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petertingle-yipyip · 9 months ago

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STRANGER (viii) - KAZ BREKKER

tags: @beekeepingageissome @shadowzena43 @nikfigueiredo @mp-littlebit @starmansirius @hadesnumber1daughter @directioner5life @strvngestark @hostilityghost @ofmenanduhhhwellmen @justnerdystuffs // previously // next

Pairing: Kaz x Davina Rollins (enemies to lovers)

Word Count: 6,076

Summary: Kaz Brekker complicates everything. Whether or not he knows it, Davina doesn’t know, but the whirlwind of confusing feelings is only beginning as far as he is concerned. But one fading battle is replaced quickly by another.

That sick squelching sound of your blade pulling free haunted you, even weeks after the Dryden job.

Kol and Melli were waiting for you at the Rook. Once you parted with Inej, who you owed in a way you didn’t think you’d repay any time soon, you snuck back to your gambling hall and made it to your office. You practically collapsed once you shut that door. Both of them had already been inside, hauling you to your chair before Kol got to work on your seeping wounds.

“Saints, Davina!” Melli chastised you anxiously. You noted the frayed cuff of her shirt and the thread stuck under her fingernail. “We thought you were dead!”

“Nearly.” Kol frowned. “You’ve lost a lot of blood, Davina.”

“I know.” You nodded. “Thank the Wraith I’m alive.”

“The Wraith?” Melli paled.

“She heard you two when you were passing through, went to see what was happening.” You winced as Kol pulled gently on the knotted fabric around one of the wounds. “If she hadn't shown up, Pekka would’ve put a bullet in my skull.”

Neither of them had anything to say after that, but you didn’t miss the look they exchanged.

Adrenaline wore off as he was about halfway through the knife wound and you let yourself fall into the darkness of unconsciousness.

You woke several hours later. Melli was asleep at her desk and Kol had brought in a chair for himself. He was folded atop a corner of her desk as well. You smiled slightly at their dedication before running your fingers over the various new scars. They were faint, invisible in the darkness of your office, but you could feel them. The only one that really stood out was the chunk taken out of your palm’s edge.

The only good thing about that night was that your small crew was paid the kruge you were promised.

You didn’t tell either of them anymore of what happened at the Dryden Estate after they left. You couldn’t tell them, which only made the memory of the night weight heavier on your conscience. Killing someone in the Barrel was inevitable, you had accepted that from the minute you decided to leave your father behind, but you were naive enough to believe you could avoid it for a little while longer.

You were sitting on the roof near the Slat one night when the silence was particularly unbearable. You had just sat with Kol as he received his snake, which he decided would wrap around his bicep. He hardly said anything, only squeezed your hand occasionally while Melli was inking his skin.

Your clothes were all black and with your hood drawn, you hoped you blended into the shadows. The busy sounds of a Ketterdam night helped, allowing you to lose yourself for minutes at a time in your drawing - that night’s focus was the poison driven vision of Kaz in the sunlight - but when you closed your eyes for too long, you saw the bloodied blade. You felt blood on your hands. You heard your voice, cold and distant.

No, I don’t think you will.

You looked around the roofs and noticed a familiar window open. You saw Kaz go by and you felt your stomach lurch. Surely he had killed someone, given how many tales had formulated around his name. He himself had said that there was enough truth in every tale, so he had to have some blood on his hands.

You crept across the roof and positioned yourself near his windowsill. It wasn’t until your back was against the Slat that you questioned what you were doing.

Why would you go to Kaz for comfort? He would laugh at you, realize you were mentally weak and target you. Your snakes would fall apart and you’d lose everything. Every threat you made to your father, every warning that you and Kaz would take his empire out from under him, would mean nothing. You caught sight of your drawing and it truly settled that you had nothing.

“I know you’re out there.” Kaz spoke from the window and you flinched. You quickly turned towards the windowsill and he was already looking at you. Immediately, your thought was the drawing. “What are you doing here?”

You quietly shrugged and shifted your papers under your cloak, unable to trust your words.

“Do you intend to stay out here all night?”

Another quiet shrug.

Kaz sighed and offered you his hand. Hesitantly, you accepted it and let him bring you in, finding comfort in the familiar feeling of his leather gloves. Once you were inside, you pushed your hood back and found something to occupy your attention so you wouldn’t have to look at him. Instead, you admired the DeKappel painting he had hanging in his office.

“Davina.” He said simply. It was simple but you could hear the underlying meaning. Why are you here? What happened?

You took a deep breath and turned to face him. “Have you… How many…” You dropped your eyes and ran a hand over your face.

“Inej told me about the Dryden job.” He said instead and you looked up at him. You crossed your arms under your cloak, feeling as if you could crumble in on yourself. “She said it went bad for you.”

“The Dime Lions showed up.” You confirmed. “Shot me, twice, cut my arm, took a chunk out of my palm.”

“Was it worth it?”

“Got us ten thousand kruge.” You shrugged.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Isn’t it?” You tried to sound casual, but the unamused expression he wore told you otherwise. “I believe it was you who once said profit was your father and Ketterdam your mother.”

“My father isn’t the one causing trouble. Tell me, in your own words, what happened that night.”

“Pekka Rollins admitted he’s finally disowned me. He had a gun pointed to my forehead. He would’ve done it if Inej hadn't shown up.”

“Is that what this is about? Pekka disowning you.” The disbelief in his tone and on his face made you want to strangle him. He had to be messing with you. There was no way he thought that was true.

“No, I don’t care about that.” You wished you could be smaller, just to avoid Kaz’s intent stare. “I care about what I did.”

“And what did you do, Vina?”

“I killed one of them.” You snapped and you felt the blood drain from your face. Kaz seemed unfazed and it made you want to slap him. Or scream at him. Or hug him. It was such a mess in your head. “I put my knife in him, right here.” You pointed to the spot on your own abdomen. “He threatened to kill me, said he’d do it himself, so I pulled the knife out and his blood coated my hands. It took me four times to get it from under my nails.”

“You did the right thing. He likely would’ve come for you, your lieutenant, your Heartrender. None of your Snakes would’ve been safe.”

“The right thing?” You laughed in disbelief. “The right thing? No, Brekker, the right thing would’ve been to let Pekka kill me and be done with it. The right thing would’ve been to have never started this war against him. The right thing would’ve been to-“

You closed your mouth quickly. You didn’t dare finish that sentence, even though the thought was very clear in your head. The right thing would’ve been to come to you in the first place instead of thinking I could do this. The right thing would’ve been to be at your side instead of against you.

It was a traitorous thought, born out of contempt for who you were now. Killing a man changed the foundation of who someone was, and ever since you did, all you could think was that you were no better than your surname.

“I haven’t told Melli or Kol.” You confessed, hoping to steer the conversation away from you near admission. Letting Kaz know you doubted your ability to lead was as much a death sentence as letting Pekka know, and you would risk neither. “How can I?”

“You underestimate their trust in you.” Kaz said matter of factly. “They wouldn’t follow you this long into a battle so blindly if they didn’t have faith in you.”

“But does killing a man so coldly not make me exactly like him? I am my father’s daughter, I’ve claimed it a hundred times when it serves me, but I don’t want to be his daughter like this.”

Kaz sighed and gestured for you to follow. You didn’t move. Instead of following, you look back at the DeKappel. You remembered hearing rumors that it had been lifted from one of the merchant houses, that the job was so clean it was either multiple people or a ghost. You understood then that it was, in fact, both. Multiple ghosts.

You heard an impatient throat clear from the other room so you breathed a heavy sigh then headed over. Kaz gestured for you to sit on his bed and you found the setting familiar. He went over to a set of three mirrors, watching you in the reflection, while he carefully removed his gloves.

“You are not Pekka.” He said purposefully. You fidgeted slightly and felt the rustle of papers under your cloak and against your torso. Gently, you reached under the fabric and counted they were all there. “Killing one man, who would’ve killed you and everyone you care about, does not change who you are.”

“How would you know?” You challenged, though the words lacked any venom. “You don’t know me anymore, Brekker.”

“Don’t I?” He turned, crossing his arms and hiding his hands. “I know exactly who you are, Davina. You haven’t changed much since we were kids.”

“Neither of us are that same kid anymore.” You shook your head sadly. “You told me the boy I knew died. What’s to say the girl you knew didn’t as well?”

“Part of that girl, maybe.” He came and sat beside you, leaning his elbows to his knees. You shifted back slightly to ensure he had his space. “But in your heart, you haven’t changed. Instead of fighting the neighborhood kids, you’re fighting your father.”

“He’ll best me. He always does.”

“He’s yet to truly best you, Dear, because you sit here in one piece. You live and breathe and you fight, because that is what we do. We never stop fighting.”

The weight of his last sentence sat like an anvil in your chest. Regretfully, you knew he was right. Kaz had been fighting since he was a child, since you last saw him with his brother rightfully beside him. Your fight didn’t start until later, when you had the confirmation that Pekka’s greed had been the cause of their deaths.

“I’m not in one piece.” You said shakily, trying to swallow the threatening tears. “I can’t stand the silence anymore because all I hear is the sound of my knife. I can’t look Melli in the eyes knowing I’m hiding this from her. I’ve worked so hard to convince her - and myself - that I am more than just another Rollins, willing to kill those against me and steamroll whoever I have to. And all that’s gotten me is kidnapped, beaten, deceived, poisoned. Having my mother’s heart has done nothing for me.”

“Your mother’s heart is not a curse.” He said firmly. A tear escaped at that and you wiped it away harshly. “For it to survive so long in you makes it strong. It makes you strong, Vina.”

“I wish you wouldn’t call me that.”

“Why?”

“Well, I don’t call you Kazzle anymore, now do I?”

“Tell me.”

“Because it makes me think that…” You let out a shaky breath. You’d already confessed so much to Kaz that night. What did one more matter? You planned to drink yourself into a stupor upon your return to the Rook anyway so you wouldn’t remember any of it. “That you and I don’t have to hate each other. That we can find a way back to what we had before… It was sweet and real.”

“Sweetness in the Barrel doesn’t last.” He almost sounded regretful. His gaze went down to his hands and yours followed.

His fingers were long and slender, riddled with scars from fights. You wondered if he remembered where each one came from. Kaz had to be like the crows he claimed as far as his memory was concerned. He wouldn’t forget those who were kind, same as he wouldn’t forget those who crossed him. Maybe that meant he remembered everything about his own history.

He had the hands of a lockpick, you decided. You didn’t need to see him work to know he could get through any lock in record time. Not only that, but he had the hands of an illusionist. His sleights were known across the Barrel, and they said even if you could see Brekker’s hands, that didn’t mean you were safe. Nothing was safe if Dirtyhands was around.

“Do you know why I wear gloves?” He said suddenly.

You brought your eyes to his face but he wasn’t looking at you. He was very intently staring at a spot on the floor where two boards touched.

“No one truly knows.” You shrugged. “Some say you have talons, others say just bones. Once I heard that your hands were rotten and the flesh was barely hanging on.”

He smirked slightly, head dipping for a moment before he turned to face you. You’d never seen him so vulnerable. You almost felt as if you were intruding, and in a way, maybe you were.

“When the bodymen picked us up, I wasn’t dead, but I was dropped in the harbor all the same.” He began and you felt a coldness under your skin. Goosebumps raised on your arms and you wrapped them around yourself under your cloak. “To get back, I had to swim.”

“Those waters are torture to swim. They’re freezing more often than not.” You thought of the day he practically threw you into the canals, your chattering teeth and trembling hands as you got back to your building.

“Yes… The living tend to sink, but the dead…”

“Saints, Kaz. That must’ve been horrible.” You breathed. You automatically reached a hand for his shoulder, to offer some comfort, but as you did, the true realization dawned on you. Instantly, your hand vanished back under your cloak. “That’s why you practically shut down in that alley, when I touched you.”

He nodded, a single dip of his chin.

“Why would you tell me this?” You asked, looking at his slender fingers for a second. You imagined his younger, smaller hands having to cling to the cold and swollen body, desperate to return to land. It made you sick, not so much for the action but for the cause.

Pekka Rollins did more than kill Kaz’s brother. He truly tortured Kaz Rietveld, scarred him permanently in a way you had a feeling you’d barely seen the surface of. How else had Pekka ruined your old friend?

“You shared a secret with me.” He turned to face you and you met his eyes. You also felt his hand land on your leg but you didn’t acknowledge it. “It’s only fair I share one with you.”

“And you trust me to know this?” Your hand found his forearm, ensuring you didn’t cross the barrier of his sleeve.

“You trust me to know yours?”

“No.” You laughed slightly. “But I had no one else to tell and you would’ve found out sooner or later.”

His arm gently twisted under your hand and you glanced down. His hand was now palm up towards you, as if quietly asking for yours. You looked back at him with questioning eyes but neither of you dared to move.

You were quickly trying to figure out what Kaz was doing.

Kaz wasn’t even quite sure what he was doing. Telling Davina that he couldn’t stand physical touch was one thing. Most people he interacted with figured it out in one way or another, but it was the why that no one ever knew.

But Davina wasn’t like anyone else, not to him at least. They were tethered in a way he was yet to understand. They always had been. As kids, they took to each other almost instantly. She weaved intricate backstories for their games and he loved to hear her talk. He had an interest in the street magicians and she plotted how to sneak away and go see them. If he scraped his knee, she was there with a cloth and kind words. If she was smiling, he was too.

He was hers, in any and every way a person could be, but he fought it now. As he grew into Dirtyhands, he forced that connection to the back of his mind. He hoped every vile action he had taken would chip away it, leave it severed and pathetic by the time she showed her face again. However, it all sparked back to life when she spoke to him as her true self that night she escaped the Emerald Palace.

In another life, maybe. He tried to convince himself. He pretended he believed that. But if there was ever a Saint that paid him a passing glance, he asked them for it to be his life now.l

She threw all of his thoughts into a whirlwind. He wanted to see her as nothing but Pekka’s prodigy, the heir to the Lion’s kingdom, but she was far from it. She was her own woman, a new Barrel Boss. The Rollins Princess, yes, but underneath every title she was stil just Vina to him.

Her smile still sparked something in his chest. Her voice sent his stomach into an acrobatic performance. Her laugh made him dizzy in the best way. She was everything good, everything that he yearned for without even knowing. She was his. But he could never say that to her.

So he shoved it all down as best he could, buried it under foul act upon foul act. He wanted to snuff out those embers in the very depth of his soul, those cursed feelings were so embedded. It wasn’t Dirtyhands Brekker with those feelings, but Kaz Rietveld who was supposed to be dead.

Davina was his revival and he cherished her as much as he hated her.

You wondered how long you two had stayed in that position. Kaz said nothing to you, lost in his own thoughts. Was he plotting a way to kill you, take the knife from under your cloak and drive in your chest? For a fleeting moment, you thought of death as a relief.

But as you slowly dragged your hand down Kaz’s arm, you wondered if that was wrong. When you reached his cuff, you angled your wrist so your fingertips were barely touching him. With bated breaths, you let your fingertips ghost along the length of his palm and down his middle finger. He flinched at the contact but did nothing else.

Finally, both of your hands returned to yourself and rested in your lap. He looked down at his own hand as if he was mystified. Whatever sensation he felt wasn’t what he expected. You smiled to yourself, foolishly hoping that you had found a way you could make amends to Kaz. If you could mend this one thing for him, allow him to interact fully with those around him instead of lingering in the outskirts, you could put to bed the fears that you were no more than your surname. Your mother’s heart could prevail.

Your thoughts stalled when you felt the faintest brush of knuckles against your cheek. You looked at Kaz and found his eyes watching you intently, as if he wanted to memorize your reaction. Your eyes were wide and you didn’t move, like you were interacting with a jumpy animal. One sudden move and they’d claw your eye out.

“When I was here last, I saw you.” You said suddenly and instantly regretted it. “In my dreams.”

His brows raised but he seemed more focused on whatever he was testing out. You felt him gently push your hair over your shoulder and his fingertips ghosted the side of your neck.

“I imagined what life could’ve been if Pekka hadn’t been so cruel…” You pulled the drawing for your cloak and glanced at it once more. As usual, your capture of Kaz’s features was as if it was a mirror, but he wore an expression you had only created in your haze. Closed eyes with a content smile, face turned towards the sun. You handed it to him and his fingers brushed yours.

You thought of making a comment, something about the touching and how he wasn’t exactly avoiding it, but you quickly decided against it. You liked the fleeting contact, and after the way you’d been torturing yourself with your secrecy, you wanted to allow yourself temporary comfort. You could pretend that you had Kaz still, even if it was only for that night, only in his room.

As soon as you would choose to leave, you’d be back to Dirtyhands against the Hood. The Dregs against the Snakes. The Rollins Princess against the Bastard of the Barrel.

So you let yourself be just Davina and Kaz, two kids forced apart and now finding their way to… something.

“You thought of me?” He asked, sounding almost breathless.

You shrugged and were glad he was looking at the sketch just so he wouldn’t see the blush spreading across your cheeks. “It may have had something to do with the fact that you were the last person I saw, or just that gnawing guilt I live with.”

His eyes met yours and they were noticeably softer than the way he normally looked. The Barrel had reshaped so much about him. You respected the man he had become, feared him enough to know the limits you could push him. Just like he said to you that not everything had changed, he still had some of his childhood traits too. A perfect example was those shining eyes, taking in a new wonder. It was a look you remembered from when you two snuck to East Stave to watch the street performers, but it left as quickly as it came.

“I should probably go.” You said finally. You had felt something shift between you two and it made you dizzy, like the world was tilting under your feet. You carefully stood, offering a kind smile as he stood with you. “Thank you for the chat. What are you charging for advice these days?”

He offered half a smile before reaching for his cane. He lifted your drawing as he followed you to the next room. “I’d say we’re even, Dear.”

“I don’t think we’ll ever be even.” You swung a leg out the window and looked back at him. He leaned against the wall near the opening.

“Davina?”

“Kaz.”

He seemed to reconsider what he was going to say. Your head tilted in quiet question but he sighed inwardly instead. The end of his cane tapped your thigh. You wondered if that was his way of telling you something, but you didn’t quite know what that was. You smiled at him regardless.

“We'll see each other soon.” You promised. “We always do.”

You didn’t wait for a response, partly because you knew there were enough pieces of you that would sit and wait in that windowsill forever, just to hear any and every word he had for you. It was unlikely you and Kaz could have that, not with his Crows counting on him and your Snakes counting on you. So you climbed out the window and back to your building.

At least the silences weren’t all consuming now and while the sound of the knife and tone of your voice still echoed in your head, it wasn’t going to suffocate you anymore. You could make peace with what you’d done. At least Kaz had given you that if nothing else.

You didn’t see much of him or the Dregs for weeks after that. It was better, you knew, but you still found yourself looking for them. Maybe you could catch a glimpse of Inej in the shadows, hear the tap of Kaz’s cane in a crowd, see the glint of Jesper’s revolvers. But those never happened. You knew you and Kaz weren’t really allies, but you weren’t exactly nemesis anymore either.

It was all rather confusing.

You and Melli were dressing in your bedroom one night. You had received an invite a few days prior to an event at the Emerald Palace. It was said that all Bosses in the Barrel received the invite, which meant that Pekka wanted to make a spectacle of something. It was a show of power, some sort of new acquisition he wanted to flaunt and was practically demanding an audience for.

“Are we sure we should go to this?” Melli asked as she pulled in the front laces of her bodice.

You convinced her to wear a dress, and she had grumbled an argument ever since, but that didn’t stop her from pulling out the best thing she owned. She dawned a dark purple dress, white ruffles lining the neckline of the corset bodice. The long sleeves hung off her shoulders but you carefully adjusted and pinned them to make sure the snake that started at the top of her shoulder was hidden.

“Not going is exactly what he wants.” You explained, fastening the front buttons of the waistcoat you were wearing over your dress.

The neckline of the dress came about two inches up your throat, which you chose to keep your snake covered, and had long sleeves with snug cuffs that easily concealed a strapped on sheath for a blade. The waistcoat added two more hidden sheaths on your ribs, deep enough for throwing knives to completely hide in. The soft skirt hung loosely around your legs, but you wore short pants under just in case you had to run or fight.

“He’s counting on me not going.” You continued. “I’m sure it’s just some brag fest about a new acquisition or something ridiculous. We’ll make an appearance, hear his spiel on his newfound power, and quietly leave.”

A quick three taps sounded on your door before it cracked open. “May I come in?” Kol asked.

“Come in, come in.” Melli beamed. You noticed she shook out her hair and brushed away imaginary lint.

He entered with a dark red shirt, a subtle nod to his Corporalnik heritage. He wore black trousers and a black waistcoat. He explained that he chose his outfit based on the kefta Heartrenders wore. The outfit suited him.

After a few finishing touches, the three of you made your way to the Emerald Palace. The doorman refused to let you in, even after you flashed the invitation you had slipped up your sleeve. He wasn’t amused by your summoning of the paper. When you wouldn’t leave, he went off to find Pekka.

“The guest of honor!” Pekka announced as he saw you. Your brows furrowed for a moment before you smiled politely.

You and your friends were led to a table at the front of a stage. The curtains were drawn and you wondered what theatrics your father had in mind. Soon after your arrival, you saw Kaz, Jesper, and Inej be led to a table beside you. Kaz ended up taking the chair closest to you.

Jesper smiled widely at you. Inej offered a polite nod. Kaz only looked at you for a moment. You waved slightly to all of them before a waiter appeared at your table.

You denied any sort of drink. After what happened at the Crow Club, you were taking no chances.

Kaz had two drinks brought to him. A few moments after they arrived, you felt a tap on your arm. You looked over and he offered you one of the glasses. You raised a brow, but he nodded slightly. A silent exchange that you both understood perfectly.

Can I trust this drink?

I wouldn’t give it to you if you couldn’t.

You took it with a small smile and turned back to your table. Immediately, Melli grabbed your hand and began teasing you for the interaction. You shook your head in amusement but Kol still stared daggers at Kaz. Clearly, your friend hadn’t forgiven Kaz for that night at the Exchange.

And when you thought about it, did you? Or were you just ignoring it?

The idle chatter seemed to drag on. You maintained ample conversation with your friends until finally, the curtain raised and the room silenced.

A performer came out, dawning a long wig that was eerily similar to your own altered hair color. You shifted slightly in your seat as you noticed the gaudy feather boa around their neck and down their arm, cut and pinned to the elbow of their sleeve. The outfit was remarkably close to what you tended to wear, down to a lazy replica of the Grisha made vest.

“Is that supposed to be…” Kol hesitantly pointed out.

“Who is that performer?” Melli asked quietly.

“Is that Poppy?” You heard Jesper.

“Who’s Poppy?” You leaned towards him.

“They used to perform at the Club.” Kaz explained. “Until they claimed to have a better offer… Seems we know what that means.”

You looked back at the stage, eyes burning and jaw clenched. Pekka had a play drawn up to make a mockery of you and the Snakes, and he wanted every gang in the Barrel to see it, but you didn’t understand why. It seemed petty and trivial, but it also seemed just the spectacle he would make. You looked over at Melli and Kol to gauge their reactions. Melli was confused, her brows furrowed and her eyes wide, but only you would know to check her hands. They were both in her lap and the small movement told you she was worrying away at the cuff of her sleeve. Kol was angry. You could see the set of his jaw, the tension in his shoulders, the fidget of his fingers.

The actor, Poppy, played out various scenes. The play fabricated how you met Melli and how you met Kol. Both were apparently people you slept with. That got a few good laughs from the crowd and you could feel Kaz staring at you for those scenes.

You didn’t look at him.

The play went on to your first encounter at the Emerald Palace. The actor playing Pekka showed him being merciful, pleading for his daughter back and offering her sanctuary with the Lions, while Poppy portrayed you as cold, striking down your father mid-sentence. That scene you were alright with.

The night at the Exchange. Again Kaz looked at you and again Poppy portrayed you as a floozy. According to the play, you were practically throwing yourself at Kaz for him to protect you. Your nails were digging deeply into your palms by then.

You were slightly relieved that at least he didn’t know about Per Haskell’s poisoning but then your stomach dropped.

The stage changed set pieces until it was a Merchant’s office, ordinary in most regards, but you knew what it was supposed to be. Any uncertainty disappeared when Poppy shared the stage with three burly actors and the one playing Pekka. Kaz’s cane tapped your shin and you knew that he knew too.

It was supposed to be the Dryden Estate.

Kaz grabbed your arm and you leaned closer to hear him. “Why is he doing this?”

“He wants everyone to know he disowned me. He must think his last name is what’s kept me alive since I left.” You answered in the same low tone. “He wants a target on my back.”

“Yes, and he’ll get it if you let this continue on.”

You straightened back in your seat. Kaz was right.

“Kol?” You said quietly and he made a small noise in response. “Drop them all. Melli?”

“Already on it.” She answered in the same low tone.

You glanced over and saw him smile at you. His hands moved quickly, Melli had reached under her skirts to pull a pistol from her leg holster, and the five people on stage fell unconscious. You stood when they hit the ground and palmed one of the blades from your waistcoat. Melli and Kol stood with you and you gestured for them to follow you to the stage.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Kaz’s head tilt in interest. Jesper’s hands disappeared from view and Inej sat up a little straighter.

“While this has been hilarious to watch.” You announced sarcastically as you took the stage. Melli stood on one side and Kol stood on the other. “I won’t sit here and be mocked any longer.”

“It’s no mockery, little one.” Pekka called from the side of the room. “It’s just the story as I know it.”

“You really think I’d need Dirtyhands to protect me?” You laughed slightly. “No offense, Pekka, but you don’t scare me that much.”

He chuckled and made a quick gesture. Several men, more than you could take on even with your friends, stood from all over the room. You gripped the blade tighter but left no other indication that you were concerned. Your head turned slowly as you surveyed the room. You ran through a thousand scenarios in a matter of seconds, and none of them ended without a few Lions dead.

Your eyes landed on the Dreg table last. Inej adjusted her coat and you saw her vest full of blades. Jesper tilted his head in acknowledgment of the pistols on his hips. Kaz was calculating some sort of plan while he looked at you.

“I’m sure this is to tell everyone in the Barrel what you said to me that night. Isn’t it? Well, I’ll save everyone the task of sitting through that and I’ll tell them myself.”

“Davina.” Kaz tried but you ignored him.

“As some of you may know, I am Davina Rollins.”

“The Princess!” Someone called out mockingly.

“Stand up!” You challenged. “Let me see who said that!”

A man stood and Kol’s hands moved quickly. The heckler wasn’t standing for long and a murmur went through the crowd. You heard the fear as they said “Heartrender”. You stood a little taller, Kol proudly beside you.

“The stories Pekka fed you tonight are just that. Stories. Twisted versions of my life since I left his house. But he knows nothing… The only truth in this whole charade would’ve been what he showed with this final scene. With a gun to my head, he said ‘You are no child of mine’. “

Another murmur through the crowd. Some said he was right to do that. Others said that they could take you down easily now. A few said Pekka was wrong to do that to his only daughter.

“We’re leaving now.” You told Pekka as you descended from the stage. Kaz held his cane towards you to help you down and you wondered what the others present thought of the gesture. “You will not have us followed and you will not move on us.”

“You don’t give orders here, Davina.” Pekka countered as you got closer.

You lifted your blade, admiring its point before you tapped it against your father’s chest. None of the Lions around him moved.

“Don’t I?” You smiled slightly. “Your Lions are men after all, and all men can be afraid.”

“Your Grisha dies first.” He spat.

“I’ll take quite a few of your Lions with me.” Kol hissed. “Tell me, Pekka. How many Lions must be lost before the Kingdom falls?”

“Shall we find out?” Melli asked and cocked her gun. You were proud of her for adding to the scene.

“Leave.” Pekka said firmly. “This is the last time I spare your life.”

You took a step back, sheathing your blade, before you dramatically curtsied. You left with your friends at your side and no one tried to stop you. No one followed.

Once you were home, you told Kol and Melli everything.

63 notes · View notes

marsplastic13 · 11 months ago

Text

'Complicated' (part 11) - Kaz Brekker x Reader

Idea - Kaz Brekker hires a prostitute to overcome his touch aversion, and be a better man for Inej, but things take an unxepected turn.

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Prostitute!Reader, (had to use y/n because I'm bad at names)

Genre: modern AU, slow burn

word count: 7.1k

notes: wasn't sure if updating both of my fics on the same day or not but I looked around and there was no one to stop me, so here we are

@millercontracting @coldmermaidhologram @syd649 @luffysprincess @cryptidghostgirl @beekeepingageissome

@hufflepuff-16

After she left the next morning, Kaz found himself reluctantly returning to the rhythm of his everyday life. With a heavy sigh, he powered on his phone for the first time in nearly a week. Messages from Inej awaited him, reminders of a life he was still tethered to despite the tumultuous path he had chosen. His thumb scrolled through their conversations, tracing a history of promises, affection, and the mundane details of their lives intertwined. The ache in his chest was palpable as he revisited photos she had sent, words of longing and love that now felt like shards of broken promises.

Her harsh words echoed through his mind, but time had dulled their sharpness, rendering them less important and less vivid. He questioned the clarity of his memories—had Inej truly been that mad, or had he distorted her anger through the lens of his own guilt and frustration? The more he pondered, the more the lines blurred. Was he simply grasping for an excuse to run to Y/n, to justify his actions and calm his conscience?

He remembered the night of the argument with Inej, her eyes flashing with a mix of hurt and anger. Her words had cut deep, but now, in retrospect, he wondered if he had overemphasized their severity. Did she genuinely believe the things she had hurled at him, or were they borne from a moment of vulnerability? His own response had been less than ideal, driven by a volatile cocktail of defensiveness and shame.

Scrolling through her messages, every promise he had made to Inej, every "I miss you" and "I love you", felt like they were written in sand, vulnerable to the tide of his shifting emotions. The pictures she had sent him from her travels, the little reminders that she was thinking of him—these were the threads of a relationship that he was now considering severing. He could almost feel her presence as he scrolled through their chat, each one a testament to their love, yet each one now weighed with the burden of his doubts.

His mind kept circling back to Y/n. Was she a genuine new beginning, or a convenient escape? The more he considered it, the less clear the answer became. He knew he was drawn to her, irresistibly so, but was it fair to put the blame for his actions solely on his feelings for her?

Kaz had to admit to himself that perhaps he had been searching for an out, a way to justify moving on without fully confronting the mistakes he had made with Inej. He was caught in a web of his own making, unsure which strands were real and which were merely illusions. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that no matter how much he tried to rationalize his choices, the underlying truth was inescapable: he had betrayed Inej's trust, and there was no simple way to reconcile that with his feelings for Y/n.

He shook his head, pushing these thoughts to the side as he refocused on the task at hand: ensuring the Crow Club was still standing and that his boss didn’t fire him. He could talk to Inej another time.

But 'another time' kept getting delayed, and Kaz soon found himself immersed in a new routine with Y/n, their days blending together in a haze of new comfort and desire.

***

One particularly difficult day, after a grueling meeting that had gone poorly, Kaz found himself in his car, trying to shake off the frustration. He leaned back, loosening his tie.

He checked his phone, hoping for a distraction. ‘Do you need me to pick you up at the gym?’ he texted Y/n, she usually got out around that time.

She replied with a picture of herself in bed and the message, ‘Got my period.’

Kaz frowned, dialing her number while starting the car. "What?" she asked.

"I thought you used birth control to skip your period," he said, confused.

"Yeah, didn’t have one in years. A client asked me to—” her voice trailed off, “You know what? It’s gross. I’ll spare you the details.”

Kaz hummed in acknowledgment, relieved. "Thanks, love. Do you want to do something?"

"Cry," she replied, annoyance evident in her voice. "Are you coming here?"

"Already on my way," he said without hesitation.

***

One evening, Kaz was getting ready to head out, meticulously fixing his hair in the mirror, when two messages popped up on his phone, derailing his focus. His stomach sank as he read them.

‘Kaz, can you stop avoiding me, please? I leave in two days,’ read the message from Inej.

‘Sorry baby, something came up. I can’t make it tonight,’ from Y/n.

It felt like the planets had aligned to royally screw him over. Kaz’s heart raced with the realization that he couldn't avoid the confrontation any longer. Inej was right; they couldn't drag this situation out any more. Torn between frustration and guilt, he left Y/n on read, knowing it was petty and immature, but unable to help himself. He quickly responded to Inej, telling her he was free right then. Now or never, he thought.

Before Inej arrived, Kaz hurriedly tried to erase any signs of Y/n’s increasingly constant presence. He felt a pang of guilt as he hid a vape she had left on the coffee table and straightened up the bathroom, removing her toiletries from the sink.

Half an hour later, a knock on the door announced Inej’s arrival. She greeted him with a kiss on the cheek, her smile tentative. They sat on the couch, the atmosphere between them thick with tension and unspoken words.

“So, how have you been? Jesper told me you were in Lij last week,” Inej started cheerfully, attempting to break the ice.

Lies and more lies, Kaz thought bitterly. “Yeah, everything’s good. What about you?” he replied, forcing calm into his voice.

“Good, good,” Inej said, glancing around the room. “Look, Kaz, I’m sorry for what I said.”

“So you don’t think that?” Kaz asked, his tone sharp.

Inej sighed, reaching for his hand. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be intimate with someone again, and I thought our issues matched, yeah. I’m sorry if it came out harsher than I intended.”

Kaz scoffed, his anger bubbling up. “You knew I always wanted to be better. You thought I would never be able to do it.”

“I… I thought that you would overcome some things, like holding hands or kissing, but no, I never thought you would ever want to try to go further,” she admitted.

“What do you think we should do?” he asked, looking directly at her.

“What do you mean?” she seemed genuinely surprised.

“About us,” he clarified.

Inej’s eyes widened, confusion and fear crossing her face. “Are you… are you breaking up with me, Kaz?”

He sighed heavily, feeling his strength and resolve to end things leaving him. “I don’t know, Nej, you hurt me.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, brushing her thumb on his palm, the gesture intimate yet distant.

“What if we want different things?” he asked, the unspoken ‘What if I cheated on you?’ hanging in the air between them.

“We’ll figure it out,” she said, moving closer to him.

Kaz’s mind raced. Could they really figure it out? Was it fair to Inej to try when his heart was increasingly entangled with Y/n? He thought about the nights spent with Y/n, the way she made him feel alive and understood in ways he hadn’t felt in a long time. He thought about how Y/n made him forget his own hesitations and fears, and how he had started to rely on her presence as a balm for his troubled mind.

But he also remembered the history he shared with Inej, the bond forged in shared struggles and victories. Could he really throw that away? Was his relationship with Y/n built on a solid foundation, or was it simply an escape from his own failures and insecurities?

As Inej moved closer, he felt a pang of guilt. Here was a woman who had stood by him through thick and thin, who knew his darkest secrets and still chose to stay.

He nodded, surrendering at her.

Kaz woke up to an empty bed and a note from Inej, saying she had gone to the coffee shop nearby for breakfast. He stretched, feeling the stiffness in his muscles ease as he sat up. The morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow over the room. He was just starting to wake up when the door opened, and Inej walked in, balancing two cups and a bag of pastries.

“You have no idea who I just ran into,” Inej said as she entered, her voice filled with curiosity and amusement.

“Who?” Kaz asked, taking his coffee from her and hiding behind the cup.

“Y/N! Your boss's ex-girlfriend,” she clarified, as if he could have forgotten who she was.

“No way,” he responded, trying to keep his tone neutral as he sipped his coffee.

“Yeah,” Inej continued, her tone light and conversational. “She’s always been a bit weird. When I spotted her, she was asking the waiter to write something like ‘sorry for yesterday night’ on the cup.”

Kaz’s eyes widened, his heart pounding in his chest. He focused on his coffee, trying to keep his composure as Inej went on.

“Of course, I went to say hi,” she said, taking a sip of her tea. “And she looked at me like she saw a ghost. Weird, but okay.”

Kaz couldn’t focus on her words, his mind racing with the implications of what she was saying.

“So, I asked her what she was doing around here since I remember she told me she lives in another neighborhood,” Inej continued, oblivious to his inner turmoil. “She told me a guy she's seeing lives nearby! What a coincidence! I told her you live right around the corner!”

“Yeah, what a coincidence,” Kaz whispered, feeling a cold dread settle in his stomach.

“She asked if I was getting you breakfast, and I told her we had a fight but made up yesterday, and I wanted to do something nice since I leave tomorrow. And you know what she does?”

Kaz shook his head, unsure of what to expect.

“She says we’re really cute and then said she wasn’t that sorry for yesterday night, threw one of the coffees in the bin, and stormed out!” Inej laughed. “Can you believe it? Didn’t even say goodbye!”

Kaz shrugged, hiding the rising panic within him. The thought of what could have happened haunted his mind. Y/N had been coming to his house, ready to apologize for canceling the night before, and he hadn’t even let her know that Inej was there or that they had reconciled.

He silently thanked Ghezen that Y/N and Inej met at the coffee shop and not at his doorstep. He had no idea of how he could’ve justified y/n presence to Inej.

“Kaz?” Inej’s voice pulled him from his thoughts. “Are you okay?”

He forced a smile, nodding. “Yeah, just a lot on my mind.”

She gave him a concerned look but didn’t press further. Kaz knew he had to find Y/N and set things right before it was too late.

Kaz stared at his phone, the weight of his decisions pressing down on him. He sent a quick message to Y/n: ‘Everything okay?’

A few minutes later, her reply came: ‘Feeling guilty?’ Of course, she saw right through him. ‘You should :)’ she added.

He shook his head, but a third message captured his attention. It was a picture of the previous night, Y/n holding the toddler she sometimes babysitted. ‘Yesterday’s date. Jealous?’

Kaz felt a pang of jealousy mixed with something deeper. He couldn’t help but notice how good she looked with a baby in her arms. “A lot,” he replied.

Maybe she wasn’t as mad as he feared.

***

Inej left the next day with a promise to return in a month and a small kiss on his lips. Kaz sat in his car, still in the harbor parking lot, unsure of his next move. He wanted to reach out to Y/n but wasn’t sure what to say. Where were their boundaries now?

He decided to call her anyway. “Your girlfriend’s seat is still warm, love, what do you want?” she replied playfully. She was right, of course.

“What are you doing?” he asked, starting the car.

“Babysitting. I’m at the park.”

“Again?”

“The parents want the second one.”

“Oh,” he frowned.

“Yeah.”

They both sat in silence for a moment. Then, he gave in. “Send me your location. I’m coming.”

When he arrived, he found Y/n with the toddler asleep in her arms. “I was supposed to tire you out, not put you to sleep,” she protested softly.

“Even babies think you’re boring,” Kaz commented, immediately looking for her Switch in her bag.

“You didn’t sound so bored when you asked me to marry you and have your children,” she retorted with a satisfied smirk.

He glanced at her, blushing slightly. “Fair point.”

“You know that I brought the switch for her, right? Not for you.”

“She can go play around. I can't ”

y/n hummed, still trying to keep the toddler awake. “Do you want kids?” he asked, finally setting aside the game. “You look good with them.”

Y/n raised her eyebrows as much as her Botox allowed. “What now?”

“I mean, you seem good with them,” he desperately tried to correct his slip-up. “I didn’t—”

“Come on, Kaz, not the breeding kink, with all the fun things we could do,” she whined, laughing.

“I don’t have a breeding kink,” he weakly protested, still cursing himself.

“Really? Because it sure seems like it,” she teased, a playful glint in her eye. “First, you tell me you would have kids with me if that’s what I want. Then, you’re begging to do it without protection. What’s next, Kaz?”

Kaz groaned, his cheeks flushing. “I was just caught up in the moment, and you’re on birth control.”

“Sure you were,” she laughed, clearly enjoying his discomfort. “Face it, you’ve got a bit of a breeding kink. Admit it.”

He looked away, trying to hide his embarrassment. “I don’t. It’s just... I care about you.”

“Right, because caring about me totally explains why you keep bringing up babies,” she said, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

Kaz ran a hand through his hair, feeling the heat rise in his face. “Can we drop this?”

“No way, this is too much fun,” she grinned. “I mean, come on, Kaz. Just own it.”

He shook his head, still blushing furiously. “You’re impossible.”

“And you’re adorable when you’re embarrassed,” she teased, poking his side. “But seriously, it’s kind of sweet. Weird, but sweet.”

“Sweet?” he scoffed. “I’m not sweet.”

“Oh, you so are. Especially when you’re all flustered like this,” she said, leaning in closer. “But don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

Kaz sighed, trying to regain his composure. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Not a chance,” she grinned. “But it’s okay. I kind of like the idea of you being at least a bit twisted, sexually speaking.”

He rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at his lips. “Why do I keep talking with you?”

“Accept your fate, love,” she concluded, shoving him playfully. “Your undeniable kinks aside, yeah, I think I’m going to have children one day. What about you?”

“I don’t know. I never gave it much thought. I thought I could never have sex, so…” his voice trailed off. “And Inej doesn’t want any.”

Y/n laughed. “I’m not asking about Inej.”

“Well, I don’t know. I don’t really like babies,” he shrugged, still refusing to acknowledge how good she looked playing with the toddler.

Despite the distraction, Kaz couldn't shake the guilt that settled in his chest, mingling with a confusing mix of emotions. He wanted to speak, to apologize, but he found himself at a loss for words. The silence stretched, heavy and uncomfortable.

“Are you mad about the other day?” he finally asked, breaking the silence.

“Why should I be?” she replied, her tone casual but with an edge that cut through him.

“I told you I would break up with her,” he said, his voice tinged with guilt and frustration.

Kaz watched as Y/n sighed and shook her head. “Kaz, let’s make this clear. I don’t care. She’s not my girlfriend, I don’t know her. I still watch her videos because she’s hot as hell, but we're not even friends.” She turned to look at him, her eyes piercing through his facade. “You want to go down this path of lies and sneaking out? That’s my everyday thing. You’re not my boyfriend and I don’t want you to be. So it’s your call, I’m not going to stop you.”

Kaz sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. He felt a lump form in his throat, her words hitting harder than he expected. He thought he was prepared for her honesty, but hearing it out loud was different. He had always prided himself on being in control, but with her, things were different. She made him question everything he thought he knew about himself.

“You want to play girlfriend with me while she’s away? Let’s do it. It’s not me you’re lying to. Come on, love, how much time passed between her leaving and you calling me? Five minutes?”

He closed his eyes, the truth of her words hitting him hard. It was even less than five minutes. He had reached out to Y/n almost immediately, seeking company and distraction.

“I like spending time with you. I tried to stop you and make you reason, but I thought about it. I’m not the person that should tell you what is right and what is not. Do you want to promise me you’re going to leave her for me? Do it, you’re lying to yourself. Plus, cheating makes sex great.”

“I should feel more guilty about it,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t like how I’m treating you.”

“It’s fine, Kaz. I like the drama and, well, that’s always how it goes for me—the other woman,” she said, her tone less cheerful and more resigned.

Kaz threw his head back, the weight of her remark sinking in. It hurt. He hated when she reminded him that he was no better than the other men she’d been with. She was right, and it stung.

He looked at her, watching how easily she managed the toddler, how natural she seemed in that role. He found himself wondering what kind of future they could have together if things were different. But those thoughts were quickly overshadowed by the reality of their situation.

“Y/n,” he began, his voice thick with emotion. “You deserve better than this. Better than me.”

She turned to him, her eyes softening slightly. “I’m not looking for forever, Kaz. I don’t want ‘better’. I mean, look at you,” she laughed, a bitter edge to her tone, “how fucking messed up is your life right now? And why? Because you can’t let go of your teenage crush? Sorry, but I don’t want to end up like you, it’s sad.”

Kaz frowned, the sting of her words hitting deep. “There’s no need to be mean now.”

“Someone has to do a reality check on you sometimes,” she shrugged, her voice unapologetic. “Also, I am mean, baby, I won’t sugarcoat this to make you feel better. I’m not your saintly girlfriend. And by the way, she’s not saintly at all. She’s really passive-aggressive. You should have seen how she looked at him the other day.”

“Come on, Y/n, calm down.”

“I am super calm, Kaz. Super chill.” She leaned in, her eyes locking onto his with a predatory gleam. “I just want to see how fast you run to my bed while she’s sleeping in yours.” She whispered the words before kissing him, her lips pressing against his with a fierceness that made his resolve crumble.

Kaz hated how he melted into her mouth. She could be as mean as she wanted if it meant she’d let him kiss her venomous lips. The taste of her was intoxicating, pulling him deeper into a web of conflicting desires and emotions.

He broke the kiss, breathless, trying to regain some semblance of control. “This isn’t right,” he murmured, though his hands betrayed him by lingering on her waist.

“No, it’s not,” she agreed, her voice softening slightly. “You’re no better than me Kaz, accept it.”

Before he could answer, two old women approached them, their faces lighting up with smiles. “Your baby is so beautiful,” they started cooing at the toddler in Y/n’s arms.

“Yeah, she’s all daddy,” Y/n said, glancing at Kaz with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

He snorted but played along, accepting the compliments from the ladies. “Thanks, she’s a handful,” he added, a smirk tugging at his lips.

The women beamed, one of them reaching out to tickle the baby’s chubby cheek. “You must be so proud,” the other one said, looking between Kaz and Y/n.

“Oh, we are,” Y/n replied, her voice dripping with faux sincerity. “She’s the light of our lives.”

The older of the two women chuckled. “She looks just like you, young man,” she said to Kaz. “Got your eyes and everything.”

Kaz smiled, glancing at the toddler. “Yeah, she does. Got her mother’s smile, though,” he added, nodding toward Y/n.

“You make such a lovely family,” the second woman said, her eyes twinkling with warmth. “How old is she?”

“Just turned two,” Y/n answered smoothly, bouncing the toddler gently. “Keeps us on our toes.”

“Do you have any more children?” the first woman asked, her curiosity piqued.

“Not yet,” y/n replied, her voice steady. “But we’re definitely trying, right love?”

Kaz shot her a sideways glance, his eyes sparkling. “Oh, absolutely,” he said, playing along. “It’s a full-time job, but we love every minute of it.”

The two women chuckled, clearly charmed by the young “family.” “Well, you two are doing a wonderful job,” the second woman said. “It’s nice to see such a happy, young family.”

“Thank you,” Kaz said, his hand resting lightly on Y/n’s back. “We do our best.”

As the women walked away, Kaz let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Y/n turned to him, amusement dancing in her eyes. “Trying, huh?” he teased.

“Shut up, you liked it.”

Kaz shrugged, a faint blush creeping up his neck.

Y/n turned to him, a smirk playing on her lips. “You handled that well, Daddy.”

He rolled his eyes but couldn’t help grinning. “You’re incorrigible, you know that?”

She shrugged, adjusting the toddler in her arms. “What can I say? I enjoy a good roleplay.”

Kaz shook his head, the smile lingering. Despite everything, he found himself drawn to her playful nature. It was a stark contrast to the seriousness that usually dominated his life.

“So, plans for tonight, mommy?” he smirked, unable to resist teasing her further.

Y/n’s gaze rolled over his body, a playful glint in her eyes. “Of course it turns you on,” he sighed, shaking his head.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not a blushing, shy schoolgirl like you are?” she shot back, her tone light but firm.

“I think I’ll need constant reminders,” he replied, his eyes locked on hers.

"I have a date later," she said, looking away casually.

Kaz hesitated, his brow furrowing. "Are you going to sleep with him?"

Y/n sighed, a hint of resignation in her voice. "I don't know, probably. I'm not very good at saying no."

"Do you even like him?" Kaz pressed, his tone tinged with concern.

She chuckled softly, shaking her head. "Not exactly my type, but he made a reservation at a restaurant with a waiting list of months and promised me Ozempic."

Kaz's glare intensified. "Tell me you're kidding, or I swear I'll kidnap you."

"Kinky," she teased, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Yes, I'm kidding. Relax."

He studied her carefully, trying to gauge her sincerity.

"Kaz, if you're about to tell me that you can bring me to that restaurant, I'm going to punch you," she warned, half-serious.

"Fine," he rolled his eyes, relenting.

She grinned triumphantly, enjoying the playful banter. Kaz couldn't help but smile despite himself, the tension between them easing momentarily. Their dynamic was always a mix of sharp wit and unspoken longing, a delicate balance they both struggled to maintain.

***

As Kaz sat alone in his apartment, the glow of the television casting flickering shadows around the room, he tried to distract himself with a movie. Yet, his mind kept drifting back to y/n and the evening's revelations. He absentmindedly scrolled through Instagram, the images of y/n in that opulent setting catching his attention again and again. The restaurant looked lavish.

But when he stumbled upon another person’s post—a picture in the exact same place y/n was —Kaz's jaw clenched involuntarily. Nikolai Lanstov was there. It couldn't be a coincidence. A wave of emotions surged through him—jealousy, suspicion, and an urgent need for answers.

He didn't hesitate. With a quick and terse message, he asked her outright, ‘Are you with Lanstov?’

The response came swiftly, almost too swiftly: ‘Yeah, you know him?’

Kaz gritted his teeth. He did know Nikolai, all too well. ‘Yes.’

Instead of evading or denying, y/n surprised him with a selfie of them together, an invitation laced with challenge: ‘Join us for drinks?’

Kaz felt a surge of possessiveness rise within him. He couldn't stand the thought of y/n spending time with Nikolai, of him wooing her with his charm and wealth. He knew he couldn't hide the turmoil inside him, nor did he want to. This wasn't about appearances or pride—it was about a visceral need to ensure y/n remained out of Nikolai's reach. He didn't care about appearing jealous or possessive. ‘On my way.’

Arriving at the upscale venue, Kaz was greeted by Nikolai's knowing grin. Their exchange was polite yet loaded with unspoken rivalry. "Dirtyhands," Nikolai acknowledged.

"Sturmhond," Kaz replied evenly, the old nicknames from their days of competition resurfacing effortlessly.

"Brekker."

"Lantsov."

Throughout their conversation, y/n watched them with an amused expression, her eyes darting between them like she was enjoying a tennis match. Kaz couldn't help but notice how she seemed to revel in their banter, as if she was testing their limits.

Nikolai, ever the provocateur, raised a playful eyebrow. “How's Inej?”

Kaz's response was swift, deflecting with practiced ease: “How's Zoya?”

They stared at each other with narrowed eyes.

Then y/n interjected, her tone teasing and her smile mischievous. "Oh, please go on," she urged, her tongue playing with the straw in her drink. "So you really know each other?"

Nikolai leaned back with a knowing smirk. “Of course. Me and Brekker go way back. The real question is, how do you two know each other?”

Y/n turned to Kaz, her gaze expectant. Kaz met her eyes confidently, a crooked smile playing on his lips. “She's my personal trainer,” he replied smoothly.

"I’m sure she is," laughed Nikolai, ordering another round with a movement of his hand.

Y/n's eyes kept darting between the two, with a dangerous smile on her lips.

"You know, I would really love to see Paris tonight," she said, getting up. "I'll go fix my makeup. I'll leave you to it." She briefly touched Kaz's shoulder before moving away.

Nikolai leaned back, "Fuck," he muttered, snorting.

"What?" asked Kaz, completely lost.

"Seriously, Brekker?" He asked, but Kaz frowned more, "She just asked for a threesome."

Kaz's jaw clenched at Nikolai's remark, his eyebrows knitting together in disbelief. He couldn't believe what he had just heard, and the implication sent a rush of discomfort through him. His mind raced, grappling with how to respond without letting his unease show too clearly.

"That's… not going to happen." Kaz said, his voice a mixture of incredulity and unease. He leaned slightly forward, his eyes narrowing as he searched Nikolai's face for any hint of jest or deception.

Nikolai leaned back, a smirk playing on his lips as he appraised Kaz's reaction, "I'm sure she'll be disappointed," he teased lightly, as if testing Kaz's reaction further.

Kaz leaned back, shaking his head.

"So you're sleeping with her?" Nikolai asked, his tone laced with curiosity and a hint of amusement.

Kaz hesitated, weighing his words carefully. "Something had happened," he admitted vaguely, unwilling to delve into the specifics of his complicated relationship with y/n.

Nikolai raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "That's why you ran here? Scared of the competition?" he teased lightly, his voice carrying a playful edge.

"Of you? You wish," Kaz retorted dryly, a touch of defensiveness in his tone. He glanced around the upscale establishment, suddenly feeling acutely aware of the dynamics at play. Nikolai was charismatic and charming, qualities that had undoubtedly attracted y/n's attention.

Nikolai chuckled softly, taking another sip of his drink. "Come now, Brekker," he said with a smirk, leaning back in his chair. "I know how these things go."

Kaz's jaw tightened imperceptibly, his gaze narrowing slightly as he considered Nikolai's words. He knew the game all too well—the subtle dance of attraction, jealousy, and power.

"She's not a game to me," Kaz stated firmly, his voice cutting through the ambient noise of the restaurant. His eyes locked onto Nikolai's, conveying a rare sincerity and vulnerability.

Nikolai's expression softened, his playful demeanor giving way to a more serious acknowledgment. "Are you sure you’re not a game to her?” he asked, his tone carrying a mix of curiosity and genuine concern.

Kaz felt a pang of discomfort at the question, realizing Nikolai's astuteness in probing the complexities of his relationship with y/n. He hesitated, unsure how to respond to the implication that he might be just another piece in y/n's intricate puzzle.

Nikolai leaned back in his chair, a knowing smile lingering on his lips. "You know, I didn’t make you the cheating type, Brekker," he remarked casually, his eyes glinting with amusement.

Kaz bristled slightly at the comment, his jaw tightening as he mulled over Nikolai's words. "You're literally here with another woman, how many dates did you have?" he retorted, his voice edged with a mixture of defensiveness and skepticism.

"This is the third," Nikolai replied nonchalantly, as if keeping track of such details was inconsequential to him.

Before their banter could continue further, y/n returned to their table, her presence instantly commanding attention. She locked eyes with Nikolai, a playful smirk dancing on her lips.

"He said no, right?" she asked, gesturing towards Kaz with a teasing glint in her eyes.

Nikolai chuckled, amused by the interaction. "Yeah, I’m sorry, sweetheart. Looks like we’ll have to do without him," he said with mock disappointment, kissing her hand gallantly.

Y/n giggled at Nikolai's theatrics, her eyes flickering between him and Kaz. Her gaze held a hint of mischief, as if she were enjoying the dynamic between the two men.

Kaz watched the exchange with a mix of bemusement and mild irritation, feeling like a pawn in their playful game.

The night brought more drinks and more playful tension, and the moment of heading home arrived.

“I’m getting you home,” said Kaz firmly.

Y/n looked at him with an intoxicated smile. “Are you jealous?” she whispered in his ear. Kaz glanced at Nikolai, who had moved away to greet someone else.

“Admit it and I’m yours for the night,” she added, her breath warm against his skin.

“Yes, I’m jealous,” he admitted, his voice low and sincere.

“Good boy,” she whispered, satisfied. Y/n got up to say goodbye to Nikolai, who turned to glance at Kaz.

“Next one is mine, Brekker,” Nikolai said with a smirk.

Kaz shook his head, sliding an arm around on her back and guiding her to his car. The possessive gesture felt right, and he relished the way her body fit against his side.

“Are you taking me to your house?” she asked, her voice laced with anticipation, recognizing the streets they were making.

“Yes,” he replied, clutching the steering wheel with one hand and resting the other firmly on her thigh.

“You could have told me sooner,” she said, leaning into the contact. “You’re hot while you drive.”

“You think so?” he asked, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

“Yeah, a lot,” she confirmed.

“Do you like my hair?” he asked impulsively. “I have a friend who always says it’s awful.”

Y/N’s eyes sparkled with amusement as she looked at him, her lips curling into a playful smile. “I like it,” she said without hesitation. “Especially when it’s completely disheveled and falls on your forehead. You look so hot after a shower that I just want to fuck you senseless and then cuddle you so much and so sweetly until you start crying and talking about how much you miss your mother.”

Kaz felt his face heat up, his usual composed demeanor faltering. The vividness of her words left him momentarily speechless. He watched as Y/N leaned over, her hand reaching out to mess his hair playfully, her touch light and affectionate.

“That’s… awfully detailed, please don’t do it,” he managed to say, his voice a mix of embarrassment and amusement. The image she painted was both flattering and unsettling.

Y/N laughed, a soft, melodic sound that eased the tension. “Too much?” she teased, her eyes meeting his with a warmth that reassured him.

Kaz nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Just a bit,” he replied, feeling a strange comfort in her playful honesty.

Y/n hummed, a pleased sound, and put on some music. The low hum of the car and the rhythmic beats of the music created an intimate atmosphere. She closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of his hand on her thigh and the steady vibration of the car beneath them.

Kaz’s mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. He was used to control, to always having the upper hand, but Y/n had a way of disarming him. Her boldness, her carefree attitude, and the way she seemed to understand his darker edges left him feeling both exposed and exhilarated. As they drove through the quiet streets, he found himself stealing glances at her, marveling at how easily she fit into his life, even if it was in this chaotic, unconventional way.

As they pulled up to his place, Y/n’s fingers danced over his arm, tracing invisible patterns. “You know, I like jealous-Kaz,” she murmured, her lips curving into a seductive smile.

“Don’t get used to it,” he warned, though his tone lacked its usual edge.

“Too late,” she said, leaning in to press a kiss to his jaw. “Way too late.”

They got out of the car, and he led her inside, his hand still firmly on her waist. The night was far from over.

They fell asleep tangled, sweaty, and sticky, a situation Kaz never thought he could find himself in. The sheets were a mess, wrapped around their legs and clinging to their damp skin. His breathing was heavy, matching hers, as they lay there in his bedroom. Y/n's head rested on his chest, her hair a wild tangle across his skin.

The thought of sharing his bed, of falling asleep so intimately entwined with another person, had always seemed foreign, even impossible. Yet here he was, his arm draped protectively around her, his fingers lazily tracing patterns on her back.

***

Kaz was awakened by the door opening and closing, followed by Jesper's voice.

“What are you doing here?” he heard him ask Y/n.

“Breakfast, what are you doing here?” she retorted.

“Inej just left and I wanted to check on Kaz, but I guess he already found someone else to entertain himself with,” commented Jesper dryly.

Kaz sighed, knowing he wasn't ready to deal with them.

Y/n remained unfazed, “Should I add a plate for you?”

“I thought you were vegan.”

“I am,” she replied calmly.

“So you're cooking just for him?” Jesper's tone held a note of incredulity.

“Do you have a problem with it? I like cooking.”

“I’m just surprised, that’s all. Kaz isn’t exactly the breakfast-in-bed type.”

Kaz could imagine Y/n smirking. “Maybe you just don’t know him as well as you think.”

Kaz dragged himself out of bed, still rubbing his eyes, and entered the kitchen. “Morning,” he said, reaching Y/n and kissing her temple. He knew that his back, covered in scratches, was on full display, so there was no point in hiding it anymore.

“Unbelievable,” muttered Jesper under his breath. “How can you be so calm about admitting to cheating on your girlfriend? I shouldn't be seeing any of this.”

“Then stop entering my house uninvited,” replied Kaz, annoyed, while Y/n placed two plates in front of them. “Thanks, love.”

Jesper was too distracted by breakfast to notice the affectionate name, luckily.

Y/n started taking her pills, and Jesper looked at her puzzled. “Don't ask,” said Kaz, poking her side and making her pill fall.

“Kaz! That was my birth control, you idiot!” she protested, and he paled visibly. “Yeah, you better get down and look for it.”

Quickly, Kaz got on the floor, and Jesper almost choked on his bite.

“You have about an hour, baby, look faster,” she said, a bit amused.

“Seriously, Kaz? Not even protection? I mean,” Jesper turned to Y/n, “you should be an expert on this.”

“I am, but you should hear how he begs,” she said, eyeing Kaz with a playful smirk.

“Y/n, oversharing,” reminded Kaz from the floor, slightly panicking.

Jesper shook his head, barely able to suppress his laughter. “This is a new low, even for you, Kaz.”

“Just... help me look for the damn pill,” Kaz grumbled, his face burning with embarrassment.

Y/n leaned against the counter, watching them with amusement. “I guess this is a bonding moment for you two,” she teased.

“Hardly,” Kaz muttered, finally spotting the pill under the table and reaching for it. He stood up, holding it triumphantly. “Got it.”

Y/n took it from him and swallowed it quickly. “Thank you,” she said, patting his cheek.

Kaz rolled his eyes, sitting back down at the table. “Let's just eat.”

Jesper was really conflicted about all the unraveling of events, more than anything about the revelation that the two were actually sleeping together and were really chill about it.

Y/n left, leaving the two friends alone. Jesper hit Kaz hard in the arm. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were sleeping with her?”

Kaz massaged his arm, feeling the sting of the unexpected blow. “Because I have a girlfriend, theoretically?”

“In fact, as Inej’s friend, I’m absolutely furious with you, but as your friend, it was fucking time, man! You have to tell me everything.”

Kaz chuckled nervously, his mind racing. Inej. The thought of her brought a pang of guilt. “I really do not have to tell you anything,” he said, trying to keep his tone light but failing to mask his discomfort.

“Come on, I need details,” Jesper pressed, leaning forward with eager anticipation.

Kaz sighed, running a hand through his disheveled hair. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything? How did it happen? Was it awkward? Did you—”

“Jesper!” Kaz interrupted, feeling the heat rise in his face. “Do you really need to know all the details?”

Jesper smirked. “Of course I do. You know this is a big deal, right? Your first time isn’t something to gloss over.”

Kaz sighed, resigning himself to the conversation. “Fine. It was... intense. She made me feel comfortable, and it just happened naturally. When our arrangement was still standing, things were heating up really fast, so it just felt right.”

Jesper leaned in closer, his eyes gleaming with curiosity. “How do I have to spell it? Details!”

Kaz rolled his eyes, feeling the heat rise in his face again. “I’m not giving you details! I’m just going to say that I understand why she made a career out of it.”

Jesper's eyes widened even more. “Wow, she must be really good, huh?”

Kaz rubbed the back of his neck, feeling awkward. “Yes, Jesper, she’s very... talented. Can we move on now?”

“Talented?” Jesper teased, nudging Kaz with his elbow. “Come on, you’ve got to give me something. How did it start? When did things change?”

Kaz sighed again, trying to find the right words. “The night I went to her house, telling her that I wanted her. She stopped me and told me to go back to Inej but said that if I ever came back to her like that in the middle of the night, she wouldn't stop me anymore. And after my fight with Inej, I went straight to her, and well, she didn’t.”

Jesper whistled low. “Damn, Kaz. That’s... intense. So you just went for it?”

Kaz nodded, remembering the raw emotion of that night. “Yeah, I did. It felt like everything I’d been holding back just came out all at once.”

Jesper leaned back, still processing everything. “And how do you feel about it now? About her?”

Kaz looked down, contemplating his feelings. “It’s complicated, Jesper. I care about Inej, but Y/n... she’s different. She makes me feel things I didn’t know I could feel. But she doesn’t want a serious thing, and I can’t manage to man up enough to break up with Inej.”

Jesper raised an eyebrow, surprised at Kaz’s vulnerability. “So you’re stuck in the middle, huh? That’s rough.”

“Yeah,” Kaz admitted, frustration creeping into his voice. “Inej deserves better than this, but I can’t let go of Y/n. She’s like a drug I can’t quit.”

Jesper nodded thoughtfully. “Have you talked to Y/n about what you want?”

Kaz shook his head. “She’s made it clear she’s not interested in anything serious. And honestly, I don’t know if I am either. It’s just... easier this way, even if it’s wrong.”

Jesper sighed, rubbing his temples. “Kaz, you’ve got to figure this out. You can’t keep stringing both of them along. It’s not fair to anyone, especially you.”

“I know,” Kaz said quietly. “But every time I try to make a decision, I freeze. It’s like I’m paralyzed.”

Jesper leaned forward, looking his friend in the eye. “You just need to decide what you really want and go for it.”

Kaz gave a small smile. “Easier said than done.”

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x you #six of crows #six of crows fanfic #soc #kaz brekker fluff #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker angst #kaz brekker x female reader

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soulrph · 1 year ago

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this is a loving reminder that just because your character is set in a specific universe, doesn't mean they have to stay there. likewise, other people's muses might be originally based in a particular world, but that absolutely doesn't mean that they want to keep them in that world. the wonderful part of the rpc is that we actually don't need to take things so seriously! what does it matter if ted lasso woke up in the same universe as tony stark? does it really make any massive issue for us to put shrek and kaz brekker into the same thread? not at all! go wild! don't let the fictional boundaries of fictional franchises stop you from having fun! the purpose of the rpc is to have a good time with one another: we don't need to have a fully fleshed out reason for these characters to interact! we can just throw them together and see what happens! so go forth, have tons of fun, and don't let logic stand in the way of anything on this dash!

#ooc.#mobile.#psa.#( this felt important to say )#( idek why )#( i guess lately i've noticed a rise in people feeling like their fantasy character is restricted? )#( but i've been having so much fun just throwing canon characters into my multi and having them interact )#( like we don't need to panic about making sense )#( this is tumblr not college )

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ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes · 2 days ago

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Your's in Every Name

pairing: kaz brekker x fem!reader

genre: mostly fluff

requested? yes

The Dregs knew little about Y/N. And that was exactly how she liked it.

She had been living in Ketterdam for nearly a year now, tucked into the chaos and grime of the Barrel, cloaked not just in coats and scarves but in lies and reinvention. Her past — palaces and politics, gold-threaded gowns, the stifling title of “Princess of Ravka” — was something she’d shed like an old skin. Something she’d fled.

It had been her choice to disappear.

And Kaz Brekker, for all his sharp instincts and hunger for secrets, had respected that she had hers.

He never asked about the royal lilt in her voice when she got tired. Never questioned the flash of steel behind her eyes when she spoke of noblemen. Never pushed when she told him only that she “wanted to choose her own life.”

Maybe that’s why she had fallen in love with him.

Kaz, for all his cruelty and calculation, had given her the freedom she never had in a palace. And slowly — painfully, carefully — he let her in too. A touch of her fingers on his gloved hand, a rare smile just for her, the soft rasp of her name when they were alone. It was quiet and complicated and utterly theirs.

But nothing stays buried forever.

Not in Ketterdam.

The job was supposed to be routine. In and out, no unnecessary bloodshed. Sturmhond — that ridiculous Ravkan privateer — had asked for a meeting on neutral ground. Kaz didn’t trust him, of course, but he was offering good kruge for some stolen Zemeni schematics.

Kaz went, as always, with Y/N at his side.

The meeting was aboard The Volkvolny, docked at Slavers’ Pier, with sunlight glinting off its golden sails. The air smelled of sea salt and secrets. Y/N stepped aboard and froze.

Kaz felt her stiffen beside him.

Sturmhond turned from the helm, grinning. “Kaz Brekker,” he said. “Looking exactly as I imagined. And you—”

His words faltered when his eyes landed on Y/N. For a moment, the golden-haired man — so theatrical and impossible — looked nothing but stunned.

“...Moya sestra.”

Y/N blinked. “Nikolai?”

Kaz’s jaw clenched. Nikolai?

Sturmhond's smirk returned slowly, softened at the edges. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

She swallowed, glancing between the two men. “Kaz,” she said quietly. “This is… Nikolai Lantsov. My brother.”

A tense beat.

“You have a brother,” Kaz said flatly.

She gave a half-laugh, half-sigh. “And apparently he’s still dramatic.”

Nikolai bowed low with a flourish. “Prince. Pirate. Brother extraordinaire.”

Kaz looked murderous.

Back at the Slat, it was silent between them. The others had gone, sensing the storm on Kaz’s face. Y/N sat on his bed, arms wrapped around her knees. She didn’t know what scared her more — that Kaz hadn’t said a word… or that he had felt betrayed.

She flinched when he finally spoke.

“So. The Ravkan Princess.”

“I didn’t mean to lie—”

“You didn’t lie,” Kaz interrupted sharply, pacing. “You omitted. You vanished from a palace and walked into the Barrel like it was nothing.”

“It wasn’t nothing,” she said, standing. “I left because it wasn’t a life. I wasn’t free. I wasn’t me. You think I came here to trick anyone?”

He didn’t answer.

Y/N stepped closer, heart aching. “Kaz, I never used my name, or title. I never asked you to trust me because of who I was. I wanted you to see me. Just me.”

He looked at her then. Really looked. And the cold in his gaze cracked.

“I did.”

She exhaled shakily, hope blooming in her chest.

Kaz turned away again, his voice quieter. “It just… it makes sense. The way you move. The way you speak. You carry yourself like someone used to ruling a court.”

Y/N stepped behind him, resting a hand — carefully — on his gloved one. “You’re the only court I care about now.”

That made him snort softly, just barely. “Saints save me.”

It took Kaz a few days to warm again, but he did. Eventually, she found a note in her coat pocket, scrawled in his familiar hand.

I don’t care if you’re a princess or a street rat. You’re mine. — K.

The next time Nikolai came to visit, it was less tense. He’d brought Ravkan chocolate and three letters from their mother. Kaz didn’t even growl when Nikolai referred to him as “brother-in-law pending.”

Later that night, Y/N curled beside Kaz on the worn couch of his office, reading a book while his hand rested over hers. He didn’t pull away.

“You know,” she said softly, “you’ll probably be in all the history books now. ‘The Bastard of the Barrel who stole the Ravkan Princess.’”

Kaz glanced at her, eyes glinting. “No. You stole me.”

She smiled. “Then I guess we’re even.”

And in the quiet that followed, filled only with the flicker of candlelight and the steady sound of their breathing, it was clear that neither of them planned to let go.

Not now. Not ever.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker imagines #six of crows #six of crows x reader #six of crows imagines #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagines #ellora.writes

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witchthewriter · 3 months ago

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@sugutoad.

𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐊𝐚𝐳! He understands you on a level that no one else does. Like you, he was forced to grow up fast and reflects your own fiery, intelligent coldness that's more armor than truth. He wouldn’t flinch from your bluntness, no, he’d admire it. He wouldn’t underestimate your softness, but he’d be furious at anyone who made you cry. And he’d wait when you tie your shoelaces. Every time.

𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒆𝒔

𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢: 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟.

Slowing heartbeats, extracting breath, inducing pain or calm. While most people think of them as ruthless weapons, you embody the more nuanced, powerful side of the order. You would be top of your class at the Little Palace, and have the eye of The Darkling. Too intimidating. Too brilliant. Too sharp around the edges. Your Kefta is a deep red with black cuffs and silver threading, tailored to perfection. No flashy symbols, just elegant embroidery.

𝑷𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓/𝑨𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚

As a Heartrender, you manipulate the body’s inner functions; specifically the cardiovascular, respiratory, and nervous systems. This includes:

Slowing or speeding up a heartbeat

Inducing unconsciousness or calming a panic attack

Triggering pain responses or emotional paralysis

Disrupting breathing (used defensively or offensively)

Heightened empathy, allowing her to sense shifts in tension, distress, or rage

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

He always knows when you're overthinking. Kaz's presence alone is like pressure on a bleeding wound; measured, stabilizing, unmoving. It may be difficult for him to touch you, but he will be in your company and talk you down for as long as it takes.

You're the only one he lets win in an argument...well sometimes. When you’re in public, he doesn’t flinch from disagreeing with you. But in private? He gives in.

Kaz listens to every word during your rants or rambles. Even when you trip over your words or stutter, he always encourages you to speak.

He is scarily protective over you. He knows you can look after yourself, but you are too precious to him.

Kaz's version of touch is stillness. He doesn’t grab your hand. He doesn’t cuddle you in front of others. But when he wants to show affection? He sits beside you and stays there. Long after the others leave. He says nothing. Makes no move. But his hand rests on the table between you; closer than usual. Almost brushing yours.

When you cry, he doesn't say it's okay - he MAKES it okay. Because Kaz Brekker, the Bastard of the Barrel, would cut out the heart of the world if it meant putting yours back together.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

My Tears Are Becoming A Sea by M83

Chemtrails Over The Country Club by Lana Del Rey

Lay All Your Love On Me by Pale Honey

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Tragic Past x Ray of Light

Initially Distant, but Mutual Yearning

Battle of Wits

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Found Family

Shared Vision and Purpose

Love Conquers All

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

Your mind. Kaz is enamoured with the way you think; how you question everything, how you notice details no one else sees. He respects you more than anyone alive, and that terrifies him.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

Wylan Van Eck. He’s the sunshine to your thunderstorm. Constantly baking you little treats and making you laugh when you least expect it. You help him stay grounded. He helps you believe in beauty again.

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

Jesper Fahey (underneath it all). Like Jesper, you hide vulnerability with dry humour, crave connection but struggle to ask for it, and care deeply even when you pretend not to. You’re whip-smart, intense, and you’d walk through fire for your people. Even if it meant pretending it didn’t burn.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕

A Fox. Silent, elegant, and extremely loyal. It weaves between your legs like smoke and only responds to your voice. Kaz refuses to admit it likes him too.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐃𝐎𝐌

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐒𝐢𝐡𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜! Sihtric sees everything; especially things people try to hide. He’d recognise your overachiever exhaustion, your tears you won’t let fall, and he wouldn’t say anything...he’d just hold out his hand. You need someone who isn’t “too kind,” someone who doesn’t flinch at your fire or stubbornness, and Sihtric? He’d meet it with quiet intensity.

𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒆𝒔

Human; but you walk like someone who’s fought gods in your dreams and survived it.

𝑷𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓/𝑨𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚

Memorybinding. You don't just remember what’s said; you remember how it made you feel. What others forget, you store like armor. You can read others' emotions with frightening accuracy, using quiet intuition as your sharpest weapon.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

He notices the moment your voice starts to go quiet and he adjusts the world for you. When your voice dips too soft, when you start to shrink into yourself after too many stares or a crowd that’s too loud, Sihtric moves without thinking. He steps between you and the world, not saying a word.

Sihtric makes you eat when you forget, and he’s annoyingly smug about it. You eat. He wins. He always does. And you secretly love that he notices these things about you.

Listens more than he speaks, but when he speaks, it unravels you

Sihtric keeps something of yours tied around his wrist beneath the leather.

He lets you braid his hair while he sharpens his blades...You hum to yourself, fingers moving with quiet purpose. He sharpens a dagger against a whetstone, calm and focused but when you pause, he always stills too, like your hands are the rhythm he works by.

He falls asleep touching you. Always. Either holding your hand, cocooning behind you, a leg thrown over yours etc.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Underground by Cody Fry

The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives

Good Looking by Suki Waterhouse

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

More Alike Than Different

Places You Above Anything And Everyone Else. You Are His World

Malewife x Girlboss

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Fake Relationship Which Turns Into True Love

Sacrifice and Devotion

Unbreakable Bond

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

Your mind and the rage you hide behind silence. Sihtric is drawn to your intensity, your stillness, the way you think before speaking. He loves your softness too but it’s the fact that you’ve earned your gentleness, and chose it anyway, that makes him ache for you.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

Finan. He makes you laugh when you desperately need it, calls you “little lioness” when you’re mad, and always steals food from your plate.

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

Aethelflaed. Strong-willed. Fiercely protective of those you love. Underestimated for being composed and feminine; until you speak, and everyone goes quiet. Like her, you lead with your mind and love with your whole soul.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕

A black hare with one white paw, named Mirth. Skittish with strangers, deadly fast, and always curling at your side.

𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐉𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞! (post-hand loss arc) You said you're drawn to those you think you can fix. But what about those who are already trying? And what he needs is someone who sees the good he’s afraid is gone. He’s got the charisma, the arrogance, the wounded pride; but beneath that, he’s a man begging for redemption. I can see you pushing him to confront who he is, and he would give you the quiet devotion he has never given to anyone.

𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒆𝒔

Human. Seemingly made of armor, stubbornness, and the ache of dreams you still haven’t given up on.

𝑷𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓/𝑨𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚

Clarity through restraint. You make people pause. Reconsider. Regret underestimating you. There’s something in your stillness that commands attention; a presence that doesn’t shout, but demands listening.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

Jaime doesn’t compliment you often but when he does, it’s quiet and absolute. A glance. A single line. "You looked beautiful, earlier."

When you overwork yourself, he intervenes without fanfare. He takes the books from your lap, pulls you to bed, and wraps an arm around your waist. “Sleep. For both our sakes.”

He lets you see the hurt no one else is allowed to touch. The doubts. The shame. The memories that crawl through his ribs late at night. You don’t fix him. You just stay. And to him, that’s everything.

You never ask him to change but he becomes better anyway. Not to prove himself. Not for redemption. But because for the first time in his life, he wants to be the man you see when you look at him.

He reads to you in the dark; not stories, but history. So one night, when sleep won’t come, he starts reading aloud from an old, worn volume you’d been reading earlier. His voice is calming, and you find yourself fighting sleep, just to hear more.

Jaime doesn’t just defend you, he dares anyone to speak against you.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Golden Years by David Bowie

One More Hour by Tame Impala

Style by Ryan Adams

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Constantly Trying To Make You Blush In Public x Worked At First But Now You're Used To It

Always Hold Grudges (Jaime) x Forgives Too Easily (You)

Home Is Wherever You Are

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Second Chance

Intertwined Destinies

Healing and Rebuilding Together

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

Your temper. Not the loud kind; but the righteous, slow-burning kind. The way your voice sharpens when someone’s being cruel. The way you defend others more fiercely than yourself. The way you refuse to be softened by a world that tried to wear you down.

He thinks you’re terrifying. He also thinks he’s never wanted anyone more.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

Brienne of Tarth. Not at first but after time, mutual respect grows. She admires your honesty. You admire her refusal to bend.

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

Sansa Stark. Elegant. Underestimated. You play the long game. You listen, you learn, and then you strike with precision and grace. People think they’ve seen your depths, until you drown them in everything they missed.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕

A black cat named Nimith — meaning whisper in a lost dialect of Old Valyria. She has large, slanted amber eyes that never seem to blink when she’s watching. Her ears are tall and pointed, giving her an ever-alert, almost regal appearance.

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