#•{ something i haven't told you }• (( ask ))
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
just kill me
#this whole article is bad but this was the WORST#not even for the reason you think (819 reasons)#Eliza you've already heard this rant but#if I can be way too sincere and long-winded for a moment#'always if I ask him something he helps'#how many quotes do we have from teammates over the years saying that exact thing#michael latta saying 'it doesn't matter if you're a top pair dman or a 4th line peasant; he'll do anything to help you'#christian djoos saying 'he's always there for you no matter what time or place. if something's up he's always there'#HHA saying recently nicke gave him his number and told him 'if you need anything just call me and I can help you'#carly in that interview when this was announced saying how nicke has been the support for everyone in that locker room from himself and osh#to guys who haven't been there long like strome and even pacioretty#I know holts and batya and andre and rasmus and jojo and tj and tom and karl alzner have all said stuff like this too#and that's just who I can think of off the top of my head#like. that's it. that's nicke.#if you ask him something. he helps.#for such an amazing athlete. for such a crucial part of making hockey A Thing in DC.#what his teammates want to talk about is his kindness#and that speaks so highly of him and is so genuinely admirable to me and worth aspiring to#I don't want to put anyone on a pedestal because we don't know these guys#but like. in terms of impact. nicke really genuinely made me try to be a better more thoughtful more actively outreaching friend#because I saw the way his teammates talked about him and that's how I want to be thought of.#I want people to know I'll be there for them. & not that I haven't been willing to do that but I've been more active about offering it#and part of that genuinely is because of his example#there's a million other things about his kindness I could mention before I even get to his hockey but this has already gone on far too long#so anyway#he is so dear to me#I hope he is happy and healthy#and that he knows how loved he is#nicklas backstrom#hockey
209 notes
·
View notes
Text
StaticEnergy Brothers AU (but it's the MovieVerse)
(I have nothing better to do, English class is boring)
It's a normal day for Lloyd. He's been receiving looks of mockery and fear from the moment he leaves home until he gets to school, Chen and his friends are teasing him as usual, and his ninja friends are fine. Zane with his usual weird and robotic ways, Cole quiet with his headphones blasting music, Kai and Nya acting like the older siblings that he never had.
And just like any other normal day, Garmadon attacks the city just before lunch time.
Lloyd and the others escape from class, put on their gis, grab their mechas, and head into battle. At first, nothing inusual happens. Lloyd orders his team to take on Garmadon's fleet of marines while he goes after Lord Shark himself. He easily finds him walking in his ridiculous shark mecha towards the mayor's building to take control of Ninjago City,they exchange some heated words and Lloyd is one step away from shooting missiles at his father. Is it his impression or his father is acting more annoying than usual?
Suddenly, Lloyd — or rather, the Green Ninja — is grabbed and thrown off his dragon and — holy crap, THERE IS FRICKING A KUSARIGAMA PRESSED TO HIS NECK.
A dark blue-gloved hand gripping the weapon's handle catches Lloyd's attention, only then does he look at his attacker, who is probably one (lucky) of his father's thousand seafood generals—
... Okay, so he's not wearing some ridiculous sea animal costume, he's actually dressed like a ninja. A black gi with varying shades of blue, some silver details and a single orange cloth underneath the outfit. The only sign of skin that Green sees is in the eye space of the mask. A patch of pale skin is decorated with a some visble freckles that are beneath electric blue eyes filled with determination.
Green hears Garmadon let out that annoyingly evil laugh and he sees the Oni approaching, only then does he realize that the guy who caught him off guard must be another one of Garmadon's soldiers, just with a better fashion style.
Garmadon steps down from his mecha and walks over to stand behind the evil ninja, smirking at the scene before him with malice and... Pride? Why isn't he giving that arrogant and mean face he gives to his normal soldiers?
"Very good move, my son."
Lloyd feels his breath catch and he is sure that this only sentence makes all of Ninjago stop moving.
"S-... Son?!" Green repeats, looking from the boy to Garmadon and back again. The Oni just laughs at his reaction.
"Oh yeah, I never brought him to our previous battles, so you guys never had the chance to meet each other." His father approaches the other Ninjac— his supossed brother — and places two hands on his shoulders, the other two behind his back. "Green Ninja, I want you to meet my son, the Lightning Ninja." Garmadon's sharp, toothy smile was fearsome. "Or Sparky for those close to him." He added, dropping his shoulders and patting the Blue one on the head.
For a moment, the three of them just stood there. Green with his throat at the mercy of Blue's curved blade while his father smiled maliciously. It was a tense moment, just like those in movies where the hero faces the villain after he makes his big revelation, and It was that's what it looked like, with Lloyd staring at his father in disbelief and confusion while Garmadon himself began to laugh uncontrollably.
That's when a throat clearing sound caught their attention.
"Dad, with all due respect, I understand that this is a tense moment and all, but did you realize that the rest of the Ninjas are destroying the fleet and that Cyan and Red are coming with everything on this way, right?"
Indeed, Nya and Kai's war screams sound in the distance.
#ninjago#jay ninjago#ninjago lloyd#ninjago kai#ninjago cole#evil jay#StaticEnergy Brothers AU#ninjago movie#the lego ninjago movie#ninjago nya#kai ninjago#ninjago zane#this would be so funny#So Lloyd would go to his uncle and ask him#he's all “there's something I haven't told you” but not even Wu had any idea about it.#and koko might have known about it but never said anything because she thought it was just a stupid joke by Garmadon#and then surprise#he really exists#meanwhile jay is nervous about the other half of the family#everyone is so confused
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Ai, living has no answer."
"When we're in pain, we search for an answer to feel better. A concise, absolute answer. But if you really want an answer… it's that there is no answer. There are no absolute in this world. Even if we think there is, in the end, it'll only make us feel better for a moment.
If there are no absolute, then what's left?
Bonds. Bonds between individuals. Bonds between one another. That's all there is.
That also changes with time. A huge trigger can cause a huge change. Bonds may be severed. But new bonds can also be formed. So living is a series of bonds.
That's what life is.
I have to do that forever?
Yes.
That's a lot of work.
Yeah.
I'd need to be so strong.
That's why people become stronger. That occasionally leads to conflicts. But even if that happens, we have to keep fighting. Keep searching for bonds, even if there's no answer.
You can't rush living."
So I saw on MyFigureCollection that October 13 was maybe possibly Yusaku's birthday, although I couldn't find any reliable source for this. I'd have loved to do something nice and light-hearted for the occasion, but I'm still feeling too strongly about it all. So here you are instead: Happy (maybe) Birthday, Yusaku! Please have some trauma to go with your trauma. Here's to another year of fending off expectations and looking for your own life and its non-answers with eyes wide open and always filled with hope.
#yu gi oh#vrains#vrains spoilers#SPOILERS#how do you tag so it really really doesn't show too obviously because seriously I'd feel horrible for completely spoiling#but I still wanted to share it because I KEEP CRYING#i told my *therapist* about it and we had almost a whole session about bonds and what they mean in terms of support and pressure#I also posted the quote on Facebook last week for my birthday with no explanation and completely out of context#and it was so amazing to have people compliment me on it and ask if they could reuse it#those were the same people who told me that anime would make my brain rot 20 years ago so that's nice turntable and all#i really want to write something heartfelt about it but i'm just rambling and honestly the quote is self-sufficient#i guess i'll just have to find a way to get it tattooed somewhere on my back now because it feels like the only way for me to recover#“I get it now; if you have bonds no one will forget you.” “I won't forget you.”#Vrains quote#VRAINS FEELS#i can't wait for more post-canon in Duel Links#maybe beginning of 2025 if i calculated correctly?#hoping for Akira Zaizen and his Tindangle deck that I'll be happy to destroy with my Revolver deck#and i also have kilowords upon kilowords to write about EVERYTHING but i still need a bit more time#okay that's too many tags i'm done gonna cry a Nile and a half now bye#edit HEY I FIGURED OUT THE “READ MORE” THING I feel less afraid of spoiling now but seriously if you haven't watched Vrains yet stop readin
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#I've read some of you talking about your irls reaching out#Positive and negative thinga#And I'm... In the middle#I haven't hidden my love for 1D since it took over my life 3 years ago#So the people that know me know this about me#Granted they probably know more about Louis but still#One of my closest friends was a bit insensitive at first and I just couldn't reply#She then sort of came through and has been checking in#I don't think she realized how much it mattered to me#Then I told my best friend who's still back home#I also don't think she understood how important they are to me#She hasn't checked in again but she has sooo much shit on her plate that I don't even blame her although it still... A little bit#But I'm also like trying not to think they actually knew how seriously important these bois are to me#Anyway. Another friend... I saw him right after I found so I was still very much in shock and he knows about them and my deep connection#Saw him the next day he hugged me and asked me how I was and this was after the shock wore off and I had cried all night#I almost broke down again... But he hasn't checked in again and I'm a bit sad about it#Someone I met briefly in the summer and got to talking about the bois reached out and asked and I was glad they did#My sister has been checking in which has been very nice#Again... Idk... I don't need them to understand or be all over me asking or anything#It's just... Yeah.#And it just reinforces my gratitude for this space and the friends I've made the past couple of years#I have no idea where I'd be if I didn't have this and you all#But then again... The biggest reason I'm still in this community is the people I've met#So of course I would always have you here#Understanding something that outsiders could never#It's like trying to explain why Louis is so important to me... If you don't feel you won't get it#Rambles ramble#My eyes hurt
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I wanna thank my irl friends who follow me here and also my beloved mutuals as well as followers who still send me kind messages and try to interact with me and my stuff even if I'm bad at doing it myself.
Honestly, things haven't been that great with me lately, so... it means a lot to me. Honestly. <3
#personal#i had to make the tough decision to drop out of school last week#i didn't exactly want it if i'm being completely honest here#but certain stuff was preventing me from getting further so i knew the teachers are gonna ask me to quit over at our teams meeting#i instantly contacted my nurse about my situation. and she got me a doctor's appointment which was yesterday#where i kind of broke down a little. not because she didn't grant me the sick leave i thought i was going to get#after feeling down and sleeping terribly for weeks#but because she actually *got me*. like. she actually listened to me and figured out some stuff and told me that#what i'm going through and what i've been going through for years would make anyone depressed#so i couldn't help but cry a little because yeah. i'm so tired of never being enough no matter how hard i try#because my brain's wired a certain way and it makes me slow and kinda clumsy and inattentive at times#which. you might guess is not ideal at today's work environment. or studying-wise even#so instead of granting me sick leave (she did say we can change that at anytime though) she told me to wait for that phone call#from the unemployment office. which i should be getting tomorrow. or well. later today#and talk to them about this. to see if they can offer some solutions. or if we can figure something out#'cause i'm getting closer to my 40s and not getting anywhere and it's wearing me out and tiring me out#because i clearly can't help myself or change my ways on my own#i managed to get some work last week though. at the local youth house. one shift though but money still#but i haven't been getting those offers a lot during the past few months so it's not enough to support me obviously#so i definitely need something else. and i hope i can get help. that someone could help me#i should finally get tested for adhd next month too. i don't know if i even have it or if it's gonna change anything but#at least i'd know#anyway i needed to get this off my chest. cause i'm kinda crying a little bit even now just thinking about this whole thing#sorry
24 notes
·
View notes
Note
HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY :DD i have an appetite that can only be sated by jacts ^_^
Thank you!! :D <3
Our beloved guitarist is a vandal
#I had to tell you something I haven't already told you#he's got stickers everywhere and he GOES everywhere. he will tag the world <3#jacts#asks#mod 🪱
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
when you're disabled, being financially abused by your parents never ends
#so you're telling me that you got 5k this week from claiming me on your taxes#while hounding me about how i haven't been contributing enough to bills & expenses (i was giving you what you asked for!)#and none of it will go to me because ''i owe it to you for living with you''#despite the fact that 5k nearly covers the mortgage for the entire YEAR#DESPITE THE FACT THAT I COULD PAY OFF MY OWN LANDLORD AND MOVE OUT#btw i literally only let her claim me on her taxes bc she said she'd be giving it to me. and this is the third time she has done this.#promised me it wouldn't happen again. she used me.#she does this thing a lot#where she acts like she's helping people but only does it to hold it over their head#i told her i could have been paying her more for bills but she told me i didn't have to#and now she's complaining that i don't pay enough#i will literally tell her not to help me sometimes#bc she'll do it anyway and then later on you hear ''i did something nice for you so if you don't help me with a favor right now...#...I'll do everything I can to sabotage your life''#so she literally only does it for personal gain#so that she can have an excuse to feel like she's better than all of her kids and that we're just stupid ungrateful assholes#all 3 of her kids could be telling her that her logic is wrong and she won't budge#another thing that happened recently is that she told me i needed to pay her back for a gift she bought me that got stolen#which is also something she does a lot. buys me things without asking and then telling me i have to pay her back for them#i had way more stuff stolen that i had personally bought#i didn't ask for that fucking keyboard sorry. I ALREADY HAD ONE.#and she's been going on about how ''she's the one who's ACTUALLY being affected''#she is FULLY AWARE that the dude she lets over has stolen from us MULTIPLE times#but apparently it's my responsibility to pay her back for something out of my control#STOP BUYING ME SHIT AND TELLING ME I DON'T NEED TO PAY YOU MORE IF YOU'RE JUST GONNA HOLD IT OVER MY HEAD#IF I'M SUCH A BURDEN MAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO LEAVE#.bdo
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
talking to new people again is making me realize that (this is gonna sound dramatic) i haven't lived in five years but what i have done is watch a lot of movies and read a bunch of books and believe it or not that actually makes me an interesting conversationalist in some ways (?)
#and like i say: brf slt#they don't know i'm crazy and as long as you're normal about it having seen a lot of movies just makes you come off as someone who's like#interested in culture i guess. which i am. but it's fun#and the books thing too and also knowing a lot about sociology#i have things to say jokes to make so in two months they haven't even realized i haven't lived a life yet🙏#i didn't even do it on purpose the way it happened is in 2019 i was very depressed suicidal etc then i got better but i was focused on#like...idk. basically getting used to being okay with being alive again? then it was 2020 and we didn't have classes in person full time#until september 2021. that's how it was for university students here. i did hang out with people but no one i LOVED or actually became#close with and it's true that i could have tried harder but i didn't because guys i love being by myself😭😭😭#then three years went by and now we're here. it's fine it's just that i don't have a lot of anecdotes that aren't old because LITERALLY#nothing has happened to me. nothing#that's not true i did talk about something semi-recent to my bff on friday it was about my 'friends' who hated on everyone the same way i#did when i was literally 12 and about how anxiety inducing it was because after a while i was like is this how they talk about me when i'm#not around🤨 i actually talked about that then. january or february 2023#this has been in my drafts for a week and i talked about the post i talk about in that last tag last week when i talked about my mutual who#blocked me that's the post she replied to to give me advice😔#also it's funny i said they don't know i'm crazy and a guy asked me what my favorite tv shows were and i don't know why i actually gave him#my full list like it's funny because like i said they think i like like good movies and good television and interesting books and stuff#and i know the shows i told him made him reassess that (which is fine but it's just funny) and also i told him i'm watching gilmore girls#for the 18th time and he was like you're joking i was like hm...and then he was like no you're being serious because it's way too#precise...and THAT i could have not told him. i was like whyyy did i tell him that...but it's fine#HE HADN'T EVEN HEARD OF SUCCESSION? 34-year-olds...#i mentioned the sopranos a couple weeks ago and my future bff was like what is that and i was like ? then i asked two more people and they#didn't know the show either so i was like i'll ask him (34-year-old) i know he'll know the sopranos and he was like OBVIOUSLY i know#the sopranos it's supposed to be one of the best shows of all time and later i asked if he had seen succession and he'd never even heard of#it? crazy. i mean if it had been anyone else i wouldn't have thought it was crazy but i expected HIM to know succession
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
realizing how much physical affection means to me literally. like i always get that as my #1 love language for every fun test i do but oh my god they're right. i don't get enough physical affection or i don't get people saying they're giving me physical affection when they can't and suddenly i'm staying up that everyone hates me
#logically i understand my best friend loves me but oh my god. we haven't hugged in a week. what if he never cares to see me again#or like . i understand my guy probably likes me but haven't been told i'm getting affection in a while . my affection has been rejected. .#so . ugh. just need a fucking hug dude#i wanna ask my friend for niceys rn but it's 3 am so she's probably asleep and also . :( what if he doesn't like me#(<- guy who's been friends with it for years)#like . i wish i could tell someone like “hey give them reassurance rn” without.... asking for that#like i'd post “need someone to be niceys to me rn” because that's usually the most i can do to communicate that but he rarely is on tumblr#and what? do i send this post to my friend? no wtf#this happens with like. everyone close to me btw. i just care a lot about my best friend#so just. ugh. gonna try and sleep now. i'm getting a hug from him tomorrow#i really hope he plans something with me...i think that's all i need reassurance wise#i don't plan shit with people because what if they don't wanna be around me? but when ppl plan shit with me? YEAH . <3#godddddd#🤞 please invite me to something soon i miss you and i feel like you hate me for no reason but that i'm sad always
12 notes
·
View notes
Note
15 (For the ZOMBIES ask game) :D
YAY ANOTHER QUESTION AH thank you bb <33 ask game here
15. unpopular opinion you have about anything related to zombies?
i'm gonna do a few cause i have a lot of thoughts heheh
firstly, addison isn't as annoying or unlikable as y'all keep saying she is. i get it, she's overly optimistic, very cheerful, and can do annoying things sometimes. news flash, all of these characters have at least one of those traits too (and some have even worse ones)
secondly, the only reason some of you guys refer to zombies as a white savior franchise is because meg is white. i know that sounds redundant but like, i know that at least half of you would stop calling it a white savior franchise if carla or kylee (or any other non-white actress) was cast as addison instead
and lastly, just because a lot of the original trilogy cast won't be in z4 does not necessarily mean that it will be bad, if it is then whatever, but we won't know till it comes out (and i'm saying this as someone whose favorite character is bonzo (along with zeddison but ya know, they're in the movie) so if i can chill, so can you guys)
#like i understand why ppl call it 'white savior' but i've heard it a thousand times I'M TIRED#i also understand that addison and her white hair probably isn't the same level as literal zombie racism#HOWEVER#it was still something that ostracized her and caused her to be judged so she has every right to look for answers#and honestly as someone who has been excluded/felt like they didn't belong i've literally done the same thing#<- i've clung to the ppl who let me hang around/told me that i did belong so maybe i'm just projecting but addie needs to be left alone atp#like i said if z4 is in fact bad and you can tell that it would be better if other cast members were in it#then we'll cross that road when we get to it#but right now??? when we haven't even seen a trailer??? or a like a promo clip or something???#leave the new cast alone for literally just auditioning for and accepting a role#like saying that the movie shouldn't even be made bc some of the cast isn't in it is insane#especially when WE HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANYTHING OF Z4#disney zombies#zombies 2#zombies 3#zombies 4#zombies 4: dawn of the vampires#addison wells#kylee russell#carla jeffrey#meg donnelly#zed necrodopolis#bonzo zambi#venux answers asks
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me whenever my classmates interact with me and I'm reminded that I do in fact exist in and have an impact on other people's lives.
#I slept in so I missed 1st and 2nd period#and one of my classmates asked me where I was and then started filling me in on something funny that happened#one of my teachers anyways calls me another student's name#and apparently today she was calling that student Max#and we haven't ever met#so his/my classmates told him about me??#according to my classmate she described me as 'he's white and always wearing headphones'#(there's not a lot of white people at my school so just by describing me as white she narrowed it down a lot)#and like. you notice me? I exist in your life??#or like. whenever my classmates don't understand something they almost always go to me#A HEEM HEEM WHIMPER
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
omg I haven't noticed it before but in manga Zack uses "Ray" waaay before "what was your name again" interaction at the end of B4
as translators for some reason like to use names/nicknames when there's none in the original I went to double check
and would you look at that, it's still "Ray!" in jp ver
Kudan-sensei????? why would you so casually throw her nickname in there like it's nothing??? do you imply Zack's been calling her "Ray" in his head all this time?? then why does he need a confirmation of her name like 50 pages later????
#Zack in his head: Ray // Zack outloud: hey brat#didn't he also refuse to eat spicy pizza in manga or am i tripping#maybe Kudan-sensei just tends to make Zack better than he is. he's smarter. kinder. or something#ALSO in game when Zack asks for her name again she just goes ''...'' and then says it#while in manga she literally says ''haven't I told you that already'' and Zack HAS to justify his question#angels of death#satsuriku no tenshi
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Did I ever talk about the roleswap AU idea I had where Bill and Mina were in place of Dipper and Mabel, and Ford was in place of Stan? I don't have a LOT of ideas for it but I was thinking about it last night at work.
#Hayley Speaks#It basically starts out similar to the original show; kids get sent up to Gravity Falls for the summer to stay with Ford#And eventually start uncovering some secrets regarding a journal with a weird Pac-Man like symbol on the front#That's as far as I got though#I think Bill would be skeptical of Ford at first but overall pleased that he gets a summer away from home-#-and his nagging therapist and doctors#(I haven't decided what his mutation translates out into an AU where he's human but I assume some kind of mental illness-#-that involves hallucinations and the like)#(Or maybe that's what his parents ASSUME and have tried to get him unsuccessful help based on that thought process)#Anyway Mina's a bit more nervous because she's probably started realizing she's a girl and realizes she can actually BE a girl-#-for the summer if she wants to. But it's scary :( What if Ford told their parents and that freedom was taken away :(#Anyway both clearly have a little something different about them and Ford picks up on this IMMEDIATELY#And goes 'Well I'm the six-fingered freak of the family so I'm going to do EVERYTHING I can to make these kids feel welcome-'#All while trying to work on his plan in secret to get Stan back#But where are Dipper and Mabel you ask?#Mabel is probably in Bill's place and Dipper is not in the AU due to Mina not making her appearance known until AFTER canon#Sorry Dip
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
how in the WORLD did you get your blog to post once every ten minutes that's incredible
:0 the petrichorvoices aka radiomogai in the flesh!? sending an ask on my hoarding blog!? /pos
anyways, it's because of the queue 2.0 which you can enable in tumblr labs. then you can control the queue a bit more. this is what mine looks like! :D
you can't do it on the app though, so you'd have to do this on desktop, or in the browser of your phone.
also, happy new years, Radio! :3
#suppose i should make an ask tag#( ᶻz ) asks .#( ᶻz ) asker ; petrichorvoices .#goodness i hope i'm doing this ask thing right#before robin left front he said something like that the tags are the place where people usually ramble and such so i guess ill do that#i'm actually not the one who did the queue settings. robin did that before she left#and now i just gotta remember what she told me#it's just me and ghost now. two gay bitches who got a speedrun going over tumblr and its functions and were just left on our own :'P#honestly kind of nervous to post this and i don't know why but i'm just going to do it to get it over with#anyways it's nice to meet you radioヾ(^∇^)#should i call y'all radio? or the petrichor voices? i haven't been in existence that long this is all so confusing /lh#i think i'll just call you guys radio but tell me if you'd rather have me call y'all something else! /gen
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me poking my manager with a stick: Sir do you have Tumblr?
#i speak#missy's occupation#this is not assistant manager who DEFINITELY has a tumblr#this is MANAGER#dad vibes manager#i haven't asked him yet#but he's definitely quoted a couple of tumblr posts to me#but like. ones that have solidly escaped containment so he could have seen them on fb or something#but then today i told him i fought something (work-related) and he asked me if i won#then laughed to himself#and quoted the 'are you winning son?' meme#and idk where else that is?#maybe reddit#but he really doesn't seem the redditor type#he actually r e a l l y seems like the fandom type#in ways#especially about lotr#it's just a question of if he knows all this exists
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm so angry and heartbroken and i think this is all i will ever be
#no it's not pms :( Jeremy is still missing and i haven't slept well waiting for him#it's getting so cold too#all my ''''progress'''' this year means nothing to me#also my sister is here because she didn't have to work yesterday and today and my brother video called her not knowing she was here#and when she picked up he was all cheerful and happy and it sounded like they video call often#(he texted me only a few times when he moved to the north and not a single time since he moved to Argentina)#and when he realized she was here he sort of got quiet and asked if i was around and she pointed the camera at me which always makes me sic#so i didn't look or wave and i didn't say anything and he said “she's got he headphones on” and my sister said no lol and it was awkward#then she told him we are all sad about Jeremy and said me in particular#i've been so sad and moody and angry#i can't do anything because of this anguish i feel#can't read or watch movies because i can't concentrate#i watched the emperor's new groove the other day to cheer up a little but it made sad#nostalgia doesn't work for me when i'm down like this because i see through it lol and i remember i spent my whole childhood scared#i remember i was certain something bad would happen to me (and it did but not as tragic as what i was scared of)#i'm rambling. i should be journaling instead#...#Keanu is with me now and i can't even look at him without tearing up because i start thinking about Jeremy#it's so cold and he's probably hungry. if he's even alive#the cats are all i have. i spend more time with them than with the only 2 humans i can interact with without throwing up (mom and sister)#you know how they say cats mirror twhe personality of their humans :( Jeremy is exactly like me. my mom and siblings used to joke about it#he hides when people come over to the house:( he pees himself when strangers touch him :(#we have the vet come over so we don't have to take him out of the house#and the vet is the only person he's forced to see. he pees himself when she touches him too#i can't stop thinking about how he's doing if he's still alive because he gets scared so easily and he's so anxious#i'm so angry because i should go outside and look for him but i can't even picture myself out of this house#i feel so betrayed too. because one thing is my stupid sick head thinking there's no amount of therapy or meds that could work for me#but why is my family listening to me when i say these things. why don't they get me lobotomized or something#maybe it is a bit of pms#📓
4 notes
·
View notes