#‘more passionate than hope. much deeper than despair. love.’

[kayzero]

holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck

[vick-shimmer]

More passionate than hope, much deeper than despair...Love.

Twitter

[bloodraven55]

it’s always “i love you.” and never “no one in the world could possibly understand. this emotion is mine and mine alone… and i’ve been saving it for her. it is the pinnacle of all human emotion. more passionate than hope, much deeper than despair. love.”

or “i’m sorry. i’m so weak. i just wanted you back with me. i didn't care what i had to do... i’d commit the worst sins for one more chance. even if it turned me into a monster, it wouldn't matter. as long as i could have you back.”

or “no matter how many times it takes, i’ll relive it over and over again. i’ll find the way out. the one path that'll save you from this destiny of despair. madoka, my one and only friend. i don't care… because if it's for you, i’ll stay trapped in this endless maze forever.”

[chanis-banani]

Hellooo, could I request making out with SF9 when you get a sec? Thanks

Note: I wasn't sure which format to go with for this request and I've been sitting on it for a while. Eventually I decided to go with headcanons for different kisses for each member. I hope you like it! :) Note 2: Thank you @lost-inthedream for helping me brainstorm

Genre: suggestive - minors dni!

Contains: marking, wall-pushing, teasing, gentle biting

Youngbin - hungry kisses

There's something about his kisses, a certain kind of despair, as if he needs your touch to survive

This man is such a hungry kisser. He just wants to eat you up. He will lay his hand in the back of your neck and wrap his remaining arm tightly around you, almost like a snake

Once you start making out, you can never give him enough. He's always so hungry for more. It's almost like you're his oxygen and when you pull away he nearly struggles to breathe

Sometimes he'll lay down on his back and pull you on top of him so he can hold you tightly against his chest while you make out

This position also allows him to stroke his fingers through your hair and rub circles on your back

The way he kisses you is almost like he's giving you a taste of something more... Like he's hinting to other things he could do with his mouth

Inseong - spontaneous kisses

He likes to leave little pecks on your lips and cheeks out of nowhere

Very gentle with you. Most of the time his kisses will be rather soft and cute

Will tenderly cup your face and stroke your cheeks with his thumbs when he kisses you

When you're doing simple stuff together, like putting the groceries away, he will often distract you with a short, sweet kiss on the lips or forehead

Also leaves a lot of kisses on the back of your neck and top of your head every time he walks by

And when you stay over for the night, be prepared to be woken up with more of his cute kisses

He usually gives you quick little pecks, so sometimes after he kisses you, you have to pull him back to get more

But he also shows a bit of a cocky attitude at times, making cheesy remarks in between kisses

Jaeyoon - playful kisses

Such a tease in everything he does

He will hold you tightly against him, kissing you with an almost overwhelming passion

And then, just when you're getting completely into it, he pulls away with a big smirk on his lips, knowing how needy you can get when he interrupts you like this

He likes to see how your lips become red and swollen when he kisses them

He loves nothing more than to see your reaction to the things he does to you

Will definitely place his leg between yours and use it to apply some pressure to your sensitive area

Wants to make you squirm and ask for more and he won't be satisfied until you're nearly trembling in his arms

If for whatever reason, you'd want to rile him up even more, you have to say little praises against his lips

Dawon - sloppy kisses

A very horny kisser. Even the slightest peck on the lips can sometimes be enough to make him hard. Let alone having a full-on makeout session with tongue.

Even if the kiss starts out nice and gentle, he gets carried away so easily

He'll place his hands on your cheeks or neck to pull you close while he makes out with you, pulling you in for an even deeper kiss

Doesn't mind at all if things get a little sloppy. In fact, he likes it that way and might just make a mess on purpose

Like when you pull away from each other and he looks at your lips to see that they are glistening from his saliva

Even if it's a little filthy, it just makes him so so hungry for more...

And to make things even worse, he has the terrible tendency to grind against you every time you make out

Needless to say, almost every time you kiss him, it quickly escalates

Zuho - dangerous kisses

Making out with Zuho can be a dangerous game. He doesn't need much provocation to push you against a wall.

Don't even think about biting his lip unless you enjoy having a hand on your throat

Seriously, it's very dangerous to mess with him. Every time you try anything to rile him up, no matter how small, he takes it as an opportunity to mess with you

After all, there's nothing he loves more than to tease you right back

He might refrain from kissing you completely, only to let his tongue travel along your neck instead while you entertain him with your squirming and whimpering

While Dawon tends to escalate into more than just making out, Zuho is an expert at making you want more, without giving it to you

Once he has you where he wants you, he's very patient

His kisses can be both a reward and a punishment

Rowoon - possessive kisses

When Rowoon kisses you, it's a bit like he's marking his territory

Because will quite literally mark your neck, for example

Definitely cups your face with his hands and pulls you tightly against him

Will engage in PDA with you, to show everyone how you're his. He won't go far with it, since he knows how to keep things classy, but little things like holding you by your waist and giving you little kisses on your cheeks

Also he finds it very cute when you have to stand on your toes to reach him for a kiss

Another thing he will do a lot is hold your chin to make you look at him. He won't do it roughly like Zuho, but rather tenderly, like he just wants to make eye contact with his special person~

One of his favorite things is to have brief makeout sessions in the car and watch you get out completely flustered

Taeyang - demanding kisses

Taeyang likes to toy with you

When he kisses you, he always makes you hungry for more, but you never know whether he might really give it to you

His kisses are demanding but not in a needy way. Rather in a way that makes you needy

He will bite your lip because he is Taeyang and he can do what he wants, and he follows it up by pulling away to see your reaction with a big grin on his lips

Runs his fingers along your waist to tease you and pull you closer to him

Basically Taeyang's kisses are almost always a way of challenging you, riling you up. He wants to activate you to do more with him without giving you any guarantee there will be more

Sometimes he'll stop mid-kiss to look at you and observe you for a bit. If your expression is desperate enough, he'll be satisfied and leave it at that, leaving you hungry for more

Hwiyoung - attempted careful kisses

He is kind of conflicted when he makes out with you. On one hand he wants to be careful and gentle, yet at the same time, he struggles to do that because he gets needy

Usually things will start slow and gentle

But he doesn't need much to lose himself in the pleasure. Small things like wrapping your arms around his waist can be enough

Or even worse: when you stroke your fingers through his hair

This will drive him crazy in an instant, leading him to lift you up and place you on some surface like a table or kitchen counter

He loves to let his fingers wander along your body, gently stroking your neck, shoulders, chest and sides

And if you whimper enough, he won't stop there (if you catch my drift)

It's interesting to see him switch from sweet and tender to needy and a little rough so quickly

And it's especially adorable when he switches back to his gentle self suddenly, placing the softest cutest kisses on your forehead

Chani - sleepy kisses

Chani feels so comfortable around you, he tends to get sleepy sometimes. He can let his guard down with you. But since he likes to spend time together, he tries his best not to fall asleep and that's how the makeout sessions often start

He presses his lips against yours to stay awake and soon you can feel his tongue

It doesn't take long for a full, lazy makeout session to unfold

You'll often be cuddled up in bed or on the couch together when suddenly you feel Chani's hand reaching out to your thigh. While he struggles to keep his eyes open, he reaches out to kiss you

Such a needy boy. He's very bad at hiding it when he's aroused. Not that he really tries to hide it anyway

He will interrupt the kisses to bring his mouth to your neck and lick from your collarbone up all the way behind your jaw

Feeling his nose agaisnt your skin when he kisses your neck

Maybe a bulge oops

[windsweptinred]

I love when Destruction speaks of the Endless shaping the opposite of their function, aka Death - Life/ Dream - Reality. Their duel nature that, possibly with the exception of Death and Destruction...They're all still remarkably un-self aware about. I honestly think the key to them being happy, well rounded anthropomorphic personifications is the acceptance of their opposing role. But that's a headcannon for another day.

When it's discussed, Desire always gets hatred as their opposing function... And it's just never sat right with me. I get it, the opposite of to Desire something can be distaste, unwanted vereses want. Thus hatred of a thing. But... Hatred is more then that, it's deeper than to not want. It's the all encompassing opposite of to Love. So either Desire does have dominion over all areas of the heart and is both Love and Desire....

"Love is stronger then desire."

But Desire shook their head. "They are the same thing."

The Sandman Book of Dreams

"For love is no part of the dreamworld. Love belongs to Desire, and Desire is always cruel."

The Sandman Vol. 2: The Doll's House

But I don't think that's it. I think the answer may lay with Despair. The Twins are connected, one being split into two. Despair feeds Desire, Desire feeds Despair. Their functions intertwine in an inseparable way. The same should be true then of their reverse nature's. Hatred and Hope... Nice repeating Hs but there's no natural flow. I'd argue Desire's opposite is the lack of want, fulfillment. Essentially, to be at peace with what you have.

In Buddhist teachings by achieving a mental state where you can detach from all the passions, needs and wants of life, you free yourself and achieve a state of transcendent bliss and well-being. Aka... You shift from Desire, to Peace.

Now Hope and Peace, they go hand in hand. A natural flow from one to the other. With Hope comes Peace, with Peace comes Hope. They could be one golden, glowing, angelic being split down the middle.

So they're you have it, the Endless Twins...

Despair - Hope

Desire - Peace

Ps: I love the fandoms creation of Hope!Hob. But god do I love so much more the notion that Despair not only has the capacity within her to be Hope, but could one day reach a point where she could embody Hope of the Endless too.

[kaamsart]

more passionate than hope,

much deeper then despair...

love.

[metalichotchoco]

It is the pinnacle of all human emotion. More passionate than hope, much deeper than despair. Love.

[just-homura-things]

"It is the pinnacle of all human emotion—more passionate than hope, much deeper than despair. Love."

— Puella Magi Madoka Magica The Movie: Rebellion

[charryflavoredblood]

Hi! Can I plz ask for a Komegi fic? I was thinking maybe the two are having a relaxing time in the bath together. Nothing sexual, it’s just intimate. Maybe Nagito’s went into one of his manic downward spirals so to comfort him Makoto washing Nagito’s hair to help the other man relaxed.

Yes. I love you thank you. I love you. Komaeda is what I live for. I think I lost the plot somewhere along the way but just know, it was in mind and I will rewrite it if you don't like it!!

TW: Existentialism, potential disassociation trigger.

“Makoto-”

Nagito calls out to his boyfriend.  

“Wait okay, do you want peach or the rosemary pomegranate one?”

Naegi grabbed the two bottles of shampoo. (The same ones that Komaeda had bought for him after he found out that the other was using…head and shoulder. And Makoto said that he needed to show himself more respect.)

“Those are yours-” “If I mix them, it won’t cause mustard gas, right? I played potions when I was little, it’ll be fine.” Makoto questioned, talking to no one but himself. He gently kneeled down on his partner’s- no, his bathroom floor.

After Nagito’s most recent breakdown, the pair had decided Makoto should move into Nagito's home. The pair being Makoto and Komaeda’s therapist, of course. Komaeda had insisted that Makoto deserved to be in a far nicer, far bigger and far warmer home.The younger man still lived with his sister and her wife. Anywhere was warmer than that apartment. Plus, Komaeda was loaded. He was basically Togami without legal limits.

Not that he only liked his boyfriend for his money! He adored him for his sense of humor, his kindness, his intelligence and most of all his passion! 

“Hey Makoto?” “Huh?”

Komaeda snapped him out of his train of thought, which was more than welcome. Any real Komaeda was better than the best imaginary Komaeda.

“I was thinking last night. Why is living so hard? Why must we be given false good days only to fall deeper into despair with so many terrible bad days? It truly makes me wonder what the point of it all is. Why must we feel despair…? Why is hope so temporary while despair is forever. They’re considered opposites. Why is one so much more powerful?”

Normally this would’ve caught Makoto off guard…but he was dealing with Nagito and he knew the other better than most things.

“Gee, that’s pretty philosophical, huh?” He responded, pumping the shampoo on his hands.

The brunette hummed in thought as he lathered the shampoo up, moving to his boyfriend’s hair.

“If every day was great, would it still be great or would it be a normal day? If we didn’t overcome hardship, wouldn’t that make us lumps of…something. I don’t know, I failed science. Despair doesn’t extinguish hope…just like hope doesn’t extinguish despair. When someone is at a fair, they could look at a ferris wheel and say “I won’t get on that because there is a 2.5% chance of it crashing.” On the other hand, someone could’ve just gotten into a ferris wheel crash, they could say “I’m alright. I made it. I survived.” You know?” Komaeda thought of a rebuttal before letting it go. 

Makoto rubbed the shampoo into the white hair and continued.

“We can worry about things like that, we can worry about each other getting hurt, or we can enjoy our time together and cross that bridge when we come to it.”

Nagito nodded and leaned in for a kiss, only to be met with fingers against his lips.

“Sorry…I don’t like the taste of shampoo.”

“Never thought you were one of those. I suppose you’re going to make me shower before we-”

“No! I didn’t mean that! I just-”

“I’m messing with you, Makoto.”

“...I still don’t like the taste of shampoo.”

“Who does?” I loved writing this. Ily all, drink water. Don't die. Dying if dehydration when you can help it is cringe. Ily again. K bye.

[ethereal-bumble-bee]

I See- A Letter From Crutchie

Note: This isn’t so much a oneshot as a message from me, written through a character, one that I think a lot of you need to hear. Above all, keep hope, and trust that no matter what, things WILL get better one day, I promise- you just need to be there to see it.

Anyways, enjoy this letter from Crutchie!

    I see you.

    I see the tears that pour down your face. I hear your sobs, muffled by your pillow as you cry late at night. I hear the thoughts running amok through your head, each and every prayer and hope dashed by your state of mind. I hear the laughs of the kids at school, the cut glances and raised eyebrows- I hear their words, sharp as a knife and just as damaging. I feel your heartbreak, every thought dragging you deeper into the worst breakdown yet.

    I understand it, kiddo. I understand those thoughts, because I‘ve also fallen into despair like that. I know exactly what you’re thinking- I’m wrong, they’ll never accept me, I should just hurry up and go, maybe it’ll relieve them of their trouble. I know how it feels, trust me. 

    Because I have felt the same. 

    They hated people like us, remember? Hated us with a passion, so much that they didn’t believe we were people. Even now, though, I still think some of them do. We were foreign, difficult to understand, and I know how unfair it is, but most of them didn’t even try.

    The point is, I get it. And I know what you’re thinking about yourself, how much you hate how you look, how you think, how you are so different from the rest and how they all seem to notice. I know the thoughts that run through your brain… you know those ones. The ones that tell you to end it all.

    Just know this, kid- you’ll miss your life. You’ll miss your favorite music, and laughing so hard that milk comes out of your nose. You’ll miss the smell of the air right after it rains, the taste of your favorite food, the tinkling of wind chimes when the breeze picks up just so. You’ll miss the sunrises and the sunsets, the wild thunderstorms and calm rains, the highs and the lows of life. You’ll miss all of these, even if you don’t think you will, but there’s one thing you’ll miss more than anything. 

    Kiddo, I think you’ll miss you the most. I can see you now, in fact. A wonderful, kind, sweet, dream-filled person, who just doesn’t know how positively awesome they are. I know you hate yourself right now. In fact, are any of us ever really happy with who we are? But what’s important is to realize that you are you. Beautiful, unique, queer you, who’s been blessed with the best gift there is. You know what that is?

    It’s life. This life is full of twists and turns, ups and downs, crying and laughing, and all sorts of contradictions and irony. It’s the only thing you’ve got right now, hon. It’s so important to keep that with you, that hope that there’s still a life left to live.

    It got better for me, and it’ll get better for you too. All you have to do is keep on living, keep on hoping for that someday, that moment where you can be truthfully, unequivocally yourself without fear or sadness.

    So, if you’re thinking about leaving, I’ve got one word for you- stay. Stay with me, stay with those that love you, stay on this earth. Laugh, scream, yell, tear things apart and then cry because you feel so much of it. Feel anger, feel sadness, feel love, but most of all, feel hope. Keep that with you, kiddo, and I think you’ll be just fine.

    It’s getting late. I should go. Just promise me that you’ll stay here, at least for another day. Promise that you’ll find a reason to keep on going, no matter how small. If you don’t have anyone else, know that you’ve got me. 

    Goodbye, kid. Until we meet again.

    Love,

    Crutchie

[hopeymchope]

Do you think you can help me out? I don't understand why everyone loves Ibuki so much. I mean, I don't want to hate her, but the one thing I don't like is her music. It's been bothering me ever since I learned that she's a fan favorite, I want to know if anyone doesn't like Ibuki because of her music. I get that her popularity has to do with her jokes and fashion, but some of it feels like dark humor to me. You can read my blog for more info if you want (some of it doesn't make sense though).

I don't think anyone likes Ibuki's music aside from Hiyoko, lol. (Unless, of course, you're talking about that amazing fan recording of what "I Squeezed Out the Baby But I Have No Idea Who the Father Is" could sound like, which I would say is an absolute jam.) Just look at everyone else's reaction to it in-game! So you're definitely not alone in such an opinion; I'd be stunned to learn if ANY fans legitimately liked her in-game/in-anime music, actually. I always thought the whole POINT was that it's supposed to sound like a cacophony of garbage. But having some crap musical preferences isn't usually enough to hate OR love somebody, y'know? Whether they're real OR fictional.

(But please, y'all: If any of you legitimately love — or, like @dangan-kagura, totally hate — Ibuki for her.... eccentric musical style, I'd love to hear about that. I want to know you exist!)

But ultimately, I think Ibuki is beloved by the DR fanbase because of three main reasons:

A) Yes, she's funny and cartoonishly positive and speaks in the third person, but she also runs deeper/smarter than she usually acts. We do tend to really dig characters with layers to them that run deeper than our first superficial impression.

B) We also love someone who is relentlessly individualistic and shows no signs of caring what other people think of her. There's an admirable quality to her, particularly in how she's pursuing her music when we meet her.

C) A character with queer undertones (overtones?) is always a character that fandoms will gravitate towards.

Let me go a little more in-depth on those points.

Regarding point A: Obviously, Ibuki acts like a goofball a lot of the time, which can be endearing. But she also surprisingly pulls her weight in the class trials by catching others in lies, pressing people for answers, reporting on exactly what sounds/voices came from where at what points during Chapter 1's murder, and so on. She can be quite insightful — remember that in DR3's Despair Arc, she's the only person in Class 77-B who points out that there's something between Fuyuhiko and Peko — that they're clearly closer than they pretend to be. All of the above speaks to how lowkey observant she is, which supports how she can drop some legit wisdom, such as her mini-speech about "finding oneself" during her final FTE in Island Mode.

Regarding point B: As we gradually learn her background in-game from various conversations and FTEs, we find that she once wrote and co-performed a song with her Light Music Club that became a top-charting single. That fact combined with her incredible guitar skills helped her get scouted by Hope's Peak as the "Ultimate Musician." Even so, she ditched her club and quit pop music so she could make the heavier, harder music SHE wanted to make. And... it's not exactly being well-received, but she doesn't seem to give a damn. She left behind the easy route to praise and loads of cash so she could maintain her artistic integrity and do what she's passionate about and loves doing. That's easy to admire.

Regarding point C: At the end of Island Mode, if the player/Hajime suggests they could now be "lovers," she rejects that notion with a strong "DENIED!" Plus she talks about her heart pounding hard when she sees the other girls in their swimsuits. And there's her request for Mahiru to take picutres of Mikan in compromising positions when poor Tsumiki falls in Chapter 1. And, y'know... the infamous "Welcome to the world of girl love!" quote. All this together has made her be popularly believed to be gay or at least bi/pansexual, and characters with those kinds of hints just always get a lot of love from fans. Geeks do love their slash.

I hope this helped you understand why people are fond of her — including myself. I'd probably put her anywhere from tier 1 to tier 3 of my favorite characters, depending on the day. She's not a lock for the top level by any means, but I'm still a fan and enjoy her presence.

[ness-illustration]

It is the pinnacle of all human emotion. More passionate than hope, much deeper than despair. Love.

Nothing says teenage girl experience like becoming a demon because you don’t want to live in a world without your super platonic bestie.

[gayleviticus]

Better to Serve in Hell than Rule in Heaven

Kyubey: I don't believe it. Your tainted Soul Gem should have disappeared with your soul, but it hasn't! Why? Homura: Because I remembered why I repeated time and suffered over and over again; my feelings for Madoka, they run so deep that even pain has become precious to me. And as for my Soul Gem? A curse isn't what's tainted it. Kyubey: Then what is? Homura: Something you can't understand, Incubator. It is the pinnacle of all human emotion. More passion than hope, much deeper than despair. Love! - Rebellion

 I rewatched Rebellion today for the first time in about 5 years and was really struck by just how juicy Homura’s character is in the film – her selfish selflessness, her turning the whole way of the world upside down even as she perpetuates it. She’s heartbroken and guilty over leaving Madoka to sacrifice for the good of the world, so her solution here is to make herself the sacrifice instead.

If Madoka was to be a goddess, Homura’s fate is to stand against her and become the Devil. And so, she creates a paradise where no more magical girls have to suffer or become Witches or die, and where Madoka and her friends can live in peace. What’s so bad about that? The Incubators suffer, but they had it coming. Homura suffers, but it’s a sacrifice she’s willing to make.

But in the end, have things really changed? A magical girl becomes a godlike being and rewrites the entire universe to bring about her ideal happy ending, sacrificing her normal existence in the process. Madoka didn’t quite break the cycle, but rather softened it; magical girls still commit themselves to lives of endless fighting, but instead of rotting into Witches they instead find peace in Madoka’s arms when time runs out. Homura, in turn, smashes the cycle entirely, placing the burden of the world’s salvation on the Incubators’ backs… but at the cost of her own happiness.

In a sense, her Rebellion changes everything, but the logic of sacrifice endures. But perhaps this Rebellion against the world is a necessary step. For all the struggle and sacrifice, all Madoka could do was cheat a cold, cruel, impersonal cycle last-minute. But what Homura does is prove that love is stronger than such systems. And yes, it’s a twisted, flawed, unsustainable love, built on trapping Madoka in a pretty little cage as Homura tears herself apart from the inside. But it’s love nonetheless, triumphing over rigid laws and the cruelty of fate.

I’ve seen some complaints that Rebellion mischaracterises Homura – she would never do something as evil as rip Madoka out of heaven. But isn’t this basically the logical extreme of her entire raison d’etre throughout the series? Homura rewinds time again and again and again to prevent Madoka making a wish and becoming a magical girl, no matter what Madoka thinks. She takes it upon herself to become Madoka’s protector, and the painful truth is that the greater this love grows, the further she becomes from Madoka in truth.

So when Madoka decides on her final wish, Homura is terrified.

Madoka: I finally figured it out what I wanna wish for. I know what I want now more than anything else. And I'm ready to trade my life for it with no regrets. Homura: But you can't! If you do then, everything I've fought for, it's all for nothing! Episode 12: ‘My Very Best Friend’

Is it really such a surprise to think that the Homura who spent endless cycles fighting to spare Madoka from the pain of becoming a magical girl would hesitate to do the same to spare her from the pain of becoming a goddess?

At first, Homura tells herself that it’s OK. This is what Madoka wanted. But then when in Rebellion she tells Madoka about the terrifying ‘dream’ she had, where Madoka went far far away, never to be seen again, forgotten by everyone except Homura…

Homura: I was so lonely and sad... But no one understood how I felt. I started to think all my memories of you were just things I'd made up... I thought I was going crazy... Madoka: You're right... That dream does sound awful. But it's okay now, really! I'm not going anywhere, especially if it's so far away I couldn't see you again. I'd never do something like that. Rebellion

Everything falls apart. The sole consolation Homura had clung to – that Madoka was happy, that the sacrifice was worth it – comes undone. Madoka would never do something like that. How could Homura let her best friend throw her life away like that?

Madoka has no idea, of course – she has no idea how brave she’s capable of being, how much courage she has to spare for the sake of the world. But for Homura, this is where she realises that she’s made an incredibly stupid mistake.

For Homura, anything that causes Madoka pain is automatically her enemy. And when she realises how much pain becoming the Law of Cycles caused her – well, the logical conclusion is that the greatest threat to Madoka’s wellbeing is Madoka herself.

Homura: Well then, I suppose one day, you'll also be my enemy. It's fine, I don't care. I'll keep wishing for a world where you can be happy. Rebellion

So Homura selfishly chooses to override Madoka’s wish, out of pure, selfless love. Out of love for Madoka, she turns herself into the Devil, a suitable foe to fight a Goddess. Out of love for Madoka, she has imprisoned the girl within a prison of illusions. Out of love for Madoka, she has essentially renounced Madoka’s love.

There’s something utterly selfless about this. Homura is willing to make Madoka – her little pet bird singing sweetly in a silver garden – her enemy. She puts Madoka’s welfare first and foremost, even if it means someday Madoka might reject her, or fight her, or perhaps even hate her. In order to prove her love for Madoka, Homura is happy to never be loved by Madoka in return. Without hope, without witness, without reward, she takes the burden from her shoulders. Better to serve in Hell than rule in Heaven.

But there’s something undeniably selfish here. Who cares what Madoka wants? Madoka comes all the way to save her from her self-inflicted hell within the Soul Gem, and yet Homura refuses because she knows best. Madoka’s job is sing sweetly by the window, never leaving, trapped within a never-ending beginning, with the door to adulthood firmly closed. Madoka is not really a human, a girl, a friend – she’s an idol, to be cherished and protected by any means necessary.

If witches are born of the selfish wishes of magical girls (such as Sayaka’s wish done in hope of having Kyousuke fall in love with her), and goddess born of pure and selfless wishes, then it’s no surprise that Homura’s selflessly selfish love would create the Devil herself.

[niconebula]

homura akemi ?

I got the same character twice so I am going 2 reply directly to my friend but yes I saw you too anon!

favourite thing about them: her girlboss swagger. noo but seriously shes just such a one of a kind character. she's incredibly intense which I like and she's the star when she shows up, has an incredible amount of depth behind her actions and is taken really seriously as this fully fleshed out person.

least favourite thing about them: even her negative traits are part of the appeal so. hmmm. i'm not as much of a fan of glasses "moemura" that they keep pushing in the game to make her cute and marketable. i dont really care for magireco as a whole though.

favourite line: most famously: "more passionate than hope, and far deeper than despair, love".

brOTP: kyoko and homura. everyone talks about it but it's still so underrated. i think a lot of people forget how much she cares about kyoko. they fundamentally understand each other, the way they're both trying to protect the people they love. both traumatized by their religious upbringings, both experienced death prior to the events of the series, they're both misunderstood and labelled as the enemy but push forward anyways. homura obviously has a lot of respect for kyoko considering she personally reaches out for her help in every timeline including rebellion. love them.

OTP: i wonder what this is! its so classic its so iconic its the blueprint its a shakespearean tragedy they are ying and yang they are literally god and satan it is great. not influenced at all by me watching madoka at the ripe age of 13 and it changing my braincells for the worse.

nOTP: the incredibly cursed spin-off where she marries ... tatsuya... to get closer to madoka. this is real and i do not know who the audience was.

random headcanon: this is interesting because even though madoka is my longest running fixation, I never really "fandomized" it and my interest is mostly kept within the realm of source material - i don't make or think of my own scenarios. that being said, I have dabbled in lots of doujins and the idea of her existing solely on calorie-mates (japanese meal replacement bars) is canon to me

unpopular opinion: trying to think of a truly unpopular opinion is hard but. as a homura / madohomu enjoyer it's like well, just maybe, their relationship is kind of toxic and that it's part of the enjoyment that she or they both are a little krayzee and incredibly dramatic

song i associate with them: "hunger" by florence and the machine :)

favourite picture of them:

certified classic, drew this during art class in grade 9 except also with the top of her head cut off and I think that scared some of my classmates

[momthesearemydinnerguests]

TVL Liveblog:

So I'm currently a little over halfway through TVL, and I realize I haven't kept up with liveblogging my read through. So here are a couple of things that have been on my mind a lot as I'm reading. (I am currently a little over halfway through the book!)

Narrative Parallels and the Persistence of Hope

Currently I am obsessed with the Lestat/Daneil and Lestat/Armand parallels when it comes to Lestat's final goodbye to Armand in the tower. There are a LOT of Gothic doubles/dialectic parallels when it comes to this book - especially in relation to IWTV - but these are the two I'm going to focus on for now because I want to talk about the tower scene and Lestat's farewell to Armand.

Let's start with the Daniel/Lestat parallel. There's a scene right after Armand reveals his whole backstory when Lestat asks Armand, "Why is it you don't hearken to your own story?" (It's on page 310 in my copy). And obviously it's really reminiscent to the way Daniel accuses Louis of not understanding the meaning of his own story, of what it means to someone like Daniel. And in both cases, it reads very much like a child yelling at an elder. Kind of like a teenager screaming that their parent just doesn't understand and slamming the door. Except, you know, the age gap here is centuries. Armand is about 300 years older than Lestat, Louis is about 200 years older than Daniel. So in a way, the younger characters represent modernity, the changing age, and their inability to understand the elder is the struggle of every historian ever.

But I think that the parallel between Lestat and Armand is super heartbreaking. Because when Armand is speaking to Lestat, he's speaking from experience. Lestat and Armand are a lot more alike than Lestat is willing to believe. They both have incredibly traumatic, loveless childhoods. Both are stolen from their homes and taken against their will by the master vampire who ultimately turns them. Both lose their master to the fire (supposedly) only shortly after being turned. There's even the similarities between their experiences with the monastery and the way it is snatched away from them, regardless of their different motivations for pursuing it. Most importantly, though, both Armand and Lestat are defined by their defiance and inability to accept the world at face value. They both desperately want the world to have some deeper meaning, to be better and more beautiful than it is.

So I think when Armand is describing the great laws of the Children of Darkness - when he tells Lestat that an old vampire should never give the dark blessing to a mortal and when he says that "those with great passion and indomitable will should be avoided as well as those who have none" - he truly believes it. And it's not because of any belief in God or Satan. I can't shake the feeling that it's because he is talking about himself. He is his own cautionary tale. Even his attempts to destroy Lestat a little earlier in the chapter can kind of be read as an attack on himself. But I think it is as much an act of mercy as it is one of hatred. Because Armand was so much like Lestat, and it has left him with nothing but ever-increasing despair.

And yet.

Even when Armand believes himself to have lost all hope and all desire, he still finds ways to persevere. His refusal to take an active part in the kill on the one hand reads kind of like a vampire ED, but it's also in a way a rejection of the Children of Satan's views. Even as he swears he is evil, he is still clinging to the traditions of the saints that he loved so dearly as a mortal. He is asserting his own identity and rebelling against the trauma he's suffered. And then in his goodbyes to Lestat, he says, "I will take the gold you have to offer me, and I will seek refuge in this tower. And I will learn from your passionate fledgling whatever he has to teach me. But I reach for these things only because they float on the surface of the darkness in which I am drowning. And I would not descend without some finer understanding. I would not leave eternity to you without... without some final battle." (315) Armand at this point doesn't really believe that he can actually live again. He has lost all hope in his own recovery, and it very much reads like someone who is suicidal and doesn't really believe in the point of trying. And yet there is still the faintest shimmer of hope. He doesn't recognize it as such, of course, and to him it probably looks more like pride and willfulness. But even his hopelessness, there is still the ghost of hope. And there is always a chance that the revenant of that hope will rise again and give life some new meaning.

[tyrantzeye]

just shed tears over "more passionate than hope, much deeper than despair: love." guys go watch rebellion