#“i had a lot of firsts” im sure you did.

[zorbik-guligan]

Not really sure what incongruous means so I'll look it up after but it does feel like as i get older life gets more complex theres more things i understand now that sure i knew about them before but not in great detail but it feels like I've become so fucking complex as a person that if i tried to explain what i actually think and feel it would just overwhelm a person so i try and section myself off into pieces and just use different parts of me with different situations or people and it may just be because ive spent most of my time these past 2 almost 3 years now alone with nothing to do but think and figure myself out that when im asked what i think about something slightly personal its kinda hard to say it just got lost in my head somewhere and that whatever i think will change at a moments notice like i can bring up memories of lots of things and remember nostalgic times but i spent so long thinking about why i feel a certain way or what makes me feel a certain way in order to try and get a better hold of myself that ive kinda forgotten alot of my past like so many memories that i made are just gone because remembering them made me feel a way i dont want to feel like i remember realizing the beginning of 6th grade that i had completely forgotten 5th grade and the reason why was because that time i had was so nice yet not at the same time my brain just frogot because it didn't want a reminder of how good yet not something can be like great teachers who for the first time ever actually seemed to care as far as i could tell class mates who were generally friendly and occasionally checked on me if i seemed off yet i felt so alone cause nobody there really seemed like a real friend like the friends i had before who even when we were in deep trouble wouldn't rat me out and would stick with me who genuinely cared and missed me if i was sick getting older and not having anyone to socialize with for really formative years off my life has made understand those really old dudes who are nice and always up to make friends but just seem extra lonely for some reason despite knowing so many people i guess technically being that alone did hurt me but i kinda learned that im just not alone ever when im outside theres always some squirrels birds or plants nearby that make it more lively its why ive grown so fond of certain forested spots they are always lively and it feels like hanging out with all my friends its also why i enjoy making things like with metal or wood stone or even writing and painting those things feel alive in a way same with music and having time to think so much has made me reflect and realize that no day is the same and even when something changes something else stays the same or gos back to how it was in a weird cycle like growing but remembering where you were growing older for me anyways is like gaining more skills and more knowledge not just on the stuff around me but on myself too obviously people change sometimes pretty quickly too but getting older makes you learn more about yourself which duh that how life works but still it feels weird to be aware of it at 17 when it feels like i should still be trying to figure out my favorite youtuber or something not contemplate who i am as a person and what makes me feel the way i do but its a good kind of weird and theres always more to learn and find so i still have plenty of room to learn more about myself still not being able to really fully let a person know you kinda sucks but to be fair that is a rather special thing its also nice being able to put into words why i feel a certain way so that i can actually explain myself instead of just going quiet cause i dont know myself that well still kinda funny to know your own problems but not be able to jusy fix them when you know its a very deep problem even when it seems surface level and damn i got kinda personal there woops also just noticed that im shaking so might be overwhelmed remembering 5th grade which is probably why i frogot it or at least thought i did

anybody else feel that being human is like being a long-time syndicated cartoon character watching the world get more complex while your own design stays the same until youre incongruous with the reality around you??

[felassan]

I received a few asks around a similar topic, so I'm popping them together here. ( ´ ▽ ` ) DA:TV spoilers under cut.

[the Felassan Files]

hello! ◕‿◕ thank you for the lovely and fun ask messages!!

lavendervoids asked: "i’ve been dying to know what ur reaction was to seeing felassan in the game was???? the moment i saw him i was yelling and hollering and my first thought was “omg what does tumblr user felassan think of this” LMAO and thank you for all the documenting you’ve been doing up until and past the release of the game, i ended up blocking every dragon age tag a couple months back to avoid any sort of spoilers but i still came to your blog everyday cause i knew you wouldn’t spoil me haha"

hhhh ( ´ ▽ ` ) tysm for thinking of me at that time!! and for the nice comment about this blog and visiting it. I'm really glad to know that my approach to spoiler tagging etc has been okay for you.

littlerune asked: "i don't even know you but you and dragon age felassan are so intrinsically linked in my brain that when he appeared in veilguard all i thought was "ohhhh i wonder how tumblr user felassan feels about this"

hhhh :D 🥺 thankyou so much for thinking of me!! ♡ some say that his ghost operates this tumblr blog, or that he lives still

songofamazon asked: "I'm still on my first play of the game, but whenever I got to the memories in the Crossroads, I thought to myself, "I hope Tumblr Felassan is having a great time. Did you?"

I had a great time playing the game and when playing the Crossroads memories sections, I loved them a lot, they were very cool and a highlight of the game. thankyou sm and for thinking of me, and I hope that you did too!!

phantabula-interactive asked: "im so glad you're enjoying the game!! I had to ask; how did you feel about seeing Felassan in game?? I was so excited to see the notes from him, I wasn't expecting a boss fight MUCH LESS. FULL CAMEO!!! They made him a lot prettier than I was expecting too (/pos)"

thankyou!! I hope that you've been enjoying it too!

so: I was sooo excited and shook to see Felassan in the game!!! I was like

(I yelped/hooted out loud like a clown) and then

and then it was suddenly like too much (pos) and my soul left my body and i astral projected into space/paradise/the Astral Plane/the Void or something etc

and then it took me some time to process or gather my thoughts about it.

obviously I was super hoping that we would see him in the game. I was sure that there would at least be some references to him in codexes/notes etc or allusions made in passing dialogue like Cole and Solas' lines about him in Trespasser. then when the marketing mentioned that we would see flashbacks from Solas' past in the Crossroads, I was like aaa omg, wouldn't that be the perfect time to actually show Felassan??, as a Fade memory or flashback or spirit echo or something. so then I was hoping like 🕯️🕯️🕯️ and yea. but even so, still when I saw him in game for the first time it was still a huge shocked Pikachu moment for me.

I was already feeling psyched from the first Felassan codex/note that I found, then I couldn't believe (pos) just how many codexes/notes scattered around written by him that there was?? I was already feeling spoiled (not spoiled by spoilers but like spoiled from eating good) from that (a bunch of codexes/notes might not seem like a lot but when your fav is a side character that has only appeared in one [1] tie-in novel..) and then he goes and actually APPEARS, AAAA. I feel like I ate so good. with the Betrayal fight and the rune at the end as well, it felt like he was threaded throughout the game and was really haunting the narrative. some assorted thoughts:

first of all everything about his DA:TV appearances/DA:TV references continues to underscore that he is the greatest of all time

it also continues to underscore the pain of his death/story and of his friendship with Solas

may I please go and start a new life living in Solas' memories of Felassan on repeat. i simply do not care that my body would waste away in the waking world from lack of sustenance

in the endgame I was trying to concentrate and punch Elgar'nan in the face and save the world but I like couldn't see straight through the tears after having been given Felassan's Magical Boyfriend Super Rune (morrigan pls.. what a way to twist the KNIFE at an extremely critical moment for thedas hhhh..)

expansion pack where we relive Solas' memories of him and Felassan dating (he didn't deserve Felassan tho fr. but then, does anyone..?)

I know that Felassan would treat Lavellan sooooo right. so well. so respectfully. felassan would pull their chair out for them at restaurants and open car doors and whatever

Betrayal of Felassan refers to Solas' betrayal of Felassan, not Felassan's betrayal of Solas

also i love how they made him DEVASTATINGLY handsome?? in the game (they didnt need to go that hard), but also how, at the same time - even before the TME Deluxe edition illustrations, we all just inherently knew deep in our bones that he was, you could simply just tell from his energy and vibes and dialogue even in only the written word. cool rolls off this guy in waves, and always has done

did his model have smoky winged eye makeup? love that. love that for him

I liked his sense of style. the hair his model has happened to be one of the ones I was debating using for my Rook. it's one of my fav ones from the CC

I appreciated the attention they paid to detail when making his model. Mythal vallaslin, violet/purple eyes, an undercut - as he was previously described or shown in TME, dev social media comments and the TME deluxe illustrations

I liked the actor they chose for him, his voice was cool

I felt like his codexes and notes that he wrote captured his voice and his character. you can see the depth of his loyalty and devotion to his friend, his concerns, and he retains his 'voice' in terms of some snark, wit etc

it's fun thinking about whether Felassan originally manifested from the Fade (and if so, what was he a spirit of) or whether he was born the usual way of other elves. (it could be either one)

Betrayal of Felassan as a manifested embodied regret and its lines like "his back, turned".. very raw. that fight was hard enough mechanically for me as it was, then the lines were like being hamstrung LOL. how could they??? (pos/lh)

I always thought that, a long time ago, Solas was essentially the player character in a different game, the main character of another story. the leader of his own group of companions and friends on their own quest (to stop the Evanuris), and that Felassan was one of those companions. Alistair to his Hero of Ferelden if you will. in DA:TV we learn that not only was he one of his companions, he was basically the second-in-command of his rebellion, a General, his closest friend aside from Mythal and his right-hand man.

he was so cool back in his heyday

pain. paaaaain. but like in a good way (I unironically love to be hurt by stories pls continue 💀...)

there are a few further posts containing more bits of my reaction and thoughts scattered through my Felassan tag. ^^

There were also a few other asks about this in my inbox, but Tumblr appears to have eaten them?? :< so if you've asked me about Felassan and my reaction since launch but the message isn't in this post, thankyou sm and I'm very sorry. 😔 pls feel free to re-send it. :)

I do remember that one of the vanished messages asked me what the Slaughter of the Pillars boss regret refers to - the Pillars of the Earth are the Titans. ("Hail Mythal, adjudicator and savior! She has struck down the pillars of the earth and rendered their demesne unto the People! Praise her name forever!") That undead boss embodies another of Solas' greatest regrets, namely what he and Mythal did to the Titans during the war with them - sundering every Titan from their spirit, severing them from their dreams, which resulted in the Blight as the dreams were driven mad. it also in a sense broke the dwarves in two and caused the fall of the fate of the dwarven people. Beyond the mural-memory that pertains to this in DA:TV, there are depictions of this time in the ancient past in the DA:TV artbook: [one, two]. Annotations there describe Solas rendering the Titans tranquil and capturing their souls; dwarves as a consequence then losing their connection to magic and fleeing into the now-Tranquil earth; and the Evanuris then building Elvhenan using the power of the captured Titan souls.

[httpsdana]

Hello I have a request!

I hope it’s not too confusing and not too plain

Sorry my first time requesting

I like your fics a lot

So…

It is where reader is friends with Cubarsi and one of her friends likes him. reader likes Pau but doesn’t tell anyone that she likes him. the other friend that likes Pau tells people and thinks Pau likes her and is going to ask her out.

reader gets rlly upset and is already tackling with depression and knowing abt this makes her rlly sad. also if you can add how the girl asks you ask Cubarsi if he likes her. this makes reader so upset. but then Pau sees her upset so he tries to comfort her and confesses he likes reader.

(btw Cubarsi and reader like msg everyday and stuff)

also if you can’t do this or it’s a bit confusing im so sorry. im having this issue irl and wna cry

I am reading over this and it is very confusing very soory

In the Quiet Spaces Between Us~Pau Cubarsi

・❥・prompt list

・❥・masterlist -> part 2

・❥・who I write for

・❥・a/n: I really hope this is what you asked for 🙏🏻

She wasn't sure when her friendship with Pau had shifted into something more—when the late-night texts and easy conversations began carrying a weight that made her heart ache.

Maybe it was the way he smiled at her, soft and unguarded, or the way his texts always seemed to brighten her darkest days. Whatever it was, y/n had fallen for him, and the realization had been as terrifying as it was exhilarating.

But she never told anyone. Not Pau, and certainly not her friend María, who recently announced her crush on him with unbridled enthusiasm.

“I think Pau likes me,” María said one evening as you both sat in a café. Her tone was light, but the certainty in her voice cut through y/n like a blade.

She forced a weak smile. “Why do you think that?”

María shrugged, swirling her straw in her iced coffee. “He’s always looking at me during group hangouts. And the other day, he laughed at one of my jokes even though it wasn’t that funny. That has to mean something, right?”

y/n laughed nervously, clutching her own drink like it was a lifeline. “Maybe he just thought it was funny.”

María grinned, oblivious to the storm brewing inside y/n. “No way. I’ve got a feeling about this. I think he’s going to ask me out soon.”

The words made her stomach twist painfully, but she swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. “Maybe.” she murmured

That night, Pau texted y/n, just like he always did.

Pau: “How was your day?”

y/n: “It was okay. You?”

Pau: “Long, but better now that I’m talking to you.”

Her fingers hovered over the keyboard, her chest tightening at his words.

Did he mean it the way she wanted him to? Or was this just his way of being a good friend?

y/n: “That’s sweet of you to say.”

Pau: “It’s true. I’d go crazy without our chats.”

She stared at the screen, her heart aching.

If only he knew how much she wished those words carried more meaning.

A few days later, María cornered y/n after a group hangout, her face glowing with excitement. “Hey,” she said, her voice practically buzzing. “I need a favor.”

“What’s up?” she asked, already wary of the look in her eyes.

“Can you ask Pau if he likes me?”

Her words hit her like a punch to the gut. “What?”

María laughed, as though it were the most natural request in the world. “You’re closer to him than I am. He won’t suspect anything if you ask casually.”

y/n felt her mouth go dry. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady.

“Oh, come on,” María pressed, her grin faltering. “Please? I really think he likes me, but I just want to be sure before I make a move.”

y/n felt like the ground was crumbling beneath her. How could she not see how much this was hurting her?

Her words were the final straw. y/n mumbled an excuse and left the conversation, retreating to the bathroom where she locked the door behind her. Tears burned her eyes as she leaned against the sink, her chest heaving with silent sobs. It felt like everything was crumbling. Her feelings for Pau and her friendship with María were all colliding, leaving her gasping for air.

When she finally emerged, her eyes red and puffy, she avoided everyone and went straight home. She didn’t even check her phone, ignoring the notifications piling up from Pau.

The next morning, a knock at her door startled y/n. Groggily, she pulled herseld out of bed and shuffled to the door, opening it to find Pau standing there.

“Hey,” he said, his voice soft but laced with concern. “Are you okay? You didn’t reply to my texts last night.”

She blinked at him, her heart aching at the sight of his worried expression. “I’m fine,” she lied.

“No, you’re not,” Pau said, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation. “What’s going on? Did I do something?”

y/n shook her head, avoiding his gaze. “you did nothing wrong. I’m just tired.”

He didn’t speak for a moment, and the silence stretched uncomfortably. Then he said, “Is this about María?”

Her head snapped up, her heart pounding. “What do you mean?”

“She’s been dropping hints lately,” Pau said, his voice careful. “About… us.”

y/n swallowed hard, her throat dry as she expected him to tell her he likes María. “And?”

“And I don’t feel that way about her,” he said simply, his gaze steady on hers.

Relief flooded through her, but it was quickly followed by a wave of guilt. “She really likes you,” she said quietly.

“I know,” Pau said, his voice softening. “But I can’t pretend to feel something I don’t.”

Her hands trembled in her lap, and she clenched them into fists to stop the shaking. “do you like someone else?”

Pau hesitated, his eyes searching hers. “Do you really want to know?”

She nodded, her heart pounding so hard it felt like it might burst.

He reached out, his hand brushing against hers. “I like you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

The words didn’t register at first. She stared at him, stunned. “What?”

“I like you,” he repeated, his tone firmer this time. “I have for a while now. I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

Tears filled her eyes, and she shook her head. “But why? I’m… I’m a mess, Pau. I’m not like María. I’m not—”

“Stop,” he said, cutting her off. He reached for her hand, holding it tightly. “You don’t have to be anyone else. You’re enough, just the way you are. And I don’t care what you think about yourself—I see someone strong, kind, and beautiful.”

His words broke through the walls she'd built around her heart, and a sob escaped her lips. “I thought I was going to lose you,” she whispered.

“You’re not losing me,” Pau said, his voice steady. “Not now, not ever.”

He pulled her into his arms, holding her as she cried. His embrace was warm and safe, and for the first time in what felt like forever, the darkness in her mind began to lift.

[alikuarso]

To answer your question about Fresh: Fresh is actually a parasite! He dresses in his 90's-themed clothes and speaks in a silly way so that others underestimate him. His main and utmost goal is to Survive, and the way he does that is by infecting other people with his parasites and draining the life from their souls. Being seen as harmless lets him get closer to them and gives him easier access for possession. He hopes to eventually take over the multiverse, spreading his parasites in every corner of it and having absolute control.

He also has no emotions. He is capable of them, but for whatever reason he is unable to feel much, besides the rare instance of anger. He does frequently feel fear, though.

He is a bit sadistic, and he likes seeing others suffer. This is because when he takes over someone he drains their soul of life, which causes them pain. And to him, taking someone's body means safety, it means he can survive a bit longer as long as he's snatched their body. So he's come to associate the pain of others as something good.

And he's also aware of the creators/viewers, thanks to an event called the Loveball, which is canon to his character.

Going to copy and paste my own words for this [I was talking to a friend about Loveball]:

"So, like seven years ago there was a fandom-wide event called the Loveball, where people gathered their OCs and had them all attend an UTMV dancing ball. Fresh went, of course. There, he met a Frisk called Pacifrisk. Even knowing who he really was [90's parasite], they still believed he could be good. Before this, he hadn't ever really felt a connection to anyone, or even positive emotions in general. But Pacifrisk's faith in him made him feel positively towards them. This freaked him out. [No Fr@ns though, don't worry. That wasn't the intention for this plot.]

As a result, not only did he try to kill them, but he also went through with his plans: the Fresh Takeover [I forget what it's actually called]. His true reason for attending the ball. OCs were either possessed by the parasites or tried to fight against them. Apparently, some people used alcohol to ward the virus off, as Fresh hates substances such as that.

Fresh wanted to take over the multiverse, with this Loveball being the first step for his total domination.

But then right in the middle of things, a Sans AU [which I totally forget the name of X,D] grabbed Fresh and basically yeeted him into an alternate state of being. One where he could see the creators, all staring at him. An audience.

The Sans revealed the nature of Fresh's existence: That he was simply a character in a story. And if the creators got bored of him, he could easily be written aside and forgotten. Erased. His conquest didn't matter, in the end.

Predictably, this gave him an existential crisis. I'm not sure what happened after, but he stopped invading and went somewhere to contemplate his existence in a depressed state.

Afterwards, he had a new goal: To entertain. To convince the creators that he was worth keeping around. Similar to his previous goal of survival, but now with more dire stakes."

His creator @loverofpiggies has some posts about the Loveball, tagged under either the 'fresh sans' tag or the 'loveball' tag, which I recommend you check out! ^^

But yeah, to answer your question: The reason Fresh fought Ink was probably 1: because he saw it as a good way to keep himself alive and 2: So that he could be relevant and interesting to the viewers.

Hope this answered any questions you might have about him! ^w^

THANK YOU BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY I WOULD HAVE FOUND ABOUT ANY OF THIS OTHERWISE😭😭😭 THAT'S A LOT

Now I want to draw fresh existential crisis mood, That's something I never would have imagined existed

Im still a bit confused about fresh not having emotions¿ but I think I got the idea, but still, why does he feel fear?

I think fresh is becoming my favorite now, help, error do something

(Thank you again for your time✨️)

[skullvgirl]

SPECIAL COMPANY

It had been 1 year since you first killed another human being. You were only 19 at the time and since then you’ve had a lot to think about. 

The warehouse which had been your home for only a short while became infested with zombies soon after you had got there. Thankfully the truck you’d borrowed still had enough gas in it to take you to your permanent home, a small little cottage farm tucked away in the grasslands just off of the coast of where you used to live and somehow had enough vegetables and food left behind to last you until your first winter. 

You even came across a few abandoned farm animals, two cows, three chickens and a single horse whose name fortunately you were able to identify as Cookiedough. It made sense, the fur of the animal closely resembled the sweet mixture you wished still existed in a time like this.

Unfortunately for you however, in the year that passed things like desserts became such a rarity it was almost impossible to find all the correct ingredients that would make it. Most people didn't just have preserved chocolate chips lying around. It also was  a waste of resources considering the situation. You weren’t a fully fledged country bumpkin but you had a few animals at home–experience aiding you in how to use your supplies wisely especially in the different seasons, thankfully summer was just around the corner, that meant harvesting all you had grown in the spring and making sure nothing dire happened while you did.

You breathed in the dewy morning air, flowing into a familiar morning routine. You reached for the journal under your bed, flipping to the very last page in the book, tapping the led on the bottom for a moment then finally began to write. 

Dear Mom and Dad

This is Day 116 since I began writing to you and I’m sad to say this will be our goodbye. It’s been a long journey since having you and I’m so glad you were there with me. Since you guys died things have been so different, and while I hope to continue writing  forever I know that may not be possible. I still plan on going to Paris, since you know, Im immune or whatever, but I don't know how long that will take or how much time will pass before I can keep writing to you guys, in the meantime though I’m working ( or looking I guess ) on a cure for the infection so hopefully people like you can continue living . See you soon. 

Love, Your Daughter.

You breathed shakily and placed the pencil down, sliding the notebook back under the bed where it belonged. Wiping away tears you hopped downstairs to continue your day. 

“Come on Cookiedough, this way.” You led the horse, ignoring its impatient huffs as you placed a large hay barrel in front of it. You continued on like this, glad to see no man eating creatures had snuck into the garden shed last night. It was a common occurrence to find zombies lurking around the area trying to find some unsuspecting human to eat. 

The guns the owner left behind at this house easily took care of that though. 

You glanced at the watch on your wrist then back at the sun, if you headed out soon you’d be able to explore a bit further. Eager to expand the map of the area you lived in to the edges of the old paper, you crossed a large red X onto the puppy spotted calendar in your room, today marked the almost-anniversary for Outbreak Day, not that you planned on celebrating. 

It was only a bitter reminder of all that had transpired on the chilling evening. 

You shook your head and made for your traveling gear, there was a pharmacy a few miles down you’d long been meaning to check out. Hopefully a raid of the store would take your mind off things and reward you with some useful supplies. You glanced at the doors of your home and contemplated on whether or not you should lock it, surprisingly in the 12 months that had passed you didn’t see many people.  

Occasionally there was a passerby that glanced at the fence in home but you suspected they rather not take their chances with the ‘BEWARE OF ZOMBIES' sign you’d changed. It wasn’t like you didn’t want visitors per say, because speaking honestly, it was a bit lonely just you and your animals, but it was a peaceful life you’d take any day in comparison to the rampaging chaos that was happening in the denser populations of the world. The Cities had almost completely been taken over by the third day, which is where they suspect the disease originated in the first place so you were more than happy to be lonely in your home then in the midst of all the chaos. 

You locked the door anyways. 

Pulling a light cotton hoodie over your shoulders you trekked towards the fence peeking at the rising sun and loosening your jacket a bit. It was about 20 minutes out by foot to the pharmacy and though you planned on bringing Cookiedough along, you thought better of it. The horse was left behind for a reason, old and rickety with a small tolerance for any physical exertion ( much like yourself now that you think about it ) and although you didn’t want to admit it, she was nearing her last days. You shook your head, and picked your backpack up, glancing at the bandages around your neck in the mirror as you passed by.

Immunity was a funny thing, it should have been a blessing but nowadays it felt more like a curse. A black shadow followed your saddened figure as you trailed on the edge of the road. It was more likely for you to die before you’d come in contact with another person that would attack you but your fear got the better of you and you kept the bandages around you anyways. 

You continued walking forwards, unaware of the squishy substance that suddenly planted itself on your foot, you looked down to see a rotten apple ground into the floor. You grimaced and wiped your foot, it reminded you of the monsters that plagued the surface of the earth—just as the name suggested the beings, ‘dead’ or ‘alive' closely resembled the once appetizing fruit when it was put in a decaying state. Not much could be said for a real name of the disease however, radio was helpful but limited and most people just resorted to calling them zombies. Which worked fine for you, no matter what they were called you’d shoot them down without a second thought. 

You pulled out the miniature slip of paper holding it up as you continued navigating the road until eventually you reached the store. It was one of the nicer looking places that had thankfully been left mostly untouched by zombies and other humans that came by, you pried open the automatic doors and began searching, filling your bag with any preserved foods and or medical supplies you came across. It was almost mid day by the time you were finished, and you rushed to hurry back before it got too hot. Getting caught in a heatstroke with all this stuff in your bag really wouldn't do you any good. 

You sighed as you saw your house come into view, and the closer you got the more your heart began to pound. Footprints leading up to your door, a broken fence where the warning sign was placed and finally the busted door and missing hinges as to your house. It made your hands shake as you reached for the small pistol you'd taken in your bag. You didn’t go in through the front door, instead opting to slink through the back window you always left open, it led you into the laundry room where you could finally hear voices. 

“Hey, is it just me or does it look like someone's been living here?” one voice said, and you creeped forward on your toes, setting the bag down and looking through the small crack in the door. There were only two people in the room, both of them too distracted to notice your moving figure in the dark. 

“Nah, look the stove hasn’t been used in years, this place was probably owned by some old person who was too weak and died in the next closet over.”  he yawned and you swallowed shakily, trying to calm your breathing. There was a good chance they were armed too, more than ready for someone to attack, you couldn’t count on one of them to freeze while you tried to detain the other. 

“But what if it isn’t? What if they come back and—”

“Lord have Merrcyyyy, fine if you're so scared you can go sit back in the car with Rin, I’ll just loot the goddamned thing myself.” The voice said tiredly, shuffling past the door and into the kitchen searching through your stuff.

“No thanks, I’ll be upstairs.” Footsteps faded into the background, that was your chance! You thanked God there had been enough exercising for you in the past year, otherwise you weren’t sure you would be able to pull this off. You sat there crouched watching as the mysterious body moved around the house, stuffing their bags with belongings, your belongings completely unaware of who was watching. Just a few more steps and you were sure you’d be able to tackle him, just a few more steps and—

Suddenly there was a voice, “Barou, dude, you have to come see this!” 

Barou, thankfully, wasn’t in a rush to leave, he rolled his eyes and simply continued searching through your things. You were glad you kept the guns in the shed. “In a minute.”

The voice grumbled and you crept as close as possible to the door, waiting for the perfect moment. “Now! It’s important–”

You jumped, swinging  the door open and slamming your full body weight into the intruder, thankfully catching him by surprise enough to fiercely grip his hair and immediately cock the head of your gun to his skull, not waiting for his male counterpart to realize what was happening.

“Listen here Barou and listen closely, I haven’t got the slightest clue what it is you're doing in my house but frankly I don’t care. In a few seconds I’m going to get up off of you, that means you drop your stuff immediately and hold your hands high where I can see them, understand?” You pressed the gun a bit further into his inky strands standing up just as you had said and thankfully he complied. You held a sigh of relief, you didn’t even want to think of what would happen if he didn’t do as you said.  

Just then the voice from earlier came rushing down,  to say he was shell shocked was an understatement. You didn’t let him speak and tilted your head towards Shouei again, “Hey there, you want him alive, I suggest you follow suit. No sudden movements, no funny business. No nothing.”

You didn’t need to repeat yourself, ignoring the pale looks the two men shared, more glad at the fact he also listened. You walked in a single file line through your broken door, senses keen on your surroundings. That's when you spotted it, a large jeep parked outside littered with more people inside than you thought originally.

They broke my fence, you thought, bitter and scared as to why anyone would completely ignore the BEWARE OF ZOMBIES sign. Your thoughts were interrupted as the other man, probably scared for his and his friends life, began to speak.

“Hey miss, we’re sorry for breaking in, we didn't know anyone was living here—”

“Great well now you do, that your ride?” You said, directing your head at the car but not taking your eyes off Barou.

“Yes, but like I said, this was a mistake, we were looking for someone ya’ see, we didn’t mean no harm.”

“Maybe you should have thought of that before you broke down my fucking door.” you spat, briefly directing your attention to his face, it wasn’t as terrified as you’d like it to be. 

The man in question gulped but continued walking in the direction you were leading them, away from your house and closer to the car parked on your property. “Those your buddies?” you asked, about 10 feet away from the military truck where the participants inside seemed to finally realize what was taking them so long. About 3 more people’s heads began to peek out of the vehicle, tense and unsurprisingly a bit alarmed, but they said nothing. Watching, waiting for what would occur. You were sure they must have had weapons of their own but they couldn’t do much against the gun still held up to Barou’s head. 

“Yeah, yeah they are.” You looked at the black haired man, who had been eerily silent this whole time. You glanced between him and his partner then finally decided on what was the best course of action. “Listen, both of you, I’m an excellent shot you hear me? An excellent shot, I want you both back in that truck, and back where you came from while I wait right here, walk slowly and tell your friends there won’t be any trouble so long as you keep your distance. Now leave.” 

The men followed your command without another word, and you backed away slowly as Barou reached the car first, the other man however, seemed to linger behind. With his arms still up, he turned around to face you bravely. Your gun still in range to shoot him down if needed, you nodded your head for him to speak, curious as to what exactly he wanted to say in a situation like this. “We need your help.” 

You paused, then blinked. “What?”

The man sighed and peered back at the men still waiting in the truck, you could faintly hear the sound of someone whisper-shouting to get back here while he still had the chance. “Me–us–” he nodded to the car again. “We need your help.”

You blinked again, then finally spoke. “Help, help with what exactly?”  Your gun never left your line of vision. 

“We're looking for a cure, and I know you are too.” Now that caught your attention, if it wasn’t for the barreled weapon still in front of Isagi’s face he would have smirked smugly and grinned at the look you wore. 

You narrowed your eyes but didn’t yield your weapon, he was bluffing. “Oh really? And what makes you say that?” 

The man looked at your face then slowly reached into his pocket, careful as to not alarm you into killing him. Then, slowly slowly, he pulled out your notebook. The one kept under your bed, that was for no one to see but you. You tense even more, an uneasy feeling pooling in your gut. “How did you get that?” You gritted out, looking from it to him, itching to have it in your hands but knowing you couldn’t do much as he stood between you and the people still lingering close behind. 

“I found it upstairs, in your room I assume. Don't worry I didn’t read all of it, just the last page where….well, you said it yourself. Oh and Paris? That’s pretty ambitious of you, I’ll admit, you don’t seem the type to go for the city of–” 

“Give it back, now.” You growled, and once again Isagi was reminded of the pickle he was in. He tossed the book lightly to where your feet lay and you snatched it up before anything else could happen to it.  It was already bad enough that he and his goons were here and now he read your notebook, your private, very special notebook where you wrote to your dead parents and wished everyday you had died along with them. Great.   

“Like I said, I’m sorry, for breaking into your house, and stealing your stuff, but really that’s not why we came here anyways.” he said, taking a step closer as your gun began to lower. 

“What do you mean? Then why are you here?” you eyed him tautly. 

“Like I said, we’ve been looking for a cure to this mess someone created. Heard from a friend that  someone down this way might be the key to finding it. A 20-ish year old girl about yay high, with bandages all around her neck…(h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes, living out in the middle of nowhere. A girl that might happen to be immune?” He was even closer now, not close enough to put you in danger, but close enough that you could hear his voice soften and his eyes glaze into a sweet hopefulness. 

You looked hard into the eyes of the man, still wondering if he was being for real or not. His gaze was steeled, and even though you wanted to call bullshit and shoot him right then and there, a part of you knew he was telling the truth.

Your gun was fully lowered now. “Who-who told you all this?” your voice cracked. 

“Come with me, and I’ll tell you.” 

_____

You glanced wondrously at the ocean blue sky, breathing in the sunny July air as tree’s whipped past you. It had been three days since you began traveling with the boys, and it was…eventful to say the least. Their personalities were like oil and water for some of them, others were just plain weird and while there were some that were  friendly it was hard to get used to being with so many people at a given time. The year you have spent mostly alone seemed to take a toll on your personality, you never remembered being this antisocial. Or maybe that was your natural distrust for people that seemed to grow every passing day you thought about Sage, Amara or even those brutish pigs that had tried to kill you. Rin so far was your favorite of the 6, he didn’t say much, didn’t ask questions and for the most part kept to himself. He hardly even questioned you when Isagi first introduced you to the rest of his crew. He was currently also the person you were sitting by as Bachira, a yellow and black haired man sitting across from you tried to coax you into telling him more about where you came from.

“What did it feel like being bitten? Were you scared? Oh I bet you were, it must have been horrible having the feeling of all those creatures crawling on you.” He grinned at your scowl, teasingly reaching for your neck that was still covered by your bandages. “Can I see your scar?”

You made a face and he laughed boyishly, his creamy skin reddening into a light rose color. You turned away from him and hoisted your gun closer to your chest, this is why Rin was your favorite. Chigiri rolled his eyes and moved to whack Bachira in the face, you nodded at him appreciatively and glanced over the truck again. There were 7 of you in total, including yourself. Chigiri was a frontliner and probably the most opinionated man you’d met in your entire life. The two of you had developed a sort of dynamic, one that was akin to a sister sister relationship. He was also one of least talkative of the group, not including save for Rin who had hardly said a word the moment you got here. 

Bachira who was seated next to him was also a part of the Infantry unit, he apparently was one of the best front line soldiers back at their base but you had been yet to see it. He was the epitome of childish, and practically a walking warzone. His golden-brown eyes gleamed at you and you grimaced at the memory of him attempting to eat an entire can of unopened beans after Nagi dared him to. The thought brought you to a pair of gray-ish cold eyes, Nagi who in all his tall and lanky stature was the probably the least bothered by your presence was the most unfitting of the group you’d think. Him and Barou bickered all the time, and for living in a zombie apocalypse he was unbelievably lazy at times. He was probably your least favorite of the group, and you're not even quite sure what exactly he did, as a help. His eyes pierced yours a for a moment it seemed as if he could see right through you, the blank stare on his face nerved you to no end and you looked away before any words could come out of his mouth. 

Your eyes led you back to Rin who was on your left and Barou who was on your right. You had already contemplated Rin in your mind, and your opinions on him were mostly the same. He was quiet and you liked that. Barou was tall and brooding like everything you’d expect in a man. He was the tank of the group, in the past three days you spent with him you quickly realized he was not one to be messed with, which made it all the more surreal you had him under the barrel of your gun just a few days ago. Your opinion on Barou however always seemed to change, at first you thought he was a dick. He was somehow too pretty to be dressed in military gear with a shotgun at the ready. His hair was too perfect, his face too clean. It was strange how even at a time like this he always showed a way to make his teeth as clean as Chigiri's hair. One time you commented on it and while you weren’t exactly expecting him to be sunshine and rainbows you didn’t expect him to insult you, to your face. It was a while before your perception of him changed again, when he sped across the ground and shot an infected clean in the face as it tried to sneak behind you. He made light of his save, and you both hadn’t spoken after that but you know you didn’t need to. There was a secret mutual respect when you’d stood up to him that night, and since then things have been calm. 

That left Isagi in the driver's seat, who you supposed was the leader of all of you, and more surprisingly, a sniper. A good one at that. It was like he didn’t have to see his target in the first place, it was like he already knew. He was also the sweetest which made it all the more surprising when at the command of his voice had all 6 of them standing to attention. The 7 of you had been traveling along the road for 4 days now. It came as a shock when you had accepted the man's offer to join them on their journey, but it was more than welcome. 

You were the only immune person they knew after all. 

You didn’t leave immediately, determined on staying until Cookiedough, the caramel and sandy brown horse passed, which sadly didn’t take long. You made the men camp outside in their truck until about a week after Isagi had recruited you she finally said her goodbyes. 

You hadn't cried like that since the death of your mother and father. 

You shook your head free of the thoughts and made to pack your bags, you didn’t bring much. Some food and water just in case, a change of clothes and your notebook which held your most precious memories. Isagi had told you the 6 of them lived somewhere near here, ( and by near he meant a week by car to get to there, 3 of which had already passed more slowly then the next ) and would be taking you back to run tests hopefully tests that would succeed in finding a cure to the disease. As compensation, he promised full meals, a warm bed, hot showers and a one way ticket to France. You questioned whether or not they were actually capable of fulfilling your last request but Bachira just winked and pointed at Rin as if to say, he ‘knows a guy’.

The journey there was far from over though, this you knew, “So, [Name]...didn’t take you for a grenade sort of girl…”

You arched your eyebrow at Bachira, unamused, “A what?”

Bachira looked around the room and a ceremonious groan rippled throughout the car. “A grenade sort of girl, you seem way more like a be-mine sort of girl to me.”

You turned away disgusted, and realized why the group had groaned so predictably, he must have done this sort of thing often.  

Thankfully It wasn’t long before the 7 of you reached your destination, a tall gray building rose in front of you, there of course were a few pit stops you and the rest of the men had to make along the way to the base and this was one of them. 

Usually 2-4 people were sent out to scout the area and grab the people left in the car if needed, this time however Isagi said only 1 person was allowed to go in, and that person was him. His eyes flickered from Bachira’s to Rin’s, a knowing look crossing both their faces, the rest of the group also seemed to get the message as they all grumbled and sat back down in their seats, busying themselves with cards and charades. 

You sat back down as well, uncomfortably fidgeting in the cushion as everyone covered with one another. You felt left out, it was obvious there was some sort of unspoken code going around the group and you definitely weren't in on it. Luckily for you Bachira seemed to notice this and snaked his way over from the pitiful game of charades to fill you in. 

“Wondering what’s this all about are you?” he grinned, casually slinking an arm around your shoulders and you fought to shake him off, keen on the information he could give you. Reluctantly you shook your head yes. “I’ll tell you only if you give me a kiss.” He sneered, making duck lips at your face, you pushed his mouth away, making the mistake of keeping it there a bit too long and recoiled violently as he stuck his tongue out from his mouth to glaze over your hand. 

“Ugh! Stop it that's disgusting!” You shouted blissfully unaware of how your words really affected him, too disgusted to see his spread into a masochistic grin. 

“You wound me darling.” he said smoothly, recovering by holding his burning chest and wiping a fake tear from his eye. You rolled your eyes and moved closer to Rin who was entertaining him by shuffling a deck of cards. 

He side eyed you and stopped shuffling, watching you stare at the cards in his hands. “What.” his sharp gaze piercing your stomach. 

You looked away. “I didn't say anything…” But that was enough confirmation from him, he probably already hated you, now he thought you had a staring problem. A wash of cool air passed over the vehicle, though it did nothing to ease the ridgid atmosphere. Great, you’ve only been here a full three days and somehow managed to piss off one of the members. 

Thankfully the awkwardness in the air didn't last long as Isagi, your saving grace, came back from his short expedition carrying a mysterious black package with him. Bachira immediately stood up and took the contents, sliding the top of just a smidge then nodding at Isagi in confirmation. The black  haired man smiled and took the box back, sliding it under the seat then finally turning to face the rest of you. You didn't exactly get the best look at what was  in the box but you did get a peek as Bachira turned and saw containers of green valves, 3 to be exact. Hushed whispers were exchanged between the two, and finally Isagi’s eyes made eye contact with yours. 

You gave him an incredulous look, “Oh, right you must be confused, Rin why don't you explain it to her? We're a bit behind schedule now.”

You're not sure  if it’s because Isagi wanted to torture both you and Rin or if he simply wasn't in the mood for talking but he left for the drivers seat as soon as he got the chance, leaving you and Rin to stare awkwardly at each other before he cleared his throat to explain. 

“Trading points, Cap’ has to have someone double check the trade as precaution.” You nodded waiting for him to continue but to no avail, you supposed that was the most you would be getting out of him. Thankfully Chigiri, noticing your distress, finished for him. 

“The little green jars you saw are immunity developments, stuff like that is really valuable nowadays and even though most of them don’t actually work, Ego insists we trade for them. It’s also why only Cap’ was allowed inside, the U-Fights are really stingy about secrecy and whatnot.” Chigiri explained a bit bitterley, you were guessing the so-called developments hadn’t been all that helpful to finding an actual cure which is why you were found in the first place. 

You cocked your head cutely, jerking forward a bit as the truck began moving. “Who’s Ego?”

“Boss Man.” A voice stated and you turned towards Barou. “Run’s all the business stuff back at base, he’ll be happy to see you.”

“Oh I bet he will.” You groaned, trying not to think about all the poking and prodding they would more likely have to do before you could even get all that you were promised. 

“Don’t be scared, we won’t let anything bad happen to you.” Bachira spoke cheerily, nudging your shoulder. “Despite what it might look like, we're good people I promise.” 

Sure, tell that to the man I murdered a year ago, You deadpanned. It’s what would have come out of your mouth had you not known any better but instead you gave him a tight lipped smile and tried to ignore the loud thumping in your heart. 

Good people, yeah, whatever that means.

series masterlist / prev / next

an's ; its all intro stuffs blah blah blah fun times and boys soon

status ;; not proofread

wc ;; 5k

taglist 1/50 @egoistlino

[rat-rosemary]

In case people are wondering how close drantis are sometimes to dsmpblr and dreblr:

That cgeorge art people are reblogging? He dangly one with the caption of they want to make it a keychain if there's enough interest?In the tags of the original post they say they hate abd "do not endorse" ccGeorge LMAO.

I feel you on the "dont vet blogs" thing because like throwback to the 2nd great twitter exodus and i had people all up in my asks because I reblogged rivals art that crossed my dash and apparently OP shipped a ship twitter did NAWT like. Like. Ok. First off I saw Rivals Duo on my dash. So I reblogged Rivals Duo on my dash. Second, thats my friend (didnt you scroll and vet my blog anon? 🤨). Third, even if they werent, why do i have to scroll someones blog for 10 minutes to make sure theyre Kosher to reblog from when im just trying to look at art on my 10min break at work THATS STUPID. Fourth if youre from twitter and trying to control what tumblr does instead of adapting to tumblr i think you should fail at an attempt to crosd a busy road

Augh :[

Yeah okay so maybe there are a lot mores sucky people then what I realized :[

Even then I feel people can have odd standards for what you should veto as well

Like, for the anon who accused me of being a dranti I should be checking the blogs I interact with, but me shipping Quackity and Dream was completely fine (funniest asks ever btw, I hope that anon is doing well)

For someone else I should not be following or reblogging art from people who ship dreamnoblade (which is, in my opinion, the most obvious post-pandora ship along with Drunz. Like. The chocolate ice-cream of dsmp ships)

Even if you tried you couldn't make your blog safe for everyone, and you shouldn't try!

But yeah, people who got used to the high control environment of twt can have a hard time disconnecting from those expectations and habits, but I think most of them need time and space

[rpfisfine]

anyone else has always interpreted this line in a bicurious way or is it just me

[spinostarz]

THE WELL AND THE LIGHTHOUSE PMV/ANIMATIC

very very jean valjean centric because i love him and he deserves the world <3 im not sure if pmv or animatic would apply better to this, but either way, i hope you enjoy it!

[maxthesillyy]

thinking about. i dont know how to phrase this really but. chloe and frank.

like. when Chloe killed Frank i (, personally,) feel like her guilt from it was less because she killed Frank, and More because she Killed Someone (and their dog).

but!!! thats not to say she didnt feel guilty for killing Frank. because she definitely did. because on some level. despite everything. despite all of his shitty behavior. a part of her still cared for him. that tiny 15-17ish year old part in her still cared for him.

because that 15-17ish year old with intense abandonment issues in her only had. a small handful of people in her life that actually cared for her, and when THOSE few people aren’t even doing the best job at it— it’s no shit that Chloe’s standards for Good Friends are going to be Immensely dropped.

and so. it’s kind of like what happened with Rachel, but WAY less intense. when she found someone who didn’t hate her, and was willing to hang around her—after so so long of people hating her and not wanting to be around her— it makes sense that part of her would kinda latch onto them a little bit.

and so, even after all of the shit she’s learned he did— even when Frank starts to hate her— even when he threatens Max and her’s lives— part of her keeps remembering him as one of the few guys who stuck around when no one else did.

it’s just that. no matter how bad the person— if you’ve known someone for years, and they were one of the only nice people to you in a town where theres like. four people that are nice to you— it’s gonna hurt if you kill them. even if it was self defense. even if it was entirely their own fault— even if you two aren’t on even remotely good terms anymore.

ESPECIALLY for such a sentimental person like Chloe. taking that in consideration it makes me wonder. maybe she didn’t feel bad for killing Frank. maybe she felt bad for killing the person Frank used to be to her. but maybe she realized that That Frank already died long ago.

but yeah. im mentally ill. take everything i said with a grain of salt considering it is 12:07 AM.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

your origin story is so relatable i love it. as someone was too young to watch the original trilogy when it came out and didn't watch many cartoons or comics/superhero stuff growing up, by the time I got interested the MCU really seemed like the only worthwhile option around at first. and tbh I do commend marvel for making the avengers so fun to get into via the movies (even if the mcu doth get too much after a bit) because the more you learn about comics the more you realise that they're not the most compelling team (affectionate) in the first place so really good job. but anyway yeah had drifted into dc for a good few years and then I was shown the deadpool 3 credits (not the movie) and despite having no knowledge of the x-men, the backstage bloopers, the music and the beach divorce just really awakened something in me

i congratulate you on reading That Whole Mess i typed up thank you VJLEAKVJ BUT REAL... i actually remember catching my bro watching the first avengers movie with some friends and Vaguely getting interested then: even if i dont LOVE love the avengers now, i do thank it for being a gateway into comics as a whole :]

[supersecretnerd]

Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean

I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch

[ratatatastic]

scare the hoes more and keep yapping about ekky (& others) getting used to maffhew, it delights me. and say even more about how sasha handles this feral and sweet omega that gets dropped into his orbit. smth smth “feels like i’ve known him 10 years” or whatever vows sasha recited to the press, cameras, and god

apparently we are taking more tumblr user ratatatastic abo yap thoughts for 500 may god hear our screams up wherever he is. big man in the sky you fuckin owe me one.

i think theres so much in particular to say in concerns of 1619 and how quickly they gelled irl but even more so in an abo au

ive always enjoyed when people assign matthew stronger scents that take getting used to if you don't like it already and i know ive read a fic where his scent notes did skew towards stronger cinnamon foods/drinks

anyways on that note it wouldnt surprise me that sasha takes so easy to this spicy little omega.

Like of course he does, he smells like the pastries he used to eat back at home, the pastries he eats now because he's found an established Finnish bakery down here that makes them homemade every morning, the bakery he likes to frequent with the other Finns when he can.

Is it ever a wonder that the cute omega that sent him such a terribly sweet text when the trade news broke out (you know, after the initial excitement worn off because Sasha does chuckle at memory of the brash "Fucking, right!" that pinged on his phone the very first time from an unknown number) smells like... home... No matter all the rumours that have swirled around Matthew, the rumours Sasha has personally experienced himself playing against him...he smells nostalgic. Like Sasha could be at home right now—you know, home home—lounging outside his cottage with tea and pastries on the little table that he's set out. The warm cinnamon that wafts from the typically sterile room they've assigned for pressers smells divine, for lack of a better word. It smells indulgent. Because Sasha can't have those homely pastries all the time, what, with his training regiment.

It's why he doesn't quite believe it that Matthew's the one that's the centre of it all. He's absolutely convinced he's hallucinating because the season is about to start and he's had to cut back on all his favourite sweets as much as it pains him to but for the betterment of the team? He'd do anything. And yet despite the way he rubs at his nose to at least try to clear it, he smells that cinnamon. That cinnamon that's definitely coming from new omega they traded over who's laughing so obnoxiously at the lectern they have set up that if his scent didn't catch your attention, his loud mannerisms certainly did. His voice is practically bouncing off the walls in big loud echoes that should hurt Sasha’s ears. Emphasis on should. As it is he finds his heart melting more than it should instead.

It's been quite a long time since someone's scent has moved him this much. All the people that have, have been in his life for so long he's forgotten what it's like to feel instant scent compatibility. His nostrils are flaring and he's trying his best not to open his mouth to huff in big gulps of it because it's rather impolite to be so obviously scenting the new guy. It could be misconstrued as Sasha taking offence to the new presence in the room.

Some part of his brain is still trying to catch up to the idea that Matthew even smells at all because the first time he met him (down here for some joint offseason ice-time) he didn't particularly smell like much, if at all really. Whether it's because he put on blockers to not intrude on pack territory until he smelled more like them, or he was still on suppressants even in the summer, Sasha wasn't sure and he definitely wasn't going to ask about it.

Known him for 10 years? He feels like he's known him his whole life. But 10's a safe number, 10's a number that won't scare off this new omega, right? 10's a number that conveys "As Captain I want this to work out, I'm opening up my pack for you, I won't shun you, you're welcome here," and not "If I stick my nose in your neck right now to scent you, they're gonna have to forcibly evict me from the new home I've found in you, and it's not gonna be a pretty outcome."

It's also why he's a little nervous when Media Day is over because despite how much it dragged along in years past it practically blitzed by and now Sasha has to—

You know, properly scent the new addition. Give them the purring acceptance of their Pack leader's scent to carry with them. And it's nothing big, it's just some chaste wrist rubbing... something subtle and not too overwhelming for everyone: the pack, and the newcomer alike. It's not like Sasha is going to mouth at Matthew's neck glands. He doesn't think he can even handle that right now but that's a problem for future Sasha—for when Matthew is really part of the pack and not like a goldfish in a plastic bag being dunked into an aquarium to get used to the water temperature. He just has to rub his wrist against his, it's like basic Alpha etiquette. It'll be fine, mostly. He hopes.

And it's as anticlimactic as he thought it'd be: gentle reintroductions and reignited chatter of excitement about the new season that's about to start... maybe just with the new lingering scent of sweet and spice in the background as if someone lit up a candle without Sasha even noticing it. It's a struggle to keep his eyes from closing from how heavy they feel, from how relaxed he feels in the presence of this new omega he knows has pissed him off on several occasions as composed as he was about it.

Matthew presents his wrist in a flourish successfully managing to divert his attention back to what they're supposed to be doing all alone like this in the dressing room like this, "I'm sure you've been dying to do this huh, Cap?"

Sweat starts to break out at the back of his neck. He knows? Sasha doesn't think he's been sending off any signals that could've hinted otherwise but Sasha admits that he's well out of practise, he hasn't had to reign in his scent this much in such a long time, and maybe Matthew picked up his weird fixation—

Matthew waggles his eyebrows for extra effect an offbeat later when the joke doesn't seem to land the way he wanted it to.

Oh, thank Christ, he's just teasing him. It's a joke. He doesn't actually mean it in the way Sasha thought he meant.

"Yes. Yes, I have," Sasha chuckles in relief, shaking his head at Matthew's attempt to lighten the mood.

"10 years, or so I've heard, bud."

"You heard? Uh, listened to the..." he trails off.

"Kinda hard not to when the setup made it sound like you were in the middle of the Earth, my guy. I don't think my ears are ever gonna recover from that."

"It's the first day for everyone," Sasha lightly chastises, not particularly aggrieved at all but wanting to keep up the banter to stall for time, so he can prepare himself. Quite honestly he feels like travelled back in time to the young anxious Alpha he was breaking out into the league for the first time.

"Be gentle, I bruise easily."

"Right, gentle. I'll treat you better than my clothes on the delicate cycle."

"Is that supposed to be a line?" Matthew says in glee, his voice pitching into incredulity.

"Line like fishing?"

"Oh, come on! You know what I'm talking about! You've been in this country long enough to pick up on that!"

"Yes, yes, that."

Matthew shoves at his shoulder playfully. "Just go on and do the thing already."

"Doing the thing."

Matthew snorts but his wrist is limp in Sasha’s hold. And as much as it was a dumb joke he does feel delicate between his fingers like that. So delicate that when he rubs his own wrist against his—to transfer over their pack scent—he feels like he's going to break it if he holds onto it for too long. It's why he drops it as quick as he took it, hands scrambling to his sides in an effort to remain polite but also to get a handle on himself so his pheromones don't go haywire with the new stimulus. It's a bit of a losing battle because he knows his scent just. But he can play it off as the excitement of an Alpha being able to claim another member to his pack, it's a possessive kind of thing.

"Well, see you around! Call it a hunch but I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of each other." And the joke wasn't funny the first time, truly the equivalent of leaning on the office fax machine and going "You come here often?" to your coworkers who just want to get their work done—and just as sleazy too with the greasy grin Matthew has permanently stuck to his face but Sasha still laughs like he did the first time he heard it.

And it's only now that Matthew is gone that Sasha realises the room smells strongly of cinnamon, so potent that anyone with a working nose would be able to tell that. Like Matthew was doing his best to ease Sasha’s obvious nerves when Sasha should've been the one to calm the omega who's been uprooted from their own pack and thrown into a completely new environment, himself.

"Jesus, it reeks in here. Smells like cinnamon," Aaron wrinkles his nose, wandering back in after his own media duties were done, finding Sasha all alone in the locker rooms.

"It does?" Like he can't tell the room smells like the equivalent of someone knocking over a Yankee Candle into an open fire.

"Yeah, like an awful lot." Aaron scrunching up his nose, trying to fight off an incoming sneeze. "It's strong," he says without thinking, swallows before his eyes shift over to Sasha and then to the floor, "Not bad just... strong..." The I can get used to it is left unspoken between them.

"I like it," Sasha admits because if Aaron is confessing to things without thinking then he might as well too. They've known each other long enough.

"I can tell." Aaron snorts, "You reek too."

Sasha lets out a questioning little noise, tilts his head to the side as he silently urges Aaron to continue.

"You have no idea what cinnamon and cardamom smell like together, do you? I feel like I walked into a bakery when I should be at the gym right now."

"Is that bad?"

"For you? No, of course not," Aaron's eyes soften, and while his scent wasn't anywhere close to abrasive, it does lighten up just a tad bit in the presence of his pack Alpha. "For me? I'd rather dunk my head in a bucket of coffee beans." A bit of an exaggeration on Aaron's part but the wry grin he has on really adds to the fact he's just joking—just a little, maybe there's some truth hidden in there. He knows how Aaron is, the way he tries to downplay anytime he bristles about something. Peace and vibes, and all that.

So Sasha can joke as well, "Forsy's stall is over there," and motions his head towards it across the room.

"Oh, hilarious."

"If I was funny I would say jock."

"You know, what? I think I will hit the gym today, thanks for reminding me."

"Mmm, anytime." And when Aaron's half out the door he adds, "Ask the staff where they put the jerseys we used today!"

"I'm going! To the gym!" he echoes back, not bothering to turn around as he shuffles down the hall in a hurry, and decidedly not going in the direction of the gym. It's not surprising when he hears chatter pick up and shoes scuffing briskly into the direction of the laundry rooms.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

danny talking about how resentful she became when nobody who she self-sacrificed for cared when she died and then leaving kirsch with laura and carmilla bc "if he stays with me i might lose control again and kill him" kinda confirms my thoughts abt both newly-turnedness and anger making vampires more vampiry

but also makes me think that in more usual circumstances, when the dean turned vampires like carmilla and mattie, that shes really nice at the start to temper any of that unruly anger

[destinywillowleaf]

how to go from a one-shot/conversation spawned from thinking too much about an unseen father to more than a dozen fic ideas and an overarching narrative about family heritage (and the generational trauma that comes with it), the importance of communication, and how all lives touch other lives to create something anew and alive in one easy step

[questionable-doctor]

someone help this weird dog broke into my house

[saminthea]

Is it appendicitis or just fibromyalgia and a stomach bug? Guess we'll see in the morning!