#‘some cat had to go and die’ is kinda a funny thing to say if you remove the fact that it’s your beloved jellie

[weaselishmcdiesel]

Unimportant but I see that cat of the year thing going around with a screenshot of the op of the poll bashing jellie. If you do one lick of research you’d find the op apologized for it. I really hope no one is sending them hate or whatever over this please relax it’s just an internet poll

[bloodykora]

I Meant It

I finally wrote an actual one shot for Buggy :)

Summary: You 'babysit' Buggy while he's only a head.

No use of y/n however reader is referred to gal and very feminine pet names (I normally write gender neutral but this was very self serving). I had to write this on my phone so if the format is different from my norm, that is why.

“I think his nose is cute.” A voice breaks out for the first time in the conversation, the other two slowly turning towards you in shock and judgement.

“I beg your pardon sweet thing?” Sanji is the first to break the moment of silence, you raise your shoulders at him.  “I don’t know, he's like. Okay, you know those cats who have a limb missing and they go to scratch with that limb and everyone’s like ‘awww’. That’s kinda how I think I am with him right now, look at him. He’s just a head, a little kitty who can’t scratch behind his ear and needs some help.”

“You seem to forget about the village he destroyed, the one that offered us the rest of their food after we saved them because of what him and his crew did.” “Zoro, you out of everyone has no right to judge considering you took that random dude’s brother’s head.” You stare at the Buggy in front of us with a cloth in his mouth, watching this whole conversation about him go down.

“I do not need to be around this.” Zoro states before leaving, huffing to himself right before he goes out of ear shot. 

“I never knew you out of everyone would be into the clown type but then again, all women are a mystery.” A laugh comes out and you shake your head at Sanji’s words before replying. “I think I just like them to be outgoing.” You slowly and dramatically look Sanji up and down before connecting gazes with him. 

Before he has the chance to respond, a loud bang erupts from a part of the ship which catches both of your attention. Sanji sighs before looking at me. “Things can never be calm around here can they?” A smile appears on your face as you nod. “You go check that out, I think Zoro has had enough of me today, I’ll stay here with him.” You cock your head to the side, pointing at Buggy. Sanji nods and begins to walk away. “Be safe sweets, holler if you need anything.” He looks back to say before continuing on. 

You look back at the clown, his eyes wide watching. Taking a few steps in his direction, nearing him before bending down to him. “Don’t make me regret this.” You quietly say out before gently removing the gag in his mouth. “Ahh toots, that feels so much better." He states while stretching his mouth and licking his lips. “You have no idea how dry my mouth was getting, I was almost debating having a sip of sea water!” You roll my eyes before sitting beside the barrel he was on.

“I think that would not be beneficial cause then you’d have the opposite problem of having too much water.” You pause for a second before questioning. “Can you drown? I mean like now, as just a head? You have no lungs attached to you currently.” “I’ve never tried, I would assume yes though.” “Well, don’t do it then. I wouldn’t wanna have to be the one to save you, or maybe I’d send Sanji to do it for me.”  “That blondie would let me die, I’d be a lot better, mentally and physically, if it was you.” He winks at you. “Mmm, I think anyone of us would do it begrudgingly. For Nami.” He huffs beside you, it was a little funny as just a head. You could imagine his body’s chest moving along with it.

“What is with you and that cook anyway? It’s like you two wanna jump each other, I say just get a room and do it for the sake of me and the crew.” A snort comes out at his words. “Buggy, I don’t think Sanji is actually attracted to me. Yes, he is good looking. However, he flirts with every woman he sees. In front of me too. Ya know, you two kinda remind me of each other in that regard.”

“Oh darling, I would treat you so much better than he ever could.” His words are filled with honey, sweet and dripping. You look at him, face in a ‘really?’ gaze. “I don’t know, he is French. And you know there is a kiss named after them.” He scoffs at the retort. “My head detaches, do I have to say more?”  Your face drops in realization and your cheeks begin to heat up at his words.

“Slut.” The word flew out of your mouth before you could process it. He sits expressionless before breaking into laughter. Your hand raises to your forehead, half covering your face as you laugh.  “I never admitted this but I think I like spending time with you more than Zoro.” “I don’t know, it’s hard to compare his death threats to your sugary laugh.” He flirts again,  You shake your head at his faux forwardness. “If you do that again I’m going to flick your ear I swear to god.” He grins ear to ear like a cat luring in its prey, his face then slowly rests like he was actually thinking for once.

“Earlier, you called my nose cute.” “Yes I did.” “Did you actually mean it or were you poking fun like the others?” I glance at him, his tone serious and his eyes almost pleading. “I meant it.” It’s silent, for the first time ever since you've met Buggy. It seems he takes a breath before speaking up.

"You know, you'd be a good second in command. I could pay you handsomely, far more than these schmucks are."  "They aren't really paying me." His eyes bulge out a bit at the answer.  "You won't realize it yet, considering how they have treated you however," You pause, choosing your words carefully. "They are the closest thing to family I have gotten in forever, meanwhile your crew feared you. That is all the swaying I need." 

"Its cause that Sanji is taller than me isn't it?" You scoff and crack up at his wit. Laughing to the point of your shoulders visibly shaking.  "Oh yes, that is absolutely it." You respond teasing, laughter still in your voice. He shakes his head in disappointment. The pair of you continue to stare out as the sun goes down over the horizon, the warm orange creeping into an umber and then its usual royal blue. The stars peering down at the pair. 

"I think it might be time to head in." You say out loud, mostly to yourself while your hands rub over your arms to retain some heat. You could hear the buzzing begin of the mosquitos.  "What doll, can't handle a little breeze?" You shake your head, you could begin to feel the tip of your fingers cool.  "I've never been good with night time on the water." Buggy sighs beside me as I sit up.

"Let's head in then." He looks up at you, a small smile on his face. You pick him up, avoiding uncomfortable placement of your hands or a tight grip. His skin was warmer then expected, that was the stereotype though. The men being hot blood and bodied creatures.

"Where am I staying tonight? Barrel, in a window, random box?"  "I think you're gonna stay with me." Buggy's eyebrows furrow in confusion. You begin to walk quickly to your small corner of the ship, descending down a small flight of stairs. The blue haired head clutched in your arms almost like the way you'd hold a newborn. 

The blue cot you were well acquainted with was already strung up, ready for you to rest in. You put Buggy up there in it before talking up to him.  "I'm changing so don't try anything okay?" The jester was already too shocked and flustered to speak. Making a mental promise to himself not to break your trust. 

You take a bit of time before he sees your arms come over the side and lift yourself into the hammock. You settle yourself, pulling up the blanket that laid at the end over mostly you. There's a few thuds down the stairs before Sanji appears before you both. 

"Ahh, just the gal I was looking for. How did babysitting go?" He asks, putting an arm over the side of the bed. Standing on a piece of board under you to boost himself up.  "Still here cook boy." Buggy's voice bellows out, you smile at the cook while he gives you a confused glance.  "I got worried that the mosquitos will affect his brain and stuff." You put on your best innocent smile and Sanji shakes his head.  "You are the most mad pirate I think I've ever laid my eyes on." He gets a shrugged shoulders and rolled eyes back.  "So, what was it that happened earlier?" You lean up to peer over the side at him. His face was always a comfort even when it felt the most safe.  "Apparently Usopp knocked something over and then Luffy couldn't remember if it was Nami's or something else. You know him, if its not food related then he's not fully paying attention." You nod, agreeing with the blond. Sanji leans in close to you, looking over your shoulder at the head eavesdropping. 

"Are you going to be okay with him? Cause you know I can very much find a different spot for him." He says in a hushed tone to you, a small smile appears on your face. 

"I'll be okay Sanji, he's just a head. The most he could do is bite me and I think I'd wake up before he could cause real damage. However, if anything goes sour. You will be the first one I call to come help." You place your hand on his shoulder, rubbing it quickly before putting it back under the blanket. Sanji nods at you before he steps down.  "Well sweet, you have a goodnight. Don't dream of me too much okay?" You wave to him and wish him a good night. 

"God he's annoying." Buggy says as you cuddle into your bed, eyes closed in a peaceful manner. "Just look at it like this, you're in my bed. He's not." That shuts him up fast, you peek an eye open at him. He seems speechless and you let out a quiet giggle.  "Please do tell me if you snore." "I should be saying that to you, you can roll over or move. I'm just stuck here." 

You let out a mhmm, the luring sleepiness now very present in your body and brain. Buggy stares at you, blanket tucked up to your chin and face relaxed.  He laid there and listened to you breathe for a bit. Making sure you were well into your slumber before muttering out.  "Sleep well love."

[skylarsblue]

✦I have more C.o.D Quotes✦

Gaz: How’s your head? Y/N: Well, I haven’t had any complaints yet. Gaz: …excuse me? Y/N: Oh uh, I think I’ll live-

-- (Somewhere in Greece with a fuck ton of cats) Ghost, watching Price sneeze every five seconds: What a catastrophe. Gaz: No. Y/N: PFFT- Soap: Stop, no, don’t encourage him. Y/N: Ahem! Right, right. Not funny. Ghost: I am purrfectly capable of being funny. Y/N: *struggling* Gaz: Sometimes I wish you didn’t have a mouth.

-- Just a scene of Y/N taking out a bottle of whiskey, unscrewing they cap, then putting one of those lid caps on. (Like the ones you have on those fancy Gatorades) Taking a huge swig and closing the cap on it as Soap watches in amusement, & Price in fear.

-- Ghost: Quit messing with my hand. Soap: Quit messing with my hair! Y/N: Quit being gay. Gaz: PFFFT Y/N: Both problems solved.

-- Y/N, on the comms: You have thirteen seconds before the building fucking explodes you hot topic wannabe- Ghost: … Y/N: And you green gumball son of a bitch. Gaz: Wha-?! Soap: *WHEEZE* Y/N: You have done nothing but ruin my life; I hope you both die.

-- Soap, Gaz, & Y/N: *cackling* Laswell, losing at poker: I miss my wife, Price. Price: *places down cards* Laswell: I miss my wife.

-- Ghost, overstimulated & a lil drunk: AHHHHHH MY BONES Y/N: *frantically getting headphones* Soap, drunk: *wheeze* Gaz: Ah. I know I should’ve- *dies coughing* Soap: *more wheezing*

-- Graves *kicks in door* WHO POSTED MY NUDES ON TWITTER DOT COM?! Y/N: SUCK IT, BITCH BOY!! Alejandro: *aggressively slapping his leg while silently laughing* Rudy: *pointing and laughing* Valeria, in handcuffs: Ha, dumbass.

-- Graves: Bitch, you are gonna get in this car or I’m popping between ya eyes! Valeria: Hey, I know you. I saw your dick on Twitter! Graves: NOOOOOO Y/N: AHAHA!

-- Graves: C’mon Johnn- Y/N: *chucks a rock at Graves’ head* Graves: OW, WHY?! Y/N: NO JOHNNY FOR YOU! He goes by Soap and we respect that! Graves: Ghost calls him that! Y/N: CAUSE GHOST HAS PERMISSION, you EARN the right to Johnny! And I will be damned if anyone else earns the right before me. I been working my ass off to get the Johnny privilege and you will NOT get it for free! Soap, who’s just been standing there the whole time: *leans to Gaz* Have they actually been taking it that seriously? Gaz: Yeah. They’ve also been working real hard to try and get the right to call Captain “John”. Shoulda seen their face when I said they can call me Kyle. Soap: That’s…really sweet, I’ll give’em permission later. Gaz: Why not now? Soap: I wanna see that bastard get chewed out some more.

-- Y/N, perched on Price’s desk: Captain. Price: *sigh* Y/N: Captain I crave violence.

-- Ghost: Your family line deserves to die with you, only shame it didn’t end before you. Graves: ….I just sat down!

-- Y/N: You’re like…the human incarnation of crumbs in the bed. Graves: Oh c’MON THAT’S REAL MEAN Ghost: It’s true though. Y/N: The kinda crumbs that you keep swiping away but somehow they never leave- Graves: Alright! You know what- Soap: Like getting in bed after going to the beach. Gaz: Sand in the bed, yeah. Feels like that when he talks. Graves: I’M JUST GONNA FUCKIN LEAVE! Y/N: *watches him go* Annnd now the sheets have been changed. Ghost: Clean from filth. Alejandro: You all are so cruel and it’s perhaps the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

-- Gaz: Things Gucci with you? Y/N: It’s Goodwill at best, my guy. Price: I don’t know what this means but I feel like I should be concerned.

-- (Mild NSFW Jokie Time) Gaz: You alright? You been zoned out. Y/N: Hm? Nah I’m good, just having depraved thoughts. Gaz: Depraved, you say? Soap: Oh do tell. Y/N: You just…you ever see someone and think “they have pretty eyes”. And that’s normal. But then the little devil in the back of ya skull goes “yeah they’d look good rolled back”. Or am I just a whore? Gaz: That is depraved. Soap: Got a good point though.

-- Y/N: Ooo! Look! Old pictures of Captain, this one’s dated. You would’ve been…19 in this one. Lemme s-…… Gaz: Lemme see! ….. Price: What? Y/N: …..you were a whore, weren’t you captain? Gaz: That’s the face of an arrogant bastard who fucks regularly. Price: I…might’ve been a bit of a playboy. Y/N: And I would’ve fallen for it you god damn bastard, no ones fACE SHOULD BE THAT NICE!

-- Valeria, painting her nails: I might kill my ex, not the best idea. His new girlfriend’s next- Alejandro: ….. Rudy: ….should I be worried? Alejandro: Move away quietly and pray.

-- Ghost: For the record this is self destructive. Soap, chugging his 5th energy drink in the past hour: For the record, I’m aware of that.

-- MILF!Y/N: Boys. Bed, now. I wanna talk to your captain. Price: No, boys stay. Please stay- Y/N: Go. Price: Stay. The boys: *concern, panic, perhaps a bit of fear* Y/N: Go! Price: Stay! Y/N: You go! Soap: *speed walking* Price: Soap, stay! Y/N: NOW! Gaz: *slowly backing away* Price: Gaz, don’t move! Y/N: YOU GO! Price: SIMON- Ghost: *leaving*

-- Ghost: What was Plan A? Soap: …don’t fuck up. Ghost: And what was Plan B? Gaz: Don’t fuck up Plan A. Ghost: And what did you do? Y/N: …fucked up plan a- Ghost: YOU FUCKED UP PLAN A-

-- Ghost: What’s rule number one? Soap, with dynamite: Party! Ghost: NO! No, not party! No!

-- Graves: How about after this, we get a drink? Y/N: …I would rather gouge out my eyes and blindly navigate a way to turn them into earrings than ever be anywhere alone with you. Soap, grinning: Ooooo brutal! Ghost: Karma.

-- Ghost: Wait…Johnny’s into me? Like…he LIKES me?? Gaz: Oh Si…you poor, sad, dense mother fucker.

-- Ghost: At least nothing of importance was lost. Laswell: …Graves was kidnapped. Ghost: I know. I said what I said. Y/N: Nothing of value was lost but we did shed off some trash! Ghost: Precisely.

-- Ghost: These lights make me wanna pull my eyes out and eat them. Medic!Y/N: *turns lights off in favor of a lamp* …alright, so you’re autistic, good to know.

-- Ghost: Should I get my reading glasses? Y/N: Oh no no, this isn’t an eye test. It’s a GAY test. Now tell me, *holds up picture of Farah & Graves; Price being 1* Number one, or number two? Ghost: Number one?… Y/N: Interesting. *holds up Farah & Soap, Soap being 2* Okay now number one, or number two? Ghost: *gasp* Y/N: Number two, right? Ghost: Maybe I am gay?

-- Waitress: So, I’ve gotta ask, I’m really curious. 141: ? Waitress: Have any of you ever used like…the military language in bed? Soap: Naaaah. Y/N: No, I don’t- PFFFT, I- *wheeze* I’m sorry I’m imagining it- Gaz: *biting back laughs* Y/N: “You gonna come?” Affirmative. *laughs* Soap: *WHEEZE* Gaz: *cackling* Price: Oh lord- Gaz, snickering: Picking up speed. Y/N: COPY- *Laughter x100* The entire team: *giggling like hyenas* Ghost: Uh, that’s a no. I don’t think we’ve done that.

-- Price: *smiles at Soap & Gaz being stupid* Y/N: I like when you smile. Price: …huh? Y/N: Your smile, I like it. Makes your eyes crinkle up and your beard makes you look like a cuddly bear. You should smile more. Price, internally on the verge of tears: *fond sigh* Get back to drills, soldier. Y/N: Yes sir!

-- Ghost: *minding his fucking business* Y/N: You have pretty eyes. Ghost: *chokes on air* Pardon? Y/N: You have pretty eyes. Ghost: No I-…they’re just brown. Y/N: So? Your eyes don’t have to be blue or green to be pretty. They’re pretty because they’re expressive, and when the sun hits them they look like syrup. I like’em best when we’re all at a bar. They get brighter then. Ghost: Ghost: …stop talking, sergeant. Y/N: Copy that, L.T! <3

-- Gaz: *laughing at something on his phone* Y/N: You have a great laugh. Gaz: Hm? Oh…really? Y/N: Mhm. It’s cute, comes from your chest. I’ve never heard you laugh in anyway that’s not genuine. Really fills the room with joy. Gaz: Dude, you’re gonna make me all soft with words like that. Y/N: All according to plan!

-- Soap: *rambling about something* Y/N: *listening intently* Soap: Then-…ah, I been talkin’ at you this whole time, eh? Should probably quiet down. Y/N: No no, I like your voice! Soap: Eh? Y/N: It’s super energetic and loud, and when you tell a joke or talk about something you love, it’s like you can hear your smile. It’s really fun to listen to. I like when you talk! Soap: *inhale* You’re gonna make me cry- Y/N: I have tissues!

-- König: *fidgeting* Y/N: *takes his hands* You have beautiful hands. König: Wh- Huh?? No they are not. Y/N: They are too! König: Nien, they’re rough and calloused, they break a lot of things… Y/N: They also pet stray cats, make the best coffee on base, and create crotchet works of art. They also mend wounds pretty well. Yeah they fire guns but that doesn’t make them less beautiful. König: *he’s actually crying* …Danke. Y/N: Don’t mention it!

-- Rudy: *rolling his shoulder* Y/N: Anyone ever tell you that you have great shoulders? Rudy: Hm? Oh uh…no, I don’t believe so. Y/N: Well you do! Rudy: Ah, gracias. When I was younger I wanted them to be broader, sometimes now I wish they were more narrow. Can never really be happy with’em, you know? Y/N: Well I think you should be. They’re strong! *gently pats his shoulders* They hold a lot of weight, metaphorically and physically. And even when they’re weighed down, you shoulder it and keep moving. You’re real good at that! I like your shoulders. Rudy, prepared to die for them: …gracias. Y/N: No problem! Now c’mon, the guys are waitin’ for us!

-- Y/N: You have good collarbones. Alejandro: What was that? Y/N: Sorry, I know that’s real specific, but I think your collarbones are pretty. It’s like…the rest of you is bulky and strong, rugged. Then you have these delicate bones. I’m probably being too poetic but it’s like a subtle nod to your gentler side, just, built into your body. Alejandro: …you have a lovely way with words, camarada. Y/N: Thank you! I appreciate that!!

[yourlittlebunnyy]

kitty cat azriel x f!reader

main masterlist - azriel masterlist

summary: meow meow meow

warnings: fluffiest fluff🥹

w/c: 1.6k

enjoy! 🐈

"i kinda want to adopt a kitty." you say out of nowhere. cassian, who was blatantly talking about some new illyrian techniques, immediately shuts up.

"woah, why? you know im allergic to those things." he says brushing off his shoulders some invisible hair, always with his theatrical behavior. you roll your eyes, faking annoyance. "dont talk like this!"

"like what?" he asks confused. your little shopping walk near to an end as you take the street that will lead you to your house.

"you're talking about kitties as they were things. like, bad things." you explain, pointing an accusatory finger at him. he shrugs his shoulders.

"look at you," he chuckles, some dimples appear on his cheeks, visible through his beard. "acting like my opinion would change yours."

you smirk, an idea popping into your mind like a blinding light that you cant ignore. "you know what? you're so right."

"told ya." he winks. "so, what now? are we going to buy a cat?" he stops walking, waiting for your answer. you dont even think twice.

minutes later, you're in front of a pet shelter. "stupid me. i would have thought id die in a battle as a warrior. turns out im gonna die because of some stupid beasts." you ignore him, deeply offended by his little comment. instead, you look at him with a glare. "what? im stating the truth!" he shrugs his shoulders once again.

the little place is cosy and filled with cute pets. as soon as you open the door, a little bell informs the owner of your presence. cassian decided to stay outside, fearing an imminent death. you find it incredibly ironic, the general of the Night Court forces, an Illyrian warrior, scared of some cute little pets.

it doesnt take you long. with the help of the sweet owner, who turns out to be a old lady, you immediately find what you were looking for. as soon as you saw her, a lovely little cat sleeping in her kennel, you knew you had to give her a home.

"found it?" cassian is on your side the moment you step out of the shelter. a smile brightens your features. "yeppy!" you exclaim, excited and incredibly proud of your choice. the little cat rests on your arms umbothered, occasionally purring when you give her some soft caresses under her neck. "isnt she just so adorable?" you squeal.

cassian looks at you, then at the animal between your arms, then at you again, a look of disgust on his face. "whatever." he says. you roll your eyes at him, this time not faking annoyance. "you're so boring." you protest. "i dont wanna see you for at least a week."

"goodbye to you too, y/n." he laughs, waving with his hand as you enter your home. "and good luck with Az."

telling your mate you adopted a cat will be a funny mission. you know he wouldnt actually be mad, but you like to play with him too much. and he, unfortunately, likes when you play with him too much.

"azzie, how mad would you be?" you're laying together on the bed, the morning sun enters the room, kissing with warmth your skin.

"depends, love. what have you done this time?" he murmurs against the skin of your neck, his face hidden in your collarbone.

"wait, why do you always assume i did something?" you complain, putting some space to look at your mate straight into his pretty hazel eyes, a dramatic look on your face.

he smirks, a relaxed yet sleepy expression painting his face into the most beautiful shade of happiness. you can only believe you reflect the same emotions on your skin. "hmm, well, then tell me what would make me mad."

he shifts, trying to reposition himself closer just like moments ago. "let's suppose i feel alone when you work." you start.

maybe the choice of words wasnt the best one, since the look on your mate's face when you said that was pure horror. "i dont mean that!"

"dont ever do that again, please, love." he whispers, pressing a kiss on your naked shoulder. you always loved moments like this, slow and full of love and softness. its a shame, really, that you have to admit this little thing to azriel. "okay, azzie." you say, placing a sweet peck on his lips.

"go ahead, then." he encourages you. you smile trying to hide the fact that you're nervous, but of course azriel can feel it. "love, are we still supposing?"

you look at him in the eyes, biting your lip. "no, i guess you were right. i did something."

"its okay." he reassures. a scarred hand gently caresses your face. "just tell me. wont be mad, i promise." his words are muffled by your own skin.

"i was feeling alone, as i said." he nods and the gesture gives you time to take a deep breath. "i know its always been you and i..."

you can literally feel his heart skip a bit, and you almost laugh. "y/n... you said-"

you force yourself to fake guilt. its true, you did something, not as horrendous as bringing a third to your lovely relationship, but this doesnt mean you cant play a little with your mate. "i know, im sorry."

this time its his turn to put some space between you two, the pure look of betrayal makes your heart clench. it doesnt last long, tho. his face quickly changes in something more raw, rage fills his eyes.

"azzie..." you try to explain.

"how can you lay on this bed?" his voice is deep, cold. you know what he's trying to do - shutting down all the emotions, playing the spymaster role. "how can you-"

"azriel." you try again. he shakes his head, moving until your bodies no longer touch. it leaves you cold, and guilt fills you head.

"i... i need a moment." he explain, even tho he doesnt owe you anything. your hearts clenches in your chest.

"let me explain." he looks at you while he gets up to find some clothes. you dont let your gaze wonder on his perfect sculpted body, instead, you hold the eye contact. "its not what you think."

"its not what i think? and what should i think?" his words are red with rage, filled with venom. "you were feeling alone, and-" at this point, you cant hold a little giggle. "oh, you're laughing, now?"

"my love, you completely misunderstood!" his forehead wrinkles with confusion. he opens his mouth, ready to speak and probably ask for a further explanation, but you dont let him.

you get up, uncaring of the state you are, naked and vulnerable, and quickly disappear behind the door of your room. you appear seconds later, a nightie covering your body and your hands hidden behind your back. "little friend." its all you say.

"y/n, you better-" you show him what you're hiding, and he stops in the middle of the sentence. you can see how quickly his expression changes, you can feel every emotion he's feeling.

the first look is surprise, then confusion, then an adorable smile adorns his pretty face, lightening his eyes with joy. "love, i thought-" a laugh interrupts him, contagious to the point you let out a little giggle too.

"surprise!" you smile, bringing the little animal to your chest, cuddling it with little caresses between its ears.

his eyes soften, watching the scene with adoration. he walks until he stands right in front of you. "a cat?" he asks, he raises his hand tentatively and let him cuddle the little pet too.

you look at him through your lashes, putting on the sweetest and most innocent expression ever. "i was feeling alone..." he rolls his eyes jokingly.

"i hate you." he teases. you tease him back, a smile adorning both your faces. "nuh-uh. i know you love me, azzie." he chuckles, placing a naive kiss on your lips.

you carefully pass the cat to him. "so you're not mad?" he shakes his head. you watch as he caresses the cat's fur with his fingertips, the touch so soft its barely there. you swear you fall in love with this man more and more every day.

"do you already have a name?" he asks, but his eyes are still concentrated on the little creature he is holding. its so small that one of his hands is enough to cover it all. "no. all i know is that its a she. but isnt she so cute?" you squeal, hugging the both of them, careful not to squeeze the kitty.

"shes purring!" azriel realizes, he looks at you like a little kid that just got the present he wanted for so long. gods, you really love this man.

"she already loves you, azzie. look, she is also sleeping."

"and?" he asks. you answer as its the most obvious thing in the whole Prythian. "means she trusts you!" you press a kiss on his cheek, then a little kiss on the top of her little head, feeling the vibrations of the purr on your lips.

you stay silent for a bit, just enjoying the little moment and the new member of your family. its azriel who breaks the silence first. "kitty."

"what?" you ask confused.

"we could name her kitty. 'cause she's a kitty, you know." you giggle.

you repeat the name, tasting the sound on your lips. "kitty cat." you say almost like a proud mother. "i like it."

hope you enjoyed♡

[allwormdiet]

Extermination 8.5

Skitter is now one for three on interacting with New Wave kids without making them hate her.

Also fun fact I actually hit the image limit while making this post so I had to nix a few of the smaller observations made, there's just that much shit going on

Neat to meet more of New Wave, but boy I wish it was under different circumstances

Also Taylor you were so close to making that descriptor of their anguish work, you shouldn't have acknowledged it

How fucking harrowing must it be to let your daughter go anywhere near the fucking thing that killed your son.

Also I like how even as Skitter realizes that this is not the time or place, she's still indignant at being called "the girl."

What an awful fucking day for all of them. What can even be done, what can even be said?

Just a wet fucking cat of a girl, being carried through the air.

Oh hey Coil, bet your asshole is clenching really fucking hard rn

I wish there was a way for Coil to drown down there without killing Dinah too, but alas

Also absolutely insane that this has all been in the span of, what, an hour? Maybe a little more? What the fuck

And here's Parian proving that she's actually a huge badass

"Why manipulate cloth" honestly my first assumption is that it's bc her power is cloth control

Really fucking funny that people apparently keep thinking that superpowers are magic, though

We hardly knew ye.

I did learn that this is a retcon; Browbeat survived in the initial version of the story, although he quit the Wards in the wake of this attack and never comes up again. The retcon was in... 2019? Reasoning is speculative but I guess people kept making stupid jokes about Browbeat and he got tired of it?

Hey you know what though, really good showing overall, better than a bunch of other capes today

Okay so did this attack go through Leviathan? What the fuck is going on with this Flechette girl, that is utterly fucking cracked. Armsmaster's fucking nanothorns couldn't hack that, what is she doing where her shots do this kinda damage.

Leviathan likes playing with its fucking food, which is weird as hell

This dramatic fucker

God that's so cool, just opening up a fucking chasm in the middle of the battlefield.

...I wonder if it was trying to get into the bunker like Coil was afraid of. I know enough about Noelle to know that could've gone really fucking poorly.

Laserdream is cool, does she get much love in the fandom or is she too peripheral a character for that?

This is kinda funny ngl

That's a lot of fucking dead people, Jesus H

Taylor you are genuinely being too cool about this, your arm is still broken

He can do anything he wants down there, it's terrifying

Very funny that Armsmaster's brand-spanking-new halberd is being put to better use in this fight by people who aren't him and for purposes he didn't intend

Haha, wuh oh!

First indicator that Coil's got some pretty remarkable commercial ties considering he managed to sneak his own fucking Endbringer shelter in for private use and nobody noticed.

Also, god that's gotta be fucking terrifying

...I think like 99% of things that have come up in this arc are fucking terrifying if we're being real for a second but I'm gonna keep saying it

Seeing someone who treats you like dirt and have a happy life outside of treating you like dirt is a certain kind of agony. Also fuck Gladly on principle tbh.

Ah fuck

She could have so easily given into spite and let them all suffer and die. She was under no obligation beyond her own drive to be good, to be better, to be better than Gladly. And that's why she's among the best of these fucking people.

And so the bug girl, both creepy AND wet, goes in there and saves everyone left standing by shoving the Halberd up Levi's nonexistent asshole and baiting him back out the shelter

She's a bigger hero than so many of the others

This might be one of the most intensely and personally terrifying moments of all. Paralysis and drowning hand in hand. A slow and insidious kind of horror.

Rachel Lindt MVP

Well hey, cool of Rachel to be concerned though

They should be giving Bitch the key to the fucking city for this, honestly

This poor girl sacrificed the closest thing she has to family to buy even a fraction of extra time for this asscrack of a city

And then there's this fucking asshole

Imagine if God thought you, personally and specifically, fucking sucked. What a weird feeling that must be.

Skipping past the downturn in the fighting and the teleportation bc we have to get to the conclusion of the chapter

Taylor did more to save this whole city than any of these people can even imagine, and they manhandle her into a cot and cuff her broken-ass arm because y'can't be too careful with villains, can you

This is going to go so poorly

Current Thoughts

Taylor did more, in the moment-to-moment breakdown of tracking, fighting, and responding to Leviathan, than like 90% of the other capes in this whole fucking deal, and nobody will ever know the full extent of it. She might have honestly saved more lives than Armsmaster, because he was too busy fucking grandstanding in the moments leading up to his, ahaha, disarmament.

Skitter is a hero, idgaf what anyone says. She earned better than what she's about to be fucking put through, that's for sure.

[wayfayrr]

The Menace read your answer and this is funny as you stayed in Legend of Zelda but don't worry you have other chances to get another character from another world or game.

So gather 'round, sit back, relax and please stay in your seat. Kick your feet up and grab some popcorn. Oh, and of course, lest we not forget, enjoy the show.

Here goes a Reader which probably is the most soft but also strict one. A master with the trident! This is Mipha!Reader

Reader is the Champion of the Zoras and their beloved next ruler.

They have the gift of healing others and themself but also to heal the water.

They are 55 to 65 years old. Zoras age slower then Hylians.

What only very few know is that Reader has a beautiful singing voice and they use it to put Sidon to sleep.

They are a master with the trident.

They are not a ghost but a living version from Age of Calamity.

Reader almost could give Calamity the armour but they both were thrown into a portal.

They are a very fast swimmer compared to Wild when he wears the full Zora Armour set. They can also breath underwater.

They only have a hunch why Sidon reacted so sad as he had to leave.

They are the epitome of elegance.

They love their younger brother to bits and only wants the best for him. That's why they teached him how to swim a waterfall up and how to surf down.

Most of the Chain would be jealous probably as Reader loves Wild and Calamity.

They just see they same boy they fell in love with in both of them. These two fight like cats and dogs for their attention and affection.

Twilight wanted to help Wild but also fell in love.

Hyrule was just relieved to have another healer with them.

Funny enough Sidon, his father and Muzu are Yandere too! The older version of Sidon, obviously. Sidon lost his sibling and Muzu and Dorephan practically their child and now to have Reader stand there in the Zora Domain once again and looking around as so much changed? They don't want them to go like Sidon had to.

Sidon wants to say so many things to them and learn from them. Muzu cried as they stepped into the throne room at first and thought it was their spirit. It was very emotional as they bowed down to their father before being hugged by him and Muzu.

So those three are very overprotective over Reader and forbid them to go with the Chain.

How they met.

Reader's PoV:

I walked around as I finally managed it out of Lake Hylia and was looking for Link. We both fell into this portal but got separated as I landed alone in Lake Hylia. I was around the Zora Domain and got stared at. I was kinda freaked out because of it. It was my home or so I thought. I noticed that Ruta was on a mountain so if the people need protection I have to climb onto it. Maybe I should put Ruta somewhere else. I was on the main plaza and saw a statue of me. I was more than confused as this was me right know. I turned around and saw many Zoras looking at me with their eyes wide. I waved at the children with a smile and they began to laugh before they ran to me.

„Are you your Highness Reader?“

„Yes, I am sorry I really would like to talk to you little ones but I have to talk to my father.“ I apologized to the children who nodded and took my hand to guide me to the throne room.

I giggled and we stopped at the stairs that leaded to the throne room.

„Thank you, I really appreciate your assistance.“ I petted them before climbing the stairs carefully.

Everyone looked at me strangely here. Link was gone, even as he managed to become my appointed knight, however he managed to do that.

I could multiple men talking two of them were definitely Muzu and father but one sounded like the Sidon from the future. If I travelled through time then were was my future version? Did I really die? I only had suspicions but that would explain all the stares and the statue. I didn't notice that I stopped as I heard the voices. So I continued my way up.

„We are busy with a meeting please come back later.“ they only heard my steps as one of the men called me out but I didn't stop.

As I was in eye sight I could hear gasps and someone running at me. As I stopped I was relieved to see Link coming at me.

„Link. I'm so glad to see you. I was worried as we got separated.“ he only nodded but it didn't bother me he will speak to me on his own accord I know it.

I looked over him and saw injuries again which I began to heal immediately. „You never change do you. Always when you injured you come to me and I will heal you, do you understand?“

He blushed slightly but nodded. As I was finished I walked towards my father and future Sidon. Muzu began to cry!

„Muzu is everything alright?! Are you hurt?! Are you in pain?!“ I rushed towards him and fretted a bit. Which was kinda embarrassing as I completely lost my composure.

But he hugged me tightly and I hugged him back. I stroke his head and turned to my father and Sidon.

„Father, Sidon please tell me what happened to me? I've never seen Muzu cry like that before. Did... Did I die during the Calamity?“

„I'm sorry Reader. I couldn't tell you, it already broke me to part from you but then also tell you I never got my sibling seeing me growing up? It was to much.“ said Sidon and I nodded understandably.

„Don't worry Sidon. I understand but I'm sure that I saw you grow up and becoming the Zora you are know. Just not with a body.“ I separated from Muzu and hugged my younger brother. He even lifted me up and pressed me against him.

„It was nice seeing you but I think you know what I will going to say, aren't you?“

„You can't leave! Just stay here a little longer!!“

„But only for a bit. I have something at home and I want to get it... For someone.“ Sidon giggled and turned me around so I could see the men which were talking to father.

But I was left speechless, there were two Links and one of them was wearing the very armour I crafted. Sidon let me down and I stepped towards the two Links.

„You are Link.“ I looked at the Link who I got separated from and he nodded his head. „And you are also Link.“ I looked at the one in the armour and only then I noticed his scars on the side of his face! I immediately began to heal it as I saw some scratch marks on it. The Link began to giggle and just took my hand into his.

He smiled softly and I turned bright red. Then the other Link ripped my hand out of the grip of the other. He pushed me behind him which let me shriek and grip onto his shoulders for footing. Link growled at the other Link. I know he is protective over me but that is not like him.

„Link everything alright?“ I asked from behind him and he nodded before looking at the group of blonde men.

„Reader, you may come from another time. But I'm still your father, so you are forbidden to travel with these heroes of the past.“

„Father! But... But I have to go back! I'm still the Champion of the Zoras and Vah Ruta's pilot! Vah Ruta only listens to me. I have to go back! What is when something happens to Sidon! It will hurt this Sidon as well! My duty as a Zora Royal is to look after my people and our Domain but how can I do that if you don't let me!“

„Reader. You listen what I have to say. You will not go with these men, do you hear me?“

„You can't stop me!“ with that I dashed to the side and jumped into the water. And in mere seconds I was swimming the waterfall up. I already could hear many knights of the Zoras following me and the other Link too!

„I'm sorry father... But as the next ruler I have to decline your order. I will go back to my time... As I don't belong here...“ I ran away to were Vah Ruta was standing. It's hard to get into it as soon as I activate the defense mechanism of the beast. I only have to be faster. Good I always was the fastest Zora in water!

That's how they met and before you think. Mipha would definitely listen to her father if he orders her to stay. I know but I have to remind you. This isn't Mipha, that Mipha died because of the water blight, and Reader knows it. That's why they decline and run away. They know they don't belong in this time. They belong to Calamity's era and they have to go back there. That's why they disobey. Normally they would listen like the good child they are. But they know they don't belong there! Wild definitely will be with Calamity the first Yandere before the other even fell in love with Reader. Calamity almost lost them and Wild did lost them. Even Flora would try to convince Reader to stay! So she isn't alone, so she has at least one of her dead friends back in her life. So these two will be protective even if Reader can defend themself with their trident. They have to protect them! Wild and them are practically engaged and Calamity is their appointed knight! But Calamity now knows what Reader wanted to give and say to him. Well, Reader has now two fiancées theoretically speaking. But after the Chain fall in love one by one as Reader is like a rose. A delicate and beautiful flower but also has thorns to protect themself. Well, they all want to have a Zora armour gifted by them, even if Twilight and Time have one, they want one from Reader as it means that they are engaged and to be married. But it is hard as Reader, even if they care about the whole group, is already in love with Calamity and Wild. So they obviously give them more attention as they are in love and let me tell you, these two will not only be smug about that. Oh no, they basically show it off. Reader can talk about poetry with Warriors but as soon as they see Wild with injuries because his shield "broke" while shield surfing on Death Mountain. They rush towards him and begin to heal him. Or they listen to Sky as he explains how different the Zoras from his era look compared to them but as soon as Calamity comes to them and just wants to hug because of a "nightmare". They hug him close and cradle Calamity but still listening to Sky until Calamity whined then all their attention is on him. If the Chain boys have alone time with Reader there is a 95 % chance that Wild or Calamity or Wild AND Calamity will butt in with something. They do that to each other too. But the Chain knows they can't say anything to Reader as they have a bleeding heart and they would want them to get them mad because of it. They are their precious and darling sea rose after all.

It's been about 10 days since I got this now 😅 I took a bit of an accidental break with how exhausted I've been but back to mipha reader!!! and It's amazing as always <333

Mipha reader is going to have a very interesting dynamic with the chain, because the zora are not going to let reader go if they have any say in it what so ever. only another portal from whoever is creating them is going to have any hope of getting them away. They lost you already so long ago - like hell is that happening again

I think AoC link could feel almost entitled to reader over the others, they're from his world, they made him the zora armour, it's only because of him that the rest even met you. seeing wild in the crafted set could make him a lot more possessive of you too, cause it's an immediate threat to his relationship with you

granted they could work together to keep you to themselves rather than sharing you with the rest of the chain, they're your two fiances and the rest of the chain could be gone for all they care

I think the pressure to have zora armour could damage the others relationship with them though, seeing as they have to use their own scales to make it which can't be pleasant really and if they're in the domain with their father, retainer and brother then no way in hell is that going to be made for even a single other link no matter how hard they push - and hopefully time doesn't bring up ruto

and with wild/cal stealing their attention whenever possible? no matter how much the chain love reader they aren't going to be getting their attention any time soon over the fiances <3

[princelylove]

Hi, accidentally stumble in your blog~ I love yandere jojo contents too so I hope to see your content about it :D

I don't know what to request yet but maybe we can talk about type of yandere. What is your favorite type of yandere? Mine is delusion or simp yandere (what characters in jojo you think they will be in this category btw)

Delusional types are adorable to me. There’s just something so charming about someone who’s so bent on being together that their brain skips the entire courting process and goes right into “We’re dating. No actually we’re married and have been married since forever and even our past lives were married. You belong to me what do you mean I have to stop calling for fifteen days.” I think my favored type is protective, but delusionals are too cute to pass on. As for those I think are delusional or simps, off the top of my head…

I’d also argue that Mista’s the type to simp, he’s pretty sure he’ll die if you carry your own shopping bags, but he doesn’t strike me as delusional. Love’s gotta be real to him, you know? He’s the kind of guy that can take a maybe, hell, even a hard no! He knows how to back off, but he’s just gonna keep watch from over here if that’s cool with you. I mean, come on, what kinda “friend” would he be if he let you open your own doors or pay for your own meal? He’s got a job, it’s totally on him! Don’t even think about trying to step over that puddle yourself, he’s already got you up by your legs to carry you across. He’s pretty strong, isn’t he? Oh, he’d die a happy man if you praised him for something like that. He’s like a dog whose tail just won’t stop wagging. You’re his everything, why wouldn’t he try to do things for you all the time? That isn’t weird, don’t shove him into the same category as creepy guys who never give up! It’s like typical hollywood stuff, you know? Romanticism or whatever! 

You know who’s fully delusional, though? I say this with lots of love, but Diego. He just cannot fathom the idea of someone rejecting him, I mean, what’s wrong with him? He’s the prince of the british horseracing world, how DARE you reject him??? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with him, don’t play hard to get with him of all people! You should be begging for his attention, not the other way around, but here we are. Diego fully believes that you were made for him, you just don’t understand the gravity (I do think I’m funny for this wordplay) of the situation yet. No matter what happens, you’re always going to be his. As long as he’s got it in his head that you’re more of an object than a real person who has thoughts and feelings like he does, he’s not really going to care about your ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Look, pigeons are just meant to be led, and he’s already somewhat fond of you, so just let him have what he wants. I’m firmly of the belief that if you ever flat out rejected him, he’d just think you were unwell and needed him even more. Be good for him, he doesn’t have the time to play this silly little game of cat and mouse with you right now. 

Joseph is another “You can’t play hard to get forever!” type to me, honestly. He’s persistent like a bloodhound, and is going to get in the way of whatever lover or relationship you’ve got going on right now no matter what. He called dibs on you, so, it’s totally fair. He’ll show up to your apartment or house and completely ignore his training if it means getting just a glimpse of you. So what if he’s got a ring in his throat, he wants to put a ring on your finger! Joseph goes the extra mile for you- literally. If you were to move out of town, he’d walk all the way to your new place if he had to. Joseph won’t be deterred so easily. You just wanted him to get some exercise, right, babe? That’s so thoughtful of you! It makes his day when you look his way, especially if you actually catch him showing off with his training. If you were to actually talk to him, or god forbid compliment him, he’d be reeling for a week. He trails behind you on your errands, taking notes mentally of where you go and what you get. One day he’ll know it by heart, and then you won’t even have to go on errands anymore! Unless you want to go with him, that is. Then he’s totally down for a little couple’s day out. Joseph will buy you whatever you want as long as he gets his fix in. Let him put his head on your lap and just stare, and he’ll be thrilled. I don’t necessarily believe that Joseph would kidnap you if you broke his fantasy too many times, but you’re definitely going to start losing a lot of personal time. It doesn’t matter how he got into your apartment, he made dinner. Haha, ok, you caught him. He ordered dinner. 

I think it’s fairly obvious to say that Yukako is delusional. She has a warped sense of reality. Her crimes really don’t matter to her because she’s making up for it. Look, look, she cooked for you. Stop trying to go for the door or the window. Yukako loves you, so you’re going to be perfect for her, and you’re going to be perfect together. She’s firm about never leaving your side even though she’s already got you all to herself. She sees nothing wrong with skipping dating and going right to locking you up if she thinks you need her for something. You’re failing at that cooking class that school made you take despite your pleas not to? She can do that. You’re awful with directions? She knows every little corner of town. You actually don’t need her and are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself? Don’t talk like that. You need her. There’s absolutely no reason to deny her, so let’s do this the cutesy way she wants it. 

[just-another-author-i-guess]

A little collection of fun things Judd does

Tags: fem! Reader, mentions of drugs, alcohol, pyromania?, just Judd things yk, maybe he should be a warning in himself, there’s like one brief mention of sex, generally creepy behavior, Judd being an unironic edge lord, author was sleep deprived

Playlist: I made him a fun little playlist, I tried very hard not to be biased and add songs I actually think he’d listen to instead of just songs I like lol

But! if you’d like to listen to some of Judd’s jams, you can do so HERE

Summary: part 2 to my Judd hc’s, read part one HERE

Author’s note: this,, just came to me. I’ve been taking random thoughts I had about Judd and added them to a docs document, and would you look at that! These hc’s wrote themselves! I think I babygirlyfied him a little bit, but yk what? He is my baby girl 💪

Just Judd things

Word count; 1,9K

Judd birch is known for many things, one of them being his smell

He always smells a bit.. funny

Not bad, just kinda like raccoons and alcohol, it’s an interesting smell

Often he also smells like some kinda polish, either because he’s been polishing his car or his knives

I’m sorry if I ruin y’all’s illusion, but he DOES NOT shower unless absolutely necessary

He only really showers if someone (probably you or his mom lol) tells him to, or if he had a particularly sweaty workout

Also, he would never admit this but sometimes he showers just to impress you

Always carries that certain Judd musk yk

He’s also one of those guys who washes their face like once every full moon but somehow still has flawless skin

If you ever convinced him to let you do his eyeliner, he would also not wash it off, just let it sit there and bake unless you washed it off for him

Anyways

Judd is mean as hell, a gaping asshole in his own words

But, he does respect his family somewhat

Even loves them a bit, if he’s being completely honest

Especially Diane

He holds a strong sense of respect for his mom, way more than his dad

It’s not like he’s gonna stop making low key misogynistic jokes for shits and giggles, but he often tries to dial back the cursing in front of her

Like he values her opinions and praise of him the most out of his family

He’s also super protective, mostly of his younger siblings

Like I mentioned before, he definitely has that kinda “edgy” humour

The guy probably says a lot of controversial stuff just to get a reaction

He literally pretends not to be a feminist just to piss off leah

(In reality, he genuinely doesn’t give one single shit about feminism)

Likewise he also just disagrees with whatever his family says just because they said it

But he will not hesitate to physically or verbally beat anyone who starts shit with his siblings

Forget all about is asshole-ness and such, he will obliterate anyone who hurt his siblings

Only he’s allowed to fuck with them lol

When he told Nick “you’ll die when I say you die” he really meant it

He actually also values the raccoons quite a bit

When he goes on his drunken rambles, they’re always there to listen yk

He has friends,, kinda, like he has people he tolerates more than others but he honestly doesn’t mind doing things alone

He enjoys his own company

But also the raccoons

It’s like a mentally unstable girl and her support cat, Judd just has his gang of raccoons

(He tells them all his secrets)

I feel like he would genuinely enjoy the company of an animal way more than people, not limited to raccoons

But he’s not nice to them, he’s never nice to anyone he cares about

He’s just doesn’t grasp the idea, being nice verbally means nothing to him

He’s a man of physical and action-based affirmations

It’s the little things that counts for him

Unless he knows someone who values affirming words, ect his family or girlfriend, he will very rarely go out of his comfort zone to grant them such

He’s so awkward verbally stating his feelings too omg,,

“Dad.. I.. love you..?” He’s like that each time he tries to come across as sincere, it’s like he’s questioning it as he’s speaking lol

He was like that as a kid too, he’s always just enjoyed creeping people out

He takes pride in his weirdness

The guy is very morally grey, the only thing he truly wants ever is the cause chaos

Or inflicting stress/pain on his siblings somehow

He doesn’t rough Leah up like he would with Nick, but he knows just how to get into her head

That’s another thing, he knows everyone’s business

Literally

Between hiding in the vents, being the designated dealer in town and generally the quiet kid in school, he knows what everyone’s up to

Even Nick and Leah’s friends

Knows all their names too

His parents definitely took him to a psychiatrist when he was younger, he was a very difficult child to deal with

Think gremlin meets Chucky

That’s baby Judd

His parents supported him though, and still do

Elliot especially tries to take interest in whatever Judd likes, bands, movies, setting things on fire, ect

Also, music wise, I think he’d really like the misfits

Probably also three days grace and oooh, definitely rob zombie

He just strikes me as that kinda guy

But also, he doesn’t know shit about the hands he listens to

He doesn't care enough to get into the people behind the music, you could literally ask him who’s in the band who wrote his favourite song and he wouldn’t know

Takes the term “separate the art from the artist” to a whole new level

If he doesn’t listen to music, he’s the type of dude to literally put “horror movie ambience” or “pov you’re getting murdered asmr” on or whatever the fuck

Also, he’s the type to strictly listen to music on YouTube, with adds because he doesn’t want to pay

He only has burner phones anyways, so he has to listen to music on his computer or whatever, he has a shit ton of obscure cd’s in his car though that he listens to as well

And on the topic of phones, because of his less than usual choice, literally no one has his number

Probably only Leah has his number? I feel like he’d only give it to her and maybe his girlfriend if you’re lucky

Leah has to text him like “mom says dinner is ready in 10” or “dad told me to text you to please come home soon” stuff like that, and she’s so done with it

He somehow has everyone’s number though

You’ll randomly get a text if he needs you, and he never tells you who it’s from

He will literally text you “I’m in your house” without any disclosure

Maybe he’ll add a few blurry pictures of something in your house as well

Oh but if he’s actually trying to scare you, expect pictures he took of rotting roadkill or a bloody ziplock back or something he found

He just loves gore and violence <3

Another thing he really, really, enjoys is scaring people

He deliberately hides behind doors or curtains to scare his family, he’s also really good at just being super silent?

If he doesn’t want to be found, you’re not gonna find him

If you sleep over at his house and use the bathroom by his room to brush your teeth, the fucker will be standing behind you in the mirror when you come up from rinsing your mouth

He scares those he cares about, what can I say

Well he also scares everyone else, he’s kinda feral

As I said before, it’s not like he doesn’t socialise at all, bc like, he’s literally everyone’s dealer

Idek where he gets his stuff from, but everyone knows Leah and Nick as Judd’s little siblings because they have bought from him one time or another

Not only limited to drugs, he also always has alcohol

(He robbed a liquor store)

Somehow they never found out it was him?? Even though it’s exceedingly obvious and he keeps doing it every other week or so

Some of your dates casually turns into “hey let’s rob a store” and it’s actually so chill

As a consequence of his never ending supply of Jack Daniel’s, he’s like chronically hung over

Always kinda tired and complaining that his head hurts

Literally has a hangover 6 out of 7 days of the week

He also has a bit of a pyromaniac streak

Sometimes buildings in town just sorta,, burn down

I feel like people in town know it’s Judd, but the police force is actually useless so again, he never gets caught

Actually he got caught once, because he was high and accidentally left a lighter at the crime scene

It was before he turned 18 though, so he got no major consequences besides like a night in jail and being grounded for a really long time

I imagine that might have been why he ran away? Man’s didn’t want to deal with the aftermath of his own consequences

He actually really likes consequences of things, just not when it actually turns out to be inconvenient for him

But like, he’s really fascinated by watching things slowly unfold if yk what I mean

He’s quite a patient guy, he literally had the patience to train a whole ass battalion of raccoons

But my point is, he can wait a long periods of time while plotting his sinister plans

He’s a supervillain at heart fr

And as I said before, he exists to cause chaos

I feel like he would literally worship the chaos theory, and he would definitely mansplain it to you

Judd doesn’t believe in god, but he believes in the chaos theory

That’s probably why he’s so into horror, but like a certain kind

He doesn’t really care too much about paranormal or psychological horror

He still watches it, but it’s just not his favourite

What he really loves, is the gorefests

Murderporn if you will

He lives and breathes bloody slasher movies, where people get pointlessly murdered left and right

Literally the more gritty the better

Especially if it’s one of those where all the women gets murdered with their tits out

Horror movies makes him horny help—

No but actually, he’s so annoying to watch them with, because even if it’s a movie he likes HE WILL NOT STOP COMMENTING

starts muttering every other minute about how that flesh wound is not realistic and how it would actually look

How does he know this? You don’t want to ask

But back to the horny part, if you’re dating him, you almost always fuck to horror movies instead of music

If Judd puts on a horror movie, yk what he’s initiating

It’s either that, or he lets you choose the music in his car

Two very subtle, but yet very clear demands of what he wants

Another thing, he loves when you scratch him up

On his chest, on his back, anywhere

Just having those long, red nail marks on his skin does stuff to him

The same with leaving marks on you, he’s so into it

He needs you to be absolutely as bitten and bruised up as you can possibly be

And it doesn’t limit to you, no, no please, bite him back

He’ll love it

(People around you are slightly concerned)

Now I’ve just listed a bunch of things he likes, but like whatever he’s doing, he’s gonna seem super indifferent

He’s just,,, always scowling

My man’s not coded to show joy

Wait okay no, but like he can smile, it just looks unnatural lol

Sometimes, he even laughs (mainly when others are in misery)

But generally, he’s just pretty stoic

And also, he doesn’t truly have that many opinions on stuff

He literally doesn’t care, but that’s kinda expected for someone who’s biggest wish is to go permanently off the grid

Like, he could be delivered the deadliest insult ever, or see a house burning down or something and he would still be like ._.

It takes quite a lot to get him to move his face muscles, is what I’m saying

Generally, it’s gonna take a lot to get him to care about anything

Wow 🤩 more judd headcannons

These were a bit pointless ig, but I enjoyed making them haha, I hope you enjoyed it! And if you listened to the playlist, I hope that was alright too 💪

Tags: @dlfvrr @bxbyyyjocelyn

[class-1b-bull]

Hi, could you do class headcanons of them with a s/o who Loves to info-dump on history horros?

Basically going “Did you know about lobotomies..? It was a pre-quirk procedure that involved sticking a giant needle trough the eye of an awake patient to “Fix their brain”, it only made it worse though.

(Btw if you feel this like to dark feel free to deny it, also glad to have you back 👋🏼❤️)

Not proofread we die like men

Awase - every time you tell him something like that he gets a little more worried about how life was before quirks lmao. Like people willingly poked at eachothers brains? Hes more surprised every time and its hilarious

Sen - he uses any information you gave him to win internet arguments. Instead of L + Ratio he hits them with the horrors of history to shut them up (anyways unrelated but he bullies kids in video games)

Kamakiri - 'im gonna give you a fucking lobotomy if you dont stfu.' He will act like he dosent care but hes secretly kinda interested in it all. If he has questions about it he will look them up himself later instead of asking.

Kuroiro - the dark history ranting is his favorite thing ever. He spends a little bit of his free time looking up some dark history himself so he can maybe tell you about something you haven't learned yet yk.

Kendo - idcidc shes a major history nerd. She loves all things history related so even if its a bit dark shes interested. Shes only interested in history because shes a strong believer of learning from your mistakes and whatnot and she thinks its important to know.

Kodai - shes indifferent about it. She thinks its a little weird but shes not one to judge since everyone has their stranger side ykyk? She just silently listens along to whatever her s/o is ranting about this time lmao

Komori - she finds it a little creepy but at the same time she cant stop listening to her s/o talk about it lmao. (Just dont give her these 'fun facts' late at night or else she might not be able to sleep)

Shiozaki - shes happy to hear you talking about something your interested it but she does worry a bit about those who were affected in the past by something thats just a fun fact now (if that makes sense) like shes interested in the topic but at the same time it makes her a little sad that people actually had to get lobotomys at one point ya know?

Shishida - he seems like the type to be excited to learn something new so every time his s/o tells him about something that happened a long time ago like that hes real happy. (Despite how dark it is)

Shoda - ngl he finds it a bit scary lmao. He finds it interesting and hes happy to hear you talk about it but at the same time hes a bit intimidated

Pony - she thinks its cool and creepy at the same time. Like shes happy and excited to see her s/o talk about something their interested in but at the same time why did it have to be that of all things.

Tsubaraba - he will listen to his s/o for hours at a time it doesn't matter to him what theyre talking about. He is a little intimidated but its fine lmaoo

Tetsutetsu - he thinks your super smart for knowing so much about things like that and he tries his best to give imput but most of it comes out as him saying 'torture dosent seem manly' or smthn like that lmao

Tokage - she loves when her s/o starts to ramble about one of the creepy facts they like. She always gives the most over the top reactions too lmao

Manga - he likes listening to you talk about the creepy stuff his s/o likes while drawing. Its kinda funny since his s/o will tell him about smthn creepy asf and then manga will just show them the cat he just drew.

Honenuki - he thinks its cool and actually becomes really interested in the topic while hes listening to his s/o talk about it. He starts to ask questions and starts going on his own little rambles when hes with them

Bondo - hes a little scared ngl but at the same time he thinks its really cute to watch his s/o ramble lol. So overall hes kinda 50/50 about his s/o's lobotomy rants lmaoo

Monoma - he will talk so much trash lmao. He'll tell his s/o that its creepy or whatnot but at the same time he'll get mad if they stop talking to him about it.

Reiko - she does the exact same thing. So whenever you two are near eachother you just tell eachother all about darker parts of history lmao. 'Did you know about lobotomys?' Vs 'did you know about Japanese(?) water torture?'

Rin - at first he thinks its a bit strange or maybe even creepy but he warms up to the fun facts every now and then. He even gains a bit of an interest himself. Not enough of an interest research it but still.

Gif anime - dungeon meshi

[sorrinslays]

My Craig's gang headcanons

Craig is a mama's boy, sorry, I don't make the rules

Clyde definitely has broken at least onε 3DS in the dumbest way possible, like crying and the tears messing up with the machine or by bragging that his 3DS is indestructible, ending with Cartman sitting on it and crushing it in the process

Tolkien's favourite movie is lion king, don't ask, I have no idea why I thought of that

Jimmy reads those "how to be professionally funny" books religiously

Tweek tried a monster once and nearly had a heart attack from stress because he mentally convinced himself it's stronger than the coffee he normally drinks and his body is going to explode from all the caffeine intake

Craig and Clyde have secret hang outs that they (Clyde) named "best bros date" where they talk about their favourite things (space, dinosaurs, race cars etc.) and watch their favourite cartoons

Tolkien for Jimmy's birthday bought him a microphone so that Jimmy can have improv comedy sessions whenever and wherever he pleases

Tweek had to go throught 'trials' to join Craig's gang. Nothing serious, just normal fourth grader stuff, like having him climb the monkey bars in under fifteen seconds or something like that. Needless to say, the poor boy almost had a panic attack and jugged a whole ass pot of coffee and climbed the bars in one millisecond

Craig and Tolkien go to the bookstore once a month and get a book. It's their way of motivating one another to read more

Clyde and Jimmy once (in their late teens) got super wasted and made a youtube video where they told really bad jokes. It blew up and they woke up to a bunch of analyses video talking about how they are the next big step in making comedy better. They remember nothing and only learned what happened through Craig who found it very entertaining

Tweek accidently ate a small rock once and was freaked out for a week straight thinking he's going to die. The fourth grade ended up playing 'funeral' with everyone having different roles. Tweek was the dead guy

Whenever Craig and Jimmy are left alone unsupervised they go to Craig's basement and make videos in which they just talk for hours about the people they hate and they managed to gather a small cult following by just hating on people

Tolkien and Clyde once crashed a car

Tweek wanted to continue boxing after his and Craig's fight but was scared and nervous to enter a club alone. At some point once he becomes part of Craig's gang, he tells that to the guys and, in order to encourage him to join, all of them (-Jimmy because he's in the comedy club) join. Craig and Tolkien go for kickboxing and Clyde and Tweek go boxing

Craig is the kind of person who knows a lot of random stuff and skills that he never mentions unless it's brought up. He's like that one guy on Tik Tok who knows the bird language, the OwO language, the cat language ect. His friends never know and anytime he's like "oh yeah, I know how to speak Latin, don't worry I can talk to this demon to leave us alone," the guys are like "HUH"

Clyde has the entire Dinosaur wiki memorized

When Tolkien first joined the group he spend days researching everything he could find about the others' interests out of fear he won't be able to participate in conversations or something. After a few one on one conversations Clyde and Jimmy figured it out pretty early own because it was pretty obvious, but Craig never did and still thinks Tolkien is genuinely interested in space and Tolkien doesn't want to break the illusion so he keeps researching and talking about stars and planets and everything else for hours with Craig

Jimmy knows Portuguese, I don't know why or how but it seems like something he would do

Tweek and Clyde weren't on the best terms at first because Clyde was kinda spooked of Tweek's tics since he didn't understand them, but overtime he learned that Tweek is a pretty cool dude

Craig loves to cook and clean, it's relaxing to him because he can just go through the notions and end up being productive. His friends have tasted his cooking multiple times and love it.

The whole gang has at some point worked in both Tweak.Bros and mr Donavan's shoe store

Tolkien's place is where they usually have their sleepovers. If for whatever reason they can't go to Tolkien's, then it's Craig's basement cause his parents are pretty chill and nice. They almost never go to Tweek's because his parents freak out the gang

Jimmy once wrote his final exam high on mushrooms and got a perfect score

Tweek never got a driving license because he's too scared of cars

[cartoon-buffoon]

(Uh just in case) TW: Suicide & Guns

Problem with drawing this was HET's posing since it's supposed to be him reaching over Oswald to grab the gun, now this would be fine if not for both characters obviously having black bodies so you can see I kinda went crazy with the white outlines. Also for the hole on the side of Euthenasia's head: it annoys me how in WI the gun misfires and it blows out his eye, the problem is at that angle it has NO SHOT (heh, shot) of hitting his eye so I always imagined it just went in through his skull and ricocheted out his socket

Oh and here's a short little story/exchange between the two that's related to this drawing for my AU of HET & Euthenasia if you care and wanna read it that is ↓ (warning: lots of vulgarity & of course suicide being the main focus)

Euthenasia trembled and stared down the skull faced feline who had a firm grip on his gun "let it go Felix, I can't miss again" he exclaimed, finger still on the trigger "there's only one bullet left in the chamber"

Het ignored the buck's commands and spoke calmly in his raspy voice "Oz, put the gun down before you hurt yourself"

"haha! No shit Sherlock! That's the FUCKING point!" Euthenasia grit his teeth and clicked the hammer back "GET LOST AND LET ME DO THIS!"

Het tightened his grasp on the gun, ready to divert the barrel elsewhere if Euthenasia tried anything "listen, you unloaded 5 bullets into my skull!" He tapped the side of his head and pointed at the cracks the rabbit gave him "now I don't care really, I've been hurt far worse than some silly little bullets, but if you miss your shot you're gonna blow out your other eye, now put it down because I really don't wanna wear a vest reading 'seeing eye cat' for the rest of my fucking life"

"I won't miss if you just let go!"

"If I gotta live in this shit hole so do you! I know life ain't fair yet you just can't fuck off and die because of it!" Het hissed.

"oh you're a comedian now! Ain'tcha!? A real funny man! Because I find it so funny you constantly say I would be better off dead, but here you are! The one trying to stop me!" Euthenasia used his other hand to wave it in Het's face "the walking contradiction! Which is it now? Huh? Should I pull the trigger or not!?"

"...." Het stayed silent, his skull showing no emotion other than a permanent smile plastered onto it.

"oh! Does the kitty cat not have a smartass remark this time around!?" Euthenasia took a step closer to the cat his hand holding the gun making the entire thing shake like a blender "what's next from the hypocrite? Why don't you start to babble on your psychopathic bullshit hmm? See if that'll convince me not to do it! Heck maybe if you're lucky instead of dying I'll start seeing things from your fucked up point of view! I bet you'd like that, huh?"

If Het could scowl, this would be the moment he would of "Alright prick, stop attacking me and focus on yourself" Het spun Euthanasia around and made him gaze at his own reflection "Look in the mirror for a second...do you think Ortensia would wanna see you like this?"

Oswald glared up at the cat who was still holding the barrel of his gun and being the one thing stopping him. Slowly lowering his gaze his eyes fell onto the mirror in front of him. The dim light in the room obscured most of the surroundings yet he could still see his clear as day his broken visage. Gun pressed to his head, mouth stuck in a crooked smirk, eye spasming out and twitching, even his empty socket was leaking a trail of bloody tears that stained his white fur. Instead of his own appearance being the thing that snapped him out of it, it wasn't—rather the image of Het's face. Several cracks running across the feline's skull caused by bullets bouncing off it was what made Euthenasia snap out of his rage induced haze and finally come to his senses.

Euthenasia's grip slowly faltered on the gun as his eye was fixed on the mirror "oh god..."

"well looks like me being a pain your ass actually helped for once, ain't that neat?" Once Euthenasia let go, Het released the firearm and let it clatter to the ground "heh, you know it's bad when I'm the voice of reason here"

Euthenasia turned around and faced Het, seeing what he did even more clearly "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry"

"what for?" Het noticed the buck staring at the cracks across his skull "oh yeah, well that's what bullets do after all, I'm just thankful I'm such a hardhead otherwise they would of probably done a lot worse" Het knocked on his dome trying to lighten the mood

Euthenasia didn't say a word and wrapped his arms around Het and brought him into a hug. Het tensed up at the touch although after hearing some quiet sobs come from the rabbit he slowly leaned into it. The cat was unsure on what to do with his hands, apart of him wanted to hug back yet everything else told him otherwise, eventually he just rested his arms to the side and let out a sigh.

"a thank you would of worked just as fine"

Oswald remained quiet and tightened the hug, still choking down sobs.

"... Your welcome, Ozzie... you're welcome"

[psylunari]

For the ship ask game: kunikidazai, suegiku, atsulucy

NOTE: the post will be long as heck. I'll keep reblogging for every ship addition till I finish.

I'll preface this by saying, yes! I do ship all of these!

Kunikidazai

(nervous chuckle) buckle up, buttercup.

1. What made you ship it?

TL;DR: ironically enough, writing it made them take over my brain.

Mid-tier answer: It wasn't one specific thing. I watched the show and had 1 (one) plot bunny one year later (my most-read BSD fic). I was writing a MHA OC/canon thing at the time. While passionate about that OC/canon, it was a difficult fic, and I put it on hold.

Writing that knkdz fic proved itself easier. It was flowing. It forced me into a deep dive in their dynamic. The result is what you see.

Long answer: it took me 10+ years in fandom (legit) to like m/m ships. So it's kinda hard?? To watch things with m/m tinted glasses. AKA deliberately looking for m/m chemistry, or interpreting it always that way, or making it up in my head if I can't find it. If I come across a ship, I came across a ship. And I'm the same for any ship.

During my first watch of bongo straycats, I didn't ship much of anything. I looked at those two and went, “yeah, they're haha funny, if I were to ship something it'd probably be this”. I was done with the three seasons out, then, I “forgot” BSD.

I mean. Not that I forgot. I was in-between fandom phases with other stuff. So I didn't pay “the popular ships” much mind. They were there. A thing that existed. I didn't care for them.

Then it went like:

“Hey, I could use some change in my life, lemme style my hair like this anime twink.” “Fic idea for haha funny ship. What if instead of disappearing to commit the die, the anime twink was sick and didn't tell anyone?” ?????? “It is a CRIME that THIS dynamic is on the unpopular side, I'm declaring myself in knkdz hell till further notice and will do something about it.”

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

TL;DR: they are multifaceted, their relationship is a deep rabbit hole of symbolism, and a blast to write about.

Superficial answer: complementary personalities + look good together + attractive + hilarious banter + suspicious moments + annoyances to lovers.

Heartfelt answer: I look at them from a complete perspective. Never one without the other, never caricatures of themselves. There's the caring domestic side, the dumb disagreements, the synergy and mutual respect, the defiance of internal values, the angst past and present… They are complex. The more you dig, the more you find. It's entertaining. It made the brain go brrrrr.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

It isn't often I come across interpretations I disagree with. Dedicated knkdz shippers and I are mostly in the same wavelength. My unpopular opinion, however, boils down to “I interpret both as some flavor of bisexual, not gay” and “mischaracterization”.

Will elaborate on the latter.

On Kunikida: headcanon as the fandom might, IMO, this guy isn't confident about love and sex. Let alone super liberated.

Picture this. Inexperienced + perfectionist + “dear diary, today I dreamt of my perfect wife” + “do girls not like me because I'm a nerd?” = pretty romantic, huh? And out of touch with reality.

Don't get me wrong. He does have carnal desires or kinks, I feel. I see him as shy and easy to fluster in the beginning. He takes time to relax and do his thing, being his own biggest critic.

On Dazai: he isn't helpless and definitely has an edge. I have a catboy agenda to set. Think like a cat's claws. Can and will scratch if unhappy, they're part of him, do not declaw the catboy. The feetsies are soft and adorable. They're also a part of him.

In the love aspect: when he LIKES someone, Dazai goes “brain.exe has stopped working” and does/says the stupidest shit. I think he orbits them out of no idea how to deal with it. Staying in the same space, wanting closure, not asking for it. Literal cat behavior again.

Now, in sex matters, he's shameless for… the most part. Not vulnerable all the time. He can flirt when it's for meaningless flings. What IMO WOULD make him cry is emotional stuff. Which may be tied to a sexual moment. Just not necessarily.

[welcometololaland]

Lola if you had to write and direct an episode of 911ls, what would you put in it?

Okay, friend. I've thought LONG AND HARD. and I come to you with this totally unhinged response. I'm also tagging @beautifulhigh because she asked me a similar question 💜

This would be a tripartite episode. I know LS always has a theme, but I've got absolutely no theme going on. Something about being cute, maybe. This episode is like the Lou one - fluffy filler because you KNOW Lone Star is a comedy.

Arc 1: The episode starts with the 126 getting called to a rescue in suburbia. The call is placed by a young girl, saying someone is stuck and they need help. EMS and fire rock up only to discover the "person" is a cat and the cat is stuck in a tree. Classic fire fighting story made funny. Marjan rescues the cat and brings it down from the tree, and hands it to TK while she brushes all the tree shit off her gear. TK (obviously) immediately falls in love with it. When he tries to give it to the little girl she looks at him confusedly and tells her it's not her cat - there's been a mix up and this cat LOOKS like her cat but is not her cat. For comedic effect, a similar cat strolls out of the little girls house at that very moment.

CUT TO BACK AT THE FIREHOUSE

Arc 2: They're all joking about the cat rescue over one of Paul's tasty lunches but TK is deep in thought - unsurprisingly, he can't stop thinking about the stray cat (it is now in a rescue). At lunch, Paul and Mateo get texts telling them they've been selected to appear in a hottest firefighters calendar. Paul is kinda ??? about it, Marjan is offended they didn't ask her even though she doesn't want to be in it and Mateo is wondering if he gets to be oiled up like a wrestler. Owen is understandably HIGHLY UPSET ABOUT THIS. specifically because he did not get asked. Judd is smirking at him.

(I think I would put in a scene where Owen grills TK about whether his skincare regime is no longer working and whether he's "past his prime" - TK is still thinking about the cat and has no time for this).

(I would also put in a scene where Owen goes to dinner at his best friend Judd's house and Grace and Judd die on the inside over how much Owen cares about not being asked to be in the calendar).

Arc 3: The 126 get a call out to a fire at a modelling agency. They're currently casting for a very high profile client, and suspect arson by a disgruntled rejected candidate who is still in the building. For reasons which I haven't come up with, it is determined that the culprit has to be one of the current set of rejected candidates. Carlos rocks up to interview the suspects as the 126 get the minor blaze under control and treat people for smoke inhalation. Paul is sent to help Carlos for the SPECIFIC PURPOSE OF HAVING INVESTIGATOR PAUL AND CARLOS TEAM UP. They're trying very hard to solve the mystery but unfortunately the models keep hitting on them, much to their dismay. Even though they're in the middle of a disaster, the head of the agency is asking Carlos to come in for a test shoot. Carlos is finding it very hard to do his job because TK keeps talking about a cat.

Eventually Paul and Carlos solve the mystery, apprehend the suspect and manage to escape with their wits intact. Paul decides to turn down the calendar offer based on this experience, unbeknownst to Owen. On the ride back to the station, Owen gets a text offering him a spot on the calendar and he is over the moon.

We end back at the Tarloft. TK is late coming home from work and Carlos assumes he has gone to a meeting. WRONG. TK walks in with the cat and begs on his hands and knees to keep it.

Carlos is immediately endeared. Lou II is disgruntled but TK insists they will learn to get along. The cat falls asleep in Carlos' lap on the sofa which TK is obsessed with, there's a cute scene of them being a cat family (maybe some cute kisses in there) and a light roasting of Carlos by TK for the modelling thing. At the end of the episode, Carlos puts the cat gently down on the end of the sofa and carries TK to bed because we deserve that.

THE END

tagging some people because there are certain themes I think they may enjoy: @dustratcentral (the cat) @rmd-writes and @howtosingit (Carlos as a model) @carlos-in-glasses (I just think you would like it) @goodways (Carlos getting harassesd by the modelling agency and light roasting at the tarloft) @strandnreyes and @lightningboltreader (cat content).

[dykeseesgod]

what well its just that you havent spoken to me in years except to call me a faggot or to dislocate my shoulder and you know what else is missing besides an attentive listener a segue i suppose forgive my bluntness please dont hit me but i could giv two shits about you or your vacant mind or your morbid curiosities or your dead fucking dog so why dont you just leave i never dislocated your shoulder according to my doctor you did in shop class last spring you twisted my arm behind my back and said you wouldnt let go until i said and i quote i like to get it up the ass i was just playing around with you oh that makes me feel so much better you know through my screams and the searing pain i can definely recall hearing laughter any way i can contribute to the fun of the group we were just messing around with you fuck you cb id rather you say we beat the shit out of you because we cant stand you rather than youre just messing with me that implies light teasing or slightly oproprious behavior i havent eaten in the cafeteria in 2 years for fear of going home with some part of it smeared across my shirt i havent been to the bathroom on campus since my head got slammed into a wall i believe you were there i didnt do that well you didnt stop it either and the faculty doesnt care you know what im tired of hearing they only pick on you because of your own insecurities aw jeez mrs blank now that you said that my head doesnt hurt so much and people wonder why kids bring guns to school to shoot you fuckers down maybe youre not the bully but you stand idly by and watch and to me thats even worse so please just go youre being hostile and im just trying to have a conversation with you like a civilized i dont want to talk to you i just want to be left alone i dont need social pointers i just want an apology for the five minutes youve stolen from my day see this is why you dont have friends i think we both know why i dont have any friends oh dont be so melodramatic youre in here crying about a dead dog and im being melodramatic shut the fuck up about my dog ok or what youll hit me go ahead ill show you how people get hurt and dont run away to cry like a big fucking baby whats so funny asshole im sorry nothing i dont see anything to laugh at its nothing its just that i was scared of you for like a second im sorry no its ok i deserved it promise me you wont bring a gun to school i dont even know where id get one you were one of my best friends you all were i just dont get it can i be honest if its any consolation none of us knew what to say to you after your dad got arrested it was pretty awkward it was more awkward for me im sorry we werent there for you that means a lot see now youre being sarcastic again no i wasnt its hard to tell with you truce i wasnt fighting a war but sure truce are you i dont know ive never had sex so kinda hard to tell at this point what about my dad im not sure thats considered sex you remember how my dog used to howl when you played the piano yeah i always found it pretty annoying he was singing along what do you think happens to animals when they die they go to heaven you believe in heaven sure there has to be some reward for living through all this and you think there are animals there in heaven the wolf will live with the lamb the lion will lie down with the goat and the calf the lion and the yearling together and a child will lead them the cow will feed with the bear their young will lie down together and the lion will eat straw like the ox the infant will play near the hole of the cobra and the child will put his hand into the vipers nest but my dog killed a living thing wouldnt god be mad he was sick cb he couldnt help it you know they say a dog sees god in his master and a cat looks in the mirror i hate cats me too

[the-chaos-goose]

Vent ahead!

I. Really don’t trust my brain or my thoughts or my words or even some headmates rn. Ik one is… well she’s back to her roots (roots of heavy self harm and thinking that it only affects her). She can’t really be reasoned with in a way that matters and it’s. It’s not fun. But I’m trying

one other headmate is dormant after I think a pet death? Can’t remember

and honestly I’ve been stuck thinking my dreams are reality/connected to reality and it’s fucking me up bc I’m scared if I tell anyone they’ll just say “oh it’s not real” but. Like. That doesn’t help. I wish I could explain it but like. Trying to convince me it isn’t real never works. I go along and pretend I believe them, just to not argue, cuz that’s my instinct, but.. I still believe that if I sleep I’ll wake up in the dreams again and I’ll deal with the bullshit going on in them. And I’ll never escape. It’s a horrible feeling, not really a thought anymore. Just. A feeling. An awful one. That and I’ve been losing touch with explaining anything again and it’s killing me bc I’ll think I worded something perfectly and then I’ll just fall flat on my face ‘cuz nothing I verbally say makes sense. Then there’s the feeling of death every damn night when I’m left alone and I can’t handle that bc gods.. I think I’m dying EVERY night and idk how to ask someone to just. Stay awake until I fall asleep. Bc that’s too much to ask and I know that. I know that that’s a freak thing to ask but gods. Years of isolation really messed me up and I can’t sleep alone like that. Not with someone asleep either. They have to be awake until I’m asleep. Because that’s genuinely the only time I feel alive.

AND THEN there’s my dad. He’s been getting worse again and it’s made me wanna die. Bad. I haven’t had this severe suicidal ideation since I was like 8 (yes 8. Bad year. Whatever). I’m glad im absolutely shit at planning and I’m too scared of leaving my lovers to go through with it or else I would’ve been done-zos. That and my cats. And my great aunt. But the ideation is still there and it’s eating me apart tbh

There’s also my lungs. They’ve been getting bad. I mean BAD. like breathing is killing me in ways I can’t describe. I’ve been struggling with LAUGHING bc it’s been bad. I play it off as funny (it is, in a morbid manner tbh), but at the same time- gods on earth I feel like I’m disintegrating

there’s ALSO ALSO my drooling. It’s not that bad, especially not compared to everything else. But gods it’s just. Annoying :(. I don’t like having to wipe my mouth every chance I get bc I feel all wet. It’s yucky and I hate it. I get “yada yada self love” but I have sensory issues and a slight anxiety around anything “gross” so like. My drooling issue is genuinely upsetting in a more “this inconveniences me and I want it gone” rather than “I hate my body!!”

Also we relapsed and it’s been burning bc of our clothes and I just don’t wanna ask like “hey can I get some kinda large bandage” cuz I don’t wanna admit to self-harm.

idk. I’m sorry if you read this. I have to get it out, I have to be seen. I’m sorry.

[gay-s0ck-puppet]

in honor of me not having the energy/mental capacity to tune into the riptide stream i have decided to compile all my favorite gillion quotes/moments from episode #90. obviously spoilers ahead. behold:

~ “Well that wasn’t your teeth so I’ll assume that was just a playful threat. The difference is: I’m going to actually eat you.”

~ Kuba: “I do wanna make sure I’m crushing you at your peak.”

Gillion: “You know actually, it’s funny you mention that because I was gonna get this new armor commission, so right now you’re fighting a very very weak, weak, unarmored version of me. So when you lose it’s gonna feel even worse.”

~ “You [pointing at Kenta] are gonna have an opportunity to attack but you’re not gonna do it! Cuz this is the small boy we keep on the ship, and that’s not what we fuckin do around here ok?”

~ “I was worried I was gonna need to use a spell or something. But I can save it all for you.” *rips his fucking shirt off and lets it fly dramatically into the wind* [i need everyone to understand that he did the 80,000lb anchor bit shirtless this is so important. also fuck canon his hair definitely came loose from its bun and flew dramatically behind him.]

~ *puts on the dread helm* “This is the helm I put on when I no longer need to be Gillion Tidestrider, Champion of the Undersea, Hero of the Deep. This is the helm I put on when I’m going to cut off your fucking hands. And I’m gonna make sure that whatever nightmares you walk out of here with are gonna be far worse than mine.”

~ *cuts off Kuba Kenta’s hand* “You know, I had some pretty bad nightmares recently myself. The crazy part of them was: you weren’t in them. Because the nightmare was I’d never be able to do That.”

~ “No I’m going to eat you! Not if i eat you first!” *Kuba Kenta grapples him with a bite* “No! You weren’t kidding!”

~ [directed at the moon] “Mommy help.”

~ “You know the crazy thing about nightmares, Kuba? They keep getting worse!” [makes anchor 80,000lbs and starts falling, grabs onto Kuba] “NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE!”

~ “Huh. That is really soft- AAAGHHH”

~ Charlie: “I look at Chip then I look down at the cat then I look back up and give him a little thumbs up and then I fucking fall through the ground at 1000 miles an hour.”

Bizly: “I open up the door. I close back the door and look at Jay. (as Chip) ‘There’s a lot goin on out there.’”

~ ‘Light Mode!’ being the command word for the anchor because the command for Chip’s sword is ‘Hot mode’

~ “I just have a feeling if i get out on the dock wrong and hit my shin I’ll die. That’s kinda where I’m at right now and I do that, Chip, a lot.”

~ “When he’s up, and if he ever decides to come after us ever again, I will literally eat him as promised!”

~ “Is it just a thing then you people in the navy say to fuck with us before you die? Like just some shit like ‘I’ll be back’? Cuz that is kinda wrong.” *looks at kira* “We’ll be back.”

~ “Nice to meet you! Gillion Tidestrider. Sorry it couldn’t be on better terms. Thanks for being down there, I appreciate it. Um. Your vice admiral is a bit of a cock. Huge cock.”

~ Gillion: “I didn’t know you had gills, by the way. That’s great! That makes things a lot easier.”

Jay: “Yeah, no, they kinda hurt. When I put them in.”

Gillion: “…..When you what?”

Charlie: “And Gillion is deeply disturbed by this, enough to just leave the situation.”

~ *looking at the scratches from Kuba Kenta* “I’m sure I’ll figure it out. *looks at Chip’s bed* Hopefully he, at least, is sleeping a bit more soundly. And then I narrate as I crawl into my barrel, head first, and rotate into a fetal position.”

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i am so very normal about him. anyway rb/tag with you favorite riptide quotes (gillion or otherwise) but please no spoilers for the latest ep.