#………. this is brexit all over again isn’t it

[janiedean]

war flashbacks of ‘what does the eu do’ the day after we know what

remember when i said every presidential election comes down to the absolute most checked the fuck out people in the country

[qqueenofhades]

Hoping you can explain this because you’re smart but why in the world are the same people who scream about a labor shortage worried about the border and immigration? Isn’t more people coming to our country a good thing if we train them properly to fill vacant positions (a lot of which are service jobs anyway)?

Alas, you are forgetting what is quite possibly the chief shibboleth of Western white supremacy/far-right nationalism: that all people from other countries, especially *gasp* the brown ones, are invaders, murderers, job-stealers, polluters of the (white) body politic, etc, and that under no circumstances should they be invited or allowed to stay. This isn't just an American thing; witness the Tories in the UK salivating over the idea of torturing migrants, trying to shut down any legal migration routes even with the employment black hole caused by Brexit, steadfastly denying that their workforce problems have anything to do with Brexit, steadfastly denying that they need to loosen immigration rules, etc. This is also the case with the European right/far right, the Australian far right, and anywhere else in the world that has historically been built on systems of white colonization, white supremacy, and other racial and legal scaffolds of privilege and exclusion. The white people who come to a country and settle it are bringing "civilization" and therefore should be welcomed and encouraged, but the non-white people who already lived there are "savages" and need to be exterminated for the good of the "master race." If they try to come back to the (white) nation state after their homelands were colonized, moreover, they are "invaders" who just want to "soak up the money of hard-working citizens" and etc etc.

The core fascist hatred of immigrants is also why Trump is directly echoing Hitler's anti-immigrant rhetoric with his "poisoning the blood of America" screeds, his promise to round up and deport migrants en masse, and otherwise be as massive of a dick as possible. The fact that there's no economic benefit and indeed a lot of economic pain is entirely beside the point. Trump and his deranged followers like the cruelty and the idea of torturing brown people for daring to come to "their" (white) America, and think that if they can be outrageously monstrous enough, this will finally deter all the other ones from coming. It won't, and no globalized economy will run without immigrants, but again, this isn't the point. Reality or pragmatic calculations have nothing to do with it. It's only about what can cause the maximum amount of cruelty and chaos to everyone who doesn't wholeheartedly worship and fit the (white) fascist model. That's why the Republicans yelled about wanting a border bill before they'd fund Ukraine; the Democrats obligingly gave them one with some of the toughest restrictions in years, and the Republicans yelled and threw it away because Dear Leader Trump told them to trash it. In some sense this is a good thing, because it meant that Ukraine got funded without being beholden to performative partisan cruelty at the border, but it also shows that they don't actually care about any of this. They have bluntly stated in so many words that they want a manufactured crisis at the border so Trump will have it as a campaign issue. Then he can take office and implement all his terrible concentration camps and all the other genocidal fascist bullshit of Project 2025 (bUt bIdEn iZ thE wOrsE oPtiOn!!!!!)

So: yeah. There's no point looking for any actual consistency or logic in the modern far right, because that is so far from the actual aim. No matter if migrants are essential, no matter if Americans literally won't take many of the jobs they do, etc. I live in a big city that has had a ton of migrants coming here and have read many, many news articles about how all they want to do is get a work permit, make their own money, learn English, and integrate into American culture; they are often far more positive about the prospects of America than actual Americans. But because the entire project of a (white) fascist ethnostate as advocated by Trump and co. in America, the Tories/Reform in the UK, and the far-right European parties, Russia, and other places (this is all connected worldwide -- again, it's not limited to one country or region), rests on demonizing (brown) immigrants as subhuman scroungers who come to rape, murder, steal jobs, and otherwise threaten (white) law-abiding citizens, that will always win out above every single other consideration.

[mariacallous]

In the summer of 2022, as it became clear that Vladimir Putin had made a vast strategic error,  a cry went up from concerned and caring Western statesmen that on no account must the dictator be “humiliated”.

Emmanual Macron was adamant that, despite the Kremlin launching an unprovoked war of imperial expansion and committing countless crimes against humanity, the West must offer it an “exit ramp.” Meanwhile, the Biden administration treated Ukraine like a prisoner under torture: it provided enough weapons to keep the country alive but not the modern aircraft, tanks and long-range missiles it needed to escape the pain Russia inflicted.

Western governments feared crossing a “red line” and provoking Putin into nuclear war. Or they worried that a decisive Russian defeat would lead to Putin’s overthrow and chaos descending on the Russian Federation.

Chaos in Russia? My God, that would be intolerable, even though the West seems more than willing to tolerate chaos in Europe.

For in this dark winter the question is now what happens if the West is humiliated?  Where are our red lines?  And what is our exit ramp?  

Western success or failure remains in our own hands. The Institute for the Study of War is stating no more than the obvious when it says that, if the US and Europe stop their aid, Ukraine will fall. And that, if the West maintains and increases support, Russian cannot win.

I said these statements were obvious, and so they should be. Yet both the US and the EU are denying their force.  The European Union allowed Putin’s client Viktor Orban to veto a €50 billion aid package. Meanwhile in the US, pro-Trump Republicans are blocking  support to Ukraine (and to Israel and Taiwan) for the time being, and there is the prospect that Donald Trump will win the presidency in November 2024, and block it forever.

We know what a Russian victory will mean for Ukraine. In the areas of the country Russian troops have conquered, they hunted down local leaders who might inspire resistance, tortured, raped and murdered

What would happen to the West is a question that deserves more attention than it receives, however. The West isn’t a fixed place. If the term means anything it is a description of common beliefs and alliances shared across democratic nations. If the defeat of Ukraine shows that those beliefs are fatuous, Putinist politics will receive an enormous boost; not just in Russia, where the imperial and dictatorship would see its legitimacy enhanced, but also in Europe and North America.

Russian success would mean that, contrary to everything we were taught since 1945, dictators can reorder Europe’s borders by force, and occupy and terrorise an independent country. As that knowledge sinks in, the atmosphere in the West will turn foul and foul Western movements will thrive.

Talking about changes in the atmosphere or zeitgeist feels airy and imprecise; an improper subject for serious journalism. But the argument of this piece is that all societies manage with norms they take to be inviolable. When those norms fail everything changes.

If Russia can engage in unprovoked aggression and colonial land seizures, and get away with it, Donald Trump can deny the results of a legitimate election and incite insurrection, and still get to be US president again.

Trump, indeed, has already shown that he understands the dark currents of our time better than his critics. 

In June 2016, the then candidate Trump welcomed the “leave” victory in the UK’s Brexit referendum, seeing it as a sign that he would win the US presidential election in November of that year. Many journalists, myself included, thought he was an idiot. Potential Republican voters knew little and cared less about debates about British sovereignty and the Common Agricultural Policy, we reasoned. But Trump knew better. He understood that because the UK “scored a great victory” over the “global elite,”  and had torn up the old rules, enough American voters might be prepared to do the same.

 If US weapons delays continue into 2024 and Ukraine staggers or falls, it will help Trump’s prospects and the prospects of Europe’s far right parties. Every Russian success is a jeering attack on human rights and the liberal order. All enemies of liberalism benefit from Putin’s victories.

Imagining a Ukrainian defeat is not to play some kind of grim parlour game. The weapons embargoes hurt. They make planning for the future of the war impossible. Phillips O’Brien, a leading military historian,  says that “Ukraine has no idea what it will have in terms of… the equipment it will need to fight the war because it has no idea what the US will do in terms of aid. I’m struggling to think of a more difficult strategic planning situation.”

Like most historians and military strategists, he is astonished that we can even be talking about a Ukrainian defeat. The balance of forces is such that we should not need to contemplate it. First, credit must go to the courage of the Ukrainian armed forces.   Contrary to all the expectations of the supposedly competent Western intelligence services, they did not fold in February 2022, but inflicted vast losses on the Russian army and defeated the Russian navy in the Black Sea.

And then there is the brute audit of power.

Russia is a vicious state with a relatively small economy and delusions of imperial grandeur. As of 2023, NATO had approximately 3.36 million active military personnel compared with 1.33 million active military personnel in the Russian military. NATO had 20,633 aircraft to Russia’s 4,182, and 2,151 military ships, to Russia’s 598.   From any normal military perspective, an outgunned mafia state, should not be able to win a proxy war against the west.

If it does, three conclusions will follow, none of them comforting.

The power of malign minorities to dictate to the rest of us will be on full display. Most Americans and a majority of politicians in the US Congress want to help Ukraine. But a minority on the Republican right is blocking them, and the Biden administration is so lacking in political skill it cannot mobilise the majority to break the deadlock. Hungary, meanwhile, is a tiny quasi-dictatorship, and Viktor Orban is a Putin ally. If the European Union were a self-confident alliance of democracies, it would expel it. As things stand, it prefers to let Orban dictate European priorities instead.

I mention useless liberal leadership because so much of liberal commentary focuses on the far right. Journalist should be honest and report that the war is revealing a failure of nerve in the liberal mainstream. Everyone quotes from The Second Coming in moments like these, but Yeats’s lines are unavoidable: “The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity.”

If Ukraine loses, the liberal centre will not hold. The decision of the Biden administration to keep Ukraine as a tortured prisoner, without the weapons systems it needs to break free, will not just seem a cruel policy but a colossal strategic mistake, which threw away the chance to weaken the West’s enemies.

The mistake so many of us living comfortable and secure lives make is to believe that we can escape the consequences; that what happens in Ukraine will stay in Ukraine.

In fact, refugees will flood westwards, destabilising Europe and encouraging the far right. War won’t stop. Ukrainians will take to the forests and mountains and fight guerilla campaigns.  Emboldened by victory and confident that the West lacks the will to resist, Russia will push again into Moldova and the Baltic States.

Every cliché dictators utter about the flabbiness of selfish democracies will be proved true. Russia and indeed China will be able to tell the world that the United States and NATO were unreliable allies, who lacked the endurance for the long haul. Tyrants from Xi to Maduro will be licking their lips. Every illiberal movement on the planet will see Putin’s victory as their victory 

It does not have to be this way. But unless in 2024 Western governments stand up for what they say they believe in, it will be.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I know I’ve said this sort of thing before, but was thinking again today of how much Nish Kumar is both objectively a very good comedian, and for my subjective tastes, the perfect comedian. He covers all my interests. He does the satirical stuff with the (mostly) older generation and the newer panel shows with the younger (well, comparatively younger) TV comedians. Equally at home on The Bugle or on Taskmaster, on The News Quiz or on Hypothetical.

I’ve heard people say that Nish’s appearance on Taskmaster was funny, because at that time he was known as the smart political comedian from The Mash Report, and this showed a very different side to him. I watched Taskmaster before I watched The Mash Report, but I did already know who Nish Kumar was by then, because I’d been listening to The News Quiz for years. So the Taskmaster version of Nish Kumar didn’t surprise me because he was less competent than the Mash Report version – it surprised me because he was much sillier, and less competent, than the News Quiz version.

Incidentally, I’d never actually seen Nish Kumar before I watched Taskmaster in March 2020, I’d only heard his voice on the radio. When I was watched Taskmaster, I was shocked to learn he’s only a few years older than me – I’d pictured him as being 15 or 20 years my senior, as I pictured most people on Radio Four whose faces I’d never seen.

Anyway. The point is that Nish Kumar is everything I like, across the board. Hangs out with the Josh Widdicombe/Ed Gamble/Rose Matafeo/James Acaster crowd, and this makes for good chemistry on panel shows and things. But also does a lot to carry on the legacy of the Chocolate Milk Gang, and has cited Andy Zaltzman, John Oliver, Daniel Kitson, and David O’Doherty as people he looks up to in comedy. And, you know, sometimes as adoptive fathers.

(This isn’t the point of this post, but the picture from which that was cut is awesome and I’ll take any excuse to post it:

I’m 90% sure it’s the 2003 Melbourne Comedy Festival. Also, the last time I posted this I said it had Dave Gorman, Glenn Wool, Lee Mack, Jason Byrne, Adam Hills, Daniel Kitson, David O’Doherty, and Noel Fielding, but I’ve only just noticed Danny Bhoy and Dan Antopolski in the back as well. Anyway, I digress. Back to Nish Kumar.)

He gets on The Bugle and takes on niche aspects of political systems with Andy Zaltzman and Alice Fraser. Then he fails to kick a basketball on Taskmaster. Then he releases two comedy albums that are some of the smartest political comedy from the post-Brexit era. Then he goes on Question Team and makes me fall over laughing with his round about takeaway prices. Then he’s on The Mash Report pissing people off in the way that most political comedy TV shows don’t, because most political comedy TV shows are not nearly as incisive as that one (also because of racism). Then he’s being bad at numbers with Roisin Conaty on Catsdown. Then he’s doing brilliant stand-up that blends the personal with the political aspects of racism and other larger issues. Then he’s on The Last Leg doing impressions of Josh Widdicombe’s accent. He hosted The News Quiz for a few weeks after Miles Jupp left, auditioning for the job against Angela Barnes and Andy Zaltzman. When they gave it to Andy instead of him, on the next Bugle episode he went out of his way to tell the audience that Andy won’t brag about it himself but they should know how big a deal it is and how much Andy Zaltzman deserves the position.

He’s hyping up Andy Zaltzman and messing around with James Acaster and performing with Daniel Kitson and drinking whiskey wrong with Mark Watson and knocking over Rosie Jones and writing newspapers with Josh Widdicombe and picking fights with Piers Morgan to defend John Oliver’s honour. He’s all the great things, and specifically he’s all the things I like best. He’s just the best one.

And, in case I haven’t emphasized it enough, the things he does with everyone else aside, his own material is fantastic. When the filmed version of Your Power Your Control finally gets released, I will not let anyone I know get away with not watching it. I already took my best friend to see it live in Montreal, and he... did not much like it. Not his sort of humour; I guess he’s just not into complex and intelligent ruminations on the personal in the political with anger and conviction and, yes Daily Mail writers, also lots of great jokes. Actually, the thing that’s really not my best friend’s type of humour is “British” (his words, not mine). You can see why I made this blog; if I didn’t get to get rid of all these thoughts online, I wouldn’t have any friends left. But I’m going to make everyone watch Nish Kumar anyway.

[zaddyazula]

gary lineker is completely in the right

i feel like some sort of right wing enthusiast saying “see this is what happens when all media is influenced by a political side” but it’s true. and i might go on a bit of a rant about it.

for those who don’t know, gary lineker compared the new tory bill to prevent immigrants coming into the country to nazi germany, which is completely right. he has now stepped down from his job on match of the day.

the tories completely control the media, and the general population it seems, because for years and years in general elections the tories have come out victorious, despite them ruining the country trying to fill their own pockets.

[screenshot of a sky news article]

as someone who lives in the uk, specifically from the north, the tories are fucking devastating the country, and have been since margaret thatcher. i don’t really know what the us version would be, but the north and south of england have been against each other for decades.

another thing i’d like to mention is the fact that gary lineker stepped down from a BBC JOB. the BBC is very important in this, as they may or may not have been the ones who edited a clip of the orgreave’s riot to portray that the civilians incited the riot, and not the police officers. they switched the film around. and broadcast it on live television. so yeah, that’s how fucked up the BBC was and how far they’d go to protect the tories.

(by the way, the tories are basically the republicans :) )

the divide between the tories and labour (the version of the democrats) is a lot deeper than actual politics. this goes as far as the tory governments depriving the north of the same necessities and developments as the south. rochdale, in extremely north manchester, (as someone who has lived there) is a complete fucking shithole. there’s barely any fucking public transport that don’t run solely in the town centre, the train station is in the middle of nowhere, and most importantly, the town itself is in the middle of nowhere. it’s a point to where you can just tell towns are shitholes purely because of their position in the uk. obviously, just because a town is in the north, doesn’t mean it can’t be tory and vice versa.

the actual bill lineker was talking about is to restrict the amount of people crossing the english channel into the uk from france, most of these people fleeing from war. hang on a minute, aren’t they the same places the uk may or may not have bombed??? what a coincidence. these poor fucking people, coming to this shithole of a country for a better life, and the people who approved the orders to rip them from their lives have the FUCKING AUDACITY TO KICK THEM OUT OF THE COUNTRY.

breaking news today:

what a lovely thing to see. what fucking bullshit.

the absolute fucking shite the government comes out with is unbearable, and there are still tory supporters????? i’m sorry but fuck the hell off.

these people are coming here for a better life. risking their lives to be given a chance at a new one in the lovely uk. putting innocent people in detention centres like we’re back in the 1930s isn’t a great look for the tories, but i doubt people will stop supporting them. instead of funding the military, education services, health services etc. etc., the government are giving france money to build detention centres.

these people, who are somehow in charge of a country, are making my life hell. first it was fucking brexit, don’t even get me started on that, and now it’s adopting a fascist, racist, xenophobic regime. it’s been coming for a long time.

minorities already suffer enough over here, and now we’re going to suffer even more.

my grandparents migrated in the late 60s (i believe so anyways - they’re both dead so i can’t ask them) for a better life, and they got one. after a while anyways. i expect they probably went through a bit because of the ira. again, i never asked either of them, i was too young.

hope you enjoyed my rant :)

[maykr]

No serious enough with the fucking coronation. I dont care about charlotte or george or whatever spawn created by that bald freak. Again. People are starving. Kids are starving. You cannot find vegetables in one damn market and brexit kicked uk in the ahem so hard that not even at the coronation of georgy boy will it recover. But lets talk about some bratty bratty falling asleep. Isn't she cute. She unlike millions of people will never go to sleep hungry. Aw. Lets talk about some 150+ Million  charade ceremony THAT does not belong in 2023. The whole divine right to rule should be taken in the back and shot to death. Enough about leather purse face camila enough about inbreed corpse charles enough about store mannequin kate and egg head. Hope your " With over 1,000 rooms, Windsor Castle tops the list of the most expensive properties to furnish, costing an estimated £64 million” drops and kills them all.

[hackingmonuments]

'For anyone who isn’t aware – the statue out the front has had a cone on its head continuously for the past 40 odd years. Despite the best efforts of the council and the police, every time one is removed another takes its place.' - Banksy, June 2023

The history of a talking monument. The following text is from the wikipedia page about the statue.

The equestrian statue of Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington located outside the Royal Exchange, now known as the Gallery of Modern Art, Glasgow, Scotland, is one of Glasgow's most iconic landmarks.

The statue of the Duke on his favourite horse Copenhagen was sculpted by Italian artist Carlo Marochetti and erected in 1844. The statue is a Category-A listed monument.

In recent times the statue has become known for being capped with a traffic cone.[2] Adorning the statue with a cone had continued over many years: the act was claimed to represent the humour of the local population and was believed to date back to at least the 1980s.[3][4][5][6]

In 2005, Glasgow City Council and Strathclyde Police took a stance of asking the public not to replace the cone, citing minor damage to the statue and the potential for injury when attempting to place a cone.[4][5]

In 2011 the Lonely Planet guide included the statue in its list of the "top 10 most bizarre monuments on Earth".

In 2013 Glasgow City Council put forward plans for a £65,000 restoration project, that included a proposal to double the height of its plinth and raise it to more than six feet (1.8 metres) in height to "deter all but the most determined of vandals".[8] Their planning application contained an estimate that the cost of removing traffic cones from the statue was £100 per callout, and that this could amount to £10,000 a year. The plans were withdrawn after widespread public opposition, including an online petition that received over 10,000 signatures. As the council indicated that action against the practice could still be considered, the art-political organization National Collective organised a rally in defence of the cone.

In 2014, in support of the Scottish Independence referendum, the statue was fitted with a "Yes" cone as well as a flag fitted in the statue's stirrup

The cone was replaced with a gold painted one during the 2012 Olympics as a celebration of Scotland's contribution to the record haul of gold medals won by Team GB. A replica of the statue, complete with cone, appeared at the 2014 Commonwealth Games opening ceremony, and a gold cone was then again placed on the statue to mark the success of the games.

In 2015, Glasgow City Council tested hi-tech CCTV software worth £1.2m, checking to see whether it could automatically detect people putting cones on the statue, which it could.

On Brexit Day (31 January 2020) pro-European supporters placed a cone painted to represent the EU flag on the statue's head.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, the statue was adorned with a cone and a blue surgical mask around the statue's ears to reflect the pandemic and lockdowns in the country.

In March 2022, in support of Ukraine and as a protest against Russia's invasion of it, the statue was fitted with a cone with the colours of the Ukrainian flag.

In June 2023 to promote his exhibition at the Gallery of Modern Art, artist Banksy declared that the statue was his "favourite work of art in the UK". On 21 June, the Scottish climate change campaigning group This Is Rigged placed a cone with their logo on the statue, and invited Banksy to support their cause.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 14/01/2023 (Miguel, Skrillex/Fred again../Flowdan)

Thanks to a sales campaign, Lewis Capaldi surges to #1 with “Pointless”. It’s his fourth #1, and it sold 22,000 CDs yet it was still a decently close race, edging out “Escapism.” by RAYE featuring 070 Shake. Regardless, welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

We start as usual with our notable dropouts – songs exiting the top 75, which is what I cover, after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, you have the expected losses for old songs returning thanks largely to New Year’s and year-end roll-outs, those being “I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)” by Whitney Houston, “Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God)” by Kate Bush and of course, “Mr. Brightside” by the Killers. There are also a few 2022 hits dropping out like “Doja” by Central Cee, “About Damn Time” by Lizzo and “Crazy What Love Can Do” by David Guetta, Becky Hill and Ella Henderson, alongside the expected farewells for “Christmas Drillings” by the Sidemen and “Firebabe” by Stormzy.

As for our returns, we just have The 1975 returning to a new peak of #52 for “About You”, but for the notable gains filling up the gaps, we see boosts for “Snowfall” by Oneheart and reidenshi  at #66, “Moving All Around (Jumpin’)” by Schak and Kim English at #55, “Delilah (pull me out of this)” by Fred again.. at #53, “Players” by Coi Leray at #50 (sigh), “Here with Me” by d4vd at #48, “Superhero (Heroes & Villains)” by Metro Boomin, Future and Chris Brown at #44, “Ready to Fly” by Sub Focus and Dimension at #43 (awesome), “Boy’s a liar” by PinkPantheress at #41, “Shut up My Moms Calling” by Hotel Ugly at #38, “The Color Violet” by Tory Lanez at #38 (not awesome), “Just Wanna Rock” by Lil Uzi Vert is #32, “I’ll be Waiting” by Cian Ducrot at #22 and finally, “Until I Found You” by Stephen Sanchez at #15.

Since we’re back to the normal format, I can say that just our top five of the UK Singles Chart consists of “messy in heaven” by venbee and goddard. at #5, “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift at #4, “Kill Bill” by SZA at #3 and of course, the top two: “Escapism.” and “Pointless”. Now with that over and done with, time to check out our new arrivals, which I’m not particularly excited about...

NEW ARRIVALS

#75 – “Blame Brexit” – Potter Payper

Produced by EY

Don’t let the title fool you; this is absolutely not a political track. The title comes from the fact that he could overprice his drugs and claim that Brexit has added to the costs. It’s a funny way to call out Parliament’s economic mismanagement of the situation, but there’s not much else in terms of punchlines, as even though Potter Payper brings a level of detail and definitely an aggressive tone, he sticks to the same flow over this frankly monotonous beat that uses a synth that just filters itself down into a really simplistic, dull loop, and just repeats constantly throughout, with little variation over drums that are not nearly as punchy as they should be. They’re sort of muddled, actually, and it means that Potter Payper, who refuses to switch up the flow or tone, comes off a bit dull when I know he could have easily sounded more on point with better production. This is far from bad, mostly because there’s little to be offended at, but I’m not going to recommend it.

#69 – “METAMORPHOSIS” – INTERWORLD

Produced by INTERWORLD

Okay, so this is a 2021 phonk song sampling an obscure and particularly vulgar Memphis rap single by DJ Live Wire, using Lay Low’s second verse to build a verse off, thankfully cutting off at the time he starts saying that he can rape these women. Yeah, it’s not a particularly good sample, but this drift phonk phenomenon does interest me, even if this isn’t particularly as fast-paced as that genre could be, creating a vaporwave-esque atmosphere with the dissonant sound effects amidst a sprinkling of softer synths over a really punchy house beat that creates a pretty mysterious yet relaxing track. With more focus on those cowbell synths as a lead, the song would click, and actually does so in the instrumental break, but it’s a bit of a bother in how it’s constructed for me: it would make a lot more sense to me to leave that synth lead as a surprise for the drop after a long build up, and scrap the Memphis rap sample entirely since the way it fluctuates is frankly distracting. Another way to make this work is to make it more constant: add a more live-feeling drum pattern, and never fluctuate the volume of the sample, so that it functions as classic vaporwave. As it is, I don’t really like it: I’m all for more interesting and especially instrumental genres thriving on TikTok and charting as a result but I wish there were more solid examples of their niche than the snippets we’re currently getting.

#63 – “Traumatised” – Clavish

Produced by Chek Beatz

The least interesting rapper in the UK Clavish released yet another single from his album that released today, and it samples the Goddamn “Thong Song”. Now I love that song to death, I wrote about it in another blog post here, but the way Chek Beatz loops the intro strings into a beat is pretty solid, with a hard-hitting trap beat. Sure, it’s the same loop every measure like in “Blame Brexit” but with the warping bass, the hypnotising nature of the original sample that gains some genuine swell across the verse, it works a lot better and is a pretty great beat. Sure, I wish they implemented more of the original song, maybe sprinkling in some of those “thong-th-thong-thong-thongs” somewhere. Clavish sounds bored out of his mind, and uses mostly the same flows with flexes and no wordplay to speak of. It’s kind of interesting that when comparing his shooters to Tory Lanez, he says they’re not like him because he’s shooting them where it actually hurts (though I don’t think that was really the point of that case)... but then he compares himself to Kodak Black... who Potter Payper also references in his song, come to think about it. Monotonous British hip hop tracks with Kodak Black references and the use of the same loop throughout the beat with mild changes in the percussion... I don’t know how much you can make of that genre, but for now I’m calling it Gremlincore.

#61 – “We Caa Done” – Popcaan featuring Drake

Produced by TRESOR and Batundi

I’m not familiar with Popcaan, and I’ll claim total ignorance on this: I love his contributions to tracks by Gorillaz, Pusha T and especially Jamie xx, but I’ve just never checked out his solo work. This is not the greatest introduction, mostly because Drake is here feigning his Caribbean accent with limited success because he’s barely on beat and sounds frankly weak when calling other people pussies and saying that you can’t disrespect him. At least the production here is really good, with that bed of vocal samples and keys laying a good foundation behind the more solid piano lead, which may sound  a bit messy, especially with the snaps and shuffling percussion layered on top, but it creates a really unique groove once the drums come in, and that guitar in the back of the mix is really slick in the chorus. There’s also a swell to the verses since everything builds up in there instead of the chorus, and whilst Popcaan to me isn’t particularly impressive on this track, it makes a lot of sense to put his constant flow switches and Auto-Tuned charisma and energy on a track as busy as this. With that said, Drake is still here, and it’s not a particularly interesting set of verses lyrically, so Popcaan’s energy really has to sell it for me, and it can only go so far when, again, Drake is here. It kind of sounds like he says “We Canada” in the chorus, and that is as interesting as his contributions get here. You Canada, Drake, you indeed Canada.

#60 – “People” – Libianca

Produced by Mage the Producer

From dancehall to Afrobeats, we have Cameroonian singer Libianca and... yeah, this is fantastic. The subtle keys are warm and intimate, seeping through the tints of tropical percussion, that never get too attached to the groove, coming in bursts of shackling drum fills and an otherwise constant rhythm not perfectly matched with that deep bass, which makes everything feel so much more claustrophobic. That would seem odd for a softer R&B cut, but with those harmonies in the chorus, and the somewhat wordy cadences used, it fits perfectly, especially given the heartbreaking content. Libianca feels neglected by everyone around her, seeing herself as creating a facade that she struggles to get out of. Naturally, she seems to blame a general point of “people” for the fact that they don’t really know her, but deflecting that hard would seem a bit unwieldy... so she makes it populist with that choir-esque multi-tracking in the desperate post-chorus. Libianca’s rich voice gives credence to this paranoia and depression, exemplified even further by how meandering the second verse is, with her praying for the Holy Father to help her... but it seems pretty aimless. The voices she hears drown her out on that final post-chorus, and she can only get through to anyone through these pained vocal riffs that end up melding into the lead melody anyway. By the end, it’s just the choir that fades out, not Libianca, and even if it’s just half of the post-chorus that’s only her, it feels ghostly enough to prove what could happen if we don’t check on each other. This is a genuinely excellent track and I hope not only does this become a hit, but we see more of Libianca on the charts because I am convinced by this song alone to check out her other stuff since this is phenomenal.

#19 – “Rumble” – Skrillex, Fred again.. and Flowdan

Produced by Skrillex and Fred again..

Talking about new Skrillex feels like welcoming an old friend, even if he charted pretty recently and consistently over the course of the 2010s in some form. Flowdan is a grime MC known for naming the group Roll Deep with Wiley and formerly other big names like Skepta, Dizzee Rascal and more from the grime scene, yet despite being a member of its group for most of its existence, he never rapped on either one of those #1 hits in 2010, so it’s about time he got some shine on a pretty good track from Skrillex. I do prefer the song he released alongside this with Trippie Redd and PinkPantheress but I’ll wait for if it charts next week and focus on this track, which is arguably even less pop-focused than the one that didn’t end up charting. It’s a two-minute track focused on its dripping atmosphere, shifty synths and dark, compressed percussion that scratches upon a rubbery bass, with Flowdan impeccably setting the tone with his monotone, darkly comical voice and integrally British bars. The build up is a bit unorthodox, mostly focusing on an essentially call-and-respond refrain, as Flowdan plays with the percussion in a way that makes you able to tell that the song was made with him in mind and in the room, instead of just transposed on an unbefitting song for the sake of padding out the features. Who may have been added unexpectedly is BEAM, as whilst the drop is fittingly tense and rubbery with Elley Duhé, the seemingly inexplicable bridge with a much wider and expansive sound bed and a pitched-up BEAM chanting over Afrobeats seemed a bit random at first... but then in context, it feels like the leap of triumph after Flowdan’s shooters successfully get you. Every villain needs a song, and BEAM eventually cuts through the refrain alongside all the gun toting sounds for the second pre-chorus anyway, providing even more tension amidst the beat that is already concentrated with mist. BEAM’s outro vocals also feel a bit tacked on but given that Skrillex is two albums this year, I’m expecting for that to gear up into something great in album context. Skrillex has come very far since the brostep days, and even then he knew damn well how to produce, but a full UK bass album from him, perhaps even two, with a level of sequencing influenced by Fred again.. and Danny L Harle, who have production credits on those two singles, could be something really special, and I’m excited to hear whatever comes out of Skrillex’s 2023.

#14 – “Sure Thing” – Miguel

Produced by Happy Perez

I’m not particularly a Miguel fan, but like with Popcaan, I feel like that’s just out of me not bothering. I love “Sky Walker”, “Coffee” and “Adorn”... but again, I’ve never listened to a full solo album. This isn’t a new single either, as I expected and kind of hoped, as this is actually a song from 2010 that surged up on TikTok and Spotify to get here. The funny thing is that like with “Running Up That Hill”, it was a minor hit back in the day as well. Once released as a single in 2011, it hit #36 on the Billboard Hot 100 and making the year-end list of that year, even making it to the top 20 of the decade-end list for the R&B genre. It didn’t hit the UK charts, sure, but this is by no means a deep cut... yet within seconds of hearing it, I understand since this is very much in the realm of alternative R&B-influenced bedroom pop that is big right now. Sure, the patchy percussion is a bit dated in the early 2010s sense, as are the pitched-down vocals, but the inflections of guitar and Miguel’s high voice definitely sounds fitting with 2023. It’s also boring as Hell, in my opinion, as Miguel doesn’t really have great songwriters at hand at this point, with a cheesy lyrical conceit that kind of comes off as cringeworthy over largely minimal, smooth production and a humourless performance that kind of comes off as try-hard. I know that the early 2010s is full of this kind of stuff, but I don’t feel the Usher-level bombast, especially since Miguel is pretty faltering on that chorus in terms of his vocal presence. It feels very awkward, but that’s just another thing contributing to its success, isn’t it? It’s the same reason I don’t like Steve Lacy’s “Bad Habit”, so I think this new trend is just not for me, and I’m kind of glad it took a decade-old song from an artist I otherwise very much like and respect for me to realise.

Conclusion

Libianca runs away with the Best of the Week for “People”, since it really surprised me in a good way, but “Rumble” by Skrillex, Fred again.. and Flowdan is not that far as an Honourable Mention. It was an interesting batch of songs otherwise, but again I’m not particularly excited about these other than the two aforementioned tracks. I suppose Worst of the Week goes to “METAMORPHOSIS” by INTERWORLD, because it had the most potential and is the most fragmented and seemingly easily-fixed track, but the rest are dull enough to mostly fall under the radar. I’m actually going to give the Dishonourable Mention to Potter Payper for “Blame Brexit” just because expectations were a tiny bit higher for a song with such a good title. As for what’s on the horizon, I don’t know, check the Spotify charts. I’m not a wizard. Thank you for reading and I’ll see you next week!

[evita-shelby]

The Dinner Date

Modern au!tommy x eva ,takes place in 2019

My 100th tommy x eva one shot

Thanks @moral-terpitude for the idea of making it a modern au

Cw:mentions of the brexit protests in the uk and the nationwide protests and subsequent riots in mexico after mexico city police sexually assauleted two little girls

Gif by @compassgenius

“So, you’re serious about her?” Ada asked looking over his shoulder before he stopped her from reading the messages.

He had been serious about Grace only to get burned. Tommy was hoping things with Eva will be better.

“I am. Which is why I want to make sure she is peer reviewed before I really commit.” Tommy knew his family already knew Eva and had befriended her, he just needed to see that it wasn’t that fake shit Grace had pulled off for almost a year.

“How about a double date with me and Freddie? If she’s serious she’ll survive it and if she isn’t, well you have an excuse to break up with her.” Ada suggests, as if it had worked last time.

“It sounds like a bad idea, little sister.” Tommy tries to shoot down the idea.

But it could work.

Grace had tried to have Freddie arrested for… well being himself after going out for drinks with them.

Greta had liked Freddie; in fact, they had met at some protest he invited them to.

And while he knew his new girlfriend was just as political as Greta, Tommy needed for her to not be a pearl clutching Tory.

Nor a narc who had even made a tindr to make sure she’d get his attention.

“Fine, how about this Friday evening. That one we went with Polly last month.” He relents.

The more elegant the restaurant the less likely there would be a problem.

“I’ll tell Freddie to his worse.” His sister smiled rather deviously.

“Have you seen the protests lately? It seems we might actually get shit done.” It is done on purpose; Ada has brought up almost every topic they could disagree on and Eva has passed with flying colors.

Now came the final one.

They are having dessert, if Eva survived the politics question, Tommy would marry her on the spot.

“As if that could get them off their arse,” Freddie scoffs.

“It does work, if you get them all to organize and vote for people who are willing to put in the work. I mean we voted out Peña Nieto and my country is just a few more assassinations away from being a total narco-state.” Eva cut her crème caramel with her fork.

“Yeah, sure, but that’s Mexico, here you can have all of the UK show up it’s not going to stop Parliament from voting yes for Brexit.” Freddie answers just as they had expected.

His friend was as socialist as they came, but he had as much faith in the system as Tommy had faith in the Christian God.

“Well then make yourself impossible to ignore and if they continue to ignore you then take justice in your hands.

You heard about the protests in my country, we we riot nationwide when policemen rape little girls and make the world fucking see there'sstrength in numbers. If it had been us, we wouldn’t have let the Big Ben unscathed or Buckingham Palace untagged.” Eva surprises them, usually a strong believer of reform and democracy, she apparently was pro-rioting.

“Says the one who ran away like a fucking coward.” Thorne makes the mistake of assuming the pretty rich girl in front of him is as harmless as she looks.

Eva may try to avoid violence and had the patience of a saint most of the time, but everyone has a tipping point.

Freddie had just found it.

Tommy barely managed to pull his girlfriend away just as she landed the first punch on Freddie’s right eye.

“Take that back, Thorne.” She snarled as Tommy did his best to keep her still.

“I fucking won’t, people like you can say they fight for the same thing as us but when things get hard you lot run away in your private jets. Just like you did.” Freddie held his glass to his eye and sat back.

She lunged again and this time security comes to put a stop to it.

---

“I told you it was a bad idea.” Tommy told his sister as they split the bill while Freddie and Eva waited in their cars.

“I know and we’re never doing this again.” Ada agreed. “We’re fucking lucky they didn’t call the police on them.”

“Brunch tomorrow?” he asked his sister who only nodded.

He is not surprised to have Eva apologize to him for ruining the date.

“Shouldn’t have let him get to me, Tom. I know he’s your friend and Ada’s husband, but its better if we don’t try this again.” The witch said surprising him.

“Again?” he had assumed she’d end things after a date like this.

“Despite what your oh so charming brother-in-law says, I am no quitter, Shelby.”

[caitlin1996]

If nurses do strike please remember

The media/government will try to villainise us.

Over the past few years nurses have had pay rises which have not matched the rate of inflation at all. Our staffing has been decreasing by people becoming burnt out and unable to cope with the demands. Especially post COVID.

The Tories cut the student bursary causing uni applications to fall & brexit affected nurses coming from overseas.

Oh and those 50,000 nurses Boris promised us included 19,000 nurses we already had. And even then they failed on that with 500 nurses leaving the profession every week.

We know the NHS isn’t great. But that’s because it’s severely underfunded and over abused. And like every great idea the execution needs to be done right. And they don’t want to do it right because that would take money out of their mates pockets.

So they’ll shift focus. The money going to their mates in private companies & the pay rises MPs get will be forgotten as they tell you all about those greedy nurses who were offered 4.5% and still not happy!

And they’ll try and convince you that if we do strike we’re horrible people just out for the money. We’re not.

Do you think any MP would be doing it if the highest salary they got is £30k? I don’t.

And don’t worry they’ll target nurses too. They’ll use the fact that we don’t want to put our patients in danger to make us doubt whether we should be striking.

They guilt trip us into thinking about what will happen if we don’t go into work even for one day. Doris will miss her chemo! Dave’s operation will be cancelled again.

But Doris & Dave deserve better. They deserve a nurse that’s not working 50 hour weeks to cover the cost of living. They deserve a nurse that isn’t looking after 14 other patients because theyre short staffed again. They deserve a nurse who isn’t burnt out and hating their job but can’t leave because they need the little money they get. They deserve a nurse who doesn’t have to feed her kids from a food bank.

We all deserve better.

But we won’t get it without action.

[mariacallous]

I have found myself thinking about Michael Gove more and more recently. Not just because of his profile this week over the new definition of extremism, but because I think he - in his own way - is the author of a lot of what has become the extremism of the Tory Party.

That sentence won’t go down well in many quarters. Gove does not come across as a radical at all. By all accounts (I have never met him and the only thing we have in common is our ability to perform all the words of 80s banger Wham Rap) he is incredibly charming. Some say smarmy, but most say charming - and by most I mean people across the political and media spectrum. His reputation for politeness is pretty legendary.

He is also a fantastic media performer. Partly that is to do with the above charm. He’s self-deprecating and also seems thoughtful. When asked a question, his body language makes you think he’s considering the answer, and the right thing to do, very carefully. His head cocks slightly, his lips purse (more) and his shoulders open up as if to indicate he has nothing to hide or defend. Whatever answer he gives, that impression is at the core of his presentation.

He also has a reputation for competence in government that is rare among still-active Conservatives. When he was at Defra, many environmentalists found him more open and easier to work with than pretty much anyone else who has had that brief. He hasn’t got a lot through that housing campaigners would like, but it isn’t for the lack of visibly trying.

He also instituted a revolution in education that is underestimated by most in the impact it will continue to have on this country long after he has left office. For example, I still hear a great deal of wrangling about the National Curriculum. Many Labour education pledges reference it. But, here’s the thing: Gove’s reforms have quietly and without telling anyone basically abolished the National Curriculum in all but name. Because Academies don’t have to follow the National Curriculum and at present around three-quarters of schools are academies. Even though the plan to force all schools to academies by 2030 has been dropped, this trajectory is likely to continue (and unlikely to be reversed at least in the first term of a Labour government). Anything that does not affect over 70 per cent of schools does not deserve the title “national” anything.

Two notable things happened during Gove’s time as Education Secretary beyond the policy that, I think, illustrate the point I am trying to make here. Firstly, he hired Dominic Cummings as his special advisor and secondly, he was described by David Cameron (somewhat fondly at the time, though I would be fascinated to know if post-2016 thought it quite so amusing) as a “Maoist” who like Cummings “believes that the world makes progress through the process of creative destruction”.

Now look again at the record of this mild-mannered, Wham-rapping, Aberdeen-dancing politician.

Gove publicly and loudly backed Brexit breaking a long friendship with Cameron to do so. He then agreed to head up Johnson’s campaign team for the leadership in 2016 only to run himself at the last minute torpedoing Boris’s chances. He was in May’s cabinet at the end, but also on telly calling her planned Brexit vote offering a temporary Customs Union and a vote on a referendum unworkable (to be fair, it was). He again served in Johnson’s cabinet - having apparently changed his mind about his unsuitability for the post (and to be fair, Johnson certainly delivered his fair share of creative destruction) - and as all around him were resigning, Gove was, hilariously, sacked by Johnson. Then who can forget the Laura Kuenssberg interview with Liz Truss and Gove responding where he - just feet away from the then PM called her plans profoundly concerning and unconservative. She didn’t last much longer.

Gove does serve in government now, but whenever plotting is mentioned - evil or otherwise - his name is never very far from the frame. Of course, plotting in politics is as natural as breathing. But plotting for the sake of it is a different matter. I think Gove enjoys the chaos of the game more than the outcomes.

Michael Gove gives off all the vibes of the Cameron-era type of Tory politician. And let’s be fair, that was when he made his most destructive changes to the education system as he abolished things that might have come in handy, such as a massive school repairs programme.

And maybe that’s fair. Because that government was slick and went on a media charm offensive that vastly belied its destructive instincts. The behaviour of Johnson and the insanity of Truss may lead us to forget that the underlying reasons why the country is in the mess we are is down to the economic policies of the Cameron and Osborne government.

Michael Gove has been the great survivor of the Tory years. At the heart of so many plots one loses count, yet endlessly returning to serve semi-loyally at the heart of government. He may charm the press. He may come across as a decent bloke. But his record of destruction and chaos is one we all suffer from. We may enjoy it when his dagger is turned towards his colleagues, but don’t forget for one minute that his destructive instinct is one that could take us all down if we let ourselves be charmed into thinking of him as the acceptable and moderate face of the Tory party. He is anything but.

[anotherplacemag]

Even The Birds Were Afraid To Fly | Al Brydon

I’ve always loved the sound of crows cawing. It has been suggested that they may even have their own language. Every Summer, when I was a small boy, rooks would nest in a tree in a neighbour’s garden. I would lie in bed listening to them talk and try to imagine what they were saying. Why make a noise at all? The sound of crows cawing remains incredibly comforting to me.

I think with all bodies of created work there are a myriad of extremely complex reasons for making it in the first place, whether we know it or not. Sometimes, it feels like making the work is less difficult than working out why you’re making it. And the reasons aren’t static. They interconnect with the physical images at different points. The ideas evolve and devolve, ebbing and flowing. The original reason I started making this series was partly influenced by my insomnia. The dividing line folded into some of the prints originally represented the tightrope between wakefulness and sleep, and my nightly teetering walk along that tightrope. But at the same time we were still reeling from Brexit so the line started to represent the division of our societal constructs. I wanted to represent the confusion and the worry I felt. Some relationships ended around the same time and I found the line also represented the now yawning chasm of severed companionship.

There’s a place I like to be. During October and November there is a murmuration of starlings. I can go there, not see anyone else and just watch the birds do that curious dance they do. It makes me forget everything, I find myself standing and waiting. From a distance you can see the birds flying in from every direction, the small flocks coming home to roost for the night. Sometimes, but not always, the flocks become one mass of birds weaving and dancing together and if I’m on my own it feels like they are doing it just for me. I rarely feel so privileged. Occasionally the sound of a group of chatting birdwatchers drifts over on the breeze, but they leave me alone. I make some pictures of the birds as they fly past but it’s the sound I love the most. It’s the loudest quiet sound

I’ve ever heard, thousands and thousands of tiny wings. Again this work isn’t just about this. It’s also about finding fleeting moments of peace and in that peace I’m trying to make sense of this strange little country. The birds will continue to fly and I will still worry but now the divide represents something else, the divide will evolve and change. Inevitably one day it won’t mean a thing.

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book - the series has recently been published as a beautiful photobook by the excellent Kozu Books - highly recommend grabbing a copy while it’s still available!

All images & text © Al Brydon

[beauty-and-passion]

What Eurovision 2021 taught us

1. That a nice, enjoyable show was possible (even if 4 presenters are still too much)

Of course nothing can beat Love Love Peace Peace (even if Ja Ja Ding Dong does its best), but this year's intermissions were very enjoyable.

We expected something flashy and over the top because hey, The Netherlands. Sex, drugs, gays and all that jazz.

But instead Covid surprised us. And then The Netherlands surprised us even more, by making a very enjoyable show, despite the restrictions. My personal favourites were:

The water intermission of the first semi-final. I loved the mixed feelings, how water is both scary and respected, for being such a powerful, unstoppable force.

The rooftop concerts during the final. Social distancing? Sure, no problem, let's make the past winners sing on top of some roofs all over Rotterdam. That was pure genius, I loved it so much.

On the other hand, the presenters were basically all useless. We could've had just two of them instead of four. But hey, at least they weren't as cringy as the three scary ukranians from 2017 or the useless four ladies from Portugal. The true highlights of the show were the intermissions, the guests and especially the songs themselves and this is perfectly good for me.

________________________

2. That we can live in a world without boring ass ballads

I’ve never been so proud of the Eurovision public, especially during the second semifinal: that evening was PACKED with ballads. Boring ballad after boring ballad, with just a couple more funny songs in between.

The ballads were all left behind. Even the two Amen. And I love the irony we chose El Diablo and the finnish band for the final, but no Amen. No saints allowed, only the norwegian angel. As it always should be.

And so we had the best final I've seen since I started following Eurovision in 2014. Catchy songs, dance songs, upbeat songs. And power ballads. Yes, ballads can still have a place, but only if they're good.

Because yes, Switzerland and France were good. Very good. Just not as good as the ones the public wanted.

________________________

3. That we want Eurovision, not Englishvision

Every year, the same message blasts from all Europeans: send a song in your native language. This show is supposed to make other people from Europe (and the rest of the world) to know more about your own country, to enjoy its rhythm and to listen to something we don't usually hear. So why waste this huge opportunity, to bring a generic song in English?

Because the English song wins. Because we all understand English, so English has more chances.

Flash news: GUESS WHO WON THIS YEAR. No, it’s not the generic English song.

The public has been crystal clear, the final poll is even clearer: the top five includes an italian song, an ukraine song, two french songs and only one english song. We want different styles and rhythms, we want to listen to Europe.

So I want to give my full thank you to:

Albania: amazing song, great voice, wonderful language. Do it again.

Serbia: these ladies are fantastic, their song is great and they sang it in their language so I love them

Switzerland: thank you for leaving English to the side to give us some good french

Spain: the song wasn't as good as Universo, but it was in sexy spanish, so thank you for using it almost every year

Danemark: the song was terrible, but it was in your language and this alone deserves everything

France: I know we all make fun of you for being France, but your language is perfect for songs, so thank you for always using it

Ukraine: take note, Ukraine, because Europe is madly in love with your language and your rhythm

Italy: our language is beautiful, so thank you for delivering every year

While my biggest biases go to:

Greece: a generic pop song with no balkan rhythm and no greek either? An absolute shame, greek should always be used for songs.

Russia: russian language is very melodious and yes, we got something this year, but what about bringing a full russian song? We want it!

Germany: I may sound crazy, but I honestly think german language is good for songs. It's not like the mediterranean languages, but it still works. So please, do not be scared and show what you can do with it!

Scandinavian countries: why do you never want to bring your own language? Do it, don't be scared! Yes, Sweden, I'm talking with you: you still never tried to bring something in swedish, so do it.

________________________

4. That we don't want Americans to play with us

For reasons we still have to understand, Flo Rida was competing this year. And he was competing for San Marino, the smallest European country.

I'm pretty sure they took some time to explain to him what was going on, where he was, where San Marino is, wtf was happening, why there were sexy italians and ukranian witches and a norwegian angel and loads of beautiful women everywhere.

And I loved how we all send memes about this, about ahahah why is Flo Rida here, what if San Marino wins where would they host Eurovision, all while enjoying an actual catchy song.

And then, in the end, Flo Rida basically disappeared. Who remembers Flo Rida, when we got Ukraine, Italy, Finland, Iceland, and the UK? And Germany being wholesome? And the love story between Norway and Azerbaijan? We collectively forgot about him and I think it's very sexy from Europe to just say "nope" and push America away, even if for just one week.

And this isn't the first time: we basically showed Madonna in a corner in 2019, thanks to Mans, Eleni, Verka and Conchita. Once again, Europeans knows what they want: we don't want Americans. Australia can because they're like that little brother we took under our wing for no reason and now it's part of us. But not Americans.

The rest of the year is all yours, but one week is ours.

________________________

5. That we can lose like bosses

This year, the voting results have been absolutely insane and FOUR COUNTRIES got zero points from the public, while the UK got both zero points from the public AND the jury.

Don't get me wrong, the song was bad. And yes, Brexit played a role in this. And yes, hating England is Europe’s favourite sport.

But can we please all take a moment and appreciate how James Newman reacted? The public gave him a round of applause and he celebrated this achievement like a boss.

And he had all the reasons! He achieved something incredible, he unlocked something that this new voting system was supposed to never lead to. But he did it. So hats off to you, my boy: My Last Breath was better.

Germany is also used to the bottom of the chart, but this year I really thought Jendrik could have a chance to achieve a higher position. The song was funny, carefree, lively, the hand costume was the kind of trash we need and the message was nice as well. But he still got 3 points.

Despite that, Jendrik celebrated like a maniac and seeing his this happy made me happy as well. I really wish him the best.

________________________

6. That FUCK YOU JURY

Again, same message every year: the jury vote should be eliminated. It's a fucking farce and their votes have nothing to do with what the public want.

The jury focuses on the voices, except when they don't, and clearly giving points to your neighbours is because you like the song, not because they're your neighbours.

I usually make fun of Greece and Cyprus showing eternal love to each other, by giving 12 points to each other every year, but this time, it sounded even more stupid than usual. It really looked like a farce. Why should we see this farce? Why can't we just choose what the public wants? So at least we would blame ourselves for our shitty musical tastes.

Even if I'm pretty sure we all have great musical tastes. Let's not forget that in 2019 the public's winner was Norway, with a song that mixed english, a catchy rhythm and an amazing part in yoik language. Arcade is good as well, but we cannot deny the norwegian entry was a lot more interesting.

And this year, the public's taste was flawless:

Look at this beauty: italian glam rock, ukranian techno folk, french powerful ballad, finnish hard rock and whatever that thing was with Iceland.

There's variety, there's everything for everyone. And there are native languages. Italian, Ukranian, and French on top three, followed by English.

Moral of the story: the public is great and the jury should be abolished forever.

________________________

7. That Ukranian technofolk is all we needed in our lives

I didn’t see enough love for Go_A, so as italian, I think it's my sworn duty to give my appreciation to them and their amazing entry, because this band is awesome and Shum is currently on top of the Spotify top 50 - as it should be, because everyone should listen to it and join this slavic rave party.

I already liked their entry for 2020, Solovey. But I also liked My Last Breath from the UK and Universo from Spain. And this year they brought two of the worst songs. So I was very wary of Go_A.

But Shum is an absolute blast. Katerina Pavlenko's voice is unique and the song is even more, because based on ukranian folklore and traditional dances to summon the spirit of spring. They managed to teach something to all Europe in a three minute song and I think that’s incredibly sexy of them.

And so, I searched for other songs and OMG, I don’t know how it’s possible, but they are all great. Rano-Ranenko, Zhalmenina, Tanula, they all are perfect and I’m in love with this band.

And if all of this is not enough, THEY DID A COVER OF DANCING LASHA TUMBAI. The most iconic Eurovision song, sang by our god Verka. And this is the coolest, most badass cover ever in the whole universe. Please listen to it HERE everyone needs to hear this.

So thank you, Ukraine, for giving us Go_A. We all had a small empty place in our hearts and this place has ben perfectly filled by them.

And yif you think you don’t need ukranian technofolk, is only because you still haven’t listened to it. Please listen and enjoy Shum. You’re welcome.

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8. That rock and roll never dies (and Italy’s well deserved victory)

The last time Italy won was in 19-fucking-90. 31 years ago. I was just born.

And now, they finally won again. And what a song! Despite being italian, I've never listened to Maneskin before, but oh damn, this song is good. Not all their songs are, but this one is. And also Morirò da re.

Their show was perfect as well. This post is really eye-opening about how well they put on their show. The use of the stage, the movements, everything has been part of a great performance, even their clothes. Damiano's voice never faltered, despite having an entire continent watching him. They handled the stage like bosses, despite being only in their twenties. And they gave us some good fucking rock.

And so the public said a loud "FUCK YOU" to the jury and chose its winners. The sassy, sexy italians.

And yes, I know that there has been a lot of petty polemics because those youngsters are having drugs!1!! as if they were a bunch of idiots who used drugs on international TV, with their manager sitting next to them.

Of course it was a pointless accusation and honestly I don't care if some people are sore losers. The drug results were negative anyway, what a shocker.

What we should truly think about is how strong the Maneskin's bladders are, because they spent the whole evening of the final drinking the entire alcohol supply of the Eurovision and, at the end, they were still happy and cool. Hats off to you, you sexy people.

This man is just iconic, why did I miss him before.

Also, have some more Maneskin. You know, as a treat.

________________________

9. That solidarity and wholesomeness are the biggest winners

It's just beautiful to see these nice people, from all over Europe, bonding, having fun, taking photos together and being friends.

The true winner of this, is probably Norway: Tix wanted to have a good time and he had a good time. The video of him vibing with Ukraine and Germany while listening Hard Rock Hallelujah is the best (HERE). His love story with Efendi from Azerbaijan is even better (please, check the video on his youtube channel, it's hilarious). I don't like his song, but he's a great guy and deserves everything.

The italian and finnish rock relationship is also great. Maneskin and Dark Sides found each other, considering they were the only two rock bands in the competition, so mutual appreciation was inevitable.

But Damiano is also a man of culture and he appreciates Ukraine's entry. And Ukraine appreciates both Finland and Italy. Is this what world peace looks like? Because I love it.

________________________

10. That Italians will be Europe's clowns again (and you're all allowed to make fun of us)

Beware, Europe: we Italians are messy and chaotic, our presenters don’t know a single word in English, we are homoerotic AND homophobic at the same time, our musical competitions are so fucking sloooow... let’s say next year’s Eurovision is going to be interesting.

And yes, you’re allowed to make fun of us. We don’t care, we won, so we deserve to be Europe’s clowns once again.

And I don’t know who the presenters will be (my bets are on everyone’s favourites: Fiorello, Amadeus and Malgioglio), I don’t know how we will ridicule ourselves once again, I don’t know where will we find the money to put on the show, I don’t know how ungodly long it will be... but I know that Mans Zelmerlow will be part of it. This man loves Eurovision just like all of us, so I can already see him packing his suitcase and planning his flight to Italy. Come to us, Mans, we will wait for you. We actually need an English presenter, so if you have nothing else to do...

[hillaryisaboss]

Lots of narratives have been going around about why Hillary lost. Most are placing the blame directly on the candidate herself, ignoring a few key points: 1. Hillary won the popular vote by 3 million votes. Yes. 3 million. To minimize this or not take it into consideration proves you are bias in your analysis of why Hillary lost. You don't win the popular vote by 3 million if you are a truly bad candidate. And for historical reference, Al Gore only won the popular vote by 500,000. Hillary won it by 3 million. 3 million votes is *A LOT* of votes. You cannot ignore this fact if you want an un-bias analysis. Also -- both popular vote winners Al Gore and Hillary Clinton were hurt by progressives (Nader and Bernie) who got too comfortable after 8 years of a Democrat in the White House. Our side seems to shoot itself in the foot after 8 years in power. Every vote counts, especially in swing states. Because guess what? You can win the popular vote and still lose the election due to the electoral college. Progressives blew it big time for the second time in 20 years and hurt our popular vote winners Al Gore and Hillary Clinton. 2. In U.S. politics, one party usually has power over the White House for only 8 years. Very rarely does a party hold onto the White House longer than 8 years. The last time was when Bush Senior won after Ronald Reagan, but then he quickly lost re-election to Bill Clinton. Democrat Al Gore couldn't even win after Clinton left us with a surplus and booming economy. This usually happens because the side that isn't in power tends to rise up, while the side that occupies the White House gets lazy and complicit. From a historical perspective, America was already headed towards a Republican Administration in 2016. Combine that with the racist backlash to Obama, and Trump exploiting the rise of racist nationalism, it's no wonder their base turned out and ours didn't. Remember -- under Obama, the Democrats have lost 900 legislative seats nationwide and most of the Governorships and state legislatures are now Republican controlled (in addition to the White House and U.S. Congress). The backlash to Obama has been strong and was bound to hurt us in 2016. Point is -- in American politics, very rarely does the same party occupy the White House for more than two-terms. This especially holds true when you combine that with racism and the rise of nationalism working against the first African American President. Conservatives were out for blood after 8 years of Obama, while our side shot itself in the foot by allowing Bernie to run as a Democrat. Nader all over again! 3. Just as in the United Kingdom (Brexit), there has been a worldwide resurgence in a nationalistic white working-class. Trump exploited this in a way Bernie Sanders never could have. Why? Because nationalism is being used to scapegoat immigrants and minorities. The 2016 election truly was an election about which party was going to turn out their base (whites vs. minorities). That's why Hillary spent her time trying to convince us of the dangers a Trump Presidency posed to minorities. And if we had voted in levels similar to 2008, our base would have triumphed. But a core part of our base was missing -- young voters that showed up for Obama but not Hillary. Why? Bernie fucking Sanders. Most of the "Bernie-or-Bust" voters I knew were young male progressives who puked at the thought of ever voting for Hillary. They even called Bernie a "sell-out" when he half-heartedly campaigned for her. What a shame. Because in the face of Brexit, every vote counted. Remember -- Trump only won the swing states by a total of 80,000. How many "Bernie-or-Busters" were in the swing states? Seriously -- never underestimate angry white men showing up at the polls (Brexit and Trump). Our side is much harder to turn out. That's why every vote counted. And yes... I'm looking at you, college students! 4. Comey. The momentum the 3rd debate victory produced was lost after the Comey letter. The 3rd debate was the debate where “Nasty Woman” was coined. The closet thing the Hillary campaign came to naturally produced momentum. And it (luckily) came near the end of the election in the final stretch. Hillary was riding high after the 3rd debate domination – 11% polling lead. Everyone thought she was going to win and Nate Silver gave her over a 90% chance of winning. But then came the Comey letter. His letter also came after the release of Trump’s “pussy grabber” tape. The media narrative switched from “pussy grabber” to “FBI re-opens Clinton E-mail Probe.” The headlines became anti-Clinton rather than anti-Trump. And in American culture, media momentum is huge. That’s why they call it an “October Surprise.” Late deciding voters heavily broke for Trump due to the Comey letter and that’s what made the difference. Hillary ordered a complete analysis of the election and the Comey letter was the only new variable from her 11-point polling bump after the 3rd debate to election day. “Pussy grabber” was old news. “E-mails” became front and center yet again. This is why there is currently an independent review of Comey’s actions as we speak. Official protocol says to never release anything about a case if it may sway an election. Why? Because it might turn out to be false. Just like what happened. Comey ultimately retracted the letter in the final hours of the election, but the damage had already been done. Hillary was finished. Her 11-point debate lead – gone. That’s why there is currently an official investigation into Comey breaking official protocol and swaying the election in Trump’s favor. Once this investigation is complete, I'm sure you'll be hearing from the Clintons. 5. Sexism. The 2016 election proved a far more qualified woman can still lose to a far less qualified man. Actually, Hillary was the most qualified person (man or woman) to ever run for the Presidency. Any man with Hillary's accomplishments and qualifications never would have lost. It wouldn't have even been close. Period. 6. Russian interference. We'll never know exactly how much Russia swayed the election, but the influx of fake news targeting Hillary Clinton definitely had an impact on her public perception, especially in regards to her "trustworthiness." Putin had a vendetta against Hillary because he held her responsible for the protests he faced after his re-election. He also thought Hillary would be far more aggressive and effective than Obama. He'd rather have a puppet and buffoon as President than the brilliant Hillary Rodham Clinton. 7. The media. Hillary's e-mails were made to seem just as bad as the millions of horrific things Trump has done over the course of his bankrupt career. The false equivalence was mind-boggling. In the pursuit of trying to appear "un-bias" by saying both sides were equally corrupt, they ended up being bias against Hillary and helping Trump win the Presidency. The actual un-bias viewpoint is that nothing Hillary has done is anywhere near the level of deplorable things Trump has done. But the media made Hillary seem just as bad as Trump in order to give the impression that they were being "objective." I truly hope the media did some soul-searching after the 2016 election. Tearing down Hillary and glorifying Trump -- giving rise to his "cult-of-personality" has really bitten you in the ass, hasn't it? Now you have at minimum 4 years of covering a manipulative propaganda artist con-man who just likes to play head games. Have fun!! 8. Republican witch-hunts. Republicans abused their power, which led to 8 separate Benghazi investigations. More investigations than Pearl Harbor, the JFK assassination, and 9/11. Yet Hillary was never found of any wrongdoing and came out victorious after her triumphant 11-hour Benghazi testimony. Unfortunately, after so many fake “scandals,” Hillary’s image had been damaged. Which was the entire point of these fake scandals – even if Hillary isn’t guilty, we can still accuse her of corruption and plant seeds of doubt. But rather than viewing the Republicans as the corrupt ones, manufacturing fake Clinton scandals and wasting tax-payer money, many Americans drank the Clinton hate kool-aid (even progressives). All of these factors led to the "perfect storm." Which is why we needed every single vote in every single state. Yet Hillary still managed to win the popular vote by 3 million despite Russian interference, Bernie mania, multiple witch-hunts by Republicans, 11-hour Benghazi testimony, sexism, false equivalent media, rise in worldwide racist nationalism, one party historically only occupying the White House for 8 years at a time, and the devastating Comey letter. 3 million more votes. Despite it all. A majority of Americans agree with our vision and our values. By the millions. And that's not even taking into consideration ID laws and voter suppression of minorities, which greatly decreased the amount we won by. "But, you know, then at the end, we had the Russians and the FBI deal. She couldn’t prevail against that. She did everything else and still won by 2.8 million votes. The finest vote counter in America is Nate Silver. He told you what costed the election.” –President Bill Clinton

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

The Cult Girl (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 6

Hannibal sits in on a regular conversation between y/n and her family. Y/n insists it could have gone worse.

⚠️Bigass trigger warning⚠️: Verbal abuse, emotional manipulation, blood, mention of alcohol abuse and suicide

Anna lived her life believing that she was the main character, constantly denying personhood to everyone around her. She was the romantic hero, and everyone else existed to forward her plot.

This metaphor was imperfect, however, because in all the books you'd read, the main character must overcome some kind of challenge. Nobody ever said no to Anna. Nobody ever criticized Anna. Nobody but you. So you were pigeonholed into the role of antagonist for it. You had to give her credit; growing up on the receiving end of her and Theresa's torture was a compelling villain origin story.

It was obvious that she only wanted you at her wedding to present her with an obstacle. Heaven forbid her story progress without some semblance of petty drama out of her control. She'd cornered you into a painful catch-22; you wanted vengeance, but you couldn't give her the satisfaction of having her special day ruined. What was your play? Ruin it just a little? Walk away?

These thoughts passed through your mind as you sat through the boring ceremony. You wanted to lean over and whisper everything to Hannibal, but he seemed lost in his own thoughts. The vows seemed to drag on forever. Liam's English accent grated on your ears and you wished that he would just shut the hell up.

The ceremony concluded and you hoped to skip out on the reception with a purse full of mini cannolis, but fate had other plans. In a last-minute reach for some kind of scene, the blushing bride waved you over to the head table.

"[F/N]!" Anna shouted, with a big smile across her face. "Come on!"

You fought the urge to feel endeared by this. She looked too happy to be harmful. Your guard was all the way up as you and Hannibal approached the table.

Hannibal pulled a seat out for you while you studied Anna's expression. She fixed her doe eyes on Hannibal. You knew from experience that Anna had the same powerlust as grandma and Theresa. She was just better at keeping a lid on it.

"[F/N], you remember Liam?" Anna said, her voice brimming with excitement.

"Yeah." You nodded, scooting your chair up. "Nice to see you again, Liam."

"Good to see you again, too [F/N]."

"Liam is from Birmingham." She bragged, her smile somehow growing wider.

"Alabama?" You piped up before taking a drink from your water glass.

Every time you were forced to interact with Liam, she reminded you that the man with the strong and unmistakable English accent, was in fact from England. And every time, you slipped in the Alabama comment. It was never not funny.

"Liam, Anna," you said. "This is my fiance, Dr. Hannibal Lecter."

"Many congratulations to you two." Hannibal offered.

"Dr. Lecter, thank you so much for coming." Anna returned. "And thank you for taking such good care of our precious [F/N]. I hope she's not giving you too much trouble. She was quite a handful growing up, but we made it work."

"Don't flatter yourself, you're only four years older than me." You hide your passive-aggressive jab beneath a smile. "You can't take credit for a job you didn't do."

Grandma always thought Anna's protective, borderline maternal behavior towards you was adorable. Of course, it disgusted you. You were little more than an accessory to her. A baby doll she could simulate motherhood with. But, in fairness to her, that was all you were to the adult in the house too. Monkey see, monkey do.

"So have you two set a date yet?" Grandma interrupted your thoughts, just trying to keep the tension down.

"Goodness, no." Hannibal answered. "Ours is a long-term engagement."

"Yeah." You added. "Not until I finish school."

"Well, it's not my fault you aren't expected to graduate on time." Grandma said into her wine.

You tightened your grip on your water glass. "Well, changing your major halfway through will do that."

"I'm just saying," Grandma continued. Whenever she was 'just saying' anything, you knew she was raring to stir things up. "If you had just stayed the engineering track, you wouldn't have to keep Hannibal waiting."

"Well!" Anna cut in, offended that the attention was off her for more than a minute. "Liam and I waited until after college."

"Yes, Anna," Grandma said dismissively, before turning back to you. "Y'know, Dr. Lecter here could probably tell you that psychologically speaking, women are more likely to drop out of college and become strippers when they change their majors?"

Now it was Hannibal's turn to down his entire glass of wine. "Ms. [L/N], where did you get that information?"

"Oh, it was an article I found on Facebook." Grandma answered. "I'll have [F/N] send you a link."

"Ms. [L/N]," Hannibal cleared his throat. "Are you familiar with the concept of misinformation?"

"Of course." She looked offended at the implication that she could possibly not know something.

"See, social media websites like Facebook are inundated with misinformation campaigns." Hannibal explained. "Your claim is not rooted in any psychological fact."

"Yeah, also," You cut in. You scanned the area for escape routes if your attempt to change the subject went awry. "There's a wonderful documentary about how Facebook misinformation campaigns targeted rural counties in England leading up to the Brexit vote."

"Oh, we have a funny story about Brexit." Anna interrupted, taking the bait, hook line and sinker.

Before she could recount the same boring anecdote about being at some regional chain restaurant when the vote was cast, Theresa and her husband joined the table.

"Sorry we're late," Theresa sat down. "Damage control is a twenty-four hour job. What were we talking about?"

"Misinformation." Liam said.

"Perfect timing." You muttered.

"Finally, all three of my girls are together again." Grandma threw her head back and rejoiced. "When was the last time we all got together? Just us four girls, huh?"

"Remember the day before prom, we all went out go get manicures?" Anna reminisced. "And we took pictures of us all dressed up?"

"Oh I remember." You scanned the area for any alcohol to ingest.

"Oh, this is so funny." Grandma laughed hysterically. "Dr. Lecter, did you hear this story? [F/N] went to the prom with a boy who had all along been using her to get close to Theresa! They got together that night! Dated for two whole years after that."

"I've heard an iteration of it." He said, looking over his shoulder. He flagged down a waiter who was holding a bottle of champagne. "Leave the bottle, please."

"Don't drink too much, [F/N]." Anna scolded. "Save some alcohol for the rest of us."

You made sure to maintain eye contact with her as you filled your flute to capacity. "Grandma's paying, isn't she?"

"Anna, baby," Grandma said, rubbing her temples. "It's fine. Let [F/N] drink herself silly. It's a party, right?"

"Wow," Theresa sneered. You knew exactly what she was going to say next. "Like mother, like daughter."

Everyone at the table had enough decorum to recognize that Theresa went too far. You crushed the champagne flute in your grip, letting shards of glass dig into your skin. You glared at Theresa, blood oozing from your palm and dripping onto the white tablecloth.

Wordlessly, Hannibal removed the offending glass from your hand and swaddled the affected area in a napkin. He put pressure on the cut, letting the blood absorb into the cloth.

"Is this the famed '[L/N] woman telepathy'?" Liam whispered to Anna.

"No, [F/N] is just mad because her mother was a drunk who killed herself." Anna thought she was being inconspicuous.

"This has been fun." You stand up from the table. "Really. Great way to spend a Saturday."

"[F/N], sit down..." Grandma ordered, sounding exhausted. "You know Theresa didn't mean that."

"No." You said, each syllable out of her mouth pushing you a step closer to your breaking point. "Y'know what? No. I don't have to put up with this anymore. Anna, congratulations. I hope you and Liam have many long years together."

You turned around to exit as quietly as you could, Hannibal at your side. Your grandmother, who somehow hadn't hit her daily allotted dose of confrontation, wouldn't have it.

"Dr. Lecter, tell [F/N] she's being unreasonable." Grandma pleaded.

Hannibal raised his eyebrows in genuine surprise. In his long-spanning career, he'd never once met a person as tone-deaf as Beatrice [L/N]. He kept his quiet composure as he slowly approached the table.

"Beatrice," he said, beckoning her to lean in. He whispered something into her ear that left her stunned and quaking.

You could hear your grandmother's hysterical sobs growing softer as Hannibal hurried you out.

"Keep pressure on that cut, love." He instructed, talking over the increasingly loud shouts of agony from the head table. "You'll need a few stitches."

Once you were far enough from the venue, you had to ask. "What on earth did you say to her?"

"Nothing that you don't already know." He answered, facing forward.

[jmlascar]

a story of overcoming imposter syndrome

(Or rather, taming it. This shit never fully goes away.)

In 2019-2021, I was doing a Master of Science far away from home. And any time I attended a meeting with my supervisor (a very kind man who loved to chit-chat), I was terrified. 

Basically, I had an imposter syndrome the size of a house. It ate me alive.

My anxiety had gotten so bad I lived with a permanent stomach ache, and those meetings were the bane of my existence. He never criticised me, but I imagined he thought me his worst student ever, and was in deep regret over hiring me.  I was my own harshest critic. In my eyes, the work I was doing was mediocre. Worse, I didn’t even know how to approach becoming better. I felt stupid, and genuinely considered leaving STEM altogether. 

I did try to leave STEM, gave it a good go, actually, had a few existential crises and brand new life-plans, but the universe must have wanted me to stay on this track cause there was always *something* in the way. Brexit, a missed deadline, a paperwork problem. I got accepted to two different non-STEM programs before something outside of my control said “nope”, which at the time felt crushing. It was horribly frustrating. Many tears were shed.

In all that frustration I figured, you know what, let’s give STEM one last chance. Let me take that imposter syndrome seriously, and say: Alright. I’m not good enough. So let me become good enough. And if I give it my best shot and I’m still unhappy, fuck it, I’ll leave. I’ll become an artist or a philosopher, and I’ll never look at a goddamn ssh terminal again. 

So, in good Jules fashion, I applied to a program I was unqualified for. That one is not imposter syndrome speaking; it was a maths grad program in statistics, and I hadn’t done a proper stats course since highschool. But that lack was a big part of why I’d felt so out of my depth in my Astrophysics MSc, that, and my shoddy programming skills, which the new program also offered. So, I applied.

During the interview, I managed to sound extremely enthusiastic and confident in my abilities to pick it up as we went (that’s one thing imposter syndrome teaches you! you become an expert at bullshitting), and so, though the jury told me I’d have to work hard, they took me on. 

It was hard. It was really hard, I’ve barely made any art this past year because of all the work, but I pushed on. Gradually, in fits and starts, I wasn’t feeling like such a fraud anymore. I didn’t care about grades beyond passing: only about learning, about what I could use the knowledge for, and that made all the difference for my self-esteem. 

In the end, what was supposed to be a means to an end, a last-ditch attempt at becoming an astrophysicists, became a new passion. Cause it turns out that actually, I fucking love maths? (Specifically, maths for image processing.)  So I took an internship in that, and I loved it. 

I’ve known I wanted to do a PhD since I knew what a PhD was, but for the first time, I could picture myself doing it. Having the confidence to explore new avenues. Having the skill to implement them. 

Getting funding for that PhD was like my anxiety’s last hurrah, but even then, facing an unkind jury with my whole future in their hands, it never got as bad as the years before, because I knew I had it in me, that I’d done everything I could, and if they refused anyway, it wouldn’t be my fault. Isn’t that a thought?

And I got it! A PhD in maths applied to astro imagery. This has been my first week. It still doesn’t feel quite real. 

To finish, a couple weeks ago I had to present my internship report for that stats program, essentially the last judging to get the diploma. And well, while I thought I’d become confident, it became clear that my perception of my work was still entirely too harsh — they told me I’d done “so much work” and gave me an excellent grade, while I’d felt i hadn’t done enough and was worried they’d say as much. 

So, I guess I’ll always be hard on myself. No avoiding that, I’m built that way now. A lot of us are, especially in STEM, especially women. But if we can channel that feeling into something positive, into motivation to work and improve instead of flagellating ourselves for being a flawed human being? I reckon we’ll be okay.