnessed history tonight. Donald Trump has become the first person in the PCW era to do what Grover Cleveland once did a hundred years ago- win two non-consecutive terms.  Love him or hate him, Donald Trump is once again at the helm of PCW.

Colleen Crowder: Oh God… no.

As the celebration rages, a commotion erupts at the entrance ramp. New York Governor Kathy Hochul storms out, her face as red as the seats of the American Patriot section as she shrieks into a microphone.

Kathy Hochul: Anyone who supports Donald Trump and this… this travesty is anti-American!

Suddenly, two costumed figures burst from the crowd.

Johnny Suave:��Wait!  Is that… Peanut the Squirrel and Fred the Raccoon?

The anthropomorphic duo charges Hochul, executing a perfect double clothesline that sends her sprawling.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Colleen sighs.

Colleen Crowder: And now Kathy Hochul get taken out by two dead pets!

The crowd’s cheers turn to boos as Jennifer Rubin of the Washington Post rushes the stage, shoving Peanut and Fred to the floor.

Jennifer Rubin: MAGA squirrel deserved to die!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Jennifer Rubin: The media, it must be said, did not fulfill its role in educating the public and advancing truth as their primary objective. Refusal to explore Trump’s manifest defects and place him and his movement in the context of fascist strongmen and their cults had the effect of normalizing and legitimizing a candidate utterly unfit for office. But the facts nevertheless were there for anyone who cared to look. At some point, voters are responsible for their own decisions.

The crowd’s roar intensifies as Dawn McGill’s entrance music hits. The statuesque blonde strides down the ramp, her piercing blue eyes locked on Jennifer Rubin in the ring. Dawn’s tight black dress hugs her curves, leaving little to the imagination.

Dawn sneers at Rubin and snatches a microphone.

Dawn McGill: Well, well, if it isn’t the Washington Post’s resident hack. Jen Rubin, the queen of bad takes herself.

Rubin bristles, her face reddening.

Jennifer Rubin: How dare you! I’m a respected journalist-

Dawn McGill: You’re a joke.

Dawn cuts her off, climbing into the ring. She towers over Rubin, using every inch of her six-foot frame to intimidate.

Dawn McGill: A smug, stuck-up elitist who wouldn’t know real America if it bit you on your Beltway bubble ass.

The crowd erupts in cheers. Dawn basks in their energy, feeling the electricity coursing through the arena.

Jennifer Rubin: Listen here, you silicone-enhanced bimbo.

Rubin jabs a finger at Dawn’s chest.

Jennifer Rubin: I’ve forgotten more about politics than you’ll ever know!

Dawn’s eyes narrow dangerously. In one fluid motion, she grabs Rubin’s wrist and twists, eliciting a yelp of pain.

Dawn McGill: First of all, these are 100% real, honey. Second, you can take your elitist attitude and go *BLEEP* yourself with it.

The censored expletive echoes through the arena, drawing shocked gasps and raucous cheers in equal measure. Dawn releases Rubin’s wrist, shoving her back against the ropes.

Dawn McGill: You need to get out of your ivory tower and see what’s really going on in this country instead of sipping your lattes and writing hit pieces.

Rubin, red-faced and sputtering, stumbles backwards out of the ring. She trips on the bottom rope, nearly face-planting on the floor before catching herself. As she scurries up the ramp, Dawn’s laughter follows her.

Then… of course… Keith Olbermann appears, red-faced and spittle-flecked.

Keith Olbermann: Russian collusion!

Johnny Suave: Oh… no.

Keith Olbermann: It’s all Russian collusion!

Aimee Allen’s Ron Paul Anthem begins to play and the crowd pops.

Wake up! Wake up! Good morning America! Rise and Shine.

Johnny Suave: WAIT A MINUTE!  NO WAY!

Rise and Shine!

A group appears and two drummers lead the procession. Some hold up a sign with a black and white drawing on the side of Ron Paul’s face with ‘Ron Paul-Revolution’ on the bottom.

Ron Paul! Save our constitutional rights Ron Paul! We’re not gonna give up the fight

Johnny Suave: HE’S BACK!

Keith Olbermann: What the- ARRRRRGHHHH!

Olbermann gets pushed off the stage and lands on the floor.

Ron Paul! Start a revolution and break down illegal institutions

Finally Ron Paul himself appears.

Johnny Suave: RON PAUL AND HIS NEW LIBERTARIAN ARMY ARE BACK IN PCW!

Colleen sighs.

Colleen Crowder: Why not?

The parade starts down the ring towards Trump, Musk, and the others.

PCW!… PCW!… PCW!…

[dscarded]

tag drop wee woo 

[talesofsorrowandofruin]

Chazzawrites Challenge Day 25

25. Self-promo time! Share a snippet from your main WIP that you’re proud of.

I love the part in the last chapter of Totentanz book one where I deliberately made it as much of a call-back to part of the prologue as possible.

The snippet from the prologue:

High above them the flare exploded into the shape of an eagle. The signal hung there for hours, able to be seen all through the kingdom. It was even visible in Sólbjǫrgvegr, the dimension Guireth-melaðr-hremón had built for herself when she became a Great Mage.

They waited. And waited. An hour after the flare was lit, an icy wind swept through the palace. It blew open the doors. It tossed aside curtains and tapestries. It chilled everyone to the bone. And when the wind had passed by, a third person stood on the light-tower.

The snippet from the last chapter:

When the day came he walked out onto the platform alone. He lit the fire and threw the books into it. The smoke billowed up until it could be seen from all over the city. Smoke from other fires was visible in the distance; proof that other people were obediently destroying anything that could by any stretch of the imagination be considered heretical. All of that smoke might as well have been a beacon.

An icy wind swept through the palace. It blew open the doors. It tossed aside curtains and tapestries. It knocked over the huge statue in the main temple. It chilled everyone to the bone. And when it was gone, three people stood on the platform.

[i-am-out-of-my-vulcan-mind]

A Team Effort - Chapter 1

Well this has been a long time coming. My dear friend @lurkingwhump​ and myself have finally done a collab project. 

This is a promo tag to 5x05. I have written the first instalment and lurkingwhump has written the second. The second chapter will be up in a short while. 

I have take it upon myself to fill in my @badthingshappenbingo​ bingo square “internal bleeding”. 

Please let us know what you think 🥰

Tasha had gotten back to the bunker over an hour ago, but there was still no sign of Jane or Weller. 

“Maybe I should go and look for them.” she suggested yet again. 

“Not yet.” Patterson said, continuing to search on her computer, “We don’t know what’s happened and we can’t have you go missing too.”

“Exactly!” Tasha replied, fear evident in her voice. “We don’t know what’s happened to them… they could be injured… or someone might have found them…”

Rich tapped his nose. “Or… they’re making up from the fight they had earlier?” 

“Wait, they’re fighting?” Patterson asked, frowning. She looked up over her monitor at Rich, giving him a pointed look. 

He shrugged, before mimicking buttoning his lips closed. 

Patterson squinted at him. She was sick of him keeping secrets from her… wait? Why was everyone going to Rich in the first place? Rich?

There was a short, yet heavy silence, before Tasha spoke up. “I can’t just sit here and wait. I’m going to go find them.” she said jumping to her feet. 

Just as she finished speaking, the elevator started to descend. Patterson followed suit, standing beside her anxious friend. 

“There… see. Safe and sound.”

“Or not…” Tasha whispered when the elevator doors opened and it revealed Jane hunched over, her shirt covered in blood. 

“Jane!” Patterson cried, running forward to support her. “What happened?”

“I ah… I got shot… but it’s just a graze.” Jane said limping to the table, Patterson helping her sit down. 

“You got shot?” Rich asked incredulously. 

“I’m fine.” she ground out. 

“Really?” Rich replies in a disbelieving tone. “Because you don’t look fine, because you’ve been shot!” 

Jane gave him an exasperated look. She didn’t have time for his antics at the moment. 

“Where’s Weller?” Tasha asked, saving her from having to answer Rich.

“They took him.” she muttered. She looked over at Tasha. “After we went our separate ways, I was attacked. During the fight I heard Kurt calling my name. I managed to knock the guy out and I ran back to Kurt, but they already had him. He was unconscious… they put him into a black SUV.”

“Ok, ok, black SUV, black SUV.” Patterson mumbled, sitting back in front of her computer. “I’ll try and hack the cameras around the area…” she said looking at Jane, “For now though… go clean yourself up.” she said in a softer tone. 

Jane nodded her head in agreement. Her main priority was finding Kurt and if they knew how bad her wound truly was, the focus would turn onto her. No, she needed them to keep thinking it was just a graze for as long as possible. 

0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°

“I can’t believe this! So far this SUV has avoided every camera that we have managed to hack into! I am so sick of not having my actual lab!” Patterson cried, her voice laced with frustration. 

“Ok… so what’s next?” Jane asked, blinking heavily, black spots starting to dance across her vision. She had patched herself up quickly and returned to the others, though the wound seemed to be a lot worse than she had initially anticipated. She was bleeding heavily, and she was guessing she was also bleeding internally. She knew that she was fading fast, but she needed to ignore her own affliction in order to save Kurt. 

Rich and Patterson looked at her, at a loss for words. How do you tell your friend that you can’t find their husband… that there might not be any hope left?

Tasha spoke up softly. 

“There is no next…”

Jane’s eyes widened in disbelief. There was no way they were giving up now!

“We’ve lost him… at least for now.” Tasha continued. “All we can do is change where we are. I know that Weller is strong, but he is still human. If they manage to get anything out of him, we are sitting ducks down here. We need to abandon the bunker. Now.” 

Pain flared in her abdomen, causing Jane to clutch at her side, her eyes falling closed as a wave of dizziness washed over her. Her ears started ringing as the darkness rose to swallow her whole. 

“There’s gonna be a problem with that…” she slurred before her world went black and she collapsed onto the floor with a thud. 

“Jane!” Rich cried out as Patterson and Tasha rushed to her side. Tasha lifted her shirt quickly, inspecting her wound. 

“This is not a graze.” she said, glancing at the other’s in horror. She shared a look with Patterson. This was bad. 

“I’m fine! I’m fine!” Jane breathed, though her voice cracked from the pain. “Look Kur- Kurt is the priority… we have to get him back before…”

“No no no no no.” Patterson cut her off. “You’re the priority. Ok?” she said before pressing down on the wound to try and slow the bleeding. 

“There’s no exit wound, but with this much blood, the bullet must be pressing up against something… an artery or an organ.” Tasha said, looking up at Rich. 

“We’ve gotta get her to a hospital or at least a very shady veterinarian!” Rich cried out, watching Jane gasping in pain. He had never seen someone who was still alive, look so dead. How had they not noticed how serious her injury truly was?

“No, no!” Jane ground out through clenched teeth. “We can’t risk me or anyone else getting caught right now.” she closed her eyes and took a sharp breath through her nose. “We’re doing the surgery here.” she finished, giving Patterson a pleading look. 

“I’m sorry... surgery?” Rich exclaimed in alarm. 

“Ok let’s prep!” Patterson said, not wasting a moment. “We don’t have much time.”

Tasha nodded in agreement. 

“Rich you stay with Jane while we get things ready.” she said, getting to her feet. 

“Hold pressure here.” Patterson ordered, signalling for Rich to quit hovering and actually do something useful. 

He dropped down to his knees, hesitantly replacing Patterson’s hands. He pressed down on Jane’s abdomen, almost jumping back a foot when she cried out in pain. 

“I’m sorry Jane.” he said softly, placing his hands back on her stomach. “You should have told us… why didn’t you tell us?”

Jane forced her eyes open, staring weakly up at Rich. 

“Kurt…” was all she managed to get out. 

Rich nodded in understanding, continuing to apply pressure to her wound. 

Her breathing had picked up and Rich could see her deteriorating before his eyes. 

“Guys!?” he called down the hallway, where he knew the others were prepping in the infirmary. 

Tasha ran to his aid, swallowing anxiously at the puddle of blood pooling on the floor. 

“Oh god…” She and Rich shared a look. Their time was running out. “Let’s get her off the floor.” She bent down and pulled Jane’s left arm around her neck, Rich doing the same on her right. Together they guided her to her feet. 

Jane couldn’t help the cry of pain that escaped through her clenched teeth from the change in position. Gravity did not agree with her. The moment she was vertical, her vision started to swim again, nausea bubbling up her throat. She leaned heavily on her friends. 

“Come on Jane.” Tasha urged. “It’s just up the hallway. It’s not far.”

Jane moaned in pain, though her expression was one of determination. 

“Should you be doing this much lifting in your condition?” Rich muttered at Tasha. 

“Rich. Shuttup.” Tasha warned, though their conversation was falling on deaf ears. Jane’s only focus was making it to the infirmary without passing out. 

They took it one painful step at a time, before rounding the corner into the small infirmary. Jane noted they had already put a fresh set of blue sheets on the medical table. 

They lay Jane gently on the table, Rich moving straight away to reapply pressure to her wound. 

Tasha got to work starting an IV, while Patterson continued to sterilise their surgical equipment. 

“Here.” Patterson said, passing a few packets of gauze to Rich. He opened them silently, placing them on top of the blood soaked bandage that Jane had slapped on there earlier. 

“It’s going to be ok…” he said softly, seeing the fear in her eyes. “Though I still think we should be getting her to a hospital.” he said, directing the second part to Patterson. 

Patterson gave him an incredulous glare. 

“No!” Jane shouted. “We can’t risk it. We do it here or not at all.”

“Ok… ok… I’m sorry. I’m just not overly comfortable about the fact that we are performing surgery in a dusty old bunker with no medical training whatsoever.” Rich replied, his voice rising an octave.

“And I’m not overly comfortable with her getting caught by Madeline and not getting any medical attention at all!”

“Guys stop it!” Tasha yelled. “We don’t have time for this.” She turned back to the freshly inserted IV line and connected it to a bag of saline. “I’m all set here.” she said, moving to help Patterson finish. 

“It’s a good thing we inventoried all of this.” Patterson said, looking at their basic set of surgical equipment. 

Tasha moved off to wash her hands as best as possible, before donning a pair of gloves. She opened some more gauze pads before relieving Rich of his position beside Jane. She started cleaning down the wound with saline, apologising softly at Jane’s groans of pain. 

Patterson finished sterilising everything and quickly scrubbed her hands, following Tasha’s example and putting on a pair of gloves. 

“Rich, can you go and get the ether and the mask out of the supply closet?” Patterson asked, coming over to inspect the wound more closely now that Tasha had cleaned it off. 

“Whatever happens, promise me you’ll find Kurt.” Jane said weakly. 

“We will.” Patterson replied sincerely. “I promise.”

Jane blinked heavily, her breathing becoming shallow. Her head lolled to the side, before her eyes rolled into the back of her head. 

“Jane!” Tasha gasped, shaking her shoulders, trying to rouse her. 

“What happened?” Rich exclaimed, coming back into the room with the ether and a mask. 

“She’s fainted again.” Patterson said urgently. 

“What can I do?” Rich asked. He needed to help. He couldn’t just sit there and do nothing while a member of his family was dying. 

“Get the ether ready.” Patterson ordered. They were running out of time. 

“Jane? Can you hear me?” Tasha called. Jane groaned in response, her face screwed up in pain. “That’s right. Come back.” Tasha sighed in relief. 

“I’m going to give you some morphine.” Patterson said, then we will start administering the ether. 

She injected the morphine into Jane’s IV line, before taking the ether bottle and mask off of Rich. 

“Everything’s going to be ok Jane.” Rich piped up. 

“Just find Kurt.” Jane grunted. 

“On it.” Rich replied. He knew he couldn’t help her here, so he left the room to search back through the camera feeds for her husband. 

“Right… are we ready?” Patterson asked, sharing a nervous look with Tasha. Were they really about to do this?

“Just do it… please.” Jane pleaded. She was running out of time and she knew it. 

“Ok, ok.” Patterson said, placing the mask over her face. It was made of wire, with a hinge that allowed them to put a piece of cloth in between and then clamp it shut. She dripped the ether onto the cloth. “Breathe it in.” Patterson instructed softly. “As deeply as you can.”

Jane grimaced, groaning at the sudden sick feeling in her belly. 

“Jane? You ok?”

She swallowed convulsively.  “Just a little nauseous.” she rasped out, breathing through her nose in short, sharp gasps. 

“You need to breathe it in Jane.” Patterson urged. “I know it’s making you feel sick, but I can’t have you awake for this.”

Jane complied, breathing past the sickness and the pain. 

‘Oh Kurt.’ she thought sadly. ‘What were they doing to him?’

She needed him here. She was just as scared for his health as she was for her own. She was about to have surgery… on her abdomen… in a bunker… by someone who was not a surgeon… or even a doctor for that matter. This was so incredibly dangerous.

She continued breathing in the ether, her consciousness slowly fading away, until everything was black. 

0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°0°

“I’ve found him!” Rich said, rushing into the infirmary. 

The surgery had been a success and Jane’s vitals were remaining strong. 

Tasha looked up from where she had been checking Jane’s blood pressure. 

“Give me the coordinates. I’ll go and get him.” she said, putting the digital monitor down. 

“Wha- by yourself?” he asked, his eyebrow rising in a pointed expression. 

Tasha stonewalled. 

“Why? Are you going to come?” 

“Well… no but…” he stuttered. 

“Exactly. You can’t come and Patterson needs to stay here and keep an eye on Jane. Give me the coordinates.” she said again. 

“You’re scary.” Was all Rich replied, handing over a piece of paper. 

“I’ll see you soon.” Tasha said, before leaving the infirmary. 

Patterson watched after her worriedly. She was right though. What choice did they have?

“How’s she doing?” Rich asked, moving closer into the room. Jane was still unconscious. Truth be told she looked awful. If it wasn’t for the soft rise and fall of her chest, he would have mistaken her for a corpse. 

“She’s holding strong.” Patterson replied. 

Rich sighed in relief. 

“How long until she wakes up?”

Patterson shrugged. 

“I’m not too sure to be honest. She’s lost a lot of blood. I don’t know how long the effects of the ether will last.”

Just as she finished speaking, she noticed Jane’s eyes squeeze shut, a pained groan escaping from the back of her throat. 

Patterson reached for the syringe of morphine and a sedative and injected them both into Jane’s IV. Within seconds, the creases in her face smoothed back out. 

“She should sleep for a few hours now.” Patterson said. “Hopefully Tasha and Kurt will be back by then…” she added trailing off. 

Rich could only respond by nodding. He took the empty seat on Jane’s other side, keeping vigil over his friend. He hesitantly reached out and took her hand.

Patterson gave him a surprised look at the action. 

Rich shrugged. “...until Kurt gets here…” he mumbled, keeping his eyes locked on Jane.

“They’re gonna be ok.” Patterson promised. “All of them.” she added for measure. She only hoped that she was right. They couldn’t survive losing another member of their team. ‘Please hurry.’ she urged Tasha. They all needed to be together again. 

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Love, Maybe? {40}

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Cursing, Heavy Angst

Word Count: 2.3K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. Three years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

NOTE: **Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought. 

**Loosley Edited/Proofread**

**Interactive**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊❤❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 40: The Show Must Go On

-Vixen-

 “You may get knocked down fifty times but you better get up fifty-one, sugar.”

 Your grandmother’s words were the fuel for you that morning. You woke up before the sun rose and jogged five miles. Thankfully where you were staying was still private probably thanks to it being a gated community. You ran like your life depended on it, ran like someone was chasing you, ran like your very existence was threatened. When you were tired you pushed yourself, when you wanted to stop you forced yourself to keep going. On this run it was then you vowed to not let this new setback keep you down. You hadn’t gotten where you were today by letting punches keep you down.

 By the time you returned to shower the sun was up as was Ella. Your mother was in the kitchen preparing her breakfast. When you walked in she watched you, assessing if it was safe for her to begin.

 “Good morning mom.”

 “Good morning. Up early I see.”

 “Yep, early bird gets the worm, plus I have things to do,” you informed.

 “Here, have some oatmeal.” She put a bowl on the counter and waited for you to sit. Deciding it was smarter to appease then object you sat and plopped Ella beside you.

“Thank you.”

 You took a few bites and moaned. Ella joined in as well. Silence filled the kitchen, but you could hear the unspoken questions. You knew it was a matter of time.

“Vixen. How are you?” Her inquisitive tone held a deeper question, you could hear it.

 “I’m good.” It was a bold face lie and you knew she knew it. She didn’t acknowledge it though.

 “Vixen. How are you?” Flaring your nose you looked at her with a blank expression then smiled.

 “I’m good, mom.” You held her gaze and kept the smile on your face. She hummed then walked away. The clink of her heels on the floor stopped momentarily.

 “One day you’re going to have to stop lying to yourself. One day you will have to face your feelings. That day is nearing my precious girl.”

 She continued to walk, and you felt like she’d just uttered a curse on you. Shaking it off you focused on breakfast with Ella.

 After cleaning up the mess she’d made and given her a quick bath you checked messages that only had to do with work. you set up a meet with Kassius motivated to get back on track. You were not going to let this thing take over. You found the best outfit that screamed taking control and made your move to leave. As you were getting into your car Nex ran out to you with a tight hug.

 “What is this for?”

 “I’m here for you Vix, no matter what, no matter when. I am here. Just remembered that sometimes our strengths are also our weaknesses.” She placed a sweet kiss on your cheek and walked back inside. You glared at her back, that was not what you needed to hear right now. It was the last thing.

Sitting in front of Kassius forty minutes later neither of you spoke for several long minutes. He scrolled through his tablet with a pensive look on his face. A look that you couldn’t decipher. You couldn’t tell if he were angry, regretting his decision to bank on you, wishing he could nix the contract or what. Your leg began bouncing up and down as you flexed your finger bending it back and forth letting your joint pop in and out, these were your nervous ticks, ticks that you’d learned to control over the years but they flared up every now and then.

 Kassius sighed and flipped the cover of his tablet shut before he looked at you.

 “Eventful few days huh.”

 You busted out laughing. You shouldn’t have laughed; this was no laughing matter but laugh you did. A full minute passed where you heartily laughed. You felt like it had been weeks since you had when in fact it had been just a day or two. When you finally stopped Kassius still sat there with a small smirk on his face, but he looked like he wasn’t shocked.

 “I’m sorry. I have no idea why I laughed. This is not funny.”

 “It’s okay. I get it. The body’s response to stress can be humor. Perfectly normal, don’t worry about it.”

 You slowly breathed out and nodded.

 “How are you holding up? If I know anything about paparazzi they are relentless.”

 “You have no fucking idea.”

 “I’m fine, thank you.”

 “Are you really? From everything I’ve seen this is a big deal. This isn’t just some actor; this is Chris Evans,” he reiterated.

 You took in a shuddered breath and slowly let it out.

 “I would understand if you weren’t fine. I would understand if you were far from it.”

 “I’m--.”

 “Fine,” Kassius finished. He sighed and leaned closer on his desk.

 “Vixen, at this point we’re in this together. I need to know every surprise, everything to expect. This is your business I get it. I just don’t want any more surprises.”

 “I know. Kassius I didn’t know about this. It was just a shock to me as it was to you. I didn’t know we were still married. We met in Vegas got married drunk and the rest is everywhere,” you confessed.

 Kassius nodded and circled his thumbs.

 “I see. So our predicament is how do we move forward. Theoretically, they say no press is bad press so--.”

 “No, we’re not doing that. I see where you’re going and I’m gonna stop you there. I don’t want to use anything about him or this during this promo for the restaurant. We’re staying clear away from this.”

 Kassius studied you for a few moments then nodded and leaned back in his chair. “Okay. You have my word we won’t use this.”

 You nodded and breathed a sigh of relief.

 “We won’t use it but because it is already everywhere there is no way around it. they know who you are, they know what is happening. They will be around. We won’t play it up but that doesn’t mean there won’t be any association.”

 You understood. He meant that the paparazzi would use it and not necessarily be kind or gentle.

 “In light of things it wouldn’t hurt if you took a few days to lay low and work through this,” Kassius suggested.

 “No. That’s not necessary. I don’t need to take any time. We should keep moving forward. We’re close to the goal, let’s get there.”

 Again, Kassius studied you. he looked concerned but also slightly impressed.

 “Okay. Full force ahead.”

 The next hour went by where he went over the plan for the remaining weeks of construction, renovation, and promotion. He also gave you great news that Food Network sent over a preliminary contract for partnership with them. Turns out the video of your shoot slash impromptu cooking session was posted to YouTube and it got their attention. They loved it. So now you had the restaurant to look forward to and a Food Network show. You couldn’t believe how the tides of your life had changed.

 By midday, you pulled up to your restaurant to find a sea of paparazzo camped outside. Your jaw dropped as you surveilled any way to get inside without being seen. There was none, even the service entry was in plain sight. You sat there having a minor freak out moment as you realized you had to face this now. After almost ten minutes you got out of the car and walked toward the restaurant. Halfway across the street one of them saw you and approached shouting his question.

 “Vixen, Vixen anything to say to the world as Mrs. Evans? Anything to say to those who have said you’re a gold digger?”

 You clenched your jaw and focused on pushing through them. The sea of them was strong, like an ocean current.

 “Anything to say to rumors that you intentionally trapped Chris with this baby?”

 “Excuse me! Move!”

 Finally, you pushed through to the door and rushed inside locking it behind you before you did you caught one last question.

“Vixen, would you say you’re his black woman fetish he has to play through?” 

You stood there and watched them snap pictures and shout outside the glass. The shock of the question enveloped you. This was a nightmare, an insane nightmare you thought. Your anger was the only fuel you needed for the rest of the day. You busied yourself any way you could. You worked with the design team that was already there and completed the rest of your to-do list for the day. Your phone continuously dinged to inform you that you had a new message and all you did was ignore it. You didn’t have the time or patience for anything that began with C and ended with S or anyone who wanted to bring him up.

 By eleven, most of the installation was completed as were the concrete plans for the design. You were the last one there. Standing in the middle of the dining area you slowly spun around. You could envision what it would look like when it was all said and done. You were so close you could see the finish line. So close and then you could go back to San Francisco. Another sigh left you when the realization that San Francisco may be getting further and further away especially now with Food Network in the mix. Your thirst for success may be the double-edged sword that forever connected you to this place—the land of the fake.

 A knock at the door signaled the arrival of your security. Things were so insane you now needed security to get from your business to your car. This felt like some alternate universe. Once you stepped out onto the sidewalk the flash of the camera bulbs was more prominent and blinding. The two burly men surrounded you from both sides and guided you through the swarm of vermin.

 From your normal life in San Fran when you looked through tabloid magazines you didn’t think about how it really was for those who were hounded. It was an afterthought that it must have been tough and such an invasion of privacy but now that you’d experienced it, you didn’t know how any of them did it. After an agonizing minute, you were in your car stepping hard on the gas and getting the hell out of there.

  -Chris-

 “Fuck!”

 He nearly threw his phone across the room. He’d been calling for days and you never answered. He left messages, you never returned them. He texted, no response. Now when he called it went straight to voicemail, he suspected you’d blocked his number. You were distancing yourself and refused to hear him out.

 “Woah, woah, put the phone down and back away,” Mackie said from across the room. He rolled his eyes. He wasn’t in the mood.

 “I’m not in the mood, man. See yourself back out.”

 “Wow, that was a dick thing to say.”

 “Mackie.”

 It was a warning, a warning he was almost certain Anthony wouldn’t heed. He didn’t wait around to see though. He walked to the kitchen and to the bar he had. His alcohol supply was dwindling. Forgoing a glass, he took up the bottle of rum and put it to his head. The burn was a wake-up call. Rum was not his preferred drink but desperate times.

 “Sounds like you’re still going through your dick phase. Only dicks keep a secret from their wives that could implode right in their faces. What the hell man!?”

 He didn’t respond. He stared at the bottle of amber-colored liquid.

 “Come on man. You had to know that it was a bad idea lying about it. You had to know that she would have found out and every day you didn’t tell her would make it that much worse.”

 “I know. Fuck I know! I fucked up. I tried to tell her, so many times. I just—I didn’t know how. Then the closer we got, the more time we spent together I started—I didn’t want to lose her. I thought I just needed time to show her I’m not the same asshole from Vegas, that I was different,” he blurted out before he took another swig of Rum.

 “That is the worst plan I’ve ever heard. Man, you white people always coming up with these elaborate schemes that you swear are genius ideas but are really great piles of horseshit.”

 He kissed his teeth and walked out of the kitchen. He didn’t want to hear this right now.

 “You may not want to hear it bruh, but you need to. You fucked this up. You should have just told her and let the chips fall where they may.”

 He knew everything he was saying was true. He knew it. Part of him said he should have done just that, but the other part won out.

 “I know,” he admitted.

 “So, what are you gonna do to fix this? Nexus is pissed man. She’s not one hundred percent pissed because she knew about the married thing but she’s pissed about not knowing you were still married. Pissed that you lied. Pissed that she liked you and was rooting for you. Should I continue?”

 “You can stop.”

 “So?”

 He thought about it for a minute before he spoke. “I don’t know man, I call her, she doesn’t answer. She is pissed,” he explained.

 “Rightfully so. So what are you gonna do about it?”

 “You say it like it’s easy. Like I have so many options.”

 “You do. You’re Chris fucking Evans, mega rich, so many things at your disposal.”

 “I can’t money my way out of this. She’s not like that and you know it.”

 “Good answer. Thank god that dick persona knows where not to go. That was a test. You passed.”

 “I don’t want to lose her Anthony; I don’t want to lose my family. I had some sort of epiphany in Boston, some sort of vision of what really mattered, what I really wanted, and I only want her and Ella, this fame shit—keep it. I want her, over everything.”

 Antony stared at him, assessing his body language and face, then he nodded.

 “Then go get em’, man.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TagList:

@airis-paris14 @thiccdaddy-mbaku @wakandas-vibranium @wakanda-inspired @theunsweetenedtruth @ashanti-notthesinger @reignsxjackson @halfrican-heat @ambthegamer @simplyyamberr  @muse-of-mbaku @sisterwifeudaku @mejustme06  @ilcb7 @leahnicole1219  @destinio1 @maliadestiny @drsunshine97 @blowmymbackout @purplehairgawdess @thehuntoyobun @wakandamama @wakandawinning @profilia @zxddy-panther @h-challa @babygirlofwakanda @misswakanda2018 @ororowrites@hutchj @myfavemarvelfanfics @lavitabella87 @afraiddreamingandloving @autumn242 @purple-apricots @skysynclair19 @hersheyskissesss-blog @blue-ishx @90sinspiredgirl @tchallaswife @tchallamakesmeh0lla @turn-thy-paige @blackchickfics @blackpantherismyish @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @naturally-bri @flawlesslybeautiful14 @qweentbh@lunaerly @theoutereffect@twilight-sapphire-lover @pupyluv247 @stark-red19 @cockyboysandsugarism@maverickabull @madbadsiren @aykanna @myaw731 @ruruly20 @mixedmelanin @brittyevans @bezzywazhere@laketaj24  @soulsparker @theresnomoregoodones @syreanne@loveandcigarillos @heyauntieeee @heybriheyyy @wakanda-bcth @uhlxis  @maliadestiny @dadinhas-heat @yaachtynoboat711 @geeksareunique @bultalongthewayside @ajspencer1892 @captiansaveasmut @imaginewhoever @terrablaze514 @starsshines-blog @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @darkandlovely94 @sithlordslut @wavyyc @naturalistamisslyn @nigarachi15 @madamslayyy @blackandfair @kreolemami @mylastnameisthe-fish @kaykay0829@chaneajoyyy @tequilajay27 @blacklotus-of-the-black-kingdom @slimmiyagi @im5ftbutmythroat66 @jaeee-http@madhatterhelsing @sunflowerpsalms @wakanda-shit-is-that @deliciousstreetkidcroissant @jecourt @vebner37 @disneysdarlingdiva @melaninmarvel @alanastormborn@dolphinpink310 @yourwonderbelle  @ohleucothea @queentearra @bitchbetterhavemydinner @fentybabyy @kaykay4454fan @priya212 @kitkit1690 @chrismarcs @beautycomesindifferentformsworld @blackpantherimagines @ovohanna24 @sweetpeachjones @kslo000 @nubian-queen18 @omgsuperstarg  @airis-paris14 @sisterwifeudaku   @mejustme06 @ilcb7 @leahnicole1219 @destinio1 @drsunshine97  @blue-ishx @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @prettyprincessushio @treeondrea  @ursapharoh05  @blackpinup22 @kaytauru @big3gocandykahn @kissingpineapples @wildaboutchrisevans   @fitfineandstayingalive @misspooh @michele-onel @gorjiss @blacklotus-of-the-black-kingdom @muva-milaje @limbo-limbo-limbo @awkwardlyabstract @blxck-brxndie  @meeky-imagines @inlovewith3 @metalarmlover @mellowjellow6 @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @thatrandomhetaliachick @missdeerstalker15 @ursapharoh05 @treeondrea @ovohanna24 @marvelheaux @romanceoftheeveryday @mufasathatniggatho @cltex84 @sweetbearcolorgarden @msincognito67 @mosagram @lunaerly @mar-ta-3 @ljstraightnochaser @lewatigress @akimi-youngblood @bekahdean87 @jasmindaughteroftheworld @cocooned-butterfly @emoniclark22 @chereedrop619 @theblulife @niggarachi15 @drsunshine97 @msincognito67 @missdeerstalker15 @wakandamama  @avenger-marvel-fan @arieljamiyla @vibranium-soul @monae-boss @queenxchallaxkillamonger@amirra88 @jaeee-http @omg-itsnadi @fonville-designs @sydneebleu @cherrystainedlipsbaby @behindthesehazeleyes27 @areubeingserved  @kelbabyblue @academic-glowup  @patzammit @yourwonderbelle @pennywisesmistress @squeackygee @noramushrooms @titty-teetee @ab-baybay @kreolemami @impossiblegiantrebelbasketball @dangerouslovefanfic @heladoom @renesmeeharelds @zaddysqueen7 @alyxkbrl @hello-therree @taylorveebee @a-dizzle777 @deidrashouseofpain @coldmuffinbanditshoe  @evemej  @chaselovinggert @ben-wyxtt @designerwriterchic @chrisgalore @jennmurawski13 @rynabarnesrogers @yunggyeezyy @kemkem101 @dearkyrainez @minton131@momobaby227 @jesseswartzwelder @briellableu @browneyes9125 @mjey12

[reidbrod657]

Nhs England" Dealing With Respiratory System Problems In Winter

See to it your kids receive age-appropriate inoculations, including the flu and also COVID shots. Most of the source of environment change likewise raise the risk of pandemics. Deforestation, which occurs mainly for farming objectives, is the largest cause of environment loss worldwide. Loss of environment pressures pets to move and possibly get in touch with other animals or people as well as share germs. Huge animals farms can additionally serve as a source for overflow of infections from animals to people.

It's an excellent suggestion to speak to a general practitioner for guidance before beginning a brand-new workout program if your signs are severe or you have actually not exercised in a while. If you smoke, stopping can help reduce or prevent additional damages to your lungs. It is necessary to take any recommended medicine, including inhalers, as this can assist stop negative flare-ups. 2) Promo of enrollment of healthcare institutions with the EU's Eco-Management and Audit Scheme or equal body.

Consequently, the general impact of environment change on respiratory infections is likely to be moderate and may also be helpful. Nonetheless, as increases in air contamination will certainly happen, increasing susceptibility to infections may result. Although international methods are required in order to reduce the rise in worldwide temperatures, environment change is likely to have several, mostly damaging, results on health and wellness, specifically in low-income nations, which require attention and action. These findings have been well described by the Intergovernmental Panel on Environment Change 1 and the Globe Health Organization 2. We do not understand much about the molecular mechanisms underlying respiratory cold-related signs and symptoms, yet a role appears played by the receptor TRPM8. The exploration of thermosensitive ion networks of the short-term receptor potential household has actually shown an underlying molecular device for temperature level discovery.

In relation to direct exposure, we will take into consideration the various risk aspects connecting with chilly temperature level and also cooling such as other atmospheric variables, air pollution, biocontaminants and also cigarette cigarette smoking, and also their impact on respiratory system wellness.

It's an excellent suggestion to talk to a GP for recommendations prior to beginning a new workout program if your signs are extreme or you have not exercised in a while.

Federal, state, as well as regional firms can sustain public health management and also science, we can supply even more funding for needed research, very early feedback to outbreaks, and supplies for testing.

Where and just how you live can greatly affect the extent of your COPD symptoms.

When you are subjected to extreme weather, such as Net Zero Insulation - insulation removal severe warmth as well as humidity, your body has to make use of additional energy to attempt and cool off. The Obama administration introduced a collection of actions that will certainly permit the United States to better comprehend, interact, and decrease the health impacts of environment change on neighborhoods. This is a truth sheet outlining President Obama's plan to cut carbon pollution, prepare the United States for the influence of climate adjustment, and also lead worldwide initiatives to attend to worldwide environment modification.

Exactly how I take care of heat Find out exactly how Ian takes care of to maintain going in a heatwave. To get ready for a heatwave, it's an excellent concept to set up email signals for hot weather. In this manner, you'll understand when it's anticipated to be warm as well as you can see the length of time the heat will certainly last.

Lung Illness & Respiratory System Health Center

Breathing cold air has actually been long acknowledged to trigger bronchoconstriction in asthmatics. In a classical experiment Shturman-Ellstein et al. demonstrated that if topics with bronchial asthma took a breath only through the nose throughout the exercise difficulty, a nearly full restraint of the blog post exercise bronchoconstrictive air passage reaction was observed. Nonetheless, as the nose is acting as outermost filter for the inspired air, it is revealed to ecological dangers with following high frequency of morbidity. Including in the atopic predisposition, it is most likely that asthmatic subjects have concomitant rhinitis, which does not permit appropriate conditioning of the inspired air with adverse influence on the asthmatic condition.

Future threats are challenging to prophesy, yet climate modification hits hard on several fronts that matter to when as well as where microorganisms appear, including temperature level as well as rainfall patterns. To assist restrict the risk of contagious illness, we should do all we can to vastly lower greenhouse gas exhausts and also limitation worldwide heating to 1.5 degrees. Ground-level ozone, or "poor ozone," can be the most dangerous for individuals coping with asthma. Ground-level ozone is developed by a chain reaction between nitrogen oxide as well as organic substances when revealed to sunlight. These can include exhausts from commercial facilities, automobile exhaust and also gas fumes.

Weather And Also Your Lungs

5) Study is needed on the function of housing and interior environment control systems in respiratory system diseases. If a heatwave is forecast, the best part of the day is typically between 11am as well as 3pm. If you need to go out, try to intend your day around the early morning or evening when the temperature is cooler as well as the air high quality much better. Li MC, Juliy M. Duty of phosphorylation of MARCKS-PSD in the secretion of MUC5AC induced by cold temperatures in human airway epithelial cells National Life sciences Structure of China and China Cooperation Research Study Foundation 2012--. The last team lastly consists of response bronchoconstriction as a result of chilly trigger of the skin or top airway.

Effects Of Interior Air Contamination

Airborne transmission might have contributed in the spread of 2015 extremely pathogenic avian flu outbreaks in the United States.Researchers have actually found that a number of infections, including adenovirus and also influenza virus, can be carried on air fragments. This recent paper locates that particle matter most likely contributed to the spread of the 2015 bird flu. Support for adaptation in low resource countries by wealthier countries is a historic ecological justice challenge. While the $100 billion vowed to the UN's Green Climate Fund annually by 2020 can be viewed as a "ethical vital" feedback, these adaptation financial investments also boost global ecological and political stability as well as safety. Stay clear of strenuous tasks, hard work and also reduce the quantity of exercises throughout these times. You can additionally decrease the quantity of bloating you obtain from these as well as other foods by decreasing at mealtime.

We hypothesize that temperature-related differences in lung feature might be explained by behavioral modifications on relatively cozy days, which might raise outdoor exposures. This details uses the very best available medical proof as well as was produced with the support of people living with lung problems. In recent years, driven by financial as well as environmental inspirations, thermally protected buildings, where indoor environment problems are carefully controlled by ventilation and also cooling systems are most regularly developed.

Net Zero Insulation Inc

45 Edward St, London, ON, N6C 3H3, Canada

+1-519-914-6380

[memoistore]

Front Row @ Michael Kors Collection Fall 2020

Michael Kors Collection held his Fall 2020 runway show on Wednesday (February 12) in front of a packed front row during New York Fashion Week.

Blake Lively: Proving that her promo tour for ‘A Simple Favor’ wasn’t just a fluke, the actress continued to showcase her flare for tailoring in this Michael Kors Collection look sans blazer.  I feel that the scarf and the vest are at odds here.  Mixing prints can work, but I’m not feeling it on this occasion.

Issa Rae:  You can never have too many ruffles – that’s not entirely true – but I’m going to run with it in this case for the ‘Insecure’ actress, as she looked radiant in green Michael Kors Collection.  Bold colour has always worked in the favour.  Rainbow hues do too, but I love how refined this particular look is, as I divert my eyes way from the bag.

Halston Sage: Ah gingham. The print that signals spring is in the air.  They say mixing gingham hues is the coolest way to wear the print these days, but I’m all for working a classic, but in a chic way like Halston, who added plenty of flare via her lemon accented sandals.

Logan Browning:  I was just taking about trench coats last week, and how the classic trench now sits alongside many new and cool variations, as showcased by the actress. She makes this puffy shouldered Michael Kors Collection piece work, by keeping everything else simple.

Alexandra Daddario:  I have become so used to seeing Alexandra Daddario wearing a bold lip or dramatic cat-eyes, that I honestly didn’t recognise her as a fresh faced beauty here.  The outfit also threw me, as the actress loves a smoldering look as we’ve seen at the ‘Nomis’ LA Film Festival Premiere, the ‘Why Women Kill’ LA Premiere  and the ‘Can You Keep A Secret?’ LA Screening.  On this occasion she was serving up simple, colourful Michael Kors Collection staples that were both elegant and chic.

Justine Skye: With her honey-colour hair, the singer was also presenting a whole new woman in this Michael Kors Collection keyhole dress which I love, but I don’t think I can ever get on board with shoes that have an ankle strap that wide.

Kelsea Ballerini:  The country singer was channeling her inner Charlotte York uptown girl in this pretty floral Michael Kors Collection dress with polka dot pumps.  I love how the studded bag gave this look an edge.

Harley Viera-Newton:  You’ll always find Harley front row at Michael Kors, as she represents the lady-like, all-American elegance so well in this mixed polka dot dress.

Dove Cameron: This striped suit feels a bit tame by her standards.

Credit: Getty/Michael Kors

from Red Carpet Fashion Awards https://ift.tt/3ahcb4t via IFTTT

[choosingfreedom-a]

tag dump.

[xpwewarchive]

XPWEW Friday Night Pyro (8-7-2020)

XPWEW Friday Night Pyro Date: August 7th, 2020 Episode: 438 Channel: VICE TV @ 10PM EST

- XPWEW International Champion Jake Awesome enters the ring accompanied by Siaka Lexoni, Chrissy Rivera, XPWEW Tag Team Champs Myron Reed & Kotto Brazil & XPWEW Juniorweight Champion Jordan Oliver of The Set (GG is already in the ring. this show gets the match going right out the gate.) 1 on 1 M1: Jake Awesome (w/ Lexoni, Rivera, Myron Reed, Kotto Brazil & Jordan Oliver) def. GG

- After the match: Jake Awesome addresses "Ruckus is not here tonight because he's relocating a home for himself and his family after that breathing, walking, sweating secriment bag of trash Leonard McGraw thought it right to burn his home down on national television. My goal has ALWAYS been to rid McGraw from XPWEW and now he's crossed the line with me! he's crossed the line with The Set and now we will eradicate Leoanrd McGraw from this mortal plane, I would take blissful pleasure in squeezing the life out of that... *a red and white truck enters the stage-way and in the front seat is The All Woman: Tenille Dashwood who pulls up and even bumps the ring as she drives into it, The Set (except Ruckus who isn't here tonight) just stare blankly, Tenille honks the horn and then, All Man jumps out of the back of the truck with a water hose that is spritzing milk. YES! All Man is spraying The Set with a MILK TRUCK right now on Friday Night Pyro! WHAT A MOMENT!!! Jake is soaked, Chrissy Rivera behind him avoiding the milk splash, Kotto and Myron are using their tag team titles as shields from the milk and Jordan Oliver and Siaka are sliding and slipping around, All Woman starts to grab cartons of milk from the crate inside the truck and fling them with speed at Jake and Rivera. After a full minute of non stop spraying; All Man stops to point at the Heatwave logo on the screen to signal a match between him and Jake at the upcoming pay-per-view in just 9 days. Unbelievable! What a perfect segment that obviously took heavy inspiration from the Kurt Angle 2001 segment with The Alliance.

In ring segment: Mandy Leon along with her client Simon Gotch introduce their friend "The Maestro" Drama King (Formerly known as Aiden English in WWE) Drama King enters and just like that they will be known as Drama King & Simon Gotch "The Maestro Marauders"

Tag Team Match M2: Simon Gotch & Drama King (w/ Mandy Leon) def. 3M3 (3M Ultra & M3 Quintillo)

Backstage segment: Ms. Case Your Luck Lotus is talking to herself looking into a mirror and in a glance she sees a vision of 'Rosemary' haunting her "The devil went down to Heatwave, and she was looking for a briefcase to steal ahahahahahahaha" (very eerie)

- Jake "The Man Scout" Manning enters - Champagne Clausen blindsides him during his entrance and bloodies his nose 1 on 1 M3: Champagne Clausen def. Jake "The Man Scout" Manning After the match - Champagne presses the microphone up to Jake Manning's mouth "Say I'm the best" ...."your" 'SAY IT!" "you're the best" Champagne: Exactly! I am a former world heavyweight champion. Now last week I was rudely interrupted by a promo of a .... [El Demonio promo airs] *lights go black* *El Demonio appears in the ring and kicks the mic out of Champagne's hand* *Champagne goes to clothesline Demonio and misses to which Demonio kicks him and then attempts to grab him but Champagne ducks out of the ring and mocks Demonio* and over commentary Kaitlyn Khaos says it is official these two will go 1 on 1 at Heatwave next Sunday!

Backstage Interview: James Westerbeck is with Garrett Thompson, GT: I know Leonard McGraw very very well, and tonight I'm going to permanently crease his face. Bedlam bucks up at James Westerbeck and laughs when he flinches.

Pre-recorded segment: Joe Gacy and Audrey Carbine of the death machines are told by the psychologist to say something nice about the other (Death machine) Joe Gacy: Something nice? Audrey, you are an overbearing bitch... Audrey: Hmm, Joe..your breath stinks and you're fat and you are the living breathing human incarnation of shit Psychologist: Ok ok ok let's try a different exercise. Joe I would like you to gift Audrey and Audrey I would like you to return the favor? If you could present a gift, what would that be?...Audrey for example you could buy Joe a toothbrush and Joe you could give Audrey um a Snickers bar, perhaps Audrey: I got a gift, how about in 9 days at XPWEW Heatwave. I gift you the ass-kicking that I've been holding back for the past few months... Joe: How about I give you the idea..of making that match, A Ring of Fire match......(camera pans to a 3rd chair in the corner) Troy Clausen: I'll allow it!

- XPWEW Women's Champion Priscilla Kelly joins commentary with Khaos & Nick Simmonds

Tag Team Match M4: Doxy Deity & Thunder Rosa def. Kiera Hogan & Genevalisse

After the match, Doxy calls Priscilla a "lazy champion" so I'll make a challenge to any woman in the world to face me, because I'm the REAL measuring stick in women's professional wrestling today - Tessa Blanchard enters Tessa Blanchard: Doxy, I don't even know who you are and Priscilla you are nothing more than a woman who is overhype and overrated. I'm the best women's wrestler in the world and I'll show Thunder Rosa a thing or two next week when I make my debut. But news flash, ladies the women's division just got better. Because I am Tessa Blanchard and I am undeniable...FOREVER and at Heatwave. I'm the new XPWEW Women's Champion, so stand in my way. I dare you

1 on 1 M5: Myron Reed (w/ Kotto Brazil) def. Alveno La Flare (w/ Golden Bryce)

- Brian Lee enters - Romeo Roselli enters

1 on 1 M6: Romeo Roselli (CYL) def. 911 Brian Lee

- Garrett Thompson enters - Leonard McGraw enters

1 on 1 M7: Leonard McGraw def. Garrett Thompson

After the match a man in a black hoodie that appears to be Ruckus comes out to blindside, McGraw but McGraw snatches him and un-hoods him to be some no-name guy who looks somewhat like Ruckus, but that distraction has McGraw looking at the screen to Ruckus who is in Texas outside McGraw's house with his fiance Ryu inside the home, Ruckus threatens to go inside but says I could be a coward like you a burn this mother****** down right now while you are miles away but I'm a man, I'm gonna wait until you come home. So next week, stay home. and don't call 911 like a coward. Because I'm gonna walk into your home next week on this show and MAKE IT MY HOME. See you next week pimpin...... Show ends with McGraw staring at the tron as Ruckus lurks around McGraw's home miles away in Texas with his fiance Ryu presumably inside

[newtshirtcom]

Pineapple Leinenkugels Summer Shandy beer shirt

Pineapple Leinenkugels Summer Shandy beer shirt

Are you presently wanting to alter the way you look? Has fashion been something you have already been contemplating but simply haven t got enough time to obtain straight down? Nicely look no further, this information is in this article that you can work out how you are able to improve your impression by means of style.

Belts can be quite a great fashion accessory. You should get several straps so that you have diverse shades, designs and fabric from which to choose. Include a vibrant fluorescent belt to a couple of thin bluejeans for any straightforward approach to make the most of a craze, or finish a stylish look using a black colored patent buckle.

Use cropped trousers in the more complementary way by choosing capris, pedal pushers, and bermuda shorts that do not fall with the widest a part of your calf. Opt for pants that end on top of the leg or nearer to the ankle. You need to avoid flared designs to help keep your look streamlined.

Usually do not acquire clothes just since it is on sale. When you don t look really good in it, you ll never wear it once again. You may waste materials your hard earned dollars since you will by no means use it.

Should you wear mascara, will not water pump the remember to brush inside and out of the compartment. This will cause the remember to brush to be broken, and therefore applying your makeup products can become far more of any chore. This action improves harmful bacteria, which you will be putting onto the skin. Move the remember to brush sideways a little bit if you want to get more mascara around the remember to brush.

Don t fall for a fashion tendency whether it doesn t satisfy your structure well. Anyone might be using the latest style gimmick, and you ll attempt to adhere to match. But if the latest type is not really complementary in your actual body, you will only do a design disservice.

There are many alternatives in modern your hair add-ons. You will find hairbands, headbands, elastic owner, bows, extenstions and much more. An strategy of locks extras makes it easier to check wonderful every day–you can forget awful hair days and nights! It is possible to satisfy your scrunchy to the coloration you re sporting, as an illustration. When going away, be sure you take headbands that suit your outfits.

Many people tend not to realize how to dress in a shirt effectively, and it also means they are seem absurd. If you are going to activity a coat, you have to wear it appropriately to check great. You need to remember that the base key on the shirt is not really intended to be buttoned. This may keep you from committing a design combine up.

Since you ve look at this style assistance, you can become modern with out time and effort and cash. Use the suggestions that caught your eyesight to alter increase your look. You ll in the near future see a huge difference every time you appear because vanity mirror.

Go shopping amazing visual tees preferred by way of a network of imaginative and one of a kind makers Pineapple Leinenkugels Summer Shandy beer shirt. You could buy nearly anything online, whether it be your regular groceries or perhaps a new car. There are many internet vendors and auction sites available on the net. Employed or new, everything you purchase are available at a discount. These pointers can help you get the most from your shopping and financial savings online. If you realise a great product on the preferred site, seek out it in a search engine before buying it. Make be aware from the version amount or company, and conduct a quick research to ensure that you can’t have it less costly from in other places. You could possibly help save a few dollars like that. Indicator-up for virtually any identity fraud protection your credit card firm gives, specifically if you buy online frequently. No matter how risk-free you are or how carefully you think you are able to shield your details, it’s never one hundred percent assured. Make the most of intelligent ID defense and know you will have rear-up, if the most severe happen. Turn it into a habit to register for price signals. This goes for purchases that you’ve lately produced. Cost warnings will tell you each time a product or service has lowered into a value you want. And when you’ve lately obtained at whole selling price, you may ask for a cost adjustment to meet the brand new bargain. Generally go through all of the specifics and disclaimers about things that you are currently thinking about getting. On the internet images are frequently misleading. They may offer a product a altered sizing. Make sure you overview all product or service product descriptions as a way to understand what you could possibly actually obtain. Making use of the helpful information which has been explained, you happen to be now all set to go concerning your shopping on the internet. Benefit from the convenience and all of the added advantages that online shopping provides. Whilst you will nonetheless probable carry out some buying in person, you might recognize oneself shifting to produce far more on the web buys.

Pineapple Leinenkugels Summer Shandy beer shirt, Hoodie, V-Neck, Sweater, Longsleeve, Tank Top, Bella Flowy and Unisex, T-Shirt

Classic Ladies

Hoodie

Unisex

Buy Pineapple Leinenkugels Summer Shandy beer shirt

Buying online from the biggest selection of original t-shirt models Pineapple Leinenkugels Summer Shandy beer shirt. Buying has gone via a main revolution previously 10 years. Many people are doing their shopping online. They may be finding more possibilities in offers and products that they would even imagined will be offered. If you wish find out more about shopping online, check this out post. If you want an internet store, subscribe to their e mail distribution list. You will probably receive some coupons and knowledge about deals in your mailbox. Check out these email messages regularly to keep current with good deals and promo provides. Most online stores usually provide free freight or discounts on specific merchandise. A great hint to consider when you’re thinking about shopping on the internet is to make certain the web page is genuine. You don’t want to be providing your visa or mastercard information and facts away to someone who may potentially scam you. Usually glance at the website to inform if it’s skilled and safe for use. By no means try and go shopping right from a link a person sent you within an electronic mail, unless it’s a well regarded and highly regarded website, like Amazon online.com. Too many shoppers get tricked into scams via backlinks in doubtful e-mail. Go to the Website url in the site described within the postal mail, as an alternative to simply clicking the website link itself. Try and make on the web acquisitions only with companies you will be already knowledgeable about. Chances are, a shop you visit on a regular basis possibly carries a risk-free web site. But, if you visit an internet site you already know nothing about, you might be putting your own information, like your bank card info, in danger. Now you know how to proceed, you can start saving money by online shopping. You only need to make use of the suggestions you’ve figured out to save yourself on price of obtain. When you begin to provide up the incentives, you’ll be stoked. A New T-Shirt – Pineapple Leinenkugels Summer Shandy beer shirt Product.

A Comfortable and All Sizes Fit Small!

The post Pineapple Leinenkugels Summer Shandy beer shirt appeared first on New T-Shirts Daily Exclusive, T-Shirts Online Low Prices - NewT-Shirt.Com.

source https://newt-shirt.com/product/pineapple-leinenkugels-summer-shandy-beer-shirt/

[jurassicparkpodcast]

Universal Studios Hollywood News Roundup! Isla Nu Bar, Jurassic World Gates + Bryce, Chris & BD!

Universal Studios Hollywood is getting closer to unveiling the Jurassic World themed area and Jurassic World The Ride in the coming months, but before that happens, we’ve got some decent updates to the progress. We covered all of the details here in Episode 190, featuring The Jurassic Wire. You can listen to that episode and follow along with the content here. So let’s start with the most recent press release from Universal that focuses on the addition of Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard and BD Wong being added to the attraction:

"Universal City, CA, May 23, 2019 – Stars of the JURASSIC WORLD films Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard and BD Wong reprise their roles as Owen Grady, Claire Dearing and Dr. Henry Wu, bringing their characters from the silver screen to Universal Studios Hollywood’s much anticipated mega attraction, “Jurassic World—The Ride,” opening this summer. This marks the first time the cast will appear as their iconic characters outside of the JURASSIC WORLD films for a theme park attraction. As part of original content created exclusively for the new ride, Owen, Claire and Dr. Wu will shed light on their interactions with the dinosaurs along with facts and information about the imposing prehistoric creatures that first roamed the earth more than 65 million years ago. This spectacular new ride will feature an original storyline that will take guests on a breathtaking excursion through the theme park as depicted in Universal Pictures and Amblin Entertainment’s film, JURASSIC WORLD. It will soar to new heights with the addition of iconic dinosaurs from the movie, including the colossal Indominus rex and the magnificent aquatic Mosasaurus in her natural habitat. For the first time, JURASSIC WORLD fans will have the chance to see this impressive creature and become immersed within her massive Aquarium Observatory. Appearing to span over 60 feet in length and tipping the scales at over 30K pounds through stunning state-of-the-art visual effects, the Mosasaurus is a sight to behold as she moves just inches away from guests throughout her glass enclosure filled with the equivalent of 3.5 million gallons of water. Universal Creative collaborated with Industrial Light & Magic (ILM) to bring the Mosasaurus to life and to capture the realism of her underwater environment using a combination of spectacular visual effects and cutting-edge technologies, including the use of motion parallax, a technique that shifts the guest’s perspective of the Mosasaurus as she moves throughout the tank. The team also employed a series of lighting enhancements allowing the aquarium to intuitively shift from day to night, as well as visual changes to the environment during inclement weather, thus creating a variety of visual scenarios guests can experience based on when they experience the ride. “Jurassic World—The Ride” captures the essence of the blockbuster movie and comes to life in collaboration with the award-winning and inspired minds at Universal Creative, the Academy Award®-winning special-effects visionaries at Industrial Light & Magic, a division of Lucasfilm, Ltd., Universal Pictures and acclaimed filmmakers Steven Spielberg, Colin Trevorrow and Frank Marshall. When “Jurassic World—The Ride” opens this summer, guests will be welcomed to a dramatically reimagined space reflective of the hit films. A fresh entry statement, stonework landscaping, and a contemporary redesign of the iconic JURASSIC WORLD gates, illuminated with billowing flames, will create the framework for the all new aesthetics. Once guests pass through the queue, they will board specially designed rafts that will navigate the lush environs of dense vegetation and traverse new areas besieged with towering dinosaurs meandering at just an arm’s length away. Encounters with such docile creatures as the Stegosaurus and Parasaurolophus will quickly turn awry as predatory Velociraptors and Dilophosaurus begin to wreak havoc, turning guests from spectators to prey. When the Tyrannosaurus rex begins to battle one of the attraction’s new ferocious dinosaurs, the rafts will spill down a treacherous 84-foot waterfall as the sole means of escape. Located adjacent to the ride will be a new elaborately themed “Raptor Encounter” where Blue, the beloved Velociraptor from the JURASSIC WORLD franchise, will engage guests in daring face-to-face encounters. In addition, a new interactive “Dino Play” area will incorporate educational components within an inspired space where children of all ages can explore and excavate giant dinosaur fossils."

We been speculating on the podcast that the trio of Bryce, Chris and BD would show up in the attraction in some way. The most obvious inclusion would be in the pre-show video, a la John Hammond in the old Jurassic Park: The Ride queue video. I’d expect familiar looking Lab settings with information on the dinosaurs you’ll come to see on the tour, potentially provided by Claire Dearing and since the Indominus Rex is included in the ride, I’d expect Dr. Wu to be relaying information about dinosaur hybrids at some point. Owen Grady seems like a good fit for the safety instruction portion of the video. On the latest episode of The Jurassic Wire, I brought up a point about wanting to see an Owen Grady animatronic in the “Owen pose”, holding off a few raptor animatronics. Pipe dream, I know, but time will tell.

A few other tidbits in the press release that have me excited, such as the parallax feature giving a bit more life to the Mosasaurus viewing experience. Everyone is worried about more screens being added to another attraction, but from everything I’ve heard, they are seemingly adding much more than your typical screen based attraction experience. We’ve heard rumors about a new type of glass being used to enhance the glass cracking as the Mosasaurus begins it’s attack, now the parallax; let’s just hope it sells the realism. I’ve personally been perplexed about the indoor experience of the Mosasaurus encounter, so I’m glad to hear there are effects being used to replicate the atmospheric conditions. It’s something I haven’t seen before in a theme park attraction, transitioning indoors, but still showcasing the same weather you experienced outside. That would certainly help to sell the experience.

Interestingly, we see the new promo image Owen and Claire running away from the Indominus Rex enclosure, which depicts an alternate version of what actually happened in the film. They added Claire, changed up the proportions and added a bit of depth to the shot. So will we see them further in the attraction? Maybe this artwork lends some weight to that theory.

There’s also a chance we can see them running away or spelling danger for the ride-goers via screens in the attraction. That a complete assumption based off the new promo image, but it’s always a possibility. I wonder if either Bryce or Chris would take over for the Richard Kiley audio throughout the ride, or who knows, maybe even an audio cameo from Jimmy Fallon.

Next up, we finally have our first looks at the new Jurassic World gates in the land. The old Jurassic Park gates are long gone and the new concrete, sterile vibe of Jurassic World is here.

Universal tried to carry over the ascetic of the old gates instead of re-create the gates we’ve all seen in the actual Jurassic World film. I’ve seen complaints already in regards to the size of the lettering, the lack of depth and the color of the concrete pillars themselves, but I think thing will blend better once completed with fire effects and all. Of course, the lack of wooden doors will always signal an issue in theming, but they are definitely doing the best they can in a confined area. Hollywood doesn’t have the breadth of land that Orlando has for theming. I do like what I’m seeing so far though for Hollywood.

In the below tweet, we can see they’ve finally added the Jurassic World logo onto the ride building. It’s a wonderful sight to see. The massive logo now sits high above for all to see. This is a complete rebranding and they didn’t hesitate on pushing that branding in your face. Not only did they leave Jurassic Park behind, but they left it in the dust.

We finally get a really good look at the opening scene for Jurassic World The Ride featuring a fossil replica of Jurassic World’s iconic Mosasaurus!

This Mosasaurus fossil replica, along with “When Dinosaurs Ruled The Earth” will be the first thing you see before heading into the Mosasaurus scene. It’s a bit odd that the quote below mentions “dinosaurs” but the fossil is a Mosasaurus, notably not a dinosaur. With that aside, that section of the ride looks very interesting and I can’t wait to see how that blends into the Mosasaurus tank scene.

Next up, we get a decent look at the kids play area, nestled away in the corner.

From the image by @Bioreconstruct, you can see that they are adding on new levels to the”Dino Play” zone in the Jurassic World section. The original play area was fairly small, so it will be nice to have a few more additions for the young ones. Jurassic Park/World is something meant for nearly all ages, so I’m excited to see they haven’t forgotten that.

Next up, is a fun addition to the land. Isla Nu-Bar!

I love the name. It's one of those names we’ve all joked about for years. It’s such an on-the-nose name, but I absolutely love the inclusion of it in the section. With that name, I’d fully expect alcohol to be served there, not just your standard concession stand. I’m happy to see they are embracing the fun of the series and intellect of the super fans. Not only is this a rebranding, but they are embracing the idea that this is Isla Nublar and not just Jurassic World in California.

Lastly, we can see some new merchandise has been floating around the parks.

The merch showing up in time to promote the ride has a interesting flare to it. It’s part Jurassic World and part Fallen Kingdom. You can tell they’ve crossed over the two marketing ideas here with the burning look of the Fallen Kingdom merch and renderings of Blue, along with the identity of Jurassic World merch. I’d be interested in picking up the merch either way.

That about wraps up our coverage of the recent updates to the upcoming Jurassic World section at Universal Studios Hollywood! I am very excited about the change. Yes, it’s always going to be disappointing to see Jurassic Park as a thing of the past, but everything they’ve done to embrace Jurassic World looks amazing. What are you most excited about with these recent updates? Let us know in the comments below.

To see Universal Studios Hollywood’s new marketing campaign, It Just Got Real in support of this summer’s opening of “Jurassic World—The Ride,” click here.

With so much to see and do at Universal Studios Hollywood, the new California Neighbor Pass invites guests to experience 175 days of fun for $149 when purchased online. Visit www.UniversalStudiosHollywood.com for more details. Blackout dates and restrictions apply.

More information is available at www.UniversalStudiosHollywood.com. Like Universal Studios Hollywood on Facebook and follow @UniStudios on Instagram and Twitter.

Written by: Brad Jost

[eastformsdnb]

Burning selection blazing with massive bass lines and flaring rhythms

Kruze [Hong Kong]

Raised on Southern New Zealand DnB, Kruze grew up with his head in the record bins discovering the likes of Noisia, Black Sun Empire, The Upbeats and High Contrast. A penchant for Hi-Fi developed his sense for melodic liquid and experimental neurofunk that pushes the boundaries. Living in Hong Kong, Kruze has played the underground club circuit of Oma, Basement, XXX and 9/F for the likes of Heavy HK, Soul Healing, Unchained, Synthetik and MIST. His most recent project, State of Bass HK has been devastating Central Hong Kong with a mixture of heavy neurofunk and jump up DnB every month.

Tracklist: Survey - Rush To Judgement [DSCI4] Chromatic - Lung [Innerground Records] Scar - Make 'Em Know [Metalheadz] Foreign Concept - Skit City feat. Fox [Critical Music] Total Science & Break - Big Time Winners [Computer Integrated Audio] Silent Witness - Fields [Horizons Music] Klute - Angel Makers [Commercial Suicide] Foreign Concept & Halogenix - Waiheke Wine Club [Critical Music]Bredren - High On Yourself feat. Manon Gogos (Gerra & Stone Remix) [Proximity Recordings] Need for Mirrors & Concord Dawn - Junk [Warm Communications] R1C0 - Minus Forty [Soul Deep Digital] Silence Groove - Angelic [Offworld Recordings] Command Strange - In Circles [V Recordings] Green Vibes - Take Me Out [Live History Records] Silence Groove - Whistler [Fokuz Recordings] DLR - Unusual Behaviour feat. Signal [Dispatch Recordings] Zombie Cats & Safra - Ra [Major League DnB] MVRK - Blizzard Bluff [Proximity Recordings] Corrupted & Mr. Fuzz - Bussaback [The Dreamers Recordings] Artificial Intelligence - Privilege feat. Sense [Metalheadz] Fearful & Amoss - The Bends [Flexout Audio] Instinkt - Xhale [Lifestyle] Drum Force 1 - Distance [Nu Venture Records] SubMarine - Nitro (Wintermute Remix) [Boundless Beatz] Monty - Far Side [Red Light Records] Borderline - Momentus [Project 51 Recordings] Neonlight - Microbots [Blackout Music NL] Fierce & Zero T - Gaslight [Quarantine Recordings] Total Science & Digital & Spirit - Under Pressure [CIA v Phantom Audio] Deep Notion - Let's Get Grimey [Night45uk] Black Sun Empire & Pythius - Scarif [Blackout Music NL] Zero T & Fierce - Bonesmen [Metalheadz] Noisia - Motion Blur (DLR Remix) [Vision Recordings] Beta 2 feat. Eva - Manufacturism [Horizons Music] Mr. Frenkie - Tire Fire [Concussion Records] Klute - Soul Boy [Commercial Suicide] Soul Intent - Into the Unknown (For Diane) [Lossless Music]

[xpwewarchive]

XPWEW Friday Night Pyro (7-31-2020)

XPWEW Friday Night Pyro Date: July 31st, 2020 Episode: 437 Channel: VICE TV @ 10PM EST

*All or Nothing highlights capture - Lotus wins Case Your Luck - Myron & Kotto winning the titles - Joe Gacy and Audrey Carbine slugfest - Priscilla retains over Doxy - Romeo wins Case Your Luck - El Demonio wins PPV debut over Ethan Bedlam - Ruckus defeats McGraw by 1 point in Ironman Classic Bout

Opening Segment: We see The Set’s limo pull up to the parking lot area and the door opens and usually we see blunt smoke escape from the car but not this time which is odd. And slowly we see the XPWEW World Heavyweight Champion Ruckus with a hoodie tightly draped over his head with the title on his shoulder. GM Troy Clausen walks up Troy: Ruckus congratulations last Sunday on retaining the world title. (Ruckus undoes his hoodie) Troy: I just wanted to let you know you should have your driver park this limo somewhere safe because Leonard isn’t here, he hasn’t arrived yet and.. Ruckus: Are you trying to set me up? Troy: Set? Get it? Ruckus: Huh? Troy: Nothing, never mind I’m saying last time he was nowhere to be found he flung a chair through the windshield Ruckus: Maybe that punk learned his lesson, that he couldn’t hang with the champ for an hour and he’s afraid to show his face Troy: Tonight your gonna go 1 on 1 with GG Ruckus: I’ll do that. Boss. Thank you for letting me know Leonard ain’t here. You should fire him for missing work like the office told you when I no-showed Juneteenth. Do the right thing (Ruckus walks away: Troy ponders) (Jake Awesome exits the limo with a mean look, Jordan Oliver exits the limo with a grimace, Myron and Kotto exit the limo with a cocky grin, Siaka Lexoni exits with a serious face and head nods Clausen then lastly Chrissy Rivera exits the limo and doesn’t even look at Troy)

- The NEW XPWEW Tag Team Champions: THE SET: Myron Reed & Kotto Brazil enter with Siaka Lexoni - 3M Ultra & M3 Quintillo enter

Tag Team Match M1: The SET Myron Reed & Kotto Brazil (w/ Siaka Lexoni) def. 3M3

After the match: Myron and Kotto flaunt into the camera and boost that they are the best in tag team wrestling today

Backstage: Audrey Carbine is in Troy Clausen’s office and walks in Joe Gacy Audrey: Look here comes the town idiot Gacy: Shut the f*** up Carbine Troy Clausen: Will you two jagaloons please stop just for one itty bitty second. I saw the match at All or Nothing and damn it you two could be a good team if you tried to like each other a bit now I’ve hired you both an Anger Management Psycholigist Audrey & Gacy: *Groan* (indistinct chatter of disdain) Troy: So welcome your new anger management psycholigist: (Troy Clausen turns around and quickly puts on a white lab coat) Me! Troy: Audrey, say something nice about Joe, and Joe please…please say something nice about Audrey hmm Joe: What the f*** is this Troy: Just one thing, for god sake Joe: (hocks loogie) and stares at Carbine Carbine: Do it…do it pussy Gacy: (stalling)…. (Turns over) spits in potted plant in the corner of the room and walks away (Troy Clausen and Audrey Carbine stare as Gacy leaves) Troy: Believe it or not..I think we’ve already made significant progress Carbine: (ignores Troy)

- Doxy Deity and her protege Thunder Rosa join commentary with Kailtyn Khaos and Nick Simmonds - Priscilla Kelly enters - Kiera Hogan enters with 911 Brian Lee

1 on 1 M2: Priscilla Kelly (c) def. Kiera Hogan (w/ Brian Lee) ((During the match we see Chrissy Rivera watching the match on a screen backstage with Siaka Lexoni)

(After the match: Lotus comes out with the briefcase and fakes a cash in on Priscilla who’s still a bit fresh and ready instead Lotus clocks Kiera Hogan with the briefcase and avoids 911 Brian Lee, Priscilla wipes away the blood off her lip and bows to Lotus who walking uo the ramp gets clotheslined by The Set’s Chrissy Rivera, Chrissy hits that cheap shot and then jets it up the stairs like a coward. Siaka is such a loudmouth here and it’s great classic Jimmy Hart style heat.)

In ring segment: Golden Bryce enters the ring and cuts a promo about he’s upset he didn’t win CYL the other night at ALL OR NOTHING to where he is interrupted by his old rival earlier this year in Champagne Clausen - Champagne calls Bryce a LOSER Garrett Thompson enters with a purpose, he was very close to winning the CYL in fact it came down to him and Romeo at the very end so his promo against Bryce is one of conviction that he’s the one who really lost. Garrett calls Champagne a one hit wonder to which Champagne calls Garrett a “never was”. - The Marauder Simon Gotch enters with Mandy Leon To which Simon Gotch calls all three of them delusional and invalids - Alveno La Flare enters annoyed with Champagne, GT and Gotch all bagging on his cousin Bryce so Alveno defends Golden Bryce his cousin as an actual proven champion and Lockdown main venter, GT quickly chimes in “well me too” (Lockdown 5) and then Alveno challenge them to a 2 on 3 match right now and here we go:

2 on 3 Tag Team Match M3: Golden Bryce & Alveno La Flare def. Champagne Clausen, Garrett Thompson & “The Marauder” Simon Gotch

- After the match Golden Bryce gives Alveno a nod of approval, they work really good together however the trio of heels have no love lost as GT, Champagne & Gotch all equally despise each other and all separately disdain in their own bubbles

Ad: Heatwave 2020 ad

- El Demonio enters

ALL OR NOTHING rematch 1 on 1 M4: El Demonio def. Ethan Bedlam

In ring segment: Romeo Roselli cuts a truly star-making promo about how his legacy was always to become XPWEW World Heavyweight Champion and now that he has possession of the Case Your Luck briefcase that’s a reality - Jordan Oliver comes out with the XPWEW Juniorweight Title and also holding Ruckus’ world title, Ruckus lags behind with Myron and Kotto and Siaka at the ramp Jordan: Lil Romeo, pimp you gonna be the only dude to cash in and lose, How bout you take the junorweight challenge before you even cross the mane Ruckus Romeo: (signals Jordan)

1 on 1 M5: Jordan Oliver def. Romeo Roselli (Interference when Garrett Thompson comes out and hits his patented elbow on Romeo to which Jordan quickly wraps up Romeo for the 1-2-3)

- Garrett then grabs the briefcase while Bedlam holds Romeo Roselli up and nails Romeo over the skull with the Case Your Luck briefcase

- On commentary Kailtyn Khoas announces Death Machines will try to work together as a team as they take on the newly formed team of Golden Bryce and his little cousin Alveno La Flare next week on Friday Night Pyro

In ring segment - Jake Awesome with a bandage on his head enters with The Set: (Jordan Oliver, Ruckus, Myron, Kotto, Chrissy Rivera & Siaka Lexoni) [I gotta mention how THE SET is drippin' in gold here: Ruckus = World | Jordan = JrWeight | Myron & Kotto = Tag | Jake = International Jake: All or Nothing, was more of Something and Somewhat for The Set: Ruckus retained he squashed that maggot Leonard McGraw, Myron and Kotto got the job done against the Malfunction Machines; Good job boys. Chrissy was robbed of the women's Case Your Luck BUT I WAS GOING TO LEAD JORDAN OLIVER TO THAT BRIEFCASE. It wasn't for me, I was there to insure Jordan Oliver: The fastest rising star in XPWEW no in pro wrestling could secure the bag and if THE SET ever lost possession of the world title we would have hope. The great white hope himself Jordan Olvier to snag it right back for The SET Jordan: I have been the Juniorweight Champion for EXACTLY 355 days, that means in 10 days I will have held this title one calendar year because I'm young, dumb and fuckin OVERRRRR Jake: That's right. All Man....Let me tell you something. I thought I crippeled you and your little girlfriend but I guess I didn't get the job done. Because I'm making a challenge. Jake Awesome THE MAMMOTH. will knock Tenille Dashwood's TEETH down her FUCKIN THROAT...... - All Man and Tenille Dashwood appear on the titan tron Jordan: LOOK AT THE COWARDS! LOOK AT THE COWARDS! Jake: Via Satellite real smooth p**** All Man: Jake, you tried to kill me and that was one thing. Now you've threatened my wife. And as a MAN....I'm going to knock your teeth down your throat Jake: laughs it off All Man: I'm gonna be a Friday Night Pyro next week and I'm going to make you a challenge, that you can't refuse. Next week I'm gonna make the annoucement I want the world to hear because I WILL get my redemption and I WILL embarrass you All Woman: ............F**K YOU (Jake Awesome with his arms crossed on the rope in silence exits the ring and The Set follows)

Nick Simmonds: Wow, I'm at a loss for words. What will All Man's announcement be next week?

- GG enters

- Ruckus enters with Myron Reed, Kotto Brazil & Siaka Lexoni

1 on 1 M6: Ruckus def. GG

After the match on the TITANTRON: We see Leoanrd McGraw dragging a XPWEW camera man around in his truck Leonard: Well I'm here in the city of brotherly love Philadelphia, Pennsylvania aka the home of XPWEW World Champion Ruckus (Ruckus looks perplexed staring at the titan tron while standing in the ring) Leonard: Well hell would you look at that? Ruckus's house. I remember seeing this brick shit house in that VICE tv special. Well Ima just stand here on the porch and I got this jerry can here...ooops I spilt some on ya front porch (Leonard drips the jerry can all over the front porch to the mail box) (Ruckus is screaming at the titan tron like a maniac as The Set tries to calm him down) Leonard: Well hell I ain't much for smoking weed like you do, but hell I'll try anything once (Leonard pulls out a match and lights up a cigarette and inhales) (Zoom in on bug eyed ENRAGED Ruckus in the ring) (Leonard takes a big drag off the cigarette then spits it out "Bad for the lungs I can't go sixty minutes after smoking one of these sum bitches" (Leonard lights a match and stares at the camera "See you in hell Motherfu****" *throws match into gasoline*) (Ruckus' safehouse porch goes up in flames as Leoanrd stares at the camera) (Ruckus screaming and he is extremely pissed) (Ruckus' house in Philly 2700 miles away is engulfed in flames) as the show ends Show ends

[xpwewarchive]

XPWEW Friday Night Pyro (6-26-2020)

XPWEW Friday Night Pyro

Episode: 432

June 26th, 2020

Location: The Barracks in Los Angeles, California | XPWEW training facility

Opening Segment: The Set (without Ruckus) (Siaka Lexoni, Myron Reed, Kotto Brazil, Jordan Oliver & Chrissy Rivera) enter Siaka: I know some of y’all have to be asking just how long does our world heavyweight champion Ruckus have to be on hiatus from appearing on this show? Kotto: And I know some of y’all have to be wondering well is he going to be at the pay-per-view The Devil’s Playhouse this Sunday Myron: That’s 19.99 on FITE TV right now use the promo code “RUCKUS” for the next five minutes to save a few bones. That’s R-U-C-K-U-S. Ruckus Jordan: That’s right! Until The Set receives a formal ‘thank you’ from the VICE network you won’t see the world champion on this show.

Un-named gentleman in a suit enters Unknown Sir: My name is Shane Sloth and on behalf of Viceland and Vice Media I wanna say thank you..... (Silence) Siaka: Mahn that shit ain’t good enough! You ain’t thanking me you thanking Ruckus! Shane Sloth: Well how can I... Myron: Get him on the phone, Get him on the phone

Leonard McGraw enters to a huge pop (Leonard comes in and hits a devastating clothesline on Shane Sloth that knocks him out of his dress shoes) ((Leonard grabs the mic)) Jordan: Hold it, Hold it, Hold it, Hold it, Hold it. You come out here and think you can do whatever you want Leonard: That’s right Siaka: BOY DO NOT LET ME SPEAK ON THAT. YOU BETTER STAY YOUR PLACE Leonard: Shut the hell up! Wah Wah Wah. Siaka Lexoni? You don’t even wrestle anymore so shut the hell up Leonard: Jordan, Myron, Kotto Brazil y’all three stooges sum bitches got a world title match in 2 days but do you really, because I know I got a big red target on my back and I wanna warm ya. Don’t think that match with Jake Awesome is gonna have me on a half tank of gas cause im coming for all three of ya and I’m coming for the xpwew world title. Which meaaaans I’m coming for Ruckus’ ass and I want a piece of Ruckus’ ass cell phone rings (Comedic moment of a mouth gape-opened McGraw staring at a fretful Jordan Oliver who slowly holds up the cell phone to the microphone) Jordan: Hello? ..... Jordan: No no no I’m in the ring right now it’s the opening segment...... Jordan: ......No no no I’m looking right at him.......Yeah. Ugly as hell. Oh Leonard, Ruckus said he has two words for you and he wanted me to hold it up to the microphone Leonard attacks Jordan but Myron and Kotto join in and even the score a bit and now it’s a 1 on 3 onslaught on McGraw who then gets help from Jacques Dudley and then assistance from Alveno La Flare who makes the request for a 6 man tonight! Myron: Y’all got it!!!!

Tag Team Match M1: Chrissy Rivera & Lotus defeat Doxy Deity & Prisiclla Kelly

James Westerbeck interviews Golden Bryce “Ever since Lockdown I’ve been doing some soul searching and all I can say is if TakaNaka really is the greatest tag team then surely they can beat me this sunday? I doubt it!”

Taka Michinoku enters with Masato Tanaka

Golden Bryce enters

1 on 1 M2: Golden Bryce defeats Taka Michinoku (with Masato Tanaka)

In ring segment: Garrett Thompson and Ethan Bedlam point out they are on a 3 win in a row winning streak; and they deserve shots at the tag belts regardless of what gender is holding them. And that’s a promise

Tag Team Match M3: Garrett Thompson & Ethan Bedlam defeats 3M Ultra & M3 Quintillo

(After the match Simon Gotch and Mandy Leon come down flaunting their new tag team gold and Gotch bites off a little more than he can chew getting up in Bedlam’s face to which Garrett steps in between them and says “Wanna try getting physical with me?” Gotch responds Garrett Thompson “Go back to your bathhouse” Garrett responds “I’m always watching and your fresh meat, Tell your little girlfriend I won’t hesitate to knock both your heads off” Gotch uncomfortable walks forward and Mandy Leon slumps her shoulders and that was actual bit of an uncomfortable segment and why Gotch and Mandy aren’t all that ‘heelish’ it puts over Garrett and Bedlam as proper scumbags

Based Fabian and Genevalisse enters

Tag Team Match M4: Simon Gotch and Mandy Leon defeat Based Fabian & Genevalisse

Romeo Roselli cuts a promo directly into the camera from what appears to be a dark alley “Joe Gacy, you think I’m rusty cause I haven’t been in the ring in two years. Well rust never sleeps big boy and I’m gonna remind you why I am the most important person in sports entertainment today. As for Audrey Carbine. You wanna take a shot you can’t reach, try it because if you think you got voices in your head well I’m gonna be singing the chorus and I’m gonna be loud. So stay in your place and understand my vengeance is all inclusive.....”

• AWESOME BOMB ACADEMY COMMERCIAL

Priscilla Kelly and Lotus join commentary with Nick Simmonds and Kaitlyn Khaos to push the women’s playhouse match but first Kaitlyn Khaos throws it over to XPWEW backstage correspondent James Westerbeck as he gets a word with XPWEW International Champion Jake Awesome going into tonight’s contract signing and Sunday’s Last Man Standing match with Leonard McGraw

James: Jake, you don’t think it’s a bit compromising you made the challenge so supreme for Leonard knowing he’s gonna compete in The Devil’s Playhouse later in the night Jake: Ask Leonard McGraw why he cashed not one check but Why he cashed two big checks his ass CAN NOT cash. He’s gonna be in hospice after Last Man Standinf. Key!!! Last Man Standing, he won’t be in two matches Sunday. But...James have you ever heard the saying “If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough?” Well Leonard is dumb. Very dumb. But tough? Meh the verdict is out and I’ll be the judge and the executioner ....

Death Machines: Joe Gacy enters followed by Audrey Carbine

All Woman enters with All Man

1 on 1 M5: All Woman defeats Audrey Carbine when Romeo Roselli interferes with a swift kick to Carbine’s head giving All Woman the go ahead roll up victory, Gacy comes in and bodies Roselli they brawl to the ringside area ultimately with Gacy picking up Romeo and All Man in one slam and running towards the barricade and breaking the barricade and leaving them in a heap. Gacy walks off and Carbine walks off but not before stepping to Priscilla Kelly at commentary but Kelly did not flinch Lotus “Camera needs to focus on me, neither of those girls are leaving that playhouse on their own two feet and that’s not a threat”

Some suit walks up with the contract and tells Jake “Leonard’s already signed Jake, he said he doesn’t wanna talk, he only wants to fight”

Jake angrily yells in the gentlemen’s face: Alright huh huh that’s cool, that’s different that’s unique, How cute McGraw... (Jake signs the contract on James Westerbeck’s back) “I like closed casket funerals. Quick and easy. No pain. Sunday’s gonna be fun”

Pre-Recorded Segment: Champagne Clausen driving in his Bugatti vehicle in the streets of Philadelphia. Presumably looking for Ruckus as he wants to create a bridge so he can be friends with The Set to helps his chances of winning at The Devil’s Playhouse: Champagne pulls up to this very “Elm Street” looking house and approaches a man at the door who thinks Champagne is trying to buy weed and Champagne responds “I’m looking for Ruckus” Man 1: Follow me......camera follows them inside this smoke filled house Man 2: Knocks on door, Ruckus, Champagne Clausen is here Ruckus: (opens door) Champagne: I came all this way to say look I’m on your side, I’m on the side of The Set Ruckus: exhales blunt smoke...”The Set got a plan A and that’s me retaining the title Sunday, The Set got a plan B that’s you, that’s Champagne Clausen helping get rid of McGraw and we can work out a deal on getting you opportunities. Right but if you fail to deliver and if my dudes somehow fail and then yeah I got a plan C. Plan C gonna change the whole game, and shit Plan C really already in effect people just don’t know. Plan C gonna take care of McGraw, 1 way or another. I’m leaving Devil’s Playhouse still the heavyweight champion of the world and McGraw gonna leave me alone for good, I’m finna dead this nigga’s career. He a problem and If The Set can’t dead this shit in THE SET’s PLAYHOUSE. Plan C will. Ruckus slams door in Champagne’s face

Jacques enters

Alveno La Flare enters

Leonard McGraw enters

The Set enters (without Ruckus)

6 Man Tag Match Main Event M6: THE SET (Myron Reed, Kotto Brazil and Jordan Oliver) with Siaka Lexoni defeats Alveno La Flare, Leonard McGraw and Jacques Dudley

Myron Reed hits his finishing move “Sky Walker” on Alveno La Flare for the 1-2-3 as The Set wins the match

After the match Leonard McGraw clotheslines Kotto, then Jordan then Myron sells it like a champion flipping after the clothesline and a fired up McGraw does the “belt wrapping around the waist” motion twice as to signal he’s gonna have 2 belts come Sunday. Show ends

[xpwewarchive]

XPWEW Friday Night Pyro (2-14-2020)

Friday Night Pyro February 14th, 2020 Boise, Idaho CenturyLink Arena

Vice intro

Show opens with All Man looking directly into the camera “Ladies & Gentleman Mr. Burt Bacharach as he performs “What the world needs now” inside the Alvista titled “ALLVISTA” tonight which is an upscale Italian restaurant. All Man and All Woman applaud the performance (you can tell All Woman is keeping a bit reserved mature in her body language, upholding that this date is in fact PLATONIC) All Man pulls out the chair for All Woman as she sits immediately a waiter appears to reveal a huge steak and salad dinner for the two. (You then see dialogue begin) All Man: This place looks nice huh? Alll Woman: Um wow yeah but a bit expensive yeah? How much are you paying for this? All Man: Listen I’m the xpwew world heavyweight champion I’m sure it’s all on the house. looks at waiter Isn’g that right? Waiter: I have absolutely no idea who you are

The live crowd is seen and they go wild and we are introduced to the commentary table Kaitlyn Khoas & Nick Simmonds and the camera quickly pans to the far right to see a “Weekend At Bernie’s* esq Troy Clausen sitting in a wheelchair with goofy silly wacky eyeball glasses on LOL

Lotus enters (big pop)

Quick hype package last week of her verbally dismantling Shane McCoy’s failed rap career and support of terrible people IE: Chris Johnson

Shane McCoy enters (boo)

M1: Shane McCoy vs Lotus

[Ends in draw technicality when McCoy uses the tag rope to choke Lotus and although she doesn’t quit referee Kevin Madrox decides to call the match for “foul play” interesting call. Shane McCoy hits referee Kevin Madrox with “The Odyssey”

and Romeo Roselli storms down to the ring and tries to push McCoy and say for that unnecessary response to our official I’m fining you 10 grand. McCoy fired up! McCoy: Are you serious moron? I run this damn promotion you idiot! You can’t do a thing to me Romeo: Maybe I cant but maybe I can book myself to fight you? Because I said when I took this job over a year ago that I had no plans on leaving the ring and I McCoy: attacks Roselli mid sentence and they get to brawling until Lotus breaks up the scuffle and applies the helm sharpshooter on McCoy and Romeo even says “Let em’ go, Let em’ Go” McCoy dashes out side the ring: McCoy: Roselli you need to know you role, and understand what you’ve done. I’m fair okay I’m not spiteful and if you ever wanna step back in the ring, Feel free to step down from you position but KNOW. THIS. Expect the most.

The Set enters and Myron Reed takes the lead on the promo as they lay down a 6 man tag challenge against Plagueground and Dragon Kid

M2: Jordan Oliver, Myron Reed & Kotto Brazil defeat Joe Gacy, Brodie Croyle & Dragon Kid (mid match Leonard McGraw brawls with Dragon Kid into they crowd and they have a unique brawl from the stairs, to the back where it ends with McGraw putting Dragon Kid over the concession stand and then McGraw drinks tap beer straight from the spicket. McGraw spits it in Kid’s face as he lies prone. Ms. Ryu says something angry in Japanese at Dragon Kid but it’s not translated and we have no idea what she said

Flirting With Disaster PPV how to purchase promo

We come back from the break to recap what happened with Kid and McGraw and Kaitlyn Khaos informs the audience what was said by Ms. Ryu and it’s said that McGraw has challenged Kid at the upcoming Flirting With Disaster PPV to a match where if McGraw wins Dragon Kid must remove his mask

Pre recorded promo: Rosemary and Slayer cut eerie promo as they do a tour of theirs home which looks like an abandoned apartment complex and Slayer’s international title shrine is pretty dope (it is the most prestigious belt now) [This pre tape was done to freshen up who Rosemary and Slayer are to the new VICE viewers]

M3: Audrey Carbine defeats Lola Starr via submission

99 days until LOCKDOWN 7

M4: Champagne Clausen defeats Eugene as he quote “trims the fat” After the match Freight Train makes the challenge 1 on 1 in a stretcher Match and Champagne I’ve never been happier to accept

Freight Train shows a video of what him and Troy Clausen have been up to and a straight rip of My Name Is Earl is that Train has been putting Troy in these wheelchair basketball leagues and having “bonding time”

Winner will be the No. 1 contender for the I-N Title M5: GG defeats Based Fabian [ After the match GG says Larva is what it is, a collection of like minded people but my sights are on that gold and Your gonna have to kill me, to stop me from getting it Rosemary comes out to have a promo war with GG and she’s being really creepy and Rosemary does a magic trick and a twin Rosemary appears and GG looks confused and they both storm into him, lights fade to black and it’s slayer in the ring mauling GG with a steel chair wrecking him knees with the gold but then GG’s irl girlfriend Amy Lee also member of Larva hits a crazy Somoan drop on Slayer and Slayer absorbs the punishment and runs up the ramp and just in a few minutes GG and Slayer just got real personal

Doxy enters in very “sexy” attire in anticipation for the “Bra & Panties Match” she challenged xpwew women’s champion Kiera Hogan to last week?

Kiera Hogan appears at the ramp

Do you really think I was gonna lower my standards and compete in such an embarrassing match, Boise doesn’t deserve to see they. Unlike you I hold myself to a standard Doxy, you can strip for these mouth breathers but I’m not because I’m a women’s wrestler a champion not a thot. Why don’t you put your big girl panties on and grow some self esteem because I’m not gonna put my title on the line on free cable tv. Nah you gotta order the PPV to see me compete

Doxy reacts accordingly standing in the ring

All Woman gets on one knee and proposes in front of everyone at the restaurant

All Woman grabs All Man’s hand as he’s having a great time, She says ALL of this, ALL of it was great but I feel like I have to tell you that ........ I really like you ..But this is ALL happening really fast and I wasn’t expecting this, The flowers, the everything but I um All Man: Whattaya say? All Woman: inhales I don’t know. I don’t know I’m sorry I’m sorry (All Woman grabs her coat and walks out of the restaurant in a rush)

Scott Steiner walks in with 2 big bottles of Champagne spraying it and the waiter gives him the neck “no not right now” signal Steiner: What the Fuck???

M6: Golden Bryce defeats Alveno La Flare Bryce cuts a promo “All Man. You’ve had your 15 minutes and on the 23rd I’m taking that title back so cherish the minutes. Crowd kinda groans