#‘they hate us all equally’ they fucking don’t actually lmao

[dichromaticdyke]

you go into the notes of posts like this and it very quickly turns into a bunch of people denying transmisogyny exists like try not to be annoying for like five fucking seconds

[monstersinthecosmos]

I read your answer, where did you say "Pandora is his actual type and Armand was his pet"

But how could Armand be just a pet for him? He is one of only three of his turned children. Marius speaks of him as the greatest love (along with Pandora). Although I see some hypocrisy in this. Marius loves no one as much as Pandora. But certainly more than just a pet

Well !

Babe the thing is that, I said what I said and it’s okay if you don’t agree!!! And I’m gonna take this opportunity to double down. (Assuming that you’re asking in good faith and not to pick on me for my analysis lmao please this fandom has traumatized me too much.)

(((TLDR the text never treats Armand like he’s Marius’s equal but also I never said that being a pet was a bad thing.)))

I want to start by talking about the concept of MAKER in VC and how canon tells us that vampires exist outside of human social constructs, including traditional family roles right? Like for example, the moment Gabrielle is turned, she ceases to be Lestat’s mother. 

But with Marius I think a lot about how he’s crafted a persona for himself, and tries to operate in a very rigid set of rules. And part of this is like, how determined he is to live by stoicism even when he’s a mess on the inside, but I also think about in TVL when he says that thing about how it’s easier to just knock a glass on the floor, and how he goes out of his way to appear more human and retain human gestures. 

So like, in the way a MAKER is kinda like, a parent/lover/companion/something too big for our tiny human minds to comprehend. We still get a Marius who is determined to be a father & mentor, and I think a lot about how his need for stoicism and humanity is probably also expressed with his need to be the paterfamilias. 

I’ve been also thinking a lot lately about Bad Fathers in Media—specifically people like Tony Soprano, Logan Roy, Roderick Usher—and how the toxic patriarchy affects their relationships with their sons. Tony Soprano in particular is one who resonates with me a lot when I think about Marius—Tony often indulges in anger because he enjoys being feared (he thinks it’s respect but it’s usually fear), and that’s a bit different on a material level from Marius “anger is too pathetic” de Romanus but they’re both sort of obsessed with the idea of stoicism and trying to be a ~ strong silent type ~ on the outside, even when they’re actually quite messy and emotional underneath.

But wait — put a pin in this for a second. We’ll come back to this, and the concept of fathers and sons. I want to pause real quick to swerve to clarify:

Armand being a pet isn’t a bad thing.

It wasn’t “pet (derogatory) 😒” —  it’s “pet (adorable creature that I care for) 🥰”.

Here’s the thing about MARIMAND if you will (I hate all the VC ship names oh my god theyre all hideous lmao) but like OKAY OKAY. THE THING IS. WHAT ARE WE HERE FOR IF WE’RE NOT INTO THE FUCKEDUPEDNESS ? 

Like I’m not telling anyone how to enjoy a ship, please have fun ! Do you! But to ME? That inter-species friction and 1,517 year age gap is like WHAT THE DYNAMIC IS ABOUT, THAT’S THE FLAVOR BABY!!! Anne Rice herself even said the book was about “a boy’s love for a monster” !!

WHAT’S THE POINT OF MONSTERFUCKER EROTICA IF HE’S NOT A MONSTER LOL

And YEAH I get that not everyone wants to read TVA as a monsterfucker story. That’s okay! It also reads as a savior fantasy. But I enjoy the messiness of it—I LIKE that Marius is an apex predator & ghoulish ancient thing. I like that it’s problematic. I LOVE that Marius really does love him, though, amidst all these other themes. I find it SO compelling.

But I never once said that Marius doesn’t love him. Of course Marius loves him. What I said is that he loves Armand the way we love a pet. I would fucking die for my cats. I regularly burst into tears looking at my cats because I love them so much. But they’re fucking cats lmao.

I never for one minute forget that Marius isn’t human. He’s operating on a whole different wavelength with different points of references and ethics and life experiences. Like, people get so hung up on Armand being 17 and IT WOULD BE JUST AS BAD IF HE WAS 18 OR 25 OR 30 LOL. A frail little human cannot comprehend !!!!!

What’s interesting with Marius’s fledglings though is that he tends not to treat them as equals. Like I think you could read TVA thinking: Once Marius turns him, they’ll be real partners. But no, they stick to their mentor/mentee, dom/sub, father/son roles. We don’t have tons of examples in canon of other maker/fledgling relationships but it’s not a coincidence that Roman Patriarch Marius maintains status over his fledglings. Even once Armand is a vampire, he’s still not Marius’s equal, and Marius’s age and power are still held over him. 

BUT LIKE.

That’s weird, right?

I MEAN THE DARK GIFT IS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE but it’s interesting to me that Lestat & Gabrielle’s relationship completely dissolves once she’s a vampire, but Marius & Armand’s doesn’t.

(Sidebar that like, I think there’s also ways to acknowledge that if we think their relationship is good that it’s OKAY for them to maintain these roles because Armand WANTS to be his sub but let me focus on my point here. We should also make time to talk about diegetic BDSM and whether or not it’s appropriate to use a D/s framework for this discussion if the roles are baked into the text and not a choice for the characters and not a game they are agreeing to but that’s for another post.)

So back to the thing about fathers.

I’ve been thinking a lot about bad father characters, specifically Logan Roy and Tony Soprano (also bad mother Margaret Chenowith) and the impossible standards they give their children. Logan and Tony are both men who are disappointed in their sons for being soft, because they were able to provide better lives for their children. They both spoil their sons with all the material wealth that they did not have in their own lives. For Logan we see how badly he resents his kids—Kendall even accuses him of being jealous of what they have—and for Tony he seems to be at a loss on how to parse his feelings. Part of him literally hates AJ for being such a whimsical little fuckup, and at the same time he wants to protect that part of AJ and doesn’t even WANT AJ to follow in his footsteps. Still, he hates to see that AJ is spoiled with no work ethic, and doesn’t know how to set an example for him.

Everything in Venice is designed to spoil Armand with all the things Marius didn’t get—it’s such a specific & deliberate opposite of how Marius was turned. And I think him seeing Armand as a pet puts a little bit of distance between the hurt he’d feel if he thought of Armand as a true son, or even an equal. He doesn’t have to resent Armand for having it easier than he did, but also doesn’t have to feel extremely betrayed by Armand fitting in with the cult. Like, let’s never 4get that by the time Marius catches up with Armand, Armand is right at home and thriving with them. A CULT? THE THING THAT KILLED ME????? Marius has no idea what the fuck they did to him, he just knows that Armand settled in just fine and has discarded everything that Marius tried to teach him. 

I think these roles are appropriately all muddled because it’s VC—like we said, the No Social Constructs series—so like, how do we compare the words SON and PET and FLEDGLING and SUB, I’m not sure. But my point is that he’s never seen or treated Armand as an equal, and perhaps never even a full adult person. 

ARE THESE IDEAS CONFLICTING? A little. But that’s okay. Am I incoherent and ill-equipped to tackle this analysis or is it because Marius is not a consistent person and never quite lives up to the ideal he’s trying to be? Does he want Armand to be his pet but secretly has feelings? Does he fail at being a father figure? Is he brushing off his Big Big Emotions so that he doesn’t have to admit how wrecked and destroyed he is and how badly his feelings were hurt? Idk man. I’m sure you can send me another anon to tell me I’m wrong. 

I wonder sometimes if like, keeping Armand at this lower status (like a pet) actually protects Armand from Marius’s ire and disappointment. Marius is sort of a father, but sort of not. He’s crafted a role for himself that is never all the way sincere, and it allows him some space to protect his own feelings of betrayal and disappointment when it comes to Armand. Marius is also classically bad at following his own rules, and never quite sticks the landing on the people he’s trying to be. 

I can imagine a version of events where Armand does gain some ground with Marius, maybe pays his dues and matures into someone that Marius trusts and respects, but that’s not the version of events we get in canon. Marius turns Armand, Armand remains his pupil, they visit Kiev and Marius is jealous of Armand’s father, they make it all the way to the raid without Marius ever confiding about The Parents. Even in the present day, during a dispute, Marius tells Armand he has the savage & ignorant soul of a child. Even in the present day, Marius won’t stop calling him Amadeo!!!! 

And like!!!!! It feels like Marius is more upset about Santino wronging him by ruining his home and taking his toys than he is about what Santino did to ARMAND. It’s more about Marius’s own feelings and possessions than it is about Armand’s own feelings and experience of what happened. AN ARMAND FRIDGING, IF YOU WILL. 

Anyway.

By never seeing Armand as a complete person, Marius never has to feel threatened by him. We see this in toxic parents a lot. Like, I want you to be good, but I’m insecure if you’re better than me. Or I can never fully respect your feelings because I always see you as a child and not a fully grown adult. And the truth is that Marius is actually quite threatened by Armand, on the inside. He is very hurt. He cares what Armand thinks of him. He’s relieved at the end of BCtu when he assumes that Armand wants to open his heart again. 

So idk like. I think the books end with a little bit of a hope for them; we see a lot of growth and self-acceptance from Marius in the last book and it’s reasonable to assume that he and Armand might have a long chat and nice long cry and work it out. I don’t think it’s completely set in stone, but it’s nice to think about! A nice happy ending. And I wonder if this is when Marius finally takes Armand seriously and listens to what he has to say without demeaning him! 

Am I gonna add 2000 more words to this point by tying it what the whole like “I fear him because I could love him again” thing in TVA means? No I’m not. But like. Again! It’s okay to be a pet, I think Armand liked being his pet. :) 

[skyfallscotland]

My final Onyx Storm theories, in bullet point form, because it's been fun but I'm tired LMAO. Some of these contradict each other, you'll notice, but I feel like they're equally possible (or maybe I'm just delulu!) 🤪

Below the cut, because it's long and some people aren't interested in being on the delulu train (fair). No spoilers for anything past Iron Flame below, though if you follow any links there might be some for the first four chapters of OS, from the preview 🖤🐉✨

· Xaden Liarson is a full inntinnsic, sorry not sorry 😌

· Xaden's going into the rybestad chest and Bodhi will pretend to be him (a theory since Jan '24)

· Xaden's mother is venin. Read more on this horrifying thought process here 😬

· Violet is not a truthsayer—I'm not sold on what her second signet is, but my guess is either a full inntinnsic (more likely because rebecca said it would be underwhelming) or precognition (my og guess! and my wish, pls rebecca! a crumb for me?)🔮

· Violet is going to go to the venin at some point in the book, hence the tagline "brave the dark" because she's ride or die for Xaden and he will still be venin!

· We'll see more of the magic-amplifying gemstones in Poromiel 💎

· We're only going to Poromiel, the Isle Kingdoms will be next book 🗺

· Professor Grady is venin. Here's why I think so.

· Naolin is alive and I'm going to fucking hate Tairn for it for knowing and lying to our girl 😤

· Rhiannon or Bodhi will die 💀

· If it's Rhiannon I bet Xaden kills her. He's absolutely killing someone by accident guaranteed 💯

· Violet’s dad’s name will be in her mother’s journals and that’s how we’ll learn it and I'm betting it’s either Sam (like Samael) or Adam, for the biblical connotation.

· Oh also, he was murdered ☠️🍄

· Viscount Tecarus is working with the venin, he's sus as fuck.

· Viscount Tecarus hamstrung the Tyrrish rebellion by betraying them to Navarre (because he's working with the venin).

· We get to meet Drake!! I hope he's as handsome as we believe 🥺

· Sloane finds out Aaric is Cam and feels betrayed (which breaks my heart) 💔

· Speaking of Aaric, my bet for his signet is distance wielding 💨

· Brennan (the ASSHOLE) is a traitor. I mean, he's already a traitor in my eyes, but I also think he's going to turn out to be a bad guy. Super sus 😠

· Xaden gets jealous of Halden whether he's Vi's ex or not—because jealousy is delicious in minimal amounts and I think Rebecca will go there. I'm not sure that he's Violet's ex though, because that age gap is...dubious...

· I think maybe Garrick is an empath if we're following that Chradh means 'pain' and Chradh is more sensitive to runes. I like that for him. Big bear, feels feelings. Also, there are no horses in his stable. He's a liar! (And he loves Imogen)

· Andarna's den are from the Isle Kingdoms and we won't be seeing them until the next book. I actually think this book might end with Vi sailing off from some Poromish port to find them, TOG vibes ⛵️

· I think the Fables of the Barren 'demonises dragons' because Andarna's den simply do not care and will refuse to help. They could have put more wards up around other areas but they just dipped, so 🤷‍♀️

· Dain is a good guy.…..that's not a theory, I just wanted to remind you all 😇

· PS. I haven’t shared my theory for how veninism will be cured if it is cured at all, because I don’t think it will be happening in this book, but also because I want to use it in my fanfic and if I can keep it a secret until then, all the better 🤣

[cybersteal]

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕀𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕧𝕚𝕖𝕨: 𝕍𝕚𝕔𝕖𝕣𝕠𝕪

Tagged by @dreamskug and subsequently ripped off inspired by his, @lokiina’s, @nightcityace’s & @arcandoria’s creative take on it.

V: Hey, sorry I’m- Interviewer: Late? V: Only by thirty minutes, can't be that big of a deal. Interviewer: Maybe it is-

V: Okay, well, I'm here now, on a Friday night, instead of drinking myself stupid like I wish I was. Go ahead and ask your questions.

ɴɪᴄᴋɴᴀᴍᴇ:

V: V. Interviewer: That’s it? V: Yup.

ɢᴇɴᴅᴇʀ:

V: Male.

ꜱ���ᴀʀ ꜱɪɢɴ:

ʜᴇɪɢʜᴛ:

V: Six feet. Interviewer: Actually? V: Does this look like a face that would lie to you?

ᴏʀɪᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ:

V: You first. Interviewer: Excuse me? V: Hah! Relax, choom, just trying to lighten the mood! Jeez. I’m Pan. Equal opportunity for all. Mostly me.

ɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ / ᴇᴛʜɴɪᴄɪᴛʏ:

V: I was born in SoCal, but my parents are both from Mexico. I have a…complicated relationship with my Latino heritage, since it wasn’t really somethin’ that my parents took the time to share with me in detail, or my siblings. Never had the chance to ask why, but after comin’ to Night City, I realized I kinda missed out on a lot growing up.

ᴅᴏɢ ᴏʀ ᴄᴀᴛ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴ:

V: Well, I have a cat at home. One of those hairless ones. But I did always want a dog. Interviewer: Oh? What kind? V: Xoloitzcuintli.

ꜰᴀᴠᴇ ꜰʀᴜɪᴛ, ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ, ꜰʟᴏᴡᴇʀ, ꜱᴄᴇɴᴛ:

V: Whoa, whoa, slow down, Jesus. Uhh…first one was-? Interviewer: Fruit. V: Right. I like grapes. The purple ones. Interviewer: Why purple? V: Shit, I dunno. They taste better? Interviewer: Heh. Yeah, fair enough. Season? V: I love summer. Life slows down a little, people take more time to relax. I don’t mind the heat, neither, ‘cause I can just go for a swim whenever, or go for a drive with the windows down. Cools me just fine. Interviewer: Preem. V: I like those orange poppy’s that grow all over the Badlands. California poppy’s I think they’re called.

Interviewer: And for your favorite scent? V: Right – probably amber. I've used the same brand of amber-heavy cologne for years. Oh, and I really like that one specific brand of tobacco my mom smoked. Interviewer: What brand was that? V: Can’t recall. Somethin’ imported.

ᴄᴏꜰꜰᴇᴇ, ᴛᴇᴀ ᴏʀ ʜᴏᴛ ᴄʜᴏᴄᴏʟᴀᴛᴇ:

V: Coffee. Double shot. Sometimes triple, if I’m doin’ a long gig. Interviewer: Christ. V: Hey, merc work ain’t easy. It’s that or synthcoke. Interviewer: I’m scared to ask the next question…

ᴀᴠᴇʀᴀɢᴇ ʜᴏᴜʀꜱ ᴏꜰ ꜱʟᴇᴇᴘ:

V: Yikes…like 5? If I’m lucky. Interviewer: I’m not at all surprised. V: The fuck is that supposed to mean?

ɴᴜᴍʙᴇʀ ᴏꜰ ʙʟᴀɴᴋᴇᴛꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱʟᴇᴇᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ:

V: No, no. Hold on. I wanna know why you’re not surprised. Do I got bags under my eyes or somethin’? Interviewer: Actually, no. V: Nova. Interviewer: You got suitcases.

V: You’re fine, choom. I appreciate the banter. I don’t need to sleep with any blankets though. Interviewer: Really? Why not?

V: Sub-dermal armor. Got a bunch of other stuff you can’t see as well – keeps me runnin' hot, all the time.

ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴛʀɪᴘ:

V: Aw, shit. There’s so many places. If I had to pick, I guess…Havana. Interviewer: Cuba. You into history? V: Nah, choom. Beaches.

ꜰᴀᴠᴇ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ:

V: Mad Max. Interviewer: You don’t think that’s a little…stereotypical? V: Does it look like I care? Me and my sister used to pretend we were members of the MFP and annoy the hell out of our brother. I called him nothin' but Toecutter for two years. He hated it.

ʀᴀɴᴅᴏᴍ ꜰᴀᴄᴛ:

V: If you lick a person’s elbow when they’re not looking, they won’t feel it. Interviewer: …huh. Misty: Oh, V… V: It was the first thing that popped into my head, okay, I panicked-

This was a lot of fun to make tbqh. He's such a gonk - that ADHD brain keeps him moving around and fidgeting 24/7 even without the help of caffeine or stims and boosters, and he can talk about himself for hours, the narcissistic dickhead.

Shoutout to my bestest choombatta @klept0kid you deserve to have your name attached to your masterpiece lmao.

tags: @chooh2 @pinkyjulien @meltingangels @ouroboros-hideout @ne0n-rust @netripper @wilxfyre @klept0kid @glitchinginthegarden @nightcxty @shimmer-like-agirl @noirapocalypto @katsigian @wanderingaldecaldo @cyberpunkaddict @elvenbeard @wraithsoutlaws

[polyvinylist]

so the dust has settled now.

tw// us politics, bigotry, nick fuentes

election ‘24 is over, and it seems he’s doing exactly what we all said he would. exactly what everyone was calling us crazy for saying he would do.

and what is the rhetoric about?

how “the left has failed men.”

barring how we’re making the assumption that the democrats are the left (lmao), i feel like we give this too much credit here. i genuinely am of the opinion that a lot of men just actually hate women or don’t see them as people. we’re seeing this now with the “your body my choice” shit. all it took was some weedy little gremlin on twitter to say something like that, boom. a massive anti-woman movement explodes overnight.

here’s the thing. the boomer mentality of raising boys to be little sociopaths never really went away, it just got painted over. what we’re seeing in maga zoomers is that entitlement finally coming to the forefront. yeah man, sorry, you were only given a little bit less than your daddy and granddaddy got. here’s your equal attention candidate, now go blow up democracy forever.

you ask them about why they hold the beliefs they do, and you get a lot of “you told me i was evil, i just wanted to be left alone, and you came for my hobbies because we couldn’t even have that.”

seriously?

i have no fucking empathy for these people, and neither should you. they’re a bunch of sad, scared little boys who are throwing a tantrum and breaking everything because star wars is woke now or whatever. fuck them.

here’s the thing

trump didn’t gain any votes meaningfully. the dems just lost a bunch. we know who’s taken what side at this point. why are we gunning for claimed territory?

the left never “failed” men. the democrats failed everyone else. they tried capitulating to a demographic that would have never in a million years have voted for them. minimum 18 years of male socialization coupled with andrew tate brain worms has resulted in a non-negligible portion of men that see themselves as living in a world that owes them everything. we cannot change their mind for them, that has to come from them.

this is what you do over the next four years.

you’re going to be hearing a lot of disgusting things from men for a while. nick fuentes’ bullshit was only the tip of the iceberg. if you are male or even male presenting, i beg of you, call this shit out. make men ashamed again. make sexists afraid to speak out again. for the good of everyone else in this country.

and maybe accept that some people are just political lost causes.

[im-out-of-it]

part four of season one, episode twelve MALEC

37. THE MOST ICONIC SECOND OR MAYBE THIRD OF FOURTH SCENE IN THIS ICONIC EPISODE AND OMG HAVE I SAID ICONIC TO MUCH????? ITS NOT MY FUCKING FAULT MAGNUS BANE IS ICONIC

37. MAGNUS IS IN FIRE IN THE FASHION DEPARTMENT

38. Magnus is like while hearing y’all speak about swords and shit is fun, but why am I here?????

39. Magnus: why am I here? there is a specific man I just got in a fight with that I particularly don’t want to see 😭

40. indeed it is mags

41. don’t you hate when you get into a fight with your not boyfriend but wanting to be boyfriend and then he has the audacity to show up in his place of establishment????? the fucking nerve of Alec

42. WELL THAT IS AWKWARD AS HELL!!!!!! Alec hands on his hips, straight (I’m sorry lmao) up not having a good time

43. Magnus is all like see????? THIS IS WHY I DID NOT WANT TO COME HERE. okay but imagine having to see the person you want to be with’s fiancé??????? like I’d be running out of dodge or whatever (I’m sorry American idioms confuse the fuck out of me so hopefully I used that right)

44. ALEC CAN BARELY LOOK MAGNUS IN THE FACE

45. IM SORRY I KNOW ITS JUST AN EPISODE BUT IT MAKES ME SAD

46. HE LOOKS SO SAD LIKE I LOVE YOU ALEC BUT CAN YOU STOP HURTING MAGNUS PLEASE

47. Alec: not only do I get into a fight with he’s not my boyfriend but I want him to be but he has the audacity to show up looking like this??????? why do good things happen to fucking wonderful people????

48. can we all agree that Alec looks equally as sad and hurt? it’s easy to point fingers and be like hey Alec is hurting Magnus but if he doesn’t think he has choice until he’s actually at the altar, that’s Alec’s choice. and it’s easy to point at Magnus and be like well he’s just pushing Alec too much- but considering this is much better than the book, I love it.

plus Magnus could’ve been like you need to come out alec and if you don’t, you don’t love me. and this is why I will always approve of the no fake dating or sneaking around.

THEY ARE BOTH SAD AND ITS OKAY

49. also Alec’s eye roll game is on point as it usually is ✨🔥 he looks so vexed but this isn’t our normal Alec vexed. this is Alec is vexed he can’t have Magnus and it’s new vexed so let’s take it in

ok ok ok I stopped at 50 for now but I have like 8 more I think that need editing so y’all will have that in a few hours. it’s a promise I SWEAR

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

JJK MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD:

3

2

1

i found this in my notes app and was like yeah i could post it. why not?

(BELOW)

My vision of what Megumi might say if he wrote a eulogy for Gojo and was probably mega sleep deprived:

I don’t think he’d willingly make any sort of public speech. this is quite ooc. Though honestly I think Megumi would agree with some of these points i don’t think he’d actually verbalise them. but fuck it. He isn’t real anyways lmao.

Gojo Satoru is not ‘The Strongest’. He was I guess at some point but not anymore because… well… he’s dead. I think Gojo would appreciate some jokes in this speech thing… but comedy and public speaking are two things I’m not great at and generally avoid so bare with me.

Gojo was a teacher, a mentor… whatever you want to say his job was he was really shit at it because he was so good at everything that teaching anything step by step was almost impossible. Somehow, he did well enough since i’m here talking to you guys and you guys are here listening.

Gojo, in general, pissed me off and I made sure he was aware of it. He was annoying in a sibling way. An older brother who was better, faster, stronger. He wasn’t around much when I was younger and calling him a parental figure would be a lie since when we first met he was basically as old as i am now. which is… weird… very weird… because back then he was an adult in my brain.

Knowing what I know now… about Gojo and my biological father as well as reflecting on what Gojo would call ‘Megumi’s Teenage Angst Era’, I’m surprised I didn’t end up the same way as my father.

(Megumi has to actually try not to laugh here. No one else finds this funny but Yuji gives a forced awkward laugh because he feels bad.) (Maki probably laughs a bit)

For some reason, this overpowered guy who could literally have the world do what he pleased because no one could stop him decided to be a teacher. What a dumbass? Seriously. Or… I mean… I guess I’m a dumbass for not seeing how much he chose to do to help us. Not only us as a collective, but as individuals.

I don’t really know what else to say except the fact that he cared. Do you know how important that is? When you’re a kid and no one gives a shit about you and you’re alone it sucks and it’s scary but then some tall dumbass with stupid white hair comes into your life and you can’t get rid of him… no matter how hard you try. A guy who can’t really cook or take you to school in the mornings. A guy who sometimes appears at the apartment you live at that he payed for. A guy who somehow manages to show up when you need him. No matter how hard I tried to push Gojo away he was always just… there. Well… not anymore but you get the point.

It’s quiet without him. That’s the biggest difference. I enjoy silence. I like being alone and by myself and I definitely make that clear to everyone I know. Gojo obviously chooses- chose to ignore this. It’s stupid… but sometimes I expect him to pull a stupid stunt and pop out of a box saying it was all a prank. I feel like he’s just one hallway away from disturbing any peace and quiet that settles over the rubble we pretend isn’t around us. But he’s not. He’s dead.

(Megumi becomes aware that he is actually speaking out loud in front of a group of people and not just to himself. He quickly gets back to the rough script he has on the scrap paper before him)

Gojo made so many of us feel like we have a purpose in life. Because when no one else believed in you he’d always make that infuriatingly stupid smirk and then say something equally as annoying and wise like ‘the only thing holding you back is yourself’ or ‘i know you have potential’ or even just ‘you’re doing great. keep going’. Honestly, it pissed me off because he was usually right. Not that i’d ever admit that to him. Not that… not that i really can admit it to him anymore.

Im tired. We’re all tired and I hate public speaking. I hope you didn’t expect me to go on about his achievements or whatever because then I think you either don’t know me or you never knew him.

[onlyhereforangst]

I don’t go here but you’ve mentioned chenford isn’t great. Do I know what Chenford is? No. Do I still know they broke up? Yes.

Pls share the fandom lore and ur thots 🎤

ok so.

chenford, or lucy chen & tim bradford- former rookie & training officer, respectively. the actual characters have been written so fucking phenomenally i barely have words (she says as if she isn’t about to just. go off). they have managed to truly incorporate authentic human flaws and emotions and decision-making into these characters which have, across six seasons, played out for gorgeous individual & paired character arcs. like they are GREAT are they in a great spot? no. but they are FANTASTIC.

now.

if you were to ask the fandom that same question. excuse me while i die laughing 💀 unfortunately the strikes really helped a large majority of the chenford fandom to twist canon into barely recognizable fanon and now that canon is back and progressing as it absolutely narratively should people are losing their gd minds. deactivating accounts, claiming their done with the show, touting that they’ve been manipulated a bold face lie if you have critical thinking skills but i digress. there’s a select few of us having the time of our damn lives, feeling blessed to have such good writing on a procedural????? of all things. unheard of. truly.

so yeah the fandom is Something because who doesn't enjoy a feast of delicious angst? i mean lucy cannot stop inserting herself into every situation, even her boyfriend who has repeatedly asked her to not because he is trying to protect her (this is it's own separate problem) but literally flinging yourself around outright screaming at your significant other is just. not it. i speak from experience 💀 this is not how you get someone to healthily tell you what's bothering them to the point of tears multiple times. its like if lucy isn't the default hero she just cannot handle? its insane and beautiful because its her tragic flaw coming to a glorious, screeching climax. AND meanwhile??? so is tim's!!!! his loyalty to a tragic fault got him in a bind and he doesn't know what to do and can't handle and thinks protecting the one he loves by shutting her out is the way to be most loyal to HER because suddenly he doesn't feel he deserves her so he's going to break his own heart since lucy was too polite to do it.

anyways this storyline has been blessedly built up with undertones and crumbs since literally the end of season 4 and the fandom acts like it was a total blindside. lmao honeys. have you watched the show??? plus its been teased in interviews for over a year i can't 😭

both characters have a LOT of growing and self-discovery to happen individually before they can even begin to consider being in a relationship. not when that relationship had been built on a foundation of subordinate-superior. that *shockingly* doesn't equate to a romantic relationship of equals and guess what?! it had its ramifications!!! miscommunication trope my beloved you slayed.

ok that was surely more than you wanted seek but a million voice notes to the like 2 people that have been calling this storyline with me since the beginning and the vibrating still isn't out of my system!!! cheers to the hate anons i'm sure to get if anyone takes the time to read this 🍻

[faejilly]

hello!! absolutely adore your writing <3 no worries at all it not, but may i request an alternate pre-series meeting in canon / canon-adjacent where valentine is actually dead? always very curious about how malec’s relationship might change if they met and started dating Not in the middle of a really intense war lmao, so i thought maybe their first meeting would be a good starting point? but don’t sweat it if this doesn’t strike the fic muse <33

asdfjklgh thank you! so this MORE THAN struck the fic muse, but I got distracted by a tangent as to how it all Got Very Different™️and have not actually introduced Malec to each other as of yet but if you'd like some Magnus going what the fuck? at the Clave actually being competent this will hopefully be entertaining. AND ISTG I will get to Malec meeting! Eventually?

A familiar flare lit up his apothecary, and Magnus reached out to catch the fire message. The flames sparked brighter, and he blinked away the after-images as something heavier than he'd expected solidified between his fingers.

A single sheet of paper, cleverly folded up to resemble an envelope and keep the message inside; there was the unfortunately familiar black curl of a rune along the edges.

Magnus grimaced.

It was probably some horrifying form letter designed to intimidate him into something that was not remotely his problem, but he was going to have to clean up regardless. Shadowhunters didn't request things, they ordered, and brow-beat, and the only reason they got away with it was because they treated everyone equally terribly, including themselves, and to be quite fair to their militaristic grand-standing, the world was continuing to not be overrun by demons, so it seemed to be working for them.

Even Valentine hadn’t made much of a dent in their self-righteous arrogance. The Lightwoods hadn’t lost possession of the Institute they’d killed to get, buying clemency with their children, from what he’d heard, which was even worse than typical nephilim parenting. Despicable, ev–

He blinked. That wasn't the New York Institute's watermark, it was the Inquisitor's.

He tilted it to let the light from the windows spill across it, but that was very clearly the silhouette of a Demon Tower behind two crossed blades, not the broken stone the Clave had required the New York Institute to use after the Uprising to signify its failure to uphold their so-called sacred duties.

He huffed out a breath in not quite a sigh, and felt a frown starting to form between his brows. It was easier to deal with Inquisitor Herondale and her people than the Lightwoods. (She at least hated Valentine as much as the downworld.) But that didn't mean a formal letter was likely to be a good thing. Whatever had happened in the aftermath of Valentine's attempted coup had been kept very quiet behind Alicante's borders, and everything the downworld got to see had returned to business-as-usual.

He rolled his eyes, because nephilim, but ignoring one of their summons made them even more petty and obnoxious, so he turned it over to unfold.

And stopped again upon seeing how it was addressed.

High Warlock of Brooklyn Senior Scholar of the Spiral Labyrinth Ambassador of the Accords The Right Hon. Magnus Bane

They'd used a fountain pen and written in proper uncial calligraphy and if he hadn't known that the magic for fire messages didn't work on animal skin, he might have thought they'd used actual parchment rather than what must instead be a very high quality paper stock.

"Huh." He peered down at the letters, trying to think if he'd ever seen a nephilim address a notice to a downworlder in the same formal terms they used amongst themselves. And then almost dropped the whole damn thing when he realized that the initials scribbled across the fold in lieu of the wax seal that would have prevented the fire message from activating properly were IWH. And in the exact same calligraphy as the address.

"What the fuck." He spoke aloud, louder than he'd expected or intended, almost loud enough to startle himself even as he flung the whole thing out and away.

He watched as it fell to the floor, and he stared at it.

It still just looked like paper.

It had to just be paper, the rune to send it wouldn't have worked otherwise, but High Inquisitor Imogen Whitelaw Herondale had written on that with her own hand and sent it to Magnus as if he was an equal and what in all seven hells was that about?

He stepped sideways, unable to convince himself to look away from those initials even as his fingers scrabbled across his desk in search of normal paper and pen to send a message of his own.

Ragnor, could you please indulge me with your thoughts for a moment?

He'd half expected he wouldn't get an answer, not even another fire message or a call on the phone in the other room; Ragnor had been even more of a hermit than usual since the Uprising. (Not that Magnus could fault him for that. If he wasn't a High Warlock he probably would have disappeared into the countryside somewhere as well.) But instead he felt the familiar press of Ragnor's magic against his wards as a portal opened almost immediately in the foyer.

"Apothecary!" Magnus called out, still staring at the paper on his floor.

He heard footsteps, felt Ragnor's magic approach, could even see the shadow stretching towards him when Ragnor paused in the doorway. "Ah, you got it too?"

That finally made Magnus blink, the hold of the strange message broken. He turned his head and lifted his eyebrows.

Ragnor shook his head. "I think you need to experience it for yourself."

Magnus snorted, but stepped forward, picked up the paper, and this time he unfolded it and began to read.

And then read it again.

And again, even as Ragnor came to stand beside him.

"What the fuck," he repeated.

Ragnor grunted, apparently not having any more idea than he did.

"Do you think it's real?" Magnus asked, and he could hear the almost plaintive whisper of something he couldn't pretend wasn't hope in his own voice.

"Only one way to find out." Ragnor's voice was dry, but gentle. There was hope hiding in his voice, too. "Shall we?"

*

It seemed real the next evening.

They arrived in front of the New York Institute to find Theo and Gretel from the closest Werewolf pack already there. A pair of fae nobles Magnus didn't recognize, both in full Court regalia, one Seelie and the other Unseelie, arrived a few minutes later, just after the last lingering blush of daylight faded, escorting Raphael and Lily who were here for their Clan.

Magnus almost asked if any of them knew what the fuck was really going on, but did in fact retain his composure and instead just lifted his chin to wait. (He had to admit, even if just to himself, that he was glad Camille was off somewhere being Camille rather than here in New York to represent the vampires and make this whole situation even more uncomfortable.)

They didn't wait long.

The double doors to the Cathedral swung wide open, rather than the main entrance that led to the central hub of the Institute and the Heads' Office. The High Inquisitor herself stepped out, and fucking bowed to them, and Magnus made a small noise of disbelief that he would deny to his dying day if anyone ever asked. (He didn't think anyone would, however, as he had not been the only one. In fact he was pretty sure the only one who hadn't betrayed their surprise was Ragnor, though the fae had managed no more than a slight shift in posture or positioning.)

"We have set up precautions so all may enter." Herondale paused, and tilted her chin towards Ragnor and Magnus. "I understand if you wish to verify before anyone tests my word?"

Magnus stared at her. She'd just admitted that they had no reason to believe her. She'd admitted it out loud and didn't even sound upset about it.

Ragnor bumped his elbow, and Magnus tucked it all back behind his High Warlock mask. He nodded back as formally as he could manage before lifting his arms and letting his magical senses expand.

There was something inside that was still warded enough to prevent him from being able to tell what it was, but its power was passive rather than active, so it wouldn't be able to be turned against them without warning.

There was also an echo of banked power that felt suspiciously like Silent Brother -and- Iron Sister -and- Soul Sword which was a thing the letter had mentioned but he hadn't been sure he'd believed; (especially that it was only there for Herondale to swear on rather than to be used against the rest of them, somehow). Beyond either of those, it was also very clear the resonance from the Angelic Core had been banked, somehow, the blessing to make the ground hallowed had been covered and muted, and it was entirely safe for any downworlder to enter, regardless of age or power level or wards.

He couldn't quite resist a glance at Ragnor, whose expression indicated he was right there with Magnus and his inexplicable conclusion. Ragnor managed to imply a shrug with the shift of his eyes, and Magnus turned to their fellow downworlders. "She's correct, the building is completely safe for us to enter."

He refrained from suggesting that the nephilim in the building were trustworthy, as they'd all already decided to take that risk when they'd shown up in response to Herondale's summons.

He supposed the fae might not have decided so much as been ordered, but regardless. They were already here. And it was time to see if the rest of it was true.

The rows of pews were nearly full of nephilim in mourning white, more than Magnus suspected usually served in New York, all of them eerily silent, heads politely bowed just enough to lessen the weight of their attention on the entering downworlders.

Behind the chancel, in the raised choir stands, there were additionally about a half-a-dozen black-clad guards, an Iron Sister in gleaming white, a Silent Brother in his bone-dull robe, and the Soul Sword itself, the ruby glinting in its hilt.

To the left of the altar were half-a-dozen nephilim children roughly equivalent to elementary school aged Mundanes, only one of whom had the steady glow to Magnus' senses of a runed Shadowhunter rather than the flickering eldritch taste of angelic potential that the young ones carried before they received their first Mark.

Except for one small red-head just under ten who was familiarly blank, and he realized that the Inquisitor must have found the Fairchilds because that was young Clarissa, still under the power of the wards her mother had paid him to build for her.

He hoped Dorothea was safe, wherever she was. He hadn't felt her magic break, so at least he was reasonably sure she was still alive.

He swallowed, let his gaze skip over the draped stand centered on the aisle in front of him, and focused instead on the dozen adults opposite the children, each with a visibly red Circle on their neck, their shoulders all stiff in the distinctive posture of prisoners whose hands were chained behind their backs. Some of them he didn't know at all, a few were only vaguely familiar, but then there was Jocelyn herself, and Starkweather, and both Lightwoods, and someone who looked eerily similar to the Consul himself.

There was one man beside the rest with his hands cuffed in front of him instead of behind, his Circle rune dark and quiescent rather than inflamed, a Chinese Shadowhunter standing next to him, close enough the white of her sleeves brushed against his arm, with neither a Circle rune nor any restraints on her at all.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice." Herondale spoke up after giving them all a moment to look around, and without another word she turned her back to eight potentially hostile downworlders and knelt before the Sword.

The Silent Brother lifted his hands, the pressure of his attention clear even when he didn't say anything. The Iron Sister lifted the sword, balancing it gracefully in such a way that it tilted gently down from her grip until the tip almost rested on Herondale's forehead. The ruby glowed, and the flare of angelic power was strong enough to sizzle against Magnus' skin. Carried along with the magic was the Silent Brother's intent, and the Inquisitor's voice filled the Cathedral, both inside and outside his head, resonating in his bones and his blood.

"The traitor Valentine Morgenstern has been killed, and the only surviving nephilim members of his Circle are here to face their final sentencing, as witnessed by the Downworld Leaders of New York City, in this the soul of the New York Institute, a place most wounded by his actions. This truth I swear, upon the Angel Raziel and His Mortal and Immortal Instruments, as High Inquisitor of Alicante and Idris, Commander of the Gard, Elder of the Clave and Council, Head of the Herondale Family, Blooded Shadowhunter and Mother of Soldiers, Lady Imogen Whitelaw Herondale."

Magnus swallowed, ignoring the burn in his eyes and the faint taste of copper down his throat.

The Soul Sword compelled the truth from the nephilim, but all it required when they swore upon it was that they believed in whatever truth they spoke.

This ritual was something else entirely. The balance of the magic he'd just witnessed, a trio of complementary powers braided together, Brother and Sister and relic, knowledge and skill and power, secrets and vows and faith, with each separate piece enhancing the other two, meant that Herondale couldn't have sworn on something that was untrue at any level, even if she'd personally believed it all the way down to her bones.

"Well, fuck me."

Magnus snorted, barely stopping himself from giggling (possibly slightly hysterically) at Ragnor's sotto voce reaction. Not that he'd been thinking anything any more eloquent.

It was real.

*

The rest of the meeting was less dramatic. Even whipping the cover off the stand in the middle to reveal Valentine’s head encased in silver-edged glass had been less shocking. (Well, to the warlocks and fae, at least. Vampires and werewolves weren’t quite as able to feel the way the ritual had invoked truth magic against the nephilim, so being able to examine (and presumably scent) proof that Valentine was dead was a bigger deal for them.)

The former Circle members were all going to be deruned, exiled, and imprisoned, each alone at a different Institute so they couldn’t work together and their status could be verified by downworlders whenever they wished, unlike traditional prisoners kept in Alicante at the Gard.

There were two exceptions. One: Lucian Graymark, now Luke Garroway, was a werewolf, and the nephilim abdicated their authority and explicitly left his punishment up to the downworld itself. Second: the man who’d been standing slightly separate from the other prisoners, Patrick Penhallow, who had avoided participating in any of the Circle’s true atrocities and was the one who had discovered Valentine was alive and hiding with the presumed dead Herondale heir and promptly informed Imogen personally. He was still to be exiled from the Clave and Council for punishment, but would be allowed to continue as a Shadowhunter and would, in fact, be staying in New York City where he would be an official liaison to the downworld.

But only if the downworld representatives summoned agreed.

Magnus wasn’t complete sure which part of that was supposed to be mercy and which part was punishment, but he was surprised enough at the validation offered to himself and the other representatives that he did, in fact, agree to it along with everyone else.

That wasn’t even the last surprise though.

No, it got better.

Worse?

Magnus wasn’t sure anymore. He was going to tell Catarina about this and she wasn’t going to believe a single damn word he said.

Instead of re-opening their Academy in Alicante, the nephilim were going to train their children at the Institutes, and would include exposure to and lessons from former mundanes and current downworlders. The children there in the chapel for this meeting were the orphans of the Circle, whose parents were all formally being removed from their bloodlines, and this new generation would be raised in New York City.

Imogen Herondale herself was going to be acting as Head of the New York Institute with Jia Penhallow (Patrick’s wife, who had not ever been part of the Circle) as her Co-Head until such time as as the downworld agreed that the next generation of nephilim seemed sufficiently un-Circle-like and one of them could be appointed.

(That wasn’t, of course, how she’d said it, but it was clear enough.)

Magnus was mostly in shock and just nodding along at that point.

When she’d confirmed that the downworld was reasonably accepting of all of that, and had even told them how to contact Patrick directly with any questions or concerns, she slipped into something that looked like parade rest, and without a bit of warning that Magnus could recognize, the entire chapel-full of nephilim all stood at the same time, chanted “ante faciem Angelus” all together, and then they bowed, too. All of them, each with a hand over their heart, respect and responsibility and something that felt like an apology ringing through the air. From nephilim. To downworlders.

“Fiat justicia!” Herondale called out in response, and the nephilim filed back into their institute, and the black-clad guards very politely escorted the downworlders the other direction and shut the big fancy doors behind them, and Magnus was blinking at Ragnor in the street outside the Institute again.

“What the actual fuck.” Gretel broke the silence first.

Magnus started laughing, and nodded in agreement. That absolutely covered it.

The Clave had said they’d dealt with the Circle, and requested the downworld’s input, and claimed that things were going to be different this time, and it was all really, truly, completely, real.

[tojikai]

Okay I finally finished all of your stories!

Permanent mark is officially my favorite:,)

Thoughts;

See at one point, i was like let y/n heal and have them get together afterwards but then i was like “damn he fucked rie for two months 💔😔😟” and idk but something about her’s and suguru’s relationship is so tragic to me, i so badly wanted them together somehowReader should’ve gotten with suguru! I wanted their endgame so badly 😭💕 Everyone feels bad for satoru but nope i mostly feel bad for y/n and suguru, I wish they would’ve gotten together first, I don’t hate y/n either her, I saw some people hating on her and while i disagree on her sleeping with satoru while he has a gf, i can’t find myself to dislike her, and she actually might be my favorite “y/n” of yours.

both sundered and permanent mark satoru’s are so confusing and make me sigh deeply

Questions I have regarding the story surprisingly 😅:

- What was satoru whole thought process during the breakup and cheating

- Did he still love y/n at that point

- What was his reasoning

- Did he think abt y/n while rie/regret or like want her?

- Why did he put her over y/n??

- Basically what’s up with the whole situation

- Did he ever love y/n over her? Why would he break up with y/n over her?

- Did he love or want her more? Regarding rie

- Did y/n not make him happy anymore, what happened?

- Was there problems in their rs?

Note:

Thank you in advance if you answer, i probably already said this but your stories were a delight to read<33

I can’t wait to read the future stories you might have in store for us if you do:3

its nice that some people try to understand pm!yn and her actions. I also think it's understandable that many are frustrated about what she did. most of the characters in pm are driven by strong emotions that they made bad decisions, i could say its the theme of the whole story. they can be very confusing since not everything's mentioned explicitly, which i deliberately did bc i like that readers have to absorb something in order of them to really understand it. im happy you enjoyed pm !! 1. tbh satoru's mind was a mess the whole time, he hated himself for cheating on yn. at one point he felt like the breakup was meant to happen so he could finally be w rie but w rie he felt like something's wrong, almost as if he's still considering yn in everything he does in his new rs. he reached a point where he doesn't know if it's really what he wants or if he's just doing it bc it's already there. hearing abt suguru and yn shook him into clarity lmao

2. he still loves yn even when he was w rie.

3. like reason for going w rie? he thought thats what he wanted. he felt like it would complete something he never got to finish, but being away from yn took a bigger part of him than he thought it would.

4. he's always thinking abt yn even when he was w rie. he thought its just bc he felt guilty for cheating. but it was more than that. while he felt right being w rie, it's just different w yn. nothing feels wrong w yn whilst w rie, there's always a feeling that he's not really into it.

5. bc he thought that it was the right thing to do since he became rie's bf. satory appreciated her a lot when she stood w him even when everyone's judging them. he felt like she risked everything just to be w him and so he wanted to put out something equal.

6. lmao idk how to answer this but yeah ik, it's messy.

7. nobody asked satoru directly but if someone did, he'd be admitting to himself that he loves yn more than rie even when he and the latter were in a rs. he broke up w yn bc 1.) he already cheated, 2.) he thought he wanted to be w rie. 3.) bc he didn't think things through.

8. he loved rie. just not the way he loves yn and not as much.

9. he's the happiest w yn. he didn't realize it immediately when he left bc his and rie's rs was still young and it was still honeymoon phase and cloud9. after that, he had questions and lingering thoughts and feelings that he chose to push aside until he snapped (hearing abt sugu and yn)

10. no, there are no problems in their rs. that's why yn crashed out.

that's all !! thank you so much for the kind words and support ~!! <33

[softrozene]

Sean is Struggling

Anon asked: Hi yes, I'm new to the fandom as well, but what about a Sean x Fem!Reader where after everything that had happened to him (before Arthur saved him in ch2) he's struggling with being touched and how the reader slowly gets him used to it? And like, angst hurt/comfort bc its 10:17pm and I want sad things that get resolved 

rdr2 masterlist

Sean is a good boi who deserves all the love

Originally published on January 12, 2020

Sean MacGuire x Female Reader

Warnings: Angst probably not enough but fluff to combat it, Sean has PTSD, Karen and Sean don’t happen lmao

Words: ~1k

You’ve been with this group long enough to know everyone on a personal level. You care for all of them equally and know when something is wrong. It just so happens that Sean is just a tad different. Okay, a lot different, and Arthur and Hosea may have picked up on that.

The relentless teasing you received from Arthur when his group brought Sean back was embarrassing. However, you could easily push whatever feelings you have away because as soon as Sean got to camp and you tried to give him one of the hugs he claims to always adore, he hesitated.

He never hesitates to hug you.

It was only a small thing but you noticed it and you kept your eyes and ears on him to see if anything else was amiss. There was plenty.

The male already drank like a pirate but it seemed to have worsened since he got back. Thankfully, he would hold off on being drunk until it got late but the odd thing was he drank alone or only ever with Arthur and John. Sometimes Hosea but rarely. That was the other odd thing. Arthur seemed to have gotten closer to Sean but in a way, you’d never under but desperately want to.

It made you sick to your stomach not knowing how to help the boy who is obviously having problems. So one night you decided to ask.

~*~

“Sean, Arthur, may I take a seat?” You ask softly looking at the fire.

Sean has already gone quiet. You hate when he goes quiet around you. It’s like he doesn’t want you there. You’re about to abort the mission when Arthur nods his head.

“Here, take my seat. It’s closer to the fire. I’m going to actually head to bed,” Arthur shares ignoring the glare Sean sends his way.

Arthur leaves and you sit down with hesitation.

Your heart starts to ache and you have a slight panic. Is whatever he went through that terrible that he doesn’t even want to be by you? Did you remind him of something? The thought nearly kills you.

“(Name), oh no. What the hell did I do?! Why are you crying?!” The poor fiery red-head is stunned.

You are stunned as well. You had no idea you had busted out into tears as your fingers brush your cheeks. You quickly try to recompose yourself and ask the question you’ve been dying to ask.

“Are you okay, Sean? Scratch that, tell me how I can help you. I noticed that even Arthur is trying to comfort you by being your drinking buddy but that isn’t going to work Sean. I can’t pretend I don’t see all the flinches you do anymore. All the little scared moments you have that you think no one else notices. Please tell me how I can help you,” You say your voice breaking in multiple parts.

Hearing the hurt in your voice, the pain you felt for him, it nearly made him cry. He doesn’t cry in front of others. He puts down his bottle and pulls you onto his lap. His arms immediately wrap around you tightly and he’s trembling, shaking like a damn leaf.

“Sorry (Name). I’ve been so fucking stupid as of late. I’ve been avoiding you too. I-“ He stops so he won’t cry.

You can feel his hands shaking worse than his whole body and you realize he’s already trying to push himself for you. You scramble off of him in a heartbeat. The confusion on his face shows as you gently take his hand.

“You are naïve to think that a bottle will fix what happened. Or make you forget. I’m unsure how to help you, but if avoiding me was helping you I can accept that. I can stop trying to care abou-“

The squeeze Sean gives your hand became a tad painful as he lets out a choked “no”. He glances around, to make sure the others are still sleeping or well haven’t been eavesdropping before he allows himself to speak with a bit more urgency.

“No. No. I don’t want that. Avoiding is making things worse. I- I miss you. I miss your hugs. I miss actually talking to you and teasing you. I’ve been avoiding you because I like you so damn much and I thought you seeing how badly this affected me would’ve been a turn-off,” He admits his skin turning a little bit red from embarrassment.

You honestly want to hit him with love right about now.

“You might be a bit of a dumbass. You honestly thought that I wouldn’t like you because of this? Sean, I care too much about you. I honestly love you. It’s hurting me seeing you like this,” You whisper looking at your joined hands.

His slim long fingers are holding onto your own with everything they have. He had stopped shaking. It finally hits you.

“I know that they physically harmed you. If you want me to help we can start there? Have little touches like this until you are more comfortable and your body and mind processes that you are safe here? Only if you want to though. I’m so sorry for projecting my feelings onto you like that,” You murmur out all of this in a slight panic once again.

Sean gives you a hearty chuckle and large grin as he asks, “Did you say you love me?”

“Of course, that’s the part that sticks with you! I guess that’s good. That means there is hope for you yet,” You mumble looking anywhere but him.

He pulls your hand to his chest forcing you to look at him. Only this time he’s serious. “I’ve been holding out on ya since Blackwater but I love you too (Name). I accept your help since you’re so willing. Ah… Would you be kind enough to uh-“

He stops talking and simply uses his other hand to point and tap his cheek. He so desperately wants the simple touch so you gladly do it. Your soft lips meet his skin and he almost melts at the moment. Pulling away, you both stare at each other and for the first time since he’s been back, Sean feels completely safe.

[flowersandbirdsflyingfree]

Uh. I've never done something like this before, but I love this concept, and my POSTAL obsession is hitting my hard, so.

Can I please get a POSTAL matchup? 🥺

I'm a cis guy with currently dyed hair that's faded, and I look like a natural redhead. I'm kind of skinny and have been called a "twink" before because of it, if that helps describe, lol. I love violent single player video games, but also adore anything of the horror genre, and will often be watching a horror movie (I have several on DVD: My Bloody Valentine, Halloween, Terminator, etc). I also love classic films and am a movie nerd. I love classic rock bands like AC/DC, Styx, Kansas, you name it. I like to draw, animate, make student films, write novels, and do stop-motion. I also like to speed run pretty much any task I give myself (usually finishing a sketch within twenty minutes or less). My humor is so bad and tends to be on the really dark or really sexual side, which is funny considering I'm on the aroace spectrum, lol. I dress very extra, often wearing at least two necklaces, earrings, one ring, a watch, usuall a button-up or coat, worn jeans, and work boots. Think a mix of JD from heathers and Dean Winchester from Supernatural, but a lot more graphic T-shirts. I actually have an outfit in my wardrobe that's very similar to P2 Dude, lmao. Aside from that, mental illness wise, I have autism, dyslexia, anxiety, and I'm kind of guessing I have depression, but who doesn't these days?

I hope that's enough info, and I'm sorry if some of this is just me rambling, ehe. Again, I've never done this before, so I hope that's alright. <:]

Thank you so much. :]

No problem! After all, I too am enslaved to the Postal obsession myself.

I match you with:

Postal 2 Dude

Ok so I admit I almost did Postal 3 Dude from your from your appearance alone so I could call your ship name “Paradise Lost”. But then I realized there is no other Dude more perfect for you than the classic himself. Also, based on your personalities, I think you’d want to fucking deck the 3rd Dude after 5 minutes.

Double twink duo. He’s a bit bonier with his hair a little scruffy. Has a little pudge of tummy due to alcohol consumption and a few scars on his chest.

You don’t have to worry about being aroace. The Bitch was right about Dude being bad in bed for the fact that: 1. He has erectile dysfunction 2. Can’t perform shit because he lasts 3 mins tops and most importantly 3. He has little drive anyways. He can shut up his hormones alone when he has to. Nevertheless, he too loves dirty jokes just for fun.

Dark humor is his forte. He pushes the boundaries often. He prefers making fun of the occurrences of ignoramuses around him. And of course, anything about that good ol’ fashioned ultra-violence! If it ever sounds too offensive, it’s never out of genuine bigotry. It’s only because he loves fucking with people to get a reaction. He hates everyone equally. Except you, pumpkin😘

The Dude and you both endure the turmoil of mental illness hand in hand. His own issues are schizophrenia, neurological brain trauma (the suicide attempt was not the first head-wound he got), ASPD and possibly Asperger’s.

His take on it all is to ride it out and conquer it when it happens. He will be very supportive when the going gets tough for you. If he trusts you, then you’re in it for the long haul together. “Hey. I get it. It really sucks. But I promise I’m not going anywhere without you. You make life worth it.”

He doesn’t play video games. He will likely make fun of you for playing them… and then ever so slowly start denying that he was on your computer enjoying the game he watched you play. “What the- No! I’m not a fucking nerd.” Yes, Dude. Yes you are. Just like the rest of us. Don’t

He will likely buy you cool necklaces, chains and pins for you to wear. Also, he is a simple man in terms of attempting romance. He will surprise you coming home with a gorgeous flower bouquet.

Fuck yeah! Another fan of horror! He’s tough enough to handle it. Dude usually likes psychological thrillers, abstract arthouse horror, and cheesy dark comedies the most. Not a fan of horror games. It’s really funny to see him clearly a bit stirred up from them. He tries too hard to brush it off like it doesn’t bother him. Be a dear and try to soothe his nerves. Maybe curl up next to him watching a classic film of your choice.

I think he would love your artworks. Between stop-motion, writing and visual art, you sound like an incredible visionary! Dude is always asking what you’re working on and wants to support you. (Writer’s Note: I adore stop-motion and salute you!! It’s so underrated as an art form)

He likes nu-metal, grunge and classic rock. Sometimes, he just listens to random muzak since it has a semi-calming effect on him. He’d love to put on something like The Doors or Cars while spending time with you. Talk about being his soulmate

[bipolbur]

oh my god so i had an uber driver i’ve had before (unsurprisingly we talked about burgers last time he was my driver) and he asked me if i was transitioning and i guess on fucking instinct i went “uh, yeah” WHICH IS. NOT VERY SMART. but he was like “that’s cool, that’s probably why you look different than the last time i saw you” which btw i do not i have not been taking t for like a year i think my hair is just a little longer but then a few minutes later he was like “man im sorry for asking you that i shouldn’t have done that that’s personal” and i was like “aha no problem it’s fine i don’t mind answering… questions… sometimes” and then i did an awkward little laugh bc well that was a sentence i actually hate answering questions and he was like “i’m trying to be a better man than i used to be im trying to be all about equality and understanding and stuff” and i was like “that’s awesome man” then like a minute later he was like “well fuck it since you dont mind answering questions, how do you pay for that?” bc he thinks im like Actively transitioning and i was like “oh, it’s like. a lot of saving up” and then we discussed the matrix. he seemed like a nice, genuinely trying/curious dude i was just slightly terrified LMAO

[velvetwarfare]

I do not have the energy to do serious threads (go figure im lame) so I’m gonna just info dump about the vistani culture w Beth instead because I love them.

• Vistani, a summarized version: To avoid cultural disrespect, we simply refer to them as traveling nomads or Romani (which is cutting it close already so that’s very loosely used), but you can obviously tell by the similarities to real ethnicities what they are based off of. The actual people they were based off of were the g.ypsies, but again, that’s frowned upon.

• They are commonly known to be fortune tellers, psychics blessed with divinity from birth (Mama Andreá), silversmiths, coppersmiths, haberdashers, cooks, weavers, musicians, entertainers, storytellers, toolmakers, and horse traders. Whatever coin they earn is usually shared amongst the settlement and friends within their circle. No one is left on an empty stomach or too cold on a winter’s night. This is why Beth still has her empathy and heroism intact — because she grew up with the knowledge on equality and family over anything else. These traits led to her permanent hedge knighthood.

• Vistani dress in bright cloths, bells, laces, jewelry, etc. While Beth prefers to always wear her knight armor due to her over-alertness, on the rare occasions she relaxes, she’ll wear duller colors of traditional garb. Bright colors don’t camouflage well and Beth never leaves her war-ridden mind, so relaxation and fashion always take second priority. Despite this, she will never forget her roots — so she can let loose when Barovia isn’t kicking her ass into the mud for the millionth time lmao

• Disagreement never results with violence. Usually, it’s through contests that end with reconciliatory singing, dancing, and storytelling. The Vistani are extremely laid back and chill. Beth hates needless violence, but kinda had no choice but to give in to her brutality as a Nosferatu that’s constantly hungry and takes on insane power when triggered. She’s verbally sharp and her intimidation (+5 which is hilarious because that’s even higher than some Strahd’s) crossed with charisma (+2) makes up for any physical assault, so she can stop quarrels before they begin because people are scared of her and not stupid enough to bark up that tree GFHFHGBB

• Quick to act when their lives or traditions are threatened, merciless when they believe they must be. On god. If you fuck w one Vistani, consider yourself damned at that point. These people travel in PACKS LIKE WOLVES. They can and will eternally curse your ass worse than a hag’s bite. They’re docile until fucked with, and then they hit so damn hard back — in numbers. Vistani can quickly become as lethal as armies. Think the court of miracles from the hunchback. Beth’s rage stems from how Noctus destroyed so many settlements and her own vardo, attacking mercilessly with the unbridled vengeance from every slain Vistani.

“ 𝐍𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐔𝐒! 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐎𝐙𝐃𝐎𝐕, 𝐃𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐊𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐌𝐀 𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐄Á! 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐈 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐌𝐄! 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐔𝐑𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐄! 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐌𝐘 𝐎𝐀𝐓𝐇, 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑, 𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐘 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄’𝐒 𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄! 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐄! “ [ In ref to her second fight against Noctus after her forcibly made her attack her party as a Nosferatu beast. ]

• Her theme is Bloody Tears from C.astlevania too just for that extra spice lol

• The Vistani don't worship any gods, but instead believe in something they call ‘Threads of Fate.’ They believe that all actions have reactions and that fate's wound its strings around everyone. They are firm believers in the spirits, divine, and superstitious.

• Some Vistani women are blessed with prescience. Of all the great Vistani fortune-tellers, none compares to Madam Eva. Her party is close to meeting Eva’s settlement and I’m excited lol but Mama Andreá was a born psychic and passed that knowledge down to Beth at a young age, who had a glimmer of her prescience due to genetics. Beth does have a tarot deck given to her from Cassandra she has yet to use to tell minor events occurring in the future, but her power is not nearly as precise as Eva/Andreá or Cass’ tarokka. She tends to stick to daily fortunes or simple spreads.

• A prescient Vistani can't see her own future or the future of another Vistani. It is the burden of the Vistani's great gift that their own fates can't be divined. rip to Cass and Beth reading each other’s futures but I don’t think they’d want that anyway considering how much they hate their own lives in the first place BGHFHVCVB

• Beth’s human side comes out when she’s doing Vistani related things. Cooking meats and soups, dancing and story telling around a fire, using her castanets, jingling bells, dressed in her traditional clothes, etc. This shows greatly as her mother verse with Annalize, because she ensures Anna lives the full Vistani experience that both mothers couldn’t experience themselves as it was ripped straight from them due to vampirism and war.

Beth retires from her wandering knighthood immediately to become a house wife at that point. She’s always cooking hearty meals for Anna and Cass, decorating the castle in beautiful fabrics and decor, dressing her daughter in the most lavished garb and jewelry, and teaches her all about the divine to pass down her knowledge from Mama Andreá. Beth eventually owns her own vardo and names it in respect of her own vardo (The Copper Carriage) , now The Crimson Carriage. She adopts a settlement of Vistani who survived the fogs and, just as any other settlement does, opens the doors to any weary traveler. Cass takes her myrmidon status back and the two no longer dress in armor, but the traditional garbs, not wanting to treat their daughter to violence and really bring up their past of relentless bloodshed (Anna would figure it out sooner or later anyway because Beth and Cass are basically figures of high importance with stories that were passed around Barovia of who they once were lmao) . but this all simply an ✨ AU happy ending for both of them ✨ that I created and who fucking knows what’ll ACTUALLY occur in game I just want these two to have a dAMN MOMENT OF CLARITY THEY DESERVE GOOD THINGS FOR ONCE

[firecrackerhh]

For fucks sake. If you say you’re gonna “leave the fandom” something you’ve been saying for a while, then just fucking leave already. No reblogs, no comments, nothing.

I’m under the impression no one actually fucking likes you anyway so I don’t see why you feel the need to announce it like anyone outside of your equally as brain dead followers actually give a shit.

I do not understand why people like this feel the need to lie to themselves. If you keep talking shit about the fandom and the creator and the show and you just…bitch about it all the fucking time then I don’t think you like the show at all and I think you’re just a fucking attention whore. Probably to make up for the fact your parents clearly don’t fucking love you.

This bitch has a fucking problem and I think it should be called out.

I’m allergic to bullshit and this bitch gives me fucking hives.

“Leaving the fandom was the best decision I-“ BITCH YOU HAVEN’T FUCKING LEFT. If you did, your shitty “critical” blog would be abandoned and taking up valuable space on this site’s hard drive. If you left, you would deactivate your fucking blog.

Hazbin isn’t out yet due to the strikes going on, for one who claims to be “socially aware” and whatnot, I would think you would know that. Since you just love stalking Viv and probably anyone else Spindlehorse related cuz you’re a fucking obsessive weirdo who probably hasn’t gone outside in months.

Christ this bitch makes me look like a well adjusted human being who actually contributes to society in comparison Lmao.

I would tell you to touch grass but if you ever did it would probably die in your grasp.

“Remember to do what you enjoy in life and make good decisions.” Something you have never and will never do, seeing as you’re still here actively engaging in content that pisses you off for reasons that are beyond me. Like yeah you say you’ll leave, but you won’t. A good decision would be deleting your entire blog and moving the fuck on with your life. A decision I frankly believe you to be incapable of making. And if you enjoy being a miserably toxic pile of dogshit to innocent people you might be a bad person.

I don’t know how you can be excited for Hazbin given how much it’s obvious you fucking hate everything else Viv has ever done. I bet the second it comes out you’ll cry like a bitch about how awful you think it is.

I cannot imagine being hyperfixated on something I hate. What a fucking miserable existence you must live.

It’s simple really, if you’re gonna leave, then leave and never come back cuz Jesus knows none of us will miss you. Jesus knows I won’t.

🔥🧨~Firecracker out~🔥🧨

[itssbriar]

Yeah they did not wrap up shit 😭

I stand corrected? Some characters in League did die? But im not really sure how, although the ones that did always had open end stories. Like Warwick and Jinx had stories but then kinda just existed, so if they did die then that would just be their end.

Heimerdinger didnt die, unless I miss remember Yordle lore, they are basically just spirits with physical forms, so when they ‘die’ they actually just respawn in Bandle City lol

Jayce and Viktor broke the loop and I assume are now *somewhere*. I don’t think they died, but now they’re either somewhere in the Arcane, or somewhere in an ethereal plane. Either I knew it, Viktor was the hooded person the whole time! Istg they always sound like gay lovers, Viktor went through every timeline and possibility to find out that Jayce is the only one who can ever make Viktor feel human and like everyone else 😭

Ambessa fucking died?!? Thats one definite league champ thats just… dead.

Mel is now in Ambessa’s place ig (Mel is probably the next league champ). The three eye raven might be a hint towards Swain, so for the next show they are probably going to Noxus like I thought. The Black Rose and Mordekaiser boss fight and all that

Vi not being done with the fight is a throwaway line because most won’t get it but basically just means Vi is an enforcer again

Not much to say about Caitlyn, she is basically the same as before added with the trauma and experiences. Shes still the sheriff of piltover lol

Singed via what happened with the glorious evolution used that to make Orianna into the android version of her in game (thats how he cures her death)

Loris died :( Isha died with next to no mention which was odd. MADDIE DIED FUCK YEAH! Hate that character. Jinx is maybe dead? I honestly dont know because that character is so popular and they wouldnt be able to do much with her anymore of thats the case. Warwick/Vander also maybe? I mean he literally has infinite regen stat like this was made known a lot soooo maybe?

Ekko probably rebuilds the Z drive but yeah they rewrote the z drive to use the anomaly or more specifically they made another one using Jayce’s original hextech machine calculations but changed a part that basically equalled time travel lmao

Sevika is now on the council, that war made political progression x200 Jayce basically just made Piltover and Zaun finally join together which by now its actually probably established as Zaun since shes on the council and she knew Silco’s vision of Zaun

The part where Mel saw the figures true face was basically confirmation of something that was likely that being the figure is LeBlanc

Outside of that I would have to go through all specifics by watching and pinning, those are all the main characters