#and part of that genuinely is because of his example

[edenfenixblogs]

This is truly art because it elicits an emotional reaction. It’s a good example of art, because the emotion it elicits from me is extremely complex.

It reminds me of people with whom I’ve drifted apart for a variety of reasons in recent and more distant seasons of my life. I feel sorrow and nostalgia but also hope and love. And in some cases, disgust, which is reflected well in somewhat rotted appearance of the center.

It reminds me of the fragility of human connection in its thin, papery dried petals.

It makes me laugh in its simplicity and meme-like format. The modernity of the presentation with the timelessness of flowers with the inescapable past-tense of the dried and dead aspect is genuinely a little heartbreaking and very thought provoking. It reminds me that the things I’m feeling when I look at this are as ancient as they are present.

I feel guilt about how it makes me miss some people I wish I’d kept in touch with more. I feel shame and rage at how it makes me think of people I miss, because my memory recalls how it felt when things were good with them, despite knowing how toxic things had become by the end. I’m envious of that bit of memory that gets to remain Peter Pan in Never Neverland—never having to confront its future which is now my past. That part gets to be oblivious of the things that eroded trust and love enough to make that person a stranger.

It reminds me of non-human creatures I miss and yearn for—childhood pets, a beautiful hummingbird that used to linger outside my window, the wild creatures I saw on my drive through the country in fourth grade but that aren’t native to my area or anywhere I have lived, the fly to whom my preschool classmate gave a name and insisted was now a part of our friend group because she loved every living thing… The fly is long gone. But our friendship remains between that classmate and I. She is now my oldest friend, and her children are the age we were when we met.

It reminds me of lifeless objects and ideas filled with nostalgia—the orange VHS tapes of 1990s Nickelodeon movies, the smell of the fake raspberries in a spoon I used to feed my baby doll, the intoxicating scent of sunscreen and wet chlorine on my skin during summer days at the community pool, and the golden gold ball bookmark I would purposefully steal from my great grandfather’s books, making him lose his place. He always made a great show of being annoyed, because he really did lose his place. But he couldn’t stop smiling because I was a mastermind and my giggles infected him. I’ve lost him long ago. Sometimes my bookmarks fall out of my books at the most inconvenient times, and in my soul I know he is behind it and cackling from heaven. I listen mostly to audiobooks now and sometimes I feel myself drifting off to sleep when I listen to them in bed. But I always catch myself and turn the audio off and switch to podcasts. And I send a small silent prayer upwards to him “Not today, Grandpa. But I love you, too.”

I’m a writer. I’m good with words. I think words can be art. But I love visual art. I love that I can look at this image and see all of that. And that someone else can see an entirely different essay of inner monologue when they look at it.

There is a lie that struggle makes good art. But that’s not true. People with something to say make good art. These next few years will be hard. And your priority must be to take care of yourself and survive. But if you have things to say, whether through words or other art, please know that taking the time to say them is important. It’s important you release those thoughts and ideas, even if you don’t know how to articulate them in words. And it’s important you know that people like me are listening.

I love you. Thanks for the art.

[thescreaminghat]

just thinking about tf armada optimus after unicron is defeated (spoilers), when he's been battered by fighting and is now drifting aimlessly amidst the debris in space and comes across the matrix of leadership, the very symbol of authority and hope for the autobots---the symbol that he chose to discard before accepting a final fight with megatron---and how he resignedly says, "i dont deserve it".

like ig there's the interpretation that he somehow "stooped down" to megatron's level by engaging in the 1v1, but i dont really get that vibe, and it feels a little too simple, even for the often questionable dialogue choices for the eng dub. i dont get the impression that somehow optimus is now "bad" because he accepted megatron's challenge, because he's been fighting megatron for fucking 10 million years, and it's presented as a "necessary evil" even though the whole point with the minicons is that conflict and war and fighting is, probably, more of a harmful thing than a good one, because megatron's purpose is to control and exploit the minicons for his own ends (i.e. the series series is still a kids' show, meaning certain tropes, like "the good guys ultimately need to come out on top", are still going to be used even if moral complexities are explored).

rather, i get the sense that optimus's somewhat mournful/regretful rejection of the matrix comes from the fact that he didn't fully acknowledge all sides of him and never got the change to. despite the fact that his obsession with op clouds his judgment like 99% of the time, megs knows himself way too well---there was no way on god's green earth that he and op were going to hold hands and kumbaya and that's what he lived by his entire life. bro held onto an infatuation of the millennia but also held a level of animosity and craving that likely rivalled the level of forgiveness and generosity of primus himself. and megatron accepted this, accepted that he wanted to battle and feel in control and in the end, when the only thing he had left to prove was to his forever rival, that was all he wanted: one good fight and he would be at peace with the outcome of the entire universe (im counting what happens in tf energon as its own thing at this point, it's way too messy of a direct continuation of armada). imo megatron stayed true to his own feelings without the necessity of hamfisting a redemption arc, he went through notable growth (biggest example being his shift after starscream's death) but in the end, there were parts of him that were never going to change, so in a way, he saw his journey through to the end and made the choice to sacrifice himself for optimus because of that acceptance

in contrast, i get the sense that because optimus must constantly act as a figurehead to the autobots, he's not truly able to be 100% honest with what he wants, and who he is. not that there's any doubt that he truly believes in his mission, and that he hasn't been deceitful or dishonest, but i got the sense throughout the series that optimus keeps a lot to himself because he can't be anything less than the protector of the matrix (e.g. when starscream leaves the autobots, hotshot, furious and hurt at the betrayal, starts yelling at optimus and doubting why he made the choices that he did, op doesn't say anything. instead he just walks away, with this pained silence following him out the door, leaving scavenger to chew out hotshot for "disobeying orders"---which seemed kind of, idk, a weirdly ironfisted way (at least from the autobot side) to shut down some genuinely good and earnest questions. and that specific moment of tension never really gets resolved, because optimus sacrifices himself to, in a way, "make up" for his and starscream's mistake). why doesn't he defend himself? if he truly believed in starscream and the inherent goodness of all cybertronians then why not express that directly to hotshot with passion, with conviction, with acceptance of all aspects of his own beliefs?

ig what im trying to say is, being the bearer of the matrix seems to instil (at least to me) this sense of "purity" or "virtuous aloofness" in optimus, whether out of duty or a genuine belief in those qualities as being the ideal. so when optimus discards the matrix specifically to fight megatron, and subsequently tells himself that he "doesn't deserve" that symbol of leadership, i think what he is berating himself for is having enjoyed a fight just a little too much or at the wrong time, having chosen to do something that wouldn't have fit the mould he had held himself to. his first response to megatron's reminiscing about how their fight reminded him of the "good old days" is denial ("i can't say that i enjoyed it").

tldr my interpretation (definitely wrong) is that op has a lot of responsibility and it seems to create a kind but also distant version of him in armada; it feels like op is repressing a lot of who he is and the rejection of the matrix brings him into the daunting realization that yeah, maybe that was for the better. maybe it's ok to not deserve that honour. he'll have to accept that and live with it, but it's ok.

[widebrimmedhatsblog]

ONYX STORM ⚡️⚡️⚡️

My thoughts below the cut! Spoilers galore. This is all from my first read through, so we’ll see what changes by the time I finish my second read. I’m still pretty jumbled up about the book (I am physically incapable of opening up goodreads and giving it a rating) and, frankly, I think my notes are going to reflect this! Also, this is thoughts for the WHOLE BOOK, so please don’t open the full post if you’re not done with the WHOLE BOOK.

I’m pasting my notes directly from the doc I took them on while reading , and adding extra post-read commentary when I feel the urge! Also this is your warning that I swear quite a bit in these! For they are candid.

ch1-10:

- i will say i thought the ch 2 epigraph was an inntinnsic clue but now im not so sure bc it’s not that rare it’s just that they kill everyone who has it ??? (commentary from future helena: this is about lilith…right?)

- tell me something, violence. why is it always you? 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

- what IS a soul. how can you take a soul apart piecemeal. why do you think he gave up part of his soul. who told you that. (CFFH: i stand by this. none of this makes any sense to me.)

- hmmmm no red post fingering! curious…very curious (CFFH: i still don’t know about this one dawg)

- the kiss beneath her ear after he helps her get dressed somebody sedate me

- god DOES garrick like imogen because mans does NOT act like it poor im (CFFH: I seriously cannot stop wondering when the hell Rebecca decided to make immrick canon because i LIKE the ship, but on my fw and if re reads it does not read like Garrick likes her, and I would say that holds true till the very end of the damn book)

- VIOLETTTTTTTT I LOVE HER she’s so fucking back (CFFH: violets characterization was my favorite thing about this book. i was really scared about xaden leaving because frankly rebecca writes violet best with him, but she held her own so much better than she has in the other two books. i always love her, but she was incredible here.)

- the bits about vi being a good duchess i Knew that was him saying he wanted to marry her (CFFH: this is an example of what i like to call RY’s “gotcha ass foreshadowing”)

- also i have always characterized fen in my head as loving the movement more than xaden i know what’s up

- i’m soooo excited about him being the duke this is so embarassing im pumping my fists

- did NOT see the samara field trip coming what the fuck

- EVEN HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY HES STILL TSKING CARE OF EMD EKDNRNRNRN (CFFH: yeah.)

- hey guys what the fuck was that dream? did RY see the cat/violet shippers and get ideas

- WHAT THE FUCK. i saw NONE of this coming

- GARRICKS A WIND WIELDER ???? (CFFH: obviously did not age super well…however garrick was acting so sus here and his dialogue felt so off that i genuinely thought he was the traitor for a fat minute)

11-20

- WHETS RNRJRNRNRNRNRNRJEKEKKRRN

- IS THIS THE MARKED ONES SECOND SIGNET TNEORY (CFFH: can you tell i was a big fan of the marked ones second signet theory. also what’s xadens third signet then? also i feel like if EVERYONE has 2 vi will have 3! i have a theory explaining it below somewhere)

- WLSO DID XADEN FHCKINF KNOW (CFFH: they actually handled this really well i was so nervous they’d have the fight again)

- dude im like short circuiting sick to my stomach HES SOOOOOOO BOYFRIEND ? (CFFH: what on EARTH was this about?)

- well the fuck aware!!!!!!!!!

- i can’t breathe

- i need my inhaler

- LIAM WIELDINF ICE (CFFH: again, can you tell i was a big fan of the marked ones second signet theory? fun fact, i actually wanted to write it into ITHOIA but then i realized a. how much work it would be to concoct that many signets and b. i’d have to give xaden THREE, and decided to pick my battles. however i did brainstorm what signets had xaden energy for giving him a third one and immmmmm immmm having ideasssssss)

- YOURS X

- why do i agree with JFBs venin logic man

- god halden is her traumatic ex relationship goddddd (CFFH: i edited out most of my complaining, but i was super against the halden idea (per my predictions). this might get me cancelled, but it did feel fan service-y? to me? which is fine! fans deserve to be serviced! there are moments of this book in which i am the fan being serviced! but when it become clear RY was going in the halden direction, i was super stressed about how she’d handle it, and im thrilled she made him toxic. THRILLED.)

- SECOND KROVLAN UPRISING

- knowing miss yarros and her gotcha ass foreshadowing ridoc is going on that quest lmdao

- PRFOEOEKEENDJEJEN PROFESSOR RIORSON PROFESSOR RIOROSN (CFFH: not only do i stand by this, but i actually wanted to write teacher roleplay for kinktober and i didn’t bc i didn’t think the fandom would take a liking to it, but CLEARLY rebecca didn’t have those concerns)

- i am going to commit crimes against humanity your relationship did not just END SJEJEJEJENR R (CFFH: i’ve noticed miss yarros has begun to really lean on chapter cliffhangers, and frankly, it pisses me off. i understand she needs to get her bag with kindle unlimited and all, but it makes for a stressful reading experience imo. however, this one got me. this one got me SO bad i had to take a walk to calm down. i have been looking forward to professor riorson for MONTHS and i was convinced it was crashing and burning before my eyes. maybe this is why i shouldn’t read past 1 am. i know rebecca has given interviews and has said she needs there to be constant tension in their relationship or else there’s no story, and while i know what she means, THIS tension felt so manufactured to me. i also think she could pull off a war story with them just like …together. i believe in her. the story needs tension, but it doesn’t need to be between them like this, imho.)

- we live by the codex/i live by you 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫I AM YOURS AND YOU ARE MINE AND THERE’S NO LAW OR RULE IN THIS WORLD OR THE NEXT THAT CAN CHANGE THAT

- you know what we might get shadow sex in this book. we might. (CFFH: we do! and i think we can get more with asim!xaden)

- fun fact about me it took till my THIRD RE READ to see that xaden controls the shadows with his hands.

- there’s been like 3 indirect marriage references if my fucking empire of storms prediction was correct im going to scream (CFFH: so i actually didn’t get to scream because i was too busy MOURNING the lack of a RIORGAIL WEDDING.)

- PAPA SORRENGAIL HAS NAME AND ITS ASHER ?????

- ridocs blow job joke was funny i cackled

- papa sorrengail (im going to deadname him) i do love you man

- SHADOW HANDCUFFS OH MY GOS i had a seizure in my reading hammock

- he is my choice. that got me. that felt good.

- DRAAAAAAAAKE (CFFH: i may say this later, but alli (no tag bc she’s not done reading yet) made drake so sexy to me (and amy! also no tag) and i was kind of disappointed lmfao)

- vi rlly out here playing cousins or dating

21-30

- i loooooove him calling her love all the time

- it’s so crazy to me that he’s relaxed without magic but im glad! since i do think this is his ending over all

- helena bets time: the deal the krovlan rebels didn’t uphold was smth to do with the irids or the feather tails

- “xaden riorson is a lot of things, but happy usually isn’t one of them” hey man what the fuck

- this feels like a fever dream this is the dragon show christmas episode that isn’t relevant to the plot what do you mean they’re bonding over horses

- hey guys is this…capitalism?

- i can’t get over the isle kingdoms being kerch (CFFH: if you haven’t read six of crows this won’t make any sense, but if you have….)

- ARETIA IS THE SECOND MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I MVE EVER SEEN AND MY HOME IS THE FIRST (CFFH: he was ON ONE in this)

- maybe im toxic but he’s being so nice im so anxious about something going wrong 💀 like he stays in the isles or something jesus

- “even if we did, we can’t be in two places at once” + xaden acting weird ….. (CFFH: i want to say third signet but i don’t know)

- what the FUCK is going on with him like it’s really hot but it’s freaking me out

- IM GIVING DIPLOMACY A TRY NOT SURE ITS FOR ME THOUGH (CFFH: dare i say lilith parallel)

- HE WOULD HAVE IF HE’D MET HIM. knocked me on my ass.

- i have an idea i just dont like being wrong baby violet i need to give you a forehead kiss

- why is violets dad the grandpa from the inheritance games

- im going to bed fr fr now but my last minute prediction is that he marries vi to make her an aristocrat (this is wishful thinking) (also we don’t HAVE to rescue halden) (like it’s fine if we don’t)

- MY CONSORTTTTTTTT

- WHEN WOULD BE. can he propose for real. please. (CFFH: this is hurting my feelings)

- bro his LINES IN THIS ???? who do you swear fealty to/VIOLET

- he’s acting less sus…i did NOT like that epigraph abt “returning to his true nature” (CFFH: maybe im on something but idk if this was meant to reflecrt him draining the alloy or whatever it was orrrr if it was abt vi channeling somehow!)

- im almost worried he’s trying to marry her before he kills himself or something but he keeps telling her how selfish he is so maybe not (CFFH: close!)

- her EDS is also a lot better done this time around (CFFH: from a layman’s point of view, obviously, but her injuries were much more graphic, and her other symptoms were actually on page. i really appreciated this)

- oh my godddd sloane and dain.

- i feel like the bond fuckery is vi’s second signet ???? i ALSO feel like it’s sexy

- DAXTON

- PAPA SORRENGAIL HAS A MAIDEN NAME

- also bodhi TOTALLY has a second signet that little LIAR i wonder if he’s an inntinnsic too or smth.

- god imagine bodhi has resurrection

- im trying to be normal but i feel like its insane we’re just now learning where violets family is from idk!!!

- why is dain sweet in this idk also this happened earlier but vi’s dad teaching him languages FOR violet makes me want to cry

- im so fucking proud of violet holy crap

- is violet ??? unnbrian????

31-40

- FOREHEAD TAT LIKE THEOPHANIE!!!!

- violet absolutely can wield there im calling it rn shawty is MAGICAL (CFFH: i guess maybe it’s her touched by dunne ??? thing ??? and she’s somehow ??? half god ????)

- god xaden and dain love her so much

- why does rebecca never let me see xaden do her wraps for her i want to seeeeee

- they’re all in couple pairs so obviously dain and garrick are fucking next (CFFH: this was a joke but tbh…i could be convinced idk)

- god so timing wise DID papa sorrengail meet xaden’s mom !/!:!3&3’ejd (CFFH: i don’t think so ??? but maybe ???)

- not sure my thoughts on the name talia (CFFH: this is bc i picture my bestie Thalia Grace)

- the mommy issues are churning my stomach

- i loooooove aaric holy

- dude i totally thought ridoc was dead

- babe! this isn’t you!

- oh my god ?????? i was NOT expecting violet to give them the old kazzledazzle (CFFH: this is another six of crows reference in which Kaz uses someone’s child as leverage by implying that he’ll kill them, basically, except Kaz is on page morally gray. in THIS book violet is, but i don’t think she had been before now)

- this is genuinely honest to god NOT how i thought their relationship would go and it’s freaking me out

41-50

- you’re my soul JESUS what is he ON

- god poor andarna

- I KNEW HE WAS AN ARIES AND NOT A PICSES I KNEWWWW ITTTT

- she wrote him a letter 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

- i will say i’ve been wondering if the venin effects xaden experiences are more of a ptsd metaphor than anything

- is cuir trans bc i totes thought she was a woman

- ….it would be a shame to kill my last living relative….

- god the adaptations to the running landing mean so much to me im so proud of her

- violet baby i love you to pieces

- you do some of your best work on that throne 😭😭😭😭 (CFFH: the amount of callbacks in this book was very intriguing to me)

- WERE HOME VI ACT LIKE IT

- i was actually rlly against xaden telling anyone he was venin but it’s all gone surprisingly well

- if lindell and lewellen are xaden and liam’s gay foster dads….dont call don’t text

- shadow handcuffs………………..

- im a fan!

- god i did NOT expect that to be the route they took? with the sex ? (CFFH: i thought they were gonna handcuff XADEN. )

- she is absolutely having xaddys dreams but idk what the FUCK the cat one was

- IS XADENS THIRD SIGNET PROPHETIC DREAMS. (CFFH: im leaning towards venin mindfuckery but who knows)

51-end

- i am actually really enjoying tairn and adarna this read although id like a dragon punnet square

- violet is so venin. xaden IS power she says while she says SHE IS power mmmmm rebecca i know your secrets (CFFH: see yall after book 4 idk)

- hi who the fuck was the high priestess and why does it matter im so confused i can see the puzzle pieces and i am flipping the table

- also crack pot theory entered my head. if xaddy gets 3 signets then vi has to get 3 signets. tairn never says naolin he always says “the one who came before” what if…hear me out…somehow it was papa sorrengail???? and not naolin ??? at least not naolin the whole time so then she’s getting a third signet from tairn

- why the fuck did vi not listen to aaric in the first place mans clearly knows what he’s talking about (CFFH: #drama)

- okay is violet a demigod. is that what’s going on

- IS HER HAIR NOT ACTUALLY SILVER (CFFH: i feel like it has to be ????)

- okay wait im thinking about the dedication thing they said earlier -> lilith is sick -> they think fetus vi is going to die -> they ??? dedicate ??? her ??? to dunne ??? (CFFH: i still don’t know actually except she’s two and not a fetus? and it was just papa sorrengail. also i think they rode tairn there LMAO but maybe im insane)

- i cant get over garrick being a distance wielder i need to check on the immrick girlies (CFFH: immrick girlies i hope you’re well!!)

- god how are the irids involved in rsc ???

- i exist for tairn, but i live for xaden okay girl okayyyy

- god does she get to keep being an inntinnsic now ?????

- THRILLED about her sleeping in xadens clothes

- were past the break up stage he’s sooooo real i love him

- core. memory. (CFFH: this is the biggest sin rebecca’s committed anachronism wise my god)

- god DID they get secret married ????

- god when they said bring your brother and i thought she meant liam was being resurrected i actually started to enter cardiac arrest (CFFH: am i the only one 😔)

- is bodhi actually his secret brother and garrick knows and we don’t because what the fuck (CFFH: i guess it could just be vibes?)

- my heart is not in my chest cavity after the liam business

- COLONEL DAXTONS GUIDE TO EXCELLING IN THE SCRIBE QUADRANT!!!!!

- i knew that was how it was going to go purely from alli’s take the second they said they had mira i was like reciting the sitq ending (CFFH: obviously i was slightly wrong but still! this is controversial but the fact that she let everyone were close to (mira/ridoc) live and only killed off tertiary characters kind of undercut the experience for me idk!)

- oh my god dain and sloane 🥹

- come back to me/only ever you

- DUKE OF ANGST

- is garrick’s distance wielding how they dealt with the fuck ass trips to aretia that didn’t work with the timeline bc that’s brilliant actually god damnit

- the bullshit about being everywhere at once means something i can feel it

- RHIANNON?????

- cannot believe that line is feirge

- hi so fun fact i don’t think jm meant to read for this many hours straight i feel like im locked in a trance

- THE ONLY PERSON I TRULY LOVE ???? ABOUT QUINN??? IMOGEN ???

- what on earth is imogen’s second signet bc i don’t think that’s how fire wielding works ????

- i cannot believe the marked ones all have second signets what the ever loving fuck

- i feel like quinn’s death was just not that impactful however imogen saying her mom and sister will know who she is made me tear up jesus

This is where I stopped taking notes!! I’m SO confused about the ending. To be quite honest, I think I’ll reblog this with my thoughts on the ending after I’ve re read it, because I’m LOST. What did Xaden show Sgaeyl ???? Who turned venin with him, because I thought Bodhi but maybe Garrick but maybe both??? how DARE rebecca now show me the riorgail wedding ?/??2?3?3$33&:! WHO does he have a DEAL with???

misc thought that didn’t make it up there:

- i LOVE how she handled Sawyer’s amputation and rehab.

[utilitycaster]

I was reading your posts about interesting moments in CR3 and different possibilities that could’ve added positively to the campaign and the party split was an interesting point. Honestly I can’t help but wonder that if we had one party who

1- met guests who had a positive relationship with different gods (there are 12 Primes right? Why did both parties end up interacting with Pelor) to broaden the knowledge through player-player interactions

2- were sent to a place with a mix of religion and culture and explore a region with NPCs offering a different viewpoint

Because honestly as much as I enjoyed the split, I felt kinda bummed out that both parties experienced even more negative feedback re: the gods: Deanna forced to come back by a god or the village being taken over and forced by a religious group. Even more so when it was Pelor in focus both times and he is one of the harshest ones.

If one party had a different experience, because none of them had any personal experience and were mostly working off their own hurts when asked ‘should the gods be killed’, then maybe the debate when they reunited could’ve been different. Instead of Orym being the only one to say ‘Ludinus is bad guys.’

It felt like having someone be horrified at their gods being killed would be a good shock to the ‘meh’ reaction the party was constantly having. Or the guests being meh about it too (or it just being a weird comedy improv moment).

I wasn’t on tumblr, but were people wondering why both instances were negative religiously? Do you think it could’ve impacted the group positively if Matt had made the encounters different?

Hi anon, I mean this as kindly as possible but I have repeatedly been saying for literally over a year at this point that the issue is not that Bells Hells lacks a pro-god member. I feel like I get questions like this every few months and I say something like this every few months and I know it's a fandom and I don't expect everyone to read every post on my blog but like, I do have to read every post on my blog and it's getting tiresome.

Bells Hells had a pro-god member in FCG and were frequently pretty belittling and unkind to them about that, frankly, until the moment of their death. I also think (and iirc Aabria has clarified out of game) that Deanna is not in fact mad at Pelor. She has a lot of issues with the actions of other worshipers, and she has complicated feelings, but I would not under any circumstances say her perception of the Dawnfather was negative. I also think she is something of a Keyleth case, of "if I do not let out this anger towards a deity, it will be directed towards the person I'm actually mad at, whom I love, and that's much harder to face and process, so I will be shaking my fist at the sky instead." I also think that the character of Bor'Dor is a great example of the awful manipulation that the Ruby Vanguard took part in and how like most cults they destroy the lives of their followers, rendering them unable to see outsiders as anything but the enemy, and that most people don't escape.

If you are dealing with people whose genuine reason for enabling what amounts to either genocide or extinction of a species, depending on your perspective, is "I asked for help from them [in a vague and indirect sense] and never received it", having someone else say "well I had help and it was great" is not going to change their minds. The thing that would have fixed Bells Hells is, as someone else said, having significant ties to the world outside of each other, who they've at most known for 2 years and change. As is they have little investment or care for any of the other people of Exandria while claiming to be their voice. You do not need a love of the gods to make, as Caduceus said, the kind choice. You do need a love, or at least an effort made in the direction of love, for the mortals of Exandria and Ruidus, and they do not have that. And from an outside perspective again we can discuss that this is largely a failure on the DM-ing side but within the context of the story that is the problem, that this is the behavior of people who spend more time arguing in favor of people who are long dead (after uh. trying their own genocide) than in the presence of the many common people on Exandria and Ruidus who are alive.

[jpeg-indulgence]

THANK YOU FOR THIS I LOVE IT SM I WILL BE VERY NORMAL

she proceeded to not be normal

1. Sort of stiff and awkward. The man hasn't hugged practically anyone in his lifetime and just generally feels awkward with physical touch.

During nights and maybe mornings, though, he'd be much softer and more open to hugs and cuddles. He feels mentally allowed to let himself soften up a little when it's just us.

2. Taking that man to see a movie, or even just watching one at home. He has literally never watched movies it would be peak. I need to explain the John Wick lore to him.

Wait fuck he is basically John Wick.

3. He's a quiet, simple man. He'd want to stay in and do something simple like a dinner date, or even just spend the evening quietly reading. He's the kinda guy who would be happy just being near his girlfriend (me) and would get overwhelmed by larger crowds.

This is also easier for me, because this way I would not have to pay for damages once Vergil inevitably broke the table in the restaurant because a fly landed in my soup.

4.

I FUCKING LOVE TALKING ABOUT SONGS THAT REMIND ME OF VERGIL

I FUCKING LOVE MUSIC THAT MAKES ME THINK OF HIM

I've talked way too much about songs that are on our playlist (COUGH Perfect Girl COUGH) so here are some that I have not yet talked about

Yellow by Coldplay is funny because I forgot that my mom had that one on her personal playlist so it came on in the kitchen and I was like omg Vergil reference.

Love Story by Taylor Swift is one I listened to when I was like TEN and selfshipped with sonic the hedgehog.

I have legit been selfshipping my whole life not even joking.

Put it on the playlist recently for funsies and nostalgia because I liked the song and then proceeded to get emotional over it. 10/10

I also really like the upbeat scenecore sounding songs but I feel bad because I know Vergil would hate the sound of those songs. 😭

A few examples:

Less than three - Disko Warp

Kiss me <3 - Vampyx

Pretty Scene Girl - Clover! I actually really like this one because it's cute picturing it from Vergil's perspective. Got a weird ass girlfriend who dresses like an emo but for some reason he wants to stay with her. He may not support the scene aesthetic, but he'd get used to me looking like it whenever we went in public.

He'd just beg me to take off the Hatsune Miku keychains once we got home. I'd oblige, but begrudgingly.

OKAY I'M GETTING TOO CAUGHT UP IN THIS TIME TO MOVE ON TO

5.

6. 2. Not very open to PDA. He prefers it in private.

7. I could not narrow it down to one.

I'm assuming we mean physical features because if we do all of my favorite aspects of him we'll be here all day. 💀

If I had to pick one I would say the way his cheek crinkles up when he smiles

It's such a rare sight because he doesn't smile too often, but it's so precious to me. He looks so genuine. Also like he's falling asleep.

Why does he always look like he's falling asleep when he smiles it's adorable but why.

But mannn every part of him is so beautiful to me I can't even settle on one. 😭

His hair is so floofy and I want to just bury my face in it. The way his body move when he fights is graceful. HIS EYES HIS BEAUTIFUL BLUE EYES.

I'M MOVING ON NOW I'M DYING.

8. Ironically even though he looks elegant the dude probably smells like blood and dirt.

I think it'd be cute if he started trying on different colognes to try to make me happy, only to learn that I visibly gag at the scent of practically all colognes, to which he'd go back to normal Vergil scent.

9. HONESTLY. HONESTLY.

I think he's a gift giver. I'm calling it now.

Like look at what he does almost instantly after making peace with Nero.

Gives the lad his book.

Then in the manga he lets Dante keep the amulet as a way of saying "Nice job you've gotten stronger."

Hell look at the damn peak of combat screenshot I always reference I KNOW POC ISN'T CANON BUT TO ME THIS IS

I think that Vergil, mister can't put his feelings into words to save his life, tries to give people things as a way of either apologizing or expressing his pride and affection to make up for his lack of words.

Honestly, this makes sense. One of his last happy memories before things started to go badly was he and Dante's birthday where his mother gave them presents. He probably associates presents with affection now.

10. If the world tries to deprive me from sharing a bed with Vergil I will punch the globe and eat the stars.

He'd be much softer when he slept, maybe curling up into a ball at first but gradually splaying out more. I generally sleep on my own, keeping to my own side of the bed, but I'd wrap my arms around his stomach whenever I needed the reassurance.

If his warrior instincts don't immediately make him grab my foot and launch me across the room it means he's relaxing around me.

11. DADGIL

Vergil's VA once said that if Vergil was aware of his lover being pregnant he'd stay and take care of his son and THE ABSOLUTE CHAOS THIS WREAKED ON THE FANDOM CANNOT GO UNSAID.

The idea of Vergil, this big strong swordsman having to settle down and help take care of his son is so cute??? And sweet???

I want Vergil being a dad Capcom why did you take this from me

Also all the boomer jokes of him not understanding technology and just fucking breaking every device he has just because it ran out of power is so funny.

12. Dumbass with no thoughts and man with insane kill count who suddenly feels the need to protect dumbass despite being tired of her dumbassity.

13. He'd start by trying to have a heart-to-heart conversation with me, then the second it doesn't work run out and buy a shitton of whatever ice cream he last saw me eat when I was sad, except he'd get way too much because he has no clue how normal human food portions work.

I'd try to point it out, he'd sulk, and the two of us would eat butter pecan ice cream for the next three months.

He would not learn from this.

Not that I'm complaining.

14. Both of us have never held hands before (certainly never before marriage, how scandalous) so we both awkwardly latch on to the other's hand like squids.

15. At first it was just because he felt like that was what he was supposed to do, so he'd awkwardly lean over and kiss my cheek.

As he got more and more comfortable, he'd just start kissing the top of my head whenever he wanted to show affection.

16. THE CHEEKS HIS SOFT CHEEKS I WANT TO 🥰🥰🥰

Step 1: Gently cradle jaw

Step 2: Apply kisses to cheeks

17. Still want to get him into video games (sigh)

Seriously though I'd love having him read to me. Leaning against his shoulder while listening to him read poetry I love love so much he means so much.

18. Okay so, I just call my s/i Z, but it's a cover up for my real name, which is based after a flower.

So I always loved the idea of him calling me "flower"? Like even in normal conversation.

"Did you move my coat, flower?"

(Unable to answer because dies)

19. Not yet. :(

I call him the usual. Boyfriend, hubby, wife, etc.

I haven't been able to come up with something unique yet. 😭

OKAY OKAY I'M DONE THANK YOU AGAIN I LOVEEEEEE

I want everyone to have the chance to ramble about their romantic f/os, so I'm gonna make a reblog game where yall can answer the plethora of questions I'm gonna toss down. Any of the questions you want to answer, as little or as much as you'd like!! I'll read them all. PR.O.SHIP DNI!!! AT ALL! GET OUT-

SO!! SELFSHIPPERS! RIDDLE ME THIS:

What do your f/o's hugs feel like?

What are your favorite dates to have with them?

What are their favorite dates to have with you?

Do you have any songs that remind you of them? Do they have any songs that make them think of you?

What's the height difference between you and your f/o?

On a 1-10 scale, with 1 being the least and 10 being the most, how much do they like PDA with you?

What's your favorite feature about your f/o?

What do you think they smell like?

What is your f/os biggest love languages? They don't have to be one of the "five", it can be anything specific they use to show you love.

Do you guys sleep in the same bed? If so, what's it like sleeping with them?

What's your favorite headcanon about your f/o?

What is the dynamic that you and your f/o have?

What does your f/o do for you when you're having a rough day?

Do you like to hold hands? If so, what's that like?

Do they like to give you little kisses? If so, where is their favorite place to kiss? (Face, hands, etc)

Vice versa, do YOU like to give them little kisses? If so, where is YOUR favorite place to give them?

What's your favorite silly leisure activity to do with your f/o?

What is your favorite compliment that your f/o gives you? What is your favorite nickname that they for you, if they have one?

What's your favorite compliment to give THEM? What is your favorite nickname to call them?

Okay I can't wait to see some answers!! Feel free to reblog as many times with as many f/os as you want. ANYONE CAN PARTICIPATE! SEEING THIS POST IS AN INVITATION FOR YOU!!

People I'd like to see answer this off the top of my head (but don't have to!!): @moxanji-real @one-winged-dreams @lovesickvalentines @graveluvr @clawingatmy-enclosure @starshakez @jpeg-indulgence @everynya @tropgothships @selfshipping-tboy @amelielovesamaris @pixel-comfort @fl0ralsxgar

[zahri-melitor]

Thinking more about Tom King; I do wonder how much of how he’s viewed on tumblr is a result of the following two facts:-

The majority of the DC comics fandom on tumblr does not have personal memories of 2001

The majority of the DC comics fandom on tumblr is not prepared to give government security or intelligence the time of day as having a necessary purpose

It sounds a bit ‘you don’t know what you’re missing’ but fundamentally I think part of the problem is that you’re (generally) too young to appreciate many of King’s fundamental storytelling elements, because you’re too young to remember or care about the topics he keeps going back to interrogate.

And this is something that comes up in conversations I have with friends who are school teachers and university lecturers all the time, because September 11 for the majority of their students has now moved from category 1 here to category 3:

Core ‘where were you’ memory (people born early 90s or before)

Foundation of their childhood status quo (mid 90s to mid 2000s; maybe as late as 2007-2008)

History (late 2000s onwards)

They’re the ones at the forefront of talking about this with their students, and it’s moved from ‘default background for undergraduates’ now into ‘history that has an effect on the present’. They’re now too young to have soaked in the exhaustingly omnipresent US patriotism of the culture of the 2000s. And so the reaction of current students as a cohort to things heavily based or reflective on this period is fundamentally different to someone who lived through it.

A similar, earlier comparison would be writers who frame everything through the lens of the Cold War as an analogy for their writing. I’m a category 2 for the fall of the USSR, and I grew up with that dividing line; there was a lot of media made in the 90s that still premised the Soviets as existing into the future (very early 90s stuff that hadn’t been fixed in time) or that frantically had had a word find-replace for “Soviet” to “Russian” but the general attitude hadn’t changed (good comics example here is go read any of KGBeast’s appearances around Knightfall in DC comics; they’re really struggling with what to do about him). There was also even more media that still wanted to hammer Cold War themes but invented new fake countries to overlay it onto and to discuss as being the background of proxy wars, so they had the out of ‘this isn’t a real place, it’s Markovia/Kaznia/Pan Balgravia or Qurac/Kahndaq/Bialya’.

Many of these got further use for decades up until the present, partly because Central Asia has remained a hotspot for conflict for decades as a result of the fallout of the Cold War proxy conflicts, and partly because shoving extra expy states into Europe means you can play with the politics without having to be exact.

Because to me, this is what I see King doing to the present. And why it sticks out is that most people aren’t harping on the themes constantly anymore like they were 20 years ago. But for King it’s a well he keeps going back to because he was so heavily involved in it and didn’t really get the chance to start processing it until he left the CIA around 2010 and started working his feelings out in stories.

Because yes, at this point he’s beating a dead horse, but there are also incredibly successful writers of military thrillers who are STILL writing veiled ‘it’s the Soviets’ or ‘it’s the Arab Terrorists’ plots and selling. There’s clearly an audience for it. The audience just is an aging one.

And as someone who does remember the period, some of his work is extremely ‘oh god I remember’ and some of it is genuinely well thought through analogies interrogating the topic. Media and storytelling are frequently in conversation with the world and with themes the writer cares about. And I think we can all tell how large some of this loomed in Tom King’s life.

[didalexiabreakupwitholgaisback]

arsenal fan here to give some thoughts on the recent ask and also the one yesterday about attitudes towards walsh - for a tldr version i would basically repeat your catchphrase 'don't listen to dumb dumbs on the internet'!

there is a loud minority of arsenal fans particularly on twitter who act this way but the contrast between them and the actual opinions in the stadium is ginormous, and i think most of the time they're just trolling for interactions and clout. no serious fan genuinely believes we'd walk over barca lol and i also think the majority of us would be delighted if keira signed - i think some of the reaction we've seen has been more about people not wanting us to drop £1 million on someone with 6 months on her contract rather than being specifically against her signing. i do think sometimes more casual viewers underestimate keira's talent purely because her position means she's not always doing the glamorous work like getting the goals and assists - for example i've been to england games with my mum and have ended up tearing my hair out trying to explain to her that keira actually is not playing badly haha

every high profile club has these types including arsenal, barca, and many others, but i'd encourage everyone coming across it to just roll your eyes and move on lol - i've found typically that the fans of any club with the most genuine ball knowledge are not the one screaming into a twitter echo chamber!

hi anon - 100% agreed with your take. especially the part about people posting these types of opinions for clout and to gain interactions. that's what the twitter/x algorithm values above actual discussion and debate. 🙄

and yes, it's the loud minority of fans who make it seem like 'everyone' holds the same opinions, when the opposite is true. so because you mentioned it:

thanks for your answers, anons. and if fans are abusing players in this manner, then they are not fans at all. 😵‍💫

i would think any team would be lucky to have keira. she's a gem! 🙏

100% agreed, brasilian anon! of all the players in the world, marta has absolutely earned that right.

again, it's just fans being idiots online. let's take the hypothetical that jenni retires in mexico. that doesn't give me the right to attack her or say bad things about her. at the end, she needs to do what is right for her and what is the best decision for her. same goes with marta. and as fans, we should accept what they have done for the game and be appreciative! 🙏

[evangelifloss]

Hey, I just red your amazing fight analysis and I want to know what you think about the scene where the bartender at the continental bar in the first movie says to John that he looks „vulnerable“. Do you think it’s the look in his eyes or the way he acts or moves ? (Which in my opinion look pretty normal) and how do you think John was before he left the business? Was he more cruel with his kills ?

I'm guessing you mean this scene, right? I hope so because I made this gif JUST for this ask since I LOVE what you've sent in. Thank you @persephone411 💖💖

To answer why the bartender picks up on John's vulnerability without him seemingly displaying any signals, I'll first and foremost use what I know of the later instalments regarding John's behaviour. And that is how much he speaks. Between movies 1 and 2, there's only a 15 word difference in regards to how many lines of dialogue he has (1st movie has 484, 2nd has 499) and for a movie that has a run time of 1 hour and 40-ish minutes, that's not alot of dialogue to begin with.

Take for example, Jack Sparrow from the 1st Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Reading through the script, I counted roughly 490 lines of dialogue from him and that movie has a runtime of 20 minutes LESS than John Wick 1!

So we know that John isn't a talker. Yet, when he finds himself back at the Continental bar, and reunites with the bartender who knows him very well, and given how familiar they are (her excitement at seeing him, a brief hug/cheek kiss) it becomes apparent that John is more... open. He doesn't just order a drink and say nothing else. He engages with her, and expresses, "She (helen) was more than I deserved." Which by all accounts expresses a softer side to John, an admission that he is not impervious to grief. Assassins don't do that. Retired he may still technically be, he is still in a room full of people who are NOT retired, who could overhear and see the man behind Baba Yaga. That sentimentality can get you killed in the Assassin world.

Secondly, his face is sporting a few rough marks, and I very much doubt John the Baba Yaga would show himself at the Continental bar sporting proof he can be injured.

As my final thought, for me personally, it's his tone and his eyes that give away his grief. His inner turmoil that will eventually overflow into a bloody tsunami. The micro-movements of his face as he pauses, when he looks away, and even when he greets her, the man is Tired. The man is not at this point in time, the Baba Yaga.

The second part of your ask is very interesting because we have almost next to nothing to go off of! No prequels (thank god) and barely any direct Lore other than what others speak about John which ironically, is missing direct context which leaves us viewers to speculate.

The John we know is the old John. The grieving John. The Man. We get glimpses of what he used to be, and how characters react upon hearing his name but we never get the Baba Yaga. Not entirely.

Continuing off this, my personal speculation is that John wasn't a vicious killer. He was an incredibly efficient one. You can buy time with a sadist if you are able to withstand them long enough for help to arrive but you cannot do the same towards someone whose only goal is to kill you on sight. As quickly as possible. And that someone also happens to be the best of the best. Combine those two skills and I think that is what makes Baba Yaga so terrifying to those in the underworld. It was enough for Viggo, head of a massive Russian syndicate, to go silent upon hearing the name despite knowing John had been retired for 5 years!!

On another note, and this barely gets touched upon but throughout the movie you come to know that for such a silent and deadly killer, John has a weird amount of people willing to die for him.

The High Table actively discourages and creates a continually hostile environment amongst assassins so that bonds and genuine alliances/friendships can't begin nor be maintained and yet... look how many people are willing to so far for John.

This speaks to the level of respect and integrity John must have to simultaneously be a deadly killer AND to not be hated by everyone.

He does his job well but he is not cruel. He will not endanger unrelated persons if he can help it, he is sincere and loyal.

It's why the High Table fuckin hates him.

[skunkes]

for me, the loveliest parts of your drawings are the construction. like veryyy inspired and true to anatomy but very clearly your own flavor. your pdf has really really put that "spark" for me in drawing again 💖 especially since I also draw doodley & small. unfortunately, with my ADHD/current workflow it's a real uphill battle to not give up a study despite desperately wanting to get better at construction. :(

if you use studies a lot, do you have any tips on how to keep studies fun? What sources have worked for you in the past? (especially for fat/wrinkles/clothes)?

This is getting to be a pretty specific ask haha sorry if it's a lot. I hope some of it made sense tho :)

hi hi so idk that i'd endorse it per se but what worked for me was only focusing on stuff i was interested in for years LOL

so in high school i loved drawing hands and arms... so i only ever focused on hands and arms...

i literally did not start fully focusing on/trying to learn Legs (for example) until the last 2 years. you can see even now that idk how to draw shoes (and idk that ill ever learn because ive never cared about em irl and only really use one pair LMFAO but that could change!) and then its slowly come together like puzzle pieces.

All of this came from personal interest....i was fascinated with hands and arms at first, the shapes the forms. then u can combine it with other things. i became determined to draw all sorts of bodies well so i could depict my ocs accurately. i had a focus on noses because i love noses and wanted to have ocs with their own unique noses, so i had an excuse to draw said ocs more to learn. (and then becoming enamored with all the ways skin and flesh can sit and squish helped with wanting to draw bodies more).

stuff like that helps keep it fun. sometimes when i do body studies now i dont draw the heads/faces because its less fun (TO ME) to do that and i know ill end up focusing more on that than the learning of the body.

sometimes i draw the bodies with my ocs heads so i have more fun. when i first started learning legs i only drew disembodied ones.

im not saying to do dis and yes you have to leave your comfort zone to get better sometimes but you have to find what works for YOU... bc if you get too "uncomfortable" then u wont wanna do it at all (see again: i could force myself to draw a page of shoes but i genuinely just dont want to adn i dont care. maybe in a few years ill be obsessed with them. im king of not leaving my comfort zone. i love being comfortable. but i make it work)

however you Learn you can always expand upon it once u have the foundation! like how over the years ive added more little details to some forms (because i like seeing them!)

idk how i learned to get better at drawing fat but i recommend sources like fatphotoref, morpho's book on fat and skin folds, and (18+ recommendation) subreddits for nudes, especially if they're focused on fat people. i like this last one bc you can truly see a range of difference in body proportions and fat distribution etc as well as seeing how other people stylize such things

im going to be real with u and say i SUPER dont know how i learned folds. im actually still learning now that im exploring more fashion in the real world, but even now i kind of just guess from what i know theyre meant to look like. if i REALLY want it to look accurate ill wear a similar garment and use that as a ref and then keep that in my mental library. here's 2 examples i can think of where i really had to take a pic because my imagination wasn't cutting it (and even then the 2nd was exaggerated of course.) this seems like a "leaving the comfort zone" moment but it was truly fueled by curiosity and fascination more than anything, which is good. (but AGAIN. you could not get me to care this much about drawing shoes. so it really depends on You and your interests in order to make it fun.)

otherwise i kinda just guess 😭 this is where i excel at focusing on making something look Good instead of right. i just see what shapes look fun, sculpt them around the body...

morpho also has a clothing + folds book though, so i wld look there ^_^ perhaps try putting a subject you really enjoy into your favorite outfit for practice? stuff like that... that post about how improvement comes from being insanely obsessed with something is real u just gotta find and latch onto whatever that may be

[rouge-fauna]

In this discduo timeline pastebin i read, you can see tommy did care about dream for a very long time even while his friends were trying to convince him that dream was bad, he continued to praise dream and had plans to meet him irl. It wasnt until june july 2023 when tommy started believing the lies his friends and fans kept telling him and thays when he banned the words dream and discduo in his chat and said that he didnt wanna go all the way to florida. I think he genuinly thinks dream wronged him based on his body language in the podcast and how he dissocoates, like tommy now percieves all his past positive interactions with dream as a negative and jack, harry, and tommys fanbase fed into that, but he also is lying about dream with other things. And i mean he could be faking that body language to garner sympathy Im not entirely sure. Im just looking at the nuance here. He knows dream or at least he did. He used to check up on him all the time and he knew how bad dreams mental health was, but he still lies and claims dreams apathetic and thinks dream cant take accountability and thinks dream doesnt care about him when dream has always cared. I can send you that pastebin if u want, u can see the decline in where tommy starts turning against dream its aroundn the time where he and harry got closer. But before that, he saw dream as this brilliant helpful guy and referred to him as a friend, even in the past referred to him as closer than a brother. He cared for dream at some point for a long time, then ditched him and betrayed him. Also dream refers to tommy as emotional, and i can see how someone so sensitive can interpret a long dm as an attack, and apparently he did explain his issue to dream before but it never got resolved or tommys lying about that too. I dont doubt that he is doing a lot of this to get attention, but i do think some feelings could be genuine despite it logically not adding up. I can see how someone could interpret dreams dms in a stressful way. But the fact tommy even gave a shit about dream in the past to begin with makes this worse, because the way i see it, if someone close to me turned on me i would be a lot more hurt by that than if someone i was only colleagues with turned on me.

Was gonna chrck back on their past interactions to see if i can spot anything shady on tommys part if yk what i mean even if this is gonna make me sad. One of my co workers offered to do a watchparty💀

(I should preface this by saying I have not yet watched the podcast, because at the moment I’m little too triggered to even give a shit about what Tommy has to say to be honest. I don’t really see what defense or reasoning you could possibly have for calling anyone, nonetheless your past friend a “proper movie villain” while accusing him of things that aren’t true, knowing the consequences. I mean I just don’t think people have really let that fact truly sink he, Tommy publicly compared Dream to Darth Vader, Bane, The Joker, Voldemort…etc mass murderers. Just think about that for a second. That’s not okay. People are out there comparing him to Hitler and talking about brutal ways to kill him, a go fund me to kill Dream has started. I don’t think there is a damn thing Tommy can say Dream did to excuse that shit, he will get no sympathy from me. Even if Dream physically abused him, which ain’t true since they’ve never met, Dream still shouldn’t be compared to freaking Hannibal.)

Even so, as I have said in some of my past posts on the matter, I do think perhaps Tommy was hurt by something that happened with Dream in the past and in retrospect realized perhaps things weren’t as good as he thought. Which happens, sometimes we look back on things and are like - hey wait a minute that wasn’t okay and that hurt. But that doesn’t make that person a shit person.

The example I believe I previously talked about was my first kiss, but to give another example, a guy I was good friends with freshman year of college was very handsy and I didn’t really realize in the moment how I felt about it or that he was pushing boundaries he shouldn’t. At first I didn’t think much of it. I was naive and autistic and didn’t really know better, and he was too. He didn’t have sisters, hell he thought woman were always making milk lol. In other words, we were both dumb. And looking back he did a lot of things that really were not okay, but once I came to realize and set boundaries he respected them. In fact, we are still kinda friends today, we’re even roomates for a bit after I graduate back in 2023. So, suffice to say, sometimes people can do shitty things or even things that you realize later were not okay, or even things that traumatize you, but that doesn’t make that person shitty. Especially if you didn’t call it out in the moment. This is what I mean by giving Dream the benefit of the doubt, sure I could perceive my friend as manipulative and taking advantage of naivety or whatever, or I recognize that he really just doesn’t know better. Now when you tell someone to stop and then they continue (depending on what it is because ya know old habits die hard or like my adhd is gonna try my hardest but I will inevitably skews up pronouns - just like I screw up everyone’s pronouns) now you’ve entered into the malicious and intentional area.

Bringing it back to Dream, Tommy was upset and told him to stop texting his mother, so Dream apologized to both and stopped. It becomes harassment and malicious if Dream continued over and over to do it, but he didn’t. This is why Dream is frustrated because he doesn’t know what behavior is upsetting people, and in his heart that’s not what he wants to do, but if people don’t tell him how is he meant to improve. At the end of the day, he doesn’t want to offend anyone or hurt someone, that doesn’t mean he hasn’t done so though as these things happen, nobody is perfect.

So I think maybe Tommy was hurt, maybe it was in retrospect looking back, maybe it was friends pointing things out and were like - hey that’s fucked up that happened. Maybe some of that hurt is genuine. And maybe you could make the case that that hurt has spurred him to take revenge and ruin Dream in whatever way it takes. So the jokes and lies are just part of his lashing out because he feels wronged.

However, there is also a case to be made that given Tommy’s history as pointed out by Dream with Logan Paul, maybe it was all an act. Maybe he was using Dream from the start and Dream being the naive, good hearted, autistic guy made an easy target. Maybe he only pretended to be good friends, sure Dream doesn’t have anything to gain from being Tommy’s friend but that doesn’t go both ways. Tommy has a lot to gain from being Dream’s friend, but as the tides turned he had a lot to lose by being Dream’s friend and it was easier to switch sides not that there was no incentive, as Dream pointed out as the USMP fell through so did Tommy switch sides. Once he couldn’t gain clout for being on Dream’s side but being against Dream, he switches. Because a lot of his audience has always been against Dream, struggling to tell the difference between character and person and as is human nature, instinctively hating an autistic person. That has been the case for ages, Tommy could have given into his audience for ages but even during the allegations height he still did that dsmp finale and posted that picture on Twitter (which he got a lot of hate for)…

All I’m saying, is even the people who have wronged me, even the person who pushed me to almost kill myself, I wouldn’t wish death or harassment upon them. I wouldn’t do the shit Tommy has pulled, because there was a time when we were friends. There were times when they were good to me. And maybe that makes me an exception to the rule, that people would be so cruel to the people they once called friends, but I couldn’t and that’s what makes me question Tommy’s sincerity and capacity for empathy…

Though perhaps both can be true.

[mohntilyet]

is this a safe space to admit i really don't even like the lines in lucanis' first romance scene where he says something like "perfectly gathered clouds of doom" . but that does not stop me from loving him very much. i'm choosing to see this as a guy who is the terrible combo of reads romance novels, has never had a romantic relationship before AND his definition of 'good flirt' is synonymous with 'illario' so he's got an incorrect definition of what's actually romantic. the less lucanis is specifically trying to be romantic the more he becomes irresistible but i don't think he's caught onto that yet

[kagoutiss]

pays for his therapy

[rosenbraut]

Btw the boys is a great example of the state of sensuality in USAmerican culture. There is a very fine line of what kind of pleasure is acceptable to enjoy/crave/need, and it depends on who you are whether you’re crossing the line or not. Firstly, “deviant” sexual interests (kinks, fetishes, etc) are treated as both a freak show and something to be made fun of. Creepy, funny, weird, disgusting. But more importantly, sexual violence against men is treated as a joke, while male submission (or NEED in any way, sexual or not) is a sign of weakness and leads to ridicule. It’s so telling and so bleak. Sexual assault of course is one thing, but also just the fact that men are only allowed to express sensuality in very limited terms (passionate/rough sex where they play the dominant/active role) and that the very human need for affection is reduced to sexual need and/or ridiculed — it’s so narrow and tight a box and everything else is mocked. Not that I expect that much from that show but it’s REALLY interesting to see. They really live like this.

[the-terrible-theys]

found a tier list thing for ranking all the wks creature power suit designs and figured it’d be fun :)

tier list maker is linked here if you’re curious

anyway here’s mine!

edit: i keep getting notifs for this so i wanted to add that the tiermaker was done by @/galmiahthepigeon !

[dreamsy990]

my thoughts on ddd basically boil down to "great game! kill the story with fire and sticks." which i think is about the coldest take ever. do not get me started on how nobodies having hearts is a dumbfuck plot twist i am so full of rage over that.

[virmillion]

watched love simon again, had a breakdown, bon appetit.

something about how simon had (eventually) all that support - his mom told him he got to breathe now, his dad apologized for the jokes and for never seeing it, everyone said they loved him, that he was still him

anyway. rough never got the chance to do that (at least not to that extent, albeit also avoiding the wretched way it went down). at most, he came out to some friends at college, but not fully, not to everyone

and yeah, his parents might've been fine with it. emily probably would've. they would've all adjusted. eventually. but now he'll never know, is the issue. he won't get to tell them, and now everyone is going to remember him wrong. they are going to label and bury a casket containing a body that no longer belongs to him (and frankly, hasn't belonged to him in a long time)

functionally, he wasted his time. he Did School, then he graduated and Did College, then he died. he didn't get to Do a real relationship, or being himself. "you get to breathe now, you're still you" but is he? he never was himself, not all the way. "oh you're still yourself on the inside, no matter what other people saw or say" other people see him buried and mourn a girl who died years ago and he can't correct them