#not pictured: a year of therapy in the middle of all that lol

[thisismeracing]

The one | CS55

― Pairing: Carlos Sainz x fem!reader (she/her) ― Warnings: mentions of break up and food; typos. ― Summary: Yn is doing well a few months after her break up with Carlos, and so is he. Everyone thinks that this paragraph of their lives is over, but as it happens they may be a chapter to each other, and Yn makes sure everyone knows he was her great love, the one - through her new song. ― A/n: None of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps, but the work is, and I do not allow it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛

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February, 2023

February, 2024

realyn

liked by charles_leclerc, sza, and others

realyn "The One" has just come out on all streaming platforms. I hope this piece of my heart reaches yours. Tune in and dive into the feels 💐🤍

view all comments

saintsainz "for old time's sake" HELLO?????

ynsummer omg another bop!!! I wish I could write songs when I'm sad, the few breakups I had I could only cry and try not to choke on my own phlegm

⤷ fan2000 ewwww LOL

hammert1m3 charles on the likes 👀

leclowns1655 in my head they're not over yet

⤷ mercmickey you need therapy, bestie

lewishamilton great music as usual 💜

francisca.cgomes 😍😍

szadirection I love how the grid's still here supporting here even a year after she and carlos broke up 🥺

popyn WE WERE SOMETHING DON'T YOU THINK SOOO ROSÉ FLOWING WITH YOUR CHOSEN FAMILY 🎤🎤🎤🎤

ferraristrangers I have so many theories for the lyrics and the cover and kksjksdj aaaaaaaa

Old posts

March, 2018

realyn

liked by lewishamilton, ynfan, and others

realyn eat pasta, run fasta, they said 😋😂

view all comments

bieberf1 they my new fav couple now 💋

raintyresainz thank you for feeding us that last carlos pic

hurricaneyn welp now I wanna eat pasta but its like the middle of the night

⤷ alonsochamp eat pasta, sleep fasta 😙😂

carlossainz55 ❤️❤️

amarelorenault her glasses are so cool!!!!! her style is always on point

carlossainz55

liked by yourfriend, fernandoalo_oficial, and others

carlossainz55 we tried homemade, it worked 😋

view all comments

realyn we didn't run fasta this time though :(

⤷ carlossainz55 there wasn't any race this Sunday, cariño

⤷ realyn shhhh, let me be funny

harrystylistee I want what they have!

April, 2018

realyn

liked by hulkhulkenberg, renaultf1team, and others

realyn enjoyed April with my fav spaniard, wrote a few songs for you guys - new album dropping soon!!!!! 🥳

view all comments

aussiegrid howd you like Australia, Yn?

⤷ realyn I loved it, def gonna come back soon 🥰

ynfan 💙💙💙💙💙💙

carlosfullname1 where’s your jacket from?

⤷ realyn website.com 😘

fab2000 can’t wait for the new song and espec the new album!!!!!

July, 2018

carlossainz55

liked by pierregasly, realyn, and others

carlossainz55 Yn's new album "I used to know her" is out now and you guys should run to listen to it 💙💙 she did an amazing job as usual. I'm very proud of you, cariño @ realyn

view all comments

lewishamilton congrats, Yn!

hulkhulkenberg everyone here loved the new album, well done, Yn!

renaultf1team its our garage soundtrack 😎💛

March, 2019

realyn

liked by landonorris, mclaren, and others

realyn the past few months wearing papaya have been amazing! 🧡 and yes, last concert clothes were orange bc of the team

view all comments

landonorris looks like the concert clothes gave us some luck, make sure to wear orange again next time!

⤷ realyn I love you guys but I can't be wearing orange all the time

⤷ yourmanager yes, you can

⤷ realyn shut up, I'm gonna fire your ass

⤷ yourmanager no, you won't

⤷ carlossainz55 jajajaja

tifosinha I love how lando looks like their kid 😂

spaincarlos_ not yn and carlos adopting lando lol

ynfan4 her music taste is *chef kiss* 🤌🏾

ynandsainz yn, your album still on repeat on my apple music!

mclaren 🧡🧡

December, 2019

carlossainz55

liked by charles_leclerc, hulkhulkenberg, and others

carlossainz55 ¡Feliz Navidad! 🎄❤️

view all comments

saturnracer FELIZ NAVIDAD TAN TAN TAN PROSPERO AÑO Y FELICIDAD 🎤

szalover 😭😍 its the way she loves pasta

⤷ cowboyvettel @ realyn pasta or carlos? choose one

⤷ realyn carlos cooking pasta 😙😋😜

July, 2020

realyn

liked by lewishamilton, fernandoalo_oficial, and others

realyn compilation of some of the flowers Carlos gave me and pics he took 💖 Te amo, cariño 💐🌷🌹🌸🌺🌼🌻

view all comments

fonedirection God I see what youve done for others

carlossainz55 you’re my favorite flower, love 🌸💖

⤷ fernandoalo_official you guys know how to be sicklengly cute huh 🙄

piastripastry see? carlos gets flowers regularly to yn and yall out there crying over an ugly ass man who gives you the bare minimum 🫵

March, 2021

realyn

liked by carlossainz, scuderiaferrari, and others

realyn new character unlocked hehe ❤️💛🏎️

view all comments

ynfrance We want a new album, queen!!! save us!

swiftverstappen the way they went through everything togerher 🤧

⤷ russellsainz I want what they have

monegasque16 another day another yn post to make me cry in single and alone

carlossainz55 thank you for the endless support, cariño 💛 you’re my everything

tifosisunshine you’re 😭 my 😭 everything 😭

August, 2022

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, pierregasly, and others

carlossainz55 my kind of free-weekends 🩵

view all comments

sunnyyn yn looks so good 😍😍

yourbestie ❤️ aweee

realyn te amo! 😘

January, 2023

realyn

liked by lewishamilton, francisca.cgomes, and others

realyn happy new year 🙃

view all comments

charlsmonaco where's carlos? 😟

mylightyn I don't like this vibe…

ynwardrobe what is she reading?

lewishamilton 💙

⤷ mclatinha lew do you happen to know something we don’t?

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, fernandoalo_oficial, and others

carlossainz55 ¡Feliz Año Nuevo! 🎉

view all comments

brocedes2010 where's Yn??????

schumini_ at least they seem to be on the same place 🙏🏾🙏🏾

redsainz he looks so good it hurts

back to 2024 💬📩

────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi! I hope you guys liked this piece! I'm set on publishing my drafts but I need time to work on them, this one was saved for a while now, and it's finally here heheh let me know your thoughts!

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©thisismeracing ― do not copy, steal, or translate my work; do not repost on a different media platform.

[therainscene]

I've described myself in the past as "overly-queerbaited" as a way of explaining why it took me so long to come around to Byler endgame as a legitimate possibility... but that's kind of a misleading way of putting it.

Truth is, I've always been too much of a cynical fuck to fall for queerbait... or any other story that promises positive queer rep.

[Sherlock couldn't touch me; I saw this cringe homophobia coming from a mile away. Fans mistaking straight anxiety jokes for meaningful gay subtext was clearly doomed to end in mockery. Nobody deserved to be treated like that... but god, it was easy to predict.]

I think it's a symptom of having grown up under Section 28 -- feeling like I'm being unreasonable for wanting to see queerness normalized is such an ingrained habit that even today I instinctively recoil like a vampire touching sunlight whenever an optimistic queer story falls unrequested into my lap.

But I'm hardly alone in feeling this way -- many queer Millennial and Gen-X fans of Stranger Things are against the idea of Byler because it would ruin the catharsis of watching the gay boy growing up in the same era as we did slowly succumb to the same despair that we did.

[For those who haven't played the VR game: Vecna is speaking in this screenshot.]

There's genuine comfort to be found in painful stories -- this type of catharsis is practically the cornerstone of horror as a genre -- so I can't really fault myself or anyone else for wanting it, despite the obnoxious oversaturation of disappointing queer endings in media.

This is the nostalgia show, after all -- and like it or not, for many middle-aged queers in the target audience, nostalgia is shot through with the pain of homophobia and loneliness.

But do you know who else is a hurt queer(-coded) adult who resents happy endings? This cynical fuck:

Henry personifies despair and loneliness and the dark urge to take our pain out on others -- and when Will is in the picture, I would argue that he also represents internalized homophobia.

Will might represent who we were -- but Henry represents who we've let ourselves turn into.

And I don't think many of us want to admit to that, because that would involve questioning why we have so much in common with the literal villain of the show; why we're still so consumed with self-pity after 20+ years that we're obsessing over the fate of some kid.

I'm not suggesting that wanting a less-than-fairytale ending for a fictional gay boy is equivalent to being a child killer lol. It's perfectly valid to want to see your pain acknowledged, and stories which appeal to that desire deserve to exist.

But between Henry's connection to Will and the cycle of abuse themes of the show, it's clear that this particular story simply isn't about wallowing in the bleakness of growing up gay in the 80s, but about self-actualizing in spite of it all.

So I just can't bring myself to want a "relatable" ending for Will.

As much as I struggle to enjoy positive queer rep, I don't want to be so cynical. I'd thrown up so many walls to protect myself as a teenager that I forgot how desperately I wanted to see just one of those painful queer stories end on the same uplifting note that straight stories were always entitled to: with true love overcoming the odds, saving the day, and living happily ever after.

[But I'm A Cheerleader, a surprisingly fun movie about conversion therapy, is proof that stories like this did exist when I was a teen... but finding them in the pre- and early-internet days amidst so much censorship was a tall order.]

What makes Stranger Things different from most queer stories -- and what allowed it to pierce through my defenses and stab me in the gut -- is that it perfectly mimics those bleak, acceptable-to-the-censors stories from my youth -- only this time, the secret uplifting gay plot twist is real.

Not for the sake of shock value or of grabbing some empty woke points at the last second, but because the plan all along was to slap the audience in the face for believing homophobic lies about the existence of queer happiness.

That's some gourmet catharsis, if you ask me.

Just the possibility that my inner child might finally be vindicated has allowed me to truly let myself want the things I want for the first time in 20 years -- and that's the first step towards finally crawling back out into the sunlight.

Happy Pride Month, everyone. 🌈

[kamryn1963]

My headcanons about the Chicago PD old timers trio (Al, Hank and Trudy)

Some of these I've had for a while and have used in my fics, and some of these I came up with a couple hours ago in the shower. Ya know balance...

Anyhow, if anyone has any of their own if love to hear them. This is just my thoughts/opinions of course <3

• Al was the best at both baking and cooking. Trudy was good at cooking and Hank... had made some editable stuff in his life

• Al was the youngest of the three of them

• Hank's the most talkative and the one who usually starts conversations as Trudy and Al would be okay just to sit in silence for hours

• Camille was close with both Al and Trudy

• Trudy tried to talk to Meredith after Al died and get her to change her mind about not wanting Hank there, but she didn't push that hard as she knew Meredith was grieving

• After Al's funeral, Hank and Trudy went to Trudy's place and just looked at photos and shared memories and stories of Al

• Trudy and Hank frequently visit Al and Lexi's graves

• Trudy told Makayla about Al

• Hank stays in regular touch with Olive and Daniel and when Daniel was old enough, him and Olive told Daniel about Justin. Hank also told his grandson about Camille, Al and Lexi. So he knew all his family

• Justin and Lexi called Trudy "aunt"

• Sometimes, especially as she got older, Trudy regretted not having kids and wondered if she'd even of been a good mom

• Trudy and Hank are still in regular contact with Michelle and Trudy's in contact with Meredith

• Al and Erin were close

• Hank blames himself for Al's death everyday

• After the events of 11x13, Trudy's the only one Hank told about him hallucinating Al that day

• Hank always wanted kids and so did Camille

• Al never wanted kids and was convinced he wouldn't be a good dad due to his less than stellar childhood. That all changed when Lexi was born and Al held her for the first time

• Al named Lexi after Trudy

• They had all spent countless hours at each other's sides in hospitals when one of them was hurt/sick

• Nobody knew them as well as they did

• Al was Justin's godfather and that's what partially led him to taking the blame for Kevin Bingham's murder. Partially because Al was tired and didn't really care what happened to him at that point

• Hank, Trudy and Al, all grew really close to each other after losing people within a year of each other (Justin, Trudy's dad, Lexi)

• Hank and Al attended Trudy's dad's funeral to support Trudy

• Part of Trudy always resented Hank (and Al) for not keeping her in the loop when Al was being investigated for the murder of Bingham

• In 5x21, Trudy had to bring the detectives up to the bullpen that were there to arrest Al (that one's a fact. Just thought I'd remind everyone)

• One Christmas, Al bought all three of them one of those trio friendship necklaces as a joke (Hank and Trudy still have there's)

• Al did track in high school

• Trudy used to steal both Hank and Al's clothes

• Al was a blanket hog

• None of them had the best childhoods. They all needed therapy

• Hank had the most pictures of any of them (a lot of them are collecting dust in his attic because he can't get himself to go through them)

• Al was the most accident prone of the three of them and had the most hospital visits

• Trudy had the least, Hank was somewhere in the middle

• Trudy wishes a lot that they could go back to their patrol days when everything was easier and they were all alive and well

I may make a part 2 at some point. It's almost 3am here, so more will definitely pop into my head when I'm more awake, lol.

[zoguy1]

Here's Flame and Mulberry!!

Flame was an OC my high school sweetheart came up with. He's a Sans x Grillby child.

Mulberry is a Swap!Sans x Fell!Sans ship child I made back in middle school. For whatever reason, I was obsessed with the Sanscest ship children. I think it was because I loved the idea of combining two character designs and fusing design motifs and whatnot.

Also, this Mulberry has no connection to Star-Beau's Mulberry. UT OC | MULBERRY + BIO by Star-Babu on DeviantArt. Complete coincidence that we both have CerryBerry children named Mulberry. Lol.

I've explained half of Mulberry's story in Calli's Pride Art.

Mulberry's story starts before he meets Calli. He canonically was just a child that spawned into existence, and Swap Sans was like "omg so cute! Fell Sans, can we keep him?" And Fell Sans was like "Bitch, why? We can barely afford food on the table." And Swap Sans was like "I'm gonna keep him anyway."

The reason why I chose the CherryBerry ship wasn't because I actually shipped these two. It was because I didn't see any popular CherryBerry children. Like, Ink x Error had Paperjam and Gradient. Ink x Dream had Palette. Geno x Reaper had Goth, and so on and so forth. So I believed that having a Swap Sans x Fell Sans would be well received. My actual opinion on the ship at the time was very meh. I liked Swap!Sans, I didn't like Fell!Sans very much. And that favoritism was obvious in this story. Lol.

Mulberry grew up with a normal-ish childhood. It was obvious that things weren't going great at home. But Mulberry didn't let it sway him at the time. He was a very sweet child. Very friendly and nice to his fellow peer group.

But things at home got progressively worse. Fell!Sans was pretty much the breadmaker of the house. He had to work double time to keep food on the table, and that piled onto an alcohol addiction he apparently had. Swap!Sans had a problem with this because Fell!Sans was pretty neglectful of Mulberry.

Arguments would pile up and one day, in a drunken rage, Fell!Sans severely injured Swap!Sans, ending up with him in the hospital, Fell!Sans loses custody of Mulberry, and Mul ending up in the care of Swap!Papyrus while Swap!Sans was recovering. Once Swap!Sans recovered, he moved in with his brother and that's where Mulberry lived by the time he meets Calli.

The only reason why this story had this child of divorce plot was literally that Mulberry was a Mary Sue, and I, like every young teenager, thought that giving him a tragic backstory would fix that. Now having gone to therapy for several years, I can see where little kid me came up with this story.

Tips for being a story writer: don't give your OCs trauma. Give yourself trauma and then project it onto your OCs. /j

Post Calli's adoption, Mulberry made some friends. One of them being Flamelight. Mulberry and Flame kind of became self-inserts for me and my at the time bf. So they were just pretty much a fluffy romance. I don't remember Flame having much of a story. He's a chill nerd who loves science and has anxiety.

When Mulberry and Flame grew up, Flame got his dad's restaurant, and Mulberry became a baker. having that passion since he was a kid. They have a child named Cambri Pepper who was close to his cousin Juniper.

I have a fondness for Mulberry because he was the first time I started posting my art and my OCs. I opened up an ask blog on Amino, and I had frequent engagement with it. It made me feel like I had something to give to the world, and that the world appreciated what I did.

I want to start up another ask blog at some point. Not now. But at some point.

Here's some Mulberry pictures I didn't share on Calli's Pride post. This is him with Parasplat.

Him with Nova.

A playlist I made, because I noticed that a lot of songs that reminded me of Mulberry were all candy, food, and comforty themed songs.

[bisluthq]

olivia dean is really talented neo-soul singer (elton john boosted her and she got nominated for the mercury prize) so if harry is at all influenced by that I would love a soul/motown type record from him

I hadn’t heard her stuff before today - listened this morning - and I also just read a bit about her and looked at her insta page (what’s weird also is quite a few of my friends follow her so idk why I just totally missed that she existed) and I know it’s clearly very early days but holy shit this girl seems soooo well suited for Harry lmao? Like holy shit? She’s incredibly talented musically (like beyond beyond beyond). She says she hates being boxed into one musical style and wants to explore psychedelic and folk sounds a lot more and she says she regrets letting other people tell her what to do when she started and really actively wants to stop doing that and only make things she’s very into (which I think Harry would deeeeply understand lmao). She’s legit into fashion - both edgy haute couture stuff and like just generally clothes. She is suuuper family orientated (she wore her granny’s picture on her chest for her Glasto performance and it’s double cool because she’s been saying for a few years that her biggest dream is playing Glasto at some point in her life). She’s a very ardent feminist. She is very into traveling and has said she hates doing the very touristy things and rather enjoys experiencing the local culture like under the radar. She does social media detoxes because being online too much stressed her out a lot. She enjoys sports of all kind and does a lot of yoga and enjoys swimming (she’s said she hates the cold tho so that’ll be something he has to convince her about lol or she’ll just watch him and take the piss) and cycling (she apparently cycles a lot around London). Aside from the yoga she’s also into some other wellness crap (she’s talked about saunas a few times and like which types of incense she enjoys most) and she goes to therapy and is a big proponent of people going to therapy lol. They both self-identify as dog people. She actively cares about privacy and has said that one of the challenges with becoming more famous is people coming over to meet her which makes her feel awkward (although she’s obviously very grateful to her fans - much like him she seems SUPER appreciative of fans actually). She says she can get really shy - as a kid it was almost crippling shyness and now obviously it’s not crippling but she struggles with imposter syndrome and just feeling shy/awkward. She is super into knitting (I don’t think Harry knits lol but it’s the kind of hobby I can imagine him finding super fucking cool lol and asking her to knit him lots of shit). She rented a bright yellow van to tour in and play socially distanced gigs during lockdown from and that seems like something Harry would find/thinks is super cool. She’s said her ultimate era to live in would be the 70s and I think Harry would agree lol. She’s very funny and silly and fun from the interviews I read and the videos I watched but also knows a lot of stuff and is very interested in a lot of things.

The only thing I can find that really separates them is Olivia is reaaaally into West Ham and Harry’s always rooted for Man U lol but that seems like a reason for fun banter rather than a profound disagreement 😂💀 especially since the point is they both love footie. Also she grew up proper upper middle class and as we know Harry didn’t but her family seems super normal and very cool and she loves them all sooooo much. She can’t shut up about how much she loves her mum and dad and how cool her granny was. They also didn’t have a background in entertainment at all, like she got into the Brit school by auditioning and convinced her family to buy her a secondhand piano at that point just to start learning so yeah like quite normal people. Also she says she really values alone time and needs to be by herself now and then which is the opposite of Harry but he ought to get better at alone time to be perfectly honest so that’s also not a bad thing.

I also haven’t found her referencing Harry a single time - and she’s spoken about a lot of celeb crushes and musical crushes and inspos and contemporary artists she admires - which I bizarrely feel like is a good fit for him? Like she has never appeared to give an iota of a fuck about Harry Styles™️ but based on her interests and personality would really enjoy chilling with Harry the lad and actually working with Harry the musician even.

she’s also like BEYOND stunning. All of Harry’s gfs/hookups are always very pretty wbk but this girl is absolutely unreal and apparently v chill about it too like a few of the interviews I read mentioned she shows up with no makeup and she’s said while she loves fashion she hates having to dress up too often and doesn’t like high heels etc.

Very early days for them but I tentatively ship tf out of this lol.

[solitarelee]

15 Questions for 15 Mutuals

I got tagged by @ratt-teeth and I'm very happy because no one tags me in these things!

Are you named after anyone? Yeah, I'm actually named after multiple relatives; I have three names and all but one is an aunt or uncle.

When was the last time you cried? I teared up a little at therapy last Monday but it wasn't really a cry. The last time I properly cried was last Thursday; I was too sick+injured to make it to my grandmother's funeral and mom sent pictures. I cried really hard when I saw my grandmother, which is probably a sign that it's a good thing I wasn't actually at the funeral ugly sobbing lol.

Do you have kids? Nope. I want them eventually but it's not very likely that I'll be able to afford it.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Honestly, not really. I use it jokingly with friends who also use it a lot. Once I figure out their sarcasm patterns I can mimic it. I mostly use it with that type of friend who very much enjoys to be bullied, because sarcasm from me is mostly bullying lol.

What sports do you play/have played? I played soccer in elementary and I liked it even though I was bad at it, but as anyone who played sports in elementary can tell you, that's the absolute last moment in your life where you can play a sport because you like it and not because you're good at it. Similarly, I always loved swimming, but was never good enough at it to call it a sport. In middle and high school I rode horses competitively in a myriad of different kinds of shows.

What's the first thing you notice about other people? How they dress. The second is how they stand/hold themselves. I'm VERY faceblind so those are the two things I can most easily use to identify people later.

What's your eye color? Brown! I'm kind of Default Human colored. Generic. During the summers I look like how sci-fi authors describe post-racial future humans.

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings but I'm joining in the chorus of this being a baffling dichotomy since scary movies sometimes have happy endings and a LOT of non scary movies have miserable endings lol. But I personally don't like to make things that don't have happy endings. It's necessary sometimes, but I'm just a sap.

Any special talents? I can make an alien clicking noise in the back of my throat that my mom swears sounds exactly like medical equipment.

Where were you born? in the back seat of a Greyhound bus rollin down highway 41

What are your hobbies? Depends on if you define hobby as "a thing I do that requires effort but I am not paid for" or "a thing I do to relax." I do calligraphy, and I write, but sometimes I'm paid for those things. I like to play very laid back video games and I enjoy reading, both manually and via audiobook. I really enjoy making spreadsheets and find any excuse I can to do so.

Do you have any pets? I have two cats, Emma (who is a supermodel) and Cole (who is orange).

How tall are you? 5'6 and some change. 169cm.

Favorite subject at school? Oh, I was that wretched little beast who liked all of them. My favorite changed every year based entirely on teacher. Except Spanish. I'm terrible at languages. I think most years I enjoyed math the most, because it was very easy and so I didn't have to pay attention. In other classes I had to follow along and take notes so I would learn the facts to pass the test, but in math, you could learn exactly what you needed just by doing the assigned homework, so there was no need to listen in class or take notes. Might as well have been a 50 minute free-reading period.

Dream job? No idea. Something that pays well that ends when I clock out. I don't actually care what it is, I just want work/life balance. Instead, I'm a teacher.

I don't actually have 15 mutuals, I think I might not even have ten, and the ones I do have would mostly not appreciate being tagged. I'm going to tag @chaumas-deactivated20230115 anyway because I think it's funny. Also @hawnks.

[fortheninth]

alright, here’s that year end selfie post!! it was a good year for pirates and gender and getting stabbed and weirdly, middle school remembrance. i went to two renaissance faires, hosted/attended several fun themed parties (including “pirates” and “orbs”), convinced a few long distance friends to come visit me, got a new tattoo and some more holes in my ears, started hormones (and therapy lol), changed my name socially, sewed myself a pirate shirt and a cape (both pictured!), made and sold a bunch of art, unfucked my knee enough to run a 5k, grew my hair out real long and chopped it off again, got a promotion at work, and finally caught covid after three goddamn years. thanks 2022, it’s been real. 

[image descriptions: ten photos of Max, a white person in their late 20s with dyed orange hair in various lengths and styles.

1. a mirror selfie, wearing a loose fitting denim shirt and soft pants over a striped tank top

2. a picture taken on top of a mountain with a view of the ocean and green hills in the background

3. a mirror selfie in a tattoo parlor showcasing a new upper arm tattoo, of a sword surrounded by pomegranates and leaves

4. a selfie taken on a sunny beach, wearing a black swimsuit top and sunglasses

5. a mirror selfie, wearing a yellow t-shirt with puffins printed on it, shorts, and goose socks (mostly white with a yellow toe area, like a beak, and there are two dots for eyes)

6. a selfie indoors in the Old Navy oranges shirt (dark blue with oranges printed all over it)

7. a selfie taken at a pirate themed mini golf course, dressed as a pirate in a tricorner hat, flowy white shirt, vest, and various pendants.

8. a selfie indoors wearing a button down t-shirt printed all over with skeleton hands doing peace signs, and collar pins shaped like skulls.

9. a mirror selfie, dressed as Howl from Howl’s Moving Castle, in a flowy white shirt, black pants, and a cape with a blue and pink diamond pattern and red lining.

10. a close up mirror selfie in a reddish orange striped sweater and freshly cut short hair.

/end i.d.]

[pandanscafanfiction]

Hi! 3, 10, 35? 🌿😊

3: are there any specific themes you enjoy exploring in your fics?

Hmmmm.... usually the theme is always surrounding a romance or a conflict of romance. A lot of people dislike the romanticization of love or they find people who write homosexual romance are "sexualizing" it but I find that I love the "thought" or the "romanticization" of love and physical affection and it is what i really focus on and becomes the center of all my fics. The real me in real life is very uncomfortable and unwanting of physical intimacy and physical affection due to things that have happened to me years ago, not too long after i graduated high school. To put it shortly, i was put in multiple sexual situations by two different men at my old place of work that I could not escape from. I haven't been the same since then and though i do go to therapy now, it is a slow-going process. It is why all of my fics are only m/m or m/m/m pairings. I can't bear the thought of writing a heterosexual romance and even today I can't really read them either, mostly... Nowadays I'm attempting. I'm only just now starting to try thanks to a few other lovely HL writers who write MCs as gender nuetral as possible and that's nice because I can picture the genetals MC has to my desires or mental health capacity at each individual moment. Sorry- this one was a long one and probably not what you were expecting... 😅 Basically, I write mostly centered all around love and physical romance to make up for the lack thereof in my real life and (and I don't like putting it like this but it's true) feel normal since none of these things bring me pleasure anymore.

10: what's your favorite part about the fic writing process?

Oh, DEFFINITELY the diologue! Every draft of a fic I write, I only write diologue. I go in with some desire of where I want it to go overall, but otherwise these characters really do just write themselves. I love how they interact with one another whether it be angsty or silly. ❤️ Then all I do is fill out the scene around them or their feelings/actions to go along with their words 😊 I REALLY love dialogue.

35: what do you enjoy most about being a fic writer?

The lovely comments!!! I read and respond to each and every one because I am so thankful that people take the time to read my work and it really encourages me to keep writing when I know they are also having just as good of a time with the fic as me (most of the time they are having even more fun than me lol)! It also helps me judge/scale whether i'm doing a good job making the physical intimacy sound good and realistic/believable since i have no range of my own for a base. But I also love the community in general. I rarely get into something as deeply as I am with HL. The only others in life were FFXV a few years back and Naruto when I was in middle/high school 😅 but when I do, I love all the memes/content from the other creators and getting to know them as well.

Thanks for the asks! @silasbug ❤️ it made my day ❤️

[jmlascar]

a story of overcoming imposter syndrome

(Or rather, taming it. This shit never fully goes away.)

In 2019-2021, I was doing a Master of Science far away from home. And any time I attended a meeting with my supervisor (a very kind man who loved to chit-chat), I was terrified. 

Basically, I had an imposter syndrome the size of a house. It ate me alive.

My anxiety had gotten so bad I lived with a permanent stomach ache, and those meetings were the bane of my existence. He never criticised me, but I imagined he thought me his worst student ever, and was in deep regret over hiring me.  I was my own harshest critic. In my eyes, the work I was doing was mediocre. Worse, I didn’t even know how to approach becoming better. I felt stupid, and genuinely considered leaving STEM altogether. 

I did try to leave STEM, gave it a good go, actually, had a few existential crises and brand new life-plans, but the universe must have wanted me to stay on this track cause there was always *something* in the way. Brexit, a missed deadline, a paperwork problem. I got accepted to two different non-STEM programs before something outside of my control said “nope”, which at the time felt crushing. It was horribly frustrating. Many tears were shed.

In all that frustration I figured, you know what, let’s give STEM one last chance. Let me take that imposter syndrome seriously, and say: Alright. I’m not good enough. So let me become good enough. And if I give it my best shot and I’m still unhappy, fuck it, I’ll leave. I’ll become an artist or a philosopher, and I’ll never look at a goddamn ssh terminal again. 

So, in good Jules fashion, I applied to a program I was unqualified for. That one is not imposter syndrome speaking; it was a maths grad program in statistics, and I hadn’t done a proper stats course since highschool. But that lack was a big part of why I’d felt so out of my depth in my Astrophysics MSc, that, and my shoddy programming skills, which the new program also offered. So, I applied.

During the interview, I managed to sound extremely enthusiastic and confident in my abilities to pick it up as we went (that’s one thing imposter syndrome teaches you! you become an expert at bullshitting), and so, though the jury told me I’d have to work hard, they took me on. 

It was hard. It was really hard, I’ve barely made any art this past year because of all the work, but I pushed on. Gradually, in fits and starts, I wasn’t feeling like such a fraud anymore. I didn’t care about grades beyond passing: only about learning, about what I could use the knowledge for, and that made all the difference for my self-esteem. 

In the end, what was supposed to be a means to an end, a last-ditch attempt at becoming an astrophysicists, became a new passion. Cause it turns out that actually, I fucking love maths? (Specifically, maths for image processing.)  So I took an internship in that, and I loved it. 

I’ve known I wanted to do a PhD since I knew what a PhD was, but for the first time, I could picture myself doing it. Having the confidence to explore new avenues. Having the skill to implement them. 

Getting funding for that PhD was like my anxiety’s last hurrah, but even then, facing an unkind jury with my whole future in their hands, it never got as bad as the years before, because I knew I had it in me, that I’d done everything I could, and if they refused anyway, it wouldn’t be my fault. Isn’t that a thought?

And I got it! A PhD in maths applied to astro imagery. This has been my first week. It still doesn’t feel quite real. 

To finish, a couple weeks ago I had to present my internship report for that stats program, essentially the last judging to get the diploma. And well, while I thought I’d become confident, it became clear that my perception of my work was still entirely too harsh — they told me I’d done “so much work” and gave me an excellent grade, while I’d felt i hadn’t done enough and was worried they’d say as much. 

So, I guess I’ll always be hard on myself. No avoiding that, I’m built that way now. A lot of us are, especially in STEM, especially women. But if we can channel that feeling into something positive, into motivation to work and improve instead of flagellating ourselves for being a flawed human being? I reckon we’ll be okay. 

[highdramas]

the world’s a little blurry | b.b.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

warnings: none

word count: 2107

summary: bucky is home, and he is yours

note: this is a one shot for now, but i definitely have more ideas for these two <3 this’ll be heavily inspired by tfatws so this is a spoiler warning for anything mentioned! also this is my first time writing bucky so pleaseeeeee give me some mercy lol

enjoy! <3

it’s nearly three in the morning, and you’re lucky if you stay up past midnight, so bucky makes a point to be quiet as he tiptoes into the apartment. after a mission gone awry in the apartment building where you had been neighbors, you’ve been staying with the superhero. something about not losing you and you’re safest here. bucky’s not stupid— caring about someone is a gamble, and it had become clear to his enemies who exactly it was that he cared about.

living with you came lots of things that bucky was not expecting. first off, you’re very cluttered. you call it controlled chaos, he calls it a mess. he’s fascinated by the state of your night stand, mostly. a dying plant and one loose airpod, two half empty water bottles, an empty starbucks cup.

second off, you have a cat. her name is katherine, but you call her kitty, occasionally kiki. and while bucky had been determined not to get attached, after awhile, it was difficult not to. she rubbed up on his legs, cuddled in his lap on the couch, slept on his chest in the middle of the night. she’s fucking adorable, and not even the winter soldier can deny that.

third off… you. you as a whole. he’s sure that it would’ve been a shock living with anyone, but the care that you give him… he’s not used to having someone making sure he’s eating. he’s not used to someone checking up on him throughout the day. he’s not used to having someone to come home to.

it’s nice.

it feels safe.

and he’ll kill anyone who tries to take this peace away from him.

bucky groans as he shucks his jacket off, feeling exactly where his muscles ache. he tries to keep his volume minimal. finally, he opens the door to the bedroom. the bedroom that you share.

this was the biggest adjustment of all.

he’d barely slept in a bed at all before you came along. too soft, too comfortable. he told you as much that first night, and what you had said shocked him.

“well, i’ll just sleep on the floor with you.”

no, oh, just get in bed. no, c’mon, it’s nice. none of those things. just understanding.

but it was more than understanding. it was meeting him exactly where he was.

that was three months ago, and you had kept your word. if you weren’t sleeping on the floor with him, you were on the couch with your hand tangling down, brushing along his hair, his shoulder. every time he felt you bucky swore that he could cry.

it was two months ago that he suggested you both sleep in the bed. and while it wasn’t every night, and some nights he padded out to the living room with a blanket and pillow… it was progress.

and he would wake up to find that you had joined him on the floor.

the nightmares weren’t gone. he’s not sure if they ever would be. but they were growing few and farer between, and the ones he did have were growing more manageable.

things were getting better.

of course, they were not perfect. and he knew that you didn’t expect them to be. he has therapy once a week, sometimes twice during the particularly hard weeks. he’s grown close with sam and his family. and… you.

his girl.

as the door creaks open, he almost chuckles at the sight of you. you’re laying horizontally across the bed, taking up both your side and bucky’s. katherine is curled in at your chest, her nose nearly touching yours. your mouth is open and he can see that there’s a bit of drool in the corner of your mouth, and that does make him laugh. it stirs you and he freezes.

bucky watches as you slowly wake, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, and then rubbing the drool from your mouth. “ew,” you mumble, still half asleep, and bucky leans in the doorway wearing a smirk.

“go back to sleep, doll.”

you hum and stretch, and so does katherine, giving a wide yawn. “you’re home.”

home.

had he ever had a home before? 

he did once, as a child. a time that feels so distant, so separate from the life that he leads now. sometimes, it’s hard to even picture the faces of his family members.

he had this apartment, but it never felt like home. not until you waltzed into it with your clutter and your laughter and your vibrancy. not until you cooked dinner hip to hip, not until you listened to music that he had never heard of, not until you watched some movie that was your favorite.

you’re home.

bucky smiles and he nods, sitting on the edge of the bed, pushing your hair back. “i’m home,” he says quietly. “i’m sorry i’m so late.”

you shake your head, your hand taking his. he still wears the gloves. you raise your eyebrows at him. “can i?”

he nods. you make quick work of removing each of his gloves, tossing them across the room, which makes bucky smile. he knows he’ll be picking those up in the morning. you press a kiss to his palm, the one that is flesh and bone. and then you take the other and do the same. “missed you, buck.”

something in his heart constricts as he watches you-- washed in moonlight that comes in through the window, sleepy smile on your face, eyes fixed on him. he knows that look, and he knows what it means. he doesn’t know if he deserves it, but he tries. he’ll always try for you.

“i wasn’t even gone twenty four hours,” the smirk is evident in his tone even if you can’t see it, but you scoff and roll your eyes. “i think you’re needy.”

“needy!” you repeat and laugh, falling back onto the pillow. kitty stirs and looks up at bucky, letting out a loud meow. “she’s the needy one. look at her.”

“both of you.” he scratches kitty’s head and then kisses the top of yours before he stands again. “i’m gonna shower.”

sleep is escaping you and you push yourself up onto your palms. “can i join you?”

he chews on the inside of his cheek and shrugs his shoulders innocently. “better pick up the pace then, soldier.”

with a laugh, you kick the sheets off of you. “yes sir.”

he rolls his eyes and you both shuffle into the bathroom. now, in the light, you’re able to get a good look at him. and your jaw drops slightly at what you see. “bucky,” you say and he already knows what’s coming. you touch the side of his face where a bruise is blossoming. “how the hell does this even happen?”

“part of the gig.”

you groan and he smiles and he does so because he loves you. he loves your mess and he loves your doting, he loves your cat and he loves coming home to see that you’ve taken up the entire bed. “you’re an old man. one of these days you’re gonna have to retire.”

“got unfinished business first.”

you know of his past. of course you do. although, you’re a firm believer that it’s not his past, rather than a past that was decided for him against his will. you’ve made a point of making your stance in that clear. you have heard stories of what bucky has done, but you have tutted and shaken your head. “what hydra did.”

these are the things that bucky tells himself, but it is different to hear it from someone else. someone who is not steve, or sam, or another avenger who has also committed morally grey acts. because, yes, they are all good and trustworthy and worth listening to-- but you. you are his girl. you are his girl who laughs at his jokes and teases him and never once babies him for what happened to him, but you’re also the girl who has woken him from nightmares, who has tended to his wounds, who has been held back from a fight just to defend his honor. you have seen him in his entirety, and you have never balked.

“alright, well--” it’s not lost on you how his eyes trail down your body as you undress, turning on the water and checking the temperature. “as soon of this business of yours is finished…”

“i know.”

the two of you share a look and he gives a crooked grin. “you look nice.”

“there’s dried drool on my face.”

“yeah, i know.”

it’s been nearly a year since you met james buchanan barnes and yet he still gets you to blush. he practically lights up at the sight of the color on your cheeks. “are you--”

“shut up and get in the shower,” you retort, pulling back the curtain and stepping into the steaming water.

“yes, ma’am.” you hear the shuffling of his clothes falling to the floor and then he is behind you, hands going up and down your arms. you let out a sigh and tilt your head back, peering up at him. water trails down his nose, dripping off and onto your forehead.

you don’t tell bucky, but you do worry. you worry every second that he’s gone on a mission. you know that you don’t have to say it, that he knows. and you trust that he will come home to you. bucky turns you and he holds your face in his hands and he presses his lips to yours and you know that he feels the same way.

i’ll always come back is spelled out in the way that he kissed you, the way that he holds the back of your head. we have forever is heaved from your lungs as he sucks the air from you.

when you part, you smile at his lips-- slightly swollen, pinker than normal. you rub your thumb along the bottom one and he catches your hand. he presses it on his chest, right where his heart hides beneath skin and bone. “you don’t have to do all of this to make up for what they did to you,” you say over the sound of water. “you’re allowed to have a normal life, if you want it.”

“i know.” he pushes a piece of wet hair from your face. “i just don’t--” he shakes his head and you know this all too well-- he doesn’t quite know what to say, he starts closing up and off and away, the high walls that guard his heart and mind beginning to take shape. “i feel like if i don’t… what was it all for?”

delicate hands move across his torso. you lather up a loofah and begin washing away blood and grime. “bucky,” you say and he looks at you, steely blue eyes staring right into yours. “you make people happy. you have people who love you, who care for you. you don’t owe the world reparations.”

he winces as you go over a particular bruise and you slow your movements, make them featherlight. “all i know is,” you begin. “whatever it is you want, whatever it is that fulfills your life… make sure it’s for you.”

a smile curls on his face and he stills your hands. “thank you.” he takes the loofah from you. “let me get you.”

“but i’m not done--”

“please. let me.”

you surrender and he begins to wash you, and your forehead falls to his shoulder, calm washing over your body. you could’ve been standing there for minutes or hours, you’re unsure. he pushes your hair back and at some point you realize that he is washing your hair, and you press gently open mouthed kisses against his chest and you hear his breath catch and you fall in love with him all over again.

“let me get yours--” you mumble around a yawn and you watch as he smirks down at you. “really, let me.”

bucky shakes his head and he turns the water off. “tomorrow,” he says.

you towel off and when you clamber into bed, you feel the weight of him beside you, your cat nestled between the both of you. you feel him pull you into him, his breath against your neck and his lips against your pulse point, and your eyes flutter shut. before sleep captures you, you murmur, “i love you, james bucky barnes.”

the feeling of his smile against your skin is imprinted on your heart, and his words coax you into sleep-- “i love you too, doll.”

bucky barnes sleeps through the night and doesn’t wake once.

[soullikethesea]

The attachment saga finally calmed down. T said I *am* able to see her at a not-super-early time next Wednesday. That gave me so much air to breathe... oof. It really made a huge difference in how I felt.

And then I was able to ask again about this Wednesday and was able to leave the option a lot more open. I told her she could wait and see how she felt the night before, and I also said that I would only want the appointment if she really felt like it would work for her. She appreciated this a lot, it seemed.

The next morning, there we both were. I ended up tapping around subjects and not really able to talk. Not willing to get into the Big Feelings that I'd been having, that was for sure. So we talked about other important things, like how "helpers" are really used to having to push people in order to help them and then with me that backfires. I said that it's because I already push myself to the very edge. I don't need someone else to do that (no thanks). So she got out some objects and talked about how most people are stuck in the middle of their comfort zone and healthy people are in the middle of that zone, but can move around freely. And I already go to a border, so can't move around freely anymore either.

I couldn't really make sense of how she explained these situations. She stacked way too many metaphors on top of each other and I really benefit from concrete examples. (What is the type of behaviour that you want from me? I can make it happen, it just needs to be clear).

So at some point I slipped out: "I don't see what the point is of holding myself back four steps, just so someone else then gets to push me." T was quick to clarify that that's not the point at all. It's so that I could be more safe.

Well...

And we talked about needs and about next year. It seems like we'll likely get another year of therapy. Which is so lucky and it's so disheartening how the situation is for many others.

T lended me a card game about needs. I am so impressed by it, like, wow. I had no idea this is what people mean when they ask about needs. It seems less scary than I thought. Most of them I can influence myself, which is great. But I did feel many hurty pangs when I looked at some of them. When needs involve others, I get really lost and drawn into the lessons of my past. It's just too scary. But it was good to have an overview of which ones those are.

See under read more for a picture.

An opportunity to test your Dutch, lol. The ones on the left are ones I'm relatively comfortable with, the ones on the right are my *alarm sounds* ones.

Confronting.

Today I sold some old books and it was touching upon some of the same appeasement stuff. It helped to think about it like that; two people putting their tokens on the board and then communicating and coming to a compromise. Money stuff is a huge trigger, so I was still shaken for most of the day. But I managed.

I'm so so glad some of the attachment stuff settled a bit. <3

[in-tua-deep]

Are you into my hero academia? What about an AU or crossover with tua?

UHHHH I am technically, like, peripherally? I watched some seasons of the show like two or three years ago and since then have simply absorbed all content through osmosis, reading fanfiction that has canon events, and my sister telling me about the arcs of her fav characters lmao

so a crossover hmmm

First of all you'd have to like, establish whether bnha is an alternate universe or just The Future If No Apocalypse with quirks being traced back to the descendants of the kids born without mothers

So let's say it's that - the glowing baby was the "first quirk" but the truth is people had powers before that. But - well, the Umbrella Academy was obviously a marketing gimmick to those in the future! There were even comics based on them

In the future, you might find some of those comics in museum exhibits dedicated to depictions of powers in the pre-quirk era, but they're just fun depictions and much less popular than, oh, DC or MCU comics which are also in the exhibits!

End of s2 doesn't happen I guess in this au?? No sparrow academy at least lmao. So, the Umbrella Academy stop the apocalypse (again) and the Commission threat is? Neutralized? Whatever. They decide to jump back to the future

Five warns them that time travel is a crapshoot, that he has no fucking idea when they'll land beyond some nebulous "future" because Five can at least control the direction if not exactly how long

Also, Five is like. Super tired. Incredibly tired. Homeboy still has a healing gut wound, time traveled twice, has been jumping all over the place, gotten even more injured, experienced paradox psychosis, and managed to undo time all in the space of like, two weeks. There actually more than that but we don't have time to get into how fucking tired Five is from his ~Month of Hell

Like genuinely this is like putting someone almost delirious from lack of sleep in the driver's seat of a car and expecting to get to your destination in one piece

But hey, the siblings are like "do it uwu" and Five has sacrificed everything for them already so why not get behind the wheel again

So Five jumps them, and of course something goes wrong because Five has pushed his powers like a great big rubber band and honestly it was only a matter of time before he lost his grip and it snapped back to hit him

So here be the umbrella academy: spilled out into the future like a cup of bad coffee.

Five probably isn't in too good of shape tbh, like they're hundreds of years in the future (but hey at least confirmation of no apocalypse am I right) in a world full of superpowers and Five is like. bleeding from his ears and nose probably idk

Let's handwave a little bit - Reginald made them all polyglots so the squad all speak varying levels of Japanese. Allison is the best at it, Five is second best but tends to use more archaic words bc he had missions in Japan back when he was with the commission, and Klaus is third best.

(Ben is the worst bc he decided when he was 16-and-dead that he didn't have to do anything regarding lessons and maintenance and hasn't given a shit since - but also he's dead so)

So you have a bunch of weird adults with a bleeding child in like, an alley who have appeared from nowhere

so of course heroes get involved

Anyway, the squad get taken in and Five is conscious but like, barely? And he's not going to let himself get separated from his siblings again fuck-you-officer and there is a lot of confusion

anyway detective tsukauchi ends up getting involved and ends up having to hear this batshit story and be like "...truth." which sends all kinds of people scrambling because fucking time travel? Like yeah, it's been theorized to be a possible quirk but there's no recorded cases of any sort of time travel that is for more than 24 hours let alone hundreds of years

"I'm an adult." Five says sourly, "I just happened to be returned to my 13 year old body when I time traveled one time."

"True." Tsukauchi says, feeling his soul leave his body, but like. absently. the way he does when he's called in at 2am after getting off of work at midnight.

"I'm 58." Five says.

"Lie." Tsukauchi says, because this is a headcanon hill I will die on.

"I'm probably 58, but it was hard to keep track. I'm at least 50." Five corrects.

"True." Tsukauchi sighs like these six (seven? they keep referring to another sibling and Klaus said 'ghost' like that was fine and it registered as true and Tsukauchi is not nearly paid enough for this) are not giving him a migraine by just existing

on the bright side there's like, probably protocols in place for individuals who are Legally Chronologically Adults but thanks to quirks are Not Physically Or Not Mentally Adults with tests to determine if the individual needs a guardian or not

though i'm gonna be honest idk if Five would pass the test bc he literally cannot take care of himself at all, has never paid taxes or understands how to exist legally, and also his emotional maturity is stunted as all hell. also like. we don't actually know how much being in his thirteen-year-old body affects his mental state but yeAH Five is vibing

anyway Tsukauchi probably phones a friend on this bullshit because Time Travel Child alone is probably enough for the Hero Commission to be like "find a way to control and use it or nuke it from orbit" and that's not even touching whatever the fuck Klaus is doing (shit gets real once 'dead men tell no tales' stops being true) let ALONE Allison's whole deal

on the bright side like, at least Vanya isn't getting side-eyed that much bc Big Destructive Quirks aren't exactly unknown? if vanya wanted to i guess quirk suppressors exist for that until extensive training on how to control a super powerful quirk happens

Tsukauchi in the group chat: Aizawa please I am literally begging you to take this bullshit on

Aizawa: in this economy? with my class?

RatGod: lol we'll take them ;3c

Aizawa: no

Anyway they probably end up having to live at UA while Five insists on trying to get them home still and everyone else is like "oh hey we used to be child soldiers as well! (:" and Aizawa is like "i hate everything about this and everything about all of you but also like nedzu is making me interact with you so :/"

nedzu is out here vibing like "lol i just don't want the hero commission to get their little paws on these time traveling fuckers, i think you should make then teaching assistants or something"

honestly the siblings are probably like. figuring out how to function in the bnha universe and getting like, legally registered and stuff while Five ferally refuses bc that's like saying he's giving up on getting them home and he can do this

Recovery girl tries to heal him a little when he arrives and he passes out for two weeks like, immediately bc homeboy is running on fumes and spite at this point

also i think on principle it would be REALLY FUNNY if the squad got to tag along with the class bc like. Five is thirteen and the class are all 15. this does not sound like a large age gap. anyone who has interacted with teenagers know that the class would squint at Five and be like "who is this sassy lost middle schooler."

I feel like when I was a sophomore we were still like "freshman... babie" even though we were literally only one year older.

i think the difference between the umbrella academy and school kids would be pretty funny like. objectively the bnha kids are lowkey child soldiers?? like they're 15 and fighting villains but like, there's all this red tape and laws and stuff but,,, deku still be breaking his limbs in a child fighting ring against equally superpowered children for like. entertainment and sponsorships sooo

but also like Five would be like "oh cool when is the experimentation class"

"the what"

"you know, when your powers are pushed real hard by putting you in different terrible situations while your dad and sibling stand by with clipboards writing down the exact voltage it takes before you can't use your powers anymore when being electrocuted"

"hound dog's office is right there. therapy is available to you at any time. i need you to know this."

all might calls Luther "my boy" like one (1) time and Luther just breaks down crying probably because he is starved for positive attention

klaus and midnight get along like a literal house on fire, aizawa tried his best to keep them apart for as long as possible but god damn

(klaus: your name is shimura nana??

all might: immediately dies choking on blood)

i feel it absolutely necessary to point out that aizawa, present mic, and midnight are all like, 30? and the umbrella academy are all between 29-early 30s? they are PEERS but like. the umbrella academy are more chaotic due to childhood trauma

the umbrella academy probably get offered to like. also train to be heroes. i mean,, there HAS to be some sort of track for people who change careers right?? you don't have to cement your future as a hero when you're 15 i'm sure there must be something and the squad already have experience if they want to go be legal heroes

diego probably does at least?? diego just vibes honestly. diego gets momo to make knives during a team exercise and they just go feral on everyone else and it ends with diego highfiving momo and someone getting way to close to being stabbed for comfort

Five might just be. legally enrolled as an Actual Student? But also i think it's funny to picture the entire squad just. all in the back of the classroom with luther trying to fit into a high school desk as they take notes on the laws of The Future surrounding heroics

every word out of the umbrella academy's mouths just make everyone more concerned on principal but like, five and klaus are probably the worst offenders. Klaus just says whatever comes to mind with no filter and Five doesn't get what people would consider to be abnormal anymore like

Five: yeah our dad bought us when we were babies and experimented on us throughout our childhood in order to make an elite team of child soldiers superheroes, it happens

Todoroki: ...have you heard of quirk marriages?

izuku probably has an aneurism bc he's is the only person who might recognize them from the comics because you know ya boy extensively researched the idea of heroics in pre-quirk eras (batman was an inspiration alright???) and might dredge up a memory of a less popular comic series

Five: I can time travel but it is very hard, which is why we are hundreds of years in the future. And why I look like a child.

Kaminari: so are you a kid or not?

Five, serenely: whatever is most convenient for me at any given moment

Mina: hell yeah game the system

they have a brief lesson on astronomy and Luther raises his hand like "ooh! i was isolated on the moon for four years and did SO MUCH research" and then just gets up and starts infodumping like way too much information on the moon

Izuku sitting there like "damn if quirks hadn't popped up we could have achieved so much in terms of space travel. please tell me more giant man who lived in pre-quirk era."

Vanya finds out about the quirkless and is like "oh mood that genuinely sounds like my childhood, being ordinary in a house full of extraordinary people, and then i found out that i did have powers but only much later in life after i had already been emotionally scarred by the experience"

deku: vanya we have so much in common

iida and uraraka: concerned noises

aizawa: hound dog. therapy with hound dog for all of you.

there's probably some conflict with like, the hero commission wanting to get their hands on the time travelers?? but probably especially five and klaus as a) time travel and b) ghosts (the hc def has bodies they would like to stay buried)

five has a pavlovian reaction to anything with 'commission' in the name and hates them on site, probably plays into his age in order to become a ward of UA or something to protect him from the commission a little bit.

(this makes nedzu Five's legal guardian. aizawa has his resignation papers all prepped in a drawer marked 'in case of emergency' but let's be real, if nedzu wants to take over the world aizawa should probably be on the rat-bear's side of things :/)

five: ah, i do recall the inhumane experimentation that we were subjected to

nedzu, who was experimented on: haha same hat! want me to dig up the location of reginald hargreeves's remains so you can spit on them?

klaus: nah no worries we dumped them out in the courtyard unceremoniously like, a while back. how long ago varies for each of us because of time travel!

luther: you said hound dog's office was down the hall and to the right?

on the bright side, Luther probably feels like. way less self conscious about his body, partially bc of his fighting and all that in the 60s but also bc !! now he genuinely doesn't feel like a freak. no one even gives him a second glance. one of the teachers looks like a slab of cement with a face. gang orca looks Like That. there is literally a student with an entire bird head and goth aesthetic. Luther does not stick out at all

allison and shinso bond over having "villainous" voice-based quirks

allison and shinso having worn muzzles at some point in their youth as punishment 🤝

aizawa probably helps train vanya as well with the whole, being able to erase a world ending quirk safely thing he's got going on which makes for a very nice safety net

i don't think vanya would want to be a hero at the end of things though. maybe the assistant teacher in the music class or something?? all vanya wants is to be able to not end the world

i feel like as time goes by, five brings up trying to get home less and less. part of that is because like,,, genuinely what do they have to go back to?? Allison has Claire, but like. I'm 100% sure the first thing she did in the future was try track down Claire's records and found out Claire was like. fine. became an adult, had a family, probably became the ancestor of the first "quirked" kids who officially popped up after light baby. had a good life, died at an old age etc. etc.

they start settling into the bnha world with like, "we can always hop aboard the five express into where the fuck ever" as a plan Z if things go completely pear shaped (again)

i'mma be real, five himself doesn't give a fuck as long as there is a) no apocalypse and b) his family is alive. Like that's it. His bar is so incredibly low and yet his life keeps fucking trying to limbo under it

i just think it would be funny to have like, Five trying to get along with his "peers" and make friends while the siblings do the same but like, in the staff room

also think it would be funny for five to just walk into the staff room and get coffee occasionally.

a teacher: why is a student in here -

Five, sipping coffee: i'm an adult

nedzu like "what kind of guardian would i be if i didn't teach my new son all the tunnels around ua so he can pop out wherever"

five like "hey new dad can i put stashes of supplies all around ua of weapons, money, food, and other assorted things that might be useful if one needed to fight or make a run for it" and nedzu is like "haha just put your list of what supplies you want in your go bags on my desk and i'll critique it later!"

anyway a bnha/tua crossover would be incredibly chaotic but probably very funny

[moonsquaremars]

Astrology Journaling

/themes

· LDS CHURCH · SATURN 9H · HOMOSEXUALITY · LIBRA · SUN 12H · /

So I am currently dating a Pisces sun, Cancer moon. I myself and a cancer sun virgo moon. I noticed when I first got into astrology, I was sitting at a table with my group of friends at the liberal arts college I attended. I started asking people’s birthdays and birthtimes so I could generate their chart online. This was before almost everyone knew their sun, moon, and rising. Circa 2014/2015. I had just started dabbling in astrology. I got hooked into searching the web late at night for what aspects meant what, how my house placements could influence what decisions I might make for say, my career, or life’s bigger questions like what is the meaning of it all. Astrology sort of became like my therapy, a search that acted as a distraction from my existential nihilism and just truly piqued my interest.

:readmore:

But, I was also LDS (mormon) at the time, and rather devout. Interestingly, I would later read that people with Saturn in 9th house like I have, tend to favor more traditional religions, such as Catholicism, Mormonism, and Judaism. When I read this in a book about Saturn, my jaw dropped! My search for existential meaning budded in my senior year of high school. Although I was raised baptist by a *fanatic in word but complete opposite in practice * father (love u dad lol), I became an atheist, or agnostic actually, at age 12. By this time, I had already realized I was gay, and that shattered my Christian faith. My pride and ego did not want to believe in a deity that (from my perception) made gay. I didn’t actively choose it or anything, so why should I be condemned for it? However, the seeds had already been planted in my brain. I remember at age 7 or so, praying to Jesus over and over and over again to save me, and that if I died that night to go to heaven. I was afraid. I was afraid one prayer wasn’t enough. Perhaps this was the start of my obsessive compulsive behaviors to come.

See, even though /I/ said I didn’t believe in God or whatever anymore, that doesn’t mean that he didn’t still exist. I figured he had to, since there’s so many religions in the world, and one of them had to be right. So, I found online that most religions are homophobic, even the Buddhists and Hindus, so I concluded that homosexuality = wrong. Even though I was undoubtedly attracted to men, I figured something must’ve happened to make me this way. After all, I was attracted to women at one point in my life. I recall stumbling upon my grandfather’s playboy magazines when I was 9, and what followed was excuse after the next to wander down into the basement so I could sneak a peek. TW - sex ||| However, around age 11 when I first started masturbating, something switched and I started focusing on men. I would look at pictures of men in speedos online, the whole shebang. Eventually I stopped looking at women all together and to this day I cannot get aroused by a woman. So what happened ? What gives ? There was nothing traumatic that happened to me. My family was dysfunctional, divorced, working class. Love was just as scarce as the money, so it seemed. Shit felt tense, no other way to say it. But I stopped living with my grandmother as much and started living with my mom more once middle school started, so with all the resentment and rage of an angsty gay 18 year old, curious for answers on life’s bigger truths, while also terrified of going to hell, and at the very beginning of building a life for myself. I delved back into spirituality, because I felt that was more important than anything else really. When it comes down to it, once you’re dead, how much does it really matter what you had on earth? This was my thinking at least.

((I have a 12th house sun and so does my father. So this emphasis on spirituality makes sense to me.))

So I search and search and stumble upon the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And I fell in love. It seemed like every answer I had was being answered by something concrete, their ideas about community and taking care of others completely aligned with my own, and let’s face it, the Mormons do a damn good job marketing themselves to others! That’s what missionary work is all about. Utah has a very big communal culture that Kentucky seriously lacks. Here, it’s practically every man for himself. People don’t go out of their way to be nice here. In Utah, they do. They walk the walk and talk the talk. I respected that, and I wanted to be like that.

Since we’re on the topic of the LDS church, I wanna say the church gives me heavy Libra vibes. Salt Lake City is the plastic surgery capital of the country. Mormon temples are just breathtakingly beautiful. They are so obsessed with looking attractive, having white teeth, etc, because it makes missionaries more effective in obtaining converts, and the church teaches that the righteous prosper. So the more you live in according to the word of Jesus Christ, the wealthier and beautifuler and happier you will be. Just seems very libra to me. Lol. I wonder if the church’s natal sun is in libra? Like whatever sign it was when the church was formed in upstate New York.

I started this post thinking I would talk about my relationships , cuz I’ve had a few and dated two Pisces now. Oh well!

[sluttbuttsstuff]

La Squadra Backstory Headcanons Part 1 (GHIACCHIO AND MELONE

Since we’re probably never going to get any straight answers on their backstory, i’m writing my own for them.  Obviously, none of this is canon and guesswork

WARNINGS: none really, aside from dark themes 

GHIACCHIO:  

Came from a very large and very poor family, the youngest of many children.  

As a result, he was the last to get anything-last to get fed, last to get clothed, last to get attention.

He didn’t get the proper care he truly needed, so he had to fight and take what he really needed, or he would have to make do without.

He’s always had awful eyesight, but it wasn’t until stealing a classmate’s glasses that happened to be exactly what Ghiacchio needed, he fought the kid for them and gave him a black eye

“There, now you can’t even use them, they’re better off with me!”

Despite getting into a lot of fights, School was actually something of a sanctuary for Ghiaccio.  

He got the attention he needed, he was able to get free food through the lunch program, and excelled in several sports activities and physical Ed.

During middle school, under encouragement of a favorite teacher of his, he dedicated himself to his studies, and enrolled in as many extra curricular activities as he could stomach.

With his impressive physical fitness, natural intelligence, and a little anger management, his teacher convinced him he could get into a good college with a full scholarship that he wouldn’t otherwise be able to get into

Ghiacchio wasn’t always as loud, angry and violent as he was in La Squadra, but he did have issues with anger management, an inferiority complex, and a self-sabotaging need to always be right.  

But his teacher, now his mentor, never gave up on him.  He took Ghiaccio to therapy, gave him a shoulder to lean on, and served as the support he never got from his parents or siblings.

His family had no interest or desire to get involved with his life, or offer any support or encouragement.

School was tough- it was extremely stressful and he was pushing himself to his limits.  He had very little sleep, had to maintain a 4.0 grade average, but despite it all, Ghiacchio was very happy.

His mentor was like a father figure to him, without him, Ghiacchio wouldn’t have been able to get as far as he did.

And then the worst happened.

His mentor died naturally, of a heart attack, he was an older gentleman with a history of heart disease in his family.

It still broke Ghiaccio.

He skipped school for the first time in years to attend his funeral, and ended up getting in a fight with one of his teachers at school the next day.

Ghiacchio and his teacher argued over the correct pronunciation of a word, but really Ghiacchio was angry at his teachers and school-hell, the WORLD- that no one else had been at his mentor’s funeral.  He felt like no one cared about his mentor, and that included him.  

He broke the teacher’s nose, as well as several other bruises and nearly gave him a concussion.

Obviously, he was expelled from school after that, and sent to a juvenile prison.  He was able to finish high school in juvie, but no university or sports team wanted to sponsor him or offer him a scholarship. 

 It is his greatest regret, not being able to get the scholarship he and his mentor worked so hard for

But at the same time, he doesn’t regret attacking his other teacher and leaving school; he couldn’t stand by and let his mentor’s memory be forgotten, besmirched.

He would be picked up by Passione through the juvie system, he kept getting into petty fights with others and managed to impress some soldatos into offering him initiation.

I like to think that his strict grammar pet peeve stems from his mentor, who taught italian grammar and literature studies, and as a result was especially strict with teaching Ghiacchio proper italian.

The ice theme for his stand?  Yeah, it’s funny because he’s a hot head, but i think it’s his stand, as an extension of his mentor’s teachings trying to literally “Cool” him down.  He has to use a lot of focus to use White Album properly, just like how his studies and athletics would distract him from his own mental health issues.

At least, this is just what I think lol

MELONE:

Hoo-boy, this kiddo has to have had some serious  family issues

His father was the head doctor at the most prestigious fertility clinic in Italy

(He was also secretly into eugenics, and lots of other nasty stuff, but let’s get into that later)

He was so successful, he had even cured his own wife’s infertility

At least, that’s what he had everyone believe

Secretly, Melone’s father had had an extramarital affair with his secretary, who became pregnant and had Melone.

Under extreme threats and blackmail, Melone’s father managed to take Melone away from his biological mother, and convince his wife to raise Melone as her own.

Needless to say, Melone’s father was a very bad, manipulative man

Despite this, his wife had always wanted a child, and actually loved him and cared for him deeply, and Melone became her child as much as his biological mother

Melone’s father was very strict and had high expectations of Melone from a young age.

Melone had private tutors, a personal chef and nutrition plan, and even a physical fitness teacher who would regularly exercise him.

Melone had no other siblings, surprisingly, despite his father’s obsession with eugenics and breeding.  

His father must have been afraid of the possible scandal that would arise from an affair or divorce (italy is still a heavily catholic country after all) and his wife, Melone’s “adoptive” mother was still barren,

Since Melone was an only child, home schooled and surrounded by paid lackeys of his father, he was very lonely.  

His mother was his one and only real friend in his life.  She would sneak him dessert snacks, read him fairytale stories if he got tired of his textbooks, and even played games like jump rope and hide and seek with him.

The entire reason his “Adoptive” mother had married his father in the first place was because it had been her lifelong dream to have children, and she was determined to give Melone all the love his father couldn’t and wouldn’t.

And that was life for a long time- it wasn’t the best childhood but Melone couldn’t really complain.  His father kind of scared him, but at the same time he earned Melone’s respect.  

Melone was interested in Biology, and learning about genetics like his father.

And when the stress of living up to his father, and his own, expectations became too hard, he could always run to his mother.

Then, Melone’s biological mother found him

Melone’s biological mother had never really gotten over losing her only child, and despite the monthly salary and isolated home she had received for her silence, she couldn’t forget about Melone.  

It started innocuously enough, clipping out pictures she saw of him and his father from the clinic’s advertisement brochures, watching him from afar play at the beach with his mother on vacation.  

But it wasn’t enough- she couldn’t just GIVE UP her child.

She started to stalk him, taking photos of him playing in his backyard, going through the garbage to find old school projects and tests in the trash can.  She would try to sneak into the house, bribing guards and getting in fights with the tutors trying to get into Melone’s home.  

Melone didn’t know the whole story between his parents and this “Surrogate” (he had been sworn to secrecy by his mother, knowing it was important to tell adopted children early on or risk causing severe trauma later in life)  but he knew his parents were becoming more and more stressed out.

One day, it came to a head, and Melone’s biological mother successfully was able to meet Melone.  

Melone was a little afraid at first, but his other mommy was so nice to him, and gave him lots of hugs and love like his other mom and played with him at the park.  

They actually had a really fun time together, and it had a lasting impact on Melone for the rest of his life.

But all good things have to end, and for the first time in his young life, Melone was confronted with death.  

Eventually, Melone’s bodyguards (his father had employed some after finding out about Melone's biological mother stalking him) caught up to them, and Melone and his mother tried to escape.  

Melone’s other mother was with the bodyguards,and when Melone saw her, he was unsure of what to do.

He loved both of his mothers, he wanted to stay with both of them, why were they making him choose?

Under His father’s orders The bodyguards, who Melone later found out were associated with passione, shot his biological mother.  Terrified Melone would be shot as well, his adoptive mother dove in front of him to protect him from the bullets.

Both of his mothers were shot, his father had ordered them to kill the bio mother no matter what, even if Melone got shot.  Apparently, MElone’s father would rather risk his son’s life than let his bio mother escape with them and risk the scandal.  Knowing this, his adoptive mother was shot and killed protecting him.  

On that day, Melone lost both of his mothers, the most important people in his life, all because of his father.  

It took a long time for Melone to process what happened-his father didn’t help things either.  He was just as cold and clinical with Melone as ever, and with no one who truly cared about him in his life, Melone withdrew more and more into himself and his studies.

He was civil with his father, and maintained his studies and health, until he officially turned 18.  

After years of planning, he poisoned his father in his sleep and killed him.

The Police were never able to press charges or find any evidence on him, but Passione noticed, and saw potential in him.  

They gave him an ultimatum, pass initiation and join their ranks, or get turned into the police by passione and get his inheritance stolen by the gang.

Without much of a choice, Melone agrees, and finds he actually likes life in la squadra

It goes without saying, his mothers were a huge influence in both his life and his stand.

Both of his mother’s lives were so sad and lonely because they couldn’t have a child.  

He desperately wishes he could have used Baby Face on his mothers, either not realizing or not caring about the implications.

Despite his mother’s best efforts, Melone never really had proper social interaction as a child, and it seriously screwed him over in life, even interacting with la squadra. 

 He’s read up on how to behave in public, social psychology, but it's not the same as learning as a child

It’s easier to learn those things as a child, which is why he makes sure to spend at least a little time with each Baby Face on how to behave and treat others; at least they can succeed where he couldn’t.

It’s also why he can’t control himself around women- he thinks he’s genuinely helping them by giving them children or getting them pregnant.

He’s giving them what his own mothers couldn’t

And you can BET he takes his role as father VERY seriously- you saw how he taught and trained Baby Face in canon.  He’s intense, but he’s also a lot more loving than his own dad was.

I’ll admit, this backstory is a little bit “Soap Opera” but I think it still fits him

[thyandrawrites]

Sorry if this isn't a super interesting question to really delve into but what do you headcanons are Dabi and Tomura's hobbies and interests? Since we have so little (none) information on what they like and what they really would do outside of villainy.

well, according to their profiles... “nothing” asafjias

I remember writing my fic, Butterfly Effect, and struggling to give Dabi something to do outside of his apartment. I ended up making him take a nap, LoL

ok but taking a few artistic liberties, I could come up with some ideas now.

Dabi

- I have the hc that he likes reading. He's very well spoken for a guy who dropped out of school at 13. He knows how to use keigo (the most polite manner of speech in japanese) and he showed off his ability to use yojijukugo, which are kanji compounds that express complex concepts. So I headcanon that he reads a lot. His desk is full of books in that one panel we see him on his pc so I’m taking that as validation. Bnha smash hinted at the fact that he is familiar with ancient japanese poetry, so I like to think he received a traditional education, but poetry is something he actually came to like. (In my fic he and Rei read foreign literature too as a middle finger to Enji’s extremely strict tranditionalist views)

- Sewing. This one is half-serious but have you seen his edgelord coat from the PLF arc? I don’t know if those are supposed to be staples or stitches but either way he’s very hardcore about sticking to his aesthetic. If he didn’t run away from home and became a villain he would’ve totally had a punk phase. Sewing isn’t exactly a hobby, more of a skill, but I like to think that spending as much time as he did surviving on his own, he picked it up to fix his clothes or to extend their life, you know? And somewhere along the line he became good at sewing and now he kinda shows it off. His outfit is the only one out of the League that shows personal touches

- People-watching. This one is just me projecting but. Look, he’s just really good at getting a good first read of people. People-watching isn’t an hobby, per se, but I can imagine him developing the habit as he laid low for all those years. He’d be sitting in a far-off table at a seedy bar and he’d just observe the other patrons, figuring out who’s waiting for a date to cheat on their partner, who’s a salary-man looking for a one-time thrill, and who’s just there to pickpocket drunk people. And then maybe he’d get so good at it he’d start making bets with other patrons. Alternatively, I can just see AU!Touya sitting at a park, listening to music with his headphones as he watches the busy life of his hometown walking around as he just chills.

- Maybe it’s cause of his looks, maybe it’s cause music is a substitute for therapy for a lot of troubled people, but he strikes me as the type to have extensive music knowledge. This fits more for an AU setting Touya since I doubt he cares much for that in canon. but I can see him blasting music in his ears to quieten the thoughts in his head. I can picture him resonating with the lyrics of this or that band, and be picky and taunting towards music he labels trashy or uninspired just as how he’s picky and taunting towards people he labels as lacking “covinction”. He just. Is a perfect fit for a music snob. It’s not surprising that there are so many musician!Touya AUs, really

Shiga

- Okay he’s a lot more challenging so I’m taking the easy way out and mentioning video games first. A pro gamer like him probably has a twitch account and follows all the good gamer youtubers. I can see him cursing out fanlore sites or those websites that collect tier and equipment guides for being incorrect or not up to date because that strikes me as something he’d do. maybe he even mods some.

- Comic books. We know that AFO bought him action figures and books as positive enforcement for Shigi’s murderous behavior, but he wouldn’t have wanted him to get too smart (or god forbid, develop critical thinking), so I think the books shown in his room were actually comics. I wonder what his favourite genre was.

- Strategic tabletop games. He didn’t get to play them often since he was always alone growing up, but the League definitely played monopoly at some point. Risiko was banned when Compress kept replacing the original dices with his own rigged ones, winning one game too many and making Shigaraki pulverize the table and scatter all the pieces everywhere. Legend has it that Dabi caught one under his bare foot once and the ceiling still bears the scorch signs of the fight that ensued

ok I’m gonna stop it there because this is growing less serious by the minute and also because I have no more ideas lol

[flashflashhundredyarddash]

*cracks knuckles* i even opened up my laptop to reply to these lets goooo

below is a list of headcanons for a birdflash baby

- so my placeholder name is mary for her first name to honor dicks parents, though she probably tends to go by either her middle name or a nickname. i’m not super firm on mary yet, so im open to other names lol

- has superspeed. this stressed out dick and wally to no end when she was a child. lots of playdates with don and dawn with barry and iris offering advice

- got dick’s dark hair that she keeps cropped short (because RUNNING) and dark skin and wally’s green eyes and freckles.

- is the oldest of the bat grandchildren by several years so there is video footage of her first christmas where she’s just. SURROUNDED by presents and ALL OF HER AUNTS AND UNCLES gleefully watching her open presents while she has no idea what’s going on.

- decides in her teen years she wants to be a lawyer so majors in something related to criminology before going to law school. she likes to annoy her entire family by arguing about the law with them. very into Semantics so gets along nicely with tim

- is Friends with tim’s kid (who is like 2 years younger than her) and helena wayne (batcat kid who’s like 3 or 4 years younger than her)

- is the oldest of the bat grandchildren but is younger than don and dawn

- because of the super speed, her vigilante persona is more closely associated with the flashes, but her training is still supplemented with bat techniques. she doesn’t become a vigilante until she turns 18, and even then she isn’t as Into It as the rest of her family because she’s seen the Trauma that her parents got as a result, but because she didn’t have a choice with her superspeed she still feels she has to do Something with it.

- has electric wrist?? weapons?? a la black widow. has a fun time shocking criminals.

- has big ass goggles to cover her eyes while in costume and a face mask. future security cameras are no joke

- anyways i also headcanon that lisa snart has a daughter who takes over the captain cold persona but is more of an antihero than a straight up villain. grayson-west baby has a thing for new captain cold that Robin!Helena judges her HARSHLY for.

- loves her dads SO MUCH but also wishes they could go to therapy instead of vigilante-ing all the time. it’s a Thing. she doesn’t want to talk about.

- birdflash + baby either settle in gotham, keystone city, or san francisco i’m not sure yet.

- birdflash baby is very different from both her parents but they get along super well. her temperament is a lot more serious than either of her parents but she inherited the Wittiness so the grayson-west household is FILLED with snark

- by the time she gets around to vigilante-ing, cassandra has taken over as batman so she’s so used to Cassandra as Batman she has a hard time picturing Grandpa Bruce beating up criminals. wally laughs at her when she tells him this.

- constantly argues with Bart over who’s the oldest flash grandchild. birdflash baby insists it’s her because she was born earlier in time, bart insists it’s him because he’s been alive longer. this argument has been going on for over a decade.

@novaviis​ @bakufly​