#‘novels I’ve read this year’
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redraw? study?? of scarlet from the back of the limited edition tdp, because i’m obsessed with her expression/eyes on there. joy ang’s scarlet my beloved
speedpaint and comparison under the cut
#i need to reread escaping peril#i’ve been reading arc 3 and the graphic novels lately and i forgot how much i love scarlet#i’m not sure i quite captured what i like about here eyes in the portrait n limited edition but#hey maybe i’ll draw it in a year. i haven’t done a self redraw in ages#i’d like to get better at painting scales too. this was so much better than lineart scales#wof#wings of fire#wof skywing#queen scarlet#wof queen scarlet#wof scarlet#dragon#art#artists on tumblr
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As gently and politely as I can put this: that post I made about outliving him is meant to be an anti-suicide affirmation. It is not meant to be a blinders-on assessment of reality, of the future boiling down to whether one man lives or dies. It is meant to reassure myself and everyone else that the horrors come, and the horrors go, that nothing is permanent, that hope persists with split knuckles and blood on its teeth. Things are rough. Things will likely get rougher. My eyes are open to that, but in the end, the first thing they want from us is to roll over, surrender, die. And I will not be granting that wish. I deserve to be here. You deserve to be here. We deserve to see the sun rise. And it will. I promise.
#‘this isn’t a fantasy novel’ yes thank you if it were I’d have a cool sword at the very least#but what I have instead is a dozen tiny reasons to keep going#my wife. my pets. my stories. to see how my favorite tv show turns out.#to watch my nephew grow. to laugh with my siblings. to cry with my parents.#to see the movies I’ve missed and read books that haven’t yet been written#and above all else: to prove that I can. that I can stay. that I can see just one more sunset. one more snowfall. one more pride parade#one more. one more. one more.#it’s one day at a time. it always has been.#it will be bad. I am not disputing that. I came into this year terrified that it would be my last one on earth#but so long as I have a say: I say no. I say I belong here. i say fuck you.#it will be bad. of course it will. it will be terrifying.#and I will be here because the simple fact of my queer ass continuing to draw breath#can help ruin the day of the worst people alive
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my seniors have been so quiet all year and it’s been fine cause we’ve had a lot of writing/research to do but I need them to talk to me now so i was hit by a bolt of inspiration two days ago and I made them all tell me their comfort level with sharing aloud, rating themselves on a scale of 1-10. I then averaged the class score and they’re a 4.5. I then told them yesterday we needed to raise the score the tiniest bit. And the 1’s and 2’s didn’t need to be 10’s just maybe 3’s and 4’s. And they tried! They talked more 😭
#it’s sooooo hard because when a class is quiet my default is to assume you hate me#which is so hard because I need a response. which is why I actually can handle a loud raucous class pretty well because it’s just about#holding their attention and redirecting#but when they’re quiet it’s so hard. but i’ve really forced myself to be like ‘they don’t hate you they’re just quiet’#and they ARE#and actually they are reading (not all of them lol) and a lot of them want to learn#it was really helpful going to try to capitalize on this today#I had a moment a few weeks ago where I taught them a poem and it was crickets and I was like sigh they hate it and me#but then I said wanna learn another one? and like—seven of them nodded at me with big eyes and quiet enthusiasm#and I was like okayyyyy there is something going on#it feels so different teaching them than any other class it’s been a real learning experience for me#also yesterday we were talking about Jane Fairfax and Emma hating her lolololol#and Emma being frustrated with Jane’s reserve and I teased them a little bit#I said you’re not cold but you ARE reserved and I am Emma trying to get you to tell me about Frank Churchill at Weymouth#literally lol#ALSO it hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday that this is the class where I need to tell them WHY I make them tell me all the plot details#and we go over it together#and the actual concrete purpose of it. cause it isn’t just book-clubbing it!#it has to do with guiding them through a novel but also teaching them how to do it themselves#I get so prickly when people think it’s just book club behavior#if I was in a book club i would be a tyrant which is why I belong in a classroom#ANYWAY I AM WASTING THE DAY AWAY#but i have woken up with great excitement because I’ve been mulling on the seniors all year#and I feel like I’m getting somewhere#teaching tag
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Thinking about how for about a month my favorite part of going to the movies was seeing the trailer for queer. like yea girl i think you might like that movie a little bit. wait while we’re here i have a question
#i have been seeing ppl using a site i forget the name of. might use that? IDK.#also don’t know when this will be because i’m having company starting friday so it might be like. 2 or 3 weeks from now#anyway let me go check my letterboxd to see when the first time i saw the trailer was#it was heretic. which i saw for work sort of but then came home and was like Guys. So There’s This Movie Trailer …#and the OTHER thing is that i’ve been trying to get myself to read the novel for years now. like#i remember the first time i saw it and was like oh? and id seen multiple (ugly) copies for months and kept being like#ok i’ll buy it when i find a cover i like. and i eventually bought a copy in london#and i’m trying to remember if that was because i knew the movie was coming out or not. anyway the uk edition is slightly less ugly#than the usa one. but funnily enough on the night i read it i passed by a bookstore with my friends and there was a used cover in the window#that was the least ugly one i’d seen. and so i was telling my friends all about this but the bookstore was CLOSED.#and then they went back later and got it for me for my birthday :’) really sweet and special#okay. storytime finished 🧍♂️
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Sword of Kaigen
standalone fantasy set in a rural mountain village at the edge of an empire that still holds traditional values, with families of powerful water/ice magic warriors
follows a powerful young heir who begins to question his beliefs about the empire when a new boy comes to his village from the city
and his mother, a housewife who has tried to forget her youth as a warrior and vigilante in the city since she moved back home to a loveless marriage
when there’s a violent attack on their village that they’re unprepared for, everything changes, and she has to embrace her old skills to protect her family and people
#The Sword of Kaigen#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#I’ve been meaning to read this for years and I finally got around to it! a really unique fantasy novel#I had always assumed this was ur average pre-industrial high fantasy and then was immediately hit with video games/tv in the first chapter#lmao. But overall (aside from the broader worldbuilding/politics) it is closer to the average ‘historical’ fantasy narrative -#so I can see why I got that impression#Some really compelling characters and interesting narrative structure that went in some unexpected directions.#It really focuses in on one village and how devastating a single battle in a war can be to their people - and how much work the recovery is#I feel like most sff is more concerned with a single person and/or the whole war so this felt unique. did also mean that the pacing was odd#- it's a slow start; then there’s a battle that must be hundreds of pages. The last section of the book feels a little too drawn out#and brings up random hanging plot elements that don’t really go anywhere. But I think overall this works for the story.#also one thing I didn’t love - cool complex interesting female character MC sure but also there’s weird moments like:#the first scene we see her is all the housewives comparing their attractiveness; she keeps referring to herself as an old woman (when she’s#and oh so meek and useless etc. And some of this feels like it’s part of the broader portrayal of the misogynist society#but some of it felt clunky or unintentional?#And then especially the end - when she and her shitty husband finally confront each other as equals and he apologises#she basically immediately forgives him and is like oh I was equally at fault because I am a meek woman who didn’t try either#like him realising he was wrong (and her realising he had a reason for being the way he was) doesn’t negate the fact that he treated her li#she acts like it was her fault for not trying too - when we have numerous examples of him berating her if she spoke up about anything?#like im glad he’s learning. but also that doesn’t mean she needs to suddenly forgive and love him wtf#that's the only real thing that annoyed me though.#also btw that 5yo seems kinda fucked up. are you guys gonna do anything about that
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I kind of want to change my profile picture but have like no idea what to change it to.
Like a joke one, or not, but alas I do not know
#like a character from media i know definitely but rhat dosent really narrow it down#probably from one of the novels ive read#but like who#thats the problem#and a joke one#or like serious fan art#but i’ve had thebsame art since i started the account like a few years ago#imma just tag the novels im reading or have read#and manga too i guess#umm#heaven official's blessing#tgcf#scum villian self saving system#svsss#grand master of demonic cultivation#mdzs#the dumb husky and his white cat shizun#erha#the disabled tyrant and his beloved pet fish#tdtbpf#bungo stray dogs#bsd#i think i tagged them all but i probably didn’t#any suggestions#if i get multiple suggestions i’ll use them all constantly like use the same ideas multiple times#promise promise
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Hiiiiiiii,
I was wondering if you or followers have good reading recs( preference for a published novel but a good fanfic also appreciated). I let Big corporations win and am now trying to avoid the endless scroll but am finding that I’m in a bit of bind to find something that’s scratching the itch and I refuse to regress back into binge reading YA(which is fine! But I believe that there must be a good story even if the protagonist goes to work sometimes) ((also extra preference is NYC is a main character bc I refuse to get a new personality))
I was trying to sit on this ask until I had more to offer you because my brain is completely fried and I’ve forgotten everything I’ve read in the last couple of years other than like. Moby dick. Which does not remotely meet your standards. However I don’t think my brain is likely to get less fried any time soon so I’m going to throw this out to my followers in hopes they can be more helpful than me!
For a couple of suggestions the first book that came to mind was The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wrecker, which is a lovely story about two fantasy creatures crossing paths in turn of the century New York. It is very deeply about the Jewish and Syrian immigrant communities in manhattan and illustrates their world and experiences through the ultimate fish-out-of-water stories of their non-human leads. It is slower paced so it may not be for everyone coming from YA though. Another fave is the girls at the kingfisher club by Genevieve Valentine, a fairytale retelling of the 12 dancing princesses set in jazz age new york. These characters do not have jobs lol. Shorter and quicker than the previous rec, this story focuses on the relationships between the sisters but has a central romance I really enjoyed as well. The next one is not set in new york but when I was younger and transitioning into adult fiction I remember barbara kingsolver being a great entry point. I would recommend The Bean Trees, which is about a young woman striking out on her own through the southwest only for someone to abandon a child in her car. I haven’t read it in years so I’m not sure how it holds up but I remember it being very readable with an engaging cast of weird female characters! Also not set in nyc but one of the few contemporary novels I enjoyed in the last couple years was station eleven by Emily st john Mandel, which is sort of a loosely connected cast of characters and vignettes about art and humanity in the post-apocalypse.
Anyone else with recs for my anon?
#there was also one last stop which is a romance novel set on the q train which was very popular a couple years back?#I personally found it a lil transplanty but that doesn’t make it bad! just not my preferred nyc flavor lol#but it might be what you’re looking for#not to sound like wildly pretentious but I’ve mostly been reading classics in my spare time so like#highly recommend to kill a mockingbird and slaughterhouse 5 and 100 years of solitude but I see those fit zero of your criteria
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thanks for the tag, @cabeswaterdrowned !!
the game: post 9 books you want to read in 2025.
tagging @the-fab-fox @sunshineandteddybears and anyone who just wants to, most of my close mutuals aren’t really readers.
#some of these will be new releases and some I’ve been meaning to read for years lol#I didn’t put things I plan to read that are like. ongoing projects for me#like I’ve been slowly reading every Agatha Christie novel but I was not putting those on here lol#i talk sometimes
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i think i'm finally gonna read house of leaves wish me luck
#i've been meaning to read this book for like 5+ years lol#i think i'm finally ready to commit to it and also i just bit the bullet and bought a copy#because i know myself enough to know that i will not finish it if i get it from the library#and also they didn’t have the gravity falls book at the bookstore hahaha they said they’ve sold out of it twice#so. oh well. house of leaves time first#also i think i'm gonna finish fma brotherhood without my friend who wanted to watch it in the first place#out of spite because he's still being a little bitch#hope he doesn't change his mind! or feel butt hurt when i don't want to watch shit with him anymore#i think after all this i'm not gonna watch any longer series with him anymore#movies only. low commitment only. so he can't bail on me just on a whim#i'm enjoying fma a lot though!! these boys are the exact type of characters i get attached to lol#i like the alchemy shit also and the humor/drama balance#and the character design and the world building and the Lore#i was kind of on a movie kick again earlier this month but i just don’t have a lot of time for it rn#or the attention span. to be so honest#kind of embarrassing but i’m so mentally exhausted and i’ve been splitting my attention between a lot of different things lately#i was on such a reading kick this summer too!! hopefully house of leaves will replenish my energy for reading#i also got a sci-fi novel a nonfiction book and a folklore collection so i have plenty of new material rn#and i found another book that i want to reread soon#winter is gonna be a big reading time i am committing to that!!#anyway. that’s that
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I know it’s probably just my age and I’m Too Young To Possibly Get It and You Had To Be There but I’ve always kinda rolled my eyes whenever people talk about how joss whedon was some titan of nerd media and everyone loved his work
avengers came out when I was 13 and I thought that was. all right. at the time, everyone on the internet was nostalgic for firefly, so I watched that and found it extremely underwhelming, and wasn’t interested in seeking out more of that writing. but it is inescapable huh
#was gonna post this on my main but i have way more followers there and also what inspired this was#reading gaider’s post about alistair lol#yes we can in fact tell he was inspired by buffy#the part where he’s like ‘yea he’s persona non grata NOW but he used to be the shit’ citation needed lmao#and it’s always made me kinda roll my eyes#he’s fine. i like him as a character. but everywhere i go there’s been whedon worship#and now that he’s fallen out of grace people feel like they need to do penance for it#when i’ve. never understood it in the first place lol#obviously i’m one person and my opinions aren’t universal either but#i feel like everyone who talks about it is like ‘yeah he’s shitty BUT it’s good’#i guess you had to be there#but when i say i don’t like him now it sounds like im lying or just joining the people who are canceling him#hipster moment. i didn’t like him before it was cool#it’s just the writing style. i’ve talked about it a little before on my main#it’s especially insidious still in SFF novels bc once again. they’ve all seen buffy and firefly and#i remember my older sister liked angel but i’m p sure she had a crush on him#when will i finally be at the age where the things i grew up liking are the influence behind the Hot New Thing#i mean i know the issue is that the things i liked as a kid weren’t popular then either lmao#like i’m sorry but one man from 15 years ago cannot be the sole pillar of an entire genre#people need to diversify their influences and/or we need to let other people write stuff#honestly whedon’s style feels like he was going for american terry pratchett but it’s like. a little mean spirited about it#personal.txt
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just curious, do yall still want/are interested in another translated version of the mdzs original text? I’m fully fluent in English, love books, write fiction myself (graduated with a minor in creative writing as well), and 80% fluent in written and spoken Chinese. If I may, I can offer a more writerly/authorly + detailed (definitely not in the way of more embellished) interpretation and formatting translation of the og text which I feel that the Seven Seas ver is lacking. But I will probably need one or two others’ help in proofreading and cross checking translations!
#also#just checked back to the seven seas ver and realised there are sentences that don’t seem to be part of the og copy i have#actually lmao I can’t imagine translating the smut scenes from Chinese#save me#mdzs#mxtx#mo dao zu shi#I’ve read the translated ver before seven seas#years ago#and iirc the formatting and sentence structures were stilting#was it the exr#I think so#ngl it is time consuming for me to read Chinese texts#I can’t read quite as fast#bc my first language is english#Chinese is my mother tongue#but I love mdzs so#IM WILLING#I’m just lacking in the idioms department… so I will need help cross checking interpretations#but overall I can grasp the text#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#idk but the seven seas versions for all of mxtx’s novels don’t hit quite right for me#the texts lack depth in the way of sentence structure and phrasing#for a lack of words they feel kind of superficial at times#idk it’s a writer + translation thing for me
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I feel like there was a positive correlation between how bad this year was and how much danmei and mlm books I read. Things getting worse on the x-axis, # of novels on the y-axis
#I read 45 books…..#38 of which were mlm/danmei#danmei#mlm#mlm novels#danmei novels#this year was atrocious#being honest this was probably the worst year I’ve had in a while#and reading BL really really helped act as an escape#I beat a reading record?#woo I guess :(#in all seriousness I read some of the best books this year and found some of the best fandoms#but I really was just going through it (still am a bit tbh)
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Just finished The Spirit Bares Its Teeth and this might actually break whatever mental block was stopping me from reading novels all these years???? Did y’all know books were good???????
#I’ve been reading non fiction at like an alarming rate for years#and got really into manga this year too#but novels have been very hard as a medium for me#but I got drawn into this one and had to do it on a time crunch since it was a library book I couldn’t renew#and I think it finally unblocked my novel issues#cuz all I want to do now is read more books#ecdysing#the spirit bares its teeth#andrew joseph white#also it was a great book very fun
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idek why but this is Peak Romance(TM)
#the ending of Emma! is so warm and so funny#and so good#every emotional beat is so true#I also love the part where Emma learns that Harriet is engaged and she’s so overflowing with happiness#because one of her two obstacles to happiness has been removed#(And she’s working on the other obstacle her dad)#and it says she has to move around and talk to herself and laugh before she can be around anyone again#and I just—-aksjsjjsjdjdjdjd#I love it SO much. I have experienced that before!!!#just times where the overflow of happiness makes you so giddy and almost foolish you have to be alone#ALSO. I’ve been reflecting because years ago I read a piece of literary criticism that said that Emma never learns or changes#she’s Sad and forced to face the consequences of her Actions for like one afternoon#and then everything she wants to happen happens#and she gets to sort of just dance away with a sparkle in her eye#and the criticism was like ‘good for her but this is not a journey of change or growth’#and I’ve always been haunted by it because there is something true about it? Emma is still Emma is still Emma#and also because when I teach it I sort of have to be like ‘Emma has changed! and feels bad about stuff!’ because that’s just kind of#how you have to do it with teenagers/and/or it’s what THEY say#and I can’t contradict them but it doesn’t feel exactly true either#and I don’t know. it’s sort of hitting me this time around that there is just a deepening of Emma’s sweetness#in the second half of the novel and that’s why it always feels so warm#like. with Lizzy the change is so big you can absolutely feel it! it’s undeniable and it rocks her entire (internal) world#Darcy’s letter forces a change in her worldview. in her views of her family and her sisters and Wickham and Jane and just everything#but the box hill scene isn’t that with Emma —but it does pierce through …. something#some kind of flippancy maybe? coldness? she IS more likable in the second half of the book#and yet she is no different. idk I’m struggling to name it exactly#maybe it is a kind of growing up. it never feels quite as simple or as obvious as ‘now she has learned and will never do it again’#I actually think Emma will do it again a LOT lol (the small joke about shipping Mrs. Weston’s daughters with her nephews that Austen makes)#but it’s like—-the lifeblood of her heart has started flowing differently—if that makes sense#she crosses a threshold on the drive home from Box Hill when she sits in the back of the carriage and cries silently
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Book of the Week: The Times Spent in Pretense
Author: Butterfly's Shadow Beneath the Moon/Yue Xia Die Ying (月下蝶影)
Genre: ancient setting, court politics, josei
Rating: T
My Synopsis: Hua Liuli, only daughter of two famed generals, wants to be known as the most beautiful sickly beauty in the empire. Crown Prince Ji Yuansu wants to put off working himself to death on the throne for a few more years. Emperor Changlong just wants people to stop treating him like he's stupid while he celebrates the return of his two closest friends and their family to the capital. When you have your priorities straight, who cares about the petty schemes of those convinced they live in a dogblood drama?
My Actual Review: Unlike a lot of the other books under this author, this novel is not a revenge fantasy and, as such, it is actually lighter than the others on suspense and drama (lighter, not completely absent, as this still involves court politics.) The fact that this book satirizes the genre by subverting expectations (no, the emperor isn't paranoid enough to betray his most loyal subjects, no the crown prince won't be dethroned, no the famous general won't be sent to his death) is a breath of fresh air. And the comedy is fantastic, I found myself smiling and laughing almost every chapter, which made the parts where the story gets unexpectedly somber all the more poignant. The characters in all their different positions and goals work so well together. I never really felt like the cast was too big or that anyone was extraneous. Also on that note, pretty sure like half the princes are autistic but present in completely different ways. Wild. As per this author's MO, there are content warnings for the usual underage marriage, age gap, and such.
Translation: complete
#human promotes#the times spent in pretense#this novel is like 95% comedy#but those somber moments? they be hitting#this is something i’d maybe liveblog at some point idk#i just read it so if i did it would be like next year or something#sometime far off when I’ve forgotten chunks of the text#so i can get a nice little surprise on a reread
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currently reading northanger abbey and i keep having to Take a Break because i feel such intense intense anger towards john thorne I Fear I Need Something Drastic to Happen to Him
#i keep having to put it DOWN cause im FUMING#this is my first time reading a jane austen novel 🫣🫣🫣🫣#i’ve had such bad attention span these last few years and so i never could Stuck Into Classics but MY GOD! this BOOK!#thorpe just came to tell catherine he SPOKE TO MISS TILNEY FOR HER and i feeeeeeel RAGE#help is this a normal reading experience of northanger abbey#is this rage a common side effect of jane austen novels or just northanger abbey or am i just a little too invested#im sorry but i LOVE catherine?????? she is everything to me and i cant STAND FOR THIS#northanger abbey#jane austen
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